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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,533 --> 00:00:07,835
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,886 --> 00:00:11,305
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,372 --> 00:00:14,258
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,342 --> 00:00:17,878
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,929 --> 00:00:21,065
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,132 --> 00:00:22,299
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:23,617
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:23,685 --> 00:00:25,886
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:25,937 --> 00:00:29,937
# Family Guy 10x17 #
Forget-Me-Not
Original Air Date on March 18, 2012
11
00:00:29,962 --> 00:00:33,962
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,023
All right, see
you guys later.
13
00:00:37,024 --> 00:00:38,741
Me and Brian are
going to play laser tag
14
00:00:38,809 --> 00:00:39,759
with Joe and Quagmire.
15
00:00:39,827 --> 00:00:41,010
What?! No, you're not.
16
00:00:41,078 --> 00:00:42,578
Tonight's our family night.
17
00:00:42,646 --> 00:00:44,814
We agreed that every Sunday,
we'd do something together.
18
00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:47,283
What?
19
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:48,918
Oh, nothing. I was just
clearing my throat.
20
00:00:48,986 --> 00:00:50,787
Good. I thought you were
going to say something.
21
00:00:50,854 --> 00:00:52,605
But, Lois, we
already made plans.
22
00:00:52,673 --> 00:00:54,123
Yeah, I can't leave
those guys alone.
23
00:00:54,191 --> 00:00:56,359
Last time they hung out
without me was a disaster.
24
00:00:56,427 --> 00:00:58,194
All right, movie night.
25
00:00:58,262 --> 00:01:00,663
I am so psyched
for Reindeer Games!
26
00:01:00,731 --> 00:01:02,899
What, I thought we
were watching La Vie En Rose.
27
00:01:02,966 --> 00:01:04,917
What do you mean,
Reindeer Games is great!
28
00:01:04,985 --> 00:01:08,054
Everything goes wrong on the one
day it has to go right.
29
00:01:08,122 --> 00:01:09,889
But La Vie En Rose
is a beautiful movie
30
00:01:09,957 --> 00:01:12,158
about the real life tragedy
of Edith Piaf.
31
00:01:12,226 --> 00:01:13,743
Usually Peter would
break the tie.
32
00:01:13,811 --> 00:01:15,128
Well, Peter
isn't here, is he?!
33
00:01:15,195 --> 00:01:16,863
Because you were
supposed to be watching him,
34
00:01:16,930 --> 00:01:19,032
but you were smoking
marijuana and he drowned!
35
00:01:19,099 --> 00:01:21,000
What? No, he's at
a PTA meeting.
36
00:01:21,068 --> 00:01:22,785
Where the hell
did you get that story?
37
00:01:22,853 --> 00:01:25,288
I don't know! I just can't stand
it when he's not here!
38
00:01:25,356 --> 00:01:27,040
Peter, you've got
every other night of the week
39
00:01:27,107 --> 00:01:28,408
to spend with your buddies.
40
00:01:28,475 --> 00:01:30,977
This is the one night
we've set aside for our family.
41
00:01:31,045 --> 00:01:32,845
Is that really
too much to ask?
44
00:01:36,016 --> 00:01:38,551
I wanna show you a freckle on my
sack that I'm concerned about.
45
00:01:38,619 --> 00:01:39,769
It has irregular edges.
46
00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:43,467
Peter,
what are you doing?
47
00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:44,907
I'm not goin' to Family Night.
48
00:01:44,975 --> 00:01:47,110
My agreeing with Lois
was just pure theater.
49
00:01:47,177 --> 00:01:48,544
Come on, we're
jumping off the roof.
50
00:01:48,612 --> 00:01:50,113
Are you insane?!
We'll kill ourselves!
51
00:01:50,180 --> 00:01:51,481
Don't worry, we can fly.
52
00:01:51,548 --> 00:01:53,516
I got this pixie dust
from a magic fairy.
53
00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:54,884
Either that or it's speed
54
00:01:54,952 --> 00:01:56,652
I got from a transvestite
at a diner.
55
00:01:58,822 --> 00:02:00,923
It's the speed!
It's the speed from the diner!
56
00:02:00,991 --> 00:02:02,191
Peter, let go of me!
57
00:02:02,259 --> 00:02:03,776
Damn it!
58
00:02:05,929 --> 00:02:08,064
So what are we gonna do
for Family Night?
59
00:02:08,132 --> 00:02:10,700
Oh, would you shut up?
All the good people are gone.
60
00:02:14,338 --> 00:02:17,807
Hey!
Welcome to Quahog Laser Tag.
61
00:02:17,875 --> 00:02:19,776
Please pay attention
while I show y'all
62
00:02:19,843 --> 00:02:21,544
how to put on y'all's vests.
63
00:02:21,612 --> 00:02:23,246
Sir, can I use you
to demonstrate?
64
00:02:23,313 --> 00:02:25,515
Thank you, I have
longed for your attention
65
00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:27,316
since the moment I arrived.
66
00:02:27,384 --> 00:02:29,752
Now, put this on
over your shoulders.
67
00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:31,053
Good.
68
00:02:31,121 --> 00:02:32,722
Now, I'm gonna need
you to squats down
69
00:02:32,790 --> 00:02:34,223
like your underwears
is done for,
70
00:02:34,291 --> 00:02:36,058
but you might still
save the jeans.
71
00:02:39,446 --> 00:02:42,432
Now, you's gonna wanna latch the
front to the back like so...
72
00:02:42,499 --> 00:02:44,167
Did everybody get that?
73
00:02:44,234 --> 00:02:46,719
Boy, a lot of heat
comes off you, don't it?
74
00:02:49,890 --> 00:02:52,225
All right, keep an
eye out for Peter.
75
00:02:52,292 --> 00:02:55,294
He's oddly competitive
at this stuff.
76
00:02:55,345 --> 00:02:59,015
Yeah, and he seems to be weirdly
physically fit at this place.
77
00:02:59,099 --> 00:03:00,683
Yeah, it's almost like he has
78
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:03,102
unrealistic abilities
when we play laser tag.
79
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:07,740
All right, well, if we just
stick together, then...
80
00:03:07,807 --> 00:03:08,858
Zap! Zap! Zap!
81
00:03:08,942 --> 00:03:09,942
What the...
No way!
82
00:03:09,993 --> 00:03:10,960
How'd you learn
to do that?
83
00:03:11,028 --> 00:03:12,962
The question isn't how I do it.
84
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:16,399
It's how I forgive myself
for what I've done.
85
00:03:17,835 --> 00:03:20,086
Yeah, winner!
Right here!
86
00:03:20,153 --> 00:03:21,587
All right, pal,
what do I get?
87
00:03:21,655 --> 00:03:23,456
Well, for five dollars,
you could get
88
00:03:23,524 --> 00:03:26,025
your picture in a fake newspaper
with a humorous headline.
89
00:03:28,795 --> 00:03:30,696
Wow, my picture
in the paper.
90
00:03:30,764 --> 00:03:32,298
I didn't even
get that when
91
00:03:32,366 --> 00:03:34,033
I brought that kitten
and gorilla together.
92
00:03:34,101 --> 00:03:36,269
Huh?
Did I tell ya, Lois?
93
00:03:36,336 --> 00:03:38,337
Oh, that's beautiful, Peter.
94
00:03:38,405 --> 00:03:41,007
She's taking care of that
kitten like it's her own.
95
00:03:41,074 --> 00:03:43,509
Yep, I knew eventually she'd
stop tearin' 'em in half.
96
00:03:48,181 --> 00:03:49,832
There you two are!
97
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:51,701
We waited for you
for four hours!
98
00:03:51,768 --> 00:03:52,902
Where the hell
have you been?!
99
00:03:52,970 --> 00:03:54,453
Look, Lois,
I know you're mad,
100
00:03:54,521 --> 00:03:56,855
but I think this will prove
that I did the right thing.
101
00:03:56,907 --> 00:03:59,725
I put our family
on the map tonight.
102
00:03:59,793 --> 00:04:02,695
No longer will we be
just those faceless nobodies
103
00:04:02,763 --> 00:04:04,330
who brought the bird flu
to Quahog.
104
00:04:04,398 --> 00:04:06,465
You know, there's something
seriously wrong with a man
105
00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:08,501
who always puts
his friends over his family.
106
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:10,219
Come on, Lois, I think
you're overreacting.
107
00:04:10,287 --> 00:04:12,588
What's so wrong about a guy
hanging out with his buddies?
108
00:04:12,673 --> 00:04:14,724
Buddies?
You're one of his buddies?
109
00:04:14,808 --> 00:04:15,858
Yeah. And you know why?
110
00:04:15,926 --> 00:04:17,026
'Cause I don't try to tell him
111
00:04:17,094 --> 00:04:18,060
what he can and can't do.
112
00:04:18,128 --> 00:04:19,762
Oh, please, Brian.
113
00:04:19,830 --> 00:04:22,081
You're just two people
who live in the same house.
114
00:04:22,149 --> 00:04:23,583
If you didn't,
you'd never hang out
115
00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:25,151
with each other
in a million years.
116
00:04:25,219 --> 00:04:27,286
He owns you.
You're his property.
117
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,021
He used to hang you
in the garage
118
00:04:29,089 --> 00:04:30,756
so his fender
wouldn't hit the wall.
119
00:04:30,824 --> 00:04:33,876
You're there.
120
00:04:33,944 --> 00:04:35,878
You're there!
121
00:04:35,946 --> 00:04:38,014
I couldn't hear you.
The radio was too loud.
122
00:04:40,817 --> 00:04:43,035
I'm going to bed.
123
00:04:43,086 --> 00:04:44,754
You know,
Lois is right, Brian.
124
00:04:44,821 --> 00:04:46,772
You think you're Peter's pal,
but you're really not.
125
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,424
You're just his dog.
126
00:04:48,492 --> 00:04:50,326
Well, that's where
you're wrong. Watch this.
127
00:04:50,394 --> 00:04:52,128
Hey, Peter, you want
to go hit the Clam?
128
00:04:52,212 --> 00:04:53,763
Nah, there's no way
she's in the mood.
129
00:04:53,847 --> 00:04:55,631
Let's just go to the bar.
Sounds good.
130
00:04:55,716 --> 00:04:58,083
Headin' to the bar
with my friend, Peter.
131
00:04:58,135 --> 00:04:59,468
You're lying
to yourself, Brian.
132
00:04:59,536 --> 00:05:01,070
Like those girls who insist
133
00:05:01,138 --> 00:05:02,838
their best friends
are attractive.
134
00:05:02,906 --> 00:05:05,474
Oh, Stewie, I can't wait for
you to meet my best friend.
135
00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:06,742
She is so cute.
136
00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:08,210
Yeah, she sounds awesome.
137
00:05:08,278 --> 00:05:09,979
Oh, my God, yeah.
People ask her
138
00:05:10,047 --> 00:05:11,480
if she's a model
all the time.
139
00:05:11,548 --> 00:05:13,132
Here she comes!
140
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,968
Okay, okay,
141
00:05:16,036 --> 00:05:17,336
that was an extreme example,
142
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:20,373
but face it, ladies,
your best friends are not hot.
143
00:05:24,494 --> 00:05:27,246
Uh, Peter, your seat belt
back here doesn't work right.
144
00:05:27,297 --> 00:05:29,332
What's gonna happen to you
that hasn't already happened?
145
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,716
Peter, look out
for that car!
146
00:05:32,552 --> 00:05:33,586
That's not a car.
147
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:34,804
What is that?!
148
00:05:48,819 --> 00:05:51,187
Hello?
149
00:05:54,057 --> 00:05:55,891
Hello?
150
00:05:57,027 --> 00:05:58,327
Anybody here?
151
00:06:02,265 --> 00:06:03,366
Hey.
152
00:06:03,433 --> 00:06:04,800
Hey.
153
00:06:04,868 --> 00:06:06,152
Do you work here?
154
00:06:06,219 --> 00:06:08,471
I don't know.
Doesn't look like it.
155
00:06:08,538 --> 00:06:09,955
Who are you?
156
00:06:10,023 --> 00:06:12,875
I... I don't know.
I-I just woke up here.
157
00:06:12,943 --> 00:06:14,944
I seem to be
a heavyset fellow.
158
00:06:15,012 --> 00:06:17,162
You do.
159
00:06:17,214 --> 00:06:18,781
Thank God someone
else is here.
160
00:06:18,849 --> 00:06:21,017
You two seem to be the only
ones in this hospital.
161
00:06:21,101 --> 00:06:22,601
No, I'm here, too.
162
00:06:22,669 --> 00:06:24,503
Any of you guys
know what's going on?
163
00:06:24,571 --> 00:06:26,639
I just woke up in
one of these rooms.
164
00:06:26,707 --> 00:06:28,774
I have no idea
how I got here.
165
00:06:28,842 --> 00:06:30,609
I don't even
know who I am.
166
00:06:30,677 --> 00:06:33,612
All I know is,
I'm extremely important
167
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,915
because there are drawings of me
on all the bathroom doors.
168
00:06:35,982 --> 00:06:37,667
See?
169
00:06:37,734 --> 00:06:41,003
It's glued on there, too, so I'm
pretty sure it's permanent.
170
00:06:41,071 --> 00:06:42,271
This is really weird.
171
00:06:42,339 --> 00:06:44,073
We seem perfectly coherent,
172
00:06:44,141 --> 00:06:45,908
it's just we can't
remember who we are.
173
00:06:45,976 --> 00:06:47,810
It's like our identities
have been
174
00:06:47,878 --> 00:06:49,145
wiped out somehow.
175
00:06:49,212 --> 00:06:50,880
Maybe we can find somebody
to help us.
176
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,961
The whole town seems
to be deserted.
177
00:07:06,029 --> 00:07:07,663
Well, if there are
only four of us,
178
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,198
I propose we start a band.
179
00:07:09,266 --> 00:07:12,118
And I propose we call
ourselves Robes of Teal.
180
00:07:12,185 --> 00:07:13,753
Aw, damn it.
181
00:07:16,123 --> 00:07:18,724
Well, we could still be a band
and choose a different name.
182
00:07:18,775 --> 00:07:20,493
Oh, no, Robes of Teal
was the whole thing.
183
00:07:37,983 --> 00:07:39,351
What the hell happened?
Where is everybody?
184
00:07:39,437 --> 00:07:40,737
You don't suppose...
185
00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:43,751
Do you think, we're the
only people on Earth?
186
00:07:43,818 --> 00:07:45,352
I don't know.
I tell ya what,
187
00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:47,454
I'm gonna open up
this bag of Chex Party Mix.
188
00:07:47,522 --> 00:07:49,056
If people don't show up,
then we're it.
189
00:07:50,825 --> 00:07:52,693
Yep, we're it.
190
00:07:52,761 --> 00:07:55,262
All right, look, we know
we woke up in the hospital,
191
00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:57,431
so maybe there was some kind
of catastrophe
192
00:07:57,499 --> 00:07:58,866
that we were all spared.
193
00:07:58,933 --> 00:08:01,035
Or maybe we were all
in some kind of accident.
194
00:08:01,102 --> 00:08:03,070
Well, that would explain
why you're in a wheelchair.
195
00:08:03,138 --> 00:08:05,139
You must have gotten hurt
worse than the rest of us.
196
00:08:05,206 --> 00:08:07,758
Yeah, I got hit so hard,
it knocked my pee into a bag.
197
00:08:07,826 --> 00:08:09,093
None of this
makes any sense.
198
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,260
Where the hell
is everybody?
199
00:08:10,345 --> 00:08:11,945
Well, if we wait
till tax day,
200
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:13,480
I'm sure the tax man
will show up.
201
00:08:13,548 --> 00:08:14,848
Ha. You should tweet that.
202
00:08:14,899 --> 00:08:17,384
Okay.
203
00:08:18,753 --> 00:08:20,087
This guy's hilarious.
204
00:08:20,155 --> 00:08:21,555
I'm gonna retweet this.
205
00:08:23,158 --> 00:08:24,491
Huh.
Mm.
206
00:08:24,559 --> 00:08:27,261
Social media is bringing us
all closer together.
207
00:08:27,328 --> 00:08:28,462
Unfollow.
208
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,716
Hey, you know,
if we're all gonna be
209
00:08:32,784 --> 00:08:34,184
tryin' to figure
this out together,
210
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:36,403
maybe it would be easier
if we gave each other names.
211
00:08:36,454 --> 00:08:37,755
That's a great idea.
212
00:08:37,839 --> 00:08:39,923
Hey, maybe my name
is on this collar.
213
00:08:40,008 --> 00:08:42,292
Cremate, don't bury.
214
00:08:42,377 --> 00:08:43,410
Okay, that's a downer.
215
00:08:43,461 --> 00:08:44,745
You know what?
216
00:08:44,796 --> 00:08:46,680
I'm gettin' a feeling
about my name.
217
00:08:46,748 --> 00:08:49,516
I think my name
might be Shirt Pants.
218
00:08:49,584 --> 00:08:51,635
Shirt Pants?
What kind of name is that?
219
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:52,919
I don't know.
What's your name?
220
00:08:52,971 --> 00:08:54,805
I kinda think
it's Manly Walker.
221
00:08:54,889 --> 00:08:56,423
Wheeler?
No, Walker.
222
00:08:56,474 --> 00:08:57,775
Wheeler?
No, you're not hearing me right.
223
00:08:57,859 --> 00:08:58,892
It's Walker.
224
00:08:58,943 --> 00:09:00,094
It's probably Wheeler.
225
00:09:00,161 --> 00:09:01,729
I sorta think
my name is Earl.
226
00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,614
(My Name is Earl theme plays)
227
00:09:03,698 --> 00:09:05,065
What was that?
I don't know.
228
00:09:05,116 --> 00:09:06,784
Apparently, I made
some sort of reference.
229
00:09:06,868 --> 00:09:09,653
Hey, check it out.
Looks like a bar.
230
00:09:09,721 --> 00:09:11,422
I could go
for a stiff one.
231
00:09:11,489 --> 00:09:12,990
I think they got
a pill for that.
232
00:09:13,058 --> 00:09:14,258
Shirt Pants!
233
00:09:14,325 --> 00:09:17,094
Who else but Shirt Pants?
234
00:09:17,162 --> 00:09:19,730
♪ He's Shirt Pants,
Shirt Pants ♪
235
00:09:19,798 --> 00:09:21,999
♪ She's tryin' to remember,
but he really can't ♪
236
00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:24,101
♪ He's Shirt Pants,
Shirt Pants ♪
237
00:09:24,169 --> 00:09:27,020
♪ All I know for sure is I'm
wearing a shirt and pants. ♪
238
00:09:28,139 --> 00:09:29,740
Hello?
239
00:09:29,808 --> 00:09:32,076
♪ A-well-a everybody's heard
about the bird ♪
240
00:09:32,143 --> 00:09:34,845
♪ B-B-Bird, bird, bird,
b-bird's the word... ♪
241
00:09:34,913 --> 00:09:36,847
That's annoying.
242
00:09:36,931 --> 00:09:38,632
It just doesn't make sense
243
00:09:38,683 --> 00:09:39,900
that there aren't any people.
244
00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:41,635
This couldn't have
happened naturally.
245
00:09:41,686 --> 00:09:44,488
Something must have
caused this, or someone.
246
00:09:44,556 --> 00:09:47,541
Well, when I find that person,
I'm gonna strangle him.
247
00:09:47,609 --> 00:09:50,177
I had a life,
and he took it away from me.
248
00:09:50,245 --> 00:09:52,663
I don't remember it,
but I bet it was pretty good.
249
00:09:52,730 --> 00:09:54,031
Yeah, me, too.
250
00:09:54,099 --> 00:09:55,899
I bet I was a doctor
who had to deal with
251
00:09:55,967 --> 00:09:57,801
a lot of serious stuff,
but always found a way
252
00:09:57,869 --> 00:09:58,902
to keep things light.
253
00:10:00,138 --> 00:10:02,339
Oh, my God,
she's beautiful.
254
00:10:02,407 --> 00:10:03,774
Yeah, she is.
255
00:10:03,842 --> 00:10:06,510
It's not yours.
Yours died.
256
00:10:06,594 --> 00:10:08,045
Yeah, and I bet I answered
257
00:10:08,113 --> 00:10:10,347
the customer complaint line
at a Danish cookie company.
258
00:10:10,415 --> 00:10:13,117
Hello, Danish cookie company.
259
00:10:13,184 --> 00:10:16,120
No, I know they don't
taste very good.
260
00:10:16,187 --> 00:10:18,355
Well, because
they're very dry, aren't they?
261
00:10:18,423 --> 00:10:19,890
I mean, t-they came in a tin,
262
00:10:19,958 --> 00:10:21,992
how fresh did you think
they were gonna be?
263
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:24,228
Look, it's dark
and freezing in Denmark.
264
00:10:24,295 --> 00:10:26,597
Everybody who made these cookies
has shot themselves.
265
00:10:26,664 --> 00:10:29,383
Well, I bet I did something
really important and exciting.
266
00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:31,185
Like-like maybe I was
a speechwriter
267
00:10:31,252 --> 00:10:32,820
for the first ever
black president.
268
00:10:34,756 --> 00:10:36,356
Hey, can he say
the word "ask"?
269
00:10:36,424 --> 00:10:38,292
Or-or is that a word
we should avoid?
270
00:10:38,359 --> 00:10:41,562
Yea, and I bet you I was the
voice of an animated bird.
271
00:10:41,629 --> 00:10:44,198
I thought I saw a cat.
272
00:10:44,265 --> 00:10:46,767
I did see a cat.
273
00:10:46,835 --> 00:10:48,802
Oh, my God,
look at that.
274
00:10:51,306 --> 00:10:53,040
Wow, that looks
pretty bad.
275
00:10:53,107 --> 00:10:54,341
Is the Chinese
guy dead?
276
00:10:54,409 --> 00:10:55,475
Wait.
277
00:10:55,543 --> 00:10:58,028
We-we were in this car.
278
00:10:58,096 --> 00:10:59,630
I can smell us all
in this car!
279
00:10:59,697 --> 00:11:01,265
This must be the accident
280
00:11:01,332 --> 00:11:02,900
that put us all
in the hospital.
281
00:11:02,967 --> 00:11:05,185
See if there's a registration
in the glove compartment.
282
00:11:07,989 --> 00:11:09,489
"Peter Griffin."
283
00:11:09,557 --> 00:11:11,358
One of us is Peter Griffin.
284
00:11:11,426 --> 00:11:13,243
Look at this indent
on the steering wheel.
285
00:11:15,647 --> 00:11:16,680
It's a perfect match.
286
00:11:16,748 --> 00:11:17,714
Oh, my God!
287
00:11:17,782 --> 00:11:18,832
You're Peter Griffin!
288
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,133
Yeah, I am.
289
00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,135
And you live
at 31 Spooner Street.
290
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,871
Finally, a real clue.
Let's go!
291
00:11:23,938 --> 00:11:25,405
Wow, I own a house!
292
00:11:25,473 --> 00:11:26,707
I just hope it doesn't have
293
00:11:26,774 --> 00:11:28,709
one of those mailboxes
that looks like a cow.
294
00:11:28,776 --> 00:11:31,745
I just want to seem cool tothese guys, but I really hope
295
00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:34,281
I have one of those mailboxesthat looks like a cow.
296
00:11:34,349 --> 00:11:36,516
"Moo," says my mailbox.
297
00:11:39,587 --> 00:11:40,854
Well, this is
31 Spooner Street.
298
00:11:40,922 --> 00:11:42,089
I'm home.
299
00:11:42,156 --> 00:11:43,357
All right,
see you guys.
300
00:11:43,424 --> 00:11:44,791
I'm gonna go shove my
hand down my pants
301
00:11:44,859 --> 00:11:45,926
and see if that
goes someplace.
302
00:11:48,796 --> 00:11:51,498
Guys! Guys!
It goes someplace!
303
00:11:51,566 --> 00:11:54,051
Hang on, I got something.
304
00:11:56,921 --> 00:11:59,339
I poop a lot on this lawn.
305
00:11:59,407 --> 00:12:00,774
This must be where I live!
306
00:12:02,293 --> 00:12:03,594
Hey, Shirt Pants,
come in here.
307
00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:06,997
Oh, my God!
308
00:12:07,065 --> 00:12:08,548
I know, I know!
You're my owner!
309
00:12:08,616 --> 00:12:10,167
I knew it!
I knew we were pals!
310
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,969
Yeah, I mean, there's
no pictures of me,
311
00:12:12,053 --> 00:12:13,971
but I see you've got a
dog collar and a leash.
312
00:12:14,038 --> 00:12:15,889
And look how big
your doggie cage is.
313
00:12:15,957 --> 00:12:17,124
You could fit
a human in there.
314
00:12:17,191 --> 00:12:18,659
Clearly, you're
a good owner.
315
00:12:21,229 --> 00:12:22,896
It's such a
weird situation.
316
00:12:22,964 --> 00:12:24,998
I-I just think somebody
should be writing about it.
317
00:12:25,066 --> 00:12:26,266
Yeah.
318
00:12:26,317 --> 00:12:28,101
Do you... do you think
it should be me?
319
00:12:28,169 --> 00:12:30,153
S-Should I be the one
writing about this?
320
00:12:30,238 --> 00:12:31,304
Uh, I don't know.
321
00:12:31,356 --> 00:12:32,906
I-I think it
should be me.
322
00:12:32,974 --> 00:12:35,075
Then just do it, stop talking
about it for God's sake.
323
00:12:36,344 --> 00:12:37,911
Oh, hey, guys.
324
00:12:37,979 --> 00:12:39,346
Well, we got it
all figured out.
325
00:12:39,414 --> 00:12:41,181
Turns out my name
is Glenn Quagmire,
326
00:12:41,249 --> 00:12:42,432
and this is my dog.
327
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,717
Hey, you guys!
328
00:12:43,785 --> 00:12:44,952
Hey, I found my house.
329
00:12:45,019 --> 00:12:46,620
Turns out my name's
Joe Swanson,
330
00:12:46,688 --> 00:12:48,822
and I found this
police uniform in my closet.
331
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:50,123
Do you know
what that means?
332
00:12:50,191 --> 00:12:51,375
I'm a stripper!
333
00:12:52,844 --> 00:12:54,878
Well, it's good
we found out who we all are,
334
00:12:54,946 --> 00:12:56,213
but we still
haven't found out
335
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:57,948
what the hell happened
to everybody else.
336
00:12:58,016 --> 00:12:59,416
Yeah, I've been
thinking about that,
337
00:12:59,484 --> 00:13:01,218
and I think the
best course of action
338
00:13:01,286 --> 00:13:04,104
is for us to just go ahead and
start repopulating the Earth.
339
00:13:04,172 --> 00:13:05,572
But there are no women.
340
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:06,807
Well, let's try
some stuff.
341
00:13:06,858 --> 00:13:08,592
Hey, you guys want to
see something cool?
342
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,994
There's a bedroom upstairs
that belonged to some girl,
343
00:13:11,062 --> 00:13:12,529
and she's got bras in there,
344
00:13:12,597 --> 00:13:14,231
and the cups are
different sizes.
345
00:13:14,299 --> 00:13:16,033
L-Like one of them's
a martini glass
346
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,367
and the other one's
some kinda melon.
347
00:13:20,688 --> 00:13:22,773
Guys, you know how
we were thinking
348
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,242
that something must have
caused this situation...
349
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:26,677
or someone?
Yeah?
350
00:13:26,744 --> 00:13:28,512
Look at that.
351
00:13:33,584 --> 00:13:34,718
Oh, my God.
352
00:13:34,802 --> 00:13:35,702
It's him.
353
00:13:35,770 --> 00:13:36,803
He did this.
354
00:13:36,871 --> 00:13:37,838
What do we do?
355
00:13:37,905 --> 00:13:39,072
Check it out.
356
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:40,340
I got the little
freak's bra.
357
00:13:40,408 --> 00:13:41,558
I'm gonna put it on.
358
00:13:43,361 --> 00:13:45,395
Huh, this actually
fits pretty well.
359
00:13:45,463 --> 00:13:47,030
Oh, wait, there's
a name on it.
360
00:13:48,579 --> 00:13:49,779
It's mine.
361
00:13:55,305 --> 00:13:56,705
My God.
362
00:13:56,773 --> 00:13:59,091
Peter is responsible for
killing everyone on Earth.
363
00:13:59,159 --> 00:14:01,777
But how could a guy like that
cause all this destruction?
364
00:14:01,845 --> 00:14:03,979
Well, he's clearly
not just a guy.
365
00:14:04,047 --> 00:14:06,148
He's some kind of
omnipotent alien,
366
00:14:06,216 --> 00:14:08,016
with powers we can
only guess at.
367
00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:09,985
Look at him--
watching, learning...
368
00:14:10,053 --> 00:14:11,687
absorbing.
369
00:14:11,755 --> 00:14:14,289
This janitor's in love
with this redheaded ashtray.
370
00:14:17,861 --> 00:14:19,361
But why didn't
he kill us?
371
00:14:19,429 --> 00:14:21,463
I don't know, maybe...
maybe he needs us.
372
00:14:21,531 --> 00:14:22,931
Maybe we're important.
373
00:14:22,999 --> 00:14:25,734
I mean, I do have all these
profound ideas and thoughts.
374
00:14:25,802 --> 00:14:27,202
Maybe I was a deep
thinker of some kind.
375
00:14:27,270 --> 00:14:28,337
Deep thinker?
376
00:14:28,405 --> 00:14:29,538
I spent the whole morning
377
00:14:29,606 --> 00:14:31,173
trying to teach you
one simple thing.
378
00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:33,075
Give me paw.
379
00:14:33,143 --> 00:14:34,810
Paw?
380
00:14:34,878 --> 00:14:36,879
Good.
Other paw.
381
00:14:36,946 --> 00:14:39,181
No. Other paw.
382
00:14:39,249 --> 00:14:40,716
No!
We practiced this!
383
00:14:40,784 --> 00:14:42,317
You're gonna make me look bad
in front of the other guys.
384
00:14:42,385 --> 00:14:44,119
Other paw!
385
00:14:45,488 --> 00:14:46,555
Finally!
386
00:14:46,623 --> 00:14:47,723
You know, this
actually reminds me
387
00:14:47,791 --> 00:14:49,024
of a quote by Milton...
388
00:14:49,092 --> 00:14:50,959
Shut the up.
389
00:14:51,027 --> 00:14:52,661
Well, what are we gonna do?
390
00:14:52,729 --> 00:14:53,620
What are we
gonna do about what?
391
00:14:54,581 --> 00:14:55,747
Oh, about the...
392
00:14:55,815 --> 00:14:58,217
The, uh, th-th-the pie!
393
00:14:58,284 --> 00:15:00,152
The pie we're all
gonna make for you for...
394
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:01,753
being such a great guy.
395
00:15:01,821 --> 00:15:03,889
Aw, my God,
that sounds awesome.
396
00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:05,541
I would kill everyone
in the world
397
00:15:05,608 --> 00:15:08,010
and leave three survivors
for a piece of pie right now.
398
00:15:12,549 --> 00:15:13,782
Guys, really, what
are we gonna do?
399
00:15:13,850 --> 00:15:15,250
Well, it seems obvious.
400
00:15:15,318 --> 00:15:17,820
We gotta find a way
to kill him before he kills us.
401
00:15:17,887 --> 00:15:19,154
Kill him?
402
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:21,190
How about we just get
the hell out of here?
403
00:15:21,257 --> 00:15:22,825
Are you kidding me?
He'd catch us.
404
00:15:22,892 --> 00:15:25,461
If this guy's an alien,
I bet he can fly.
405
00:15:25,528 --> 00:15:27,596
He can probably
hear us right now.
406
00:15:27,664 --> 00:15:29,031
He's probably got a laser beam
407
00:15:29,098 --> 00:15:30,466
that can shoot us
through the walls.
408
00:15:31,751 --> 00:15:33,285
He can't hit us
if we keep moving!
409
00:15:33,336 --> 00:15:35,387
Can you... Can you not...
Can you...
410
00:15:35,455 --> 00:15:37,506
I just took a bunch of
random stuff I found
411
00:15:37,590 --> 00:15:39,191
in my medicine cabinet,
and you're really
412
00:15:39,259 --> 00:15:40,392
freaking me out
right now.
413
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:42,227
Okay, maybe he doesn't
have a laser.
414
00:15:42,295 --> 00:15:45,464
But listen, if we're gonna kill
him, we gotta find some guns.
415
00:15:45,532 --> 00:15:47,349
Okay, well, let's go.
416
00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:49,384
Not all of us. Somebody's
gotta go over there
417
00:15:49,452 --> 00:15:51,854
and keep an eye on him, make
sure he doesn't go anywhere.
418
00:15:51,921 --> 00:15:53,088
Oh, come on.
Why me?
419
00:15:53,156 --> 00:15:54,790
'Cause I'm your owner
and I said so.
420
00:15:54,858 --> 00:15:56,258
But I don't want to.
421
00:15:56,326 --> 00:15:57,526
All right, then,
you asked for it!
422
00:15:58,661 --> 00:16:00,062
What, what is that?
423
00:16:00,129 --> 00:16:01,480
I found it
in my night table.
424
00:16:01,548 --> 00:16:03,749
I thought it was a dog whistle,
but now I'm thinking
425
00:16:03,816 --> 00:16:06,268
it's something you jam in your
urethra to make you last longer.
426
00:16:11,207 --> 00:16:13,075
Man, I wonder if I'm one
of those secret assassins
427
00:16:13,142 --> 00:16:14,409
who doesn't even know it,
428
00:16:14,477 --> 00:16:16,311
but I'm a highly trained
killing machine.
429
00:16:16,379 --> 00:16:18,480
Well, I could test that
by attacking you.
430
00:16:18,548 --> 00:16:19,982
If you repel my attack,
431
00:16:20,049 --> 00:16:21,450
maybe that means
you're a secret assassin.
432
00:16:21,518 --> 00:16:23,051
Good idea.
433
00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:27,756
I don't, I don't think
I'm a secret assassin.
434
00:16:30,178 --> 00:16:31,914
Hey, uh...
435
00:16:31,915 --> 00:16:34,049
knock, knock,
a-anybody home?
436
00:16:34,117 --> 00:16:35,250
Oh, hey, buddy.
Come on in,
437
00:16:35,318 --> 00:16:36,752
I could use some company.
438
00:16:36,819 --> 00:16:38,487
Um, okay.
439
00:16:38,555 --> 00:16:40,372
Hey, I know we're the only
people on Earth and all,
440
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,773
but what's with
all these Mexicans
441
00:16:41,841 --> 00:16:43,509
coming here
to steal our jobs?
442
00:16:43,576 --> 00:16:44,943
Hey, what are you
doin' down there?
443
00:16:45,011 --> 00:16:46,678
Come on, sit up on
the couch with me.
444
00:16:46,746 --> 00:16:48,647
Are you sure?
445
00:16:48,715 --> 00:16:51,383
Mr. Quagmire says dogs aren't
allowed on the furniture.
446
00:16:51,451 --> 00:16:52,784
I don't care
about that stuff.
447
00:16:52,852 --> 00:16:54,887
Besides, you look like
you got a clean bum.
448
00:16:54,954 --> 00:16:57,322
It is pretty clean.
I just cleaned it.
449
00:16:57,390 --> 00:16:59,258
Ha. Bums are funny.
450
00:16:59,325 --> 00:17:01,126
They are kinda funny.
451
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:02,778
We all got one.
We all got one!
452
00:17:02,845 --> 00:17:04,947
I was just gonna say that!
Isn't-isn't that weird?
453
00:17:05,014 --> 00:17:06,448
Everybody's got a bum!
454
00:17:08,401 --> 00:17:09,835
Mine's even got a secret
compartment in it
455
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,036
where you can store stuff.
456
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,204
Hey, you want a pretzel?
457
00:17:12,272 --> 00:17:13,505
I'm okay.
458
00:17:13,573 --> 00:17:15,574
You know, you ever think
if we could all just
459
00:17:15,642 --> 00:17:18,043
spend more time celebrating our
similarities instead of just
460
00:17:18,111 --> 00:17:19,494
standing on our differences,
the universe
461
00:17:19,562 --> 00:17:20,963
would be a much better place?
462
00:17:21,030 --> 00:17:22,814
Not really.
But that bum thing,
463
00:17:22,882 --> 00:17:24,116
you're-you're on
to something there.
464
00:17:24,183 --> 00:17:25,551
Y-You're, uh...
465
00:17:25,618 --> 00:17:27,936
you're some kind of deep
thinker, aren't you?
466
00:17:32,759 --> 00:17:34,092
Where you goin'?
467
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,594
I-I think your...
468
00:17:35,678 --> 00:17:37,279
your pie might be
about ready.
469
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:39,214
Hey, we're gonna share
that pie, buddy,
470
00:17:39,282 --> 00:17:41,483
'cause, you know,
there's no "I" in "pie."
471
00:17:41,551 --> 00:17:42,410
Except for the "I."
472
00:17:42,411 --> 00:17:44,145
But enough about
numbers. You go.
473
00:17:46,821 --> 00:17:48,201
So, we ready
to do this?
474
00:17:48,202 --> 00:17:49,536
You guys, I'm
not sure that
475
00:17:49,604 --> 00:17:51,071
Peter's the guy
we think he is.
476
00:17:51,139 --> 00:17:53,874
He seems harmless and
actually kinda nice.
477
00:17:53,941 --> 00:17:55,208
Oh, my God.
478
00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:56,443
You slept with him!
479
00:17:56,511 --> 00:17:57,744
What? No, no.
480
00:17:57,812 --> 00:17:59,696
We were just watching TV,
but listen,
481
00:17:59,764 --> 00:18:02,299
you've got to believe me, he's
not capable of hurting anyone.
482
00:18:02,367 --> 00:18:04,234
Clearly he's
controlling your mind
483
00:18:04,302 --> 00:18:06,370
with his superior
alien brain.
484
00:18:06,437 --> 00:18:08,622
Ah, don't let 'em get
you down, Paul Blart.
485
00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:10,223
Your life has dignity.
486
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:12,225
And comedy!
487
00:18:12,293 --> 00:18:14,161
Oh, heavens!
488
00:18:14,228 --> 00:18:16,129
Look, there's pretty solid
evidence that this guy
489
00:18:16,197 --> 00:18:17,898
is responsible
for the elimination of
490
00:18:17,965 --> 00:18:21,184
the entire human race,
and we need to take him out.
491
00:18:21,252 --> 00:18:22,602
Okay, okay, you're right.
492
00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,738
But he trusts me, so
493
00:18:24,806 --> 00:18:26,206
you guys wait here,
494
00:18:26,274 --> 00:18:27,607
and I'll go lure him out.
495
00:18:31,446 --> 00:18:34,347
I have a lot of
dirty stuff in my house.
496
00:18:34,415 --> 00:18:36,049
Wait, what the
hell's he doing?
497
00:18:38,853 --> 00:18:40,954
He's supposed to be
luring Peter out here.
498
00:18:41,022 --> 00:18:42,322
He's not doing
anything like that.
499
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:43,490
He's warning him!
500
00:18:43,558 --> 00:18:44,891
They think I'm an alien?!
501
00:18:44,942 --> 00:18:46,710
Yes, and you have to get
out of here right away!
502
00:18:46,778 --> 00:18:48,545
But you're-you're
Quagmire's dog.
503
00:18:48,613 --> 00:18:50,514
Why would you be
helping me instead of him?
504
00:18:50,581 --> 00:18:51,882
Because...
505
00:18:51,949 --> 00:18:53,950
I-I don't...
I don't know why.
506
00:18:54,018 --> 00:18:55,051
I-I can't explain it.
507
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:56,186
I-I just...
508
00:18:56,254 --> 00:18:58,822
I feel like
you're my friend.
509
00:18:58,890 --> 00:18:59,990
You wouldn't understand.
510
00:19:00,057 --> 00:19:02,426
No, I think I kinda do.
511
00:19:05,062 --> 00:19:06,430
Come on, buddy.
Let's go!
512
00:19:11,018 --> 00:19:13,720
I knew I couldn't trust you,
you filthy mongrel.
513
00:19:13,771 --> 00:19:15,372
Guys, he didn't
do it, I swear.
514
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:16,740
Get out of the way, dog.
515
00:19:18,526 --> 00:19:20,694
Please! I didn't do anything!
516
00:19:20,761 --> 00:19:23,029
When you've been a stripper
as long as I have,
517
00:19:23,097 --> 00:19:25,198
you know when you've
met a bad egg.
518
00:19:25,266 --> 00:19:26,800
And you're a bad egg.
519
00:19:41,782 --> 00:19:44,184
No! You bastards!
520
00:19:54,378 --> 00:19:56,513
What the hell...
521
00:19:56,581 --> 00:19:57,964
What's going on?
522
00:19:59,684 --> 00:20:00,800
Stewie?
523
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:02,469
Well, Brian,
you proved me wrong.
524
00:20:02,537 --> 00:20:04,054
What the hell
are you talking about?
525
00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:05,522
What, what is all this?
526
00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:08,275
You see, Brian, I conducted
a little experiment.
527
00:20:08,326 --> 00:20:10,076
Remember our
little argument about
528
00:20:10,144 --> 00:20:11,945
whether you and Peter
were actually friends?
529
00:20:11,996 --> 00:20:14,314
Well, I wanted to prove
to you that I was right,
530
00:20:14,382 --> 00:20:17,250
that your friendship was purely
a result of circumstance.
531
00:20:17,318 --> 00:20:20,654
So I created a scenario in which
everyone's memories were erased,
532
00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:22,589
to demonstrate
that you and Peter
533
00:20:22,657 --> 00:20:24,608
would never naturally
associate with one another.
534
00:20:24,675 --> 00:20:26,009
But I was wrong.
535
00:20:26,077 --> 00:20:29,095
It appears you two have
a genuine bond after all.
536
00:20:29,163 --> 00:20:30,530
Wow.
537
00:20:30,598 --> 00:20:33,416
So we really were meant
to be friends.
538
00:20:33,484 --> 00:20:34,851
I guess you were, yes.
539
00:20:34,919 --> 00:20:36,953
So, are they gonna
remember any of this?
540
00:20:37,021 --> 00:20:38,889
No, I'll wipe out
their whole day.
541
00:20:38,956 --> 00:20:40,023
It'll be like
it never happened.
542
00:20:40,091 --> 00:20:41,358
Wow.
543
00:20:41,425 --> 00:20:43,076
Hey, what's going
on over there?
544
00:20:44,545 --> 00:20:46,890
Oh, I wanted to see how
three women would react
545
00:20:46,915 --> 00:20:47,864
in the same situation.
546
00:20:47,865 --> 00:20:49,115
MEG: Stop it!
547
00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:50,784
LOIS: Ow! Ow!
BONNIE: Let go! Let go!
548
00:20:52,202 --> 00:20:54,149
They've only been in there
for three minutes.
549
00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:56,602
Haven't even tried to figure
out each other's names yet.
550
00:20:57,201 --> 00:21:01,201
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
551
00:21:01,565 --> 00:21:04,869
Sync for WEB-DL: VeRdiKT
[Addic7ed.com]
40165
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