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1
00:01:11,660 --> 00:01:13,411
Sweetheart.
2
00:01:15,163 --> 00:01:17,415
Go over to the window right now
3
00:01:17,499 --> 00:01:21,002
and open it as wide as you can.
4
00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:24,047
Please let me sleep.
5
00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:38,770
I think your mother's here from Mexico,
6
00:01:38,853 --> 00:01:41,606
and she needs to leave.
7
00:01:41,690 --> 00:01:44,734
Open the window now.
8
00:01:44,859 --> 00:01:47,487
Why don't you open it, you lazy...
9
00:01:51,574 --> 00:01:52,951
Somebody help!
10
00:01:55,036 --> 00:01:56,705
Close your mouth!
11
00:02:02,377 --> 00:02:04,629
No way. Can I ride him?
12
00:02:21,896 --> 00:02:23,481
A deer!
13
00:02:33,575 --> 00:02:35,577
Okay.
14
00:02:39,622 --> 00:02:44,085
Daddy, I left the front door open
in case any animals wanted to come in.
15
00:02:44,169 --> 00:02:45,503
- You did, huh?
- And one did.
16
00:02:45,587 --> 00:02:47,339
- Yeah.
- Yeah, one crazy-ass one.
17
00:02:47,422 --> 00:02:50,258
No, you did a nice thing, sweetheart.
18
00:02:50,342 --> 00:02:52,010
Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!
19
00:02:52,093 --> 00:02:55,013
- Daddy, no!
- No, no, I'm not going to hit the deer.
20
00:02:55,096 --> 00:02:58,016
I'm just going to massage his head
for a little bit with it.
21
00:02:58,099 --> 00:03:00,185
Okay, come on, come on.
22
00:03:06,941 --> 00:03:08,276
He's right here.
23
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,195
He's eating Bowser's food.
24
00:03:11,446 --> 00:03:12,906
Okay, he knows we're here now.
25
00:03:12,989 --> 00:03:15,116
Stay. Stay.
26
00:03:16,534 --> 00:03:18,411
What's he looking at?
27
00:03:19,954 --> 00:03:21,873
Move your doll towards me.
28
00:03:21,956 --> 00:03:23,124
And back to you.
29
00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:25,960
Towards me.
30
00:03:26,044 --> 00:03:27,754
Back to you.
31
00:03:27,837 --> 00:03:29,130
Three times, fast.
32
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:33,760
Give me that thing.
33
00:03:33,843 --> 00:03:36,554
- Mr Gigglesworth?
- No, don't worry. Give it to me.
34
00:03:36,638 --> 00:03:38,640
- Go on. It's okay. It's okay.
- Put it in my hand.
35
00:03:38,723 --> 00:03:40,141
Roxanne, take them in there.
36
00:03:40,225 --> 00:03:41,976
Over there.
37
00:03:42,060 --> 00:03:45,146
Hey, dude. You like this guy?
38
00:03:46,689 --> 00:03:47,982
You want to play with him?
39
00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:51,861
All right, let's go play in the other room.
40
00:03:51,945 --> 00:03:54,823
Come on. Come on, man.
41
00:03:54,948 --> 00:03:56,408
Slowly walk with me.
42
00:03:56,491 --> 00:03:58,034
I said slowly.
43
00:03:58,118 --> 00:03:59,119
No.
44
00:04:00,995 --> 00:04:02,038
Get out of the way!
45
00:04:03,832 --> 00:04:05,792
Oh, my God!
46
00:04:08,211 --> 00:04:10,004
Problem solved.
47
00:04:11,965 --> 00:04:14,384
Mr Gigglesworth! Daddy, he's killing him!
48
00:04:14,592 --> 00:04:16,344
A new problem begins.
49
00:04:16,719 --> 00:04:18,179
I'm sorry.
50
00:04:18,638 --> 00:04:20,181
Is that your bra, Mrs Feder?
51
00:04:22,434 --> 00:04:24,185
Easy.
52
00:04:26,438 --> 00:04:27,564
It is nice.
53
00:04:27,647 --> 00:04:29,232
- Thank you, all right.
- Cool, yeah.
54
00:04:29,315 --> 00:04:30,567
Yeah, come on.
55
00:04:33,945 --> 00:04:35,947
28?
56
00:04:37,365 --> 00:04:39,409
Yes.
57
00:04:41,578 --> 00:04:43,413
35.
58
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:46,916
That's right again, smarty-pants.
59
00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:48,293
Hi, Dad.
60
00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:51,087
- Hey, Bean, working on the math, huh?
- Yep.
61
00:04:51,171 --> 00:04:54,257
Mommy said
if I get all my math questions right,
62
00:04:54,507 --> 00:04:56,801
I get to ride my bike to school
with Becky Feder.
63
00:04:56,926 --> 00:05:01,139
Really? Okay, Bean, well,
what's seven plus nine?
64
00:05:01,222 --> 00:05:02,682
Seventy-nine.
65
00:05:03,641 --> 00:05:07,896
Is he a little boy or a computer?
'Cause I can't figure it out.
66
00:05:08,229 --> 00:05:10,607
Don't destroy his confidence.
67
00:05:10,690 --> 00:05:12,275
Happy summer, everybody.
68
00:05:14,736 --> 00:05:17,489
Okay, you sure you want to go
with those boots, honey?
69
00:05:17,572 --> 00:05:19,282
I know you bedazzled them yourself.
70
00:05:19,365 --> 00:05:21,201
I'm just wondering if they'll attract
71
00:05:21,284 --> 00:05:24,287
too much attention,
you know, from outer space.
72
00:05:24,370 --> 00:05:26,164
It's the last day of school,
73
00:05:26,247 --> 00:05:27,874
and Mom says I'm free to express myself.
74
00:05:28,082 --> 00:05:31,461
Building the confidence
right here with R2-D2.
75
00:05:31,961 --> 00:05:35,548
Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.
76
00:05:35,632 --> 00:05:36,674
Confidence.
77
00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:38,176
Well, we're not gonna have to
pay for college.
78
00:05:38,259 --> 00:05:40,053
That's for sure.
79
00:05:40,136 --> 00:05:42,639
Looks like a horse
took a dump in Ronnie's diaper.
80
00:05:43,806 --> 00:05:46,017
You're gonna need federal aid
to clean that up.
81
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:49,562
Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo grenade
go off in your diaper?
82
00:05:49,646 --> 00:05:52,482
- You gonna change it?
- That's not my son, that's your son.
83
00:05:52,565 --> 00:05:55,443
Yesterday was my diaper day.
84
00:05:55,527 --> 00:05:59,405
Today he is all yours,
and it's gonna get nasty.
85
00:06:00,448 --> 00:06:02,242
Go, Ronnie.
86
00:06:02,325 --> 00:06:04,202
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
87
00:06:04,285 --> 00:06:05,495
He looks like Nicki Minaj
88
00:06:05,578 --> 00:06:08,039
trying to shake her butt implants
back into place.
89
00:06:08,122 --> 00:06:10,708
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- Come on, Ronnie.
90
00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:12,043
Go, Ronnie.
91
00:06:12,126 --> 00:06:13,711
You got a lot of
appointments today, sweetie?
92
00:06:13,795 --> 00:06:15,380
Nah, just one repair job.
93
00:06:15,463 --> 00:06:16,756
Very special.
94
00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:18,508
All right, I'm going in.
95
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,512
What is...
96
00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:28,977
What is this?
97
00:06:29,978 --> 00:06:31,563
A necklace?
98
00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:34,190
Happy 20th anniversary, babe.
99
00:06:34,274 --> 00:06:36,317
Wow, Dad, you remembered.
100
00:06:38,236 --> 00:06:40,280
Yeah.
101
00:06:41,406 --> 00:06:43,449
Mom didn't.
102
00:06:43,616 --> 00:06:46,035
That's cold.
103
00:06:46,452 --> 00:06:48,580
I think I'm gonna bust out of here.
104
00:06:48,663 --> 00:06:50,582
So he gets off the train and nobody's there?
105
00:06:50,665 --> 00:06:52,709
Braden needs to spend
at least one summer with you
106
00:06:52,792 --> 00:06:56,254
so he can say he has a dad,
you deadbeat, Higgins.
107
00:06:56,337 --> 00:06:57,589
Well, not to be mean,
108
00:06:57,672 --> 00:07:00,341
but I'm not even 1,000% sure who you are.
109
00:07:00,842 --> 00:07:02,760
I was up from Florida.
110
00:07:02,844 --> 00:07:07,056
Right in the middle of making out,
I got a really bad case of the hiccups.
111
00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:09,142
Hiccups McGee?
112
00:07:09,225 --> 00:07:13,646
Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't
know about with Hiccups McGee?
113
00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:15,440
And no of fence, but I'm gonna have to ask
114
00:07:15,523 --> 00:07:16,733
for a DNA test, you know,
115
00:07:16,816 --> 00:07:19,319
because you just never...
116
00:07:21,070 --> 00:07:23,114
No need.
117
00:07:23,197 --> 00:07:24,824
Later, Hiccups.
118
00:07:37,879 --> 00:07:39,339
You're him.
119
00:07:39,631 --> 00:07:41,466
Yeah, without the hat.
120
00:07:41,549 --> 00:07:43,718
It's actually a good likeness.
121
00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:46,220
How you doing, man?
122
00:07:47,388 --> 00:07:48,514
I'm your dad.
123
00:07:48,806 --> 00:07:51,392
Nice to see you, Braden.
124
00:07:51,726 --> 00:07:53,394
That's strike one.
125
00:07:54,437 --> 00:07:56,064
Good news is, you get...
126
00:07:56,147 --> 00:07:57,982
Unlimited amount of strikes.
127
00:07:59,484 --> 00:08:01,152
How about I take you to school?
128
00:08:01,569 --> 00:08:03,404
No school.
129
00:08:03,488 --> 00:08:05,156
Summertime.
130
00:08:05,239 --> 00:08:07,867
Not yet. One more day. I know, it's a drag.
131
00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:10,536
Normally I'd let you just blow it off
and play hooky,
132
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,872
but I'm volunteering
at the soup kitchen today,
133
00:08:12,955 --> 00:08:14,540
so when I'm done,
134
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:16,876
I'll come pick you up and we'll hang out.
135
00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:18,419
I got you this, but...
136
00:08:18,503 --> 00:08:21,673
Obviously you're, like, 13, so I don't know,
137
00:08:21,756 --> 00:08:23,216
but it's actually pretty nice
138
00:08:23,299 --> 00:08:25,635
and cute,
and you should cut the head off it, okay.
139
00:08:26,594 --> 00:08:29,138
Well, let's get going.
140
00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:32,350
- Yo, yo, yo, yo, don't forget this.
- Is it a gift?
141
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:34,686
No, it's the Gigglesworth massacre.
142
00:08:34,769 --> 00:08:36,896
I told Becky you could
sew it back together for her.
143
00:08:36,979 --> 00:08:38,147
What?
144
00:08:38,231 --> 00:08:40,191
Martha Stewart couldn't fix this.
145
00:08:40,274 --> 00:08:41,359
Come on.
146
00:08:41,442 --> 00:08:45,363
But you're such a good daddy
for picking up all the pieces.
147
00:08:45,446 --> 00:08:47,031
That's why I've been thinking,
148
00:08:47,115 --> 00:08:48,700
we moved back here to your hometown
149
00:08:48,783 --> 00:08:51,369
so we could have more quality
time with our family, right?
150
00:08:51,452 --> 00:08:52,620
That's right.
151
00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:56,708
How would you feel about expanding?
152
00:08:56,791 --> 00:08:58,960
- Having another kid?
- Yeah.
153
00:08:59,127 --> 00:09:02,714
But it's perfect right now, you know?
154
00:09:02,797 --> 00:09:05,216
If I buy one large pizza, Greg gets two pieces,
155
00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:07,927
Keith gets two, Becky gets one,
you get one, I get four.
156
00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:09,262
It's kind of perfect, you know.
157
00:09:09,345 --> 00:09:10,847
I don't want to have to buy another pie.
158
00:09:12,306 --> 00:09:14,517
Why don't you go on a diet, fat gordo éste?
159
00:09:14,642 --> 00:09:16,436
Come on, I've had a job since I'm 16.
160
00:09:16,519 --> 00:09:18,438
It's the first time I've got a free schedule.
161
00:09:18,521 --> 00:09:20,064
I'm just enjoying the fun.
162
00:09:20,148 --> 00:09:22,734
Don't forget Becky's ballet recital at 11:00.
163
00:09:22,942 --> 00:09:24,694
I got to go to that?
164
00:09:24,777 --> 00:09:26,946
I mean, I get to go to that? Great.
165
00:09:27,155 --> 00:09:30,783
I'm saying, that's... I thought it was sold out.
That's great news.
166
00:09:31,117 --> 00:09:33,953
Have the best last day of
school, my gorgeous children!
167
00:09:34,036 --> 00:09:35,329
I love you all!
168
00:09:35,413 --> 00:09:36,831
- Bye, Mom, bye.
- Bye, Mom.
169
00:09:36,914 --> 00:09:38,249
Yeah, last day of school, Greg.
170
00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:41,085
Last chance to ask out Nancy Arbuckle.
171
00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:43,254
Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?
You like a girl?
172
00:09:43,337 --> 00:09:45,757
Is that why you've been taking
them long showers?
173
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,383
No, I'm conditioning my hair.
174
00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:50,052
That's all I do in the shower...
Condition my hair.
175
00:09:50,136 --> 00:09:51,345
That's not what the deer told me.
176
00:09:51,429 --> 00:09:52,638
That deer's a liar.
177
00:09:54,015 --> 00:09:57,101
I heard too much conditioning
can make you go blind.
178
00:09:57,185 --> 00:09:58,519
What? Where'd you hear that?
179
00:09:58,603 --> 00:10:00,897
- Higgins.
- I should kill him.
180
00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:04,567
He's too chicken to ask her out, Dad,
'cause she's the hottest girl in school,
181
00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:05,735
and Greg is fugly.
182
00:10:05,818 --> 00:10:08,279
So what he's fugly?
All the guys in our family are fugly.
183
00:10:08,362 --> 00:10:10,198
That don't stop us from
getting the hot chicks.
184
00:10:10,281 --> 00:10:13,242
Look at me and look at your mother.
I mean, it makes no sense.
185
00:10:13,326 --> 00:10:14,911
Only in, like, a Hollywood
movie or something.
186
00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:16,704
Every guy in school likes her, Dad.
187
00:10:16,829 --> 00:10:18,039
And you'll be the guy who ends up with her.
188
00:10:18,122 --> 00:10:20,875
You know why? You're gonna follow
my three-step programme.
189
00:10:20,958 --> 00:10:23,461
Number one, make the girl smile.
190
00:10:23,544 --> 00:10:25,797
Number two, tell her she has a nice smile.
191
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,258
Number three, say she has to
go out with you that night.
192
00:10:29,342 --> 00:10:30,301
Why that night?
193
00:10:30,384 --> 00:10:32,720
'Cause it gives her less time
to think about how fugly you are.
194
00:10:32,804 --> 00:10:33,971
'Cause you are fugly.
195
00:10:34,055 --> 00:10:35,723
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.
196
00:10:35,807 --> 00:10:39,101
And Keithie's right...
I'm too chicken to even talk to her.
197
00:10:39,185 --> 00:10:42,146
Hey, you're a Feder.
Feders ain't afraid of women, buddy.
198
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:43,898
That's not the way I'm raising you.
199
00:10:43,981 --> 00:10:46,150
By the way, Dad, did you
ask Mom if I can play football?
200
00:10:46,234 --> 00:10:47,568
No, I was scared.
201
00:10:47,652 --> 00:10:50,696
I'm afraid she's gonna yell at me
in that accent that no one understands.
202
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,698
Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.
203
00:10:52,865 --> 00:10:54,325
School starts at 8:15.
204
00:10:54,408 --> 00:10:57,578
That means we only have 25 minutes.
205
00:10:59,997 --> 00:11:03,751
Daddy, you promise
Mr Gigglesworth will be better by bedtime?
206
00:11:03,835 --> 00:11:06,504
Will you stop worrying about him?
He'll be fine. I love you.
207
00:11:06,587 --> 00:11:08,339
- Have the best last day, okay?
- Okay.
208
00:11:08,422 --> 00:11:09,507
- Bye, guys.
- Bye, Daddy.
209
00:11:09,590 --> 00:11:11,801
- Love you.
- And you read the street signs, okay?
210
00:11:11,884 --> 00:11:13,052
Don't let Bean.
211
00:11:13,177 --> 00:11:16,180
My God, riding their bikes to school.
212
00:11:16,264 --> 00:11:18,850
Couldn't do that in I.A.
with the nuts out there.
213
00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:21,727
Yeah, 'cause thank God
there's no crazy people out here.
214
00:11:28,234 --> 00:11:29,485
How you doing, Nick?
215
00:11:29,652 --> 00:11:33,030
My wife's leaving me after three weeks.
216
00:11:33,114 --> 00:11:35,491
Three weeks? That's not bad for you.
217
00:11:35,575 --> 00:11:36,993
What happened?
218
00:11:37,076 --> 00:11:40,454
She found me eating a banana with my butt.
219
00:11:40,663 --> 00:11:42,373
And she didn't like that?
220
00:11:42,456 --> 00:11:44,542
Yeah, she got really bummed out,
221
00:11:44,625 --> 00:11:47,670
but, you know, I shouldn't have
done it at her mom's house.
222
00:11:47,795 --> 00:11:51,173
Yeah, you... You seem like you're
a little extra out of it today.
223
00:11:51,257 --> 00:11:52,383
What's going on?
224
00:11:52,466 --> 00:11:53,759
Yeah, I'm a little medicated.
225
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:56,846
I met a very reliable doctor
at a Cypress Hill concert,
226
00:11:56,929 --> 00:11:59,724
and he floated me a couple pills
just to feel better, you know.
227
00:11:59,807 --> 00:12:00,808
But I don't feel better!
228
00:12:00,892 --> 00:12:02,518
You feel worse!
229
00:12:08,816 --> 00:12:12,111
Ladies and gentlemen,
meet your new bus driver.
230
00:12:13,654 --> 00:12:15,281
Finally got yourself a job.
231
00:12:15,364 --> 00:12:17,658
Actually I'm filling in for
Drool-io Iglesias back there.
232
00:12:22,955 --> 00:12:24,832
Hey, Deanne, happy anniversary.
233
00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:27,168
Thank you, Lenny.
234
00:12:27,335 --> 00:12:30,087
Lenny remembered. Isn't that sweet?
235
00:12:30,171 --> 00:12:32,715
- And I never got him pregnant.
- She forgot?
236
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,259
- Yeah, she forgot.
- No.
237
00:12:35,343 --> 00:12:37,595
I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free card
in the world.
238
00:12:37,678 --> 00:12:39,180
I want one of those.
239
00:12:39,263 --> 00:12:40,765
You ain't never get one like this. Hey, honey,
240
00:12:40,848 --> 00:12:43,100
I'm gonna take a ride to work with Lenny.
241
00:12:43,184 --> 00:12:46,520
Don't worry about forgetting the 20th.
I'm sure you'll remember the 30th.
242
00:12:46,854 --> 00:12:48,773
I love you.
243
00:12:48,856 --> 00:12:51,567
Yeah, sure you do... Deep down.
244
00:12:58,032 --> 00:13:00,618
That's not another necklace in there, is it?
245
00:13:04,163 --> 00:13:06,624
I'm gonna abuse this get-out-of-jail-free card,
246
00:13:06,707 --> 00:13:08,084
I'm telling you right now.
247
00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:12,004
I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good rug
without taking off my boots.
248
00:13:12,088 --> 00:13:15,383
Or have a nice non-diet soda with my dinner.
249
00:13:15,466 --> 00:13:18,344
Not just one, either, a whole damn pitcher.
250
00:13:18,427 --> 00:13:20,346
- So you're going full gangsta.
- Yeah.
251
00:13:20,429 --> 00:13:22,139
But you know what I'd really like to do?
252
00:13:22,223 --> 00:13:23,641
Throw a "first night of summer" party.
253
00:13:23,724 --> 00:13:25,101
- Yeah.
- You know, something a little crazy.
254
00:13:25,184 --> 00:13:28,187
Well, it's been many, many years
since we've done something crazy.
255
00:13:28,270 --> 00:13:29,647
Just one problem, though.
256
00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:31,357
My house isn't big enough.
257
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,025
But yours is.
258
00:13:33,109 --> 00:13:35,695
Last party I had
was senior year in high school.
259
00:13:35,778 --> 00:13:37,697
Yeah, that was, like, the best night of my life.
260
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:38,781
We all hooked up with chicks.
261
00:13:38,864 --> 00:13:40,658
Come on, why not do that again?
262
00:13:40,741 --> 00:13:45,413
Because we already have chicks and kids
and high cholesterol now, so just...
263
00:13:45,496 --> 00:13:47,540
It's time to move on.
You want to come over tonight with Dee,
264
00:13:47,623 --> 00:13:48,833
that's fine... I think.
265
00:13:48,916 --> 00:13:50,126
I got to ask my wife first.
266
00:13:50,209 --> 00:13:52,128
Okay, gangsta.
267
00:13:52,211 --> 00:13:57,008
Hey, hey, where'd you get
those shoes, Losers "R" Us?
268
00:13:57,091 --> 00:13:58,134
I made them.
269
00:13:58,217 --> 00:13:59,635
You made them?
270
00:13:59,719 --> 00:14:01,262
In a toilet?
271
00:14:02,763 --> 00:14:04,640
That kid's like white Precious.
272
00:14:06,058 --> 00:14:07,018
Get lost, Duffy.
273
00:14:07,101 --> 00:14:08,436
Yeah, leave her alone.
274
00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:10,521
Hey, what'd you say, Hollywood?
275
00:14:10,604 --> 00:14:13,149
- You got something to say to me?
- Nothing, nothing, nothing.
276
00:14:13,232 --> 00:14:16,402
Attention, Kmart shoppers,
let's find a seat, please.
277
00:14:16,485 --> 00:14:17,862
Yes, you in the camouflage jacket
278
00:14:17,945 --> 00:14:19,572
and Mariah Carey hairdo.
279
00:14:19,655 --> 00:14:22,033
Yeah, just pop a squat, thank you.
280
00:14:22,116 --> 00:14:25,494
You're lucky your dad's here,
but he won't be here all day.
281
00:14:25,578 --> 00:14:26,579
Leave me alone.
282
00:14:26,662 --> 00:14:28,664
Beanbag with arms and legs,
283
00:14:28,748 --> 00:14:30,041
seriously, take a seat,
284
00:14:30,124 --> 00:14:32,043
or seats, before someone gets hurt.
285
00:14:33,294 --> 00:14:35,129
You're dead, man.
286
00:14:45,806 --> 00:14:47,725
I'm gonna go get some things done,
287
00:14:47,808 --> 00:14:50,644
and then I'm gonna go
to my daughter's ballet recital,
288
00:14:50,728 --> 00:14:52,730
so you're on your own until lunchtime.
289
00:14:52,813 --> 00:14:54,940
No worries. No one will come in anyway.
290
00:14:56,859 --> 00:14:58,861
Right.
291
00:14:58,944 --> 00:15:02,406
Does Leonard ever talk about me?
292
00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:03,908
Leonard?
293
00:15:03,991 --> 00:15:04,950
Your husband.
294
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,619
Lenny.
295
00:15:06,702 --> 00:15:09,955
I probably should have told you this
before I started working here,
296
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:13,042
but he used to be my boyfriend.
297
00:15:16,670 --> 00:15:18,756
When did you guys go out?
298
00:15:18,839 --> 00:15:19,924
Sixth grade.
299
00:15:20,508 --> 00:15:21,592
This one time,
300
00:15:21,675 --> 00:15:25,513
we split a piece of bubble gum at recess.
301
00:15:29,016 --> 00:15:30,601
I brought in a note
302
00:15:30,684 --> 00:15:35,106
that he sent me, and I
thought you should see it.
303
00:15:35,189 --> 00:15:38,025
I just felt weird having a secret with you.
304
00:15:41,028 --> 00:15:45,241
"Do you like my hair better
in a barrette or a headband?"
305
00:15:45,324 --> 00:15:46,450
That's what I wrote.
306
00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:48,244
"Barrette."
307
00:15:48,327 --> 00:15:50,204
And that was his response.
308
00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:56,627
Does it bother you that I still wear it?
309
00:15:56,710 --> 00:16:00,297
No, no, no, I think it's sweet.
310
00:16:02,758 --> 00:16:04,844
I think he still has feelings for me.
311
00:16:05,219 --> 00:16:06,846
I'm gonna go work out now.
312
00:16:06,929 --> 00:16:09,473
Do you really think that a tight, toned body
313
00:16:09,557 --> 00:16:11,809
will keep him away
from his Hubba Bubba baby?
314
00:16:11,892 --> 00:16:14,979
I hope so. Bye.
315
00:16:15,146 --> 00:16:17,439
You just messed with the wrong girl, chica!
316
00:16:21,068 --> 00:16:23,445
They spray-painted my baby.
317
00:16:23,529 --> 00:16:25,156
Gee, and everything's spelled right.
318
00:16:25,239 --> 00:16:26,907
These can't be my students.
319
00:16:31,245 --> 00:16:33,706
Have a nice day, Rapunzel.
320
00:16:33,789 --> 00:16:36,500
Hey, guys, can you believe this?
321
00:16:36,584 --> 00:16:38,377
Calendar turns to June,
322
00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:40,880
my wonderful students,
they become animals.
323
00:16:40,963 --> 00:16:42,548
Maybe they're just mad that you keep going
324
00:16:42,631 --> 00:16:44,133
to the babyGap to buy your clothes.
325
00:16:44,216 --> 00:16:46,177
Hey, Principal Tardio, good morning.
326
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:47,970
Right to class, right to class.
327
00:16:48,095 --> 00:16:50,806
How was your last ride in
before the summer, Nick?
328
00:16:53,434 --> 00:16:55,352
Remember, today is only a half a day.
329
00:16:55,436 --> 00:16:57,146
- And a half a shirt, right?
- What?
330
00:16:57,229 --> 00:16:59,064
- I said he wants to wave good-bye to you.
- Okay.
331
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:02,526
- Here he goes.
- I'm excited about the summer, too.
332
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:04,695
Hey, that's my laptop! That's not waterproof!
333
00:17:04,778 --> 00:17:07,489
- Monkey boy, monkey boy.
- Summer!
334
00:17:07,573 --> 00:17:09,575
- Monkey boy.
- Summer!
335
00:17:09,658 --> 00:17:12,453
Summer! Summer!
336
00:17:13,704 --> 00:17:15,623
So, what do you think?
337
00:17:15,706 --> 00:17:17,291
Do I take you straight to work?
338
00:17:17,374 --> 00:17:22,046
I got one appointment I got to get to
sometime between 8:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m.
339
00:17:22,129 --> 00:17:23,214
- Okay.
- But she can wait.
340
00:17:23,297 --> 00:17:25,424
Good. And look at this.
341
00:17:25,507 --> 00:17:27,301
He's back at it again.
342
00:17:27,468 --> 00:17:28,802
Why isn't he at work?
343
00:17:28,886 --> 00:17:34,016
He's just... This woman has a grip on him.
It's ridiculous. It's gonna ruin his marriage.
344
00:17:34,975 --> 00:17:36,769
Thank you for breakfast, Mommy.
345
00:17:36,852 --> 00:17:39,855
Will you be coming by to watch
Days of Our Lives later?
346
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:43,442
Well, we got to find out which
twin murdered Renaldo, right?
347
00:17:43,525 --> 00:17:44,818
We sure do.
348
00:17:46,403 --> 00:17:48,030
- Okay.
- Hey, Mrs Lamonsoff,
349
00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:49,114
good to see you.
350
00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,408
Nice school bus, Lenny.
351
00:17:51,492 --> 00:17:53,160
Thank you. Have a great day.
352
00:17:53,244 --> 00:17:55,037
Did Mommy make the boo-boo go away?
353
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,830
Don't tell the wife.
354
00:17:56,914 --> 00:17:58,040
What are you guys doing?
355
00:17:58,123 --> 00:17:59,833
Get in.
356
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,962
Oh, hey, Nick.
357
00:18:03,045 --> 00:18:04,129
Nice. Nice.
358
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:05,547
Let's hit it.
359
00:18:05,631 --> 00:18:07,466
Watch this.
360
00:18:11,178 --> 00:18:13,430
- Wow.
- You got to respect that.
361
00:18:13,514 --> 00:18:14,515
That was awesome.
362
00:18:15,557 --> 00:18:18,852
What's Lenny's problem?
They're so cute when they're little.
363
00:18:19,019 --> 00:18:21,105
I know. I miss it.
364
00:18:21,188 --> 00:18:23,774
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.
365
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,028
You miss that? Really?
366
00:18:28,570 --> 00:18:30,572
Stay. Stay.
367
00:18:30,656 --> 00:18:31,907
Don't you growl at me.
368
00:18:31,991 --> 00:18:33,075
Stay, baby, stay.
369
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:34,285
Excuse me.
370
00:18:34,368 --> 00:18:36,453
Is your kid gonna be in here
when the instructor comes in?
371
00:18:36,537 --> 00:18:37,955
That's not my kid.
372
00:18:38,038 --> 00:18:40,833
That's my lover, and he's very gentle.
373
00:18:43,544 --> 00:18:45,587
Kids don't belong in here.
374
00:18:45,671 --> 00:18:47,381
That leash better not trip me up.
375
00:18:47,464 --> 00:18:48,924
Leash isn't gonna trip you up.
376
00:18:49,008 --> 00:18:52,094
It's your big-ass, hairy man feet
that are gonna trip you up.
377
00:18:53,846 --> 00:18:55,723
She was just joking around, sir.
378
00:18:56,724 --> 00:18:58,475
Cool it. You're gonna get us killed.
379
00:18:58,559 --> 00:19:01,103
I'm sorry. I'm having the worst day.
380
00:19:01,186 --> 00:19:03,397
Welcome to Squat Fitness, ladies.
381
00:19:03,647 --> 00:19:06,650
Apparently your new instructor's
running a bit late.
382
00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:08,485
I'm sorry. It's only five till...
383
00:19:08,569 --> 00:19:11,405
Yeah, so he asked me to lead you
in some warm-up exercises.
384
00:19:11,530 --> 00:19:14,658
So, everybody, up on your feet,
385
00:19:14,742 --> 00:19:17,286
and let's take a deep breath.
386
00:19:17,369 --> 00:19:18,662
Good.
387
00:19:18,746 --> 00:19:20,956
Deeper... Really stretch out those lungs.
388
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,207
And now let's shimmy.
389
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:23,625
Shake the shoulders back and forth.
390
00:19:23,709 --> 00:19:25,461
Shake them.
391
00:19:25,544 --> 00:19:27,254
Very good, very good.
392
00:19:27,338 --> 00:19:29,923
Yeah, oh, yeah.
393
00:19:30,007 --> 00:19:32,426
Now let's do some jackhammer squats.
394
00:19:32,634 --> 00:19:35,012
Right, put your hands
in front of you like this. Just relax.
395
00:19:35,095 --> 00:19:36,930
And then squat up and down but fast.
396
00:19:37,014 --> 00:19:38,557
Faster, faster, there you go.
397
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,641
Really fast.
398
00:19:39,725 --> 00:19:41,310
Faster, faster.
399
00:19:41,393 --> 00:19:43,228
Too fast. Do it a little slower.
400
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:44,605
Now, everybody turn,
401
00:19:44,688 --> 00:19:47,107
face the back of the room, bend over,
402
00:19:47,191 --> 00:19:48,692
and reach for your toes.
403
00:19:48,776 --> 00:19:49,818
Why do we have to turn around?
404
00:19:49,902 --> 00:19:51,028
If you please.
405
00:19:52,112 --> 00:19:55,741
And bend over as low as you can go.
406
00:19:55,824 --> 00:19:59,453
Now take the right hand and
slap it against the right cheek.
407
00:19:59,703 --> 00:20:02,373
Relax the wrist and slap
that right butt, slap it.
408
00:20:02,623 --> 00:20:05,250
Good, I want to hear that slap.
409
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,669
Yes, this is wonderful.
410
00:20:07,878 --> 00:20:10,047
Morning, ladies.
411
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:11,548
You started without me?
412
00:20:11,632 --> 00:20:13,801
Yes, just like you asked me to.
413
00:20:14,218 --> 00:20:16,345
Say it's true even if it isn't.
414
00:20:16,428 --> 00:20:18,180
What?
415
00:20:18,263 --> 00:20:21,016
You loved it! You loved it!
416
00:20:23,977 --> 00:20:25,896
Yeah, that's my boy.
417
00:20:25,979 --> 00:20:28,315
- All right.
- You're all prostitutes!
418
00:20:28,482 --> 00:20:30,442
Anyway, I'm Kyle,
419
00:20:30,526 --> 00:20:34,363
and welcome to the summer
session of Squatrobics 101.
420
00:20:34,446 --> 00:20:38,200
I wish they called it something else,
but that's what they told me to say.
421
00:20:38,283 --> 00:20:41,995
Okay, so, before we start for real,
422
00:20:42,079 --> 00:20:43,205
any questions?
423
00:20:43,288 --> 00:20:44,581
Yes.
424
00:20:44,665 --> 00:20:45,958
Are you married?
425
00:20:46,041 --> 00:20:47,126
No.
426
00:20:47,209 --> 00:20:48,377
Nope, I'm... I'm single.
427
00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:50,170
Yeah.
428
00:20:50,254 --> 00:20:54,550
I forgot.
You're so gorgeous, my head is spinning.
429
00:20:54,633 --> 00:20:55,926
I'm sorry. God.
430
00:20:56,844 --> 00:20:58,053
Go ahead.
431
00:20:58,137 --> 00:21:02,224
I have a very important question,
and it's a two-parter.
432
00:21:02,307 --> 00:21:05,686
The first part of the question is,
"Did a scientist make you in a lab?"
433
00:21:05,769 --> 00:21:07,438
And the second part of the question is,
434
00:21:07,521 --> 00:21:09,857
"Can I stick my tongue
down your throat, please?"
435
00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:13,610
All right, guys, look,
I'm flattered. Really, I am,
436
00:21:13,694 --> 00:21:17,614
but most of you are married
and I happen to be gay.
437
00:21:19,366 --> 00:21:20,492
Of course he is.
438
00:21:20,576 --> 00:21:22,202
- All of 'em.
- That sucks!
439
00:21:22,286 --> 00:21:23,495
What a waste!
440
00:21:23,579 --> 00:21:24,955
Stay out of my bag, little man.
441
00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:27,082
Why does she have this?
442
00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:29,376
That's not a jock strap,
that's a G-string.
443
00:21:53,734 --> 00:21:54,985
Well, well, well,
444
00:21:55,068 --> 00:21:56,695
if it isn't Hollywood
445
00:21:56,778 --> 00:21:59,156
and the Squares.
446
00:21:59,239 --> 00:22:01,492
Hey, Malcolm, I didn't
know you worked at Kmart,
447
00:22:01,575 --> 00:22:04,328
and apparently the hair on top of your head
didn't know it, either.
448
00:22:04,411 --> 00:22:05,579
What?
449
00:22:05,662 --> 00:22:06,830
Do me a favour, go like this.
450
00:22:06,914 --> 00:22:08,624
I think I got something in my teeth.
451
00:22:08,707 --> 00:22:10,000
- What?
- You know,
452
00:22:10,083 --> 00:22:13,504
next time, you should use
that Chia Pet stuff on your whole head.
453
00:22:13,587 --> 00:22:14,838
What?
454
00:22:14,922 --> 00:22:15,881
Why is Higgins buying
455
00:22:15,964 --> 00:22:17,382
O.J.'s knife right now?
456
00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:19,593
- You think you're tough?
- Hey, Malcolm,
457
00:22:19,676 --> 00:22:22,304
is that the knife the Indians
used to half-scalp you with?
458
00:22:22,387 --> 00:22:23,597
I don't even get that.
459
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:24,973
What?
460
00:22:25,057 --> 00:22:26,141
Come on, let's cheer him up
461
00:22:26,225 --> 00:22:27,518
Benny Hill-style. Here we go.
462
00:22:27,601 --> 00:22:28,727
Come on, come on, come on, come on...
463
00:22:28,810 --> 00:22:29,978
Does that make you feel better?
464
00:22:30,062 --> 00:22:33,857
Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee,
how'd it go with the kid?
465
00:22:33,941 --> 00:22:35,692
Good, good. He's in school.
466
00:22:35,776 --> 00:22:37,694
Kid's in school for one day?
467
00:22:37,778 --> 00:22:40,864
I didn't know what else to do.
He's a thug, Lenny.
468
00:22:40,948 --> 00:22:43,534
He cut the head off a teddy bear.
Imagine what he'll do to me.
469
00:22:43,617 --> 00:22:46,078
So you're gonna buy this to cut his head off?
470
00:22:46,161 --> 00:22:48,372
No,
I just want him to think I'll cut his head off
471
00:22:48,455 --> 00:22:49,998
so then he won't cut my head off.
472
00:22:50,082 --> 00:22:53,043
You want to scare a relative
without causing permanent injury?
473
00:22:53,544 --> 00:22:55,671
May I suggest this?
474
00:22:59,174 --> 00:23:03,929
Sir? Sir? Can you get off the bed?
475
00:23:04,012 --> 00:23:05,722
It's wake-up time.
476
00:23:05,806 --> 00:23:10,394
Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up!
Stop yelling at me.
477
00:23:10,477 --> 00:23:12,604
Now, why is... Being mean?
478
00:23:12,688 --> 00:23:16,024
I like sleeping over. It's just you always yell.
479
00:23:16,108 --> 00:23:18,110
You don't have to yell at me.
480
00:23:18,193 --> 00:23:19,987
I love you.
481
00:23:20,070 --> 00:23:21,446
I don't understand.
482
00:23:24,533 --> 00:23:26,243
Clean-up, aisle nine.
483
00:23:26,326 --> 00:23:28,745
Get out of me!
484
00:23:28,829 --> 00:23:31,707
And bring a shovel.
485
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,377
So, my son Bumpty told me
486
00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:38,088
he's gonna ask your daughter
out on a date at school today.
487
00:23:38,171 --> 00:23:40,966
First of all, my daughter's
never been out on a date before,
488
00:23:41,049 --> 00:23:43,927
and I'm sure she's not gonna start off
with some kid named Bumpty.
489
00:23:44,011 --> 00:23:46,972
He is the only other black kid in her grade.
490
00:23:47,055 --> 00:23:48,849
Wait, you want her to date a white guy?
491
00:23:48,932 --> 00:23:50,434
Yeah, Farrakhan.
492
00:23:50,517 --> 00:23:52,603
I'd rather she date the whitest
white guy in the world
493
00:23:52,686 --> 00:23:54,771
than your little bald-headed boy.
494
00:23:55,063 --> 00:23:57,941
All right, but, you know,
don't worry when she says yes,
495
00:23:58,025 --> 00:23:59,693
'cause I already had the talk with him.
496
00:23:59,776 --> 00:24:01,528
- What talk?
- Dating.
497
00:24:01,612 --> 00:24:04,406
I told him how we used to roll
with the ladies in high school.
498
00:24:04,489 --> 00:24:07,868
You know, beep-beep.
499
00:24:10,579 --> 00:24:12,789
What?
500
00:24:12,873 --> 00:24:15,334
I should get some pepper spray for my kid.
501
00:24:15,417 --> 00:24:17,836
Some moron on the bus
keeps messing with him,
502
00:24:17,919 --> 00:24:19,713
and he refuses to fight back.
503
00:24:19,796 --> 00:24:22,174
You know, that reminds me
of someone I know.
504
00:24:22,257 --> 00:24:23,675
- Who?
- You.
505
00:24:23,759 --> 00:24:25,677
What are you talking about?
I got in plenty of fights.
506
00:24:25,761 --> 00:24:27,512
Remember ninth grade
when Tommy Cavanaugh
507
00:24:27,596 --> 00:24:29,056
moved here from Texas?
508
00:24:29,139 --> 00:24:32,601
He nonstop abused you,
and you did nothing about it.
509
00:24:32,684 --> 00:24:34,519
Tommy Cavanaugh was a 'roid freak.
510
00:24:34,603 --> 00:24:36,605
He had back zits on his back zits.
511
00:24:36,688 --> 00:24:38,273
Plus, he was joking around with me.
512
00:24:38,357 --> 00:24:41,318
If it was real, I swear to God,
I would've knocked him out.
513
00:24:41,401 --> 00:24:42,611
Hey, isn't that Cavanaugh right there?
514
00:24:42,694 --> 00:24:44,655
Where?
515
00:24:45,614 --> 00:24:46,657
Gotcha.
516
00:24:46,740 --> 00:24:48,825
That was really funny, man, really funny.
517
00:24:48,909 --> 00:24:52,663
Hey, you weren't exactly Captain Courageous
when we were growing up, now, were you?
518
00:24:52,746 --> 00:24:54,623
Hey, I never backed out of a fight, though.
519
00:24:54,706 --> 00:24:57,167
Yeah, but did you ever jump
off Suicide 35 at the quarry?
520
00:24:57,250 --> 00:24:58,752
That's right.
521
00:24:58,835 --> 00:25:00,921
He always came up
with a lame excuse not to do it.
522
00:25:01,004 --> 00:25:02,506
- What are you talking about?
-"I can't.
523
00:25:02,589 --> 00:25:04,883
"I'm on my period. It'll attract sharks."
524
00:25:05,676 --> 00:25:10,013
Suicide 35 off the top rock.
35 feet above the water.
525
00:25:10,097 --> 00:25:13,308
My mom did that jump
when she was pregnant with me.
526
00:25:22,776 --> 00:25:24,528
There's a raft in there?
527
00:25:32,244 --> 00:25:34,162
Who did that?
528
00:25:35,914 --> 00:25:38,750
All right, little birds. Find your nests, man.
529
00:25:38,959 --> 00:25:42,629
Float down. There we go, and we're in.
530
00:25:42,713 --> 00:25:43,797
All right, guys,
531
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,217
normally we don't have exciting news
this late into the term,
532
00:25:47,300 --> 00:25:50,637
but we have a new student joining us today,
Braden Higgins.
533
00:25:50,721 --> 00:25:51,972
Hey, there's an empty seat over there, man.
534
00:25:52,055 --> 00:25:54,307
Why don't you go cop a squat?
535
00:25:58,603 --> 00:26:00,564
Or go that way, man.
536
00:26:00,647 --> 00:26:02,649
Take your own path.
537
00:26:07,988 --> 00:26:09,906
No.
538
00:26:09,990 --> 00:26:11,408
I sit here.
539
00:26:17,497 --> 00:26:19,583
Is your dad Marcus Higgins?
540
00:26:19,666 --> 00:26:22,252
Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby.
He's the funniest.
541
00:26:22,335 --> 00:26:24,463
The best. Great, great man.
542
00:26:25,672 --> 00:26:28,467
I want to smash his face.
543
00:26:28,550 --> 00:26:30,552
- Yeah, me, too.
- Yeah, I hate that guy.
544
00:26:30,635 --> 00:26:32,512
Screw him.
545
00:26:35,015 --> 00:26:38,769
Yo, Charlotte, hold up, hold up. Question...
546
00:26:38,852 --> 00:26:41,938
How would you like to spend
the first night of summer
547
00:26:42,022 --> 00:26:44,775
with a hardcore up-and-comer?
548
00:26:45,859 --> 00:26:47,027
What does that mean?
549
00:26:47,110 --> 00:26:48,612
I think he's asking you out.
550
00:26:48,695 --> 00:26:49,738
He is?
551
00:26:49,821 --> 00:26:51,364
You are?
552
00:26:51,448 --> 00:26:52,949
I don't make stuff up.
553
00:26:53,033 --> 00:26:55,410
Well, can Donna come?
554
00:26:55,494 --> 00:26:57,412
Three's a crowd, McCloud.
555
00:26:57,496 --> 00:26:59,581
No, he didn't. Yes, he did.
556
00:26:59,664 --> 00:27:03,376
It's okay, Charlotte.
It's a date, your first date.
557
00:27:03,460 --> 00:27:04,544
Just you two.
558
00:27:06,546 --> 00:27:08,131
All right. I mean,
559
00:27:08,215 --> 00:27:09,925
I'd have to ask my parents,
560
00:27:10,008 --> 00:27:12,511
but I think that would be okay.
561
00:27:12,594 --> 00:27:13,595
Hey, Bumpty.
562
00:27:13,678 --> 00:27:16,139
You think just because
it's the last day of school,
563
00:27:16,223 --> 00:27:19,267
you can sit and socialise the entire period?
564
00:27:19,351 --> 00:27:22,437
I don't think about stuff like that,
Lady Shorts.
565
00:27:22,521 --> 00:27:23,730
Well, can you think fast?
566
00:27:26,399 --> 00:27:28,985
Who wants to watch me climb a rope?
567
00:27:29,069 --> 00:27:32,405
Yeah!
568
00:27:34,074 --> 00:27:35,075
You're the man!
569
00:27:36,409 --> 00:27:40,121
Yo, he's got to put those Easter eggs
back in the basket.
570
00:27:40,205 --> 00:27:41,706
Dang!
571
00:27:41,790 --> 00:27:43,834
Kelly, I don't want to hear it!
572
00:27:44,042 --> 00:27:45,752
I can't take it any more!
573
00:27:45,836 --> 00:27:48,004
I wish I never had you!
574
00:27:48,088 --> 00:27:49,756
Stop it! Stop it!
575
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,800
See, that's why I don't want four kids.
576
00:27:52,467 --> 00:27:54,261
- Yeah, people with four just lose their minds.
- Yeah.
577
00:27:54,344 --> 00:27:55,595
They're yelling, they're screaming.
578
00:27:55,679 --> 00:27:57,764
Sometimes they go to jail
just to get some sleep.
579
00:27:57,848 --> 00:28:00,267
Hold up. Hang on.
580
00:28:00,350 --> 00:28:01,601
I got a burpsnart coming.
581
00:28:05,438 --> 00:28:07,899
- Come on.
- You got to teach me how you do that.
582
00:28:07,983 --> 00:28:09,442
- A burpsnart? It's simple.
- Yeah.
583
00:28:09,526 --> 00:28:11,152
You just start with a burp,
584
00:28:11,236 --> 00:28:13,029
then you sniff for a sneeze,
you get that going,
585
00:28:13,113 --> 00:28:14,322
and that triggers a fart, always.
586
00:28:14,406 --> 00:28:16,658
What's up with this school bus?
587
00:28:16,741 --> 00:28:19,661
Okay. I stole it.
588
00:28:19,744 --> 00:28:21,955
What? Put your hands in the air.
589
00:28:23,874 --> 00:28:27,377
And wave them like you just don't care
Say "ho"
590
00:28:28,461 --> 00:28:29,462
Say "ho"
591
00:28:31,131 --> 00:28:33,174
I heard you're having a party tonight, Lenny.
592
00:28:33,258 --> 00:28:35,343
What? I'm not having a party.
593
00:28:35,427 --> 00:28:36,469
Where did you hear that?
594
00:28:36,553 --> 00:28:39,097
He's a cop. He hears everything.
595
00:28:39,180 --> 00:28:40,181
Oh, God.
596
00:28:40,265 --> 00:28:41,975
Look, it's Magnum P.U.
597
00:28:42,058 --> 00:28:44,102
Look at him getting all serious.
I still can't believe
598
00:28:44,185 --> 00:28:47,063
you're a cop after all the
sick stuff you did growing up.
599
00:28:47,147 --> 00:28:49,733
The Peter Dante who stole
your parents' snowmobile
600
00:28:49,816 --> 00:28:52,652
and sold it to purchase
crack cocaine is dead, Feder.
601
00:28:52,736 --> 00:28:54,404
This side of the law is way better.
602
00:28:54,487 --> 00:28:56,990
To serve and protect. Got to love it.
603
00:28:57,073 --> 00:28:59,326
Hey, McKenzie, I heard you
assaulted somebody in there.
604
00:28:59,409 --> 00:29:02,579
I didn't assault anybody.
I just choked out your brother.
605
00:29:02,662 --> 00:29:05,790
Yeah, he deserves it. He's crazy.
606
00:29:05,874 --> 00:29:08,668
We got five minutes
to get to that stupid recital.
607
00:29:08,752 --> 00:29:10,837
Recital?
608
00:29:10,921 --> 00:29:13,173
- At McDonough Elementary?
- Yes.
609
00:29:13,256 --> 00:29:15,342
- Can I come?
- Why?
610
00:29:15,425 --> 00:29:17,594
Trust me. Everybody's got to go.
611
00:29:17,677 --> 00:29:19,387
We got five minutes.
We're never gonna make it there.
612
00:29:19,471 --> 00:29:20,597
You'll get there on time,
613
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,975
'cause we're gonna give you
a four-alarm presidential police escort.
614
00:29:24,059 --> 00:29:25,268
Isn't that against the law?
615
00:29:25,352 --> 00:29:27,062
I am the law!
616
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,523
What's happening?
617
00:29:45,664 --> 00:29:47,666
Oh, my God! What just happened?
618
00:29:53,338 --> 00:29:58,301
Welcome, parents,
to final performance of school year,
619
00:29:58,385 --> 00:29:59,386
our June-a-licious
620
00:29:59,469 --> 00:30:01,763
Dance Spectacular!
621
00:30:06,643 --> 00:30:08,103
Now, for this year,
622
00:30:08,186 --> 00:30:09,938
we go throwing a few
623
00:30:10,021 --> 00:30:11,439
hip-hop moves in there.
624
00:30:11,523 --> 00:30:13,525
Like this.
625
00:30:19,906 --> 00:30:22,492
Is fun to dance.
626
00:30:22,575 --> 00:30:25,036
Let the show begin.
627
00:30:28,373 --> 00:30:33,128
So nice of you
to invite your friends and the bus driver
628
00:30:33,211 --> 00:30:36,131
and the police force
to our daughter's dance recital.
629
00:30:36,214 --> 00:30:40,593
Yeah, huge ballet fans, all of them.
630
00:31:03,491 --> 00:31:05,035
She's so cute.
631
00:31:05,118 --> 00:31:06,619
- So cute.
- She's adorable, isn't she?
632
00:31:06,703 --> 00:31:07,954
She is adorable.
633
00:31:08,038 --> 00:31:09,622
- Fantastic stuff.
- Unbelievable.
634
00:31:09,706 --> 00:31:11,291
- Look at her go.
- I am.
635
00:31:11,374 --> 00:31:13,293
I'm looking at her.
636
00:31:24,512 --> 00:31:28,516
I want to arrest her for disturbing the peace.
637
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,602
In my pants.
638
00:31:39,277 --> 00:31:42,072
I'm having a wonderful time.
639
00:31:46,701 --> 00:31:48,661
She's got a solo?
640
00:31:53,374 --> 00:31:54,584
What?
641
00:32:04,052 --> 00:32:08,139
It's fine. I just wish that you
would give me more than eight hours notice
642
00:32:08,223 --> 00:32:10,308
before you tell me that
we're throwing a party, babe.
643
00:32:10,391 --> 00:32:11,768
It's not a party. Get out of here.
644
00:32:11,851 --> 00:32:13,269
- It's a couple people coming by.
- Come on.
645
00:32:13,353 --> 00:32:14,729
How'd you like it?
646
00:32:14,813 --> 00:32:16,523
- You were great, honey.
- Hey!
647
00:32:16,606 --> 00:32:18,525
Where did you learn to dance like that?
648
00:32:18,608 --> 00:32:20,527
She moves like "Yagger"' no?
649
00:32:20,610 --> 00:32:22,362
Yes, she does, she moves like...
650
00:32:22,445 --> 00:32:23,905
Mick Yagger? Is that what you were saying?
651
00:32:23,988 --> 00:32:26,241
Hey, butter buns,
you ready to grab some eats?
652
00:32:26,324 --> 00:32:28,243
Yes.
653
00:32:28,326 --> 00:32:29,911
Cavanaugh.
654
00:32:29,994 --> 00:32:32,330
Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.
655
00:32:32,413 --> 00:32:35,625
Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh.
656
00:32:35,708 --> 00:32:37,544
He was my old steroid that I grew up with.
657
00:32:37,627 --> 00:32:38,628
This is my...
658
00:32:38,711 --> 00:32:40,755
Wife, Roxanne.
659
00:32:40,839 --> 00:32:42,465
Why are your hands shaking, Daddy?
660
00:32:42,549 --> 00:32:43,758
My hands are shaking?
661
00:32:43,842 --> 00:32:45,468
Probably because I
662
00:32:45,552 --> 00:32:47,804
had too much coffee
this morning, sweetheart.
663
00:32:47,887 --> 00:32:50,431
I heard you been running around
saying you could take me in a fight.
664
00:32:50,515 --> 00:32:52,684
You... I wouldn't say that.
665
00:32:52,767 --> 00:32:54,561
Yeah, you did, this morning in Kmart.
666
00:32:54,644 --> 00:32:56,312
Kmart? Was I there?
667
00:32:56,396 --> 00:32:58,356
- I don't think I was there.
- You know,
668
00:32:58,439 --> 00:32:59,816
all I can remember about this guy
669
00:32:59,899 --> 00:33:01,734
is smacking him around
whenever I wanted to,
670
00:33:01,818 --> 00:33:03,736
and him not doing a single thing about it.
671
00:33:03,820 --> 00:33:07,157
Yeah, we had a lot of
good times like that growing up.
672
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,076
Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?
Are you crying?
673
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,203
You don't stop talking, do you?
674
00:33:12,287 --> 00:33:14,122
Honey, we should be getting going.
675
00:33:14,205 --> 00:33:15,331
Sure, baby.
676
00:33:15,415 --> 00:33:17,500
I want you to stop making up
lies about kicking my ass
677
00:33:17,584 --> 00:33:18,960
or I'm gonna have to set you straight.
678
00:33:19,043 --> 00:33:20,295
Sure, sure, sure.
679
00:33:20,378 --> 00:33:22,130
I'll see you around.
680
00:33:22,213 --> 00:33:25,008
Becky, you be having great summer.
681
00:33:26,593 --> 00:33:28,469
I was one inch away
682
00:33:28,553 --> 00:33:30,847
from knocking that guy out,
and I swear to God.
683
00:33:30,930 --> 00:33:31,931
No, you weren't.
684
00:33:32,015 --> 00:33:33,558
This is grown-up talk,
685
00:33:33,641 --> 00:33:35,101
so butt out!
686
00:33:37,896 --> 00:33:39,397
That's insane! What did you say to him?
687
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,150
I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh,
you speak to me like that again
688
00:33:42,233 --> 00:33:45,195
"in front of my wife and kid,
I will brush your teeth with a brick."
689
00:33:45,278 --> 00:33:47,405
No, you didn't. You just yelled at me.
690
00:33:47,488 --> 00:33:49,407
- I don't yell at you!
- Calm down.
691
00:33:49,490 --> 00:33:50,700
No, I'm just saying.
692
00:33:50,783 --> 00:33:52,118
You guys were in the bathroom.
693
00:33:52,285 --> 00:33:54,287
Look who's here, everybody.
694
00:33:54,370 --> 00:33:57,248
20 VOSS waters, right?
695
00:33:57,332 --> 00:33:59,209
- That's how they do it in Hollyweird.
- I don't know.
696
00:33:59,292 --> 00:34:02,587
We haven't lived there in, what,
10 months now or something?
697
00:34:02,712 --> 00:34:06,132
As a matter of fact, our son
starts work here tonight.
698
00:34:06,216 --> 00:34:08,718
I know. I heard you brown-nosed Mr Pappas
699
00:34:08,801 --> 00:34:11,137
and now Showbiz Junior's got a job.
700
00:34:11,221 --> 00:34:13,723
I used to scoop cones here,
and why shouldn't he?
701
00:34:13,806 --> 00:34:15,642
It's a great first job for a kid.
702
00:34:17,101 --> 00:34:19,354
Or lifetime job.
703
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,231
Okay, what are we having?
704
00:34:21,314 --> 00:34:22,482
Becky, what do you want, hon?
705
00:34:22,649 --> 00:34:25,026
Can I have the soft chocolate cup, please?
706
00:34:25,109 --> 00:34:27,862
Here's a word you probably never heard, no.
707
00:34:27,946 --> 00:34:29,280
The machine's busted, princess.
708
00:34:29,614 --> 00:34:32,617
Bummer, it's broken? Like all your dreams?
709
00:34:33,660 --> 00:34:35,662
You know what, it's easy to fix.
I can help you with that.
710
00:34:35,745 --> 00:34:38,081
What do you know about fixing
ice cream machines, Higgins?
711
00:34:38,164 --> 00:34:40,375
I went to DeVry for a year.
712
00:34:40,458 --> 00:34:42,710
- That's right.
- I can fix anything with a plug.
713
00:34:42,794 --> 00:34:43,920
Including your hair?
714
00:34:44,003 --> 00:34:46,422
That's not true.
I don't even know how that got started.
715
00:34:46,506 --> 00:34:48,091
That's, like, people are
saying that around town.
716
00:34:48,174 --> 00:34:49,300
I'll walk you through it.
717
00:34:49,384 --> 00:34:51,594
You just walk up,
climb up the machine, lean over the back.
718
00:34:51,678 --> 00:34:53,304
Can't believe I'm listening to this idiot.
719
00:34:53,388 --> 00:34:54,389
Listen to the man.
720
00:34:54,472 --> 00:34:55,598
You're gonna see
721
00:34:55,682 --> 00:34:56,724
two pipes coming into the top.
722
00:34:56,808 --> 00:34:58,434
- Yes!
- In between them,
723
00:34:58,518 --> 00:34:59,936
there's gonna be a silver button.
724
00:35:00,019 --> 00:35:01,020
Hit it a little bit.
725
00:35:01,104 --> 00:35:02,105
Push hard.
726
00:35:02,188 --> 00:35:04,023
No. Hit it with your fist.
727
00:35:04,107 --> 00:35:05,775
Yeah, just push the button.
728
00:35:05,858 --> 00:35:07,443
- I got it.
- There we go!
729
00:35:07,527 --> 00:35:09,028
I think we're getting somewhere.
730
00:35:09,112 --> 00:35:10,321
Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...
731
00:35:11,197 --> 00:35:12,282
Force it. That's it.
732
00:35:15,326 --> 00:35:17,620
Hey! Why is Dickie crapping
all over the ice cream stand?
733
00:35:17,704 --> 00:35:18,663
What'd she say?
734
00:35:18,746 --> 00:35:20,957
- Nothing! Nothing!
- Go! Just go!
735
00:35:22,875 --> 00:35:24,961
Go, Dickie!
736
00:35:25,044 --> 00:35:27,964
That's where ice cream comes from?
737
00:35:28,047 --> 00:35:34,387
And so we've reached the end
of another school year.
738
00:35:35,555 --> 00:35:37,807
Froot Loop?
739
00:35:37,890 --> 00:35:38,891
Ten months
740
00:35:38,975 --> 00:35:41,936
of learning, growth
741
00:35:42,020 --> 00:35:43,730
and, yes, hopefully,
742
00:35:43,813 --> 00:35:45,982
a little bit of fun.
743
00:35:46,065 --> 00:35:50,403
But the journey we began
together, in September,
744
00:35:50,570 --> 00:35:52,989
does not end today.
745
00:35:53,072 --> 00:35:56,034
For education is a process
746
00:35:56,117 --> 00:36:00,621
that does not begin and end
on some set schedule...
747
00:36:02,248 --> 00:36:05,043
Please let me finish. Return to your seats.
748
00:36:07,253 --> 00:36:08,338
Damn you!
749
00:36:08,421 --> 00:36:09,881
Every year, you do this to me!
750
00:36:09,964 --> 00:36:13,593
And this was my favourite shirt
from when I was 12!
751
00:36:13,676 --> 00:36:15,386
How you doing, sophomore?
752
00:36:15,470 --> 00:36:16,888
Not bad, sophomore.
753
00:36:16,971 --> 00:36:17,972
Come here!
754
00:36:25,271 --> 00:36:27,523
Hey, you're not a statue.
755
00:36:27,607 --> 00:36:29,359
You're an ass-tue.
756
00:36:30,109 --> 00:36:31,861
Doesn't even make any sense.
757
00:36:31,944 --> 00:36:33,154
Shut up!
758
00:36:35,406 --> 00:36:37,200
What? What? What?
759
00:36:37,283 --> 00:36:40,036
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
760
00:36:44,290 --> 00:36:45,666
What's up, man?
761
00:36:45,750 --> 00:36:46,834
Your dad picking you up?
762
00:36:47,919 --> 00:36:49,545
I don't know.
763
00:36:49,629 --> 00:36:51,881
I told him it'd be cool if he
stayed late at the soup kitchen,
764
00:36:51,964 --> 00:36:53,716
so it's on me.
765
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,344
Well, you can come on the bus
with us, if you want.
766
00:36:56,427 --> 00:36:58,388
Nah, how about we do something fun?
767
00:36:59,305 --> 00:37:02,350
How about we do something
we're not supposed to?
768
00:37:04,352 --> 00:37:05,770
"Keep out."
769
00:37:05,853 --> 00:37:08,314
That just makes me want to not keep out.
770
00:37:08,606 --> 00:37:11,567
Heard our dads used to come
swimming here, back in the day.
771
00:37:11,651 --> 00:37:15,696
They claim to be all squeaky clean,
but I think they were nuts.
772
00:37:27,500 --> 00:37:28,918
College kids.
773
00:37:29,001 --> 00:37:30,670
We better go.
774
00:37:31,254 --> 00:37:33,423
No go.
775
00:37:33,506 --> 00:37:34,841
Stay.
776
00:37:45,184 --> 00:37:47,103
He's nuts.
777
00:37:47,186 --> 00:37:48,271
Let's go.
778
00:37:48,354 --> 00:37:49,439
Hey!
779
00:37:49,522 --> 00:37:50,982
Where are you guys going?
780
00:37:51,065 --> 00:37:53,901
Join the party.
781
00:37:54,527 --> 00:37:56,362
Here. One and two.
782
00:37:58,072 --> 00:37:59,991
Are you guys freshmen?
783
00:38:00,074 --> 00:38:01,784
No. We're seniors.
784
00:38:01,868 --> 00:38:04,454
We just became seniors, like, 20 minutes ago.
785
00:38:04,537 --> 00:38:06,664
Not high school seniors, college seniors.
786
00:38:06,747 --> 00:38:08,332
Wait a minute!
787
00:38:08,416 --> 00:38:10,126
I remember you guys.
788
00:38:10,209 --> 00:38:11,961
You're Scully.
789
00:38:12,044 --> 00:38:14,005
You're Boomer.
790
00:38:14,714 --> 00:38:16,257
Come here.
791
00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:17,758
I love you guys so much.
792
00:38:17,842 --> 00:38:20,344
- I love you, too.
- Girl, I love you more.
793
00:38:20,428 --> 00:38:21,971
I'm gonna go.
794
00:38:22,054 --> 00:38:24,056
Body shots!
795
00:38:24,390 --> 00:38:26,100
No go.
796
00:38:26,184 --> 00:38:27,143
Stay.
797
00:38:27,226 --> 00:38:29,645
Okay, okay.
But what about these beers, man?
798
00:38:29,729 --> 00:38:32,982
If we don't drink them, they'll be onto us,
and I'm not sure I'm ready for beer yet.
799
00:38:33,065 --> 00:38:35,985
Wait, let's just dump them
when no one's looking,
800
00:38:36,068 --> 00:38:37,236
then act like we're drunk.
801
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,738
Okay. Good idea.
802
00:38:38,821 --> 00:38:40,490
All right, let's go.
803
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,830
Summertime.
804
00:38:47,914 --> 00:38:50,833
You're sure you want to do this, big man?
No shame in backing down.
805
00:38:50,917 --> 00:38:51,876
- Really?
- Come on!
806
00:38:51,959 --> 00:38:53,002
Come on.
807
00:38:53,085 --> 00:38:54,754
It's a lifelong shame.
808
00:38:54,837 --> 00:38:57,340
You're finally doing Suicide 35. It's a big day.
809
00:38:57,423 --> 00:38:58,508
What are you scared of, man?
810
00:38:58,591 --> 00:39:01,511
You're the "rope from the tree,
triple flip, bird-crush" guy.
811
00:39:01,594 --> 00:39:03,930
I'm not scared of this.
In the past, I did it before.
812
00:39:04,013 --> 00:39:05,097
But I'll do it right now.
813
00:39:05,181 --> 00:39:06,182
Sure. Sure. Go ahead.
814
00:39:06,265 --> 00:39:08,309
Do it. Do it.
815
00:39:09,602 --> 00:39:11,729
But the thing is this, I just...
816
00:39:11,812 --> 00:39:13,356
I ate about 45 minutes ago.
817
00:39:13,439 --> 00:39:14,690
What did you eat?
818
00:39:14,774 --> 00:39:16,025
I had chicken chow mein.
819
00:39:16,108 --> 00:39:17,944
Chicken chow mein? When did...
820
00:39:18,027 --> 00:39:19,445
We were with you the whole time!
821
00:39:19,529 --> 00:39:21,280
Yeah. You didn't see it? They had it at Kmart.
822
00:39:21,364 --> 00:39:22,698
- They have chicken chow...
- Get out of here.
823
00:39:22,782 --> 00:39:24,033
- It's good there. Yeah.
- It's very good.
824
00:39:24,116 --> 00:39:25,409
What do I hear right now?
825
00:39:26,702 --> 00:39:27,870
Look at this.
826
00:39:27,954 --> 00:39:31,791
Beers on ice. Hot ladies everywhere.
827
00:39:31,874 --> 00:39:34,001
This is how we used to do it.
828
00:39:34,085 --> 00:39:36,754
- This is how I still do it, buddy.
- He does still do it that way.
829
00:39:36,837 --> 00:39:38,172
Well, you should stop.
830
00:39:39,298 --> 00:39:41,384
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property.
831
00:39:42,468 --> 00:39:43,970
So you might want to quit
perving on our ladies
832
00:39:44,053 --> 00:39:46,055
and get back to your trailer homes.
833
00:39:46,138 --> 00:39:48,391
Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.
834
00:39:48,474 --> 00:39:50,017
I think it's...
835
00:39:50,101 --> 00:39:51,978
I think we've been around
a little longer than you.
836
00:39:52,061 --> 00:39:53,646
Been swimming here
since we were eight years old,
837
00:39:53,729 --> 00:39:55,481
so you can calm down a little bit.
838
00:39:55,648 --> 00:39:57,275
I'm sure it was the bomb!
839
00:39:57,441 --> 00:40:00,444
Cranking your Al Jolson tunes
on your transistor radio.
840
00:40:00,528 --> 00:40:02,572
But it's the 21st century now.
841
00:40:02,738 --> 00:40:04,574
And Thicky-Thick and the Flabby Bunch
842
00:40:04,657 --> 00:40:06,617
should never take their shirts off again.
843
00:40:06,701 --> 00:40:08,744
- That hurts.
- Okay, I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.
844
00:40:08,828 --> 00:40:10,871
Yeah, well, I don't like being
in the Flabby Bunch, either.
845
00:40:10,955 --> 00:40:13,583
Boom! That just happened.
846
00:40:13,666 --> 00:40:16,460
I haven't been around this many
arrogant white college kids
847
00:40:16,544 --> 00:40:18,045
since Eminem played Duke.
848
00:40:18,129 --> 00:40:19,547
There it goes. And then...
849
00:40:19,630 --> 00:40:20,798
Boom!
850
00:40:20,881 --> 00:40:22,425
That just happened. How was that?
851
00:40:22,508 --> 00:40:25,761
At least we got into college,
skinny Danny Glover.
852
00:40:32,393 --> 00:40:33,894
- Long handjob.
- That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
853
00:40:37,106 --> 00:40:38,649
I think it's over.
854
00:40:38,733 --> 00:40:40,276
- Hey, hey, hey!
- What, what, what?
855
00:40:40,359 --> 00:40:41,569
What?
856
00:40:42,903 --> 00:40:44,322
And a little extra right there.
857
00:40:44,405 --> 00:40:47,450
Hey, fellows, that was a good handshake.
We got a good one, too. It goes like this.
858
00:40:47,533 --> 00:40:49,118
- Okay, here we go.
- How you doing, sir?
859
00:40:49,201 --> 00:40:50,995
Nice to see you. Very good, sir.
860
00:40:51,078 --> 00:40:52,538
- Beautiful day.
- Yeah, at least we're not stuck
861
00:40:52,622 --> 00:40:56,167
in some crap town like this,
hanging up drywall for the rest of our lives.
862
00:40:56,250 --> 00:40:57,835
Bay-oom!
863
00:40:57,918 --> 00:40:59,253
Hanging drywall? First of all,
864
00:40:59,337 --> 00:41:00,713
I'll have you know that I own pretty much
865
00:41:00,796 --> 00:41:02,798
the greatest auto body shop
in town, all right?
866
00:41:02,882 --> 00:41:04,717
This guy works for the cable company.
867
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,010
Free cable for life.
868
00:41:06,093 --> 00:41:07,219
What?
869
00:41:07,303 --> 00:41:08,679
Over here, you know Higgins?
870
00:41:08,763 --> 00:41:11,182
That's right, he works part-time
down at the go-kart track.
871
00:41:11,265 --> 00:41:13,601
So he was highballing you with the drywall.
872
00:41:15,269 --> 00:41:16,854
Boom!
873
00:41:18,439 --> 00:41:20,024
This just got real.
874
00:41:20,107 --> 00:41:22,401
- Real stupid? What happened?
- Something's real.
875
00:41:30,117 --> 00:41:32,328
- Yeah...
- Dougie, Dougie...
876
00:41:32,411 --> 00:41:34,830
Are you guys as wasted as us?
877
00:41:34,914 --> 00:41:37,792
Hells, yeah! All the time!
878
00:41:39,543 --> 00:41:43,297
Yo, we're gonna let you guys
continue your Kian meeting in a minute.
879
00:41:43,381 --> 00:41:45,841
He's just gonna jump off of here,
and then we'll leave.
880
00:41:47,927 --> 00:41:49,345
I can't permit that.
881
00:41:49,428 --> 00:41:51,138
I can't permit it!
882
00:41:51,222 --> 00:41:53,099
Can't permit it.
883
00:41:53,182 --> 00:41:56,102
You guys have ruined
our celebration by being here.
884
00:41:56,185 --> 00:41:58,521
Look at my hands, huh?
885
00:41:58,604 --> 00:41:59,980
They're shaking, I'm so mad.
886
00:42:00,064 --> 00:42:01,649
Yeah, look, my brother's shaking.
887
00:42:05,444 --> 00:42:07,279
- That was a cool move.
- Now, listen to me.
888
00:42:07,363 --> 00:42:09,198
I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.
889
00:42:09,281 --> 00:42:11,659
But I need, like, 11 to 15
minutes to stretch out, okay?
890
00:42:11,742 --> 00:42:12,868
I got to stretch. It's overlooked.
891
00:42:12,952 --> 00:42:14,495
No, I understand.
892
00:42:14,578 --> 00:42:16,205
I can't fight these kids.
I'm skinny Danny Glover.
893
00:42:16,288 --> 00:42:20,126
Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips
behind you for some unknown reason.
894
00:42:21,794 --> 00:42:24,964
We got kids, we can't afford to do this.
895
00:42:25,047 --> 00:42:26,716
Buddy, dude,
you don't have to do that last flip.
896
00:42:26,799 --> 00:42:28,926
Don't, like, get hurt.
897
00:42:29,009 --> 00:42:30,219
We'll come back another time.
898
00:42:30,302 --> 00:42:31,554
You will come back never!
899
00:42:31,637 --> 00:42:33,723
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!
900
00:42:33,806 --> 00:42:36,100
Dude, why are you acting so crazy?
901
00:42:36,183 --> 00:42:39,061
Did Betty White just call you crazy?
902
00:42:39,145 --> 00:42:40,271
- Did he just call you Betty White?
- Betty White?
903
00:42:40,354 --> 00:42:41,355
That's pretty funny.
904
00:42:41,439 --> 00:42:42,815
We've got a situation!
905
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,578
You know what? Hey, guys? Guys?
906
00:42:55,661 --> 00:42:57,204
- Hey, what's up, guys?
- Let's get out of here.
907
00:42:57,288 --> 00:42:58,456
Listen, it's nice to meet everybody.
908
00:42:58,539 --> 00:43:00,750
- We're gonna take off, but let's do this again.
- Take care, guys.
909
00:43:00,833 --> 00:43:02,168
- Enjoy yourself.
- Not that way.
910
00:43:02,251 --> 00:43:04,545
Is there an elevator?
911
00:43:06,088 --> 00:43:07,965
That way.
912
00:43:08,632 --> 00:43:12,511
Come on, are you serious?
You gonna make us jump?
913
00:43:13,012 --> 00:43:15,014
Naked.
914
00:43:15,765 --> 00:43:17,975
Asshole.
915
00:43:25,149 --> 00:43:27,193
You guys are losers.
916
00:43:35,701 --> 00:43:38,204
Don't worry, it gets bigger.
917
00:43:43,209 --> 00:43:45,169
That poor old lady!
918
00:43:47,463 --> 00:43:48,923
I'm paralysed!
919
00:43:49,006 --> 00:43:51,300
I'm in so much pain!
920
00:43:51,383 --> 00:43:53,260
Mama!
921
00:43:56,222 --> 00:43:58,307
No!
922
00:44:04,355 --> 00:44:06,232
I was inside you!
923
00:44:12,655 --> 00:44:16,575
I can't believe nobody's even
scared of a black guy any more!
924
00:44:16,659 --> 00:44:18,744
Damn you, Obama!
925
00:44:18,828 --> 00:44:21,872
What the hell just happened?
926
00:44:21,956 --> 00:44:24,583
I saw my dad's dick.
927
00:44:41,767 --> 00:44:45,729
Well, the good news is
Lamonsoff finally did the jump for real.
928
00:44:45,813 --> 00:44:48,023
And the bad news is he landed on my face.
929
00:44:48,107 --> 00:44:50,150
What are you, made of rocks, dude?
930
00:44:50,234 --> 00:44:52,695
Check this out, feel this. I'm not kidding you.
931
00:44:52,778 --> 00:44:54,029
Right up here.
932
00:44:54,113 --> 00:44:55,072
I think even higher.
933
00:44:55,155 --> 00:44:56,156
- Feel that.
- And?
934
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,408
Put your hand right there.
935
00:44:57,491 --> 00:44:59,201
Feel the other one. Those are my balls.
936
00:44:59,285 --> 00:45:01,120
I'm not kidding you,
they went way up in there.
937
00:45:01,203 --> 00:45:02,371
You're getting me turned on.
938
00:45:02,454 --> 00:45:04,540
Are you kidding me?
939
00:45:04,623 --> 00:45:05,624
What?
940
00:45:05,708 --> 00:45:07,042
They slashed our tyres!
941
00:45:07,126 --> 00:45:08,544
These kids won't stop abusing us!
942
00:45:08,627 --> 00:45:09,753
Damn you!
943
00:45:09,962 --> 00:45:12,965
This wasn't college kids.
944
00:45:13,048 --> 00:45:15,634
It was my son, Satan.
945
00:45:16,010 --> 00:45:18,137
And why is this kid so angry?
946
00:45:18,220 --> 00:45:21,181
His mom hiccupped a lot, but she was happy!
And hot.
947
00:45:21,390 --> 00:45:23,392
If she's so hot,
948
00:45:23,475 --> 00:45:26,145
why don't you make her
your late-night booty call?
949
00:45:26,228 --> 00:45:28,772
Beefcakes! Come on, baby!
950
00:45:31,984 --> 00:45:34,820
You've been sneaking around with Fabio?
951
00:45:34,904 --> 00:45:37,323
It's not funny, dude!
She's gonna kick the crap out of me later!
952
00:45:37,406 --> 00:45:38,532
Wow.
953
00:45:38,616 --> 00:45:40,075
Wow.
954
00:45:40,159 --> 00:45:42,494
- A little five-hour Energy, huh?
- Yeah.
955
00:45:44,330 --> 00:45:45,873
500-hour Energy?
956
00:45:45,956 --> 00:45:47,416
I drink it for the taste, okay?
957
00:45:47,499 --> 00:45:50,544
Oh, my God, you gonna jog
to Florida after this?
958
00:45:54,381 --> 00:45:55,382
No!
959
00:45:55,466 --> 00:45:56,675
A bonus!
960
00:45:56,759 --> 00:45:58,510
Come on, just cram yourself in there.
961
00:45:58,594 --> 00:46:01,597
My body, it's just too big for this thing.
I can't fit.
962
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,933
Higgins, dummy, hop in
this thing for a minute.
963
00:46:04,016 --> 00:46:06,268
- For what?
- Just get in the tyre.
964
00:46:06,352 --> 00:46:08,270
- No way! In there?
- Five yards we'll roll you.
965
00:46:08,354 --> 00:46:10,731
We've done it.
I would do it if I could get in there.
966
00:46:10,814 --> 00:46:12,441
This is peer pressure, you're bullying.
967
00:46:12,524 --> 00:46:15,069
And I promise you
I'll stop you and I love you.
968
00:46:15,152 --> 00:46:17,237
Don't let him do it. He's jacked up on juice.
969
00:46:17,321 --> 00:46:19,365
And a-one, and a-two...
970
00:46:19,448 --> 00:46:21,533
- Mommy's got you.
-...and a-three!
971
00:46:22,785 --> 00:46:24,286
- Okay, five feet. Grab me.
- Y'ello.
972
00:46:24,370 --> 00:46:25,955
- Lenny!
- Hey, Keithie.
973
00:46:26,038 --> 00:46:28,248
Meet me at the football field,
but don't tell your mother.
974
00:46:28,332 --> 00:46:29,959
Why am I still rolling?
975
00:46:30,042 --> 00:46:31,627
Lenny!
976
00:46:31,710 --> 00:46:33,379
Help!
977
00:46:33,462 --> 00:46:35,089
Guys, get me!
978
00:46:35,172 --> 00:46:37,466
- Hang in there!
- I'm going downhill!
979
00:46:37,549 --> 00:46:38,634
Lenny! No! No!
980
00:46:40,344 --> 00:46:42,972
When will it end?
981
00:46:47,518 --> 00:46:50,270
Yeah. Summer is here, man!
982
00:46:56,026 --> 00:46:59,196
Help! Stop! No!
983
00:47:01,156 --> 00:47:02,157
Tyre on the loose!
984
00:47:02,241 --> 00:47:03,742
Fluzoo, shotgun, now!
985
00:47:06,745 --> 00:47:07,830
Someone!
986
00:47:07,913 --> 00:47:09,581
Higgins is in the tyre!
987
00:47:09,665 --> 00:47:11,000
Of course.
988
00:47:11,083 --> 00:47:12,668
- Help!
- Get there!
989
00:47:12,751 --> 00:47:14,253
Help!
990
00:47:14,336 --> 00:47:16,422
- Liar!
- No, no, baby!
991
00:47:17,548 --> 00:47:20,843
No! No! Someone!
992
00:47:31,103 --> 00:47:33,147
Show's over, tyre.
993
00:47:46,285 --> 00:47:47,327
I'm next.
994
00:47:47,411 --> 00:47:49,079
- I got next!
- No, I'm next!
995
00:47:51,915 --> 00:47:53,167
It's my tyre! My turn!
996
00:47:53,250 --> 00:47:55,002
Hey!
997
00:47:55,085 --> 00:47:56,795
What happened?
998
00:47:57,254 --> 00:47:58,505
I got a phone call.
999
00:47:59,965 --> 00:48:02,509
Okay. I forgive you.
1000
00:48:02,593 --> 00:48:04,803
Was it long-distance or something?
1001
00:48:04,887 --> 00:48:06,847
Don't want to kick a guy
while he's down, Higgins,
1002
00:48:06,930 --> 00:48:09,141
but we caught your son
with a can of spray paint
1003
00:48:09,224 --> 00:48:11,185
looking like he was up to no good.
1004
00:48:11,268 --> 00:48:13,896
You lied about the soup.
1005
00:48:13,979 --> 00:48:16,398
You lied about the soup!
1006
00:48:30,913 --> 00:48:35,375
We are gonna find those fartheads,
1007
00:48:35,751 --> 00:48:38,128
and we are gonna kill them.
1008
00:48:38,378 --> 00:48:39,922
Kill!
1009
00:48:40,005 --> 00:48:43,634
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1010
00:48:47,471 --> 00:48:50,557
No, guys! Not each other!
1011
00:48:50,641 --> 00:48:53,435
We're not killing each other!
1012
00:48:53,602 --> 00:48:56,563
K-E-I-T
1013
00:48:56,647 --> 00:48:59,441
H-I-E.
1014
00:48:59,525 --> 00:49:01,693
Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!
1015
00:49:01,777 --> 00:49:05,114
It's a practice, Donna.
You don't have to go full speed.
1016
00:49:05,197 --> 00:49:06,448
Sorry, Mr Feder.
1017
00:49:06,532 --> 00:49:07,658
It's fine!
1018
00:49:07,741 --> 00:49:10,202
Hey, look at these giant mooses out there.
1019
00:49:13,705 --> 00:49:15,791
You don't want to get
in the middle of all that.
1020
00:49:15,874 --> 00:49:19,461
Plus, the kicker, honestly, is like,
one of the most important guys on the team
1021
00:49:19,545 --> 00:49:22,464
and you don't have to worry about getting
your head bashed in every play.
1022
00:49:22,548 --> 00:49:24,466
I get it, Dad. I'm a wimp.
1023
00:49:24,550 --> 00:49:25,634
You're not a wimp.
1024
00:49:25,717 --> 00:49:26,927
It's just common sense.
1025
00:49:27,010 --> 00:49:28,846
Avoid big idiots trying to hurt you.
1026
00:49:29,429 --> 00:49:32,307
I was trying to avoid a big idiot
trying to hurt me on the bus this morning,
1027
00:49:32,391 --> 00:49:33,725
but he wouldn't leave me alone.
1028
00:49:33,809 --> 00:49:35,727
Well, sometimes they
won't let you avoid them,
1029
00:49:35,811 --> 00:49:38,313
and you just...
You can't back down in those situations.
1030
00:49:38,397 --> 00:49:40,357
I'm telling you, I've backed down a few times,
1031
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:41,567
it's not a good feeling.
1032
00:49:41,650 --> 00:49:43,527
All right, look, let's just
kick a few field goals.
1033
00:49:43,610 --> 00:49:45,279
It's like soccer, which you're great at.
1034
00:49:45,362 --> 00:49:48,198
All you got to do is put your
foot right through the ball.
1035
00:49:51,410 --> 00:49:52,369
What?
1036
00:49:52,452 --> 00:49:53,662
Touchdown! Yeah!
1037
00:49:53,745 --> 00:49:55,372
Yeah!
1038
00:49:55,455 --> 00:49:57,541
That's ridiculous! Your first try?
1039
00:49:57,624 --> 00:49:59,585
All right, we're backing up, boy.
1040
00:49:59,668 --> 00:50:02,254
That was totally awesome, Keithie!
That was so cool!
1041
00:50:02,337 --> 00:50:04,590
That was just, like, awesome!
1042
00:50:04,756 --> 00:50:06,550
Okay, drive through the ball.
1043
00:50:06,633 --> 00:50:08,218
Drive through the ball.
1044
00:50:10,304 --> 00:50:11,305
It's up!
1045
00:50:11,763 --> 00:50:14,349
Yeah! Go, Keithie!
1046
00:50:14,433 --> 00:50:17,394
Yes! What did you eat this morning?
1047
00:50:17,477 --> 00:50:21,106
All right, this is starting to
get into, like, college level.
1048
00:50:21,190 --> 00:50:22,649
From the 30!
1049
00:50:22,733 --> 00:50:24,401
Who the hell is this kid?
1050
00:50:30,449 --> 00:50:31,867
Oh, my God!
1051
00:50:31,950 --> 00:50:33,535
Stop! Keithie time!
1052
00:50:35,787 --> 00:50:39,041
I'm starting to think
she has a little crush on you.
1053
00:50:39,124 --> 00:50:40,209
Really?
1054
00:50:40,292 --> 00:50:42,836
Either that or she got bit
by a poisonous spider.
1055
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,005
Keithie!
1056
00:50:46,215 --> 00:50:49,176
All right, let's see how you do
in a real game situation, though.
1057
00:50:49,259 --> 00:50:51,678
Okay? Let's pretend I'm a linebacker,
1058
00:50:51,762 --> 00:50:53,388
and I'm gonna come at you
and try and block it.
1059
00:50:53,472 --> 00:50:54,473
Okay.
1060
00:50:54,556 --> 00:50:55,891
Set!
1061
00:50:57,100 --> 00:50:59,019
Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker!
1062
00:50:59,102 --> 00:51:00,103
Give me that football!
1063
00:51:02,648 --> 00:51:04,316
My leg!
1064
00:51:04,399 --> 00:51:05,651
Keithie!
1065
00:51:05,734 --> 00:51:07,736
Don't tell your mother!
1066
00:51:07,819 --> 00:51:11,156
All right, that kid's dead. Back to work.
1067
00:51:11,990 --> 00:51:14,451
Now, you remember how to do
a five-point turn, right?
1068
00:51:14,534 --> 00:51:15,619
Yeah.
1069
00:51:15,702 --> 00:51:17,579
- Parallel park?
- Yeah, yeah.
1070
00:51:17,663 --> 00:51:19,665
Hey, don't "yeah, yeah" me, dumb-ass.
1071
00:51:19,748 --> 00:51:21,250
You're precious cargo.
1072
00:51:21,333 --> 00:51:23,168
Now, if you mess around
and get yourself killed,
1073
00:51:23,293 --> 00:51:24,253
I'm gonna have to kill you.
1074
00:51:24,336 --> 00:51:26,004
Look, Dad, I'm ready for this, all right?
1075
00:51:27,965 --> 00:51:29,424
You're late.
1076
00:51:30,676 --> 00:51:31,927
Hello, McKenzie.
1077
00:51:32,010 --> 00:51:33,679
Hey, Wiley, how you feeling?
1078
00:51:36,181 --> 00:51:37,933
Just two years of this.
1079
00:51:38,016 --> 00:51:41,103
And I still only have 40% feeling in my body.
1080
00:51:41,186 --> 00:51:43,105
Otherwise, I'm fine.
1081
00:51:43,188 --> 00:51:44,940
No, Rihanna's fine.
1082
00:51:45,023 --> 00:51:46,525
You just teach driver's ed.
1083
00:51:47,693 --> 00:51:49,111
Get her done, son!
1084
00:51:49,194 --> 00:51:51,405
And remember everything we talked about!
1085
00:51:51,488 --> 00:51:52,739
Defensive driving!
1086
00:51:52,823 --> 00:51:53,949
Stop at all yellows!
1087
00:51:54,032 --> 00:51:55,117
Obey the laws!
1088
00:51:56,201 --> 00:51:58,662
- You moron!
- Look out!
1089
00:51:58,745 --> 00:52:01,665
Be safe! Don't do what I just did!
1090
00:52:02,416 --> 00:52:04,626
Hey, officers, you guys want to stick around
1091
00:52:04,710 --> 00:52:06,420
and have a drink with me,
hang out a little bit?
1092
00:52:06,503 --> 00:52:08,755
You're afraid of us leaving you
alone with your son, aren't you?
1093
00:52:08,839 --> 00:52:10,882
My son... Are you kidding me? I don't care...
1094
00:52:10,966 --> 00:52:13,093
- Boo!
- He's got a knife!
1095
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,847
That sounds dangerous.
How far was the drop?
1096
00:52:16,930 --> 00:52:18,807
Just 35 feet.
1097
00:52:18,890 --> 00:52:21,351
Who do you think you are, Tarzan?
1098
00:52:21,435 --> 00:52:23,312
- It's no big deal.
- Honey?
1099
00:52:23,395 --> 00:52:25,147
Hi, Sally.
1100
00:52:25,230 --> 00:52:27,024
Hi, honey. I... No, I just came to see
1101
00:52:27,107 --> 00:52:28,191
if Mommy was alive.
1102
00:52:28,275 --> 00:52:29,818
And looking now,
1103
00:52:29,901 --> 00:52:31,153
she's breathing, she's good.
1104
00:52:31,236 --> 00:52:32,863
Hi. What are you doing here?
1105
00:52:32,946 --> 00:52:34,990
I was bringing your mother
a new fan for the summer.
1106
00:52:35,073 --> 00:52:36,325
- That's good.
- You said you couldn't
1107
00:52:36,408 --> 00:52:37,868
get coffee with me because you had
1108
00:52:37,951 --> 00:52:40,829
a 3:30 appointment with a Mr Renaldo.
1109
00:52:40,912 --> 00:52:42,164
Hello, ladies!
1110
00:52:42,247 --> 00:52:43,832
You!
1111
00:52:43,915 --> 00:52:44,916
Can't be!
1112
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,252
We killed you. Last week.
1113
00:52:47,336 --> 00:52:50,756
You actually think two amateurish nitwits
1114
00:52:50,839 --> 00:52:54,092
could kill The Great Renaldo?
1115
00:52:54,426 --> 00:52:55,761
I told you.
1116
00:52:55,844 --> 00:52:58,930
You did. You called it.
1117
00:53:03,310 --> 00:53:06,021
So the leg's not really broken, huh?
1118
00:53:06,313 --> 00:53:08,565
No, it is broken, right here.
1119
00:53:08,648 --> 00:53:11,318
Just a hairline fracture, though.
1120
00:53:11,401 --> 00:53:13,153
No, it's a clean break.
1121
00:53:13,236 --> 00:53:14,696
Slight, though.
1122
00:53:14,780 --> 00:53:17,324
Slight? No. It's broken.
1123
00:53:17,407 --> 00:53:20,077
Broken-broken or just broken?
1124
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,704
It's a broken leg.
1125
00:53:22,788 --> 00:53:26,416
What was once one bone
is now two half-bones.
1126
00:53:26,500 --> 00:53:27,584
Right.
1127
00:53:27,667 --> 00:53:32,297
Is there anything you can do
about my wife staring at me?
1128
00:53:34,299 --> 00:53:36,718
No, I'm not a psychiatrist.
1129
00:53:36,802 --> 00:53:38,345
So you're saying my wife is crazy?
1130
00:53:38,428 --> 00:53:40,013
No, no. I was joking.
1131
00:53:40,097 --> 00:53:41,890
Like you were when you said
his leg is broken.
1132
00:53:41,973 --> 00:53:43,600
Look, your son
1133
00:53:43,683 --> 00:53:46,937
is going to be wearing
that cast the entire summer.
1134
00:53:47,020 --> 00:53:50,899
If you don't mind, I haven't slept in 68 hours.
1135
00:53:50,982 --> 00:53:53,235
So you're a little loopy from lack of sleep,
1136
00:53:53,318 --> 00:53:54,903
and that really isn't my son's bone.
1137
00:53:54,986 --> 00:53:56,905
That's a piece of celery you snapped.
1138
00:53:56,988 --> 00:53:57,948
- Lenny!
- Yes?
1139
00:53:58,031 --> 00:53:59,574
The leg is broken!
1140
00:54:03,203 --> 00:54:04,913
You can't undo this,
1141
00:54:04,996 --> 00:54:08,250
and you lied to me,
so you're gonna pay for it.
1142
00:54:08,333 --> 00:54:12,921
Doctor, wouldn't it be nice
if there was a cure for anger?
1143
00:54:13,004 --> 00:54:14,089
There is.
1144
00:54:14,172 --> 00:54:15,841
It's called Jack Daniel's.
1145
00:54:16,883 --> 00:54:18,427
Another one of your jokes, huh?
1146
00:54:18,510 --> 00:54:20,011
I wish.
1147
00:54:22,639 --> 00:54:24,433
Okay, the light is red now,
so just remain stopped.
1148
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,063
Scully, is that you?
1149
00:54:31,898 --> 00:54:33,150
Scully!
1150
00:54:34,860 --> 00:54:36,611
Hey, what's up, fellas?
1151
00:54:36,695 --> 00:54:39,114
Are you taking your driver's test drunk?
1152
00:54:39,197 --> 00:54:41,283
Yeah, I'm MC Hammered!
1153
00:54:41,366 --> 00:54:42,993
- You're a madman!
- Psychopath, man!
1154
00:54:43,076 --> 00:54:44,077
Hey, Scully, Scully.
1155
00:54:44,161 --> 00:54:46,413
Have you seen those old townies
from the quarry today?
1156
00:54:46,496 --> 00:54:49,499
No, I can't say I did. Why?
1157
00:54:49,583 --> 00:54:51,626
They disrespected our frat house!
1158
00:54:51,710 --> 00:54:53,253
Man, they disrespected the crap out of it!
1159
00:54:53,336 --> 00:54:54,880
No, can't have that.
1160
00:54:57,174 --> 00:54:58,425
Brewski time, dude!
1161
00:54:58,508 --> 00:54:59,968
It's not for you, Scully.
1162
00:55:00,051 --> 00:55:01,803
It's for that freak in the hat next to you.
1163
00:55:01,887 --> 00:55:03,013
Looks like he needs it.
1164
00:55:03,096 --> 00:55:04,097
- Boom!
- Yeah!
1165
00:55:04,181 --> 00:55:05,474
That just happened!
1166
00:55:05,557 --> 00:55:07,684
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1167
00:55:09,811 --> 00:55:13,482
Taking your driver's test while intoxicated?
1168
00:55:15,066 --> 00:55:17,444
Minus five points.
1169
00:55:26,036 --> 00:55:27,662
This is ridiculous!
1170
00:55:27,746 --> 00:55:31,374
I've wasted an entire day
waiting for this idiot to show up.
1171
00:55:31,458 --> 00:55:34,127
Did you tell him your son-in-law
works for the cable company?
1172
00:55:34,211 --> 00:55:38,006
A fat lot of good being related
to that bozo would do me.
1173
00:55:38,089 --> 00:55:41,051
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
1174
00:55:41,134 --> 00:55:42,677
Love to the children.
1175
00:55:49,100 --> 00:55:50,519
Yes. Yes.
1176
00:55:57,108 --> 00:55:59,361
Damn it, I just sat down.
1177
00:55:59,444 --> 00:56:01,530
I'll be right out there!
1178
00:56:01,613 --> 00:56:02,697
Hang on!
1179
00:56:02,781 --> 00:56:04,366
I'm coming as quick as I can.
1180
00:56:04,449 --> 00:56:06,284
I got bunions, damn it!
1181
00:56:14,042 --> 00:56:15,961
No! No!
1182
00:56:16,044 --> 00:56:18,129
You burn in hell!
1183
00:56:18,255 --> 00:56:20,048
You cable-installing mother...
1184
00:56:20,131 --> 00:56:21,466
Damn it!
1185
00:56:30,559 --> 00:56:31,560
Look, man,
1186
00:56:31,643 --> 00:56:33,895
I know deadbeat dads
always have lame excuses
1187
00:56:33,979 --> 00:56:36,147
why they don't see their kids,
1188
00:56:36,231 --> 00:56:39,693
but "I didn't know you existed
till about a week ago"
1189
00:56:39,776 --> 00:56:41,820
is actually a fantastic excuse.
1190
00:56:41,903 --> 00:56:43,405
So can you cut me some slack?
1191
00:56:43,488 --> 00:56:45,240
Her name's not Hiccups McGee.
1192
00:56:45,323 --> 00:56:47,033
Yeah, I know that.
1193
00:56:47,117 --> 00:56:48,743
So why do you call her that?
1194
00:56:48,827 --> 00:56:51,371
No, that's just... It's stupid.
1195
00:56:51,454 --> 00:56:55,250
It's just kind of a nickname I give people that,
1196
00:56:55,333 --> 00:56:58,753
you know, have a distinct
trait or physical feature.
1197
00:56:58,837 --> 00:57:02,340
Like, if someone had big lips,
you'd call them Lippy McGee.
1198
00:57:02,424 --> 00:57:04,926
And if they sneezed a lot,
you'd call them Sneezy McGee.
1199
00:57:05,010 --> 00:57:07,929
So you'd be Ugly McGee.
1200
00:57:08,013 --> 00:57:10,181
I'd be Ugly McGee. Exactly.
1201
00:57:10,265 --> 00:57:11,558
Shorty McGee.
1202
00:57:11,641 --> 00:57:12,601
Shorty McGee, sure.
1203
00:57:12,684 --> 00:57:13,935
Viagra McGee.
1204
00:57:14,019 --> 00:57:15,312
Right, right. You get it, you get it.
1205
00:57:15,562 --> 00:57:17,439
Listen, man,
1206
00:57:17,522 --> 00:57:20,066
I'm willing to give this a try if you are.
1207
00:57:21,735 --> 00:57:24,446
You know what they say...
Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery.
1208
00:57:26,281 --> 00:57:31,244
Maybe we go inside and search the Internet
for funny videos of squirrels waterskiing.
1209
00:57:40,712 --> 00:57:42,922
Okay, we're getting somewhere.
1210
00:57:43,423 --> 00:57:45,300
I'm sorry I lied about the appointment.
1211
00:57:45,383 --> 00:57:47,385
The lying's not the worst part.
1212
00:57:47,469 --> 00:57:49,554
You hid from me at your
mother's house, Eric.
1213
00:57:49,638 --> 00:57:50,972
Who does that?
1214
00:57:51,056 --> 00:57:52,557
Look, she's nice to me.
1215
00:57:52,891 --> 00:57:55,060
You know, she always takes my side,
1216
00:57:55,143 --> 00:57:58,063
worries if I'm eating enough
and taking my vitamins.
1217
00:57:58,146 --> 00:58:00,190
I do all that stuff, too, Eric.
1218
00:58:00,607 --> 00:58:02,442
Okay, I don't.
1219
00:58:02,525 --> 00:58:03,818
You're right.
1220
00:58:03,902 --> 00:58:05,487
You know, there's only
so many hours in a day,
1221
00:58:05,570 --> 00:58:08,156
and I'm always running around the kids,
1222
00:58:08,239 --> 00:58:10,283
and I guess I leave you out a lot,
1223
00:58:10,408 --> 00:58:12,661
and I'm really gonna try harder
to make you feel special,
1224
00:58:12,744 --> 00:58:15,497
'cause you always make me feel
like the only girl in the world.
1225
00:58:15,580 --> 00:58:17,874
I feel bad.
1226
00:58:17,957 --> 00:58:19,209
Don't feel bad.
1227
00:58:19,292 --> 00:58:21,711
No, I do, because today at the recital,
1228
00:58:21,795 --> 00:58:26,132
I couldn't stop looking at Becky's teacher.
1229
00:58:26,257 --> 00:58:27,967
I don't mind you looking.
1230
00:58:28,134 --> 00:58:30,136
I really don't. Everybody looks.
1231
00:58:30,428 --> 00:58:32,555
I was looking today.
1232
00:58:32,639 --> 00:58:34,516
And I'm totally fine with that.
1233
00:58:34,599 --> 00:58:37,060
As long as he was gay, dead or a cartoon.
1234
00:58:37,143 --> 00:58:38,603
- Gay.
- Okay.
1235
00:58:38,853 --> 00:58:43,400
But no matter who or what we look at,
we'll always come back to each other, right?
1236
00:58:45,443 --> 00:58:46,861
- Car wash!
- Car wash!
1237
00:58:46,945 --> 00:58:48,405
- Support our team!
- I'll prove it to you!
1238
00:58:48,488 --> 00:58:50,532
Car wash!
1239
00:58:50,615 --> 00:58:53,159
- What are you doing?
- No, no, you're gonna like this.
1240
00:58:53,743 --> 00:58:54,744
Hi, girls!
1241
00:58:56,746 --> 00:58:58,498
Come on.
1242
00:59:00,125 --> 00:59:02,210
Honey, you don't have to do this.
1243
00:59:02,293 --> 00:59:03,253
I want to.
1244
00:59:03,336 --> 00:59:05,213
Hi, girls!
1245
00:59:05,296 --> 00:59:07,215
Wash it up extra soapy!
1246
00:59:07,298 --> 00:59:09,217
You got it.
1247
00:59:09,300 --> 00:59:11,553
Wait, hang on.
There's a car just in front of you.
1248
00:59:11,636 --> 00:59:12,637
Better do them first.
1249
00:59:12,721 --> 00:59:13,763
Yo, got a customer!
1250
00:59:13,847 --> 00:59:16,391
You take these guys,
we'll take the yellow car.
1251
00:59:16,474 --> 00:59:18,518
Extra soapy.
1252
00:59:22,814 --> 00:59:24,607
What is happening right now?
1253
00:59:27,652 --> 00:59:30,155
I swear, I didn't plan this.
1254
00:59:35,994 --> 00:59:38,705
No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good.
I'm good, thank you.
1255
00:59:38,788 --> 00:59:40,999
Well, I might as well enjoy this.
1256
01:00:22,081 --> 01:00:24,292
Why is this never-ending?
1257
01:00:24,375 --> 01:00:27,337
At least the guys in the car
in front of us are having fun.
1258
01:00:39,766 --> 01:00:42,227
What are you doing? Get in there!
1259
01:00:42,310 --> 01:00:43,645
Let me do it.
1260
01:00:50,568 --> 01:00:52,362
Okay, everybody.
1261
01:00:52,445 --> 01:00:55,240
It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.
There were some downs.
1262
01:00:55,323 --> 01:00:57,033
Sorry about the leg.
1263
01:00:57,116 --> 01:00:58,576
The good news is
1264
01:00:58,660 --> 01:01:00,703
the children got through
another year of school.
1265
01:01:00,787 --> 01:01:01,830
Fabulously.
1266
01:01:01,913 --> 01:01:04,833
You got older, even though I told you not to.
Especially you.
1267
01:01:04,916 --> 01:01:06,668
Stay young. Don't leave me.
1268
01:01:06,751 --> 01:01:10,171
You prepared us your famous
chicken à la food poisoning,
1269
01:01:10,255 --> 01:01:11,506
which we're all excited to eat.
1270
01:01:11,589 --> 01:01:14,050
I'm just kidding.
1271
01:01:14,133 --> 01:01:16,344
But the greatest thing is,
it's my favourite part of the day
1272
01:01:16,427 --> 01:01:17,554
with my four best friends.
1273
01:01:17,637 --> 01:01:18,930
To the Feders!
1274
01:01:20,890 --> 01:01:23,601
So Bumpty asked me out for ice cream today.
1275
01:01:23,685 --> 01:01:27,856
I "went out for ice cream" once
with your dad.
1276
01:01:27,939 --> 01:01:31,109
Nine months later, Andre popped out.
1277
01:01:32,777 --> 01:01:36,406
This is the best vanilla pudding I've ever had.
1278
01:01:36,489 --> 01:01:38,783
That's butter, son.
1279
01:01:41,202 --> 01:01:42,370
Here you go.
1280
01:01:42,453 --> 01:01:45,039
- Hey.
- Want me to come in and feed it to you
1281
01:01:45,123 --> 01:01:47,208
like I did the last time?
1282
01:01:47,292 --> 01:01:49,544
No, no. I got my kid here.
1283
01:01:49,627 --> 01:01:50,712
That wouldn't be cool.
1284
01:01:50,795 --> 01:01:53,298
You said you loved me!
1285
01:01:54,507 --> 01:01:56,301
They're not all tens, buddy.
1286
01:02:00,471 --> 01:02:02,265
Homeboy, why aren't you eating?
1287
01:02:02,348 --> 01:02:05,059
I saw something today
that made me lose my appetite.
1288
01:02:05,143 --> 01:02:07,854
What was it, me naked?
1289
01:02:09,647 --> 01:02:11,232
What?
1290
01:02:11,316 --> 01:02:12,901
What's a burpsmart?
1291
01:02:12,984 --> 01:02:14,068
Burpsnorp?
1292
01:02:14,152 --> 01:02:15,653
A burpsnart!
1293
01:02:15,737 --> 01:02:18,907
Basically, he burps, sneezes
and farts at the same time.
1294
01:02:18,990 --> 01:02:20,033
He goes...
1295
01:02:26,164 --> 01:02:28,416
I think I just shat myself.
1296
01:02:28,499 --> 01:02:31,252
Hey, honey, what time's
that Feder bash tonight?
1297
01:02:31,336 --> 01:02:32,962
What?
1298
01:02:33,046 --> 01:02:34,172
It's paint.
1299
01:02:34,255 --> 01:02:35,632
It doesn't come off.
1300
01:02:35,715 --> 01:02:38,092
I thought it might be fun
to have a theme, no?
1301
01:02:38,176 --> 01:02:40,762
- A theme?
- Roxanne decided the theme is...
1302
01:02:40,845 --> 01:02:41,930
The '80s?
1303
01:02:42,013 --> 01:02:43,181
The '80s?
1304
01:02:43,264 --> 01:02:44,682
The '80s?
1305
01:02:44,766 --> 01:02:46,809
That was 70 years ago.
1306
01:02:49,228 --> 01:02:50,939
I thought we could go as Hall & Oates.
1307
01:02:51,022 --> 01:02:51,981
Hall & Oates?
1308
01:02:52,065 --> 01:02:53,107
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1309
01:02:53,191 --> 01:02:54,984
What is that, like a cereal?
1310
01:02:55,068 --> 01:02:56,527
No.
1311
01:02:56,611 --> 01:02:59,614
Why don't you ask Nancy Arbuckle
to come by for the get-together?
1312
01:02:59,697 --> 01:03:02,575
Or do you prefer
the imaginary shower version?
1313
01:03:05,411 --> 01:03:07,747
You know what, Charlotte? I trust you,
1314
01:03:07,830 --> 01:03:09,540
and I want you to have fun tonight.
1315
01:03:09,624 --> 01:03:10,959
Really.
1316
01:03:14,128 --> 01:03:16,881
What's up, player?
I'm here for your daughter.
1317
01:03:19,759 --> 01:03:23,221
What...
1318
01:03:23,304 --> 01:03:28,559
Used to get 10 cases of beer for my parties,
now I get 10 cases of juice boxes.
1319
01:03:28,893 --> 01:03:30,395
Hey, Beckster.
1320
01:03:30,478 --> 01:03:32,146
- Hey, Stud Muffin.
- Hey.
1321
01:03:32,230 --> 01:03:35,566
Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,
so I call him Stud Muffin.
1322
01:03:35,650 --> 01:03:36,693
Is that right?
1323
01:03:36,776 --> 01:03:39,320
You must be Roxanne's husband. I'm Kyle.
1324
01:03:39,404 --> 01:03:41,656
How do you know my wife
again there, Mud Stuffing?
1325
01:03:41,739 --> 01:03:43,574
I worked her out this morning.
1326
01:03:43,658 --> 01:03:44,659
Really?
1327
01:03:44,742 --> 01:03:47,328
I worked her out this morning,
too, pretty good.
1328
01:03:47,745 --> 01:03:48,830
All right.
1329
01:03:48,913 --> 01:03:50,832
Hi.
1330
01:03:50,915 --> 01:03:52,041
What's up?
1331
01:03:52,125 --> 01:03:53,668
This is awkward.
1332
01:03:53,751 --> 01:03:55,837
My husband's here.
1333
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:57,547
Why is that awkward?
1334
01:03:57,630 --> 01:03:59,340
Why?
1335
01:03:59,424 --> 01:04:01,134
Well, let me give you a hint.
1336
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:04,804
You have brain damage?
1337
01:04:07,015 --> 01:04:09,350
I think we both know
what time it is, don't we?
1338
01:04:09,434 --> 01:04:10,768
What time is it?
1339
01:04:10,852 --> 01:04:12,854
Nothing.
1340
01:04:12,937 --> 01:04:16,774
It's just... Just time to...
1341
01:04:16,858 --> 01:04:18,526
Help me out here.
1342
01:04:18,776 --> 01:04:21,571
I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.
1343
01:04:21,654 --> 01:04:23,531
Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do?
1344
01:04:23,614 --> 01:04:24,615
Did he pass his test?
1345
01:04:24,699 --> 01:04:26,117
He squeaked by.
1346
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,327
We didn't check out any soapy cheerleaders.
1347
01:04:28,411 --> 01:04:30,079
What's going on with you and my wife?
1348
01:04:30,163 --> 01:04:31,164
I'm gonna go.
1349
01:04:31,247 --> 01:04:32,582
Actually, why don't we all
go our separate ways.
1350
01:04:32,665 --> 01:04:34,917
I don't see any of these conversations
working out for me.
1351
01:04:35,001 --> 01:04:36,377
- Adios.
- I'll see you tonight.
1352
01:04:36,461 --> 01:04:37,420
Hey.
1353
01:04:37,503 --> 01:04:38,629
I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.
1354
01:04:39,547 --> 01:04:40,631
What?
1355
01:04:40,715 --> 01:04:42,759
Yeah, party tonight '80s-style, huh?
1356
01:04:42,842 --> 01:04:44,635
Rocky III.
1357
01:04:44,719 --> 01:04:46,971
- Wiley!
- Okay.
1358
01:04:48,014 --> 01:04:49,766
Hey, babe.
1359
01:04:50,683 --> 01:04:51,976
What does Penny's note say?
1360
01:04:56,314 --> 01:04:58,066
She wrote, "Mayonnaise, zitis..."
1361
01:04:58,149 --> 01:04:59,400
The other side.
1362
01:05:02,153 --> 01:05:04,572
"Meet me by your mailbox at 11:00."
1363
01:05:04,655 --> 01:05:06,991
Why would I meet her
by my mailbox at 11:00?
1364
01:05:11,996 --> 01:05:14,332
You have any idea what just happened there?
1365
01:05:14,415 --> 01:05:15,666
Not a clue.
1366
01:05:15,750 --> 01:05:18,169
I don't care who your parents are.
1367
01:05:18,252 --> 01:05:19,837
You screw up, I fire you.
1368
01:05:19,921 --> 01:05:22,048
It's all good.
1369
01:05:22,131 --> 01:05:23,174
"It's all good"?
1370
01:05:23,257 --> 01:05:25,468
It's a family restaurant, not a rap show.
1371
01:05:25,551 --> 01:05:27,136
It's all bad?
1372
01:05:27,220 --> 01:05:29,097
That's right, it is.
1373
01:05:29,180 --> 01:05:30,515
You got a customer.
1374
01:05:31,849 --> 01:05:33,601
I'm sorry. Welcome to the Ice Cream House.
1375
01:05:33,684 --> 01:05:35,311
Hi, Greg.
1376
01:05:35,394 --> 01:05:37,188
Nancy, hi.
1377
01:05:37,271 --> 01:05:40,024
I think you crushed your cones.
1378
01:05:40,108 --> 01:05:41,275
No.
1379
01:05:41,359 --> 01:05:42,777
That was a... That was a squeeze test.
1380
01:05:42,860 --> 01:05:44,445
These cones failed.
1381
01:05:44,529 --> 01:05:46,197
We're gonna try cardboard cones next.
1382
01:05:47,156 --> 01:05:48,241
You're smiling.
1383
01:05:48,908 --> 01:05:50,284
And number two.
1384
01:05:50,368 --> 01:05:52,370
You have such a nice smile.
1385
01:05:52,453 --> 01:05:54,122
Thanks.
1386
01:05:54,205 --> 01:05:57,125
Go out with me tonight before
your friends say I'm fugly.
1387
01:05:57,208 --> 01:05:59,293
Tonight?
1388
01:05:59,377 --> 01:06:00,461
Sure.
1389
01:06:00,545 --> 01:06:02,630
No freaking way.
1390
01:06:04,215 --> 01:06:06,884
Your father used to do
that same three-step crap
1391
01:06:06,968 --> 01:06:08,302
when we were growing up.
1392
01:06:08,386 --> 01:06:10,638
It always worked then.
1393
01:06:10,721 --> 01:06:12,515
Even on my wife.
1394
01:06:15,476 --> 01:06:18,479
I ain't no boy with a mind you can toy,
1395
01:06:18,563 --> 01:06:21,482
'cause if this is a ploy, I'll destroy Illinois.
1396
01:06:21,566 --> 01:06:24,318
It is so amazing how you can
freestyle like that.
1397
01:06:24,402 --> 01:06:27,363
I been laying it down truthful since day one.
1398
01:06:30,449 --> 01:06:33,411
Well, I sing sometimes, too,
1399
01:06:33,494 --> 01:06:35,621
but only, like, in the shower.
1400
01:06:35,705 --> 01:06:37,665
I'm scared to sing in front of other people.
1401
01:06:37,748 --> 01:06:40,751
If you scared, that means you don't got it.
1402
01:06:40,835 --> 01:06:44,338
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.
I'm hard-core.
1403
01:06:47,884 --> 01:06:49,468
Dinosaur!
1404
01:06:51,262 --> 01:06:53,514
How long ago was the '80s?
1405
01:06:53,598 --> 01:06:56,350
That was way back in the 1900s.
1406
01:06:56,434 --> 01:06:57,643
We learned about it in school.
1407
01:06:57,727 --> 01:06:58,769
It was wack.
1408
01:06:58,853 --> 01:07:01,856
The phones had long, curly
things coming out of the end.
1409
01:07:01,939 --> 01:07:03,566
You had to watch commercials.
1410
01:07:03,649 --> 01:07:04,734
No way.
1411
01:07:04,817 --> 01:07:06,110
Isn't that right, Bowser?
1412
01:07:08,154 --> 01:07:09,947
How we doing?
1413
01:07:10,031 --> 01:07:12,366
Hey, Dad, why do we have to
wear costumes and you don't?
1414
01:07:12,450 --> 01:07:13,784
I am wearing a costume.
1415
01:07:13,868 --> 01:07:16,621
Bruce Springsteen, Born in the U.S.A.
1416
01:07:17,622 --> 01:07:19,332
Who's Bruce Springsteen?
1417
01:07:19,415 --> 01:07:21,375
I guess some guy with a giant butt.
1418
01:07:22,668 --> 01:07:24,545
You don't know who the Boss is?
1419
01:07:24,629 --> 01:07:26,172
I stink as a father.
1420
01:07:26,255 --> 01:07:28,257
You do not stink as a father.
1421
01:07:28,341 --> 01:07:30,176
You're the best father I know.
1422
01:07:30,259 --> 01:07:32,595
That's why I don't understand
why you don't...
1423
01:07:32,678 --> 01:07:33,721
Why I don't want a baby?
1424
01:07:33,804 --> 01:07:36,265
Because I don't want one!
Let's move on from that!
1425
01:07:43,439 --> 01:07:45,942
No. No, no.
1426
01:07:46,025 --> 01:07:47,818
Tell her it wasn't you talking, Dad.
1427
01:07:47,902 --> 01:07:49,487
It was your flabby ass.
1428
01:07:49,570 --> 01:07:53,032
You want me to "accidentally"
break the other leg?
1429
01:07:58,788 --> 01:08:02,250
Hey, I'm sorry I raised my voice.
1430
01:08:02,333 --> 01:08:03,918
In front of the children!
1431
01:08:04,001 --> 01:08:05,544
Right, in front of the kids.
1432
01:08:05,628 --> 01:08:06,879
It's just, you...
1433
01:08:06,963 --> 01:08:09,590
All you're doing is bringing up this
baby thing over and over.
1434
01:08:09,674 --> 01:08:11,133
Are you going through, like,
1435
01:08:11,217 --> 01:08:15,263
a "womany" hormone
situation or something?
1436
01:08:15,346 --> 01:08:17,098
Menopause?
1437
01:08:17,181 --> 01:08:19,141
What, you're not old enough for that?
I'm sorry.
1438
01:08:19,225 --> 01:08:20,935
Okay, no, I meant schizophrenia.
1439
01:08:21,018 --> 01:08:23,271
No, honey, honey, honey,
1440
01:08:23,354 --> 01:08:26,315
if we have another baby,
we're starting over, you know?
1441
01:08:26,399 --> 01:08:27,900
How about we just adopt a kid?
1442
01:08:27,984 --> 01:08:29,235
Like a 20-year-old who has a job.
1443
01:08:29,318 --> 01:08:30,820
That way we could make money off of him.
1444
01:08:32,488 --> 01:08:35,783
I just... Don't you think
we can start concentrating on me and you?
1445
01:08:35,866 --> 01:08:38,411
That's all I'm saying. It's our time.
1446
01:08:38,494 --> 01:08:43,082
Well, I am going through
kind of a hormone thing.
1447
01:08:43,165 --> 01:08:45,459
Good, there's pills for that.
1448
01:08:47,086 --> 01:08:48,963
I'm pregnant.
1449
01:08:52,425 --> 01:08:54,385
Our guests are here.
1450
01:08:56,887 --> 01:09:00,016
Wait a minute, when did we even have...
1451
01:09:03,561 --> 01:09:07,732
Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!
1452
01:09:07,815 --> 01:09:10,568
Wow. Lenny, that's big, brother.
1453
01:09:10,651 --> 01:09:12,153
Yeah, four kids is the best.
1454
01:09:12,236 --> 01:09:13,654
What are you talking about, Prince?
1455
01:09:13,738 --> 01:09:15,781
You told me it would be
the worst if that happened.
1456
01:09:15,865 --> 01:09:17,825
There's a lot of great aspects to that.
1457
01:09:17,908 --> 01:09:21,537
Like, when Junior graduates high school,
you'll be 64.
1458
01:09:21,620 --> 01:09:22,913
How is that a good thing?
1459
01:09:22,997 --> 01:09:24,707
Actually, it's horrifying.
1460
01:09:24,790 --> 01:09:26,709
I didn't do the math
before I opened my mouth. Sorry.
1461
01:09:26,792 --> 01:09:28,878
Nice job, Cher.
1462
01:09:28,961 --> 01:09:30,004
Okay, I'm not Cher.
1463
01:09:30,087 --> 01:09:32,173
I'm Meat Loaf, all right? Yeah.
1464
01:09:32,256 --> 01:09:34,967
You're Meat Loaf,
or you're made of meat loaf?
1465
01:09:35,051 --> 01:09:36,302
Who are you, Doug Henning?
1466
01:09:36,385 --> 01:09:38,179
I'm Oates.
1467
01:09:38,262 --> 01:09:39,263
Where's Hall?
1468
01:09:39,347 --> 01:09:41,682
Hall's having a playdate with your kids.
1469
01:09:44,894 --> 01:09:46,854
Anyway, you got nothing
to worry about, Lenny.
1470
01:09:46,937 --> 01:09:48,064
All right? You're a great dad.
1471
01:09:48,147 --> 01:09:49,648
Right, I know. I broke my son's leg today.
1472
01:09:49,732 --> 01:09:50,900
That's a real good dad.
1473
01:09:50,983 --> 01:09:53,652
Guys, you're bumming me out, all right?
This is supposed to be party time.
1474
01:09:53,736 --> 01:09:56,697
This isn't gonna be a real party.
I'm drinking a juice box,
1475
01:09:56,781 --> 01:09:59,950
'cause I'm afraid my wife's gonna yell at me
for getting drunk in front of the kids.
1476
01:10:00,034 --> 01:10:03,245
How many of you guys have been to a party
in the past six months?
1477
01:10:04,580 --> 01:10:06,290
A party without a bouncy house.
1478
01:10:07,708 --> 01:10:09,585
A party where they actually invited you.
1479
01:10:11,087 --> 01:10:12,171
Yeah.
1480
01:10:12,254 --> 01:10:14,673
The party's over, fellas.
1481
01:10:14,757 --> 01:10:16,801
You saw the way those frat guys
treated us today.
1482
01:10:16,884 --> 01:10:18,260
We're irrelevant.
1483
01:10:18,344 --> 01:10:19,553
We're losers.
1484
01:10:19,637 --> 01:10:20,679
We're old.
1485
01:10:20,763 --> 01:10:22,139
Lamonsoff totally surrendered.
1486
01:10:22,223 --> 01:10:24,058
He's got a fanny pack on now,
for God's sake.
1487
01:10:24,141 --> 01:10:25,768
You know what, first of all,
1488
01:10:25,851 --> 01:10:28,396
it's a "survanny" pack, a survival fanny pack,
1489
01:10:28,479 --> 01:10:29,855
with many special features.
1490
01:10:29,939 --> 01:10:32,191
So you pull that triangle
and lasagne comes out?
1491
01:10:33,818 --> 01:10:35,194
Why don't you give it a shot?
1492
01:10:35,277 --> 01:10:37,488
You got it. I'll pull the string.
1493
01:10:40,449 --> 01:10:42,535
Like a raft out of hell!
1494
01:10:43,828 --> 01:10:45,871
Yeah, good one, that was good.
1495
01:10:46,330 --> 01:10:48,249
Don't ever say the party's over!
1496
01:10:50,543 --> 01:10:52,336
That didn't happen.
1497
01:10:56,215 --> 01:10:58,342
Hey, Richard Simmons is a hero.
1498
01:11:16,318 --> 01:11:18,404
No, no, no, no, no.
1499
01:11:18,487 --> 01:11:19,697
What's with all this Prince?
1500
01:11:19,780 --> 01:11:20,990
- I'm Prince.
- The hell.
1501
01:11:21,073 --> 01:11:22,408
You ain't Prince. I'm Prince.
1502
01:11:22,491 --> 01:11:24,118
My skin's way lighter than yours.
1503
01:11:24,201 --> 01:11:27,079
You should have came as Seal
on a hunger strike.
1504
01:11:27,163 --> 01:11:30,666
You look like Morgan Freeman
if he was a transvestite.
1505
01:11:30,749 --> 01:11:33,419
And what you doing here, Bumpty?
I thought you was out with my daughter.
1506
01:11:33,502 --> 01:11:35,796
That ain't Bumpty. That's my wife.
1507
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:38,507
Mary! I didn't recognise you.
1508
01:11:38,591 --> 01:11:39,884
Where's your costume?
1509
01:11:39,967 --> 01:11:42,887
I didn't find out about the party
until it was too late.
1510
01:11:43,137 --> 01:11:46,056
So you decided to come as a black Muppet?
1511
01:11:46,390 --> 01:11:48,767
What?
1512
01:11:49,393 --> 01:11:52,855
Come on, you're my one and only,
sweetie-boo-mo-mo.
1513
01:11:53,439 --> 01:11:55,649
Make a muscle for me?
1514
01:11:55,733 --> 01:11:56,859
Pwease?
1515
01:11:59,445 --> 01:12:01,405
So bulgy.
1516
01:12:02,239 --> 01:12:06,327
Like a big caramel apple.
1517
01:12:16,337 --> 01:12:18,088
Wow.
1518
01:12:18,297 --> 01:12:21,926
I'm scared. I feel safe with you.
1519
01:12:32,228 --> 01:12:33,938
Shut up.
1520
01:12:35,523 --> 01:12:39,068
You know, I can make
a connection with a woman.
1521
01:12:39,151 --> 01:12:41,362
I just can't sustain it.
1522
01:12:41,445 --> 01:12:43,614
You know, there's a distance there.
1523
01:12:43,822 --> 01:12:47,868
Try to fill it up pharmaceutically,
you know, with pills,
1524
01:12:47,952 --> 01:12:49,828
or the Discovery Channel,
1525
01:12:49,912 --> 01:12:52,081
or Dino Nuggets.
1526
01:12:52,456 --> 01:12:54,124
But nothing really works.
1527
01:12:54,208 --> 01:12:57,461
See, you understand, you know?
1528
01:12:57,545 --> 01:12:59,588
'Cause you're, I heard,
1529
01:13:00,089 --> 01:13:02,591
sensitive to men.
1530
01:13:03,008 --> 01:13:04,385
God, he's hot!
1531
01:13:04,468 --> 01:13:06,720
Zip it! He'll find out our secret!
1532
01:13:13,143 --> 01:13:15,312
- Drink up, partner.
- Yeah!
1533
01:13:15,396 --> 01:13:16,981
Lenny!
1534
01:13:17,064 --> 01:13:18,816
Secret table.
1535
01:13:18,899 --> 01:13:21,026
Yes, honey, how are you? What's going on?
1536
01:13:21,110 --> 01:13:22,736
We just trying to get our punch on.
1537
01:13:22,820 --> 01:13:23,779
Becky's sleepy.
1538
01:13:23,862 --> 01:13:25,864
She wants her daddy to put her to bed.
1539
01:13:25,948 --> 01:13:28,742
Well, Daddy's right about
to enjoy some refreshing punch,
1540
01:13:28,826 --> 01:13:30,744
so could you put her to sleep?
1541
01:13:30,828 --> 01:13:32,830
Well, you wouldn't want
to have too much punch
1542
01:13:32,913 --> 01:13:35,249
with all these kids running around.
1543
01:13:35,374 --> 01:13:36,834
You know what, I'd be okay with that.
1544
01:13:36,917 --> 01:13:38,252
Actually, you wouldn't.
1545
01:13:38,335 --> 01:13:39,670
Gotcha.
1546
01:13:39,753 --> 01:13:42,590
I'll be back soon, fellas.
I'll be back soon. That's a promise.
1547
01:13:42,673 --> 01:13:44,258
- Let's go, little girl.
- Good night.
1548
01:13:44,341 --> 01:13:45,467
Time to go to sleep.
1549
01:13:45,843 --> 01:13:47,511
Close your eyes.
1550
01:13:51,015 --> 01:13:52,349
Yeah, Mom.
1551
01:13:54,018 --> 01:13:56,353
As easy as making a free throw.
1552
01:13:58,522 --> 01:14:00,733
Hey, Bean, Becky went to sleep.
1553
01:14:00,816 --> 01:14:03,444
I think it's time for you to hit it, pal.
What do you say?
1554
01:14:03,527 --> 01:14:04,820
No, no, don't touch that.
1555
01:14:04,903 --> 01:14:06,322
Yeah, you might break it.
1556
01:14:10,367 --> 01:14:12,036
What...
1557
01:14:12,119 --> 01:14:13,912
Where did you learn how to do that?
1558
01:14:14,038 --> 01:14:15,789
I saw it in one of my dreams.
1559
01:14:20,628 --> 01:14:22,921
You're a genius?
1560
01:14:23,005 --> 01:14:25,299
My boy's a genius.
1561
01:14:29,887 --> 01:14:32,681
Your dad's also a genius.
1562
01:14:32,765 --> 01:14:35,225
Sweet dreams there, angel, okay?
1563
01:14:35,309 --> 01:14:38,437
Daddy, can you lay in bed
with me till I fall asleep?
1564
01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:41,106
What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy.
That's why we came up here.
1565
01:14:41,190 --> 01:14:43,567
Please lay down.
1566
01:14:46,904 --> 01:14:48,113
I'll lay down with you, then.
1567
01:14:48,197 --> 01:14:51,325
I just... There's a party going on, but...
1568
01:14:51,408 --> 01:14:52,951
Can you tell me a story?
1569
01:14:53,035 --> 01:14:54,662
Look who was in the neighbourhood!
1570
01:14:54,745 --> 01:14:57,915
Some of Lenny's friends
from the old J. Geils Band!
1571
01:15:11,804 --> 01:15:14,390
- Daddy?
- You don't want one slug?
1572
01:15:14,473 --> 01:15:15,849
No.
1573
01:15:15,933 --> 01:15:18,102
I thought you liked this stuff. Sorry.
1574
01:15:19,144 --> 01:15:22,189
All right. I'll tell you a story.
1575
01:15:22,314 --> 01:15:28,195
Once upon a time, there was a hand,
1576
01:15:28,737 --> 01:15:31,824
and the hand faced-raked the child.
1577
01:15:32,324 --> 01:15:35,577
Sleep!
1578
01:15:35,869 --> 01:15:38,163
Slee...
1579
01:15:39,331 --> 01:15:41,083
Sleep!
1580
01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:45,963
Boy, Feder's cranking
his old rock and roll records pretty loud.
1581
01:15:46,463 --> 01:15:48,298
Guess he's never heard of neighbours.
1582
01:15:51,051 --> 01:15:52,302
Now, why you stopping here?
1583
01:15:52,469 --> 01:15:53,929
I need some air.
1584
01:15:54,012 --> 01:15:55,180
You need some air?
1585
01:15:55,264 --> 01:15:57,891
- We haven't even gotten to the party yet.
- I would appreciate it
1586
01:15:57,975 --> 01:16:00,269
if you would stop trying to "manage" me.
1587
01:16:01,562 --> 01:16:03,689
Word, word.
1588
01:16:04,189 --> 01:16:05,733
Want me to stay and wait with you?
1589
01:16:05,816 --> 01:16:09,778
I just want to be alone!
1590
01:16:11,363 --> 01:16:13,031
Yo, don't believe the hype.
1591
01:16:13,115 --> 01:16:15,117
Boy!
1592
01:16:24,293 --> 01:16:28,589
Daddy, I can't fall asleep
without Mr Gigglesworth.
1593
01:16:28,672 --> 01:16:31,091
You told me he would be okay.
1594
01:16:31,175 --> 01:16:33,177
He will be. I...
1595
01:16:33,260 --> 01:16:35,471
He just needs to rest a little bit longer, okay?
1596
01:16:35,637 --> 01:16:38,891
Please, Daddy. I need to see him.
1597
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:43,312
He had a very rough day.
1598
01:16:43,645 --> 01:16:48,066
But I'll get him for you,
because you need to see him.
1599
01:16:49,735 --> 01:16:53,030
Doing leg lifts.
I work out when I can, you know?
1600
01:16:53,405 --> 01:16:54,907
Want some Daddy candy right here?
1601
01:16:54,990 --> 01:16:56,950
Why are you naked?
1602
01:16:57,034 --> 01:16:58,577
Global warming.
1603
01:16:59,077 --> 01:17:00,329
Why is this empty?
1604
01:17:00,412 --> 01:17:01,830
- Where is Gigglesworth?
- Hey, hey.
1605
01:17:01,914 --> 01:17:04,958
I'm sorry, man. Were you looking for this?
1606
01:17:05,042 --> 01:17:06,293
Why's he look good?
1607
01:17:06,376 --> 01:17:07,628
I sewed him.
1608
01:17:07,711 --> 01:17:08,796
You sew?
1609
01:17:08,879 --> 01:17:09,963
Where'd you learn how to sew?
1610
01:17:10,047 --> 01:17:11,131
Gay camp.
1611
01:17:11,215 --> 01:17:13,425
You went to gay camp? You're gay?
1612
01:17:13,592 --> 01:17:16,178
No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay,
1613
01:17:16,261 --> 01:17:18,806
but no, there's no such thing
as gay camp, man. It was a joke.
1614
01:17:18,889 --> 01:17:20,682
I learned to sew from my dad,
who was a tailor.
1615
01:17:20,766 --> 01:17:23,310
I've been sewing since
I was Becky's age. Here.
1616
01:17:23,477 --> 01:17:25,395
This is great.
1617
01:17:25,896 --> 01:17:27,940
Gigglesworth's okay,
1618
01:17:28,023 --> 01:17:30,192
you're not fooling around with my wife,
1619
01:17:30,275 --> 01:17:31,527
and you got a pee stain.
1620
01:17:35,697 --> 01:17:37,825
That is not mine.
1621
01:17:47,084 --> 01:17:49,086
You're an animal.
1622
01:17:54,883 --> 01:17:57,761
I am the law!
1623
01:18:07,563 --> 01:18:09,690
Can you dig it?
1624
01:18:21,118 --> 01:18:23,453
Come on, big man,
Lenny's got, like, 12 bathrooms.
1625
01:18:23,662 --> 01:18:25,706
I don't got to go to the bathroom.
1626
01:18:25,789 --> 01:18:27,457
I'm just enjoying the water.
1627
01:18:27,958 --> 01:18:29,918
Get out.
1628
01:18:30,002 --> 01:18:32,588
Hurry! Hurry!
1629
01:18:32,671 --> 01:18:34,381
Fluzoo, come on!
1630
01:18:34,464 --> 01:18:37,342
That's not even warm. It's hot.
1631
01:18:42,306 --> 01:18:44,391
I got to give it to your old man for one thing.
1632
01:18:44,474 --> 01:18:47,269
He could always throw a party.
1633
01:18:47,352 --> 01:18:48,979
This is my dad's party?
1634
01:18:52,441 --> 01:18:55,485
Check out your girlfriend
in the Pat Benatar outfit.
1635
01:19:17,007 --> 01:19:18,383
Charlotte,
1636
01:19:18,467 --> 01:19:19,760
that was amazing.
1637
01:19:19,843 --> 01:19:21,261
Where'd you learn to sing like that?
1638
01:19:21,345 --> 01:19:24,932
No place. I just sing a little in the shower.
1639
01:19:25,182 --> 01:19:27,476
Maybe you should stick to the shower.
1640
01:19:27,559 --> 01:19:28,810
'Cause I gots the power
1641
01:19:28,894 --> 01:19:31,313
I'm on Today Show
Dissing Matt Lauer
1642
01:19:31,396 --> 01:19:32,439
Bumpty!
1643
01:19:32,522 --> 01:19:36,818
Do me a favour and shut your mouth
before I slap that Mohawk into a chin strap.
1644
01:19:36,902 --> 01:19:38,487
What?
1645
01:19:53,085 --> 01:19:54,336
Hey.
1646
01:19:54,419 --> 01:19:56,463
Who invited you guys?
1647
01:19:56,546 --> 01:19:58,882
Your beautiful wife does.
1648
01:19:58,966 --> 01:20:00,175
Well, she invited her,
1649
01:20:00,258 --> 01:20:03,178
and naturally, we assumed it was a plus one.
1650
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:04,805
There a problem?
1651
01:20:04,888 --> 01:20:08,517
No, I was gonna say, great Terminator outfit
1652
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:11,395
and Robert Palmer thing you got on, and...
1653
01:20:12,813 --> 01:20:14,398
Nice babble.
1654
01:20:15,649 --> 01:20:16,984
- How about this?
- No.
1655
01:20:17,067 --> 01:20:18,110
What about that?
1656
01:20:18,193 --> 01:20:20,362
Does that hurt? Is that hurting you?
1657
01:20:20,445 --> 01:20:21,530
Yes, it is hurting me.
1658
01:20:21,613 --> 01:20:24,324
Okay. Well, let me do it some more.
1659
01:20:24,408 --> 01:20:26,702
You got something to say?
1660
01:20:26,785 --> 01:20:28,453
Actually, Cavanaugh.
1661
01:20:28,620 --> 01:20:32,165
You want to stay at my party,
I think you owe me an apology.
1662
01:20:32,249 --> 01:20:33,250
For what?
1663
01:20:33,333 --> 01:20:36,211
For back in the day, always giving me crap.
1664
01:20:36,503 --> 01:20:38,505
You don't want to let bygones be bygones?
1665
01:20:38,588 --> 01:20:41,800
I do. After you apologise to me.
1666
01:20:42,259 --> 01:20:44,052
For stuff I did 30 years ago?
1667
01:20:44,136 --> 01:20:47,681
There isn't a statute
of limitations on being a dick.
1668
01:20:47,764 --> 01:20:49,808
What'd you just say?
1669
01:20:49,891 --> 01:20:51,727
I said what I said.
1670
01:20:51,810 --> 01:20:53,854
You and me are fighting right now.
1671
01:20:53,937 --> 01:20:56,106
Now, let's go! Let's get it over with.
1672
01:20:58,150 --> 01:21:00,527
Man, looks like our friend's about to die.
1673
01:21:00,610 --> 01:21:02,487
Lenny, what's going on?
I'm calling the police!
1674
01:21:02,612 --> 01:21:05,157
We're already here.
1675
01:21:07,951 --> 01:21:09,244
Hold my hair, woman.
1676
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:11,246
You ready for this?
1677
01:21:11,329 --> 01:21:14,082
Not at all, but I'm gonna do this,
1678
01:21:14,166 --> 01:21:16,126
'cause I got to show my son what's right.
1679
01:21:19,963 --> 01:21:21,715
We'd do anything for our boys, wouldn't we?
1680
01:21:21,798 --> 01:21:23,216
Absolutely.
1681
01:21:23,300 --> 01:21:24,384
Yeah.
1682
01:21:24,468 --> 01:21:26,053
My boy's over in Afghanistan.
1683
01:21:26,136 --> 01:21:29,514
Well, you raised him right.
I hope he gets home safe soon.
1684
01:21:29,598 --> 01:21:31,058
Yeah, me, too.
1685
01:21:31,141 --> 01:21:32,559
Sucker-punch him, Feder.
1686
01:21:32,642 --> 01:21:37,022
Lick his bicep. Lick it, bite it, lick the tan off.
1687
01:21:38,648 --> 01:21:40,692
All right, here's what's gonna happen.
1688
01:21:40,776 --> 01:21:43,445
Hit me right on the chin.
I'll go down like a sack of potatoes.
1689
01:21:43,528 --> 01:21:45,781
- What are you talking about?
- Just do it.
1690
01:21:45,864 --> 01:21:48,325
I know you'd do the same for me
if my boy was watching.
1691
01:21:49,326 --> 01:21:51,161
Let's get busy, Hollywood!
1692
01:21:58,460 --> 01:21:59,878
No! Don't hit me, please!
1693
01:21:59,961 --> 01:22:01,880
I'm sorry. Please don't hit me.
1694
01:22:01,963 --> 01:22:03,381
You would tear me limb from limb.
1695
01:22:03,465 --> 01:22:04,758
Open this.
1696
01:22:04,841 --> 01:22:07,469
The only reason I picked on you
was because I was afraid of you.
1697
01:22:07,552 --> 01:22:08,970
- What?
- Oh, my God.
1698
01:22:09,054 --> 01:22:11,056
Please, please, please. Just go with it.
1699
01:22:11,139 --> 01:22:13,391
I didn't think anyone would
believe you could knock me out.
1700
01:22:13,475 --> 01:22:17,270
Please. Don't hit me.
1701
01:22:17,354 --> 01:22:20,440
Cavanaugh's crying. This is ridiculous!
1702
01:22:20,524 --> 01:22:21,483
Cavanaugh.
1703
01:22:21,566 --> 01:22:23,110
You mean you don't
want me to hit you with this?
1704
01:22:23,193 --> 01:22:24,194
No! Please.
1705
01:22:24,444 --> 01:22:26,488
Or the elbow?
1706
01:22:26,863 --> 01:22:28,281
Finger in the eye!
1707
01:22:28,365 --> 01:22:30,242
- Wow.
- Listen to this guy!
1708
01:22:30,325 --> 01:22:33,829
All right, get up. Straighten up.
1709
01:22:34,162 --> 01:22:35,956
I'm not gonna hit you,
1710
01:22:36,581 --> 01:22:40,961
but if you ever disrespect me
1711
01:22:41,044 --> 01:22:42,838
or anybody,
1712
01:22:42,921 --> 01:22:44,756
I will hunt you down,
1713
01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:48,468
and I will slap you into a pile of tattoos,
1714
01:22:49,052 --> 01:22:50,720
bad breath
1715
01:22:51,388 --> 01:22:52,472
and back zits.
1716
01:22:53,515 --> 01:22:55,475
Please.
1717
01:22:55,559 --> 01:22:57,686
Do you understand me?
1718
01:22:57,936 --> 01:22:59,521
Yes, I understand you.
1719
01:22:59,604 --> 01:23:02,190
Do you understand me?
1720
01:23:02,274 --> 01:23:04,734
Yes, I understand you!
1721
01:23:05,068 --> 01:23:06,820
Then walk away before I change my mind.
1722
01:23:06,903 --> 01:23:08,280
Thank you very much.
1723
01:23:14,035 --> 01:23:16,163
- Hey, man, look at him!
- What just happened?
1724
01:23:16,246 --> 01:23:18,165
Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!
1725
01:23:18,248 --> 01:23:21,501
Oh, my God, that was the
manliest thing you ever did.
1726
01:23:21,585 --> 01:23:24,963
You get extra special hip-hop dance tonight.
1727
01:23:25,046 --> 01:23:26,631
Word up.
1728
01:23:30,385 --> 01:23:32,512
Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,
1729
01:23:32,596 --> 01:23:36,183
could you tell him that I'm here waiting
like we arranged?
1730
01:23:36,266 --> 01:23:38,018
Guys? Guys?
1731
01:23:39,519 --> 01:23:43,023
Yeah, okay. Okay, I am a person!
1732
01:23:43,106 --> 01:23:45,025
- That was awesome, by the way.
- Had to. Had to.
1733
01:23:45,108 --> 01:23:46,526
Yeah, yeah, you had to.
1734
01:23:46,610 --> 01:23:48,195
He let you off the hook, didn't he?
1735
01:23:48,278 --> 01:23:51,198
He did, he did, but I had to go with it.
1736
01:23:56,745 --> 01:23:58,622
I can't believe it!
1737
01:23:58,705 --> 01:24:00,874
We hit the moron jackpot!
1738
01:24:00,957 --> 01:24:05,253
Everybody who needs a beating,
conveniently together on one lawn.
1739
01:24:05,337 --> 01:24:06,796
Who are they?
1740
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:09,341
Brunson University frat guys.
1741
01:24:09,424 --> 01:24:12,177
Oh, God, I hate white people.
1742
01:24:12,302 --> 01:24:15,055
Excuse me, why are you here?
What's the matter?
1743
01:24:15,138 --> 01:24:18,183
I tell you what is the matter.
1744
01:24:18,266 --> 01:24:20,977
These old townies trashed our frat house!
1745
01:24:21,061 --> 01:24:24,773
And nobody treats our good-times
headquarters with disrespect!
1746
01:24:24,856 --> 01:24:26,900
Yeah!
1747
01:24:27,025 --> 01:24:29,945
They didn't do it.
1748
01:24:30,028 --> 01:24:31,404
Me do it.
1749
01:24:31,488 --> 01:24:33,782
Don't try and cover for him, Z-Dog!
1750
01:24:33,865 --> 01:24:35,325
Who's Z-Dog?
1751
01:24:35,408 --> 01:24:36,701
We know they're trying to get back at us
1752
01:24:36,785 --> 01:24:38,995
for making them do the naked
plunge in our swimming hole.
1753
01:24:39,079 --> 01:24:42,582
Your swimming hole? I've been swimming
at the quarry since I was eight years old.
1754
01:24:42,666 --> 01:24:45,085
Apparently, everybody in this crap town
1755
01:24:45,168 --> 01:24:47,963
has been swimming there
since they were eight years old.
1756
01:24:48,046 --> 01:24:52,175
I guess nobody wants to leave this dump
because they're too busy sucking!
1757
01:24:57,639 --> 01:24:58,932
We'll finish later.
1758
01:24:59,015 --> 01:25:00,433
- You promise?
- I promise.
1759
01:25:00,517 --> 01:25:02,310
- Okay.
- Hey, smart guy!
1760
01:25:02,394 --> 01:25:04,562
Lenny Feder left this town,
1761
01:25:04,646 --> 01:25:07,691
moved to Hollywood, made big bucks,
1762
01:25:07,774 --> 01:25:10,151
probably more money than
all you brainiacs put together
1763
01:25:10,235 --> 01:25:11,236
ever will.
1764
01:25:11,319 --> 01:25:12,529
But guess what?
1765
01:25:12,654 --> 01:25:14,239
He came back here.
1766
01:25:14,322 --> 01:25:19,035
'Cause this beautiful town is his home.
And it always will be his home.
1767
01:25:24,374 --> 01:25:28,378
Well, that was just a moving testament
to this community, bro!
1768
01:25:28,461 --> 01:25:32,590
But we didn't come here
to hear any lame speeches.
1769
01:25:32,674 --> 01:25:37,304
We came here to kick some old, smelly ass!
1770
01:25:43,018 --> 01:25:45,270
Fellas, we may be old.
1771
01:25:45,395 --> 01:25:46,646
We may be smelly.
1772
01:25:46,730 --> 01:25:48,732
We may have a penis.
1773
01:25:51,860 --> 01:25:54,571
But the only ones getting
their ass kicked around here
1774
01:25:54,654 --> 01:25:57,532
is gonna be you spoiled,
1775
01:25:57,657 --> 01:26:01,536
privileged, uppity, preppy D-bags.
1776
01:26:01,619 --> 01:26:02,787
You hear that?
1777
01:26:02,871 --> 01:26:05,290
Now, let's get busy!
1778
01:26:26,269 --> 01:26:27,479
They're dancing on the ceiling
1779
01:26:27,562 --> 01:26:30,190
They're dancing on the floor
1780
01:26:30,273 --> 01:26:33,360
People everywhere coming through the door
1781
01:26:33,443 --> 01:26:36,529
They know there's a party going on
1782
01:26:46,122 --> 01:26:47,665
Come on, son!
1783
01:26:47,749 --> 01:26:48,708
You ain't tough!
1784
01:26:48,792 --> 01:26:50,251
Hit him!
1785
01:26:50,919 --> 01:26:55,382
Yeah, Braden! Yeah! Damn!
1786
01:26:55,465 --> 01:26:56,966
You want this?
1787
01:27:01,304 --> 01:27:02,597
Sir, please stop it!
1788
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:04,933
That's not a sir! That's a woman!
1789
01:27:05,016 --> 01:27:07,143
My woman!
1790
01:27:07,227 --> 01:27:09,396
Come on, babe.
1791
01:27:09,479 --> 01:27:12,732
I know you're gonna lose control
1792
01:27:12,816 --> 01:27:14,025
You can do
1793
01:27:14,109 --> 01:27:16,027
Oh, you're so hot.
1794
01:27:19,572 --> 01:27:22,367
I know it's cold outside
1795
01:27:22,450 --> 01:27:24,452
Don't bust my face!
1796
01:27:24,994 --> 01:27:26,496
You saved me.
1797
01:27:28,415 --> 01:27:31,668
I will protect you for the rest of your life.
1798
01:27:31,751 --> 01:27:34,838
Okay, blow dryer boy.
1799
01:27:38,341 --> 01:27:39,592
Oh, God, no!
1800
01:27:39,676 --> 01:27:41,719
No! No!
1801
01:27:41,803 --> 01:27:43,805
Yeah! Yeah!
1802
01:27:43,888 --> 01:27:45,598
Having a good anniversary, babe?
1803
01:27:45,682 --> 01:27:47,016
Honey, the best.
1804
01:27:51,521 --> 01:27:52,939
I can't breathe.
1805
01:27:53,022 --> 01:27:54,107
Choking me!
1806
01:28:04,742 --> 01:28:05,910
Yeah!
1807
01:28:05,994 --> 01:28:07,787
We did it. We did it, man.
1808
01:28:07,871 --> 01:28:08,830
Yeah.
1809
01:28:08,913 --> 01:28:10,373
We make a good team.
1810
01:28:10,457 --> 01:28:11,958
Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
1811
01:28:38,276 --> 01:28:40,653
I know it's cold outside
1812
01:28:40,737 --> 01:28:43,573
Come on, babe, I'll keep you satisfied
1813
01:28:43,656 --> 01:28:44,782
Boomer!
1814
01:28:44,866 --> 01:28:46,075
What's going on?
1815
01:28:46,159 --> 01:28:47,619
This!
1816
01:28:47,702 --> 01:28:50,497
You're a traitor, Boomer!
1817
01:28:50,580 --> 01:28:51,748
His name's not Boomer!
1818
01:28:52,832 --> 01:28:54,125
It's Gary.
1819
01:28:54,209 --> 01:28:55,376
It's Greg.
1820
01:28:55,460 --> 01:28:57,629
Greg.
1821
01:29:04,636 --> 01:29:06,971
Oh, my God! Did you see his head?
1822
01:29:07,055 --> 01:29:08,765
He's got a... He's bald!
1823
01:29:08,932 --> 01:29:10,350
I got a wild one!
1824
01:29:10,433 --> 01:29:12,185
I got a wild one!
1825
01:29:14,103 --> 01:29:15,688
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
1826
01:29:15,772 --> 01:29:17,815
Nobody noogies my brother!
1827
01:29:19,692 --> 01:29:22,070
My brain! My brain!
1828
01:29:26,741 --> 01:29:28,493
B.U.!
1829
01:29:28,576 --> 01:29:30,036
Hey, man! I had that one.
1830
01:29:30,119 --> 01:29:31,704
I know you did, big brother.
1831
01:29:31,788 --> 01:29:33,873
- Get out of here!
- Don't hit me!
1832
01:29:33,957 --> 01:29:36,876
Hey, hey, look who showed up.
1833
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:39,921
Flippy-boy.
Yeah, you want to flip your way out of this?
1834
01:29:41,297 --> 01:29:42,715
Too slow, old man.
1835
01:29:42,799 --> 01:29:44,133
Where you work out, Cinnabon?
1836
01:29:47,303 --> 01:29:48,555
Look who's back up, baby.
1837
01:29:48,638 --> 01:29:50,640
I didn't know we were kicking.
Give me a second to stretch.
1838
01:29:50,723 --> 01:29:52,016
All right.
1839
01:29:52,100 --> 01:29:53,518
We're gonna throw some legs, huh?
1840
01:29:53,601 --> 01:29:55,270
You want to throw some legs, huh?
1841
01:29:57,272 --> 01:29:59,107
Boom!
1842
01:29:59,190 --> 01:30:00,942
That just happened.
1843
01:30:01,734 --> 01:30:04,070
What, were you raised by ninjas?
1844
01:30:05,572 --> 01:30:07,240
Congratulations.
1845
01:30:07,323 --> 01:30:08,324
You won the fight.
1846
01:30:08,408 --> 01:30:09,409
Here's your prize.
1847
01:30:11,077 --> 01:30:14,372
Thanks, little girl. It looks just like you.
1848
01:30:17,000 --> 01:30:18,668
It's a monkey!
1849
01:30:19,168 --> 01:30:20,295
Look at me!
1850
01:30:20,378 --> 01:30:23,339
I'm a stupid little monkey.
1851
01:30:27,385 --> 01:30:29,804
Good night.
1852
01:30:32,473 --> 01:30:34,642
Come on, guys! We got to get out!
1853
01:30:34,726 --> 01:30:36,102
Let's go!
1854
01:30:38,104 --> 01:30:39,897
Lenny! Baby.
1855
01:30:39,981 --> 01:30:41,733
- Baby, are you all right?
- I'm coming for you, Leonard!
1856
01:30:43,359 --> 01:30:46,237
I'm here for you, Leonard. I'm here for you.
1857
01:30:46,321 --> 01:30:48,281
Who... Who are you?
1858
01:30:48,364 --> 01:30:49,866
It's your pretty, shiny Penny.
1859
01:30:51,868 --> 01:30:54,454
Oops, sorry, I kicked your barrette.
1860
01:30:58,249 --> 01:31:00,418
Sorry, honey!
1861
01:31:02,378 --> 01:31:02,670
You guys were Fuji and Tanaka out there.
1862
01:31:02,670 --> 01:31:05,506
You guys were Fuji and Tanaka out there.
1863
01:31:05,590 --> 01:31:07,008
This is just like high school.
1864
01:31:07,091 --> 01:31:10,970
Get drunk, get in a fight,
wind up back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.
1865
01:31:11,054 --> 01:31:13,056
Except for the drunk part, Mommy.
1866
01:31:15,350 --> 01:31:19,062
All you guys together brings back
so many memories.
1867
01:31:19,562 --> 01:31:22,231
- Dickie, is this you and Lenny?
- Let's see.
1868
01:31:22,357 --> 01:31:24,525
Yeah, me and Hollywood were
best friends in kindergarten.
1869
01:31:24,609 --> 01:31:25,902
- Yep.
- What happened?
1870
01:31:25,985 --> 01:31:28,488
What do you mean, "What happened?"
We were in different classes.
1871
01:31:28,571 --> 01:31:29,822
We kind of drifted apart, right?
1872
01:31:29,906 --> 01:31:32,075
Yeah. He was in those smart classes.
1873
01:31:32,158 --> 01:31:33,660
I was in the other classes.
1874
01:31:36,287 --> 01:31:37,664
Hey, who's this guy?
1875
01:31:37,747 --> 01:31:39,624
- Anybody remember him?
- Who is that?
1876
01:31:39,707 --> 01:31:40,833
Wow, what happened to that kid?
1877
01:31:40,917 --> 01:31:42,168
He's still here.
1878
01:31:45,505 --> 01:31:47,882
Why do I know my new kid's
gonna end up looking like that?
1879
01:31:47,965 --> 01:31:50,343
- You're having a baby, Lenny?
- Yeah.
1880
01:31:50,426 --> 01:31:51,928
Yeah, so I'm told, Mrs Lamonsoff.
1881
01:31:52,095 --> 01:31:53,721
A surprise, huh?
1882
01:31:53,805 --> 01:31:55,181
Yes.
1883
01:31:55,264 --> 01:31:58,851
People today try to plan things out so much.
1884
01:31:58,935 --> 01:32:02,105
But don't think an unexpected
child is loved any less
1885
01:32:02,188 --> 01:32:04,440
than one you planned for.
1886
01:32:05,066 --> 01:32:08,528
Someday, Lenny, you won't even remember
what life was like with just three children.
1887
01:32:09,946 --> 01:32:11,823
You think we wanted Eric?
1888
01:32:11,906 --> 01:32:13,408
- He was an accident.
- Mama.
1889
01:32:13,491 --> 01:32:16,619
His father and I were in the
men's room at a Patriots game...
1890
01:32:16,703 --> 01:32:18,830
You know what, I think I'm
just gonna turn the page here.
1891
01:32:18,913 --> 01:32:20,998
I'm turning the page.
1892
01:32:21,082 --> 01:32:22,542
Finish the story!
1893
01:32:33,010 --> 01:32:36,180
Officer Dante's passed out on our lawn.
1894
01:32:36,264 --> 01:32:39,809
I know. I saw him trying to arrest an anthill.
1895
01:32:42,854 --> 01:32:44,939
Want to talk about
the whole pregnancy thing?
1896
01:32:48,151 --> 01:32:49,986
It's okay. We'll talk tomorrow.
1897
01:32:50,069 --> 01:32:51,320
Okay.
1898
01:32:51,404 --> 01:32:54,741
Okay, you go to sleep.
I'll make this between me and the baby.
1899
01:33:02,165 --> 01:33:04,167
Hello in there.
1900
01:33:04,584 --> 01:33:06,210
This is your daddy speaking.
1901
01:33:08,045 --> 01:33:11,340
I just want to tell you welcome to the family,
1902
01:33:11,424 --> 01:33:14,844
and I love you very, very, very much.
1903
01:33:15,178 --> 01:33:19,015
I really don't care if you're a boy or girl.
1904
01:33:19,974 --> 01:33:22,935
I just need you to promise me one thing.
1905
01:33:23,352 --> 01:33:27,148
When you're in elementary
school, study ballet,
1906
01:33:27,231 --> 01:33:29,942
so I can see that teacher
as much as possible.
1907
01:33:30,318 --> 01:33:31,277
Hey.
1908
01:33:31,360 --> 01:33:33,279
I knew that was coming.
1909
01:33:35,198 --> 01:33:38,743
To be honest,
I don't need no stinking ballet teacher.
1910
01:33:39,035 --> 01:33:41,829
I'm married to the most
beautiful woman in the world,
1911
01:33:41,913 --> 01:33:43,206
your mommy.
1912
01:33:43,873 --> 01:33:47,376
Are you saying sweet things to me
because you want to fool around?
1913
01:33:47,627 --> 01:33:50,421
That would be a nice way
to kick off the summer.
1914
01:33:50,505 --> 01:33:53,633
Okay, Mr Romantic.
1915
01:33:54,008 --> 01:33:55,760
But let's do this quick,
1916
01:33:55,843 --> 01:33:57,678
we have a big day tomorrow, okay?
1917
01:33:57,762 --> 01:33:58,971
Absolutely.
1918
01:33:59,055 --> 01:34:00,807
Watch your head in there.
1919
01:34:06,979 --> 01:34:09,273
Hang on. Hang on. I'm sorry, honey.
1920
01:34:09,357 --> 01:34:12,568
Don't move. Don't move.
Oh, my God, I'm going to!
1921
01:34:15,071 --> 01:34:19,742
I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!
1922
01:34:19,826 --> 01:34:21,494
Lenny, grow up!
1923
01:34:21,577 --> 01:34:23,913
I did it for the baby!
137887
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