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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,134 Mayday. Mayday. Mayday. 2 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:09,052 This is Commander Kellogg of I. S.A. Space Station Horizon. 3 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,185 Transmission-- 4 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,064 --to Commander Drake. Tony, the crew has-- 5 00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:18,436 We are under-- I say again, we are under-- 6 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,070 7 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:21,856 Croatoan! 8 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,774 9 00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:26,785 And that, Mrs. Archer-- 10 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,196 "MS-II Don't. 11 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,741 Ah. "Ms." Archer, I beg your pardon. Don't. 12 00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:34,626 That was the last transmission from the Horizon. 13 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:36,583 Which, obviously, pretty vague. 14 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:40,750 Vague? You heard Commander Kellogg. He said the Horizon is under attack. 15 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,088 Well, under something. 16 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:43,969 He could've been saying "underfinanced." 17 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,174 What? Sterling... 18 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,932 What, they're always whining about needing more money for their boondocks. 19 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,308 What? Doggies. 20 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:53,016 You think space exploration is a boondoggle? 21 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,268 Well, come on, in this economy? 22 00:00:55,430 --> 00:01:00,231 Exactly. Now, more than ever, is when we need to look to space... 23 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,817 ...for the solution to mankind's problems. 24 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:08,403 In 200 years, Earth's population will exceed her capacity to produce food. 25 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,413 And even as the famines begin, global war will erupt... 26 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:14,826 ...as fresh water becomes scarcer than gold. 27 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:19,998 But if we begin now, using the lessons learned aboard Space Station Horizon... 28 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:24,259 ...a small group of brave colonists can terraform Mars. 29 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:27,922 And mankind can finally slip the surly bonds of Earth... 30 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,342 ...to live forever among the stars. 31 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,518 Yeah, Lana. Wha--? 32 00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,395 Jesus, read a book once in your life. 33 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:38,273 So where does ISIS fit in, commander? Well-- 34 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,732 I think that's a bit premature until we discuss our fee structure. 35 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,362 As to that, you can name your price. 36 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:47,274 Oh, now they've got-- Enough. 37 00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,864 Commander? As to our role? 38 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:54,624 Horizon has an international crew. American, German, Chinese, French-- 39 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:55,828 ARCHER: Ba-dum-bum! 40 00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,995 Uh, sorry. I thought "French" was a joke. 41 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,789 Is mutiny funny to you, Mr. Archer? 42 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,299 I don't know, maybe a mutiny of clowns. 43 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:08,008 Because I fear that one faction, led by radical nationalists, has mutinied. 44 00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:09,217 But who? Which one? 45 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,554 If he knew, he would tell us. Read a book. 46 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,595 And since I don't know which faction is behind the mutiny-- 47 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:16,887 If there even was one. 48 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:21,184 --I can't trust anyone at the I.S.A. which is why I came to ISIS. 49 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,897 Because of our loyalty. 50 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,563 Or lack thereof. Or whatever. 51 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,278 Because I need a small cadre of highly trained agents... 52 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,660 ...to fly into orbit and help me retake control of Horizon. 53 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,612 Nope. Archer. Yep. Lana. 54 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,407 He just said "highly trained." And last time I checked... 55 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:39,201 ...none of us were even lowly trained to be astronauts. 56 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,620 Well, how hard could it be? 57 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:41,833 Incredibly. 58 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,248 But since apparently money is no object... 59 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,963 The training schedule will have to be highly compressed. 60 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:49,548 The shuttle Intrepid is launching in three days. 61 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,430 And I won't lie to you. This mission will be dangerous. 62 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:56,219 Would you say we'd be venturing into a zone of danger? 63 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,932 Well, yes, obviously. 64 00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,893 No, I mean how would you phrase that? 65 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,899 L-- The zone will be one of danger? 66 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:06,028 No, I mean-- Not-- If you'd say the thing-- 67 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,233 Forget it. Never mind. 68 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,569 And you never mind and also shut up. 69 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,820 ARCHER: Ow! Jesus, Krieger, that's the bone. 70 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:53,693 Oh, the mean doctor takes the widdle baby's blood, and widdle baby goes-- Ow! 71 00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:58,080 You're a baby. And astronaut training sucks complete ass. Literally. 72 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,661 What is the deal with all the enemas? Uh... 73 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,371 And why do you need so much blood? 74 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,286 Wait. Now that I think about it, why-- 75 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,205 Why is this man in the restricted area? 76 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,714 Who? Him? 77 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,420 You. Krieger. 78 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,052 Uh, smoke bomb! 79 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,842 And why aren't you with the other trainees? 80 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:19,351 I was told I had to undergo a bunch of extremely invasive medical tests. 81 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:22,433 Well, normally you would, but by our doctors. 82 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,315 But since you're on such an accelerated training schedule-- 83 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:28,102 Six enemas is a luxury we can ill afford. Got it. 84 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,772 Six? Who knows? He put me under. Maybe 12. 85 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,613 Now you've wasted half a day, so the other trainees are way ahead of you. 86 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,744 ARCHER: Not for long they're not. 87 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,701 88 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,207 Well, he's eager, I'll give him that. 89 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:47,041 Well, you inspire him. With all those medals on that powerful chest. 90 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:50,549 Your wife is a very lucky-- Oh. I'm a widower. 91 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:54,211 Oh. Difficult to meet people, isn't it, in jobs like ours? 92 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:58,302 I only mention it because I also happen to be single. 93 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,259 Yes, I know. 94 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,177 Excuse me. 95 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,731 96 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,987 I hope to God that was alcohol. 97 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,397 LANA: No. Yes. 98 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,237 Damn it, Archer. It's my turn. Cyril. 99 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,743 Cyril, Drake said let me fly it. 100 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,576 Cut it out, Archer. I'm landing. COMPUTER: Fifty meters, 40... 101 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,661 Come on, baby, keep that nose up. 102 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,622 COMPUTER: ...30 meters... 103 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,708 Aah! What the--? COMPUTER: Explosive decompression. 104 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,087 105 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,414 ARCHER: Happy, Cyril? 106 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,583 You just destroyed Alderaan. 107 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:37,095 Damn it, that was closer than any of us have gotten to actually landing. 108 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:41,680 A, because you're all crap. And B, who cares? We're not gonna land it. 109 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,890 What the hell-- DRAKE: ls going on in here? 110 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:47,056 Archer-- Saw an electrical fire in the simulator. 111 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:50,066 And knowing that my colleague's life was in danger, I-- 112 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,272 Acted without thinking. 113 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,562 As always. Not always. 114 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,696 Well, thank God you did. 115 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,529 What--? But almost always. 116 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:01,696 Because that's exactly the kind of decisive action this mission calls for. 117 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,159 You could all learn from him. 118 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,698 Oh, my God. Come on. 119 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,620 Starting with a little training exercise we lightheartedly call... 120 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,628 ...the Vomit Comet! 121 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,289 122 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,795 And if you're wondering why we call it that... 123 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,426 124 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,303 GILLETTE: It's all in my hair. 125 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,342 CYRIL: Oh, Jeezy H. Petes. 126 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,303 ARCHER: The hell is wrong with you, Lana? 127 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,933 DRAKE: That's why we call it that. 128 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:28,814 What possible reason could there be to subject human beings to-- 129 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,565 130 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,145 Such mind-shattering awesomeness! 131 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:38,407 The KC-135 flies in a parabolic arc-- 132 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,818 Ha, ha. Who cares? 133 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:44,989 --Which allows us to achieve weightlessness for about 30 seconds. 134 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,999 We'll do this 20 times... ARCHER: Whoo! 135 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,250 Weightlessness! 136 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,538 ...so you can get acquainted with the sensation of being weightless. 137 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:56,004 It takes some time getting used to, but-- Ow. 138 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,294 Agent Kane, are you all right? 139 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,087 Yep, yep, Yep- 140 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,926 What is going on with you? 141 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,135 Do not like. 142 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:06,723 What, are you crazy? What's not to-- Oh. 143 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,645 No. Archer, no! 144 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,602 Yes! Please don't do this. 145 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,689 What's that? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of the-- 146 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,694 147 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,235 Come on! 148 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:22,901 Looking good! Only 19 more to go! 149 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,200 LANA: Nineteen more times... 150 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:30,334 ...until there was literally no more fluid left in my body. 151 00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,711 And thanks so much for that. Cyril. 152 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,964 She's not the one who kept riding you into it, holding your mouth open. 153 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:39,046 Jeez. Even in zero gravity, you're an asshole. 154 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,088 You were saying? To the wet-towel wielding survivor... 155 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,676 ...of 15 years of boarding school locker rooms? 156 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:45,965 Wait, 15? 157 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,554 Or whatever. The normal number. 158 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:49,014 Twelve? DRAKE: Yes. 159 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:50,394 We will launch in 12 hours. 160 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,682 We received another transmission from the Horizon. They can't wait. 161 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,897 But we haven't been trained properly! To what? Wear a seat belt? 162 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,108 Actually, is it a five-point harness, or--? 163 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,898 I admit this isn't an ideal scenario. 164 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,784 Speaking of, what's the scenario when we get to the Horizon? 165 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,820 We don't have a tactical plan. We don't-- 166 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,536 Plenty of time to discuss our plan during the flight. 167 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:12,247 But-- Lana. What has gotten into you? 168 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,252 More like what got out of her. 169 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:18,336 Sir, I'm not sure Lana-- Sorry, honey-- is physically capable of spaceflight. 170 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,502 Ray. Actually, I might not be cut out for it. 171 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:24,467 I'm sorry to hear that, Agent Kane. 172 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,260 Because you're going. 173 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,764 174 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,640 To a zone... 175 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,606 ...which is one of danger. 176 00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,566 177 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,277 COMPUTER: T-minus 90 seconds. 178 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,617 DRAKE: Roger, Control. All systems are go. 179 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,452 Next stop, Horizon. 180 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:52,706 Okay. Archer? 181 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,960 I'm sorry. Are you talking to me? 182 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,746 Or to her? Who-- Why is she here? 183 00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:00,085 MALORY: Because Tony invited me. ARCHER: Tony? 184 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,001 You trying to get my mother into the Million-Mile-High Club? 185 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,420 Sterling. Archer. 186 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:08,307 Would you calm the hell down? I am calm! I'm also out of here. 187 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,967 Take your hands off that harness. 188 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,477 Make me. And just so you know. 189 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,682 She-- Aah! 190 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,480 Can't breathe. 191 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:19,142 MAN : Flight, we're showing suit number two with an O2 malfunction. 192 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,778 Double-check that. I'm showing green across the board. 193 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:24,815 MAN: Stand by. DRAKE: That's a roger, standing by. 194 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,073 195 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,530 MALORY: Tony, please. He'll behave. 196 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,070 Won't he? 197 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,617 DRAKE: Excellent. 198 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:32,827 199 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:37,244 Because I won't-- I can't-- let anyone jeopardize the success of this mission. 200 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:42,587 MAN: Flight, O2 on suit two is showing normal. But keep an eye on it. 201 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,342 Oh, I will. 202 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,674 Hooray. Resume countdown, Control. 203 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:47,837 MAN: Roger, Flight. 204 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,006 COMPUTER: T-minus five, four... 205 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,641 Exciting, isn't it? ...three... 206 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,552 ...two, one. 207 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,765 I think it is. 208 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,020 COMPUTER: Ignition. 209 00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:58,689 MAN: Liftoff. 210 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,356 211 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,942 Just relax and rely on your training. 212 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,698 Which we didn't have! 213 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,858 Because Phase Two is a little rough. 214 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,743 ARCHER: Phase Two? What's Phase--? 215 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,654 216 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,244 217 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,410 218 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,167 That was Phase Two. 219 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,668 Did not like. 220 00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,583 Wait till you see Phase Three. 221 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,001 ALL: What's Phase Three? 222 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,545 I'm kidding. There is no Phase Three. 223 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,220 Just a little space humor. 224 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,973 ARCHER: Yeah, funny stuff. 225 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,224 DRAKE: Right? 226 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,551 Right, then. 227 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,891 I want to brief you all on what to expect when we dock with Horizon. 228 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,557 Uh, can we expect a pharmacy? 229 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,350 Lana, it's not a strip mall. 230 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,235 Although, I assume there's a bar? 231 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,068 A bar? Or, whatever. Cantina? 232 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,741 Uh, no. Please pay attention. 233 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:53,403 We'll dock here, move forward on foot toward Horizon's bridge-- 234 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:54,742 Wait, on foot? 235 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,248 Horizon has artificial gravity. 236 00:10:57,407 --> 00:11:00,581 Look. See how it spins on its longitudinal axis? 237 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:01,790 Lana, look at it spin. 238 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,000 239 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,916 When we reach the bridge, we'll retake control of Horizon. 240 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:09,928 But we can expect heavy resistance. I'm sure the mutineers are armed. 241 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,929 With what, slide rules and Tang? 242 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:16,434 The M-41 Mark Two plasma-pulse rifle with concussion grenade launcher. 243 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:17,765 Holy shit! 244 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:21,852 On "kill" mode, the M-41 fires lethal plasma ammunition. 245 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:25,770 On "stun," it fires an ion pulse, similar to an EMP. 246 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,067 And can it be fired with an erection? 247 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,902 Oh, for God's sake. Archer! Muzzle! 248 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,566 Relax, it's on stun, Lana. 249 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,952 Careful. Even on stun, it can-- 250 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:35,578 251 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,705 Oops. 252 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,616 Clear. Clear! 253 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,794 Ow! 254 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:47,458 As I was saying, it's possible for the EMP to stop a man's heart. 255 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,878 So "stun" may be a bit of a misnomer. 256 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,091 Damn it, Archer. 257 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,846 I'm not the one who was all sweaty. 258 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:57,600 Mr. Archer, that's twice you've jeopardized the success of this mission. 259 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,136 There will not be a third. 260 00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:01,976 MAN : Uh, flight, we have a problem. 261 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:03,765 Well, don't look at me. 262 00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,104 DRAKE: My God. 263 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:09,146 On this trajectory, we'll miss Horizon. Control, what happened? 264 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,407 MAN: Burn rates were good. Flight, uh, stand by. 265 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:16,487 Uh, flight, we're showing that you are grossly overweight. 266 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:17,825 PAM: Oh, for-- 267 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,957 I wouldn't say grossly. CHERYL: I would. 268 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:25,837 DRAKE: I would be well within my rights to jettison both of you into space. 269 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,497 Well within them. Malory. 270 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,668 However, for, uh, numerous reasons... 271 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,507 ...one being, this ship can't actually do that... 272 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,172 ...I've decided take you with us. 273 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:36,385 274 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,595 But I want to know how you got aboard. 275 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,852 What do you mean, how? Mr. Ar-- 276 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:42,766 Archer! Whoa! 277 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,398 Yeah, so that safety is tricky, huh? 278 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,438 Clear. Clear! 279 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,443 PAM: Ow! 280 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,728 281 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,112 Awesome. 282 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,274 Son of a shit-snacking whore. 283 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,817 Mr. Figgis. 284 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:59,363 Lock that man in the cargo hold. 285 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:00,576 Who, me? 286 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,331 Aye-freaking-aye. 287 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,787 Ms. Archer. 288 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:07,454 In case I need to sterilize something. DRAKE: Get strapped in. 289 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,339 Agent Gillette, monitor this woman's vital signs. 290 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,718 Agent Kane, come with me. I may need some help getting us to Horizon. 291 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:18,636 So that we don't die writhing in agony, when we run out of oxygen. 292 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,675 Yeah, been there. No picnic. 293 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,470 Uh, speaking of, great for picnics. 294 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,059 The tofu teriyaki, not so much. 295 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,895 CHERYL: There's teriyaki? 296 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,230 CYRIL: No. Cyril, come on, let me out. 297 00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:33,818 No, you jerk. You shoot me in the heart with a space-blaster? 298 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,153 Are you k-- You're still mad about that? 299 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:40,162 Not to mention whatever idiot reason you had for smuggling Pam on board. 300 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:44,575 You're screwing him, aren't you? What? Yes. 301 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:48,917 No! Because if we don't die, for all I care, you can rot in there. 302 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:51,547 ARCHER: Cyril? Cyril! 303 00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:56,507 Well, good luck fighting a bunch of-- whatever-- space-pirates without me. 304 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:00,841 305 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,101 **** you, space. 306 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:12,644 DRAKE: Come on, baby, just a few more seconds! 307 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:15,564 Damn it! 308 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,776 I don't know if that was a long enough burn. Agent Kane, I need a readout. 309 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,326 Ugh! For God's sakes, woman. Dramamine! 310 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,458 It makes me sleepy. I think we're okay, sir. 311 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,244 Thank God, because we're out of fuel. 312 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,708 What? How are we gonna get back to Earth? 313 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,420 There is fuel. On Horizon. 314 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,630 Well, I didn't know that. 315 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,592 Flight computer will dock the ship. Assemble boarding party. 316 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:43,099 Nor was I told there would be a party. Lana, what are you wearing? 317 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,476 DRAKE: Bio-matrix composite body armor. 318 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:49,265 Effective against small-arms fire. And we need all the help we can get. 319 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,977 Since there's only four of us. 320 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,643 Yeah, that seems kind of few. 321 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,232 If you need help, I'll-- DRAKE: No. 322 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,114 We can't jeopardize the women. 323 00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,987 Cough. Well, not you. 324 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:04,450 No, Agent Kane, I'm afraid your particular skill-set outweighs your-- 325 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,829 326 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,956 COM P UTER: Docking complete. 327 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,409 Is that a ghost? Nope. 328 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,452 Boarding party, into the airlock. 329 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:13,254 COMPUTER: Gravity engaged. 330 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,166 Weapons on stun. Fast and hard to the bridge. 331 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:19,506 And remember, these are mutineers. Even if they try to-- 332 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:23,799 suppressing fire! 333 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:30,222 Ugh. Otherwise, just follow me. 334 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:33,107 And try not to shoot me in the-- Oh, shit. 335 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,268 What the hell? ls wrong with me? 336 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,689 It's the artificial gravity. You have to readjust to it. 337 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:41,108 I'll get my inner ear right on that. 338 00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,867 We don't have time for this. 339 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,072 MAN: There they are! 340 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,704 Drop your weapons. Drop your weapons! 341 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,365 Suppressing-- 342 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,499 343 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,377 Uh, so does this run on batteries, or--? 344 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,789 Fire! Aah! 345 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,791 346 00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,925 Get them! Get them! 347 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,552 Get them! MAN: Fire! 348 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:02,928 We're pinned down! 349 00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:04,722 Oh, really? 350 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,224 You don't think I could rock this? 351 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,726 Ahem. Couple things. 352 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,728 One, I don't know what that means. 353 00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:13,060 And two-- Hang on. 354 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,225 Hang on. 355 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,560 Hang on. 356 00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,362 Hang on. 357 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,194 358 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:29,414 And two, you obviously don't know what "boarding party" means. 359 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:33,076 Who am I, 16th century female Irish pirate Gréinne O'Malley? 360 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,961 Ah! Or her sole female descendant. 361 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,167 ARCHER: I'm sorry. 362 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,550 For what? Space-blastering me in the fricking tits? 363 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:44,383 Or tricking me into that fart-locker to get blasted into outer goddamn space... 364 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:47,424 ...on the off chance you might want to bang me? 365 00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:49,392 Both, I guess. Look-- 366 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:53,271 After you blew me off for Katya, the big-titted cyborg. 367 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,726 Little Miss, uh... 368 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:56,186 RZ-double-DZ? 369 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,396 Ha, ha, nice. 370 00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,778 Thanks. And I'm sorry, but you gotta let me out, Pam. 371 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,941 They're fighting space-pirates out there. With Cyril. 372 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,450 You're supposed to fire! 373 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:08,111 What is wrong with you? 374 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,950 ARCHER: And Lana can't even stand up. 375 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,614 You idiot, just reset the-- 376 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:12,907 377 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:15,452 Jesus, you're like a dog in a station wagon. 378 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,707 379 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,959 No. We're losing the beachhead. 380 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:22,671 ARCHER: They're running out of time, Pam. Oh, all right. 381 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,170 That being said... 382 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:27,929 Quickie? 383 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,640 Meh. 384 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,432 Whoo! Okay, good luck. 385 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:37,269 Thanks. Normally, I'd say I don't need it, but I can barely feel my legs. 386 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,900 I call that the MOAB. it stands for-- 387 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,814 I know what it stands for. I was there. Please don't say it out loud. 388 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,483 Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to... 389 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,863 Kick some space-pirate ass! Whoo! 390 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,156 ALL: Archer? Hang on. 391 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:57,702 Yes, Archer, duh. And if you're done doing each other's hair, let's-- 392 00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,836 DRAKE: Retake the ship! 393 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:02,419 Or just run around interrupting people. 394 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,505 DRAKE: Aah! I'm hit, I'm hit! 395 00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:05,759 Oh, for-- 396 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:09,055 Do I have to do everything? 397 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,182 He asked, intending to be facetious. 398 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,810 LANA: I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. 399 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,313 Besides suffering from gigantism? Shut up. 400 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,519 The bridge! We have to make it to the-- 401 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:23,687 ARCHER: The bridge. Yes, I heard you. So unless we're going the wrong way... 402 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,654 DRAKE: No, that's it right there. 403 00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,690 Then shut up. God. 404 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,734 Okay, now what? You can un-shut up. 405 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,902 The com-link, by the door. 406 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,322 Commander Kellogg? It's Drake. 407 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,866 Tony? ARCHER : "Tony"? 408 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:41,378 Oh, my God, am I glad to see you. We couldn't have held out much longer. 409 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,710 Well, we got here as fast as we could. 410 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,921 My God, you're wounded. Put him here. 411 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,051 Please, we'll take those. 412 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,304 ARCHER : Yeah, and here you go. 413 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,056 KELLOGG: Oh, dear, are you wounded too? 414 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,512 No, just-- DRAKE: Just a little space-sickness. 415 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:56,222 Eventually, she'll get acclimated. 416 00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,058 I'm-- Eventually? 417 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:01,224 Yes, she's strong. Good breeding stock. 418 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,564 Hey! Whoa, Charles Benedict Davenport. 419 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,526 Uh, the father of eugenics. 420 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:09,031 Seriously, guys, read a book. 421 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:13,570 And two more on the Intrepid. Stowaways, almost as good as her. 422 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:17,661 Two more? Then we can populate Mars even faster than we'd hoped. 423 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,246 CYRIL & GILLETTE: What? Did you say "Mars"? 424 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,082 Oh, now your ears-- 425 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,042 Wait, why did you say Mars? 426 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,422 MAN: Don't you see? 427 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,958 428 00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:30,094 They're the mutineers. Aah! 429 00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,053 430 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,593 Welcome to the... 431 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:41,059 ...Danger Zone. 432 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,218 32455

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