All language subtitles for Man with a Plan - 04x10 - Full Metal Teddy.web.memento.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

All right, it's report card day.

The least fun day when I was your age,

but the most fun day now.

Hand them over.

I think you'll be pleased.

Ooh, A, B, B, A. ABBA.

My favorite band and my favorite grades.

Wow. Nice report card, Katie.

Is it good enough to go to Harvard? No.

Can we afford Harvard? No.
Right in the sweet spot.

I remember what you said, Dad,
any college that ends in State.

Wow, all smiley faces.

What can I say? People love me.

Okay, girls, great work.

Keep those grades up.

Excellent job, ladies.
Let's get out of here.

Teddy.

Yes, Father?

Where's your report card?

Oh, my school's not
doing grades anymore.

It's just based on how we feel,

and I feel great.

I saw you shove it in
your pocket. Hand it over.

Come on, tight pants.

Good God, a "Z"?

I tried to change a
"D" to a "B" on the bus.

It was bumpy.

Your teachers say you're
not doing your homework.

Look, your grades don't
have to be perfect.

We just expect you to try your best,

but this looks like
you're not trying at all.

Explain yourself, mister.

I'm just looking for
a different lifestyle.

A different lifestyle?

Look, date who you want,
but do your homework.

Homework's a bummer,
man. I want to be free.

Teddy, go to your room.

That's right.

We need some privacy to
talk about your punishment,

and I'll just say this...
everything is on the table.

That was good.

"Everything's on the table." Scary.

It's from a Liam Neeson movie.

Did he think we were gonna buy

- that lifestyle stuff?
- Ugh.

I mean, if you blow off your homework,

you say you lost it or the dog ate it.

- They're classics for a reason.
- Yeah.

Well, we learned with
Katie, at some point,

kids stop doing their homework,

so we're gonna threaten to send Teddy

where we threatened to send her.

Military school.

It's a bluff, but he doesn't know that.

Remember, as soon as Kate heard
the words "military school,"

her eyes got big and her lip trembled.

That's when we knew we had her.

- We should write parenting books.
- Yeah.

You know, someday they're
gonna be too old to scare.

Let's enjoy it while we can.

Your father and I have discussed

the consequences of your report card.

And we've decided what needs to be done.

This is very hard for a mother,

so forgive me if I get
emotional, it's just

I'm gonna miss you so much.

Get ahold of yourself, Andi.

- It's for his own good.
- I know.

Teddy, if you don't
start doing your homework,

we're gonna send you to military school.

- What?
- That's right.

Runcrest Military Academy.

They call it Runcrest
because they make you run

to a crest.

That's a hill.

Just thinking about my baby running up

that scorpion-infested hill,
it just, it breaks my heart.

So what's it gonna be, Teddy, huh?

Homework or military school?

Well, that's easy.

- Hmm.
- Military school.

- Come again?
- What's that now?

I could use the structure.
When do I ship out?

Teddy, go to your room.

This is my room.

Then go to a different
part of your room.

You heard your father.

There, in-in the dusty corner
where the vacuum can't reach.

"Go to a different part of your room"?

I actually said that.

It's like a dragon opened its
mouth and jelly beans shot out.

Don't blame yourself. We were in shock.

What kind of kid wants
to go to military school?

That trick used to
work so well on Katie.

Yeah, but Teddy didn't give
us the big-eye lip tremble.

I want our child sad and scared,
so we know we're good parents.

Sad and Scared... that's
a good title for our book.

Well, he called our bluff.

Yeah, if the kids know we're bluffing,

the wheels come off
this whole family, Andi,

so there's only one thing left to do.

We're gonna actually send
him to military school.

Okay, Runcrest Military Academy.

Whoa-whoa, what-what?
What about Scorpion Hill?

You made that up.

Oh, it's so real to me now.

Okay, look.

Tuition, $300, we can swing that.

That's the application
fee. This is the tuition.

Oh.

He's gonna flunk out of school
and live with us forever.

I don't want to be that
lady walking around Target

with her giant son begging
her for hot dog money.

I can't do it, Adam.

Oh, sorry, Andi, didn't you hear?

He wants a different lifestyle.

Well, he's got to learn that
there is only one lifestyle:

Work hard, then die.

It's the American dream.

We can fix this, okay?
We're still in charge here.

Okay, yeah, you're right.

We'll, uh, we'll just
give Teddy a preview

of what happens to kids who
don't do their homework, yeah.

- And we'll make it look real bad.
- Yes.

I mean, he can't be
that hard to outsmart.

I mean, we saw his report card.

Yeah, yeah, and the best part is,

there's two of us and
there's only one of him.

You can never tell Mom
and Dad I'm helping you.

I won't. You're getting me
out of homework, I owe you.

I got to know, what
happened when you said

you wanted to go to military school?

Dad's eyes got big
and Mom's lip trembled.

This is so great.

I fell for all their tricks
and now I get payback.

So what's next?

Nothing. We just blew
up their biggest move.

They might try one or two
other things, but it won't last.

Every day they get a little
older and a little tireder.

All right, smart guy,
military school's off.

They weren't as strict
as I wanted them to be.

They started letting people smile.

But I can straighten you out right here.

You won't do homework,
you'll do work-work.

Meet me in the driveway and
get ready to sweat. Hi, honey.

Work? These are video game
hands, not real-life hands.

Relax. I know how to deal with this.

How'd he look?

Remember when he was going
down the hill on his bicycle

and the handlebars came off?

He looked like that.

Okay, your job is to take this
messy pile of bricks over here

and turn it into a neat stack of
bricks on the pallet over there.

- That sounds hard.
- Because it is.

If you can't be bothered to do homework,

the only thing people are gonna
trust you with is grunt work.

And the kids who did homework

will get nice, cushy office
jobs with free muffins.

Free muffins, Teddy. Think
about what you're giving up.

So I'm gonna be a bricklayer?

No, no, my friend, you're a brick mover.

You're one step above the brick.

If the brick had legs,
it wouldn't need you.

Get cracking.

Look at him out there in the sun,

full of sweat and regret.

Ooh!

He just dropped a brick on his foot.

- This is going great.
- Yeah.

He's really... not doing that right.

Th-Th-There's gaps,
Andi, gaps in the stack.

Well, he's just getting started.

Yeah, but the beginning is
where you have to be perfect

or everything else is out of whack.

Look at his edges...
they're all cattywampus.

Hey.

That's-that's-that's-that's
not how you do it.

If you got gaps, your
corners aren't square.

Have you never paid attention
to me when I talk about bricks?

We'll just have to start
this whole thing over.

- Hmm?
- That looks good, Dad.

Oh, you think it looks good
now, you just wait till I'm done.

You were right.

I messed the first few
up and he just took over.

Yup, I'm good.

If they gave grades for this,
I would get into Harvard.

Look at that perfect stack of bricks.

Now we accomplished something today.

Did we? 'Cause Teddy's
not even here anymore.

Good, he was slowing me down.

Adam, we were supposed to
be teaching him a lesson,

but instead you did all the work.

It's like he taught us a lesson.

But you saw it, he had gaps.

When Teddy sees this, he will know.

The only thing he'll know is how
to get out of stacking bricks.

Wait a minute, do you think
he messed up on purpose,

knowing I would take over?

Ah, that would require
Teddy taking one thought,

putting it together
with another thought,

and making a new thought.

Can he do that?

I would have said no,
but I'm the chump out here

covered in brick dust.

Getting kids to do homework
is a never-ending struggle.

My girls are in their
fifth year of Chinese,

but they still speak like fourth-years,

so I punish them by
taking away their cellos.

Our kids are gonna be
working for his kids.

Joke's on them.

Our kids'll be terrible employees.

If Teddy doesn't get his act together,

he's gonna wind up in
summer school like I did.

Hey, that's right.

Don, maybe you could talk
some sense into Teddy, huh?

You learned your lesson.

That summer, all my
friends went to camp,

and I had to sit in the
library with Mrs. Branch,

a lady so boring she
was named after a tree.

You know, that could work on Teddy.

He'd hate the idea of summer school.

Yeah. Take him to lunch, Don.

Tell him what happened when
you didn't do your homework.

He'll listen to you. He thinks
you're cool for some reason.

I am cool.

I hate to break it to you,
but you got old and I didn't.

Then take my girls to lunch.

Maybe you can find out
why they've fallen behind

in their Russian literature book club.

You know what, Lowell?
Just go home for the day.

A woman so boring she
was named after a tree.

Mrs. Branch.

Nothing?

Anyway, that's what can happen to you.

See, the thing is, Uncle Don,

- Teddy wants a different lifestyle.
- Yeah.

I'm not climbing the corporate ladder

just 'cause The Man wants me to.

The Man. I hate that guy.

But you work for The Man.

You're his stooge.

You take that back.

If you know a way off
this hamster wheel,

I'm listening.

So, did you get through to Teddy?

No, but Teddy got through to me.

He's really zigging
where the rest of us zag.

What? What does that mean?

Well, it means that Kate
and Teddy's philosophy

really spoke to me.

So, I'm gonna zag on
home and take a nap.

Wait. Kate was there?

Yeah. When I went to pick up
Teddy, she hopped in the car.

She said lunch was on her,
so I stopped asking questions.

Teddy and Katie never hang out together.

Why would she be at that lunch?

Good question.

- And you know something else?
- Hmm?

She was in his room yesterday.

She hasn't been in there since
she caught him trying to twerk

in front of his mirror.

Something's up.

You don't think...

She's helping him.

Why do I feel so scared right now?

Because this is Jurassic Park,

and we just found out they
learned how to work in packs.

So Teddy and Kate formed
a criminal conspiracy.

It is nice they're spending
time together, though.

Snap out it, Andi.

- I'm gonna put an end to this.
- Wait-wait-wait, stop.

Why? I'm all fired up!

Okay. What happens if you
go up there and yell at 'em?

I feel better. And then I watch TV.

Yeah, but that won't get
Teddy to do his homework

and it won't stop Kate from helping him.

Look, our only advantage is
that they don't know we know,

and we have to use that
to take back control.

I want control.

Why did I have kids if I
can't tell 'em what to do?

Yeah.

Everything flows from
problem number one:

how do we get Teddy to do his homework?

Hey, Dad.

"Hey, Dad"?

Why'd you leave a stack
of bricks in your driveway?

Are you trying to tell the whole
neighborhood you've given up?

I... I was teaching Teddy a lesson.

The only lesson he learned
is, his father gives up.

- Did you hear that?
- I certainly did.

My dad can get Teddy into shape.

Just like he did with
me when I got bad grades.

He was a terrible student.

All he wanted to do was
sit in his teacher's lap.

Aw.

He was 13.

Oh.

Yep. There was no estrogen
in the chicken back then.

I was a full man in middle school.

When Dad heard about that,

he made me water the whole front yard

- with a tiny Dixie cup.
- Yeah, it's the slowest,

most painful way to water a lawn,

but delightful to watch.

Joe, we-we've got homework
problems with Teddy.

Can you take him to your
place and fix him up?

- Sure.
- That's good, yeah.

He'll be separated from Katie.

She's the brains of the operation.

Sounds like a job for Old Tough Nuts.

That's what he used to call
himself when I was in trouble.

And I was in trouble a lot.

I had a full mustache in fifth grade.

He looked like Sonny Bono.

Since we can't get you
to do your homework,

we're turning you over
to your grandfather.

We're sorry it's come to this.

That's okay. I like Grandpa.

Our relationship has changed.

So, I have to water the lawn
with this, or do my homework?

No, homework's out. This
is just your life now.

Can I talk to Grandma?

I sent her to Atlantic City

with a coffee can full of quarters.

No one can save you now.

All right.

The lawn is watered.

Where's my Dixie cup?

It fell apart. I was
out there for hours.

That was my favorite cup!

All right, you can pay me
back with some elbow grease.

You see those shoes?

Make 'em shiny so I can
see my beautiful face.

Dinnertime, grunt.

A can of shrimp?

If you can open it, you can eat it.

Finally done with the dishes.

Can we watch TV now?

Bedtime.

But it's only 6:30.

You're gonna need that sleep.

Tomorrow you're digging
holes in the backyard.

For what?

To have a place to
put all your questions.

Rise and shine, cadet.

It's 4:00 in the morning.

I let you sleep in because I'm a softy.

Morning, fellas.

Oh. He's got you
counting toothpicks, huh?

There's supposed to be a thousand,

but Grandpa says they
always short him a couple.

Yeah.

He made me do that after
I asked the school nurse

to the eighth grade formal.

All right. Keep an eye on him.

I'm going out back to
string some barbed wire

for the obstacle course.

If he makes it through,
he earns a can opener.

You've got to get me out
of here. I'll do anything.

Even your homework?

I promise.

Mmm, I don't know.

Maybe you should still
try the obstacle course.

Grandpa went all the way across town

to get that barbed wire.

No. I'll do all my homework forever.

I swear.

Okay. Deal.

You will thank me for
this when you're sitting

in your cushy office,
eating free muffins.

I know. Can we please
leave before he comes back?

Sure.

Now we're both graduates
of Camp Tough Nuts.

Did he give you a can of
shrimp and no way to open it?

Yep.

Ugh, he's been doing
that since the '70s.

Might even be the same can of shrimp.

Okay.

It's time, Teddy.

You need to give up your accomplice.

Who was helping you?

You're the body of the
snake, we want the head.

We already have a suspect, so
you might as well come clean.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Maybe you can't remember
because you're so hungry

from Grandpa's house.

I am.

Then let us jog your memory.

Do it, Andi.

It was Kate. It was all Kate.
I never wanted to lie to you.

I love you, Mommy and Daddy.

You're back. What happened?
Are you in trouble?

I'm not.

What do you mean? Hey, Teddy?

Teddy!

Teddy, wh-what happened?

Teddy, open the door!

He's not gonna answer, Kate.

Oh, no.

Oh, look. We finally got
our big-eyed lip tremble.

- Hmm.
- Ooh. She added a knee wobble.

Well, that's new.

I like it.

Sad and scared. Now we
know we're good parents.

I'm really sorry.

But isn't the guilt I'm feeling
punishment enough? I think so.

Is it enough for you, Adam?

Your punishment isn't up to us.

What do you mean?

Grandpa?

Our relationship has changed.

Start running.

I've got a Dixie cup at
home with your name on it.

Hey, if the kids can
work in packs, so can we.

That's right.

And our pack is scarier
'cause we got the T. rex.

There you are. So, you're
not coming to work anymore?

It's been two days.

Well, some people are worker bees,

some people are butterflies.

Me and Teddy are butterflies.

Well, you have to make up those hours.

And I found just the right
person to make sure you do.

Mrs. Branch?

Mm-hmm. Still working at the library.

Here. Have a seat.

Have a good summer, Don.

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