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1
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'This is Anita. Gorgeous,
isn't she? And a natural blonde.
2
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:35,080
'This is me - Meena. I'm not blonde,
but I've got nice eyelashes.
3
00:00:35,115 --> 00:00:39,032
'Anita is my best friend
in the whole world. '
4
00:00:41,076 --> 00:00:43,032
Ow!
5
00:00:49,036 --> 00:00:51,026
Ow!
6
00:00:51,061 --> 00:00:53,034
Aggh!
7
00:00:55,008 --> 00:00:56,981
'I never thought this would happen,
either.
8
00:00:57,016 --> 00:01:01,060
'In Jackie Magazine, people
always say, "I love you to death. "
9
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:04,096
'I never got it... till now,
when it's too late.
10
00:01:09,004 --> 00:01:12,512
'Anyway,
it all began in spring 1972.
11
00:01:12,547 --> 00:01:15,985
'I live in a village
called Tollington,
12
00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:21,008
'which used to have a mine,
but now has a very good pub instead.
13
00:01:21,043 --> 00:01:24,061
'There's loads of places
to explore in Tollington,
14
00:01:24,096 --> 00:01:29,080
'except for one place where nobody
dares to go cos a yeti lives there.
15
00:01:29,115 --> 00:01:34,009
'It's this big house.
We call it The Yeti's Big House.
16
00:01:34,044 --> 00:01:38,064
'Mrs Ormerod sells everything,
except high-heel shoes, which she
17
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:41,033
says are "the footwear of Satan"
18
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:44,049
'and leads to "babies left
on doorsteps instead of milk".
19
00:01:44,084 --> 00:01:50,032
'In case the devil comes, we've got
a new vicar with a groovy haircut.
20
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:54,012
'We call him Uncle Alan. Grown-ups
call him "that hippy bugger".
21
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:55,973
'I prefer Uncle.
22
00:01:56,008 --> 00:01:58,524
'Our yard is a hotbed of
poptastic action,
23
00:01:58,559 --> 00:02:01,299
'thanks to a famous rock star
living there.
24
00:02:01,334 --> 00:02:04,005
'You probably recognise him -
Hairy Neddy.
25
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:08,042
'He has a troubled love life, even
with a dual pulse electric organ. '
26
00:02:08,077 --> 00:02:12,044
Give us a hand. Bog off, Ned. I'm
sick of you and your frigging organ.
27
00:02:12,079 --> 00:02:17,041
'My village, full of merriment,
mayhem and a mysterious monster. '
28
00:02:17,076 --> 00:02:22,004
"That's why I love in Tollington,
the jewel of the Black Country. "
29
00:02:26,004 --> 00:02:29,028
I wrote it on my own, Miss. I got
some words out of Reader's Digest.
30
00:02:29,063 --> 00:02:31,057
Yes, Meena, very...
31
00:02:31,092 --> 00:02:34,064
'Brilliant? Bold? Bosting?'
32
00:02:34,099 --> 00:02:37,004
.. florid. 'Florid?
33
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:40,021
'I'll give you florid!'
34
00:02:40,056 --> 00:02:42,977
Then I saw this shadow in the trees.
35
00:02:43,012 --> 00:02:46,076
It was this big shaggy head
that blotted out the moon
36
00:02:46,111 --> 00:02:48,973
and, yes, it was the yeti.
37
00:02:49,008 --> 00:02:53,552
I ran, but I tripped over a skull
and it was getting nearer... OW!
38
00:02:53,587 --> 00:02:58,096
If you spent as long on homework,
we'd have a genius in the family.
39
00:02:58,131 --> 00:03:00,013
'This is my mama.
40
00:03:00,048 --> 00:03:03,088
'She has the face of a princess
and the mouth of a teacher.
41
00:03:03,123 --> 00:03:06,981
'Worse still, she teaches at MY
school...
42
00:03:07,016 --> 00:03:09,084
.. which means THIS is always
happening to me. '
43
00:03:09,119 --> 00:03:11,057
Karen, my star pupil!
44
00:03:11,092 --> 00:03:14,096
She goes to Queen Elizabeth Grammar
School.
45
00:03:14,131 --> 00:03:16,013
She got a scholarship.
46
00:03:16,048 --> 00:03:19,005
And she's just done a sponsored swim
for the mentally ill.
47
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:24,056
What do you want to be when you grow
up?A blonde writer!A blind doctor.
48
00:03:24,091 --> 00:03:27,028
A doctor who treats blind people,
or a lawyer.
49
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:35,969
Come on! I'm fed up with
you messing yourself.
50
00:03:36,004 --> 00:03:39,016
D'you think pants grow on trees?!
'These are our new neighbours.
51
00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:42,012
'Mama's avoided them up until now. '
52
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:44,049
Oh, little tinkers, ain't they?
53
00:03:44,084 --> 00:03:49,052
Yes. Oi, Deirdre, get in here!
I need a hand in the bedroom!
54
00:03:49,087 --> 00:03:51,013
You can say that again, Sid!
55
00:03:51,048 --> 00:03:54,001
'I dont think they'll be invited
round for nibbles.
56
00:03:54,036 --> 00:03:57,092
'That's the Lowbridge family.
This happens nearly every week.
57
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,997
'That's the first time
that's happened.
58
00:04:04,032 --> 00:04:06,084
'Sam has hair like Donny Osmond,
but, unlike Donny,
59
00:04:06,119 --> 00:04:08,005
he smokes and brews his own cider. '
60
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,064
It's Chris Rhodes with knobs on,
ain't it?
61
00:04:10,099 --> 00:04:12,029
All right, Mrs K?
62
00:04:12,064 --> 00:04:16,008
'This is Sandra, who's very pretty,
but still not married.
63
00:04:16,043 --> 00:04:18,053
'Maybe cos she's got ginger hair.
64
00:04:18,088 --> 00:04:21,092
'I think Neddy said he was
colour-blind. '
65
00:04:26,072 --> 00:04:28,989
Nice one, Sam! >
66
00:04:29,024 --> 00:04:31,024
Don't let him back, Mavis, you hear?
67
00:04:31,059 --> 00:04:32,989
Course she will, the stupid mare.
68
00:04:33,024 --> 00:04:36,004
It's her only entertainment, getting
the shite kicked out of her.
69
00:04:36,039 --> 00:04:38,993
Come on you, in! Get your dad to
clean you up.
70
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:44,088
I'm on late shift today! Better get
your beauty sleep then, you ugly git!
71
00:04:46,088 --> 00:04:50,977
Hark at madam! Just moved here
and thinks she farts perfume.
72
00:04:51,012 --> 00:04:56,068
Where's your Brenda? Missed the
bright lights. Gone back to Willenhall.
73
00:04:56,103 --> 00:04:59,989
Mama, I'm glad Sam hit his dad.
Is that bad of me?
74
00:05:00,024 --> 00:05:05,060
No. Poor Mrs Lowbridge. How terrible
to have a husband like that. Yeah.
75
00:05:05,095 --> 00:05:08,045
We can't all be hitched to
Omar Sharif, eh, Mrs K?!
76
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:11,052
We have to be twice as good
as the English to get anywhere...
77
00:05:11,087 --> 00:05:14,047
'This is my papa, yes, the filmstar.
78
00:05:14,082 --> 00:05:16,973
'He's married to... the princess.
79
00:05:17,008 --> 00:05:21,072
'They're very disappointed with me.
I've worked out why. '
80
00:05:21,107 --> 00:05:24,005
Was I adopted?
81
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,985
What did you say? Adopted?
82
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:30,076
Oh, did I say it? I just meant to
think it quietly.
83
00:05:30,111 --> 00:05:32,017
What is wrong with you?
84
00:05:32,052 --> 00:05:36,534
Everything is a story or a rude quip.
Stories don't butter your chapati.
85
00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:41,016
I came second in the school essay
competition. Second? Who was first?
86
00:05:41,051 --> 00:05:45,040
Your entrance exam is only...
.. 11 months away.
87
00:05:45,075 --> 00:05:48,041
Homework.
88
00:05:48,076 --> 00:05:50,973
'Papa has a degree in philosophy
89
00:05:51,008 --> 00:05:55,004
'and has therefore asked the
universe some very big questions. '
90
00:05:55,039 --> 00:05:58,551
I asked the universe big questions
about life, death and meaning.
91
00:05:58,586 --> 00:06:01,819
The universe replied, "Don't bother.
You'll end up as an accountant.
92
00:06:01,854 --> 00:06:05,052
"You'll speak better English than
your boss who can't spell and wears
93
00:06:05,087 --> 00:06:07,049
"a wig, but we work. "
94
00:06:07,084 --> 00:06:10,045
My friends like my stories.
95
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,020
You don't need friends. You have us.
96
00:06:13,055 --> 00:06:15,049
Education is your passport.
97
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:17,044
'Education is your passport...
98
00:06:19,036 --> 00:06:22,009
'Yeah, right
I've had six years of education,
99
00:06:22,044 --> 00:06:26,028
'so how come I'm not disco-ing
in America with David Cassidy
100
00:06:26,063 --> 00:06:28,049
or sunbathing in Spain with T Rex?
101
00:06:28,084 --> 00:06:34,088
'The furthest I've been is a school
trip to the sewage works in Dudley.
102
00:06:34,123 --> 00:06:36,973
'We do get a lot of visitors.
103
00:06:37,008 --> 00:06:40,008
'Mum and Dad invite round any old
Indian they meet in the street
104
00:06:40,043 --> 00:06:43,053
'to pinch my cheeks
and eat all the best biscuits.
105
00:06:43,088 --> 00:06:48,000
'There's loads of them
and somehow they fit in one car. '
106
00:06:48,035 --> 00:06:51,004
Bloody hell! What's the next trick?
107
00:07:08,096 --> 00:07:11,017
'Oh, God! Auntie Shaila.
108
00:07:11,052 --> 00:07:14,068
'Mama says she has a big heart,
which Papa says goes really well
109
00:07:14,103 --> 00:07:16,001
with her mouth. '
110
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:20,068
Don't talk to me. Dragging me every
time to this bloody jungle place.
111
00:07:20,103 --> 00:07:25,024
Dog mess on my sandals
and all the inbreds staring at us.
112
00:07:25,059 --> 00:07:28,040
Come in! Come in quickly.
113
00:07:28,075 --> 00:07:30,024
Amman?
114
00:07:31,092 --> 00:07:34,048
We've just run over a hedgehog.
115
00:07:35,068 --> 00:07:39,000
Its cries of pain
will haunt me forever.
116
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,526
Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!
117
00:07:49,004 --> 00:07:51,025
Pardon, Auntie?There.
118
00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:54,985
You see that?
You should move near us.
119
00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:58,012
Meena could go to Hindi lessons
with Pinky and Baby -
120
00:07:58,047 --> 00:08:00,049
pick up some decent habits.
121
00:08:00,084 --> 00:08:04,048
Like what? Urinating in phone boxes,
hitting old ladies?
122
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:06,049
I've heard about your estate.
123
00:08:06,084 --> 00:08:12,036
The sky, the trees, it's the closest
we get to home. Look at our view.
124
00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:21,052
Forget the view, you silly poet.
Worry about your daughter.
125
00:08:25,076 --> 00:08:27,582
'There's no place like home.
126
00:08:27,617 --> 00:08:30,053
'There's no space in my home.
127
00:08:30,088 --> 00:08:35,040
'I wished for a tornado
to whisk me away, and she came. '
128
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:40,008
# In a world
that's constantly changing
129
00:08:40,043 --> 00:08:43,016
# How can I be sure
130
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,044
# Where I stand with you?
131
00:08:49,092 --> 00:08:52,045
# Whenever I
132
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:57,052
# Whenever I'm away from you... #
133
00:09:00,016 --> 00:09:05,012
< Meena! Play fairies with us.
Bog off, Pinky and Baby!
134
00:09:05,047 --> 00:09:07,036
What's your...
135
00:09:07,071 --> 00:09:08,969
.. name?
136
00:09:09,004 --> 00:09:13,072
'What was a groovy chick like her
doing in Tollington?
137
00:09:13,107 --> 00:09:19,016
'Maybe she was lost like me,
here by mistake,
138
00:09:19,051 --> 00:09:20,092
'waiting for something to happen. '
139
00:09:22,056 --> 00:09:24,973
# Whenever I
140
00:09:25,008 --> 00:09:27,029
# Whenever I am away... #
141
00:09:27,064 --> 00:09:32,052
'I only knew two things - one,
Mama and Papa wouldn't like her...
142
00:09:33,048 --> 00:09:35,977
'.. and, two, I already did. '
143
00:09:36,012 --> 00:09:42,056
What's your name? Be my mate.
What's your name? Be my mate.
144
00:09:42,091 --> 00:09:45,064
First sign of madness, talking to
yourself.
145
00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:52,028
Sorry, Sam, I didn't see you. Sorry.
She's a bad 'un. Keep away from her.
146
00:09:52,063 --> 00:09:57,013
Who says she's bad?Same folk
who call me a bastard, which I am.
147
00:09:57,048 --> 00:10:02,546
They call you something long enough
round here, it sticks like shit.
148
00:10:02,581 --> 00:10:08,044
You're like a little brown doll. Do
you know what they call you, Meena?
149
00:10:08,079 --> 00:10:11,016
Can I get up now? I can't breathe.
150
00:10:16,024 --> 00:10:18,033
Who's that?Nobody.
151
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:20,997
Anita Rutter, her sister.
152
00:10:21,032 --> 00:10:26,064
'Anita Rutter - even her name
was exciting and full of mystery.
153
00:10:26,099 --> 00:10:29,053
'She's got a gang called
"the wenches".
154
00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:33,580
'I'm sure they'll let me in
when I tell them my special skill. '
155
00:10:33,615 --> 00:10:38,072
I once got 17 sherbet saucers in my
mouth... at once. It's big enough!
156
00:10:38,107 --> 00:10:41,587
What, like your arse?
That's me dad, that is.
157
00:10:41,622 --> 00:10:44,837
He won medals in the war
for blowing up Jerries.
158
00:10:44,872 --> 00:10:48,052
Did he blow up men who WEREN'T
called Jerry as well?
159
00:10:48,087 --> 00:10:50,587
Are you slow or just funny?
160
00:10:50,622 --> 00:10:53,088
Don't know. Funny, I suppose.
161
00:10:53,123 --> 00:10:55,993
I like your eye colour.
162
00:10:56,028 --> 00:10:58,060
Eye shadow it's called. Shadow?
163
00:10:58,095 --> 00:11:00,092
You don't know nothing, do you?
164
00:11:02,044 --> 00:11:06,052
With respect, THIS is the approved
church charity this year.
165
00:11:06,087 --> 00:11:09,017
It was voted on. That's how
democracy works.
166
00:11:09,052 --> 00:11:13,036
You've only raised enough for
some tinned pineapple and a blanket.
167
00:11:13,071 --> 00:11:15,017
How many babies will you save?
168
00:11:15,052 --> 00:11:19,088
That's why I'm giving out these,
to get people to give more.
169
00:11:19,123 --> 00:11:21,985
It's the brotherhood of man.
170
00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:24,064
What about "charity begins at home"?
171
00:11:24,099 --> 00:11:26,013
Away from those sweets, madam.
172
00:11:26,048 --> 00:11:28,084
Satan's sticky fingers are
unwelcome.
173
00:11:28,119 --> 00:11:30,061
The church roof needs mending.
174
00:11:30,096 --> 00:11:33,061
Half the choir got bronchitis last
winter.
175
00:11:33,096 --> 00:11:38,074
Little black babies or our
pensioners struggling with phlegm.
176
00:11:38,109 --> 00:11:43,052
The world is getting smaller,
Enid, don't get left behind.
177
00:11:43,087 --> 00:11:46,057
I visited my daughter in Brighton.
178
00:11:46,092 --> 00:11:48,993
I know about the world, thank you.
179
00:11:49,028 --> 00:11:54,012
I was the first person
in this village to ingest a scallop.
180
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,072
If that's what progress tastes like,
you can keep it.
181
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,068
Goodbye, girls. Goodbye, Meena.
182
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,997
Meena, chick, I didn't see you
there.
183
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:16,053
Seen our Julie's latest postcard?
Rome, see?
184
00:12:16,088 --> 00:12:20,068
"Me and Barbara having a lovely
time. " That's her flatmate.
185
00:12:20,103 --> 00:12:23,993
Nice girl, bit hairy.
They have fun.
186
00:12:24,028 --> 00:12:28,040
You can tell a person by the company
they keep. You know what I'm saying?
187
00:12:28,075 --> 00:12:31,064
Yes, Mrs Ormerod. S'pose your dad
might like to give something.
188
00:12:31,099 --> 00:12:36,008
We're not African!
I know, chick - who is?
189
00:12:36,043 --> 00:12:38,993
We've started a church roof fund.
190
00:12:39,028 --> 00:12:42,020
I'll get a leaflet for your dad -
I know he likes reading.
191
00:12:42,055 --> 00:12:44,092
Keep an eye out for me, Meena,
chick.
192
00:12:49,096 --> 00:12:52,056
Let me!
193
00:12:52,091 --> 00:12:55,016
Meena...
194
00:12:55,051 --> 00:12:56,044
Oi!
195
00:12:58,076 --> 00:13:00,041
Drop it!
196
00:13:00,076 --> 00:13:03,072
Hurry! She's gonna get us.
197
00:13:03,107 --> 00:13:06,029
Come on! Oi!
198
00:13:06,064 --> 00:13:10,052
We'll be OK. It's half past four.
What happens then?
199
00:13:10,087 --> 00:13:12,969
The factory bus.
200
00:13:13,004 --> 00:13:15,028
# I hear you knocking
201
00:13:15,063 --> 00:13:17,052
# Go back where you been
202
00:13:20,052 --> 00:13:26,000
# I begged you not to go
but you said goodbye
203
00:13:26,035 --> 00:13:30,024
# Now you're telling me
all your lies
204
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,045
# I hear you knocking
205
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:36,028
# But you can't come in... #
206
00:13:39,044 --> 00:13:42,041
Mum, where you been?
Shopping.
207
00:13:42,076 --> 00:13:46,029
What did you get me?
Window shopping. Get in!
208
00:13:46,064 --> 00:13:49,024
What's for tea, Mum?Fishfingers.
Oh, I love fishfingers.
209
00:13:49,059 --> 00:13:51,084
Here you are, wench. See ya.
210
00:13:54,064 --> 00:13:57,020
She called me a wench.
211
00:13:58,096 --> 00:14:00,025
I wanted fishfingers.
212
00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:01,981
Go and eat in a restaurant.
213
00:14:02,016 --> 00:14:05,080
Have you forgotten
I work all day as well?OK.
214
00:14:05,115 --> 00:14:07,601
Anita has fishfingers all the time.
215
00:14:07,636 --> 00:14:10,053
It's why British kids have rickets.
216
00:14:10,088 --> 00:14:14,025
Have you started your homework?
Let her eat.
217
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:18,969
Just ask if you want any help.
English food is easy.
218
00:14:19,004 --> 00:14:23,040
Boiled till it tastes of nothing,
but this - this is home food,
219
00:14:23,075 --> 00:14:25,076
it doesn't just fill your tummy.
220
00:14:25,111 --> 00:14:27,088
Now, eat.
221
00:14:32,084 --> 00:14:38,048
Papa? Hmm?Were you in the war?
Which war?The one with the Jerries.
222
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,048
I didn't fight Germans.
223
00:14:42,096 --> 00:14:46,053
Poverty, partition, the British.
Which British?
224
00:14:46,088 --> 00:14:50,004
The ones that live here?
They were in our country, in India.
225
00:14:50,039 --> 00:14:53,020
If you didn't like them, why did you
come here?
226
00:14:53,055 --> 00:14:55,071
You'll understand when you're older.
227
00:14:55,106 --> 00:14:57,088
Anita's dad's a hero - with medals.
228
00:14:59,088 --> 00:15:01,028
Nobody gave us any medals.
229
00:15:02,084 --> 00:15:05,020
Now, finish your dinner
and do your homework.
230
00:15:08,068 --> 00:15:13,092
They have their bog roll delivered -
that soft stuff that doesn't skid.
231
00:15:13,127 --> 00:15:14,997
Who lives there?
232
00:15:15,032 --> 00:15:19,096
Never seen them, but Jody Hitchen
drownded in their lake, years ago.
233
00:15:19,131 --> 00:15:24,028
Everyone says it was... The yeti!
You what?Yeah, I seen it.
234
00:15:24,063 --> 00:15:26,032
When?
235
00:15:28,088 --> 00:15:31,036
Nita?.. Nita!
236
00:15:32,088 --> 00:15:37,041
Nita, what are you doing?
I'm going in. What's it look like?
237
00:15:37,076 --> 00:15:45,008
No, Nita! You'll die. The yeti will get you.
'I have to get to Nita before the yeti does.
238
00:15:45,043 --> 00:15:49,020
'Everyone else is too young
or scared or fat to save her.
239
00:15:49,055 --> 00:15:52,989
'She won't know how to handle
a man-eating monster.
240
00:15:53,024 --> 00:16:01,036
'He might be playing football with her liver, wearing
her eyeballs as earrings, snapping her fingers... '
241
00:16:01,071 --> 00:16:02,061
Stop!
242
00:16:02,096 --> 00:16:08,033
Don't fall in, wench, or you'll
never come up - no bottom, see?
243
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:15,076
There's ghosts at night, like Bob Monkhouse, but
greener. If I'd fallen in, would you have saved me?
244
00:16:15,111 --> 00:16:22,033
I can't swim. No point in both of us dying.
I wanna die somewhere else. Somewhere better.
245
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:30,044
I ain't meant to be here. I think that all the time.
I'd try to save you, but I'd save myself first. Oh.
246
00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:35,000
Good place for our den, wench.
What do you think? Our den?
247
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:37,032
Yeah, bosting!
248
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:45,037
'Anita's not scared about having
our den in the yeti's garden.
249
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:51,096
'She says anyone who's seen her mum in
a mini skirt ain't afraid of anything.
250
00:16:51,131 --> 00:16:56,064
'Perfect match - Anita's glamorous
and I'm good at tidying up. '
251
00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:59,985
# You can stretch right up
and touch the sky... #
252
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:07,080
'She loves my stories and as long as I keep her
laughing, she doesn't punch me. It works quite well.
253
00:17:07,115 --> 00:17:12,565
'We're gonna get a flat in London
on the King's Avenue in Chelsea.
254
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:18,016
'We're gonna wear high heels,
have loads of boyfriends and a pony.
255
00:17:18,051 --> 00:17:22,541
'Gonna zoom up the new motorway
and never come back.
256
00:17:22,576 --> 00:17:27,032
'It's all planned, it's all ours
and it's all perfect. '
257
00:17:33,004 --> 00:17:38,025
Sandra's been riding Hairy Neddy like a
good 'un. Remember the noises we heard.
258
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:46,060
She didn't seem to like it much, all that crying.
You don't know, do you? Yeah, I do... What?
259
00:17:46,095 --> 00:17:52,032
How people do it, make babies. Yeah,
I do. They get married and then...
260
00:17:53,056 --> 00:17:55,004
Bog off!
261
00:17:57,044 --> 00:18:02,049
Ugh, you're lying. Your mum and dad
have done it. No, they haven't.
262
00:18:02,084 --> 00:18:10,076
It's different in India, with tubes and an operation.
Everyone does it. Your mum and dad do it a lot.
263
00:18:21,048 --> 00:18:25,973
"The Cathy And Claire Problem Page,
Jackie Magazine, London.
264
00:18:26,008 --> 00:18:33,020
"Dear Cathy and Claire, My mama, mum,
is having a baby, and no-one told me,
265
00:18:33,055 --> 00:18:37,071
"even though they are always
on at me to tell the truth.
266
00:18:37,106 --> 00:18:41,053
"Also, although I have nice hair
like... Dusty Springfield,
267
00:18:41,088 --> 00:18:49,008
"I'm also coloured... " 'No. ' "I am brown.
Will this stop me getting a guy... ever?
268
00:18:49,043 --> 00:18:51,029
"Love, Confused of Tollington.
269
00:18:51,064 --> 00:18:56,033
Thanks for the article on
how to attract boys with Morse code.
270
00:18:56,068 --> 00:19:03,024
"It has enabled me to contact our local
monster, which has proved very useful. "
271
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:06,064
'Dear... yeti... how... are... you?
272
00:19:06,099 --> 00:19:09,981
'We... are... fine.
273
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:13,020
'Please... don't... eat... us.
274
00:19:13,055 --> 00:19:16,040
'Love... the... wenches. '
275
00:19:18,056 --> 00:19:25,534
'Uncle Alan says we must remember that people are
born good. Papa thinks we are the choices we make.
276
00:19:25,569 --> 00:19:33,012
'Auntie Shaila reckons anyone whose eyebrows
meet in the middle will murder you for a shilling.
277
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:39,033
'Why do things that are bad for you make
you feel great, like sweets and swearing?
278
00:19:39,068 --> 00:19:46,076
'I asked Uncle Alan what the hardest part of being
good was. He said turning the other cheek. ' Hi, Hairy.
279
00:19:46,111 --> 00:19:51,044
Yeah?I mean, Neddy. Hi. Can we
talk to you about the new motorway?
280
00:19:51,079 --> 00:19:55,013
Er...
Right through good farming land.
281
00:19:55,048 --> 00:20:02,020
They're bringing us pollution instead of
jobs. The fat cats ignoring the common man.
282
00:20:02,055 --> 00:20:08,016
Yeah, but it means I'll get to Birmingham
in half an hour, which is brilliant.
283
00:20:08,051 --> 00:20:11,981
Wanna play the Moseley Palladium.
Neddy Young...
284
00:20:12,016 --> 00:20:19,056
Here, I've got a 34" inside leg
- should be big enough to hold your organ.
285
00:20:19,091 --> 00:20:23,036
Thanks for your time.
.. Meena, the Lowbridges.
286
00:20:23,071 --> 00:20:27,036
THEY CHANT "Go away, motorway!"
287
00:20:29,088 --> 00:20:34,056
Hiya, Sam. Can we talk to you
about the new motorway?
288
00:20:34,091 --> 00:20:39,016
All right, chick?
Come in. Fancy a cider, fag?
289
00:20:41,064 --> 00:20:44,049
Eh-up, lads, it's the god squad!
No, Sam.
290
00:20:44,084 --> 00:20:50,020
This is about saving this village,
so that lads like you have a future.
291
00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:54,021
You deserve better than this.
Tell you what.
292
00:20:54,056 --> 00:21:01,060
The sooner this shithole shuts down, gets rid of all
the hairy rockers and old biddies smelling of piss...
293
00:21:01,095 --> 00:21:06,092
and the, er... rest of the rubbish,
the better.
294
00:21:06,127 --> 00:21:10,084
Oh, yeah,
and, remember, Jesus loves you!
295
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:16,005
If you like... Right!
296
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,040
"Go away, motorway!"
297
00:21:19,075 --> 00:21:22,055
This is the one, kids.
298
00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:25,001
I can feel it in my bones.
299
00:21:25,036 --> 00:21:28,005
You don't own me.
I could burn me bra!
300
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:32,080
Give us some warning in case
the village burns down, you fat cow!
301
00:21:32,115 --> 00:21:36,020
You low bastard!
Mummy!
302
00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:40,021
Right, next house... Coming, Meena?
303
00:21:40,056 --> 00:21:45,016
The fair's come.
They're putting it up now. Yeah!
304
00:21:45,051 --> 00:21:48,052
Sorry, Uncle Alan.
305
00:21:51,056 --> 00:21:52,965
Meena.
306
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:58,014
I don't like those girls. They'm
putting a fair up. Everyone's goin'.
307
00:21:58,049 --> 00:22:03,052
"They'm"? And the word is "going".
Do you know what day it is?Diwali.
308
00:22:03,087 --> 00:22:08,021
The festival of light, when Rama
came... Do you know what it means?
309
00:22:08,056 --> 00:22:14,064
You don't get presents like you do at
Christmas. Presents? That's what life is.
310
00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:19,088
This "it's my life" stupidity. "I
gotta go to the bingo" selfishness.
311
00:22:19,123 --> 00:22:23,565
"You kids eat crisps
instead of hot food" nonsense.
312
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:28,008
Meena, we all have obligations.
No-one is born alone.
313
00:22:28,043 --> 00:22:32,013
Have you finished your homework?
Yes, Mama.
314
00:22:32,048 --> 00:22:37,088
You can go for five minutes. Change
your clothes first. Oh, no! Please!
315
00:22:41,024 --> 00:22:45,530
And a letter arrived for you.
Who have you been writing to?
316
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:50,036
"Dear Confused from Tollington,
Growing up is a difficult gig.
317
00:22:50,071 --> 00:22:53,973
"Why not help your mum
when the new baby arrives?
318
00:22:54,008 --> 00:22:59,012
"As for getting guys, always smile.
Guys won't date a grumpy girl.
319
00:22:59,047 --> 00:23:00,029
"And look at Michael Jackson.
320
00:23:00,064 --> 00:23:02,985
"He loves his colour, and so should
you. "
321
00:23:03,020 --> 00:23:10,042
"It's important to love who you are and learn
how to apply lip liner, love Cathy and Claire. "
322
00:23:10,077 --> 00:23:17,064
Hi, Meena. Hi, Nita. It's our Christmas today. We
can see that. Did Santa bring you those pyjamas?
323
00:23:17,099 --> 00:23:21,017
They're not pyjamas, lard-arse.
Piss off!
324
00:23:21,052 --> 00:23:26,044
That really suits you, Nita. You've
got a Marianne Faithfull lip line.
325
00:23:26,079 --> 00:23:31,048
Me and Nita did this Jackie quiz -
"How hot are you with boys?"
326
00:23:31,083 --> 00:23:34,037
She was "steamy". I was "sizzling".
327
00:23:34,072 --> 00:23:38,021
I did that quiz.
I was a "red-hot mama".
328
00:23:38,056 --> 00:23:43,040
Them lads are watching us.
.. Hey, bingo, girls.
329
00:23:43,075 --> 00:23:46,048
I'm having the tall one, right?
330
00:23:49,036 --> 00:23:53,040
'In Jackie, it says you're supposed to
play hard to get and say you like football.
331
00:23:53,075 --> 00:23:58,061
'Oh, yeah, and tell him he smells
nice, even if he doesn't. '
332
00:23:58,096 --> 00:24:03,070
What did he say?He says
he wants to shag the arse off me.
333
00:24:03,105 --> 00:24:08,044
Meena, do you know what that means?
"Shag the arse off you"?
334
00:24:08,079 --> 00:24:12,020
It means he really, really loves me.
335
00:24:16,072 --> 00:24:18,072
Come on.
336
00:24:21,084 --> 00:24:24,020
Hello, gorgeous.
337
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,017
# Helter skelter
338
00:24:27,052 --> 00:24:29,973
# Maybe I can help her
339
00:24:30,008 --> 00:24:35,012
# Dance, dance, dance the night away
Oo-ee-oo-ee-oo! #
340
00:24:35,047 --> 00:24:38,965
No chance, chick.
He don't do charity work.
341
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:43,076
#.. She's the only one who
makes me wanna rock and roll... #
342
00:24:43,111 --> 00:24:49,008
FEMALE LAUGHTER
Hello, Meena. Happy Diwali, beti.
343
00:24:49,043 --> 00:24:51,009
At Diwali, you must make a wish.
344
00:24:51,044 --> 00:24:54,566
I wish I was called Sharon
and had blonde hair.
345
00:24:54,601 --> 00:24:58,088
"They are salwaar kameez,
which we wear in the day.
346
00:24:58,123 --> 00:25:02,068
"You are wearing a hippy-dippy
cheesecloth rag
347
00:25:02,103 --> 00:25:04,001
"that we wrap cows in.
348
00:25:04,036 --> 00:25:08,088
"You've lost your face under make-up
and you think Ilook funny?"
349
00:25:08,123 --> 00:25:11,001
They've got some strange habits.
350
00:25:11,036 --> 00:25:14,060
They sit in their own dirt
and call it a bath.
351
00:25:14,095 --> 00:25:17,001
And the way they wash their dishes,
352
00:25:17,036 --> 00:25:20,076
not in running water, in soap,
no rinsing!
353
00:25:20,111 --> 00:25:22,061
They charge elder children rent.
354
00:25:22,096 --> 00:25:26,040
I've heard this, too.
They treat their pets better.
355
00:25:26,075 --> 00:25:29,009
The woman next door kisses her
doggy.
356
00:25:29,044 --> 00:25:34,041
More than she does with her husband,
who's gone, by the way. Gone? Where?
357
00:25:34,076 --> 00:25:42,000
Gone. This man called Kenneth, who wears tank tops
and those "show everything" trousers, has moved in.
358
00:25:42,035 --> 00:25:47,000
The other night,
this Kenneth person turned up...
359
00:25:48,008 --> 00:25:52,004
Meena, beti,
take some nibbles through.
360
00:25:52,039 --> 00:25:54,028
Go on... Go on!
361
00:25:55,044 --> 00:26:02,040
There I was at Paddington Station, £5 in my pocket,
nowhere to sleep, then I heard somebody shout...
362
00:26:02,075 --> 00:26:05,017
HE SPEAKS PUNJABI
It was me!
363
00:26:05,052 --> 00:26:08,029
It was him.
It was the first time we met.
364
00:26:08,064 --> 00:26:16,024
I thought, "Save him from knocking on a door
- 'no blacks, no Irish, no dogs'." I said, "That means us".
365
00:26:16,059 --> 00:26:22,028
He said, "We're blacks?" I said...
"Woof! Woof! Woof!" Woof! Woof! Woof!
366
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:32,056
Amman, you saved me. From the girlie in
the catsuit. She was just being friendly.
367
00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:36,036
They're all friendly, till you want
to meet their family...
368
00:26:38,056 --> 00:26:42,008
Meena, go and play in the kids'
room.
369
00:26:42,043 --> 00:26:44,056
SHE TUTS
Bog off, you two!
370
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,965
APPLAUSE
So clever.
371
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,985
Such a clever beta you are.
372
00:27:23,020 --> 00:27:26,012
- Two times table. You must be proud.
- Taka!
373
00:27:39,056 --> 00:27:43,020
Come here, Baby. So proud of you.
374
00:27:43,055 --> 00:27:45,549
Meena also has many skills.
375
00:27:45,584 --> 00:27:48,009
Meena, do something clever.
376
00:27:48,044 --> 00:27:54,064
I can read you a story I'm sending to
Jackie Magazine. Story? Very unusual.
377
00:27:56,052 --> 00:28:03,037
"Web Of Dreams by Meena Kumar. Shantal was a
looker with long, shapely legs and dreamy eyes.
378
00:28:03,072 --> 00:28:11,012
"The first time she saw Brett Clifton, she knew
she fancied him like mad. " Meena! How about a song?
379
00:28:11,047 --> 00:28:14,529
What about the Punjabi one we know?
380
00:28:14,564 --> 00:28:18,012
Oh, come on, Meena.
Come on, Meena.
381
00:28:30,004 --> 00:28:36,076
She sings Punjabi with a Birmingham accent.
Meena, you must learn how to sing your own songs.
382
00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:42,000
# That's right, that's right
I'm sad and blue
383
00:28:42,035 --> 00:28:44,029
# Cos I can't do the boogaloo
384
00:28:44,064 --> 00:28:48,061
# I'm lost, can't do my thing
That's why I sing, gimme that thing
385
00:28:48,096 --> 00:28:55,084
# Gimme that, gimme that, Gimme, gimme,
gimme that Gimme that thing, gimme that
386
00:28:55,119 --> 00:29:01,044
# Gimme, gimme, gimme that thing
Gimme, gimme, gimme that thing
387
00:29:01,079 --> 00:29:04,072
# Gimme, gimme, gimme that thing! #
388
00:29:09,052 --> 00:29:14,000
That was really, er, groovy.
That was a real jammin'.
389
00:29:14,035 --> 00:29:15,041
Fantastic!
390
00:29:15,076 --> 00:29:19,969
Meena. So sweetly done, so... modern.
391
00:29:20,004 --> 00:29:25,004
Where did you learn this song?
Off the radio. It's my favourite.
392
00:29:25,039 --> 00:29:28,020
I could just shag the arse off it!
393
00:29:28,055 --> 00:29:32,004
- Aggh! No!
- Oh! - Aaeee!
394
00:29:38,016 --> 00:29:42,072
'The whole world's having a party,
except for me.
395
00:29:44,056 --> 00:29:48,056
'Even the yeti's
come out of the woods again,
396
00:29:48,091 --> 00:29:51,008
'to dance to Papa's music.
397
00:29:52,004 --> 00:29:56,060
'Maybe Punjabi and yeti language
are very similar.
398
00:29:58,024 --> 00:30:02,020
'If he can have fun, so can I.'
399
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,016
# Ye-e-eah!
400
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,009
# Ye-e-eah!
401
00:30:21,044 --> 00:30:24,068
# I can tell that you've been hurt
402
00:30:24,103 --> 00:30:27,057
# By that look on your face, girl
403
00:30:27,092 --> 00:30:31,993
# Some guy brought safety
to your happy world
404
00:30:32,028 --> 00:30:37,026
# You need love but you're afraid
that if you give in
405
00:30:37,061 --> 00:30:42,024
# Someone else will come along
and sock it to you again
406
00:30:42,059 --> 00:30:46,547
# One bad apple
don't spoil the whole bunch, girl
407
00:30:46,582 --> 00:30:51,301
# Oh, give it one more try
before you give up on love
408
00:30:51,336 --> 00:30:55,985
# One bad apple
don't spoil the whole bunch, girl
409
00:30:56,020 --> 00:31:01,028
# I don't care what they say
I don't care what you heard
410
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:13,965
# I could make you happy, baby
Satisfy you too... #
411
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:19,024
Did you see that bundle over by the
big wheel? I'm shaking. Look at me.
412
00:31:19,059 --> 00:31:22,028
Bag of nerves... Fancy a chip?
413
00:31:22,063 --> 00:31:23,013
Cheers.
414
00:31:23,048 --> 00:31:29,012
Ray's gonna give me a free ride.
Oh, yeah?.. Room for one more, Ray?
415
00:31:29,047 --> 00:31:34,012
#.. One bad apple don't spoil
the whole bunch, girl... #
416
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,049
Yes!
417
00:31:42,084 --> 00:31:50,032
Did you all beat up Hairy Neddy? Don't like rockers.
You a mod then? Don't like mods. Who DO you like?
418
00:31:50,067 --> 00:31:53,048
Nosy little wenches
who talk too much.
419
00:31:55,044 --> 00:31:56,096
Here you are.
420
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,013
'This is the first time
I've held a gun.
421
00:32:03,048 --> 00:32:07,524
'It's the first time
a boy's put his arm around me.
422
00:32:07,559 --> 00:32:12,000
'I should tell him he smells nice,
but he doesn't. '
423
00:32:14,028 --> 00:32:17,056
# I'm sitting in the back porch
424
00:32:17,091 --> 00:32:20,084
# On the northwest side of town
425
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:27,546
# You should have lost her way up in the
city Where they shot my baby down... #
426
00:32:27,581 --> 00:32:34,012
Let's go find Ray. No! He said he'd
show us his caravan. I know where it is.
427
00:32:34,047 --> 00:32:39,008
I've thought of something better.
Let's go to the den. At night?
428
00:32:39,043 --> 00:32:44,032
What about the yeti?
Anita, are you a wench or what?
429
00:32:49,032 --> 00:32:51,973
Come on, the yeti's gonna get us!
430
00:32:52,008 --> 00:32:58,024
How-ow-owl!Bog off! He won't
get me. It's our Christmas today.
431
00:33:02,064 --> 00:33:08,000
Are these yours?No. Maybe yetis
celebrate Diwali as well.
432
00:33:08,035 --> 00:33:10,053
My diary!
433
00:33:12,072 --> 00:33:15,061
There IS something here! Let's go!
434
00:33:15,096 --> 00:33:22,016
I've gotta find my diary! It's only
a stupid book. It's not stupid, it's...
435
00:33:23,052 --> 00:33:26,008
Nita, wait!
436
00:33:27,008 --> 00:33:29,016
Nita!
437
00:33:52,084 --> 00:33:55,005
'It was magical. It was a miracle.
438
00:33:55,040 --> 00:34:01,052
'It was a waste of time. The one time
I do tell the truth, nobody believes me.
439
00:34:01,087 --> 00:34:05,013
'Mama and Papa will tell me off
for lying... again.
440
00:34:05,048 --> 00:34:10,044
'and go, "You've embarrassed us
in front of our "relatives" and... '
441
00:34:10,079 --> 00:34:12,045
Where's Mum?
442
00:34:16,008 --> 00:34:22,024
Take your bloody shit food and your shit
weather and shove it up your bottoms!
443
00:34:22,059 --> 00:34:28,040
Now, stop it, Mrs Kumar. I know you Asian
ladies have a very low pain threshold.
444
00:34:30,056 --> 00:34:34,552
'My brother was the longest baby
born at New End Hospital.
445
00:34:34,587 --> 00:34:39,013
'Auntie Shaila says it's worth
being ripped in two for a boy.
446
00:34:39,048 --> 00:34:47,024
'Mama and Papa only speak to me to check I've done
my homework. He smells of custard. I hate custard.
447
00:34:47,059 --> 00:34:49,045
'I'm getting hair in strange places.
448
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:54,084
'What if it carries on growing and
I end up looking like a werewolf?
449
00:34:54,119 --> 00:34:58,076
'Not that anyone would notice -
everything's changing.
450
00:35:24,036 --> 00:35:26,096
'The only thing that hasn't changed
is Nita. '
451
00:35:26,131 --> 00:35:30,032
# Baby, baby, baby! #
452
00:35:36,024 --> 00:35:38,036
Aggh!
453
00:35:41,020 --> 00:35:42,061
Oi!
454
00:35:42,096 --> 00:35:45,025
'We spent the whole summer
together. '
455
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:50,025
True love - makes you puke,
doesn't it? Yeah. Bleugh!
456
00:35:50,060 --> 00:35:56,032
'We are the official hard wenches
of the yard. 'Get lost!Ow! I can't.
457
00:35:56,067 --> 00:35:59,965
We're locked out again. Where's Mum?
458
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:04,044
'We're a gang of two.
No room for boys... ever. '
459
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,965
All right, girls?All right, Sam?
460
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:14,002
Cat got your tongue? Same one that
got your hair. Different, in't it?
461
00:36:14,037 --> 00:36:19,004
I'm thinking of having a feather
cut like Lynn in New Seekers. Huh!
462
00:36:26,044 --> 00:36:27,029
Mummy!
463
00:36:27,064 --> 00:36:30,993
You're creasing my blouse.
Is your dad in?No.
464
00:36:31,028 --> 00:36:34,045
I'll not stop long, then.
Here you are. Oh-h!Look.
465
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:42,000
Don't say I don't give you nothing. Hello. He looks
like a woolly rat. I'll woolly rat you! He's not yours.
466
00:36:42,035 --> 00:36:49,064
Every hamster, every goldfish ends belly up with
you. God knows what it'd be like if you had kids.
467
00:36:49,099 --> 00:36:53,037
Shame you did. You what?!
I left school to have you!
468
00:36:53,072 --> 00:36:58,012
No-one's born a mother, Nita.
You'll find that out one day.
469
00:36:58,047 --> 00:37:01,084
Doggy. Do you like him?
I love him. What's he called?
470
00:37:01,119 --> 00:37:03,008
Nigger.
471
00:37:05,012 --> 00:37:06,076
Hello, Nigger.
472
00:37:09,064 --> 00:37:13,000
'Nita never cries.
It's one of her rules.
473
00:37:16,060 --> 00:37:19,064
'But she's stopped laughing
at my jokes. '
474
00:37:19,099 --> 00:37:20,088
Nita!
475
00:37:23,068 --> 00:37:28,080
'It's hard being a talented older
child that never gets the presents.
476
00:37:28,115 --> 00:37:31,072
'It's time WE got what WE deserved. '
477
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,037
Thank you.
478
00:37:36,072 --> 00:37:39,989
Oh, they'm like little dolls,
ain't they?
479
00:37:40,024 --> 00:37:44,040
Like my Julie when she was little,
apart from the hair oil, of course.
480
00:37:44,075 --> 00:37:47,096
Is that special oil
or just chip pan stuff?
481
00:37:47,131 --> 00:37:51,029
Jasmine oil, I think.
Jasmine? Fancy!
482
00:37:51,064 --> 00:37:56,056
No sweets today, Anita Rutter.
She'll share mine, Mrs Ormerod.
483
00:37:56,091 --> 00:38:00,008
Look, we've taken over the fund.
484
00:38:00,043 --> 00:38:02,052
No more African babies!
485
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:08,084
Church Committee executive decision.
Contributions welcome, chick.
486
00:38:08,119 --> 00:38:13,072
Actually, Mrs Ormerod, my mum
wanted some Brillo. Oh, Brillo.
487
00:38:13,107 --> 00:38:18,048
Oh, I wanted to show you
my Julie's latest postcard.
488
00:38:18,083 --> 00:38:21,036
She went to a Greek island, no less.
489
00:38:28,020 --> 00:38:34,080
"Me and Barbara doing what comes
naturally in our favourite place, Lesbos. "
490
00:38:35,088 --> 00:38:37,997
You could buy a pony with this.
491
00:38:38,032 --> 00:38:41,088
It's for you, all of it.
I did it for you, Nita.
492
00:38:41,123 --> 00:38:44,009
Dad will punish us, Meena.
493
00:38:44,044 --> 00:38:47,033
If you tell, you're dead! Get it?
494
00:38:47,068 --> 00:38:51,070
You let your daughter run around
like a wild animal!
495
00:38:51,105 --> 00:38:55,072
She can swear, but she can't speak
one word of Punjabi!
496
00:38:55,107 --> 00:38:58,021
There was no swearing,
just stealing.
497
00:38:58,056 --> 00:39:02,072
We knew you before you came here.
Now you act like the Royal Family!
498
00:39:02,107 --> 00:39:04,985
Let's not bring our Queen into this.
499
00:39:05,020 --> 00:39:12,032
Please, let's calm ourselves. We are none of us seduced
by "maya" as you call it, the illusion of wealth.
500
00:39:15,032 --> 00:39:19,977
What I'm saying is,
we don't care about the money.
501
00:39:20,012 --> 00:39:23,029
Oh, yes, we do, Alan!
We've a leaky church roof to mend.
502
00:39:23,064 --> 00:39:28,001
Over my dead body! You're trying to
take over the church, little Hitler!
503
00:39:28,036 --> 00:39:34,020
Some of our dead husbands fought Hitler, so hippies
like you could swan around in improper trousers.
504
00:39:34,055 --> 00:39:37,049
- Gentlemen, ladies, please...
- At least we're respectable.
505
00:39:37,084 --> 00:39:42,008
We do things the right way. What is
that, big expert You tell me!
506
00:39:42,043 --> 00:39:44,989
Fascist! Heathen!
Show-off!Sweeper! Enough!
507
00:39:45,024 --> 00:39:51,024
Please, I can't bear it. My heart will
burst with anguish. Please stop! Stop!
508
00:39:51,059 --> 00:39:53,080
There's a solution, Mr K.
509
00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:58,058
I've talked to Anita Rutter
just now.
510
00:39:58,093 --> 00:40:01,056
Let's see
if the stories match up, eh?
511
00:40:05,044 --> 00:40:09,012
Remember, Meena, God is watching.
512
00:40:09,047 --> 00:40:11,539
.. My God is, anyway.
513
00:40:11,574 --> 00:40:14,032
Meena? The truth.
514
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:20,005
Mrs Ormerod went into the back
to get a postcard.
515
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:25,076
Pinky grabbed the tin
and hid it down Baby's bib, honest!
516
00:40:35,064 --> 00:40:39,080
Seems I owe you an apology, Meena.
517
00:40:40,096 --> 00:40:43,000
Hia ram.
518
00:40:46,008 --> 00:40:50,060
What next? Boyfriends, babies, pot?
519
00:40:50,095 --> 00:40:55,005
Do you remember who you are?!
Shaila, easy, easy.
520
00:40:55,040 --> 00:41:00,044
Don't be too hard on them. There
isn't anything missing. I checked.
521
00:41:02,068 --> 00:41:04,052
Satisfied?
522
00:41:05,048 --> 00:41:07,969
I'm so sorry.
523
00:41:08,004 --> 00:41:12,013
Auntie Shaila has been my best
friend since I was your age, Meena.
524
00:41:12,048 --> 00:41:18,060
She chose my wedding sari, she fed me when
my papa died, she held my hand when I had you.
525
00:41:18,095 --> 00:41:24,072
Is Anita going to hold your hand when the
dark days come? Is she? Leave her. It's done.
526
00:41:26,024 --> 00:41:31,048
You are not to see that girl again,
understand? Yes, Mama.
527
00:41:32,092 --> 00:41:37,096
'I have sent a note to Nita to tell
her the terrible news about the ban.
528
00:41:37,131 --> 00:41:41,017
'It's the hardest thing
I've ever had to write,
529
00:41:41,052 --> 00:41:46,032
'and when she reads it, she's gonna
feel like me, chopped in half. '
530
00:41:46,067 --> 00:41:49,020
PARENTS ARGUE DOWNSTAIRS
531
00:41:58,068 --> 00:42:03,092
'It's not fair. We're both under
the same sky, but so far apart.
532
00:42:03,127 --> 00:42:06,076
'Even the yeti's abandoned me.
533
00:42:06,111 --> 00:42:09,013
'Can life get any worse?
534
00:42:09,048 --> 00:42:14,004
'Well, it can. Not only am I wearing
pink and green together... ' Meena!
535
00:42:14,039 --> 00:42:20,008
'.. but Mama's decided I need saving
and is taking me to a temple. '
536
00:42:22,092 --> 00:42:25,020
Put the other bit on.
537
00:42:26,052 --> 00:42:33,056
'She's only just passed her test.
I'd better start praying now. '
538
00:42:47,008 --> 00:42:52,008
Meena, get out of the car and tell
everybody to move back. No, Mama...
539
00:42:52,043 --> 00:42:57,041
Meena, do it now! Please!OK?
Meena! It's so embarrassing!
540
00:42:57,076 --> 00:43:03,080
'You know people have nightmares
about walking around naked?'
541
00:43:03,115 --> 00:43:07,040
Sorry, my mum's rolling back.
Could you...?
542
00:43:08,076 --> 00:43:13,064
'In my nightmares, I'm always
dressed exactly like this. '
543
00:43:19,064 --> 00:43:21,033
Ta.
544
00:43:21,068 --> 00:43:23,032
Bosting, mate.
545
00:43:30,060 --> 00:43:34,016
Er, sorry, er... move back.
546
00:43:35,028 --> 00:43:38,044
Er... Uncle.
547
00:43:42,028 --> 00:43:44,965
'It's going very well.
548
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:49,534
'I've impressed everyone on
that bus. This is a piece of cake. '
549
00:43:49,569 --> 00:43:54,033
HORNS BEEP Sorry, missus. My
mum's rolling back. Could you...?
550
00:43:54,068 --> 00:44:00,072
Stupid wogs! Should stick to donkeys,
shouldn't you? Stupid bloody wogs!
551
00:44:15,048 --> 00:44:22,028
'I had lots of questions ready to ask God, but once
I got there, I couldn't remember a single one. '
552
00:44:22,063 --> 00:44:23,981
Meena.
553
00:44:24,016 --> 00:44:29,020
'And, anyway, I didn't think Iwas
the one who needed saving any more. '
554
00:44:29,055 --> 00:44:31,068
Meena, take this.
555
00:44:46,072 --> 00:44:48,989
That could be you in September.
556
00:44:49,024 --> 00:44:53,017
Such a good school,
they even teach you fishing.
557
00:44:53,052 --> 00:44:57,989
It's lacrosse. Well, French isn't
important. Sciences are better.
558
00:44:58,024 --> 00:45:03,076
But I'm good at English. Beti, all
Indians are, but it's nice to have a hobby.
559
00:45:03,111 --> 00:45:08,056
Mama, what if I don't get in?
Of course you will.
560
00:45:08,091 --> 00:45:12,052
That's why we left everything
and came here.
561
00:45:12,087 --> 00:45:14,969
No pressure, beti.
562
00:45:15,004 --> 00:45:20,076
'I've realised I now have enough pain
to create something truly bosting,
563
00:45:20,111 --> 00:45:24,057
'so I've started writing
professionally.
564
00:45:24,092 --> 00:45:28,004
'My pen name will be
Sharon de Beauvoir.
565
00:45:32,076 --> 00:45:35,005
'I may not have consumption... yet,
566
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:40,026
'but like all the great writers,
I am lonely and different. '
567
00:45:40,061 --> 00:45:45,054
Why don't we have flowers in
our garden or a fountain or gnomes?
568
00:45:45,089 --> 00:45:50,048
Because this isn't an amusement
park - it's earth, it's alive.
569
00:45:50,083 --> 00:45:53,981
We can eat everything
that grows here.
570
00:45:54,016 --> 00:45:58,088
Where I grew up, I pulled sugar cane
from the fields for my breakfast,
571
00:45:58,123 --> 00:46:02,989
and squirted milk
straight from the goat into my tea.
572
00:46:03,024 --> 00:46:07,080
We had a cobra under the peepul
tree and peacocks on the roof.
573
00:46:07,115 --> 00:46:09,989
A cobra? Peacocks?
574
00:46:10,024 --> 00:46:15,096
We were a bad combination back there,
too much brain and no rich parents.
575
00:46:15,131 --> 00:46:21,064
At least here there are no bribes
to pay to get by and no peacocks.
576
00:46:34,056 --> 00:46:38,049
All right, Mrs K?Yes, fine,
Mrs Rutter. You scared me.
577
00:46:38,084 --> 00:46:45,088
Lovely weather, eh?Yes. I suppose you're used to
it, coming from Pakistan. India. We're from India.
578
00:46:45,123 --> 00:46:51,080
Anyway, please excuse me. I was wanting
a word with you, actually, about Anita.
579
00:46:51,115 --> 00:46:56,041
Have you stopped your Meena
from playing with her?Well...
580
00:46:56,076 --> 00:47:01,045
children change friends sometimes,
it's nothing to worry about.
581
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:08,056
Are we not good enough for you? Is that what you
think?Anita's welcome at our house any time, Mrs Rutter.
582
00:47:08,091 --> 00:47:14,056
Yeah, well, that's OK, then, cos,
see, my Nita, she might act tough,
583
00:47:14,091 --> 00:47:18,973
but they all need their mates,
don't they?Yes, they do.
584
00:47:19,008 --> 00:47:24,036
See, we can only do... we can
only do our best, us women, eh?
585
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:30,096
Tough tits, though, in't it?
Very tough... tits, yes.
586
00:47:30,131 --> 00:47:33,004
Right.
587
00:47:37,088 --> 00:47:43,076
# You've painted up your lips and rolled and
curled your tinted hair... #Go away, go! Go!
588
00:47:46,084 --> 00:47:50,096
# Ruby, are you contemplating
going out somewhere?
589
00:47:54,028 --> 00:47:58,072
# The shadow on the wall tells me
the sun is going down
590
00:48:04,092 --> 00:48:06,096
# Ruby... #
591
00:48:09,016 --> 00:48:13,020
"I have to find some happiness before
I get too old and everything sags.
592
00:48:13,055 --> 00:48:16,004
"I love you - Mum. "
593
00:48:17,008 --> 00:48:19,057
Is that it?
594
00:48:19,092 --> 00:48:22,048
She spelt "happiness" with one "p".
595
00:48:24,072 --> 00:48:26,017
Sorry, Mama.
596
00:48:26,052 --> 00:48:29,008
I know I'm not supposed to see them.
597
00:48:30,052 --> 00:48:34,052
'Anita's mum has gone off with a
butcher called the King Of Sausages,
598
00:48:34,087 --> 00:48:37,993
'leaving Nita's dad
to look after her and Tracy. '
599
00:48:38,028 --> 00:48:43,096
This is only because the girls have no
mother. Yes, Mama. Thanks, Mama. KNOCK ON DOOR
600
00:48:43,131 --> 00:48:46,060
'Guess who's coming to dinner!'
601
00:48:46,095 --> 00:48:49,008
Hi, Nita, wench.
602
00:48:50,056 --> 00:48:52,993
Are you wearing blusher?I might be.
603
00:48:53,028 --> 00:48:58,088
Hello, Anita, darling. Where is Stacey?
Our Tracy didn't want to come. Oh, OK.
604
00:48:58,123 --> 00:49:03,096
I don't know where Papa is. Take
Anita through to the dining room.
605
00:49:09,043 --> 00:49:10,981
Daljit.
606
00:49:11,016 --> 00:49:14,029
My wife, Daljit.
607
00:49:14,064 --> 00:49:18,013
We saw you working on the motorway.
608
00:49:18,048 --> 00:49:25,044
I met your sister, is it
- Shaila? Is she here?No, we haven't seen Shaila for a while.
609
00:49:30,076 --> 00:49:33,009
Please stay. I'll come another time.
610
00:49:33,044 --> 00:49:37,560
What happens if you're not hungry?
You're in big trouble.
611
00:49:37,595 --> 00:49:42,076
What's that?We call it
matar paneer. It's cheese with peas.
612
00:49:42,111 --> 00:49:46,080
Cheese and peas... together?
Go on. Try it.
613
00:49:46,115 --> 00:49:49,997
Now, this is bhoona chicken.
614
00:49:50,032 --> 00:49:54,080
You've had chicken before, haven't
you?What's that stuff round it?
615
00:49:54,115 --> 00:49:55,601
It's, er...
616
00:49:55,636 --> 00:49:57,053
Daljit?
617
00:49:57,088 --> 00:50:01,084
Gravy. Tomatoes, onions, garlic...
What's garlic?
618
00:50:09,020 --> 00:50:11,969
Uh! Ain't you got knives and forks?
619
00:50:12,004 --> 00:50:16,985
In all the top restaurants, this is
how they eat, with their fingers.
620
00:50:17,020 --> 00:50:23,514
Only common people use knives and forks.
Honest?Oh, yes. Cutlery's square now in London.
621
00:50:23,549 --> 00:50:30,008
'And so, it finally happened. Anita and me
broke bread together. Well, fishfingers anyway. '
622
00:50:30,043 --> 00:50:32,049
Bwwrrp!God!Darling!
623
00:50:32,084 --> 00:50:37,000
You know, there are some places in
the world where if you do a burp,
624
00:50:37,035 --> 00:50:39,064
it shows you've really enjoyed the
meal.
625
00:50:39,099 --> 00:50:42,012
Absolutely. It's a compliment.
626
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,000
Bwwwrrp!You're welcome, Anita.
627
00:50:53,060 --> 00:50:55,965
So, what have you been up to, then?
628
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:59,064
Nothing.
Have you been down to the den?
629
00:51:02,016 --> 00:51:03,096
So, what do you wanna do now?
630
00:51:05,064 --> 00:51:07,048
Have you heard from your mum?
631
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:16,096
Oh, them are, um... This is bosting stuff. This
would make a fab mini dress if you cut the bottom off.
632
00:51:16,131 --> 00:51:22,036
Oh, look at these. Better than Fat
Sally's poxy Biba scarves. Can I? Yeah.
633
00:51:24,088 --> 00:51:27,981
What happened?What do you think?
634
00:51:28,016 --> 00:51:32,044
Does it hurt? It's supposed to.
I hope you hit him back.
635
00:51:32,079 --> 00:51:37,052
Soft cow.
I gotta go. Nita, don't.
636
00:51:38,048 --> 00:51:43,004
I do love you, you know. Geroff!
Are you a lessie or summat?
637
00:51:46,056 --> 00:51:50,080
It's just... someone's
waiting for me. Can I come?
638
00:51:50,115 --> 00:51:53,024
No, not this time, wench.
639
00:51:55,052 --> 00:51:58,049
Absolutely wonderful evening.
640
00:51:58,084 --> 00:52:04,020
I will come again. You HAVE to
come again. .. Goodnight, Anita.
641
00:52:04,055 --> 00:52:06,061
I'll be back.
OK.
642
00:52:06,096 --> 00:52:10,969
'Anita coming round to dinner
last night changed our luck.
643
00:52:11,004 --> 00:52:15,036
'Papa got news of his promotion and
he celebrated in the usual way... '
644
00:52:16,056 --> 00:52:18,080
Bugger!'.. by making a mess.
645
00:52:19,088 --> 00:52:25,076
'We'd all been wishing for things to
change, and they did, in an instant. '
646
00:52:25,111 --> 00:52:28,020
Have you seen this?
647
00:52:35,052 --> 00:52:37,056
Daljit.
648
00:52:38,060 --> 00:52:41,012
Daljit!
649
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:58,028
Every time I see you,
I end up wanting to say sorry,
650
00:52:58,063 --> 00:53:00,084
but it's not enough.
651
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:04,001
Is it, Meena, chick?
652
00:53:09,076 --> 00:53:13,013
I work all day next to these people,
teach their children!
653
00:53:13,048 --> 00:53:18,048
Don't you understand that I can't
live like this?I do understand.
654
00:53:18,083 --> 00:53:22,052
I'm too tired.
655
00:53:42,072 --> 00:53:45,028
It IS the same sky, isn't it?
656
00:53:46,024 --> 00:53:51,096
My mother, my two sisters,
my cousin's brothers, servants.
657
00:53:51,131 --> 00:53:54,060
We had servants to help.
658
00:53:59,004 --> 00:54:02,008
They left him in a ditch like a dog.
659
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:14,548
I'd die without you.
660
00:54:14,583 --> 00:54:17,056
Don't do this to me.
661
00:54:17,091 --> 00:54:19,989
I'm here.
662
00:54:20,024 --> 00:54:22,072
I'm just so tired.
663
00:54:23,068 --> 00:54:26,024
It IS the same sky, isn't it, Shyam?
664
00:54:40,024 --> 00:54:46,080
My grandmother has lived in a small Indian village
the whole of her life, until two months ago.
665
00:54:46,115 --> 00:54:50,057
'We call her "Nanima"
and she's my mum's mum.
666
00:54:50,092 --> 00:54:55,080
'She looks like my mum, except
she's browner and more creased.
667
00:54:56,080 --> 00:55:04,004
'Because Nanima is SO special, she's even brought
Mama and Auntie Shaila back together, unfortunately.
668
00:55:07,096 --> 00:55:12,080
'Mama says when Nanima was a girl,
she looked just like me.
669
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:17,977
'After all the pretend relatives,
finally a real one.
670
00:55:18,012 --> 00:55:23,000
'She hasn't even pinched my cheek
yet. This is a very good sign. '
671
00:55:23,035 --> 00:55:28,021
OK, everybody. Say "paneer".
Cheese!
672
00:55:28,056 --> 00:55:35,000
'In India, old people are considered
very special and very wise. '
673
00:55:35,035 --> 00:55:36,969
Slurp!
674
00:55:37,004 --> 00:55:40,512
'She doesn't say much,
or speak any English,
675
00:55:40,547 --> 00:55:44,020
'but somehow we all
understand her perfectly. '
676
00:55:44,055 --> 00:55:46,028
Thwrrp!Ha-ha!
677
00:55:47,048 --> 00:55:52,057
'Nanima's also helped my mum a
lot with my brother. '
678
00:55:52,092 --> 00:55:59,005
'Sunil is eating a lot better and
has finally learnt to share his food!
679
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:07,004
'Nanima seems to have got used to Tollington,
probably because she comes from a village too. '
680
00:56:10,020 --> 00:56:14,989
It is fun having her around and
I hope she stays for a long time.
681
00:56:15,024 --> 00:56:22,076
Right, Meena. But you did know this week's essay
was "My Best Friend" and not "My Best Granny"?
682
00:56:26,060 --> 00:56:33,024
You never say when my work is good, Mrs
Rowbottom. Why not? Don't you like me?
683
00:56:33,059 --> 00:56:36,000
Now don't be silly. Sit down.
684
00:56:49,096 --> 00:56:51,040
It was good, Meena.
685
00:56:54,048 --> 00:57:01,526
The five "k"s of the Sikhs are
kangha, kara, kesh, kachh, and...
686
00:57:01,561 --> 00:57:09,004
Brought the rest of the family
over?My nan's here... on holiday.
687
00:57:09,039 --> 00:57:13,012
On holiday, in Tollington?
That's a good 'un.
688
00:57:14,064 --> 00:57:19,076
First time I've got you on your own,
without Nita. I'm not on my own.
689
00:57:21,096 --> 00:57:24,016
Come out the way, Sam.
690
00:57:26,024 --> 00:57:28,540
Shit! Jesus Christ!
691
00:57:34,064 --> 00:57:38,080
Oh, yeah.
The fifth "k" - kirpan, dagger.
692
00:57:38,115 --> 00:57:41,064
Oi!
Leave it.
693
00:57:42,076 --> 00:57:49,080
Oh, is this your nan, Meena, chick? I
heard she was coming over. Yes, Mrs Ormerod.
694
00:57:49,115 --> 00:57:54,064
Welcome to England.
Not too cold for you here, I hope.
695
00:57:57,028 --> 00:58:02,024
Does she speak English, cos your mum
and dad speak it lovely, don't they?
696
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:11,084
She speaks four languages fluently
AND she does kung fu.
697
00:58:11,119 --> 00:58:15,088
You should bring her
to the village fete tomorrow. Fete!
698
00:58:15,123 --> 00:58:20,096
The fete!
It's traditional... round here.
699
00:58:29,028 --> 00:58:33,042
I like your songs, Nanima.
They're like my stories.
700
00:58:33,077 --> 00:58:37,056
They fill up a hole somewhere,
like after a big dinner.
701
00:58:41,084 --> 00:58:44,005
Nita's my best friend.
702
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:49,044
She's been a bit busy at the moment
but she said she'd like to meet you.
703
00:58:49,079 --> 00:58:53,048
Can you tell me a story, Nanima...
about India?
704
00:59:01,032 --> 00:59:04,969
'The fete was just the same
as it always was.
705
00:59:05,004 --> 00:59:10,025
'As usual, Carl Rowbottom
had the only wash he gets all year,
706
00:59:10,060 --> 00:59:15,064
'As usual, Papa won at the tombola,
but wasn't impressed with his prize.
707
00:59:16,092 --> 00:59:22,037
'Nanima got into the spirit of the occasion
and her English is coming on nicely. 'Shut up!
708
00:59:22,072 --> 00:59:29,020
'Sandy tried to flog her stuffed toys which looked
like they'd been in a car crash. ' A... rhinoceros.
709
00:59:29,055 --> 00:59:34,041
The devil's beasts. Gross mutations
of our Lord's wondrous creatures.
710
00:59:34,076 --> 00:59:42,076
'The toys weren't all Sandy had been stuffing. 'Gonna
buy one before she has the baby, and save us from hell?
711
00:59:42,111 --> 00:59:46,997
'And, finally, there was the reason
Ibothered to turn up. '
712
00:59:47,032 --> 00:59:51,092
Nita, I've been looking for you
everywhere and I called for you.
713
00:59:52,088 --> 00:59:57,092
Do you want a free ride?'That's
when things started going wrong. '
714
00:59:57,127 --> 01:00:02,096
We have managed to raise £40 today,
so give yourselves a big clap.
715
01:00:02,131 --> 01:00:04,000
Woh!
716
01:00:08,084 --> 01:00:10,057
There we go.
717
01:00:10,092 --> 01:00:14,076
I know you have questions...
Who's getting the money?
718
01:00:20,064 --> 01:00:22,061
It's him. It is.
719
01:00:22,096 --> 01:00:29,092
OK, OK, well, as you know, the Babies
For Africa appeal began this year...
720
01:00:33,048 --> 01:00:35,057
Right.
721
01:00:35,092 --> 01:00:38,009
As head of the committee,
722
01:00:38,044 --> 01:00:44,048
we've decided that this year's takings go
to the Tollington Methodist Church Roof Fund.
723
01:00:44,083 --> 01:00:47,000
APPLAUSE
724
01:00:48,036 --> 01:00:50,045
Bloody rubbish, the lot of you!
725
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:54,053
Church roof, eh?
What's that gonna do for us?
726
01:00:54,088 --> 01:00:59,057
- We'll meet to decide what to do.
- They'll do nothing but talk, Uncle.
727
01:00:59,092 --> 01:01:07,024
Giving everything away to some darkies we never
met. This is our patch, not a wog's handout.
728
01:01:07,059 --> 01:01:10,989
You shut up, Sam!
You don't speak for me, son!
729
01:01:11,024 --> 01:01:15,040
Shut it, you silly sod.
Dead hard, that Sam Lowbridge.
730
01:01:15,075 --> 01:01:16,969
That's what Nita says!
731
01:01:17,004 --> 01:01:20,076
He's romantic. Last week, he bought
me a fish supper.
732
01:01:20,111 --> 01:01:22,049
When did you start courting?
733
01:01:22,084 --> 01:01:27,033
The night we went Paki-bashing. You
know that Paki from the motorway?
734
01:01:27,068 --> 01:01:33,092
He was at the bus stop in a suit! Dead funny.
I didn't do much. I just held Sam's chips, like.
735
01:01:33,127 --> 01:01:37,969
Stupid Paki didn't do anything back.
He just stood there and took it.
736
01:01:38,004 --> 01:01:45,060
'That night we went Paki-bashing. I just held Sam's
chips, like. He just stood there and took it. '
737
01:01:48,072 --> 01:01:51,004
'Come on!'
738
01:02:03,012 --> 01:02:07,000
And then we kissed,
with tongues and everything. Ugh!
739
01:02:33,020 --> 01:02:39,542
'What's your name? Be my mate.
What's your name? Be my mate.
740
01:02:39,577 --> 01:02:46,064
'What's your name? Be my mate.
What's your name? Be my mate. '
741
01:02:56,084 --> 01:03:00,576
It's just a sprain, Daljit.
She could have been killed, Shyam.
742
01:03:00,611 --> 01:03:05,068
She wouldn't even tell me how it
happened. She's full of secrets.
743
01:03:05,103 --> 01:03:07,973
Why? Is it our fault?
744
01:03:08,008 --> 01:03:12,028
We could find out.
I'm scared of reading that.
745
01:03:12,063 --> 01:03:14,973
It's silly, isn't it?
746
01:03:15,008 --> 01:03:19,080
We might find out that our daughter
wasn't the one that we planned for.
747
01:03:33,092 --> 01:03:37,092
No, mata ghia,
I haven't told her yet.
748
01:03:37,127 --> 01:03:40,044
She will miss you.
749
01:03:46,052 --> 01:03:48,969
Our village was very modern -
750
01:03:49,004 --> 01:03:53,985
electricity, flush toilets,
BBC on the radio.
751
01:03:54,020 --> 01:03:59,024
How come you're speaking English?
Listen. You may learn something.
752
01:03:59,059 --> 01:04:04,016
Did your mama tell you about
the cobra under the peepul tree?
753
01:04:04,051 --> 01:04:06,993
The peacocks?
754
01:04:07,028 --> 01:04:11,057
Did you know I went to school?
I could read and write.
755
01:04:11,092 --> 01:04:16,068
I made your mama go. Never
did we think we were less than men.
756
01:04:16,103 --> 01:04:22,033
Often we were more -
cooking, caring, teaching, fighting.
757
01:04:22,068 --> 01:04:27,036
I bore four children and looked
after ten others in the family.
758
01:04:27,071 --> 01:04:29,037
The land fed us.
759
01:04:29,072 --> 01:04:34,076
Then the English soldiers came
and only stones rained from the sky.
760
01:04:34,111 --> 01:04:39,080
Nothing we owned was ours any more,
not even our names, our breaths.
761
01:04:40,096 --> 01:04:43,056
We lost everything,
762
01:04:43,091 --> 01:04:45,981
and moved to Delhi.
763
01:04:46,016 --> 01:04:48,072
Your mama's schooling spoilt.
764
01:04:49,072 --> 01:04:51,969
We started again.
765
01:04:52,004 --> 01:04:57,076
A rah baba! What is there to fear if
you've already lived so many lives?
766
01:04:57,111 --> 01:05:00,088
And how many more to come, Meena?
767
01:05:02,004 --> 01:05:05,084
How you live them is up to you.
768
01:05:19,084 --> 01:05:22,005
'Nanima left two weeks ago.
769
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:24,061
'She took all her stories with her.
770
01:05:24,096 --> 01:05:31,088
'I don't know if I'll ever see her again, so
I'm revising very hard for my entrance exam,
771
01:05:31,123 --> 01:05:35,036
'and trying to write
a story of my own.
772
01:05:36,076 --> 01:05:41,013
'And now the summer's well and
truly over, I prefer to be at home.
773
01:05:41,048 --> 01:05:47,566
'When I fell from that pony, I stared into the
jaws of death, or should it be the hooves of death?
774
01:05:47,601 --> 01:05:54,084
'Anyway, since then, I have become quite deep.
Spraining my ankle has actually cleared my head.
775
01:05:56,068 --> 01:05:59,985
'And the more I write,
the worse I feel,
776
01:06:00,020 --> 01:06:04,033
'but I have to do it, to keep going,
like everyone else.
777
01:06:04,068 --> 01:06:09,092
'Yes, since my accident, which
I shall call the Sprain of Destiny,
778
01:06:09,127 --> 01:06:12,017
'Ihave finally grown up. '
779
01:06:12,052 --> 01:06:16,057
#.. Nothing gained
Nothing still-born or lost
780
01:06:16,092 --> 01:06:20,066
# Nothing further than proof
Nothing wilder than youth
781
01:06:20,101 --> 01:06:24,052
# Nothing older than time
Nothing sweeter than wine
782
01:06:24,087 --> 01:06:28,067
# Nothing physically, recklessly
hopelessly blind
783
01:06:28,102 --> 01:06:32,048
# Nothing I couldn't say
Nothing why, cos today... #
784
01:06:41,096 --> 01:06:44,009
Good luck for tomorrow, Meena.
785
01:06:44,044 --> 01:06:48,096
Get a good rest tonight.
Almonds and milk. It's brain food.
786
01:06:48,131 --> 01:06:52,008
- Can I put this down now?
- No.
787
01:06:53,008 --> 01:06:59,080
What are you doing?Oh, er, this? Um...
well, radiators increase value of the house.
788
01:06:59,115 --> 01:07:04,068
Queen Elizabeth's is near us. When
you pass, you can be our neighbours.
789
01:07:04,103 --> 01:07:07,061
IF! If I pass!
790
01:07:07,096 --> 01:07:11,021
Ai! When did she learn
to speak Punjabi?
791
01:07:11,056 --> 01:07:16,088
Give a big clap for our
"almost grammar school" girl.
792
01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:23,040
Did she learn from you? No.
793
01:07:23,075 --> 01:07:28,016
Bolo Punjabi!
794
01:07:35,060 --> 01:07:40,542
Now I'm back in Dilruba Coffee
House, my chiffon suit, remember?
795
01:07:40,577 --> 01:07:46,024
It's where your papa read his poems
to your mama and won her heart.
796
01:07:46,059 --> 01:07:47,993
He even published a book.
797
01:07:48,028 --> 01:07:56,040
I was Dehli College champion runner. Your Uncle
Amman, he won prizes for his paintings... Huh?
798
01:07:56,075 --> 01:07:59,571
You kids,
you don't know what we were.
799
01:07:59,606 --> 01:08:03,068
Come on. One last dance
to wish her luck.
800
01:08:03,103 --> 01:08:05,076
Amman!Come on!
801
01:08:24,032 --> 01:08:27,564
Go easy! Easy, easy, easy!
Amman!
802
01:08:27,599 --> 01:08:31,096
Shaila, he'll be fine,
he'll be fine.
803
01:08:31,131 --> 01:08:33,037
Amman!
804
01:08:33,072 --> 01:08:41,000
We'll drop him to the hospital. Call Sandy if
you need anything. Don't open the door to anyone.
805
01:08:42,020 --> 01:08:44,088
SHAILA WAILS
806
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:23,021
A right-angled triangle
is always 90 degrees.
807
01:09:23,056 --> 01:09:28,048
The distance between two railway
tracks is exactly 4 feet, 8½ inches.
808
01:09:28,083 --> 01:09:29,056
Aggh!
809
01:09:31,020 --> 01:09:34,056
Piss off! Leave me alone!
810
01:09:37,028 --> 01:09:40,005
Go away, Tracy...
You've gotta help Nita!
811
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:44,076
I can't... He's in the big house
woods and he's killing her!
812
01:10:02,028 --> 01:10:04,044
There. Down there.
813
01:10:21,008 --> 01:10:21,989
Nita!
814
01:10:22,024 --> 01:10:26,000
Nita! Bog off, Trace!.. I hate you!
815
01:10:27,016 --> 01:10:30,969
You little sod! I'm gonna kill you,
Tracy!Come here!
816
01:10:31,004 --> 01:10:36,001
This ain't your patch any more.
Piss off! Sam's mine. We're engaged.
817
01:10:36,036 --> 01:10:42,068
That's the ring off a Coke can. He's saving up.
Sam's gonna live with me in the flat in London.
818
01:10:42,103 --> 01:10:47,072
There ain't no flat in London, you
pathetic cow! Not yet. Never, Nita.
819
01:10:53,008 --> 01:10:56,989
You're gonna leave me,
just like everybody else.
820
01:10:57,024 --> 01:11:04,056
I hate you! Nita, I'm gonna write about
us. You'll be famous one day, I promise.
821
01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:16,048
That Paki we duffed up. He wasn't
anybody. You're not like the others.
822
01:11:18,028 --> 01:11:21,024
I AM the others!Ow!
823
01:11:21,059 --> 01:11:24,020
Get off me!.. Ow!
824
01:11:24,055 --> 01:11:26,060
Ow!
825
01:11:28,076 --> 01:11:30,068
Aggh!
826
01:12:14,064 --> 01:12:16,060
Nita!
827
01:12:18,092 --> 01:12:21,000
Nita!
828
01:12:22,008 --> 01:12:23,969
Nita!
829
01:12:24,004 --> 01:12:28,052
'I prayed for help, for
the only thing that could save us. '
830
01:12:28,087 --> 01:12:31,064
Aggh! 'And he came.
831
01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:38,096
'The yeti plunged into the bottomless pool,
the water murky with memories and betrayal,
832
01:12:38,131 --> 01:12:44,008
'to save the girl who broke hearts
and couldn't swim. '
833
01:12:53,056 --> 01:12:55,080
Please!
834
01:13:00,004 --> 01:13:03,977
'He handled her lifeless body
like a toy in his huge hands,
835
01:13:04,012 --> 01:13:10,084
'and not sucking her blood, as I'd always
feared, but forcing the life back into her.
836
01:13:10,119 --> 01:13:15,040
'If he hadn't have come,
I wouldn't have believed anything.
837
01:13:15,075 --> 01:13:17,080
'He saved both of us -
838
01:13:17,115 --> 01:13:20,024
'Anita and me. '
839
01:13:23,076 --> 01:13:27,548
That's more like it. Please. Just
one more. It will help you. No!
840
01:13:27,583 --> 01:13:32,020
No more almonds!How will she
remember anything after that shock?
841
01:13:32,055 --> 01:13:36,036
Tell the examiner you're late
because you nearly died, OK?
842
01:13:36,071 --> 01:13:39,985
Tell them you saved someone's life.
It wasn't me.
843
01:13:40,020 --> 01:13:46,032
No more lies... about anything. There's no need. We're so proud of you, whatever happens
- understand?
844
01:13:46,067 --> 01:13:49,020
Ask him if you can keep your hat on.
845
01:13:56,040 --> 01:14:00,009
'I didn't tell anyone about the
yeti. No-one would have believed me.
846
01:14:00,044 --> 01:14:06,020
'The local paper called me a "pint-sized heroine"
- actually it was "pint-sized dusky heroine. "
847
01:14:06,055 --> 01:14:09,037
'I thought the yeti
would like that.
848
01:14:09,072 --> 01:14:15,092
'Everyone said that Anita's recovery was a miracle.
Anita's mum came and took her away for a while. '
849
01:14:15,127 --> 01:14:18,013
Meena, hurry up! We'll be late!
850
01:14:18,048 --> 01:14:25,004
'My exam results come today AND this is the last page
of my diary, so the Sprain of Destiny strikes again.
851
01:14:25,039 --> 01:14:28,535
'Nita is on every page,
but she'll never read it.
852
01:14:28,570 --> 01:14:32,032
'I think that's called irony,
or is it satire?'
853
01:14:34,084 --> 01:14:37,570
ORGAN INTRO TO "Son Of My Father"
854
01:14:37,605 --> 01:14:40,820
This song - isn't it Chicory Tip?
855
01:14:40,855 --> 01:14:44,001
# Gotta have your life
run right... #
856
01:14:44,036 --> 01:14:50,037
We should have waited for the post. It
won't change anything. The die is cast.
857
01:14:50,072 --> 01:14:56,024
I'm not afraid to die. I've been on the
other side. I laugh in the face of danger.
858
01:14:56,059 --> 01:14:57,061
Amman... >
859
01:14:57,096 --> 01:15:00,004
you had chronic indigestion.
860
01:15:01,020 --> 01:15:04,040
You burped in the face of danger!
861
01:15:06,056 --> 01:15:08,053
# Son of my father
862
01:15:08,088 --> 01:15:13,036
# Changing, rearranging
into someone new
863
01:15:13,071 --> 01:15:16,973
# Son of my father
864
01:15:17,008 --> 01:15:21,020
# Collecting and selecting
independent views. #
865
01:15:24,056 --> 01:15:30,050
Christ calls you into union with him
and with one another. I ask you now...
866
01:15:30,085 --> 01:15:36,044
Typical English wedding
- boring, no food, bride up the duff... Shaila!
867
01:15:36,079 --> 01:15:38,061
Which in normal English means -
868
01:15:38,096 --> 01:15:43,013
Nedwell, do you really dig
this glorious woman here?
869
01:15:43,048 --> 01:15:49,000
Does she set your senses on fire, fill you with
the inspiration that makes Dylan write songs,
870
01:15:49,035 --> 01:15:53,028
bring the kind of peace
that could turn bombs into flowers?
871
01:15:53,063 --> 01:15:55,989
- You what?
- Help me out.
872
01:15:56,024 --> 01:16:00,056
- Does she float your boat, man?
- A whole bloody battalion!
873
01:16:00,091 --> 01:16:02,993
Whoo!Whoo!
874
01:16:03,028 --> 01:16:06,012
Meena, sit down!
Shaila, shut up!
875
01:16:08,040 --> 01:16:13,092
Sandy, is Neddy the cream in your coffee, the
riff to your rhythm, the flower in your hair?
876
01:16:13,127 --> 01:16:19,012
- The bacon in my bap?
- Is he the man you can share the secret with?
877
01:16:19,047 --> 01:16:23,084
The one that we all know,
but find so hard to believe...
878
01:16:25,004 --> 01:16:30,032
.. that, without love,
we're all really...
879
01:16:30,067 --> 01:16:31,076
nothing.
880
01:16:33,092 --> 01:16:37,033
- He is, and I do.
- Me, too, chick.
881
01:16:37,068 --> 01:16:44,012
So, in the sight of all our gods, I now pronounce you two groovy people
- man and wife!
882
01:16:44,047 --> 01:16:47,048
All right, Tollington!
Hooray!
883
01:17:07,048 --> 01:17:08,981
Goodbye.
884
01:17:09,016 --> 01:17:13,072
I will say your namastes to India.
to India. Enchante, Mr K.
885
01:17:36,004 --> 01:17:38,048
Peace and love for that!
886
01:17:38,083 --> 01:17:40,060
The postman!
887
01:17:42,060 --> 01:17:44,048
It's here.
888
01:17:48,060 --> 01:17:51,036
Go, go.
889
01:18:01,008 --> 01:18:04,044
Yes!Yes!
890
01:18:09,092 --> 01:18:11,997
"Dear Sharon de Beauvoir...
891
01:18:12,032 --> 01:18:18,060
"Congratulations. We have decided to publish your short
story, The Sprain Of Destiny. Yours, Jackie Magazine. "
892
01:18:18,095 --> 01:18:19,989
Yes!
893
01:18:20,024 --> 01:18:22,052
What is this Jackie Magazine?
894
01:18:24,008 --> 01:18:26,064
Sharon de Beauvoir? >
895
01:18:32,016 --> 01:18:33,985
OK, it doesn't matter. >
896
01:18:34,020 --> 01:18:37,048
She tried her best. You've passed!
897
01:18:37,083 --> 01:18:40,076
Meena, you passed!
.. Bloody hell!
898
01:18:42,004 --> 01:18:46,017
'This is where stories usually end,
right?
899
01:18:46,052 --> 01:18:51,013
'A nice wedding, a good exam result,
they all live happily ever after,
900
01:18:51,048 --> 01:18:58,020
'but you can't have a happy ending when
the person you really miss is missing. '
901
01:18:59,092 --> 01:19:03,012
# Burning skull of pain! #
902
01:19:12,020 --> 01:19:16,056
That was an original composition
called Burning Skull Of Pain.
903
01:19:16,091 --> 01:19:19,993
Right, we've got a bit of a treat
for you now.
904
01:19:20,028 --> 01:19:25,084
Mr Kumar and his friend are gonna sing a
traditional wedding song from the Punjab.
905
01:19:25,119 --> 01:19:28,064
Come on down, Mr Kumar.
906
01:19:37,084 --> 01:19:41,542
# Penso che un sogno
cosi non ritorni mai piu
907
01:19:41,577 --> 01:19:46,290
# Mai dipingevo le mani
e la faccia di blu
908
01:19:46,325 --> 01:19:50,969
# Poi d'improvviso venivo
dal vento rapito
909
01:19:51,004 --> 01:19:59,012
# E incominciavo a volare
nel cielo infinito-o-o
910
01:19:59,047 --> 01:20:02,045
# Volare
911
01:20:02,080 --> 01:20:05,050
# Oh-oh!
912
01:20:05,085 --> 01:20:07,985
# Cantare!
913
01:20:08,020 --> 01:20:10,037
# Oh-oh-oh-oh! #
914
01:20:10,072 --> 01:20:12,584
Come on. Put your hands up.
915
01:20:12,619 --> 01:20:15,337
#.. Nel blu, dipinto di blu
916
01:20:15,372 --> 01:20:18,206
# Felice di stare lassu
917
01:20:18,241 --> 01:20:21,005
# E volavo, volavo felice
918
01:20:21,040 --> 01:20:25,037
# Piu in alto del sole
ed ancora piu in su
919
01:20:25,072 --> 01:20:31,040
# Mentre il mondo pian piano
spariva lontano laggiu... #
920
01:20:44,076 --> 01:20:47,041
Nita! I know you're in there.
921
01:20:47,076 --> 01:20:51,032
I'm moving away next week.
I did it.
922
01:20:51,067 --> 01:20:53,575
I passed... and I'm glad.
923
01:20:53,610 --> 01:20:56,084
Can't you be glad for me?
924
01:21:00,068 --> 01:21:01,080
Nita!
925
01:21:02,080 --> 01:21:06,985
We can't be mates any more...
not now,
926
01:21:07,020 --> 01:21:12,068
but I'm glad we were, you know,
wenches together.
927
01:21:13,084 --> 01:21:14,088
Look.
928
01:21:37,052 --> 01:21:40,041
I hope you've got
lots of Tupperware, Daljit.
929
01:21:40,076 --> 01:21:44,088
Walsall's party circuit are holding
their breath for your puddings.
930
01:21:44,123 --> 01:21:49,000
We can take the new motorway back -
so convenient... Amman?
931
01:21:53,004 --> 01:21:55,020
Are you finished?
932
01:21:56,020 --> 01:21:58,036
Let's go.
933
01:22:22,052 --> 01:22:25,048
Ready, Meena?
934
01:22:25,083 --> 01:22:26,052
Ready.
935
01:22:32,020 --> 01:22:34,044
Shyam... Meena.
936
01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:43,044
Bye-bye, house. Say "bye-bye".
937
01:22:43,079 --> 01:22:46,048
Want to say bye-bye to our house?
938
01:22:46,083 --> 01:22:49,016
Slow down.
939
01:22:55,032 --> 01:23:00,028
Stop! Open the
door. Where are you going?
940
01:23:16,060 --> 01:23:21,080
I didn't get all of it, like,
but what you wrote, it was bosting.
941
01:23:21,115 --> 01:23:25,052
Are you saying sorry?
I said you wrote bosting stories.
942
01:23:25,087 --> 01:23:28,032
Even the bits that hurt were good.
943
01:23:28,067 --> 01:23:30,993
I write good letters, too.
944
01:23:31,028 --> 01:23:36,016
I've never read a letter, never
wrote one either. Have a go, wench.
945
01:24:00,000 --> 01:24:07,072
'I wrote Nita a letter, just the one, because I
got really busy with the new house and new school,
946
01:24:07,107 --> 01:24:10,061
'so I didn't much mind
that Nita never wrote back.
947
01:24:10,096 --> 01:24:15,057
At Christmas, she sent me a card -
a fat Santa saying Merry Christmas.
948
01:24:15,092 --> 01:24:21,076
'She'd crossed out Merry Christmas and
written Merry Diwali, spelt wrong, of course,
949
01:24:21,111 --> 01:24:24,997
'and a curly signature
with three kisses underneath.
950
01:24:25,032 --> 01:24:32,036
'I use it as a bookmark, so when I close the
book, Nita's there, inside every story, with me.
951
01:24:37,020 --> 01:24:41,064
'Oh, yeah. We also got a postcard
from Uncle Alan in India. '
952
01:24:41,099 --> 01:24:43,593
Stand straight. Don't pick noses.
953
01:24:43,628 --> 01:24:46,053
'He said he was over his dysentery
954
01:24:46,088 --> 01:24:52,009
'and that his best friend from vicar school
is going to be Tollington's new minister,
955
01:24:52,044 --> 01:24:58,024
'which Uncle Alan says "proves beyond a doubt
that God definitely has a sense of humour. " '
956
01:25:02,056 --> 01:25:04,993
I'm getting enough of you!
957
01:25:05,028 --> 01:25:09,024
# You're everywhere and nowhere,
baby
958
01:25:09,059 --> 01:25:11,072
# That's where you're at
959
01:25:13,024 --> 01:25:15,088
# Going down a bumpy hillside
960
01:25:16,096 --> 01:25:19,009
# In your hippy hat
961
01:25:19,044 --> 01:25:22,045
# Flying across the country
962
01:25:22,080 --> 01:25:26,068
# And getting fat... #
Naughty woman!
963
01:25:26,103 --> 01:25:29,084
#.. Saying everything is groovy
964
01:25:29,119 --> 01:25:33,095
# When your tyres are flat
965
01:25:33,130 --> 01:25:37,081
# And it's hi ho silver lining
966
01:25:37,116 --> 01:25:40,576
# Anywhere you go now, baby
967
01:25:40,611 --> 01:25:43,809
# I see your sun is shining
968
01:25:43,844 --> 01:25:46,442
# But I won't make a fuss
969
01:25:46,477 --> 01:25:49,040
# Though it's obvious... #
970
01:25:49,075 --> 01:25:51,021
Very modern.
971
01:25:51,056 --> 01:25:54,044
#.. Flies in your pea soup, baby
972
01:25:54,079 --> 01:25:57,052
# They're waving at me
973
01:25:58,060 --> 01:26:01,060
# Anything you want is yours now
974
01:26:01,095 --> 01:26:04,048
# Only nothing's for free
975
01:26:05,092 --> 01:26:08,044
# Lies are gonna get you someday
976
01:26:08,079 --> 01:26:11,048
# Just wait and see
977
01:26:12,068 --> 01:26:15,060
# So open up your beach umbrella
978
01:26:15,095 --> 01:26:19,075
# While you're watching TV
979
01:26:19,110 --> 01:26:23,056
# And it's hi ho silver lining
980
01:26:23,091 --> 01:26:25,057
# Anywhere you go
981
01:26:25,092 --> 01:26:30,024
# Well, baby,
I see your sun is shining
982
01:26:30,059 --> 01:26:32,539
# But I won't make a fuss
983
01:26:32,574 --> 01:26:34,821
# Though it's obvious... #
984
01:26:34,856 --> 01:26:37,033
Come on, everybody, come on.
985
01:26:37,068 --> 01:26:41,000
#.. You're everywhere and nowhere,
baby
986
01:26:41,035 --> 01:26:43,044
# That's where you're at
987
01:26:44,052 --> 01:26:47,004
# Running down a bumpy hillside
988
01:26:47,039 --> 01:26:50,012
# In your hippy hat
989
01:26:51,072 --> 01:26:54,032
# Flying across the country
990
01:26:54,067 --> 01:26:57,032
# And getting fat
991
01:26:58,064 --> 01:27:01,056
# Saying everything is groovy
992
01:27:01,091 --> 01:27:05,047
# When your tyres are flat
993
01:27:05,082 --> 01:27:08,583
# And it's hi ho silver lining
994
01:27:08,618 --> 01:27:12,319
# Anywhere you go now, baby
995
01:27:12,354 --> 01:27:15,209
# I see your sun is shining
996
01:27:15,244 --> 01:27:17,670
# But I won't make a fuss
997
01:27:17,705 --> 01:27:20,096
# Though it's obvious... #
998
01:27:50,032 --> 01:27:54,096
#.. And it's hi ho silver lining
999
01:27:54,131 --> 01:27:56,973
# Anywhere you go
1000
01:27:57,008 --> 01:28:01,096
# Well, baby
I see your sun is shining
1001
01:28:01,131 --> 01:28:03,997
# But I won't make a fuss
1002
01:28:04,032 --> 01:28:08,092
# And it's hi ho silver lining
1003
01:28:08,127 --> 01:28:11,013
# Anywhere you go
1004
01:28:11,048 --> 01:28:16,008
# Well, baby,
I see your sun is shining
1005
01:28:16,043 --> 01:28:19,029
# But I won't make a fuss
1006
01:28:19,064 --> 01:28:22,016
# Though it's obvious. #
1007
01:28:24,016 --> 01:28:26,542
Eh, Meena, what do you think?
1008
01:28:26,577 --> 01:28:29,068
I could shag the arse off it!
86782
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