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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,586 --> 00:00:10,936 All right, it's report card day. 2 00:00:10,961 --> 00:00:12,928 The least fun day when I was your age, 3 00:00:12,997 --> 00:00:15,722 but the most fun day now. 4 00:00:15,747 --> 00:00:16,946 Hand them over. 5 00:00:17,968 --> 00:00:19,501 I think you'll be pleased. 6 00:00:19,570 --> 00:00:24,073 Ooh, A, B, B, A. ABBA. 7 00:00:24,141 --> 00:00:27,009 My favorite band and my favorite grades. 8 00:00:27,078 --> 00:00:29,578 Wow. Nice report card, Katie. 9 00:00:29,647 --> 00:00:32,144 Is it good enough to go to Harvard? No. 10 00:00:32,169 --> 00:00:36,171 Can we afford Harvard? No. Right in the sweet spot. 11 00:00:38,253 --> 00:00:41,508 I remember what you said, Dad, any college that ends in State. 12 00:00:45,298 --> 00:00:48,232 Wow, all smiley faces. 13 00:00:48,301 --> 00:00:51,032 What can I say? People love me. 14 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,952 Okay, girls, great work. 15 00:00:53,977 --> 00:00:55,105 Keep those grades up. 16 00:00:55,174 --> 00:00:58,024 Excellent job, ladies. Let's get out of here. 17 00:01:00,479 --> 00:01:02,613 Teddy. 18 00:01:02,939 --> 00:01:05,039 Yes, Father? 19 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:06,750 Where's your report card? 20 00:01:06,819 --> 00:01:10,254 Oh, my school's not doing grades anymore. 21 00:01:10,323 --> 00:01:12,590 It's just based on how we feel, 22 00:01:12,658 --> 00:01:14,258 and I feel great. 23 00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:17,328 I saw you shove it in your pocket. Hand it over. 24 00:01:18,836 --> 00:01:20,085 Come on, tight pants. 25 00:01:24,925 --> 00:01:27,526 Good God, a "Z"? 26 00:01:27,673 --> 00:01:30,274 I tried to change a "D" to a "B" on the bus. 27 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,631 It was bumpy. 28 00:01:32,741 --> 00:01:34,812 Your teachers say you're not doing your homework. 29 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,714 Look, your grades don't have to be perfect. 30 00:01:36,782 --> 00:01:39,311 We just expect you to try your best, 31 00:01:39,336 --> 00:01:41,093 but this looks like you're not trying at all. 32 00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:42,686 Explain yourself, mister. 33 00:01:43,289 --> 00:01:45,456 I'm just looking for a different lifestyle. 34 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,192 A different lifestyle? 35 00:01:48,260 --> 00:01:51,495 Look, date who you want, but do your homework. 36 00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:54,698 Homework's a bummer, man. I want to be free. 37 00:01:55,672 --> 00:01:57,234 Teddy, go to your room. 38 00:01:57,303 --> 00:01:58,535 That's right. 39 00:01:58,604 --> 00:02:00,738 We need some privacy to talk about your punishment, 40 00:02:00,806 --> 00:02:03,807 and I'll just say this... everything is on the table. 41 00:02:07,957 --> 00:02:09,090 That was good. 42 00:02:09,115 --> 00:02:11,515 "Everything's on the table." Scary. 43 00:02:11,584 --> 00:02:13,317 It's from a Liam Neeson movie. 44 00:02:14,524 --> 00:02:15,985 Did he think we were gonna buy 45 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,032 - that lifestyle stuff? - Ugh. 46 00:02:18,057 --> 00:02:19,181 I mean, if you blow off your homework, 47 00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:21,105 you say you lost it or the dog ate it. 48 00:02:21,130 --> 00:02:23,027 - They're classics for a reason. - Yeah. 49 00:02:23,095 --> 00:02:25,562 Well, we learned with Katie, at some point, 50 00:02:25,631 --> 00:02:27,064 kids stop doing their homework, 51 00:02:27,133 --> 00:02:29,433 so we're gonna threaten to send Teddy 52 00:02:29,502 --> 00:02:31,039 where we threatened to send her. 53 00:02:31,064 --> 00:02:33,270 Military school. 54 00:02:33,339 --> 00:02:35,673 It's a bluff, but he doesn't know that. 55 00:02:35,741 --> 00:02:38,665 Remember, as soon as Kate heard the words "military school," 56 00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:40,688 her eyes got big and her lip trembled. 57 00:02:40,713 --> 00:02:42,838 That's when we knew we had her. 58 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,264 - We should write parenting books. - Yeah. 59 00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:48,807 You know, someday they're gonna be too old to scare. 60 00:02:48,954 --> 00:02:50,421 Let's enjoy it while we can. 61 00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:54,034 Your father and I have discussed 62 00:02:54,059 --> 00:02:55,993 the consequences of your report card. 63 00:02:56,085 --> 00:02:58,352 And we've decided what needs to be done. 64 00:02:58,464 --> 00:03:00,531 This is very hard for a mother, 65 00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:03,357 so forgive me if I get emotional, it's just 66 00:03:03,469 --> 00:03:05,436 I'm gonna miss you so much. 67 00:03:05,504 --> 00:03:06,615 Get ahold of yourself, Andi. 68 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:08,237 - It's for his own good. - I know. 69 00:03:08,262 --> 00:03:10,708 Teddy, if you don't start doing your homework, 70 00:03:10,776 --> 00:03:12,649 we're gonna send you to military school. 71 00:03:12,674 --> 00:03:14,878 - What? - That's right. 72 00:03:15,822 --> 00:03:18,048 Runcrest Military Academy. 73 00:03:18,117 --> 00:03:20,918 They call it Runcrest because they make you run 74 00:03:20,986 --> 00:03:22,152 to a crest. 75 00:03:22,855 --> 00:03:24,354 That's a hill. 76 00:03:26,252 --> 00:03:28,792 Just thinking about my baby running up 77 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:33,787 that scorpion-infested hill, it just, it breaks my heart. 78 00:03:33,899 --> 00:03:35,899 So what's it gonna be, Teddy, huh? 79 00:03:36,162 --> 00:03:38,863 Homework or military school? 80 00:03:39,277 --> 00:03:40,147 Well, that's easy. 81 00:03:40,172 --> 00:03:41,905 - Hmm. - Military school. 82 00:03:42,879 --> 00:03:44,879 - Come again? - What's that now? 83 00:03:45,621 --> 00:03:47,978 I could use the structure. When do I ship out? 84 00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:53,484 Teddy, go to your room. 85 00:03:54,091 --> 00:03:55,658 This is my room. 86 00:03:56,099 --> 00:03:58,422 Then go to a different part of your room. 87 00:03:58,491 --> 00:04:00,290 You heard your father. 88 00:04:00,359 --> 00:04:02,926 There, in-in the dusty corner where the vacuum can't reach. 89 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:10,074 FaceTime with British Models 24/7 www.saucytime.com 90 00:04:17,846 --> 00:04:20,513 "Go to a different part of your room"? 91 00:04:20,582 --> 00:04:22,382 I actually said that. 92 00:04:22,450 --> 00:04:26,565 It's like a dragon opened its mouth and jelly beans shot out. 93 00:04:27,589 --> 00:04:30,356 Don't blame yourself. We were in shock. 94 00:04:30,425 --> 00:04:33,971 What kind of kid wants to go to military school? 95 00:04:33,996 --> 00:04:36,495 That trick used to work so well on Katie. 96 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,424 Yeah, but Teddy didn't give us the big-eye lip tremble. 97 00:04:39,504 --> 00:04:43,825 I want our child sad and scared, so we know we're good parents. 98 00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:46,630 Sad and Scared... that's a good title for our book. 99 00:04:47,927 --> 00:04:49,827 Well, he called our bluff. 100 00:04:49,852 --> 00:04:51,852 Yeah, if the kids know we're bluffing, 101 00:04:51,877 --> 00:04:54,078 the wheels come off this whole family, Andi, 102 00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:55,866 so there's only one thing left to do. 103 00:04:55,935 --> 00:04:58,135 We're gonna actually send him to military school. 104 00:04:58,204 --> 00:05:01,004 Okay, Runcrest Military Academy. 105 00:05:01,029 --> 00:05:03,674 Whoa-whoa, what-what? What about Scorpion Hill? 106 00:05:03,743 --> 00:05:05,559 You made that up. 107 00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:07,545 Oh, it's so real to me now. 108 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:09,680 Okay, look. 109 00:05:09,749 --> 00:05:12,750 Tuition, $300, we can swing that. 110 00:05:13,075 --> 00:05:16,442 That's the application fee. This is the tuition. 111 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,089 Oh. 112 00:05:19,292 --> 00:05:21,992 He's gonna flunk out of school and live with us forever. 113 00:05:22,685 --> 00:05:25,262 I don't want to be that lady walking around Target 114 00:05:25,287 --> 00:05:27,807 with her giant son begging her for hot dog money. 115 00:05:28,801 --> 00:05:30,367 I can't do it, Adam. 116 00:05:30,776 --> 00:05:32,517 Oh, sorry, Andi, didn't you hear? 117 00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:34,228 He wants a different lifestyle. 118 00:05:34,253 --> 00:05:36,941 Well, he's got to learn that there is only one lifestyle: 119 00:05:36,966 --> 00:05:38,733 Work hard, then die. 120 00:05:38,845 --> 00:05:40,911 It's the American dream. 121 00:05:41,346 --> 00:05:44,281 We can fix this, okay? We're still in charge here. 122 00:05:44,810 --> 00:05:46,550 Okay, yeah, you're right. 123 00:05:46,619 --> 00:05:49,587 We'll, uh, we'll just give Teddy a preview 124 00:05:49,655 --> 00:05:52,523 of what happens to kids who don't do their homework, yeah. 125 00:05:52,592 --> 00:05:55,025 - And we'll make it look real bad. - Yes. 126 00:05:55,849 --> 00:05:57,605 I mean, he can't be that hard to outsmart. 127 00:05:57,630 --> 00:05:58,919 I mean, we saw his report card. 128 00:05:58,944 --> 00:06:00,731 Yeah, yeah, and the best part is, 129 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,434 there's two of us and there's only one of him. 130 00:06:03,503 --> 00:06:06,036 You can never tell Mom and Dad I'm helping you. 131 00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:09,073 I won't. You're getting me out of homework, I owe you. 132 00:06:09,347 --> 00:06:11,542 I got to know, what happened when you said 133 00:06:11,611 --> 00:06:13,478 you wanted to go to military school? 134 00:06:13,744 --> 00:06:16,247 Dad's eyes got big and Mom's lip trembled. 135 00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:19,316 This is so great. 136 00:06:19,341 --> 00:06:22,442 I fell for all their tricks and now I get payback. 137 00:06:23,048 --> 00:06:24,155 So what's next? 138 00:06:24,423 --> 00:06:27,091 Nothing. We just blew up their biggest move. 139 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,327 They might try one or two other things, but it won't last. 140 00:06:30,396 --> 00:06:33,791 Every day they get a little older and a little tireder. 141 00:06:35,408 --> 00:06:38,156 All right, smart guy, military school's off. 142 00:06:38,181 --> 00:06:40,171 They weren't as strict as I wanted them to be. 143 00:06:40,239 --> 00:06:42,072 They started letting people smile. 144 00:06:42,447 --> 00:06:44,074 But I can straighten you out right here. 145 00:06:44,143 --> 00:06:45,869 You won't do homework, you'll do work-work. 146 00:06:45,894 --> 00:06:49,299 Meet me in the driveway and get ready to sweat. Hi, honey. 147 00:06:52,018 --> 00:06:55,025 Work? These are video game hands, not real-life hands. 148 00:06:55,361 --> 00:06:58,255 Relax. I know how to deal with this. 149 00:06:58,324 --> 00:06:59,275 How'd he look? 150 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:00,869 Remember when he was going down the hill on his bicycle 151 00:07:00,893 --> 00:07:02,166 and the handlebars came off? 152 00:07:02,191 --> 00:07:04,258 He looked like that. 153 00:07:04,768 --> 00:07:07,965 Okay, your job is to take this messy pile of bricks over here 154 00:07:08,034 --> 00:07:11,302 and turn it into a neat stack of bricks on the pallet over there. 155 00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:14,104 - That sounds hard. - Because it is. 156 00:07:14,307 --> 00:07:15,908 If you can't be bothered to do homework, 157 00:07:15,933 --> 00:07:18,753 the only thing people are gonna trust you with is grunt work. 158 00:07:18,778 --> 00:07:20,095 And the kids who did homework 159 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,687 will get nice, cushy office jobs with free muffins. 160 00:07:22,882 --> 00:07:26,483 Free muffins, Teddy. Think about what you're giving up. 161 00:07:27,909 --> 00:07:29,331 So I'm gonna be a bricklayer? 162 00:07:29,356 --> 00:07:32,366 No, no, my friend, you're a brick mover. 163 00:07:32,391 --> 00:07:34,325 You're one step above the brick. 164 00:07:34,393 --> 00:07:36,036 If the brick had legs, it wouldn't need you. 165 00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:37,593 Get cracking. 166 00:07:41,793 --> 00:07:43,234 Look at him out there in the sun, 167 00:07:43,302 --> 00:07:45,402 full of sweat and regret. 168 00:07:45,471 --> 00:07:46,870 Ooh! 169 00:07:46,939 --> 00:07:48,989 He just dropped a brick on his foot. 170 00:07:49,014 --> 00:07:50,794 - This is going great. - Yeah. 171 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:55,357 He's really... not doing that right. 172 00:07:55,427 --> 00:07:58,089 Th-Th-There's gaps, Andi, gaps in the stack. 173 00:07:58,114 --> 00:07:59,442 Well, he's just getting started. 174 00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,618 Yeah, but the beginning is where you have to be perfect 175 00:08:01,642 --> 00:08:03,354 or everything else is out of whack. 176 00:08:03,422 --> 00:08:06,323 Look at his edges... they're all cattywampus. 177 00:08:06,890 --> 00:08:07,961 Hey. 178 00:08:08,359 --> 00:08:10,728 That's-that's-that's-that's not how you do it. 179 00:08:10,796 --> 00:08:12,730 If you got gaps, your corners aren't square. 180 00:08:12,755 --> 00:08:15,189 Have you never paid attention to me when I talk about bricks? 181 00:08:16,394 --> 00:08:18,594 We'll just have to start this whole thing over. 182 00:08:22,108 --> 00:08:24,174 - Hmm? - That looks good, Dad. 183 00:08:24,243 --> 00:08:26,915 Oh, you think it looks good now, you just wait till I'm done. 184 00:08:33,925 --> 00:08:34,929 You were right. 185 00:08:34,954 --> 00:08:37,755 I messed the first few up and he just took over. 186 00:08:37,941 --> 00:08:39,590 Yup, I'm good. 187 00:08:39,659 --> 00:08:42,371 If they gave grades for this, I would get into Harvard. 188 00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:50,701 Look at that perfect stack of bricks. 189 00:08:50,770 --> 00:08:53,404 Now we accomplished something today. 190 00:08:53,472 --> 00:08:56,384 Did we? 'Cause Teddy's not even here anymore. 191 00:08:56,409 --> 00:08:58,108 Good, he was slowing me down. 192 00:08:58,657 --> 00:09:01,157 Adam, we were supposed to be teaching him a lesson, 193 00:09:01,182 --> 00:09:03,157 but instead you did all the work. 194 00:09:03,182 --> 00:09:04,448 It's like he taught us a lesson. 195 00:09:04,472 --> 00:09:06,151 But you saw it, he had gaps. 196 00:09:06,176 --> 00:09:08,643 When Teddy sees this, he will know. 197 00:09:08,668 --> 00:09:12,103 The only thing he'll know is how to get out of stacking bricks. 198 00:09:12,325 --> 00:09:15,645 Wait a minute, do you think he messed up on purpose, 199 00:09:15,670 --> 00:09:16,927 knowing I would take over? 200 00:09:16,996 --> 00:09:19,897 Ah, that would require Teddy taking one thought, 201 00:09:19,965 --> 00:09:21,565 putting it together with another thought, 202 00:09:21,634 --> 00:09:22,900 and making a new thought. 203 00:09:22,968 --> 00:09:25,169 Can he do that? 204 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,238 I would have said no, but I'm the chump out here 205 00:09:28,307 --> 00:09:29,506 covered in brick dust. 206 00:09:32,291 --> 00:09:34,945 Getting kids to do homework is a never-ending struggle. 207 00:09:35,014 --> 00:09:36,814 My girls are in their fifth year of Chinese, 208 00:09:36,839 --> 00:09:38,773 but they still speak like fourth-years, 209 00:09:38,798 --> 00:09:41,332 so I punish them by taking away their cellos. 210 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,155 Our kids are gonna be working for his kids. 211 00:09:45,224 --> 00:09:46,457 Joke's on them. 212 00:09:46,525 --> 00:09:48,839 Our kids'll be terrible employees. 213 00:09:49,328 --> 00:09:50,817 If Teddy doesn't get his act together, 214 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,808 he's gonna wind up in summer school like I did. 215 00:09:53,032 --> 00:09:55,766 Hey, that's right. 216 00:09:55,835 --> 00:09:58,469 Don, maybe you could talk some sense into Teddy, huh? 217 00:09:58,494 --> 00:09:59,627 You learned your lesson. 218 00:10:00,505 --> 00:10:02,339 That summer, all my friends went to camp, 219 00:10:02,408 --> 00:10:05,008 and I had to sit in the library with Mrs. Branch, 220 00:10:05,077 --> 00:10:08,178 a lady so boring she was named after a tree. 221 00:10:09,715 --> 00:10:11,544 You know, that could work on Teddy. 222 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,369 He'd hate the idea of summer school. 223 00:10:13,394 --> 00:10:15,130 Yeah. Take him to lunch, Don. 224 00:10:15,155 --> 00:10:16,701 Tell him what happened when you didn't do your homework. 225 00:10:16,725 --> 00:10:19,000 He'll listen to you. He thinks you're cool for some reason. 226 00:10:19,024 --> 00:10:20,286 I am cool. 227 00:10:20,311 --> 00:10:22,911 I hate to break it to you, but you got old and I didn't. 228 00:10:24,341 --> 00:10:26,029 Then take my girls to lunch. 229 00:10:26,098 --> 00:10:27,996 Maybe you can find out why they've fallen behind 230 00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:29,541 in their Russian literature book club. 231 00:10:30,959 --> 00:10:33,061 You know what, Lowell? Just go home for the day. 232 00:10:36,434 --> 00:10:39,402 A woman so boring she was named after a tree. 233 00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:43,113 Mrs. Branch. 234 00:10:44,617 --> 00:10:45,912 Nothing? 235 00:10:46,574 --> 00:10:48,174 Anyway, that's what can happen to you. 236 00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,387 See, the thing is, Uncle Don, 237 00:10:50,412 --> 00:10:52,645 - Teddy wants a different lifestyle. - Yeah. 238 00:10:52,670 --> 00:10:53,935 I'm not climbing the corporate ladder 239 00:10:53,959 --> 00:10:55,526 just 'cause The Man wants me to. 240 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:58,451 The Man. I hate that guy. 241 00:10:59,764 --> 00:11:01,598 But you work for The Man. 242 00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:03,451 You're his stooge. 243 00:11:03,795 --> 00:11:06,003 You take that back. 244 00:11:06,639 --> 00:11:08,052 If you know a way off this hamster wheel, 245 00:11:08,076 --> 00:11:09,263 I'm listening. 246 00:11:12,677 --> 00:11:14,545 So, did you get through to Teddy? 247 00:11:14,613 --> 00:11:16,380 No, but Teddy got through to me. 248 00:11:16,449 --> 00:11:19,383 He's really zigging where the rest of us zag. 249 00:11:19,927 --> 00:11:22,085 What? What does that mean? 250 00:11:22,154 --> 00:11:23,666 Well, it means that Kate and Teddy's philosophy 251 00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:24,888 really spoke to me. 252 00:11:25,299 --> 00:11:27,510 So, I'm gonna zag on home and take a nap. 253 00:11:28,635 --> 00:11:30,694 Wait. Kate was there? 254 00:11:30,719 --> 00:11:33,351 Yeah. When I went to pick up Teddy, she hopped in the car. 255 00:11:33,376 --> 00:11:36,783 She said lunch was on her, so I stopped asking questions. 256 00:11:39,377 --> 00:11:41,275 Teddy and Katie never hang out together. 257 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,983 Why would she be at that lunch? 258 00:11:43,008 --> 00:11:44,478 Good question. 259 00:11:45,541 --> 00:11:47,377 - And you know something else? - Hmm? 260 00:11:47,446 --> 00:11:49,313 She was in his room yesterday. 261 00:11:49,338 --> 00:11:51,338 She hasn't been in there since she caught him trying to twerk 262 00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:52,666 in front of his mirror. 263 00:11:53,369 --> 00:11:54,952 Something's up. 264 00:11:57,015 --> 00:11:58,648 You don't think... 265 00:12:01,142 --> 00:12:02,726 She's helping him. 266 00:12:02,795 --> 00:12:04,761 Why do I feel so scared right now? 267 00:12:05,111 --> 00:12:07,397 Because this is Jurassic Park, 268 00:12:07,466 --> 00:12:09,967 and we just found out they learned how to work in packs. 269 00:12:16,717 --> 00:12:19,098 So Teddy and Kate formed a criminal conspiracy. 270 00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:23,236 It is nice they're spending time together, though. 271 00:12:24,194 --> 00:12:25,505 Snap out it, Andi. 272 00:12:25,573 --> 00:12:27,551 - I'm gonna put an end to this. - Wait-wait-wait, stop. 273 00:12:27,575 --> 00:12:30,910 Why? I'm all fired up! 274 00:12:30,979 --> 00:12:33,613 Okay. What happens if you go up there and yell at 'em? 275 00:12:33,638 --> 00:12:36,239 I feel better. And then I watch TV. 276 00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:38,986 Yeah, but that won't get Teddy to do his homework 277 00:12:39,011 --> 00:12:40,953 and it won't stop Kate from helping him. 278 00:12:41,022 --> 00:12:43,727 Look, our only advantage is that they don't know we know, 279 00:12:43,752 --> 00:12:46,119 and we have to use that to take back control. 280 00:12:47,328 --> 00:12:48,794 I want control. 281 00:12:48,863 --> 00:12:50,963 Why did I have kids if I can't tell 'em what to do? 282 00:12:51,032 --> 00:12:52,365 Yeah. 283 00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:54,759 Everything flows from problem number one: 284 00:12:54,784 --> 00:12:57,384 how do we get Teddy to do his homework? 285 00:12:58,531 --> 00:12:59,797 Hey, Dad. 286 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:00,840 "Hey, Dad"? 287 00:13:02,010 --> 00:13:04,413 Why'd you leave a stack of bricks in your driveway? 288 00:13:04,438 --> 00:13:06,824 Are you trying to tell the whole neighborhood you've given up? 289 00:13:06,848 --> 00:13:09,615 I... I was teaching Teddy a lesson. 290 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,563 The only lesson he learned is, his father gives up. 291 00:13:13,434 --> 00:13:15,468 - Did you hear that? - I certainly did. 292 00:13:15,623 --> 00:13:17,557 My dad can get Teddy into shape. 293 00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:19,747 Just like he did with me when I got bad grades. 294 00:13:19,772 --> 00:13:21,308 He was a terrible student. 295 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:23,663 All he wanted to do was sit in his teacher's lap. 296 00:13:23,688 --> 00:13:24,514 Aw. 297 00:13:24,539 --> 00:13:25,622 He was 13. 298 00:13:26,968 --> 00:13:28,301 Oh. 299 00:13:28,670 --> 00:13:32,140 Yep. There was no estrogen in the chicken back then. 300 00:13:32,165 --> 00:13:34,131 I was a full man in middle school. 301 00:13:35,219 --> 00:13:36,881 When Dad heard about that, 302 00:13:36,914 --> 00:13:39,014 he made me water the whole front yard 303 00:13:39,039 --> 00:13:41,498 - with a tiny Dixie cup. - Yeah, it's the slowest, 304 00:13:41,523 --> 00:13:44,016 most painful way to water a lawn, 305 00:13:44,085 --> 00:13:46,052 but delightful to watch. 306 00:13:47,234 --> 00:13:49,835 Joe, we-we've got homework problems with Teddy. 307 00:13:49,867 --> 00:13:51,695 Can you take him to your place and fix him up? 308 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,157 - Sure. - That's good, yeah. 309 00:13:53,182 --> 00:13:54,514 He'll be separated from Katie. 310 00:13:54,562 --> 00:13:56,274 She's the brains of the operation. 311 00:13:56,299 --> 00:13:59,100 Sounds like a job for Old Tough Nuts. 312 00:14:00,024 --> 00:14:02,212 That's what he used to call himself when I was in trouble. 313 00:14:02,236 --> 00:14:03,798 And I was in trouble a lot. 314 00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:05,756 I had a full mustache in fifth grade. 315 00:14:06,731 --> 00:14:08,391 He looked like Sonny Bono. 316 00:14:12,428 --> 00:14:14,537 Since we can't get you to do your homework, 317 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,529 we're turning you over to your grandfather. 318 00:14:16,684 --> 00:14:18,250 We're sorry it's come to this. 319 00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:20,544 That's okay. I like Grandpa. 320 00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:22,670 Our relationship has changed. 321 00:14:26,628 --> 00:14:29,729 So, I have to water the lawn with this, or do my homework? 322 00:14:29,797 --> 00:14:32,965 No, homework's out. This is just your life now. 323 00:14:34,387 --> 00:14:36,158 Can I talk to Grandma? 324 00:14:37,342 --> 00:14:38,704 I sent her to Atlantic City 325 00:14:38,773 --> 00:14:40,272 with a coffee can full of quarters. 326 00:14:40,341 --> 00:14:41,941 No one can save you now. 327 00:14:45,225 --> 00:14:46,936 All right. 328 00:14:47,850 --> 00:14:49,959 The lawn is watered. 329 00:14:50,702 --> 00:14:52,195 Where's my Dixie cup? 330 00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:54,387 It fell apart. I was out there for hours. 331 00:14:54,639 --> 00:14:56,455 That was my favorite cup! 332 00:14:57,959 --> 00:15:00,414 All right, you can pay me back with some elbow grease. 333 00:15:00,439 --> 00:15:01,971 You see those shoes? 334 00:15:01,996 --> 00:15:05,498 Make 'em shiny so I can see my beautiful face. 335 00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:11,170 Dinnertime, grunt. 336 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,640 A can of shrimp? 337 00:15:15,846 --> 00:15:17,946 If you can open it, you can eat it. 338 00:15:21,439 --> 00:15:22,859 Finally done with the dishes. 339 00:15:22,884 --> 00:15:24,165 Can we watch TV now? 340 00:15:24,359 --> 00:15:25,758 Bedtime. 341 00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,754 But it's only 6:30. 342 00:15:28,866 --> 00:15:30,833 You're gonna need that sleep. 343 00:15:30,858 --> 00:15:33,626 Tomorrow you're digging holes in the backyard. 344 00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,238 For what? 345 00:15:35,263 --> 00:15:37,063 To have a place to put all your questions. 346 00:15:44,003 --> 00:15:46,003 Rise and shine, cadet. 347 00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:48,674 It's 4:00 in the morning. 348 00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:51,377 I let you sleep in because I'm a softy. 349 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,664 Morning, fellas. 350 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:05,462 Oh. He's got you counting toothpicks, huh? 351 00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:07,931 There's supposed to be a thousand, 352 00:16:07,955 --> 00:16:09,807 but Grandpa says they always short him a couple. 353 00:16:09,831 --> 00:16:10,840 Yeah. 354 00:16:10,865 --> 00:16:13,365 He made me do that after I asked the school nurse 355 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:14,723 to the eighth grade formal. 356 00:16:16,459 --> 00:16:18,537 All right. Keep an eye on him. 357 00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:21,250 I'm going out back to string some barbed wire 358 00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:22,708 for the obstacle course. 359 00:16:23,497 --> 00:16:25,673 If he makes it through, he earns a can opener. 360 00:16:30,751 --> 00:16:32,752 You've got to get me out of here. I'll do anything. 361 00:16:32,888 --> 00:16:33,930 Even your homework? 362 00:16:33,955 --> 00:16:35,325 I promise. 363 00:16:35,442 --> 00:16:37,128 Mmm, I don't know. 364 00:16:37,153 --> 00:16:39,158 Maybe you should still try the obstacle course. 365 00:16:39,227 --> 00:16:40,537 Grandpa went all the way across town 366 00:16:40,561 --> 00:16:42,027 to get that barbed wire. 367 00:16:42,189 --> 00:16:45,013 No. I'll do all my homework forever. 368 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:46,171 I swear. 369 00:16:46,777 --> 00:16:49,044 Okay. Deal. 370 00:16:49,069 --> 00:16:50,697 You will thank me for this when you're sitting 371 00:16:50,721 --> 00:16:52,772 in your cushy office, eating free muffins. 372 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,299 I know. Can we please leave before he comes back? 373 00:16:55,407 --> 00:16:56,407 Sure. 374 00:16:57,078 --> 00:16:59,211 Now we're both graduates of Camp Tough Nuts. 375 00:16:59,236 --> 00:17:01,151 Did he give you a can of shrimp and no way to open it? 376 00:17:01,175 --> 00:17:02,175 Yep. 377 00:17:02,199 --> 00:17:04,236 Ugh, he's been doing that since the '70s. 378 00:17:04,819 --> 00:17:06,485 Might even be the same can of shrimp. 379 00:17:14,552 --> 00:17:15,751 Okay. 380 00:17:15,776 --> 00:17:17,108 It's time, Teddy. 381 00:17:17,331 --> 00:17:19,042 You need to give up your accomplice. 382 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,267 Who was helping you? 383 00:17:21,292 --> 00:17:23,726 You're the body of the snake, we want the head. 384 00:17:24,738 --> 00:17:27,705 We already have a suspect, so you might as well come clean. 385 00:17:28,950 --> 00:17:31,043 I don't know what you're talking about. 386 00:17:31,653 --> 00:17:34,146 Maybe you can't remember because you're so hungry 387 00:17:34,215 --> 00:17:35,581 from Grandpa's house. 388 00:17:36,739 --> 00:17:37,650 I am. 389 00:17:37,718 --> 00:17:39,755 Then let us jog your memory. 390 00:17:39,824 --> 00:17:41,256 Do it, Andi. 391 00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:45,302 It was Kate. It was all Kate. I never wanted to lie to you. 392 00:17:45,326 --> 00:17:46,446 I love you, Mommy and Daddy. 393 00:17:52,278 --> 00:17:54,543 You're back. What happened? Are you in trouble? 394 00:17:54,568 --> 00:17:56,034 I'm not. 395 00:17:57,171 --> 00:17:59,903 What do you mean? Hey, Teddy? 396 00:18:00,559 --> 00:18:01,574 Teddy! 397 00:18:01,642 --> 00:18:02,942 Teddy, wh-what happened? 398 00:18:03,010 --> 00:18:04,677 Teddy, open the door! 399 00:18:05,424 --> 00:18:07,557 He's not gonna answer, Kate. 400 00:18:07,814 --> 00:18:09,255 Oh, no. 401 00:18:09,942 --> 00:18:13,085 Oh, look. We finally got our big-eyed lip tremble. 402 00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:15,577 - Hmm. - Ooh. She added a knee wobble. 403 00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:16,755 Well, that's new. 404 00:18:16,824 --> 00:18:18,290 I like it. 405 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:21,708 Sad and scared. Now we know we're good parents. 406 00:18:24,536 --> 00:18:25,802 I'm really sorry. 407 00:18:25,827 --> 00:18:29,229 But isn't the guilt I'm feeling punishment enough? I think so. 408 00:18:31,301 --> 00:18:32,972 Is it enough for you, Adam? 409 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,974 Your punishment isn't up to us. 410 00:18:35,278 --> 00:18:36,645 What do you mean? 411 00:18:40,129 --> 00:18:41,280 Grandpa? 412 00:18:41,349 --> 00:18:43,476 Our relationship has changed. 413 00:18:44,919 --> 00:18:46,185 Start running. 414 00:18:46,254 --> 00:18:48,711 I've got a Dixie cup at home with your name on it. 415 00:18:52,812 --> 00:18:55,022 Hey, if the kids can work in packs, so can we. 416 00:18:55,047 --> 00:18:56,128 That's right. 417 00:18:56,297 --> 00:18:58,968 And our pack is scarier 'cause we got the T. rex. 418 00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:08,199 There you are. So, you're not coming to work anymore? 419 00:19:08,224 --> 00:19:09,323 It's been two days. 420 00:19:09,392 --> 00:19:11,169 Well, some people are worker bees, 421 00:19:11,194 --> 00:19:12,677 some people are butterflies. 422 00:19:12,739 --> 00:19:14,262 Me and Teddy are butterflies. 423 00:19:15,177 --> 00:19:17,031 Well, you have to make up those hours. 424 00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:19,220 And I found just the right person to make sure you do. 425 00:19:24,419 --> 00:19:26,040 Mrs. Branch? 426 00:19:26,634 --> 00:19:29,510 Mm-hmm. Still working at the library. 427 00:19:29,579 --> 00:19:31,267 Here. Have a seat. 428 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:35,900 Have a good summer, Don. 31915

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