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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,533 ♪ Yes, I ride the lightning, yes, I'm on the go ♪ 2 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:40,113 ♪ And when I go down slow, I need more power now ♪ 3 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,245 ♪ It keeps me damn lucky, yes, it just won't stop ♪ 4 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,794 ♪ I'm lit to pop, oh yes, I got the power now ♪ 5 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,423 ♪ I got a secret that I'm gonna tell ♪ 6 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,302 ♪ I'm feeling power from the pit of hell, yeah ♪ 7 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,558 ♪ I got something to say ♪ 8 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:06,309 ♪ I think I'm gonna say it ♪ 9 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,356 ♪ The power's flowing, and it just won't stop ♪ 10 00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:15,565 ♪ I touch a woman, make the flesh burn hot, yeah ♪ 11 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:19,364 ♪ Want love to spread, I think I'm gonna spread it ♪ 12 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,953 ♪ The secret's easy, now lend me your ear ♪ 13 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,997 ♪ Don't hesitate, there's not a thing to fear ♪ 14 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,297 ♪ Oh yes, I ride the lightning, yes, I'm on the go ♪ 15 00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:34,671 ♪ And when I go down slow, I need more power now ♪ 16 00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:37,715 ♪ It keeps me damn lucky, yes, it just won't stop ♪ 17 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,646 ♪ Pm lit to pop, oh yes, I got the power now ♪ 18 00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:41,390 Do you know how fast you were going? 19 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,387 No, I don't, Officer. 20 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,970 Turn that radio off, please. 21 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,519 That's not the radio. That's the band practicing. 22 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,111 Is that marijuana? 23 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,982 You got a party bowl up there? 24 00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,076 Mm, nah. 25 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,910 It's okay, it's okay. ls it good? 26 00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:03,112 Mm. 27 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:06,744 Yeah. Open it up! I'm fucking boarding you! 28 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:10,078 5-0! 5-0 coming on board. 29 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,621 Officer, you can't just waltz on in here! 30 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:13,956 Do you know who these guys are? 31 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,296 Unplug this shit right now. 32 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,135 No way. 33 00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,759 No fucking way. 34 00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,721 ♪ I got a secret that I'm gonna tell ♪ 35 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,135 ♪ Fm feeling power ♪ 36 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,266 ♪ From the pit of hell, yeah ♪ 37 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:30,268 ♪ I got something to say ♪ 38 00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,066 ♪ I think I'm gonna say it... ♪ 39 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,152 Holy shit! 40 00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:37,169 You guys are the highway cops 41 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,031 that got shut down and became local cops. 42 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,238 Then due to some kinda crazy "incident" 43 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,361 you got kicked off of that force, 44 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,615 so you started playing music. 45 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:47,365 And before you knew it, you won America's Got Talent. 46 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,875 You're Cracklin' Bacon! 47 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,036 What a long, strange trip it's been. 48 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,545 I love you guys! 49 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,501 Oh, I gotta tell my partner. 50 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,147 He's not gonna believe this! Okay, hold on. 51 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,562 Dude, you gotta get over here right now. 52 00:02:58,577 --> 00:02:59,358 Copy. 53 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,428 He's gonna shit his pants. 54 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,611 You know what'd be hilarious? When he comes on the bus, 55 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,112 kick him in the nuts as hard as you can. 56 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,803 - Really? - Just drill the guy! 57 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,388 What the hell is going on in here? 58 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,979 Down he goes! 59 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:17,520 Oh, my God! You're Cracklin' Bacon! 60 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,605 - Yeah. - You guys are my favorite band ever! 61 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:22,070 What? You didn't even know who Cracklin' Bacon was 62 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,215 until I played them for you. 63 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:24,245 Yeah, I did! 64 00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,717 Oh, really? What's your favorite song? 65 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:26,747 "Pulled Pork." 66 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,368 - Yeah? How does it go then? - Uh... 67 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,371 ♪ I'm gonna eat you like a pulled pork sandwich ♪ 68 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,333 ♪ Get inside your bread like a hot steak Manwich ♪ 69 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,627 This guy's got some pipes! 70 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,634 Hey, how would you like to join Cracklin' Bacon? 71 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,067 We're looking for a new lead singer. 72 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,132 Holy shit! 73 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,047 Yeah, oh, I can do it better than him. 74 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,975 ♪ I'm gonna eat you like a pulled pork sandwich ♪ 75 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:51,228 ♪ Kung Fu you like a Jackie Chan-wish I 76 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,180 Not bad. 77 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,858 - Yeah. - You guys clearly have the sound. 78 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,394 But do you have the moves? Hit it. 79 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,614 Fist-pumps! 80 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,692 Pelvic thrusts. 81 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:05,992 Shake your tail feathers. 82 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,369 Shake that ass. 83 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,379 - Now kiss each other. - I'm sorry. Come again? 84 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,282 Come on, rock and roll! Rock and roll, baby! 85 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,780 - Do it! - Kiss him! 86 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:15,040 Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! 87 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,510 I knew you were fucking with us. 88 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,803 You're fucking with us, man! 89 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,653 All right, all right. You guys clearly have 90 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,005 what it takes for rock and roll. 91 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,180 But there's one more test you gotta pass 92 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,602 before we let you join Cracklin' Bacon. 93 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:36,357 We wanna know if you can keep up with Juicy Lucy. 94 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,272 She looks pretty juicy to me. 95 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:40,486 Oh, no, she's in the back. 96 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,362 But I warn you, she can be quite a handful. 97 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:44,948 Let's go handle that! 98 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,031 Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy! 99 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,367 About to get juicy up in here! 100 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:52,448 Hey, baby. 101 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:53,828 Hello, Juicy Lucy. 102 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,494 Oh, that's not Lucy. Lucy's better. 103 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,002 Oh, man! 104 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,797 Fellas, on the other side of this door 105 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,876 is everlasting fame and glory. 106 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,259 You get the giney, I'll get the hiney. 107 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:12,267 Say hello to Lucy! 108 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,265 Move it or lose it! It's time to cruise it! 109 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:18,440 Let's do it! 110 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,234 Motherfucker! 111 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,448 "♪ I got a secret that I'm gonna tell ♪" 112 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,868 ♪ I'm feeling power from the pit of hell, yeah... ♪ 113 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,655 - Son-of-a-bitch! - Crap damnit! 114 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,825 We sang our hearts off for those guys. Our hearts! 115 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,307 ♪ The power's flowing ♪ 116 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,793 "♪ And it just won't stop ♪" 117 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,019 ♪ I touch a woman, make the flesh burn hot... ♪ 118 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,164 We got company. 119 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,341 ♪ Yeah, want love to spread ♪ 120 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,714 ♪ I think I'm gonna spread it' ♪ 121 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,430 ♪ The secret's easy... ♪ 122 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,258 Can't outrun the law, motherfucker! 123 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:56,353 ♪ Don't hesitate, there's not a thing to fear, oh yes... ♪ 124 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,056 Fuck you, Cracklin' Bacon! 125 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,359 Whoa! 126 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,644 ♪ It keeps me damn lucky... ♪ 127 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,460 ♪ Yes, it just won't stop ♪ 128 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,651 ♪ I'm lit to pop ♪ 129 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:07,856 Oh, shit! 130 00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:13,450 Motherfucker. 131 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,323 Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. 132 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,874 Hey! 133 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:21,169 Ah. 134 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,629 Suck these fucking bullets, bitch! 135 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,309 Oh, shit! Mac. Hey, stay with me. Stay with me. 136 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:43,271 We almost got those stupid cops... 137 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:47,733 - ...to kiss. - Shit. 138 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,451 What's that? 139 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:55,664 What the-- 140 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,864 Whoa! 141 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:07,885 Shit! 142 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,719 Hey- 143 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,385 I still love those guys. 144 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,425 Yeah, they're cool as hell. 145 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:17,554 I mean, look at him. 146 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:18,896 Still cool. 147 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,329 We should probably hide that body, though. 148 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,359 - Yeah. - Yeah. 149 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,601 Hey, great driving, Thorn! 150 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,771 Thorny? Thorny? 151 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,531 Oh, my God! He's dead! 152 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,073 Ha-ha! 153 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,525 - Aha! - I got you, motherfucker! 154 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,492 - I'm not dead! I'm alive! - He's alive! 155 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,375 Look out! 156 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:41,408 Holy fuck! 157 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,427 Ahhh! 158 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,224 You sleeping, baby boy? 159 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,559 No, I'm just checking out the ceiling, Farva. 160 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,064 Good work up there. 161 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,987 All right, pull out your caulk and let's go. 162 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,074 What'? 163 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,616 Let's go! I'm standing here with my caulk in my hand. 164 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,257 Grab your caulk, let's put it in the holes! 165 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,327 - Come on, let me see that big caulk. - Oh, shut up. 166 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,704 Show me your Rabbit caulk! 167 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:20,951 You know what's funny, Farva? 168 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,332 You've made that joke 400 times 169 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,534 and it still sucks. 170 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,245 Fuck you, Mac. You don't talk to your site supervisor like that. 171 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,103 That's one demerit on your permanent record. 172 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,420 On my permanent construction record? 173 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,107 That's right. You want another one, keep it up. 174 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,525 Give me another and I'll pinch your dick. 175 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,360 - That's two. You want to go for three? - Okay. 176 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,256 Bingo! You got it! You want another one? 177 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,840 - Pretty, pretty please. - You got it! 178 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,407 - You want another one? - I'll take them all! 179 00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,837 That's seven! You want another one?! 180 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,432 - Give me ten! - Bingo! 181 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,558 Mac! 182 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,855 Stop. 183 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:49,852 You mess with the bull, you get covered in bullshit. 184 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,075 - What a tool. - Yeah. 185 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,701 I had the craziest dream. 186 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,158 Who were the cops this time? 187 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,617 Stifler and Damon Wayans Jr. 188 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:02,791 Did they almost kiss? 189 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,166 Yeah. Yeah. Almost got them to. 190 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,620 ♪ Hoisting another glass ♪ 191 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:08,714 Uh, hello. 192 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:11,419 - Morning, Mac! - Good morning, Uncle Argyle. 193 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:13,716 Code names? ls Farva nearby? 194 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,544 Oh, yeah. Spitting distance. 195 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,925 Do me a favor, Spackle his mouth shut. 196 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,180 Okay, will do. 197 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:22,259 So, change of location for this weekend's fishing trip. 198 00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,019 Just over the Canadian border. 199 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,846 Oh, sweet! I love Canada. 200 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,898 Good one! I'll mail you the address. 201 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,771 What, like with a stamp? Just text me. 202 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:34,526 Text? Oh, you mean like, uh, mail text? Yeah. 203 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,490 I do believe I have that facility on this phone. 204 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:39,322 Okay, will do. 205 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,217 That's it. I'm teaching you how to text this weekend. 206 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,802 - No personal calls, Mac. - What the fuck? 207 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,119 - Whoop. - Oh, God damn it, Farva. 208 00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,286 - I told you no personal calls. - It was a sales call. 209 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,659 Oh, yeah? What were they selling? 210 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,603 Ooh, was it canned salmon? I love canned salmon. 211 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,563 It's better than tuna, you know. It's a salty fish. 212 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,628 I like a salty fish. 213 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,335 Like a grouper or maybe a branzino. 214 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,553 Something that really jerks off your blood pressure. 215 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,879 You know what's salty? Turtle. You ever had turtle before? 216 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,678 Saltiest part'? The shell. 217 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,824 What do I have to say to get you to end this conversation? 218 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,294 You could say, "The guy on the phone" 219 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,767 "was trying to sell me hard dicks."" 220 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,704 The guy on the phone was trying to sell me hard dicks. 221 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,566 I bet you bought a baker's dozen. 222 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:12,734 Let's lay some caulk! 223 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:15,438 I got fresh caulk, everybody! Hot caulk here. 224 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,693 Who wants caulk? 225 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,033 He really wants to leave right from work, huh? 226 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,862 He said, "Real men travel light." 227 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,920 God, he looks ridiculous. 228 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,134 No, I think he looks pretty cool. 229 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,488 Like the Brawny Paper Towel Guy. 230 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:46,010 See, I was gonna say the Bombay Paper Towel Guy. 231 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,104 Hey, Thorn. 232 00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,646 Hey. Job sucks. It's all sap and splinters. 233 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,566 Now it smells like Bombay. You wanna put 234 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,772 - that shirt back on? - Whew! 235 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,940 Breathe it in, little fella. 236 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,444 That's the smell of a mountain man. 237 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,946 Right. Okay, what time you due back at the hobo zoo? 238 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,029 Hey, hey! 239 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,616 What's up, guys? Nice ride! 240 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:09,791 Hey, Chief. 241 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,118 Son of a bitch. 242 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,704 - Ta-da! - Hey! 243 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,004 What's up, Foster? 244 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,415 He is all yours. 245 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,671 I'm tired of him riding in my sidecar anyway. 246 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,161 That's not what you said last night. 247 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,901 Chief, we have a '214 248 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,262 out at the Shuck n' Rack Motel. 249 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,384 Officer needs guidance. 250 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,281 - I'll be right there. - Copy. 251 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,911 I wish you guys didn't get fired. 252 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,433 We weren't fired. We were invited to resign. 253 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,976 - Ah. - Ooh, I like that. 254 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,812 No, you were fired. There was that ride-along gone wrong. 255 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,735 Then you were fired. 256 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,345 We'll just have to agree to disagree. 257 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:41,273 All right. Well, you fellas have fun. 258 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,942 Just get him back in one piece, all right? 259 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,282 With the rod. I'm gonna need it next weekend. 260 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:47,372 - Hello! - Okay. 261 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,572 That's my girl. 262 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,031 All right, boys, let's go fishing. 263 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,018 And the beauty is, the black is so black 264 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,163 that it's really blue. 265 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,998 I mean, it's really midnight blue. 266 00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,758 Ah, just like the old days, huh? 267 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:01,259 Driving around the countryside, 268 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,906 listening to Thorny talk about his dick. 269 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,736 - I miss the old days. - That's bullshit, man. 270 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,382 That Fred Savage thing was not our fault. 271 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,058 Actors shouldn't do ride-alongs. 272 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,699 Actors shouldn't even try to play cops. 273 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,329 I mean, they never get it right. 274 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,900 - Hey there. - How you doin'? 275 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,315 Good. You boys here for business or pleasure? 276 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,893 - Just going fishing. - Good timing. 277 00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,697 You'll be up to yer tits in the walleye. 278 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,904 I caught one last week. Was seven kilograms. 279 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,033 Is that big? 280 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,536 Is that big? That's like nine decimeters from tip to tail. 281 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,832 - You a jigger man? - What did you call me? 282 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,185 Well, I like to use the jigger rod 283 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,535 for when I'm catching the walleye. 284 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,812 But of course when you're doing that 285 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:40,752 you gotta run extra light. 286 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,959 Unless you're someone like you there in the back. 287 00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,735 - What are you, a bodybuilder? - No. 288 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,506 What do you bench? Wait, don't tell me. 289 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,090 I don't want you to embarrass me. 290 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,681 But I would like two tickets to your gun show. 291 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:55,230 You guys are good to go. Sorry to hold ya up. 292 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:58,604 - Let them go! - Thanks! Take it easy. 293 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,561 Typical Canadian hardass. 294 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,836 "Sorry. I'm really sorry. Sorry." 295 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,573 "Oh, so sorry." 296 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,715 Hey, fellas, any chance you can 297 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,702 come over to the house later and play some Sorry? 298 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,034 Sure. How "aboot" nine o'clock? 299 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,949 Ooh, nine o'clock doesn't work. 300 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,374 Sorry about that. 301 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,225 French ones are the worst. Ha! 302 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,246 Would you like some ratatouille 303 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,547 with your pain Du chocolat? 304 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:25,052 Oui, oui! I'm gonna get some jambon et fromage. 305 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,347 This can't be it. 306 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,114 Well, this is the address Cap sent me. 307 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,636 Although he did just learn how to text. 308 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,144 Now what would compel somebody 309 00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:36,471 to throw a tire up on the roof? 310 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:39,009 What, you never played "Throw the Tire on the Roof"? 311 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,457 No, is that the kind of shit you guys played in Rutland? 312 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,694 Sure. Never got "tired" of that game. 313 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,157 Uh, we are in the wrong place. 314 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,918 No. You're in the right place. 315 00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,184 What's the deal with the creepy, remote shithole, Cap? 316 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,811 You gonna make us put the lotion in the basket? 317 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,331 No, I've got a surprise for you. 318 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,800 I didn't tell you up front 'cause you tend to be 319 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,969 a bunch of wide-mouth bassholes. 320 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:12,428 Well, then, why don't you let me reel in these fish, John? 321 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,388 Governor Jessman? 322 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:15,842 Hey, I didn't see the motorcade. 323 00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,430 - We're keeping my visit quiet. - Mm. 324 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,787 Oh, Cappy, you dirty dog. 325 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,228 Show some respect, Mac! 326 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,315 - Sorry. - I'm here on official business. 327 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,526 We've got an intriguing situation 328 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,448 going on in these parts. 329 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,151 With all the heat on immigration these days, 330 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,735 the U.S. has been going through 331 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,116 a border reassessment. 332 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,040 It turns out that some of the original stone markers 333 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,163 that delineated America from Canada 334 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,078 weren't where we thought they'd be. 335 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,504 Here is where the border was. 336 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:47,588 But here is where we found the stone markers. 337 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,299 So this town, St. Georges Du Laurent, 338 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,131 and the area surrounding it, 339 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,219 are actually on American soil. 340 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,429 So we're going to war? 341 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,932 Ah, gee, that'd be a quick one, eh? 342 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,870 No. After negotiations, 343 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,436 they've agreed to turn the land over. 344 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:03,688 Vermont's about to get 345 00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,485 - a little more head room. - Hmm. 346 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,061 So, it was up to me to find 347 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,568 a temporary police force to help with the transition. 348 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,860 A group of officers familiar with the border area, 349 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:16,655 experienced in patrolling a stretch of highway. 350 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,700 Guys who maybe caught a bad break the last time around? 351 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,915 So, you fellas want a crack at your old jobs? 352 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:28,754 Easy, you hooligans! I'm a senior citizen! 353 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,260 And if this two-week assignment goes well, 354 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,883 I might be able to make it permanent. 355 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,973 Trust us. It'll go well. 356 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,508 And who are you? 357 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,677 Oh, I'm one of the cops. 358 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,326 We picked him up outside of Home Depot. 359 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,356 Fantastic. 360 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,312 You'll be phasing out a Canadian Mountie unit. 361 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,396 We lined up a meet and greet with them tomorrow. 362 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,196 Oh, yeah! 363 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,528 I wanted to make sure you had your full team back, 364 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,359 so I tracked down your other guy too. 365 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,652 No fucking way. 366 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,026 Oh, no. 367 00:15:57,582 --> 00:16:00,119 Sorry I'm late. Hit a moose doing 90. 368 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,120 Vaporized the beyotch! 369 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,766 You know they have Eskimo hookers up here? 370 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,582 When they have sex, they really get "lnuit." 371 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,084 Pele'! 372 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,426 God damn it. 373 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,386 Farva, you fuck. 374 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:12,919 Back in business! 375 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,954 Bullshit! Who ordered these? I can't feel my tits! 376 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:05,524 Hey! 377 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:06,973 Desk buddies, guy? 378 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,991 Are you positive you want to quit your old job? 379 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,894 I mean, Construction Supervisor. 380 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,070 And give up the chance to crack some Canuck melons? 381 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,898 I don't think so, bro-haim. 382 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,654 ♪ Welcome to the Fart Zone ♪ 383 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,467 Body armor, check. 384 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,204 Tactical flashlights. Why not? 385 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,115 Ooh, heat vision goggles. Check. 386 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,499 Why would we need those? 387 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:26,849 Uh, we're in Canada now, Rabbit. 388 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,559 What if we have to find somebody in the snow? 389 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,644 Uh, there is snow in Vermont. 390 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,256 Okay, I'm the "order stuff" guy. 391 00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:32,548 You do your thing. All right? 392 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,052 Okay. 393 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,338 One yellow safety vest for Rabbit. 394 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,806 Woo! A roving GPS triangulator. 395 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,218 Triangulator? Get a load of James Bond over here. 396 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,854 Another yellow safety vest for Thorny. 397 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,541 Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn. Thorn, Thorn. 398 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:52,147 Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod. You're out, he's in. 399 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,405 Okay. 400 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,439 Hey, place looks great! 401 00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,047 What have you been cleaning, Cap? 402 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,034 I'll clean your clock if you don't watch out. 403 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:01,569 Okay, let's get started. 404 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,121 Don't push it, Mac. 405 00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,657 Get started doing some pullovers? 406 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:06,973 No, we're not doing your pullovers. 407 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,164 Everything'll be by the book. 408 00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,171 Everything! 409 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,549 Cap, you know how hard I worked on this thing? 410 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:17,218 Big face, big mustache. 411 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,108 I don't care how big your face is. Shave it! 412 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,140 Cap, Cap, Cap! 413 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,224 I'm good, right? 414 00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,300 I got a tight mouth-muff. 415 00:18:23,394 --> 00:18:25,886 - Talk about big faces. - That's face-ism, Cap. 416 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,895 Not regulation! Shave it! 417 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,937 Right! Let's go and see some Mounties. 418 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:34,691 Remember the three B's: Best Behavior, Boys. 419 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,527 Hey. 420 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,449 - How's it going? - Feels like 1983 in here. 421 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,391 Oh, there they are. 422 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,074 I am Mayor Guy LeFranc. 423 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,168 Mayor of Saint Georges Du Laurent, Canada! 424 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,454 Or, as it's about to be known: 425 00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:55,290 St. George of Lawrence, America. 426 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,800 I don't know. I'm not so good with American. Welcome. 427 00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,094 Uh, the Guy LeFranc? 428 00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:02,061 From the Montreal Canadiens Minor League system? 429 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,633 The leading scorer of the Halifax Bear Eaters? 430 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,471 Eighth most points in CHL history. 431 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,683 Yeah, I know. Two points behind Shotti Fitznugly. 432 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:09,856 Look at this guy! 433 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:10,940 I love hockey. 434 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,598 Your nickname, um, 435 00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,332 don't tell me, it was, uh, "The Explosion." 436 00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,023 "The Halifax Explosion." 437 00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:18,154 Named after the single greatest 438 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,402 man-made explosion before Hiroshima. 439 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,283 It was 1917, 440 00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:23,909 ship laden with dynamite 441 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,078 crashed into another ship in Halifax Harbor. 442 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,784 Tremendous explosion and loss of life. 443 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,518 Burned people's eyes out with the blast. 444 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,117 Many were blinded by the light. 445 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,212 Like the song says. 446 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,963 And a First Nations tribe was lost. 447 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,479 Probably would've happened to them anyway, 448 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,149 but it kind of moved up the timetable, eh? 449 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,757 So, I am the second biggest explosion from Halifax. 450 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:42,931 But enough about me. 451 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,180 Meet the Mounties. Guys! 452 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,258 Guys, come on over here. 453 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,932 This here is Sergeant Major Roger Archambault. 454 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:53,565 This is Staff Sergeant Major Henri Podien, 455 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,021 and Sergeant Christophe Bellefuille. 456 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,230 Total gobbledygook. 457 00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,279 I'm John O'Hagan. This is Rod Farva, 458 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,316 Robbie Roto, Carl Foster, Maclntyre Womack 459 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:04,993 and Arcot Ramathorn. 460 00:20:05,349 --> 00:20:07,192 Ç'est les de bordelle.. 461 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:09,994 I'll let you guys chew the cud. 462 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:11,722 Why don't we go fuck off to the other room here? 463 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,242 Yeah, sure. 464 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:18,165 I'm gonna get a Schlitz! That's American for beer. 465 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,427 So, you do guys ride horses or... 466 00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:25,027 Yeah, this isn't 1957. 467 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,547 We drive Crown Victorias. 468 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,433 Hey, us too. You get a little soup in them, 469 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,635 they can really rip your knob off. Am I right? 470 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,938 We hear about you guy, heh? 471 00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:37,066 Because first, you get your highway station shut down. 472 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,977 And then, you get kick out 473 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,529 from your second job because of this, uh, 474 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:43,906 Fred Savage thing. 475 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,047 "Savage." 476 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,784 Makes it sound intriguing. 477 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,592 So, what are you 478 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,363 going to do here? Go for the hat trick? 479 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,716 We're actually hoping to hold on to these jobs. 480 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,411 What are you guys doing after the turnover? 481 00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:59,331 Oh, they're transferring us up to Labrador City. 482 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,425 - Oh! - Cool. 483 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,491 It's cool, all right. Average winter 484 00:21:02,506 --> 00:21:04,719 temperature is minus 18 degrees Celsius! 485 00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:07,013 All you have to do to convert 486 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:10,217 is times two, add 32 and join the rest of the human race. 487 00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:11,394 Hey, Rookie, 488 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:12,950 they got non-alcoholic Molsons over here. 489 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,221 Want me to get you a half carafe? 490 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:18,312 Oh, we got a rookie there? They shave your nuts yet? 491 00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,318 Canadian tradition says you got to shave 492 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,190 the rook's nuts, otherwise it's bad luck. 493 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:23,854 - You don't say? - Bad luck? 494 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,398 I'm actually not a rookie-- 495 00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,131 Which one of you guys has least seniority? 496 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,243 I mean, technically I-- 497 00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:30,619 Shave this guy ball! 498 00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,413 Come on, shave both of his ball. 499 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:36,163 Shave your ball, your dick. 500 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,585 Hello, hello! Welcome to Canada. 501 00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,417 I'm Genevieve Aubois, 502 00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,966 Cultural Attaché of Saint Georges Du Laurent. 503 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,376 I will see that things go smoothly 504 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,802 in the next few weeks. 505 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,054 And please, if you have any questions, 506 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,723 don't hesitate to ask. 507 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:56,638 Keep heading north, big fella. 508 00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,645 You don't look at the mantel when you're poking the fire. 509 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:02,227 Right, guys? You know what I'm saying, right? 510 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:06,110 Okay. Well, they are waiting for us in the other room. 511 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,282 So, please, suivez-moi. 512 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,243 Who is waiting where? 513 00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:24,424 Boy, I didn't know the whole town was gonna be here. 514 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,132 Welcome, thanks for coming. 515 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:36,929 America got tired of the noise up here... 516 00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,604 so they called the cops! 517 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:39,772 Oh. 518 00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,308 It's about my mustache, right? 519 00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:43,683 They're laughing at my mustache? 520 00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:46,567 Please, let's give a big Canadian welcome 521 00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:49,240 to the Vermont Highway Patrol. 522 00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,369 Hey, hey, everyone! Come on, guys. 523 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,344 They've come up here to tell us how great it's gonna be 524 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,694 for all of us to become Americans. 525 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:58,661 So, let them speak. Captain? 526 00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:01,498 Uh... 527 00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,705 Bonsoir. 528 00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:07,667 You know, this reminds me of the story of the rabbi, 529 00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:10,803 the priest, and the Hindu in a canoe. 530 00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:12,338 Go blow yourself! 531 00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,383 I'm Captain John O'Hagan. I-- 532 00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:17,677 Yeah, eat it, you old donkey! 533 00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:21,393 Hey, easy. Hey, look, look. 534 00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,349 Technically, we're all Americans, right? 535 00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,143 North Americans. 536 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,228 Very little is gonna change around here. 537 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,919 Oh, yeah, right! You're probably gonna tell us 538 00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,212 we can't listen to Rush anymore! 539 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,698 Or the Barenaked Ladies! 540 00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:34,072 Hey. Hey. Hey! 541 00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:35,369 People, people. 542 00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,371 I love Rush and the Barenaked Ladies. 543 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:38,539 You should listen to both. 544 00:23:38,709 --> 00:23:40,575 So, you are telling us who to listen to! 545 00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:41,669 No, no. I'm just-- 546 00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:42,892 And then that one's gonna tell us 547 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,287 we have to start eating tortillas! 548 00:23:44,465 --> 00:23:46,465 - It's a common mistake. - Bullshit! 549 00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,416 Hey! Listen up. 550 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:50,467 This is America now. Like it or lump it! 551 00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:52,049 Repeat after me: 552 00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:55,260 I pledge of allegiance to the flag 553 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,846 of the United States of America. 554 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,103 Learn the words! Learn the words! 555 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,273 Fuck you! 556 00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:11,712 You don't even know how to play hockey! 557 00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:16,527 I didn't think they'd see us as an occupying force. 558 00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:17,991 Oh, my God! Your eye. 559 00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:19,451 That might leave a scar. 560 00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:20,905 I was looking too pretty anyway. 561 00:24:22,002 --> 00:24:23,538 I can sew you up at my car. 562 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:24,747 You're a doctor? 563 00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:26,959 No, no. I coach the girls' hockey team, 564 00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:29,006 so I know my way around a gash. 565 00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:30,802 Are you making a-- 566 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:34,508 Oui. A double entendre for la vagine. 567 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,306 Let's go, quickly! 568 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,616 I thought Canadians are supposed to be harmless. 569 00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,432 Oh, come on. Cut them some slack. 570 00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:44,326 They're upset about losing their identities. 571 00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:47,024 They called you an old donkey. Doesn't that piss you off? 572 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:48,480 Well, I don't love it. 573 00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:50,520 Actually, I didn't sleep at all last night. 574 00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:52,321 But we got a job to do. 575 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,573 - Rabbit, how's your head? - It's okay. 576 00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:58,862 That, uh... Genevieve, she, uh, patched me up. 577 00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:02,083 Oh, please! 578 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:04,659 Frenchy had her eyes on my thighs all night long. 579 00:25:04,837 --> 00:25:05,918 - Yeah. - Did she, now? 580 00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:07,059 Oh, yeah? Keep laughing. 581 00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:09,330 I bet you a buck I bang the crêpe out of her first. 582 00:25:09,425 --> 00:25:10,540 Okay. 583 00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,690 Put your money where your mouth's been. Fuck the buck. 584 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,427 Loser sits on a cactus. 585 00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:16,678 No, loser gets a perm. 586 00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:19,887 No, loser cuts his pinky-toe off with a shovel. 587 00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:21,115 Take that bet. Take it now. 588 00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:23,225 I suggest you take the bet, Rabbit. Really, honestly. 589 00:25:23,272 --> 00:25:24,353 Please shut up, Farva. 590 00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:25,934 Okay. We have a deal. 591 00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:27,519 You heard it, right? We have a deal. 592 00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:30,185 Oh, so, this is where they keep the illegal aliens, huh? 593 00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:32,199 Ah, welcome, Officers! 594 00:25:32,281 --> 00:25:33,737 Welcome to the guys who stood around 595 00:25:33,824 --> 00:25:35,304 while people threw hockey pucks at us? 596 00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:36,547 You gonna come up here talking 597 00:25:36,577 --> 00:25:38,113 "all that “Make America Great" crap, 598 00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:40,904 you're bound to catch a face full of Canadian tomato. 599 00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:42,367 Okay, okay. Listen up. 600 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,327 Two of you are gonna ride with the Mounties. 601 00:25:44,418 --> 00:25:46,015 They'll show you where the bodies are buried. 602 00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:47,956 - Not it. - Actually, it is you two. 603 00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:51,293 It's not our idea of a good time either, fellas. 604 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,545 Personally, I'd rather fuck a moose. 605 00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:56,385 You would need a ladder to do that. 606 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:59,638 Obviously, I would need a ladder to fuck a moose. 607 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,675 But I would find one, and I would fuck that moose. 608 00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:03,770 Okay! 609 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:06,137 Thorny, Rabbit, I got a highway job for you. 610 00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:07,356 Let's do it! 611 00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:13,276 Hey, Cap? Cap? 612 00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:14,653 Whose car do I ride in? 613 00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:16,734 Why don't you stay here with me? 614 00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:18,240 Sit over here. 615 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:19,616 That's the radio, though. 616 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,201 Great idea! 617 00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:24,531 That way, if a call comes in, you can answer it. 618 00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:25,865 Huh? 619 00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:29,577 Okay, just today, though, okay? 620 00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:32,038 Everyone takes a turn. It's a new station. 621 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:35,507 Fuckin' radio. 622 00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:39,337 What the fuck is this shit? 623 00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:42,598 I mean, it's not gonna kill him, is it? 624 00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:44,679 I don't know. Do you want it to kill him? 625 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,515 Allons-y! 626 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,269 Just a minute! 627 00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:51,728 Just a, uh... 628 00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:53,734 What's Canadian for "minute"? 629 00:26:58,575 --> 00:26:59,736 Ah. 630 00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:01,238 - There they are. - Okay. 631 00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:03,906 Hm. 632 00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:12,503 Are you swallowing M&M's whole? 633 00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:15,210 Yeah. The green ones make me horny. 634 00:27:17,511 --> 00:27:19,127 Why don't you chew them first? 635 00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:21,303 They all go to the same place, right? 636 00:27:26,937 --> 00:27:28,826 Hey, Farva, can I get a radio check? 637 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:37,068 Why did you shock your buddy, buddy? 638 00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:42,533 You know, every job has that one guy that you love to hate. 639 00:27:42,703 --> 00:27:44,410 Yeah, obnoxious. Oafish. 640 00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,867 Oh, you mean like your typical American? 641 00:27:51,170 --> 00:27:52,490 Still waiting on that radio check. 642 00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:01,426 Fuckin' shit! 643 00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:03,633 This is an awesome assignment. 644 00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,219 Oh, come on, it's great. Outside. On duty. 645 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:10,098 Hey, what's 80 kilometers per hour in English? 646 00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:13,731 I guess 49.7097 miles per hour. 647 00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,687 Uh, I don't think we have any decimals. 648 00:28:15,861 --> 00:28:17,647 - Do you have a Sharpie? - Uh, no. 649 00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:20,859 Unit 23. Come in, 23. Unit 23. Come in, 23. 650 00:28:21,033 --> 00:28:23,616 Radio, until the turnover, we have to keep things metric. 651 00:28:23,785 --> 00:28:28,154 So we are now Unit 37.015. Try again. 652 00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:29,332 Whatever. 653 00:28:29,499 --> 00:28:32,787 I got a call out on Rue de Autoroute 77 654 00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,414 or some Frére Jacques bullshit. 655 00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:36,878 There's a gaggle of dead Canadian Geese on the road. 656 00:28:37,049 --> 00:28:38,960 Yeah, up here, they just call them geese, Radio. 657 00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:41,273 Well, in two weeks, I call them American Geese. 658 00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:42,668 Honk, honk. Go clean them off. 659 00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:46,673 That's a big 16.09-6436, good buddy. 660 00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:51,185 Ah, ya. there's the Pancake Shed. 661 00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,761 And that's the Flapjack's. 662 00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:54,347 Oh, there on the right, 663 00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:56,307 that's Gigi's Bait, Tackle and Pancakes. 664 00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:57,664 But they're really known more 665 00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,041 - for their waffles. - Yeah, they are. 666 00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:00,951 Sounds like the Queen must really love pancakes. 667 00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:02,938 What's that supposed to mean? 668 00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:05,255 Aren't you guys still ruled by the Queen of England? 669 00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:06,325 She's all over your money. 670 00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:10,113 I'll have you know that we achieved our independence in 1982. 671 00:29:10,207 --> 00:29:11,447 "Ooh! Oh!" 672 00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:12,906 1982. 673 00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,497 Did Wham! perform at the ceremony? 674 00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:17,503 Maybe if we had our independence sooner, 675 00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:19,519 we'd have no gun control, not believe in evolution 676 00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:22,416 and all be morbidly obese without healthcare. 677 00:29:24,137 --> 00:29:26,057 Why don't you pull in right up here? 678 00:29:26,390 --> 00:29:28,631 Time for you to meet the local business owners. 679 00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:48,567 Escorts? 680 00:29:48,704 --> 00:29:50,035 Here we are, boys. 681 00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:58,247 Are we here to bust up a cathouse? 682 00:29:58,422 --> 00:30:00,504 You can't arrest people for having boners. 683 00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:01,955 It's legal up here, Yank. 684 00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:04,296 A hockey-themed, dual-sex bordello. 685 00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:05,482 Do we have that in the U.S.? 686 00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:06,923 I don't know, but put me in, Coach. 687 00:30:07,014 --> 00:30:09,255 Oh, oh! Look who it is! It's the fuzz. 688 00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:10,965 The Mayor hangs out in a bordello? 689 00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:13,510 No, the Mayor own the bordello. 690 00:30:13,687 --> 00:30:14,722 Here you go, boys. 691 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:16,429 How about a beer and a tug? On the house. 692 00:30:16,690 --> 00:30:18,272 - Hey! - Oh, uh... 693 00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:19,393 Uh, maybe later. 694 00:30:19,568 --> 00:30:21,229 Oh, I understand. Scram, girls. 695 00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:24,611 - How's it going, eh? - Yeah, no, no. Maybe later. 696 00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:27,148 You guys! You don't like women, you don't like men. 697 00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:29,202 What should I get, a river beaver to pleasure you? 698 00:30:29,494 --> 00:30:30,494 It's a joke. 699 00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:32,217 Their teeth are so sharp, it'd be horrible. 700 00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:33,287 How can I help you fellas? 701 00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,448 Oh, the Yanks want to talk about their U.S. laws. 702 00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:37,582 You know, like serving weaker beer 703 00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,410 and shutting down brothels. 704 00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:40,953 Shutting down brothels? 705 00:30:41,131 --> 00:30:42,212 Who put you up to this? 706 00:30:42,299 --> 00:30:44,336 Was it Jean-Paul down at Chez Poontang? 707 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:45,749 Huh? You guys pulling my chain? 708 00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:46,982 I don't think this is anything 709 00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:48,442 we need to get too hung up on right now. 710 00:30:48,472 --> 00:30:49,693 I can't believe down in the States, 711 00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:51,611 it's illegal to have a beer and enjoy tits and a dick. 712 00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:54,008 I mean, beep beep! 713 00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:55,638 - There's no harm there. - Oh. Uh... 714 00:30:57,731 --> 00:30:59,597 - Good workout, eh? - Wow. 715 00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,274 Honestly, Guy, we're not here to lay down any laws. 716 00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:04,484 We're very sorry if there's been a misunderstanding. 717 00:31:04,654 --> 00:31:07,396 "We're sahrry?" "Sahrry." 718 00:31:09,076 --> 00:31:10,908 I'm sorry, but that sounds stupid. 719 00:31:12,245 --> 00:31:14,156 - So sahrry. - Sahrry. 720 00:31:14,331 --> 00:31:15,617 It's funny. I know. 721 00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:18,495 And what exactly is your beef with our beer? 722 00:31:18,585 --> 00:31:20,140 Oh, I don't have any problem with the beer. 723 00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:22,377 I think the limit in the U.S. is what, nine percent? 724 00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:24,754 Nine percent? How are you supposed to get drunk? 725 00:31:24,841 --> 00:31:27,721 I mean, you know, I think the idea is you drink more of the weaker stuff. 726 00:31:27,761 --> 00:31:28,922 I bet it is. 727 00:31:29,012 --> 00:31:30,609 You Americans drinking and eating everything. 728 00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:32,361 - Oh, no, you shouldn't. - So fat. 729 00:31:32,391 --> 00:31:34,177 How about a little help over here, huh? 730 00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:35,351 I don't think we have 731 00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:36,766 jurisdiction here anymore, buddy. 732 00:31:36,853 --> 00:31:37,853 All right. 733 00:31:37,938 --> 00:31:40,035 It's not like we're here to "screw you" out of your rights. 734 00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:41,476 Darn tootin' you're not. 735 00:31:41,650 --> 00:31:42,650 Okay, look, relax. 736 00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:43,974 Go away, you American pigs! 737 00:31:44,069 --> 00:31:46,310 Screw you, hippies! 738 00:31:46,405 --> 00:31:47,611 - Go home! - Oh! 739 00:31:47,781 --> 00:31:48,862 Take it easy. 740 00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:50,614 Fight, fight, fight, fight! 741 00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:53,684 Sorry about that. It was an accident. 742 00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:00,418 Get out of here! 743 00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,006 Get the fuck off me. 744 00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:09,250 Fuck you, motherfuckers. Fuck you! 745 00:32:13,557 --> 00:32:15,594 - Vermont sucks, eh! - Thank you. 746 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:16,882 See you later, sunshine! 747 00:32:17,269 --> 00:32:19,180 - Stupid Americans! - Cheerio! 748 00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:22,600 Okay, this job isn't as fun as I thought it was. 749 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:23,935 Arrogant American! 750 00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,062 The whole world is metric. What's your problem, eh? 751 00:32:26,236 --> 00:32:27,442 Just doing our job, sir. 752 00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:29,228 You're 185 centimeters tall, 753 00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:31,233 you weigh 92 kilogram. Get used to it! 754 00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:33,319 Okay. 755 00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:35,279 Your authority don't mean cheese up here. 756 00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:38,655 I can't tell if he's calling me skinny or fat. 757 00:32:38,748 --> 00:32:40,429 Officers requesting assistance 758 00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:41,930 at the L'Explosion Bordello on Route Four. 759 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,826 We are under assault by hookers. 760 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,331 Lots of them. Male and female. 761 00:32:45,505 --> 00:32:47,416 Copy, 91. We'll be right there. 762 00:32:47,507 --> 00:32:49,339 Just as soon as we finish taking selfies 763 00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:51,463 with the Victoria's Secret Blow Job Team. 764 00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:53,917 I'm not kidding, Thorny! There's too many of them. 765 00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:55,485 Will you get your dick out of my face! 766 00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:57,051 I just-I got glitter! 767 00:32:57,225 --> 00:32:59,057 Glittering and... Glittering and... 768 00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:00,509 I love it. It's like we never left. 769 00:33:03,231 --> 00:33:04,231 What the hell? 770 00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:05,977 Remote driver? 771 00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:07,318 Ghost car? 772 00:33:16,244 --> 00:33:17,780 We drilled that sign! 773 00:33:18,205 --> 00:33:19,205 They're kids. 774 00:33:19,956 --> 00:33:21,117 Give me those keys. 775 00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:23,290 Ow! No biting, you little shitsky! 776 00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:24,376 What's your name, kid? 777 00:33:24,461 --> 00:33:25,682 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 778 00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:26,793 Where did you get the car? 779 00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:28,419 Suck it, cop! 780 00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:33,505 Holy Christmas. 781 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,256 Oh, my God. 782 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,046 They're all hopped up on goofballs. 783 00:33:37,224 --> 00:33:39,431 You can't catch me! 784 00:33:40,227 --> 00:33:41,763 Pm gonna get my bean bag gun! 785 00:33:41,937 --> 00:33:44,201 Show me where you got these and I'll let you play with my Taser. 786 00:33:44,231 --> 00:33:45,266 Ooh! Yeah! 787 00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:49,313 We gotta be careful. 788 00:33:49,402 --> 00:33:51,985 This is the kind of image that could go viral. 789 00:33:53,114 --> 00:33:54,229 There! 790 00:33:58,370 --> 00:34:00,077 All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, boys. 791 00:34:02,332 --> 00:34:03,914 Stay! Stay. 792 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,477 What's up, Soapy? 793 00:34:25,814 --> 00:34:26,814 More pills? 794 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:30,606 Did Apple change their logo? 795 00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,234 What have we here? 796 00:34:34,364 --> 00:34:36,150 Cubans. 797 00:34:36,241 --> 00:34:37,777 Must make you feel right at home. 798 00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:38,951 Good one. 799 00:34:39,536 --> 00:34:40,742 Pills, pills, pills! 800 00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:41,912 Oh, boy. 801 00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:47,874 Viva la revolucion, baby! 802 00:34:47,961 --> 00:34:49,247 - Av, av, av! - Ugh. 803 00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:50,793 You ever hear of the Cuban Embargo? 804 00:34:50,964 --> 00:34:52,375 That embargo is yesterday's news. 805 00:34:52,549 --> 00:34:53,584 Not for me it isn't. 806 00:34:53,675 --> 00:34:56,212 That's like sucking Castro's cold, wrinkled dick. 807 00:34:58,388 --> 00:34:59,594 Cuban cigars, 808 00:34:59,681 --> 00:35:01,513 counterfeit iPhones and unmarked pills. 809 00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:02,798 We got something here. 810 00:35:02,976 --> 00:35:05,559 You boys stumbled on quite a booty closet. 811 00:35:05,645 --> 00:35:06,645 A what now? 812 00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:08,599 Booty. Contraband. 813 00:35:08,773 --> 00:35:10,514 What? They don't say "booty" anymore? 814 00:35:10,692 --> 00:35:12,433 - Not really, no. - Nah. 815 00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:14,583 Canadian counterfeit iPhones? 816 00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:16,695 We should call them eh-Phones, eh? Right? 817 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:25,578 They all have the same number? That's a rip-off. 818 00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:27,952 So, what pills do we have? 819 00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:29,126 Not sure. 820 00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,581 Five different kinds. None of them have markings. 821 00:35:31,755 --> 00:35:32,790 Send them to the lab. 822 00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:35,103 I tried! The U.S. lab said send them to the Canadian lab. 823 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,272 The Canadian lab said, "Oh, ya, hey there." 824 00:35:37,302 --> 00:35:38,652 “Send 'em over to the U.S. lab there." 825 00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:39,899 Maybe the Mounties have some pull? 826 00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:41,385 Boo! 827 00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:42,473 Fuck the Mounties! 828 00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:43,718 - Fuckin' Canada. - Fuck that. 829 00:35:43,892 --> 00:35:45,474 For all we know, this was the Mounties. 830 00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,260 Easy on the local cop conspiracies. 831 00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:49,728 We'll solve this case ourselves. 832 00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:51,309 I'll put a call out to Montpelier, 833 00:35:51,399 --> 00:35:53,891 see if they can line up a lab for us. 834 00:35:54,069 --> 00:35:56,276 Wah, wah! I don't need some nerd 835 00:35:56,363 --> 00:35:58,043 in a lab coat to tell me what this shit is. 836 00:36:01,576 --> 00:36:03,442 Sometimes even I've gotta hand it to you, 837 00:36:03,536 --> 00:36:04,742 you weird son of a bitch. 838 00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:06,449 But why is it that you chew a pill 839 00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:08,246 yet you swallow M&M's whole? 840 00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:10,248 I'm a complicated guy, Mac. 841 00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:12,083 Okay. All right. 842 00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:15,166 See you boys in the Renaissance Period. 843 00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:16,340 Huzzah! 844 00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:24,178 Can't move. 845 00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:26,390 My mouth is dry. 846 00:36:26,476 --> 00:36:27,989 What do you think, like a heavy barbiturate? 847 00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:29,054 Maybe a muscle relaxant? 848 00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:30,594 You really can't move? 849 00:36:30,772 --> 00:36:33,139 I'm numb. I'm totally numb. 850 00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:35,144 Okay. 851 00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:37,350 What are you doing? 852 00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:38,480 Oh! 853 00:36:38,571 --> 00:36:40,562 Fuck you, Mac. I need medical attention. 854 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,856 Side effects may include fatness and irritability. 855 00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:44,157 I think it's a mood enhancer. 856 00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:47,657 God damn it. 857 00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:49,993 I know I'm in a better mood. 858 00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:51,137 Do we have any more fly strips? 859 00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:52,305 I want to make him a headband. 860 00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:54,265 ♪ Three little maids from school are we ♪ 861 00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:56,127 ♪ Pert as a school-girl well should be ♪ 862 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,602 ♪ Filled to the brim with girlish glee ♪ 863 00:36:57,632 --> 00:36:58,978 ♪ Three little maids from school ♪ 864 00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:01,249 - That's gotta be speed, right? - Absolutely. 865 00:37:01,428 --> 00:37:03,795 Wow. You seem kinda wired. 866 00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:05,508 I'm just psyched to be back on the job! 867 00:37:05,598 --> 00:37:07,237 "URSULA". Yeah, okay, well, I knew you would be. 868 00:37:07,267 --> 00:37:08,598 Ooh, did I tell ya the 0th-- 869 00:37:08,685 --> 00:37:10,115 Oh, yeah, I got, I got a triangulator. 870 00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:11,727 Why would you need a triangulator? 871 00:37:11,813 --> 00:37:13,034 Why does everyone keep saying that? 872 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:14,725 To triangulate, baby! 873 00:37:14,816 --> 00:37:16,079 How come we never go dancing anymore? 874 00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:18,225 When I get home, we're gonna go fuckin' dancing. 875 00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:19,901 Okay. I can't wait. 876 00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:22,480 Rabbit, I need some lemonade. 877 00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:25,482 Rabbit. Get me some lemonade, please. 878 00:37:26,953 --> 00:37:28,785 Get me some goddamn lemonade, rookie! 879 00:37:29,372 --> 00:37:31,534 Don't you call me rookie, you fucker! 880 00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:33,870 I will fucking put my fist right through your head! 881 00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:35,499 - I'm thinkin' roids. - Absolutely. 882 00:37:35,670 --> 00:37:36,950 How about you? You feel anything? 883 00:37:37,297 --> 00:37:39,755 Wet mouth. Sweaty palms. 884 00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:44,422 Moist ear canals. And I'm just feeling emotional. 885 00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:46,260 Hm. Okay. 886 00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:52,051 I think you took a Canadian female 887 00:37:52,145 --> 00:37:55,809 sexual enhancement drug called Flova Scotia. 888 00:37:55,899 --> 00:37:58,186 "Made in Canada, but banned in the U.S." 889 00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:04,377 When the time is right, 890 00:38:04,407 --> 00:38:06,023 but you're not. 891 00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:08,650 Flova Scotia, eh? 892 00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:09,909 Side effects may include 893 00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:12,112 wet mouth, sweaty palms, damp ears, moist groin, 894 00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:15,658 varicose breasts, hair loss, queefing, and bitchiness. 895 00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:17,792 Flova Scotia, eh? 896 00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:20,078 You can say "queefing" on Canadian TV? 897 00:38:20,173 --> 00:38:21,504 Ha! What a country! 898 00:38:21,674 --> 00:38:23,210 What about you? You're awful smiley. 899 00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:24,465 I'm on acid. 900 00:38:24,636 --> 00:38:26,752 Pharmaceutical acid? ls there such a thing? 901 00:38:26,930 --> 00:38:28,921 Don't know. But I do know you have exactly 902 00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:31,131 1,509 hairs in your mustache. 903 00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:34,722 Close! 1,521. I had them counted for my birthday. 904 00:38:34,896 --> 00:38:36,512 - Really? - Yeah. 905 00:38:36,689 --> 00:38:38,145 - Really? - Yeah! 906 00:38:38,233 --> 00:38:40,440 I don't know what to believe, Thorn! 907 00:38:40,610 --> 00:38:42,317 - Okay. - Don't you do that. 908 00:38:42,487 --> 00:38:43,792 I'm really looking forward to this. 909 00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:44,822 Well? 910 00:38:45,990 --> 00:38:47,086 You guys come up with anything? 911 00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:49,528 Indeed we have some very interesting leads. 912 00:38:49,702 --> 00:38:51,033 Some of them from that computer! 913 00:38:51,204 --> 00:38:53,445 I think that we are on top of this case. 914 00:38:53,623 --> 00:38:55,223 We're gonna find out who did this 915 00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:57,658 and we're gonna stomp in their stupid fucking faces! 916 00:38:58,294 --> 00:38:59,294 Okay. 917 00:38:59,629 --> 00:39:01,586 Well, the shack's a dead end. 918 00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:03,997 It's on abandoned land owned by a defunct mining company, 919 00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:05,852 so anyone could have put the booty out there. 920 00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:08,634 Why you laughing, Guy Smiley? 921 00:39:14,894 --> 00:39:15,929 Okay. 922 00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:17,144 If we stake out the shack, 923 00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,225 maybe we can catch someone coming or going. 924 00:39:19,399 --> 00:39:20,399 Let's get back out there. 925 00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:24,563 Farva, hit the radio. 926 00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,732 You are a majestic snake 927 00:39:26,823 --> 00:39:28,985 with an impressive mustache. 928 00:39:30,326 --> 00:39:32,033 Now you must shed your skin 929 00:39:32,161 --> 00:39:34,152 to become a tiny dragon! 930 00:39:34,998 --> 00:39:37,490 Head POP! 931 00:39:39,127 --> 00:39:40,431 You hearing this? 932 00:39:40,461 --> 00:39:41,917 Come on! Hit the radio! 933 00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:43,711 Farva! Come on! 934 00:39:51,014 --> 00:39:52,675 Uh-oh. 935 00:39:52,932 --> 00:39:54,388 Woo-hoo! 936 00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:56,011 I love grass! 937 00:39:56,185 --> 00:39:57,721 I love life! 938 00:39:57,896 --> 00:39:59,352 I love music! 939 00:40:00,857 --> 00:40:02,257 Think puppies, not steroids. 940 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,482 Think puppies, not steroids. 941 00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,110 Smiling. Puppies. 942 00:40:09,908 --> 00:40:11,069 Whew! 943 00:40:15,747 --> 00:40:16,747 Bunnies! 944 00:40:17,332 --> 00:40:18,332 Bunnies! 945 00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:20,324 Hi, bunny. Hi. 946 00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:23,789 Rabbit. My name is Rabbit. Oh, so cute little thing. 947 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,166 Bub, bub, bub, bub. 948 00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:26,798 Hey- 949 00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:39,434 Just stay there! 950 00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:44,185 Feel the steroids 951 00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,516 melting away. 952 00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:48,522 Don't let the job stress you out. 953 00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:49,777 I love the job. 954 00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:52,447 Doesn't stress me out. Farva stresses me out. 955 00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:53,732 Such a shame. 956 00:40:53,826 --> 00:40:56,409 Why are the good-looking ones always so obnoxious? 957 00:40:57,413 --> 00:40:58,533 You think he's good-looking? 958 00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:01,991 "The bigger the cushion," 959 00:41:02,085 --> 00:41:03,416 "the better the pushing." 960 00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,664 - No. - No. 961 00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:08,872 I would rather have sex with a baboon. 962 00:41:10,385 --> 00:41:11,420 It's funny though, huh? 963 00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:14,256 We all have that one horrible person we work with. 964 00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:17,468 For me, it's my office manager Lonnie Laloush. 965 00:41:17,558 --> 00:41:21,017 Oh, he can be such a "deeckwad." 966 00:41:21,104 --> 00:41:23,061 What? 967 00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:24,285 It's just with your accent, 968 00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:26,101 the way you say "dickwad" is adorable. 969 00:41:26,275 --> 00:41:28,357 No, but it's true. He is a deeckwad. 970 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,362 First you steal our job 971 00:41:33,491 --> 00:41:34,491 and now you sit here 972 00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,987 gazing lovingly into the eyes of our women. 973 00:41:37,537 --> 00:41:39,027 Your women? 974 00:41:39,205 --> 00:41:40,991 Well, maybe we should take him in the back, 975 00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:42,868 give him Canadian handshake, eh? 976 00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:44,040 What's that? 977 00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:46,668 Let's just say it involve a bag of hockey puck 978 00:41:46,754 --> 00:41:48,495 and a lot of warm gravy. 979 00:41:48,589 --> 00:41:50,296 Mm. Sounds delicious. 980 00:41:50,383 --> 00:41:51,873 Make way! 981 00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:53,667 Hot soup coming through! 982 00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:56,462 Oh, Canadian standoff, huh? 983 00:41:56,556 --> 00:41:58,797 Oh, it look like Professor Stephen Hawking 984 00:41:58,891 --> 00:42:00,802 has really let himself go these days. 985 00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:06,138 When God created Canada, 986 00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:09,020 it was like the universe farted. 987 00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:11,980 Why do all the fat one always ride around 988 00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:13,357 on these little scooters? 989 00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:15,363 You ever stop and think that if you walk, 990 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:16,656 you might actually be thin? 991 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:20,120 Wow. 992 00:42:20,621 --> 00:42:23,613 These pigs are harassing the handicapped! 993 00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:26,078 Everybody look. Take a phone video! 994 00:42:26,252 --> 00:42:27,834 Hey! Leave him alone! 995 00:42:28,004 --> 00:42:29,915 Hey! This shit is far from over. 996 00:42:30,923 --> 00:42:33,085 - You want to go to TJ's Arcade? - Oui. 997 00:42:33,259 --> 00:42:34,920 I have some loonie I need to break. 998 00:42:35,011 --> 00:42:36,297 C'est bon. 999 00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:39,546 Fuckin' Frenchies. 1000 00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:44,176 What are you two doing together? Mall walking? 1001 00:42:44,353 --> 00:42:46,936 We ran into each other at the pet store. 1002 00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:50,064 Rabbit. You shopping for a new gerbil? 1003 00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,686 Hey, Gwenevieve, how about the two of us 1004 00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:56,237 go over to the Saskatchuan Palace 1005 00:42:56,407 --> 00:42:58,148 and get a Wang dang doodle? 1006 00:42:58,493 --> 00:42:59,528 Heu, non. 1007 00:42:59,619 --> 00:43:02,111 Ooh, woof woof. Put a little bark on that, and I'll bite. 1008 00:43:02,205 --> 00:43:05,163 Okay, I'm going to 90- 1009 00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:08,491 It was great seeing you. 1010 00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:10,376 Don't leave on my account. 1011 00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:13,038 Uh-huh! Cocky, huh? 1012 00:43:14,217 --> 00:43:15,252 How about we up the bet? 1013 00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:16,632 There is no bet, Farva. 1014 00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:18,168 Okay, new bet then. 1015 00:43:18,346 --> 00:43:21,259 Loser not only cuts off his pinky toe with a shovel, 1016 00:43:21,432 --> 00:43:22,763 he puts it in a blender 1017 00:43:22,850 --> 00:43:25,308 and drinks it in a smoothie, toenail and all. 1018 00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:26,394 Come on. 1019 00:43:26,813 --> 00:43:28,804 - Shake it, don't mistake it. - You're serious? 1020 00:43:28,898 --> 00:43:30,514 Serious as a heart attack. 1021 00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:33,145 And I should know. I've had two. 1022 00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:37,274 - Wow. - Pinky toe smoothie! 1023 00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:46,412 Somebody clean this up. 1024 00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:56,498 Son of a bitch. 1025 00:43:56,717 --> 00:43:57,717 Hey! 1026 00:43:57,802 --> 00:43:59,668 Heat goggles have arrived! 1027 00:44:00,888 --> 00:44:02,174 Looking hot, Mac. 1028 00:44:03,099 --> 00:44:05,136 Hey, nickel plated cuffs! 1029 00:44:05,434 --> 00:44:08,472 Oh, shit. These things are defective. 1030 00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:09,681 What's wrong with them? 1031 00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:10,937 They don't seem to lock. 1032 00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:12,563 Here. Let me see. 1033 00:44:12,733 --> 00:44:14,269 Here you go, Rabbit, give me that hand. 1034 00:44:17,697 --> 00:44:19,877 - I got mine to work. - Maybe it's this one. 1035 00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:21,546 - Okay. - Oh yeah. That works. Okay, good. 1036 00:44:21,576 --> 00:44:22,486 Try the ankle ones. 1037 00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:24,340 Oh, you always gotta check the ankle ones. 1038 00:44:24,370 --> 00:44:26,425 - That's the most important. - And here we go. 1039 00:44:26,455 --> 00:44:27,945 You son-a-bitches. 1040 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:29,160 You're not shaving my balls! 1041 00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,370 It'd be an insult to our Canadian hosts if we didn't. 1042 00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:33,015 I'm not a rookie anymore. Get these off me. 1043 00:44:33,045 --> 00:44:34,684 Do you not want to be an ambassador of goodwill? 1044 00:44:34,714 --> 00:44:36,330 No. I don't. Get these off me. 1045 00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:38,623 Rabbit, it's not like we want to shave your balls. 1046 00:44:38,718 --> 00:44:40,217 Thorny, do you want to shave his balls? 1047 00:44:40,232 --> 00:44:40,773 Me? Hell no. 1048 00:44:40,803 --> 00:44:41,884 - Foster? - No way. 1049 00:44:41,971 --> 00:44:43,568 You don't wanna shave his balls, do you, Farva? 1050 00:44:43,598 --> 00:44:44,598 Hell yeah, I do! 1051 00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:45,722 I even went out and bought 1052 00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:47,196 one of those old-timey straight razors. 1053 00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:49,263 - No. No. - Check this out. 1054 00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:52,105 Jesus! 1055 00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:53,897 Goddamn Canadian wiring! 1056 00:44:53,983 --> 00:44:55,769 It's wrecking my freakin' sperm count! 1057 00:44:57,904 --> 00:45:00,271 Are you still taking the Flova Scotia? 1058 00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:01,904 What part of "side effects include" 1059 00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:03,838 "queefing and bitchiness" did you not understand? 1060 00:45:03,868 --> 00:45:06,405 Dude, the orgasms are like a moonshot. 1061 00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:08,009 You can't keep taking female hormones. 1062 00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:09,074 It's gonna mess you up. 1063 00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:10,283 Jealous much? 1064 00:45:10,458 --> 00:45:11,823 Now who are you orgasming with? 1065 00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:14,038 Her name is Quebecois Debbie. 1066 00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:17,170 Oh, Thorny, your cock, she is so wide. 1067 00:45:17,256 --> 00:45:19,497 I'd fuck her. 1068 00:45:20,885 --> 00:45:22,717 - Okay, let's shave this sack. - Don't. 1069 00:45:35,691 --> 00:45:36,691 Ready? 1070 00:45:36,776 --> 00:45:38,312 Seriously, cut the crap, guys. 1071 00:45:43,699 --> 00:45:45,736 Ahem! 1072 00:45:45,826 --> 00:45:47,316 There's a bear in the station. 1073 00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:50,028 Is that a euphemism for something? 1074 00:45:50,206 --> 00:45:52,994 It's a euphemism for there's a goddamn bear 1075 00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:56,501 eating slabs of raw meat in the goddamn station! 1076 00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:02,749 - Yeah. Bear. - Okay. 1077 00:46:02,843 --> 00:46:03,843 Where are the guns? 1078 00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:05,384 In the room with the bear. 1079 00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:06,885 Tear gas grenades? 1080 00:46:07,056 --> 00:46:08,736 - I just got a new delivery! - Where is it? 1081 00:46:08,849 --> 00:46:11,261 In the room with the guns and the bear. 1082 00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:13,267 What if we send Rabbit out to fuck the bear 1083 00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:14,659 as a means of distracting said bear? 1084 00:46:14,689 --> 00:46:16,179 - Yes. - God damn it, 1085 00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:17,794 we've got to get the meat out of there! 1086 00:46:19,277 --> 00:46:20,438 Fine, fuck it. I'll do it. 1087 00:46:20,861 --> 00:46:22,351 - I'll go with you. - Really? 1088 00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:24,010 Yeah. What's the worst that could happen? 1089 00:46:24,025 --> 00:46:25,044 You get mauled by the bear. 1090 00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:26,485 Or that bear could get mauled by me. 1091 00:46:26,575 --> 00:46:28,297 - You ever think about that? - No, I didn't. 1092 00:46:28,327 --> 00:46:29,327 Okay, here's the plan: 1093 00:46:29,412 --> 00:46:31,550 I'll go out there and distract the bear, while you get the meat 1094 00:46:31,580 --> 00:46:33,144 and get it the hell out of the station. 1095 00:46:33,159 --> 00:46:33,761 Team Ram-Rod! 1096 00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:35,156 Please don't start with that shit. 1097 00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:41,996 Good luck, fellas. 1098 00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:45,792 Okay. You stay here. 1099 00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,597 Big boy. Hey, big boy! 1100 00:46:54,603 --> 00:46:55,889 - Oh, boy. - Oh, no. 1101 00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:58,475 Come here, Ditka. Come here. Come here, boy! 1102 00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:00,066 Go, go, 90- 1103 00:47:00,860 --> 00:47:02,066 Come on! 1104 00:47:02,778 --> 00:47:04,143 Come on! Come on! 1105 00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:05,483 Come, come! 1106 00:47:05,573 --> 00:47:06,573 Okay. 1107 00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:08,113 Okay, okay. 1108 00:47:08,284 --> 00:47:09,284 Fuck you, bear. 1109 00:47:09,368 --> 00:47:11,325 Shit. 1110 00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:15,498 Shit. 1111 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:25,915 Go, go, go, go! 1112 00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:33,927 ♪ Big bear... ♪ 1113 00:47:35,269 --> 00:47:36,475 ♪ Got a chest like a rug... ♪ 1114 00:47:36,562 --> 00:47:37,768 Oh, shit. 1115 00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:40,563 ♪ He don't take no guff, he's big bear... ♪ 1116 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:43,308 Hey. Hey. Get out of there. Stop. 1117 00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:45,936 - Should I shoot him? - Who? Farva? 1118 00:47:46,030 --> 00:47:47,030 Ooh, good idea. 1119 00:47:47,198 --> 00:47:48,688 No, no! No, no, no. 1120 00:47:52,119 --> 00:47:53,609 Go away! 1121 00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:57,371 Oh! 1122 00:47:57,458 --> 00:47:58,368 ♪ Big bear ♪ 1123 00:47:58,459 --> 00:48:00,291 Get away, bear. 1124 00:48:00,378 --> 00:48:02,665 ♪ C'mon, give the bear a hug! ♪ 1125 00:48:03,339 --> 00:48:05,376 Go! Go! Go! 1126 00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:07,047 Get out of here. Fuck. 1127 00:48:11,764 --> 00:48:13,801 Holy shit, I "bear-ly" made it. 1128 00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:17,596 That could've been "grizzly." 1129 00:48:17,686 --> 00:48:19,222 Yeah. 1130 00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:21,138 I think someone took a "growler" in here. 1131 00:48:21,315 --> 00:48:22,646 Shoot him. 1132 00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:25,441 Fuckin' Mounties! 1133 00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:26,976 Son of a bitch! 1134 00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:29,608 Those guys have been assholes since the moment we arrived 1135 00:48:29,698 --> 00:48:31,109 and now they are trying to kill us. 1136 00:48:31,283 --> 00:48:33,043 This goes a lot farther than just being angry 1137 00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:34,112 about losing their jobs. 1138 00:48:34,203 --> 00:48:36,114 Cap, we've been pelted by hockey pucks, 1139 00:48:36,205 --> 00:48:37,787 had dicks tugged in front of our faces 1140 00:48:37,957 --> 00:48:40,289 and gotten our asses kicked by prostitutes of both sexes. 1141 00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:42,575 I think it's time we had our own fun. Who's with me? 1142 00:48:42,753 --> 00:48:43,953 Yeah! Let's go! 1143 00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:47,126 - Dude, you fuckin' stink. - Sorry. 1144 00:48:48,551 --> 00:48:51,760 Guys! Guys! Anyone? 1145 00:48:52,638 --> 00:48:54,595 The shaving cream is starting to burn. 1146 00:48:54,682 --> 00:48:56,047 Did you use menthol? 1147 00:48:56,225 --> 00:48:58,512 Hair loss, queefing and bitchiness. 1148 00:48:58,686 --> 00:49:00,597 Flova Scotia, eh? 1149 00:49:01,605 --> 00:49:04,472 Fuckin' rights. It's the same guy, bud. 1150 00:49:04,650 --> 00:49:07,108 No, no, no. It's a different guy, that guy, eh. 1151 00:49:07,278 --> 00:49:09,235 No! That's Danny DeVito! 1152 00:49:09,405 --> 00:49:11,942 Danny DeVito is the actor from Taxi, 1153 00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:13,322 but that guy I like, 1154 00:49:13,409 --> 00:49:16,117 he come out on Always Sunny in Philadelphias. 1155 00:49:16,203 --> 00:49:17,243 Bud, they're the same guy. 1156 00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:19,449 How many 145-centimeter actors do you think there are? 1157 00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:20,947 They're both Danny DeVito! 1158 00:49:22,126 --> 00:49:24,584 No, Danny DeVito Taxi long time ago. 1159 00:49:24,753 --> 00:49:27,495 But this producer from Always Sunnys, 1160 00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:29,251 they like him so much, 1161 00:49:29,425 --> 00:49:31,757 they put him it into the show, eh. 1162 00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:34,089 That doesn't mean they can't be the same guy, bud. 1163 00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:35,703 That's one guy. It's a different era. 1164 00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,467 He can do two shows in fucking 30 years. 1165 00:49:37,641 --> 00:49:39,507 How many times do we have to go over this? 1166 00:49:39,602 --> 00:49:41,388 It's the same fucking guy! 1167 00:49:43,772 --> 00:49:46,560 He is right, you know. It is the same guy. 1168 00:49:46,734 --> 00:49:48,896 Danny DeVito was in Taxis, 1169 00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:51,648 but he is also in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's. 1170 00:49:52,490 --> 00:49:54,231 I know. I make joke on him. 1171 00:49:54,325 --> 00:49:57,033 He think I don't know, but I know, eh. 1172 00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,822 You know who is my favorite, uh, superhero villain? 1173 00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,207 Is the Penguin from Batman film, eh. 1174 00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:07,459 That's fuckin' Danny DeVito, bud. 1175 00:50:07,630 --> 00:50:08,916 Get a fucking clue! 1176 00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:10,542 That's Danny DeVito you just said! 1177 00:50:10,674 --> 00:50:12,229 Can you believe this fuckin' guy doesn't know 1178 00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:13,259 who Danny DeVito is? 1179 00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:14,344 Who you mean? The singer? 1180 00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:17,261 No, the fuckin' actor! Danny DeVito. 1181 00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:19,214 The guy who's married to Rhea Perlman! 1182 00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:21,007 Oh, I like him in Hellboy. 1183 00:50:21,185 --> 00:50:22,550 That's Ron Perlman! 1184 00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:25,686 Doesn't matter. Archambault! Hockey is back on! 1185 00:50:25,773 --> 00:50:27,119 What the fuck is wrong with you guys? 1186 00:50:27,149 --> 00:50:28,871 Both of you. You're fuckin' from another planet. 1187 00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:30,621 I can't believe we live in the same country. 1188 00:50:30,653 --> 00:50:32,082 Oh, the fucking phone 1189 00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:33,501 is ringing during hockey night in Canada! 1190 00:50:33,531 --> 00:50:35,397 Who is calling during hockey night in Canada? 1191 00:50:35,574 --> 00:50:37,611 Who the fuck even has a hard line anymore? 1192 00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:40,072 Archambault, rip the fuckin' phone out of the wall! 1193 00:50:40,246 --> 00:50:41,550 What's next? You're gonna have someone 1194 00:50:41,580 --> 00:50:43,300 deliver a pizza during the fuckin' overtime? 1195 00:50:46,126 --> 00:50:47,582 What the fuck? 1196 00:50:54,677 --> 00:50:56,509 You know, the other guy I like, 1197 00:50:56,679 --> 00:50:58,386 is the one giving Billy Crystal 1198 00:50:58,472 --> 00:51:00,713 the problem in Throw Momma and the Trains. 1199 00:51:03,561 --> 00:51:05,393 Holy merde. 1200 00:51:20,452 --> 00:51:21,452 Get him! 1201 00:51:33,882 --> 00:51:35,122 Great fight, guys! 1202 00:51:35,217 --> 00:51:38,005 Pennyworth ADH4 Sure Shot Cattle Prod. 1203 00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:39,256 Every station needs one. 1204 00:51:41,348 --> 00:51:43,089 I can't breathe. 1205 00:52:00,159 --> 00:52:02,867 We know it's you guys. We can see your mustaches. 1206 00:52:03,537 --> 00:52:04,743 You can't leave us out here. 1207 00:52:04,830 --> 00:52:07,538 We are at least 100 kilomètres in the woods! 1208 00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:08,948 Maybe more, huh? 1209 00:52:15,674 --> 00:52:18,166 Ah, tabernacle. Here come the mosquito. 1210 00:52:23,432 --> 00:52:24,593 We got 24 hours 1211 00:52:24,683 --> 00:52:26,765 to desecrate the good name of these dickfucks. 1212 00:52:26,935 --> 00:52:28,926 Let's do it! 1213 00:52:34,068 --> 00:52:35,854 Let's do it. 1214 00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:41,864 License and registration, eh! 1215 00:52:43,077 --> 00:52:44,506 - Here you go. - Captain. 1216 00:52:44,536 --> 00:52:45,901 - Come in, Captain. - Officer. 1217 00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:47,236 Captain, come in. 1218 00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:48,371 Officer, here you go. 1219 00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:50,164 Are you hearing anything, Captain? 1220 00:52:50,195 --> 00:52:52,673 Man, you think maybe your buddy is getting a little old for this? 1221 00:52:52,703 --> 00:52:54,223 I mean, a deaf cop? 1222 00:52:54,254 --> 00:52:55,744 Who said that, eh? 1223 00:52:56,131 --> 00:52:59,089 Ooh. You, sir, have the nose of a king. 1224 00:52:59,551 --> 00:53:02,009 Hold tight, I'm gonna get my ticket book. 1225 00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:05,296 Ya! Hey there. 1226 00:53:05,474 --> 00:53:07,034 - License and registration. - All right. 1227 00:53:07,074 --> 00:53:09,198 Let's go! License and registration, eh! 1228 00:53:10,004 --> 00:53:14,059 What's so funny, Mr. Matt Tomon? 1229 00:53:14,149 --> 00:53:15,149 You think it's funny that 1230 00:53:15,234 --> 00:53:16,690 I lost my balls in a tractor pull? 1231 00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:18,521 Wait, you both got your nuts ripped off 1232 00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:19,612 in a tractor pull? 1233 00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:21,396 I lost mine in the spokes of my bicycle. 1234 00:53:21,573 --> 00:53:23,280 You know how fast that will stop a bicycle? 1235 00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:27,068 Hey, Officer! 1236 00:53:27,287 --> 00:53:29,619 - Hey, you're on my wagon. - What? 1237 00:53:29,790 --> 00:53:32,532 Come on! Wake up! Wake up! 1238 00:53:33,001 --> 00:53:34,537 License and registration, eh? 1239 00:53:36,255 --> 00:53:38,246 'Scuse me one second, eh. 1240 00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:39,584 You bitch! 1241 00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:41,757 - Get back here, you! - Ow! Ow! 1242 00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:45,840 - Hey, there. - Hi. 1243 00:53:46,014 --> 00:53:47,630 License and registration. 1244 00:53:47,725 --> 00:53:51,218 Hey, aren't you the two that pulled me over before? 1245 00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:52,601 Beg your pardon? 1246 00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:56,230 How are you Mounties now? Or should I say Meow-nties? 1247 00:53:56,316 --> 00:53:57,806 Say what now? 1248 00:53:58,610 --> 00:54:00,066 Few years ago, you pulled me over 1249 00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:02,111 and you played some game where you said "meow." 1250 00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:03,942 Buddy, I've said a thousand stupid things 1251 00:54:04,032 --> 00:54:05,113 to people over the years. 1252 00:54:05,284 --> 00:54:07,025 You asked if I saw you jumping around 1253 00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:09,577 all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? 1254 00:54:09,747 --> 00:54:11,863 I can assure you I've never said the words 1255 00:54:11,957 --> 00:54:14,119 "“nimbly-bimbly" in my life. 1256 00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:15,783 - You fucker! - Oh, you bitch! 1257 00:54:17,337 --> 00:54:19,374 Where's the gosh darn cruiser? 1258 00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:22,419 Dude, your partner is about to get mucked! 1259 00:54:22,593 --> 00:54:24,459 Where you going, mister? Freeze! 1260 00:54:27,181 --> 00:54:28,216 Ow. Ow! 1261 00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:36,272 Bro! 1262 00:54:37,232 --> 00:54:39,121 Hang on. Do you really not remember this guy 1263 00:54:39,151 --> 00:54:40,205 or you just fuckin' with him? 1264 00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:41,457 Yeah, I have no idea who he is. 1265 00:54:41,487 --> 00:54:42,833 You know I heard everything you said. 1266 00:54:42,863 --> 00:54:44,626 Son of a bitch. We've been doing that for years. 1267 00:54:44,656 --> 00:54:46,647 Forget it. Am I getting a ticket here, or what? 1268 00:54:46,742 --> 00:54:49,298 I want to get my head around this, 'cause now it's driving me crazy. 1269 00:54:49,328 --> 00:54:51,615 Let's do this. We'll switch. You'll be me, I'll be you 1270 00:54:51,705 --> 00:54:52,926 and then you'll do the routine. 1271 00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:53,991 What? All right. 1272 00:54:54,082 --> 00:54:55,482 Ah, you'll kill it, you'll kill it. 1273 00:54:57,377 --> 00:55:00,711 License and registration meow. Come on, meow. 1274 00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:03,248 Hey! Now I remember it! 1275 00:55:03,342 --> 00:55:05,299 - I remember it now. - You remember that. 1276 00:55:05,469 --> 00:55:07,566 In the meanwhile, never give your car keys to a stranger. 1277 00:55:07,596 --> 00:55:08,631 Why is that? 1278 00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:10,053 See you, sucker! 1279 00:55:10,682 --> 00:55:12,522 I knew it was you the whole time, asshole! 1280 00:55:13,977 --> 00:55:16,325 What the hell is going on here? Huh? 1281 00:55:16,355 --> 00:55:18,365 Looks like someone is smoking the reefer joints. 1282 00:55:18,396 --> 00:55:19,813 No, that's not marijuana. 1283 00:55:19,844 --> 00:55:20,953 We'll see about that. 1284 00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:22,998 Farva, that's not a good idea! 1285 00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:26,030 What's the-- 1286 00:55:28,659 --> 00:55:29,740 Okay, this is happening. 1287 00:55:33,622 --> 00:55:36,364 Do you know how fast you were going? 1288 00:55:36,750 --> 00:55:37,831 Sorry. 1289 00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:39,742 Do you know how fast you were going? 1290 00:55:40,379 --> 00:55:42,495 We're from America. We don't speak French. 1291 00:55:42,589 --> 00:55:43,624 Oh. 1292 00:55:49,263 --> 00:55:50,674 Do neither of you speak English? 1293 00:55:50,848 --> 00:55:52,338 - I do. - Oh. 1294 00:55:52,432 --> 00:55:54,139 Em... 1295 00:55:54,226 --> 00:55:55,557 Your papers. 1296 00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:59,687 We would like to eat your papers. 1297 00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:02,815 Can you show me your party papers? 1298 00:56:02,901 --> 00:56:05,541 - You want to see our party papers? - You want... the party papers? 1299 00:56:27,759 --> 00:56:28,794 Eau de toilette! 1300 00:56:30,095 --> 00:56:31,756 Officers? I'm sorry. 1301 00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:33,047 You're-- you're obviously in-- 1302 00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:34,467 No, no, no, no, no. 1303 00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:37,391 I must apologize, uh, for me and my partner. 1304 00:56:37,686 --> 00:56:39,017 We should not fight. 1305 00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:40,973 To argue is no way to go through the life. 1306 00:56:41,064 --> 00:56:42,064 I know. 1307 00:56:42,190 --> 00:56:44,101 - Do you know the key to life? - What's that? 1308 00:56:44,276 --> 00:56:46,392 The key to life is a... 1309 00:56:47,195 --> 00:56:49,436 a penis in your asshole. 1310 00:56:49,907 --> 00:56:52,069 I beg your pardon, sir! 1311 00:56:52,242 --> 00:56:54,358 I think you must be saying that wrong! 1312 00:56:54,536 --> 00:56:58,951 No, no, no. The key to life is a penis in your asshole. 1313 00:56:59,124 --> 00:57:01,456 I don't think you're saying what you mean to say. 1314 00:57:01,543 --> 00:57:02,704 Oh, oui! Oui! Oui! 1315 00:57:02,794 --> 00:57:04,000 A penis. A penis. 1316 00:57:04,087 --> 00:57:06,920 You know, eh, eh, to smile. To be happy. 1317 00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:08,372 Oh! 1318 00:57:08,967 --> 00:57:10,708 "Happiness!" 1319 00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:12,467 Honey! It's... 1320 00:57:12,638 --> 00:57:13,638 Okay. 1321 00:57:13,931 --> 00:57:15,467 In your asshole. 1322 00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:17,308 That's... 1323 00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:19,675 Your asshole. Eh, where you live. 1324 00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:22,182 Your apartment, your domicile. 1325 00:57:22,356 --> 00:57:23,687 Your house. 1326 00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:25,143 - "Household!" - Ah! 1327 00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:28,480 "The key to life is happiness in your household!" 1328 00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:31,146 The key to life is "a penis in your asshole"! 1329 00:57:31,323 --> 00:57:32,939 - Oh! - I'm trying to tell her that. 1330 00:57:37,537 --> 00:57:39,073 What you think I say? 1331 00:57:39,247 --> 00:57:40,552 Oh, I don't even want to tell you. 1332 00:57:40,582 --> 00:57:42,289 Maybe they'll get a kick out of it. 1333 00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:44,291 We thought that you said, 1334 00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:49,046 that the key to life is a penis in your asshole. 1335 00:57:49,132 --> 00:57:50,372 Sacrebleu, non! 1336 00:57:51,343 --> 00:57:53,505 You Americans think everyone want to fuck you! 1337 00:57:53,595 --> 00:57:55,461 No one want to fuck you! 1338 00:57:55,555 --> 00:57:56,636 Merde! 1339 00:57:57,057 --> 00:57:58,968 Here is your party papers! 1340 00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:01,804 I thought Canadians were nice. 1341 00:58:02,354 --> 00:58:04,436 Whoa! Whoa! Wait for me. Okay. 1342 00:58:05,732 --> 00:58:06,912 I was thinking we could do like 1343 00:58:06,942 --> 00:58:08,103 a "Who's on First?" pullover. 1344 00:58:08,276 --> 00:58:10,768 "Rabbit and Fostello." You know, old-time comedy. 1345 00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:11,862 - Love it. - Ooh! 1346 00:58:14,950 --> 00:58:16,964 - How did they get back so quick? - Shit! Shit, shit, shit! 1347 00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:18,155 - Shit! - Go, 90. 90, go! 1348 00:58:26,753 --> 00:58:28,369 There these son-of-a-bitch guys, eh! 1349 00:58:28,463 --> 00:58:30,045 Stomp you a new mudhole! 1350 00:58:30,132 --> 00:58:31,213 Whoa, whoa! 1351 00:58:31,299 --> 00:58:32,915 What the hell happened to you guys? 1352 00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:34,754 They dump us in the woods! 1353 00:58:34,928 --> 00:58:36,544 Why would we do that? We're the police. 1354 00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:38,235 Too bad for you my dad dropped me in the woods 1355 00:58:38,265 --> 00:58:40,131 - naked every summer! - Hah? 1356 00:58:40,225 --> 00:58:41,556 Oh, sounds too bad for you. 1357 00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:43,434 Come on. You know you do this. Look at us. 1358 00:58:43,603 --> 00:58:45,890 We are paint all red, white and blue. 1359 00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:47,619 Aren't those the colors of the French flag? 1360 00:58:47,649 --> 00:58:49,409 Oh, the color the French flag. 1361 00:58:49,443 --> 00:58:50,956 Perhaps the guys who did this were British. 1362 00:58:50,986 --> 00:58:52,226 Could've been Costa Rican. 1363 00:58:52,404 --> 00:58:54,236 Who wants breakfast burritos? 1364 00:58:56,408 --> 00:58:57,504 Take that off or I'll kill you. 1365 00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:58,894 Let's settle this the Canadian way! 1366 00:58:58,952 --> 00:58:59,952 You're in America now! 1367 00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:04,830 Hey! What's going on here? 1368 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,287 Great Tim Horton's ghost! 1369 00:59:07,461 --> 00:59:09,202 First, I get a call that the Mounties 1370 00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:11,037 are out farting sideways on the highways. 1371 00:59:11,214 --> 00:59:12,670 Then I get a call to come down here. 1372 00:59:12,758 --> 00:59:13,958 Oh, it Wasn't us! 1373 00:59:14,009 --> 00:59:15,920 These fucking guys, they kidnap us 1374 00:59:16,011 --> 00:59:17,491 and they leave us in the woods to die. 1375 00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:20,467 Yeah, then they steal all three of our uniform, eh. 1376 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,195 These guys put a bear in our station! 1377 00:59:22,225 --> 00:59:23,225 A real bear. Big bear! 1378 00:59:23,351 --> 00:59:25,308 You don't have any proof of that. 1379 00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:26,729 A real bear? 1380 00:59:26,897 --> 00:59:29,559 Maybe. And maybe they deserve a bear! 1381 00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:31,121 Nobody deserves a bear! 1382 00:59:31,151 --> 00:59:32,482 I give a bear to you! 1383 00:59:32,652 --> 00:59:34,484 We could have been eaten! 1384 00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:37,984 Why you laughing, Guy? 1385 00:59:39,201 --> 00:59:42,034 Fellas, you are thinking about this all wrong, eh? 1386 00:59:42,913 --> 00:59:45,996 These guys? They impersonated officers. 1387 00:59:47,375 --> 00:59:49,867 There is no way they're holding onto their jobs. 1388 00:59:50,045 --> 00:59:51,160 And I'll do you one better. 1389 00:59:52,506 --> 00:59:55,373 When I get done talking to my good friend Justin Trudeau... 1390 00:59:55,550 --> 00:59:56,881 Eh, the Prime Minister! 1391 00:59:57,052 --> 00:59:58,634 ...I bet you this whole turnover thing 1392 00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:00,506 - goes right out the window. - Boom! 1393 01:00:00,597 --> 01:00:03,555 So, boys, unpack your bags, revive those cable bundles, 1394 01:00:03,725 --> 01:00:05,432 'cause you are not going anywhere. 1395 01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:07,532 I say we celebrate. What are we having for breakfast? 1396 01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:09,599 - Pancake. - Pancake, yeah? 1397 01:00:09,773 --> 01:00:11,309 All right. Oatmeal and raisins it is. 1398 01:00:11,399 --> 01:00:13,310 - Oh. - Kidding. It's pancakes. 1399 01:00:13,485 --> 01:00:16,193 Eh, pancake! Maybe two eggs side by each, eh? 1400 01:00:16,363 --> 01:00:17,603 I don't want this oatmeal. 1401 01:00:17,697 --> 01:00:19,608 Put the raisins inside the pancake. 1402 01:00:20,742 --> 01:00:22,198 Genevieve, wait. 1403 01:00:22,369 --> 01:00:23,985 You brought this on yourselves. 1404 01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:25,785 They put a bear... 1405 01:00:27,833 --> 01:00:29,574 This is bad, fellas. 1406 01:00:30,418 --> 01:00:32,659 This is "Fred Savage Ride-Along lncident" bad. 1407 01:00:33,213 --> 01:00:34,703 Tell that to Fred Savage. 1408 01:00:34,881 --> 01:00:37,168 Well, no sense in having good breakfast go to waste. 1409 01:00:37,342 --> 01:00:38,605 - I've lost my appetite. - Sorry, man, 1410 01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,190 - I'm just not hungry. - Do you know-- I mean-- 1411 01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:42,211 You try to do something nice for people, 1412 01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:44,546 and then it just-- I just-- you know. 1413 01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:46,932 What's the point? 1414 01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:51,308 Stop taking female hormones! 1415 01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:53,890 ♪ Making money, making dollars, making money... ♪ 1416 01:00:53,984 --> 01:00:55,349 Can we please come in, Cap? 1417 01:00:55,443 --> 01:00:56,899 He's taking years off my life. 1418 01:00:57,516 --> 01:00:59,103 Just the bad years. 1419 01:00:59,281 --> 01:01:01,321 I'm serious, Cap. I'm about to snap like a dry twig. 1420 01:01:01,408 --> 01:01:04,008 Things are still pretty dicey here. Best keep Farva away. 1421 01:01:04,119 --> 01:01:06,235 We'll let you know when the coast is clear. 1422 01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,448 Have you heard the new Kanye? 1423 01:01:11,710 --> 01:01:14,247 He's not just about big butts! He's a really good singer. 1424 01:01:15,797 --> 01:01:18,539 This is great. It's like being on the road again. 1425 01:01:19,301 --> 01:01:21,087 I like to chew mint gum when I'm on the road. 1426 01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:23,006 When I'm radio, it's fruit. 1427 01:01:23,180 --> 01:01:26,093 You know, like Juicy Fruit, Bubblicious, Hubba Bubba. 1428 01:01:26,266 --> 01:01:27,347 Anything fruity. 1429 01:01:27,976 --> 01:01:29,156 On the road, I like mint, though. 1430 01:01:29,186 --> 01:01:31,266 Mint, mint, mint, mint, mint, mint, mint, mint, mint. 1431 01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:33,474 And Beech-Nut, have you tried that? 1432 01:01:33,565 --> 01:01:35,203 "They should call it "Beech-Not!" 1433 01:01:35,233 --> 01:01:37,019 Oh, shit, I'm gonna write that down. 1434 01:01:37,777 --> 01:01:38,937 What kind of gum do you chew? 1435 01:01:39,654 --> 01:01:40,985 They should make a black mint gum. 1436 01:01:41,823 --> 01:01:42,858 That would be choice. 1437 01:01:43,033 --> 01:01:44,899 They could call it "Minty Black." 1438 01:01:45,285 --> 01:01:46,685 Yeah, I'm gonna write that down too. 1439 01:01:46,745 --> 01:01:48,406 - No one would buy that. - What? 1440 01:01:48,580 --> 01:01:49,911 No one would buy that stupid gum. 1441 01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:55,746 Bullshit. 1442 01:01:55,837 --> 01:01:57,748 They'd buy it if it was on Friends. 1443 01:01:57,839 --> 01:01:59,102 Like if Ross or Rachel chewed it, 1444 01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:00,213 it'd sell like hotcakes. 1445 01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:01,943 Are you a mutant? You follow me out here 1446 01:02:02,010 --> 01:02:03,565 while I'm pissing just to tell me this shit? 1447 01:02:03,595 --> 01:02:04,595 Quit looking at my dick. 1448 01:02:04,679 --> 01:02:06,443 I'm not looking at you dick. We're taking a piss. 1449 01:02:06,473 --> 01:02:08,009 - So, piss. - I don't have to go. 1450 01:02:10,685 --> 01:02:12,596 I'll fuck that Canadian right in his back bacon! 1451 01:02:12,687 --> 01:02:13,687 Rod! 1452 01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:19,145 - Yeah! - Farva! 1453 01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:21,227 Farva! 1454 01:02:22,364 --> 01:02:23,364 Farva! 1455 01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:29,158 Dumb fuck. 1456 01:02:34,376 --> 01:02:35,656 Unbelievable. 1457 01:02:36,378 --> 01:02:38,415 Who pops an airbag? 1458 01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:39,505 God. You weigh-- 1459 01:02:39,673 --> 01:02:40,673 Fuck. 1460 01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:45,889 You gotta be shitting me. Don't die on me, Farva. 1461 01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:49,134 Okay. You can do it. 1462 01:03:05,282 --> 01:03:06,317 Oh! Fuck! 1463 01:03:06,908 --> 01:03:07,908 From upside down, 1464 01:03:07,993 --> 01:03:09,950 your mustache looks like a big hairy smile. 1465 01:03:10,036 --> 01:03:11,258 Why would you give me the Shocker? 1466 01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:13,700 My way of saying, "Thanks, honey. You saved my life." 1467 01:03:14,249 --> 01:03:15,990 I was dead. I went to heaven. 1468 01:03:16,251 --> 01:03:17,412 And you were there. 1469 01:03:17,585 --> 01:03:19,622 - You know what you were doing? - What? 1470 01:03:20,046 --> 01:03:22,538 Trying to make out with me, sweetheart! I'm on to you. 1471 01:03:22,632 --> 01:03:25,420 Come here. Give me some more of that. 1472 01:03:26,636 --> 01:03:27,717 What the hell is that? 1473 01:03:34,602 --> 01:03:36,388 Well, hello, Laverne! 1474 01:03:37,355 --> 01:03:38,470 Looks like the same stuff. 1475 01:03:38,648 --> 01:03:40,559 Yeah, but a shit-ton more of it. 1476 01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:44,146 Holy Hindu holidays. 1477 01:03:44,571 --> 01:03:45,902 There's a new guest at the party. 1478 01:03:47,115 --> 01:03:48,822 AK-47s. 1479 01:03:53,371 --> 01:03:54,452 Hey. 1480 01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:56,029 No, I don't want to hear it, Rabbit. 1481 01:03:56,207 --> 01:03:57,789 Genevieve, could I just explain? 1482 01:03:57,959 --> 01:03:59,449 There is nothing to explain. 1483 01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:01,243 They put bears in our station. 1484 01:04:01,338 --> 01:04:02,453 This is Canada! 1485 01:04:02,630 --> 01:04:04,212 There are bears everywhere. 1486 01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:05,603 There are bears that go through 1487 01:04:05,633 --> 01:04:06,714 my garbage every night. 1488 01:04:06,885 --> 01:04:09,468 I have cereal with bears in it: Bearios. 1489 01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:11,465 Canada's most popular breakfast. 1490 01:04:11,639 --> 01:04:12,839 Someone say "Bearios"? 1491 01:04:13,266 --> 01:04:15,883 Hey there, Genny. Wanna grab some eats? 1492 01:04:16,227 --> 01:04:17,227 No, thanks. 1493 01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:20,850 Turn that into a maybe and I'll have your baby. 1494 01:04:22,942 --> 01:04:24,478 Lonnie Laloush? 1495 01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:27,110 That's Mon nom. Don't wear it out, eh? 1496 01:04:27,447 --> 01:04:29,905 You want a hot coffee? I'm pouring. 1497 01:04:29,991 --> 01:04:31,322 Oui, s'il Te plait. 1498 01:04:32,077 --> 01:04:33,738 "Seems like a real "dickwa-duh"... huh? 1499 01:04:33,912 --> 01:04:36,950 I told everyone how wonderful you all are. 1500 01:04:37,123 --> 01:04:40,241 Well, you're not. You have bad hearts. 1501 01:04:40,418 --> 01:04:41,624 Who wants crème fraiche? 1502 01:04:42,629 --> 01:04:43,710 Nobody? 1503 01:04:45,215 --> 01:04:47,081 Okay, no crème fraiche! 1504 01:04:48,343 --> 01:04:49,959 - Please just go. - Genevieve-- 1505 01:04:50,136 --> 01:04:51,217 Just go. 1506 01:05:01,064 --> 01:05:04,291 They're actually AK-48s. Illegal in the U.S. 1507 01:05:04,401 --> 01:05:05,401 Why 48? 1508 01:05:05,568 --> 01:05:08,435 Because they hold one extra bullet. 1509 01:05:08,613 --> 01:05:09,653 Yeah, sure. You never know 1510 01:05:09,697 --> 01:05:11,086 when you're gonna need just one more. 1511 01:05:11,116 --> 01:05:12,236 This one says "Tiger Penis." 1512 01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:13,325 Suck it! 1513 01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:14,650 Shut up, Farva. 1514 01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:15,965 The Chinese use it to get hard-ons. 1515 01:05:15,995 --> 01:05:17,384 I tried to get it once. You can't buy it 1516 01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:18,745 in the United States. 1517 01:05:21,209 --> 01:05:23,207 Dude, what's up with your mustache? 1518 01:05:23,238 --> 01:05:24,301 Nothing. 1519 01:05:26,026 --> 01:05:27,940 Are you wearing a mustache wig? 1520 01:05:27,971 --> 01:05:30,218 It's a postiche, okay? I'm having a little hair loss. 1521 01:05:30,249 --> 01:05:31,190 Don't worry about it. 1522 01:05:31,221 --> 01:05:33,135 Worry about your own goddamn mustache. 1523 01:05:33,471 --> 01:05:34,757 Fuckin' asshole. 1524 01:05:34,931 --> 01:05:36,672 Mac tell you guys about our little moment? 1525 01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:38,552 Did you, Mac and Cheese? 1526 01:05:38,726 --> 01:05:40,686 You told us, Farva. I don't want to hear it again. 1527 01:05:40,937 --> 01:05:42,348 I'm the Cheese. 1528 01:05:42,439 --> 01:05:43,493 All right, look, guys. 1529 01:05:43,523 --> 01:05:44,869 I know we're in some serious shit here, 1530 01:05:44,899 --> 01:05:46,099 but if we can crack this case, 1531 01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:47,398 we might just be able to get 1532 01:05:47,485 --> 01:05:48,665 beyond this whole Mountie thing. 1533 01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:49,935 We didn't do anything. 1534 01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:51,418 Foster, we kidnapped and impersonated 1535 01:05:51,448 --> 01:05:52,688 officers of a sovereign nation. 1536 01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:54,314 Right. 1537 01:05:54,492 --> 01:05:57,450 Cuban cigars, Canadian pills, counterfeit cell phones, 1538 01:05:57,537 --> 01:05:58,948 AK-48s and Tiger Penis. 1539 01:05:59,122 --> 01:06:00,122 What's the link? 1540 01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:03,452 All this stuff is more valuable in the U.S. 1541 01:06:03,543 --> 01:06:04,543 than in Canada. 1542 01:06:04,711 --> 01:06:05,951 So, it's a smuggling operation. 1543 01:06:05,990 --> 01:06:07,809 Someone is trying to move this shit over the border. 1544 01:06:07,839 --> 01:06:08,839 No, they're not. 1545 01:06:09,674 --> 01:06:11,312 Think about it. This stuff is just sitting 1546 01:06:11,342 --> 01:06:12,717 here on Canadian land. Yeah. Okay. 1547 01:06:12,748 --> 01:06:14,764 But what happens when this Canadian land 1548 01:06:14,795 --> 01:06:16,465 becomes American land? 1549 01:06:16,639 --> 01:06:20,052 No need to move it at all. It's already on U.S. soil. 1550 01:06:20,226 --> 01:06:21,637 Exactly, huh? 1551 01:06:21,728 --> 01:06:24,311 Passive smuggling. It's my kind of crime. 1552 01:06:24,481 --> 01:06:26,848 So, they must have this shit stashed all along the border. 1553 01:06:27,025 --> 01:06:28,390 Yeah. But who is "they"? 1554 01:06:28,568 --> 01:06:30,058 Who "are" they? 1555 01:06:30,236 --> 01:06:31,374 Look, I said this earlier 1556 01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:32,484 and you guys laughed at me. 1557 01:06:32,572 --> 01:06:35,940 But I think it's the Mounties. They are shit people. Okay? 1558 01:06:36,117 --> 01:06:37,917 And they smoke Cubans cigars. We've seen that. 1559 01:06:38,077 --> 01:06:39,841 They're getting transferred to God knows where. 1560 01:06:39,871 --> 01:06:40,952 What do they have to lose? 1561 01:06:41,122 --> 01:06:44,285 I am starting to agree with Sherlock McSerpico over here. 1562 01:06:45,418 --> 01:06:46,453 Ooh! 1563 01:06:46,544 --> 01:06:47,544 I'm telling you, fellas. 1564 01:06:47,629 --> 01:06:49,540 In my experience, it's always the local cops. 1565 01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:51,769 What would you guys give me if I kill that bird? 1566 01:06:51,799 --> 01:06:52,960 Farva, that's a bald eagle! 1567 01:06:53,134 --> 01:06:54,249 Get a wig, baldy! 1568 01:06:57,305 --> 01:06:58,887 Yeah! 1569 01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:00,304 Put the goddamn gun down. 1570 01:07:00,475 --> 01:07:02,512 What? 1571 01:07:02,602 --> 01:07:04,934 Oh, booyah! Guys, what do I win? 1572 01:07:05,104 --> 01:07:06,890 A one-way ticket to hell. 1573 01:07:12,445 --> 01:07:14,356 This place wishes it was Shenanigans. 1574 01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:15,817 Welcome to Chicanery's, eh! 1575 01:07:16,574 --> 01:07:17,574 Can I get you a booth? 1576 01:07:17,742 --> 01:07:19,858 Uh, no. We're meeting somebody here. 1577 01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:21,071 Oh, yeah, there he is. 1578 01:07:21,246 --> 01:07:23,157 ♪ I'll pay the rent ♪ 1579 01:07:23,790 --> 01:07:26,703 ♪ God knows I've done you wrong... ♪ 1580 01:07:26,793 --> 01:07:28,723 Chief, we've been looking all over for you. 1581 01:07:28,753 --> 01:07:30,475 - Cap. Cap. - Cap, I think we've figured it out! 1582 01:07:30,505 --> 01:07:31,768 Chief. I think we cracked the thing. 1583 01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:33,019 - What are you doing? - I'm just-- 1584 01:07:33,049 --> 01:07:35,209 What are you doing? I've been waiting here for an hour. 1585 01:07:35,260 --> 01:07:37,065 - You're gonna want to know this. - This is my song. 1586 01:07:37,095 --> 01:07:39,856 - I know, but listen. I think-- - I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down. 1587 01:07:39,889 --> 01:07:41,345 - No, no, no. - I'm singing here. 1588 01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:43,048 I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down! 1589 01:07:46,312 --> 01:07:51,148 ♪ Bill Bailey, won't you please come home... ♪ 1590 01:07:51,693 --> 01:07:53,058 What can I get for you guys? 1591 01:07:53,152 --> 01:07:55,268 Maybe a cold beer? Liter of cola? 1592 01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:56,655 What did you say? 1593 01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:58,026 Do you want a liter of cola? 1594 01:07:58,074 --> 01:07:59,360 You have that here? 1595 01:07:59,534 --> 01:08:00,899 Yeah, we got the Decaliter Delight. 1596 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,157 You get a punch card, you rack up ten liters of cola, 1597 01:08:03,204 --> 01:08:04,324 get yourself a free dessert. 1598 01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:06,030 Bring them all. Bring them all right now. 1599 01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:08,935 Bring all ten liters and the punch card. 1600 01:08:09,002 --> 01:08:10,037 I want it all right now. 1601 01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:13,213 Come on. 1602 01:08:13,298 --> 01:08:14,880 Canada is pretty awesome. 1603 01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:17,128 - Boop boop. - Uh, don't do that. 1604 01:08:17,218 --> 01:08:19,630 - Boop beep boo boop beep. - Cut the crap. 1605 01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:28,389 Genevieve? 1606 01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:31,562 I feel terrible about what I said to you. 1607 01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:33,770 I know I overreacted. 1608 01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:37,270 It's just the town is so upset about the turnover. 1609 01:08:37,363 --> 01:08:38,363 Sure. 1610 01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:40,280 Anyway, you are not a bad person, 1611 01:08:40,366 --> 01:08:42,232 even if you are American. 1612 01:08:43,745 --> 01:08:45,425 Well, I've actually been working on that for you. 1613 01:08:45,455 --> 01:08:46,455 - For me? - Yeah. 1614 01:08:46,623 --> 01:08:48,862 Moosehead. Canadian beer. 1615 01:08:49,167 --> 01:08:51,158 Beaver chili. Très canadien. 1616 01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:54,453 And I've been working on my French too. 1617 01:08:57,300 --> 01:08:59,462 Oh, I love this song! 1618 01:09:00,136 --> 01:09:03,595 Oh, it reminds me of summers on Etang de la Soupe Aux Pois. 1619 01:09:18,404 --> 01:09:21,317 Wow! That's very good. 1620 01:09:21,407 --> 01:09:24,445 Oh, I wouldn't say that, but I don't even know what it means. 1621 01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:28,157 It's a sad song about the Nazi Occupation of France. 1622 01:09:29,582 --> 01:09:30,697 Oh. 1623 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:32,115 I'm sorry. I-- 1624 01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:33,408 No. No, no. 1625 01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:35,042 It's about two lovers 1626 01:09:35,129 --> 01:09:37,837 trapped in a war that neither wanted, 1627 01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:41,337 but they love each other anyway. 1628 01:09:42,053 --> 01:09:43,168 Oh. 1629 01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:45,424 So much better. 1630 01:09:58,486 --> 01:09:59,976 - Is this really happening? - Oh, yes. 1631 01:10:01,781 --> 01:10:02,896 I love it. 1632 01:10:04,659 --> 01:10:05,740 Wait, wait, wait. 1633 01:10:05,827 --> 01:10:07,587 - Where is the fat one's desk? - Right there. 1634 01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:08,704 Okay. 1635 01:10:08,913 --> 01:10:10,153 You don't know his name? 1636 01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:11,787 Flarvla. 1637 01:10:11,874 --> 01:10:13,535 I smell a new nickname. 1638 01:10:14,419 --> 01:10:15,875 Guess we hurry. 1639 01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:24,797 Passive smuggling? It's brilliant. 1640 01:10:24,887 --> 01:10:25,983 And it's gotta be the Mounties. 1641 01:10:26,013 --> 01:10:27,013 Why? 1642 01:10:27,098 --> 01:10:28,554 'Cause it's always the local cops. 1643 01:10:28,891 --> 01:10:29,891 Here's your punch card. 1644 01:10:32,270 --> 01:10:34,181 Five, six, seven, eight. 1645 01:10:34,564 --> 01:10:36,805 Number nine. This is ten. 1646 01:10:36,983 --> 01:10:39,350 Technically, you have to drink all ten to get the dessert. 1647 01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:40,527 Oh, you challenging me? 1648 01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:41,971 This will be gone in three seconds. 1649 01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:43,732 I'll have the butter tart yule log. 1650 01:10:43,823 --> 01:10:45,405 Come on. Chop-chop! 1651 01:10:45,867 --> 01:10:47,483 Just do it, dude. 1652 01:10:49,954 --> 01:10:51,240 Canada! 1653 01:10:51,664 --> 01:10:52,699 And the beauty is, 1654 01:10:52,790 --> 01:10:54,595 there's nothing they can do with all that contraband 1655 01:10:54,625 --> 01:10:56,241 until this land becomes America. 1656 01:10:56,419 --> 01:10:58,751 So all we have to do is push back the turnover, 1657 01:10:58,838 --> 01:11:00,545 until we can find the rest of the stuff. 1658 01:11:00,631 --> 01:11:01,811 Well, you heard LeFranc. 1659 01:11:01,841 --> 01:11:03,752 Who knows what's gonna happen with the turnover? 1660 01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:06,338 Whatever happens, we gotta solve this case. Now. 1661 01:11:07,138 --> 01:11:09,004 Let's take another look at that contraband. 1662 01:11:09,098 --> 01:11:10,818 We may have missed something. 1663 01:11:11,434 --> 01:11:13,926 Hold on! I didn't get my free dessert. 1664 01:11:14,020 --> 01:11:15,020 Move it, Farva! 1665 01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:17,015 Come on! It's a fuckin' butter tart yule log! 1666 01:11:17,190 --> 01:11:18,806 Let's go! Now! 1667 01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:20,435 Damn it. 1668 01:11:22,945 --> 01:11:24,686 Oh! Whoa! Watch it, pal. 1669 01:11:24,864 --> 01:11:26,775 Walk faster, finger blaster. 1670 01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:39,625 Son of a-- Rabbit! 1671 01:11:40,797 --> 01:11:42,629 Whoa! The booty is gone! 1672 01:11:42,799 --> 01:11:44,039 Did they take the Flova Scotia? 1673 01:11:45,218 --> 01:11:46,834 In addition to Rabbit! 1674 01:11:47,678 --> 01:11:49,760 Hold your bones. Rabbit's car. 1675 01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,763 The dash cam! Look at this. 1676 01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:53,298 Ooh, you clever little prick, you. 1677 01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:54,932 Prick? I'm tired of these putdowns! 1678 01:11:55,102 --> 01:11:56,388 It's a compliment, shithead. 1679 01:11:56,562 --> 01:11:58,769 Fuck you, midget Burt Reynolds. 1680 01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:02,561 - Mm. - Mm-mm. 1681 01:12:04,028 --> 01:12:05,985 Oh, a little ménage à two. 1682 01:12:06,072 --> 01:12:07,608 Mm. 1683 01:12:08,699 --> 01:12:10,235 - Ah. - Yeah, partner. 1684 01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:14,577 Can you believe she picked Donnie Osmond over me? 1685 01:12:14,664 --> 01:12:16,450 Yes. ls anyone else shocked here? 1686 01:12:16,624 --> 01:12:17,910 - No. - And on my desk? 1687 01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:20,291 Shut up, Farva. This is serious. 1688 01:12:20,378 --> 01:12:22,164 - Whoa! - What the fuck? 1689 01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:23,858 Now how are we gonna find them? 1690 01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:26,297 All those iPhones had the same number. 1691 01:12:26,467 --> 01:12:28,378 Now, if we only had a triangulator, 1692 01:12:28,469 --> 01:12:29,504 we could locate them. 1693 01:12:30,930 --> 01:12:33,262 Aha! Take that, you bastards. 1694 01:12:33,808 --> 01:12:35,515 Those are the phones right there. 1695 01:12:35,601 --> 01:12:36,636 Enhance. 1696 01:12:37,895 --> 01:12:39,306 All right, but what is this place? 1697 01:12:39,397 --> 01:12:40,397 Enhance. 1698 01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:44,228 - Enhance. - Okay, okay. 1699 01:12:44,402 --> 01:12:46,268 "Sciere de la Vache." 1700 01:12:46,445 --> 01:12:48,565 All right, you guys speak French, what does that mean? 1701 01:12:48,614 --> 01:12:51,948 I don't know what "sciere" means 1702 01:12:52,034 --> 01:12:53,900 and I also don't know what "vache" means. 1703 01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:56,160 So you really don't understand anything? 1704 01:12:56,330 --> 01:12:57,661 Sciere de la Vache? 1705 01:12:57,748 --> 01:13:00,206 "I believe it's “The Scary Vase." 1706 01:13:00,376 --> 01:13:02,617 Yeah, yeah. Let's see, sciere is "beetle." 1707 01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:04,706 Beetle vase. No. Yes. 1708 01:13:04,881 --> 01:13:08,044 Yeah. But la vache is "angry." “Angry Beetle." 1709 01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:09,833 - Okay. - Yeah. Angry Beetle, we think. 1710 01:13:10,011 --> 01:13:12,753 It's "The Sawmill of the Cow," you idiots!" 1711 01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:14,420 It's a sawmill! 1712 01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:17,216 - Why "Sawmill of the Cow"? - It doesn't make any sense. 1713 01:13:17,518 --> 01:13:19,555 Let's go and give those Canuckleheads 1714 01:13:19,645 --> 01:13:21,682 a good old-fashioned red-white-and-blue, 1715 01:13:21,856 --> 01:13:23,142 fist-fucking! 1716 01:13:23,232 --> 01:13:24,672 Yeah! Let's do it! 1717 01:13:26,444 --> 01:13:27,559 Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun! 1718 01:13:27,945 --> 01:13:28,945 Whoa! 1719 01:13:29,363 --> 01:13:30,478 Shit. 1720 01:13:30,573 --> 01:13:32,253 ♪ You didn't want to scratch ♪ 1721 01:13:32,283 --> 01:13:33,443 ♪ But then you got the itch ♪ 1722 01:13:33,492 --> 01:13:36,532 ♪ You know you're always paying for the shit that's free, it's not easy... ♪ 1723 01:13:37,204 --> 01:13:39,536 Hey, pull over. I gotta take a pee-ahs. 1724 01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:41,053 Shouldn't have drank all that soda. 1725 01:13:41,083 --> 01:13:43,620 ♪ I tried to make it easy, never stop the flow... ♪ 1726 01:13:43,711 --> 01:13:44,792 It just now occurred to me, 1727 01:13:44,879 --> 01:13:46,517 you and I have never been alone together before. 1728 01:13:46,547 --> 01:13:48,037 Yeah, thank God. 1729 01:13:49,091 --> 01:13:51,583 Seriously. Have we ever had a one-on-one conversation? 1730 01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:53,793 Why would we? You seem like a pretty boring dude. 1731 01:13:55,556 --> 01:13:57,467 You still banging that blonde cop, or... 1732 01:13:58,309 --> 01:14:01,176 ♪ You say you want to finish, but you never start ♪ 1733 01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:04,012 ♪ You want to get it finished, but you just try hard... ♪ 1734 01:14:04,106 --> 01:14:05,161 Where the hell are they going? 1735 01:14:05,191 --> 01:14:07,933 ♪ It don't take nothing fancy, it's just ABC's... ♪ 1736 01:14:08,152 --> 01:14:09,392 That was the turn, back there. 1737 01:14:10,321 --> 01:14:12,187 Are you sure? I-- I don't think so. 1738 01:14:12,365 --> 01:14:14,322 Have you completely lost your sense of direction? 1739 01:14:14,492 --> 01:14:16,574 Well, your yelling at me certainly doesn't help! 1740 01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:18,257 Cap's right, though. That was the turn. 1741 01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:19,777 Shut up, Mr. Perfect. 1742 01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:23,122 Whoa! 1743 01:14:23,209 --> 01:14:24,769 ♪ That it's easier without complexity ♪ 1744 01:14:24,835 --> 01:14:27,827 ♪ Too broke to pay attention, better get you some ♪ 1745 01:14:27,922 --> 01:14:31,040 ♪ When trouble's up I double up on bubble gum ♪ 1746 01:14:35,846 --> 01:14:38,178 ♪ ...without complexity ♪ 1747 01:14:38,265 --> 01:14:39,881 ♪ You want the good stuff ♪ 1748 01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:41,572 - ♪ You want the big hit... ♪ - I saw that! 1749 01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,764 - Where are those female sex pills? - Cap! 1750 01:14:43,854 --> 01:14:45,219 Give them to me! Give them to me! 1751 01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:47,976 ♪ But if you close your eyes, then you won't see ♪ 1752 01:14:48,067 --> 01:14:51,150 ♪ That it's easier without complexity ♪ 1753 01:14:51,904 --> 01:14:52,904 Thank you. 1754 01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:09,831 No sign of Rabbit. 1755 01:15:10,006 --> 01:15:11,622 But I got two Mountie cars 1756 01:15:12,508 --> 01:15:14,749 and our contraband. 1757 01:15:15,386 --> 01:15:16,467 Where the hell is Farva? 1758 01:15:18,723 --> 01:15:20,384 Ah. I got him. 1759 01:15:23,102 --> 01:15:25,389 He's like a walking hydrothermal explosion. 1760 01:15:26,188 --> 01:15:28,350 You want to see some fartography? 1761 01:15:30,526 --> 01:15:31,664 I'm still gonna go back 1762 01:15:31,694 --> 01:15:33,105 and get that butter tart yule log. 1763 01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:36,942 All right, boys. Let's milk this cow. 1764 01:15:44,540 --> 01:15:45,970 I moved this stuff the last time. 1765 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:47,680 I don't want to lift it either. 1766 01:15:47,710 --> 01:15:48,931 You don't move anything. 1767 01:15:48,961 --> 01:15:51,077 You don't move your body, you don't move boxes. 1768 01:15:53,049 --> 01:15:54,380 One, two, three, go! 1769 01:15:59,055 --> 01:16:00,216 Freeze! You're under arrest! 1770 01:16:00,389 --> 01:16:02,426 Bullshit, eh! You're under arrest! 1771 01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:03,880 Bullshit, you fucking smugglers! 1772 01:16:03,934 --> 01:16:05,781 We're not the smugglers! You're the fucking smugglers. 1773 01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:07,033 We're not the fucking smugglers! 1774 01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:08,117 You're the fucking smugglers! 1775 01:16:08,147 --> 01:16:09,433 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 1776 01:16:09,523 --> 01:16:11,264 Everyone, lower your weapons! 1777 01:16:11,442 --> 01:16:12,477 Something is not right. 1778 01:16:12,651 --> 01:16:15,564 Wait, wait, wait. The old-timey one is right. 1779 01:16:15,738 --> 01:16:17,524 Something doesn't add up here. 1780 01:16:20,117 --> 01:16:22,154 - Oh, shit! - Die, you fucking smuggler! 1781 01:16:22,328 --> 01:16:23,489 Farva, you idiot! 1782 01:16:24,872 --> 01:16:26,738 Put the gun down! Put the gun down! 1783 01:16:26,916 --> 01:16:28,247 Fuck you. Fuck you. 1784 01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:29,334 Put down the fuckin' gun! 1785 01:16:29,418 --> 01:16:31,375 Drop the gun, I don't want to shoot! 1786 01:16:31,545 --> 01:16:32,910 You fuckin' Canadians! 1787 01:16:33,005 --> 01:16:34,005 Cool. 1788 01:16:35,549 --> 01:16:36,880 What the fuck are you guys doing? 1789 01:16:41,097 --> 01:16:42,883 Blinded by the light 1790 01:16:42,973 --> 01:16:43,973 Apropos, right? 1791 01:16:44,517 --> 01:16:45,928 Go on, kill each other. 1792 01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:47,268 What ever happened to 1793 01:16:47,353 --> 01:16:48,935 "Shoot first and ask questions later"? 1794 01:16:49,355 --> 01:16:51,266 Uh, what the shit, Guy? Why you tell us 1795 01:16:51,357 --> 01:16:52,847 these guys are the smuggler, huh? 1796 01:16:53,025 --> 01:16:54,413 Well, it's a lot smarter than telling you 1797 01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:55,443 that I'm the smuggler. 1798 01:16:55,861 --> 01:16:57,898 What do you mean, you're the smuggler? 1799 01:16:58,072 --> 01:17:00,530 I'm sorry, but what else was I gonna do? 1800 01:17:00,699 --> 01:17:02,815 Being the mayor of a small Canadian town 1801 01:17:02,910 --> 01:17:04,150 sounds romantic and cool. 1802 01:17:04,328 --> 01:17:06,035 Being the mayor of a small American town 1803 01:17:06,122 --> 01:17:08,454 sounds like you're a loser. For reals. 1804 01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:09,997 You gotta admit 1805 01:17:10,084 --> 01:17:12,542 it's a good scam. All along the borderline. 1806 01:17:12,711 --> 01:17:13,997 But I never would've thought that 1807 01:17:14,088 --> 01:17:16,045 the guys from the Fred Savage incident 1808 01:17:16,215 --> 01:17:17,956 would be the ones to trip me up. 1809 01:17:18,134 --> 01:17:19,841 These are the cops that killed Fred Savage? 1810 01:17:19,927 --> 01:17:20,927 Sadly. 1811 01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:25,805 But I will say this little rivalry between police forces, 1812 01:17:25,975 --> 01:17:27,932 is the perfect opportunity to take you both out. 1813 01:17:28,102 --> 01:17:29,467 Well, now we're taking you in. 1814 01:17:29,562 --> 01:17:30,973 I'm sorry. 1815 01:17:31,063 --> 01:17:32,623 But that's not the way it's going to go. 1816 01:17:33,232 --> 01:17:35,018 Henri, if you would be so kind. 1817 01:17:36,902 --> 01:17:38,563 - No! - Oh, Jesus. 1818 01:17:38,737 --> 01:17:40,167 - Holy shit! - And do pay attention 1819 01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:41,437 to that man behind the curtain. 1820 01:17:46,370 --> 01:17:47,810 Your Rabbit wasn't quick enough. 1821 01:17:47,872 --> 01:17:49,954 Maybe next time, he'll hop a little faster, eh? 1822 01:17:50,124 --> 01:17:51,239 If anything happens to him, 1823 01:17:51,333 --> 01:17:53,199 I'm gonna fuck you six ways to Sunday! 1824 01:17:53,377 --> 01:17:56,915 Jeez Louise. Now I know who gobbled all my Flova Scotia. 1825 01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:00,419 So, drop your guns, 1826 01:18:00,676 --> 01:18:02,508 or the Rabbit and his girlfriend 1827 01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:06,133 will multiply in gruesome fashion. 1828 01:18:06,640 --> 01:18:07,640 I'm so sorry. 1829 01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:13,117 Let her go, Guy. She has nothing to do with this! 1830 01:18:13,147 --> 01:18:15,809 If they put their guns down, no harm will come to her. 1831 01:18:19,486 --> 01:18:20,486 Go on. Drop them. 1832 01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:23,441 Drop your guns. Drop it. 1833 01:18:27,411 --> 01:18:28,947 Now get those hands in the air. 1834 01:18:29,788 --> 01:18:30,788 Like you just don't care. 1835 01:18:33,375 --> 01:18:34,786 So, are you ready... 1836 01:18:38,714 --> 01:18:39,875 for the big twist? 1837 01:18:48,682 --> 01:18:50,468 What the fuck? 1838 01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:54,055 What are you doing? What? 1839 01:18:55,147 --> 01:18:56,763 Shut the front door! 1840 01:18:56,941 --> 01:18:58,056 Genevieve. 1841 01:18:59,068 --> 01:19:00,308 What the hell is going on here? 1842 01:19:00,527 --> 01:19:01,887 Let me go. Let me out of my chains. 1843 01:19:02,196 --> 01:19:04,358 What the fuck took you so long, Guy? 1844 01:19:04,698 --> 01:19:07,030 First I have to have his circumcised dick in me 1845 01:19:07,201 --> 01:19:08,783 and then you tie me to this log? 1846 01:19:08,953 --> 01:19:12,241 Sorry, my dear. Had to keep up appearances. 1847 01:19:12,546 --> 01:19:15,077 I can still smell the American on me. 1848 01:19:15,334 --> 01:19:18,122 Smells like... hot dog water. 1849 01:19:18,587 --> 01:19:20,043 Are you fucking kidding me? 1850 01:19:22,841 --> 01:19:23,841 I hate you! 1851 01:19:24,218 --> 01:19:25,218 I hate you. 1852 01:19:25,344 --> 01:19:26,344 Shoot them. 1853 01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:29,264 Shoot them all. 1854 01:19:29,431 --> 01:19:30,637 With pleasure, boss. 1855 01:19:31,892 --> 01:19:33,006 Hold on! 1856 01:19:33,102 --> 01:19:36,436 If I'm going down, I'm going down American! 1857 01:19:37,147 --> 01:19:41,141 ♪ Oh say can you sing ♪ 1858 01:19:41,318 --> 01:19:44,561 ♪ By the dawn's early fight ♪ 1859 01:19:45,072 --> 01:19:48,861 ♪ What so loudly we sail ♪ 1860 01:19:49,326 --> 01:19:52,694 ♪ At the nightlife on the street ♪ 1861 01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:56,535 ♪ And the red rocking chair' ♪ 1862 01:19:57,001 --> 01:20:00,119 ♪ The bombs gasping for air ♪ 1863 01:20:00,713 --> 01:20:03,705 ♪ Gave proof in the life ♪ 1864 01:20:03,882 --> 01:20:05,602 All right, all right, enough with that song. 1865 01:20:06,677 --> 01:20:07,677 Shoot them. 1866 01:20:15,936 --> 01:20:17,518 Hurry, it's about to slice my Johnson! 1867 01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:22,481 ♪ It's going real fast... ♪ 1868 01:20:22,568 --> 01:20:23,568 This is not happening. 1869 01:20:23,652 --> 01:20:25,572 ♪ And you got it right now, but I don't see it ♪ 1870 01:20:28,073 --> 01:20:29,295 ♪ Secret plans ♪ 1871 01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:33,239 ♪ Midnight missions, with emotion, ooh, ooh... ♪ 1872 01:20:35,205 --> 01:20:37,492 ♪ Midnight missions, with emotion... ♪ 1873 01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:39,540 That was a hell of a thing to do. 1874 01:20:39,710 --> 01:20:42,042 I guess my maternal instinct is kicking in. 1875 01:20:42,129 --> 01:20:44,849 ♪ I'm really not sure but then I want it, man, but I don't need it ♪ 1876 01:20:46,342 --> 01:20:47,377 What'? 1877 01:20:47,551 --> 01:20:48,586 Shoot the cow. 1878 01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:50,216 - ♪ Secret plans... ♪' - Ahh...! 1879 01:20:50,247 --> 01:20:51,176 ♪ Midnight missions ♪ 1880 01:20:51,263 --> 01:20:54,051 ♪ With emotion, ooh, ooh ♪ 1881 01:20:54,141 --> 01:20:56,758 ♪ Secret plans, midnight missions ♪ 1882 01:20:56,852 --> 01:20:58,308 ♪ With emotion ♪ 1883 01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:00,352 Damn it! I'm out of bullets! 1884 01:21:00,939 --> 01:21:01,939 I got one more! 1885 01:21:02,274 --> 01:21:03,274 Make it count! 1886 01:21:03,359 --> 01:21:06,602 ♪ What I want, what I want, what I want, what I want ♪ 1887 01:21:09,114 --> 01:21:10,650 ♪ What I want, what I want... ♪ 1888 01:21:10,741 --> 01:21:11,902 Oh! 1889 01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:13,409 Ow. 1890 01:21:18,415 --> 01:21:19,905 Gotta love that 48th bullet. 1891 01:21:20,667 --> 01:21:21,707 Drop it! Drop your weapon! 1892 01:21:21,752 --> 01:21:23,459 Come on, get up from the dirt. 1893 01:21:23,545 --> 01:21:26,378 Come on! I'm about to get neutered! 1894 01:21:26,465 --> 01:21:27,561 Hang on! 4 got you-I got you. 1895 01:21:27,591 --> 01:21:29,151 Get me outta here! 1896 01:21:29,510 --> 01:21:31,626 Get me off this! 1897 01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,085 ♪ What I want, what I want... ♪ 1898 01:21:33,180 --> 01:21:34,180 I don't think so. 1899 01:21:34,264 --> 01:21:38,349 Okay. Now you've lit the fuse of the Halifax Explosion. 1900 01:21:38,852 --> 01:21:40,388 Yeah. In my day... 1901 01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:42,724 when your big boy teeth came in, 1902 01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:44,415 your hockey coach would pull them out... 1903 01:21:45,025 --> 01:21:46,390 so you wouldn't miss a shift. 1904 01:21:46,485 --> 01:21:47,975 Yeah? In my country, 1905 01:21:48,445 --> 01:21:50,402 we let the Tooth Fairy deal with that shit. 1906 01:21:50,572 --> 01:21:52,378 You would know all about fairies, wouldn't you? 1907 01:21:52,408 --> 01:21:54,115 Okay. Let's do this, moosefucker. 1908 01:21:54,201 --> 01:21:55,339 - Yeah, You want to do it? - Yeah. 1909 01:21:55,369 --> 01:21:57,299 - Yeah. You wanna go? Yeah. - Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. 1910 01:21:57,329 --> 01:21:59,249 - You wanna go? You wanna go? - Yeah. I wanna go. 1911 01:21:59,665 --> 01:22:02,282 Ooh, clip-on. Little tacky, eh? 1912 01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:18,047 Yeah! 1913 01:22:18,225 --> 01:22:19,556 That's one former hockey player 1914 01:22:19,643 --> 01:22:20,678 who can shut the puck up! 1915 01:22:20,894 --> 01:22:21,894 Right, guys? 1916 01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:25,271 Shit, that was a good line. 1917 01:22:28,569 --> 01:22:30,059 Come on, damn it! 1918 01:22:30,154 --> 01:22:32,065 Motherfucker! 1919 01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:46,542 That's great! That's great! 1920 01:22:46,712 --> 01:22:48,767 What the hell is wrong with you guys? 1921 01:22:48,797 --> 01:22:50,913 It's like none of you Yanks ever operated 1922 01:22:51,008 --> 01:22:53,340 an industrial grade rotary timber saw, eh? 1923 01:22:53,510 --> 01:22:55,126 Hey! What about your accent? 1924 01:22:55,888 --> 01:22:59,677 Andrea Spooner, Ontario Provincial Police. 1925 01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:01,215 - What? - Shut up! 1926 01:23:01,393 --> 01:23:02,393 What'? 1927 01:23:12,738 --> 01:23:15,230 Why is the Vermont Highway Patrol even here? 1928 01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,614 I've been undercover three years. 1929 01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:18,819 Part of a task force 1930 01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:20,276 with the Organized Crime Unit 1931 01:23:20,370 --> 01:23:22,077 of the Ontario Provincial Police. 1932 01:23:22,247 --> 01:23:23,612 She's down with OPP. 1933 01:23:23,790 --> 01:23:26,657 You assholes just blew three years of work for me. 1934 01:23:26,835 --> 01:23:29,293 I was this close to getting their supplier. 1935 01:23:29,379 --> 01:23:30,619 Now I'll never get 'em. 1936 01:23:30,797 --> 01:23:32,917 Well, I'm happy to offer you full cooperation of our-- 1937 01:23:33,050 --> 01:23:34,290 Shut the fuck up! 1938 01:23:35,385 --> 01:23:36,591 Hm. 1939 01:23:37,095 --> 01:23:38,585 - Wow. - Wow. 1940 01:23:38,764 --> 01:23:40,471 Hey, guys, do me a solid, eh? 1941 01:23:40,641 --> 01:23:41,862 When you're sweeping up back there, 1942 01:23:41,892 --> 01:23:43,113 keep an eye out for my falsies. 1943 01:23:43,143 --> 01:23:45,009 Nah. You're not going to need teeth 1944 01:23:45,103 --> 01:23:46,138 where you're going, eh. 1945 01:23:46,313 --> 01:23:47,974 You were our hero, Guy. 1946 01:23:48,065 --> 01:23:49,806 A hockey player who owned a whorehouse. 1947 01:23:49,983 --> 01:23:51,439 And to think you spent 11 years 1948 01:23:51,527 --> 01:23:52,733 in the Canadiens system. 1949 01:23:52,903 --> 01:23:55,270 Newsy Lalonde would be rolling in his grave right now. 1950 01:23:55,447 --> 01:23:57,939 You would have fit in good in Calgary, eh. 1951 01:23:58,033 --> 01:23:59,740 Talk about a bunch of goon. 1952 01:23:59,910 --> 01:24:01,507 Especially that defenseman Bonchance. 1953 01:24:01,537 --> 01:24:02,572 That guy is the worst. 1954 01:24:02,746 --> 01:24:04,032 What a mucker, that guy, eh? 1955 01:24:04,206 --> 01:24:07,119 No, he end up in the QSPHL by the time he's 38. 1956 01:24:07,292 --> 01:24:08,782 Boring! 1957 01:24:09,586 --> 01:24:12,123 Easy! Easy! 1958 01:24:12,548 --> 01:24:13,788 Ah! Oh! 1959 01:24:13,882 --> 01:24:15,418 There he is! 1960 01:24:15,592 --> 01:24:17,072 They wrapped you in the Japanese flag. 1961 01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:21,299 Hey, man, thanks for saving my life. 1962 01:24:21,473 --> 01:24:23,635 I don't know what I would have done without you. 1963 01:24:23,809 --> 01:24:25,569 Oh, that's okay, I don't need a hug. 1964 01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:27,180 It's not for you. 1965 01:24:30,065 --> 01:24:31,065 Okay. 1966 01:24:32,568 --> 01:24:35,105 Careful, careful, careful! Ooh! Careful! 1967 01:24:36,530 --> 01:24:38,567 Ooh. Guys. Easy! Careful! 1968 01:24:39,992 --> 01:24:41,824 Dude, are you lactating? 1969 01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:45,911 I'm just doing what my body tells me to do, okay? 1970 01:24:46,123 --> 01:24:48,034 Okay, Thorn. You're the tits! 1971 01:24:48,208 --> 01:24:49,728 Good luck with the wet T-shirt contest. 1972 01:25:05,684 --> 01:25:06,845 Men. 1973 01:25:09,438 --> 01:25:10,438 How you feelin? 1974 01:25:10,606 --> 01:25:11,606 Oh, it's okay. 1975 01:25:12,441 --> 01:25:14,853 I'm so sorry about saying "I hate you" back there. 1976 01:25:15,027 --> 01:25:17,064 Yeah. I know. I'm sorry I lied. 1977 01:25:17,237 --> 01:25:18,597 I just can't believe I didn't know. 1978 01:25:18,739 --> 01:25:21,356 Well, you were very sweet, but also very gullible. 1979 01:25:27,456 --> 01:25:29,197 Maybe you and I could get together 1980 01:25:29,291 --> 01:25:31,453 and listen to some old-timey French music... 1981 01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:33,996 when that gets all healed up. 1982 01:25:34,171 --> 01:25:35,206 Yeah, sure. 1983 01:25:39,092 --> 01:25:40,253 Fuckin' Canadian. 1984 01:25:43,805 --> 01:25:45,216 Give me 50 cc's of morphine, 1985 01:25:45,307 --> 01:25:47,187 - shaving cream and a razor. - A razor for what? 1986 01:25:47,309 --> 01:25:49,656 To remove the hair from your testicles. I have to stitch you up. 1987 01:25:49,686 --> 01:25:51,575 What? No. Why would you need to stitch me up? 1988 01:25:51,605 --> 01:25:52,640 It's like a paper cut. 1989 01:25:52,731 --> 01:25:54,578 All we need to do is get a little Band-Aid. Hey, guys! 1990 01:25:54,608 --> 01:25:55,996 - Happy trails! - Guys? 1991 01:25:56,026 --> 01:25:58,814 Looks like the rook is getting his nuts shaved after all. 1992 01:26:05,160 --> 01:26:07,242 - Who wants coffee? - Sounds good. 1993 01:26:14,002 --> 01:26:15,288 Captain O'Hagan! 1994 01:26:16,922 --> 01:26:19,755 I hear you and your men did some good work. 1995 01:26:19,925 --> 01:26:22,383 We did. We caught the smugglers. 1996 01:26:22,469 --> 01:26:23,504 Again. 1997 01:26:26,807 --> 01:26:28,138 What the hell was that? 1998 01:26:29,017 --> 01:26:30,257 Oh, shit. 1999 01:26:33,271 --> 01:26:34,887 Done and done. 2000 01:26:36,692 --> 01:26:39,559 This little piggy cried, "God damn! That hurt!" 2001 01:26:40,737 --> 01:26:42,273 What the hell happened to you? 2002 01:26:42,364 --> 01:26:44,150 Ah. I just lost a pussy bet. 2003 01:26:44,324 --> 01:26:45,814 If "toed" ya, I'd have to kill ya. 2004 01:26:45,909 --> 01:26:47,115 On! 2005 01:26:47,202 --> 01:26:48,909 Watch the hoof! Ow! Watch the hoof! 2006 01:26:50,497 --> 01:26:53,364 Officers! Cassandra Anne Gacek, Action Five News. 2007 01:26:53,542 --> 01:26:55,328 Given your involvement with this bust 2008 01:26:55,419 --> 01:26:58,252 how does it feel to know that you are still being replaced? 2009 01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:04,375 You know, when they first arrive, lam wondering: 2010 01:27:04,678 --> 01:27:06,009 Who are these people? 2011 01:27:06,096 --> 01:27:07,803 They come here, taked our land? 2012 01:27:08,348 --> 01:27:10,965 But then I have it, my answer, huh. 2013 01:27:13,687 --> 01:27:16,179 They are heroes. 2014 01:27:16,273 --> 01:27:17,684 Aw! 2015 01:27:17,774 --> 01:27:21,984 These men, they puted their life on the line for us. 2016 01:27:22,154 --> 01:27:25,442 One of them, he even saved my life. 2017 01:27:25,615 --> 01:27:28,903 This tan guy here with the wet tits. 2018 01:27:30,162 --> 01:27:31,243 But we hate Americans! 2019 01:27:31,329 --> 01:27:34,196 I hear you. I hear you. But I have to tell you, 2020 01:27:34,374 --> 01:27:36,240 if these gentlemen are an example 2021 01:27:36,334 --> 01:27:37,824 of what it means to be American-- 2022 01:27:39,087 --> 01:27:42,000 okay-- then I am proud to be an American too. 2023 01:27:42,174 --> 01:27:44,336 - All right. - I am. I'm proud to be American. 2024 01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:47,297 So, we're leaving to start our station up north, 2025 01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:50,110 but I say with great confidence that we couldn't leave you in better hands 2026 01:27:50,140 --> 01:27:52,848 than in those of the Vermont Highway Patrol. 2027 01:27:58,440 --> 01:28:00,920 How does it feel to be the coolest motherfucker on this planet? 2028 01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:03,434 You tell me, buddy. You tell me. 2029 01:28:04,321 --> 01:28:06,688 Aw. 2030 01:28:07,491 --> 01:28:09,607 Uh, yeah. Excuse me. 2031 01:28:10,035 --> 01:28:11,070 Hold on. 2032 01:28:12,454 --> 01:28:14,491 Actually, I'm here to tell you 2033 01:28:14,664 --> 01:28:16,701 that the U.S. and Canadian governments 2034 01:28:16,792 --> 01:28:18,908 have decided to postpone the turnover 2035 01:28:19,085 --> 01:28:22,043 until the rest of the hidden contraband is found. 2036 01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:24,246 So, wait. 2037 01:28:24,424 --> 01:28:26,916 Are we Canadians or are we Americans? 2038 01:28:27,093 --> 01:28:29,460 You're still Canadians for now. 2039 01:28:29,638 --> 01:28:32,801 And that's going to continue indefinitely. 2040 01:28:32,974 --> 01:28:34,054 Sorry. 2041 01:28:38,313 --> 01:28:41,681 Okay, so we are now in control of this area again, eh? 2042 01:28:41,858 --> 01:28:43,895 No, no. We both have authority. 2043 01:28:44,069 --> 01:28:45,434 You got the authority to go take 2044 01:28:45,529 --> 01:28:46,929 a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. 2045 01:28:47,072 --> 01:28:48,992 Hey, we just saved your lives, you remember that? 2046 01:28:49,115 --> 01:28:50,629 We have an expression here. 2047 01:28:50,659 --> 01:28:52,696 It go, "What have you done for me lately?" 2048 01:28:52,869 --> 01:28:54,109 Yeah, maybe we'll haul your ass 2049 01:28:54,162 --> 01:28:55,282 back out to the woods naked. 2050 01:28:55,330 --> 01:28:58,243 Or maybe we could burned down your White House again! Eh? 2051 01:28:58,416 --> 01:28:59,656 What the hell does that mean? 2052 01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,452 The War of 1812, eh. Learn your history. 2053 01:29:06,132 --> 01:29:08,749 Oh! You punched the mustache right off his face! 2054 01:29:08,927 --> 01:29:11,464 No! Look, he's wearing a postiche, eh! 2055 01:29:13,723 --> 01:29:16,636 You shut up about his postiche! Come on! 2056 01:29:18,520 --> 01:29:21,103 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2057 01:29:21,189 --> 01:29:24,807 ♪ Yeah, she was blinded by the light ♪ 2058 01:29:25,610 --> 01:29:27,271 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2059 01:29:27,362 --> 01:29:29,399 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2060 01:29:29,489 --> 01:29:32,026 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2061 01:29:32,784 --> 01:29:34,400 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2062 01:29:34,494 --> 01:29:36,485 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2063 01:29:36,580 --> 01:29:39,288 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2064 01:29:39,916 --> 01:29:41,202 ♪ Revved up like a deu... ♪ 2065 01:29:45,797 --> 01:29:46,797 What do you got? 2066 01:29:47,674 --> 01:29:48,674 Cat in a tree. 2067 01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:51,041 Ah, yeah. 2068 01:29:51,845 --> 01:29:52,845 Hey, Fred Savage. 2069 01:29:53,096 --> 01:29:54,552 - How's it going? - Maclntyre Womack. 2070 01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:56,676 - Oh, pleasure to meet you, Officer. - Carl Foster. 2071 01:29:56,766 --> 01:29:58,697 - Nice to meet you. Fred. - So, what's with the ride-along? 2072 01:29:58,727 --> 01:29:59,823 You got a cop movie coming out? 2073 01:29:59,853 --> 01:30:02,185 Uh, no, it's actually a new show for the Syfy Channel. 2074 01:30:02,272 --> 01:30:05,560 A small-town alien invasion show called Vermonsters. 2075 01:30:05,692 --> 01:30:07,103 - Oh! - I'd see that. 2076 01:30:07,193 --> 01:30:08,593 So, do you guys spend a lot of time 2077 01:30:08,653 --> 01:30:10,109 getting, um, cats out of trees? 2078 01:30:10,196 --> 01:30:11,857 Is that-- is that kinda the job? 2079 01:30:11,948 --> 01:30:14,129 Nah, nah, we get the call and then we call the Fire Department. 2080 01:30:14,159 --> 01:30:15,695 - They get the damn thing out. - Oh. 2081 01:30:15,785 --> 01:30:18,026 Could I actually trouble you for a quick selfie? 2082 01:30:18,121 --> 01:30:20,658 I'm a big Princess Bride fan. 2083 01:30:20,832 --> 01:30:21,913 Yes. My pleasure. 2084 01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:23,430 It was my "get laid movie" in high school. 2085 01:30:23,460 --> 01:30:24,871 Oh! You're welcome. 2086 01:30:24,961 --> 01:30:26,683 Buttercup! 2087 01:30:26,713 --> 01:30:27,874 Holy shit! 2088 01:30:28,506 --> 01:30:30,042 Fred fuckin' Savage, huh? 2089 01:30:30,216 --> 01:30:32,022 - Uh, yes. That's me. - He's right here! Look at him! 2090 01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:33,052 Yeah, we know. 2091 01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:34,634 You still with Winnie? 2092 01:30:34,804 --> 01:30:36,761 Uh, no, no. Just a show, man. 2093 01:30:36,932 --> 01:30:38,923 - I call sloppy seconds! - Okay, great. 2094 01:30:39,017 --> 01:30:40,822 I think I'm gonna get the cat. I'm gonna get the cat. 2095 01:30:40,852 --> 01:30:42,115 Mr. Savage, we can't let you do that 2096 01:30:42,145 --> 01:30:44,326 because, you know, well, we're responsible for your safety. 2097 01:30:44,356 --> 01:30:45,994 Don't worry about it. I'm an expert climber. 2098 01:30:46,024 --> 01:30:47,355 Remember the movie Super Monkey? 2099 01:30:47,734 --> 01:30:50,226 - Yeah. - I did all my own stunts in that movie. 2100 01:30:50,320 --> 01:30:51,355 I'm good with the trees. 2101 01:30:51,446 --> 01:30:52,446 Okay. 2102 01:30:53,698 --> 01:30:54,698 Look at him go. 2103 01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:56,235 Wow. 2104 01:30:56,409 --> 01:30:58,696 I can see it! I got the cat. 2105 01:30:58,870 --> 01:31:00,201 Take it easy, Mr. Savage. 2106 01:31:00,372 --> 01:31:02,079 I thought Super Monkey sucked. 2107 01:31:02,248 --> 01:31:03,928 Yeah. And the monkeys were so fuckin' fake. 2108 01:31:04,084 --> 01:31:06,121 A.O. Scott said the plot was bananas. 2109 01:31:06,294 --> 01:31:07,750 You know, I can hear you guys. 2110 01:31:07,921 --> 01:31:09,434 All right, you should try acting in a movie 2111 01:31:09,464 --> 01:31:11,375 and doing your own stunts. It's really hard! 2112 01:31:11,466 --> 01:31:13,480 - Sure. - All right, don't be dicks. 2113 01:31:20,517 --> 01:31:21,723 Woo! 2114 01:31:23,311 --> 01:31:24,472 Did you see that shit?! 2115 01:31:25,647 --> 01:31:27,433 Any of you motherfuckers want some pussy? 2116 01:31:27,607 --> 01:31:29,223 What's up? Whoo! 2117 01:31:52,757 --> 01:31:54,748 ♪ Madman drummers bummers ♪ 2118 01:31:54,843 --> 01:31:56,083 ♪ Indians in the summer ♪ 2119 01:31:56,177 --> 01:31:58,509 ♪ With a teenage diplomat' ♪ 2120 01:31:59,431 --> 01:32:01,422 ♪ In the dumps with the mumps ♪ 2121 01:32:01,516 --> 01:32:03,177 ♪ As the adolescent pumps ♪ 2122 01:32:03,268 --> 01:32:05,726 ♪ His way into his hat ♪ 2123 01:32:06,479 --> 01:32:08,390 ♪ With a boulder on my shoulder' ♪ 2124 01:32:08,481 --> 01:32:10,222 ♪ Feelin' kinda older ♪ 2125 01:32:10,316 --> 01:32:13,274 ♪ I tripped the merry-go-round ♪ 2126 01:32:13,361 --> 01:32:15,477 ♪ With this very unpleasin' ♪ 2127 01:32:15,572 --> 01:32:17,279 ♪ Sneezin' and wheezin' ♪ 2128 01:32:17,365 --> 01:32:20,357 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2129 01:32:30,879 --> 01:32:34,042 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2130 01:32:34,132 --> 01:32:37,796 ♪ Yeah, she was blinded by the light ♪ 2131 01:32:38,428 --> 01:32:40,010 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2132 01:32:40,096 --> 01:32:42,258 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2133 01:32:42,348 --> 01:32:44,715 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2134 01:32:45,435 --> 01:32:47,176 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2135 01:32:47,270 --> 01:32:49,227 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2136 01:32:49,314 --> 01:32:51,726 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2137 01:32:52,650 --> 01:32:54,357 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2138 01:32:54,444 --> 01:32:56,401 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2139 01:32:56,488 --> 01:32:59,071 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2140 01:33:03,244 --> 01:33:05,155 ♪ Some silicone sister ♪ 2141 01:33:05,246 --> 01:33:07,203 ♪ With a manager mister ♪ 2142 01:33:07,290 --> 01:33:09,622 ♪ Told me I got what it takes ♪ 2143 01:33:10,126 --> 01:33:13,869 "♪ She said," I'll turn you on, sonny, to something strong ♪ 2144 01:33:13,963 --> 01:33:16,546 ♪ Play the song with the funky breaks" ♪ 2145 01:33:17,258 --> 01:33:19,124 ♪ And go-cart Mozart ♪ 2146 01:33:19,219 --> 01:33:21,210 ♪ Was checkin' out the weather chart ♪ 2147 01:33:21,304 --> 01:33:23,966 ♪ See if it was safe outside ♪ 2148 01:33:24,057 --> 01:33:26,139 ♪ And little early-pearly ♪ 2149 01:33:26,226 --> 01:33:27,967 ♪ Came by in his curly-wurly ♪ 2150 01:33:28,061 --> 01:33:31,099 ♪ And asked me if I needed a ride ♪ 2151 01:33:41,825 --> 01:33:44,658 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2152 01:33:44,744 --> 01:33:48,078 ♪ She was blinded by the light ♪ 2153 01:33:48,998 --> 01:33:50,614 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2154 01:33:50,708 --> 01:33:52,665 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2155 01:33:52,752 --> 01:33:55,244 ♪ Blinded by the light... ♪ 2156 01:34:02,053 --> 01:34:04,067 You wanna reach for your ticket book. 2157 01:34:04,097 --> 01:34:05,212 I got ya. Okay. 2158 01:34:05,306 --> 01:34:07,593 'Scuse me. Sorry. Sorry. 2159 01:34:10,228 --> 01:34:12,094 Don't worry about it. Hold that for me. 2160 01:34:12,188 --> 01:34:13,284 - Here we go. Ready? - Yeah. 2161 01:34:15,859 --> 01:34:17,299 Ready? Okay. Okay. 2162 01:34:24,450 --> 01:34:27,033 Ooh! 2163 01:34:27,120 --> 01:34:28,986 I can't believe it's a crime down in the U.S. 2164 01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:31,117 to drink beer and enjoy tits and dick. 2165 01:34:31,291 --> 01:34:34,329 I mean, beep beep! There's no harm there. 2166 01:34:34,502 --> 01:34:36,743 I mean, aooga! There's no harm there. 2167 01:34:36,838 --> 01:34:39,125 It's a good workout, eh. 2168 01:34:41,217 --> 01:34:42,617 Cut. I could do that all night. 2169 01:34:42,719 --> 01:34:44,301 I know-- 2170 01:34:44,679 --> 01:34:46,261 And action! 2171 01:34:46,890 --> 01:34:48,380 Oh! 2172 01:34:48,474 --> 01:34:50,010 That's how easy it is. 2173 01:34:50,894 --> 01:34:52,726 Oh! Jesus Christ. Motherfucker. 2174 01:34:53,354 --> 01:34:55,391 What do we got, till lunch? We got till lunch? 2175 01:34:55,565 --> 01:34:56,619 Action. 2176 01:34:56,649 --> 01:34:57,730 'Oh! 2177 01:34:57,817 --> 01:35:01,105 Which one of you guys has a Le-- a Le seniority? 2178 01:35:07,202 --> 01:35:08,943 You got to blow those cheeks up. 2179 01:35:09,120 --> 01:35:10,120 Okay. 2180 01:35:11,331 --> 01:35:13,993 I think I have some of your mustache in my mouth. 2181 01:35:14,542 --> 01:35:15,542 Where's your asshole? 2182 01:35:15,710 --> 01:35:17,621 It's right about-- right there. 2183 01:35:18,296 --> 01:35:19,457 Just follow the heat. 2184 01:35:20,215 --> 01:35:22,798 First you steal our job and now you sit here 2185 01:35:22,884 --> 01:35:24,625 getting a sensual massage from a chair 2186 01:35:24,802 --> 01:35:27,544 in the center of the mall with our women. 2187 01:35:28,598 --> 01:35:30,635 Can you shorten that? 2188 01:35:31,267 --> 01:35:33,008 No, that's the only way I can say it. 2189 01:35:33,394 --> 01:35:35,385 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jeez Louise. 2190 01:35:35,772 --> 01:35:37,888 Now I know who gobbled up all my Lava Scotia. 2191 01:35:38,066 --> 01:35:39,101 Uh, Flova Scotia. 2192 01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:41,642 Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia. 2193 01:35:41,819 --> 01:35:43,666 - Uh, Flo, uh, Flova. - Flova. God damn it. 2194 01:35:43,696 --> 01:35:44,696 All my Flava Scotia. 2195 01:35:44,864 --> 01:35:46,980 - All my Flava Scotia. - Flova. 2196 01:35:47,158 --> 01:35:48,819 I'm gonna get it. Nova. Flova. 2197 01:35:48,993 --> 01:35:51,485 Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia. 2198 01:35:51,955 --> 01:35:53,821 - Close? - No. Not really. 2199 01:35:56,417 --> 01:35:58,328 What about this?! What about this, huh?! 2200 01:35:58,419 --> 01:35:59,830 Didn't we do that to like 2201 01:35:59,921 --> 01:36:01,503 a skinny blond guy with a big forehead? 2202 01:36:01,673 --> 01:36:02,708 Smelled like bacon? 2203 01:36:02,799 --> 01:36:04,164 Always yakking about Hot Pockets? 2204 01:36:04,342 --> 01:36:05,423 That was me. 2205 01:36:05,593 --> 01:36:07,675 You asked if I saw you 2206 01:36:07,762 --> 01:36:09,969 jumping around all mimbly dimbly-- 2207 01:36:10,265 --> 01:36:11,676 You asked if I saw you 2208 01:36:11,766 --> 01:36:14,349 jumping around all nimby, Ni-- 2209 01:36:14,560 --> 01:36:16,426 All nibbily-bimbly. 2210 01:36:16,646 --> 01:36:18,307 Sorry, what-- it's nimbly-bimbly. 2211 01:36:18,481 --> 01:36:20,438 Come on, Gaffigan! 2212 01:36:21,401 --> 01:36:23,893 Idiot. 2213 01:36:29,200 --> 01:36:31,407 Eh, that's a little much. 2214 01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:33,906 - This one says "Tiger Penis." - Suck it! 2215 01:36:34,080 --> 01:36:36,367 - Shut up, Farva. - Sorry. It's just funny. 2216 01:36:36,666 --> 01:36:39,784 Eh... eh... what the-- eh... uh... 2217 01:36:39,877 --> 01:36:41,224 What the shit, Guy? 2218 01:36:41,254 --> 01:36:42,642 Why you tell us they are the smuggler-- 2219 01:36:42,672 --> 01:36:44,538 Sorry, I'm sorry. 2220 01:36:45,675 --> 01:36:47,666 Uh... eh... 2221 01:36:48,636 --> 01:36:51,025 All right. All right. hey, hey, here we go. Here we go. 2222 01:36:51,055 --> 01:36:52,575 - Just gotta find it. - Yeah, I got it. 2223 01:36:53,016 --> 01:36:54,256 Uh... 2224 01:36:57,895 --> 01:36:59,886 Uh... eh... 2225 01:37:00,898 --> 01:37:03,139 Sorry. I'm totally-- okay, Okay. 2226 01:37:03,484 --> 01:37:04,519 Hey, cut it. 2227 01:37:09,032 --> 01:37:12,241 ♪ She got down but she never got tight ♪ 2228 01:37:12,327 --> 01:37:15,069 ♪ She's gonna make it ♪ 2229 01:37:16,080 --> 01:37:19,664 ♪ Through the night ♪ 2230 01:37:35,099 --> 01:37:36,385 ♪ What a drag ♪ 2231 01:37:38,186 --> 01:37:40,052 ♪ Sitting here at home ♪ 2232 01:37:40,855 --> 01:37:42,596 ♪ Saturday night ♪ 2233 01:37:43,983 --> 01:37:45,724 ♪ And I'm alone ♪ 2234 01:37:46,903 --> 01:37:49,190 ♪ Staring at my phone ♪ 2235 01:37:49,280 --> 01:37:50,987 ♪ Trying to make it ring ♪ 2236 01:37:51,407 --> 01:37:52,943 ♪ Wish I had a friend ♪ 2237 01:37:54,452 --> 01:37:56,489 ♪ I could tell my troubles to ♪ 2238 01:37:59,540 --> 01:38:01,156 ♪ My truck' ♪ 2239 01:38:02,460 --> 01:38:04,326 ♪ ls running pretty rough ♪ 2240 01:38:05,380 --> 01:38:06,962 ♪ it don't matter much ♪ 2241 01:38:08,299 --> 01:38:10,381 ♪ I'm outta gas' ♪ 2242 01:38:11,427 --> 01:38:15,546 ♪ If! had a tank, I'd take a ride ♪ 2243 01:38:15,640 --> 01:38:17,347 ♪ But I don't know where to ♪ 2244 01:38:19,018 --> 01:38:20,804 ♪ My Saturday night ♪ 2245 01:38:33,032 --> 01:38:34,522 ♪ Saturday night ♪ 2246 01:38:46,546 --> 01:38:47,957 ♪ Saturday night ♪ 2247 01:39:28,004 --> 01:39:29,244 Mm-mm. 163151