All language subtitles for Dr.Havocs.Diary.S01E25_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:13,754 [dramatic music] 2 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:20,817 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:25,087 ‐ Dear Diary. 4 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,962 Well, tonight was my first date 5 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,301 as a newly single man. 6 00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:33,127 I got to say, I had a pretty good time, 7 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,673 and I think she did too. 8 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,668 [inhales and exhales] 9 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:40,640 I mean, at least... [sighs] 10 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,911 right up until she died. 11 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:49,116 Wow, pretty empty theater. 12 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:50,916 Looks like we kind of lucked out, huh? 13 00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,918 ‐ Yeah, I guess. 14 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,160 ‐ Hey, down in front, old man. 15 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,555 Hey. ‐ Uh, okay. All right, 16 00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,528 we're just trying to find our seats. 17 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,827 Wow, those guys certainly seem excited to see this movie. 18 00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:05,330 Are you sure you don't want any popcorn? 19 00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:06,832 ‐ No, no, thanks. 20 00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:08,303 I'm pretty full from the dinner. 21 00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:10,272 ‐ Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a pretty big steak 22 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,170 you had, which is fine. 23 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:13,542 I mean, I'm not‐‐ 24 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:17,010 I'm not trying to say‐‐ I love steak. 25 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,910 I'm not complaining about the money. 26 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,652 ‐ It's fine. Really, it's fine. 27 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:29,818 ‐ So, Michelle, um... 28 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,893 when, uh, how‐‐where are you‐‐ you from Phoenix? 29 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:36,763 ‐ No, uh, I actually grew up in Flagstaff. 30 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,703 ‐ Oh, is that much different? 31 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,529 ‐ No, not really. 32 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:41,574 ‐ Oh. Oh, well. 33 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,438 ‐ Oh, man, fuck you, you fuckin' fucker. 34 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,738 [laughs] 35 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,909 ‐ Wow. Sure do hope they, 36 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:52,378 uh, quiet down before the previews start, right? 37 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:55,049 ‐ Well, why don't we just ask them to be quiet now? 38 00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,218 ‐ No, no it's‐‐it's fine, you know. 39 00:01:57,217 --> 00:02:00,117 I'm sure they will settle down. 40 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,120 ‐ Man there better be some tits in this movie. 41 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,123 Hey, buddy. 42 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,534 Hey, buddy. 43 00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:08,795 Hey, is there tits in this movie? 44 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,225 ‐ Uh, well, no. 45 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:11,800 I haven't seen it yet. 46 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,498 So, uh, we're actually 47 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,740 just trying to have a conversation. 48 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,095 So if you could, you know, 49 00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:19,543 keep it down, we'd really appreciate it. 50 00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:21,909 ‐ Oh, yeah, no‐‐yeah, no problem, buddy. 51 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,808 Sorry about my friend here. 52 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,150 ‐ It's fine. 53 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,475 ‐ He's a jerk. 54 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,220 ‐ It's fine. 55 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:30,846 So anyway, Flagstaff sounds‐‐ 56 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,921 ‐ Oh... [makes fart noise] 57 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,989 Oh, Dylan, come on, man. 58 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:38,328 You know what happens when you eat all those chicharrones. 59 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,325 ‐ Oh, no. Now I've got 'em too. 60 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,827 ‐ He's got them too. ‐ Oh, my God. 61 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,329 ‐ God, you know? 62 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,871 You try to be a nice guy for once, 63 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,566 you know, being a gentleman, taking a woman out on a date, 64 00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:50,768 then you got to deal with these two idiots. 65 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,241 ‐ No, no, it's fine. 66 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,440 Jackasses like that never learn. 67 00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,412 You know what? I'm gonna go 68 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,851 to the bathroom real quick before the movie starts. 69 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:03,476 ‐ Okay, then. I'll make sure no one steals your seat, huh? 70 00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:05,653 That's...a joke. 71 00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,852 ‐ Uh, what's wrong, Gramps? 72 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,994 Did she get sick of your stories and leave? 73 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:12,360 ‐ [laughs] 74 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,929 Oh, man, Dylan, you're the fuckin' funniest, bro. 75 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,758 ‐ All right. 76 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,403 ‐ The fuck? 77 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:22,168 ‐ Hi, guys. 78 00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:24,709 Okay, let me just tell you what's happening right now. 79 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,165 Because you two couldn't shut the fuck up, 80 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:29,084 I've injected you with a neurotoxin 81 00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:30,936 that's left you completely paralyzed. 82 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,684 Now, the good news is your brains 83 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,179 are still working perfectly, which is why you can 84 00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,951 understand what I'm saying right now. 85 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,389 The bad news is, this isn't gonna wear off 86 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,145 for about eight hours. 87 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,663 So I really hope you like this movie, guys, 88 00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,086 because you're gonna be watching it 89 00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:47,391 about four fuckin' times. 90 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,034 Hmm. And you know what? 91 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,929 Er, just in case 92 00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,801 someone does find you before this stuff wears off, 93 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,140 you're gonna be jerking each other off. Enjoy that. 94 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,080 ‐ Wow, they're cozy. 95 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,975 ‐ Oh, yeah, I guess 96 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,747 they decide to settle down after all. 97 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,746 [light rock music] 98 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,579 ♪ ♪ 99 00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:14,694 Wow. You know, I'm a big Jake Gyllenhaal guy, 100 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,358 but, uh, for whatever reason, I just cannot get into Maggie. 101 00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:20,587 ‐ Really? I‐‐I love Maggie way more than Jake. 102 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,404 ‐ Oh. Well, yeah, I mean, no, 103 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,325 I mean, she's, uh, you know. 104 00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:27,996 Uh, excuse me, buddy. 105 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,701 I think you just maybe hit my car. 106 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,273 ‐ Sorry, pal, I'm in a rush. 107 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,111 ‐ Okay, well, uh... 108 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,437 God damn it. 109 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,212 ‐ Are you gonna do something? 110 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:40,350 ‐ Yeah. Um, well, actually, you know what? 111 00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,847 Uh, you know, actually, he did seem like 112 00:04:41,848 --> 00:04:45,948 he was in a rush, so I'll, uh, I'll just write him a note. 113 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,452 Can you just give me one second? 114 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,733 Uh‐huh. 115 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:52,785 Have a nice day. 116 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:56,355 All right. 117 00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:59,333 So it's, uh, still pretty early. 118 00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:00,602 Would you wanna grab a drink or‐‐ 119 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,270 ‐ Look, Darren, I, uh, 120 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,771 I don't really think this is gonna go anywhere. 121 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:10,043 So we should probably just call it a night. 122 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,183 ‐ What? Really? 123 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,608 ‐ Yeah. You seem really sweet, like, 124 00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:17,383 a really nice guy, but you're not really my type. 125 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:19,054 ‐ Oh, I'm not, huh? 126 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,792 ‐ No. Sorry. I just‐‐ 127 00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:23,717 I kind of tend to go for more, like, bad boys. 128 00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,233 ‐ Oh‐‐oh, really? 129 00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,925 ‐ Yeah. You know, guys who are a little more 130 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:30,457 assertive and don't get pushed around so much. 131 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,733 ‐ Well, wait. I don't‐‐ I don't get pushed around. 132 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,372 I mean, look, I'm a bad boy. 133 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:35,567 I'm the baddest boy. 134 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,269 I'm a goddamn supervillain. 135 00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,770 ‐ What? Uh, you said you were a sales rep. 136 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,543 ‐ Yeah. I‐‐I just said that. 137 00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,211 I don't even know what a sales rep is. 138 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,440 Look, I'm a goddamn killer. 139 00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:47,114 ‐ I find that pretty hard to believe. 140 00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:51,083 ‐ Really? Would a sales rep have these in his car? 141 00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:56,455 ‐ Oh, my God. Are those M134 miniguns? 142 00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,116 ‐ God damn right they are. 143 00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,564 ‐ Holy shit. 144 00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,059 ‐ Yeah, huh? 145 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,501 So how about this? 146 00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:04,455 How about me and you go for a drive, 147 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,704 and I'll let you shoot the miniguns for a while? 148 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,140 ‐ Oh, fuck yeah. ‐ All right. 149 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,395 But we actually do need to hurry, 150 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,843 because I put a bomb on that guy's windshield. 151 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,009 [rapid gunfire] 152 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,778 ‐ Whoo‐hoo! 153 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:19,776 Eat lead, motherfuckers. Whoo‐hoo! 154 00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,679 This is the best day of my life. 155 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,851 ‐ Okay. All right. 156 00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,620 Looks like we're all out of bullets. 157 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,449 ‐ Okay, cool. Let's‐‐let's go get more. 158 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,294 ‐ Uh, no. I‐‐I wouldn't worry about that, 159 00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:30,489 we just shot off about 10,000 rounds. 160 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,630 That's probably plenty. 161 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,355 Uh, look, this car's got a lot more 162 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:35,531 than just a pair of guns. 163 00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:36,728 ‐ Ooh, like what? 164 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,500 ‐ Well, uh, you see that city out there? 165 00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,499 ‐ Yeah. 166 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:44,201 Oh, my God. 167 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,444 ‐ Oh, yeah. 168 00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:48,378 How about a little strobe for the people? 169 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,705 ‐ So what's, like, the worst thing you've ever done? 170 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,780 ‐ Oh, I don't know. Uh, you know, 171 00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:55,719 I robbed a couple of banks, threatened a few countries, 172 00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:57,415 had a few run‐ins with the UN. 173 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,487 I probably killed two guys in that theater. 174 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:04,456 ‐ Wow. So they call this make‐out point, huh? 175 00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,632 ‐ Uh, yeah. Yeah, Yeah, I guess that's, uh, 176 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,428 what the kids are calling it these days. 177 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,971 ‐ Well, after tonight, 178 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:16,696 they're gonna have to start calling it fuck mountain. 179 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,743 ‐ Oh. Oh, because, 180 00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,668 uh, we're‐‐yeah, yeah. 181 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,984 Hell yeah. All right. 182 00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:25,006 Mmm, hey. 183 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,711 Yeah. ‐ Mmm. 184 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:27,953 ‐ Oh, hey. 185 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,948 ‐ [chuckles] 186 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,320 What was that? 187 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:35,058 ‐ Oh, uh, I think I may have just launched a rocket. 188 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,785 Oh, yeah, that's probably gonna kill a few people. 189 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,061 ‐ Oh, is that a problem? 190 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,800 ‐ What, for me? No, no. For me, that's a Tuesday. 191 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,726 ‐ Wow, you really are a supervillain. 192 00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:48,602 ‐ Yeah. So, uh, 193 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,971 you wanna get back to that whole 194 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,441 fuckin' on the mountain thing? 195 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:54,569 ‐ Yeah, but first, why don't you turn off 196 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:57,214 those city lights and give us a little more privacy? 197 00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:20,930 ‐ Oh, not a bad idea. 14117

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.