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1
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,874
- Lois, you have a gray hair.
- What?
2
00:00:36,942 --> 00:00:38,242
Inch-and-a-half left of your part.
3
00:00:39,645 --> 00:00:41,178
Oh, my God, you're right!
4
00:00:41,246 --> 00:00:43,414
You know, I don't mind so
much that you're aging,
5
00:00:43,482 --> 00:00:45,650
it's just the way you're
shoving it down my throat.
6
00:00:45,717 --> 00:00:46,751
Screw you, Peter.
7
00:00:46,818 --> 00:00:49,320
Not today! Oh, wow!
8
00:00:49,388 --> 00:00:51,756
Mom, Dad, is it okay if I
invite my new boyfriend
9
00:00:51,823 --> 00:00:52,923
over for dinner tonight?
10
00:00:52,991 --> 00:00:54,125
Your what?!
11
00:00:54,192 --> 00:00:56,127
Yes, I share your
mother's skepticism.
12
00:00:56,194 --> 00:00:57,695
No, really, I have a boyfriend.
13
00:00:57,763 --> 00:00:59,497
His name is Anthony.
14
00:00:59,564 --> 00:01:01,298
Well, Meg,
if you're telling us the truth,
15
00:01:01,366 --> 00:01:02,633
I just hope to God
16
00:01:02,701 --> 00:01:04,068
he's an improvement
over the last one.
17
00:01:04,136 --> 00:01:06,170
Thanks, Mrs. Griffin,
that was delicious.
18
00:01:06,238 --> 00:01:07,204
You're welcome, Justin.
19
00:01:07,272 --> 00:01:08,739
It was a pleasure to meet you.
20
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,074
Come on. I'll take you home.
21
00:01:10,142 --> 00:01:11,542
Okay, babe.
22
00:01:15,047 --> 00:01:17,715
He ain't got no legs.
23
00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:26,190
Jolly Farm?
24
00:01:26,258 --> 00:01:29,660
I can't believe you
still watch this crap.
25
00:01:29,728 --> 00:01:32,463
Man, how can you still
watch this, huh?
26
00:01:32,531 --> 00:01:33,864
Huh?!
27
00:01:33,932 --> 00:01:37,001
You know, I can tell you've
already been drinking,
28
00:01:37,069 --> 00:01:38,636
and I...
I just don't want to engage.
29
00:01:38,704 --> 00:01:39,937
Besides, you can learn a lot
30
00:01:40,005 --> 00:01:41,372
from British nursery rhymes.
31
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:45,710
♪ Ring a ring o' roses,
a pocketful of posies, ♪
32
00:01:45,777 --> 00:01:50,147
♪ ashes, ashes, we all fall down! ♪
33
00:01:50,215 --> 00:01:52,917
See that was actually written
about the bubonic plague.
34
00:01:52,984 --> 00:01:54,185
Oh, didn't know that.
35
00:01:54,252 --> 00:01:55,720
Ooh, ooh,
this next one's my favorite.
36
00:01:55,787 --> 00:01:57,655
It's about the Pan Am
flight from Lockerbie.
37
00:01:57,723 --> 00:02:00,891
♪ It's raining luggage
and babies and limbs ♪
38
00:02:00,959 --> 00:02:03,828
♪ and Daddy doesn't come home! ♪
39
00:02:03,895 --> 00:02:06,530
Yay! It's fun to be a child.
40
00:02:06,598 --> 00:02:07,932
Hey, did you read this?
41
00:02:07,999 --> 00:02:09,767
They're gonna be making
an American version
42
00:02:09,835 --> 00:02:11,769
of Jolly Farm right
here in Quahog.
43
00:02:11,837 --> 00:02:14,205
Oh, my God,
I didn't see that! Gimme!
44
00:02:14,272 --> 00:02:16,807
Good lord, you're right,
an American Jolly Farm!
45
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,175
Oh, there's no picture.
46
00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:19,810
I like the stories
that have pictures.
47
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:22,046
Ooh, like this one.
48
00:02:22,114 --> 00:02:25,015
"Seven Dead in Mumbai."
I like their hats.
49
00:02:35,694 --> 00:02:37,862
Lois, get in here!
50
00:02:37,929 --> 00:02:40,131
Meg's boyfriend.
51
00:02:41,833 --> 00:02:44,468
But there's...
there's nothing wrong with him.
52
00:02:44,536 --> 00:02:46,815
- Mom, where's my...?
- Shh!
53
00:02:49,274 --> 00:02:51,976
Quagmire, get over here.
You gotta see this.
54
00:02:55,647 --> 00:02:57,815
He seems to be completely normal.
55
00:02:57,883 --> 00:03:00,151
Oh...!
56
00:03:00,218 --> 00:03:02,253
I can honestly say
for the first time
57
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,922
that I am attracted
to our daughter.
58
00:03:04,990 --> 00:03:06,624
This must be what other
fathers feel like.
59
00:03:06,691 --> 00:03:09,426
This was worth the 500-mile drive.
60
00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:14,131
Well, it was very nice
meeting you, Anthony.
61
00:03:14,199 --> 00:03:15,499
You, too, Mrs. Griffin.
62
00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:16,967
Thanks for having
me over for dinner.
63
00:03:17,035 --> 00:03:18,269
Come on, Peter.
64
00:03:18,336 --> 00:03:20,371
I think Anthony wants
some time alone with Meg.
65
00:03:20,438 --> 00:03:23,474
Who doesn't want some time
alone with Meg these days?
66
00:03:23,542 --> 00:03:25,142
Right, Meg?
67
00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:27,344
Has anybody ever told
you you're pretty enough
68
00:03:27,412 --> 00:03:28,979
to be a movie star, Mrs. Griffin?
69
00:03:29,047 --> 00:03:31,448
Oh, my goodness.
Well, I don't know about that.
70
00:03:31,516 --> 00:03:33,851
Penelope Ann Miller, Nancy Travis,
71
00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:35,753
now those are movie stars.
72
00:03:35,821 --> 00:03:36,954
Look, Anthony, trust me,
73
00:03:37,022 --> 00:03:38,923
she ain't what she used to be,
all right?
74
00:03:38,990 --> 00:03:40,524
Once you get those pants off,
75
00:03:40,592 --> 00:03:43,594
it's like two sagging pressed
hams and a slice of pizza.
76
00:03:43,662 --> 00:03:44,628
Oh, thank you, Peter,
77
00:03:44,696 --> 00:03:45,796
that makes me feel terrific.
78
00:03:45,864 --> 00:03:46,831
Anyway, good night, kids.
79
00:03:46,898 --> 00:03:48,933
Good night, Mom.
Good night, Dad.
80
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,168
Ah-ah-ah, on the lips.
81
00:03:52,404 --> 00:03:53,571
Yes!
82
00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:58,008
Do you think your parents liked me?
83
00:03:58,076 --> 00:04:00,010
Yeah. Can we make out now?
84
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:03,314
Oh, I forgot my...
85
00:04:11,756 --> 00:04:14,692
Oh, my God, that's kind of hot.
86
00:04:19,831 --> 00:04:24,768
Mmm, I bet you taste like
Mountain Dew and Starburst.
87
00:04:29,341 --> 00:04:31,876
All right, wish me luck
on my audition, Brian.
88
00:04:31,943 --> 00:04:34,712
If anyone deserves to be
on Jolly Farm, it's me.
89
00:04:34,779 --> 00:04:36,580
Sorry, all the boys can go home.
90
00:04:36,648 --> 00:04:38,849
We only have one part
left for a little girl.
91
00:04:38,917 --> 00:04:39,850
What?!
92
00:04:39,918 --> 00:04:41,018
No! No, that's impossible!
93
00:04:41,086 --> 00:04:42,453
Oh, that's too bad, Stewie.
94
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,688
Well, I guess we can go home now.
95
00:04:44,756 --> 00:04:46,657
But I don't want to go home!
96
00:04:46,725 --> 00:04:48,125
I want to be on Jolly Farm!
97
00:04:48,193 --> 00:04:49,226
Well, you heard her.
98
00:04:49,294 --> 00:04:50,427
They're only
auditioning little girls.
99
00:04:50,495 --> 00:04:52,062
Now come on. Let's get out of here.
100
00:04:52,130 --> 00:04:54,031
I suppose you're right;
nothing I can do.
101
00:04:54,099 --> 00:04:57,768
Okay, our next young actress
on the audition list is
102
00:04:57,836 --> 00:04:59,303
Karina Smirnoff.
103
00:05:00,872 --> 00:05:03,274
Hello, everyone!
104
00:05:10,145 --> 00:05:11,279
Thank you all so much
105
00:05:11,347 --> 00:05:12,781
for squeezing me
in for an audition.
106
00:05:13,049 --> 00:05:14,349
So, should we just jump in?
107
00:05:14,917 --> 00:05:15,983
Sure. When you're ready.
108
00:05:16,051 --> 00:05:17,919
All right, let me just
get into character.
109
00:05:17,986 --> 00:05:19,587
I'm a bit distracted.
110
00:05:19,655 --> 00:05:21,055
I wasn't expecting
we'd do this today
111
00:05:21,123 --> 00:05:23,825
- in light of the circumstances.
- What circumstances?
112
00:05:23,892 --> 00:05:26,761
Oh, dear God,
didn't you hear? The bomb.
113
00:05:26,829 --> 00:05:29,130
The bomb that went
off in Times Square.
114
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:32,033
All those poor people... dead!
115
00:05:32,101 --> 00:05:34,669
Oh, my God, my cousin
works in Times Square.
116
00:05:34,736 --> 00:05:38,539
Well, your cousin is fine
because I was acting!
117
00:05:38,607 --> 00:05:39,707
That's impressive!
118
00:05:39,775 --> 00:05:41,442
- Oh. Wow!
- Risky, very risky!
119
00:05:41,510 --> 00:05:44,011
All right, fun's over.
What do you want me to read?
120
00:05:44,079 --> 00:05:46,180
We want you to read
your new contract!
121
00:05:46,248 --> 00:05:47,281
You mean it?!
122
00:05:47,349 --> 00:05:49,484
Absolutely! You're hired!
123
00:05:49,551 --> 00:05:52,253
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh!
124
00:05:52,321 --> 00:05:55,123
Well, I guess sometimes you're
just right for the part.
125
00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:57,792
Like James Earl Jones
playing Darth Vader.
126
00:05:57,860 --> 00:06:03,364
So, James, we just want
you to do the voice.
127
00:06:06,535 --> 00:06:09,470
Thanks for taking time
for me today, Bonnie.
128
00:06:09,538 --> 00:06:11,539
I just didn't know
who else to talk to.
129
00:06:11,607 --> 00:06:13,708
Oh, that's okay, Lois.
What's on your mind?
130
00:06:13,775 --> 00:06:15,610
Well, you're gonna think
I'm an awful person,
131
00:06:15,677 --> 00:06:18,713
but I'm attracted to another man.
132
00:06:18,780 --> 00:06:20,248
Giggity?
133
00:06:20,315 --> 00:06:21,649
It's Meg's boyfriend, Anthony.
134
00:06:21,717 --> 00:06:22,750
Giggity...
135
00:06:22,818 --> 00:06:24,352
It's just that, lately,
136
00:06:24,419 --> 00:06:26,954
Peter's been making me feel
so crappy about my age, and...
137
00:06:27,022 --> 00:06:28,322
well, then I'm around Anthony,
138
00:06:28,390 --> 00:06:31,159
he looks at me like I'm
young and attractive.
139
00:06:31,226 --> 00:06:33,194
I'm gonna tell you a secret, Lois.
140
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:35,029
I had an affair once.
141
00:06:35,097 --> 00:06:37,064
You had an affair?!
142
00:06:37,132 --> 00:06:39,734
Mm-hmm. It wasn't anything sordid.
143
00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:41,569
Just some guys I met
on the internet.
144
00:06:41,637 --> 00:06:45,173
The point is, it's healthy
to explore your sexuality.
145
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,341
Oh, I don't know.
146
00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:49,744
It just feels like
I'm lying to Peter...
147
00:06:49,811 --> 00:06:51,512
like Jesus lied to the meek.
148
00:06:53,115 --> 00:06:54,348
All right!
149
00:06:54,416 --> 00:06:56,851
Jesus and the jocks win again!
150
00:06:56,919 --> 00:06:59,787
Hey! You said we were gonna
inherit the earth.
151
00:06:59,855 --> 00:07:02,056
Yeah, when we're done with it!
152
00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:14,168
Hello there.
153
00:07:14,236 --> 00:07:15,403
Hello.
154
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:18,105
Um, I'm new in town and
I'm awfully lonely.
155
00:07:18,173 --> 00:07:20,708
I'm wondering if you wouldn't
mind buying me a drink?
156
00:07:20,776 --> 00:07:22,176
Well, that'd be my pleasure.
157
00:07:22,244 --> 00:07:23,978
And maybe later I can show you some
158
00:07:24,046 --> 00:07:25,446
of the local points of interest.
159
00:07:25,514 --> 00:07:27,448
There's one right below the table.
160
00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:29,584
Oh, my, you're very bold.
161
00:07:29,651 --> 00:07:32,253
Well, when your lifespan
is thirteen years, you gotta be direct.
162
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:35,389
Lucky for you, I like bold men.
163
00:07:35,457 --> 00:07:37,158
Karina, Karina Smirnoff.
164
00:07:37,226 --> 00:07:39,627
Brian, Brian Steel.
165
00:07:39,695 --> 00:07:41,329
Ooh, good heavens!
166
00:07:41,396 --> 00:07:43,231
Man, your accent is sexy.
167
00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:45,433
Oh, this is all
moving very quickly.
168
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,068
I'm afraid I'm a
little light-headed.
169
00:07:47,135 --> 00:07:49,036
You must think I'm a fool.
170
00:07:49,104 --> 00:07:51,439
I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to come on too strong.
171
00:07:51,506 --> 00:07:52,506
Oh, that's all right.
172
00:07:52,574 --> 00:07:54,308
I've been missing a man's touch
173
00:07:54,376 --> 00:07:55,977
lo these many months.
174
00:07:56,044 --> 00:07:59,213
And I've been missing
a woman's touch.
175
00:08:00,983 --> 00:08:04,885
Brian... Brian, it's me, Stewie!
176
00:08:04,953 --> 00:08:06,887
Oh, my God, that was hilarious!
177
00:08:06,955 --> 00:08:08,089
You really fell for it!
178
00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:10,124
I... I was, like,
"Is he gonna fall for this?"
179
00:08:10,192 --> 00:08:11,792
And then when you did, I was like,
180
00:08:11,860 --> 00:08:14,128
"I guess I should see
how far I can take it
181
00:08:14,196 --> 00:08:15,463
'cause you know, it'll be funnier."
182
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,497
I'm gonna kill you!
183
00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:17,698
Why are you dressed like that?!
184
00:08:17,766 --> 00:08:19,934
Uh, because I'm the star
of Jolly Farm.
185
00:08:20,002 --> 00:08:22,270
Remember how they only
needed little girls?
186
00:08:22,337 --> 00:08:23,904
Oh, my God.
187
00:08:23,972 --> 00:08:24,905
I'm telling Lois.
188
00:08:24,973 --> 00:08:27,141
You're not telling anybody, friend.
189
00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:29,710
No, no, you're gonna
be my on-set guardian.
190
00:08:29,778 --> 00:08:31,145
You're out of your mind.
191
00:08:31,213 --> 00:08:32,647
Brian, we both know I touched it.
192
00:08:32,714 --> 00:08:34,749
Now if you'd like to keep
that just between us,
193
00:08:34,816 --> 00:08:37,318
I suggest you sit back down and
order me some chicken fingers.
194
00:08:38,353 --> 00:08:41,789
See? We're having a nice time.
195
00:08:43,825 --> 00:08:46,694
All right, first scene
up is on page twelve.
196
00:08:46,762 --> 00:08:49,230
Everybody, this is our new
Jolly Farm resident,
197
00:08:49,298 --> 00:08:50,498
Karina Smirnoff.
198
00:08:50,565 --> 00:08:52,166
She'll be playing the role of Mary.
199
00:08:52,234 --> 00:08:54,735
Hello. Hi, I'm Julie.
200
00:08:58,607 --> 00:09:00,141
Oh, hello, I'm Stew...
201
00:09:00,208 --> 00:09:01,208
uh, I'm Karina.
202
00:09:01,276 --> 00:09:02,910
Can we get some quiet on the set?
203
00:09:02,978 --> 00:09:03,944
I'm trying to rehearse!
204
00:09:04,012 --> 00:09:05,012
Quiet on the set!
205
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,080
Don't mind Randall.
206
00:09:06,148 --> 00:09:07,782
He's getting into character.
207
00:09:07,849 --> 00:09:09,050
Is he playing a dick?
208
00:09:09,117 --> 00:09:10,284
All right, everybody, here we go.
209
00:09:10,352 --> 00:09:12,386
Scene ten. Places, please.
210
00:09:12,454 --> 00:09:14,121
And... Action!
211
00:09:14,189 --> 00:09:16,757
Oh, it's so great being
here on Jolly Farm.
212
00:09:16,825 --> 00:09:19,060
Let's go to the barn
and meet the animals.
213
00:09:19,127 --> 00:09:20,161
Yeah! Hey, Mary,
214
00:09:20,228 --> 00:09:22,330
bet I'll beat you to the barn!
215
00:09:22,397 --> 00:09:23,798
That sounds like
216
00:09:23,865 --> 00:09:25,499
a really chauvinistic presumption.
217
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:28,569
I mean, because I'm a woman,
you think you'll beat me?
218
00:09:28,637 --> 00:09:30,504
A man is automatically
better than a woman
219
00:09:30,572 --> 00:09:32,106
at any physical challenge?
220
00:09:32,174 --> 00:09:35,443
Well, here are a few women who
might beat you to the barn:
221
00:09:35,510 --> 00:09:37,511
Joanie Benoit,
Jackie Joyner Kersey,
222
00:09:37,579 --> 00:09:39,947
Babe Didrikson Zaharias,
Mary Decker, Zola Budd...
223
00:09:40,015 --> 00:09:41,148
Cut!
224
00:09:41,216 --> 00:09:43,884
Karina, your line is,
"That sounds fun."
225
00:09:43,952 --> 00:09:45,286
Well, yes, Dan, but I felt
226
00:09:45,354 --> 00:09:46,921
that just because we're on a farm,
227
00:09:46,988 --> 00:09:49,523
it doesn't mean we have to
be stuck in the 19th century
228
00:09:49,591 --> 00:09:50,591
with our value system.
229
00:09:50,659 --> 00:09:52,660
Mary needs to stand up for herself.
230
00:09:52,728 --> 00:09:55,830
Hmm... Interesting.
I suppose we don't really have
231
00:09:55,897 --> 00:09:57,898
an outspoken female
character on the show.
232
00:09:57,966 --> 00:09:59,200
All right, Karina,
233
00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:00,768
we'll try it your way
and see what happens.
234
00:10:00,836 --> 00:10:02,269
Good luck.
235
00:10:02,337 --> 00:10:04,004
She'll be gone in three episodes.
236
00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:10,711
♪ Go, Stewie, go! ♪
237
00:10:12,681 --> 00:10:17,451
♪ Roll, Stewie, roll! ♪
238
00:10:19,521 --> 00:10:24,925
♪ Sweet Stewie roll! ♪
239
00:10:32,667 --> 00:10:33,601
Hi, Anthony.
240
00:10:33,668 --> 00:10:35,302
Hi, Mrs. Griffin.
241
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:37,104
You know, we've enjoyed having you
242
00:10:37,172 --> 00:10:40,241
around so much lately,
so we got a little
243
00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:43,043
"welcome to the family"
present for you.
244
00:10:43,111 --> 00:10:46,113
Your husband's work and
poker game schedule?
245
00:10:46,181 --> 00:10:48,048
My menstrual cycle's on there, too,
246
00:10:48,116 --> 00:10:49,984
but I don't mind if you don't.
247
00:10:50,051 --> 00:10:51,118
Uh, thanks.
248
00:10:51,186 --> 00:10:53,487
Oh, by the way, Meg,
I forgot to tell you,
249
00:10:53,555 --> 00:10:56,157
your grandfather needs you to
pick him up at the airport.
250
00:10:56,224 --> 00:10:59,160
Ugh, grandpa always makes me
so nervous when I'm driving.
251
00:11:03,298 --> 00:11:05,132
Okay, now me.
252
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:07,134
That's a stop sign!
253
00:11:07,202 --> 00:11:08,335
Anthony, you want to come with me?
254
00:11:08,403 --> 00:11:09,670
Sure.
255
00:11:09,738 --> 00:11:10,905
Oh, don't be ridiculous,
256
00:11:10,972 --> 00:11:12,540
I'll keep him company
till you get back.
257
00:11:12,607 --> 00:11:14,241
Good-bye, Meg.
258
00:11:15,277 --> 00:11:16,610
Let's not play games.
259
00:11:16,678 --> 00:11:18,279
The other day you
said I was attractive.
260
00:11:18,346 --> 00:11:19,914
Now, what are we gonna do about it?
261
00:11:19,981 --> 00:11:21,081
Oh, my God.
262
00:11:21,149 --> 00:11:22,650
Wow, this is so cool.
263
00:11:22,717 --> 00:11:25,152
I've never had a MILF
come on to me before.
264
00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:27,154
Can I... can I kiss you?
265
00:11:27,222 --> 00:11:28,522
Let me ask you this:
266
00:11:28,590 --> 00:11:30,191
Do my gray hairs bother you?
267
00:11:30,258 --> 00:11:31,559
What gray hairs?
268
00:11:31,626 --> 00:11:33,928
Oh, kiss me!
269
00:11:35,664 --> 00:11:37,231
Mom, I forgot my keys.
270
00:11:37,299 --> 00:11:38,365
Do you know where...
271
00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:41,402
Um... Rape?
272
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,581
Hey, another batch
of fan mail, Karina.
273
00:11:53,648 --> 00:11:55,382
Oh, careful, Sam,
274
00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:57,218
you're emptying your
sack all over me.
275
00:11:57,285 --> 00:11:59,186
What?!
276
00:11:59,254 --> 00:12:00,855
Stewie, how the hell long
277
00:12:00,922 --> 00:12:02,389
do you think you can
keep up this charade?
278
00:12:02,457 --> 00:12:04,692
I will keep up this "charahhd"
279
00:12:04,759 --> 00:12:07,294
as it's pronounced, Brian,
as long as I see fit.
280
00:12:07,362 --> 00:12:08,429
Ooh, ooh, shh, shh, shh.
281
00:12:08,497 --> 00:12:09,463
Hi, Karina.
282
00:12:09,531 --> 00:12:10,631
Oh, hi, Julie.
283
00:12:10,699 --> 00:12:12,333
God, I love your makeup.
284
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,001
You know, I'm thinking
of asking them
285
00:12:14,069 --> 00:12:15,469
to do my makeup like yours.
286
00:12:15,537 --> 00:12:17,037
Oh, you don't need makeup.
287
00:12:17,105 --> 00:12:19,139
I mean, I need all
the help I can get,
288
00:12:19,207 --> 00:12:20,674
but you have such a youthful look,
289
00:12:20,742 --> 00:12:21,909
you could pass for eleven months.
290
00:12:21,977 --> 00:12:24,144
Ugh, then why do I
feel like fourty months?
291
00:12:24,212 --> 00:12:26,113
You've got to stop
doing that to yourself.
292
00:12:26,181 --> 00:12:27,882
You're fantastic.
293
00:12:27,949 --> 00:12:30,718
Oh, I think you're the
nicest person I've ever met.
294
00:12:30,785 --> 00:12:33,387
Hey, baby, you ready
to go take a nap?
295
00:12:33,455 --> 00:12:35,523
Oh, okay, Randall.
296
00:12:37,325 --> 00:12:38,792
I don't think that
guy's right for her.
297
00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:40,094
Do you see the way he treats her?
298
00:12:40,161 --> 00:12:41,295
Why do you care?
299
00:12:41,363 --> 00:12:44,465
Because... I think
I'm in love with her.
300
00:12:44,533 --> 00:12:45,666
Whenever I talk to her,
301
00:12:45,734 --> 00:12:47,268
it makes my band-aid
start to peel off.
302
00:12:47,335 --> 00:12:48,569
What are you talking about?
303
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:49,904
I'm talking about my thing.
304
00:12:49,971 --> 00:12:51,305
Gotta hide it for the cameras.
305
00:12:51,373 --> 00:12:53,007
Instead of tucking,
I just push it in
306
00:12:53,074 --> 00:12:54,308
like a button and put
a band-aid over it.
307
00:12:54,376 --> 00:12:55,476
What kind of band-aid?
308
00:12:55,544 --> 00:12:56,644
Big one.
309
00:12:56,711 --> 00:12:57,945
Big giant one.
310
00:12:58,013 --> 00:13:00,514
Nah, just one of those little
dots you put on a shot.
311
00:13:07,230 --> 00:13:08,297
Okay, Brian, watch.
312
00:13:08,365 --> 00:13:09,665
Here comes my big part.
313
00:13:09,733 --> 00:13:13,836
Oh, here comes large bird and
moody green garbage creature.
314
00:13:13,904 --> 00:13:15,972
Wow, you're a big bird.
315
00:13:16,039 --> 00:13:18,374
And I'm grouchy,
so get out of my way!
316
00:13:18,442 --> 00:13:20,743
You watch that tone,
moody green garbage creature,
317
00:13:20,811 --> 00:13:23,879
or I'll get Bernie and Gert
over here to kick your butt.
318
00:13:23,947 --> 00:13:25,581
Is there a problem here?
319
00:13:25,649 --> 00:13:28,084
Yeah, you need us to use our fists?
320
00:13:28,151 --> 00:13:29,585
Look at Julie, Brian.
321
00:13:29,653 --> 00:13:32,154
She's absolutely beautiful.
322
00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:36,826
Julie?!
323
00:13:36,894 --> 00:13:38,327
Hi, we were just talking about you.
324
00:13:38,395 --> 00:13:40,096
Oh, hi, do I know you?
325
00:13:40,163 --> 00:13:41,197
Oh, right.
326
00:13:41,265 --> 00:13:43,032
Yeah, no, you don't,
you know Karina.
327
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:44,267
I'm her brother, Stewie.
328
00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:45,635
It's nice to meet you.
329
00:13:45,702 --> 00:13:47,270
Is she home? Oh, yeah,
yeah, she's upstairs.
330
00:13:47,337 --> 00:13:48,437
Come in.
331
00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:50,740
Brian, you've met Julie, right?
332
00:13:50,807 --> 00:13:52,942
Julie's my sister's co-star
on Jolly Farm.
333
00:13:53,010 --> 00:13:54,110
Hi, Brian.
334
00:13:54,177 --> 00:13:55,444
Why don't you keep her company,
335
00:13:55,512 --> 00:13:56,746
while I go fetch Karina.
336
00:13:56,813 --> 00:13:58,981
Just make sure you get her fast.
337
00:13:59,049 --> 00:14:00,583
Karina?
Yes?
338
00:14:00,651 --> 00:14:01,984
You have a visitor.
Who is it?
339
00:14:02,052 --> 00:14:04,253
It's that nice girl,
Julie, from your show.
340
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,255
Oh, Julie, did she
say what she wanted?
341
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:07,523
Just go see for yourself,
342
00:14:07,591 --> 00:14:09,025
I'm not your secretary, Karina.
343
00:14:09,092 --> 00:14:10,059
Why are you so cruel to me?
344
00:14:10,127 --> 00:14:11,294
Is it because I'm the pretty one?
345
00:14:11,361 --> 00:14:13,296
The talented one?
Oh, for God's sakes.
346
00:14:13,363 --> 00:14:14,297
You know, we're all sick of you!
347
00:14:14,364 --> 00:14:15,364
That's right, all of us!
348
00:14:15,432 --> 00:14:17,867
Sick of me?! Oh, that's rich.
349
00:14:17,935 --> 00:14:19,302
You know, I wasn't
going to say this,
350
00:14:19,369 --> 00:14:20,870
but Mother hates you.
351
00:14:20,938 --> 00:14:22,505
That's not true,
you take that back!
352
00:14:22,573 --> 00:14:24,106
It is true, she hates you!
353
00:14:24,174 --> 00:14:26,242
She told me, it was the
Christmas we all went
354
00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:28,177
to Edaville Railroad, and you cried
355
00:14:28,245 --> 00:14:30,112
because you were afraid
because one of Santa's elves
356
00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:31,948
was a real midget, and Father said,
357
00:14:32,015 --> 00:14:33,849
"That's it, I can't
take this anymore,"
358
00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:35,618
and he left that very night
359
00:14:35,686 --> 00:14:38,254
and all you cared about was
ice cream on the way home
360
00:14:38,322 --> 00:14:40,022
and Mother said you didn't
appreciate anything!
361
00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:41,190
- Karina!
- Coming!
362
00:14:41,258 --> 00:14:43,192
Hello, Julie.
363
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:44,760
So nice to see you.
364
00:14:44,828 --> 00:14:46,062
Please.
365
00:14:46,129 --> 00:14:47,496
Two lemonades, Brian.
366
00:14:47,564 --> 00:14:49,131
Oh, yeah, I'll go
make you a lemonade.
367
00:14:49,199 --> 00:14:50,466
I'll make you a fresh one.
368
00:14:50,534 --> 00:14:52,168
So, what brings you here?
369
00:14:52,235 --> 00:14:54,003
Well, I wanted to see
if you could come over
370
00:14:54,071 --> 00:14:55,738
to my house tonight
and run lines with me.
371
00:14:55,806 --> 00:14:57,807
Don't you usually do
that with Randall?
372
00:14:57,874 --> 00:14:59,442
We kind of had a fight.
373
00:14:59,509 --> 00:15:01,110
Oh, I'm sorry.
374
00:15:01,178 --> 00:15:03,446
I thought maybe you and I could
have a sleepover tonight.
375
00:15:03,513 --> 00:15:04,814
You know, a little girl time.
376
00:15:04,881 --> 00:15:06,248
Oh, that would be so fun.
377
00:15:06,316 --> 00:15:08,117
Yes, let's. Terrific.
378
00:15:08,185 --> 00:15:09,352
I can't wait.
379
00:15:09,419 --> 00:15:11,120
Hey, do you mind if I say
good-bye to your brother?
380
00:15:11,188 --> 00:15:13,723
Fine.
381
00:15:13,790 --> 00:15:14,890
Stewie!
382
00:15:14,958 --> 00:15:16,058
What?
383
00:15:16,126 --> 00:15:17,827
Julie would like to
say goodbye to you.
384
00:15:17,894 --> 00:15:19,061
Well? Answer me.
385
00:15:19,129 --> 00:15:20,162
I'm not talking to you!
386
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:21,964
You're being a baby.
Go say good-bye.
387
00:15:22,032 --> 00:15:23,099
Why? She's your friend.
388
00:15:23,166 --> 00:15:24,767
And why should I do you any favors
389
00:15:24,835 --> 00:15:26,602
after the terrible things
you said to me earlier?
390
00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,738
Well, at least I didn't bring
up that time at Brigham's
391
00:15:28,805 --> 00:15:30,873
when you showed your fanny to
that girl in the wheelchair!
392
00:15:30,941 --> 00:15:32,742
- Julie's gone!
- That's fine, Brian,
393
00:15:32,809 --> 00:15:34,243
we're having a
conversation up here!
394
00:15:34,311 --> 00:15:36,145
That girl in the wheelchair
called me a name!
395
00:15:36,213 --> 00:15:38,914
Yes, well, that gives you
no right to be a blaggard!
396
00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:47,423
Meg, honey,
I think we need to talk.
397
00:15:47,491 --> 00:15:48,658
I don't want to talk to you.
398
00:15:48,725 --> 00:15:49,725
Get out!
399
00:15:49,793 --> 00:15:51,927
Look, I understand
that you're upset.
400
00:15:51,995 --> 00:15:54,096
You made out with my boyfriend!
401
00:15:54,164 --> 00:15:55,564
How could you do that?
402
00:15:55,632 --> 00:15:59,035
I don't know, sweetheart,
but I am so, so sorry.
403
00:15:59,102 --> 00:16:00,603
It was an awful thing that I did.
404
00:16:00,671 --> 00:16:02,438
I never meant to
steal him from you.
405
00:16:02,506 --> 00:16:04,040
Is that what you think?
406
00:16:04,107 --> 00:16:05,608
You stole him from me?
407
00:16:05,676 --> 00:16:06,776
Are you kidding?
408
00:16:06,843 --> 00:16:08,444
You couldn't steal him from me.
409
00:16:08,512 --> 00:16:10,913
Well, I do know a few things, Meg.
410
00:16:10,981 --> 00:16:13,049
And clearly, if I wanted
him I could have him.
411
00:16:13,116 --> 00:16:15,451
You really think
you stand a chance?
412
00:16:15,519 --> 00:16:18,120
Look at you, you're old,
you're nothing.
413
00:16:18,188 --> 00:16:20,923
You couldn't even imagine
the things I do for him.
414
00:16:20,991 --> 00:16:24,627
And this isn't about making out;
this is about power tools.
415
00:16:24,695 --> 00:16:27,063
Yeah, I go to places you
couldn't get back from.
416
00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:28,397
I'll do anything.
417
00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:29,732
You don't know me.
418
00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:33,269
Oh, my God!
419
00:16:33,336 --> 00:16:34,804
He hangs me from the shower rod
420
00:16:34,871 --> 00:16:36,605
with your old bras,
and then we laugh at you.
421
00:16:36,673 --> 00:16:38,774
Now get out of my room!
422
00:16:38,842 --> 00:16:42,144
Well, when you're ready to talk.
423
00:16:44,848 --> 00:16:46,582
Are you okay in there, Karina?
424
00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:47,917
Be right out!
425
00:16:47,984 --> 00:16:49,585
Just rinsing off my Noxzema.
426
00:16:49,653 --> 00:16:50,953
I'm so glad you came over.
427
00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:53,556
Oh, so am I, Jules;
it's been so fun.
428
00:16:53,623 --> 00:16:57,126
So, I guess I sleep in the
guest room or whatnot?
429
00:16:57,194 --> 00:16:58,861
No, you can sleep in here with me.
430
00:16:58,929 --> 00:17:02,965
Oh, well, my goodness,
I hope there's room for both of us.
431
00:17:03,033 --> 00:17:05,267
I'll just have to squeeze in here.
432
00:17:05,335 --> 00:17:07,470
Well, good night, Karina.
433
00:17:07,537 --> 00:17:11,507
You know, I really like
spending time with you, Julie.
434
00:17:11,575 --> 00:17:13,008
Me, too.
435
00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:14,243
Why couldn't we just
have girlfriends
436
00:17:14,311 --> 00:17:16,011
- instead of boyfriends?
- I know.
437
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,948
It's all just one big,
confusing mess.
438
00:17:19,015 --> 00:17:20,750
Can I snuggle with you?
439
00:17:20,817 --> 00:17:22,718
Uh-huh.
440
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:29,558
Good night, Julie.
441
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,734
Well, I hope you're happy, Peter.
442
00:17:38,802 --> 00:17:41,303
Our daughter hates me and
it's all because of you!
443
00:17:41,371 --> 00:17:42,938
Me? What the hell did I do?
444
00:17:43,006 --> 00:17:44,507
You've made me feel
so unattractive lately
445
00:17:44,574 --> 00:17:45,841
that I went and did something
446
00:17:45,909 --> 00:17:48,878
disgusting and abhorrent
and I'm ashamed of myself.
447
00:17:48,945 --> 00:17:50,946
Peter, I made out
with Meg's boyfriend.
448
00:17:51,014 --> 00:17:53,449
You made out
with Meg's boyfriend?
449
00:17:53,517 --> 00:17:54,917
How the hell could
you do that to me?
450
00:17:54,985 --> 00:17:57,520
Because, Peter, you've been
making me feel old and fat
451
00:17:57,587 --> 00:17:59,822
and unattractive and worthless.
452
00:17:59,890 --> 00:18:01,457
How do you expect me to respond?
453
00:18:01,525 --> 00:18:04,493
Lois, I think you're the
most beautiful woman
454
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:05,995
I ever seen in my life.
455
00:18:06,062 --> 00:18:08,164
Well, but then why
have you been saying
456
00:18:08,231 --> 00:18:09,765
all these horrible things?
457
00:18:09,833 --> 00:18:13,469
Because I'm old and fat and
unattractive and worthless.
458
00:18:13,537 --> 00:18:16,071
I guess I thought that if
I could bring you down,
459
00:18:16,139 --> 00:18:18,207
you wouldn't start to notice
that you're too good for me
460
00:18:18,275 --> 00:18:19,975
and run off looking
for another fella.
461
00:18:20,043 --> 00:18:22,311
Peter, that's ridiculous.
462
00:18:22,379 --> 00:18:23,646
I love you.
463
00:18:23,713 --> 00:18:25,214
Why?
464
00:18:25,282 --> 00:18:27,249
Maybe I like fat guys.
465
00:18:27,317 --> 00:18:28,417
You do?
466
00:18:28,485 --> 00:18:31,187
Maybe I like having
sex with fat guys.
467
00:18:31,254 --> 00:18:32,454
Yeah?
468
00:18:32,522 --> 00:18:35,624
Maybe I want to have sex
with a fat guy right now.
469
00:18:35,692 --> 00:18:38,894
Well, maybe I want to have
sex with an ugly, old broad.
470
00:18:38,962 --> 00:18:40,296
- Peter!
- Gotcha!
471
00:18:40,363 --> 00:18:41,831
Wow!
472
00:18:48,104 --> 00:18:50,005
I'm going insane, Brian.
473
00:18:50,073 --> 00:18:52,041
I don't know how much
longer I can keep this up.
474
00:18:52,108 --> 00:18:54,476
I've got to tell Julie
my true feelings.
475
00:18:54,544 --> 00:18:55,578
So, tell her.
476
00:18:55,645 --> 00:18:56,912
Have you heard, Karina?
477
00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,581
We're gonna be doing
the show live today.
478
00:18:58,648 --> 00:18:59,849
I'm so nervous,
479
00:18:59,916 --> 00:19:02,117
I've never been on live TV before.
480
00:19:02,185 --> 00:19:03,919
Would you give me a hug for luck?
481
00:19:07,324 --> 00:19:09,959
No... no... no... no... no...
I'm not done yet.
482
00:19:10,026 --> 00:19:11,994
Karina, what are you...
483
00:19:13,063 --> 00:19:14,997
Oh... oh... I'm not...
484
00:19:15,065 --> 00:19:16,632
I'm not a lesbian.
485
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,234
No... no... I'm not either!
486
00:19:18,301 --> 00:19:19,468
What are you exactly?
487
00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:21,136
I'm sorry, Karina.
488
00:19:21,204 --> 00:19:23,873
If only you were a boy.
489
00:19:24,808 --> 00:19:27,843
But... I am a boy.
490
00:19:27,911 --> 00:19:29,979
Okay, everybody,
we're live in five.
491
00:19:30,046 --> 00:19:31,780
You'd better get out there.
492
00:19:33,049 --> 00:19:36,352
Four, three, two...
493
00:19:36,419 --> 00:19:40,422
Good morning and
welcome to Jolly Farm.
494
00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:43,726
Today we're going to learn
about the letter "T."
495
00:19:43,793 --> 00:19:46,195
I've got something to say,
Mother Maggie.
496
00:19:46,263 --> 00:19:47,429
You do?
497
00:19:47,497 --> 00:19:49,465
Well, maybe that can
wait till later, Mary.
498
00:19:49,532 --> 00:19:52,067
No, I think this needs
to come out now.
499
00:19:52,135 --> 00:19:55,971
You see, I didn't move to
Jolly Farm from the big city
500
00:19:56,039 --> 00:19:57,606
to be around animals.
501
00:19:57,674 --> 00:20:01,176
I moved here because my uncle
was molesting my sister,
502
00:20:01,244 --> 00:20:03,946
and my parents wanted
her to start a new life.
503
00:20:04,014 --> 00:20:06,348
But my sister Mary shot
herself in the face,
504
00:20:06,416 --> 00:20:09,618
and that's when I decided that
she would live on through me.
505
00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:12,488
For I am not who you think I am.
506
00:20:12,555 --> 00:20:15,224
I am not little Mary Sunflower,
507
00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:18,527
daughter of Bradley
and Theresa Sunflower.
508
00:20:18,595 --> 00:20:20,529
No, I'm not.
509
00:20:20,597 --> 00:20:22,164
I'm Desmond Sunflower!
510
00:20:22,232 --> 00:20:24,767
Desmond Sunflower and I'm a boy!
511
00:20:27,771 --> 00:20:30,272
A perfectly normal little boy.
512
00:20:30,340 --> 00:20:33,876
Who also happens to
be a transvestite.
513
00:20:33,944 --> 00:20:36,679
Which begins with the letter "T."
514
00:20:44,181 --> 00:20:45,481
I'm ready.
515
00:20:45,549 --> 00:20:46,615
Did you talk to Julie?
516
00:20:46,683 --> 00:20:48,250
Her mother won't let me see her.
517
00:20:48,318 --> 00:20:50,653
It doesn't matter anyway,
she's back with Randall.
518
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,221
Oh, I'm sorry.
519
00:20:52,289 --> 00:20:54,190
Hey, why were they
shooting that scene live?
520
00:20:54,257 --> 00:20:55,991
- Convenience.
- Yeah, but why'd they...
521
00:20:56,059 --> 00:20:57,860
Let's not start pulling
threads on this one.
522
00:20:57,928 --> 00:20:59,862
- Can we go home?
- Sure.
523
00:21:02,799 --> 00:21:04,600
You want to get some ice cream?
524
00:21:04,668 --> 00:21:06,068
Well, why not?
525
00:21:06,136 --> 00:21:08,170
I don't have to fit
in that dress anymore.
526
00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:10,873
Hey, can I borrow the dress?
527
00:21:10,941 --> 00:21:12,174
- What?
- Nah, I'm just kidding.
528
00:21:12,242 --> 00:21:13,309
I'm just doing some playful,
529
00:21:13,376 --> 00:21:15,578
walking-away banter
during the music.
530
00:21:15,645 --> 00:21:16,679
Can we not do that?
531
00:21:16,746 --> 00:21:17,780
I have such a headache.
532
00:21:17,847 --> 00:21:18,615
Sorry.
38106
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