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♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:08,174
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
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♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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All right. Empty school.
12
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Time to Shining my way
through the halls.
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Principal Shepherd, where is everyone?!
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Principal Shepherd's not here,
15
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Miss Griffin.
16
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Why are you talking like that?
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Sorry. That was Tony,
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the little boy who lives in my mouth.
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00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,939
Why are you here? It's skip day.
20
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It's skip day? Nobody told me.
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She's unpopular and unattractive.
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Tony!
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Hello?! Chris?
24
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Did you know it was skip day?
25
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Mom? Dad?
26
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,375
Hello?
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00:01:32,376 --> 00:01:34,802
- Mom? Where are you guys?
- Who is this?
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It's Meg. Where is everyone?
29
00:01:37,062 --> 00:01:39,748
Well, this can't be Meg.
She's with us here at the pier.
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00:01:39,749 --> 00:01:41,888
- Who is that?
- Someone who says she's Meg.
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Give me that.
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Okay, Meg, if this is you,
what's your birthday?
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March 23.
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I have no idea if that's correct.
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Good day, sir.
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Sorry about that, everyone.
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Now let's get back to the fair
and enjoy our March 23.
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The usual, please.
39
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,256
Here ya are...
Ladies' seven on the left,
40
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and men's 11 on the right.
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I just need a license.
42
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Thanks.
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Oh! And happy birthday!
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Yes!
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We have not updated those.
46
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Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker.
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Coming up, I find even more sand
48
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on my body from a beach toilet
I used a week ago.
49
00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:01,138
But first,
tragedy strikes close to home,
50
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:03,516
as a car crash near
my apartment claims the life
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of a local teen girl.
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The victim's identity is being withheld
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pending notification of the family.
54
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Hey, buddy.
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What brings you around at this
late hour with your uniform on
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and your hat held mournfully
against your chest?
57
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:21,742
Peter, Lois, it pains me above the waist
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00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,411
to tell you that Meg is dead.
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- What?!
- What are you talking about?
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Meg's right here.
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00:03:29,695 --> 00:03:32,360
You know, it's weird that didn't
happen on the pier all day.
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Or when we rented that convertible.
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How did this happen?!
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She got in a car wreck, and
was burned beyond recognition,
65
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,095
and I leveled up on Fortnite
this weekend,
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00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:43,681
but you probably only care
about the first two things.
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Oh, dear God, no!
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00:03:46,036 --> 00:03:49,230
All we found was Meg's
driver's license at the scene.
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00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,942
It had her Quiznos punch card
stuck to the back.
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Your little angel was
one stamp away from a free sub,
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00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,990
which only adds
to this horrific tragedy.
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00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,366
It's actually pretty impressive,
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00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:05,619
because the card was only issued
three days ago.
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Usually one of the guys would
swipe a thing like this,
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00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,916
use it on the way home,
but I snagged it for ya.
76
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,085
Thought Meg's family ought
to be the ones
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to enjoy the free sandwich.
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Again, I'm very sorry.
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Oh, hang on.
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00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,972
Oh, they told the family? Great!
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00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,850
The girl killed near
my apartment was Meg Griffin.
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What? I'm not dead!
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00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,729
She was burned beyond recognition
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but identified by her driver's license.
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156 pounds.
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Yikes.
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00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:40,237
Wait. Did you give my ID
to the wrong girl?
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00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:44,242
Sorry. Them shoe spray fumes
made me all goofy in my head.
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00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,897
I'm still sober. This ain't cheatin'!
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00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,916
Oh, this is me being sober!
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00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,419
So I guess I'm dead.
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00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,589
And no one cares.
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00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,133
Again, for those of you
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00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,220
in a new scene: Meg Griffin dead.
95
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,013
Lois, can you believe these seats?
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Front row!
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00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,346
I hope the priest pulls me up
on stage and dances with me.
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00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,683
When I was hastily relocated
to this parish a week ago,
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00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,893
the last thing
I thought I'd have to do is
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00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,813
stand before you on such a sad occasion.
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00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,398
A family losing a child is like
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00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,900
a Trivial Pursuit wheel
losing a pie piece.
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00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,862
And you have to keep reminding
everyone playing the game,
104
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:06,156
"Don't forget. I already got
'Entertainment'." What a pain.
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00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,202
Your first speaker...
Principal Shepherd.
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00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,830
Meg Griffin was an honest man,
107
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,207
a kind man, a man who knew how...
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Oh, my stars!
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I have nothing.
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00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,922
Kind of feel bad. There's nobody here.
111
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,841
I know. We're not even here.
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00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,888
This was the right decision.
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Hey, Chris, I'm super sorry
your sister is dead.
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Mwah.
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00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,729
If there's anything
we can do to help you
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00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,272
during your time of need...
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- Stamps.
- What?
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Stamps. I need stamps.
119
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,742
Okay, you got it.
120
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:47,948
Wow. Are girls coming on to me
because my sister died?
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Cool!
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00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,411
God, I wish it was Joe in that box.
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00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,871
I do, too, Bon.
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00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,873
Oh. Did I say that out loud?
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00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,292
No, but at this point,
I know what you're thinking.
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It'll be soon, babe.
127
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,382
Unbelievable.
128
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,217
There's hardly anyone here.
129
00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,053
Ugh. Well, that's it.
130
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:12,043
I'm off to a new town
to start a new life.
131
00:07:12,044 --> 00:07:13,426
Ooh. Sorry.
132
00:07:13,427 --> 00:07:16,519
Don't you know what a rosary
on a doorknob means?!
133
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:34,286
Siri, play "Kiss From a Rose" by Seal.
134
00:07:45,217 --> 00:07:47,466
I hope everyone enjoys tonight's dinner.
135
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,095
It... it was Meg's favorite.
136
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,140
There, there, Lois. Stop your crying.
137
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,142
Stop it.
138
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,103
Please stop. Stop.
139
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:01,866
Stop it. Stop crying.
140
00:08:01,867 --> 00:08:03,357
Stop crying.
141
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,943
Stop crying. Stop.
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00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,628
Before we eat,
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00:08:07,629 --> 00:08:10,073
would anyone like
to say something about Meg?
144
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:16,389
Okay, I feel all of you
looking at me, so here goes.
145
00:08:16,390 --> 00:08:18,330
Meg, wherever you are,
146
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,708
I hope that you're with Bubba,
and I want you to know
147
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,626
that Lieutenant Dan is walking around...
148
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,044
Is this from Forrest Gump?
149
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,463
I miss you, Meg.
150
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,965
Stop it, Brian.
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00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,299
Stop your crying.
152
00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,843
Stop it.
153
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:31,969
Please stop.
154
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,054
Stop. Stop it.
155
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,233
Stop crying. Stop crying.
156
00:08:37,234 --> 00:08:39,601
Stop crying. Stop.
157
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:43,022
Stewie, is there anything
you'd like to say?
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00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:46,191
Yeah. We're gonna save a lot
of money on toilet paper.
159
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,985
Ever see her wipe?
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00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,820
She'd wrap up both hands like oven mitts
161
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:52,823
and act like she was cleaning
out a pot of burnt chili.
162
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:56,535
Anyway, that's all
I care to say about Meg.
163
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,746
Maybe we should just have
a moment of silence
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00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,706
as we hear the guy down the street
165
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,999
scream at his barking dog.
166
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,878
Damn it, Rufus, shut up!
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00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,504
Will you shut up?!
168
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,425
Get in the house! Get in the house!
169
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:17,598
♪ This time things are gonnawork out fine ♪
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00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:20,893
♪ This time will be betterthan previous times ♪
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00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,687
♪ This time is markedly different ♪
172
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:28,025
♪ Than the times we had before ♪
173
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:32,029
♪ This time is gonna be so much more! ♪
174
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,201
♪ Or maybe it's not. ♪
175
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,748
Hi, new neighbor.
176
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,041
I just thought I'd come by and see
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00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,918
if I could borrow a cup of tampons.
178
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,711
Sure. Just bring 'em back
when you're done. No rush.
179
00:09:48,712 --> 00:09:51,715
- Thanks. My name's not important.
- What's yours?
180
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,093
Um... my name?
181
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,512
My name is...
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00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,389
Hallway.
183
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,183
Natalie Hallway.
184
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,808
Nice to meet you, Natalie.
185
00:10:02,809 --> 00:10:05,229
You want to join us on the roof
and sit under string lights?
186
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,730
That sounds great!
187
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,565
I'll bring my hemorrhoid donut
to sit on.
188
00:10:09,899 --> 00:10:11,568
Great joke, Natalie Hallway!
189
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,570
Yes. It is a joke.
190
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,739
Because Natalie Hallway doesn't need
191
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,783
to sit on a hemorrhoid donut.
192
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,836
To Natalie Hallway, our new friend.
193
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,861
Natalie, sit down.
Tell us about yourself.
194
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:32,798
Yow...!
195
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,217
What a view!
196
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,764
You know, Stewie, when Meg was little,
197
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:44,060
we used to love to make
Christmas cookies together.
198
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,814
Are... are those dongs?
199
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,150
My God, from October to January
200
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,776
I don't come up for air.
201
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,612
All those families enjoying
their Christmas dongs.
202
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,823
Could we get some of your
cookies for our wedding?
203
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,449
Get out of here!
This is a family bakery!
204
00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,034
I'm a Christian!
205
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,036
In the case of Kent and Bradley
206
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,247
v. Holiday Dongs,
207
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:08,876
the court rules that you
must give us the recipe.
208
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,919
Oh!
209
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,546
Under court order, Stewie went on
210
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,673
to make baked goods for the gay wedding.
211
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,967
And because of that,
he did not get into heaven,
212
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,344
just like they've always been saying.
213
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,853
Chris, be in my selfie!
214
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:30,022
I want to make Meg's death about me.
215
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,983
Hey, Chris, I couldn't help but notice
216
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,401
how much attention you're getting.
217
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:35,652
Want to high-five hug?
218
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,155
Hell yes.
219
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,823
Hang in there, brotha.
220
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,159
I will, brother.
221
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,912
Chris, here are the keys
to the drivers ed car
222
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:46,747
to use anytime you want.
223
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,708
- Wow, cool.
- See, everyone?
224
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,836
If I were using the drivers ed
car for my real car,
225
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,202
I wouldn't have given him the keys.
226
00:11:55,203 --> 00:11:56,743
That would be a psycho move.
227
00:11:56,744 --> 00:11:58,926
I wouldn't have a ride home.
228
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,471
Chris, if you're heading home,
can I get a ride?
229
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,321
- Yeah!
- Go, Natalie!
230
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:20,697
Wow, Natalie Hallway,
231
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,741
how did you get so good at bowling?
232
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,117
Oh, I used to play a lot
233
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,954
back in Qua... rea.
234
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,733
Wow, you lived in Korea?
235
00:12:28,734 --> 00:12:30,040
Yep.
236
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,875
When I was with the embassy.
237
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,877
So was that before or after you were
238
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,607
one of the first black women
to do math for NASA?
239
00:12:36,608 --> 00:12:37,714
Yes.
240
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:41,510
Wow, your parents must be
so proud of you.
241
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,484
Hey, Griffin, I heard you scored
242
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,403
with the girls'
basketball team yesterday.
243
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,072
Yep, 12 points and eight rebounds.
244
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,740
Aw, Griffin, you're the man.
245
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,492
I got an extra orange at lunch.
246
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,412
- You want it?
- Yeah!
247
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,081
Life is pretty sweet.
248
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,667
Hello?
249
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:14,668
Hey, Chris.
250
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,919
Meg?!
251
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,713
Are you alive?
252
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:20,590
Yes. I'll explain everything.
Can you come meet me?
253
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,926
Okay, still the cemetery?
254
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,177
Alive?!
255
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,929
Chris, you already know that part.
256
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,180
Oh, right.
257
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,933
So you suddenly got sick
of your new, great life?
258
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,184
No, Chris.
259
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,603
I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
260
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,474
I missed Mom.
261
00:13:35,475 --> 00:13:37,079
I missed you.
262
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,775
I missed the whole family.
263
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,777
I'm glad you're alive,
but you should know
264
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,279
things are different now.
265
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,384
- Dad finally got a Peloton?
- Yeah.
266
00:13:44,385 --> 00:13:45,949
- Is he using it?
- No.
267
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,284
He mumbled something about the Wi-Fi,
268
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:49,119
then ate a whole chicken on the couch,
269
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,371
- but there's something else.
- What is it?
270
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,874
Let's talk about it in the van.
271
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:54,875
Chris?!
272
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,960
What are you doing?! Let me out!
273
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,796
Sorry, Meg, but I can't
let you come home just yet.
274
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:01,382
I'm too popular now.
275
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,677
- What's the holdup?
- What?
276
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,302
I slapped the van twice.
277
00:14:07,303 --> 00:14:10,015
Yeah, what was that?
I thought something flew into the van.
278
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,892
No, that's, like, the universal signal
279
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,310
for "move it out."
280
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,853
I never heard that.
281
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,313
And I drive vans all the time.
282
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,398
Well, then how do you know
when it's time to head out?
283
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,151
Somebody yells out
"okay" or "all right."
284
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:22,986
Every so often it's "yep."
285
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,655
Well, okay, you're good to go.
286
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:28,158
All right.
287
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,326
Ow! Ow!
288
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,994
What are you doing?!
289
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,913
Sorry, I got distracted by all this
290
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:34,957
whappin' the side of the van business.
291
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:48,063
Hello? Hello?
292
00:14:48,064 --> 00:14:50,013
Where is everyone?
293
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:53,298
Damn it, Chris, I don't care
that you're popular now.
294
00:14:53,299 --> 00:14:55,060
Let me out of here!
295
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,509
Well, at least I still have my music.
296
00:14:57,510 --> 00:15:00,190
Siri, play Seals and Croft.
297
00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:04,486
♪ Darling if you want me to be... ♪
298
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:10,243
♪ Get closer to me. ♪
299
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:15,080
Good morning, students.
300
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,290
We are gathered here
for two reasons today.
301
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,918
One, to mourn the loss of Meg Griffin.
302
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,587
And two, to find the owner
of this X-Men water bottle
303
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,780
someone left in wood shop...
Does anyone recognize it?
304
00:15:24,781 --> 00:15:28,218
- I'll take it!
- That's not what I asked. Anyone?
305
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:29,970
I'm not gonna tell you
which character's on it,
306
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,721
you have to be able
to tell me the character.
307
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,056
Wolverine!
308
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,599
- Are you guessing?
- Am I right?
309
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,226
All right, we'll handle this after.
310
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:39,646
But now, here to help you mourn,
an artist who specializes
311
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,982
in sensitive music
to do finger stuff to,
312
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,609
Mr. John Mayer!
313
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,945
It's good to be here.
I love high school!
314
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,739
Who are you? I was born in 2003!
315
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,825
Then I'm probably your father.
316
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,994
Ooh, pwned!
317
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:57,289
Whoa, looks like the school
really is missing Meg.
318
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,582
Chris, Brian, would you help Peter?
319
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,962
He's one of those "has to be supported
by both elbows" mourners.
320
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,536
I'm gonna need three seats
for my elbow supporters.
321
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,345
Stewie, you look depressed.
322
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,972
You still upset about Meg?
323
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,980
No, it's just this gym is sad.
324
00:16:15,981 --> 00:16:18,477
If you haven't won
a championship since 1982,
325
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,729
just take the banner down.
326
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,652
Well, Meg,
327
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,822
looks like you really
are dead this time.
328
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,617
They say your life flashes
before your eyes when you die.
329
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:36,161
I wonder what I'll see.
330
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,247
Oh, yeah!
331
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,373
Over!
332
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,708
I'm a tomato.
333
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,586
I'm not in any of these!
334
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,795
Ladies and gentlemen,
335
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,464
Mr. Conway Twitty.
336
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:48,548
Oh, come on!
337
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,133
I was in the Kingsman fight!
338
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,426
That could've been in there.
339
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,636
I can do stuff.
340
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,937
I-I can be a part of a comedy team!
341
00:16:54,938 --> 00:16:57,181
Look, hey, Chris, who's on first?
342
00:16:57,182 --> 00:17:00,502
A baseball player.
343
00:17:00,503 --> 00:17:02,062
Well, that's it.
344
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,897
I'm gonna show them.
345
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,565
I'm gonna live.
346
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,776
I'm getting out of here.
347
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,070
Now let's see, if I whap my forehead
348
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:12,072
against this cement floor enough times,
349
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,658
I think I can create a blood luge
350
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,535
to slide myself out on.
351
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,995
This... this
352
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,289
can be in the highlight
353
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,209
video!
354
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,891
Wow, thank you, John Mayer.
Wasn't he terrific?
355
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,893
I think we can all agree
that John is entitled
356
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,813
to take whichever student he
wishes home with him tonight.
357
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,066
And finally, the Quiznos
358
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,776
across the street has graciously
359
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,945
taken out a full page ad in the yearbook
360
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:54,448
that will feature
a dedication page to Meg.
361
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,577
Quiznos, go ahead and stand up.
362
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,087
Come on, in the back,
you guys have been great.
363
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,090
Oh, my God, oh, my God, everyone!
364
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,050
He's proposing right here!
365
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,761
Right in front of everyone!
Oh, she's so lucky!
366
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,179
Oh, my God!
367
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:23,059
I'm alive! I'm alive!
368
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:25,478
Meg!
369
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,980
Those are dark-soled shoes.
370
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,816
She's wearing dark-soled shoes
on the gym floor!
371
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,068
Sneakers only in the gym, guys.
372
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,690
Oh, my God, Meg!
373
00:18:33,691 --> 00:18:35,500
I'm so glad you're alive!
374
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:36,989
What happened?
375
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,076
He did this!
376
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,621
Are you saying Chris saved your life?
377
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,914
This calls for a celebration.
378
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:46,916
All right, everyone throw confetti
379
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,627
and ruin the janitor's weekend.
380
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:55,091
Hey, I'm not gonna make it this weekend.
381
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:58,094
Oh, but you're gonna miss
the big janitor dance!
382
00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,930
This is our last chance to get
laid before Janitor College!
383
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,141
You think I don't know that?!
384
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,561
No! Chris kidnapped me
so he could stay popular!
385
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:09,718
What? Chris would never do that.
386
00:19:09,719 --> 00:19:10,857
Chris?
387
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,652
It's true, Mom.
388
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:18,156
I owe my sister an apology.
389
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,530
I shouldn't have treated her
the way I did.
390
00:19:20,531 --> 00:19:22,452
And I think if Meg were here today,
391
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,454
she'd be the first one to agree.
392
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,789
I am here!
393
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,123
I'm right here!
394
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:29,111
Anyway, Meg, wherever you are,
395
00:19:29,112 --> 00:19:30,331
I'm sorry.
396
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,048
Damn it, I'm giving a speech!
I want to tell you...
397
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:38,275
Very loud chant! Very loud chant!
398
00:19:38,276 --> 00:19:40,512
Very loud chant! Very loud chant!
399
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,974
Oh, my God, Meg,
I'm so glad you're back.
400
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:46,940
We love you, honey.
401
00:19:46,941 --> 00:19:48,520
I love you, too, Mom.
402
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,897
Yeah, Meg, I'm just really glad
this whole ordeal is over.
403
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,691
Glad this whole ordeal is what?
404
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,192
Over.
405
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,400
Come on!
406
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,446
I'm sorry I faked my own death, Mom.
407
00:20:04,447 --> 00:20:06,913
It's okay, Meg.
Actually, I should've known.
408
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,082
Faking stuff is part of being a woman.
409
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,861
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
410
00:20:10,862 --> 00:20:12,375
Women fake a lot of things.
411
00:20:12,376 --> 00:20:14,879
You faked your death,
I fake orgasms and being
412
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,674
impressed by my husband's
accomplishments at work.
413
00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,718
Hey, Lois, guess who got to erase
414
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,678
the white board in a meeting today?
415
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,012
Oh, my!
416
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,098
I think someone's earned himself
417
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:28,309
Mama Lois' famous egg salad, huh?
418
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,352
Oh, yum!
419
00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:31,688
Oh, today just keeps getting
better and better!
420
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:34,149
Dad, I thought you hated
Mom's egg salad.
421
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,860
Chris, part of being a man
is faking things.
422
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:40,196
Like orgasms or pretending
to like your wife's egg salad.
423
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:43,325
And anyway, I give it to that
raccoon outside who likes me.
424
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,876
I thought you hated that guy.
425
00:20:46,877 --> 00:20:49,706
Part of being a raccoon
is faking things.
426
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:52,125
Like orgasms
or pretending to like people
427
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,169
who give you egg salad.
428
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,587
Oh, Peter!
429
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,130
Oh, Lois!
430
00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:59,675
Oh, other raccoon!
30915
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