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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:26,103 --> 00:01:29,227 And now it's time for "The Gig of Life." 2 00:01:29,307 --> 00:01:32,003 What's hot, what's not in the world of rock. 3 00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:35,686 Remember Metal Assassin led by Chilean-born Turk Enry? 4 00:01:35,766 --> 00:01:39,224 At the time of their tender breakout hit "Teenage Ass Patrol"... 5 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:48,552 ...they seemed unstoppable, until they stopped. 6 00:01:48,632 --> 00:01:52,249 The band kicked Turk out when he met his very own Yoko Ono. 7 00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:55,653 Her name was Sheila, and Turk began a long fade to black... 8 00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:59,053 ...whilst his ex-bandmates released Neptune of Cock. 9 00:01:59,603 --> 00:02:01,459 It sold in the millions. 10 00:02:01,539 --> 00:02:05,596 Turk, by contrast, was enjoying external tours off his body. 11 00:02:05,676 --> 00:02:09,319 Now a recluse, Turk has reportedly not left his Malibu mansion... 12 00:02:09,399 --> 00:02:12,804 ...in over two years, which qualifies him for this week's... 13 00:02:12,884 --> 00:02:16,661 - ...down and out celebrity in rock. - Sheila! 14 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:23,531 Speak English, Pepito. You know perfectly well I don't speak Spanish. 15 00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:27,053 - I'm English from London, remember? - Okay, can I help, sir? 16 00:02:27,133 --> 00:02:30,024 Yes. Yes, you could help me. I need to throw this TV... 17 00:02:30,104 --> 00:02:32,023 - ...into the pool! - �Que? 18 00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:35,029 This TV set into the swimming pool! 19 00:02:35,109 --> 00:02:38,319 - Yeah, okay. Okay. - Okay? Okay? 20 00:02:45,648 --> 00:02:47,305 Sheila! 21 00:02:47,785 --> 00:02:49,974 Would you like to check the guarantee first? 22 00:02:50,054 --> 00:02:51,331 Sheila! 23 00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:01,535 Sheila! 24 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,711 I'm up here packing for our trip to Chile! 25 00:03:13,274 --> 00:03:16,295 - Sheila. - Yes, Turk? 26 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,704 I have decided I don't want to go on vacation. 27 00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,588 Vacations are too stressful. 28 00:03:23,668 --> 00:03:26,830 But we're going there so that I can learn more about your culture. 29 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:30,754 But Chile's not my home. I can't even speak Spanish. 30 00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:34,117 You mean you won't even speak Spanish. Come on. They love you back there. 31 00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:38,088 - Your picture's on every wall. - Well, but I was young then, you know? 32 00:03:38,168 --> 00:03:42,926 Sorry... younger than now, where I'm also young. 33 00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:45,596 And we need some time alone. 34 00:03:45,676 --> 00:03:49,533 You know, no assistants, no bodyguards, no drivers. 35 00:03:49,613 --> 00:03:52,519 No nobody. Just us. 36 00:03:52,849 --> 00:03:55,859 Maybe you'll get inspired. Maybe you'll start writing again. 37 00:03:55,939 --> 00:03:59,363 Oh, no, my chair is here. I want to sit in my chair. 38 00:03:59,443 --> 00:04:02,402 - I love my chair! - Fine! 39 00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:06,973 You can stay if you get rid of that hunk of junk that's been rotting in our front yard. 40 00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:10,587 That van is a reminder of how far I have come. 41 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,190 You know, it keeps me down to Earth. Be careful there! 42 00:04:13,270 --> 00:04:14,908 Yeah, of course. It keeps you down to Earth. 43 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:18,678 You just got a delivery of a crate of beer that says it was brewed in space. 44 00:04:19,348 --> 00:04:21,681 So we keep the van, right? 45 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,264 - Fine! Chile it is. - Yeah. 46 00:04:24,344 --> 00:04:27,921 Besides, I have already been back to Chile, you know? 47 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:31,080 That was on tour! That doesn't count! 48 00:04:33,739 --> 00:04:36,296 - What? - When I was on tour there... 49 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:40,100 ...I got so drunk in a bar in Valparaiso... 50 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:43,736 ...that I had a piss that lasted seven minutes. 51 00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:46,073 You know, the owner was so impressed... 52 00:04:46,173 --> 00:04:49,009 ...he told me he would build a statue to commemorate it. 53 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,079 That's great. So we'll go and visit the shrine to your piss. 54 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,880 - Yeah? - Go and pack. 55 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,342 - I have already packed. - Then go and watch TV. 56 00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,064 We're in Chile! 57 00:05:23,155 --> 00:05:25,435 Oh, baby, baby. Look, look! 58 00:05:30,203 --> 00:05:33,193 Look, the trains in Chile are blue! See? 59 00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:48,224 Baby! Baby! 60 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,563 - Gracias! - Gracias! 61 00:06:12,776 --> 00:06:15,285 Where is your assistance? Turk! 62 00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,793 Why is this place so empty? 63 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,390 Hey, hey, lady. 64 00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,459 Why it's so cold here? 65 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,796 It's winter, sir. 66 00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:52,090 I'm not good with months, but it's July, right? 67 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:59,173 I don't speak Spanish. I am English... 68 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:02,149 ...so I do speak beer, and, yes, I would love one. 69 00:07:02,229 --> 00:07:04,111 - Beer. - Yes, indeed. 70 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,237 Beer is always in season. 71 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,272 Turk! 72 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:13,280 I'm here! Oh, shit. 73 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,157 - Baby. - Hey, hey, hey. 74 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,193 You knew it was winter. 75 00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:22,319 Yeah, it's July. In Chile, July is winter. 76 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:26,126 - July is summer. - Who's your new friend? 77 00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:28,935 He's my new manager, you know. 78 00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:33,160 I'm gonna fire John. This little dude over here can get me everything I need now. 79 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,808 Beer. 80 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,578 - He just gets me. All right. - Yeah, okay. 81 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,470 We have to get going. We leave in six minutes. 82 00:07:40,562 --> 00:07:44,685 Do you wanna come on a beautiful, breathtaking, once-in-a-lifetime hike... 83 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,720 ...through the mountains with your loving wife... 84 00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:49,720 ...or do you wanna lie here alone in the cold and drink beer? 85 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,031 Beer. 86 00:07:52,621 --> 00:07:54,942 He makes a compelling argument. 87 00:07:55,022 --> 00:07:59,383 - Where is your sense of adventure? - Well, I have done three world tours. 88 00:07:59,463 --> 00:08:01,909 I'm told they were very... 89 00:08:06,335 --> 00:08:08,959 - ...eventful. - Please, Turk. 90 00:08:09,039 --> 00:08:13,284 You need to do something. The band's over, not your life. 91 00:08:13,364 --> 00:08:17,321 Well, yeah, you better get going. Your trip leaves in, like, three minutes. 92 00:08:17,401 --> 00:08:20,905 Yeah, sure. I get it. I get that you don't like anything anymore. 93 00:08:20,985 --> 00:08:23,339 - Oh, no. - But do you at least like me? 94 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:26,909 Be honest. Am I Yoko Ono? 95 00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,615 Of course not. 96 00:08:29,925 --> 00:08:31,449 Babe. 97 00:08:32,229 --> 00:08:34,551 I'll see you when you get back. 98 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:38,726 I love you. Have fun. 99 00:08:43,573 --> 00:08:45,385 Well, have fun. 100 00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:53,451 Beer time. Give it to me. Yeah! Oh, yeah. 101 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,464 Mr. Enry won't be joining us. 102 00:08:58,754 --> 00:09:01,168 - Thank you, ma'am. - Thanks. 103 00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,615 No, no. This is my better side. 104 00:09:04,895 --> 00:09:06,583 - Hello. - Hello. 105 00:09:06,663 --> 00:09:08,252 You know you shouldn't tip them. 106 00:09:08,332 --> 00:09:12,289 Yeah, you can't let them think that they can earn money just by being nice. 107 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,852 Are you excited about the llamas? 108 00:09:15,006 --> 00:09:17,227 Me and Charlie cannot wait to see the llamas. 109 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:21,131 - I can give or take the llamas. - Charlie, you bloody fibber. 110 00:09:21,211 --> 00:09:24,091 He wouldn't stop talking about them back at the hotel. 111 00:09:25,114 --> 00:09:28,729 Amy, let's start a Facebook live feed. 112 00:09:50,239 --> 00:09:51,920 Here we are. 113 00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:58,535 Se�ores, se�oras. Bienvenidos. Welcome. 114 00:09:58,615 --> 00:10:03,006 As we make our way up the trail, please be careful not to startle the llamas, okay? 115 00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:06,306 - They don't take it very well. - Can you say something really ethnic? 116 00:10:06,386 --> 00:10:08,112 I don't think we say the word "ethnic" anymore. 117 00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:11,295 Guys! Guys! The llamas, they're here, okay? Just come, be quiet. 118 00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:14,995 Charlie, don't get too excited. Remember what happened with that kangaroo. 119 00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:30,834 So beautiful! 120 00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:34,105 Damn right. 121 00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:37,681 God, it's fur is gonna look gorgeous as a rug in my den. 122 00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:40,411 What? What are you doing? 123 00:10:40,991 --> 00:10:46,417 - I thought this was a sightseeing tour? - You pay, you see, you shoot, you whatever. 124 00:10:47,597 --> 00:10:50,855 Why would you want to shoot these creatures? What is wrong with you? 125 00:10:50,935 --> 00:10:53,157 We came all the way down here to the inferior hemisphere. 126 00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:55,950 We're definitely gonna shoot something. 127 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,229 - I'm not gonna let you do this. - I don't think you can stop us, honey. 128 00:10:59,309 --> 00:11:00,887 Yeah. 129 00:11:03,781 --> 00:11:07,858 Get out of here! These are bad people! Bad, bad people! 130 00:11:11,653 --> 00:11:13,881 All right, darlin', we warned ya. 131 00:11:13,961 --> 00:11:16,203 Now get out of the way before we fire. 132 00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:27,264 Well, looky here. A perfect bathmat. 133 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,915 - Oh, my God! - What are they saying? 134 00:11:51,995 --> 00:11:54,096 They say, "we want the white people." 135 00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,157 Okay. 136 00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:02,349 - Wait! Are you just gonna leave us? - Yes! Goodbye! 137 00:12:03,038 --> 00:12:06,253 Do you have any idea who I am? 138 00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,222 Any idea at all? 139 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:14,904 I am only the CEO of Dynet Media! 140 00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,831 World leader in viral marketing. Ring any bells? 141 00:12:20,857 --> 00:12:22,980 You don't even know what viral marketing is, do you? 142 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:24,681 Be quiet and get up! 143 00:12:24,761 --> 00:12:27,268 - I will not get up. - I shall not get up, either. 144 00:12:27,349 --> 00:12:31,455 There's a reason they keep you people down here in the bottom of the planet. 145 00:12:31,535 --> 00:12:36,894 Now, I have come to this toilet of a country to shoot a llama... 146 00:12:36,974 --> 00:12:41,588 ...and by God, I am going to shoot a llama! 147 00:12:48,986 --> 00:12:51,874 Never mess with a llama. 148 00:12:51,954 --> 00:12:54,945 Don't mistake their benevolence for weakness. 149 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:57,303 They are a proud beast. 150 00:13:00,063 --> 00:13:01,284 - Vamos. Vamos. - No! 151 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,126 Hey! Come. 152 00:13:03,206 --> 00:13:06,245 Well, that wasn't very long for the llamas, was it? 153 00:13:12,411 --> 00:13:13,981 Look at that. 154 00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:33,884 That's what I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. 155 00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:35,976 Do you see what she's doing? 156 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:47,130 - Sandrine, are you still there? - Yes, love. 157 00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:50,901 - Do you know where we are? - No, love. I've got a bag on my head. 158 00:13:50,981 --> 00:13:52,835 Me too. 159 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,894 You wouldn't know it, but I... 160 00:13:55,974 --> 00:13:58,281 ...I used to be famous. 161 00:13:58,521 --> 00:14:01,285 I was in a rock band. 162 00:14:02,892 --> 00:14:06,349 Hey, yeah! You're a natural, man. 163 00:14:08,298 --> 00:14:12,022 Yeah. And the one thing that people don't say to people... 164 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:15,983 ...in rock bands is no. 165 00:14:17,239 --> 00:14:20,664 Well, a long story short... 166 00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:24,557 ...I was diagnosed with a sex addiction. 167 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,161 I went to rehab. 168 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:31,775 I was ready to leave, and... 169 00:14:31,855 --> 00:14:34,912 ...but then I met Sheila, you know. 170 00:14:35,692 --> 00:14:38,505 The woman that is always mad with me. 171 00:14:39,495 --> 00:14:41,371 I'll tell you... 172 00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:44,207 ...she saved me. 173 00:14:44,687 --> 00:14:47,380 She pulled me back from the brink... 174 00:14:48,537 --> 00:14:50,961 ...and my old life. 175 00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:55,722 All that old stuff that I used to do, and... 176 00:14:58,447 --> 00:15:01,671 - Beer. - Why not? Yeah! 177 00:15:01,751 --> 00:15:03,973 While the cat is away. 178 00:15:04,053 --> 00:15:06,332 Give it to me. Yeah. 179 00:15:34,883 --> 00:15:36,963 Get her passport. 180 00:15:39,488 --> 00:15:41,861 You seem very nervous... 181 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,613 - ...Sandrine. - It's just... 182 00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:46,683 ...it's our first time being kidnapped. We don't want to get it wrong. 183 00:15:46,763 --> 00:15:49,291 - Do we, Charlie? - No. 184 00:15:49,371 --> 00:15:50,920 You're doing just fine. 185 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,124 I run a top quality double glazing company back in London... 186 00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:57,868 ...and if we could pay the ransom in windows, French windows... 187 00:15:57,948 --> 00:16:01,020 - ...we do French windows, too. - Charlie. 188 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,206 You like the British band Metal Assassin? 189 00:16:19,094 --> 00:16:21,374 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 190 00:16:27,102 --> 00:16:29,343 Turk Enry is a God. 191 00:16:39,949 --> 00:16:41,494 You... 192 00:16:43,952 --> 00:16:46,143 ...are Turk Enry's wife. 193 00:16:46,223 --> 00:16:48,482 Oh, shit. 194 00:17:05,908 --> 00:17:07,520 Yeah! 195 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:11,024 Sheila, Sheila. 196 00:17:12,547 --> 00:17:14,394 Things are looking up. 197 00:17:41,476 --> 00:17:43,914 When I was five years old, I had a pet cat. 198 00:17:45,214 --> 00:17:47,103 It was a Siamese cat. 199 00:17:47,183 --> 00:17:49,206 I loved him very much. 200 00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:51,907 His name was Nomo. 201 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,000 Like the baseball player? 202 00:17:54,923 --> 00:17:57,948 Exactly like the baseball player... 203 00:17:58,628 --> 00:18:00,147 ...except... 204 00:18:00,744 --> 00:18:04,790 ...my Nomo was run over by a car... 205 00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:08,225 ...dead. I took the body, sealed it in a plastic bag... 206 00:18:08,305 --> 00:18:12,195 ...put it in the family trashcan, and five long, hot summer days later... 207 00:18:12,275 --> 00:18:16,920 ...the stench coming out of that can was unbelievable. 208 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,142 That's what your town smells like to me. 209 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:25,148 - Do you know why I like snakes, Ramon? - No. I don't think anyone does. 210 00:18:25,228 --> 00:18:27,337 Because they're so clean. 211 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,261 And they can shed their skin. I wish I could shed my skin. 212 00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:34,518 I would just take it all right off right here. Snakes and I have that in common. 213 00:18:34,598 --> 00:18:37,220 - You know what else we have in common? - You can dislocate your jaw? 214 00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:40,991 We can only thrive in certain environments. We need to be in a safe place... 215 00:18:41,071 --> 00:18:44,827 ...in order to be the dominant killing machines that we're meant to be. 216 00:18:44,907 --> 00:18:49,199 What I'm trying to say is I need to get out of this pestilent colonial dump. 217 00:18:49,279 --> 00:18:51,357 I'm wasted. 218 00:18:56,852 --> 00:19:00,076 - Here it is. - What is it? 219 00:19:00,156 --> 00:19:03,479 A taser gun. They wouldn't authorize issue, so I just bought one myself. 220 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,049 - A toy one? - No, it's a real one. 221 00:19:06,129 --> 00:19:10,921 Look, "shock your friends with 20,000 volts. Be your own real-life dirty Barry." 222 00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:13,122 I'm sure that's just a misprint. 223 00:19:13,202 --> 00:19:16,359 Very impressive, sir. Chile is a safer place today. 224 00:19:16,439 --> 00:19:19,051 Open this. It's hurting my gums. 225 00:19:48,939 --> 00:19:51,795 This is the hotel manager. It's an emergency! 226 00:19:52,575 --> 00:19:54,153 What? 227 00:19:55,412 --> 00:19:58,091 Excuse me. May I come in? 228 00:19:59,682 --> 00:20:02,137 All right. Come in. 229 00:20:02,217 --> 00:20:06,476 I'm sorry, sir. I've been ringing you over and over again without an answer. 230 00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:08,744 You better be telling me that it's the end of the world... 231 00:20:08,824 --> 00:20:11,448 ...or that someone kidnapped my wife. 232 00:20:11,528 --> 00:20:15,451 - Someone has kidnapped your wife. - Exactly. You better be telling me that. 233 00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:18,077 Someone has kidnapped your wife. 234 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,525 They're asking for a million dollars. 235 00:20:24,505 --> 00:20:28,387 Oh, thank God. I thought they'd be asking for a lot of money. 236 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,474 John Hardigger's office, this is Marybeth. 237 00:20:38,554 --> 00:20:41,678 Hey, Marybeth. It's Turk. I need to speak to John. 238 00:20:41,758 --> 00:20:45,348 Turk! Well, John's in a meeting. 239 00:20:45,428 --> 00:20:47,824 Who is he with that is more important than me? 240 00:20:47,904 --> 00:20:50,153 Right now, Turk, everyone. 241 00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:54,424 Well, he's in a meeting with the lead singer of Masculine Harmony right now... 242 00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,893 ...trying to convince him to stay in the closet. 243 00:20:56,973 --> 00:20:59,736 We all want to be gay, Steve. All of us. 244 00:20:59,976 --> 00:21:03,766 No women telling us what to do, great fashion sense. 245 00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:08,441 You can seemingly grab women's breasts willy-nilly, and it's apparently fine. 246 00:21:08,521 --> 00:21:13,509 But I just don't see that working for you in the context of the music industry. 247 00:21:13,589 --> 00:21:16,079 Look, think about it. Which would you rather have... 248 00:21:16,159 --> 00:21:20,974 ...the freedom to love whoever you choose or loads of cash? 249 00:21:21,054 --> 00:21:23,090 - Can I help you? - Tell John... 250 00:21:23,170 --> 00:21:26,089 ...that Sheila has been kidnapped and they need a million dollars! 251 00:21:26,169 --> 00:21:29,859 Well, I don't need John. I wouldn't even wake him up for a million dollars. 252 00:21:29,939 --> 00:21:35,331 That's what I said! Listen, this has to stay between the three of us, okay? 253 00:21:35,411 --> 00:21:38,835 Or they say they'll kill her. I need the money, like, right now! 254 00:21:38,915 --> 00:21:41,980 - Is that understood? Can you handle it? - I'm on it. I'm on it. 255 00:21:42,060 --> 00:21:46,042 And tell John to fuck off for never answering my calls anymore. 256 00:21:46,122 --> 00:21:49,479 Okay, tell John you need a million dollars for his kidnapped wife... 257 00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:52,365 ...keep it a secret, and to fuck off. Got it. 258 00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:56,176 Bye. Bye. Yeah, yeah. That's it. 259 00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:02,625 - Have you heard of the gatos? - Doesn't that mean cats? 260 00:22:02,705 --> 00:22:06,823 It does. In Chile, that's what we call our pirates. 261 00:22:07,643 --> 00:22:11,600 They are former fisherman who were crowded out by big companies. 262 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,834 You see, in this country, a few wealthy people like you... 263 00:22:14,914 --> 00:22:17,588 ...they own and control everything... 264 00:22:18,241 --> 00:22:20,910 ...even the licenses of who can fish. 265 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,314 That is why this village that we're in now... 266 00:22:24,394 --> 00:22:29,363 ...once thriving with the life and laughter of families, now lies empty. 267 00:22:29,443 --> 00:22:33,720 Now the gatos rob the big boats to get their fish back. 268 00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:37,226 What I do have is my crew... 269 00:22:37,306 --> 00:22:39,563 ...and what I do not have is a ship. 270 00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:42,904 So you see, that's why you're here, unfortunately. 271 00:22:43,379 --> 00:22:48,120 I, too, like the gatos, had to make the choice between starving... 272 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,607 ...and this dangerous life you see. 273 00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:55,268 Listen, when I was modeling, I had to skip meals all the time, too. 274 00:23:02,997 --> 00:23:05,255 Okay, here's the deal. 275 00:23:05,345 --> 00:23:07,953 Some foreigners have been kidnapped in Cerro la Cam... 276 00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:09,639 Campana. 277 00:23:09,719 --> 00:23:12,195 But one of them is a celebrity. 278 00:23:12,775 --> 00:23:14,822 What? What? What? A movie star? Who is it? 279 00:23:14,902 --> 00:23:17,198 Okay, listen. We've gotta keep this on the QT. 280 00:23:17,278 --> 00:23:20,003 Not even the legal attach� finds out about it until I've checked it out. 281 00:23:20,083 --> 00:23:22,506 Everything is on QT. Got it. 282 00:23:24,286 --> 00:23:27,610 - Where is QT? - You don't know what QT means? 283 00:23:27,690 --> 00:23:30,527 I learn English at night school, sir. I almost did ceramics. 284 00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:34,284 - It means quiet. - Ceramics means pots. 285 00:23:34,364 --> 00:23:36,166 No, QT means quiet. 286 00:23:36,246 --> 00:23:38,905 I see. It's almost onomatopoeic? 287 00:23:40,035 --> 00:23:42,360 You know onomatopoeic, but you don't know QT? 288 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,473 - I did not set the curriculum. - Okay, listen... 289 00:23:44,553 --> 00:23:47,624 ...this could be a straightforward case of kidnapping, or... 290 00:23:47,704 --> 00:23:51,134 ...it could be something a little more sinister, like terrorist activity. 291 00:23:52,214 --> 00:23:54,870 Terrorists? Here? 292 00:23:54,950 --> 00:23:59,514 It would be to my advantage if it were. It would help me get a position in Washington. 293 00:24:01,856 --> 00:24:05,427 Do you have a shower here? I'd love to clean up. 294 00:24:19,274 --> 00:24:21,207 I will be just outside the door. 295 00:24:38,683 --> 00:24:40,906 How you getting on in there? 296 00:24:43,197 --> 00:24:45,527 I'm fine, thanks! 297 00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:09,542 Finished showering, I see. 298 00:25:13,695 --> 00:25:16,575 How long exactly have you guys been pirates? 299 00:25:17,833 --> 00:25:20,880 Almost nine hours. 300 00:25:32,707 --> 00:25:36,039 Are you the concierge? That's the lighter that doesn't work. 301 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,741 No, Mr. Turk, I am Federal Agent Harding. 302 00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:43,062 - Enry. - No, Harding. Ben Harding. 303 00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:45,087 - I am Enry. - I thought it was Turk. 304 00:25:45,167 --> 00:25:48,751 Turk Enry. Please, take a seat. 305 00:25:48,831 --> 00:25:52,088 Listen, Mr. Enry, American three-letter agencies... 306 00:25:52,168 --> 00:25:54,947 ...are already at work on your case. You should expect... 307 00:25:55,027 --> 00:25:57,436 Well, you know, my manager is taking care of everything. 308 00:25:57,516 --> 00:26:00,763 It won't take long, and I'm sorry we have wasted your time. 309 00:26:00,843 --> 00:26:02,932 Mr. Enry, there are some things we need to discuss. 310 00:26:03,012 --> 00:26:06,102 I'm concerned they're asking for so much money. 311 00:26:07,882 --> 00:26:11,773 One million. Do you think that's a lot of money? 312 00:26:11,853 --> 00:26:16,012 Well, you know, I once bought a giant "tor-toys" for 2 million. 313 00:26:16,092 --> 00:26:19,949 I thought I could ride up the street, you know, like the king of tortoises... 314 00:26:20,029 --> 00:26:22,986 ...but that thing barely bloody moved. 315 00:26:23,066 --> 00:26:25,529 You could use the back of it as a table. 316 00:26:25,609 --> 00:26:30,282 We believe this is the work of a terrorist cell. 317 00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:34,530 - Terrorists? - We heard some chatter... 318 00:26:35,210 --> 00:26:38,134 ...from the Aggregate Homeland/NSA... 319 00:26:38,214 --> 00:26:41,760 ...metadata harvesting machines up in outer space. 320 00:26:43,418 --> 00:26:45,741 Now, it's classified for your safety. 321 00:26:45,821 --> 00:26:48,578 Screw it. You know, it makes no difference. 322 00:26:48,658 --> 00:26:51,147 I'll pay the money, I get Sheila back... 323 00:26:51,227 --> 00:26:55,785 ...and maybe next time she'll think twice before flying us to exotic places. 324 00:26:55,865 --> 00:26:58,288 Maybe you don't understand me. 325 00:26:58,368 --> 00:27:01,758 The United States government does not negotiate with terrorists... 326 00:27:01,838 --> 00:27:04,414 ...and we cannot allow you to fund them. 327 00:27:04,494 --> 00:27:08,064 I'm not starting an Indiegogo for Isis. I'm getting my wife back. 328 00:27:08,144 --> 00:27:11,000 Imagine what those savages could do with a million dollars. 329 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,170 Yeah, they could buy half a giant tortoise. 330 00:27:14,650 --> 00:27:17,573 - What's a "tor-toys"? - It's a big animal with a shell. 331 00:27:17,653 --> 00:27:19,531 So it's a turtle. 332 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,656 Luis was a bus boy. 333 00:27:34,536 --> 00:27:36,715 Diego was a school teacher. 334 00:27:37,705 --> 00:27:39,992 We all wanted something more. 335 00:27:40,072 --> 00:27:42,365 When you're poor, people take from you... 336 00:27:42,845 --> 00:27:45,301 ...until you can't take it anymore... 337 00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:47,906 ...and then you take back. 338 00:27:48,718 --> 00:27:51,464 That is freedom. 339 00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:58,848 What's the matter? 340 00:27:59,728 --> 00:28:01,918 Diego is saying he's putting on too much weight... 341 00:28:02,098 --> 00:28:04,474 ...and can we please cut the carbs in the meal. 342 00:28:04,834 --> 00:28:08,005 He is one fat fucker! Get out! 343 00:28:16,846 --> 00:28:19,589 - Come on. - Turk! 344 00:28:19,669 --> 00:28:23,105 John says, and I quote, "you can tell that U.S. government tool... 345 00:28:23,185 --> 00:28:25,575 ...that if they think they can keep you from getting your wife back... 346 00:28:25,655 --> 00:28:29,926 ...they're gonna have every media outlet in the bloody universe climbing up their asses." 347 00:28:30,006 --> 00:28:32,715 Last thing we need to do is keep this on the QT. 348 00:28:32,795 --> 00:28:35,201 Did... did John really say that? 349 00:28:35,281 --> 00:28:37,820 He would have if he'd read my emails. 350 00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:41,991 Normal people do this every day. It's as simple as opening a beer. 351 00:28:42,071 --> 00:28:44,827 - Well, who is bringing the money? - The money's at the bank. 352 00:28:44,907 --> 00:28:48,064 - You just need to go and pick it up. - Me? 353 00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:52,708 Why do I have to do it? Can I... can I pay someone to do it? 354 00:28:52,788 --> 00:28:56,795 I don't, you know, do things. 355 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,410 You'll be fine. It's a trip to the bank. 356 00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:04,103 Here, this is how you throw a punch. 357 00:29:05,727 --> 00:29:08,651 - John should be here. - Pick up the money, wait for the kidnappers. 358 00:29:08,731 --> 00:29:12,488 - Nothing to worry about. - I am bloody terrified. 359 00:29:12,568 --> 00:29:15,624 It will all be over soon. I promise. 360 00:29:15,704 --> 00:29:19,351 And I'll keep trying to reach John, but you don't need him. 361 00:29:19,809 --> 00:29:21,320 Shit! 362 00:29:22,911 --> 00:29:24,733 What did she call me? 363 00:29:24,813 --> 00:29:26,325 Tool. 364 00:29:31,786 --> 00:29:33,675 Here's your taxi, sir. 365 00:29:34,055 --> 00:29:36,068 Wait, wait, wait. 366 00:30:10,558 --> 00:30:13,605 Pedicab. All right. 367 00:30:17,031 --> 00:30:20,122 Welcome to Banco Nacional, Mr. Enry. Everything is ready for you. 368 00:30:20,202 --> 00:30:23,081 Very good. Very good. Excellent. 369 00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:32,825 Please. 370 00:30:35,148 --> 00:30:36,962 That's it? 371 00:30:37,854 --> 00:30:41,811 It seems that a million dollars cash should look more... 372 00:30:41,891 --> 00:30:43,445 ...dramatic. 373 00:30:43,725 --> 00:30:49,174 Well, hey, everything else in the world is just disappointing, so why not this? 374 00:30:49,699 --> 00:30:51,920 Mr. Enry, you must count it. 375 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:57,256 The main reason I became a musician was because we only count to four. 376 00:30:58,407 --> 00:30:59,919 Okay. 377 00:31:01,010 --> 00:31:03,766 One, two, three, four. 378 00:31:03,846 --> 00:31:06,268 One, two, three, four. 379 00:31:06,348 --> 00:31:09,104 And one, two, and... 380 00:31:09,184 --> 00:31:10,762 ...perfect. 381 00:31:15,055 --> 00:31:18,113 Mr. Enry, I'm sorry. I can't let you take that money. 382 00:31:18,193 --> 00:31:22,918 What money? I am just a man going out for a walk with... 383 00:31:22,998 --> 00:31:25,321 - ...his suitcase. - This is a matter of national security. 384 00:31:25,401 --> 00:31:27,490 No, no, no, no, no. 385 00:31:27,570 --> 00:31:30,326 Mr. Enry, I could have you arrested for violating the patriot act. 386 00:31:30,406 --> 00:31:34,663 The press'll get wind of this, your wife will be in even more trouble. Now just stop it. 387 00:31:34,743 --> 00:31:37,400 Just relax. Take a quaalude. 388 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,936 You don't have to save the day. Somebody else will do it for you. 389 00:31:42,016 --> 00:31:46,703 - Well, yeah. Maybe you're right. Yeah. - Yes. That's the spirit. 390 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,280 I'm comin' for you, Turk Enry! 391 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,172 Oh, no! 392 00:32:12,614 --> 00:32:14,493 Move it! 393 00:32:26,614 --> 00:32:28,340 Out! 394 00:32:37,805 --> 00:32:41,430 What the fuck am I doing? Out! Get out! 395 00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:49,027 No! 396 00:32:51,053 --> 00:32:53,461 Out! Out of the way! 397 00:33:00,194 --> 00:33:01,917 Oh, my God. 398 00:33:02,027 --> 00:33:04,653 He actually did it. 399 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:07,613 This is so cool! 400 00:33:11,139 --> 00:33:13,696 Please, please, don't arrest me. 401 00:33:13,776 --> 00:33:17,290 Don't arrest me in front of... of me. 402 00:33:20,114 --> 00:33:23,273 Okay. I'm going to impound the money, you're gonna stay in your hotel... 403 00:33:23,353 --> 00:33:26,035 ...and consider yourself lucky I don't arrest you. 404 00:33:26,115 --> 00:33:30,646 Am I supposed to say thank you? Okay, then, thank you, you colossal prick! 405 00:33:30,726 --> 00:33:33,445 You know I need that money to rescue my wife! 406 00:33:33,525 --> 00:33:35,985 I can have you arrested for violating the espionage act... 407 00:33:36,065 --> 00:33:39,622 ...for aiding, abetting, and communicating with the enemy. 408 00:33:39,702 --> 00:33:44,313 Now, even your high-priced attorney can't help you when I ship you off to Gitmo. 409 00:33:50,578 --> 00:33:52,458 Good day, sir. 410 00:34:09,198 --> 00:34:12,065 It feels good to speak Spanish. 411 00:34:12,905 --> 00:34:17,226 50 minutes cardio, 50 minutes pilates, starting at 6:00 every morning. 412 00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:19,912 I can give you a detailed plan. 413 00:34:23,712 --> 00:34:26,167 Plus you need to show strength. 414 00:34:26,247 --> 00:34:28,049 You're a pirate captain. 415 00:34:28,129 --> 00:34:30,472 Yeah. Yeah, tell me... 416 00:34:30,552 --> 00:34:33,031 ...tell me more about that. 417 00:34:36,490 --> 00:34:39,972 Excuse me... I'll speak to my crew. 418 00:35:05,653 --> 00:35:07,198 Hi. 419 00:35:12,493 --> 00:35:14,540 A show of strength it is. 420 00:35:30,478 --> 00:35:32,324 What do I do now? 421 00:35:33,998 --> 00:35:38,247 They won't let me pay the ransom. I can't rescue Sheila. 422 00:35:39,570 --> 00:35:41,383 A beer? 423 00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:44,696 You are so right. 424 00:35:45,876 --> 00:35:49,301 I'll call my manager. I'm a freakin' rock star. 425 00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:51,403 And I don't have to get my hands dirty. 426 00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:55,074 I pay 10% on everything I earn... 427 00:35:55,154 --> 00:35:59,601 ...so someone else can get my wife out of hostage situations. 428 00:36:00,359 --> 00:36:03,682 Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I can't call John up... 429 00:36:03,762 --> 00:36:07,453 ...and Harding has definitely tapped my phone. 430 00:36:07,533 --> 00:36:10,345 That's how he knew I was at the bank. 431 00:36:12,637 --> 00:36:14,917 You are so sharp, boy. 432 00:36:22,546 --> 00:36:24,303 John Hardigger's office. 433 00:36:24,383 --> 00:36:27,539 Really? I can't even get John at 3 a.m.? 434 00:36:27,919 --> 00:36:32,945 All right, Marybeth... listen carefully, all right? 435 00:36:33,025 --> 00:36:34,913 My phone is tapped. 436 00:36:34,993 --> 00:36:37,803 Why? You're the most irrelevant person I know right now. 437 00:36:37,883 --> 00:36:40,032 Just write it down. 438 00:36:40,112 --> 00:36:42,119 I'm speaking in code. 439 00:36:42,834 --> 00:36:45,290 Slots and roulette. 440 00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:47,866 Slots and roulette. 441 00:36:47,946 --> 00:36:51,697 - Good at making friends. - Good at making friends. 442 00:36:51,777 --> 00:36:54,934 - John Mayer's sixth album... - Paradise Valley. 443 00:36:55,014 --> 00:36:57,769 - But in Spanish. - But in Spanish. 444 00:36:57,849 --> 00:37:00,295 My grandmother's homeland. 445 00:37:00,919 --> 00:37:04,966 - Will you remember what I said tonight? - What I said tonight. 446 00:37:05,256 --> 00:37:07,378 Yeah. Bye. 447 00:37:07,458 --> 00:37:09,038 Casino. 448 00:37:11,595 --> 00:37:12,821 Social. 449 00:37:14,532 --> 00:37:16,798 Valle Paraiso. 450 00:37:18,135 --> 00:37:20,592 Chile. Bob Dylan. 451 00:37:20,672 --> 00:37:23,919 The first line of "Tomorrow Night." 452 00:37:25,810 --> 00:37:30,235 Casino social, Valparaiso, Chile... 453 00:37:30,315 --> 00:37:31,827 ...tomorrow. 454 00:37:33,151 --> 00:37:34,673 Shit. 455 00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:37,426 I'm going to south America. 456 00:38:09,988 --> 00:38:13,612 Where are we going? We've been walking for bloody hours. 457 00:38:13,692 --> 00:38:17,773 And we're both wearing crocs. They are not a hiking shoe. 458 00:38:22,633 --> 00:38:27,016 Look, if you're gonna kill us, just do it, all right? Just do it. Just bloody do it! 459 00:38:29,340 --> 00:38:31,520 You don't have to be so enthusiastic, Sandy. 460 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,867 I mean, you don't have to do it. You really don't. 461 00:38:34,947 --> 00:38:37,836 - Buenos noches. - That means good night. 462 00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:39,790 - This is it, then. - Oh, God! 463 00:38:39,870 --> 00:38:42,164 I want you to know I've always been faithful to you. 464 00:38:42,244 --> 00:38:44,176 - I know, love. - Do you want to say it back to me? 465 00:38:44,256 --> 00:38:46,661 - What, love? - That you've been faithful. 466 00:38:46,741 --> 00:38:48,714 - In body or in mind, Charlie? - What? 467 00:38:48,794 --> 00:38:52,084 - They're two different things. - Well, just the body thing. 468 00:38:52,164 --> 00:38:54,209 Bloody hell, Charlie! 469 00:38:57,768 --> 00:38:59,314 Captain? 470 00:39:03,524 --> 00:39:05,377 Where have they bloody gone? 471 00:39:10,087 --> 00:39:13,705 God. This is the worst holiday we've been on. 472 00:39:13,785 --> 00:39:16,775 - What, worse than Scotland? - No, not worse than Scotland. 473 00:39:16,855 --> 00:39:19,361 That bloody awful breakfast bar. 474 00:39:24,861 --> 00:39:29,388 Where were you? You just leave me all tied up here with Se�or Carbs? 475 00:39:29,468 --> 00:39:31,556 All right, Sheila, Sheila, I understand you're upset... 476 00:39:31,636 --> 00:39:34,052 ...and this is not very comfortable for you, but... 477 00:39:34,132 --> 00:39:37,242 ...soon you can go back to being the pampered wife of a retired rock star. 478 00:39:37,322 --> 00:39:42,458 Excuse me? He is the pampered husband of a retired supermodel. 479 00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:59,385 Maybe you're right. 480 00:40:00,465 --> 00:40:02,745 I'm just a rock star's wife now. 481 00:40:12,510 --> 00:40:14,600 He's agreed to pay the ransom. 482 00:40:15,380 --> 00:40:17,702 Of course he's going to pay the ransom. 483 00:40:17,782 --> 00:40:19,661 We're married. 484 00:40:20,318 --> 00:40:22,173 And we only have each other now. 485 00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,743 Well, what about Metal Assassin? 486 00:40:24,823 --> 00:40:26,645 They split up. 487 00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:30,638 Actually, they split up with Turk since we got clean. 488 00:40:52,516 --> 00:40:56,798 Yeah, it turns out without the drugs and sex, they had nothing to talk about. 489 00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:02,180 I don't know if Turk has ever forgiven me for that. 490 00:41:02,260 --> 00:41:05,907 Well, he hasn't forgiven you for saving his life? 491 00:41:07,197 --> 00:41:10,623 I'm not sure he thinks his life's worth too much. 492 00:41:11,703 --> 00:41:13,926 He's been sulking for months. 493 00:41:15,106 --> 00:41:19,187 He wouldn't even go on this tour of Cayo Santiago with me. 494 00:41:20,912 --> 00:41:25,727 He shouldn't be paying my ransom. He should be here with me, goddamn it. 495 00:41:27,117 --> 00:41:29,932 My life is just so unfair. 496 00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:39,518 My parents were burned by narcos when I was three. 497 00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:44,923 As a child alone in the streets amidst the abuse, the drugs and beatings... 498 00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:48,427 ...I had one friend, my dog. 499 00:41:49,407 --> 00:41:51,853 One day I got so hungry, I... 500 00:41:52,976 --> 00:41:55,424 ...ate my dog. 501 00:42:02,152 --> 00:42:03,876 Okay, you win. 502 00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:12,974 Stop. Para, para, para, para, para. 503 00:42:14,398 --> 00:42:15,978 Beer? 504 00:43:03,481 --> 00:43:05,136 Turkey! 505 00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:09,097 - Hey. - I got here as fast as I could. 506 00:43:10,654 --> 00:43:12,211 So... 507 00:43:12,691 --> 00:43:14,679 ...where is John? 508 00:43:14,759 --> 00:43:17,849 To be honest, I don't know. 509 00:43:17,929 --> 00:43:21,652 I'm pretty low on the pecking order, but I hear that he's somewhere important. 510 00:43:21,732 --> 00:43:24,626 So who is he sending to help? 511 00:43:26,905 --> 00:43:28,793 I'm the cavalry. 512 00:43:29,473 --> 00:43:32,564 Sheila, baby, we are so screwed. 513 00:43:32,644 --> 00:43:36,568 "And though she be but little, she is fierce." I've made us an appointment. 514 00:43:37,308 --> 00:43:38,974 - Okay. Yeah. Good. - Yeah. 515 00:43:39,054 --> 00:43:41,506 - Who is coming for... - G'day! 516 00:43:41,986 --> 00:43:43,575 Here he is. 517 00:43:43,655 --> 00:43:46,207 Mr. Enry, Clive Muggleton. 518 00:43:46,557 --> 00:43:49,597 - I'm your case officer. - Jesus. 519 00:43:50,477 --> 00:43:53,936 Those are some white teeth, you know that? They're beautiful. 520 00:43:54,016 --> 00:43:56,854 It reminds me of high-grade cocaine. 521 00:43:57,370 --> 00:43:59,057 - Yeah. - Hi. You must be Miss Monahan. 522 00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:02,140 Well, we spoke on the phone, so thanks very much for coming down here. 523 00:44:02,220 --> 00:44:06,065 A pleasure to put a face to the voice and a body to that face. 524 00:44:07,245 --> 00:44:10,412 Sorry. I'm doing a course on misogyny to stop all that. That just popped out. 525 00:44:10,492 --> 00:44:14,005 - Won't happen again. - About my situation... 526 00:44:14,085 --> 00:44:16,575 Yes, here's the blurb. Layem international consultants. 527 00:44:16,655 --> 00:44:19,111 We're a full-service executive security agency. 528 00:44:19,191 --> 00:44:22,547 We do it all, from debugging offices to providing expertise in planning... 529 00:44:22,627 --> 00:44:26,818 ...and here's the part you'll like, executing ransom and retrieval operations. 530 00:44:26,898 --> 00:44:30,154 What if something happens to Sheila? 531 00:44:30,234 --> 00:44:34,616 Well, I'll find the bastards responsible, and I'll bring you their heads in a bag. 532 00:44:36,807 --> 00:44:40,832 I... I don't think I want the head in a bag. 533 00:44:42,112 --> 00:44:44,853 - Where would I put it? - The fridge. 534 00:44:45,483 --> 00:44:47,038 Yeah. 535 00:44:47,118 --> 00:44:50,569 I mean this completely as a compliment, but you have the perfect-sized knockers. 536 00:44:50,649 --> 00:44:53,981 I mean, they're just the size. Sorry, won't happen again. 537 00:44:55,292 --> 00:44:56,898 - Okay. - So... 538 00:44:56,978 --> 00:45:00,319 - ...she tells me you're in some sort of band? - He's in Metal Assassin. 539 00:45:00,399 --> 00:45:04,289 Well, I can't say I've heard of him, but I'm into Crowded House, INXS, AC/DC... 540 00:45:04,369 --> 00:45:06,257 ...both the Minogues, Dannii and Kylie. 541 00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:08,727 All right, enough chit-chat. I'm gonna do some recon. 542 00:45:08,807 --> 00:45:12,030 I'll meet you in the afternoon. Stay out of trouble, super boobs. 543 00:45:12,110 --> 00:45:15,156 I'm sorry. That one is a step over the line. 544 00:45:19,016 --> 00:45:21,463 Sir? Okay. 545 00:45:28,091 --> 00:45:31,917 Okay. I want you to consider a hypothetical situation. 546 00:45:31,997 --> 00:45:33,819 You're presented with two doors. 547 00:45:33,899 --> 00:45:37,556 Behind door number one, germ-infested pile of fecal matter. 548 00:45:37,636 --> 00:45:40,058 The closer you get to this mound of excrement... 549 00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:44,063 ...you see that it's teeming with prostitutes, thieves, and pickpockets. 550 00:45:44,143 --> 00:45:47,799 - Sounds like my front door. - Behind door number two... 551 00:45:47,879 --> 00:45:52,434 ...suitcase full of nice, clean U.S. cash dollars. 552 00:45:52,514 --> 00:45:56,130 - That sounds better. - Well, which door would you take? 553 00:45:59,588 --> 00:46:02,694 Okay. The money over shit. 554 00:46:02,774 --> 00:46:05,904 Okay, I have a way to make both of our dreams come true. 555 00:46:05,984 --> 00:46:09,188 You know what I would do if I had $1 million? 556 00:46:09,968 --> 00:46:13,918 I'd go get myself a little dosa cart. Sell dosas all day long. 557 00:46:14,938 --> 00:46:18,563 - I have no idea what that is. - Okay. 558 00:46:19,343 --> 00:46:23,224 I want you to follow Mr. Enry. I need to know his every move. 559 00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,429 Buenos d�as, se�ora. 560 00:46:33,123 --> 00:46:37,048 This is awesome. Awesome. Love it. I'm gonna buy it from you. 561 00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:39,942 I don't understand this arrangement at all. 562 00:47:15,364 --> 00:47:17,222 Muchas gracias. 563 00:47:17,762 --> 00:47:21,282 Well, all right, gorgeous. G'day. 564 00:47:22,006 --> 00:47:23,895 How are you enjoying Valparaiso? 565 00:47:23,975 --> 00:47:27,966 Yeah, it's like, San Fran meets South Beach, only mucho grosser. 566 00:47:28,046 --> 00:47:30,051 So it's a bit like Nottingham really. 567 00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:34,372 Look, I'm just gonna say it. You look unbelievable in those pants. 568 00:47:34,452 --> 00:47:37,698 Five-star ass. And there, that's me done. 569 00:47:38,422 --> 00:47:40,234 Gin and tonic? 570 00:47:41,109 --> 00:47:44,216 Right, back to business. The U.S. government. 571 00:47:44,296 --> 00:47:47,565 They've got their heads up their ass. The kidnappers aren't terrorists. 572 00:47:47,645 --> 00:47:49,407 - How do you know that? - I just know. 573 00:47:49,487 --> 00:47:52,391 I reckon that some blokes just got lucky. They went fishing for tourists. 574 00:47:52,471 --> 00:47:56,694 They nabbed the wife of a rock star. I reckon they're shittin' themselves. 575 00:47:56,774 --> 00:47:58,413 So what should we do? 576 00:47:58,493 --> 00:48:01,572 Pay the ransom, get your wife back. 577 00:48:01,979 --> 00:48:04,793 Get laid, not necessarily in that order. 578 00:48:04,873 --> 00:48:07,960 All right, we'll pick it up tomorrow. In the meantime, stay off the phones. 579 00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,265 We want them out of the loop. 580 00:48:12,455 --> 00:48:15,113 - Everything's gonna be all right. - Yeah, yeah. 581 00:48:15,193 --> 00:48:17,005 I'll see you later. 582 00:48:30,374 --> 00:48:33,798 I'm Agent Harding. I got five words for ya. 583 00:48:34,178 --> 00:48:36,358 Drop the Enry case. 584 00:48:40,784 --> 00:48:43,388 Drop the Turk Enry case. 585 00:48:43,888 --> 00:48:46,324 - What do you care? - I might have some friends in Washington... 586 00:48:46,404 --> 00:48:48,927 ...who would be interested in pulling some lucrative middle-east contracts... 587 00:48:49,007 --> 00:48:52,821 ...once they find out their guy in Chile screwed the pooch on a terrorism case. 588 00:48:52,901 --> 00:48:56,855 Screwed the pooch? You guys still saying that? 589 00:48:56,935 --> 00:48:58,779 Oh, yeah. 590 00:49:01,571 --> 00:49:03,195 Okay. 591 00:49:03,275 --> 00:49:05,764 Well, great. Let's go. 592 00:49:05,844 --> 00:49:08,366 No, no, no. Wait. Hold on, hold on. 593 00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:11,258 I thought you couldn't wait to get out of here? 594 00:49:11,850 --> 00:49:13,861 That guy is amazing. 595 00:49:15,685 --> 00:49:17,532 So passionate. 596 00:49:19,423 --> 00:49:22,898 And he's killing it, and no one seems to give a shit. 597 00:49:28,266 --> 00:49:30,011 He's the real deal. 598 00:49:31,902 --> 00:49:33,915 Look at him. 599 00:49:38,575 --> 00:49:40,682 He lives for music. 600 00:49:57,929 --> 00:50:02,210 Sorry, sorry. Let me just write this down while it's still in my head. 601 00:50:04,402 --> 00:50:08,025 I'm not gonna sugar the pill. I don't have great news. 602 00:50:08,605 --> 00:50:10,227 Sheila? 603 00:50:10,307 --> 00:50:13,898 No, the U.S. government. They put pressure on the company. 604 00:50:13,978 --> 00:50:15,663 They won't let me take the case. 605 00:50:15,743 --> 00:50:18,236 Is it because of that terrorist crap, right? 606 00:50:18,316 --> 00:50:20,738 Yep, yep. For what it's worth, it's bullshit. 607 00:50:20,818 --> 00:50:25,063 Am I supposed to let her rot while they decide what the hell they want to do? 608 00:50:25,143 --> 00:50:27,661 - They already have my million dollars! - Excellent. Excellent. 609 00:50:27,741 --> 00:50:30,992 Now stay angry, and I want you to listen to me, all right? Hit the table. 610 00:50:31,072 --> 00:50:32,734 Why? 611 00:50:32,814 --> 00:50:35,703 There's a guy over there. He's been following us. 612 00:50:35,883 --> 00:50:37,328 Act angry. 613 00:50:37,408 --> 00:50:41,145 But I can't act unless I'm high and I'm surrounded by dolphins. 614 00:50:41,225 --> 00:50:45,380 - I just need you to do it, okay? - I'm so angry, and... 615 00:50:45,460 --> 00:50:48,683 - ...and... and, shit! - Yeah, well, company... 616 00:50:48,763 --> 00:50:51,549 ...can't take the case, but I will. 617 00:50:51,629 --> 00:50:54,222 No, I'm... pissed off! 618 00:50:54,302 --> 00:50:56,525 My fee's half million dollars wired to this account. 619 00:50:56,605 --> 00:51:00,409 Go to hell, you marsupial-fellating dingo! 620 00:51:00,841 --> 00:51:01,883 I'm sorry. 621 00:51:01,963 --> 00:51:04,644 Don't know if you're jerking my crank or his, but the racial stuff, mate... 622 00:51:04,724 --> 00:51:07,822 - ...that's a bit... you know? - I was carried away... 623 00:51:07,902 --> 00:51:10,104 ...you didgeridoo douchebag! 624 00:51:10,184 --> 00:51:14,409 God, mate! I can't help ya! You used-up wannabe has-been! 625 00:51:14,489 --> 00:51:18,769 You didn't have to get personal, man, okay? It really hurts. 626 00:51:19,993 --> 00:51:23,197 My men stole it from a junkyard. 627 00:51:24,697 --> 00:51:27,866 - They should have left it there. - Watch out. 628 00:51:29,369 --> 00:51:32,814 You need to be careful when tacking. The boom is always on the move. 629 00:51:33,474 --> 00:51:37,164 - You can sail? - Yeah. I was raised in the fjords of Sweden. 630 00:51:37,244 --> 00:51:40,601 Oh, I realize I have much to learn. 631 00:51:40,681 --> 00:51:43,131 I should not be captain. You should be captain. 632 00:51:44,251 --> 00:51:47,942 - Okay, take the tiller. - Yes, of course. 633 00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:49,867 Which one's the tiller? 634 00:51:52,558 --> 00:51:55,413 - This is the tiller. I knew it. - Yeah. 635 00:51:55,493 --> 00:51:57,975 We'll make a pirate of you yet. 636 00:51:58,799 --> 00:52:01,702 Also, you're gonna need a hat. 637 00:52:01,782 --> 00:52:03,748 A pirate hat. 638 00:52:08,509 --> 00:52:12,367 Filthy, sickening mountain of vile putrefaction. 639 00:52:12,447 --> 00:52:14,902 You wanted to see me, sir? 640 00:52:14,982 --> 00:52:16,721 Yes, I did. 641 00:52:19,953 --> 00:52:22,510 There are currently two scenarios that could work in our favor. 642 00:52:22,590 --> 00:52:25,064 One, something terrible happens to Turk Enry. 643 00:52:25,144 --> 00:52:28,316 He can't get the money, he can't pay the ransom, they're stuck with a hostage. 644 00:52:28,396 --> 00:52:32,820 Scenario two... kidnappers get jumpy, they kill Sheila. 645 00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:37,161 Now, I can't control scenario two, but I can control scenario one. 646 00:52:37,241 --> 00:52:39,027 Oh, yes, yes. I understand. 647 00:52:39,107 --> 00:52:42,329 I'm suggesting that we take out Turk Enry... 648 00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:44,632 ...but I need a way to do it and stay safe. 649 00:52:44,712 --> 00:52:49,193 Like how I stay safe from your snake? I stay far away. 650 00:52:49,883 --> 00:52:51,696 You're a genius, Ramon. 651 00:52:53,119 --> 00:52:54,933 I don't know this word. 652 00:52:56,390 --> 00:53:00,514 That's a red-striped coral snake. It's more deadly than a cobra. 653 00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:03,651 One drop of its venom paralyzes every muscle in the body... 654 00:53:03,731 --> 00:53:05,986 ...making normal organ function impossible. 655 00:53:06,066 --> 00:53:09,079 This job has become very strange, sir. 656 00:53:11,339 --> 00:53:15,897 Hello. I would like to arrange a hot tub treatment... 657 00:53:15,977 --> 00:53:18,299 - Jacuzzi. Jacuzzi. - I got this. 658 00:53:18,379 --> 00:53:22,403 - ...for a very special friend of mine. - Amigo. Amigo, right? 659 00:53:23,483 --> 00:53:26,574 Yep. Yeah, just say it. 660 00:53:26,654 --> 00:53:30,678 S�. Exacto, un jacuzzi para Turk. 661 00:53:30,758 --> 00:53:33,948 Gracias. S�. 662 00:53:34,028 --> 00:53:35,984 - That's it? - Yeah. 663 00:53:36,864 --> 00:53:40,512 Here's your towel, sir. Anything you need, please call me. 664 00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,183 All right. 665 00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:54,392 - Beer? - Beer! Yes, that's my guy. 666 00:53:55,448 --> 00:53:57,261 Thank you. 667 00:54:15,534 --> 00:54:18,222 Hello, there. Yeah. 668 00:54:36,590 --> 00:54:38,102 No! 669 00:55:02,283 --> 00:55:05,386 Hey! What the fuck? 670 00:55:05,466 --> 00:55:06,998 Hey! 671 00:55:22,352 --> 00:55:24,374 - You are very lucky. - No. Yeah? 672 00:55:24,454 --> 00:55:25,759 He saved you. 673 00:55:25,839 --> 00:55:29,544 Plus the snake has died from what we can only assume is alcohol poisoning. 674 00:55:30,844 --> 00:55:32,356 Doc... 675 00:55:33,313 --> 00:55:35,603 ...will I be able to have sex again? 676 00:55:36,383 --> 00:55:39,207 No sex for at least three months. Are you married? 677 00:55:39,287 --> 00:55:43,678 - Yeah, but she has been held hostage. - Well, that made things easier, right? 678 00:55:43,758 --> 00:55:46,754 - Yeah. - Mr. Enry. This has... 679 00:55:48,294 --> 00:55:50,741 ...this just arrived for you. 680 00:55:52,365 --> 00:55:54,211 Thank you, Ramira. 681 00:55:57,504 --> 00:55:59,010 Mate. 682 00:55:59,590 --> 00:56:01,672 How you doin'? 683 00:56:01,942 --> 00:56:04,265 I can't imagine the pain you're in. 684 00:56:04,345 --> 00:56:06,501 Bitten right on the tip of your jizzpipe. 685 00:56:06,581 --> 00:56:10,324 His dick has been in thousands of dangerous places. He'll be fine. 686 00:56:10,404 --> 00:56:12,473 You have no idea how he's feeling, love. 687 00:56:12,553 --> 00:56:14,475 It's one of the many advantages of having a vagina. 688 00:56:14,555 --> 00:56:17,125 It's highly unlikely you're gonna get bitten on the end of it. 689 00:56:17,205 --> 00:56:19,220 Please stop talking about my poisoned cock. 690 00:56:19,300 --> 00:56:23,217 I had a mate sleeping rough in the bush, passed out one night, hammered... 691 00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:27,588 ...woke up the next morning to discover a dingo had eaten his ball. 692 00:56:28,068 --> 00:56:30,257 Took it clean off. 693 00:56:30,337 --> 00:56:31,856 Must got a taste for it, too. 694 00:56:31,936 --> 00:56:34,368 Came back the next day, took the other. 695 00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:36,365 Clive. 696 00:56:37,578 --> 00:56:40,867 Right, look, it's all pretty straightforward. Take the money to the coordinates... 697 00:56:40,947 --> 00:56:42,770 ...go alone, seems pretty adamant about that. 698 00:56:42,850 --> 00:56:46,240 We'd better listen to them, you know? They have already killed twice. 699 00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,976 The only danger is gonna be the drop-off, and I'll handle it. 700 00:56:49,056 --> 00:56:52,814 When we do get the money, the less time we spend with that in our possession, the better. 701 00:56:52,894 --> 00:56:56,550 All right, you know, it was hard enough getting the first million. 702 00:56:56,630 --> 00:56:59,186 Did you know they make you count it? 703 00:56:59,266 --> 00:57:03,480 Anyway, we do anything suspicious, and Harding's gonna be all over us. 704 00:57:11,010 --> 00:57:14,011 What's the matter? Snake got your penis? 705 00:57:16,217 --> 00:57:18,839 - Yeah. - Just kidding. 706 00:57:18,919 --> 00:57:21,165 I think I'm having an idea. 707 00:57:21,909 --> 00:57:23,338 Yeah. 708 00:57:24,524 --> 00:57:27,081 - This is how we are gonna get the money. - One million dollars... 709 00:57:27,161 --> 00:57:30,518 First of all... I use my tapped cell phone... 710 00:57:30,598 --> 00:57:35,389 ...to arrange the money to be delivered to the same bank as last time. 711 00:57:35,469 --> 00:57:38,927 Yeah, so then I make a call on your behalf from a pay phone... 712 00:57:39,007 --> 00:57:41,596 ...and arrange for the money to be sent to a different bank. 713 00:57:41,676 --> 00:57:44,432 Exactly! How tall are you, Clive? 714 00:57:44,512 --> 00:57:46,560 Standard specification sex machine, mate. 715 00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,469 Me, too. 716 00:57:48,549 --> 00:57:52,123 Now, I'm gonna wear this when I go and collect the money. 717 00:57:52,203 --> 00:57:54,576 - That's a bloody beautiful shirt, mate. - Glad you like it. 718 00:57:54,656 --> 00:57:57,411 Agent Harding will be on our tail. 719 00:57:57,491 --> 00:57:59,313 Follow that car! 720 00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:03,217 So make sure, Turk, you arrive at the bank ten minutes early... 721 00:58:03,297 --> 00:58:06,654 ...giving you time to go into the bar next door to the bank. 722 00:58:06,934 --> 00:58:10,781 And you bring... this stuff with you. 723 00:58:11,372 --> 00:58:13,150 As per your list. 724 00:58:16,109 --> 00:58:18,933 This salt shaker is me. 725 00:58:19,013 --> 00:58:22,616 These two butter cups are you and Clive. 726 00:58:22,696 --> 00:58:25,573 And this peanut is Ben Harding. 727 00:58:26,053 --> 00:58:29,677 - What's the bottle of beer? - That's my bottle of beer. 728 00:58:29,757 --> 00:58:32,002 The plan there is I drink it. 729 00:58:33,793 --> 00:58:35,672 It's good. 730 00:58:41,968 --> 00:58:43,998 So Agent Harding is at the bank... 731 00:58:44,078 --> 00:58:46,194 And he needs to be kept there as long as possible. 732 00:58:46,274 --> 00:58:49,697 Now, since you do a lot of undercover spy stuff... 733 00:58:49,777 --> 00:58:53,080 ...I am assuming you have a collection of various disguises. 734 00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:57,538 Disguises, got the lot. What do you want? Beards or gums? 735 00:58:57,618 --> 00:59:00,470 Ball caps? Spectacles? Testicles? 736 00:59:00,550 --> 00:59:03,376 You can disguise a man's a testicles? 737 00:59:03,456 --> 00:59:06,337 Sure. A man's own testicles can be a real giveaway. 738 00:59:06,417 --> 00:59:10,100 - Really? - Sorry, where do you buy fake testicles? 739 00:59:10,180 --> 00:59:11,758 Amazon. 740 00:59:21,708 --> 00:59:24,485 G'day, Agent Harding. Where you goin'? 741 00:59:25,245 --> 00:59:28,102 - Where is he? - Is what he'll probably say. 742 00:59:28,182 --> 00:59:31,428 I don't know who you're talkin' about, sir! 743 00:59:32,386 --> 00:59:35,299 Marybeth, keep an eye on Harding. 744 00:59:35,379 --> 00:59:37,345 And let me know when he's heading my way. 745 00:59:37,425 --> 00:59:41,882 He'll be there in eight minutes. Repeat, eight minutes. 746 00:59:41,962 --> 00:59:45,353 Over and out. Bye. 747 00:59:45,733 --> 00:59:48,122 There's only one other bank that can handle that kind of cash. 748 00:59:48,202 --> 00:59:50,558 It's not gonna take them long to work out where you are. 749 00:59:50,638 --> 00:59:53,193 Right on. I just have to be quick. 750 00:59:53,273 --> 00:59:55,134 All right, guys. 751 00:59:55,976 --> 00:59:58,799 $1 million, right here. 752 00:59:59,179 --> 01:00:01,001 And back here. 753 01:00:01,081 --> 01:00:05,005 Rock 'n roll, man! Very good. That was awesome. Awesome. 754 01:00:05,725 --> 01:00:07,601 Damn it! 755 01:00:21,834 --> 01:00:24,812 And that's how we steal a million dollars. 756 01:00:24,892 --> 01:00:28,045 But we're not stealing it. It's already yours. 757 01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:32,132 Fine! You know, that's how we make a withdrawal from a bank. 758 01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:33,933 It doesn't sound as good. 759 01:00:34,013 --> 01:00:38,386 Then I do the drop, you get your wife back, we're all set. Simple. 760 01:00:38,466 --> 01:00:39,940 I know exactly where he's going. 761 01:00:40,020 --> 01:00:43,411 There's no way this idiot had more than one new idea in a week. 762 01:00:43,491 --> 01:00:47,086 To the El Amor bar and brothel. There's an extra 20 U.S. cash dollars... 763 01:00:47,166 --> 01:00:49,010 ...if you know a shortcut. 764 01:00:53,232 --> 01:00:55,912 Hey, dingo! Come on! 765 01:01:04,110 --> 01:01:05,624 Yeah! 766 01:01:15,923 --> 01:01:19,548 - Honey, honey, honey. - One more time. I will give you for free. 767 01:01:19,628 --> 01:01:21,482 - Just one more time. Por favor. - I can't. 768 01:01:21,562 --> 01:01:24,321 Five's my limit. I've got no more fluid left in me. 769 01:01:24,401 --> 01:01:27,602 And I might have got... myself a little bit off track! 770 01:01:42,014 --> 01:01:45,105 Hey, have you seen a little girl? Solid eight out of ten? She was... 771 01:01:45,185 --> 01:01:47,407 - Clive Muggleton. - Shit. 772 01:01:47,487 --> 01:01:51,168 I thought I told you to get off of this case. 773 01:02:44,744 --> 01:02:46,590 Good morning. 774 01:02:57,590 --> 01:02:59,462 I've got disease! 775 01:03:20,479 --> 01:03:23,527 American government! Get out of my way! 776 01:03:39,333 --> 01:03:41,912 What are you doing? You're a federal agent! 777 01:03:51,244 --> 01:03:52,790 Fuck! 778 01:03:54,381 --> 01:03:57,187 What's wrong? Allergic to shellfish? 779 01:03:57,517 --> 01:04:00,397 As a matter of fact, I am. 780 01:04:01,022 --> 01:04:04,001 It's tight. You bastard! 781 01:04:31,451 --> 01:04:34,731 How about some shrimp on the Barbie? 782 01:04:35,255 --> 01:04:38,512 How's that taste? How about some octopus? 783 01:04:38,592 --> 01:04:42,238 You got that on the Great Barrier Reef? 784 01:05:02,582 --> 01:05:04,461 Oh, my God! 785 01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:11,968 It's time. 786 01:05:12,526 --> 01:05:13,981 - You ready? - Yeah. 787 01:05:14,061 --> 01:05:15,905 Let's go. 788 01:05:35,181 --> 01:05:37,195 Are you okay, Marybeth? 789 01:05:39,753 --> 01:05:41,608 Deep breaths, Marybeth. 790 01:05:42,688 --> 01:05:44,534 Deep breaths. 791 01:05:45,825 --> 01:05:48,615 I mean, I thought he was a douchebag... 792 01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:53,500 ...but he was the kind of douchebag that always said nice things about my bum. 793 01:05:53,580 --> 01:05:56,023 That's a hell of a eulogy. 794 01:05:56,803 --> 01:05:58,825 What do we do now? 795 01:05:58,905 --> 01:06:02,161 Well, I guess I'll make the drop. 796 01:06:02,241 --> 01:06:03,480 I'll have to do it. 797 01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:06,434 But you... but you'd need to take a boat... 798 01:06:06,514 --> 01:06:10,237 - ...and find the right location. - Well, I'll be fine. 799 01:06:10,317 --> 01:06:12,129 Let's see where I'm going. 800 01:06:13,419 --> 01:06:18,578 All right. All I have to do is just take a boat and go from this dot thing... 801 01:06:18,658 --> 01:06:24,139 ...through this tunnel thing and meet this thing that looks like a... 802 01:06:24,631 --> 01:06:26,209 ...dildo. 803 01:06:32,870 --> 01:06:35,452 Thanks for the suitcase. It was... 804 01:06:38,110 --> 01:06:40,768 Do you think I can do this? 805 01:06:40,848 --> 01:06:42,470 - I know you can, Turk. - Yeah? 806 01:06:42,550 --> 01:06:44,965 Yeah. Go get your wife. 807 01:06:45,045 --> 01:06:46,503 Yeah. 808 01:06:46,583 --> 01:06:48,231 All right. 809 01:06:51,924 --> 01:06:55,772 Hey, kid. Are you all right? 810 01:06:58,163 --> 01:07:01,012 - Beer. - No. 811 01:07:01,092 --> 01:07:02,979 It's not the time. 812 01:07:06,505 --> 01:07:08,728 Maybe just one for the road. 813 01:07:10,308 --> 01:07:12,726 Make it two. Yep. 814 01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:14,868 Very good. 815 01:07:33,466 --> 01:07:35,509 No harm will come to you... 816 01:07:35,589 --> 01:07:37,882 ...as long as your husband cooperates. 817 01:07:39,706 --> 01:07:42,329 My life is in the hands of my husband? 818 01:07:42,909 --> 01:07:45,989 - Yes. - It was nice knowing you. 819 01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:53,440 He once wrote a self-help manual entitled Bark Yourself Happy. 820 01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:56,310 It was based on the idea that, and I quote... 821 01:07:56,390 --> 01:07:58,371 "...Dogs don't get depressed." 822 01:07:58,451 --> 01:08:01,191 Surely your husband is a capable man. 823 01:08:04,830 --> 01:08:06,163 Shit! 824 01:08:12,939 --> 01:08:14,495 Clive! 825 01:08:14,675 --> 01:08:16,429 Clive! 826 01:08:16,509 --> 01:08:19,049 Calm down, love. No time for a stiffy. 827 01:08:19,129 --> 01:08:21,764 - Clive, you were... you were dead! - Yeah. 828 01:08:21,844 --> 01:08:25,283 - What's wrong with your neck? - Harding tried to break it. 829 01:08:29,063 --> 01:08:30,567 I faked it. 830 01:08:32,192 --> 01:08:35,505 - And your eyes? - Forced entry by shrimp. 831 01:08:36,163 --> 01:08:39,152 Hold on. So when I... when I found you, you were alive? 832 01:08:39,232 --> 01:08:43,022 Yeah. Sorry, love. You were leaning right over me. I could see straight down your top. 833 01:08:43,102 --> 01:08:44,680 Couldn't bear to end it. 834 01:08:45,809 --> 01:08:47,928 Crikey. Yeah, where's Turk? 835 01:08:48,028 --> 01:08:49,701 Oh, he's there. 836 01:08:52,479 --> 01:08:54,390 Oh, he's out of his depth. 837 01:08:54,470 --> 01:08:56,726 Physically and metaphorically. 838 01:08:59,051 --> 01:09:03,210 Well, what are you gonna do? Swim? You can't turn your head. 839 01:09:03,290 --> 01:09:06,173 This one's for love. Also money. 840 01:09:06,253 --> 01:09:08,939 All right. I'll need a pursuit vehicle. 841 01:09:10,564 --> 01:09:11,885 Coming with you. 842 01:09:11,965 --> 01:09:14,955 Tactical combat suit, medium, check. 843 01:09:15,035 --> 01:09:18,125 Gun, check. Camouflage paint, check. 844 01:09:18,205 --> 01:09:22,722 GPS, check. Grenade, check. Power bar, check. 845 01:09:23,142 --> 01:09:24,654 Okay. 846 01:09:32,952 --> 01:09:36,432 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 847 01:09:53,371 --> 01:09:54,801 There you are. 848 01:10:10,322 --> 01:10:12,135 All right. 849 01:10:13,342 --> 01:10:14,905 Okay. 850 01:10:18,264 --> 01:10:21,712 Sheila! I'm coming for you! 851 01:10:23,835 --> 01:10:27,624 - Can you see him? - All I can see is top left sky. 852 01:10:51,797 --> 01:10:55,078 The dildo. I mean, the statue. 853 01:11:16,041 --> 01:11:18,405 We have got a slight problem. 854 01:11:21,126 --> 01:11:22,972 Goddamn it. 855 01:11:27,299 --> 01:11:29,913 I am Turk Enry! 856 01:11:30,803 --> 01:11:36,163 I brought the money! It's in this horrible suitcase! 857 01:11:36,243 --> 01:11:38,722 This suitcase doesn't belong to me. 858 01:11:44,516 --> 01:11:47,196 Hello, kidnappers! 859 01:11:48,621 --> 01:11:50,200 Hello? 860 01:11:55,361 --> 01:11:56,616 You? 861 01:11:56,696 --> 01:12:00,860 You couldn't do what you were told, could ya? All you had to do was nothing... 862 01:12:00,940 --> 01:12:03,356 ...and you couldn't even do that. 863 01:12:03,766 --> 01:12:06,850 You can't kill me. I am English. 864 01:12:07,473 --> 01:12:11,965 Part Spanish and technically Chilean, and I live in Malibu. 865 01:12:12,045 --> 01:12:13,500 It's all very confusing, man. 866 01:12:13,580 --> 01:12:15,962 Why didn't you just give me the million dollars and walk away? 867 01:12:16,042 --> 01:12:19,930 Because it's not about the money! It's about my wife! 868 01:12:22,155 --> 01:12:23,833 God! 869 01:12:25,223 --> 01:12:27,636 Shit, shit! Shit! 870 01:12:28,227 --> 01:12:31,084 You don't deserve any of this stuff that you got. 871 01:12:31,164 --> 01:12:33,226 You were in a has-been rock band. 872 01:12:33,306 --> 01:12:37,580 You play the bass. It's only got four strings. 873 01:12:44,542 --> 01:12:46,799 God! My head! 874 01:12:46,879 --> 01:12:48,691 Have a beer! 875 01:12:56,422 --> 01:12:59,278 The bass is the heartbeat of a band. 876 01:12:59,358 --> 01:13:02,314 - Stay there! - G'day, Turk. 877 01:13:02,404 --> 01:13:05,518 - You're dead, man! You're dead! - You shouldn't be dealing with this. 878 01:13:05,598 --> 01:13:08,024 - I'll take it from here. - Shit! Just hide! 879 01:13:08,104 --> 01:13:10,487 Go! Both of you! Out! 880 01:13:15,107 --> 01:13:18,698 I hope they didn't see us. Have you got an eye on Turk? 881 01:13:18,778 --> 01:13:21,067 Well, that seems to be one benefit of this neck situation. 882 01:13:21,147 --> 01:13:23,393 I can see perfectly around corners. 883 01:13:26,918 --> 01:13:28,793 Good afternoon. 884 01:13:29,808 --> 01:13:31,266 Hi. 885 01:13:32,826 --> 01:13:36,183 Hey, you were supposed to come alone, man! 886 01:13:36,263 --> 01:13:41,678 I was trying to, but other than these two, I am completely alone. 887 01:13:43,356 --> 01:13:45,302 And him. I forgot about him. 888 01:13:45,382 --> 01:13:48,848 And my M204 A5 hand grenade. 889 01:14:04,624 --> 01:14:06,502 Damn it! 890 01:14:09,728 --> 01:14:11,701 - Shit! - Get down! 891 01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:24,520 Oh, yeah, the neck. 892 01:14:25,645 --> 01:14:27,856 Yeah. That's a bit grubby. 893 01:14:30,716 --> 01:14:33,730 Goodbye, Ben Harding. I'm sorry. 894 01:14:35,387 --> 01:14:39,562 - Mr. Enry, may I ask you a question? - Sure. 895 01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:41,982 Do you think Metal Assassin will get back together? 896 01:14:42,062 --> 01:14:46,085 I don't think so. Besides, I have other projects. 897 01:14:46,165 --> 01:14:49,779 No, wait, wait, wait. So you're going solo? 898 01:14:50,602 --> 01:14:52,662 I am trying to, yeah, yeah, yeah. 899 01:14:52,742 --> 01:14:56,363 You're a true artist. You will find your new voice. 900 01:14:56,443 --> 01:15:00,266 Just listen to what is in your heart. 901 01:15:00,346 --> 01:15:03,559 - It will tell you. - Yeah. 902 01:15:11,389 --> 01:15:13,202 I miss my wife. 903 01:15:16,962 --> 01:15:20,020 Probably I miss her more than she misses me. 904 01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:24,521 She's the most important thing in my life. 905 01:15:24,601 --> 01:15:26,527 She's the glue that... 906 01:15:26,607 --> 01:15:30,666 ...puts together all the pieces of the person that is... 907 01:15:31,164 --> 01:15:32,693 ...me. 908 01:15:33,245 --> 01:15:35,565 And I need to tell her that. 909 01:15:35,645 --> 01:15:39,806 So that's why you... you have to give her back to me. 910 01:15:40,586 --> 01:15:42,842 I love Sheila. 911 01:15:42,922 --> 01:15:45,000 And Sheila loves you. 912 01:15:50,329 --> 01:15:52,175 Oh, God. 913 01:15:55,233 --> 01:15:57,390 Pay no heed to my erection. 914 01:15:57,470 --> 01:16:00,683 I am a sex addict, but not homosexual. 915 01:16:02,141 --> 01:16:04,353 Let's just... 916 01:16:05,644 --> 01:16:07,156 ...go. 917 01:16:25,647 --> 01:16:27,176 Baby. 918 01:16:32,307 --> 01:16:34,117 Are you okay? 919 01:16:34,807 --> 01:16:36,686 I'm fine. 920 01:16:37,976 --> 01:16:40,633 You know I may be an idiot, but... 921 01:16:41,413 --> 01:16:44,838 ...I know that fine is never fine. 922 01:16:45,818 --> 01:16:48,064 Why should I go with you? 923 01:16:48,854 --> 01:16:51,991 Well, I... I don't know. 924 01:16:52,071 --> 01:16:55,581 - Because I love you. - Love me? 925 01:16:55,662 --> 01:16:57,451 - Love me? - Yes. 926 01:16:57,531 --> 01:17:00,400 You can barely stand to be around me since Metal Assassin broke up. 927 01:17:00,480 --> 01:17:02,956 - What? No. - You don't need me. 928 01:17:03,036 --> 01:17:05,458 You think I don't need you? 929 01:17:05,538 --> 01:17:07,427 Are you kidding? 930 01:17:08,407 --> 01:17:11,531 I can't do anything without you. I'm a mess. 931 01:17:11,611 --> 01:17:16,502 All I've done is to think about what a total asshole I have been. 932 01:17:16,582 --> 01:17:18,508 I wrote a song! 933 01:17:21,620 --> 01:17:24,377 You haven't been able to write since the band broke up. 934 01:17:24,457 --> 01:17:26,947 I wrote a song for you. 935 01:17:28,327 --> 01:17:30,156 Prove it. 936 01:17:30,236 --> 01:17:33,887 - Like... like, right here? Now in... - Yes, right here! Right here! 937 01:17:33,967 --> 01:17:38,391 - If you can't make a single gesture, then I... - Goddamn it! Okay. I'll prove it. 938 01:17:38,471 --> 01:17:40,166 All right? 939 01:17:40,246 --> 01:17:41,743 Muchacho, I need... 940 01:17:51,583 --> 01:17:53,196 Ridiculous. 941 01:17:54,886 --> 01:17:56,292 All right. 942 01:19:07,292 --> 01:19:10,950 It's just the chorus, but it's a start. 943 01:19:12,130 --> 01:19:14,543 - It's a start. - Yeah. 944 01:19:16,134 --> 01:19:19,960 I feel like we are having a moment here... 945 01:19:20,740 --> 01:19:24,387 ...but I have some news about my penis. 946 01:19:29,669 --> 01:19:33,973 I've had $2.5 million vacations with fatalities before... 947 01:19:34,053 --> 01:19:38,031 ...but goddamn, this one was interesting, you know? Hey, Ramira. 948 01:19:38,111 --> 01:19:43,453 We are gonna need... a couple of in-room massages and tons of beer. 949 01:19:44,396 --> 01:19:46,352 Un momento. Let me check her schedule. 950 01:19:46,432 --> 01:19:48,988 All I need is a hot shower with no one watching. 951 01:19:49,068 --> 01:19:52,481 All I need is you, baby. 952 01:19:53,306 --> 01:19:57,531 And oysters, caviar, and champagne. Yeah. 953 01:19:57,611 --> 01:20:00,634 I don't need money. I don't need fame. I don't need John. 954 01:20:00,714 --> 01:20:03,136 I'm sorry. We can't make any more charges to your room. 955 01:20:03,216 --> 01:20:04,994 Your accounts have been frozen. 956 01:20:05,074 --> 01:20:09,099 Marybeth, can you find John for me, please? 957 01:20:23,068 --> 01:20:25,669 Bad news. John is gone. 958 01:20:25,749 --> 01:20:29,562 He's drained four of his clients' bank accounts and disappeared. 959 01:20:30,442 --> 01:20:31,698 Shit. 960 01:20:31,778 --> 01:20:34,494 What, does that mean I don't get paid? 961 01:20:35,514 --> 01:20:37,732 - No. - Crap. 962 01:20:37,812 --> 01:20:41,130 I just... I just want to go home. 963 01:20:41,210 --> 01:20:45,501 Hold on, Turk. Who exactly has been paying your mortgage? 964 01:20:47,059 --> 01:20:48,608 Sheila! 965 01:21:12,349 --> 01:21:14,807 - Just use your phone, baby. - No way. 966 01:21:14,887 --> 01:21:17,810 I want this to be like my old touring days. 967 01:21:17,890 --> 01:21:20,887 Besides, the data is just too expensive. 968 01:21:20,967 --> 01:21:22,415 Okay. 969 01:21:22,495 --> 01:21:26,176 From now on, I'm going to be your CGI. 970 01:21:27,066 --> 01:21:30,322 It's not CGI. It's GPS. 971 01:21:30,402 --> 01:21:32,415 Yeah. Well, that too. 972 01:21:37,776 --> 01:21:41,107 And now something from my new album! 973 01:21:41,187 --> 01:21:45,789 I wrote this song in a very hard time of my life. 974 01:21:52,891 --> 01:21:55,081 I was alone and scared... 975 01:21:55,161 --> 01:21:58,475 ...and then I lost the most important thing in my life... 976 01:22:00,432 --> 01:22:02,946 ...the use of my penis. 977 01:23:23,449 --> 01:23:26,262 And so it begins. 978 01:23:29,386 --> 01:23:30,900 Thanks. 979 01:23:39,497 --> 01:23:41,088 No. 980 01:23:42,168 --> 01:23:44,981 No one is gonna find me here. 981 01:23:48,239 --> 01:23:51,287 Well, this is very nice. 982 01:24:05,790 --> 01:24:09,615 Careful when tacking. The boom is always on the move. 983 01:24:09,695 --> 01:24:11,507 S�, captain. 984 01:26:45,776 --> 01:26:47,362 Baby. 985 01:26:49,587 --> 01:26:53,045 Have I ever been to India? 986 01:26:53,125 --> 01:26:56,769 - No. Not India. No. - No? 987 01:26:56,849 --> 01:27:00,910 I just had a Bollywood experience. 988 01:27:04,201 --> 01:27:06,048 We can go now. 989 01:27:10,141 --> 01:27:11,964 Sheila is right. 990 01:27:12,744 --> 01:27:16,359 These dolphins should not be caged. 991 01:27:17,882 --> 01:27:19,548 Dolphins! 992 01:27:19,628 --> 01:27:22,074 Come, dolphins. Come. 993 01:27:24,254 --> 01:27:27,179 Swim free, sweet dolphins. 994 01:27:27,259 --> 01:27:31,551 Such beautiful and gentle creatures. 995 01:27:32,231 --> 01:27:34,309 Peace and love. 996 01:27:37,969 --> 01:27:40,015 Time for a power bar. 997 01:27:54,086 --> 01:27:56,242 Back off! Please, God! 998 01:27:56,322 --> 01:27:59,748 Stop! Mine! This is my power bar! 999 01:28:00,959 --> 01:28:03,449 You fuckin'... go, get off! 1000 01:28:04,629 --> 01:28:06,875 I will mace you! 1001 01:28:23,047 --> 01:28:25,727 Oh, God! It's got doll's eyes! 1002 01:29:16,568 --> 01:29:20,816 Yeah, that's about it. It's a beautiful place? 1003 01:29:21,674 --> 01:29:23,996 Oh, and I don't know if you read up on this place... 1004 01:29:24,076 --> 01:29:26,899 ...but it used to belong to some kind of rock star. 1005 01:29:26,979 --> 01:29:29,135 You know what? I love it. 1006 01:29:29,215 --> 01:29:32,271 - Congratulations, Mr... - My name is Ramon. 1007 01:29:32,351 --> 01:29:34,372 And what did you say you do? 1008 01:29:34,452 --> 01:29:38,310 I have a dosa cart. Well, I used to have a dosa cart. 1009 01:29:38,390 --> 01:29:41,791 Now I have 3,000 dosa carts. 1010 01:29:42,794 --> 01:29:45,905 Yep. Things are looking up. 1011 01:29:50,703 --> 01:29:53,659 Well, if it isn't my favorite chica caliente! 1012 01:29:53,739 --> 01:29:57,463 I'm going to assume that's offensive. Listen, Clive, what's the news on John? 1013 01:29:57,543 --> 01:29:59,231 - He got away. - He got away? 1014 01:29:59,311 --> 01:30:02,701 We used the wrong kind of snake. Turns out all it did was make his dingle grow. 1015 01:30:02,781 --> 01:30:06,272 He should send me a thank you card. Anyhow, John's on the move. 1016 01:30:06,352 --> 01:30:08,807 - The sparrow is in the sky. - What? 1017 01:30:08,887 --> 01:30:10,743 He's hired a private jet. He's outta here. 1018 01:30:10,823 --> 01:30:13,012 - So we've lost him? - Maybe not. 1019 01:30:13,092 --> 01:30:18,283 Turns out masculine Harmony have a large and extremely bad-tempered second cousin. 1020 01:30:18,363 --> 01:30:20,419 - Nice fella. Russian. - So? 1021 01:30:20,499 --> 01:30:22,857 - You know what the second cousin does? - Surprise me. 1022 01:30:22,937 --> 01:30:25,013 He charters out a private jet. 1023 01:30:37,081 --> 01:30:39,302 Shouldn't you be flying the plane? 1024 01:30:40,785 --> 01:30:42,208 - I won't fight you. - Why not? 1025 01:30:42,288 --> 01:30:44,386 Because I'm no good at fighting. 1026 01:31:05,342 --> 01:31:07,189 English man. 1027 01:31:07,578 --> 01:31:09,091 Hey! 1028 01:31:31,176 --> 01:31:33,859 When it comes to umbrellas, my friend... 1029 01:31:33,939 --> 01:31:36,518 ...never fuck with an Englishman. 81703

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