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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,867 --> 00:00:08,302
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,370 --> 00:00:12,090
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:12,174 --> 00:00:15,059
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:15,144 --> 00:00:18,546
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,597 --> 00:00:21,933
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,518
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,585 --> 00:00:24,885
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:27,410
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:27,435 --> 00:00:30,435
♪ Family Guy 10x07 ♪
Amish Guy
Original Air Date on November 27, 2011
11
00:00:30,436 --> 00:00:33,436
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:37,548
There it is,
you guys.
13
00:00:37,616 --> 00:00:39,984
The best roller coaster
in all of Quahog.
14
00:00:40,052 --> 00:00:43,221
The League of Extraordinary
Gentlemen: The Ride.
15
00:00:43,288 --> 00:00:45,289
You know, I think they kind
of figured that movie
16
00:00:45,357 --> 00:00:46,679
was going to turn out
to be bigger than it was.
17
00:00:46,704 --> 00:00:48,247
Oh, come on Lois,
it'll be awesome.
18
00:00:48,272 --> 00:00:49,724
It simulates all the fun of...
19
00:00:49,725 --> 00:00:51,925
of, um...
w-what was it now?
20
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,362
It was like a... like a
tall guy in a black hat
21
00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,604
and a cape or something?
22
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:56,706
Yeah, yeah, and there
was the guy
23
00:00:56,714 --> 00:00:58,605
with the
mask who wore a mask.
24
00:00:58,901 --> 00:01:00,268
And one guy
had an umbrella.
25
00:01:00,336 --> 00:01:02,304
Yeah, and I believe he
opened it at one point.
26
00:01:02,371 --> 00:01:03,939
Yeah, and it
wasn't overly long.
27
00:01:04,006 --> 00:01:05,407
Yeah, not-not
overly long.
28
00:01:05,475 --> 00:01:08,577
Sorry, sir, there's a weight
limit on this coaster.
29
00:01:08,644 --> 00:01:10,178
Oh, really,
what's the limit?
30
00:01:10,246 --> 00:01:11,713
The rule is you can't
look hilarious
31
00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,615
on this motor scooter.
32
00:01:16,569 --> 00:01:17,936
I'm sorry, there's
just no way.
33
00:01:22,692 --> 00:01:24,893
Big news out of Six Flags
Columbus today,
34
00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:26,461
as they unveil
what promises to be
35
00:01:26,529 --> 00:01:28,864
the largest roller coaster
in the United States.
36
00:01:28,931 --> 00:01:29,898
That's right, Joyce.
37
00:01:29,966 --> 00:01:31,600
They call it The Holocaust.
38
00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:33,635
The ride has several
Jewish groups up in arms...
39
00:01:33,703 --> 00:01:35,570
as they go over
the first rise.
40
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:37,572
No, I'm-I'm kidding.
41
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,174
They're actually pretty upset.
44
00:01:41,594 --> 00:01:43,345
but I never believed it
till right now.
45
00:01:43,412 --> 00:01:45,263
I have to ride
that ride.
46
00:01:45,331 --> 00:01:47,165
Peter, come on, they're not
going to let you that ride either.
47
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,533
You're overweight.
48
00:01:48,601 --> 00:01:49,968
Yeah, if you want to
ride that roller coaster,
49
00:01:50,036 --> 00:01:51,920
you're going to have
to go on a diet.
50
00:01:51,988 --> 00:01:53,121
A diet, huh?
51
00:01:53,189 --> 00:01:54,222
All right, well,
how's that work?
52
00:01:54,290 --> 00:01:55,607
Well, I suppose
you can start
53
00:01:55,675 --> 00:01:56,808
by keeping a
food journal,
54
00:01:56,876 --> 00:01:58,076
like Quagmire does.
55
00:01:58,144 --> 00:01:59,628
Yeah, in fact,
I got it right here.
56
00:01:59,695 --> 00:02:01,997
"Today I ate peaches...
ginger...
57
00:02:02,064 --> 00:02:03,899
honey... candy... olive..."
You know what?
58
00:02:03,966 --> 00:02:05,467
This is the wrong list.
59
00:02:05,535 --> 00:02:07,836
All right, if that's what it
takes to ride that ride,
60
00:02:07,904 --> 00:02:09,854
I am going on a diet.
61
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:11,556
And I'm not stopping
till I look as good as my
62
00:02:11,624 --> 00:02:13,808
great Aunt "Legs-Go-All-The-
Way-Up" Griffin.
63
00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:17,145
Hey, baby, do those legs
go all the way up?
64
00:02:17,213 --> 00:02:19,331
Why, yes, they do.
65
00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:21,516
Oh, my God!
You're a monster!
66
00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:22,734
Come back.
67
00:02:22,818 --> 00:02:24,569
My legs are shaved
like a little girl.
68
00:02:27,673 --> 00:02:29,941
Hey, what do you
got there, Peter?
69
00:02:30,009 --> 00:02:31,159
Rice cakes.
70
00:02:31,227 --> 00:02:32,544
Never had one, but
somebody told me
71
00:02:32,612 --> 00:02:34,529
this is a really good
way to start your diet.
72
00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,512
Who...
73
00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:52,781
who could think of such
a horrible thing?!
74
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,501
We know you not like
rice cake.
75
00:02:56,569 --> 00:02:59,204
♪ Ricey, ricey rice,
no one like rice cakes. ♪
76
00:03:02,875 --> 00:03:04,492
All right, Peter, the
most important thing
77
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,161
when you're on a diet
is willpower.
78
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,929
Now I'm going to put
this steaming pie
79
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,764
on the windowsill to cool.
80
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,533
Now no matter how many
beckoning fingers
81
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,768
that steam morphs into
or how badly it tries
82
00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:17,238
to sneak its way up your nose,
I want you to resist the urge
83
00:03:17,290 --> 00:03:18,773
to levitate
off the ground
84
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:19,908
and float towards the pie.
85
00:03:19,959 --> 00:03:21,242
Doesn't seem too hard.
86
00:03:21,294 --> 00:03:23,745
All right, go
stand over there.
87
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:30,001
No, you don't.
88
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:35,090
No, no,
you can't go in there.
89
00:03:35,141 --> 00:03:37,291
No, no, stay out of there.
That's my special area!
90
00:03:38,511 --> 00:03:40,462
No, stop!
91
00:03:40,529 --> 00:03:41,796
I'm saying no!
92
00:03:42,982 --> 00:03:44,699
What kind of pie is this?!
93
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:47,435
Peter, it's making me watch!
94
00:03:50,806 --> 00:03:53,425
Peter, I don't understand why
we have to drive all the way
95
00:03:53,492 --> 00:03:55,527
to Ohio to ride a
stupid roller coaster.
96
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,696
Yeah, besides, they're still
not going to let you on.
97
00:03:57,763 --> 00:03:59,447
You haven't actually
lost any weight.
98
00:03:59,498 --> 00:04:02,434
Oh, I think my lithe figure
would suggest otherwise.
99
00:04:02,501 --> 00:04:04,502
A girdle is not a substitute
for weight loss, Peter.
100
00:04:04,587 --> 00:04:05,704
Hey, I'm riding
that roller coaster,
101
00:04:05,771 --> 00:04:07,172
and that's all
there is to it.
102
00:04:07,256 --> 00:04:08,473
Now let's get out of here.
103
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:09,974
This thing's squishing
all my organs around.
104
00:04:16,265 --> 00:04:19,000
There it is, kids.
Columbus, Ohio.
105
00:04:19,068 --> 00:04:20,602
Now remember, there
are no rules
106
00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:22,470
about who can wear
stretch pants here,
107
00:04:22,538 --> 00:04:24,439
so you're going to see
some pretty shocking things.
108
00:04:24,506 --> 00:04:27,142
Brian, is this
our vacation?
109
00:04:27,193 --> 00:04:28,443
Yeah.
110
00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:30,011
Oh.
111
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,780
Are we trash?
112
00:04:31,847 --> 00:04:32,947
Kind of.
113
00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:33,982
Oh.
114
00:04:40,306 --> 00:04:42,290
I'm sorry, sir. You're too fat
to ride the coaster.
115
00:04:42,358 --> 00:04:43,825
Aw, darn it.
116
00:04:43,893 --> 00:04:45,694
Yeah, why don't you go back
to your pond, hippo?
117
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,129
How about me, sir?
118
00:04:48,197 --> 00:04:49,798
Am I too fat to ride?
119
00:04:49,865 --> 00:04:50,999
No, you don't seem to be.
120
00:04:53,869 --> 00:04:55,704
Well, you got
to hand it to him.
121
00:04:55,771 --> 00:04:57,605
He had a dream
and he made it happen.
122
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:58,807
That's what
the Wright Brothers did.
123
00:04:58,874 --> 00:05:01,643
So, how's your boyfriend,
Orville, doing?
124
00:05:01,711 --> 00:05:03,178
Ex-boyfriend,
if you don't mind.
125
00:05:03,245 --> 00:05:04,979
And who cares?
126
00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:06,681
He's probably off
in a barn somewhere
127
00:05:06,749 --> 00:05:08,717
working on a contraption
with that weird brother of his.
128
00:05:08,784 --> 00:05:09,901
Ew.
129
00:05:11,887 --> 00:05:14,439
Ha-ha, bitch.
130
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,357
You're so pretty. I miss you.
131
00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,972
Well, this has given me
a lot to think about.
132
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,508
My son is dead!
133
00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:40,098
We are going to have
to send that family money.
134
00:05:40,182 --> 00:05:41,249
I know we are.
135
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,600
Mom, I'm hungry.
136
00:05:42,685 --> 00:05:44,252
Can we stop
and get some food?
137
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,020
Well, I guess it is
close to dinnertime.
138
00:05:46,088 --> 00:05:47,088
Chris, Stewie,
you hungry?
139
00:05:51,310 --> 00:05:52,777
What are you looking at?
140
00:05:52,862 --> 00:05:54,229
You going to propose?
141
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,830
What?
Yeah, exactly.
142
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,232
"What?" Eyes front.
143
00:05:58,534 --> 00:05:59,467
What the hell?!
144
00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:08,376
Looks like it's the radiator.
145
00:06:08,444 --> 00:06:10,895
Well, we're just going to have
to find a local mechanic.
146
00:06:10,963 --> 00:06:12,580
On a Friday evening?
147
00:06:12,631 --> 00:06:14,015
I don't think we're going to
have any luck till Monday.
148
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:16,618
Besides, probably not a lot
of mechanics around here.
149
00:06:21,157 --> 00:06:23,575
So, we're stuck here?
150
00:06:23,642 --> 00:06:25,260
Hey, Lois, you see
that barn out there?
151
00:06:25,327 --> 00:06:26,694
You know who
it was built by?
152
00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:28,296
♪ By... Mennonites. ♪
153
00:06:28,364 --> 00:06:31,266
Well, I guess we better see if
there's a hotel or something.
154
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:33,568
I can't believe we're
stuck in Amish country.
155
00:06:33,636 --> 00:06:35,069
Yeah, I thought
something was "a-mish."
156
00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:48,196
Hey, uh, excuse me, fella?
157
00:06:48,197 --> 00:06:49,764
Yeah, we're looking for a room.
158
00:06:49,832 --> 00:06:51,666
Are ye indeed, outsiders?
159
00:06:51,734 --> 00:06:54,402
We do not see many of
your folk in these parts,
160
00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:56,905
but we welcome all of God's
children in their hour of need.
161
00:06:56,973 --> 00:06:59,491
Well, actually, I think we need
it for more than an hour.
162
00:06:59,559 --> 00:07:01,660
Or do we, right, Lois?
163
00:07:01,727 --> 00:07:04,062
I-I do not last very long.
164
00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:10,585
Ugh, creepy. What's this?
165
00:07:10,653 --> 00:07:12,237
It's an Amish doll.
166
00:07:12,305 --> 00:07:13,588
They're not allowed
to have faces.
167
00:07:13,656 --> 00:07:14,956
Has something to
do with vanity.
168
00:07:15,024 --> 00:07:16,575
Looks like a cross-dressing
Cobra Commander.
169
00:07:16,642 --> 00:07:18,109
Who?
170
00:07:18,177 --> 00:07:19,711
Cobra Commander.
He's the head of Cobra.
171
00:07:19,779 --> 00:07:21,446
The bad guys from G.I. Joe.
172
00:07:21,514 --> 00:07:23,215
The guys who oddly
shout the name
173
00:07:23,282 --> 00:07:26,284
of their terrorist organization
as they're attacking.
174
00:07:26,352 --> 00:07:28,620
Guys, we're under attack.
By who?
175
00:07:28,688 --> 00:07:29,588
I don't know.
176
00:07:34,293 --> 00:07:36,912
Cobra!
177
00:07:36,979 --> 00:07:38,113
Oh, it's Cobra.
178
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:39,681
Oh, of course.
179
00:07:39,749 --> 00:07:41,833
Look, they have the pictures
of the snakes on their planes.
180
00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:43,435
Duke, what have I been
saying for years?
181
00:07:43,502 --> 00:07:45,537
What makes a good
terrorist organization?
182
00:07:45,605 --> 00:07:47,539
Brand recognition.
Brand recognition.
183
00:07:47,607 --> 00:07:49,591
Mom, I can't stay here.
184
00:07:49,659 --> 00:07:52,193
There's no electricity, no
telephones, it's horrible.
185
00:07:52,261 --> 00:07:53,495
Excuse me.
186
00:07:53,563 --> 00:07:56,147
I assure you,
our community is quite pleasant.
187
00:07:56,232 --> 00:07:58,133
Perhaps I could
show thee around.
188
00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,801
Okay.
189
00:07:59,869 --> 00:08:01,102
My name is Eli.
190
00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:02,737
My parents run the inn.
191
00:08:02,805 --> 00:08:05,473
If there is anything we can do
to make your room more plain,
192
00:08:05,541 --> 00:08:06,741
do not be afraid to ask.
193
00:08:06,809 --> 00:08:08,093
Ah, we'll be all right.
194
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,794
A hotel in Amish country
can't be any worse
195
00:08:09,862 --> 00:08:11,296
than staying in a youth hostel.
196
00:08:11,364 --> 00:08:12,647
Hi, I'd like a room.
197
00:08:12,715 --> 00:08:14,549
Uh, preferably one
where I have to sleep
198
00:08:14,617 --> 00:08:16,351
with my bag
taped to my body.
199
00:08:16,419 --> 00:08:18,920
We have one where some Italian
backpackers have laid out
200
00:08:18,988 --> 00:08:20,755
every item of clothing
they own on all of the beds.
201
00:08:20,823 --> 00:08:22,023
Oh, perfect.
202
00:08:22,091 --> 00:08:24,042
Will my bunkmates be
constantly talking about me
203
00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:25,143
in a foreign language?
204
00:08:25,211 --> 00:08:26,878
Yes, they will, sir.
Oh, great.
205
00:08:26,946 --> 00:08:28,747
Uh, also, I'm going to have
some mail delivered here,
206
00:08:28,814 --> 00:08:31,249
and I want it to sit in
that box for four years.
207
00:08:31,317 --> 00:08:33,018
Oh, and what street
is the bathroom on?
208
00:08:36,305 --> 00:08:37,989
So, what do you do
for fun around here?
209
00:08:38,074 --> 00:08:40,825
We do chores and we watch
other people do chores.
210
00:08:40,910 --> 00:08:42,143
Sounds kind of boring.
211
00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:44,496
Alas, there are times
when I feel as if
212
00:08:44,580 --> 00:08:46,114
there is much of life
I am missing.
213
00:08:46,165 --> 00:08:48,650
Yeah, it'd be tough
having no technology.
214
00:08:48,701 --> 00:08:50,168
I don't think I could
live without my iPhone.
215
00:08:50,252 --> 00:08:51,819
You have an iPhone?
216
00:08:51,871 --> 00:08:53,321
Yeah. You've heard of it?
217
00:08:53,372 --> 00:08:55,540
Yes, but only because
people sometimes search
218
00:08:55,608 --> 00:08:57,325
for Amish farms
on their iPhones.
219
00:08:57,376 --> 00:08:58,543
Here comes one now.
220
00:09:08,871 --> 00:09:10,955
Thanks for a fun evening, Eli.
221
00:09:11,023 --> 00:09:13,458
And-and thanks
for being so nice to me.
222
00:09:13,526 --> 00:09:15,352
I think you are the
most fascinating girl
223
00:09:15,377 --> 00:09:16,577
I have ever met, Meg.
224
00:09:19,065 --> 00:09:22,100
Here. I want you
to have this.
225
00:09:22,168 --> 00:09:23,601
Your iPhone?
226
00:09:23,669 --> 00:09:24,936
Yeah.
227
00:09:25,004 --> 00:09:28,023
I made you a playlist
of songs that I like.
228
00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:29,774
Who is this I am hearing?
229
00:09:29,842 --> 00:09:31,009
It's Avril Lavigne.
230
00:09:31,077 --> 00:09:32,427
Why does she shout at me?
231
00:09:32,495 --> 00:09:33,795
I don't know.
232
00:09:33,863 --> 00:09:36,064
Most of my music I just
get pressured to buy.
233
00:09:36,132 --> 00:09:37,632
Thank you for
this gift, Meg.
234
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:47,492
Eli! What are you doing
with that outsider?
235
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:49,494
Her name is Meg, Father.
236
00:09:49,562 --> 00:09:51,062
And I was just showing her
our community.
237
00:09:51,147 --> 00:09:52,514
You stay away from her.
238
00:09:52,581 --> 00:09:53,748
She will try
to corrupt you.
239
00:09:53,816 --> 00:09:55,250
That is not true, Father.
240
00:09:55,317 --> 00:09:56,418
Meg is wonderful.
241
00:09:56,485 --> 00:09:58,370
She is an outsider.
242
00:09:58,437 --> 00:10:00,221
She does not follow
the one true path.
243
00:10:00,289 --> 00:10:02,273
You are not to see
this girl again.
244
00:10:02,341 --> 00:10:04,209
Do you understand?
I forbid it.
245
00:10:04,276 --> 00:10:06,528
Yes, sir.
246
00:10:06,595 --> 00:10:09,564
Now come home at once.
247
00:10:09,632 --> 00:10:12,584
And, as for you,
248
00:10:12,668 --> 00:10:15,954
I suggest you stay away
from my son, you harlot.
249
00:10:22,745 --> 00:10:25,413
Hey, there, young one,
why so sad?
250
00:10:25,481 --> 00:10:28,016
It's just that I really like
this boy, but his dad...
251
00:10:28,084 --> 00:10:29,084
Oh, look out.
252
00:10:30,286 --> 00:10:31,519
Sorry, there.
253
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:32,804
Didn't realize
how long it'd been
254
00:10:32,888 --> 00:10:34,823
since Ol' Dumper
did his business.
255
00:10:34,890 --> 00:10:36,491
He'll be done soon enough.
256
00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,493
Oh, maybe not.
257
00:10:38,561 --> 00:10:40,628
Doesn't sound
like pooping, does it?
258
00:10:40,696 --> 00:10:42,330
Sounds more like someone
259
00:10:42,398 --> 00:10:44,432
dropping sandwiches
off a rooftop.
260
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,134
Watch out below, right?
261
00:10:46,202 --> 00:10:47,769
Look like Hacky Sacks.
262
00:10:47,837 --> 00:10:49,971
You'll be sorry
if you kick 'em, though.
263
00:10:50,039 --> 00:10:52,774
All righty, well he seems
to be all done now.
264
00:10:52,842 --> 00:10:53,942
You have a good evening...
265
00:10:54,009 --> 00:10:55,276
Oh, my goodness.
266
00:10:55,344 --> 00:10:57,078
He must have gotten into
the chicken feed again.
267
00:10:57,146 --> 00:10:58,680
You'd think they'd know
268
00:10:58,748 --> 00:11:01,583
it wasn't in their diet,
but this is how they find out.
269
00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:03,351
You may want
to close your mouth.
270
00:11:13,191 --> 00:11:14,908
Meg, what's wrong?
271
00:11:14,976 --> 00:11:16,610
Eli's father,
Ezekiel, said
272
00:11:16,678 --> 00:11:19,263
that I can't see him
anymore!
273
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,899
He said I was trying
to corrupt his son!
274
00:11:21,966 --> 00:11:23,317
He did, did he?
275
00:11:23,385 --> 00:11:24,501
Well, that does it!
276
00:11:24,569 --> 00:11:26,704
We are gonna teach
this town how to dance!
277
00:11:26,771 --> 00:11:28,856
Oh, Meg, I'm so sorry.
278
00:11:28,923 --> 00:11:30,924
I'd try to talk to Eli's father
for you, honey,
279
00:11:30,992 --> 00:11:32,726
but I don't know
if it's my place.
280
00:11:32,794 --> 00:11:34,111
Ezekiel wouldn't listen
to you anyway, Lois.
281
00:11:34,179 --> 00:11:35,379
You're a woman.
282
00:11:35,447 --> 00:11:37,381
These people live in
a patriarchal society.
283
00:11:37,449 --> 00:11:39,917
The only member of our family
whose word would carry
284
00:11:39,984 --> 00:11:41,652
any weight
would be Meg's father.
285
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,388
Dad, will you talk
to Ezekiel?
286
00:11:44,456 --> 00:11:45,672
Will you tell him
287
00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:47,241
I'm not trying to
corrupt his son?
288
00:11:47,308 --> 00:11:48,275
Please?
289
00:11:48,343 --> 00:11:49,643
All right, I'll do it.
290
00:11:49,711 --> 00:11:51,412
But don't expect
any miracles.
291
00:11:51,479 --> 00:11:52,579
I'm not good
with confrontation.
292
00:11:52,647 --> 00:11:53,981
Like when I got stuck
293
00:11:54,048 --> 00:11:55,449
behind that giraffe
at the ballgame.
294
00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:57,050
Yeah! Nice hit!
295
00:11:57,118 --> 00:11:58,552
Frozen rope!
Awesome!
296
00:11:58,620 --> 00:11:59,586
What just happened?
297
00:11:59,654 --> 00:12:01,155
Ground rule double! Whoo!
298
00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:02,389
I couldn't
even see it.
299
00:12:02,457 --> 00:12:03,657
Yeah, it was something.
300
00:12:03,725 --> 00:12:05,459
Ducks on a pond!
Let's bring 'em in!
301
00:12:05,527 --> 00:12:06,794
Could you please
sit down?
302
00:12:06,861 --> 00:12:08,429
I am sitting down.
You sit up.
303
00:12:08,496 --> 00:12:09,530
I am sitting up,
304
00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:11,265
but I still can't see
a thing.
305
00:12:11,332 --> 00:12:12,499
Yeah, sounds
like a "you" problem.
306
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:13,667
Let's go, Sox!
307
00:12:16,104 --> 00:12:17,304
Before we commence
308
00:12:17,372 --> 00:12:20,841
with Samuel Fisher's
barn raising, let us pray.
309
00:12:20,909 --> 00:12:22,242
Dear Amish Lord,
310
00:12:22,310 --> 00:12:25,712
thou looketh sternly down
upon us thine flock,
311
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,915
even though we did not
do anything wrong
312
00:12:27,982 --> 00:12:31,518
and have been doing
chores like (bleep) crazy,
313
00:12:31,586 --> 00:12:34,521
please make us humble,
and deliver us more hardship,
314
00:12:34,589 --> 00:12:37,057
that we may get thick,
calloused hands,
315
00:12:37,125 --> 00:12:39,026
much larger
than other people's.
316
00:12:39,093 --> 00:12:41,829
And grant that we become dull,
like Eric Bana,
317
00:12:41,896 --> 00:12:43,497
who we have never seen,
318
00:12:43,565 --> 00:12:44,998
but are just going
by reputation
319
00:12:45,066 --> 00:12:46,934
because it is your will.
320
00:12:47,001 --> 00:12:49,336
We solemnly believe
that although humans
321
00:12:49,404 --> 00:12:51,705
have been around
for a million years,
322
00:12:51,773 --> 00:12:53,307
you feel strongly
that they had
323
00:12:53,374 --> 00:12:55,242
just the right amount
of technology
324
00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:58,111
between 1835 and 1850;
325
00:12:58,179 --> 00:13:00,347
not too little,
not too much.
326
00:13:00,415 --> 00:13:02,349
Please deliver us
from Thomas Edison,
327
00:13:02,417 --> 00:13:04,852
the worst human being
who ever lived.
328
00:13:04,919 --> 00:13:06,787
And protect us
from those who laugh
329
00:13:06,855 --> 00:13:08,856
at our buggies or our hats
330
00:13:08,923 --> 00:13:10,824
and deliver us
from mustaches.
331
00:13:10,892 --> 00:13:12,876
Amen.
332
00:13:12,944 --> 00:13:14,094
Hey, uh, Ezekiel?
333
00:13:14,179 --> 00:13:15,979
You must be Mr. Griffin.
334
00:13:16,047 --> 00:13:19,049
Look, I-I know you guys are busy
with your barn raising and all,
335
00:13:19,117 --> 00:13:21,285
but, um, you know,
I just wanted to tell you
336
00:13:21,352 --> 00:13:23,320
how much my daughter Meg loves
your boy Eli.
337
00:13:23,388 --> 00:13:25,873
I promise you, she ain't trying
to corrupt him or nothing.
338
00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:27,558
Mr. Griffin,
with all due respect,
339
00:13:27,609 --> 00:13:29,109
we live in two
different worlds.
340
00:13:29,194 --> 00:13:32,312
I must do what is best
for my son... and I have.
341
00:13:32,380 --> 00:13:34,047
Hey, how do we know
what's gonna happen?
342
00:13:34,115 --> 00:13:36,049
For all we know,
Meg might want to Amish herself.
343
00:13:36,117 --> 00:13:38,352
I had not considered this.
344
00:13:38,419 --> 00:13:41,121
I was verily preoccupied
with Eli's corruption.
345
00:13:41,189 --> 00:13:43,140
Plus, it is the time
of the month
346
00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:44,775
when Eli's mother
is on the burlap.
347
00:13:44,843 --> 00:13:46,877
So whaddaya say,
let the kids give it a shot?
348
00:13:46,945 --> 00:13:48,745
Perhaps, Mr. Griffin.
Perhaps.
349
00:13:48,813 --> 00:13:49,946
Good.
350
00:13:49,998 --> 00:13:51,465
Now on another note,
I notice you don't have
351
00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:53,333
a damn lick of music
in this town.
352
00:13:53,401 --> 00:13:55,435
We do not believe in
such ostentations.
353
00:13:55,503 --> 00:13:58,639
Well, I am about
to change your mind.
354
00:13:58,706 --> 00:14:01,542
Introducing rock 'n' roll!
355
00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:02,876
♪ Whoo! ♪
356
00:14:02,944 --> 00:14:07,831
♪ I'm on a highway
to hell! ♪
357
00:14:07,899 --> 00:14:10,701
♪ Highway to hell! ♪
358
00:14:10,768 --> 00:14:12,152
♪ I'm on the high... ♪
359
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:14,638
You are banished from
our community at once!
360
00:14:14,706 --> 00:14:16,707
And take your whore
daughter with you!
361
00:14:20,144 --> 00:14:21,411
How did it go, Dad?
362
00:14:21,479 --> 00:14:22,746
Very well, Meg.
363
00:14:22,814 --> 00:14:24,814
My recollection is that
it went extremely well.
364
00:14:24,866 --> 00:14:27,601
Really?! Oh, my God, Dad,
that's fantastic!
365
00:14:27,669 --> 00:14:29,202
So I-I can see Eli again?
366
00:14:29,270 --> 00:14:30,404
Griffins!
367
00:14:34,509 --> 00:14:36,360
What's going on here?
368
00:14:36,427 --> 00:14:37,995
Your family must leave
our community
369
00:14:38,062 --> 00:14:40,230
and return to the outside world.
370
00:14:40,298 --> 00:14:41,398
Dad, what's happening?
371
00:14:41,466 --> 00:14:42,900
I thought you talked to him.
372
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:45,802
Sir, please, whatever your
quarrel is with my husband,
373
00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:47,337
I'm sure it's
probably justified,
374
00:14:47,405 --> 00:14:50,641
but I'm begging you, don't
punish the children for it.
375
00:14:50,708 --> 00:14:51,909
They're innocent in all this.
376
00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:53,210
Innocent, are they?
377
00:14:53,278 --> 00:14:55,562
I found this
in Eli's corn hole!
378
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:57,097
Well, I... His what?
379
00:14:57,165 --> 00:14:59,833
A compartment in Eli's room
where he stores his corn.
380
00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:02,119
Oh. Well, okay,
whatever you say.
381
00:15:02,186 --> 00:15:03,420
Look, Ezekiel, we would love
382
00:15:03,488 --> 00:15:04,721
to go back to the city,
believe me.
383
00:15:04,789 --> 00:15:06,523
I-I haven't had a drink
in three days.
384
00:15:06,591 --> 00:15:08,058
But our car broke down.
385
00:15:08,126 --> 00:15:10,193
We-we can't go anywhere
until it gets fixed.
386
00:15:10,261 --> 00:15:12,913
I have arranged
to have that taken care of.
387
00:15:17,335 --> 00:15:19,503
This ride's gonna be
so frustrating.
388
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,971
I know.
These horses are
389
00:15:21,039 --> 00:15:23,240
so slow.
Sexy.
390
00:15:23,308 --> 00:15:24,641
Sexy.
391
00:15:27,779 --> 00:15:30,046
Good-bye,
Abraham Lincoln people.
392
00:15:34,519 --> 00:15:35,602
I'm sorry, Meg.
393
00:15:35,687 --> 00:15:38,772
Eli was the best boy
I'll ever meet.
394
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:41,158
And now I'll never
see him again.
395
00:15:41,225 --> 00:15:43,944
Yes, you will, Meg.
396
00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:44,995
Eli.
397
00:15:45,062 --> 00:15:46,913
Eli? What are you doing here?
398
00:15:46,981 --> 00:15:48,732
I could not let you
leave without me, Meg.
399
00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:49,950
I love you.
400
00:15:50,034 --> 00:15:52,903
I love you, too.
401
00:15:54,622 --> 00:15:56,623
Hey, Lois, watch me lay rubber
in front of these losers.
402
00:15:56,708 --> 00:15:57,708
Hyah!
403
00:16:00,795 --> 00:16:03,180
Yeah! Choke on that, nerds.
404
00:16:08,569 --> 00:16:10,603
Eli, I agree
that your father was being
405
00:16:10,671 --> 00:16:11,838
somewhat unreasonable,
406
00:16:11,906 --> 00:16:14,140
but I don't think
running away is the answer.
407
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:16,209
I know, Mrs. Griffin.
And I am sorry.
408
00:16:16,277 --> 00:16:18,111
But I just could
not bear the thought
409
00:16:18,179 --> 00:16:19,629
of never seeing Meg again.
410
00:16:19,697 --> 00:16:21,447
You ever seen one
of these, Eli?
411
00:16:21,515 --> 00:16:23,082
It's a Coleco
football game.
412
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,450
Pretty mind-
blowing, huh?
413
00:16:24,518 --> 00:16:25,618
You know what?
414
00:16:25,686 --> 00:16:27,904
This is garbage to us.
415
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,507
What the hell is that?
416
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,331
Holy crap! Who did this?
417
00:16:38,399 --> 00:16:40,116
It must have been my father.
418
00:16:40,184 --> 00:16:41,885
This is how
the Amish declare a feud.
419
00:16:41,952 --> 00:16:43,403
But I thought they
were nonviolent.
420
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:44,621
We are,
421
00:16:44,688 --> 00:16:47,156
but Peter must have
really pissed off my dad.
422
00:16:47,224 --> 00:16:48,591
Hey, who raked the leaves?
423
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:49,759
And look,
somebody mowed the lawn.
424
00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:51,227
I was supposed to do that.
425
00:16:51,312 --> 00:16:53,496
Ha-ha! I have done your chores
426
00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:55,765
to rob you of the joy
of doing chores.
427
00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:57,033
You bastard.
428
00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:00,353
Peter, we don't have
a choice.
429
00:17:00,421 --> 00:17:01,821
We've gotta bring
Eli back.
430
00:17:01,889 --> 00:17:03,256
Oh, no, we don't.
431
00:17:03,324 --> 00:17:04,791
What are you talking about?
432
00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:07,093
We-we can't be part of a feud
with the Amish.
433
00:17:07,161 --> 00:17:08,561
I didn't start
this thing, Lois,
434
00:17:08,629 --> 00:17:10,730
but I'm gonna finish it.
435
00:17:13,551 --> 00:17:15,818
Joe, go round up Quagmire
436
00:17:15,886 --> 00:17:17,854
and all the modern-day
technology you can find.
437
00:17:17,922 --> 00:17:20,156
We are going to war.
438
00:17:20,224 --> 00:17:21,991
Oh. Oh, hey, Bonnie.
439
00:17:22,059 --> 00:17:24,027
Is Joe there?
440
00:17:24,094 --> 00:17:26,496
Well, can I leave
a message for him?
441
00:17:26,564 --> 00:17:30,233
Yeah, it's what I said before
about the-the war thing.
442
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,504
All right, men,
this is it.
443
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:54,173
Technology versus
old-timey wooden stuff.
444
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,708
Let's hit 'em hard.
445
00:17:55,776 --> 00:17:56,709
What, again, was
the nature
446
00:17:56,777 --> 00:17:58,111
of your beef
with them?
447
00:17:58,178 --> 00:17:59,412
I don't know.
Something about
448
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,563
a roller coaster.
Let's go.
449
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,426
Apples... fire!
450
00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:19,515
Ah! Damn it!
Ow! God!
451
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,517
Quilters... advance!
452
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:29,776
Oh! Oh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh! Oh! Ooh! Oh!
453
00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:31,143
I bet this hurts so much!
454
00:18:33,664 --> 00:18:35,815
Ow! Damn it! I'm bleeding!
455
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:37,417
Uhp, now it's an AIDS quilt.
456
00:18:45,726 --> 00:18:47,760
Suck on this,
you furry little weirdoes!
457
00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:14,237
Enough of this crap.
458
00:19:15,356 --> 00:19:16,189
Ezekiel.
459
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:22,979
Call off your boys and let's you
and me finish this man-to-man.
460
00:19:23,047 --> 00:19:25,498
Indeed.
Prepare for a goodly beating.
461
00:19:30,671 --> 00:19:32,422
Dad, stop.
Leave him alone.
462
00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:34,390
Father, what are you doing?
463
00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:35,958
I am going to
kill that man.
464
00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:37,727
That man
is my girlfriend, Meg.
465
00:19:39,213 --> 00:19:41,564
This is against everything
our people stand for.
466
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:43,449
Will you listen to me
for one moment?
467
00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:46,419
You were so worried
about these outsiders
468
00:19:46,487 --> 00:19:48,554
coming into our community
and corrupting me.
469
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,323
But look at yourself.
470
00:19:50,391 --> 00:19:52,959
You're the one who's allowed
yourself to be corrupted.
471
00:19:53,027 --> 00:19:56,162
God in heaven...
472
00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:57,630
you are right.
473
00:19:57,698 --> 00:20:00,199
I am deeply ashamed.
474
00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:02,485
I only wanted to protect you.
475
00:20:02,553 --> 00:20:04,020
I know you did, Father.
476
00:20:04,088 --> 00:20:06,989
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
477
00:20:07,057 --> 00:20:10,693
Son, it is your life to live.
478
00:20:10,761 --> 00:20:12,962
I must accept
the life you choose.
479
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,918
I choose to stay here.
480
00:20:18,986 --> 00:20:20,303
What?!
What?!
481
00:20:20,370 --> 00:20:23,106
Meg, you are the
most beautiful woman
482
00:20:23,173 --> 00:20:24,440
I will ever know.
483
00:20:24,508 --> 00:20:26,559
You have shown me
so many wondrous things
484
00:20:26,610 --> 00:20:29,729
that have opened my eyes
to the world beyond my home.
485
00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:32,715
But this is where I belong.
486
00:20:32,783 --> 00:20:34,417
I'm sorry
if this upsets you, Meg.
487
00:20:34,485 --> 00:20:36,753
I love you, Eli.
488
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,387
I'll always love you.
489
00:20:38,455 --> 00:20:40,723
If this is what you
have to do,
490
00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:43,059
then all I can say is...
491
00:20:43,127 --> 00:20:45,027
I'll never forget you.
492
00:20:48,365 --> 00:20:51,801
I am sorry there has been
conflict between us.
493
00:20:51,869 --> 00:20:53,503
Allow me to make amends.
494
00:20:53,570 --> 00:20:56,973
Please help yourself
to anything in my corn hole.
495
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,207
Hey, don't worry
about it.
496
00:20:58,275 --> 00:20:59,675
We can still be pals.
497
00:20:59,743 --> 00:21:01,644
And I know just
the place for us
498
00:21:01,712 --> 00:21:03,813
to go and blow off
all this steam.
499
00:21:03,838 --> 00:21:07,838
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
500
00:21:07,859 --> 00:21:12,426
♪ We went dancing
across the USA ♪
501
00:21:12,427 --> 00:21:20,280
♪ On that crazy King's Highway ♪
502
00:21:20,281 --> 00:21:24,217
♪ Too much passion ♪
503
00:21:24,285 --> 00:21:28,121
♪ Too much play ♪
504
00:21:28,189 --> 00:21:33,550
♪ We went dancing, dancing,
dancing across the USA ♪
505
00:21:33,575 --> 00:21:36,694
♪ We went dancing, dancing,
dancing across the USA ♪
506
00:21:36,719 --> 00:21:40,276
♪ We went dancing, dancing,
dancing across the USA ♪
507
00:21:40,301 --> 00:21:42,884
♪ We went dancing, dancing,
dancing across the USA ♪
36365
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