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1
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,480
NETFLIX PRESENTS
2
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,280
This is me,
3
00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,360
and this is Ana, my girl.
4
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:12,440
We've been together for 8 years
and I just asked her to marry me.
5
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,000
But apparently
she has other ideas in mind.
6
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,640
I'm sorry, but this relationship
is going nowhere.
7
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,440
We're stuck in a rut
and marriage would only make it worse.
8
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,560
And now, I think
she's going to dump me...
9
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,560
I don't know. We should just...
10
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,320
take a break.
11
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:41,280
So yeah, she dumped me
and I'm done listening.
12
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,120
It looks like I am because
I look like an idiot, but I'm not.
13
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,560
I guess I should listen
to know why she's dumping me.
14
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,240
Instead, I'm thinking back
to our third date.
15
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,560
When I told her
it felt like I already knew her
16
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,856
because every love song
that played reminded me of her.
17
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,160
It's a little cheesy, I know,
but I meant it.
18
00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:58,920
And Ana kissed me for the first time.
19
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,360
And then a practical thought
hits me, like:
20
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,680
"Who's paying for this dinner?"
21
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:08,000
She's just said every cliché
about breaking up except one.
22
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:13,080
If you'd like...
we could still be friends.
23
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,760
We're taking a break?
24
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,760
A break...
25
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,040
How long is that?
26
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:26,440
A week, a few minutes, a lifetime...
27
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,360
8 years is plenty of time for sure.
28
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,680
So you're going to go out there
and win her back.
29
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,880
Getting Ana back, just watch!
30
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:43,880
What's this?
31
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,920
What's left from the shop.
We're selling it off online.
32
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,240
We didn't realize
it was going so bad with Ana.
33
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,600
I mean, it didn't go that bad.
34
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,760
We were together for 8 years
and now we're on a break.
35
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,120
What is this "break" business?
How long?
36
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,320
Like a week, a year, a month?
37
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,600
Time is a fun thing, Dad,
you never know how long it will last.
38
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,360
- Everyone knows that. Here.
- I knew that girl wasn't...
39
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,000
Wasn't what?
40
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,280
We were together 8 years
and no one here said a thing.
41
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,560
If you hadn't gone to live
at her place...
42
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,480
That was to save on rent.
I've said it a thousand times.
43
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,040
But she gets to stay at her place
44
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,000
and you have to come
live here at 35 years of age.
45
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,560
Guys nowadays are idiots.
46
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,200
Relax. This will only be
for a couple days.
47
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,120
And besides... let me finish.
My life hasn't fallen apart!
48
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,720
My boss called me in, okay?
49
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,760
And I think he's going to promote me.
50
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,000
Not so dumb after all.
51
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,640
This is my office. Here we make
a ton of TV commercials.
52
00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,160
Honestly, my work is just
checking over other people's work.
53
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,280
What I'd really love
is to be a sports journalist.
54
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:04,600
But in the meantime...
55
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,240
You're firing me?
56
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,520
But John, John... Juan...
57
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,880
I know what I do is easy,
but I'm good at it.
58
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,320
Layoffs.
59
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,920
So fire Luisma. He's a recent hire.
60
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,360
Luisma. Good point.
I hadn't thought of him. Thanks.
61
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,696
No, that Luisma thing was
a figure of speech. Don't fire him.
62
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,680
Sure, but you reminded me
and we're cutting back.
63
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,000
- Right. It's all good, but...
- No.
64
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,880
Right...
Could you call in Luisma, please?
65
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,560
My girlfriend dumped me
and I was sacked all within 48 hours.
66
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,840
There is no one more pathetic than me
on this continent right now.
67
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,880
- I'm sure not.
- You know what Ana said?
68
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,440
"I don't think we were made
for each other." Clearly not!
69
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,240
I wear earplugs to avoid hearing
that Melendi shit you like!
70
00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,400
And sorry, you can't dump
your boyfriend at dinner
71
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,520
on the day he proposes.
He'll never get over it.
72
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,000
You say, "Let me think."
73
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,240
Then you go home
and text him the next day
74
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:09,640
just like everyone else does.
75
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,440
What am I supposed to do
with myself now?
76
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,880
She did you a favour, dude.
What's this same girl for years shit?
77
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,640
Monogamy doesn't exist.
78
00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,400
Do you realize
the time you've lost? Look.
79
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:20,880
UNIVERSITY ORGY
COME GET WILD
80
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,080
Is that even for real?
81
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,360
This and much more!
Give me your phone.
82
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,440
- Come on, life is moving on without us.
- I'm not...
83
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,280
Shut up. You need updating,
young Marcos.
84
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,480
- What's your profile?
- Left side. My nose looks smaller.
85
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,680
Clearly you are no stud.
86
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,680
Check it out, though...
if you make an effort...
87
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,360
- What's that?
- Friends with benefits.
88
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,240
I don't know...
89
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,000
- We'll start with some sexy emojis...
- Sexy what?
90
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,880
- An eggplant, a peach...
- So, vegetables.
91
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,400
You're going to make
this difficult, aren't you?
92
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,920
Don't download a virus.
What is all this?
93
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,880
I added a few sweet hookup apps.
94
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,080
Tinder, Raya, Boompi, Happn, Saken...
95
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:07,120
I know Saken.
It's that Japanese drink, right?
96
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,120
- Oh God.
- I'm going home, man.
97
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,920
Is your mommy waiting for you?
98
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:14,840
I'm not in the mood.
I don't want to be...
99
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,160
Young Marcos,
your new life starts now.
100
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,000
I know.
101
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,320
- Seize the day, man...
- Right. I'll check it out.
102
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,080
That's it, check it out. Trust me!
103
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,680
At this very moment I just found out
what my profile is:
104
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:34,360
I'm 35, I live with my parents,
I am but a shadow to women,
105
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,360
Ana dumped me and now my life sucks.
106
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,320
And I don't know what I want,
but I know what I don't want.
107
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,040
Diego has good intentions,
but they don't help me.
108
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,360
I have to look for help
from reliable resources.
109
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,400
HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK UP
110
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,560
Thanks for choosing
the greatest self-help channel
111
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:06,520
in all the Hispanic world.
112
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:09,560
Because when you need help,
who can you turn to?
113
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,560
Family? Friends?
114
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,720
No...
115
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,120
You go to Google, and here we are.
116
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,000
- Listen up.
- Okay.
117
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,400
You want to get out of the hole
you're stuck in?
118
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,920
Want to look in the mirror
and not be ashamed of what you see?
119
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,680
And most importantly,
120
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,640
do you want to get over your ex
and start with your new life?
121
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:29,840
Exactly.
122
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:30,600
Good.
123
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,760
Here is my first piece of advice.
124
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,120
Stand up and scream.
125
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,240
Free yourself of all
that anger and hate...
126
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,160
Actually, I'm more sad than angry.
127
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,440
Go for it...
128
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,200
That's it!
129
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,360
Say it: "Motherfucker!
130
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,320
You are a motherfucker!"
131
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,000
You are a motherfucker!
132
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,680
Motherfucker!
133
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,600
Motherfucker!
134
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,720
Ah... Motherfucker...
Uh... Motherfucker...
135
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:00,520
Can't do it.
136
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,560
Motherfucker!
137
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,360
Don't you feel better?
138
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:10,920
Much better.
139
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,320
Of course,
all that weight off your shoulders.
140
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,560
Now, I want you to take a pen and paper
141
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,840
and write down
142
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,560
what it is that you want
with all your might.
143
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,720
Don't be a moron and put down
"get back together with my ex".
144
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,040
What the hell.
145
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,760
So, in order to get
what you really want,
146
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:37,760
the first thing you have to do
is become financially independent.
147
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,320
To have money and not depend
on your parents.
148
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,160
Of course, yeah, that's fine...
149
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,600
You are 35 years old, have some balls.
150
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,720
What are you doing still living
with your parents?
151
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,600
Stop leeching off your parents
and get out of there, you idiot!
152
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,080
It's just how things have been.
153
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,280
You big idiot! Get out
of your parents' house, moron!
154
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,800
- Don't insult me...
- Get to work!
155
00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,280
- Get to work!
- Okay, I'll give it a try now.
156
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,440
Idiot.
157
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,000
- What's up, dude? Why are you here?
- What's up, Diego...
158
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:22,040
Give me a job, I mean, I want a job,
I need a job. Give me a job.
159
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,360
- What are you talking about?
- Give me a job here. Give me a job!
160
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,200
A job? As if I could
give anyone a job.
161
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,120
No, young Marcos.
Things are really bad now.
162
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,216
You don't understand me.
I'm not giving you a choice.
163
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,496
I'm not telling you
"Here, let's see if you can give me..."
164
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,280
- No. Give me a job or I'll tell.
- You'll tell what?
165
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,376
I'll call your exes and tell
how you cheated on them,
166
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,656
I'll call our friends and tell
you fucked their girlfriends.
167
00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,320
But why are you such an asshole?
168
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,160
It's not just to be an asshole,
it's to survive.
169
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,456
I can look to see if there is anything
in the Internet department...
170
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,560
- You see?
- You son of a bitch,
171
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,480
- you could kill me any other day.
- Champ, you are a champ.
172
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:06,920
Hey, stupid!
173
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,520
- I'm the stupid one?
- Marcos!
174
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:14,080
- Yes...
- It's me, Raquel!
175
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,760
Oh... Which one?
176
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,760
- From 1 B.
- You're Raquel from 1 B?
177
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,040
Wow! How's it going?
178
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,680
Well, you caught me right
in the middle of a lot of changes.
179
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,040
Lots of work, lots of projects...
What are you up to?
180
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,360
I'm going to a funeral.
181
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,520
Oh, well, great...
182
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,520
How long has it been
since we last saw each other?
183
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,600
Since high school...
or like more than 15 years.
184
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,880
What've you been up
to all this time?
185
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,440
Thinking about you.
186
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,560
Of course.
187
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,360
It's a joke, stupid!
188
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,240
I moved to London, remember?
189
00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,040
- What did you want to play?
- Gypsy music.
190
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,200
Oh yeah, you played the accordion
at the year-end party.
191
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,320
- You were playing barefoot.
- Yes!
192
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,200
I remember, you sang great,
but you were a freak.
193
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,520
Well of course.
194
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:14,120
You told me you were gonna record
a tape for me with that track I liked.
195
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,760
The Proclaimers, remember?
196
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,800
I recorded that tape!
Didn't I give it to you?
197
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:18,920
No.
198
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,096
Why didn't I give it to you?
199
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,360
I don't know. But, if you
sing it now, I'll forgive you.
200
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,880
- Sure, right now.
- No, seriously.
201
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,640
Let me go home, drop off this box,
and I'll come sing.
202
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:30,760
Excuse me.
203
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,840
- Okay, I'll see you later.
- Okay.
204
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,200
Diego, what's up?
205
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,560
You'll catch on right away,
it's not that hard.
206
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,440
Here we have the girls for handball,
207
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,720
here we have the cycling section,
and here are our superbloggers.
208
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,680
This will be your spot, okay?
209
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,320
Get settled in.
210
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,360
You'll take care
of online summaries for the games
211
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,640
and whatever else
we'll be needing, okay?
212
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,520
One thing.
213
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:04,520
If you need help, don't ask me,
I have a lot of work to do.
214
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,880
You're a real sports journalist.
For a real newspaper!
215
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,160
This has been your dream
since you were a little boy!
216
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,440
And even if I'm only commenting
on ping-pong games,
217
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,080
I have always loved
the less-popular sports.
218
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,696
Knowing about soccer is easy,
but to know Bulgarian canoeing...
219
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,320
There's where the work is.
220
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:26,680
I'm about to take off.
221
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:33,360
The first litmus test
for getting over Ana. My friend.
222
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:35,720
Beers.
223
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,040
My hook-up shirt.
224
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:39,680
And most importantly,
225
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,600
girls that Diego has connected
with over Tinder.
226
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,000
We've made a bet.
The winner chooses the target...
227
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,240
I'm freaked out.
228
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,360
Okay, young Marcos,
here's your audience: the 30-year-olds.
229
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,120
They are all crazy.
230
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,040
And the blowjobs...
they do it with...
231
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,040
They do it with what?
232
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,280
I don't know what it is. But they do it
with such care and dedication...
233
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,600
- that it makes a difference.
- I don't care if they do it or not.
234
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,216
As long as I don't get laughed
at today, I'll be happy with that.
235
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,416
Of course, like your ex
didn't suck your dick... whatever.
236
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,400
Her neck muscles were weak
and messed her up if she did it...
237
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,000
Enough with the jokes.
You're justifying her excuses?
238
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,600
Blowjobs are irreplaceable.
Everything else is fear...
239
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,560
- Okay, your turn.
- My turn.
240
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,040
Now, if I get it in... I'll get it in.
241
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,560
But if I get it in, I choose.
242
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,640
Okay, let's see what happens.
243
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,240
Fuck...
244
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:43,480
Get over there.
245
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,200
You're good at this, I've noticed.
246
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,120
Good move, dude.
Helping out. You got this.
247
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,120
Hitting it is complicated.
248
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,720
I would attack it.
A little more...
249
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,440
Could you get your hand off me,
I can't concentrate.
250
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,880
Of course, your call.
251
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,560
Almost...
252
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,400
I missed.
253
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,480
I'm going home.
254
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,680
Home? No, please,
stay and have a beer, won't you?
255
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,640
Actually, no.
I have class tomorrow.
256
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,920
It's not even 12.
257
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,480
Teacher won't scold you
for missing one class.
258
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:26,760
Excuse me? I am the teacher.
I teach at an occupational workshop.
259
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,040
Occupational... workshop.
That's interesting.
260
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,880
How the fuck can it be interesting
if you don't know what it is?
261
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,680
What happened to the code?
There used to be a code with girls...
262
00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,056
your buddy hooks up with one,
and you hooked up with the other.
263
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,120
What is this?
264
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:43,720
Hey...
265
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,280
What's up?
266
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,160
You think cuz I'm fat I have to settle
for the ugly poorly-dressed one?
267
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,440
In that case if we're being honest
with each other,
268
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,096
I don't know,
I think the scale evens out.
269
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,560
You Neanderthal!
270
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,640
I'm guessing by your words
we aren't going to hook up?
271
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:02,040
No. I'd rather go home
and get myself off with my dildo,
272
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,680
you talk way too much.
273
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,680
She's going home with her dildo.
274
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,080
In the past century, I used to hook up,
but not too much.
275
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,560
But now, it's like
I don't understand any of this...
276
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,080
To hook up with a girl
in the XXI century,
277
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,176
I'm going to have to change myself
into a man of the XXI century.
278
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,200
I have no other option.
279
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,160
HOW TO BE A MAN IN THE XXI CENTURY
280
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,240
Hello, hello everyone
281
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,520
and welcome to the greatest
282
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,920
self-help channel
in all the Hispanic world.
283
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,120
When you need help,
who can you turn to?
284
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,080
Family, friends?
285
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:53,840
You.
286
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,120
No, you go to Google,
and here we are.
287
00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,720
Listen up. Do you want to be
a man of the XXI century?
288
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,280
To pick up a girl in the XXI century,
289
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,040
you have to be in harmony
with the world you live in.
290
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,240
I'll give you some advice.
291
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,520
First: balance out your body and mind.
292
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:12,760
That is the first step of all.
293
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,600
Do some exercise.
294
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,560
Don't be intimidated by everyone
else's toned biceps...
295
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,920
It's only a matter of time
before you'll be as strong as them.
296
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,200
Sacrifice and perseverance.
297
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,760
Eating well and your health
go hand in hand.
298
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,640
Avoid unhealthy temptations.
299
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,440
Eliminate yogurt,
milk and fatty cheeses,
300
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,440
energy drinks, soda
and beer, lunch meats...
301
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,120
No, not allowed.
302
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,320
Your outside appearance
reflects your self-esteem.
303
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,280
Look through your bathroom.
304
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,760
Make sure you have your eye cream,
305
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,400
face cleanser, tonic, facial peeler...
306
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,000
Anti-wrinkle cream, very important.
307
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,280
Change your look.
308
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,040
Style your hair.
309
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,040
Dress like a man of the XXI century.
310
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,360
Update your wardrobe.
311
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:24,640
Don't use plaid shirts,
striped t-shirts or sports jerseys...
312
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:45,080
Hey, stupid!
313
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,480
What, you see me and say nothing?
314
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,640
- Don't call me stupid...
- You were spying on me.
315
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,320
Well, I could either report you
or call you stupid, you choose.
316
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,040
Sorry, but this all seems strange.
317
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,336
I haven't seen you for 15 years
and now you're everywhere.
318
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,760
- What are you even doing here?
- I work here.
319
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,240
What about you?
You live around here?
320
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,000
Not at all... Well, now I do,
since I live with my parents...
321
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,480
What a loser.
322
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,320
And you know, my girlfriend dumped
me the day I asked her to marry me?
323
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,160
- But you know what?
- What?
324
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,440
I'm going to get over my ex right now.
325
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,840
- And how will you do that?
- Not the slightest clue.
326
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:23,640
My friend Diego says I should hook up
with someone to get over her.
327
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,720
Actually, he tells me
I have to hook up a lot. In general.
328
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,200
So I'm on my way to buy clothes.
329
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,160
Sure, fucking is much better
with clothes on.
330
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,280
No, because I have to have a look.
A new look.
331
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,360
But why do you have to change your look?
332
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,440
I have to, I have a blind date
and appearance is everything now.
333
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,040
The last time
I bought myself jeans...
334
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,120
Kurt Cobain was still alive I think.
335
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,480
Seriously, seriously...
336
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,840
- Hey, I'll be right back!
- Okay!
337
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,840
Oh, you're coming with me?
338
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,320
My chest feels tight.
339
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,880
Look, we make such a great couple!
340
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:08,640
I wanna clear something up
so we don't feel weird or anything.
341
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,440
Okay.
342
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,056
Do you remember in school
when you sort of told me you liked me?
343
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,600
- You were in love with me, right?
- I still am.
344
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,360
15 years later
and I can't seem to forget you.
345
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,440
- In school...
- I was fat and had lice.
346
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,680
- Of course, and now...
- I look good...
347
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:25,880
That's why!
348
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,080
I'm an idiot who believes everything.
349
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,240
Let's go.
350
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,320
- We can be friends.
- No, don't tell me that.
351
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,920
- No more than that.
- Don't say that or I'll break things.
352
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,840
NOELIA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE
353
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,360
The one who really is amazing
is the girl at reception.
354
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,040
She's always making jokes.
355
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,920
I laugh so much with her,
she is super funny...
356
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,080
Hey...
357
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,400
you and I aren't going
to hook up, okay?
358
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,560
Alright.
359
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,376
SARA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE
360
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,416
CLAUDIA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE
361
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,640
AIDA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE
362
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,920
Be quiet, my roommates are asleep.
363
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,560
Over there, over there, yeah.
364
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,360
- I thought you lived alone.
- I share a flat with a few friends.
365
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,640
Well, I really feel
like making some noise...
366
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:31,840
Okay...
367
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,680
- Home so soon.
- Hi!
368
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,360
Is she your girlfriend?
369
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,160
Good night, Marcos, sleep well.
370
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,480
Your apartment is a castle of love
371
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:12,360
where some day you'll have
to bring the lovely ladies back to.
372
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,840
It doesn't have to look
like how you want it,
373
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,000
but how they would like it...
374
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:21,680
That is how you will reach
the main goal of this channel:
375
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:23,680
fuck.
376
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:25,480
Or have sex.
377
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,920
Wow, how hot your parents are!
Having sex at their age.
378
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,720
Children should never see
their parents having sex.
379
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,856
My father was talking to me
with a mask on his face.
380
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:35,880
Wow!
381
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:37,416
What were they role-playing, Zorro?
382
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,600
And the girl who you were with?
How did she take it?
383
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,800
Fantastic, wedding bells are ringing...
384
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,360
You've got an apartment
at least, right?
385
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,640
This is awesome.
It's wonderful, the light...
386
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,840
It still doesn't get me laid.
387
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,920
- Do you know Hater?
- I don't know anything. What's Hater?
388
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:57,360
It's an app where you share
the things you hate.
389
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,360
For example, I hate the loyalty cards
from the supermarkets,
390
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,320
they make me nervous.
Electric scooters...
391
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,840
- Killer tourists on fucking segways.
- Yes!
392
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:07,720
Selfie sticks!
393
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,480
- Japanese restaurants.
- Shiitake.
394
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,640
Small children who tell you
"sir, sir". I'm a boy!
395
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,440
- Sunflowers.
- Why sunflowers?
396
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,560
It's a flower
that just makes me nervous.
397
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,001
It's very yellow, and very big...
Why are you right there?
398
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:21,960
This app is very good,
it's really great.
399
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,280
- See?
- I'm having a good time.
400
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,736
But it's not going
to get me laid either.
401
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,080
Of course. Well, no...
402
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,240
Getting laid or not,
I do have good music.
403
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,840
She's erased me from her life.
404
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,560
For Ana, I no longer exist.
405
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,440
Young Marcos, I'm going to give you
some advice you need to know
406
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,560
because this is key if you want
to succeed with the ladies.
407
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,240
Ignore them.
408
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,600
You can't be so desperate, man.
You'll scare them.
409
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,760
And most of all,
stop thinking about your ex.
410
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,280
Stop talking about your ex.
Nobody gives a fuck about your ex.
411
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,440
I'm only thinking about myself now.
I promise.
412
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,560
But I get distracted and...
She slips right through...
413
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,440
Don't get distracted.
Concentrate on yourself.
414
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,760
Dude, you're doing great at work.
415
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,536
In fact, they told me
they want you to oversee
416
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:43,800
the Division 2 Twitter account.
417
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,200
- They told you?
- Yeah.
418
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,440
- What are you looking at?
- Nothing, you're just handsome.
419
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:55,560
You know, it's like you're...
very proportioned, right?
420
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,520
Really, young Marcos?
You're acting very strange...
421
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,840
What did I say?
It's an observation.
422
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:15,680
VERONICA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE
423
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:32,520
I'm at the girl's house...
424
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,880
And according to the instructions
of my crazy Argentinian guru,
425
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,160
I have been mentally adding up
426
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,040
all the chances I have
to end up in bed with her...
427
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,760
and up to now, 8 out of 10.
428
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,720
If I get to the bar and the girl
shows cleavage. 2 points...
429
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,080
If I ask her what her drink is
and she says wine, 1 point;
430
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,400
whisky, 3 points;
with a coffee, I leave the bar...
431
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,720
What would you like to drink?
432
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,280
- A pint of beer.
- A pint of beer.
433
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,320
Excuse me! A pint of beer for her
and a vermouth for me.
434
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,160
1.5 points.
435
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,240
Dinner is very complicated,
436
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,696
you have to avoid having
too many topics of conversation
437
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,320
to avoid the friendzone...
438
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,760
because that's no good,
that's like minus 100 or 200 points.
439
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,000
Are you hungry?
440
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,520
No, I'm fine with the fries.
Another round?
441
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:21,920
Yes, please. Of course.
442
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,720
1.5 points.
443
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,400
And last of all... moment for drinks.
444
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,600
If we get to that point
and we don't know each other that well,
445
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,000
and she looks at me, interested
and smiles without realizing it...
446
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,760
That's the moment to kiss her...
447
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,360
1 kiss, 1 point.
448
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,400
A kiss with something else, 4 points...
449
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,320
If she touches my package...
a million points.
450
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,360
I got 1 point.
451
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,080
Plus two more points.
452
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,200
Of course, because
she was the one who told me:
453
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,040
"want to come over to my house?"
454
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:02,840
Tonight is a sure thing.
455
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,360
You know, many people have told me
456
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,640
"careful hooking up over the Internet,
you'll end up with a surprise..."
457
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,920
And instead, here we are, you and me,
two people with things clearly laid out.
458
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,120
Here, without shocks,
with the truth in front of us.
459
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,600
I've been using the wrong app.
460
00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:30,600
Don't be depressed...
461
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,680
At least you've been able
to forget about...
462
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,080
- Ana...
- Ana, that's it!
463
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,736
Because you've forgotten
about her already, right?
464
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,056
It's a weird phenomenon,
because I think more about the things
465
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,120
that drove me nuts about her
than what I liked.
466
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,360
However, I still remember
her when I wake up,
467
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,000
when I go to sleep,
when I cook asparagus...
468
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,640
- Do we really need to see this guy?
- Of course, you're gonna like him.
469
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,080
He isn't Argentinian?
470
00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:52,120
No.
471
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,480
To hear him complain, "yes, my life...",
I've got myself for that.
472
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,720
Not at all, he isn't
one of those singer-songwriters.
473
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,440
You'll like him.
He's handsome and plays very well.
474
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:01,880
You want to fuck him.
475
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:06,000
I don't want to fuck him...
I already did. Now we're just friends.
476
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:07,280
No.
477
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,280
- What?
- That can't happen.
478
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,240
What do you mean, that men
and women can't be friends?
479
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,080
If they've already had sex, no.
480
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,880
Of course, we haven't had sex
and that's why we're friends.
481
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,120
- But this is the end of it...
- Why?
482
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,920
You know how many times
I've jerked off thinking about you?
483
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,640
- Well, half-sex.
- The sunset of our relationship.
484
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:28,840
What a shame.
485
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:30,760
Look.
486
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,840
Thank you, thank you.
It's great that you all came.
487
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:38,280
Well, he was Argentinian.
488
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,480
I'm Ezequiel. I'm a musician.
489
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,880
My mom always tells this story...
490
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,200
When I was young, I was like
4 years old and sitting on the toilet
491
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,280
and said to her "mom, mom"
and she said "what, what".
492
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,560
I want to express myself through music.
493
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,800
I want applause, and to share
what I have inside of me.
494
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,280
And that's why when I act,
I carry this cage with me
495
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:03,040
because it represents everything
we have to share from within us.
496
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,200
And there was one day
I went to go see a palm-reader
497
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,840
who looked at the palm of my hand
and tells me...
498
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,920
Your life line is very broken.
499
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:15,480
And I said, "but what does that mean?"
"Tell me, tell me."
500
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:16,920
And he said...
501
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,160
Life is painful
502
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,640
Life hurts
503
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,480
That is all I can say
504
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,200
That is all I can say...
505
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,760
- Hi!
- How's it going?
506
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,440
I loved it.
507
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,360
That's good!
508
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:25,520
How's it going?
509
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,520
- Did you like it?
- Very much. A lot.
510
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,560
Great, I'm glad to hear it.
511
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,000
You look beautiful.
You look great, stunning.
512
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,720
- You want a beer?
- No, I don't drink alcohol.
513
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,480
Alcohol makes you swell up
and leaves you walking like a ball
514
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,560
and we can't walk
through life like that.
515
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:42,480
Obviously.
516
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,280
Men today have to take care
of themselves just like women do.
517
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,016
- Totally, you know what I mean?
- Totally...
518
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,160
Every day I run 25 km.,
I wax my chest,
519
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,280
I put cucumber masks over my face,
and I feel fantastic...
520
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,200
- Waiter!
- May I take this away?
521
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:56,200
Yes, please.
522
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:57,696
- You going to drink anything else?
- Yes...
523
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,560
I would like sparkling water
with lime and no ice.
524
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,040
- Another beer for me.
- I'm fine, nothing else.
525
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:07,720
This guy is an idiot...
526
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,720
You're beautiful...
527
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,680
But he's handsome.
A prototype of the XXI century man.
528
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,920
Look at that, he doesn't have
an ounce of fat on him...
529
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,240
And Raquel laughs at all his jokes...
530
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,200
If I were like him,
531
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,320
I could say the same bullshit
without the ladies thinking:
532
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,200
What is this Neanderthal talking about?
533
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,040
I'm heading out.
534
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:33,480
You're going?
535
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,480
I just remembered tomorrow
I have an asphalt drag sled race.
536
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,880
Some Filipino guy is going
to blow it out of the water...
537
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,520
But you stay...
Stay for a while, won't you?
538
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:42,800
- Yeah, stay, stay...
- Stay.
539
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,400
- Really?
- Yes, of course, yes.
540
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,920
- Of course. Dude, a pleasure.
- Thanks. See you later.
541
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,440
- See you tomorrow!
- Okay!
542
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,160
I'm on the right path, I feel it, but...
543
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,400
it's not enough.
544
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,320
Carlos.
545
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,360
- Marcos.
- Yes, Marcos.
546
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,080
Listen...
547
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,056
I know we haven't been able
to talk since you started here,
548
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,360
but next week,
I'm throwing an incredible party
549
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,280
for everyone in the basketball section.
550
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:56,640
You should come.
551
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,280
Okay.
552
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:01,320
Marcos.
553
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,200
I'm doing something...
554
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,800
that I never thought
I'd have the courage to do...
555
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:30,360
The only thing is that it's for life.
Besides, they're really trendy now.
556
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,040
- What's the smallest one you have?
- Do you trust me?
557
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,440
I feel like Jasmine in
Aladdin. Yes.
558
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,600
You shouldn't, because
I could get my revenge on you.
559
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,160
Why are you taking revenge on me?
560
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,840
Why did you leave me
the other night with that idiot?
561
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,040
Because he's an idiot,
but he's your friend, you tolerate him.
562
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,200
Besides, you were the one
who wanted to stay.
563
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,600
But I didn't want to stay really
and since you left me...
564
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,360
I had to sleep with him.
565
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,760
Poor Raquel,
you can't stop sleeping around...
566
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,880
I promise you
that listening to him was worse.
567
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,120
So what do I do?
568
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,120
Take this off and sit here.
I'm going to do it free-hand.
569
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,320
"Free-hand"?
570
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,240
That sounds dirty.
571
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,360
- I feel like I'm at the dentist now.
- It's going to hurt more.
572
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,280
So, to make it up,
573
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,440
this Friday I'm taking you
to another concert
574
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,600
- and this one I promise you'll like.
- I can't this Friday.
575
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,160
- Why not?
- My boss, she invited me to a party...
576
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,416
You're going to a party
and you weren't going to invite me?
577
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,256
It's not that I didn't want
to invite you, but if you come,
578
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,680
I can't focus on the target,
which is to hook up...
579
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:35,000
So you're completely sure
that this Friday is your night.
580
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:38,120
- Me hooking up is never for sure.
- Who are you going with?
581
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:45,200
- Hey...
- What's up?
582
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,160
He's my friend, but he's too
good-looking. I can't take him.
583
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,280
I need someone who makes me
seem more than what I really am...
584
00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:55,360
Tomy!
585
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:00,600
What did I do?
586
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:08,400
Thanks, Marcos!
587
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,840
I'm super excited...
588
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,320
Check out this big screen, look.
589
00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:22,720
Marcos?
590
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,200
When you go to a party,
according to my influencer,
591
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,600
if you want to leave the party with her,
592
00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,880
you have to avoid three big threats.
593
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,840
Don't even think about
going to the kitchen to find a beer
594
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,160
and stand around talking
about football with a group of guys.
595
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:40,360
Never.
596
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,680
I'm the intern.
I help Marcos and...
597
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,360
Watch how much you drink.
598
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,360
I really need to pee...
Just a sec, okay?
599
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:57,360
And most of all, don't be near
the ice when it runs out
600
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,520
and the most beautiful girl
at the party wants a drink.
601
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,120
Give me a minute, okay?
I'll go find some ice.
602
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:04,760
Never.
603
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,680
Guys! The ice!
604
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,040
If you can avoid those three threats,
605
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,720
then you can focus
on what's really important.
606
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:16,000
Looking for a girl.
607
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,200
You looking for a track
or are you looking
608
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:23,600
at what kind of music I like?
609
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:27,400
Yes, exactly. It's just that
this
chill out music seems a bit slow...
610
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,920
But I see here that
you have a really good playlist.
611
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,600
Massive Attack, Radiohead...
Daft Punk from the beginning...
612
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,200
I have very good music.
613
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:37,680
Marcos?
614
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,400
I'll see you later.
615
00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:41,840
Ana?
616
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,320
What the hell is she doing here?
617
00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:46,880
Don't be nervous...
Come on... You can do it...
618
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:50,120
God, my heart is going to explode...
I'll have a heart attack here...
619
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,400
What are you doing here?
620
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,840
I came with a friend...
621
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,560
What have you done?
I almost don't recognize you...
622
00:36:57,720 --> 00:36:59,400
Ignore her, just ignore her.
623
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:01,720
You are the same, as always.
624
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,816
I see these last few months
have been good for you.
625
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,600
And you no longer dress like a teenager.
626
00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:09,360
No, I am a new man.
627
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,080
I've changed. On the inside, too.
I'm chang...
628
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,176
What is she doing with her hand?
I'm going to faint!
629
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,120
Get your hand off... Get it off!
630
00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:20,080
She wants to hook up with me!
Just ignore her!
631
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,160
And who is that very beautiful
woman you were talking to?
632
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,280
Is she jealous, because...?
Ignore her, damn it, ignore her.
633
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,440
A friend. A friend from...
634
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:33,920
How do I ignore her now?
635
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,680
Of course, as I was telling you...
636
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,520
So you want to keep talking
or you want to go fuck?
637
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,520
This wasn't planned for in my method.
638
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:48,400
This is a song I wrote in London
639
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,360
which I dedicated to love.
640
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:22,120
My love, dear, kiss me again...
641
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:27,320
My love, dear, kiss me again... slowly
642
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,120
My love, dear, kiss me again...
643
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:37,400
My love, dear, kiss me again... slowly
644
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,080
Great!
645
00:39:17,240 --> 00:39:19,680
If you got this far
following in my steps,
646
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,160
that means your past is now behind you
647
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,360
and you're a XXI century man.
648
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:28,000
And also, you got laid. There you go!
649
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,440
You take care of the caps
and I'll get the machines?
650
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:32,600
Sure...
651
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:34,440
Good morning, I got laid!
652
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:36,680
- Hi, Maria.
- Hey!
653
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:38,680
It didn't seem like it,
it was all going to...
654
00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:41,001
But I did, I got laid. I got laid,
and besides that, well.
655
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,120
With this, that, and everything else...
The whole thing.
656
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,320
And you came here at 9 AM
just to tell me that?
657
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,560
Yes. No.
She kicked me out of her house.
658
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:53,200
- But I did want to come tell you.
- And how was...?
659
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,680
Getting laid?
Man, I remembered...
660
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:56,880
The girl, stupid.
661
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,080
Just a regular girl.
662
00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:04,640
The point is I accomplished
what I set out to do:
663
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,040
to fuck. Well, twice.
664
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:08,840
And get over your ex, right?
665
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,360
- Great.
- Really great...
666
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:13,840
And the new girl, what?
667
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,840
Have you already proposed
or you'll wait 8 years again?
668
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:20,520
What? Of course not.
This was just a hook up, nothing else...
669
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,480
I'm not going to get back
together with her...
670
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,400
I'm not going to do it again with her,
that's what I mean.
671
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:29,080
Because I won't.
Not at all. I have to go.
672
00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:30,520
- Bye, Maria.
- Bye...
673
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,360
Where do you know that guy from?
674
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:38,320
From school. I was hung up on him
when I was 15.
675
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,880
- He's not your type at all.
- I know...
676
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,840
Yes, I'm calling Ana.
677
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,520
But it doesn't mean I want
to get back together with her, alright?
678
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,520
I'm just calling her to see
how she is...
679
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:06,800
- That's all.
- Hi, it's Ana.
680
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:08,920
It's simply the polite thing to do.
681
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,880
When you hook up with a girl,
you have to call her.
682
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,560
Why? Because... you know.
683
00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:19,200
It's just standard procedure
when you hook up with your ex.
684
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,680
Ana? Hey, what's up?
685
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,760
I was thinking that...
We could grab something to eat?
686
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,920
No? Okay then.
It's no big deal.
687
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:33,560
I didn't mean today though...
688
00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:37,120
If you can today... Hold on, let me
think if I can. Yeah, today I can.
689
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,560
I don't think I understand
if you're saying
690
00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:41,880
that today you can't
but you can another day
691
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,200
or if today you could
but really you don't want to.
692
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:46,600
You don't want to.
693
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,440
Okay. That's fine.
694
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,360
Talk to you later. Yeah. Sure.
695
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:52,920
Yeah, yeah. Bye.
696
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,000
She must be really busy
with her things...
697
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,600
Have you thought
about shaving your dick?
698
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,360
Not recently, no,
because, you shouldn't...
699
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:09,440
What do you mean exactly?
700
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:13,200
It's just that with all that stuff on,
I can't really read your face.
701
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:17,080
I mean your bush.
Your afro down below.
702
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,440
That grove of tendrils.
703
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,880
I mean if you wax your fucking balls.
704
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:24,760
Oh, that...
705
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,040
No, no I don't.
706
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:31,280
The ladies love it.
I just got a Croatian bikini line wax.
707
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,320
It's all the rage. Want to see?
708
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,200
Marcos, explain this to me:
709
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:56,240
"Sporting may be a Division 2 team,
but the players' legs are Number 1."
710
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:58,560
Wait, there's more.
711
00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:02,640
"The best part about the Elche win
was seeing the striker's magnificent abs
712
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:04,696
when he pulled off his shirt
while celebrating the goal."
713
00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:07,320
Why the fuck would you be talking
about anybody's abs?
714
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,440
Do you want to get fired?
Are we insane?
715
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,200
- You.
- Lorena, wait...
716
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,336
You're the one behind
the Twitter comments from Second?
717
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,360
It's him, but this kid
is just going through a rough time...
718
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:18,520
I don't care.
719
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:22,720
I could care less if it were a mistake,
or if soccer players make you horny.
720
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:25,200
What we have here is a trending topic.
721
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,160
- What?
- Yes, dear, yes.
722
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,680
So as of tomorrow
you'll change positions
723
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,240
and you start to cover
the games from First.
724
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:36,240
And of course,
you'll have a 10% raise.
725
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,640
If that's not good enough, too bad.
726
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,280
What do I know, what do I know...
727
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,360
You never know anything.
728
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,200
Go fuck yourself.
729
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,520
Have you ever sang in the street?
730
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:14,680
A thousand times!
731
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:17,520
It's the best way
to get used to people ignoring you.
732
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,640
They don't ignore you. They mock you,
insult you, throw chewed up food...
733
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:24,080
But then, when you get up
on the stage...
734
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,600
They applaud you! It's... amazing.
735
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,320
I just don't get how you stand up
in front of people singing,
736
00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:34,520
and actually enjoy it.
I would freak out. With you.
737
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,120
- Is that for me?
- No...
738
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,600
Because I don't know if it would
get along with my dragons.
739
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,360
Yeah... Let's go.
740
00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:50,720
It's for that girl!
741
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,120
But didn't you tell me
it was just a hook up?
742
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:59,240
Yeah, but tomorrow is her birthday
and I should get her something.
743
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,400
How do you know
that her birthday is tomorrow?
744
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:03,680
Because she told me.
745
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,320
But you told me
you hardly had any time to talk,
746
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,400
that she practically jumped on you.
747
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,400
- Yeah, but...
- How did she tell you?
748
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,120
While you were doing it?
749
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:15,560
What?
750
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,000
- What's wrong with you?
- Oh yes!
751
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,120
You're amazing, young Marcos!
752
00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:28,200
By the way, did I tell you
that my birthday is November 15th?
753
00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:31,720
- I'm a Sagittarius!
- Scorpio.
754
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,320
With a Taurus...
755
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:38,040
ascendant!
756
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:41,280
Something like that?
757
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,440
- A bit more calm, but pretty close.
- Great.
758
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,920
Excuse me, could you do that again
but at the end say Libra? Please.
759
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:53,160
- We need to be at the zoo by 4.
- Please, I'll pay you 20 euros! 30!
760
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:57,040
You just made me lose 30 euros.
761
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:58,400
Run, run, he's coming.
762
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,120
Hi, it's Ana. Leave a message
and I'll call you back. Thanks.
763
00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:30,200
Diego, watch the plant, man.
It'll get smashed.
764
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:38,000
What's up? Come on.
765
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:43,000
I've just been thinking
about something for a few days.
766
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:45,280
You're with someone.
767
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:49,840
What? But... How could I be
with anyone, with someone?
768
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,120
Let's see, man.
769
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,000
For a month now you haven't been
a pain in the ass about your ex
770
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,560
and that can only mean that
you've gotten over your ex,
771
00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:59,096
and if you've gotten over her,
it's because you're with someone.
772
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,360
- Crystal clear.
- No, no... It's not like that...
773
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:08,360
I knew it. My little rascal.
Do I know her?
774
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,360
You don't know her.
Why would you know her?
775
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:14,040
Okay, fine.
Welcome to the world of the living.
776
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:15,200
How was the blowjob?
777
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:19,360
Diego, look,
I have a ton of things to put away.
778
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,120
It's fine, I'll leave you in peace.
779
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:24,000
The important thing here
is that you've finally told your ex
780
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:25,360
to go fuck herself.
781
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,200
Everything else is meaningless,
I told you so. Champ.
782
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:29,360
Champ.
783
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,680
Did you buy me the creams I asked for?
784
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:36,400
Yes.
785
00:47:37,240 --> 00:47:38,680
And I brought you something else.
786
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,520
Korean face masks.
787
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,400
Have you seen the skin Koreans have?
788
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,056
I've seen it while I watch
ping pong tournaments. It's so matte.
789
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,680
Look at mine. Nice, right?
790
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,880
- Yeah...
- Take this. Here's one for you.
791
00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,680
Did you end up buying that
for the girl?
792
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:00,840
We haven't seen each other much lately.
793
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,416
So, she doesn't pay any
attention to you?
794
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,360
I'm not going to beat myself up over it..
795
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,440
She doesn't want to meet up?
We don't. That's it, her loss.
796
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,360
We're all adults now.
797
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:14,120
What?
798
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,536
Nothing, it's just that I don't get
why she slept with me.
799
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,000
And she was grinding on me.
800
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:22,120
If you grind, it means you want
to fuck again. Why isn't she calling?
801
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:24,400
Can you pass me that dragon?
802
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,520
Last time she told me: "I'll call you".
803
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:30,520
What does that mean?
804
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,680
The last time? How many times
have you called her?
805
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,400
Once... five, ten, fifteen times.
Last week.
806
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:39,800
Would you pass me the dragon
or should I just get it?
807
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,040
I'll pick it up for you
doing a squat.
808
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:43,280
A what?
809
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,760
It's something you would know
if you did CrossFit.
810
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,000
Look.
811
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,600
Grab it like this
and put your legs back.
812
00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:53,720
Fuck...
813
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:01,600
- I'll get your discharge papers ready.
- Okay.
814
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:14,080
- What did they tell you?
- I have a herniated disc...
815
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:15,520
A what?
816
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:20,080
A herniated disc from prolonged strain
with no criteria.
817
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,760
I don't know why
you do so much weight lifting...
818
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:30,760
No, I know. It's for that mystery girl
of yours that doesn't even notice you.
819
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,536
She's not my girl, she isn't a mystery
and I don't do it for her.
820
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,560
- What are you doing in a wheelchair?
- They gave it to me to take you home.
821
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:39,000
But I can stand up and walk.
822
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,360
- But this wheelchair is way cooler.
- Can you give me that chair back?
823
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,640
I already told you not to take it,
it belongs to a patient.
824
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,040
I was going to give it back next week...
825
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:56,000
Hi.
826
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:57,040
Today?
827
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:03,160
You caught me in the middle of work,
I'll let you know later, ok?
828
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:04,880
Yeah, bye.
829
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:08,480
Was it her?
830
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:12,360
Are you going to meet her?
831
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:14,256
How am I supposed to meet her?
Just look at me...
832
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:16,920
You're going to meet her
and I'll be the one going to her house,
833
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:19,600
getting you out of bed, naked,
and bringing you back to the ER.
834
00:50:19,720 --> 00:50:21,840
I'm not going to meet her!
I don't care what she says.
835
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:23,536
- You're going to meet her.
- No, I won't.
836
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,280
- You're going to meet...
- If I say no, I mean no.
837
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:29,600
Hold on to me tighter.
838
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:32,200
Come on, tight like that.
839
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,440
- Just a little time out?
- Are you okay?
840
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:39,520
- I'm great, I'm very good.
- Get on top.
841
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:44,760
- On top? Fine. On the side?
- No, on top.
842
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,000
Okay.
843
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,800
- I'm coming.
- Come on.
844
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,120
- Come on, harder!
- I'm getting there...
845
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:10,480
Come on!
846
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,160
What? You already finished?
847
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:16,080
Perhaps.
848
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:20,040
- Don't leave me like this.
- I won't leave you like that. No...
849
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,440
You'll see what I'm about to do.
850
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,360
- Hello.
- Hello.
851
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:48,400
- You went, didn't you?
- Indeed I did.
852
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:51,040
And?
853
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:54,520
I really hurt myself.
854
00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:00,080
She could have killed me.
855
00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:01,440
I've brought you a gift.
856
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:07,600
I don't even know why I ask but,
you didn't buy this food, did you?
857
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,160
No, it's from a VIP room
858
00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:12,480
but I promise
no nurses saw me this time.
859
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,040
That's reassuring.
860
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:17,920
I can take it back, but it was from
an old man who didn't even have teeth.
861
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,920
No, without any teeth, there's no point.
What's the shoe for?
862
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:22,120
To open the bottle.
863
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,680
- Does it open like that?
- Theoretically.
864
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,000
It worked!
865
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,040
Are you plucking your eyebrows?
866
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:16,760
I'm making sure
that they don't grow into a unibrow.
867
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:25,600
Look, Marcos,
I've been thinking about something.
868
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:28,640
What have you thought?
869
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,880
I think you need a guys' night out.
870
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:36,320
I mean, nights like we used to have.
Beers, guys, and soccer.
871
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,600
Yeah, it's been so long
since we've done that.
872
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:42,200
Exactly. That's settled.
Problem solved.
873
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,720
- Tonight we'll hang out at my house.
- Okay.
874
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:47,160
See you later, big guy.
875
00:53:51,720 --> 00:53:52,720
Okay.
876
00:53:54,720 --> 00:53:55,880
Guys, get over here,
877
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:57,920
- the second half is about to start.
- Coming.
878
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:01,120
Before, for example, you'd invite
them for a drink, and that was it,
879
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,456
now they ask you out,
and you don't have the moral strength
880
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:04,576
to get them into bed with you.
881
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:07,040
- If you open the door for them...
- You're a chauvinist.
882
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:08,440
And if not, you're rude.
883
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,160
You don't know
how to connect with them.
884
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,256
We no longer have
a model of masculinity to follow.
885
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:16,760
Then you gotta smell good, be funny,
dress well, know how to cook...
886
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,200
I've already taken three
cooking classes just to keep up.
887
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:21,040
Seriously?
888
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:24,040
Asian cooking, Japanese,
and now I'm taking one on desserts.
889
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,480
I love that one
but I'm getting a little...
890
00:54:26,720 --> 00:54:29,440
And you keep having this feeling
like you're still not there yet?
891
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,720
Wait until we take
the Thermomix class...
892
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,160
Diego, could you turn down
the volume a bit?
893
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,240
Come on, that's enough!
Go fuck yourselves.
894
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,400
Come on, go home.
895
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,160
- What's wrong?
- Go chit chat elsewhere.
896
00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:43,520
- I'm sick of this.
- What's going on?
897
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,560
Come on, time to leave.
That's enough. There's the door.
898
00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:48,600
Go fuck yourself.
899
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:50,520
No, you stay.
900
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,120
Bye. See you later.
901
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:55,960
- What's going on?
- What the hell is up with you?
902
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,440
Nothing's wrong with me.
Why are you so pissed off?
903
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:00,496
I'm pissed off because
I don't recognize you, Marcos.
904
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,200
I look at you and
I don't know who you are.
905
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,760
Don't tell me this has to do
with those articles?
906
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:07,320
Because of the articles,
because you're sharing recipes,
907
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:10,240
because you're plucking your eyebrows,
where is all this going!
908
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,880
You're not even watching the game,
which was the whole point.
909
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,720
- I'm watching the game.
- Really? How's it going?
910
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,880
- It's going well.
- You've turned into a woman.
911
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:32,160
Why is it that when men insult
each other they compare you to us?
912
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,360
- It's terrible.
- No idea, I don't do that.
913
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,200
It's true that I'm doing things
that before I thought were nonsense,
914
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,760
just to try it, but plucking
or whatever, cooking, exercising,
915
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,456
aren't strictly things
a man or woman does.
916
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:45,160
Just listen to yourself
and you know for sure you are a man
917
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,120
- in every sense of the word.
- What does that mean?
918
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:50,800
For starters, you're a whiner.
919
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:54,320
- I'm a whiner?
- You are. All of you.
920
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,160
But you at least laugh at yourself,
and that's a good thing.
921
00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,080
I have plenty of reasons to,
that's for sure.
922
00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:01,240
- This is why you wanted to see me?
- No.
923
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:03,536
I brought you here because
since we've become friends
924
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:05,376
I've been remembering a lot
of things from our time at school.
925
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:07,760
I used to sit here,
with my black hoodie,
926
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,040
- with my discman...
- The discman!
927
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:14,080
I'd listen to a lot of depressing songs
and be the bad guy here.
928
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:18,040
I'd wallow in how bad life treated me
until the sun would go down.
929
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:21,360
Isn't this place beautiful?
930
00:56:53,240 --> 00:56:55,560
The first time I had sex
with my first girlfriend
931
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,040
she cracked up when she came.
932
00:57:00,240 --> 00:57:03,000
I had never done this
and so I thought:
933
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:04,680
"I guess this is normal..."
934
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:07,480
And so I started to laugh as well,
like an idiot.
935
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:10,320
- To go along with it!
- To not ruin the mood.
936
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,120
She started laughing all the time
and I got used to it.
937
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:14,920
The problem was when she dumped me
938
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,136
and I started hooking up
with other girls who didn't laugh
939
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:21,360
I always thought that it was me
who was bad at sex.
940
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:23,200
And how many girlfriends have you had?
941
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:26,000
Girlfriends, three.
Three hook ups as well. And you?
942
00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:27,440
Hook ups, a lot.
943
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,760
Boyfriends, like those
you go to the movies with
944
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:32,240
and go on holidays, not many...
945
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:36,160
- My first was when I was 16...
- What? 16! That's not true.
946
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,736
At that age, girls wouldn't even
let us grope them.
947
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:39,360
I did. I liked it.
948
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:43,280
Where would I be...
Hooking up with my ex.
949
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:52,280
I dunno, the thing
with long relationships... It's like...
950
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,680
I just don't do well with it.
951
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,360
- It doesn't work for me, I don't know.
- Why not?
952
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:02,000
I dunno. The longest relationship
I've had is with music.
953
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:05,480
No one has ever made me feel
the same way.
954
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:07,920
I swear, though, I feel it in my vagina.
955
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,800
It's good to feel it there.
956
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,000
What?
957
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,040
- A ball-grabber?
- A what?
958
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:19,920
You remember? Ball-grabber!
959
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:34,000
I haven't done this in...
Who knows.
960
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:35,160
Me neither.
961
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:12,400
- The Proclaimers!
- No!
962
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,360
- The track I recorded for you!
- Awesome!
963
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:16,640
Come with me!
964
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:19,120
Come up here!
965
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:20,280
- I can't!
- Come on!
966
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:21,520
I can't, I can't.
967
00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:25,240
Why? No one knows you here,
it doesn't matter!
968
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,000
- I can't.
- Come on!
969
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:40,600
Come! Don't leave me here alone.
970
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,880
It's greater than me. I can't.
I'd die of shame.
971
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,800
I'd panic.
I can't dance. It can't happen.
972
01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:01,360
Marcos!
973
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:05,880
Why didn't you answer your phone?
974
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:09,440
- Because I'm really busy...
- Hi, I'm Ana.
975
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:12,160
Ana?
976
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:15,920
I'm Raquel, a friend.
But I was just about to leave.
977
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,360
- No...
- It's okay, see you later.
978
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:21,520
Come on, let's have a drink.
979
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:36,600
Hold on, hold on.
980
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:38,920
Don't take off your clothes, please.
981
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:40,120
What's wrong?
982
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,520
It's just that...
I'm a little tired of this.
983
01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:49,880
Us having sex and being
kind of together again, I don't think...
984
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,360
Marcos, you never understand anything...
985
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:57,360
- You and I aren't together.
- I know that, of course. Not at all.
986
01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:00,040
- But if we keep doing this...
- I'm getting married.
987
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:01,800
- You what?
- I'm getting married.
988
01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:06,000
I wanted to tell you
but I didn't know how...
989
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:11,640
My boyfriend has been in Berlin
for a while but is coming back tomorrow.
990
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:15,520
Motherfucker!
991
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,400
That's what I should have told her.
992
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,720
Mother... how do you say
"motherfucker" in your language?
993
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:24,280
"Nijamada..."
is what I should have told her.
994
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,400
But instead... instead of that,
I go and say...
995
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:31,440
I'm glad you're fine.
996
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:34,320
I know, and...
997
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,160
are you going to come to the wedding?
998
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,280
Most likely...
999
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:46,800
Yes, of course.
1000
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:48,600
Thank you.
1001
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:56,400
I'm such an idiot!
How do you say "idiot"?
1002
01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:59,680
"Nijuantan", the biggest one of all.
1003
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:01,400
And you know what?
1004
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:04,600
It's over.
1005
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:08,360
I really mean it.
It's over, tell her to fuck off!
1006
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,600
I don't want anything, thanks.
1007
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:49,680
STUPID
1008
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,880
- What are we looking for?
- Look, this one...
1009
01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:58,080
Let's see, which one?
1010
01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:00,800
It's a shoe box...
Look inside, look inside.
1011
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:01,720
Here?
1012
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,240
With cassette tapes
and other music things.
1013
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:06,040
Not that one,
these are my sewing things.
1014
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:08,280
Look, really.
You wanna get up here?
1015
01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:10,600
- Come on, get down.
- No, you get up here.
1016
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:13,160
Of course! Take a look.
1017
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,440
I'm telling you it's not here...
1018
01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,160
But it has to be somewhere.
Because then...
1019
01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:22,400
- Careful.
- Now look at what I've done.
1020
01:04:35,360 --> 01:04:38,640
TWEET ME
1021
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:14,600
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED
ANA AND LUIS MIGUEL
1022
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:21,360
So all this time you've been
having sex with your ex,
1023
01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:23,320
who has obviously been using you,
1024
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:25,320
and she is marrying someone else now.
1025
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:26,640
Kind of a bitch.
1026
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:30,000
A bit of a bitch,
but you're an idiot.
1027
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:31,640
And you know what kills me?
1028
01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:35,400
Ana has been leading me on,
but I've done the same to Raquel.
1029
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:37,760
- Who is Raquel?
- A friend.
1030
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:41,480
- At least tell me she's hot.
- She's hot, but it's not like that.
1031
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:46,120
We ran into each other a while back
but we've been friends since school.
1032
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,160
She was my friend's little sister
1033
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:52,000
and she was always asking me
to record songs for her.
1034
01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:53,320
We liked the same bands...
1035
01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:56,120
Dude, you idiot...
You've completely fallen for her...
1036
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:58,360
That's all we needed.
1037
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:00,160
You know what you have to do.
1038
01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:03,200
I know, get on a bunch of apps
and hook up with lots of women.
1039
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:06,520
But you know what's wrong?
That doesn't work for me.
1040
01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:09,720
I'm going home.
1041
01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:13,920
Go home,
because you need to focus a bit.
1042
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:22,280
HOW TO STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE
1043
01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:36,440
Thanks for choosing
the greatest self-help channel
1044
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:37,680
in all the Hispanic world.
1045
01:06:37,880 --> 01:06:40,200
Because when you need help,
you can you turn to?
1046
01:06:40,360 --> 01:06:41,640
Family? Friend...
1047
01:06:58,200 --> 01:06:59,200
Hi.
1048
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,480
Hi Raquel, you got
some flowers with a card.
1049
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:05,440
Look, I think that this design,
1050
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:08,400
if we cut the flower,
it would fit perfectly...
1051
01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:19,440
"Among all the things you hate,
I think there is room for me.
1052
01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:22,600
Tomorrow, I have a work party.
I'd like you to come.
1053
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:25,040
P.S.: If you don't want to come,
I'll understand.
1054
01:07:25,200 --> 01:07:26,880
P.S.S.: But please come..."
1055
01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:51,560
- I loved Nadal's tweet.
- Yeah?
1056
01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:53,280
- You're about to take off.
- Well...
1057
01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:54,480
How do you do it?
1058
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:57,120
- What's up guys?
- How's it going?
1059
01:07:57,280 --> 01:07:59,520
- Good, could we talk for a moment?
- Of course.
1060
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:00,680
Alone.
1061
01:08:02,360 --> 01:08:04,400
There are two things
I want to ask you.
1062
01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:07,560
- First, do you speak English?
- Yeah... I mean, of course.
1063
01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:09,640
Good, because next week
you're going to London.
1064
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:10,880
- Really?
- Yes.
1065
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:13,880
The bosses want you to do a "Tweet Me"
with the Premier League games.
1066
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,160
- Great.
- And secondly: let's fuck?
1067
01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:20,800
Let's eat? Thing is, I was snacking...
Wait, you said "let's eat?"
1068
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:24,080
No. I said let's fuck.
1069
01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:27,160
You know how this will end.
1070
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:29,200
- A Christmas gift.
- A big one.
1071
01:08:33,080 --> 01:08:34,560
- Hi.
- Hi.
1072
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:38,120
- Can I help you?
- Yeah, thanks, I'm looking for Marcos.
1073
01:08:38,440 --> 01:08:40,160
- You must be Raquel.
- Yes.
1074
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,000
I'm Diego.
1075
01:08:42,480 --> 01:08:45,120
- The Macho Alpha male.
- Well...
1076
01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:48,240
Excuse me, Marcos Garrido
is at the end of the hall to the right...
1077
01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:49,080
No, no. Tomy.
1078
01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:50,920
In the room with the garbage bins.
1079
01:08:51,120 --> 01:08:52,120
- There?
- Yes, in there.
1080
01:08:52,280 --> 01:08:55,400
Tomy, you're wrong.
He's not here yet. No, Raquel. Wait!
1081
01:08:56,920 --> 01:09:00,080
No, Lorena. There's been
a mistake here. No, really...
1082
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:03,080
- You and your big mouth, Tomy...
- What did I do now?
1083
01:09:03,880 --> 01:09:05,000
I said no...
1084
01:09:21,480 --> 01:09:22,480
Raquel!
1085
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:25,200
Raquel!
1086
01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:28,400
What?
1087
01:09:29,720 --> 01:09:30,720
Nothing happened.
1088
01:09:32,480 --> 01:09:34,400
Fuck, everything is screwed up.
1089
01:09:35,280 --> 01:09:37,440
Lorena is my boss, I don't like her.
1090
01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:39,680
You can fuck whoever you want.
1091
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:45,120
But what I don't get is
why you even invited me to this party.
1092
01:09:46,160 --> 01:09:47,560
Well, that's exactly...
1093
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:52,200
Look, what I wanted, today...
1094
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:57,080
I mean, what I want...
1095
01:09:57,800 --> 01:09:58,920
What?
1096
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:01,120
What do you want, Marcos?
1097
01:10:33,040 --> 01:10:35,480
- A bit messed up, right?
- What is a bit messed up?
1098
01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:38,800
Calm down, the one who went
to the trash room to fuck was you.
1099
01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:40,920
Screw fucking,
that has nothing to do with this!
1100
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:42,560
Why do you only think about fucking?
1101
01:10:42,720 --> 01:10:45,320
Don't freak out. Even though
you've changed your hairstyle
1102
01:10:45,480 --> 01:10:48,120
and bought four shirts,
you're still the same loser as always.
1103
01:10:48,280 --> 01:10:50,160
Calm down, guys.
I've got a solution.
1104
01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:52,120
If you want to patch things up
with that girl,
1105
01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:54,080
tomorrow there is
a Thermomix demonstration.
1106
01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:56,720
- It's like the new Ferrari for women!
- It's the new nothing!
1107
01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:59,080
Besides, what do you know about women.
1108
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:01,320
Speak for yourself,
we're doing alright here.
1109
01:11:01,480 --> 01:11:04,320
Yes, you're awesome.
How long have you been after Susana?
1110
01:11:05,040 --> 01:11:06,120
A month.
1111
01:11:06,280 --> 01:11:08,680
My balls one month!
A year of begging her, at least.
1112
01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:09,880
And what have you landed?
1113
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:13,400
I think we are laying out
a solid base for the future...
1114
01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:16,200
And as you do that, you know
who brought in his crane? This one.
1115
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:18,200
- What?
- What are you saying?
1116
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,600
Mariano, how are things
with Elena? Good?
1117
01:11:21,480 --> 01:11:24,640
At a party the other day
we talked for three hours...
1118
01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:27,720
You know where she was for three
hours getting laid after? His house.
1119
01:11:27,920 --> 01:11:29,600
I never slept with her.
1120
01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:31,400
Are you an idiot or what?
1121
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:35,600
Marcos, have you seen your friend?
I told her you were in the trash room...
1122
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:37,200
Silvia, 28 years old, brown eyes.
Less than 1 km. away.
1123
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:38,600
She likes brown cats.
1124
01:13:40,360 --> 01:13:41,920
You are a motherfucker.
1125
01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:49,400
I really crossed the line
the other day. Sorry.
1126
01:13:51,400 --> 01:13:53,800
The only thing I'm sorry for
is that you're not Silvia.
1127
01:13:54,040 --> 01:13:56,760
But I have brown eyes,
is that good enough?
1128
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:07,040
Then, are you sure?
You're going to London?
1129
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:09,480
It's a good opportunity for work.
1130
01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:11,200
And Raquel? What happened?
1131
01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:13,920
Nothing happened
because I'm a coward.
1132
01:14:15,720 --> 01:14:17,520
And since I don't want to be
rejected again
1133
01:14:17,680 --> 01:14:19,520
I'd rather just forget about it
somewhere else.
1134
01:14:21,080 --> 01:14:24,240
You can be so many things,
and a bit stupid is one of them...
1135
01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:26,040
But not a coward.
1136
01:14:28,680 --> 01:14:32,000
I know lately I've been a real pain
in the ass about my girlfriends.
1137
01:14:32,160 --> 01:14:33,880
But when I get back from London,
1138
01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:37,080
will you tell me what is it
that scares you so much?
1139
01:14:41,920 --> 01:14:44,240
They say that English girls
love to dress up.
1140
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:45,720
Maybe I'll go and visit you.
1141
01:14:46,440 --> 01:14:49,400
I also like to dress up.
Come see me.
1142
01:14:56,240 --> 01:14:57,320
Again!
1143
01:14:57,480 --> 01:14:59,360
Dad, let me in!
This is really heavy!
1144
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:12,200
Son, I know you're not stupid,
the school psychologist told us,
1145
01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:16,080
but try to focus a bit.
You're too old to be wasting time.
1146
01:15:16,240 --> 01:15:18,040
I'm going to London, I got promoted.
1147
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:20,760
This time it's for real, they told me.
1148
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:22,616
But I'm leaving you these things
to hold on for me.
1149
01:15:22,640 --> 01:15:24,880
Don't sell them on Wallapop,
these are mine.
1150
01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:26,880
- Hi, Marcos!
- Hi, mom.
1151
01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:30,400
Hey, I think I found that box
you were looking for.
1152
01:15:34,680 --> 01:15:37,000
I'll take a look at this...
1153
01:16:05,320 --> 01:16:06,480
Good morning.
1154
01:16:15,360 --> 01:16:17,240
Okay, I've been stupid and an idiot.
1155
01:16:17,400 --> 01:16:19,360
But I'm not a coward.
1156
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:22,880
I'm not a coward,
I'm not a coward.
1157
01:16:23,440 --> 01:16:24,720
I'm not a coward...
1158
01:16:26,320 --> 01:16:27,880
Now I know why you left me.
1159
01:16:28,480 --> 01:16:30,320
Marcos, now's not the best time...
1160
01:16:30,480 --> 01:16:32,896
Sorry, this will only take a minute.
I'm Marcos, the ex-boyfriend.
1161
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:34,320
Francisco, Maribel, how's it going?
1162
01:16:35,360 --> 01:16:38,480
You left me because you didn't love me.
It's okay, I didn't love you either.
1163
01:16:38,640 --> 01:16:40,560
- Marcos...
- But I want to thank you.
1164
01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:43,640
Because you said something
the day you dumped me
1165
01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:45,200
that at that time I didn't see.
1166
01:16:45,360 --> 01:16:47,880
That this was for the best
for both of us and you were right.
1167
01:16:48,080 --> 01:16:50,360
Now you'll be happy with...
What's your name?
1168
01:16:50,520 --> 01:16:51,520
Luis Miguel.
1169
01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:53,040
With Luis Miguel.
1170
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:54,920
- And I...
- Marcos, enough!
1171
01:16:55,120 --> 01:16:57,520
I just want to, as your ex-partner,
1172
01:16:58,320 --> 01:17:00,360
congratulate you. Really.
1173
01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:08,120
Luis Miguel, I'm sorry.
1174
01:17:09,560 --> 01:17:12,200
While you were in Berlin
she was fucking me.
1175
01:17:12,360 --> 01:17:14,040
She's a bit of a bitch.
1176
01:19:49,400 --> 01:19:50,400
Okay.
1177
01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:54,760
But I want you to know you found me
at a weird time in my life.
1178
01:19:55,120 --> 01:19:57,576
I tried to change everything
just to be a man of the XXI century.
1179
01:19:57,600 --> 01:20:00,360
But that was so dumb...
what does that even mean?
1180
01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,560
Because now I like exercising
and eating better.
1181
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:06,640
But apps for hooking up don't work
for me, nor the sexymojis.
1182
01:20:07,120 --> 01:20:09,480
And really, I'd prefer that an eggplant
just be an eggplant.
1183
01:20:09,520 --> 01:20:12,640
And I don't like it when pants
cut off the blood flow to my legs,
1184
01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:16,520
or wearing a S size jersey.
Instead, I still like my vinyls
1185
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:20,120
and the hair on my legs
and my music band shirts,
1186
01:20:20,280 --> 01:20:22,400
and I'm not going to give up
the things that I like.
1187
01:20:24,760 --> 01:20:27,000
Because, above all, I like you.
1188
01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:31,480
I like you because you don't have
to put on anything just to be yourself
1189
01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:33,160
and that to me is amazing.
1190
01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:35,480
And you know what you want.
1191
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:40,440
And if you want, you colour
your hair pink and dance barefoot.
1192
01:20:57,680 --> 01:20:58,680
No...
1193
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This is me. I know what I want.
1194
01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:06,640
And I love you, Raquel.
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01:21:27,600 --> 01:21:31,400
I LOVE YOU, STUPID
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01:21:40,040 --> 01:21:41,800
My name is Sebastian Venet.
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Venet with a V.
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I'm a holistic therapist.
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01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:50,200
I developed a discipline that
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01:21:50,360 --> 01:21:53,480
encompasses several disciplines
in the art of healing.
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01:21:55,040 --> 01:21:59,200
I treat patients all around the world
with my "EFUS" method.
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01:21:59,720 --> 01:22:01,600
Empowerment For You System.
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01:22:02,440 --> 01:22:04,760
I also train future "EFUS" masters.
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I do transpersonal yoga,
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somatic reiki,
top stream Vikram inferno,
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and shock therapy for couples
with self-defense techniques.
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01:22:20,040 --> 01:22:23,200
I was also sworn in
as a master in retro hypnosis
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through the Chang Fu
Mar de Plata Academy.
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01:22:26,360 --> 01:22:28,040
And well,
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01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:32,520
basically what I do is help people.
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Help people to... do everything.
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01:22:38,760 --> 01:22:40,160
Sebastian, time to eat!
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01:22:45,120 --> 01:22:46,520
Coming, mom!
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I'll edit this later.
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Subtitles: ECLAIR SPAIN
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