Original subtitles

‐ Come on, come on. ‐ Okay.

[laughing]

Oh, not in your apartment.

Oh, we actually got away with it.

Yeah, pretty amazing, considering half the night

you were screaming like a banshee.

Hah!

So? You were the one cooing like a pigeon.

‐ Oh. ‐ Even after you fell asleep.

Yeah, well, you know.

You are the only woman who has ever elicited

coos from a Barker.

‐ Ooh. ‐ Rrr.

‐ Oh! ‐ Woo.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Max, Max.

Max, Max, Max, Max.

It's okay. It's just Overton.

What do you mean, it's just Overton?

Well, he knows.

He knows what?

I know you'll need to oil that box spring.

Freaka‐fregade‐fregade ‐fradgady‐freak.

First, Khadijah. Now, Overton.

Wait, wait, wait. Khadijah knows?

She knows if she tells, I'll kill her.

And the same goes for you, Mr. Handy Boy.

Oh, my lip's are sealed.

Unlike yours, Miss Pigeon Noises.

‐ That was Kyle. ‐ Oh, yeah.

Yeah, right. Like that was you doing that.

Ah, she's right man. You know, she hit that spot‐‐.

Oh, no. No, you went

[cooing]

Stop it.

[laughing]

What's so funny?

‐ Ah, nothing. ‐ Ah, nothing.

Overton Wakefield Jones.

Your eyelid twitches that way

when you're holding something back or telling a lie.

What's going on?

Oh, woman, can't a man moisten his cornea

without you getting suspicious?

I'm telling you, n‐nothing's going on.

Alright, tell me you like

my cottage cheese key lime cobbler.

It's a taste sensation.

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Single ♪

♪ Ooh and in a nineties kind of world ♪

♪ I'm glad I got my girls ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ What? ♪

♪ Keep your head up ♪ ♪ That's right ♪

♪ Whenever this life get tough ♪ ♪ You gotta fight with ♪

♪ My homegirls standing to my left and my right ♪

♪ True blue it's tight like glue ♪

♪ We are living ♪ ♪ Check check check it out ♪

♪ Check check check it out ♪ ♪ Single ♪

♪ Do what you want, girlfriend cause it's your world ♪

♪ Haa ♪

Okay, dad.

Well, I don't have mommy's number in front of me right now.

So why don't you just give me your number?

And the, I'll have her call you.

Alright, let me get a pen.

Yeah, go ahead.

Uh‐huh.

Okay, alright. Got it. Bye.

So is your dad coming to the wedding?

Unfortunately, he's in town early

and he wants to take me and my mom

to brunch for Mother's Day.

I love brunch.

It's like breakfast and lunch all rolled up into one.

Oh, oh, that's it.

Breakfast and lunch to..

I just got that, girl.

I don't know why you even invited him in the first place.

The man just went through his third divorce.

Think he'd be sick of weddings by now.

Oh, now, let's put a Band‐Aid on that emotional boo‐boo.

You know, your father's kinda cool.

He taught us how to play basketball

and he taught us that really neat card game.

Ah, what was it, uh, three‐card Monte?

Claire, the man spent more time in Atlantic City

than he did with us.

Maybe he liked the ocean.

Maybe he liked any place that wasn't home.

Alright, Khadijah.

I know that your father was not the perfect father.

But‐but maybe my wedding is the perfect opportunity

for you two to get together and chit and chat.

‐ Chit and chat? ‐ 'Yeah.'

Well, what we going to chit and chat about?

Why I only see him once a year?

Or how are your other kids?

Where is that dirt bike you promised me

for my tenth birthday?

Huh, where is it?

Where is the bike?

‐ I never got the bike. ‐ I know.

‐ The bike never came. ‐ Ding‐ding‐ding.

‐ Ding‐ding‐ding. ‐ I really wanted that bike.

Ding‐ding‐ding.

Alright, I tried. You win.

Happy cousin, zero. Stank attitude cousin, one.

Here, have a refreshing drink. I'm sorry.

Hey, sweetie, um..

The baker is having a problem

with your wedding cake.

Now, he say's that he can make it in the shape of a daisy

but it's too heavy to balance on a liquorice stem.

El chorro.

Hey, wait a minute.

Is this one your trick's to keep

my, my‐my reception from being "an atrocity?"

You know, I get the feeling you think

this event is all about you and Overton.

Other people have reputations at stake here.

Yeah, you're right, Regine. We're bad people.

[gasps] Just throw this out.

Did it ever occur to you that Overton doesn't want

a wedding cake shaped like a big old funky daisy?

Wait, now. Maybe that's what he and Kyle are keeping from me.

Overton keeping secret's from you?

Please girl, that's like Snap and Crackle

keeping secrets from Pop.

‐ Yeah, it's no big whoop. ‐ Yeah, you're right.

Okay, so this cake. Now, we've got this‐‐

I bet it's some little thing wrong with his car.

Something little like that.

Synclaire, why don't you just ask him?

I don't want to ask him. I don't want him to think

I don't trust him.

Especially this close to the wedding.

I mean, I‐it's a bad sign.

You know what's a bad sign at a wedding?

No cake!

What if it's something huge?

What if he needs a heart transplant

or‐or liver transplant?

Or chin, a whole new chin?

What will he touch when he is thinking?

Regine, you've got to help me.

Clearly somebody has to.

Alright, what do you want me to do?

Well, girl..

You know how you're this evil little busy body.

Well, why don't you just be a dear and find out for me?

Alright, but only because I need a semi‐sane bride.

Consider this a gift here.

So when your actual wedding day comes

and you get something modest, you understand.

I still can't believe it.

My mother eating with my father.

I mean, who ever heard of such a thing?

Bolt the door.

The four horsemen of the apocalypse are on their way.

Oh, come on, Khadijah.

It will be fun to see Uncle Eddie.

Remember that neat magic trick he used to do?

Oh, yeah, the one where he disappears

whenever you need him.

Before I help you get through this

why don't you think of him as just another man?

You know, a puppy with pants.

Look, I'll be fine. I'm just going to support my moms..

[knock on door]

For her sake, I'mma play this whole thing on the low.

Just watch me. You're going to be proud.

Ma.

Mummy, mummy, what were you thinking?

Hello to you, too.

‐ Aunt Rita, Rita, Rita. ‐ Hello.

Okay, look, ju‐just‐just tell me

why would you have brunch with daddy?

Well, your father finally realized that I deserve

to celebrate at least one Mother's Day.

And I'mma take him up on it.

I can't remember the last time the man brought me

a stick of gum.

Oh, I get it.

We're going to go out and juice him.

Break his pockets a little some‐some.

Ma, your good. Go ahead, ma. You witty, witty, ma.

[knock on door]

Uncle Eddie. Uncle Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Your pops is fine.

How come I'm getting older and you aren't?

You are so silly.

[chuckles]

I got a little cheek he can kiss, too.

'Oh, a big one.'

Look at my little Hoover star. Still beautiful.

Hey, you still playing ball?

Oh, no, no. I have a job.

Bill's to pay.

Responsibility. You know how it is.

Oh, no, you don't, do you?

Khadijah. Khadijah!

Well, that's, that's alright, Rita.

She has got the gift of sarcasm.

It's a James thing.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Oh, Maxine Shaw.

Attorney, alder‐woman.

I've heard everything. Everything about you.

And if you take me to dinner, I'll forget it all.

[laughing]

‐ She means it. ‐ 'Yeah.'

Ah, I'm sorry, I just want this to be with the family.

Speaking of which.

Synclaire, where is this young man of yours?

I have no idea where he is.

You know how men are.

Always off doing things nobody knows about.

I don't know where he is. I don't..

I can't believe I don't know where he is..

‐ Okay, okay. ‐ Tell me anything.

Just going out having secret's like he's‐‐.

So, uh, are my two favorite ladies

ready for a night out on a town?

Well, I don't know about your two favorite ladies

whoever they maybe, but the mother

of your first born and the daughter who you only see

when it's convenient are ready to eat.

Like I'm Overton's keeper. Please.

He is trying to keep stuff from me.

We fitting of getting married? Oh, ho, ho.

That won't happen, once the ring is on the finger.

Oh, no. Don't you mess with me.

You tell me, when and where for art thou, Overton.

Yes, don't mess with me.

[jazz music]

[laughing]

Khadijah, you were so adorable.

Do you remember whenever you would get an upset stomach?

No.

You would make me sing

the "Get Well Tummy" song

and rub your belly.

And you'd get mad at me because I didn't sing it right.

That's right. That's right.

I don't remember any of this.

Oh, yeah.

Check this out.

Here I am singing to your belly

when you were five years old.

‐ That's my tootsie roll bank. ‐ 'Yeah.'

I can't believe you carry this around in your wallet.

‐ I look miserable. ‐ No. Your stomach hurt.

Or maybe it was your singing.

Ah, now, maybe I can get the band to play

something to lighten up the mood.

Golly, ma. You are a heck of an actress.

You almost got me convinced you're falling for this garbage.

I'm not falling for anything.

Your father and I get along fine

just as long as we're not married.

But, ma, this was suppose to be about payback.

And the look on his face when we hit him

with that fat check and bounce.

Band didn't even know "The Get Well Tummy Song."

But it turns out they know our song.

‐ May I have this dance with‐‐ ‐ No.

This is Mother's Day, and I'm the mother.

[jazz music]

Your parents?

They look just great together.

Your a very lucky young lady.

Now, if that were true

this wouldn't be happening to me.

Including you talking to me.

[music continues]

Now here's the kicker.

You could retrieve any phone number you want

just by speaking into this bad boy.

But you got to program it first

so recognize your voice, see..

Attention, this is your mother.

Learn my voice or get sent back to the store.

‐ That is all. ‐ Oh, how nice.

Two people who don't live here

and one of them is yelling.

Why don't we just kick a hole

in the sofa for the fun of it?

I'm down.

Um, Overton.

Pfft. I don't need to be clever. This is just you.

Now, I understand that you and Kyle are keeping

something from Synclaire.

What is it?

I just love that movie "Casino."

Especially that scene where they stick that guys head

in the vice and tighten it until his eyes... pop out.

Um, uh, Regine, the‐the secret is, um..

Synclaire had her heart set

on honeymooning in Australia

and I'm more afraid of koala bears

than I am of clowns.

Yeah. True that. True that.

I mean, people, people think they are cute

but they are still bears.

Now you know my shame.

[telephone ringing]

Hello.

Hello, mother.

Ooh, gossip.

What's up, girl?

Girl, I don't know what happened.

I mean, at first, it was us against him.

Then it was their song. Then it was my migraine.

Next thing I know, they were laughing

and dropping me off.

Good work, mom.

Sookey‐sookey, now.

According to my mother

your mother and your father

are on their way to Atlantic City in a limo.

Atlantic City?

Aw, well, isn't that romantic?

In a cruel, heartless sort of way.

Oh, my God.

This is my fault.

I just sat there and let her get taken in by him.

Well, I'm not letting her go out like that.

Hmm, no girl. Come on, let's go.

I just got to run upstairs and get my camera.

Mom wants me to take some pictures.

Sorry, Regine. This is a family thing.

What?

Come on, Max. You driving.

'Max?'

Since when is she family?

Well, she ain't been around with you.

‐ You want that. ‐ She ain't been around..

Khadijah. Khadijah. Please, Khadijah.

We have searched every stupid inch of every damn casino.

Now, if I don't start to get some freaking food

I may just to get cranky.

Well, you better wrestle Cleopatra

for a bowl of them pretzels because I'm not stopping

until I find my parents.

No.

[gasps]

Look. Look at them.

The faces of those people in the buffeteria.

They know something about your mother and father.

I say we go question them.

Ooh, hoo, hoo. Ooh, bad for you heart.

Bad for your heart.

Would you look at that?

Oh, I know.

An all you can eat Belgium waffle bar.

No.

Well, how could you do this to me?

Didn't we drop you off three hours from here?

Khadijah, how's your headache?

It's getting worse.

You know, those waffles are all you can eat.

Khadijah, you're being rude and ridiculous.

Ma, can't you see he's just trying to play you?

Except this time with less hair?

What are you talking about?

He brought you to Atlantic City!

Some high rolling, a few drinks

you wake up in his complimentary hotel room.

First of all, there is no hotel room.

Second, your father stopped gambling seven years ago.

And the only reason we're here

is to see the Smokey Robinson Show.

Oh!

Oh‐oh. You know this is not the real crab meat.

This is a fake crab meat.

Not that I care.

Thank you!

After all that's happened, how can you hang out with him?

Look, baby, nobody has been as angry

with your father as I have.

But I can either carry that bitterness to my grave

or sit in the front row with my ex and wink at Smokey.

I hear you on that, ma. That's‐that's great.

But it is gonna take Smokey

and a whole lot more miracles for me to move on.

Now, hold up there, Khadijah! Hold up there!

Give me five minutes to load up.

They just took the skin off the gravy.

Just five minutes!

Just taking few things.

Few things for the road.

For the road!

Time for my midnight snack.

Girl, I'm getting into that wedding dress

if I got to drink diet shakes all night long.

Well, I didn't get any decent dirt

but I saved your marriage and I guess that's something.

Really? You‐you know what Overton's keeping from me?

Hmm.

Okay, well, tell me! No, don't.

Well, come on. Tell me!

No, don't, don't, don't.

Okay, I know.

I'll go into the living room

you pretend like you're telling someone else.

And I'll just overhear. Okay. Go!

Okay, before you drive us both completely insane.

Overton doesn't want a vacation in Australia

because he's afraid of koala bears.

That's absurd!

When Overton was three he fell into the koala habitat

at the Cleveland Zoo.

The mama koala scooped him up to safety and he was fine.

Girl, the whole thing was on "Those Amazing Animals."

I've been duped by Overton Wakefield Jones?

Apparently!

Hey, ladies. Uh..

Got any more of those diet shakes?

Found out that's a great way to wash down cheese cake.

You liar!

Well, don't knock till you try.

Overton, there's something I'd like to discuss with you.

Something of a personal and private nature.

Ah, well, you be that way, then, you hear.

I'll just go over to Kyle's

and see if homeboy able to drive me to Atlantic City.

It is time to stop the insanity.

You and Kyle are keeping something from me

and I want you to tell me what it is.

I, I can't do that, baby.

What? I'm about to be your wife!

Look, Kyle is my best friend

and I promised not to divulge the information.

Alright.

What about I promised to the same secrecy

plus I give you a yummy marshmallow massage?

Kyle and Max are doing the wild thing again. Let's go.

Wait, wait, wait. That's your secret?

Oh, I knew that!

The‐the, his room is right above mine.

I hear, heard them through the vent one night.

Oh, please.

Guess what?

Max coos like a pigeon.

Child, that's Kyle.

‐ No! ‐ Yeah.

Coo, coo!

[coins jingling]

[laughing] Did I ever tell you

how my father used to take us fly fishing?

In Montana. Every summer.

Every sum.. Every summer! Every damn summer!

Large mouth bass.

Woo‐hoo.

Well, at least your father was there.

I had a drive‐by daddy.

Every now and then, he'd roll up

throw a few empty promises my way

and keep on moving.

Oh, I get it.

Mm‐hmm. Forget him.

Oh, look who's driving up on you now.

Alright. I guess I'll go watch

Moses free his people from Egypt.

They got a show in 15 minutes.

Who is your messiah now?

It's better if you use the lever.

A‐and when you pull it

yank it like you mean it.

I can handle it! Thank you!

You never did listen to me.

Well, I've kind of a short attention span.

Especially since I only hear from you

every six months.

You know, the only reason you're here is for Synclaire's wedding!

No, I'm here because I wanted to be with my family.

Khadijah, when your mother and I had you

we were younger than you are now!

I wasn't ready to be a father

and I made a lot of mistakes!

A whole lot of mistakes, daddy.

Mad goo gobs of mistakes.

Why you wait until now to say it?

Another mistake.

But I'm still your father.

Maybe you feel like you don't need me

but I need you.

Why?

'Cause you are one of the few things in my life

I didn't mess up!

Khadijah, you became

a strong, intelligent..

Beautiful young woman.

I just wish I could say I had more to do with it.

So do I.

I'm sorry, I..

I don't know how I can pay you back

for all the times I wasn't there.

Give me a dollar.

Okay.

Come on!

A‐almost. Just pull down faster.

Let it go and snap!

Uh.. Uh..

‐ Damn! ‐ Damn!

Come on, give me more! Give me more!

Khadijah, I'm not trying to buy your affections.

For three dollars?

Look, I‐I I'm gonna go find your mother

and tell her where we are.

I'll be back, I promise.

Alright.

Hey!

[slot machines clanging]

Come on. Come..

Oh!

[coins jingling]

Big money! Daddy!

Dad! Oh, my God! Ha, ha!

'Whoo!'

I won!

Me, with my father's money!

I did it!

[theme music]