All language subtitles for The.Last.Laugh.2016.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-monkee

ITALIAN MUSIC

WIND BLOWING

You have some coffee?

Yeah I thought we’d just have
a quick bite before we leave,

but this place is so filthy

I don’t want to
lay anything down

I brought a little bit
of goodies for us.

for us but my hands
are not that clean

- That's okay
- So if you want the napkin.

- I don't need it.
-

- So use this napkin, okay?

Auschwitz wasn't
cleaner than this!

I knew you'd say that.

Two Jews have been sent
to assassinate Hitler…

This is during the war.

They've gotten some
intelligence

as to where Hitler might be…

They’re standing
outside his home…

They're hiding, they’re waiting
for Hitler. Eight o'clock comes,

go no Hitler.

An hour goes by,
he's not home yet…

Where’s Hitler?

Then another two hours go
by, he’s not home yet…

Now it's 8:30 and he
still doesn't show up,

and one Jew turns to
the other and says:

Gee, I hope nothing
happened to him!

So what is this supposed to be?
Crossing lines?

Being in bad taste?

So should I start
the interview with…

Heil Hitler! Is that good?

OK. I mean it’s uh…it’s

part and parcel, it’s
in keeping, right?

Stalin is nicer, right?
It’s easier…

But this is the guy who made
me money, so I stick with him.

The thing about

a joke about

the Holocaust,

AIDS, the AIDS crisis,

9/11

it's all about the funny.
It's got to be funny.

You can't tell a
crappy joke

about the biggest tragedy in
the world. You can't do it.

Comedy puts light onto darkness,

and darkness can't live
where there's light.

So that's why it's important to
talk about things

that are taboo, because

otherwise they just
stay in this dark

place and they become

dangerous.

I don't have a
philosophy about it.

I just know that it's much more
fun to laugh than not to laugh.

You have to have a
sense of humor.

If you don’t have
a sense of humor,

just go to your grave.

Or get cremated or something.

The Holocaust itself
is not funny.

There’s nothing funny about it.

But

survival,

and what it takes to survive,

there can be humor in that.

One day, the doctor arrives

and who is it, it’s
Dr. Mengele.

And we have to get undressed,
he's going to check us,

and we were wondering, why
are they checking us?

What is the doctor checking?

I mean that was itself funny.

But I come in front of him

and he

he puts his hand on my shoulder

and he says to me in German,

“Genug Speck noch”

“There is still enough fat.”

And then he says to me,

“If you survive this war,” he
says,

“you better have your tonsils
removed,

you have big tonsils.”

So, you know, I was
thinking “Is he insane?

Tomorrow I may die,
I'm worried about my tonsils?”

But when I
came back,

when I survived and came
back, and I thought about

what he said, it was
funny!

I was thinking that
I’ll make matzo brei.

How many eggs do you need?

Why don’t you get four.

Most people don't expect
survivors to have much humor

after the Holocaust, and that's
really not the case at all.

The survivors
actually have

some of the worst gallows
humor ever.

And I guess that they're the
only ones allowed to do that!

I remember the story
that you told me,

they would make parties
in their head.

There was no food so they would
invent the food in their head…

- Oh, we cooked a lot!
- They cooked a lot!

And so, I mean, the absurdity of
some of this stuff is humorous.

So they're making parties
and they're talking about

the recipes for it, andand my
recipe is better than

your recipe…

I mean this is an absurdity but
it’s certainly humorous.

And were you laughing when
you were doing it, at times?

No, we were not laughing, but
the last sentence always was,

“Now you know this will
never happen.”

MUSIC

235. Ghetto diary,
October 29, 1941.

Every day at the Art
Café on Leszno Street

one can hear songs and
satires about the police,

and even the Gestapo.

The Typhus epidemic itself
is the subject of jokes.

Typhus is a subject of jokes!

It is laughter through
tears, but it is laughter.

This is our only
weapon in the ghetto.

The only weapon in the ghetto.
Laugh at the death.

Humor is the only thing the
Nazis cannot understand.

And that’s the only thing the
Nazis cannot understand,

humor.

Humor is the only thing
they don’t understand.

They don’t understand
life either.

Humor is a way of dealing
with an unbearable reality.

It’s a way of protesting,

it’s a way of keeping
your dignity

when you have to do things
that you don’t want to do.

So if you do them and you keep
your humor it’s like

saying, you know,

I’m still human.

(Singing in Yiddish/French)
“Bei mir bistu shein…”

Ce la signifie, vous etes
pour moi plus que la vie

That's all you ar going to hear.

I met Robert Clary…

I spoke a little French, so
he was very happy

because he wasn’t that
proficient in English

in 1952. He was getting
better.

And now he speaks it as
if he really knows it.

Robert Clary was in the camps,

and he would
entertain in the camps,

and the entertainment
saved his life.

That was second nature with me.
Singing, dancing,

clowning around.

And that helped me

tremendously when
I was deported.

Because automatically

when I went—even the
first camp—

camp—I started to sing for
the people who were there,

the prisoners.

People are constant.

Consistent.

And if you
were funny

before, you’ll be funny during,
and you’ll be funny after.

I was 16 years old when I was
arrested and sent to the camp.

I was too young to really
realize what the situation was.

I was deported with a big
amount of my family,

my mother, my father, an uncle,

a sister with her husband
and two kids.

They all went to
the gas chambers.

Out of thirteen of
my immediate family

I’m the only one who came back.

TRUMPET PLAYING

For the ten minutes
that I worked,

or fifteen minutes that I sang,

they forgot where they
were, and that was

the most important thing.

And that’s what
helped me stay alive.

Now the first camp,
when we entertained,

the SS, they didn’t come.

We only entertained for
the inmates.

But the second camp, why
the SS came to see us,

all I can deduct then is they

they had such a terrible life
hitting us and killing us

that they wanted to
be entertained too.

SINGING IN GERMAN

The camps, in certain
cases, had a cabaret.

But they would never
put on anything

that mentioned gas chambers,

or the mass murder squads

It was subversive by nature,

but you had to be
careful how you did it

so the SS guards who came

would not understand that they

were the ones being
spoken about.

It’s the kind of humor
that will make you cry.

Really the underpinning
was sadness.

I was in the cabaret and it
was very funny, very witty.

Of course people were laughing!

People were laughing and talking
about it the next morning,

and “How did you like it?”
and so and so. Of course,

we

imagined that we lived
in a normal time.

SINGING

There was a song which we
adopted as our anthem.

It went something like, “Let’s
join hands, we shall overcome /

When the tyranny
ends,

we shall all dance

on the ruins of
Terezin.”

Well, sadly very few

would have
been able to do so.

What did you do all morning?
- What did I do all morning?

I don’t know, I just
talked my head off.

You did? Did you talk about
how funny the camps were?

Oh God yes. I said
it was hilarious!

From the moment we put
our feet on the ground!

We were laughing. We
never stopped laughing.

We woke up in the
morning at three,

even when they made us walk…

Even when they made us walk
in the middle of the night,

we laughed and said “Ha, ha,
ha, ha!

You’ll get your day!”

DRUM BEATS

Let’s talk about the television
show you used to do.

What television show?

About the concentration camp.
- What concentration camp?

Who walked into a
producer’s office

and said, “Here’s the idea:

a group of soldiers in a Nazi
prison camp. It’s a comedy!”

You think that “Hogan’s Heroes”
was about a concentration camp?

It was about a camp.

There were no Jews in there.
I didn’t play a Jewish kid.

No, there were no Jews in it,
but there were Nazis in it.

- Potato soup?
- Thank you.

“Hogan’s Heroes” was about
prisoners of war in a stalag.

It was not about genocide,

it was not Jews going
to the gas chambers.

No, of course not! We knew that!
That’s why it was so funny!

No, but a lot of
people always ask me,

“How could you have
done ‘Hogan’s Heroes’

after what you went though?”

ROBERT CLARY SINGING IN FRENCH

- How did it end?
- We all died!

Now, when you’re gonna die,

are you going to
be in a Jewish cemetery?

Are you going to be
buried?

- Next to my husband, I have
a place next to my husband.

Not me. I’m not going
next to my wife.

- So where are you going?

In the ocean. Even
though I’m a Pisces and

I
don’t know how to swim….

NO! You’re not going
to be cremated.

- Yes I am.
- No you’re not.

Don’t tell me what
to do with my life.

Now, you see… I cannot imagine
a Jew to be cremated.

Now are you going to
stop talking to me?

You want to try my soup?

Here, try my soup, maybe
you’ll change your mind.

I... I... Yes, absolutely. You
know what I said to Rabbi Hier?

Once, we were
talking about that,

I say... uh...

“I’m going to be cremated,” he
said, “You cannot do that.”

So I said, “What
about my parents?”

And that

cut him down.

I’m going to be
cremated and then

the fish are going to eat me.

They’re going to say, “Mmm, what
wonderful French food yum, yum!”

Little do they know I
have Polish blood in me!

We’re gonna hitchhike
up to the Catskills

We call the Highway Route 17…

We’re going to hitchhike
up to the mountains

Up to the finest resorts
we have ever seen.

When I was a kid
in the mountains,

I would
do

SHOUTING IN MOCK GERMAN

and I would get a lot
of laughs

with Hitler.

And a few Jews, after
the show, would say:

“You know, that’s not
in such good taste.”

You know

And I’d say

“I don’t care.

I really don’t give a shit

what’s in good taste.”

No comedian

ever

in the Catskills

would come and tell jokes
about the Holocaust.

They would

string this guy up.

You know what I was
careful about, honestly?

I would do this a lot

but I wouldn’t
wear

the swastika.

Not for a while,

not till I did The Producers.

Humor healed us,

especially in the Catskills.

We would go

and my mother would laugh like
I had never seen her laugh.

There was a
release,

because you know… it was like a
kind of community

where they felt safe,

and they weren’t “the Other.”

I started writing jokes
for stand-up comedians

who played in the
Catskill Mountains.

I was 21,

they were like 50,

55.

I was a generation
removed from that.

Jokes about your
wives in those days,

“Terrible! Did you hear
about the man in room 302,

he came back and found his best
friend in bed with his wife.

He said, ‘Morris, I
have to, but you?’”

I would write

some jokes for them,

how my uncle was an all
year-round camper—at Auschwitz.

Okay.

And they would
laugh in the car,

or the band would laugh,

but there’s not a
chance in hell

that you could tell
that to an audience.

I was very brave then.

Maybe I’m not so brave now, but

I was very brave then, because

it was in questionable taste

in 1948

when I worked in the…
Right?

Two years or three years
after the end of the war,

to be doing uh

Hitler bits.

Time makes a difference.

Obviously no one cares if
you make Inquisition jokes.

The Inquistion, let's begin

The Inquistion, look out sin

We have a mission

to convert the Jews

Had I done

“The Inquisition”
as a movie in 1492,

I would’ve been in
a lot of trouble.

But enough time had gone by…

Confess

Don’t be boring…

Five centuries had gone by,

and so

it was okay.

It’s better to lose
your skullcap than your skull

Oy gevalt!

Somebody once said,

“Tragedy plus time
equals comedy.”

And I always felt
like why wait?

Steve Allen, Lenny Bruce,
I’ve seen all kinds of people

given credit for
that comment.

I don’t know that that’s
necessarily true,

and I don’t know what
that time limit is.

I don’t know…
It's...

Time opens up
different avenues of

of thought and acceptance.

MUSIC

Danke schoen,

darling, danke schoen

Thank you for

all the joy and pain

Picture shows,

second balcony

was the place
we'd meet

Second seat,

go Dutch treat,

you were sweet

Danke schoen,
darling, danke schoen

Thank you for seeing me again

Though we go on
our separate ways

Shabbat Shalom everybody.

Welcome Renee,

haven’t seen you for a while
I’m glad you’re finally here.

Thank you.

And now I have the honor and the
pleasure of introducing you to

Deb Filler

Shalom aleikhem!
My name is Deb Filler,

and my father was a
survivor of the Holocaust,

the Shoah.

Dad always felt isolated,
being in New Zealand.

So one of the things
that he used to do was

turn on the TV and say,

“That’s Barbara
Eden, she’s Jewish.

And that’s Captain Spock,

the guy with the pointy
ears, he’s Jewish.

And that’s Cat
Stevens, he’s Jewish.”

And I’d say “Dad,

Cat Stevens? What are
you talking about,

he’s not Jewish.”

He’d say “Yeah,
sure he’s Jewish.

His name was probably Steven
Katz and he switched it.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Anyway, so my father,

he would always like to change
everything into Yiddish.

So, what about

SINGING
No maidel, no kvetch

Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not
going to do that.

Gerhardt, you said you saw it in
the camps— my father saw it too

that there was a
possibility

in the camps to make a joke

or a sketch or a laugh.
Is it possible that it’s

There were people that were

naturally humorous,

the way they behaved.

Like, when the SS guard
came, the Kapo carried on

you should’ve heard him,

like, the next minute he
was going to murder us all.

And when the SS
guard left,

“Go ahead!” he said,
“do what you want!”

We were laughing.

We were all
miserable,

but

without humor I don’t think

we would have survived.

Sorry, I didn’t find
any humor

at all,

just sadness

and tragedy.

I don’t know what’s funny about
anything about the Holocaust.

I was

a child survivor,

so I didn’t suffer like some
of the older people here

uhm

It’s hard for me to understand
how they could see the

humor in the Holocaust?

Or do you mean after
the Holocaust?

There were funny incidents
that happened after,

I can tell you a whole
bunch of those.

But uh, during
the time you were

deprived of a normal
human life?

Boy!

I can’t even imagine that.

SINGING
Volare,

oh oh… wha dooba dooba doobab

Cantare, oh oh…

Volare,

oh oh…

Cantare,

oh oh oh…

Did you enjoy that?

Uh… I like to hear the song,

but I could not enjoy it.

Why not? With an Italian
singing a beautiful song?

Because I remember for so many

youngsters

who were perished and they

cannot enjoy this
beautiful place.

But, you know… you survived!

You’re alive!

How can you not have
pleasure out of the fact

that you survived?

Always I remember

the children screaming
the selection

You know, that

is like in our
shadow.

You cannot forget! You cannot

No, no, no no!

You cannot live in the
shadow of those cries.

You have to remember it.

But you cannot live
in those shadows!

I don’t live in the shadow,

but the shadow is following
me all of my life.

You know I speak about the
Holocaust all the time,

but I enjoy life.

I’m so

happy that I have three
great grandchildren.

Could Hitler
imagine

that I will survive and have
three great-grandchildren?

I mean, that’s my
revenge.

We’ve struck gold!

Kiss it, kiss it. KISSING SOUND

You found a flop.

A flop? That’s
putting it mildly.

We found a disaster,
a catastrophe,

an outrage, a guaranteed to
close in one night beauty.

Let’s see it!

- There’s no subtleties

when it comes to the Holocaust.

The deeper you go

with the humor,
the more

revengeful it is.

He’s wearing a German helmet.

Shhh! Don’t say
anything to offend him!

Mel Brooks talked about it.

Revenge through
ridicule.

I’m not responsible, I
only followed orders!

- So by making these jokes,

it’s the Jewish way of

EXHALES SHARPTLY

getting through it.

You know, Mel Brooks always
said about The Producers, that

he was ridiculing

by ridiculing the Nazis he
was taking away their power.

The Producers was

scandalous.

It was called “Springtime
for Hitler,”

and Joe
Levine said,

“I can’t put that
on the marquee,

I can’t sell it.”

PIANO
- Thank You.

“Springtime for Hitler?”

So early after the war?

“Hitler” Auditions

Nazis dancing?

“Hitler” Auditions

I got a lot of mail,

from Jews
mostly.

How could you do this?

How could we
see Hitler,

how could you show the
swastika, how could you…?

SINGING Springtime for
Hitler and Germany…

Springtime for Hitler!

My God!

The audience
was like…

That’s pretty much what I
think a lot of people thought

at the time.

It was a lot of people
going

SINGING
...faster pace.

...look out here comes
the Master race...

But then after a while
you get the joke,

you understand what’s
funny about it.

When 'The Producers' was
a movie,

it was daring.

Goosestep’s the new step today…

The whole essence of the
joke of The Producers was,

how could you possibly think

that a musical about Hitler

was acceptable?

That was the whole

McGuffin of the picture.

By the time it gets to Broadway,

a movie about a spectacular
Broadway failure

because it was in such bad
taste becomes a Broadway hit

because it’s not in
bad taste anymore!

- Well,

talk about bad taste!

SINGING

The passage of time alone

has made it so kind
of, almost

sweet!

People sing along with
“Springtime for Hitler,”

there’s no revulsion.

If it had been

“Springtime for Saddam Hussein”

when it appeared on Broadway,

it would have had
the original kick.

SINGING

LIGHTS OFF

Good afternoon.

My name is Renee,

and I am a Holocaust survivor.

I was supposed to go
through those chimneys

like my family, my friends.

Every morning I
wake up I ask, “Why me?

Why did I escape
those chimneys?”

I have no idea.

There were no seats
in the cattle cars.

And it was packed with people….

Do you know that while
we are sitting here

a genocide is going on?

That’s why I am here.

This almost looks comfortable.

In 1933,

when I was
nine years old,

I went to my father
and I asked,

“Is it possible
that this man is

claiming that he is gonna

kill all of
us?”

And my father said,

“Don’t listen to that
comedian.

Don’t you see he looks
like Charlie Chaplin?

He’s going to be out
of office in no time.”

Well my father was wrong.

They packed us into cattle cars.

Thousands and
thousands of people

pouring out of this train.

My parents disappeared
in the crowd,

my sister was crying.

It’s hard to imagine

how it really looked.

The Nazi officer,

holding on to vicious dogs,

taps me on the
shoulder and he says,

“You go.”

So I am moving with my sister,
holding on, he stops my sister.

He keeps looking at
me, looking at her

Well, I happen to have long
blonde hair and blue eyes.

My little sister looks
completely different.

Dark brown hair,
piercing black eyes.

And I grabbed my sister
and I yelled, “Run!”

Here is the picture
of my Aunt Klara,

who I’m
named after.

And here is the paper that my
mother found at Auschwitz,

in the archives,

that shows that she
was experimented on.

When I found those papers I also

found the doctor who actually
experimented on her.

And the following day

we flew to Munich and

I met the doctor

and confronted him
with that paper.

And he said, “Oh, we did
only harmless experiments.”

And I said, “Well Doctor, if
they were harmless experiments,

why did she
die?”

And he had the audacity

to turn to me
and to say,

“Well, we couldn’t send her back
to the camp

to tell everybody what we were
doing,

so we had to get rid of her.”

That’s how
I found,

53 years after

liberation, how I found
out

that my sister was shot after

they experimented on her.

CLOSING DOOR

OLD CAMERA ROLLING

- Is that who I think it is?

- Uh, yes, that’s Adolf
Hitler in a home movie.

- Looks like Mel Brooks.

LAUGHTER

- Anything I could do to deflate
Germans—

anything—I did.

WHISTLING

Peeping Times, home
movies of Hitler.

I was there with Eva Braun.

What did you do?

It was a bug.

A bug? You killed a bug?

You killed the bug?

A living thing?

You just take its life away?

She said “It’s just a bug!
It doesn’t matter…”

I said “Well, why don’t
you ask the bug’s family,

how they feel?”

You just don’t kill things!

What’s the matter with you?

You can do jokes about Nazis,

but if you say
Holocaust

then it becomes, uh, bad taste.

That’s the thing, there’s
tons of Nazi jokes,

it’s like, there’s nothing
taboo about making a Nazi joke

DRUM ROLL

- Schultz!

- You Dummkopp.

Bugs Bunny was
making fun of Nazis,

the Three Stooges were
making fun of Nazis,

yhe Marx Brothers were
making fun of Nazis.

And this was during
World War II!

- Heil Hitler!

- Heil Hitler!
- Heil Hitler!

- Heil Hitler!

- Heil myself!

Anyone who is in a position
of extreme authority

is great to make fun of,

because they’re pompous. T

here’s an arrogance to
being in that position.

MUSIC

- Humor is the
weapon of the weak.

- Think about the things
that we make jokes about.

- We make jokes about our
bosses. We make jokes about

death. You know, when I
was in the army we made

jokes about our commanders.

they could just order us to do
whatever they wanted us to do.

- Nazi jokes, easy.

- Making fun of bad people,

easy. Making fun of good
people,

or tragedy, that’s what’s hard.

So making a Holocaust joke

about the act of the Holocaust
in general, and the event,

is really difficult.

Do you have a Holocaust joke,
do you have a Holocaust joke

Gee, I don’t know any
Holocaust jokes.

Do you know any
Holocaust jokes?

No. I can’t go there. I can’t…

I personally,

who has done a musical

called “The Inquisition,”

with Jews floating around and

being dunked in
water and tortured

I cannot go there.

Well, to me, you don’t
have a Holocaust joke.

You have a joke about dating,
you have a joke about politics,

you have... the joke’s always
about something else

for me

the joke’s always about
something else, and

then the punchline

is the shocker.

That’s when you mention
Hitler, or the Holocaust

or, you know.

“Auschwitz” is a funny punchline

not a funny topic, but
a funny punchline.

You don’t want to walk
out on stage and go,

“How’s your Friday night going
everybody?

Let’s talk about Auschwitz!”

That’s not gonna fly.

No one’s getting laid
after that show.

A great joke

really does trump all rules.

But it’s got to
be a great joke,

and the higher the stakes

the higher the standard for
how good the joke has to be.

It has to be funny,

if you’re going to cross the
line, you better be funny!

Of course it has to be funny!

Otherwise it’s not a joke.

A joke about a
mother-in-law can be

that good and pass muster.

But a joke about this
stuff has to be like,

you know,

you’re ashamed that
you laughed at it,

but you’re laughing
because it’s like,

you can’t
help yourself.

So,

I’ll never forget, I actually
did have this thought,

and comedians do have these
thoughts

that go really overboard, and I
thought,

“Could I ever tell anyone this?”

And I’m thinking, “If I
had this thought someone

else must’ve had this thought.”

But I was at
one point

watching footage

of one of the concentration
camps being liberated

on one
of the history,

you know, World War II
channels.

And so I’m watching
this video of

a concentration camp
being liberated

and I actually thought
to myself, “Now

If I was standing on line
naked for the gas chambers…

would I hold my stomach in?”

- I have a joke in
my act now about

making love to my girlfriend,

and she’s so beautiful I always
have an orgasm too fast.

And I said, “Well, what
if we had a code word,

something you whisper
in my ear to make me

forget about having an orgasm,
just to last a little longer.”

And she said, “Well what do you
want your code word to be?”

And I just thought of the worst
thing I could think of and said,

“I don’t know, just
say, Holocaust.”

And the next day we’re
making love in the morning,

and she’s so beautiful and
so lovely after two minutes,

I’m about to have an orgasm

and suddenly she
whispers in my ear,

she says, “I can’t believe
those poor six million Jews

who died in the ovens at
Auschwitz.”

And I was like, “What the
hell are you talking about?

I didn’t want a Wikipedia
printout right now!”

Oh,

this should be good, Sarah
Silverman

on the Holocaust…

I always know when it’s
Hitler’s birthday.

They announce it on
Entertainment Tonight.

Right before they go to
commercial you see a silhouette

and then they say,

“This man is responsible for the
deaths of six million Jews.

Is it… Ted Danson?

Patrick Duffy?

My lesbian niece, their
whole family is very Jewy,

and she called me up
and she was like,

“Aunt Sarah,

did you know that Hitler
killed sixty million Jews?”

And I

corrected her and I
said,

“Ya know, I think, um,

I think he’s responsible
for killing

six million Jews.”

And she said “Oh
yeah, six million,

I knew that, but seriously, I
mean, what’s the difference?”

“The difference is,

sixty million is
unforgivable, young lady.”

- Is six million forgivable?

- Well, that’s the joke.

- I believe

that if black people were in
Germany during World War II

that the Holocaust would
have never happened.

I do. Or, not to Jews.

Maybe true.

Somebody might bring up,

how far

are comics
allowed to go?

Are they allowed to go as
far as Sarah Silverman?

AWARD CEREMONY AND
PEOPLE CLAPPING

Finally, a Lifetime Achievement
Award for Mel Brooks.

Wow! What an elegant
way to say,

“Hey! Let’s wrap it up.”

LAUGHTER

She made a joke about
the Holocaust.

- What do the Jews hate
most about the Holocaust?

- What?
- The cost!

LAUGHTER

SIGHS
I couldn’t, you know

SIGHS

I couldn’t believe it.

I did laugh, I have
to admit I laughed.

But maybe the time has
come

for that joke,

and it works.

I don’t think that 25
years ago

that joke probably would’ve
gotten the biggest “whoa!”

of all time.

- Heidi Klum!
- Wooow

The last time a German
looked this hot

was when they were pushing
Jews into the ovens.

Wow,

wow.

It’s funny—I
wouldn’t’ve said it!

I couldn’t have said it!

It doesn’t mean that it
isn’t funny.

Even the rhythm is good. But, uh

you know, I don’t want to…

you know, it’s…

it’s in terrible taste,
I mean it’s dreadful.

But

it’s funny! And

I admire her guts,
I couldn’t do it,

I wouldn’t do it.

I mean, she was kind of
making fun of the Germans,

I guess?

How about, like, it’s
just a funny joke

and you’re allowed to laugh and

you’re allowed to
turn the channel.

So if you don’t want
this kind of humor

move along.

I’ll take 20th Century
History, Adolf.

- The cause of the
sinking of the Titanic.

PING

- Uh, what is an iceberg?

No, I’m sorry! The correct
response is,

“What were the Jews.”

- Hello, Mr. Alexander

- This is really inappropriate,

his is offensive!

I’m sorry, I can’t I
can’t follow this.

I’m sorry, I can’t go on.

- Didn’t you do Nazi
stuff on “Seinfeld”?

That was an entirely
different situation.

I think Jerry Seinfeld
has been known to say

that Standards & Practices
helped him make

a funnier show because

you can’t

go the easy route.

You were making out
during Schindler’s List?!

It’s harder to conceptually

contain yourself
within the boundaries

and still truly be funny

and “Seinfeld” to me is
the classic example.

Medium turkey chili.

LAUGHTER

The one regret I do have

of all of the years
at Standards,

in terms of Holocaust humor,

is the Soup Nazi.

- I didn’t get any bread.
- Just forget it, let it go.

I think the notion of ‘Nazi

being used as a

very mild pejorative

does trivialize that experience.

And I had no clue at the time

that that would
enter the lexicon

the way that it has.

I don’t see the
society collapsing

as a result of the Soup Nazi.

- No soup for you!

That’s Larry’s skill, to be able
to find the way into a subject

that makes it
palatable to people.

So is that even a
taboo at that point?

You know, that’s the question.

Oh

the Rabbi said he’s bringing
a survivor tomorrow.

Should I have my father
bring his friend Solly?

- yeah.

Do survivors like
seeing each other?

Well, when I first
saw the outline

for the “Survivor” episode
you know, there’s a

there’s a gut reaction that
I have to certain things.

The Holocaust is one of them.
There’s a sensitivity.

I’m Jewish, you know.

They could come back and
wipe me and my family out.

And, you know, so
there’s always a little

“ungh” that you feel, this
little thing up your spine.

So? Where’s the other survivor?

So here we are in a
region of Australia

where of the world’s ten
most deadly snakes,

nine of
them inhabit this region.

It was harrowing.

- That’s a very
interesting story.

I was in a concentration camp.

You never even suffered

one minute in your life compared
to what I went through!

All survivors talk like that?

- Mom wait, I can’t hear.

Look, I’m saying we spent
42 days trying to survive.

We had very little
rations, no snacks…

- Snacks?

What are you talking, snacks?

We didn’t eat,
sometimes for a week!

Did you guys have a bathroom?

A bathroom?!

We didn’t have one.

We had 12 people at a time

Don’t aggravate yourself here.

You don’t know nothing about
survival. I’m a survivor!

- I’m a survivor!

- I’m a survivor!

- I’m a survivor!

- I’m a survivor!

-I’m a survivor!

I don’t think this is funny.

We expect more

from Jews,

a greater sensitivity, and
maybe that’s not fair.

What?

I understand why we’re laughing.

Why are they laughing?
What are they laughing at?

Now come on, your
money or your life!

RAIN

Jack Benny!

Jack Benny probably
institutionalized

the stereotype of the
cheap Jew in ways

that anti-Semites
couldn’t have achieved

because more people watched his
show than watched anything else.

Was that his intention?
Absolutely not.

But every time
he said it,

and because he was Jewish,

he gave it credibility.

I said, your money or your life!

I’m thinking it over!

How you do it

makes a difference.

If you do it with care,
with love, with respect,

it’s more
acceptable

it’s not comfortable, but
it’s more acceptable.

APPLAUSE

This is song called “In My
Country There is Problem.”

GUITAR

SINGING
In my country there is problem

SINGING
And that problem is transport

If you’re laughing at something,

it’s tapping something
in your subconscious,

some embarrassment you have,
some inhibition you have.

And then the taboo joke

allows you to
kind

of purge, and have a catharsis.

In my country there is problem

And that problem is the Jew

They take everybody’s money

They never give it back

People need
that—subconsciously they need

they have that need to sort
of tap that dark part,

that id-like part
of their psyche.

SINGING
Throw the Jew down the well

So my country can be free

You must grab him by his horns

Then we have a big party

Sacha Baron Cohen says,

“I am exposing, I am
airing prejudice.”

The only problem is,

that the people that are
laughing

aren’t laughing at the prejudice

they’re applauding
the prejudice!

When the joke is “Throw
the Jews down the well!

Kill the Jews”… a)
it’s not funny.

But even if it was funny,
they’re applauding it!

SINGING
Throw the Jew down the well

So my country can be free

AUDIENCE SINGING
So my country can be free

You must grab him by his horns

AUDIENCE SINGING
You must grab him by his horns

Then we have a big party

My

dialogue or disagreement
with Sacha Baron Cohen

really goes back to Archie
Bunker.

Oh no, oh no,

I’m going to sue that guy.

First thing in the morning

I’m going to get myself
a good Jew lawyer.

LAUGHTER

Archie, do you always
have to label people?

Why can’t you just get a lawyer,

why does it have to
be a Jewish lawyer?

‘Cause if I’m going
to sue an Arab,

I’m going to get a guy
who’s full of hate.

APPLAUSE

Our feeling was, you have made
Archie Bunker

a hero.

They’re not laughing at him,
they’re laughing with him.

There were people who
agreed with Archie,

there were people who
agreed with Mike.

And I think that’s what
made the show interesting

and what made it good.

Uhm

You know, we always made fun
of Archie, we as liberals,

and so we thought that they
were laughing at that.

But I think even the people
who agreed with Archie

realized he was a
bit of a buffoon,

a bit of an idiot.

You can’t control

how your joke will be
inferred.

You know

I had a friend Tom Gianas

who would call it “mouth
full of blood laughs.”

You know, where they’re
laughing at the wrong thing

And that’s hard, but

it’s just no longer yours.

My nana was a

survivor of the Holocaust—or,
I’m sorry, alleged Holocaust.

And sheAUDIENCE LAUGHS

she had the tattoo, you know,

the number, and
thank God she was

at one of the better
concentration camps.

She had a vanity number, it said

“Bedazzled.” Which
is kind of fun.

You know, I talked
about the Holocaust

and I said “the
alleged Holocaust”

and that’s a joke about
Holocaust deniers.

And uhm

you know, a
sophisticated audience

would understand that
and

maybe a less
sophisticated audience

may not. I’m not saying
that I’m sophisticated.

But uhm,

what are the dangers of that?
That maybe a group of people

will think that the Holocaust
didn’t happen?

I think that’s worth the risk

I think it’s worth the risk.

DRUM ROLL

- Oh my goodness, Joan.

- I am so sorry I’m late,
and I apologize.

- Why were you late?

- Yeah, this is, I waited for
you too long.

- I beg your pardon.

They sent this big stretch
Mercedes limo for us and

it got stuck, it wouldn’t move
for two and a half hours,

and I’m thinking, you know, the
Germans killed six million Jews,

you can’t fix a fucking
carburetor?

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

SIGHS
You know, it’s tough,

she’s not here to
defend herself, although

she defended herself
strong enough for a long time.

There are some people, including
the Anti- Defamation League,

who said your joke was
offensive.

How do you respond to that?
- It’s a joke, number one.

Number two it was
about the Holocaust,

that’s the way I remind
people about the Holocaust.

I do it with
humor.

Her defense was nonsense.

Forgive me Joan, but
it was nonsense.

To say this is how you brought
attention to the Holocaust?

My god,

this is how
you made it nothing.

I know that it’s a
real fear in people

that the Holocaust
would be forgotten.

Has it not been forgotten?

There are genocides all
over the world happening

and we’re not doing anything.

They’re just not
happening to Jews.

Might be something

to think about when you’re
getting mad at Joan Rivers

for making a joke about
the Holocaust which

at least is keeping it,

for lack of a
better word, alive.

Join me at the sports lodge
where I’m going to be unveiling

my very own Holocaust
erection.

I’ve got a real person
who was at Auschwitz,

plus we have a dunk tank,

plus we’ve got a lion—

“roar!”

Don’t be fooled by imitation
Holocaust memorials,

come to mine,

Sarah Silverman’s
Holocaust Memorial.

Auschwitz? You’ll be
saying “Wowschwitz!”

MUISC

- Hi.

- Good morning, how are you?

- I’m okay.

I need a red
rose, can I get one?

Yes, yes sure.

One single red rose?
-Yes.

Oh my god.
- Here you go.

How much is it?
- Oh, no, no, no charge.

CALM MUSIC

Both of us were survivors,

but both of us
realized we are alive

and we have to go on
living.

You can’t die while
you are alive

and think of the dark side
of life all the time.

You just can’t.

You can’t survive that way.

bring a rose because that’s what
he used to bring me every day,

one rose.

I will never
forget that.

CLEARS HER THROAT

Whenever I remember I cry,

and whenever I
don’t remember

I laugh, or smile.

And I’m glad that I’m
able to smile and laugh.

It would’ve been a
horrible life for me

for 70 years

to
just cry,

and to raise my daughter.

She was a baby, I had
to laugh with her,

I had to smile
with her.

This was Klara,

I don’t know, maybe 12 years
old, 10 years old, I don’t know.

I think she was very cute,
she was a little dancer.

This was in
1948,

when I came to the
United States.

I had to make her understand
that life was good,

I didn’t want her to mourn
with me the rest of her life.

So, you learn to do what
you have to do to live,

to survive.

To protect his family,

this loving father

has to think fast on his feet.

To turn the hard truth

into a simple game.

CHILD LAUGHS

Life is Beautiful.

Life is Beautiful is the
worst movie ever made.

Seriously, the blurb should be,

“He puts the ‘ha’
in Holocaust.”

To make a comedy

about a concentration camp

and avoid what
really went on there

well, it’s a great trick but
it’s absolutely ludicrous.

Achtung!

SOLDIER SPEAKING GERMAN

SOLDIER SPEAKING GERMAN

SOLDIER SPEAKING GERMAN

He laughs and jokes
and kids around,

and that’s how everything
turns out okay.

SOLDIER SPEAKING GERMAN

Life is Beautiful is
absolutely brilliant.

It portrays to a new audience

that you can take
humor,

but you can then get
their attention,

bring them in, and yet to

deliver the message
of the horror.

Now

look, I

I survived the Holocaust because
my parents did the unthinkable:

in order to save me
they gave me away.

SoCHUCKLES

did I not understand

Life is Beautiful,
when this father

does all these crazy things

to protect his child

from the horrors around him?

It’s not a comedy,
it’s not a farce.

It's, It's, It's,

It’s such a sense of
reality.

And yet

I understood when there were
survivors who said, “No,

it’s unacceptable.”

I would think Jerry Lewis

would see Life is Beautiful as a

shittier version of The
Day the Clown Cried.

There’s a movie Jerry
Lewis made called

The Day the Clown Cried

where he’s a clown

who’s put into a
concentration camp

and his job is to
entertain the children

as they’re being pushed
into the gas chambers.

No one’s seen it

I mean, human beings have
seen it, not many, I know

Harry Shearer infamously

is one of the very few
people who’s seen it.

I am one of the
handful of people

I don’t
even know if it’s a handful,

it may be two fingers.

A rough cut had
become available.

It was

a startling experience

It’s a material that you’d
have to be so sublimely

careful with

whether you’re being
funny or not.

The idea itself

is not

laughably bad.

Jerry Lewis wrote the script,

just tonally it’s
all over the place.

At times it’s Life is Beautiful,

and at times it’s
Dumb and Dumber.

It sort of luxuriated in
this mawkish sentimentality

which just made it ludicrous.
I think I said said that it was

like seeing a

Tijuana velvet clown
painting of the Holocaust.

CIRCUS MUSIC

As you might imagine
he’s not proud of it.

I don’t think he’s under some
delusion that it’s a work of art

that, you know, is being
suppressed by

big, you know, uhm

pro-PalestiniansLAUGHS

It just wasn’t his time man,
he was too ahead of his time.

If he had waited 25 years

then, yeah,

he’d be bounding over the those
seats, grabbing his Oscar.

If you’re trying to be serious
about a matter like this

it could be just as dangerous

in the wrong hands as
being funny about it.

MUSIC

To people who say,

“Don’t make these jokes ‘cause
they’re in the wrong hands,”

like, whose hands are right?

If comics can’t point out
what’s ridiculous in the world,

and the tragic in this world,

who else is going
to point it out?

Here’s someone who’s not Jewish,

Lisa Lampanelli at the
David Hasselhoff roast.

David Hasselhoff is a legend!

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

I giant in
television and music.

David, your singing is
huge in Germany.

If they had played your
music in Auschwitz

the Jews would’ve
sprinted for those ovens.

I don’t think it’s funny.

I think the initial
reaction

when a non-Jew makes
a Holocaust joke

is that they’re making
fun of the Holocaust,

and who are you to
make fun of of that?

You weren’t there,

you weren’t affected, okay?

We were and we are allowed
to joke about it, okay?

Just like um

African Americans are allowed
to say certain words that

God forbid—a big Jew from Long
Island, if I said it, I’d get

my ass in trouble.

Jews have their turf, gay
people have their turf,

black people have their turf.

And when people
transgress those turfs,

you can run
into problems.

I ain’t never been
in a barbershop

and heard a bunch of
brothers talking about Jews.

Black people don’t hate Jews
black people hate white people.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

We don’t got time to dice white
people into little groups!

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

I hate everybody!

I have a really hard time

deciding

who’s going
to get offended by what.

Culture shifts, and the words

or the taboo subject shifts as
well. It’s no longer a taboo.

You can make
fun of Lincoln’s assassination,

you can make fun of
the crucifixion—

crucifixion—you can’t
make fun of Mohammed.

That’s still a taboo
subject,

you know. And that’s truly a
taboo subject

because if you do make fun of if
there’s a good chance

someone’s going to throw a
bomb through your window

like the Danish cartoonists.

Uh, I want to say, despite
last week’s

senseless attacks on the French
satirical magazine

Charlie Hebdo,

we all remember Sunday’s
inspirational march

through Paris.

Millions standing
against terrorism

that made plain the message:
in a free society,

expression

without fear of persecution

is a basic right.

The anti-Semitic
comedian Dieudonné

arrested for incitement
after his Facebook post

that supported the attackers.

He tweeted

“Je suis Charlie Coulibaly,” the
name of one of the attackers.

Man!

Arresting someone for saying
something

days after a rally supporting
the right of free expression

eeeeeh, it’s a little weird.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Maybe if we knew more
about the culprit

Dieudonné is very controversial,

he had a tour
canceled last yea

because of this anti- Semitic
routine that he does.

Oh man, this sucks!

Je suis confused.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

- When speech gets
censored, it’s

dangerous because it
makes it more taboo.

It’s like Catholic schoolgirls

who are told they’re
going to go to hell

if they have sex
before marriage

end up being slutty
because it’s all

pent up, fucked up shit.

MUSIC

Miss Hitler:

they’re doing a racist

beauty pageant.

There was a list
of what you need

to qualify to
run for Miss Hitler.

Be polite to your
competitors,

and you must hate Jews.

But, you know, I’m
always pleased

to see things
like that,

and like to point
to them because

I mean, it would be better

if it didn’t exist, but

the fact that it does,
it’s always nice that it’s

more than just a
gas in the air,

you know?

It’s something you can
point to and see.

I think it’s more effective
when people can go,

“Oh my god, that’s awful,
and hilarious.

It’s awful hilarious.”

Has anybody read that Nazis are
going to March in New Jersey,

you know?

I read this in the newspaper.
We should get down there,

get some guys
together, you know,

get some bricks
and baseball bats

and really explain
things to them.

There was this devastating
satirical piece on that

on the op-ed page of Times.
It is devastating.

Well, a satirical piece in
the Times is one thing,

but bricks and baseball bats
really gets right to the point.

Oh, but really biting satire

is always better
than physical force.

No, no, physical force is
always better with Nazis.

It’s hard to satirize a
guy with shiny boots.

DRUM

PEOPLE SHOUTING

Goodbye Jews! Goodbye Jews!
Goodbye Jews!

I know how movies are made, so I
know somewhere there is a tape

of like fifty little girls

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

trying really hard,

AUDIENCE LAUGHINg

trying to get the
“goodbye Jews” part.

“Hi my name is Anne Marie
and I’m with William Morris,

‘Goodbye Jews,’

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

‘Goodbye Jews.’”
“OK, next.”

And then comes the
girl who’s amazing,

and her mother has
prepared her for months,

she knows how to
walk in the room:

“Hi my name is Louise

and I am really
happy to meet you!

The sun will come
out, tomorrow!

Bet your…”
“We just need the line,

actually.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.

GOODBYE JEWS! GOODBYE JEWS!”

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

I love when people say,

“How could you make
jokes?

Don’t you realize what a

ragic situation that is,

how horrible that is?

Aren’t
you aware that?”

And I always go,

“Uh, yes, I
am aware of that,

and that’s where the
jokes stem from.”

Are there things that
go over the line?

Yeah I’m sure that there are.

You know, uhm,

But I don’t know if my kids
will consider it over the line.

I have no line. I mean

I think it’s a case-bycase
basis.

My line is, really,

I think child molestation

as a comedian, that’s my line.

Maybe it’s being a
parent, whatever it is,

there’s just nothing
about child molestatio

n or rape that I find funny.

I just don’t find it funny.

Somebody can
make it funny…

There’s no worse life
available to a human

than being a caught
child molester.

And yet they still do it!

Which you can only
really surmise

that it must be really good.

I mean, from their
point of view.

AUDIENCE GROANS

From their—not ours—but
from their point of view,

it must be amazing
for them to risk

so much.

Oh, some people don’t like
you to talk like that,

some people like to shut you
up for saying those things.

You know that, lots of people,
lots of groups in this country

want to tell you how to talk

want to tell you what you
can’t talk about.

Or sometimes they’ll say you
can talk about something

but you can’t joke about it.

Say you can’t joke about
something cause it’s not funny.

Comedians run into that
shit all the time.

I wrote a “Seinfeld” script
where Elaine buys a gun.

We cast it,

we started building the
sets,

and NBC said, “You
can’t make that show.”

That was more
controversial to them

than the masturbation episode,

the idea that Elaine
would go and buy a gun

to protect herself at that time,
which was in the early ‘90s.

Ironically still extremely
relevant today,

you know.

And one of the reasons
it’s relevant,

one of the reasons
it’s still taboo,

is because it really
hasn’t been dealt with,

it hasn’t been
delved into.

I don’t know, I think it

it really depends on how
horrific.

Like 9/11?

Not funny.

Is that you?

It’s, uh,

it’s Eddie Silverman,

he’s my, uh, brother-in-law.

He, uh,

he died on September
11th.

Oh my gosh.

Oh, I’m so sorry.

Yeah, terrible.

He was in the building?

No, no, he was uptown
on 57th Street.

He got hit by a bike messenger.

You know, you had a desperate
feeling after 9/11 that

comedy was over.

No one in my generation

had experienced that.

And I even called my manager,
Bernie Brillstein at the time,

and he’s a Hollywood legend,
and he was sort of

speechless, he didn’t
know where to go.

And when the old people
don’t know what to do

you start to get nervous.

There was a weird feeling

like, “Ooh there’ll never
be comedy ever again.”

Sounds crazy now, but
that was the feeling

9/12, 9/13, 9/14, 9/15.

Like:

gigs were cancelled

It was like being a
pilot after 9/11

in a way, where you were like,

“Am I out of work? Are
we going to fly again?”

“Saturday Night Live” cancelled
a show—I wasn’t with the show,

I’m just a viewer at this point

and their first live show back

they had Giuliani on,

and I remember Lorne
looking at him,

and he says, “Are we
allowed to be funny?”

Why start now?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Lorne’s asking that
was so in the moment.

Had enough time passed?

Live! From...

Clearly not enough
time had passed.

But the laugh that it
got was such a release.

It was cathartic and healing.

WATER RUNNING

Bernard used to make the
morning coffee for me.

Ever since he died,

I sleep with the television on.

And I remember I woke up

early in the morning

I heard the commentator saying

a plane just hit
one of the towers.

I couldn’t believe... I was
wide awake right away,

needless to say, and

I thought to myself,

“How lucky for Bernard that

he doesn’t hear these terrible

things that are happening
today in the world.”

You know, I just came
back from Rwanda.

The stories I heard there

also, just unimaginable.

We think the Holocaust

was the worst thing
that ever

happened.

The fact is that,

you know, the Holocaust
lasted twelve years.

Within those twelve years,

six million Jews
were murdered

in the Holocaust.

In Rwanda,

within four months,

one million Tutsis were

murdered.

So, you know, if
you think about it

And this is after
the Holocaust,

when we keep saying
“Never again”?

So that’s where
we are.

APPLAUSE

Now we got the Freedom Tower

They should change the name
from the Freedom Tower

to the Never Going
In There Tower.

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

Because I’m never
going in there.

AUDIENCE LAUGHING

In the same spot they
put another skyscraper?

Does this building duck?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

What were they thinking?

Who’s the corporate
sponsor, Target?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Subjects come up that are

seemingly inappropriate
for comedy,

and that’s the place that’s the
most interesting to explore.

If you can find humor

in things that are absolutely
not funny

by most traditional standards,

you are mining material
that’s kind of fresh.

What seems to be the problem?

I’ve contracted AIDS.

How did you get that?

From an African prostitute.

Do you mind if I interject
for a second? Sorry.

I just think it’s
getting quite heavy,

this sketch, and I just
wonder if perhaps,

just for the sake of comedy,

from an African
prostitute, just.

Knock knock.

Hi, what seems to
be the problem?

As I said before, I’ve
got full-blown AIDS.

Right.

You want to know how I got it?

Sure.

From a well-known
homosexual actor.

Wow.

Again, though, I just
think cancer, though,

and AIDS, and famine,

are just not really
subjects for comedy.

Well, why does he get
away with it then?

We don’t know.

That’s to me the
definition of true taboo,

when there are
consequences as a result.

When people just laugh and

then go back to doing
what they were doing

that’s not really taboo.

That’s socially acceptable...

controversial,
provocative perhaps,

but socially acceptable.

Back in the slave days,

I would’ve never been single

I’m six feet tall and I’m
strong, Colin, STRONG!

I mean, look at me,
I’m a mandingo!

Master would’ve hooked me up

with the best brother
on the plantation.

And every nine months I’d be in
the corner having a superbaby.

Every nine months!

Every nine months I’d
just be in the corner

just popping them out.

Just: Shaq!... Kobe!...

It’s okay to say
these things on TV,

- LeBron!

- through the broadcast media

They’re letting you say it.

If they really felt
it was dangerous,

if they really
felt it was taboo,

then you wouldn’t
be able to say it.

The following piece
contains gratuitous use of

the “N” word.

And by “N” word,

I mean
“Nigger.”

Excuse me, we are looking
for Clayton Bigsby.

Look no further,
fella, you found him.

How could this have happened?

A black white
supremacist.

He was the only Negro
we’d ever had around here,

so we figured we’d
make it easier

by just telling
him he was white.

Niggers, Jews, homosexuals,

Mexicans, Arabs,

and all kinds of
different Chinks stink!

All these things I’ve
been talking about,

all the things that
I’ve worked on,

we’re not truly transgressing.

As long as

the powers that
be let us do it,

it means we haven’t
transgressed.

I’m glad you guys laughed at
that, that does not always work.

I mean, nothing works
100% of the time, right?

Except Mexicans, I’ve
noticed…

AUDIENCE BOOS

That’s the one? “Boo!”
Right, “Boo, Mexicans!”

I hear you, you guys are

preaching to the choir.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

When they throw me in
jail for making Borat,

then you know we’ve dealt
with a taboo subject.

Here he is, a very
shocking comedian,

the most shocking
comedian of our time,

a young man who is
skyrocketing to fame:

Lenny Bruce!

By the way, are there any
niggers here tonight?

“What did he say?

Are there any niggers
here tonight?

What, is he so desperate
for shock value?”

Ah, I think I see one
nigger couple back there

between those two niggers
and three kikes.

You have two
spics, one mick

three kikes, and one spunky,
funky honky.

The point

if President Kennedy got
on television

every day and said,

“I would like to introduce all
the niggers in my cabinet.”

And every day you heard,

“Nigger, nigger, nigger,
nigger, nigger,”

nigger would lose its impact

and then it would never make
any four-year old nigger cry

when he came home from school.

I couldn’t get over what it was

to listen to Lenny Bruce.

You were hearing

ideas that you knew
were accurate.

He talked about Jesus,

talked about black people,

talked about gay people
when no one was doing it.

And in Chicago, Mayor Daley

very Catholic city

they threw him off the stage,

put him in jail.

This is the defendant
Lenny Bruce

charged in two separate counts,

giving an indecent performance

all performances were
obscene, indecent,

immoral and impure.

In the
latter two performances,

words such as ass,
balls, cocksucker, cunt,

fuck, motherfucker, piss,
screw, shit, and tits

were used about one hundred
times in utter obscenity.

Sometimes it’s important
to be ahead of society.

Just because it’s uncomfortable

doesn’t mean that
it’s the wrong thing.

Sometimes it means it’s
exactly the right thing.

I think we’re at a point now

where

the bar is
really low.

And in a strange way, I
think it’s a good thing.

I think it helps us remember.

Let’s see, did we look
at Ricky Gervais?

I watch hours on end
of the History Channel

and Discovery Channel now,

just back and forth,

like six hour stints of History
Channel, Discovery Channel,

back and forth. Ask me anything
about sharks and Nazis.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

The shark’s an amazing creature.
It can taste and smell

the slightest human secretion
of blood and sweat,

one part in a billion,

from a mile away.

A shark would’ve found Anne
Frank like that

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

I actually don’t know
how this has happened,

but in the last five
years, seven years,

all of a
sudden,

it’s been open season
on Anne Frank.

She had time to write a
novel, for Christ’s sake.

It ends a bit abruptly,
and no sequel— lazy.

EXPLOSION AND DOOR BREAKING

CRUNCHING OF A CRISP

There’s this book,

Hope: A Tragedy about
Anne Frank.

She survived, she’s pissed
off, she wrote this diary

that sold 32 million copies,
she didn’t get a nickel,

and here she is: she’s
writing a novel and

she’s not leaving
this guy’s attic

until she’s done with the novel.

Took a while writing the scene
where he first meets Anne Frank.

“How dare you say you’re
Anne Frank, that’s an insult

to the deaths of whoever,
of millions of people,

I had relatives who died there,”

and she says,

“First of all I, I didn’t
die in Auschwitz, jackass,

I was in
Bergen-Belsen,

and by the way,

about all those family
members you lost?”

and she pulls up her sleeve
and shows her numbers.

And the line was, “‘Blow
me’ said Anne Frank.”

I remember I stopped writing and

I immediately called
my wife and I said,

“I think I know what
this book is about.”

And then I immediately
called my shrink.

The outrage that some people had

because he made Anne Frank

this crusty old lady!

The book I wrote before this

was all about my
relationship with God,

and I got a certain
amount of shit for it.

But among Jewish people,

you can shit on God before
you can shit on Anne Frank.

Shh! Mr. Kitty you
have to be quiet

or else they’re gonna find you.

We have greed and guilt

and wars and genocides and

there’s nothing we
can do about it.

I’ve read God’s answers,

I’ve read Spinoza’s
answers—there’s no answer.

They’re both dead.CHUCKLES

And so the only way
I can deal with

the reality of existence

is to laugh at it.

MUSIC

HATCH CLOSING

My mother would always
bring up the Holocaust.

“For you I lived through Hitler,
you can’t make the bed?”

LAUGHTER

I said, “Ma, you ran
through the forest

after finding out
your whole family

got killed in gas chambers
Ma, how did you do it?

And she said, “It
was no vacation.”

You know, that was
how my mother spoke.

Well, when I was about

18 years old my father came
home from a business trip,

and we run to him, “Daddy
what did you bring?”

That’s all we were interested,
that he came home,

that wasn’t important,
but what did he bring?

So that happened
in Hungary too?

Yes, of course. So
he opens this box

and out of this box comes this
most beautiful bathing suit.

It had a satin, shiny finish,

most beautiful floral print.

And I remember parading
around in this bathing suit,

around the swimming pool.

And the boys whistled at me,

and my girlfriends are
making, you know,

nasty remarks, they
were very jealous.

And when they came and
escorted out of the home,

I put this bathing
suit under my dress,

I put it on. I thought
nobody will know.

And that’s how I left,

and that’s how I
arrived to Auschwitz.

I just couldn’t take this
bathing suit off my body.

We were supposed to get
undressed, to take a shower.

Then all of a sudden

I felt heat on my face.

One of the Nazi
soldiers slapped me.

I started to cry.

And I peeled this bathing
suit off my body,

I folded it very neatly,

and I left it on the
pile of my clothing.

And with that
bathing suit,

I didn’t only leave
those memories,

I also left my family,

my friends,
my neighbors,

and six million Jews

behind.

So this bathing suit
is always on my mind.

TRUMPET PLAYING
MELANCHOLIC MELODY

I was going to eat that
whole cheese Danish.

Here, you eat it now.

Here, here, you deserve it.

Oh my God.

This is “Fresh Air,”
I’m Terry Gross.

My guest is Israeli
writer Etgar Keret

He’s written a new collection
of personal essays

about the seven years
between his son’s birth

and his father’s death.

His father survived the
Holocaust by

living in a hole
with his parents

for nearly two years.

I asked my father, “How
come you’re such a happy,

and optimistic, and
believing man?”

And my father thought for a
second and he said, “You know,

I have a theory
that every person

in this world is
the world champion

in something.

But the tragedy is that

most of us never discover what
we’re really good at, you know?

You could be an amazing tennis
player but

play the piano, you know?

And with me,” he said, “it
was only during the war

that I discovered
my true talent.”

And he said “I’m extremely
good at sleeping.

And what happened was
when we were in that

hole in the ground, I slept.

And every once in a
while I would wake up

and I would say to my father,
‘Father, is the war over?’

and he said ‘No,’ and I would
go and sleep some more.”

My parents told the
stories of the Holocaust

in a very matter-of-fact way.

And I think there was a
comfort level for them

because they had lived through
the Holocaust, they had survived

they had lost

not just lost loved ones, but in
many cases literally were forced

to watch loved
ones being killed.

They went to the
“Sophie’s choices,”

they went through all
of that and yet came

out at the other end
and came to America.

I think for the
children, however,

that for many of us,

the experience of hearing
those stories

and not having lived
through them meant that

we did not vanquish the demons.

The demons just got larger in
our collective imaginations,

in our individual
imaginations,

and there was a real
fear around it.

I found a way to tell my
family story in a joyful way,

in an optimistic way. But
my family was a disaster.

A broken family.

My father, when he talked about

they years of the Holocaust,

he said,

“These were the worst
years of my life,

but they were years of my life.

The first girl I ever kissed,

the
first cigarette I ever smoked….”

There was very much the
notion that we made it,

everyone who made it was part
of the survivor community,

and the obligation

was to live well, love,

eat well, have fun, get loaded
at bar mitzvahs and weddings,

and enjoy life, because the
true sin was if you didn’t

after that experience
then it was a waste,

and then Hitler would
have had the last laugh.

CHEERING MASS

SPEECH IN MOCK GERMAN

Comics are the conscience

of the people, and they
are allowed a wide

berth of activity in
every direction.

Comics have to tell us who
we are, where we are,

even if it’s in bad taste.

COUGHS RIDICULOUSLY

Isn’t laughter the greatest

gift that we’ve been
given as human beings?

Isn’t that what separates
us as human beings?

And we’re the only species
that laughs, I think...

I don’t think many animals have

very good jokes

You don’t see, you know,

elephants laughing
too much.

I mean, they might
have a few jokes

Maybe chimps laugh. I
think chimps might laug

Ahh, they’re probably
slapstick jokes

Is the Holocaust funny?
No. There’s nothing

about the Holocaust
that is funny.

But is there ever anything
that we can’t laugh about?

like dirty comedy,

and I like filthy comedy,

and I like uum

bad comedy, and I like…

I do like a fat lady
slipping on a banana peel

and falling on her
ass, I do like that,

it is funny, it’s good.

But I won’t go…

you can’t get me
on the Holocaust.

Next question!

And I’ll make believe that
it occurred to me myself.

MUSIC

Look at that!

Oh, how beautiful, when the
water hits those rocks.

But nature, nature is beautiful.

Makes you forget things.

It does,

a little bit.

See the problem is, when we are
relaxing and having a nice time,

that’s when it comes back
to us.

That’s true.

If you work, and
you’re under tension

- When we enjoy something...
- If you enjoy something…

- Yeah, that’s when I
remember it.

But certain things I would
love to remember and I don’t.

I don’t remember, for example,

when I was
separated

from Klara.

- Your sister.
- My sister.

I don’t remember that moment,

how I felt,

you know?

Was I afraid,
was I angry,

was I sad?

Why don’t I remember
feeling anything?

People who felt too
much didn’t make it.

You may be right.

I remember there was a girl
in our camp

who was a mime,

and she used to
perform for us.

And I am almost sure

that
when I saw her doing that,

I smiled.

I’m sure I did.

I can’t imagine not to.

Che bella cosa na
jurnata 'e sole,

Ma n'atu sole

Chiù bello, oje ne'

O sole mio

This is such a beautiful song.

Sta 'nfronte a te!

You see, this song reminds
me of a lot of things.

Sta 'nfronte a te!

Sta 'nfronte a te!

That song. Before, just
before we were

we were deported,

we still were at
the swimming pool

and never thinking of what’s
going to happen to us,

this song was played
constantly, all day long.

And I remember

English, English words
to it, like “It’s now or never.”

And every time I hear that song

I remember that

that

it was now or never,

and we didn’t know.

I’m sorry.

It’s now or never,
come hold me tight…

And it says, “Tomorrow
will be too late.”

It was over.

“Kiss me my darling,
be mine tonight…”

ELVIS PRESLEY SINGING

It's now or never

Come hold me tight

Kiss me my darling

Be mine tonight

Tomorrow

will be too late

It's now or never

My love won't wait

When I first saw you

With your smile so tender

My heart was captured

My soul surrendered

But here we are,

the sun is going down,

and I think it’s
time to go home.

It’s sunset for all of us, huh?

- Sunset…CHUCKLES

It’s a good thing that
the sun sets slowly.

It does,

It does.

It's now or never

Come hold me tight

Kiss me my darling

Be mine tonight

Tomorrow

will be too late

It's now or never

My love won't wait

Oh yeah, here’s a Holocaust
joke I remember.

We did it in the office
of the “Show of Shows.”

I saw a roll of Scotch tape…

I took a bunch of Scotch tape

and Scotch taped
my nose, my ears

I had all my face Scotch taped

My nose smashed and

my eyebrow covered my eye

and my lips were all twisted

“Goddamn Nazis!

The goddamn Nazis did this
to me!

The Nazis!”

“The Nazis! The Nazis
did this to me!”

“They did that to
you, they maimed….?”

“Yeah they knocked me to
the ground…”

“They snuck into my foxhole…”

“They took the Scotch tape,
they put it all over my face!”

That was the joke.

You know, I got a big laugh
in the writers’ room.

I don’t know why
that tickles me.

And I still have a little
piece of my upper lip

that hurts from that. That
was about fifty years ago.

An old concentration camp
survivor buys a lottery ticket.

He wins 200 million dollars.

The reporter is talking
to him and he says,

“Uh, well, tell me what you’re
going to do with the money.”

And the old Jewish man says,

“Well, I’m going to erect a

gigantic statue
honoring Hitler.”

And the reporter goes,

“Wait a minute, you were in
the concentration camps,

why would you erect a statue
honoring Hitler?”

And he goes “Where do you
think I got the number?”

DRUM

There’s a joke I heard,

then I heard it was
a true story about

Walter Matthau and his wife.

Do you know what I’m
going to tell you?

Well here’s the joke.

Old, elderly couple go to, uh,

they go to a tour of Auschwitz.

They’re on like a
tour, you know,

like in the ‘90s, whatever.

And they

get in a big fight

and they’re not speaking to
each other the entire tour

And they get back on the bus,

and the husband says,

“You’re right, I was
wrong, I’m sorry.”

And the wife says,

“Oh, now you’re sorry, now that
you ruined Auschwitz for me!”

MUSIC

DRUM ROLL

MUSIC