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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:09,240 - Guess how fast we're going now. - I don't care, I'm having a baby! 2 00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:12,440 Hundred and five miles an hour, you believe that? 3 00:01:17,740 --> 00:01:20,440 Reese, you just passed the hospital! 4 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,340 - The baby's coming, he's coming now! - All right, all right, hold on. 5 00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:28,340 - Okay, but I think he might be stuck. - Grab onto something. Ready? 6 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,640 One, two, three! 7 00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:39,440 It's a baby boy. 8 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,640 I'm happy that Waffle House was okay with me coming here... 9 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,940 to talk to y'all about my day-to-day. 10 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,940 And, y'all, that's pretty much, in a shell... 11 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,340 what it's like to manage a Waffle House. 12 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:55,040 Ma'am, I don't know what else you want me to say to them. 13 00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:57,640 And I'm also gonna need to know where your commode's at. 14 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,540 Okay, let's give him a round of applause. Thank you. 15 00:02:01,940 --> 00:02:04,540 Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby. Ricky, is your father here? 16 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,040 No, ma'am. I haven't seen my daddy in years. 17 00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:10,340 But my mama say he's out racing cars... 18 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,840 and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves. 19 00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:17,540 Okay, kids, that's enough. We're gonna move on to Brennan. 20 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,540 Don't pay them no mind, Ricky. 21 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,140 Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake. You'll be my best friend forever. 22 00:02:23,340 --> 00:02:25,040 His job is like as a prison guard. 23 00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:28,140 Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby. 24 00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:30,640 I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky. 25 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,440 - Dad! - Hey there, boy! 26 00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:36,540 Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months? 27 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,640 - Ten years. - Ten years? 28 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,040 Man, I gotta lay off the peyote. 29 00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:42,882 Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here. 30 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,840 It's all right, I'm a volunteer fireman. 31 00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:48,740 Okay, I am a semi-professional racecar driver... 32 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,540 and an amateur tattoo artist. 33 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,840 And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver... 34 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,499 is you don't listen to losers... 35 00:02:58,740 --> 00:03:02,040 like your know-it-all teacher here. Okay, I think that's enough. 36 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,240 Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong... 37 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,940 because it's the fastest who gets paid and it's the fastest who gets laid. 38 00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:14,540 Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about. 39 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,240 You people are in the wrong on this one! 40 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,440 So in the wrong! 41 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:22,440 This is egregious, do you hear me? Egregious! 42 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,040 We were cellmates together, Andy. You got payback coming! 43 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:32,640 Dad! 44 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,340 Don't listen to these people, Ricky. You're a winner. 45 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:40,440 You got the gift. Always remember, if you ain't first, you're last. 46 00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:47,240 If you ain't first, you're last. 47 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,440 - See you when you're grown up. - Dad! Come back, Dad! 48 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,240 It's a hot one here in Talladega... 49 00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:10,040 and this crowd of over 180,000 is enjoying one heck of a day. 50 00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:27,740 Yo, Terry. Terry, we got the caution. Bring it in for a pit. Let's work on it. 51 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,340 All right, fellas, let's go. 52 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,040 Looking good. Yes, come on. 53 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:45,440 Keep it up, baby. 54 00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:48,840 - All right, way to go. - Go, way to go. 55 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:50,540 Nice jack work, Ricky. 56 00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:52,540 Hey, Shake and Bake, Cal. 57 00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:55,740 - Shake and Bake! - Terry, it's all on you, bro. You go. 58 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,140 Go, baby, go. Wait, what are you doing? 59 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:01,040 - I gotta take a piss. - Go, go, go! 60 00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:03,840 It doesn't matter, Lucius. We're in last place. Relax. 61 00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:06,840 Jeez, I gotta go take a whiz. Get off my ass. 62 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,940 You see, this is what I'm talking about. 63 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,640 That's why this group right here is the laughingstock of NASCAR. 64 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,440 Face it, we suck. 65 00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:18,440 It's not always bad to be in last place. Here's some things we can focus on: 66 00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:21,640 One, we tried hard. And two, we're still dear friends. 67 00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:23,240 Glenn, shut up. 68 00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:26,040 I see Terry. He's having a chicken sandwich. 69 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:31,040 Hey, fellas! These are really good. You should try one. 70 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,040 That place actually makes a nice sauce. 71 00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:35,440 Let me eat this, then I gotta make a phone call... 72 00:05:35,540 --> 00:05:38,340 then I'm coming back, all right? This is the bottom line. 73 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,440 If we don't get that car back on the track... 74 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,240 our sponsors are gonna shit a chicken. 75 00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:48,440 Now, is there anyone out there who wants to go fast? Anybody? 76 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,640 I wanna go fast. 77 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:55,440 Hey, get him a suit. Hurry up, make it snappy. Let's go. 78 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,940 - Hustle up, hustle up. - Hey, man! 79 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,740 Remember that time when we got kicked out of biology for playing with Matchbox cars? 80 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,340 - Yeah! - Who's retarded now? 81 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,540 - Yeah. - Hey, what are you doing after this? 82 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,240 - After the race? - Yeah. 83 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,340 I don't know, but it feels like we're wasting a lot of time. 84 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,640 No, I know, I know. I'm just excited, man! 85 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:18,240 - Yeah, I know. Yeah. - Hey! I love you! 86 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,940 - What? - Nothing. 87 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,940 Shake and Bake! Get some! 88 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:27,340 You're my best friend! You're my best friend! 89 00:06:27,540 --> 00:06:29,240 - Okay, then! - I'm in there with you! 90 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,240 - I gotta get going! - Go, go! 91 00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:38,540 - Yeah! - That's Ricky, baby! 92 00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:40,040 That's my boy, Ricky! 93 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,540 Hey, Ricky, just remember one thing: 94 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,740 If you wreck that car, that's 200 grand out of your pocket... 95 00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:51,940 so let's take it nice and slow, okay? 96 00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:55,840 With all due respect, Lucius, I'm gonna do some driving. 97 00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:00,640 Excuse me, coming through. 98 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:06,040 Apparently, we've got a situation for the Laughing Clown, number 26 car. 99 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,040 Terry Cheveaux is refusing to drive. One of his crew members... 100 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,440 has taken the wheel. 101 00:07:10,540 --> 00:07:13,840 Hey, just wanted to share a little piece of personal information with you. 102 00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:15,340 I got a chubby right now... 103 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,540 because this is one of the most awesome experiences of my life... 104 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,340 because I'm getting to drive a racecar! 105 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,240 I can't believe it! Oh, my God! 106 00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,640 Wow, that was cool. 107 00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:44,740 Come on, come on. 108 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:54,540 The big story from Talladega: 109 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:58,040 Little-known jack-man Ricky Bobby places third in the Dennit machine. 110 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,440 Ricky, first of all, where did you learn to drive like that? 111 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:05,640 In a car. Car handle really good. Yeah. 112 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,640 Can you speak up, Ricky? 113 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,640 A car. It handled real good. 114 00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:12,240 So, what do you think, Mr. Dennit? He sure can drive. 115 00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:15,840 He's got guts. Dennit Racing needs a racer like him. 116 00:08:16,140 --> 00:08:17,840 Come on, Dad. He's just a stupid cowboy. 117 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,540 Look how bad he is in that interview. 118 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,540 Junior, driving has got nothing to do with interviews. 119 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,640 I just wish to hell you had a little more stupid cowboy in you. 120 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:30,440 I felt like I was on a spaceship and... 121 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,182 I'm not sure what to do with my hands. 122 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,240 Be good to hold them down by your side. 123 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,440 We're really happy with what was going on. 124 00:08:39,740 --> 00:08:44,540 And at the end of the day, you know, you gotta be happy. 125 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:48,640 - What did you say his name was again? - His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby. 126 00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:51,540 Ricky Bobby? He's got two first names. 127 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,640 Whatever his name is, let's get him over here. 128 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,040 Everything ended up fine. 129 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,340 Yeah, okay, everything was fine. Thanks, thanks. Great job in the car. 130 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,940 Ricky Bobby, a force to be reckoned with, possibly... 131 00:09:03,140 --> 00:09:04,440 in the near future. 132 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,640 Ricky Bobby with yet another impressive win. 133 00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:08,540 He is dominating NAS CAR. 134 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,340 First or last, baby, you know it! 135 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,440 I've never seen a driver who wants to win more than this guy. 136 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,040 I could get used to this winning thing! 137 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:35,840 Dennit Racing Incorporated has decided to field an additional car. 138 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,940 And, at the urging of Ricky Bobby... 139 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:43,240 who's been like a son to me, only better... 140 00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:46,840 I'm naming Cal Naughton Jr. As the driver. 141 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,440 All right. 142 00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:52,440 - Cal Naughton. - Hey... 143 00:09:52,540 --> 00:09:55,240 we just want to say to all you other drivers out there... 144 00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:58,440 if you smell a delicious, crispy smell after the race... 145 00:09:58,540 --> 00:10:01,840 it's not your tailpipe, it's a little bit... 146 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,440 of shake... 147 00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:06,040 And then bake. 148 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:07,540 Shake and Bake! 149 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,340 - That's our nickname. - Get used to hearing it. 150 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,340 And Ricky Bobby wins... 151 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,840 with Cal Naughton Jr. Finishing second. 152 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,340 - Yeah! - Hey, man! 153 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,740 - Shake... - And bake! 154 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:25,440 Hey, driver! Drive these. 155 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,440 Please be 18. 156 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,840 You want to make this out to Charlotte? 157 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,540 Hey, excuse me, Ricky. 158 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,540 - Hey, Dale. - Hey, can I get your autograph? 159 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,840 - Sure. Who do I make this out to? - It's for me. I think you're awesome. 160 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,499 - Don't tell the other drivers. - I'm not gonna tell anyone. 161 00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,040 I'll see you out there. 162 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,240 Absolutely, ma'am, I'd love to sign your baby. 163 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,440 You're not gonna wanna wash that forehead. 164 00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:03,340 - That's right, Powerade's number one. - Not just for hydration, for vitamin. 165 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,040 No, it's me, it's me, Susan, your assistant. 166 00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:08,340 Gotta watch it when I get into autograph mode. 167 00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:11,440 I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault, I shouldn't have been standing. 168 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,140 I'm Ricky Bobby. Christmas is right around the corner... 169 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,340 and what better gift to give a loved one... 170 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,140 than the Jackhawk 9000? 171 00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:19,640 Available at Wal-Mart. 172 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,240 When you work on your mysterious lady-part stuff... 173 00:11:22,540 --> 00:11:25,840 you should have the right tools too. So that's why you should use... 174 00:11:26,140 --> 00:11:27,940 Maypax, the official tampon of NASCAR. 175 00:11:29,740 --> 00:11:30,840 I'm Ricky Bobby. 176 00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:34,340 If you don't chew Big Red, then **** you. 177 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:39,940 Prune candy. 178 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,649 - You happy? - I'm very happy. 179 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,240 - Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby. - And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. 180 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,640 Urging you never to travel to Tijuana. 181 00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:50,640 Ricky! Ricky! Ricky! 182 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,940 Okay, I'm starting to get sick. 183 00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:56,840 Dick Berggren in Las Vegas, Victory Lane, for Fox Television. 184 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,940 Ricky Bobby, today's big winner. Heck of a win for you today... 185 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:04,240 but it seems as if you either win or crash the car trying to win. 186 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,540 Well, Dick, here's the deal. I'm the best there is, plain and simple. 187 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,040 I mean, I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. 188 00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:12,240 And nobody can hang with my stuff. 189 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,540 You know, I'm just a big, hairy, American winning machine. 190 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:18,640 If you ain't first, you're last. You know what I'm talking about? 191 00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:20,240 That phrase is trademarked... 192 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,840 not to be used without permission of Ricky Bobby Inc. 193 00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:33,440 Supper's ready! Come on, y'all! I've been slaving over this for hours! 194 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,540 Dear Lord baby Jesus... 195 00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:41,140 or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesus... 196 00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:47,440 we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC... 197 00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:50,541 and the always delicious Taco Bell. 198 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,540 I just want to take time to say thank you for my family... 199 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:57,240 my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons... 200 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,840 Walker and Texas Ranger... 201 00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:02,040 or T.R., as we call him... 202 00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:05,040 and of course, my red-hot smoking wife, Carley... 203 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,040 who is a stone-cold fox. 204 00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:10,840 Who if you were to rate her ass on 100, it would easily be a 94. 205 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,440 Also wanna thank you for my best friend, Cal Naughton Jr... 206 00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:16,440 who's got my back no matter what. 207 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:18,640 Shake and Bake. 208 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,940 Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father, Chip. 209 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,440 We hope that you can use your baby Jesus powers... 210 00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:27,340 to heal him and his horrible leg. 211 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,240 And it smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it. 212 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,040 Dear tiny infant Jesus, we... 213 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,040 Hey, you know, sweetie... 214 00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:37,340 Jesus did grow up. 215 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,540 You don't always have to call him "baby." 216 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,440 It's odd and off-putting to pray to a baby. 217 00:13:41,540 --> 00:13:44,440 Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best and I'm saying grace. 218 00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:47,340 When you say grace, say it to grownup Jesus, teenage Jesus... 219 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,057 bearded Jesus, whoever you want. 220 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,440 You know what I want? 221 00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:55,240 I want you to do this grace good, so that God will let us win tomorrow. 222 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,240 Dear tiny Jesus... 223 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,324 in your golden-fleece diapers, 224 00:13:59,525 --> 00:14:02,440 with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists... 225 00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:04,840 pawing at the air... He was a man. He had a beard. 226 00:14:05,140 --> 00:14:07,440 Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me? 227 00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:09,440 I win the races and I get the money. 228 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:13,240 Ricky, finish the damn grace. 229 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:16,240 I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt... 230 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,040 because it says, like, "I wanna be formal... 231 00:14:19,340 --> 00:14:21,040 Right. but I'm here to party too." 232 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,540 Because I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party. 233 00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:27,340 I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai. 234 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:31,440 I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle's wings. 235 00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:34,640 And singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd... 236 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,540 with, like, a angel band. 237 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,540 And I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk. 238 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:41,440 Hey, Cal? Why don't you just shut up? 239 00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:43,640 - Yes, ma'am. - Okay. 240 00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:49,340 Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus... 241 00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:51,440 don't even know a word yet... 242 00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:55,640 just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent... 243 00:14:55,940 --> 00:15:00,440 we just thank you for all the races I've won and the 21.2 million dollars... 244 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,340 Love that money! 245 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,940 That I have accrued over this past season. 246 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,340 Also, due to a binding endorsement contract... 247 00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:11,940 that stipulates I mention Powerade at each grace... 248 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,440 I just wanna say that Powerade is delicious... 249 00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:16,740 and it cools you off on a hot summer day. 250 00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:22,640 And we look forward to Powerade's release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry. 251 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,240 Thank you for all your power and your grace, dear baby God. Amen. 252 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:27,540 - Amen. - Amen. 253 00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:29,040 Let's dig in! 254 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,240 That was a hell of a grace, man. You nailed that like a split hog! 255 00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,240 I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good. 256 00:15:34,540 --> 00:15:36,140 Dad, you made that grace your bitch. 257 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:38,640 Hey, boys, I wanna see some napkins in the lap. 258 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,240 Boys, how was school today? 259 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,440 I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge. 260 00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:47,040 Sounds like a good day. Texas Ranger, how about you? 261 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,540 Well, the teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. 262 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,540 I said, "Washington, D.C." 263 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:53,640 - Bingo. - Nice. 264 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,840 She said, "No, you're wrong." I said, "You got a lumpy butt." 265 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:01,340 She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants. 266 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,340 And I never did change my pee pants all day. 267 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,640 I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants. 268 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,140 I wet my bed until I was 19. There's no shame in that. 269 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:14,740 I get emotional because you guys are working so hard. 270 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,940 I'm just so proud of you. You remind me of me... 271 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:19,782 precocious and full of wonderment. 272 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,840 Tell you what, Ricky, you are truly blessed. 273 00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:24,440 - These two are two in a million. - I am. 274 00:16:24,540 --> 00:16:26,540 Just like Carley's tatas. 275 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,940 You won't find another rack like that, I guarantee. 276 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,840 Thank you, Cal. 277 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,540 That's real sweet of you, Cal. 278 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,540 That's real nice. That's one of the nicest things you've ever said. 279 00:16:35,740 --> 00:16:38,340 - Well, I mean it. - Stop, you're gonna make me cry. 280 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,240 It comes from my heart, that's why. 281 00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:42,440 I can't hold my tongue. 282 00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:46,040 These kids are my grandchildren, and you are raising them wrong. 283 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,440 They are terrible boys. 284 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,340 Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass! 285 00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:53,040 I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head. 286 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,140 - Yeah! - Yeah. Turn up the heat. 287 00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,840 Go on and get some, boys. 288 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,340 I'm 10 years old, but I'll beat your ass. 289 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,140 Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey. 290 00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:04,040 Like a spider monkey! Go on. 291 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,340 Chip, you brought this on. 292 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,440 The greatest generation, my ass. 293 00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:09,240 Tom Brokaw is a punk. 294 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,340 What is wrong with you? 295 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,740 Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew. 296 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:14,640 I love that. 297 00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:21,540 I sure as hell am, Chip. I love the way they're talking to you. 298 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,440 They're winners. Winners get to do what they want. 299 00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:26,240 Hell, you're just a bag of bones. 300 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,140 Only thing you ever done with your life is make a hot daughter. 301 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,340 That's it. That is it! 302 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:32,807 We wanted us some wussies... 303 00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:35,640 we would've named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman, okay? 304 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,940 I work too hard for your bull, Chip. 305 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,940 Come here. You make me hot. Come here. 306 00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:42,340 Everyone just keep eating. 307 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,140 - It's on. - Come here. Come here. 308 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,940 All right. 309 00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:51,540 I'll hold your hair. 310 00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:05,540 - Hey, Stephen. - Hey, Ricky. 311 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,540 Got those two tickets for my special friend? 312 00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:11,440 Yeah, sure do. You know I do, Ricky. Got them right here, buddy. 313 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,840 Great. Hey, how's your mama's hip? 314 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,140 She's gonna be all right, thank you for asking. 315 00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:18,340 - Appreciate it. Hey, good luck today. - Thanks. 316 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,940 That's the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. 317 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,840 That boy leaves two tickets for his daddy at every race... 318 00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:25,340 and he never shows up. 319 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,340 That's a shame. 320 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,540 The human heart is such a mystery. 321 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:34,040 - Let's sell these bitches, huh? - Hell, yeah. 322 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,040 - Beer money, huh? - There you go. Yes. 323 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,640 As the laps wind down, Jamie McMurray is the leader. 324 00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:43,940 Cal Naughton in second. Ricky Bobby in third. 325 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,640 What's up, Cal? You ready for a little Shake-and-Bake-age? 326 00:18:46,940 --> 00:18:49,640 - Hey, buddy. - Naughton Jr. Is letting Ricky Bobby... 327 00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:53,440 draft up to him to make that slingshot move past McMurray. 328 00:18:53,740 --> 00:18:56,240 Can you believe that he would do that for his teammate? 329 00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:58,040 Set him up that way? 330 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,240 Slingshot, engage. 331 00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:05,340 And there goes Ricky Bobby on the outside! 332 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,640 That's how we do it. 333 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,340 Makes his move. Naughton's giving him plenty of room. 334 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,140 What in the hell is he doing, guys? Get him off of me. 335 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,440 They touch! They spin! 336 00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:16,740 Snap! 337 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,740 Come on, man! 338 00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:25,840 See you, wouldn't wanna be you. 339 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,140 Look at that! Ricky Bobby's gonna try to win the race in reverse. 340 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:42,040 Man, he wants this win bad! 341 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,840 Ricky Bobby wins it in reverse! 342 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,840 Unbelievable! I love that! That is cool! 343 00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:53,040 Jamie, losing's never fun, but here's something to pick your spirits up. 344 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,840 It's real nice. I got it at Target. It's on sale. 345 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:03,140 Yeah! 346 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,240 - That's it. Another one. Another one. - All right, man. We did it! 347 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,840 I don't wanna be raining on your parade, but I gotta tell you... 348 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:20,040 that was some of the dumbest driving I have ever seen in my life. 349 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,274 - Thank you. - And I know you won the race... 350 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,982 but you're not gonna live forever. 351 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,940 I'm not stupid, Lucius. No one lives forever. No one. 352 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:31,240 But with advances in modern science and my high level of income... 353 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:35,040 I mean, it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 245, maybe 300. 354 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,640 I just read in the newspaper they put a pig heart in some Russian guy. 355 00:20:38,940 --> 00:20:41,240 Know what...? I mean, do you know what that means? 356 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,040 No, I don't know what that means. I guess, longer life. 357 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,074 - Well, no, he didn't live. - He didn't live? 358 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,840 No. It's just exciting that we're trying things like that. 359 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,640 - Ricky? - Hey, Mr. Dennit. 360 00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:53,940 - Cheers. - Yeah. 361 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,540 - She already wasted? - Celebrating. 362 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,840 She's celebrating. You feel pretty good today, huh? 363 00:20:59,140 --> 00:21:01,040 Look, Ricky, early word out of NASCAR... 364 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:04,040 is your little obscene gesture's gonna cost you 100 points. 365 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,540 You know how much that costs us in sponsorship dollars? 366 00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:08,440 With all due respect, Mr. Dennit... 367 00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:13,640 I had no idea you had experimental surgery to have your balls removed. 368 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,840 What did you say? What was that? 369 00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:17,940 Well, what? I said, "With all due respect." 370 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,840 That doesn't mean you get to say whatever you wanna say to me. 371 00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:22,807 - It sure as heck does. - No, it doesn't. 372 00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:24,649 It's in the Geneva Convention. Look it up. 373 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,940 I remember your daddy used to love it. 374 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:31,840 - This is not my dad... This is my team... - Used to love it when I used to win. 375 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,440 Now, I suggest you and your wife, Mrs. Jim Beam... 376 00:21:34,540 --> 00:21:36,740 you guys go take a chill pill. Enjoy the win! 377 00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:38,640 - Come on, man! - Yeah, Ricky. Okay. 378 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,540 Baby, photo op, photo op. Come on. 379 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,440 Come on, number one. 380 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,440 Hold my hand, baby. 381 00:21:53,540 --> 00:21:56,540 I'll tell you what, though, guys, that was a hell of a race today. 382 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,540 - Shake and Bake in full effect. - It's always been like that. 383 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,440 Me and Ricky, since we were little kids, man. 384 00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:06,840 We go together like Chinese food and chocolate pudding. Let's face it. 385 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,640 Yeah, but those are two things that don't really go together. 386 00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:12,340 We go together like cocaine and waffles. 387 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,340 No, like, for instance, if I say peanut butter and... 388 00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:17,840 - Ladies, right? - Yep. 389 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,240 - No, jelly. - Am I right? 390 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,540 - Jelly? - You like to put jelly on a lady? 391 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,540 I'm gonna settle this thing. Let's just get ourselves... 392 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,640 a whole mess of cocktails, get drunk and work this thing out. 393 00:22:28,940 --> 00:22:30,540 - Work this thing out. - That's right. 394 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:35,340 So I was talking to Nana on Saturday, and her birthday's coming up... 395 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,840 but I don't know what to get her. She's gonna be 88. 396 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,640 Get her a coffin. 397 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:49,540 Hey, Cal, I'm sorry about wrecking you today. 398 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,540 - I mean, but that was for the team. - No, that's cool. That's cool, I know. 399 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,240 I was thinking, though, one time... 400 00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:01,040 it would be really awesome if, like, you could slingshot me in for a win. 401 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,740 Yeah, but... Okay, but if you won... 402 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,340 how am I gonna win? Yeah. 403 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:09,040 - Think about it. - No, I was thinking about it. 404 00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:11,340 I mean, it's not like you're finishing 18th. 405 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,540 - There's nothing wrong with silver. - Nothing wrong with silver at all. 406 00:23:14,740 --> 00:23:17,040 I'm just kidding you, man. I don't wanna win. 407 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,840 I'll just bury it down inside. 408 00:23:21,140 --> 00:23:23,740 Bury it deep down in there, and never bring it up again. 409 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,240 It's painful, and I love you! 410 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,240 Get her a gigolo. 411 00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:31,140 - What? - A guy to have sex with her. 412 00:23:31,340 --> 00:23:33,240 No, she's gonna be 88 and... 413 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,040 You don't stop liking sex when you're old. 414 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,440 Well, I was thinking more along the line of... 415 00:23:40,740 --> 00:23:45,240 - Like, she likes afghans and quilts. - She's probably got a million of those. 416 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,440 How many dudes does she have coming over to have sex with her? 417 00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:51,740 - None. - Exactly. 418 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:54,140 Be thoughtful, Glenn. 419 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,040 Don't stop. 420 00:24:03,940 --> 00:24:04,840 What is that? 421 00:24:05,140 --> 00:24:07,540 Someone made a tape of something dying or something. 422 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,640 Hey, turn that crap off. What's going on? 423 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,740 I want this music out of my head. 424 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,540 Hey, turn that off! 425 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:15,940 Turn that off right now! 426 00:24:21,540 --> 00:24:24,240 Why did you stop the jazz music? 427 00:24:25,940 --> 00:24:28,240 Was it not pleasant for you? 428 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,340 No one plays jazz here at The Pit Stop, okay? 429 00:24:31,540 --> 00:24:33,940 So why is the song on the jukebox? 430 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,340 We keep it on there for profiling purposes. 431 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,540 We also got the Pet Shop Boys and Seal. 432 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,340 My name is Jean Girard... 433 00:24:44,540 --> 00:24:48,040 and I am a racing-car driver just like you... 434 00:24:48,340 --> 00:24:51,340 except I am from Formula Un. 435 00:24:52,940 --> 00:24:55,840 I am the greatest one in the whole world. 436 00:24:56,040 --> 00:25:01,440 I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby. 437 00:25:01,740 --> 00:25:04,240 I can't understand a word you've said the whole time. 438 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,240 Did you eat peanut butter or something? 439 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,340 You sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth. 440 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:13,140 I think what you are hearing is my accent. 441 00:25:13,340 --> 00:25:15,840 I am French. 442 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,540 You say you're French? 443 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,540 We? No, we are not French. 444 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,940 We're American, because you're in America, okay? 445 00:25:25,140 --> 00:25:26,640 Greatest country on the planet. 446 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,640 Well, what have you given the world... 447 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,840 apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster? 448 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,040 - Chinese food? - Chinese food. 449 00:25:35,340 --> 00:25:36,540 That's from China. 450 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,840 - Pizza. - Italy. 451 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,440 - Chimichanga. - Mexican. 452 00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:44,340 Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us? 453 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,740 We invented democracy, existentialism... 454 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,240 and the blowjob. 455 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,340 - Those are three pretty good things. - Hey. 456 00:25:53,540 --> 00:25:55,040 Well, that last one's pretty cool. 457 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,940 You know, the 69 with the head near the... That bit. 458 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:01,340 We came up with it. 459 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,940 We created the missionary position. 460 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,740 - You're welcome. - Ricky Bobby... 461 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,040 I have come here to defeat you. 462 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,040 Oh, well, there's strikes two and three right there. 463 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,240 Did you hear what he just said? 464 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,740 Well, welcome to America, amigo. 465 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,840 You are fast, Ricky Bobby... 466 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,240 but I am faster. 467 00:26:30,540 --> 00:26:34,140 All right, you let go of me, you Formula One jazz nutjob! 468 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,840 Like the frightened baby chipmunk... 469 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,840 you are scared by anything that is different. 470 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,440 I will let you go, Ricky... 471 00:26:42,540 --> 00:26:46,840 but first I want you to say: 472 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,740 "I love crepes." 473 00:26:52,540 --> 00:26:55,440 Don't you say it, Ricky. These colors don't run. 474 00:26:55,540 --> 00:26:57,340 - I'm not gonna say it. - Good. 475 00:26:57,540 --> 00:26:59,540 Hey, look, Frenchy, I thought about it. 476 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,040 So why don't you go ahead and break my arm? 477 00:27:02,340 --> 00:27:05,340 I do not want to break your arm, Monsieur Bobby... 478 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,140 but I am a man of my word. 479 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,440 Here's the deal. He's not gonna break it... 480 00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:12,040 because I'm gonna slip out of it right now. Houdini. 481 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:13,540 Get down, you little pancake. 482 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,240 Someone get me a beer while I'm here. 483 00:27:15,540 --> 00:27:17,540 But you have forced me to do this. 484 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,540 You are now mocking me and making me look ridiculous. 485 00:27:20,740 --> 00:27:22,440 Just say, "I love crepes." 486 00:27:22,540 --> 00:27:26,440 You know, just to put this in there, I had a whole mess of crepes this morning. 487 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,540 They're like pancakes, maybe even better. 488 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,440 - Are they the really thin pancakes? - Yeah. 489 00:27:31,540 --> 00:27:34,540 They are the really thin pancakes. It's just a French word for them. 490 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,340 - My God, I love those. - Put any syrups you want on them. 491 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,340 - I'm saying, think about it. - They come with cheese sometimes? 492 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,340 Yes, of course, a fromage-crepe. 493 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,440 Well, why didn't someone yell that right away? 494 00:27:44,740 --> 00:27:46,340 You know what's in the crepe Suzette? 495 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,640 - Oh, I love the crepe Suzette. - With the sugar... 496 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,440 and lemon juice, Grand Marnier. Sugar and lemon juice. 497 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,240 I wish I could crawl into one of those right now. 498 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:58,040 - I'd eat my way out from the inside. - They are tasty. 499 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,640 Either way this goes, could we get some after we're done? 500 00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:03,540 - Absolutely. We're gonna do that. - So, what if you just said: 501 00:28:03,740 --> 00:28:08,040 "I love really thin pancakes"? That is a fair compromise, no? 502 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,340 - That is a fair compromise. - Very fair, actually. 503 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,340 No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crepes. 504 00:28:13,540 --> 00:28:15,040 That's a pretty good compromise. 505 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,140 Why do you want me to break your arm so badly? 506 00:28:18,340 --> 00:28:21,440 You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. 507 00:28:21,540 --> 00:28:23,540 You don't understand freedom. 508 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:27,440 So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell. 509 00:28:27,740 --> 00:28:30,540 Hey. This is just between you and me, okay? 510 00:28:30,740 --> 00:28:32,940 I mean, forget all these other guys. 511 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,840 But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it's your call. 512 00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:37,740 What do you think? 513 00:28:38,540 --> 00:28:40,440 - Don't say it. - Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. 514 00:28:40,540 --> 00:28:42,040 Break it, Pepe Le Pew. 515 00:28:42,540 --> 00:28:43,640 As you wish. 516 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,840 - He actually did it! - All right. You did it. Back off. 517 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,040 - I didn't say it! - No, you did not. 518 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,640 Your injury is one of ignorance and pride. 519 00:28:58,940 --> 00:29:01,540 Hold it right there, Mr. Fancy Pants Foreigner. 520 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,140 You just broke my bro's arm. 521 00:29:03,340 --> 00:29:04,840 Now you're about to get Tasered. 522 00:29:06,340 --> 00:29:09,040 - Say hello to Dr. Watts. - Get him, Cal. 523 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,340 I need you all to step away... 524 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:14,840 from my driver. 525 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,040 The hell you talking about, "my driver"? What are you doing with a gun? 526 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,640 Don't you worry about my gun, Ricky. 527 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,740 Jean Girard is my new boy at Dennit Racing. He's here to win us... 528 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,640 an overall-points championship, something you apparently... 529 00:29:26,940 --> 00:29:29,540 have no interest in. He's gonna usher in a new era. 530 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,440 Mr. Dennit, with all due respect... 531 00:29:31,540 --> 00:29:33,840 And remember, I'm saying, "with all due respect." 532 00:29:34,140 --> 00:29:38,540 That idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on. 533 00:29:38,740 --> 00:29:41,840 That's good. That's good fun. That's good fun, Ricky... 534 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,940 but that doesn't bother me anymore because Jean is the future... 535 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:46,440 Ricky, the past. 536 00:29:46,740 --> 00:29:48,940 So, Jean, introduce me to your new teammates. 537 00:29:49,540 --> 00:29:53,540 Everybody, this is my husband, Gregory. 538 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,540 What? 539 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,240 See you at the track. 540 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:00,340 Did he just say "husband"? 541 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:04,940 Sweet Lord. Dennit hired a gay Frenchman as your teammate. 542 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,540 The room's starting to spin real fast. 543 00:30:08,340 --> 00:30:11,040 Because of gayness. 544 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,040 - Cal, I love you. - Ricky? Ricky! Oh, God! 545 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:30,040 Fans and NASCAR, everyone is talking about this new driver, Jean Girard. 546 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,640 Let's find out a little bit more about him from our reporter, Davey Wesling. 547 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,540 Talented. Eccentric. Dominating. 548 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,240 These are the words that define Jean Girard. 549 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:46,340 Before each race, Jean Girard spends time with his world-class horses... 550 00:30:46,540 --> 00:30:48,540 who are also gay. 551 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,240 Jean's days are filled with sun-drenched walks... 552 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,440 with his beloved husband, Gregory. 553 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,340 Though Gregory is no stay-at-home spouse. 554 00:30:57,540 --> 00:31:00,440 He's a world-class trainer of German shepherds. 555 00:31:00,540 --> 00:31:02,840 Rolfe, the Nazi boyfriend. Up on top! 556 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,440 Very nice. Very nice. 557 00:31:07,940 --> 00:31:11,640 Only time will tell if Jean's foray into NAS CAR... 558 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,940 will end up in Victory Lane. 559 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,840 Well, kiss my ass on Sunday. 560 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,040 - Lucius, what the hell is going on? - The man can drive. 561 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,040 And check out his crew chief over there. 562 00:31:42,340 --> 00:31:44,540 Won the Nobel Prize for physics back in '93. 563 00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,640 Ladies and gentlemen, that is a new track record. 564 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:51,440 As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole, which is, of course... 565 00:31:51,540 --> 00:31:53,840 a statement of fact and in no way a comment... 566 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,840 on the driver's sexual orientation. 567 00:31:56,140 --> 00:31:58,840 Put a smile on your face? That's the future of Dennit Racing. 568 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,440 - That make you happy? - I'm just thrilled, Mr. Dennit. 569 00:32:01,540 --> 00:32:03,640 I love seeing some French guy break my record... 570 00:32:03,940 --> 00:32:06,740 while I got my arm wrapped up like a fricking gordita. 571 00:32:06,940 --> 00:32:08,440 Hello, Ricky Bobby. 572 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:13,940 What happened last week was very regrettable and unfortunate... 573 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,740 and, as a gesture, I would like to... 574 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,440 sign your cast, please. 575 00:32:19,540 --> 00:32:22,340 Hell, you know what, get my car off the trailer, guys. 576 00:32:22,540 --> 00:32:24,140 Baby! That's my baby! 577 00:32:24,340 --> 00:32:27,540 Hold on, Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Rick. What are you talking about? 578 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,340 Look. I wanna drive. My arm's fine. So let's get the car off the trailer. 579 00:32:31,540 --> 00:32:33,440 Don't look at me. Get it off the trailer! 580 00:32:33,740 --> 00:32:37,740 Even with a healthy arm, you don't have a chance against Jean Girard. 581 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,940 All right, fellas. You heard the man. Get the car off. Let's go. 582 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:42,640 You guys heard it. 583 00:32:43,340 --> 00:32:46,340 - What's going on? - Soon you will know what it is like... 584 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:51,140 to be defeated by the hands of somebody who is truly better than you. 585 00:32:52,940 --> 00:32:56,740 As William Blake wrote, "The cut worm forgives the plow." 586 00:32:56,940 --> 00:32:59,840 Well, let me just quote the late, great Colonel Sanders... 587 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:03,540 who said, "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken." 588 00:33:03,740 --> 00:33:05,640 What's that got to do with this? 589 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:09,440 I got a message for all of them. Ready? Shake and Bake! 590 00:33:09,740 --> 00:33:13,240 What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened! 591 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,640 What is that, a catch phrase or is that epilepsy? 592 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,440 - Shake and Bake. Shake and Bake. - What? 593 00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:24,340 Listen, you better be careful because tomorrow you're going to get beaten. 594 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,540 Beaten real bad, cowboy. 595 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,240 - Really? - Yes! 596 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,440 - I don't want to know. - That's news to me. 597 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:34,040 - Tomorrow you'll be in trouble. - I'll rip you a new one. 598 00:33:34,540 --> 00:33:37,540 There's going to be a croissant I'm going to take away. 599 00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:38,840 I play for keeps! 600 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,240 I give you one option, Monsieur Bobby. 601 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,440 As a sign of humility, if you kiss me on the lips now... 602 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,340 I will return to Paris and you will never see me again in NASCAR. 603 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:50,940 The answer is never! 604 00:33:51,140 --> 00:33:53,740 - I close my... - Do you hear me? Never ever! 605 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,640 - Well, yes or no? - That's sick. 606 00:33:59,540 --> 00:34:02,540 Let me tell you, hold on. Shake and Bake. 607 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:03,940 Yeah! 608 00:34:04,140 --> 00:34:05,940 What does that mean? It makes no sense! 609 00:34:06,140 --> 00:34:07,840 This "Shake and Bake," it's nonsense. 610 00:34:08,140 --> 00:34:11,440 - Hey, baby. You guys are so smooth. - Thanks, darling. 611 00:34:11,540 --> 00:34:14,540 Cal, you could say that 10,000 times and it still wouldn't be enough. 612 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,040 - It fires me up. - I love it. Say it one more time. 613 00:34:17,240 --> 00:34:19,240 - Shake and Bake! - Doesn't that feel good? 614 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:23,440 Yeah! It rhymes, they're both verbs. It's awesome. 615 00:34:46,340 --> 00:34:49,040 NAS CAR on Fox welcomes you to Lowe's Motor Speedway... 616 00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:51,640 where tonight we'll go 500 miles. 617 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:56,240 The big stories tonight are at both ends of the grid. 618 00:34:56,440 --> 00:35:00,440 Up front, Larry, the surprising French Formula One driver, Jean Girard. 619 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:05,140 And at the opposite end of the grid, Darrell, Ricky Bobby. 620 00:35:05,340 --> 00:35:08,440 I saw Ricky Bobby last night walking around with a cast on his arm. 621 00:35:08,540 --> 00:35:11,540 Now, I don't know who he conned into letting him start this race. 622 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:13,440 Just keep a camera on him all night long. 623 00:35:15,140 --> 00:35:16,540 I am so excited. 624 00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,340 This is a new era for Dennit Racing, huh? 625 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:24,440 So serious all the time about your big race team. 626 00:35:24,540 --> 00:35:28,140 - Who cares? - But this is my life. This is my life. 627 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,840 You know what? There's only one good thing about coming to the races... 628 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:35,840 and that is the vibrations from the cars. 629 00:35:36,140 --> 00:35:39,940 Oh, I love when them cars whiz by. 630 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,640 Can feel the motor... 631 00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,140 running up my legs. 632 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,240 Ricky Bobby, who never met a sponsor he wouldn't push... 633 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,340 has a Fig Newton sticker on his windshield. 634 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,440 Think NAS CAR will black-flag him for that. 635 00:35:55,540 --> 00:35:56,940 He sold the windshield! 636 00:35:57,240 --> 00:36:00,840 This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I love Fig Newtons. 637 00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,540 Ricky Bobby started this race in the back... 638 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,040 but he's making no friends on the way to the front. 639 00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,840 I'm all about getting to the front tonight, Lucius. Let's go! Let's move it! 640 00:36:11,140 --> 00:36:13,040 Well, he's driving like a man possessed. 641 00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:17,040 I'm not even sure he realizes how much damage he's doing to his car. 642 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:24,240 Hey, Ricky. You know you're driving like a pissed-off teenager, okay? 643 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,140 Where is that Frenchy? 644 00:36:30,540 --> 00:36:32,340 I got you, Pepe Le Bitch. 645 00:36:33,940 --> 00:36:35,640 Oh, Ricky Bobby. 646 00:36:37,540 --> 00:36:39,540 Hey, it's me, America. 647 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,140 Yeah, I'm here. 648 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,740 You have spilled my macchiato. 649 00:36:49,540 --> 00:36:50,740 Look at Girard in the 55. 650 00:36:50,940 --> 00:36:54,840 He's made that car three lanes wide, but he's still fast. 651 00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:58,740 No, no, no, my friend. This way also closed. Not this way. 652 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,540 Lucius, what's he doing? He's everywhere at once. 653 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,140 Guy's dangerous, Ricky. He's like a cobra. Back off! 654 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,440 Where's Cal? I need a little support here! 655 00:37:09,540 --> 00:37:11,040 Tell Ricky I'm on my way. 656 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,240 Damn it! 657 00:37:18,540 --> 00:37:20,140 Hey, Ricky, listen. 658 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:26,240 Cal blew out his engine. You have no backup. Back off! 659 00:37:26,540 --> 00:37:29,540 I ain't backing off. I'm Ricky Bobby, I'm the best there is. 660 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,440 He's too good, Ricky. Lay off! 661 00:37:33,540 --> 00:37:35,540 Bobby's boxed in. There's nowhere to go there. 662 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:41,440 He's gonna try the outside move again. I don't know if it's gonna work. 663 00:37:41,540 --> 00:37:43,240 Come on, Daddy! 664 00:37:43,540 --> 00:37:45,140 Come on, Daddy! Whoop his butt! 665 00:37:45,340 --> 00:37:47,840 Send that weird man back to Indonesia. 666 00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:53,540 - Come on! - Bobby moves to the outside. 667 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:55,540 Not a lot of room. He's in the wall! 668 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,840 Bobby is sliding, slamming into the wall. 669 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:05,840 He's airborne! 670 00:38:07,740 --> 00:38:10,340 Yep. I'm flying through the air. This is not good. 671 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:13,240 - Ricky! - Cool! 672 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,140 Ricky! 673 00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:32,540 Peaches and cream! 674 00:38:36,140 --> 00:38:38,640 The car comes to rest in a big cloud of smoke. 675 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:40,740 Ricky Bobby appears to be okay... 676 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,440 but that Wonder Bread car is toast. 677 00:38:43,540 --> 00:38:45,340 Fantastic. 678 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,140 Oh, my God! Ricky! 679 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,440 Hakuna matata, bitches. 680 00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,940 It's okay, guys, it's just a wreck. Ricky can handle it. 681 00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:04,540 Now, that's one of the nastiest wrecks you'll ever see. 682 00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:06,840 Oh, no, no, no. 683 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,040 It's all right. You're safe. 684 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:11,140 - You're safe. - We got you. We're here. 685 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:12,640 I'm on fire. 686 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,140 It's all right. It's all right, you're not on fire! 687 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:19,140 - You're lying! I'm on fire! - There is no fire. 688 00:39:19,340 --> 00:39:21,840 - I'm on fire. I don't wanna die. - Come back here. 689 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:25,640 But something looks wrong. I mean, he's running around like he's on fire. 690 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,540 Oh, my God! Help me! I don't wanna die! Stop, drop, and roll! 691 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:33,240 - You're not on fire, Ricky Bobby! - I'm on fire! 692 00:39:33,540 --> 00:39:34,840 You're not on fire. 693 00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:38,340 But I'm not even sure he even knows where he's at right now. 694 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:43,440 This makes us all realize the kind of pressure these drivers are under. 695 00:39:43,540 --> 00:39:45,040 Mr. Bobby, come on down here. 696 00:39:45,340 --> 00:39:48,840 Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! 697 00:39:49,140 --> 00:39:50,640 Help me, Allah! 698 00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:53,340 Help me, Tom Cruise! 699 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,140 But how did he get down to his underwear that fast? 700 00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,540 Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me! 701 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,040 Look. Here, help's coming. 702 00:40:01,340 --> 00:40:03,040 - Wait a minute! - It's Cal Naughton. 703 00:40:04,140 --> 00:40:07,440 Oh, God! Please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend! 704 00:40:08,540 --> 00:40:12,040 I got you! I got you, man! I'll help you! 705 00:40:12,340 --> 00:40:16,040 He's jumping on Ricky, trying to put the nonexistent fire out. 706 00:40:16,240 --> 00:40:17,740 Now, that's a teammate right there. 707 00:40:17,940 --> 00:40:19,540 This is going downhill fast. 708 00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,540 It would be a great time to go to commercial break. 709 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:24,840 Help me, Oprah Winfrey! 710 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:30,640 You know, Larry, there's good days in racing, and there's bad days. 711 00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:34,140 Ricky Bobby just had himself a bad day. 712 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,140 He's suffering from catatonic shock. 713 00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:47,840 His injuries are minor, but right now he can't deal with the trauma of the wreck. 714 00:40:48,140 --> 00:40:51,240 Golly, this is a hard decision. 715 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:56,340 But I have thought about it, and I want the plug pulled. 716 00:40:56,540 --> 00:40:57,840 Yeah. 717 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,340 Ma'am, your husband's not dying. 718 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:02,740 He's just taking a nap. 719 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:05,240 - Just look at him. - No, I'm not lying. 720 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,640 I've never seen him make that noise. Ever. 721 00:41:09,140 --> 00:41:11,340 Got more plugs in him than a Circuit City. 722 00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:16,240 Oh, baby. Mama loves you so much. 723 00:41:16,940 --> 00:41:20,440 Hey, Ricky. It's me, Cal. 724 00:41:20,740 --> 00:41:25,040 Just want you to know, I got your back, bro. No matter what. 725 00:41:25,940 --> 00:41:28,440 There's something I want to get off my chest... 726 00:41:28,540 --> 00:41:32,440 and it's about that summer when you went away to community college. 727 00:41:32,540 --> 00:41:36,240 I got a offer to do Playgirl magazine... 728 00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:38,840 and I did it. 729 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:42,240 I did a full spread for Playgirl magazine. 730 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,640 I mean spread, man. I pulled my butt apart and stuff... 731 00:41:47,340 --> 00:41:51,240 and I was totally nude, and it was weird. 732 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,140 You probably didn't hear about it... 733 00:41:53,340 --> 00:41:55,540 because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. 734 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,440 But I just wanted you to know that. 735 00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:01,440 If you could hear me, if it got into your brain somehow... 736 00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,840 that I spread my butt cheeks as Mike Honcho. 737 00:42:04,140 --> 00:42:06,940 "Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. 738 00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:11,040 Gretchen, my friend, got her period. I'm so jealous, God. 739 00:42:11,340 --> 00:42:14,240 I hate myself for being so jealous, but I am. 740 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,540 I wish you'd help me just a little. 741 00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:21,340 Nancy's sure she's going to get it soon too. And if I'm last..." 742 00:42:21,740 --> 00:42:24,540 Hey, Ricky. Ricky! 743 00:42:24,940 --> 00:42:26,740 Come on, man, wake up. 744 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:28,640 Are you faking it? 745 00:42:31,540 --> 00:42:35,440 Are you faking it? Fake it! 746 00:42:39,940 --> 00:42:43,440 I don't know how much longer I can take seeing you like this. 747 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:48,040 I am not gonna let you die here... 748 00:42:48,340 --> 00:42:50,240 like some kind of vegetable. 749 00:42:50,540 --> 00:42:52,640 I'm gonna put an end to this right now. 750 00:42:52,940 --> 00:42:54,540 Get all this crap off you. 751 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,840 You don't need any of this crap. 752 00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,240 This is it. This is how it ends. 753 00:43:02,540 --> 00:43:03,940 This is how Shake and Bake ends. 754 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:06,840 It's shadow time, buddy. 755 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,840 It's time to go home to Jesus. 756 00:43:12,740 --> 00:43:14,640 Goodbye, buddy. 757 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,540 Oh, wow, you definitely... 758 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,140 You definitely still got some fight in you. 759 00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:27,640 Okay, maybe we give this another day. 760 00:43:28,540 --> 00:43:31,440 Middle. I'll go up to the middle. Let's play some defense! 761 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,440 I just wanna say thanks, doc, for taking care of our boy here. 762 00:43:36,740 --> 00:43:39,840 - Oh, shit. - That's a foul! That's a foul! 763 00:43:40,140 --> 00:43:41,540 Doc, give it to me straight. 764 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,940 Is he ever gonna be able to walk again? 765 00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:47,040 Oh, I'm sorry, I thought someone had told you. He's fine. 766 00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:48,940 He found that wheelchair in the hallway. 767 00:43:49,140 --> 00:43:52,040 His paralysis is entirely psychosomatic. 768 00:43:52,240 --> 00:43:55,840 But we all need to go along with this, because he's in a delicate state. 769 00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:59,440 So when you say psychosomatic, you mean, like... 770 00:43:59,740 --> 00:44:02,240 he could start a fire with his thoughts? 771 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,440 No, not at all. It means it's all in his mind. 772 00:44:04,540 --> 00:44:08,340 I'm saying, sometimes you get a knock on the head, you get special powers. 773 00:44:08,540 --> 00:44:10,840 It happens all the time. Read a comic book, okay? 774 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:12,540 Everyone's real friendly. 775 00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:15,640 It doesn't hurt being Ricky Bobby. I'm not gonna lie to you. 776 00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,440 So how's the physical therapy going? 777 00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,540 Oh, I gave that up. Yeah, I gave that up... 778 00:44:20,740 --> 00:44:23,840 after maybe the first day. Within the first hour, I gave that up. 779 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,140 I'm through lying to myself, you know? 780 00:44:26,340 --> 00:44:29,740 It's time to be mature about this and just face facts. 781 00:44:29,940 --> 00:44:32,440 I bought myself a hundred-thousand-dollar... 782 00:44:32,540 --> 00:44:33,940 handicap-accessible van... 783 00:44:34,140 --> 00:44:37,840 with the captain's chairs and the DVD plasma screens in the back for the kids. 784 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,457 - You all paid up on that? - Yeah. That's all paid in full. 785 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:43,640 It's parked out there. And then the next thing I gotta do... 786 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:47,840 is I just gotta have a sit-down with Carley and just let her know... 787 00:44:49,340 --> 00:44:54,040 that it's okay for her to seek the comfort of other men. 788 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:58,340 Because she's gotta run wild. You can't keep something like that back. 789 00:44:58,440 --> 00:44:59,840 Hold on, man. Hold... 790 00:45:00,540 --> 00:45:02,340 - We gotta tell him. - Now? 791 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,340 No, I don't care what the doctor said, we gotta tell him now. 792 00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,040 Ricky, the doctor told us... 793 00:45:07,340 --> 00:45:10,040 that we should let you work it out in your own sweet time... 794 00:45:10,240 --> 00:45:11,440 but, Ricky, you can walk. 795 00:45:11,740 --> 00:45:13,540 What did you just say? 796 00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,740 He's telling you the truth, man. It's all in your head. 797 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,440 You sick sons of bitches! 798 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,440 I mean, you walk in that door... 799 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:28,140 on your two legs, all fat and cocky... 800 00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:32,840 and looking at me in my chair, and you tell me it's all in my head? 801 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,040 I hope that both of you have sons. 802 00:45:35,340 --> 00:45:40,240 Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons who are talented and star athletes... 803 00:45:40,540 --> 00:45:42,340 and they have their legs taken away! 804 00:45:42,540 --> 00:45:44,440 I pray you know that pain and that hurt. 805 00:45:44,540 --> 00:45:46,840 Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! 806 00:45:47,140 --> 00:45:51,540 Don't you put that on us! You are not paralyzed! 807 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,440 I am so paralyzed! 808 00:45:53,540 --> 00:45:57,040 - No, no, no! No, he needs to know! - Getting a little rough on him. 809 00:45:57,240 --> 00:45:59,540 - He's always crying! - Tough love, it is. Tough love. 810 00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:02,540 - Wake up, idiot! - You wanna know what I am?! 811 00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,140 You wanna see what my life is?! 812 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:06,440 Don't do it. 813 00:46:06,740 --> 00:46:10,740 - You wanna see what's going on here? - Don't you stick that knife in your leg. 814 00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,040 - Man! - Hold on, hold on. 815 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,540 - Hold on, now. Walk it off. - Oh, that hurts. 816 00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:27,040 - Oh, my...! - Walk it off. 817 00:46:27,240 --> 00:46:29,040 Stretch, stretch. Stretch it out. 818 00:46:29,240 --> 00:46:31,640 Hey, man. You can walk! You can walk! 819 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:33,540 I can walk! 820 00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:36,540 - I think I touched a nerve. - Right there. 821 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,440 All right, we got it, we got it. Hold it right there. 822 00:46:39,540 --> 00:46:40,940 Maybe don't touch it. 823 00:46:41,140 --> 00:46:43,040 - Can you feel it? - I can! 824 00:46:43,340 --> 00:46:45,549 We'll use this knife to pry it out. We'll pull it out. 825 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,440 - Now we got two in there. - Just don't think about it. 826 00:46:48,540 --> 00:46:50,840 - We're going down a bad path. - Cut around the meat. 827 00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:52,740 I'll cut right here. Stretch it out. 828 00:46:52,940 --> 00:46:55,240 Just take out a plug of meat. Just like a deer. 829 00:46:55,540 --> 00:46:58,240 We gotta wiggle it a little bit. That's it. Can you feel that? 830 00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,240 - Yeah, I feel that. - You are back! 831 00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:01,940 I love you guys! 832 00:47:02,540 --> 00:47:06,340 Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I mean, I hope your boys don't lose their legs. 833 00:47:06,540 --> 00:47:09,640 - Thanks, buddy. - So when do I get to drive again? 834 00:47:09,940 --> 00:47:12,940 Well, that's the thing. The doctor said you suffered major trauma... 835 00:47:13,140 --> 00:47:15,540 and he thinks you should take it slow for a while. 836 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:19,440 Yeah, so, I was thinking, like, while you're resting up and stuff... 837 00:47:19,540 --> 00:47:22,440 maybe you could let me win a few. Well, there you go. 838 00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,440 Yeah, that ain't gonna happen. 839 00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:28,040 Yeah. I'm Ricky Bobby. I mean, you know how I play it. 840 00:47:28,240 --> 00:47:30,340 - Yeah. - First or last, right, baby? 841 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,940 - Don't know what I was thinking. - Besides... 842 00:47:33,240 --> 00:47:36,040 Dennit Jr. Must be freaking out. All the money he's losing? 843 00:47:36,240 --> 00:47:37,740 Without me on the track? 844 00:47:37,940 --> 00:47:39,240 I mean, I just laugh... 845 00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,340 thinking about him whining all the time, bitching and moaning: 846 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,440 "Damn, I wish Ricky was here." 847 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:46,240 You know what I mean? 848 00:47:50,140 --> 00:47:52,140 What? 849 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:54,740 Frenchy can drive. 850 00:47:58,440 --> 00:47:59,840 Oh, no. 851 00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,440 Very good. 852 00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:31,840 C'est la vie and Que sera, sera. 853 00:48:32,140 --> 00:48:35,140 It looks like the NASCAR has gone French. 854 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:37,099 Well, in other news, Ricky Bobby... 855 00:48:37,240 --> 00:48:40,340 is going to be running some test laps this weekend at Rockingham... 856 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:42,765 in an attempt to come back from his grisly crash. 857 00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,440 It's one of the hardest things to do in racing. 858 00:48:46,540 --> 00:48:49,340 To try to bounce back after a devastating, violent wreck. 859 00:48:49,540 --> 00:48:51,840 Ricky Bobby was traumatized during the incident. 860 00:48:52,140 --> 00:48:53,340 All right, baby. Come on, now. 861 00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,840 But today he gets to strap back into a racecar for the first time since... 862 00:48:57,140 --> 00:48:59,240 to try to show he can still get the job done. 863 00:48:59,540 --> 00:49:02,640 - He's gonna be great. Yep. - He's gonna be great, sure. 864 00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,540 Would you stop staring at me like that, Susan? I swear... 865 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:08,340 you are the weirdest little girl I've ever seen. 866 00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:11,240 Okay, I'm really gonna open it up! 867 00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,440 I missed you, Mama Speed. Ricky Bobby's back. 868 00:49:17,540 --> 00:49:19,340 Wait, how fast is he going? 869 00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,140 Twenty-six miles an hour. 870 00:49:23,540 --> 00:49:26,940 What were those things? Were those the other cars? 871 00:49:32,540 --> 00:49:34,940 Oh, God. So fast. 872 00:49:35,140 --> 00:49:36,840 Go, baby! There you are. 873 00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:38,840 Am I on fire? I'm on fire. 874 00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,040 - No, no, you're not on fire. - Stretch it out. 875 00:49:41,240 --> 00:49:42,740 - It's okay, baby. - Take it easy. 876 00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,040 - Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick. - Oh, God. 877 00:49:47,340 --> 00:49:51,040 - Oh, he's in his underwear again. - Ricky! Please put your clothes on. 878 00:49:51,340 --> 00:49:53,440 He's in his underwear again. Go get him, fellas. 879 00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:54,940 Oh, Lord. 880 00:49:55,240 --> 00:49:58,040 You know who's gonna be number one at Dennit Racing? 881 00:49:58,740 --> 00:50:01,540 - Not Ricky? - I'm gonna windmill you. 882 00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,540 Mr. Cal Naughton Jr. 883 00:50:04,740 --> 00:50:07,440 - Come back at him. It's the only way. - Who are you? 884 00:50:07,540 --> 00:50:09,240 - Number one. - No. 885 00:50:09,540 --> 00:50:12,840 - Oh, yes, ma'am. - Ricky! Come on, man! 886 00:50:13,140 --> 00:50:14,540 It's embarrassing. 887 00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:18,440 The ninjas are trying to get me. The ninjas are trying to get me. 888 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,540 - Oh, my God. - What happened? 889 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,040 What happened? He's done. He's done. 890 00:50:23,340 --> 00:50:25,740 That's what's happened. It's over. He's finished. 891 00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:27,540 What's gonna happen to me? 892 00:50:27,740 --> 00:50:30,740 I feel like I was riding inside an asteroid or a comet or something. 893 00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,040 Yeah, you were going fast. 894 00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:35,340 - Look at that. - What are we gonna do? 895 00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:38,040 This is ugly. This is bad for all of us. Look at that. 896 00:50:38,340 --> 00:50:41,240 - I gotta go check on cuckoo bird. - No, cuckoo's okay. 897 00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:44,140 Why don't you get over there and settle down Carley for me? 898 00:50:44,340 --> 00:50:46,340 - Could you do that for me? - Yes, sir. 899 00:50:46,440 --> 00:50:48,040 There you go. 900 00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:51,340 What began as a day of hope and optimism... 901 00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:54,840 for Ricky Bobby and his race team has ended here in sad disappointment. 902 00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:56,340 There we go, boy. 903 00:50:56,540 --> 00:50:58,340 - I lost all muscle control. - Yeah, you did. 904 00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,940 - He just lost his muscle control is all. - I lost my muscle control. 905 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,640 He's fine. He just can't control the muscles. 906 00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,540 - Thanks for the lift, Hershell. - Yeah, no problem. 907 00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:24,640 Jenga! 908 00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:27,940 I love you, Cal. 909 00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:31,740 - Good one, kiddo. - What the hell's going on? 910 00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,140 Hey, Ricky, nice of you to stop by for a visit. 911 00:51:34,340 --> 00:51:37,140 What do you mean, a visit? This is my house. 912 00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:38,840 Baby... 913 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,240 shoot. I'm so sorry. 914 00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:43,540 I really... I didn't want it to be this way. 915 00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:46,240 Hey, what happened to the family portrait? 916 00:51:46,940 --> 00:51:49,140 You just crudely pasted your face over mine. 917 00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,240 We're getting married, Ricky. 918 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,840 And we're getting matching leprechaun tattoos. 919 00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:55,940 Isn't that cute? With a little pot of gold. 920 00:51:56,240 --> 00:51:58,340 Is this some kind of joke? You guys putting me on? 921 00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:02,440 I was gone three hours. Dennit just fired me from the team. 922 00:52:03,340 --> 00:52:04,640 Ricky, you and I... 923 00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,540 we both know that this marriage has been over for a long, long time. 924 00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:11,440 No! I honestly did not know that! 925 00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:16,340 Ricky, you can't race no more. 926 00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:21,440 I'm not going back to being poor and dancing at the Wizard's Den. 927 00:52:21,540 --> 00:52:23,340 You know, my old boyfriend Greg? 928 00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,640 He still works there and he was crazy. 929 00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:27,840 Baby, stop. 930 00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:32,440 Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Just a second. Let me make sure I got this straight. 931 00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:35,140 Are you asking me for a divorce? 932 00:52:35,340 --> 00:52:37,840 - Yay! Two Christmases! - Yay! Two Christmases! 933 00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:39,840 Cal? 934 00:52:40,140 --> 00:52:41,940 How could you do this to me, man? 935 00:52:42,140 --> 00:52:45,640 Ricky, your marriage was a hollow shell. 936 00:52:45,940 --> 00:52:47,540 It was a cruel charade. 937 00:52:47,740 --> 00:52:49,840 She just gave me the 411 on the whole deal. 938 00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,540 And you know what else? You never let me win one time. 939 00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:56,040 I thought we had a good thing going. Shake and Bake. 940 00:52:56,240 --> 00:52:58,940 You're doing great. You just keep it up. Keep it up. 941 00:52:59,140 --> 00:53:02,140 And Mr. Dennit told me that it's my time now. 942 00:53:02,340 --> 00:53:04,340 - Oh, really? - That Shake and Bake is dead. 943 00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:07,040 And we just came up with a new nickname. 944 00:53:07,340 --> 00:53:09,640 - It's so good. It's so good. - I got a new nickname. 945 00:53:09,940 --> 00:53:12,740 The Magic Man. Now you see me... 946 00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:15,140 now you don't. 947 00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:17,540 That is the stupidest nickname I've ever heard. 948 00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:19,340 Is it, Ricky? 949 00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:21,840 Because I think you wish you thought of it. 950 00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:26,540 All right. You got me. That's an awesome nickname. 951 00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,740 I've always had a lot of great ideas. 952 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:32,940 I also think I might design a car that's in the shape of a rabbit. 953 00:53:33,240 --> 00:53:36,740 It might poop out little real rabbits out the back that'll run around the track. 954 00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:39,340 You have live rabbits being pooped out onto a track? 955 00:53:39,540 --> 00:53:42,240 If I win, I might do a special thing with David Copperfield... 956 00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:44,640 where he hides in my car in the passenger seat... 957 00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,140 and he just flings magic stuff out the window. 958 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:49,240 Did you run any of this by NASCAR? 959 00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:53,040 Watch the mail for that invitation to the wedding, because I want you there. 960 00:53:53,240 --> 00:53:54,540 - What?! - I know it... 961 00:53:54,640 --> 00:53:57,540 that some bad stuff happened just now, but in time... 962 00:53:57,640 --> 00:53:59,540 The wedding's not for a couple of weeks. 963 00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,440 Why would I come to your guys' wedding? 964 00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,640 You're gonna get over it and be my best man. 965 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,340 I'm not gonna be your best man! 966 00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:07,440 Baby, he's not gonna come to the wedding. 967 00:54:07,540 --> 00:54:11,540 Cal, do you realize the implications of your actions right now? 968 00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,240 What's "implication" mean? 969 00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:14,740 We are no longer friends. 970 00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,640 - Why? - What do you mean, "Why?" 971 00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:19,940 You're wrecking my life! 972 00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:22,840 You just lost your wife. You just lost your job. 973 00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,640 Don't throw out your best friend because of your anger. 974 00:54:26,340 --> 00:54:29,440 - That's absolutely ridiculous, man. - Ricky... 975 00:54:29,540 --> 00:54:34,440 remember, the field mouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. 976 00:54:38,340 --> 00:54:40,040 That's kind of creepy, ain't it? 977 00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:46,540 - Hey, Ricky, I'll call you tomorrow. - Shut up. 978 00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:49,440 - Bye, kids. I'll see you next weekend. - Bye. 979 00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:57,740 Ricky! Boys! Is everything all right? 980 00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:01,640 Mama, we got nowhere to go. Carley and Cal took everything. 981 00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:03,840 Well, you're home now, and you got your mama. 982 00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:05,240 Get in here, boys. Come on. 983 00:55:05,540 --> 00:55:08,140 Come on. Get in this house. 984 00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:17,240 Hey, Ricky. Are you on fire? 985 00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:21,340 - Nice denim shorts, dude. - Hey, shut up, man. 986 00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:35,340 Hump me! 987 00:55:39,340 --> 00:55:41,240 Now, you watch yourself. 988 00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:44,640 Yes, sir. I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again. 989 00:55:51,540 --> 00:55:53,040 Hey, sorry, man. 990 00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:03,440 Hey. 991 00:56:03,740 --> 00:56:05,540 I lost my license. 992 00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:07,940 That's why I'm on the bus. I'm delivering pizzas. 993 00:56:08,240 --> 00:56:10,440 Motherfucker, what makes you think I care? 994 00:56:10,740 --> 00:56:13,540 Shut the fuck up! 995 00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,240 I was just telling you that because... 996 00:56:16,540 --> 00:56:19,640 Like I said, I lost my license. I've been having a lot of problems lately. 997 00:56:19,940 --> 00:56:22,440 Problems? I don't wanna hear about your damn problems. 998 00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:24,240 Everybody got problems. 999 00:56:24,540 --> 00:56:26,540 My mama got problems. She just lost her leg. 1000 00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:30,440 My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle. My dog threw up somebody's finger. 1001 00:56:30,740 --> 00:56:32,240 That's a problem. 1002 00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,340 I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you. 1003 00:56:37,540 --> 00:56:40,240 - Sorry. Sorry. - Get out of the road! 1004 00:56:40,540 --> 00:56:43,440 Hey, come on, man. I'm on a bike. Relax. 1005 00:56:43,540 --> 00:56:45,840 - Hey, shut up! - Idiot! 1006 00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:51,440 It's open. 1007 00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,440 Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza. 1008 00:56:57,540 --> 00:57:00,540 - You are pizza? - Yeah, we are pizza. I gotta say it. 1009 00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:06,140 Either close the door or come in. I got weed in here, cowboy. 1010 00:57:12,140 --> 00:57:15,240 You got three pizzas that haven't been eaten just sitting over there. 1011 00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:18,140 I know. I've been calling them all day trying to get you... 1012 00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:20,649 but they keep sending me different delivery people. 1013 00:57:20,940 --> 00:57:22,640 Trying to get me? Why? 1014 00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:24,440 Because I'm your daddy, that's why. 1015 00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:29,340 - What did you just say? - I said, I'm your daddy. 1016 00:57:29,540 --> 00:57:31,040 I'm Reese Bobby. 1017 00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:36,040 Me and your mama did it in a Rustler Steak House bathroom when I was 17. 1018 00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:38,040 And then you showed up. 1019 00:57:44,740 --> 00:57:46,640 Hey, son. 1020 00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:50,240 - Son! Son, did this go good? - No! 1021 00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:53,340 - Seems to me like it went pretty good. - You're not my dad. 1022 00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,840 - It got a little heated, but... - Stop talking to me! 1023 00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:59,140 Hey, is that a Huffy? That's a nice-looking bike, boy. 1024 00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:01,140 I can't believe it! 1025 00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,540 I mean, he's been blowing me off for 25 years... 1026 00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:07,240 and now he wants to get to know me? 1027 00:58:07,540 --> 00:58:09,340 How the hell did he even find me? 1028 00:58:09,540 --> 00:58:10,740 I called him. 1029 00:58:10,940 --> 00:58:13,840 Are you kidding me? Mama, why did you go do that? 1030 00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:15,740 Son, you need help. 1031 00:58:15,940 --> 00:58:18,540 - I know he's a son of a bitch. - He's scary. 1032 00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:22,540 But you're a grown man. You're delivering pizzas on a bike. 1033 00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:25,440 How'd you even get hooked up with him in the first place? 1034 00:58:25,740 --> 00:58:28,440 You probably couldn't tell by looking at him now... 1035 00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:31,240 but your daddy used to be a real charmer. 1036 00:58:31,540 --> 00:58:36,340 And that night in the ladies' room of the Rustler Steak House, he chose me. 1037 00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:41,140 - In a ladies' room? - Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep! 1038 00:58:41,340 --> 00:58:44,240 One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth! 1039 00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:47,740 Hey, stop yelling at me, okay? I'm your dad. You're 7 years old. 1040 00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:49,640 Don't talk like that. 1041 00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:53,440 Hey. Hey there, Lucy. 1042 00:58:53,740 --> 00:58:55,540 How you doing? 1043 00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:59,440 Oh, hey there, Ricky. Look, son... 1044 00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,640 I know you don't want me to be here... 1045 00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:06,840 but I saw what happened to you on the television. You saw the fear. 1046 00:59:07,040 --> 00:59:09,040 - I can help you with that, son. - Really? 1047 00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:12,440 What do you care about me or us? You never even met your grandkids. 1048 00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:15,840 - What are you looking at, Popeye? - Shut up, you little pot-licker. 1049 00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:17,440 I'll put you in a microwave. 1050 00:59:17,540 --> 00:59:19,240 Now, you show me the DNA test... 1051 00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:22,340 and then maybe I'll say hello to these swamp rats. 1052 00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:27,340 You people shut the hell up! I got a wife in an oxygen tent trying to sleep. 1053 00:59:27,540 --> 00:59:30,540 You better shut up or I'll come over there and rip a hole in that tent. 1054 00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,040 Yeah, shut up, Frank! 1055 00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:34,640 Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart! 1056 00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:37,340 Okay, I guess they are my grandkids. 1057 00:59:39,540 --> 00:59:42,440 I know you, son. I know you well. 1058 00:59:42,740 --> 00:59:45,940 You're just like me. Talladega's coming up in a couple of weeks... 1059 00:59:46,140 --> 00:59:48,840 and I know you wanna win that thing. No, I don't. 1060 00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:51,140 Listen, Ricky. 1061 00:59:51,340 --> 00:59:55,240 I'm 55 years old and all I got to my name is a car... 1062 00:59:55,540 --> 00:59:59,340 and a duffle bag full of underwear, and sweet, stinky weed. 1063 00:59:59,540 --> 01:00:01,540 How much you selling that weed for, old man? 1064 01:00:01,740 --> 01:00:04,140 I know I screwed up raising you as a boy... 1065 01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,440 but just let me help you as a man. 1066 01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:11,140 - Do it, Dad. Get your balls back. - Go fast again. 1067 01:00:12,540 --> 01:00:14,440 Fine. I'll do it. 1068 01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,840 - But I ain't calling you Daddy. - Well, what you gonna call me? 1069 01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,740 All right, Professor Dickweed. What's the plan? 1070 01:00:21,940 --> 01:00:25,040 Well, basically, what happened to you is that you saw the fear. 1071 01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:28,440 So before you can even think about any real driving... 1072 01:00:28,540 --> 01:00:32,540 you gotta make friends with that fear. So get in the car. 1073 01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:42,040 What the hell?! There's a goddamn cougar in the car! 1074 01:00:42,340 --> 01:00:44,340 I know there's a cougar, I put it in there. 1075 01:00:44,640 --> 01:00:47,440 You gotta learn to drive with the fear. 1076 01:00:47,540 --> 01:00:51,340 Ain't nothing more damn frightening than driving with a cougar in the car. 1077 01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,540 - God, where'd you get that thing? - I trapped it. 1078 01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,640 Been keeping it in my bathroom at the motel, feeding it old pizza. 1079 01:00:56,940 --> 01:01:00,140 - Now get back in that car, you hear me? - No, I'm not getting in that car. 1080 01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:05,140 Hey, listen to me. If you're calm, that wondrous big cat will be calm too. 1081 01:01:05,340 --> 01:01:06,740 But if you're scared... 1082 01:01:07,040 --> 01:01:10,540 that beautiful death machine will do what God made it to do... 1083 01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:13,440 namely, eat you with a smile on its face. 1084 01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:15,640 God, he's just following me wherever I go. 1085 01:01:15,940 --> 01:01:17,340 Well, he's just looking at you. 1086 01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:20,140 You're saying if I just calm down, the cougar will be okay? 1087 01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:23,540 - You got it. - Damn it. Okay. 1088 01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:25,640 Come on, son. You can do it. Come on. 1089 01:01:25,940 --> 01:01:27,440 Oh, come on. 1090 01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:29,640 That's it. 1091 01:01:30,540 --> 01:01:34,340 - And no sudden moves. - Like, is this too fast? Oh, man. See? 1092 01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:36,540 - That's a little quick. - You see what he did? 1093 01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:39,140 You gotta be a little more deliberate in your movement. 1094 01:01:39,340 --> 01:01:41,940 I'm just gonna get in there. I'm just gonna grab the handle. 1095 01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,640 I'm gonna get in and drive that car. I'm gonna do it calm. 1096 01:01:44,940 --> 01:01:48,440 - Calm. Piece of cake. - I was just trying to stay calm. 1097 01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:53,040 - Oh, man! - Sometime today, son. 1098 01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:55,540 Okay, here we go. I'm getting in. 1099 01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:57,440 Oh, God, help me! 1100 01:01:58,540 --> 01:02:00,940 - Ricky! Control your heart rate. - Oh, my God! 1101 01:02:03,140 --> 01:02:04,540 Hey, Mama. 1102 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:09,040 Well, hey there, Ricky. How'd it go? 1103 01:02:09,240 --> 01:02:11,640 Well, I was mauled by a cougar... 1104 01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:15,040 learned nothing about driving, and my Crystal Gayle shirt was ruined. 1105 01:02:15,340 --> 01:02:17,040 But other than that, it went fine. 1106 01:02:17,340 --> 01:02:18,440 Where are the boys at? 1107 01:02:18,740 --> 01:02:22,140 I dropped them off at Sunday school at my church about 10 minutes ago. 1108 01:02:22,340 --> 01:02:23,440 Anarchy! 1109 01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:26,840 - Anarchy! Anarchy! - Anarchy! 1110 01:02:27,140 --> 01:02:30,540 - There they are. - What in tarnation? 1111 01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:33,840 - Anarchy! - I don't even know what that means... 1112 01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:36,240 but I love it! 1113 01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:40,240 - What in the hell? - That is it! 1114 01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:43,140 That puts the lid right on the jar! 1115 01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:45,240 - Mama! Mama! - No, Ricky, no. 1116 01:02:45,540 --> 01:02:48,840 I will not have my grandbabies acting like shiftless, wild hobos. 1117 01:02:49,140 --> 01:02:52,040 All right, now, you boys listen up, and you listen good. 1118 01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:55,540 Now, I am declaring Granny Law. 1119 01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:59,540 And if you do not obey Granny Law... 1120 01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:02,240 I will paint your back porch red. 1121 01:03:02,540 --> 01:03:04,640 Sorry, Granny, but you're shit out of luck. 1122 01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:07,240 We make the rules, not you. 1123 01:03:08,540 --> 01:03:10,440 Hey! 1124 01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:14,340 You're gonna break us like wild horses, ain't you? 1125 01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:17,640 It's the beginning of a new age. 1126 01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:21,540 Hey, Derek, it's Ricky. 1127 01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:24,140 Just wondering if you can ditch school... 1128 01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:27,140 and take over my shift at the pizza place... 1129 01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:29,540 because I got strep throat. 1130 01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:32,240 And it's bad. I don't wanna give it to everyone else. 1131 01:03:32,540 --> 01:03:34,640 So call me back. You know the number. 1132 01:03:36,040 --> 01:03:37,040 Hello. 1133 01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:40,340 Hey, man. How's it going? You wanna come over and party? 1134 01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:41,940 Did you just say "party"? 1135 01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:44,640 You know what? No. Because I still hate you, okay? 1136 01:03:44,940 --> 01:03:47,940 - What are you so mad about? - What do you think I'm mad about? 1137 01:03:48,140 --> 01:03:50,440 Come on, man, that was last week. 1138 01:03:50,740 --> 01:03:53,240 What about the time you ran over my leg with a car? 1139 01:03:53,540 --> 01:03:57,140 - I let that go that day. - Yeah, I remember. 1140 01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,140 Wind is kicking up. 1141 01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:01,640 Are you in the hot tub? 1142 01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:04,840 Answer me this: When you're in spa mode... 1143 01:04:05,540 --> 01:04:08,240 how come the water level drops in the spa? 1144 01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:11,940 Are you pressing the buttons in the back panel or in the kitchen? 1145 01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:15,440 - I just started pressing stuff. - Hey, don't press all those buttons. 1146 01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:19,140 I'm getting bored. You wanna come over and play G.I. Joes? 1147 01:04:19,340 --> 01:04:20,940 I would love to. No! 1148 01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:24,140 Come on. You know what? Screw you, man. 1149 01:04:24,340 --> 01:04:27,040 Ricky, man, you gotta cross over the anger bridge. 1150 01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:29,140 Come back to the friendship shore. 1151 01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:32,940 - "Cross over the anger bridge"? - Yeah, that's where you're at. 1152 01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:34,840 You're stuck on an anger bridge. 1153 01:04:35,140 --> 01:04:37,840 Can you not see why I'm stuck on the anger bridge? 1154 01:04:38,340 --> 01:04:41,540 Look, I don't know why I'm talking to you, okay? What is it? 1155 01:04:41,640 --> 01:04:45,140 They got bottomless nachos at Bennigan's. 1156 01:04:45,740 --> 01:04:48,040 God, a whole mess of nachos sounds good right now. 1157 01:04:48,340 --> 01:04:50,640 I don't have a car no more. Can you come get me? 1158 01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:54,540 I'll get you. Which one of your cars do you miss the most? I'll bring that one. 1159 01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:56,840 - I miss the Hummer. - I'm coming in the Hummer. 1160 01:04:57,040 --> 01:04:58,540 - Are you ready? - Yeah. No, wait. 1161 01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:01,240 Okay. Our friendship is done. All right? 1162 01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,440 - You hear? - You wanna hang out in your house. 1163 01:05:03,540 --> 01:05:05,640 - Come on. - Screw you, dude. I'm hanging up. 1164 01:05:05,940 --> 01:05:07,740 Okay, that's it. Bye. 1165 01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:12,240 Oh, man, this is absolutely crazy. I mean, this is borderline reckless. 1166 01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:16,040 Don't you get it? You don't drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart. 1167 01:05:16,340 --> 01:05:18,140 This is just dumb. I can't see a thing. 1168 01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:22,240 You gotta feel the road. You gotta let it live inside you. 1169 01:05:22,540 --> 01:05:25,040 - Are you feeling anything now? - I'm feeling a little bit. 1170 01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:27,240 What do you feel? Tell me what you're feeling. 1171 01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:30,340 I'm feeling the worn wood of the steering wheel. 1172 01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,540 - Yeah. What else? - A little bit of heat. 1173 01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:35,040 That's you and the car melded together. 1174 01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:38,640 Yeah, now I'm really feeling it. I feel like the car could drive itself. 1175 01:05:38,940 --> 01:05:40,740 I bet it could. Start her up. 1176 01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:42,940 I'm gonna start this car up. 1177 01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:45,340 Attaboy. All right, son. 1178 01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:47,440 Drive. 1179 01:06:04,940 --> 01:06:07,340 I'm embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it. 1180 01:06:07,540 --> 01:06:10,640 You know what? We better hightail it out of here. Frank's gonna be pissed. 1181 01:06:10,940 --> 01:06:12,540 All right. 1182 01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:15,140 No, no, Ricky. No blindfold. 1183 01:06:17,140 --> 01:06:19,540 Get this highway clean, come on. 1184 01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:22,540 I gotta tell you, Granny, this blows. 1185 01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:25,140 - How much more of this? - I don't know. 1186 01:06:25,340 --> 01:06:29,040 How many more times are you gonna toss me the radio in the bathtub? 1187 01:06:38,740 --> 01:06:40,840 - Hello? - Hey, man. You up? 1188 01:06:41,140 --> 01:06:43,440 - No. - Wake up. I need to talk to you. 1189 01:06:43,740 --> 01:06:45,340 I think your house is haunted. 1190 01:06:45,440 --> 01:06:47,540 Hey, come on. It's 2:30 in the morning. 1191 01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:51,340 I can't sleep in here, man. I'm scared. 1192 01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:54,140 Look, there's nothing to be scared of. It's a new house... 1193 01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:56,649 there's a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it. 1194 01:06:56,840 --> 01:07:00,740 - Put on... You got your TV on? - Well, yeah, I fell asleep with it on. 1195 01:07:01,340 --> 01:07:04,740 - Turn on channel 42. - Forty-two? 1196 01:07:04,940 --> 01:07:08,240 - Look at them buns. - Well, that is a set of buns. 1197 01:07:08,640 --> 01:07:10,240 And down, and down, and... 1198 01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,840 What's she doing exercising at 2:30 in the morning? 1199 01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:14,940 Oh, yeah, that's a really good point. 1200 01:07:15,140 --> 01:07:18,540 I don't know why I'm talking to you. Do you remember that I hate you? 1201 01:07:18,640 --> 01:07:21,240 Hey, man, you know what I was thinking? 1202 01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:24,040 - You're lucky. - I'm lucky? 1203 01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:26,140 - How so? - Well, check it out. 1204 01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:30,940 I'm sitting here in this enormous haunted mansion, can't sleep. 1205 01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:33,340 You're hanging out at your mom's. That's awesome. 1206 01:07:33,440 --> 01:07:37,440 - That's, like, the opposite of awesome. - Well, this is like a hotel room... 1207 01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:39,340 with someone else's junk in it. 1208 01:07:39,540 --> 01:07:43,840 Okay, yeah, well, that someone else's junk, that used to be my stuff. 1209 01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:47,540 I'm just having a hard time, man. I'm just calling up for some support. 1210 01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:50,740 Do you...? Do you know how crazy that sounds? 1211 01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:52,640 - Hey, one more thing. - Yeah? 1212 01:07:52,940 --> 01:07:57,240 When you have the stereo on at the same time as the TV... 1213 01:07:57,540 --> 01:07:59,440 how do you control the volume on the TV? 1214 01:07:59,740 --> 01:08:02,340 Why do you want to listen to the TV with the stereo on? 1215 01:08:02,540 --> 01:08:04,340 Because I like to party. 1216 01:08:04,640 --> 01:08:06,340 Why am I still talking to you? 1217 01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:08,440 Come on. We were doing good there, man. 1218 01:08:08,540 --> 01:08:10,740 I'm taking care of your house good. 1219 01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:14,240 I keep snapping back into it. It's like a trick you're pulling on me. 1220 01:08:14,540 --> 01:08:18,540 - All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow. - All right, man. Talk to you tomorrow. 1221 01:08:21,540 --> 01:08:23,540 Shit. 1222 01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:26,440 Get out. 1223 01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:35,340 Where did stock-car racing come from? 1224 01:08:35,440 --> 01:08:36,640 What? 1225 01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:40,940 - Hey, stop doing that. - How did stock-car racing get its start? 1226 01:08:41,240 --> 01:08:44,840 Bootleggers in Prohibition had to have cars fast enough to outrun the Feds... 1227 01:08:45,040 --> 01:08:47,740 then they started racing each other. That's right. 1228 01:08:48,040 --> 01:08:51,140 If I was right, why'd you throw another bucket on me? 1229 01:08:51,440 --> 01:08:55,140 I filled up three. Now, there's nothing like driving to avoid jail. 1230 01:08:55,440 --> 01:08:58,940 Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity. 1231 01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:02,440 So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath the car and called the boys in blue. 1232 01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:05,440 Now, the way I figure it, you got about two minutes... 1233 01:09:05,640 --> 01:09:09,140 before they show up and you do five to 10. 1234 01:09:09,340 --> 01:09:13,140 So, what's it gonna be? Fear or prison? 1235 01:09:13,440 --> 01:09:16,540 - What the hell are you talking about? - Real simple, son. 1236 01:09:16,640 --> 01:09:17,940 Cops are coming. 1237 01:09:18,140 --> 01:09:23,240 There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam under the car. Time to be a man. 1238 01:09:23,540 --> 01:09:27,440 - You got hair on your peaches or what? - You're not kidding, are you? Man. 1239 01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:30,840 You crazy creep! 1240 01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:40,140 Come on, son. What's it gonna be? 1241 01:09:40,440 --> 01:09:42,040 Speed or jail? 1242 01:09:51,640 --> 01:09:54,140 Grandpa, would you like to take us fishing... 1243 01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:57,640 and tell us life lessons and stories about your childhood? 1244 01:09:57,940 --> 01:09:59,240 I got a better idea. 1245 01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:02,240 Why don't you boys go dig a hole and I'll get another beer? 1246 01:10:02,540 --> 01:10:06,540 Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they? 1247 01:10:06,640 --> 01:10:09,540 Good call. Here, that's worth a nickel. 1248 01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:10,840 Tragic. 1249 01:10:17,540 --> 01:10:19,840 Son of a bitch, son of a bitch, son of a bitch. 1250 01:10:21,240 --> 01:10:23,240 Oh, man. Oh, man! 1251 01:10:26,040 --> 01:10:28,440 One-sixteen. One-sixteen! 1252 01:10:28,740 --> 01:10:31,140 I'm going fast again! 1253 01:10:50,940 --> 01:10:52,540 Pull over! Pull over! 1254 01:10:52,740 --> 01:10:56,540 Pull over? I'll pull over for you. How about this? 1255 01:11:31,640 --> 01:11:33,640 Where are you? 1256 01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:39,040 Gotcha. 1257 01:11:49,440 --> 01:11:51,340 "Feels good going fast, doesn't it? 1258 01:11:51,540 --> 01:11:56,440 By the way, don't try and snort these Lucky Charms. Reese." 1259 01:11:58,440 --> 01:12:00,040 Okay. 1260 01:12:01,140 --> 01:12:02,540 Okay. 1261 01:12:15,240 --> 01:12:16,540 There you go, little man. 1262 01:12:27,440 --> 01:12:28,840 Hey, Ricky! 1263 01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:30,440 How you doing? 1264 01:12:34,440 --> 01:12:38,440 - Oh, Nana, not my prison shank. - In the can. 1265 01:12:47,440 --> 01:12:50,240 There's your mother-flipping driving test. 1266 01:12:50,540 --> 01:12:53,340 Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent. 1267 01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:59,240 Down, Karen! Get down! Get down, Karen! 1268 01:12:59,440 --> 01:13:01,140 It's all right. It's gonna be okay. 1269 01:13:09,940 --> 01:13:13,440 Well, son, you are looking good behind that wheel. 1270 01:13:13,640 --> 01:13:17,440 Thanks, Daddy. I gotta tell you, I feel good. Heck, you know what? 1271 01:13:17,740 --> 01:13:20,440 Let's go out tonight, you know, the whole family. 1272 01:13:20,940 --> 01:13:23,840 I'm talking about sitting down, enjoying a gourmet meal... 1273 01:13:24,140 --> 01:13:26,440 at a place that's real special. 1274 01:13:26,540 --> 01:13:29,840 - Hi. Those plates are hot. Enjoy. - You got your own skillet. 1275 01:13:30,140 --> 01:13:32,540 - Be back to check on you in a minute. - Thank you. 1276 01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:34,940 Oh, gooder than grits. 1277 01:13:35,140 --> 01:13:36,540 Let us pray. 1278 01:13:38,440 --> 01:13:40,240 Dear Lord baby Jesus... 1279 01:13:40,440 --> 01:13:43,340 lying there in your little ghost manger... 1280 01:13:43,440 --> 01:13:46,940 just looking at your Baby Einstein developmental videos... 1281 01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:49,240 learning about shapes and colors and... 1282 01:13:49,540 --> 01:13:51,840 We just have so much to be thankful for. 1283 01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:54,340 First off, my sons no longer act... 1284 01:13:54,440 --> 01:13:56,740 like retarded gangbangers. Amen. 1285 01:13:57,040 --> 01:13:59,440 Also, I got my balls back behind the wheel of a car. 1286 01:13:59,540 --> 01:14:01,740 And most importantly, we thank you... 1287 01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:05,940 for bringing back our nasty, delinquent, pot-dealing daddy to us. 1288 01:14:06,140 --> 01:14:09,140 For he was lost, but now he is found. Amen. 1289 01:14:09,440 --> 01:14:11,540 - Amen. - Amen. 1290 01:14:11,840 --> 01:14:13,240 Son, that was lovely. 1291 01:14:13,540 --> 01:14:15,240 - What a lovely meal. - It sure is. 1292 01:14:15,540 --> 01:14:17,540 It certainly does look delicious. 1293 01:14:17,840 --> 01:14:20,840 I gotta tell you, this is about a damn perfect evening right now. 1294 01:14:21,140 --> 01:14:23,640 It is, isn't it? 1295 01:14:23,940 --> 01:14:25,840 You know what we should do? 1296 01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:29,040 Every week, we should come back to this Applebee's... 1297 01:14:29,340 --> 01:14:32,540 and sit at this table, and have a family meal. 1298 01:14:32,640 --> 01:14:35,040 - That's a great idea, Mama. - And order the same stuff. 1299 01:14:35,340 --> 01:14:38,240 - That would be great. - And I would be delighted, Reese... 1300 01:14:38,440 --> 01:14:42,440 if you would accompany me to ballroom dancing on Tuesday nights. 1301 01:14:42,840 --> 01:14:44,440 - Tuesday night? - It's a lot of fun. 1302 01:14:44,540 --> 01:14:47,340 - I think you'd have a good time. - How's everybody doing here? 1303 01:14:47,640 --> 01:14:50,540 - Dolly, it's so good. - Oh, it's really, really good. 1304 01:14:50,640 --> 01:14:55,140 You know, I just... I hate to be a pain, darling... 1305 01:14:57,940 --> 01:15:00,640 but I asked for no onions on my Bourbon Steak. 1306 01:15:01,040 --> 01:15:03,140 I am so sorry. I thought you asked for onions... 1307 01:15:03,440 --> 01:15:05,240 Okay, okay, maybe don't interrupt me. 1308 01:15:05,440 --> 01:15:08,540 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. - Yeah, well, I think you did mean to... 1309 01:15:08,640 --> 01:15:12,640 and I also think that you meant to put the damn onions on my steak. 1310 01:15:13,140 --> 01:15:14,840 - Okay, Reese. - Grandfather... 1311 01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:18,040 can't we resolve this conflict without anger? 1312 01:15:19,540 --> 01:15:22,640 - I'm a veteran and a diabetic! - Dad! 1313 01:15:23,240 --> 01:15:26,840 - Dad! Why are you doing this? - Applebee's has rats! 1314 01:15:27,040 --> 01:15:29,240 I found a whole rat in my Cobb salad! 1315 01:15:29,540 --> 01:15:30,740 Dad, where are you going? 1316 01:15:30,940 --> 01:15:33,240 Come on, frat boy, you wanna go? 1317 01:15:33,440 --> 01:15:36,740 - What's going on, man? - Ricky, let him go! 1318 01:15:37,040 --> 01:15:40,440 - Things were going good, weren't they? - That's exactly why I had to blow it up. 1319 01:15:40,740 --> 01:15:42,615 I don't know what organ or bone people have... 1320 01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:45,674 that makes them act right, but I was born without it. I'm no good. 1321 01:15:45,840 --> 01:15:50,340 All those races I won, that was for you, you know that? 1322 01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:55,240 I did just like you told me: "If you ain't first, you're last." 1323 01:15:55,540 --> 01:15:57,140 What the hell are you talking about? 1324 01:15:57,340 --> 01:15:59,940 What you told me that day at school for career day. 1325 01:16:01,840 --> 01:16:05,440 You came in and you said, "If you ain't first, you're last." 1326 01:16:07,240 --> 01:16:10,240 Oh, hell, Ricky, I was high when I said that. 1327 01:16:10,440 --> 01:16:12,140 That doesn't make any sense at all. 1328 01:16:12,440 --> 01:16:16,340 "You're first or last." You can be second, you can be third, fourth. 1329 01:16:16,540 --> 01:16:18,340 Hell, you can even be fifth. 1330 01:16:18,540 --> 01:16:23,040 What are you talking about? I lived my whole life based on that. 1331 01:16:23,540 --> 01:16:25,440 Well, now what the hell am I supposed to do? 1332 01:16:27,440 --> 01:16:30,740 Well, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? 1333 01:16:34,440 --> 01:16:36,440 Good luck to you, son. 1334 01:16:37,440 --> 01:16:38,940 Hey, Dad! 1335 01:16:40,440 --> 01:16:41,740 Where are you going? 1336 01:16:42,740 --> 01:16:44,640 Does it matter? 1337 01:17:15,740 --> 01:17:17,140 Here we go. 1338 01:17:19,140 --> 01:17:20,440 Hey, don't bump me. 1339 01:17:21,740 --> 01:17:24,040 Oh, man, I'm flying. 1340 01:17:28,640 --> 01:17:31,540 Game over. Come on, reset. 1341 01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:34,340 Boy, you are a terrible driver, no? 1342 01:17:34,440 --> 01:17:36,340 How'd you get on a video game so fast? 1343 01:17:36,540 --> 01:17:40,240 Is your name, by chance, Ricky Bobby? 1344 01:17:40,440 --> 01:17:43,540 Hey, screw you, man! I got nothing because of you! 1345 01:17:46,440 --> 01:17:48,840 - I hate you! - Hey, Ricky. 1346 01:17:49,040 --> 01:17:52,040 I am on fire. I am on fire. 1347 01:17:52,840 --> 01:17:54,040 Susan? 1348 01:17:54,240 --> 01:17:57,140 And so then I got a marketing job with NASCAR. 1349 01:17:57,440 --> 01:18:00,340 - Really? - Yeah, it's great. It's great. 1350 01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:04,140 Well, gosh, you look fantastic. 1351 01:18:04,440 --> 01:18:07,740 - Thank you. - I mean, you've always looked good. 1352 01:18:08,840 --> 01:18:12,540 I mean, I'm just... I'm happy for you. 1353 01:18:13,440 --> 01:18:14,740 Thank you. 1354 01:18:16,040 --> 01:18:17,540 But what about you? 1355 01:18:17,640 --> 01:18:19,840 How have you been? What have you been doing? 1356 01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:23,740 Well, they want me to race at Talladega next weekend, but I'm not gonna do it. 1357 01:18:24,040 --> 01:18:26,540 Because I'm done. I'm done with the racing, with driving. 1358 01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:29,640 - Why would you do that? - Because I've really moved on. 1359 01:18:29,740 --> 01:18:32,240 I've sent in my application to The Real World... 1360 01:18:32,440 --> 01:18:33,840 so I'm hoping to hear back. 1361 01:18:34,140 --> 01:18:37,540 I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. 1362 01:18:37,640 --> 01:18:41,040 I'm also thinking about getting a gun and dealing crack. 1363 01:18:41,240 --> 01:18:45,040 Being a crack dealer, but not like a mean crack dealer, but like a... 1364 01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:47,340 You know, like a nice one. 1365 01:18:47,640 --> 01:18:49,540 Just kind of friendly, like, "Hey... 1366 01:18:49,640 --> 01:18:52,040 what's up, guys? You want some crack?" 1367 01:18:52,240 --> 01:18:55,540 I'm just waiting on those two things to kind of flesh themselves out. 1368 01:18:55,640 --> 01:18:56,640 You know what, Ricky? 1369 01:18:56,840 --> 01:19:00,840 I have kept my mouth shut for a really, really long time. 1370 01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:03,540 And I just don't think that I can keep it shut anymore. 1371 01:19:03,640 --> 01:19:06,540 I just have to tell you that I think you are making a big mistake. 1372 01:19:06,740 --> 01:19:08,440 - Really? - Yes. 1373 01:19:08,540 --> 01:19:12,140 Why is it that you always fall for people who leave you? 1374 01:19:12,440 --> 01:19:14,240 Have you noticed that? 1375 01:19:14,440 --> 01:19:19,540 Like Carley and your dad and your sponsors. 1376 01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:23,340 And you always have to prove yourself. Wh...? 1377 01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:27,540 Well, you gotta listen to me here, okay? 1378 01:19:27,640 --> 01:19:31,640 You gotta win to get love. Everyone knows that. 1379 01:19:32,140 --> 01:19:34,440 I mean, that's just life. 1380 01:19:37,340 --> 01:19:40,440 Look at Don Shula, legendary coach. 1381 01:19:40,540 --> 01:19:44,040 Look at that Asian guy who holds the world record... 1382 01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:46,140 for eating all those hot dogs in a row. 1383 01:19:46,440 --> 01:19:50,040 Look at Rue McClanahan from The Golden Girls. 1384 01:19:50,940 --> 01:19:54,240 All three people, all great champions, all loved. 1385 01:19:54,540 --> 01:19:56,940 Do you wanna know why I think that you should race again? 1386 01:19:58,040 --> 01:19:59,240 Sure. Why? 1387 01:19:59,440 --> 01:20:03,440 Okay. It's because it's what you love, Ricky. 1388 01:20:04,140 --> 01:20:06,840 It is who you were born to be. 1389 01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:10,340 And here you sit, thinking. 1390 01:20:10,440 --> 01:20:15,540 Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. 1391 01:20:15,740 --> 01:20:18,140 He is a doer. And that's what you need to do. 1392 01:20:18,440 --> 01:20:20,240 You don't need to think, you need to drive. 1393 01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:24,240 You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. 1394 01:20:24,440 --> 01:20:25,440 You need to fire it up. 1395 01:20:25,540 --> 01:20:28,340 You need to grab hold of the line between speed and chaos... 1396 01:20:28,440 --> 01:20:31,340 and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. 1397 01:20:31,640 --> 01:20:34,340 And then, when that fear rises up in your belly, you use it... 1398 01:20:34,640 --> 01:20:37,440 and you know that fear is powerful because it has been there... 1399 01:20:37,540 --> 01:20:41,540 for billions of years! And it is good, and you use it, and you ride it. 1400 01:20:41,840 --> 01:20:44,640 You ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell... 1401 01:20:44,840 --> 01:20:46,340 and then you win! You win! 1402 01:20:46,440 --> 01:20:49,340 You don't win for anybody else, you win for you. You know why? 1403 01:20:49,540 --> 01:20:51,640 Because a man takes what he wants, he takes it all. 1404 01:20:51,840 --> 01:20:54,440 And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you? 1405 01:20:55,540 --> 01:20:57,440 Susan, I've never heard you talk like that. 1406 01:21:00,940 --> 01:21:02,840 Are we about to get it on? 1407 01:21:03,140 --> 01:21:05,840 Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now. 1408 01:21:09,640 --> 01:21:11,640 - This is awesome. - Yes, it is. 1409 01:21:11,840 --> 01:21:14,740 - Are you climbing on the table now? - Yes, sir. 1410 01:21:20,340 --> 01:21:22,640 I can't believe this. 1411 01:21:22,840 --> 01:21:28,640 This is like that Whitesnake video where the girl crawls on... 1412 01:21:28,840 --> 01:21:31,740 Yeah. Just like that. What's her name? 1413 01:21:31,940 --> 01:21:34,040 Tawny Kitaen. She's really good. 1414 01:21:34,240 --> 01:21:36,240 - She's great. - She's fantastic. 1415 01:21:37,440 --> 01:21:38,940 Everyone, turn away. 1416 01:21:39,140 --> 01:21:43,140 Things are gonna get crazy. We're gonna make animal noises. 1417 01:22:18,540 --> 01:22:20,640 - Looks good, damn good. - Yeah. That's good, guys. 1418 01:22:20,940 --> 01:22:23,540 Yeah, Ricky, it's good to be back. 1419 01:22:23,640 --> 01:22:25,440 - Talladega. - Talladega. 1420 01:22:25,640 --> 01:22:27,640 I missed you dudes. 1421 01:22:27,840 --> 01:22:29,140 Even you too, Glenn. 1422 01:22:30,840 --> 01:22:35,940 I didn't have a whole lot of money left, but what I did I put into the car. 1423 01:22:36,140 --> 01:22:39,040 We got some lower-end sponsors, so it's nothing to shout about... 1424 01:22:39,240 --> 01:22:41,440 but at least we got something to run in. 1425 01:22:41,640 --> 01:22:42,940 Let's see what we got, guys. 1426 01:22:44,540 --> 01:22:47,440 What are we looking at? "Julio's thongs for men"? 1427 01:22:47,540 --> 01:22:49,740 Come on, what kind of dude wears a thong? 1428 01:22:49,940 --> 01:22:51,940 Yeah, that's messed up. 1429 01:22:52,440 --> 01:22:53,540 Perverts, you know? 1430 01:22:55,240 --> 01:22:56,824 It's not the best car, but it'll move. 1431 01:22:57,940 --> 01:23:01,540 Hold on, now, baby. Let's just see what this thing's got under the hood. 1432 01:23:03,540 --> 01:23:06,340 - There she is. - Looks like the Pep Boys threw up. 1433 01:23:06,640 --> 01:23:08,340 - Damn. - Like I said, work in progress. 1434 01:23:08,640 --> 01:23:12,140 All right, I tell you what we gotta do. Since we got no corporate money... 1435 01:23:12,440 --> 01:23:14,240 we have to build this engine ourselves. 1436 01:23:14,440 --> 01:23:18,440 I want you to hit up every independent driver out there for spare parts. 1437 01:23:18,640 --> 01:23:20,640 Yeah, Lucius, that's crazy. 1438 01:23:20,840 --> 01:23:24,140 Well, crazy is all we got right now, okay? So do it. 1439 01:23:24,440 --> 01:23:25,440 Now, where you going? 1440 01:23:25,740 --> 01:23:28,040 I wanna tell Gerard Depardieu we're coming for him. 1441 01:23:28,240 --> 01:23:30,840 There you go, baby. Give him hell. 1442 01:23:31,140 --> 01:23:34,440 Get this engine built. Get it built. 1443 01:23:40,840 --> 01:23:42,740 I have not finished. 1444 01:23:50,640 --> 01:23:54,340 Monsieur Girard, Ricky Bobby is here to see you. 1445 01:23:54,440 --> 01:23:58,440 This is the one I was talking about, Ricky Bobby. 1446 01:23:59,740 --> 01:24:02,240 Thank you, Bacco. Go. 1447 01:24:02,940 --> 01:24:05,340 You're a tough man to find. You know that, buster? 1448 01:24:05,540 --> 01:24:08,040 I prefer solitude the day before a race. 1449 01:24:08,340 --> 01:24:11,240 I am being so incredibly rude, Monsieur Bobby. 1450 01:24:11,540 --> 01:24:13,840 Let me introduce you to my lunch guests. 1451 01:24:14,040 --> 01:24:17,340 This is my dear old friend Elvis Costello. 1452 01:24:17,440 --> 01:24:21,340 Delightful to meet you, Mr. Robert. I thought you were dead. 1453 01:24:21,840 --> 01:24:28,040 And next to him is hip-hop artist, poet and my brother-in-law, Mos Def. 1454 01:24:28,340 --> 01:24:30,940 I like your driving style. I'm more of a Tony Stewart man... 1455 01:24:31,240 --> 01:24:32,640 number 20 car, myself. 1456 01:24:32,940 --> 01:24:34,840 How he gets into those straightaways. 1457 01:24:35,140 --> 01:24:36,599 Gets it in the paint. Get her done! 1458 01:24:36,840 --> 01:24:39,540 And across from Monsieur Def... 1459 01:24:40,640 --> 01:24:41,840 is Breeze. 1460 01:24:42,140 --> 01:24:45,240 Hey. You're Breeze or you're Breeze? Which one of you is Breeze? 1461 01:24:45,540 --> 01:24:47,840 Together we are Breeze. 1462 01:24:48,140 --> 01:24:51,840 They are like twins, born from different wombs. 1463 01:24:52,440 --> 01:24:53,774 - Right. - They are God's most... 1464 01:24:53,940 --> 01:24:56,240 beautiful mistake. 1465 01:24:56,540 --> 01:25:00,040 They do everything together. Everything. 1466 01:25:00,340 --> 01:25:02,540 They read the same books. 1467 01:25:02,840 --> 01:25:06,640 They do Pilates together. 1468 01:25:07,640 --> 01:25:10,040 They walk, talk, sleep... 1469 01:25:10,440 --> 01:25:12,240 even go make toilet. 1470 01:25:12,440 --> 01:25:14,340 Okay, you're starting to creep me out, man. 1471 01:25:14,640 --> 01:25:16,040 A single plop. 1472 01:25:16,340 --> 01:25:17,840 One single plop. 1473 01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:21,449 I don't need to hear about doing a toilet. 1474 01:25:21,740 --> 01:25:23,240 You want more examples? 1475 01:25:23,440 --> 01:25:26,440 - No, you listed like 8000. - Less than that. 1476 01:25:26,640 --> 01:25:28,540 - It's none of my business. - More like... 1477 01:25:28,740 --> 01:25:30,440 I don't know, between five and 10. 1478 01:25:30,540 --> 01:25:32,640 Look, I need to talk to you. 1479 01:25:33,040 --> 01:25:34,540 Walk with me, Ricky Bobby. 1480 01:25:34,840 --> 01:25:37,040 - You have a good lunch. - Take care, man. 1481 01:25:37,740 --> 01:25:39,840 - Goodbye, Ricky. - Goodbye. 1482 01:25:40,140 --> 01:25:42,940 Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable. 1483 01:25:43,140 --> 01:25:46,240 It is a sign of friendship in many countries. 1484 01:25:46,540 --> 01:25:48,140 Well, not in ours. 1485 01:25:48,440 --> 01:25:50,940 There's nothing sexual about it. 1486 01:25:51,240 --> 01:25:53,490 Please don't be worried at the fact I have an erection. 1487 01:25:53,740 --> 01:25:56,440 - It has nothing to do with you. - Hey, come on. 1488 01:25:56,740 --> 01:26:01,540 Look. Here's the deal. I came here to tell you one thing. 1489 01:26:01,640 --> 01:26:04,440 All right? Tomorrow, I'm coming for you. 1490 01:26:04,540 --> 01:26:07,540 Do you know why I came to America, Ricky Bobby? 1491 01:26:08,340 --> 01:26:11,440 Public schools, health-care system, giant water parks. 1492 01:26:11,540 --> 01:26:13,740 I mean, the same reason anyone comes to America. 1493 01:26:15,140 --> 01:26:18,440 I came here for you to beat me. 1494 01:26:19,040 --> 01:26:22,040 - What the hell are you talking about? - My husband, Gregory, and I... 1495 01:26:22,240 --> 01:26:26,040 wish only for that which every other couple wishes for: 1496 01:26:26,240 --> 01:26:30,240 To tame Komodo dragons in Sri Lanka... 1497 01:26:30,440 --> 01:26:33,540 and teach them to perform Hamlet. 1498 01:26:33,640 --> 01:26:35,240 But before I can do that... 1499 01:26:35,440 --> 01:26:37,940 - That's dumb. - It's not dumb. 1500 01:26:38,240 --> 01:26:40,040 - It is dumb. - Why is it dumb? 1501 01:26:40,240 --> 01:26:42,140 - I don't know. - But before I can do that... 1502 01:26:42,440 --> 01:26:46,440 I must be beaten by a driver who's truly better than me. 1503 01:26:46,940 --> 01:26:49,140 So you're gonna lose to me on purpose? 1504 01:26:49,440 --> 01:26:51,040 - No. - No? 1505 01:26:51,340 --> 01:26:52,440 No! 1506 01:26:53,640 --> 01:26:56,340 I will battle you with the entirety of my heart. 1507 01:26:56,540 --> 01:26:58,340 And you will probably lose. 1508 01:26:58,940 --> 01:27:03,340 But maybe, just maybe... 1509 01:27:04,040 --> 01:27:06,340 you might challenge me. 1510 01:27:06,640 --> 01:27:08,040 God needs the devil. 1511 01:27:08,340 --> 01:27:11,240 The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. 1512 01:27:11,440 --> 01:27:14,840 Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. 1513 01:27:16,040 --> 01:27:18,840 Will you be my Katie Couric? 1514 01:27:21,340 --> 01:27:23,540 I feel like I'm in Highlander. 1515 01:27:26,640 --> 01:27:28,240 What's the Highlander? 1516 01:27:28,540 --> 01:27:29,540 It's a movie. 1517 01:27:29,840 --> 01:27:31,640 - Any good? - Very good. 1518 01:27:31,840 --> 01:27:33,840 - It won the Academy Award. - Oh, for what? 1519 01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:35,640 For best movie ever made. 1520 01:27:35,840 --> 01:27:39,040 I just want you to know I came here today to tell you one thing. 1521 01:27:39,240 --> 01:27:42,040 That come race time tomorrow, I'm coming for you, all right? 1522 01:27:43,040 --> 01:27:45,140 - May God be with you. - Yeah. 1523 01:27:45,440 --> 01:27:48,440 Because although today I am friendly... 1524 01:27:49,440 --> 01:27:54,040 tomorrow will be war! 1525 01:27:55,040 --> 01:27:56,040 All right. 1526 01:28:01,340 --> 01:28:04,940 Ladies and gentlemen, pull up a chair, drop the kids off with their aunt... 1527 01:28:05,140 --> 01:28:07,940 and take the phone off the hook because it's race day here... 1528 01:28:08,140 --> 01:28:10,340 at the Talladega Superspeedway. 1529 01:28:20,540 --> 01:28:22,540 Hey, guys. 1530 01:28:24,940 --> 01:28:26,840 - Why so down? - Ricky... 1531 01:28:27,140 --> 01:28:29,540 we were up all night working on the car. 1532 01:28:29,840 --> 01:28:31,840 And then something happened. There was a fire. 1533 01:28:32,140 --> 01:28:33,540 Did you say "fire"? 1534 01:28:33,640 --> 01:28:35,140 Glenn is dead, Ricky. 1535 01:28:36,240 --> 01:28:39,440 I mean, he died last night in my arms... 1536 01:28:39,540 --> 01:28:41,240 as I held him. Oh, man. 1537 01:28:41,440 --> 01:28:44,040 He was so scared, because you know how little he is. 1538 01:28:44,240 --> 01:28:46,440 And death was coming for him, and he stood there... 1539 01:28:46,540 --> 01:28:50,240 and with a tear coming out his eyes, he said, "Tell Ricky, win for me." 1540 01:28:50,440 --> 01:28:53,140 That's all that little bastard wanted, was for you to win. 1541 01:28:53,440 --> 01:28:54,640 I wish you could've seen him. 1542 01:28:54,740 --> 01:28:57,440 I wish you could've felt his little heart fluttering. 1543 01:28:57,540 --> 01:28:58,940 Sweet Jesus. 1544 01:28:59,440 --> 01:29:01,440 Poor Glenn. 1545 01:29:03,640 --> 01:29:06,640 Hey, what the hell, man. Hey, Glenn. Glenn! 1546 01:29:08,940 --> 01:29:12,340 - I see you. - Glenn, what did I say? 1547 01:29:12,640 --> 01:29:15,140 - I said, "Wait till after the race." - Was he crying? 1548 01:29:15,340 --> 01:29:18,740 I'm sorry, Ricky. We were just trying to give you a little extra motivation. 1549 01:29:18,940 --> 01:29:21,740 Well, that is just sick, guys. 1550 01:29:22,040 --> 01:29:24,940 It's okay, Susie. I appreciate it, guys. 1551 01:29:25,240 --> 01:29:26,540 Just trying to help out... 1552 01:29:26,640 --> 01:29:29,540 even though it was weird and perverse. 1553 01:29:29,640 --> 01:29:32,040 They're just trying to help, Ricky. We're a team here. 1554 01:29:32,340 --> 01:29:34,540 - I appreciate it. - Let's see what's under the hood. 1555 01:29:34,640 --> 01:29:36,740 All right, let's have a look. 1556 01:29:42,540 --> 01:29:45,740 Hot dog. I mean, that's like looking up Bridgette Wilson-Sampras' skirt. 1557 01:29:45,940 --> 01:29:49,340 We were up all night working on it. Like I said, a lot of teams gave parts. 1558 01:29:49,540 --> 01:29:50,640 Nice work, guys. 1559 01:29:50,840 --> 01:29:54,440 And your sponsors weren't doing very much, so... 1560 01:29:54,540 --> 01:29:56,540 well, we repainted the car. 1561 01:29:56,740 --> 01:29:59,040 Well, take a look. Come on, guys. 1562 01:30:01,840 --> 01:30:05,140 Well, I like the cougar, but what company is "M.E."? 1563 01:30:05,440 --> 01:30:07,540 "Me" is you... 1564 01:30:07,840 --> 01:30:09,540 because it's just you out there. 1565 01:30:09,640 --> 01:30:12,540 We don't have any corporate sponsors. 1566 01:30:12,640 --> 01:30:14,840 We don't have any fancy team owners. 1567 01:30:15,140 --> 01:30:16,640 We have you... 1568 01:30:16,840 --> 01:30:19,740 and this car, and this cougar... 1569 01:30:20,040 --> 01:30:22,840 which symbolizes the fear that you have overcome. 1570 01:30:23,040 --> 01:30:24,840 It's all there for you. 1571 01:30:25,340 --> 01:30:30,440 Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword King Arthur used... 1572 01:30:30,540 --> 01:30:33,040 to bring together the Knights of the Round Table... 1573 01:30:33,240 --> 01:30:37,940 until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen, in the biblical sense. 1574 01:30:38,240 --> 01:30:39,740 Okay, Glenn. 1575 01:30:40,040 --> 01:30:43,040 Everything cool that Susan said, you wrecked it. 1576 01:30:44,740 --> 01:30:46,940 Guys, let's go win ourselves a race, all right? 1577 01:30:47,140 --> 01:30:49,240 - There you go. Yeah! - Right? 1578 01:30:49,440 --> 01:30:51,740 Let's get out there and win a race. 1579 01:31:05,940 --> 01:31:07,440 From Provence, France... 1580 01:31:07,540 --> 01:31:11,240 driver of the number 55 Perrier car... 1581 01:31:11,540 --> 01:31:14,540 Jean Girard. 1582 01:31:21,940 --> 01:31:24,440 From West River, North Carolina... 1583 01:31:24,540 --> 01:31:27,740 driver of the number 47 Old Spice car... 1584 01:31:28,040 --> 01:31:31,240 Cal Naughton Jr. 1585 01:31:40,340 --> 01:31:42,140 Hey, Carley. 1586 01:31:42,340 --> 01:31:45,840 - Hey, Ricky. - Carley! Hey, baby. 1587 01:31:47,840 --> 01:31:49,440 Baby. 1588 01:31:49,540 --> 01:31:51,440 Oh, hey, Ricky. 1589 01:31:51,740 --> 01:31:54,340 Hey, man. We missed you at the wedding. 1590 01:31:54,440 --> 01:31:57,440 - You missed me at the wedding? - Oh, man, it was so classy. 1591 01:31:57,640 --> 01:32:01,140 We had a Styx cover band and a nacho fountain. 1592 01:32:01,340 --> 01:32:04,340 Check it, it was a nacho fountain with six kinds of cheese on it. 1593 01:32:04,540 --> 01:32:07,640 - Liquid cheese? It cascaded down? - Yeah. 1594 01:32:07,840 --> 01:32:10,040 - Are you serious? - Amazing. Six different kinds. 1595 01:32:10,240 --> 01:32:11,824 Swiss, Havarti. What was the other one? 1596 01:32:11,940 --> 01:32:13,040 - Gouda. - Cheddar, Gouda. 1597 01:32:13,240 --> 01:32:15,140 That's the greatest thing I ever heard of. 1598 01:32:15,440 --> 01:32:17,240 Bean buffet in front of it. It was awesome. 1599 01:32:17,440 --> 01:32:20,640 Don't listen to him. And remember one thing, he's the competition. 1600 01:32:20,840 --> 01:32:23,640 You're not very focused right now. I need you to focus. 1601 01:32:23,940 --> 01:32:25,340 - Hey. - What? 1602 01:32:25,540 --> 01:32:27,640 - I'm the Magic Man now. Okay? - Yeah, I know. 1603 01:32:27,940 --> 01:32:30,840 So get ready for some tricks up these sleeves, all right? 1604 01:32:31,140 --> 01:32:32,340 Watch your buns, pal. 1605 01:32:32,440 --> 01:32:35,340 Baby, that is real good talk. Like we practiced last night. 1606 01:32:35,440 --> 01:32:37,940 I got something to tell you, you mangy piece of trash. 1607 01:32:38,140 --> 01:32:40,740 - What? - I'm sorry. 1608 01:32:42,940 --> 01:32:46,440 I took you for granted, Cal, and you were a really good friend to me... 1609 01:32:46,640 --> 01:32:49,840 and I never gave you your due. It was my fault. 1610 01:32:51,040 --> 01:32:54,440 I'll tell you the truth. I'm a little confused by your tactics. 1611 01:32:54,540 --> 01:32:57,440 - Tactics? - Yeah. I'm gonna keep acting tough... 1612 01:32:57,540 --> 01:32:59,740 until I figure it out. All right? 1613 01:33:00,540 --> 01:33:02,240 See you on the track. 1614 01:33:02,440 --> 01:33:04,740 - Come on, baby. - I love you. 1615 01:33:04,940 --> 01:33:06,540 I love you too. Come on. 1616 01:33:06,840 --> 01:33:08,740 Abracadabra, homes. 1617 01:33:12,840 --> 01:33:15,540 Hi, Bill Weber, along with Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons. 1618 01:33:15,840 --> 01:33:19,540 Thanks for having us. Today, Talladega, NASCAR's biggest track... 1619 01:33:19,640 --> 01:33:21,540 where the big concern is the big wreck. 1620 01:33:21,640 --> 01:33:23,740 And it's not if it happens, it's where and when. 1621 01:33:23,940 --> 01:33:27,140 We have a guy in the race today that'll probably cause it, Ricky Bobby. 1622 01:33:27,440 --> 01:33:29,440 Starting in the rear of the field, underfunded... 1623 01:33:29,540 --> 01:33:32,140 and the last time we saw him, he caused a big crash. 1624 01:33:32,440 --> 01:33:35,740 A lot of big stories and some big questions here at Talladega. 1625 01:33:48,540 --> 01:33:50,740 All right, go get them. 1626 01:34:04,840 --> 01:34:06,740 You must decide, Ricky Bobby. 1627 01:34:07,040 --> 01:34:10,640 Is it foolish pride, or is it greatness for you? 1628 01:34:18,840 --> 01:34:21,540 - Hey, Jarvis! - Go ahead, Cal. 1629 01:34:21,840 --> 01:34:24,940 If you slept with your best friend's wife... 1630 01:34:25,140 --> 01:34:28,740 why would he apologize to you? Yeah, I know. That's weird. 1631 01:34:29,040 --> 01:34:32,640 That's what I'm saying. My head's all tied up like a pretzel. 1632 01:34:32,940 --> 01:34:34,440 I got a pretzel in my head. 1633 01:34:39,440 --> 01:34:40,740 - Ricky! - Come on, Dad! 1634 01:35:07,640 --> 01:35:09,540 I've got some big investors coming by. 1635 01:35:09,640 --> 01:35:11,540 These guys are big-money power players. 1636 01:35:11,640 --> 01:35:15,040 If things go right, they could have us owning half the cars in NASCAR. 1637 01:35:15,240 --> 01:35:17,040 So I want you... No, I want you to behave. 1638 01:35:17,240 --> 01:35:18,440 - Oh, really? - Quiet. 1639 01:35:18,540 --> 01:35:20,940 Should I not tell them after 14 years of marriage... 1640 01:35:21,140 --> 01:35:23,240 you're still afraid to let me see you naked? 1641 01:35:23,440 --> 01:35:25,440 That's not a fear thing, it's a trust thing. 1642 01:35:25,940 --> 01:35:28,840 Hey! I was wondering where you guys got off to. 1643 01:35:29,140 --> 01:35:31,240 Baby, this is Ted Beamen from Halliburton. 1644 01:35:31,440 --> 01:35:33,440 - Nice to meet you. - Over here... 1645 01:35:33,540 --> 01:35:36,440 is Dick Tangfield from Dynacorp. 1646 01:35:36,540 --> 01:35:38,540 - Back there is... - You have beautiful teeth. 1647 01:35:38,840 --> 01:35:40,540 Yes, he does. Get yourselves down there. 1648 01:35:40,640 --> 01:35:42,440 - Adorable. - Make yourselves at home... 1649 01:35:42,540 --> 01:35:46,040 grab something to eat, over here... Sweetheart, sweetheart. 1650 01:35:46,240 --> 01:35:47,640 You're a sweetie pie. 1651 01:35:47,840 --> 01:35:50,540 She's very affectionate. She suffered a recent loss... 1652 01:35:50,840 --> 01:35:52,140 You taste good too. 1653 01:35:52,440 --> 01:35:54,240 So she's a little emotional. 1654 01:35:54,440 --> 01:35:58,440 Okay, that's fine. Go ahead, find a seat. Can we get these guys something? 1655 01:35:58,840 --> 01:36:02,140 Jean Girard started from the pole and is out to a big lead. 1656 01:36:02,440 --> 01:36:04,640 As you know, Bill, he's been doing that all year. 1657 01:36:07,140 --> 01:36:11,740 Where are you, Ricky Bobby? Come face your destroyer! 1658 01:36:12,040 --> 01:36:14,540 "Come face your destroyer"? Listen to how I sound. 1659 01:36:14,640 --> 01:36:16,440 I sound like a massive prick. 1660 01:36:18,640 --> 01:36:20,240 Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it. 1661 01:36:20,540 --> 01:36:23,340 All right, Lucius. Time to let the cougar loose. 1662 01:36:25,640 --> 01:36:27,440 Here we go, boys. 1663 01:36:35,240 --> 01:36:37,640 Ricky Bobby, in the 62 car, on the move. 1664 01:36:37,840 --> 01:36:40,040 He's gone from 26th to 18th place. 1665 01:36:40,340 --> 01:36:43,840 Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the stands with a country-music legend. 1666 01:36:44,140 --> 01:36:47,340 Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one of the greatest country-music stars... 1667 01:36:47,440 --> 01:36:49,240 of all time, Kenny Rogers. 1668 01:36:49,540 --> 01:36:53,440 - What do you think of the race so far? - It's good. They're going really fast. 1669 01:36:53,540 --> 01:36:55,640 John, that's not Kenny Rogers. 1670 01:36:55,840 --> 01:36:58,340 In the song "The Gambler," you sang: 1671 01:36:58,440 --> 01:37:01,640 "You gotta know when to walk away and know when to run." 1672 01:37:01,840 --> 01:37:04,340 Should Ricky Bobby have stayed away from racing? 1673 01:37:04,440 --> 01:37:09,640 Mr. Bobby's very competitive. If he wants to race, he should race. 1674 01:37:10,040 --> 01:37:13,840 Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny Rogers. And now back to you, Bill. 1675 01:37:14,040 --> 01:37:15,940 Well, that, of course, was not Kenny Rogers. 1676 01:37:16,240 --> 01:37:17,140 Not even close. 1677 01:37:18,240 --> 01:37:20,340 Ricky, you've got Brian Wavecrest... 1678 01:37:20,440 --> 01:37:22,940 the guy that replaced you at Dennit, dead ahead. 1679 01:37:23,240 --> 01:37:25,840 Bobby working really hard to pass the Wonder Bread car. 1680 01:37:26,040 --> 01:37:27,840 That's his old ride, of course. 1681 01:37:34,440 --> 01:37:36,740 We've passed the halfway mark with Ricky Bobby... 1682 01:37:37,040 --> 01:37:40,040 now three car lengths behind the leader. 1683 01:37:40,240 --> 01:37:43,440 Maybe subconsciously you slept with Ricky's wife... 1684 01:37:43,540 --> 01:37:45,340 as a way of getting back at him... 1685 01:37:45,640 --> 01:37:48,340 for making you come in second all those years. 1686 01:37:48,640 --> 01:37:52,640 I know one thing, Carley was definitely unconscious every time we had sex. 1687 01:37:54,440 --> 01:37:56,640 Lucius, I got Cal Naughton dead ahead of me. 1688 01:37:59,940 --> 01:38:02,640 Hey, Cal, you should pay attention. I think he's passing you. 1689 01:38:02,840 --> 01:38:05,040 Is Ricky passing me in my subconscious? 1690 01:38:05,340 --> 01:38:08,140 No, he's actually passing you. That's happening right now. 1691 01:38:08,540 --> 01:38:10,840 Go, Ricky! Go! 1692 01:38:11,040 --> 01:38:12,540 Let's go back to our John Hannafin... 1693 01:38:12,840 --> 01:38:16,340 who's in the stands with an NBA legend, Larry Bird. 1694 01:38:16,640 --> 01:38:18,940 Folks, I'm here with one of the great NBA superstars... 1695 01:38:19,140 --> 01:38:20,840 a real legend, Larry Bird. 1696 01:38:21,040 --> 01:38:24,240 I almost didn't recognize you with the sunglasses. What are you up to? 1697 01:38:24,540 --> 01:38:26,040 Come on, John, pay attention. 1698 01:38:26,340 --> 01:38:28,440 I'm concerned. He might have had a stroke. 1699 01:38:28,540 --> 01:38:31,140 Didn't Ricky Bobby used to drive for you? 1700 01:38:31,440 --> 01:38:33,340 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - He's doing quite well. 1701 01:38:33,540 --> 01:38:36,540 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard! 1702 01:38:37,440 --> 01:38:39,740 Get Cal Naughton's crew chief on the radio right away. 1703 01:38:41,540 --> 01:38:45,540 I believe you have some tickets waiting for me. My name's Reese Bobby. 1704 01:38:46,040 --> 01:38:47,440 Reese Bobby. 1705 01:38:49,040 --> 01:38:52,540 Mister, these tickets have been waiting for you for a long time. 1706 01:38:59,540 --> 01:39:01,840 Who needs two? I got tickets! 1707 01:39:02,140 --> 01:39:04,240 Tickets, right here, 60 bucks a pop. 1708 01:39:11,540 --> 01:39:15,540 All right, Girard, I found you. Now let's see where this goes. 1709 01:39:16,040 --> 01:39:17,540 Bobby's gotten around Naughton... 1710 01:39:17,640 --> 01:39:21,340 and now he's right behind Girard, but Girard's gonna block the track. 1711 01:39:21,540 --> 01:39:23,540 Man, he's scary good. 1712 01:39:23,640 --> 01:39:25,840 Ah, Ricky Bobby. 1713 01:39:26,040 --> 01:39:30,540 Now we shall dance, and yes, it will be a slow jam. 1714 01:39:36,840 --> 01:39:39,240 Damn it. Come on, man. 1715 01:39:42,140 --> 01:39:44,540 I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby. 1716 01:39:44,640 --> 01:39:47,140 You are not the one to defeat me. 1717 01:39:50,940 --> 01:39:52,340 I can't get around him, man. 1718 01:39:56,440 --> 01:39:58,940 You tell Cal Naughton to take Ricky Bobby out. 1719 01:39:59,240 --> 01:40:03,240 Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add to your tremendous moral confusion... 1720 01:40:03,440 --> 01:40:04,774 but I just heard from Dennit. 1721 01:40:05,040 --> 01:40:08,040 He said to take Ricky Bobby out of the race or you're fired, buddy. 1722 01:40:08,340 --> 01:40:09,640 What are you talking about? 1723 01:40:09,840 --> 01:40:13,440 Tell him if he doesn't do it, he's done. That's right, he'll be driving a tour bus. 1724 01:40:13,740 --> 01:40:18,240 Well, you tell Mr. Dennit that Ricky Bobby is my best friend. 1725 01:40:18,440 --> 01:40:21,240 - And it's Shake and Bake time. - Cal, I don't like the way... 1726 01:40:21,440 --> 01:40:24,840 you're talking out there. Damn the torpedoes! 1727 01:40:33,040 --> 01:40:37,040 Come on, man, slingshot it. Slingshot, come on. 1728 01:40:37,440 --> 01:40:40,440 I can't believe it. If it isn't Mike Honcho himself. 1729 01:40:40,740 --> 01:40:42,140 Shake and Bake, buddy! 1730 01:40:42,440 --> 01:40:44,240 Shake it before you bake it. 1731 01:40:45,140 --> 01:40:48,640 Here I come. Slingshot engaged. 1732 01:40:51,740 --> 01:40:53,440 Yeah! 1733 01:40:54,240 --> 01:40:55,640 I love you, Cal! 1734 01:40:55,940 --> 01:40:58,640 - What are you doing? - Can't believe it. Now I've seen it all. 1735 01:40:58,940 --> 01:41:03,640 Cal Naughton from Dennit Racing just helped a rival driver pass a teammate. 1736 01:41:05,640 --> 01:41:09,940 Darrell, you tell Brian Wavecrest to take out Cal Naughton right now. 1737 01:41:10,140 --> 01:41:12,440 Right now, you do it. You do it! 1738 01:41:13,340 --> 01:41:14,440 Yes, sir. 1739 01:41:22,240 --> 01:41:25,240 And the 26 car just ran Naughton into the wall. 1740 01:41:31,340 --> 01:41:32,740 Oh, man. 1741 01:41:38,640 --> 01:41:40,640 Damn you, Wavecrest! 1742 01:41:44,240 --> 01:41:48,240 The entire field was in that wreck, and we've only got six laps to go. 1743 01:41:48,540 --> 01:41:51,540 Only Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard got away clean. 1744 01:41:54,040 --> 01:41:56,540 It's just Jean and Ricky. 1745 01:42:00,840 --> 01:42:05,540 And now the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker. 1746 01:42:07,540 --> 01:42:10,640 Race officials have completed an extensive cleanup of the track. 1747 01:42:10,940 --> 01:42:12,440 We're ready to get back to racing. 1748 01:42:12,540 --> 01:42:16,040 The 200,000 fans are on their feet, and the green flag is in the air. 1749 01:42:25,440 --> 01:42:27,840 Bobby and Girard are dueling each other for the lead. 1750 01:42:28,140 --> 01:42:30,440 No one seems to have the edge. 1751 01:42:30,540 --> 01:42:32,640 Go, go, go! Come on, come on, go! 1752 01:42:32,840 --> 01:42:35,640 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final lap. 1753 01:42:38,740 --> 01:42:42,540 By the way, Ricky, I watched the Highlander movie. 1754 01:42:42,840 --> 01:42:44,240 It was shit. 1755 01:42:46,040 --> 01:42:48,440 Hang on, baby Jesus, this is gonna get bumpy. 1756 01:43:15,340 --> 01:43:17,340 I've seen a lot of big crashes at Talladega... 1757 01:43:17,640 --> 01:43:19,515 but this is the longest one I've ever seen. 1758 01:43:19,640 --> 01:43:22,440 Let's take a quick commercial break and we'll be right back. 1759 01:43:22,540 --> 01:43:24,540 Hungry for both steak and shrimp? 1760 01:43:32,440 --> 01:43:36,240 Welcome back to Talladega, where the long one continues. 1761 01:43:43,640 --> 01:43:47,540 No, no! Jean Girard and Ricky Bobby have wrecked in the last lap... 1762 01:43:47,840 --> 01:43:49,540 on the straightaway. What a shame. 1763 01:43:49,740 --> 01:43:51,540 Oh, God. 1764 01:43:52,640 --> 01:43:56,440 It looks like neither Girard or Bobby will finish this race. 1765 01:43:56,540 --> 01:43:59,840 We'd like to thank you for joining us for NBC's coverage of NAS CAR. 1766 01:44:00,040 --> 01:44:03,040 Coming up next, it's Ice Dancing to the Hits of Motown. 1767 01:44:22,640 --> 01:44:25,440 Wait a minute, there's something going on on the track down there. 1768 01:44:25,740 --> 01:44:27,940 Oh, my God, they're racing each other on foot. 1769 01:44:28,240 --> 01:44:29,440 These men will not quit. 1770 01:44:29,740 --> 01:44:31,840 Go! Go! 1771 01:44:34,440 --> 01:44:37,140 Ricky, Ricky. He's going, he's going, he's going. Look! 1772 01:45:14,640 --> 01:45:16,440 He did it! 1773 01:45:23,040 --> 01:45:25,140 Well, I'll be damned. 1774 01:45:26,540 --> 01:45:28,540 Good for you, Ricky Bobby. 1775 01:45:34,540 --> 01:45:36,640 Yeah! Yeah! 1776 01:45:36,840 --> 01:45:38,240 Ricky Bobby wins! 1777 01:45:38,440 --> 01:45:40,940 You'll never see anything like that in a hundred lifetimes. 1778 01:45:41,240 --> 01:45:44,740 It was completely illegal and in no way will count, but that was something. 1779 01:45:45,040 --> 01:45:47,440 It was. That was really good. 1780 01:45:49,940 --> 01:45:53,540 Monsieur Bobby, by defeating me today... 1781 01:45:53,640 --> 01:45:56,240 you have set me free. 1782 01:45:56,440 --> 01:45:58,840 And for that, I thank you. 1783 01:46:00,840 --> 01:46:04,440 I will never shake your hand, ever. 1784 01:46:06,440 --> 01:46:08,540 But I will give you this. 1785 01:46:29,840 --> 01:46:34,640 Sir, you taste of America. 1786 01:46:35,940 --> 01:46:37,840 Thank you. 1787 01:46:42,840 --> 01:46:45,940 No, once was good. Once was good. 1788 01:46:50,440 --> 01:46:53,340 Boy, that Halliburton. Halliburton's taken off, haven't they? 1789 01:46:53,540 --> 01:46:54,840 Yeah, yeah, we're doing well. 1790 01:46:55,040 --> 01:46:57,740 Now there's some stock I'd like to get my hands on. 1791 01:46:58,040 --> 01:47:00,040 Ladies and gentlemen, NASCAR fans... 1792 01:47:00,240 --> 01:47:02,740 your eyes on Talladega's famed Victory Lane... 1793 01:47:03,040 --> 01:47:04,840 as we get ready for trophy time here... 1794 01:47:05,040 --> 01:47:08,240 following an exciting running of the Talladega 500. 1795 01:47:08,440 --> 01:47:10,640 First, a very brief explanation. 1796 01:47:10,840 --> 01:47:15,340 Because the drivers that finished first and second got out of their cars... 1797 01:47:15,440 --> 01:47:18,040 they have officially been disqualified. 1798 01:47:18,240 --> 01:47:21,940 So now the winner, he was third, he's now number one: 1799 01:47:22,640 --> 01:47:26,040 Cal Naughton Jr.! 1800 01:47:27,240 --> 01:47:28,840 Yeah, come on, guys! 1801 01:47:31,540 --> 01:47:34,440 - Give me that thing. - Cal, you're number one! 1802 01:47:34,540 --> 01:47:37,240 I've been waiting a long time for you to say my name, man. 1803 01:47:37,440 --> 01:47:40,440 I know it's a technicality, but I tell you what... 1804 01:47:40,640 --> 01:47:43,940 you try to take this away from me, I'll sock you in the face. 1805 01:47:44,240 --> 01:47:45,940 Ricky. 1806 01:47:46,240 --> 01:47:47,840 Give me that thing. 1807 01:47:50,640 --> 01:47:53,840 I can't believe it. I can't believe it! 1808 01:47:54,440 --> 01:47:57,440 - Cal! - Put me down. 1809 01:47:57,540 --> 01:47:59,240 I'm proud of you! 1810 01:47:59,440 --> 01:48:02,940 Get up here, man. No, you come up here. 1811 01:48:03,240 --> 01:48:04,440 You come up here. 1812 01:48:07,740 --> 01:48:10,140 - Cal Naughton! Cal Naughton. - Oh, my God. 1813 01:48:10,440 --> 01:48:13,240 For this to happen... Am I dead, man? 1814 01:48:13,540 --> 01:48:15,640 You won the Talladega 500, all right? 1815 01:48:17,240 --> 01:48:18,640 I owe you an apology. 1816 01:48:19,240 --> 01:48:21,540 - Come on. - Man, I'm sorry about Carley. 1817 01:48:21,840 --> 01:48:24,640 She walked straight up to me and grabbed me in the crotch. 1818 01:48:24,940 --> 01:48:28,440 - It's like a tractor beam of hotness. - I know. 1819 01:48:29,740 --> 01:48:31,640 Shake and Bake? 1820 01:48:33,040 --> 01:48:36,240 No. Never again. 1821 01:48:38,240 --> 01:48:42,240 You're right. I was a total dick, man. 1822 01:48:42,640 --> 01:48:44,740 From now on... 1823 01:48:46,040 --> 01:48:48,240 it's Magic Man... 1824 01:48:48,440 --> 01:48:49,840 and El Diablo. 1825 01:48:50,840 --> 01:48:52,540 What's "Diablo" mean? 1826 01:48:52,740 --> 01:48:54,040 It's like, you know... 1827 01:48:54,240 --> 01:48:56,440 It's like Spanish for, like, a fighting chicken. 1828 01:48:56,540 --> 01:48:58,040 - That's awesome. - I know. 1829 01:48:58,240 --> 01:49:01,340 - With the claws. - With the claws and the beak. 1830 01:49:01,640 --> 01:49:02,840 Where did you think of that? 1831 01:49:03,140 --> 01:49:04,640 You just... Sometimes things click. 1832 01:49:05,440 --> 01:49:07,740 - I love you, bro. - I love you too. 1833 01:49:09,440 --> 01:49:13,240 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I can't believe it! 1834 01:49:14,040 --> 01:49:17,440 Excuse me, guys. Nice job. 1835 01:49:17,540 --> 01:49:19,040 Hey, Ricky. 1836 01:49:19,640 --> 01:49:20,740 Hey, Carley. 1837 01:49:21,040 --> 01:49:24,640 I've decided I can love you again. You're a winner. 1838 01:49:25,240 --> 01:49:27,540 - Yeah, I don't think so. - Really? 1839 01:49:27,640 --> 01:49:32,640 Are you prepared to walk away from these pearls... 1840 01:49:33,940 --> 01:49:35,240 of delight? 1841 01:49:39,640 --> 01:49:43,340 Well... Yeah, this is tough. How would it work? 1842 01:49:43,640 --> 01:49:45,240 - Would Cal move out? - Yep, gone. 1843 01:49:45,540 --> 01:49:47,440 Kids move back in? 1844 01:49:47,640 --> 01:49:50,840 - Can I just have a little refresher? - Of course, baby. 1845 01:49:52,440 --> 01:49:54,340 This is why you fell in love, don't forget. 1846 01:49:54,440 --> 01:49:56,840 Yeah, I'm in. I'm moving in right now. 1847 01:49:57,040 --> 01:49:58,940 I'll drive 100 miles an hour to your house. 1848 01:49:59,140 --> 01:50:00,849 - Our house. Our house. - Our house, yeah. 1849 01:50:01,040 --> 01:50:03,340 No, I'm not. Come on. It's gonna be awkward. 1850 01:50:03,440 --> 01:50:05,140 - Hey, baby. - Hey. 1851 01:50:07,340 --> 01:50:09,040 Wait a minute. 1852 01:50:09,340 --> 01:50:12,540 You are ready to walk away... 1853 01:50:12,640 --> 01:50:16,340 from FHM magazine's number seven hottest ass... 1854 01:50:16,640 --> 01:50:20,340 for the girl who forgets to get your dry cleaning? 1855 01:50:20,640 --> 01:50:21,940 - Yeah. - Yeah? 1856 01:50:22,340 --> 01:50:24,840 - Yeah. - Good luck, weirdoes. 1857 01:50:25,140 --> 01:50:26,840 - Carley, come back here. - Yes, Susie Q? 1858 01:50:27,040 --> 01:50:30,040 There's something I've wanted to tell you for a really long time. 1859 01:50:31,340 --> 01:50:34,540 Thank you. Maybe one together? 1860 01:50:35,440 --> 01:50:38,440 - Susie Q, are those real? - Yeah. 1861 01:50:38,640 --> 01:50:41,540 Well, girl, you got some game. 1862 01:50:43,440 --> 01:50:45,340 - We'll see you on down the road. - Yeah. 1863 01:50:45,440 --> 01:50:47,340 - You seen Cal? - He's somewhere around here. 1864 01:50:47,440 --> 01:50:50,540 Hey, Cal! Baby, I'm coming. Thanks, baby. 1865 01:50:51,540 --> 01:50:54,240 - Maybe one more? - Oh, boys. 1866 01:50:54,440 --> 01:50:55,840 - She's crazy. - Oh, thank you. 1867 01:50:56,240 --> 01:50:57,640 - You did good. - Thanks, Mama. 1868 01:50:57,940 --> 01:50:59,340 He's amazing. 1869 01:50:59,440 --> 01:51:01,540 That was one heck of a day, I gotta say. 1870 01:51:01,840 --> 01:51:04,540 That's some nice driving there, cowboy. 1871 01:51:04,840 --> 01:51:07,540 - Hey, Daddy. - Well, hello, Reese. 1872 01:51:07,740 --> 01:51:12,440 Well, if it isn't our old mangy, transient grandfather. 1873 01:51:12,740 --> 01:51:15,540 Well said, grandson. Take that as a compliment. 1874 01:51:15,640 --> 01:51:18,740 Hey, Ricky, let me ask you a question. 1875 01:51:21,740 --> 01:51:23,540 Who did you win that race for? 1876 01:51:23,640 --> 01:51:25,740 Well, I sure as hell didn't win it for you. 1877 01:51:26,440 --> 01:51:27,840 I like hearing that. 1878 01:51:28,940 --> 01:51:31,540 I guess if I really gotta think about it... 1879 01:51:31,940 --> 01:51:34,540 I just went out there and drove. 1880 01:51:34,840 --> 01:51:37,040 And knew that no matter what happened... 1881 01:51:37,640 --> 01:51:43,240 my boys, my mama, and my lady would love me. 1882 01:51:44,540 --> 01:51:47,540 Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan. 1883 01:51:47,640 --> 01:51:50,440 I painted the car, I... We had sex. 1884 01:51:50,540 --> 01:51:52,440 - Is that right? - Yeah. 1885 01:51:52,640 --> 01:51:54,640 Well, I wish I could've been there for that. 1886 01:51:54,840 --> 01:51:57,440 Son, I'm proud of you. 1887 01:51:58,840 --> 01:52:03,340 Yep. Yeah, I think... I guess things are... 1888 01:52:04,440 --> 01:52:06,440 just pretty much perfect right now. 1889 01:52:08,540 --> 01:52:10,540 It's making me a little itchy. 1890 01:52:12,340 --> 01:52:15,440 Well, what do you say we get thrown out of an Applebee's? 1891 01:52:15,740 --> 01:52:18,140 - That sound like a good idea? - You read my mind, son. 1892 01:52:18,440 --> 01:52:20,840 - You can cuss at Applebee's. - Everybody pile in. 1893 01:52:21,040 --> 01:52:22,840 How does one get thrown out of Applebee's? 1894 01:52:23,040 --> 01:52:25,440 - You're about to find out. - Okay. 1895 01:52:25,740 --> 01:52:27,640 Watch, the doors actually open. 1896 01:52:59,040 --> 01:53:01,440 - Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby. - And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. 1897 01:53:01,740 --> 01:53:05,040 We just want to take a moment to talk to you about snow blindness in cats. 1898 01:53:05,340 --> 01:53:07,440 It's affecting more and more cats every year. 1899 01:53:07,640 --> 01:53:10,340 And it scares the living shit out of us. 1900 01:53:11,540 --> 01:53:14,340 Ninety-eight percent of us will die at some point in our lives. 1901 01:53:14,440 --> 01:53:17,440 The darkness is creeping towards you, whether you know it or not. 1902 01:53:17,540 --> 01:53:19,240 A little planning can go a long way. 1903 01:53:19,540 --> 01:53:21,440 Listen, leaving your big old corpse behind... 1904 01:53:21,540 --> 01:53:23,640 for your loved ones to deal with ain't cool. 1905 01:53:23,840 --> 01:53:26,340 That's why you should call McCreedy Funeral Service. 1906 01:53:26,540 --> 01:53:30,340 McCreedy's. They'll find the hole and build the box. 1907 01:53:30,640 --> 01:53:33,840 Bodies that look so good, you're gonna wanna talk to it. 1908 01:53:37,540 --> 01:53:39,640 We like to have a lot of laughs on the racetrack... 1909 01:53:39,840 --> 01:53:42,240 but today we wanna talk about something serious: 1910 01:53:42,440 --> 01:53:46,440 Packs of stray dogs that control most of the major cities. 1911 01:53:48,640 --> 01:53:52,540 That's packs of wild, vicious dogs that are controlling most of... 1912 01:53:52,640 --> 01:53:53,640 Sorry. 1913 01:53:54,240 --> 01:53:57,240 I like to picture Jesus like a mischievous badger. 1914 01:53:57,540 --> 01:53:59,540 Like a muscular trapeze artist. 1915 01:53:59,740 --> 01:54:03,140 Like a shapeshifter or a changeling, like that guy. 1916 01:54:03,340 --> 01:54:04,940 You ever hear of that TV show Manimal? 1917 01:54:05,240 --> 01:54:08,240 I like to think of Jesus as a figure skater... 1918 01:54:08,540 --> 01:54:10,140 who wears, like, a white outfit... 1919 01:54:10,340 --> 01:54:13,740 and he does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey. 1920 01:54:14,040 --> 01:54:15,940 Like a dirty old bum. 1921 01:54:16,140 --> 01:54:19,440 He comes up to me, I'm about to sock him one because he's a dirty old bum. 1922 01:54:19,540 --> 01:54:22,040 Then I said, "Wait a minute, I better not sock this guy. 1923 01:54:22,240 --> 01:54:23,540 Something special about him." 1924 01:54:23,640 --> 01:54:26,040 - Yeah, and it turns out it's Jesus. - Yeah. 1925 01:54:26,540 --> 01:54:28,440 One, two... Oh, God. 1926 01:54:28,740 --> 01:54:32,140 - Not again! No go. No go! - It's stuck. It's stuck. 1927 01:54:32,640 --> 01:54:34,240 We got two knives in my leg. 1928 01:54:34,540 --> 01:54:37,740 I know, but one is a safety knife. One is a safety. 1929 01:54:40,040 --> 01:54:41,540 It's coming out. It's coming out. 1930 01:54:41,640 --> 01:54:43,140 I'm choking on my own spit. 1931 01:54:43,440 --> 01:54:45,840 It hurts so bad I'm choking on my own spit. 1932 01:54:46,240 --> 01:54:48,440 Good night, guys. I'm losing a lot of blood. 1933 01:54:48,640 --> 01:54:50,440 - Just relax, man. - Good night. 1934 01:54:50,640 --> 01:54:53,340 Ricky! Wake... 1935 01:54:54,940 --> 01:54:59,940 Sometimes, when it's late at night, I dress up like Donna Summers. 1936 01:55:00,240 --> 01:55:04,740 You know, I put on the skirt and the four-inch heels, man. 1937 01:55:05,040 --> 01:55:06,440 I love it. 1938 01:55:16,140 --> 01:55:17,940 Sorry. Sorry. 1939 01:55:19,540 --> 01:55:22,840 I would be honored if you would let me sign your cast. 1940 01:55:23,040 --> 01:55:25,440 And I would be honored if you'd sign my balls. 1941 01:55:25,740 --> 01:55:28,240 - Oh, baby, that is a good one. - Hey, what are you doing? 1942 02:00:45,640 --> 02:00:49,040 "Don't touch a one of them. They're mine." 1943 02:00:51,640 --> 02:00:54,540 So, what do you think that story was about? 1944 02:00:54,840 --> 02:00:57,540 Doesn't the bear symbolize the old South... 1945 02:00:57,840 --> 02:01:01,840 and the new dog, the encroaching industrialization of the North? 1946 02:01:02,140 --> 02:01:07,040 Duh. But the question is, should the reader feel relief or sadness... 1947 02:01:07,240 --> 02:01:08,840 at the passing of the old South? 1948 02:01:09,040 --> 02:01:10,640 Well, how about both? 1949 02:01:10,840 --> 02:01:13,840 Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity. 1950 02:01:14,140 --> 02:01:18,440 The hallmark of all early 20th-century American fiction. 1951 02:01:18,540 --> 02:01:21,640 - Great analysis, Walker. - Thank you. 161009

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