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1
00:01:26,103 --> 00:01:29,227
And now it's time for "The Gig of Life."
2
00:01:29,307 --> 00:01:32,003
What's hot, what's not in the world of rock.
3
00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:35,686
Remember Metal Assassin
led by Chilean-born Turk Enry?
4
00:01:35,766 --> 00:01:39,224
At the time of their tender breakout hit
"Teenage Ass Patrol"...
5
00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:48,552
...they seemed unstoppable,
until they stopped.
6
00:01:48,632 --> 00:01:52,249
The band kicked Turk out
when he met his very own Yoko Ono.
7
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:55,653
Her name was Sheila, and Turk
began a long fade to black...
8
00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:59,053
...whilst his ex-bandmatesreleased Neptune of Cock.
9
00:01:59,603 --> 00:02:01,459
It sold in the millions.
10
00:02:01,539 --> 00:02:05,596
Turk, by contrast, was enjoying
external tours off his body.
11
00:02:05,676 --> 00:02:09,319
Now a recluse, Turk has reportedly
not left his Malibu mansion...
12
00:02:09,399 --> 00:02:12,804
...in over two years,
which qualifies him for this week's...
13
00:02:12,884 --> 00:02:16,661
- ...down and out celebrity in rock.
- Sheila!
14
00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:23,531
Speak English, Pepito. You know
perfectly well I don't speak Spanish.
15
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:27,053
- I'm English from London, remember?
- Okay, can I help, sir?
16
00:02:27,133 --> 00:02:30,024
Yes. Yes, you could help me.
I need to throw this TV...
17
00:02:30,104 --> 00:02:32,023
- ...into the pool!
- �Que?
18
00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:35,029
This TV set into the swimming pool!
19
00:02:35,109 --> 00:02:38,319
- Yeah, okay. Okay.
- Okay? Okay?
20
00:02:45,648 --> 00:02:47,305
Sheila!
21
00:02:47,785 --> 00:02:49,974
Would you like to check the guarantee first?
22
00:02:50,054 --> 00:02:51,331
Sheila!
23
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:01,535
Sheila!
24
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,711
I'm up here packing for our trip to Chile!
25
00:03:13,274 --> 00:03:16,295
- Sheila.
- Yes, Turk?
26
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,704
I have decided
I don't want to go on vacation.
27
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,588
Vacations are too stressful.
28
00:03:23,668 --> 00:03:26,830
But we're going there so that I can
learn more about your culture.
29
00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:30,754
But Chile's not my home.
I can't even speak Spanish.
30
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:34,117
You mean you won't even speak Spanish.
Come on. They love you back there.
31
00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:38,088
- Your picture's on every wall.
- Well, but I was young then, you know?
32
00:03:38,168 --> 00:03:42,926
Sorry... younger than now,
where I'm also young.
33
00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:45,596
And we need some time alone.
34
00:03:45,676 --> 00:03:49,533
You know, no assistants,
no bodyguards, no drivers.
35
00:03:49,613 --> 00:03:52,519
No nobody. Just us.
36
00:03:52,849 --> 00:03:55,859
Maybe you'll get inspired.
Maybe you'll start writing again.
37
00:03:55,939 --> 00:03:59,363
Oh, no, my chair is here.
I want to sit in my chair.
38
00:03:59,443 --> 00:04:02,402
- I love my chair!
- Fine!
39
00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:06,973
You can stay if you get rid of that hunk of
junk that's been rotting in our front yard.
40
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:10,587
That van is a reminder
of how far I have come.
41
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,190
You know, it keeps me down to Earth.
Be careful there!
42
00:04:13,270 --> 00:04:14,908
Yeah, of course. It keeps you down to Earth.
43
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:18,678
You just got a delivery of a crate of beer
that says it was brewed in space.
44
00:04:19,348 --> 00:04:21,681
So we keep the van, right?
45
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,264
- Fine! Chile it is.
- Yeah.
46
00:04:24,344 --> 00:04:27,921
Besides, I have already
been back to Chile, you know?
47
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:31,080
That was on tour! That doesn't count!
48
00:04:33,739 --> 00:04:36,296
- What?
- When I was on tour there...
49
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:40,100
...I got so drunk in a bar in Valparaiso...
50
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:43,736
...that I had a piss
that lasted seven minutes.
51
00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:46,073
You know, the owner was so impressed...
52
00:04:46,173 --> 00:04:49,009
...he told me he would build
a statue to commemorate it.
53
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,079
That's great. So we'll go
and visit the shrine to your piss.
54
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:54,880
- Yeah?
- Go and pack.
55
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,342
- I have already packed.
- Then go and watch TV.
56
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,064
We're in Chile!
57
00:05:23,155 --> 00:05:25,435
Oh, baby, baby. Look, look!
58
00:05:30,203 --> 00:05:33,193
Look, the trains in Chile are blue! See?
59
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:48,224
Baby! Baby!
60
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,563
- Gracias!
- Gracias!
61
00:06:12,776 --> 00:06:15,285
Where is your assistance? Turk!
62
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:23,793
Why is this place so empty?
63
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,390
Hey, hey, lady.
64
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,459
Why it's so cold here?
65
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,796
It's winter, sir.
66
00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:52,090
I'm not good with months,
but it's July, right?
67
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:59,173
I don't speak Spanish. I am English...
68
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:02,149
...so I do speak beer,
and, yes, I would love one.
69
00:07:02,229 --> 00:07:04,111
- Beer.
- Yes, indeed.
70
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,237
Beer is always in season.
71
00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,272
Turk!
72
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:13,280
I'm here! Oh, shit.
73
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,157
- Baby.
- Hey, hey, hey.
74
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,193
You knew it was winter.
75
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:22,319
Yeah, it's July. In Chile, July is winter.
76
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:26,126
- July is summer.
- Who's your new friend?
77
00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:28,935
He's my new manager, you know.
78
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:33,160
I'm gonna fire John. This little dude over
here can get me everything I need now.
79
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,808
Beer.
80
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,578
- He just gets me. All right.
- Yeah, okay.
81
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,470
We have to get going.
We leave in six minutes.
82
00:07:40,562 --> 00:07:44,685
Do you wanna come on a beautiful,
breathtaking, once-in-a-lifetime hike...
83
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,720
...through the mountains
with your loving wife...
84
00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:49,720
...or do you wanna lie here alone
in the cold and drink beer?
85
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,031
Beer.
86
00:07:52,621 --> 00:07:54,942
He makes a compelling argument.
87
00:07:55,022 --> 00:07:59,383
- Where is your sense of adventure?
- Well, I have done three world tours.
88
00:07:59,463 --> 00:08:01,909
I'm told they were very...
89
00:08:06,335 --> 00:08:08,959
- ...eventful.
- Please, Turk.
90
00:08:09,039 --> 00:08:13,284
You need to do something.
The band's over, not your life.
91
00:08:13,364 --> 00:08:17,321
Well, yeah, you better get going.
Your trip leaves in, like, three minutes.
92
00:08:17,401 --> 00:08:20,905
Yeah, sure. I get it. I get that
you don't like anything anymore.
93
00:08:20,985 --> 00:08:23,339
- Oh, no.
- But do you at least like me?
94
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:26,909
Be honest. Am I Yoko Ono?
95
00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,615
Of course not.
96
00:08:29,925 --> 00:08:31,449
Babe.
97
00:08:32,229 --> 00:08:34,551
I'll see you when you get back.
98
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:38,726
I love you. Have fun.
99
00:08:43,573 --> 00:08:45,385
Well, have fun.
100
00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:53,451
Beer time. Give it to me. Yeah! Oh, yeah.
101
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,464
Mr. Enry won't be joining us.
102
00:08:58,754 --> 00:09:01,168
- Thank you, ma'am.
- Thanks.
103
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,615
No, no. This is my better side.
104
00:09:04,895 --> 00:09:06,583
- Hello.
- Hello.
105
00:09:06,663 --> 00:09:08,252
You know you shouldn't tip them.
106
00:09:08,332 --> 00:09:12,289
Yeah, you can't let them think that they
can earn money just by being nice.
107
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,852
Are you excited about the llamas?
108
00:09:15,006 --> 00:09:17,227
Me and Charlie cannot wait to see the llamas.
109
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:21,131
- I can give or take the llamas.
- Charlie, you bloody fibber.
110
00:09:21,211 --> 00:09:24,091
He wouldn't stop talking
about them back at the hotel.
111
00:09:25,114 --> 00:09:28,729
Amy, let's start a Facebook live feed.
112
00:09:50,239 --> 00:09:51,920
Here we are.
113
00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:58,535
Se�ores, se�oras. Bienvenidos. Welcome.
114
00:09:58,615 --> 00:10:03,006
As we make our way up the trail, please
be careful not to startle the llamas, okay?
115
00:10:03,086 --> 00:10:06,306
- They don't take it very well.
- Can you say something really ethnic?
116
00:10:06,386 --> 00:10:08,112
I don't think we say
the word "ethnic" anymore.
117
00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:11,295
Guys! Guys! The llamas,
they're here, okay? Just come, be quiet.
118
00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:14,995
Charlie, don't get too excited. Remember
what happened with that kangaroo.
119
00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:30,834
So beautiful!
120
00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:34,105
Damn right.
121
00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:37,681
God, it's fur is gonna look gorgeous
as a rug in my den.
122
00:10:37,761 --> 00:10:40,411
What? What are you doing?
123
00:10:40,991 --> 00:10:46,417
- I thought this was a sightseeing tour?
- You pay, you see, you shoot, you whatever.
124
00:10:47,597 --> 00:10:50,855
Why would you want to shoot these
creatures? What is wrong with you?
125
00:10:50,935 --> 00:10:53,157
We came all the way down here
to the inferior hemisphere.
126
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:55,950
We're definitely gonna shoot something.
127
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,229
- I'm not gonna let you do this.
- I don't think you can stop us, honey.
128
00:10:59,309 --> 00:11:00,887
Yeah.
129
00:11:03,781 --> 00:11:07,858
Get out of here! These are bad people!
Bad, bad people!
130
00:11:11,653 --> 00:11:13,881
All right, darlin', we warned ya.
131
00:11:13,961 --> 00:11:16,203
Now get out of the way before we fire.
132
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:27,264
Well, looky here. A perfect bathmat.
133
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,915
- Oh, my God!
- What are they saying?
134
00:11:51,995 --> 00:11:54,096
They say, "we want the white people."
135
00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,157
Okay.
136
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:02,349
- Wait! Are you just gonna leave us?
- Yes! Goodbye!
137
00:12:03,038 --> 00:12:06,253
Do you have any idea who I am?
138
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:09,222
Any idea at all?
139
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:14,904
I am only the CEO of Dynet Media!
140
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,831
World leader in viral marketing.
Ring any bells?
141
00:12:20,857 --> 00:12:22,980
You don't even know
what viral marketing is, do you?
142
00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:24,681
Be quiet and get up!
143
00:12:24,761 --> 00:12:27,268
- I will not get up.
- I shall not get up, either.
144
00:12:27,349 --> 00:12:31,455
There's a reason they keep you people
down here in the bottom of the planet.
145
00:12:31,535 --> 00:12:36,894
Now, I have come to this toilet
of a country to shoot a llama...
146
00:12:36,974 --> 00:12:41,588
...and by God, I am going to shoot a llama!
147
00:12:48,986 --> 00:12:51,874
Never mess with a llama.
148
00:12:51,954 --> 00:12:54,945
Don't mistake their benevolence for weakness.
149
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:57,303
They are a proud beast.
150
00:13:00,063 --> 00:13:01,284
- Vamos. Vamos.
- No!
151
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,126
Hey! Come.
152
00:13:03,206 --> 00:13:06,245
Well, that wasn't very long
for the llamas, was it?
153
00:13:12,411 --> 00:13:13,981
Look at that.
154
00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:33,884
That's what I have to deal with
on a day-to-day basis.
155
00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:35,976
Do you see what she's doing?
156
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:47,130
- Sandrine, are you still there?
- Yes, love.
157
00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:50,901
- Do you know where we are?
- No, love. I've got a bag on my head.
158
00:13:50,981 --> 00:13:52,835
Me too.
159
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,894
You wouldn't know it, but I...
160
00:13:55,974 --> 00:13:58,281
...I used to be famous.
161
00:13:58,521 --> 00:14:01,285
I was in a rock band.
162
00:14:02,892 --> 00:14:06,349
Hey, yeah! You're a natural, man.
163
00:14:08,298 --> 00:14:12,022
Yeah. And the one thing that people
don't say to people...
164
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:15,983
...in rock bands is no.
165
00:14:17,239 --> 00:14:20,664
Well, a long story short...
166
00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:24,557
...I was diagnosed with a sex addiction.
167
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,161
I went to rehab.
168
00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:31,775
I was ready to leave, and...
169
00:14:31,855 --> 00:14:34,912
...but then I met Sheila, you know.
170
00:14:35,692 --> 00:14:38,505
The woman that is always mad with me.
171
00:14:39,495 --> 00:14:41,371
I'll tell you...
172
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:44,207
...she saved me.
173
00:14:44,687 --> 00:14:47,380
She pulled me back from the brink...
174
00:14:48,537 --> 00:14:50,961
...and my old life.
175
00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:55,722
All that old stuff that I used to do, and...
176
00:14:58,447 --> 00:15:01,671
- Beer.
- Why not? Yeah!
177
00:15:01,751 --> 00:15:03,973
While the cat is away.
178
00:15:04,053 --> 00:15:06,332
Give it to me. Yeah.
179
00:15:34,883 --> 00:15:36,963
Get her passport.
180
00:15:39,488 --> 00:15:41,861
You seem very nervous...
181
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,613
- ...Sandrine.
- It's just...
182
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:46,683
...it's our first time being kidnapped.
We don't want to get it wrong.
183
00:15:46,763 --> 00:15:49,291
- Do we, Charlie?
- No.
184
00:15:49,371 --> 00:15:50,920
You're doing just fine.
185
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,124
I run a top quality double
glazing company back in London...
186
00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:57,868
...and if we could pay the ransom
in windows, French windows...
187
00:15:57,948 --> 00:16:01,020
- ...we do French windows, too.
- Charlie.
188
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,206
You like the British band Metal Assassin?
189
00:16:19,094 --> 00:16:21,374
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
190
00:16:27,102 --> 00:16:29,343
Turk Enry is a God.
191
00:16:39,949 --> 00:16:41,494
You...
192
00:16:43,952 --> 00:16:46,143
...are Turk Enry's wife.
193
00:16:46,223 --> 00:16:48,482
Oh, shit.
194
00:17:05,908 --> 00:17:07,520
Yeah!
195
00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:11,024
Sheila, Sheila.
196
00:17:12,547 --> 00:17:14,394
Things are looking up.
197
00:17:41,476 --> 00:17:43,914
When I was five years old, I had a pet cat.
198
00:17:45,214 --> 00:17:47,103
It was a Siamese cat.
199
00:17:47,183 --> 00:17:49,206
I loved him very much.
200
00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:51,907
His name was Nomo.
201
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,000
Like the baseball player?
202
00:17:54,923 --> 00:17:57,948
Exactly like the baseball player...
203
00:17:58,628 --> 00:18:00,147
...except...
204
00:18:00,744 --> 00:18:04,790
...my Nomo was run over by a car...
205
00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:08,225
...dead. I took the body,
sealed it in a plastic bag...
206
00:18:08,305 --> 00:18:12,195
...put it in the family trashcan,
and five long, hot summer days later...
207
00:18:12,275 --> 00:18:16,920
...the stench coming out
of that can was unbelievable.
208
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,142
That's what your town smells like to me.
209
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:25,148
- Do you know why I like snakes, Ramon?
- No. I don't think anyone does.
210
00:18:25,228 --> 00:18:27,337
Because they're so clean.
211
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,261
And they can shed their skin.
I wish I could shed my skin.
212
00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:34,518
I would just take it all right off right here.
Snakes and I have that in common.
213
00:18:34,598 --> 00:18:37,220
- You know what else we have in common?
- You can dislocate your jaw?
214
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:40,991
We can only thrive in certain environments.
We need to be in a safe place...
215
00:18:41,071 --> 00:18:44,827
...in order to be the dominant killing
machines that we're meant to be.
216
00:18:44,907 --> 00:18:49,199
What I'm trying to say is I need to
get out of this pestilent colonial dump.
217
00:18:49,279 --> 00:18:51,357
I'm wasted.
218
00:18:56,852 --> 00:19:00,076
- Here it is.
- What is it?
219
00:19:00,156 --> 00:19:03,479
A taser gun. They wouldn't authorize
issue, so I just bought one myself.
220
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,049
- A toy one?
- No, it's a real one.
221
00:19:06,129 --> 00:19:10,921
Look, "shock your friends with 20,000 volts.
Be your own real-life dirty Barry."
222
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:13,122
I'm sure that's just a misprint.
223
00:19:13,202 --> 00:19:16,359
Very impressive, sir.
Chile is a safer place today.
224
00:19:16,439 --> 00:19:19,051
Open this. It's hurting my gums.
225
00:19:48,939 --> 00:19:51,795
This is the hotel manager. It's an emergency!
226
00:19:52,575 --> 00:19:54,153
What?
227
00:19:55,412 --> 00:19:58,091
Excuse me. May I come in?
228
00:19:59,682 --> 00:20:02,137
All right. Come in.
229
00:20:02,217 --> 00:20:06,476
I'm sorry, sir. I've been ringing you
over and over again without an answer.
230
00:20:06,556 --> 00:20:08,744
You better be telling me
that it's the end of the world...
231
00:20:08,824 --> 00:20:11,448
...or that someone kidnapped my wife.
232
00:20:11,528 --> 00:20:15,451
- Someone has kidnapped your wife.
- Exactly. You better be telling me that.
233
00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:18,077
Someone has kidnapped your wife.
234
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,525
They're asking for a million dollars.
235
00:20:24,505 --> 00:20:28,387
Oh, thank God. I thought
they'd be asking for a lot of money.
236
00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,474
John Hardigger's office, this is Marybeth.
237
00:20:38,554 --> 00:20:41,678
Hey, Marybeth. It's Turk.
I need to speak to John.
238
00:20:41,758 --> 00:20:45,348
Turk! Well, John's in a meeting.
239
00:20:45,428 --> 00:20:47,824
Who is he with that is
more important than me?
240
00:20:47,904 --> 00:20:50,153
Right now, Turk, everyone.
241
00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:54,424
Well, he's in a meeting with the lead
singer of Masculine Harmony right now...
242
00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,893
...trying to convince him
to stay in the closet.
243
00:20:56,973 --> 00:20:59,736
We all want to be gay, Steve. All of us.
244
00:20:59,976 --> 00:21:03,766
No women telling us what to do,
great fashion sense.
245
00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:08,441
You can seemingly grab women's breasts
willy-nilly, and it's apparently fine.
246
00:21:08,521 --> 00:21:13,509
But I just don't see that working for you
in the context of the music industry.
247
00:21:13,589 --> 00:21:16,079
Look, think about it.
Which would you rather have...
248
00:21:16,159 --> 00:21:20,974
...the freedom to love whoever
you choose or loads of cash?
249
00:21:21,054 --> 00:21:23,090
- Can I help you?
- Tell John...
250
00:21:23,170 --> 00:21:26,089
...that Sheila has been kidnapped
and they need a million dollars!
251
00:21:26,169 --> 00:21:29,859
Well, I don't need John. I wouldn't even
wake him up for a million dollars.
252
00:21:29,939 --> 00:21:35,331
That's what I said! Listen, this has
to stay between the three of us, okay?
253
00:21:35,411 --> 00:21:38,835
Or they say they'll kill her.
I need the money, like, right now!
254
00:21:38,915 --> 00:21:41,980
- Is that understood? Can you handle it?
- I'm on it. I'm on it.
255
00:21:42,060 --> 00:21:46,042
And tell John to fuck off for never
answering my calls anymore.
256
00:21:46,122 --> 00:21:49,479
Okay, tell John you need a million
dollars for his kidnapped wife...
257
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:52,365
...keep it a secret, and to fuck off. Got it.
258
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:56,176
Bye. Bye. Yeah, yeah. That's it.
259
00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:02,625
- Have you heard of the gatos?
- Doesn't that mean cats?
260
00:22:02,705 --> 00:22:06,823
It does. In Chile,
that's what we call our pirates.
261
00:22:07,643 --> 00:22:11,600
They are former fisherman who were
crowded out by big companies.
262
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,834
You see, in this country,
a few wealthy people like you...
263
00:22:14,914 --> 00:22:17,588
...they own and control everything...
264
00:22:18,241 --> 00:22:20,910
...even the licenses of who can fish.
265
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,314
That is why this village that we're in now...
266
00:22:24,394 --> 00:22:29,363
...once thriving with the life and
laughter of families, now lies empty.
267
00:22:29,443 --> 00:22:33,720
Now the gatos rob the big boats
to get their fish back.
268
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:37,226
What I do have is my crew...
269
00:22:37,306 --> 00:22:39,563
...and what I do not have is a ship.
270
00:22:39,943 --> 00:22:42,904
So you see, that's why
you're here, unfortunately.
271
00:22:43,379 --> 00:22:48,120
I, too, like the gatos, had to make
the choice between starving...
272
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,607
...and this dangerous life you see.
273
00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:55,268
Listen, when I was modeling,
I had to skip meals all the time, too.
274
00:23:02,997 --> 00:23:05,255
Okay, here's the deal.
275
00:23:05,345 --> 00:23:07,953
Some foreigners have been kidnapped
in Cerro la Cam...
276
00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:09,639
Campana.
277
00:23:09,719 --> 00:23:12,195
But one of them is a celebrity.
278
00:23:12,775 --> 00:23:14,822
What? What? What? A movie star? Who is it?
279
00:23:14,902 --> 00:23:17,198
Okay, listen.
We've gotta keep this on the QT.
280
00:23:17,278 --> 00:23:20,003
Not even the legal attach� finds out
about it until I've checked it out.
281
00:23:20,083 --> 00:23:22,506
Everything is on QT. Got it.
282
00:23:24,286 --> 00:23:27,610
- Where is QT?
- You don't know what QT means?
283
00:23:27,690 --> 00:23:30,527
I learn English at night school, sir.
I almost did ceramics.
284
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:34,284
- It means quiet.
- Ceramics means pots.
285
00:23:34,364 --> 00:23:36,166
No, QT means quiet.
286
00:23:36,246 --> 00:23:38,905
I see. It's almost onomatopoeic?
287
00:23:40,035 --> 00:23:42,360
You know onomatopoeic, but you don't know QT?
288
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,473
- I did not set the curriculum.
- Okay, listen...
289
00:23:44,553 --> 00:23:47,624
...this could be a straightforward
case of kidnapping, or...
290
00:23:47,704 --> 00:23:51,134
...it could be something a little
more sinister, like terrorist activity.
291
00:23:52,214 --> 00:23:54,870
Terrorists? Here?
292
00:23:54,950 --> 00:23:59,514
It would be to my advantage if it were.
It would help me get a position in Washington.
293
00:24:01,856 --> 00:24:05,427
Do you have a shower here?
I'd love to clean up.
294
00:24:19,274 --> 00:24:21,207
I will be just outside the door.
295
00:24:38,683 --> 00:24:40,906
How you getting on in there?
296
00:24:43,197 --> 00:24:45,527
I'm fine, thanks!
297
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:09,542
Finished showering, I see.
298
00:25:13,695 --> 00:25:16,575
How long exactly have you guys been pirates?
299
00:25:17,833 --> 00:25:20,880
Almost nine hours.
300
00:25:32,707 --> 00:25:36,039
Are you the concierge?
That's the lighter that doesn't work.
301
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,741
No, Mr. Turk, I am Federal Agent Harding.
302
00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:43,062
- Enry.
- No, Harding. Ben Harding.
303
00:25:43,142 --> 00:25:45,087
- I am Enry.
- I thought it was Turk.
304
00:25:45,167 --> 00:25:48,751
Turk Enry. Please, take a seat.
305
00:25:48,831 --> 00:25:52,088
Listen, Mr. Enry,
American three-letter agencies...
306
00:25:52,168 --> 00:25:54,947
...are already at work on your case.
You should expect...
307
00:25:55,027 --> 00:25:57,436
Well, you know, my manager
is taking care of everything.
308
00:25:57,516 --> 00:26:00,763
It won't take long, and I'm sorry
we have wasted your time.
309
00:26:00,843 --> 00:26:02,932
Mr. Enry, there are some things
we need to discuss.
310
00:26:03,012 --> 00:26:06,102
I'm concerned they're asking
for so much money.
311
00:26:07,882 --> 00:26:11,773
One million. Do you think
that's a lot of money?
312
00:26:11,853 --> 00:26:16,012
Well, you know, I once bought
a giant "tor-toys" for 2 million.
313
00:26:16,092 --> 00:26:19,949
I thought I could ride up the street,
you know, like the king of tortoises...
314
00:26:20,029 --> 00:26:22,986
...but that thing barely bloody moved.
315
00:26:23,066 --> 00:26:25,529
You could use the back of it as a table.
316
00:26:25,609 --> 00:26:30,282
We believe this is the work
of a terrorist cell.
317
00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:34,530
- Terrorists?
- We heard some chatter...
318
00:26:35,210 --> 00:26:38,134
...from the Aggregate Homeland/NSA...
319
00:26:38,214 --> 00:26:41,760
...metadata harvesting machines
up in outer space.
320
00:26:43,418 --> 00:26:45,741
Now, it's classified for your safety.
321
00:26:45,821 --> 00:26:48,578
Screw it. You know, it makes no difference.
322
00:26:48,658 --> 00:26:51,147
I'll pay the money, I get Sheila back...
323
00:26:51,227 --> 00:26:55,785
...and maybe next time she'll think twice
before flying us to exotic places.
324
00:26:55,865 --> 00:26:58,288
Maybe you don't understand me.
325
00:26:58,368 --> 00:27:01,758
The United States government
does not negotiate with terrorists...
326
00:27:01,838 --> 00:27:04,414
...and we cannot allow you to fund them.
327
00:27:04,494 --> 00:27:08,064
I'm not starting an Indiegogo for Isis.
I'm getting my wife back.
328
00:27:08,144 --> 00:27:11,000
Imagine what those savages
could do with a million dollars.
329
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,170
Yeah, they could buy half a giant tortoise.
330
00:27:14,650 --> 00:27:17,573
- What's a "tor-toys"?
- It's a big animal with a shell.
331
00:27:17,653 --> 00:27:19,531
So it's a turtle.
332
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,656
Luis was a bus boy.
333
00:27:34,536 --> 00:27:36,715
Diego was a school teacher.
334
00:27:37,705 --> 00:27:39,992
We all wanted something more.
335
00:27:40,072 --> 00:27:42,365
When you're poor, people take from you...
336
00:27:42,845 --> 00:27:45,301
...until you can't take it anymore...
337
00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:47,906
...and then you take back.
338
00:27:48,718 --> 00:27:51,464
That is freedom.
339
00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:58,848
What's the matter?
340
00:27:59,728 --> 00:28:01,918
Diego is saying he's
putting on too much weight...
341
00:28:02,098 --> 00:28:04,474
...and can we please
cut the carbs in the meal.
342
00:28:04,834 --> 00:28:08,005
He is one fat fucker! Get out!
343
00:28:16,846 --> 00:28:19,589
- Come on.
- Turk!
344
00:28:19,669 --> 00:28:23,105
John says, and I quote,
"you can tell that U.S. government tool...
345
00:28:23,185 --> 00:28:25,575
...that if they think they can keep
you from getting your wife back...
346
00:28:25,655 --> 00:28:29,926
...they're gonna have every media outlet in
the bloody universe climbing up their asses."
347
00:28:30,006 --> 00:28:32,715
Last thing we need to do
is keep this on the QT.
348
00:28:32,795 --> 00:28:35,201
Did... did John really say that?
349
00:28:35,281 --> 00:28:37,820
He would have if he'd read my emails.
350
00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:41,991
Normal people do this every day.
It's as simple as opening a beer.
351
00:28:42,071 --> 00:28:44,827
- Well, who is bringing the money?
- The money's at the bank.
352
00:28:44,907 --> 00:28:48,064
- You just need to go and pick it up.
- Me?
353
00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:52,708
Why do I have to do it? Can I...
can I pay someone to do it?
354
00:28:52,788 --> 00:28:56,795
I don't, you know, do things.
355
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,410
You'll be fine. It's a trip to the bank.
356
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:04,103
Here, this is how you throw a punch.
357
00:29:05,727 --> 00:29:08,651
- John should be here.
- Pick up the money, wait for the kidnappers.
358
00:29:08,731 --> 00:29:12,488
- Nothing to worry about.
- I am bloody terrified.
359
00:29:12,568 --> 00:29:15,624
It will all be over soon. I promise.
360
00:29:15,704 --> 00:29:19,351
And I'll keep trying to reach John,
but you don't need him.
361
00:29:19,809 --> 00:29:21,320
Shit!
362
00:29:22,911 --> 00:29:24,733
What did she call me?
363
00:29:24,813 --> 00:29:26,325
Tool.
364
00:29:31,786 --> 00:29:33,675
Here's your taxi, sir.
365
00:29:34,055 --> 00:29:36,068
Wait, wait, wait.
366
00:30:10,558 --> 00:30:13,605
Pedicab. All right.
367
00:30:17,031 --> 00:30:20,122
Welcome to Banco Nacional, Mr. Enry.
Everything is ready for you.
368
00:30:20,202 --> 00:30:23,081
Very good. Very good. Excellent.
369
00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:32,825
Please.
370
00:30:35,148 --> 00:30:36,962
That's it?
371
00:30:37,854 --> 00:30:41,811
It seems that a million dollars
cash should look more...
372
00:30:41,891 --> 00:30:43,445
...dramatic.
373
00:30:43,725 --> 00:30:49,174
Well, hey, everything else in the world
is just disappointing, so why not this?
374
00:30:49,699 --> 00:30:51,920
Mr. Enry, you must count it.
375
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:57,256
The main reason I became a musician
was because we only count to four.
376
00:30:58,407 --> 00:30:59,919
Okay.
377
00:31:01,010 --> 00:31:03,766
One, two, three, four.
378
00:31:03,846 --> 00:31:06,268
One, two, three, four.
379
00:31:06,348 --> 00:31:09,104
And one, two, and...
380
00:31:09,184 --> 00:31:10,762
...perfect.
381
00:31:15,055 --> 00:31:18,113
Mr. Enry, I'm sorry.
I can't let you take that money.
382
00:31:18,193 --> 00:31:22,918
What money? I am just a man
going out for a walk with...
383
00:31:22,998 --> 00:31:25,321
- ...his suitcase.
- This is a matter of national security.
384
00:31:25,401 --> 00:31:27,490
No, no, no, no, no.
385
00:31:27,570 --> 00:31:30,326
Mr. Enry, I could have you arrested
for violating the patriot act.
386
00:31:30,406 --> 00:31:34,663
The press'll get wind of this, your wife will
be in even more trouble. Now just stop it.
387
00:31:34,743 --> 00:31:37,400
Just relax. Take a quaalude.
388
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,936
You don't have to save the day.
Somebody else will do it for you.
389
00:31:42,016 --> 00:31:46,703
- Well, yeah. Maybe you're right. Yeah.
- Yes. That's the spirit.
390
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,280
I'm comin' for you, Turk Enry!
391
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,172
Oh, no!
392
00:32:12,614 --> 00:32:14,493
Move it!
393
00:32:26,614 --> 00:32:28,340
Out!
394
00:32:37,805 --> 00:32:41,430
What the fuck am I doing? Out! Get out!
395
00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:49,027
No!
396
00:32:51,053 --> 00:32:53,461
Out! Out of the way!
397
00:33:00,194 --> 00:33:01,917
Oh, my God.
398
00:33:02,027 --> 00:33:04,653
He actually did it.
399
00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:07,613
This is so cool!
400
00:33:11,139 --> 00:33:13,696
Please, please, don't arrest me.
401
00:33:13,776 --> 00:33:17,290
Don't arrest me in front of... of me.
402
00:33:20,114 --> 00:33:23,273
Okay. I'm going to impound the money,
you're gonna stay in your hotel...
403
00:33:23,353 --> 00:33:26,035
...and consider yourself lucky
I don't arrest you.
404
00:33:26,115 --> 00:33:30,646
Am I supposed to say thank you?
Okay, then, thank you, you colossal prick!
405
00:33:30,726 --> 00:33:33,445
You know I need that money to rescue my wife!
406
00:33:33,525 --> 00:33:35,985
I can have you arrested
for violating the espionage act...
407
00:33:36,065 --> 00:33:39,622
...for aiding, abetting,
and communicating with the enemy.
408
00:33:39,702 --> 00:33:44,313
Now, even your high-priced attorney
can't help you when I ship you off to Gitmo.
409
00:33:50,578 --> 00:33:52,458
Good day, sir.
410
00:34:09,198 --> 00:34:12,065
It feels good to speak Spanish.
411
00:34:12,905 --> 00:34:17,226
50 minutes cardio, 50 minutes pilates,
starting at 6:00 every morning.
412
00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:19,912
I can give you a detailed plan.
413
00:34:23,712 --> 00:34:26,167
Plus you need to show strength.
414
00:34:26,247 --> 00:34:28,049
You're a pirate captain.
415
00:34:28,129 --> 00:34:30,472
Yeah. Yeah, tell me...
416
00:34:30,552 --> 00:34:33,031
...tell me more about that.
417
00:34:36,490 --> 00:34:39,972
Excuse me... I'll speak to my crew.
418
00:35:05,653 --> 00:35:07,198
Hi.
419
00:35:12,493 --> 00:35:14,540
A show of strength it is.
420
00:35:30,478 --> 00:35:32,324
What do I do now?
421
00:35:33,998 --> 00:35:38,247
They won't let me pay the ransom.
I can't rescue Sheila.
422
00:35:39,570 --> 00:35:41,383
A beer?
423
00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:44,696
You are so right.
424
00:35:45,876 --> 00:35:49,301
I'll call my manager.
I'm a freakin' rock star.
425
00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:51,403
And I don't have to get my hands dirty.
426
00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:55,074
I pay 10% on everything I earn...
427
00:35:55,154 --> 00:35:59,601
...so someone else can get my wife
out of hostage situations.
428
00:36:00,359 --> 00:36:03,682
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
I can't call John up...
429
00:36:03,762 --> 00:36:07,453
...and Harding has definitely
tapped my phone.
430
00:36:07,533 --> 00:36:10,345
That's how he knew I was at the bank.
431
00:36:12,637 --> 00:36:14,917
You are so sharp, boy.
432
00:36:22,546 --> 00:36:24,303
John Hardigger's office.
433
00:36:24,383 --> 00:36:27,539
Really? I can't even get John at 3 a.m.?
434
00:36:27,919 --> 00:36:32,945
All right, Marybeth...
listen carefully, all right?
435
00:36:33,025 --> 00:36:34,913
My phone is tapped.
436
00:36:34,993 --> 00:36:37,803
Why? You're the most irrelevant
person I know right now.
437
00:36:37,883 --> 00:36:40,032
Just write it down.
438
00:36:40,112 --> 00:36:42,119
I'm speaking in code.
439
00:36:42,834 --> 00:36:45,290
Slots and roulette.
440
00:36:45,670 --> 00:36:47,866
Slots and roulette.
441
00:36:47,946 --> 00:36:51,697
- Good at making friends.
- Good at making friends.
442
00:36:51,777 --> 00:36:54,934
- John Mayer's sixth album...
- Paradise Valley.
443
00:36:55,014 --> 00:36:57,769
- But in Spanish.
- But in Spanish.
444
00:36:57,849 --> 00:37:00,295
My grandmother's homeland.
445
00:37:00,919 --> 00:37:04,966
- Will you remember what I said tonight?
- What I said tonight.
446
00:37:05,256 --> 00:37:07,378
Yeah. Bye.
447
00:37:07,458 --> 00:37:09,038
Casino.
448
00:37:11,595 --> 00:37:12,821
Social.
449
00:37:14,532 --> 00:37:16,798
Valle Paraiso.
450
00:37:18,135 --> 00:37:20,592
Chile. Bob Dylan.
451
00:37:20,672 --> 00:37:23,919
The first line of "Tomorrow Night."
452
00:37:25,810 --> 00:37:30,235
Casino social, Valparaiso, Chile...
453
00:37:30,315 --> 00:37:31,827
...tomorrow.
454
00:37:33,151 --> 00:37:34,673
Shit.
455
00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:37,426
I'm going to south America.
456
00:38:09,988 --> 00:38:13,612
Where are we going?
We've been walking for bloody hours.
457
00:38:13,692 --> 00:38:17,773
And we're both wearing crocs.
They are not a hiking shoe.
458
00:38:22,633 --> 00:38:27,016
Look, if you're gonna kill us, just do it,
all right? Just do it. Just bloody do it!
459
00:38:29,340 --> 00:38:31,520
You don't have to be so enthusiastic, Sandy.
460
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,867
I mean, you don't have to do it.
You really don't.
461
00:38:34,947 --> 00:38:37,836
- Buenos noches.
- That means good night.
462
00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:39,790
- This is it, then.
- Oh, God!
463
00:38:39,870 --> 00:38:42,164
I want you to know
I've always been faithful to you.
464
00:38:42,244 --> 00:38:44,176
- I know, love.
- Do you want to say it back to me?
465
00:38:44,256 --> 00:38:46,661
- What, love?
- That you've been faithful.
466
00:38:46,741 --> 00:38:48,714
- In body or in mind, Charlie?
- What?
467
00:38:48,794 --> 00:38:52,084
- They're two different things.
- Well, just the body thing.
468
00:38:52,164 --> 00:38:54,209
Bloody hell, Charlie!
469
00:38:57,768 --> 00:38:59,314
Captain?
470
00:39:03,524 --> 00:39:05,377
Where have they bloody gone?
471
00:39:10,087 --> 00:39:13,705
God. This is the worst holiday we've been on.
472
00:39:13,785 --> 00:39:16,775
- What, worse than Scotland?
- No, not worse than Scotland.
473
00:39:16,855 --> 00:39:19,361
That bloody awful breakfast bar.
474
00:39:24,861 --> 00:39:29,388
Where were you? You just leave me
all tied up here with Se�or Carbs?
475
00:39:29,468 --> 00:39:31,556
All right, Sheila, Sheila,
I understand you're upset...
476
00:39:31,636 --> 00:39:34,052
...and this is not very comfortable
for you, but...
477
00:39:34,132 --> 00:39:37,242
...soon you can go back to being
the pampered wife of a retired rock star.
478
00:39:37,322 --> 00:39:42,458
Excuse me? He is the pampered
husband of a retired supermodel.
479
00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:59,385
Maybe you're right.
480
00:40:00,465 --> 00:40:02,745
I'm just a rock star's wife now.
481
00:40:12,510 --> 00:40:14,600
He's agreed to pay the ransom.
482
00:40:15,380 --> 00:40:17,702
Of course he's going to pay the ransom.
483
00:40:17,782 --> 00:40:19,661
We're married.
484
00:40:20,318 --> 00:40:22,173
And we only have each other now.
485
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,743
Well, what about Metal Assassin?
486
00:40:24,823 --> 00:40:26,645
They split up.
487
00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:30,638
Actually, they split up
with Turk since we got clean.
488
00:40:52,516 --> 00:40:56,798
Yeah, it turns out without the drugs
and sex, they had nothing to talk about.
489
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:02,180
I don't know if Turk
has ever forgiven me for that.
490
00:41:02,260 --> 00:41:05,907
Well, he hasn't forgiven you
for saving his life?
491
00:41:07,197 --> 00:41:10,623
I'm not sure he thinks
his life's worth too much.
492
00:41:11,703 --> 00:41:13,926
He's been sulking for months.
493
00:41:15,106 --> 00:41:19,187
He wouldn't even go on this tour
of Cayo Santiago with me.
494
00:41:20,912 --> 00:41:25,727
He shouldn't be paying my ransom.
He should be here with me, goddamn it.
495
00:41:27,117 --> 00:41:29,932
My life is just so unfair.
496
00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:39,518
My parents were burned
by narcos when I was three.
497
00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:44,923
As a child alone in the streets amidst
the abuse, the drugs and beatings...
498
00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:48,427
...I had one friend, my dog.
499
00:41:49,407 --> 00:41:51,853
One day I got so hungry, I...
500
00:41:52,976 --> 00:41:55,424
...ate my dog.
501
00:42:02,152 --> 00:42:03,876
Okay, you win.
502
00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:12,974
Stop. Para, para, para, para, para.
503
00:42:14,398 --> 00:42:15,978
Beer?
504
00:43:03,481 --> 00:43:05,136
Turkey!
505
00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:09,097
- Hey.
- I got here as fast as I could.
506
00:43:10,654 --> 00:43:12,211
So...
507
00:43:12,691 --> 00:43:14,679
...where is John?
508
00:43:14,759 --> 00:43:17,849
To be honest, I don't know.
509
00:43:17,929 --> 00:43:21,652
I'm pretty low on the pecking order,
but I hear that he's somewhere important.
510
00:43:21,732 --> 00:43:24,626
So who is he sending to help?
511
00:43:26,905 --> 00:43:28,793
I'm the cavalry.
512
00:43:29,473 --> 00:43:32,564
Sheila, baby, we are so screwed.
513
00:43:32,644 --> 00:43:36,568
"And though she be but little, she is
fierce." I've made us an appointment.
514
00:43:37,308 --> 00:43:38,974
- Okay. Yeah. Good.
- Yeah.
515
00:43:39,054 --> 00:43:41,506
- Who is coming for...
- G'day!
516
00:43:41,986 --> 00:43:43,575
Here he is.
517
00:43:43,655 --> 00:43:46,207
Mr. Enry, Clive Muggleton.
518
00:43:46,557 --> 00:43:49,597
- I'm your case officer.
- Jesus.
519
00:43:50,477 --> 00:43:53,936
Those are some white teeth,
you know that? They're beautiful.
520
00:43:54,016 --> 00:43:56,854
It reminds me of high-grade cocaine.
521
00:43:57,370 --> 00:43:59,057
- Yeah.
- Hi. You must be Miss Monahan.
522
00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:02,140
Well, we spoke on the phone,
so thanks very much for coming down here.
523
00:44:02,220 --> 00:44:06,065
A pleasure to put a face to the voice
and a body to that face.
524
00:44:07,245 --> 00:44:10,412
Sorry. I'm doing a course on misogyny
to stop all that. That just popped out.
525
00:44:10,492 --> 00:44:14,005
- Won't happen again.
- About my situation...
526
00:44:14,085 --> 00:44:16,575
Yes, here's the blurb.
Layem international consultants.
527
00:44:16,655 --> 00:44:19,111
We're a full-service
executive security agency.
528
00:44:19,191 --> 00:44:22,547
We do it all, from debugging offices
to providing expertise in planning...
529
00:44:22,627 --> 00:44:26,818
...and here's the part you'll like,
executing ransom and retrieval operations.
530
00:44:26,898 --> 00:44:30,154
What if something happens to Sheila?
531
00:44:30,234 --> 00:44:34,616
Well, I'll find the bastards responsible,
and I'll bring you their heads in a bag.
532
00:44:36,807 --> 00:44:40,832
I... I don't think I want the head in a bag.
533
00:44:42,112 --> 00:44:44,853
- Where would I put it?
- The fridge.
534
00:44:45,483 --> 00:44:47,038
Yeah.
535
00:44:47,118 --> 00:44:50,569
I mean this completely as a compliment,
but you have the perfect-sized knockers.
536
00:44:50,649 --> 00:44:53,981
I mean, they're just the size.
Sorry, won't happen again.
537
00:44:55,292 --> 00:44:56,898
- Okay.
- So...
538
00:44:56,978 --> 00:45:00,319
- ...she tells me you're in some sort of band?
- He's in Metal Assassin.
539
00:45:00,399 --> 00:45:04,289
Well, I can't say I've heard of him,
but I'm into Crowded House, INXS, AC/DC...
540
00:45:04,369 --> 00:45:06,257
...both the Minogues, Dannii and Kylie.
541
00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:08,727
All right, enough chit-chat.
I'm gonna do some recon.
542
00:45:08,807 --> 00:45:12,030
I'll meet you in the afternoon.
Stay out of trouble, super boobs.
543
00:45:12,110 --> 00:45:15,156
I'm sorry. That one is a step over the line.
544
00:45:19,016 --> 00:45:21,463
Sir? Okay.
545
00:45:28,091 --> 00:45:31,917
Okay. I want you to consider
a hypothetical situation.
546
00:45:31,997 --> 00:45:33,819
You're presented with two doors.
547
00:45:33,899 --> 00:45:37,556
Behind door number one,
germ-infested pile of fecal matter.
548
00:45:37,636 --> 00:45:40,058
The closer you get
to this mound of excrement...
549
00:45:40,138 --> 00:45:44,063
...you see that it's teeming with
prostitutes, thieves, and pickpockets.
550
00:45:44,143 --> 00:45:47,799
- Sounds like my front door.
- Behind door number two...
551
00:45:47,879 --> 00:45:52,434
...suitcase full of nice,
clean U.S. cash dollars.
552
00:45:52,514 --> 00:45:56,130
- That sounds better.
- Well, which door would you take?
553
00:45:59,588 --> 00:46:02,694
Okay. The money over shit.
554
00:46:02,774 --> 00:46:05,904
Okay, I have a way to make
both of our dreams come true.
555
00:46:05,984 --> 00:46:09,188
You know what I would do if I had $1 million?
556
00:46:09,968 --> 00:46:13,918
I'd go get myself a little dosa cart.
Sell dosas all day long.
557
00:46:14,938 --> 00:46:18,563
- I have no idea what that is.
- Okay.
558
00:46:19,343 --> 00:46:23,224
I want you to follow Mr. Enry.
I need to know his every move.
559
00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:27,429
Buenos d�as, se�ora.
560
00:46:33,123 --> 00:46:37,048
This is awesome. Awesome.
Love it. I'm gonna buy it from you.
561
00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:39,942
I don't understand this arrangement at all.
562
00:47:15,364 --> 00:47:17,222
Muchas gracias.
563
00:47:17,762 --> 00:47:21,282
Well, all right, gorgeous. G'day.
564
00:47:22,006 --> 00:47:23,895
How are you enjoying Valparaiso?
565
00:47:23,975 --> 00:47:27,966
Yeah, it's like, San Fran meets
South Beach, only mucho grosser.
566
00:47:28,046 --> 00:47:30,051
So it's a bit like Nottingham really.
567
00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:34,372
Look, I'm just gonna say it.
You look unbelievable in those pants.
568
00:47:34,452 --> 00:47:37,698
Five-star ass. And there, that's me done.
569
00:47:38,422 --> 00:47:40,234
Gin and tonic?
570
00:47:41,109 --> 00:47:44,216
Right, back to business. The U.S. government.
571
00:47:44,296 --> 00:47:47,565
They've got their heads up their ass.
The kidnappers aren't terrorists.
572
00:47:47,645 --> 00:47:49,407
- How do you know that?
- I just know.
573
00:47:49,487 --> 00:47:52,391
I reckon that some blokes just got lucky.
They went fishing for tourists.
574
00:47:52,471 --> 00:47:56,694
They nabbed the wife of a rock star.
I reckon they're shittin' themselves.
575
00:47:56,774 --> 00:47:58,413
So what should we do?
576
00:47:58,493 --> 00:48:01,572
Pay the ransom, get your wife back.
577
00:48:01,979 --> 00:48:04,793
Get laid, not necessarily in that order.
578
00:48:04,873 --> 00:48:07,960
All right, we'll pick it up tomorrow.
In the meantime, stay off the phones.
579
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,265
We want them out of the loop.
580
00:48:12,455 --> 00:48:15,113
- Everything's gonna be all right.
- Yeah, yeah.
581
00:48:15,193 --> 00:48:17,005
I'll see you later.
582
00:48:30,374 --> 00:48:33,798
I'm Agent Harding. I got five words for ya.
583
00:48:34,178 --> 00:48:36,358
Drop the Enry case.
584
00:48:40,784 --> 00:48:43,388
Drop the Turk Enry case.
585
00:48:43,888 --> 00:48:46,324
- What do you care?
- I might have some friends in Washington...
586
00:48:46,404 --> 00:48:48,927
...who would be interested in pulling
some lucrative middle-east contracts...
587
00:48:49,007 --> 00:48:52,821
...once they find out their guy in Chile
screwed the pooch on a terrorism case.
588
00:48:52,901 --> 00:48:56,855
Screwed the pooch?
You guys still saying that?
589
00:48:56,935 --> 00:48:58,779
Oh, yeah.
590
00:49:01,571 --> 00:49:03,195
Okay.
591
00:49:03,275 --> 00:49:05,764
Well, great. Let's go.
592
00:49:05,844 --> 00:49:08,366
No, no, no. Wait. Hold on, hold on.
593
00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:11,258
I thought you couldn't wait
to get out of here?
594
00:49:11,850 --> 00:49:13,861
That guy is amazing.
595
00:49:15,685 --> 00:49:17,532
So passionate.
596
00:49:19,423 --> 00:49:22,898
And he's killing it,
and no one seems to give a shit.
597
00:49:28,266 --> 00:49:30,011
He's the real deal.
598
00:49:31,902 --> 00:49:33,915
Look at him.
599
00:49:38,575 --> 00:49:40,682
He lives for music.
600
00:49:57,929 --> 00:50:02,210
Sorry, sorry. Let me just write
this down while it's still in my head.
601
00:50:04,402 --> 00:50:08,025
I'm not gonna sugar the pill.
I don't have great news.
602
00:50:08,605 --> 00:50:10,227
Sheila?
603
00:50:10,307 --> 00:50:13,898
No, the U.S. government.
They put pressure on the company.
604
00:50:13,978 --> 00:50:15,663
They won't let me take the case.
605
00:50:15,743 --> 00:50:18,236
Is it because of that terrorist crap, right?
606
00:50:18,316 --> 00:50:20,738
Yep, yep. For what it's worth, it's bullshit.
607
00:50:20,818 --> 00:50:25,063
Am I supposed to let her rot while they
decide what the hell they want to do?
608
00:50:25,143 --> 00:50:27,661
- They already have my million dollars!
- Excellent. Excellent.
609
00:50:27,741 --> 00:50:30,992
Now stay angry, and I want you to
listen to me, all right? Hit the table.
610
00:50:31,072 --> 00:50:32,734
Why?
611
00:50:32,814 --> 00:50:35,703
There's a guy over there.
He's been following us.
612
00:50:35,883 --> 00:50:37,328
Act angry.
613
00:50:37,408 --> 00:50:41,145
But I can't act unless I'm high
and I'm surrounded by dolphins.
614
00:50:41,225 --> 00:50:45,380
- I just need you to do it, okay?
- I'm so angry, and...
615
00:50:45,460 --> 00:50:48,683
- ...and... and, shit!
- Yeah, well, company...
616
00:50:48,763 --> 00:50:51,549
...can't take the case, but I will.
617
00:50:51,629 --> 00:50:54,222
No, I'm... pissed off!
618
00:50:54,302 --> 00:50:56,525
My fee's half million dollars
wired to this account.
619
00:50:56,605 --> 00:51:00,409
Go to hell, you marsupial-fellating dingo!
620
00:51:00,841 --> 00:51:01,883
I'm sorry.
621
00:51:01,963 --> 00:51:04,644
Don't know if you're jerking my crank
or his, but the racial stuff, mate...
622
00:51:04,724 --> 00:51:07,822
- ...that's a bit... you know?
- I was carried away...
623
00:51:07,902 --> 00:51:10,104
...you didgeridoo douchebag!
624
00:51:10,184 --> 00:51:14,409
God, mate! I can't help ya!
You used-up wannabe has-been!
625
00:51:14,489 --> 00:51:18,769
You didn't have to get personal,
man, okay? It really hurts.
626
00:51:19,993 --> 00:51:23,197
My men stole it from a junkyard.
627
00:51:24,697 --> 00:51:27,866
- They should have left it there.
- Watch out.
628
00:51:29,369 --> 00:51:32,814
You need to be careful when tacking.
The boom is always on the move.
629
00:51:33,474 --> 00:51:37,164
- You can sail?
- Yeah. I was raised in the fjords of Sweden.
630
00:51:37,244 --> 00:51:40,601
Oh, I realize I have much to learn.
631
00:51:40,681 --> 00:51:43,131
I should not be captain.
You should be captain.
632
00:51:44,251 --> 00:51:47,942
- Okay, take the tiller.
- Yes, of course.
633
00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:49,867
Which one's the tiller?
634
00:51:52,558 --> 00:51:55,413
- This is the tiller. I knew it.
- Yeah.
635
00:51:55,493 --> 00:51:57,975
We'll make a pirate of you yet.
636
00:51:58,799 --> 00:52:01,702
Also, you're gonna need a hat.
637
00:52:01,782 --> 00:52:03,748
A pirate hat.
638
00:52:08,509 --> 00:52:12,367
Filthy, sickening mountain
of vile putrefaction.
639
00:52:12,447 --> 00:52:14,902
You wanted to see me, sir?
640
00:52:14,982 --> 00:52:16,721
Yes, I did.
641
00:52:19,953 --> 00:52:22,510
There are currently two scenarios
that could work in our favor.
642
00:52:22,590 --> 00:52:25,064
One, something terrible happens to Turk Enry.
643
00:52:25,144 --> 00:52:28,316
He can't get the money, he can't pay
the ransom, they're stuck with a hostage.
644
00:52:28,396 --> 00:52:32,820
Scenario two... kidnappers
get jumpy, they kill Sheila.
645
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:37,161
Now, I can't control scenario two,
but I can control scenario one.
646
00:52:37,241 --> 00:52:39,027
Oh, yes, yes. I understand.
647
00:52:39,107 --> 00:52:42,329
I'm suggesting that we take out Turk Enry...
648
00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:44,632
...but I need a way to do it and stay safe.
649
00:52:44,712 --> 00:52:49,193
Like how I stay safe from your snake?
I stay far away.
650
00:52:49,883 --> 00:52:51,696
You're a genius, Ramon.
651
00:52:53,119 --> 00:52:54,933
I don't know this word.
652
00:52:56,390 --> 00:53:00,514
That's a red-striped coral snake.
It's more deadly than a cobra.
653
00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:03,651
One drop of its venom
paralyzes every muscle in the body...
654
00:53:03,731 --> 00:53:05,986
...making normal organ function impossible.
655
00:53:06,066 --> 00:53:09,079
This job has become very strange, sir.
656
00:53:11,339 --> 00:53:15,897
Hello. I would like to arrange
a hot tub treatment...
657
00:53:15,977 --> 00:53:18,299
- Jacuzzi. Jacuzzi.
- I got this.
658
00:53:18,379 --> 00:53:22,403
- ...for a very special friend of mine.
- Amigo. Amigo, right?
659
00:53:23,483 --> 00:53:26,574
Yep. Yeah, just say it.
660
00:53:26,654 --> 00:53:30,678
S�. Exacto, un jacuzzi para Turk.
661
00:53:30,758 --> 00:53:33,948
Gracias. S�.
662
00:53:34,028 --> 00:53:35,984
- That's it?
- Yeah.
663
00:53:36,864 --> 00:53:40,512
Here's your towel, sir.
Anything you need, please call me.
664
00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,183
All right.
665
00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:54,392
- Beer?
- Beer! Yes, that's my guy.
666
00:53:55,448 --> 00:53:57,261
Thank you.
667
00:54:15,534 --> 00:54:18,222
Hello, there. Yeah.
668
00:54:36,590 --> 00:54:38,102
No!
669
00:55:02,283 --> 00:55:05,386
Hey! What the fuck?
670
00:55:05,466 --> 00:55:06,998
Hey!
671
00:55:22,352 --> 00:55:24,374
- You are very lucky.
- No. Yeah?
672
00:55:24,454 --> 00:55:25,759
He saved you.
673
00:55:25,839 --> 00:55:29,544
Plus the snake has died from what we
can only assume is alcohol poisoning.
674
00:55:30,844 --> 00:55:32,356
Doc...
675
00:55:33,313 --> 00:55:35,603
...will I be able to have sex again?
676
00:55:36,383 --> 00:55:39,207
No sex for at least three months.
Are you married?
677
00:55:39,287 --> 00:55:43,678
- Yeah, but she has been held hostage.
- Well, that made things easier, right?
678
00:55:43,758 --> 00:55:46,754
- Yeah.
- Mr. Enry. This has...
679
00:55:48,294 --> 00:55:50,741
...this just arrived for you.
680
00:55:52,365 --> 00:55:54,211
Thank you, Ramira.
681
00:55:57,504 --> 00:55:59,010
Mate.
682
00:55:59,590 --> 00:56:01,672
How you doin'?
683
00:56:01,942 --> 00:56:04,265
I can't imagine the pain you're in.
684
00:56:04,345 --> 00:56:06,501
Bitten right on the tip of your jizzpipe.
685
00:56:06,581 --> 00:56:10,324
His dick has been in thousands
of dangerous places. He'll be fine.
686
00:56:10,404 --> 00:56:12,473
You have no idea how he's feeling, love.
687
00:56:12,553 --> 00:56:14,475
It's one of the many advantages
of having a vagina.
688
00:56:14,555 --> 00:56:17,125
It's highly unlikely you're gonna
get bitten on the end of it.
689
00:56:17,205 --> 00:56:19,220
Please stop talking about my poisoned cock.
690
00:56:19,300 --> 00:56:23,217
I had a mate sleeping rough in the bush,
passed out one night, hammered...
691
00:56:23,297 --> 00:56:27,588
...woke up the next morning to
discover a dingo had eaten his ball.
692
00:56:28,068 --> 00:56:30,257
Took it clean off.
693
00:56:30,337 --> 00:56:31,856
Must got a taste for it, too.
694
00:56:31,936 --> 00:56:34,368
Came back the next day, took the other.
695
00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:36,365
Clive.
696
00:56:37,578 --> 00:56:40,867
Right, look, it's all pretty straightforward.
Take the money to the coordinates...
697
00:56:40,947 --> 00:56:42,770
...go alone, seems pretty adamant about that.
698
00:56:42,850 --> 00:56:46,240
We'd better listen to them, you know?
They have already killed twice.
699
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,976
The only danger is gonna be
the drop-off, and I'll handle it.
700
00:56:49,056 --> 00:56:52,814
When we do get the money, the less time we
spend with that in our possession, the better.
701
00:56:52,894 --> 00:56:56,550
All right, you know, it was hard
enough getting the first million.
702
00:56:56,630 --> 00:56:59,186
Did you know they make you count it?
703
00:56:59,266 --> 00:57:03,480
Anyway, we do anything suspicious,
and Harding's gonna be all over us.
704
00:57:11,010 --> 00:57:14,011
What's the matter? Snake got your penis?
705
00:57:16,217 --> 00:57:18,839
- Yeah.
- Just kidding.
706
00:57:18,919 --> 00:57:21,165
I think I'm having an idea.
707
00:57:21,909 --> 00:57:23,338
Yeah.
708
00:57:24,524 --> 00:57:27,081
- This is how we are gonna get the money.
- One million dollars...
709
00:57:27,161 --> 00:57:30,518
First of all... I use my tapped cell phone...
710
00:57:30,598 --> 00:57:35,389
...to arrange the money to be delivered
to the same bank as last time.
711
00:57:35,469 --> 00:57:38,927
Yeah, so then I make a call
on your behalf from a pay phone...
712
00:57:39,007 --> 00:57:41,596
...and arrange for the money
to be sent to a different bank.
713
00:57:41,676 --> 00:57:44,432
Exactly! How tall are you, Clive?
714
00:57:44,512 --> 00:57:46,560
Standard specification sex machine, mate.
715
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,469
Me, too.
716
00:57:48,549 --> 00:57:52,123
Now, I'm gonna wear this
when I go and collect the money.
717
00:57:52,203 --> 00:57:54,576
- That's a bloody beautiful shirt, mate.
- Glad you like it.
718
00:57:54,656 --> 00:57:57,411
Agent Harding will be on our tail.
719
00:57:57,491 --> 00:57:59,313
Follow that car!
720
00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:03,217
So make sure, Turk, you arrive
at the bank ten minutes early...
721
00:58:03,297 --> 00:58:06,654
...giving you time to go into
the bar next door to the bank.
722
00:58:06,934 --> 00:58:10,781
And you bring... this stuff with you.
723
00:58:11,372 --> 00:58:13,150
As per your list.
724
00:58:16,109 --> 00:58:18,933
This salt shaker is me.
725
00:58:19,013 --> 00:58:22,616
These two butter cups are you and Clive.
726
00:58:22,696 --> 00:58:25,573
And this peanut is Ben Harding.
727
00:58:26,053 --> 00:58:29,677
- What's the bottle of beer?
- That's my bottle of beer.
728
00:58:29,757 --> 00:58:32,002
The plan there is I drink it.
729
00:58:33,793 --> 00:58:35,672
It's good.
730
00:58:41,968 --> 00:58:43,998
So Agent Harding is at the bank...
731
00:58:44,078 --> 00:58:46,194
And he needs to be kept there
as long as possible.
732
00:58:46,274 --> 00:58:49,697
Now, since you do a lot
of undercover spy stuff...
733
00:58:49,777 --> 00:58:53,080
...I am assuming you have
a collection of various disguises.
734
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:57,538
Disguises, got the lot.
What do you want? Beards or gums?
735
00:58:57,618 --> 00:59:00,470
Ball caps? Spectacles? Testicles?
736
00:59:00,550 --> 00:59:03,376
You can disguise a man's a testicles?
737
00:59:03,456 --> 00:59:06,337
Sure. A man's own testicles
can be a real giveaway.
738
00:59:06,417 --> 00:59:10,100
- Really?
- Sorry, where do you buy fake testicles?
739
00:59:10,180 --> 00:59:11,758
Amazon.
740
00:59:21,708 --> 00:59:24,485
G'day, Agent Harding. Where you goin'?
741
00:59:25,245 --> 00:59:28,102
- Where is he?
- Is what he'll probably say.
742
00:59:28,182 --> 00:59:31,428
I don't know who you're talkin' about, sir!
743
00:59:32,386 --> 00:59:35,299
Marybeth, keep an eye on Harding.
744
00:59:35,379 --> 00:59:37,345
And let me know when he's heading my way.
745
00:59:37,425 --> 00:59:41,882
He'll be there in eight minutes.
Repeat, eight minutes.
746
00:59:41,962 --> 00:59:45,353
Over and out. Bye.
747
00:59:45,733 --> 00:59:48,122
There's only one other bank
that can handle that kind of cash.
748
00:59:48,202 --> 00:59:50,558
It's not gonna take them long
to work out where you are.
749
00:59:50,638 --> 00:59:53,193
Right on. I just have to be quick.
750
00:59:53,273 --> 00:59:55,134
All right, guys.
751
00:59:55,976 --> 00:59:58,799
$1 million, right here.
752
00:59:59,179 --> 01:00:01,001
And back here.
753
01:00:01,081 --> 01:00:05,005
Rock 'n roll, man! Very good.
That was awesome. Awesome.
754
01:00:05,725 --> 01:00:07,601
Damn it!
755
01:00:21,834 --> 01:00:24,812
And that's how we steal a million dollars.
756
01:00:24,892 --> 01:00:28,045
But we're not stealing it.
It's already yours.
757
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:32,132
Fine! You know, that's how we
make a withdrawal from a bank.
758
01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:33,933
It doesn't sound as good.
759
01:00:34,013 --> 01:00:38,386
Then I do the drop, you get
your wife back, we're all set. Simple.
760
01:00:38,466 --> 01:00:39,940
I know exactly where he's going.
761
01:00:40,020 --> 01:00:43,411
There's no way this idiot had more
than one new idea in a week.
762
01:00:43,491 --> 01:00:47,086
To the El Amor bar and brothel.
There's an extra 20 U.S. cash dollars...
763
01:00:47,166 --> 01:00:49,010
...if you know a shortcut.
764
01:00:53,232 --> 01:00:55,912
Hey, dingo! Come on!
765
01:01:04,110 --> 01:01:05,624
Yeah!
766
01:01:15,923 --> 01:01:19,548
- Honey, honey, honey.
- One more time. I will give you for free.
767
01:01:19,628 --> 01:01:21,482
- Just one more time. Por favor.
- I can't.
768
01:01:21,562 --> 01:01:24,321
Five's my limit.
I've got no more fluid left in me.
769
01:01:24,401 --> 01:01:27,602
And I might have got...
myself a little bit off track!
770
01:01:42,014 --> 01:01:45,105
Hey, have you seen a little girl?
Solid eight out of ten? She was...
771
01:01:45,185 --> 01:01:47,407
- Clive Muggleton.
- Shit.
772
01:01:47,487 --> 01:01:51,168
I thought I told you to get off of this case.
773
01:02:44,744 --> 01:02:46,590
Good morning.
774
01:02:57,590 --> 01:02:59,462
I've got disease!
775
01:03:20,479 --> 01:03:23,527
American government! Get out of my way!
776
01:03:39,333 --> 01:03:41,912
What are you doing? You're a federal agent!
777
01:03:51,244 --> 01:03:52,790
Fuck!
778
01:03:54,381 --> 01:03:57,187
What's wrong? Allergic to shellfish?
779
01:03:57,517 --> 01:04:00,397
As a matter of fact, I am.
780
01:04:01,022 --> 01:04:04,001
It's tight. You bastard!
781
01:04:31,451 --> 01:04:34,731
How about some shrimp on the Barbie?
782
01:04:35,255 --> 01:04:38,512
How's that taste? How about some octopus?
783
01:04:38,592 --> 01:04:42,238
You got that on the Great Barrier Reef?
784
01:05:02,582 --> 01:05:04,461
Oh, my God!
785
01:05:10,156 --> 01:05:11,968
It's time.
786
01:05:12,526 --> 01:05:13,981
- You ready?
- Yeah.
787
01:05:14,061 --> 01:05:15,905
Let's go.
788
01:05:35,181 --> 01:05:37,195
Are you okay, Marybeth?
789
01:05:39,753 --> 01:05:41,608
Deep breaths, Marybeth.
790
01:05:42,688 --> 01:05:44,534
Deep breaths.
791
01:05:45,825 --> 01:05:48,615
I mean, I thought he was a douchebag...
792
01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:53,500
...but he was the kind of douchebag
that always said nice things about my bum.
793
01:05:53,580 --> 01:05:56,023
That's a hell of a eulogy.
794
01:05:56,803 --> 01:05:58,825
What do we do now?
795
01:05:58,905 --> 01:06:02,161
Well, I guess I'll make the drop.
796
01:06:02,241 --> 01:06:03,480
I'll have to do it.
797
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:06,434
But you... but you'd need to take a boat...
798
01:06:06,514 --> 01:06:10,237
- ...and find the right location.
- Well, I'll be fine.
799
01:06:10,317 --> 01:06:12,129
Let's see where I'm going.
800
01:06:13,419 --> 01:06:18,578
All right. All I have to do is just take
a boat and go from this dot thing...
801
01:06:18,658 --> 01:06:24,139
...through this tunnel thing
and meet this thing that looks like a...
802
01:06:24,631 --> 01:06:26,209
...dildo.
803
01:06:32,870 --> 01:06:35,452
Thanks for the suitcase. It was...
804
01:06:38,110 --> 01:06:40,768
Do you think I can do this?
805
01:06:40,848 --> 01:06:42,470
- I know you can, Turk.
- Yeah?
806
01:06:42,550 --> 01:06:44,965
Yeah. Go get your wife.
807
01:06:45,045 --> 01:06:46,503
Yeah.
808
01:06:46,583 --> 01:06:48,231
All right.
809
01:06:51,924 --> 01:06:55,772
Hey, kid. Are you all right?
810
01:06:58,163 --> 01:07:01,012
- Beer.
- No.
811
01:07:01,092 --> 01:07:02,979
It's not the time.
812
01:07:06,505 --> 01:07:08,728
Maybe just one for the road.
813
01:07:10,308 --> 01:07:12,726
Make it two. Yep.
814
01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:14,868
Very good.
815
01:07:33,466 --> 01:07:35,509
No harm will come to you...
816
01:07:35,589 --> 01:07:37,882
...as long as your husband cooperates.
817
01:07:39,706 --> 01:07:42,329
My life is in the hands of my husband?
818
01:07:42,909 --> 01:07:45,989
- Yes.
- It was nice knowing you.
819
01:07:49,280 --> 01:07:53,440
He once wrote a self-help manual
entitled Bark Yourself Happy.
820
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:56,310
It was based on the idea that, and I quote...
821
01:07:56,390 --> 01:07:58,371
"...Dogs don't get depressed."
822
01:07:58,451 --> 01:08:01,191
Surely your husband is a capable man.
823
01:08:04,830 --> 01:08:06,163
Shit!
824
01:08:12,939 --> 01:08:14,495
Clive!
825
01:08:14,675 --> 01:08:16,429
Clive!
826
01:08:16,509 --> 01:08:19,049
Calm down, love. No time for a stiffy.
827
01:08:19,129 --> 01:08:21,764
- Clive, you were... you were dead!
- Yeah.
828
01:08:21,844 --> 01:08:25,283
- What's wrong with your neck?
- Harding tried to break it.
829
01:08:29,063 --> 01:08:30,567
I faked it.
830
01:08:32,192 --> 01:08:35,505
- And your eyes?
- Forced entry by shrimp.
831
01:08:36,163 --> 01:08:39,152
Hold on. So when I...
when I found you, you were alive?
832
01:08:39,232 --> 01:08:43,022
Yeah. Sorry, love. You were leaning right
over me. I could see straight down your top.
833
01:08:43,102 --> 01:08:44,680
Couldn't bear to end it.
834
01:08:45,809 --> 01:08:47,928
Crikey. Yeah, where's Turk?
835
01:08:48,028 --> 01:08:49,701
Oh, he's there.
836
01:08:52,479 --> 01:08:54,390
Oh, he's out of his depth.
837
01:08:54,470 --> 01:08:56,726
Physically and metaphorically.
838
01:08:59,051 --> 01:09:03,210
Well, what are you gonna do?
Swim? You can't turn your head.
839
01:09:03,290 --> 01:09:06,173
This one's for love. Also money.
840
01:09:06,253 --> 01:09:08,939
All right. I'll need a pursuit vehicle.
841
01:09:10,564 --> 01:09:11,885
Coming with you.
842
01:09:11,965 --> 01:09:14,955
Tactical combat suit, medium, check.
843
01:09:15,035 --> 01:09:18,125
Gun, check. Camouflage paint, check.
844
01:09:18,205 --> 01:09:22,722
GPS, check. Grenade, check. Power bar, check.
845
01:09:23,142 --> 01:09:24,654
Okay.
846
01:09:32,952 --> 01:09:36,432
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
847
01:09:53,371 --> 01:09:54,801
There you are.
848
01:10:10,322 --> 01:10:12,135
All right.
849
01:10:13,342 --> 01:10:14,905
Okay.
850
01:10:18,264 --> 01:10:21,712
Sheila! I'm coming for you!
851
01:10:23,835 --> 01:10:27,624
- Can you see him?
- All I can see is top left sky.
852
01:10:51,797 --> 01:10:55,078
The dildo. I mean, the statue.
853
01:11:16,041 --> 01:11:18,405
We have got a slight problem.
854
01:11:21,126 --> 01:11:22,972
Goddamn it.
855
01:11:27,299 --> 01:11:29,913
I am Turk Enry!
856
01:11:30,803 --> 01:11:36,163
I brought the money!
It's in this horrible suitcase!
857
01:11:36,243 --> 01:11:38,722
This suitcase doesn't belong to me.
858
01:11:44,516 --> 01:11:47,196
Hello, kidnappers!
859
01:11:48,621 --> 01:11:50,200
Hello?
860
01:11:55,361 --> 01:11:56,616
You?
861
01:11:56,696 --> 01:12:00,860
You couldn't do what you were told, could ya?
All you had to do was nothing...
862
01:12:00,940 --> 01:12:03,356
...and you couldn't even do that.
863
01:12:03,766 --> 01:12:06,850
You can't kill me. I am English.
864
01:12:07,473 --> 01:12:11,965
Part Spanish and technically Chilean,
and I live in Malibu.
865
01:12:12,045 --> 01:12:13,500
It's all very confusing, man.
866
01:12:13,580 --> 01:12:15,962
Why didn't you just give me
the million dollars and walk away?
867
01:12:16,042 --> 01:12:19,930
Because it's not about the money!
It's about my wife!
868
01:12:22,155 --> 01:12:23,833
God!
869
01:12:25,223 --> 01:12:27,636
Shit, shit! Shit!
870
01:12:28,227 --> 01:12:31,084
You don't deserve
any of this stuff that you got.
871
01:12:31,164 --> 01:12:33,226
You were in a has-been rock band.
872
01:12:33,306 --> 01:12:37,580
You play the bass.
It's only got four strings.
873
01:12:44,542 --> 01:12:46,799
God! My head!
874
01:12:46,879 --> 01:12:48,691
Have a beer!
875
01:12:56,422 --> 01:12:59,278
The bass is the heartbeat of a band.
876
01:12:59,358 --> 01:13:02,314
- Stay there!
- G'day, Turk.
877
01:13:02,404 --> 01:13:05,518
- You're dead, man! You're dead!
- You shouldn't be dealing with this.
878
01:13:05,598 --> 01:13:08,024
- I'll take it from here.
- Shit! Just hide!
879
01:13:08,104 --> 01:13:10,487
Go! Both of you! Out!
880
01:13:15,107 --> 01:13:18,698
I hope they didn't see us.
Have you got an eye on Turk?
881
01:13:18,778 --> 01:13:21,067
Well, that seems to be one benefit
of this neck situation.
882
01:13:21,147 --> 01:13:23,393
I can see perfectly around corners.
883
01:13:26,918 --> 01:13:28,793
Good afternoon.
884
01:13:29,808 --> 01:13:31,266
Hi.
885
01:13:32,826 --> 01:13:36,183
Hey, you were supposed to come alone, man!
886
01:13:36,263 --> 01:13:41,678
I was trying to, but other than
these two, I am completely alone.
887
01:13:43,356 --> 01:13:45,302
And him. I forgot about him.
888
01:13:45,382 --> 01:13:48,848
And my M204 A5 hand grenade.
889
01:14:04,624 --> 01:14:06,502
Damn it!
890
01:14:09,728 --> 01:14:11,701
- Shit!
- Get down!
891
01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:24,520
Oh, yeah, the neck.
892
01:14:25,645 --> 01:14:27,856
Yeah. That's a bit grubby.
893
01:14:30,716 --> 01:14:33,730
Goodbye, Ben Harding. I'm sorry.
894
01:14:35,387 --> 01:14:39,562
- Mr. Enry, may I ask you a question?
- Sure.
895
01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:41,982
Do you think Metal Assassin
will get back together?
896
01:14:42,062 --> 01:14:46,085
I don't think so.
Besides, I have other projects.
897
01:14:46,165 --> 01:14:49,779
No, wait, wait, wait. So you're going solo?
898
01:14:50,602 --> 01:14:52,662
I am trying to, yeah, yeah, yeah.
899
01:14:52,742 --> 01:14:56,363
You're a true artist.
You will find your new voice.
900
01:14:56,443 --> 01:15:00,266
Just listen to what is in your heart.
901
01:15:00,346 --> 01:15:03,559
- It will tell you.
- Yeah.
902
01:15:11,389 --> 01:15:13,202
I miss my wife.
903
01:15:16,962 --> 01:15:20,020
Probably I miss her more than she misses me.
904
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:24,521
She's the most important thing in my life.
905
01:15:24,601 --> 01:15:26,527
She's the glue that...
906
01:15:26,607 --> 01:15:30,666
...puts together all the pieces
of the person that is...
907
01:15:31,164 --> 01:15:32,693
...me.
908
01:15:33,245 --> 01:15:35,565
And I need to tell her that.
909
01:15:35,645 --> 01:15:39,806
So that's why you...
you have to give her back to me.
910
01:15:40,586 --> 01:15:42,842
I love Sheila.
911
01:15:42,922 --> 01:15:45,000
And Sheila loves you.
912
01:15:50,329 --> 01:15:52,175
Oh, God.
913
01:15:55,233 --> 01:15:57,390
Pay no heed to my erection.
914
01:15:57,470 --> 01:16:00,683
I am a sex addict, but not homosexual.
915
01:16:02,141 --> 01:16:04,353
Let's just...
916
01:16:05,644 --> 01:16:07,156
...go.
917
01:16:25,647 --> 01:16:27,176
Baby.
918
01:16:32,307 --> 01:16:34,117
Are you okay?
919
01:16:34,807 --> 01:16:36,686
I'm fine.
920
01:16:37,976 --> 01:16:40,633
You know I may be an idiot, but...
921
01:16:41,413 --> 01:16:44,838
...I know that fine is never fine.
922
01:16:45,818 --> 01:16:48,064
Why should I go with you?
923
01:16:48,854 --> 01:16:51,991
Well, I... I don't know.
924
01:16:52,071 --> 01:16:55,581
- Because I love you.
- Love me?
925
01:16:55,662 --> 01:16:57,451
- Love me?
- Yes.
926
01:16:57,531 --> 01:17:00,400
You can barely stand to be around me
since Metal Assassin broke up.
927
01:17:00,480 --> 01:17:02,956
- What? No.
- You don't need me.
928
01:17:03,036 --> 01:17:05,458
You think I don't need you?
929
01:17:05,538 --> 01:17:07,427
Are you kidding?
930
01:17:08,407 --> 01:17:11,531
I can't do anything without you. I'm a mess.
931
01:17:11,611 --> 01:17:16,502
All I've done is to think about
what a total asshole I have been.
932
01:17:16,582 --> 01:17:18,508
I wrote a song!
933
01:17:21,620 --> 01:17:24,377
You haven't been able to write
since the band broke up.
934
01:17:24,457 --> 01:17:26,947
I wrote a song for you.
935
01:17:28,327 --> 01:17:30,156
Prove it.
936
01:17:30,236 --> 01:17:33,887
- Like... like, right here? Now in...
- Yes, right here! Right here!
937
01:17:33,967 --> 01:17:38,391
- If you can't make a single gesture, then I...
- Goddamn it! Okay. I'll prove it.
938
01:17:38,471 --> 01:17:40,166
All right?
939
01:17:40,246 --> 01:17:41,743
Muchacho, I need...
940
01:17:51,583 --> 01:17:53,196
Ridiculous.
941
01:17:54,886 --> 01:17:56,292
All right.
942
01:19:07,292 --> 01:19:10,950
It's just the chorus, but it's a start.
943
01:19:12,130 --> 01:19:14,543
- It's a start.
- Yeah.
944
01:19:16,134 --> 01:19:19,960
I feel like we are having a moment here...
945
01:19:20,740 --> 01:19:24,387
...but I have some news about my penis.
946
01:19:29,669 --> 01:19:33,973
I've had $2.5 million vacations
with fatalities before...
947
01:19:34,053 --> 01:19:38,031
...but goddamn, this one was
interesting, you know? Hey, Ramira.
948
01:19:38,111 --> 01:19:43,453
We are gonna need... a couple
of in-room massages and tons of beer.
949
01:19:44,396 --> 01:19:46,352
Un momento. Let me check her schedule.
950
01:19:46,432 --> 01:19:48,988
All I need is a hot shower
with no one watching.
951
01:19:49,068 --> 01:19:52,481
All I need is you, baby.
952
01:19:53,306 --> 01:19:57,531
And oysters, caviar, and champagne. Yeah.
953
01:19:57,611 --> 01:20:00,634
I don't need money.
I don't need fame. I don't need John.
954
01:20:00,714 --> 01:20:03,136
I'm sorry. We can't make
any more charges to your room.
955
01:20:03,216 --> 01:20:04,994
Your accounts have been frozen.
956
01:20:05,074 --> 01:20:09,099
Marybeth, can you find John for me, please?
957
01:20:23,068 --> 01:20:25,669
Bad news. John is gone.
958
01:20:25,749 --> 01:20:29,562
He's drained four of his clients'
bank accounts and disappeared.
959
01:20:30,442 --> 01:20:31,698
Shit.
960
01:20:31,778 --> 01:20:34,494
What, does that mean I don't get paid?
961
01:20:35,514 --> 01:20:37,732
- No.
- Crap.
962
01:20:37,812 --> 01:20:41,130
I just... I just want to go home.
963
01:20:41,210 --> 01:20:45,501
Hold on, Turk. Who exactly
has been paying your mortgage?
964
01:20:47,059 --> 01:20:48,608
Sheila!
965
01:21:12,349 --> 01:21:14,807
- Just use your phone, baby.
- No way.
966
01:21:14,887 --> 01:21:17,810
I want this to be like my old touring days.
967
01:21:17,890 --> 01:21:20,887
Besides, the data is just too expensive.
968
01:21:20,967 --> 01:21:22,415
Okay.
969
01:21:22,495 --> 01:21:26,176
From now on, I'm going to be your CGI.
970
01:21:27,066 --> 01:21:30,322
It's not CGI. It's GPS.
971
01:21:30,402 --> 01:21:32,415
Yeah. Well, that too.
972
01:21:37,776 --> 01:21:41,107
And now something from my new album!
973
01:21:41,187 --> 01:21:45,789
I wrote this song
in a very hard time of my life.
974
01:21:52,891 --> 01:21:55,081
I was alone and scared...
975
01:21:55,161 --> 01:21:58,475
...and then I lost the most
important thing in my life...
976
01:22:00,432 --> 01:22:02,946
...the use of my penis.
977
01:23:23,449 --> 01:23:26,262
And so it begins.
978
01:23:29,386 --> 01:23:30,900
Thanks.
979
01:23:39,497 --> 01:23:41,088
No.
980
01:23:42,168 --> 01:23:44,981
No one is gonna find me here.
981
01:23:48,239 --> 01:23:51,287
Well, this is very nice.
982
01:24:05,790 --> 01:24:09,615
Careful when tacking.
The boom is always on the move.
983
01:24:09,695 --> 01:24:11,507
S�, captain.
984
01:26:45,776 --> 01:26:47,362
Baby.
985
01:26:49,587 --> 01:26:53,045
Have I ever been to India?
986
01:26:53,125 --> 01:26:56,769
- No. Not India. No.
- No?
987
01:26:56,849 --> 01:27:00,910
I just had a Bollywood experience.
988
01:27:04,201 --> 01:27:06,048
We can go now.
989
01:27:10,141 --> 01:27:11,964
Sheila is right.
990
01:27:12,744 --> 01:27:16,359
These dolphins should not be caged.
991
01:27:17,882 --> 01:27:19,548
Dolphins!
992
01:27:19,628 --> 01:27:22,074
Come, dolphins. Come.
993
01:27:24,254 --> 01:27:27,179
Swim free, sweet dolphins.
994
01:27:27,259 --> 01:27:31,551
Such beautiful and gentle creatures.
995
01:27:32,231 --> 01:27:34,309
Peace and love.
996
01:27:37,969 --> 01:27:40,015
Time for a power bar.
997
01:27:54,086 --> 01:27:56,242
Back off! Please, God!
998
01:27:56,322 --> 01:27:59,748
Stop! Mine! This is my power bar!
999
01:28:00,959 --> 01:28:03,449
You fuckin'... go, get off!
1000
01:28:04,629 --> 01:28:06,875
I will mace you!
1001
01:28:23,047 --> 01:28:25,727
Oh, God! It's got doll's eyes!
1002
01:29:16,568 --> 01:29:20,816
Yeah, that's about it.
It's a beautiful place?
1003
01:29:21,674 --> 01:29:23,996
Oh, and I don't know
if you read up on this place...
1004
01:29:24,076 --> 01:29:26,899
...but it used to belong
to some kind of rock star.
1005
01:29:26,979 --> 01:29:29,135
You know what? I love it.
1006
01:29:29,215 --> 01:29:32,271
- Congratulations, Mr...
- My name is Ramon.
1007
01:29:32,351 --> 01:29:34,372
And what did you say you do?
1008
01:29:34,452 --> 01:29:38,310
I have a dosa cart.
Well, I used to have a dosa cart.
1009
01:29:38,390 --> 01:29:41,791
Now I have 3,000 dosa carts.
1010
01:29:42,794 --> 01:29:45,905
Yep. Things are looking up.
1011
01:29:50,703 --> 01:29:53,659
Well, if it isn't my favorite chica caliente!
1012
01:29:53,739 --> 01:29:57,463
I'm going to assume that's offensive.
Listen, Clive, what's the news on John?
1013
01:29:57,543 --> 01:29:59,231
- He got away.
- He got away?
1014
01:29:59,311 --> 01:30:02,701
We used the wrong kind of snake. Turns
out all it did was make his dingle grow.
1015
01:30:02,781 --> 01:30:06,272
He should send me a thank you card.
Anyhow, John's on the move.
1016
01:30:06,352 --> 01:30:08,807
- The sparrow is in the sky.
- What?
1017
01:30:08,887 --> 01:30:10,743
He's hired a private jet. He's outta here.
1018
01:30:10,823 --> 01:30:13,012
- So we've lost him?
- Maybe not.
1019
01:30:13,092 --> 01:30:18,283
Turns out masculine Harmony have a large
and extremely bad-tempered second cousin.
1020
01:30:18,363 --> 01:30:20,419
- Nice fella. Russian.
- So?
1021
01:30:20,499 --> 01:30:22,857
- You know what the second cousin does?
- Surprise me.
1022
01:30:22,937 --> 01:30:25,013
He charters out a private jet.
1023
01:30:37,081 --> 01:30:39,302
Shouldn't you be flying the plane?
1024
01:30:40,785 --> 01:30:42,208
- I won't fight you.
- Why not?
1025
01:30:42,288 --> 01:30:44,386
Because I'm no good at fighting.
1026
01:31:05,342 --> 01:31:07,189
English man.
1027
01:31:07,578 --> 01:31:09,091
Hey!
1028
01:31:31,176 --> 01:31:33,859
When it comes to umbrellas, my friend...
1029
01:31:33,939 --> 01:31:36,518
...never fuck with an Englishman.
81703
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