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1
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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,383 --> 00:00:07,701
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,753 --> 00:00:11,172
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,223 --> 00:00:14,141
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,209 --> 00:00:17,728
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:17,813 --> 00:00:20,931
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,016 --> 00:00:22,533
♪ All the things that make us
8
00:00:22,601 --> 00:00:24,318
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,386 --> 00:00:29,307
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:29,332 --> 00:00:32,832
♪ Family Guy 10x11 ♪
The Blind Side
Original Air Date on January 15, 2012
11
00:00:32,857 --> 00:00:36,357
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:39,972
Stewie, what are
you doing?
13
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,641
Oh, just doing a
little tai chi.
14
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,127
You know how the Asians
look 30 until they're 60?
15
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,361
This is why.
16
00:00:45,429 --> 00:00:47,013
Of course, then they
suddenly look 100,
17
00:00:47,097 --> 00:00:48,147
but cross that
bridge, you know?
18
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,348
Is this a Japanese thing?
19
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:50,767
No, Chinese.
20
00:00:50,834 --> 00:00:52,468
The Japanese have a whole
other thing going on.
21
00:00:53,031 --> 00:00:54,231
Hey, you want to see a movie?
22
00:00:54,256 --> 00:00:57,181
No, we're Japanese, let's watch
a schoolgirl bang an octopus.
23
00:00:57,327 --> 00:00:58,263
Yeah!
24
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:02,563
Suction cup feel good!
25
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:08,419
And of course the most
important part of any workout
26
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:10,871
is a proper cool
down and a stretch.
27
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:12,906
What? What is it?
28
00:01:12,974 --> 00:01:14,775
I got a splinter!
29
00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:20,798
Oh, my God, Stewie, what is it?!
30
00:01:20,865 --> 00:01:22,082
Oh, he's just
got a splinter.
31
00:01:22,167 --> 00:01:23,584
Oh, my poor baby.
32
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,886
It's 'cause these old stairs
are just falling apart.
33
00:01:25,954 --> 00:01:27,187
It's not just the stairs.
34
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:29,356
Meg has spent two days
pinned under a roof beam.
35
00:01:31,726 --> 00:01:33,761
Let's just focus
on the stairs, Brian.
36
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,315
Morning, Opie.
37
00:01:38,383 --> 00:01:40,284
Hey, what's going on?
You going somewhere?
38
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,771
You got fired? Why?!
39
00:01:45,657 --> 00:01:47,091
Oh, well, it's no wonder
40
00:01:47,158 --> 00:01:48,826
they finally caught you
doing that in here.
41
00:01:48,893 --> 00:01:50,260
I mean, the underside
of your desk
44
00:01:57,535 --> 00:01:58,736
Nice to meet you.
45
00:01:58,803 --> 00:01:59,937
W-What is this?
46
00:02:00,004 --> 00:02:01,505
We doing a new
secret handshake now?
47
00:02:01,573 --> 00:02:03,574
No, Griffin, she's deaf.
48
00:02:03,641 --> 00:02:05,376
Oh. Can she
read lips?
49
00:02:05,443 --> 00:02:06,910
Yes, I can.
50
00:02:06,978 --> 00:02:09,980
So if I do this, I can talk
about what a sweet rack she has?
51
00:02:10,048 --> 00:02:12,599
Yes, but try not to make
a boob-honking gesture
52
00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:14,368
with your other hand
while you're saying it.
53
00:02:14,436 --> 00:02:15,936
Sorry.
It's okay.
54
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:17,421
I'm used to people being
55
00:02:17,472 --> 00:02:20,224
a little uncomfortable
with me at first.
56
00:02:20,291 --> 00:02:23,077
If you have any questions,
feel free to ask.
57
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:24,528
Yeah, actually, I do.
58
00:02:24,595 --> 00:02:27,731
Are your other senses better
on account of you can't hear?
59
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:30,484
Like, can you smell my farts
before they even come out?
60
00:02:30,552 --> 00:02:32,419
'Cause I got one
in the pocket right now,
61
00:02:32,487 --> 00:02:35,222
and I want to know if I need
to feel self-conscious about it.
62
00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:37,091
I can't smell it, no.
63
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,243
I might be able
to see it, though.
64
00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:42,996
A lot of people make small
movements when they fart.
65
00:02:43,081 --> 00:02:45,182
They twitch their
eye or something.
66
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,184
Oh, like subtle
giveaways, huh?
67
00:02:47,252 --> 00:02:50,370
All right, well, t-tell me
if you can see when it happens.
68
00:02:51,673 --> 00:02:52,873
You just farted.
69
00:02:52,941 --> 00:02:54,174
Oh, my God,
you saw that?!
70
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,910
You can see all my tiny,
subtle movements?
71
00:02:58,129 --> 00:02:59,563
You just did it again.
72
00:02:59,631 --> 00:03:01,198
Well, this is
gonna be a delight!
73
00:03:01,266 --> 00:03:02,850
I don't know
why Lois always said
74
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,918
she had problems
with female coworkers.
75
00:03:04,986 --> 00:03:07,588
So Abby, Elaine and Janet have
their little lunch clique,
76
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,856
and of course
I'm not invited.
77
00:03:08,923 --> 00:03:10,007
Seems like
you're doing everything
78
00:03:10,074 --> 00:03:11,341
and they're doing nothing.
79
00:03:11,409 --> 00:03:13,277
Well, I don't know,
but what I do know is
80
00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:14,595
that in the staff meeting,
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
81
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,096
Christina said my inventory
system wasn't feasible.
82
00:03:16,164 --> 00:03:17,631
She's obviously
threatened by you.
83
00:03:17,699 --> 00:03:19,349
But when the associate sales
manager came back in the room...
84
00:03:19,417 --> 00:03:20,667
It's ridiculous,
and I support you fully.
85
00:03:20,735 --> 00:03:22,102
...she told him the idea
as if it was hers...
86
00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:23,203
You can't let them
get to you.
87
00:03:23,288 --> 00:03:24,671
They're jealous
of what you have.
88
00:03:24,739 --> 00:03:26,857
It's nothing to do with you,
and everything to do with them.
89
00:03:26,925 --> 00:03:28,725
Only you can
prevent forest fires.
90
00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:34,882
Hey, Peter, you ready
to go to the Clam?
91
00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:36,266
Whoa, who's the hot chick?
92
00:03:36,334 --> 00:03:37,518
Oh, that's Stella.
93
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:38,819
You don't have to whisper;
she's deaf.
94
00:03:38,887 --> 00:03:39,837
Really?
95
00:03:39,904 --> 00:03:41,104
Oh, my God, that's hot.
96
00:03:41,172 --> 00:03:42,806
I didn't know you had
a thing for deaf chicks.
97
00:03:42,857 --> 00:03:44,124
Any kind of disabled
chick, Peter.
98
00:03:44,192 --> 00:03:45,459
They can do
things to you
99
00:03:45,527 --> 00:03:47,094
that regular chicks
don't even think of.
100
00:03:47,162 --> 00:03:48,462
Besides, you know me.
101
00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:49,947
I'm into a lot of
different stuff.
102
00:03:53,952 --> 00:03:55,369
What, did you hear something?
103
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,436
No, it's all good.
104
00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:57,437
All right.
105
00:04:04,879 --> 00:04:07,297
You know, Chris,
a little friendly advice.
106
00:04:07,365 --> 00:04:08,966
Uh, you're gonna
start dating soon;
107
00:04:09,033 --> 00:04:10,634
probably good
to get in the habit
108
00:04:10,702 --> 00:04:12,152
of chewing
with your mouth closed.
109
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:14,771
Doesn't bother me, I'm just--
you know, one friend to another.
110
00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:16,740
Oh, what, you got
a problem with me?
111
00:04:16,808 --> 00:04:19,243
You think I'm gross?
112
00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:22,112
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
113
00:04:24,399 --> 00:04:27,901
Yeah. This is what you are
and this is what I am.
114
00:04:27,986 --> 00:04:29,586
Peter, hurry up!
115
00:04:29,654 --> 00:04:30,687
You're missing dinner.
116
00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:40,097
Lois, what the hell?!
117
00:04:40,164 --> 00:04:41,898
Oh, my God, Peter,
are you okay?!
118
00:04:41,950 --> 00:04:43,250
What the hell happened
to the stairs?!
119
00:04:43,318 --> 00:04:44,318
They're all
slippery now!
120
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,019
I had them replaced,
remember?
121
00:04:46,087 --> 00:04:48,589
The old ones were so rough,
and Stewie got that splinter,
122
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:51,225
so I thought replacing
the wood was the best way to go.
123
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:52,726
When'd you do that?!
124
00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:55,062
The other day, when you spent
all that time at the drugstore.
125
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,363
Oh, yeah.
126
00:04:56,431 --> 00:04:57,764
Couldn't figure out
if that Hispanic lady
127
00:04:57,832 --> 00:04:58,665
worked there or not.
128
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,238
Um... excuse me.
129
00:05:06,608 --> 00:05:09,243
Excuse me.
130
00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:12,412
Boy, I wonder where the
shampoos are around here.
131
00:05:14,349 --> 00:05:18,085
I said, "I wonder where the
shampoos are around here."
132
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,688
Oh, for God's sake,
I almost thought
133
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:22,756
you were a
regular person.
134
00:05:22,824 --> 00:05:24,024
Where's the shampoo?!
135
00:05:27,078 --> 00:05:29,162
What the hell?
136
00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:36,286
Hey, guys,
all the action's over here!
137
00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,772
Quagmire, what
is all this?
138
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,724
Peter's new coworker
gave me an idea.
139
00:05:40,792 --> 00:05:43,243
Welcome to
Disabled Ladies Night.
140
00:05:43,311 --> 00:05:44,745
Mine are made
from teak.
141
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:46,146
What are yours
made from?
142
00:05:46,214 --> 00:05:49,016
Yeah, mine are actually just
pressboard with wood veneer.
143
00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:50,550
I can't get wet.
144
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:53,437
Oh. I think I
see my friends.
145
00:05:56,324 --> 00:05:58,475
Hey, uh, you guys
enjoy the carnival.
146
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:01,311
I'm gonna get
a drink at the bar.
147
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,280
Hey, uh, anyone
sitting here?
148
00:06:03,348 --> 00:06:04,464
No, go ahead.
149
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,866
Thanks.
150
00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:07,834
Hey, would you like
to go out sometime?
151
00:06:07,902 --> 00:06:09,303
Wow, that was fast.
152
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,488
Yeah, well, you know, I read
somewhere that women decide
153
00:06:11,556 --> 00:06:13,707
within the first seven seconds
if they're interested in you
154
00:06:13,775 --> 00:06:15,776
or not, so I figured I
wouldn't waste anybody's time.
155
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:16,777
Fair enough.
156
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,161
Sure, let's go out.
157
00:06:18,229 --> 00:06:19,229
- Really?
- Yeah.
158
00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:21,131
Like you said,
I've already decided.
159
00:06:21,199 --> 00:06:22,132
I'm Kate.
160
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,400
I'm Brian.
161
00:06:23,468 --> 00:06:25,369
Hey, uh, you want
to go outside?
162
00:06:25,436 --> 00:06:26,403
Maybe a little
quieter.
163
00:06:26,471 --> 00:06:27,821
Sure.
164
00:06:32,193 --> 00:06:33,944
Oh, my God, I...
165
00:06:34,012 --> 00:06:35,662
Hey, check out Brian
with the blind chick.
166
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:36,997
Hey, don't worry, Brian,
167
00:06:37,065 --> 00:06:38,432
you're still doing
better than Quagmire.
168
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,599
He got a hooker.
169
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,468
Ha!
170
00:06:41,536 --> 00:06:42,936
No, no, but she is
a prostitute.
171
00:06:52,797 --> 00:06:55,381
Listen, you know, we can do
something else if you want.
172
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,816
Why? I'm having a good time.
173
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,334
Well, I mean, I
just don't know
174
00:06:58,402 --> 00:07:01,237
how much fun it is for a blind
person to go to the movies.
175
00:07:01,305 --> 00:07:03,807
Brian, blind people
go to the movies all the time.
176
00:07:03,874 --> 00:07:05,208
We just listen.
177
00:07:05,276 --> 00:07:07,844
I might be blind, but my brain
has been trained to listen
178
00:07:07,912 --> 00:07:11,181
to any movie and know exactly
what's happening on screen.
179
00:07:11,248 --> 00:07:13,216
Like, I loved Titanic.
180
00:07:13,284 --> 00:07:15,702
I'm the king of the world!
181
00:07:24,395 --> 00:07:26,896
So you sure you don't
need me to come in?
182
00:07:26,964 --> 00:07:29,015
Maybe show you
to your bed.
183
00:07:29,099 --> 00:07:31,217
Pretty sure I can
find it, thanks.
184
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,886
Maybe next time I'll
have trouble, though.
185
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,054
You might have to help
me find it next time.
186
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,556
So there's a next time.
187
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:37,540
Definitely.
188
00:07:37,608 --> 00:07:38,508
Great.
189
00:07:38,576 --> 00:07:41,010
Well, all right, good night.
190
00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:45,081
Ugh! Our stupid
neighbor's dog barks 24/7.
191
00:07:45,149 --> 00:07:46,749
God, I hate dogs.
192
00:07:46,817 --> 00:07:48,268
Y-You do?
193
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:52,105
Yeah, they're just slobbery,
annoying, needy little bastards.
194
00:07:52,173 --> 00:07:54,207
I'm just not really a
dog person, I guess.
195
00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:56,609
Oh. Uh, yeah, me neither.
196
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,428
Dog people can get
pretty annoying.
197
00:07:58,496 --> 00:08:00,446
Wow, this is
a nice apartment you have.
198
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:01,814
Is this your dog?
199
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:05,051
Yes. Isn't he the cutest
little cutie wutie?
200
00:08:05,119 --> 00:08:06,553
Look how cute he is.
201
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,921
Yes, he's very cute.
202
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,355
Yes, he's cute.
203
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,407
Yes, he's cute,
cute, cute, cute.
204
00:08:11,475 --> 00:08:13,293
Look at him. Look
at him. Look at him.
205
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:14,427
Okay.
206
00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:16,663
Look at it! Look at
that face! Come on!
207
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,481
Look at that face!
You look at him!
208
00:08:18,549 --> 00:08:20,049
Look at that
face!
209
00:08:22,186 --> 00:08:24,554
Hey, guys, this is
driving me nuts.
210
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,439
Was one of the dwarves
named Snappy?
211
00:08:26,524 --> 00:08:27,607
Kind of well dressed?
212
00:08:27,691 --> 00:08:29,259
Or am I-I just making that up?
213
00:08:34,331 --> 00:08:35,648
Oh, my God, Dad!
214
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,016
Dad, are you okay?!
215
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:38,685
Damn it, I hate
these new stairs!
216
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:39,953
Yeah, I'm fine.
217
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,154
I'll just--
I'm-I'm just gonna
218
00:08:41,222 --> 00:08:43,089
lie here until the
pain goes away.
219
00:08:43,157 --> 00:08:44,791
What are you
guys watching?
220
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,759
We now return to
the first time travel movie
221
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,661
with a perfectly functioning
time machine.
222
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,363
All right, if I'm correct,
223
00:08:50,431 --> 00:08:52,966
this should land us
in six million B.C.
224
00:08:55,185 --> 00:08:56,553
Quick!
Get us out of here!
225
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,073
Boy, that was close.
226
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,441
Oh, my God,
where's Frank?!
227
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,742
I'm over here.
228
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:03,977
Oh, okay.
229
00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:12,802
Brian, if I ever
take up roller derby,
230
00:09:12,870 --> 00:09:14,470
what do you think
my name should be?
231
00:09:14,538 --> 00:09:17,640
Bruisin' B. Anthony,
Alicia Sleaze or Quahag?
232
00:09:17,708 --> 00:09:19,442
How about Harlot O'Scara?
233
00:09:19,510 --> 00:09:20,727
Aw, you dick,
that's genius.
234
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:21,961
How'd your date go?
235
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,863
Aw, went great.
We had an awesome time.
236
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,565
She's really smart,
really funny.
237
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,833
Cute?
Yeah, hot, actually.
238
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,301
I don't know
how she does it,
239
00:09:28,369 --> 00:09:30,236
but she dresses really well
for a blind girl.
240
00:09:30,304 --> 00:09:31,804
I mean, like,
her body is just...
241
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:34,574
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
242
00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:35,575
What?
243
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:36,676
Don't "what" me.
244
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:37,910
You just said
she's blind.
245
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:39,112
You just said it.
246
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,513
You totally
buried the lead.
247
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,981
Yeah, well, it's not
that important.
248
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,483
So what if she can't see?
249
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,184
She's amazing
in every other way.
250
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,886
Okay, if you say so.
251
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:49,322
Hey, does she have really
weird, messed-up eyes?
252
00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:50,823
No, her eyes are normal.
253
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:53,209
They're beautiful, actually.
254
00:09:53,277 --> 00:09:55,078
Bet they're not.
255
00:09:55,145 --> 00:09:57,764
Bet they look like bowls of milk.
Shut up.
256
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,232
You sure she isn't
just using you?
257
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,533
Seeing-eye dogs are expensive;
258
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,802
she may just be trying
to get one for free.
259
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,837
No, actually, she doesn't
want a seeing-eye dog.
260
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,106
She hates dogs.
261
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,207
What?
262
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,342
She doesn't like dogs.
263
00:10:09,410 --> 00:10:10,877
She's just not a dog person.
264
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,645
What? Does she not
know you're a dog?
265
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:13,913
How is that possible?
266
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,549
Well, we-we haven't
done anything yet.
267
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,951
So I'm-I'm just gonna, I'm just
gonna avoid touching her
268
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,486
until a little more time
has passed.
269
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:23,122
And by the time I tell her,
I'll have impressed her so much
270
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,574
that the dog thing
won't even matter.
271
00:10:24,642 --> 00:10:25,892
Yeah, well, good
luck with that.
272
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,927
You know, I like
your delusion, Brian.
273
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,563
Most people would say,
"I lost, I give up,"
274
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:32,465
but you, you just
keep trying.
275
00:10:32,533 --> 00:10:34,334
You're like the
Dominican Republic.
276
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,402
Always killing the guy
in charge and saying,
277
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:39,372
"Oh, this new guy, this new
guy's gonna get it right."
278
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,973
Well, that's just because
I have confidence
279
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,308
that I'll find happiness.
280
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:43,810
Hey, anything's
possible, right?
281
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,478
I mean, I once
found the Batcave.
282
00:10:45,546 --> 00:10:47,880
Look, you can't expect
to hire 60 workers
283
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,883
to dig a cave under your house
and then keep it a secret.
284
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,752
I mean, those men
live in this town.
285
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,355
Yeah, but I told them it was
part of a geological survey.
286
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,839
Batman, Batman.
287
00:10:56,890 --> 00:11:00,393
They built a lazy Susan
for your nuclear car.
288
00:11:00,461 --> 00:11:03,246
That's something they consider
conversation-worthy.
289
00:11:06,483 --> 00:11:08,985
Gosh, this has been
an amazing week, Brian.
290
00:11:09,053 --> 00:11:10,586
I still can't believe
you beat up
291
00:11:10,654 --> 00:11:12,021
that guy
who tried to mug us.
292
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,439
That was a great dinner.
293
00:11:13,524 --> 00:11:15,391
Yeah, I really liked that
salmon you recommended.
294
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,126
Yes. May I help
you gentlemen?
295
00:11:17,194 --> 00:11:18,745
"Hey, you're in a
tough part of town.
296
00:11:18,829 --> 00:11:20,329
Now, give me your
purse, doll face."
297
00:11:20,397 --> 00:11:21,681
Hey, you get your
hands off that!
298
00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,116
I don't care how many
of you there are--
299
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,484
you're not taking
this purse!
300
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,252
"Ah, the hell we aren't.
Let's get him, boys!"
301
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:27,870
Brian?
Stay right there, Kate.
302
00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,038
I'll handle this.
303
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,175
Yeah, you like
that, huh?
304
00:11:32,242 --> 00:11:33,292
"Ooh! This
guy's tough!"
305
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,129
"No fair. He
knows karate.
306
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,431
Usually, handsome guys ain't
so good with their fists."
307
00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,601
And stay away from
my girlfriend.
308
00:11:41,685 --> 00:11:42,885
Brian, I know
karate, too.
309
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:44,137
I can help you.
310
00:11:44,221 --> 00:11:45,538
"You stay out
of this, lady!"
311
00:11:47,257 --> 00:11:49,459
I got one!
I think I got one!
312
00:11:49,526 --> 00:11:51,594
Yeah, yeah, but I-I
got the other four.
313
00:11:51,662 --> 00:11:53,096
They're-they're
gone now.
314
00:11:53,163 --> 00:11:54,330
They're gone.
315
00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:56,265
Well, they took the
gift I had for you,
316
00:11:56,333 --> 00:11:57,433
but at least
you're okay.
317
00:11:57,501 --> 00:11:59,168
And that trip
to the Eiffel Tower
318
00:11:59,236 --> 00:12:00,636
was just amazing.
319
00:12:03,941 --> 00:12:05,675
Are we almost
at the top?
320
00:12:05,743 --> 00:12:07,493
Yeah, just a
few more steps.
321
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,412
Here we are.
322
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,664
Ah, the winds of Paris.
323
00:12:11,749 --> 00:12:13,332
Isn't that what they say?
324
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,451
Oh, that breeze
is gorgeous.
325
00:12:15,519 --> 00:12:17,887
And I think I smell...
croissants?
326
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,172
Do you?
327
00:12:19,256 --> 00:12:21,057
You have an amazing
sense of smell.
328
00:12:21,125 --> 00:12:22,258
Oh, there it is.
329
00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:23,593
There's what?
Oh, nothing.
330
00:12:23,644 --> 00:12:25,011
Just the, uh,
Goodyear blimp.
331
00:12:25,095 --> 00:12:27,480
It says, "I love you,
Kate," all in lights.
332
00:12:27,564 --> 00:12:29,232
Here in Paris?
333
00:12:29,299 --> 00:12:31,584
Yeah, it's... it's here for
Wimbledon or something.
334
00:12:31,652 --> 00:12:32,935
Oh, my God.
335
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,070
That's the most
romantic thing
336
00:12:34,137 --> 00:12:35,471
anybody's ever
done for me.
337
00:12:35,522 --> 00:12:36,773
Well, get used to it.
338
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:38,357
You're going to be
hearing a lot of things
339
00:12:38,442 --> 00:12:39,592
I've done for you.
340
00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:44,714
We now return to True Blood.
341
00:12:44,782 --> 00:12:46,649
Hi. I'm a nude vampire.
342
00:12:46,717 --> 00:12:48,951
Hi. I'm a nude werewolf.
343
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,419
And that's the show!
344
00:12:50,487 --> 00:12:51,988
Peter, come downstairs.
345
00:12:52,055 --> 00:12:53,656
That gay show you like is on.
346
00:12:53,724 --> 00:12:54,791
Coming!
347
00:13:15,312 --> 00:13:16,612
Damn it!
348
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,264
Oh, my God, Peter.
Are you okay?
349
00:13:18,332 --> 00:13:19,966
No, I am not okay!
350
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,868
Nothing about this
is okay!
351
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,536
You just need
to be more careful
352
00:13:23,604 --> 00:13:25,071
coming down the stairs.
That's all.
353
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,023
Easy for you to say.
354
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:29,175
This is stressing
the crap out of me.
355
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,777
Like when we had that
easily startled wallpaper.
356
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,147
Aah!
357
00:13:42,539 --> 00:13:43,673
Well, it's getting late.
358
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,057
I should probably go.
359
00:13:45,142 --> 00:13:47,410
Brian, this is like
our sixth date.
360
00:13:47,477 --> 00:13:48,978
I'm beginning to feel
like you're not
361
00:13:49,046 --> 00:13:50,313
attracted to me
or something.
362
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:52,031
No, I... Oh,
my God, I'm...
363
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,499
I'm so attracted
to you. I...
364
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:56,202
So why haven't we
done anything about it?
365
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:58,037
I-I just... you
know, sometimes
366
00:13:58,105 --> 00:13:59,539
taking things
slower is better.
367
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,541
Just ask any sloth.
368
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:04,844
Hey, is sometimestaking things slower better?
369
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,485
Yeah.
370
00:14:12,553 --> 00:14:15,988
I just... I like
you a lot, and I...
371
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,290
I don't want to
ruin anything
372
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,658
by moving too
fast, you know?
373
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,693
'Cause sometimes,
when you...
374
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,381
Brian, you never told me
you had a beard.
375
00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:26,849
I love beards.
376
00:14:26,917 --> 00:14:28,217
Oh. Yeah.
377
00:14:28,285 --> 00:14:30,419
No, hey, I'm bearding
it up over here.
378
00:14:30,487 --> 00:14:34,273
Hey, Brian, would you be cool
with meeting my parents?
379
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:35,608
They're in town
this weekend,
380
00:14:35,692 --> 00:14:37,193
and I thought we
could all have dinner.
381
00:14:37,261 --> 00:14:38,961
Uh... sure.
382
00:14:39,029 --> 00:14:41,764
Are they... are they
driving themselves?
383
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,368
If you're asking
if they can see, yes.
384
00:14:45,435 --> 00:14:47,904
And since you can see...
385
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,606
why don't you tell me
how these look?
386
00:14:50,674 --> 00:14:52,541
Uh... they look
pretty damn great.
387
00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:54,844
Then why don't you
tell me how they feel?
388
00:14:54,912 --> 00:14:56,312
Uh, next time.
389
00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:58,280
Some things are
worth waiting for.
390
00:14:58,332 --> 00:15:00,800
Wow. You're really
a true gentleman.
391
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,368
Yep, not too
many of us left.
392
00:15:10,942 --> 00:15:11,859
Stewie,
I need your help.
393
00:15:11,927 --> 00:15:12,877
What? What is it?
394
00:15:12,944 --> 00:15:14,395
I have a crisis situation here.
395
00:15:14,463 --> 00:15:15,980
Kate wants me
to meet her parents.
396
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:17,832
Hey, guys.
397
00:15:17,899 --> 00:15:21,318
Just gonna...
gonna take this.
398
00:15:21,386 --> 00:15:23,654
Thank you.
399
00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:25,239
What the hell
am I going to do?
400
00:15:25,307 --> 00:15:26,574
All right, all right,
just calm down.
401
00:15:26,641 --> 00:15:28,008
Calm down?
402
00:15:28,076 --> 00:15:29,627
We're all supposed to have
dinner tomorrow night,
403
00:15:29,694 --> 00:15:31,879
and her parents
are going to see that I'm a dog.
404
00:15:37,085 --> 00:15:38,219
Don't worry, Brian.
405
00:15:38,286 --> 00:15:39,453
I'll come up
with something.
406
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,122
Remember, I'm the
guy who came up
407
00:15:41,189 --> 00:15:42,740
with the choreography
to Showgirls.
408
00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:44,975
♪
409
00:15:45,043 --> 00:15:46,961
Okay, stop.
Stop. Stop.
410
00:15:47,028 --> 00:15:49,497
Elizabeth, darling,
too much hands, not enough hips.
411
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:50,948
Can I just show you?
412
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:54,502
One, two, three, four.
413
00:15:54,569 --> 00:15:56,687
I'm dancing from my vagina.
414
00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,472
One, two, three, four.
415
00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:00,457
I'm grinding, I'm grinding.
416
00:16:00,509 --> 00:16:02,510
Orgasm eyes, orgasm eyes.
417
00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:04,762
And we're done.
418
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:08,265
You do 20% that,
and we got a movie.
419
00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:14,488
Peter, what
is all this?
420
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:15,589
Oh, hi, Lois.
421
00:16:15,657 --> 00:16:16,891
I live upstairs now.
422
00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:18,159
What?
That's right.
423
00:16:18,226 --> 00:16:19,994
I made a nest
of my old underwears
424
00:16:20,061 --> 00:16:21,495
on which
to lay my eggs,
425
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,898
and I shall raise my young
in this room alone.
426
00:16:23,965 --> 00:16:25,166
Peter, you're being an idiot.
427
00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:26,300
Oh, really?
428
00:16:26,368 --> 00:16:27,535
Would an idiot
have been able
429
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:29,220
to rig this rig
to that rig?
430
00:16:29,287 --> 00:16:30,888
Peter, that's nothing.
431
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,840
Oh, is it?
432
00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:39,113
I died! I died!
433
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:50,191
Oh, hi.
You must be Kate.
434
00:16:50,258 --> 00:16:51,559
I'm Brian's nurse.
435
00:16:51,626 --> 00:16:53,194
He's had a little accident,
I'm afraid.
436
00:16:53,261 --> 00:16:55,229
Oh, my God, Brian!
Are you okay?
437
00:16:55,297 --> 00:16:56,497
Ah, don't worry.
I'm fine.
438
00:16:56,565 --> 00:16:58,282
I'm just sort of
bandaged up right now.
439
00:16:58,349 --> 00:16:59,700
You must be Kate's parents.
440
00:16:59,784 --> 00:17:01,035
It's so nice
to meet you.
441
00:17:01,102 --> 00:17:02,703
Well, it's lovely
to meet you, too.
442
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,371
So what happened?
443
00:17:04,439 --> 00:17:06,957
What happened is this one's
a hero, is what happened.
444
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:09,193
Rescued two children
from a burning building.
445
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:10,694
Can you imagine?
446
00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:12,880
Not quite in time-- they
were both horribly burned.
447
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,481
Have that sort of
crème brûlée face
448
00:17:14,549 --> 00:17:16,233
going on now, but he
saved their lives.
449
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:17,568
Oh, my, Brian.
450
00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:19,303
I know, right?
So noble.
451
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,272
Plus he's the only
one of my patients
452
00:17:21,339 --> 00:17:23,374
to never ask me
for hand work.
453
00:17:23,441 --> 00:17:25,176
Such a gentleman.
454
00:17:25,243 --> 00:17:26,277
Never even
tried anything
455
00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,012
when I'm giving
him a sponge bath.
456
00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:29,180
And I'm very
thorough.
457
00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:30,814
I will wash the
abdominals.
458
00:17:30,882 --> 00:17:32,383
Not all nurses
do, but I do.
459
00:17:32,450 --> 00:17:33,651
And yes, sometimes
I graze it,
460
00:17:33,718 --> 00:17:34,785
but you know what?
461
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:35,853
I'm a healthcare
professional.
462
00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:37,421
It's what I do.
It's my work.
463
00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:38,556
It's important
to me,
464
00:17:38,623 --> 00:17:40,357
and this one
respects that.
465
00:17:40,425 --> 00:17:43,260
And I'm very
grateful.
466
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:44,745
Why are you here again?
467
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:48,282
Oh, my God!
I am so, so sorry.
468
00:17:48,350 --> 00:17:50,050
Uh, it's no problem.
Don't worry about it.
469
00:17:51,186 --> 00:17:52,553
What's that smell?
470
00:17:52,621 --> 00:17:54,455
It smells like
wet dog in here.
471
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:59,093
That is the... the
smell of backed up,
472
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,128
unreleased
genital essence.
473
00:18:01,196 --> 00:18:03,797
As I said, he's been
an amazing gentleman.
474
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,849
Well, I'd like
to propose a toast.
475
00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:07,785
To Brian and Kate.
476
00:18:07,852 --> 00:18:09,720
I know we just met,
but you seem
477
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,522
like you're really good
for our daughter.
478
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,157
And risking your
life for those kids?
479
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,458
You're a good
guy, Brian.
480
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,227
A really good guy.
481
00:18:16,294 --> 00:18:17,461
Wow. Thanks.
482
00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:21,966
What's that
thumping noise?
483
00:18:22,033 --> 00:18:23,701
- It's your tail.
- Stop wagging your tail.
484
00:18:23,768 --> 00:18:25,336
I can't help it.
Do something.
485
00:18:28,573 --> 00:18:30,124
Oh... oh, damn it.
486
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:31,792
I meant hold it,
not cut it off.
487
00:18:31,876 --> 00:18:32,943
You weren't specific.
488
00:18:32,994 --> 00:18:34,078
I've never done
this before.
489
00:18:34,129 --> 00:18:35,496
Are you okay, Brian?
490
00:18:35,580 --> 00:18:37,948
Yeah, I'm just so happy
to meet you both.
491
00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:41,752
What the hell
are you...
492
00:18:41,803 --> 00:18:43,921
I'm cauterizing your tail.
Trust me, I'm a nurse.
493
00:18:45,156 --> 00:18:46,223
Brian?
494
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,424
What's going on
over there?
495
00:18:47,492 --> 00:18:49,526
I think
they burned our dinner.
496
00:18:49,594 --> 00:18:51,078
Oh, God, it hurts.
It hurts, Stewie.
497
00:18:51,146 --> 00:18:52,596
Here's a little
morphine.
498
00:18:52,647 --> 00:18:55,032
What the hell? You're not
gonna stick me with that thing.
499
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,800
I don't think
that's a real nurse.
500
00:18:56,851 --> 00:18:58,352
Just hold still.
Pretend you're at the vet.
501
00:18:58,436 --> 00:18:59,637
Vet?
I hate the vet!
502
00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:02,589
There's a dog
in here!
503
00:19:04,392 --> 00:19:06,176
Yes! Okay?
504
00:19:06,244 --> 00:19:08,312
There's a dog in here.
I'm a dog!
505
00:19:13,618 --> 00:19:15,352
I'm so sorry, Kate.
506
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:17,221
I-I know you hate
dogs, and I...
507
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:19,757
I wanted to tell you--
I-I really did--
508
00:19:19,824 --> 00:19:21,592
but I-I just thought...
509
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,927
I thought, if we got to know
each other better first,
510
00:19:23,995 --> 00:19:25,913
you would eventually
be able to see past it.
511
00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:27,231
"See."
512
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,999
And I... I just... I
really care about you,
513
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:30,901
and I really want this
to work, and I'm...
514
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:32,970
I'm so sorry I didn't
tell you before.
515
00:19:33,021 --> 00:19:35,255
Can you ever forgive me?
516
00:19:35,323 --> 00:19:37,491
Do you think that you
can still be with me?
517
00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:39,760
You know what, Brian?
518
00:19:39,828 --> 00:19:42,046
I could have gotten over
the fact that you're a dog,
519
00:19:42,113 --> 00:19:43,764
because I really do
care about you
520
00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:45,499
and I feel like we had
a connection,
521
00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:47,835
but I can't get over the fact
that you lied to me.
522
00:19:47,902 --> 00:19:49,136
You screwed up, Brian.
523
00:19:49,204 --> 00:19:50,971
And now you're
going to have to watch me
524
00:19:51,039 --> 00:19:52,423
walk out that door.
525
00:20:07,389 --> 00:20:10,257
Well, it sounds
like I'm needed outside.
526
00:20:15,330 --> 00:20:17,031
Mom, what were
all those carpenters
527
00:20:17,098 --> 00:20:18,232
doing here today?
528
00:20:18,299 --> 00:20:20,034
Putting back our old
crappy stairs, Meg.
529
00:20:20,101 --> 00:20:21,568
I didn't have a choice.
530
00:20:21,653 --> 00:20:23,320
Yay! I love my old stairs!
531
00:20:25,423 --> 00:20:27,941
Uh-oh,
I forgot to cut Joe down.
532
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:30,511
Joe, what are you
doing up there?
533
00:20:30,578 --> 00:20:32,279
Enjoying Heaven, Bonnie.
534
00:20:32,347 --> 00:20:33,881
Come join me.
535
00:20:33,948 --> 00:20:36,116
There's a gun in
my nightstand.
536
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,137
Brian, I know
you're upset
537
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,538
about what happened with
Kate and everything,
538
00:20:41,606 --> 00:20:42,973
but I did have
one more thought.
539
00:20:43,041 --> 00:20:44,341
Yeah, what's that?
540
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,642
Well, since Kate is blind,
541
00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:47,344
you could probably just
do a different voice
542
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,079
and go out with her
all over again.
543
00:20:54,373 --> 00:20:55,773
Hey. Are you Kate?
544
00:20:55,798 --> 00:20:56,573
Yes.
545
00:20:56,629 --> 00:20:58,831
- Hey, it's Noah from JDate.
- Oh, my God! Hi!
546
00:20:58,898 --> 00:21:02,898
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
547
00:21:04,212 --> 00:21:07,781
Sync for WEBDL: VeRdiKT
[Addic7ed.com]
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