All language subtitles for Everything.You.Want.2005.WEBRip.x264-ION10

(Abby) When I was a little
girl,

my family and I used to travel
a lot.

Well, my parents did, anyway.

I would only really travel as
far as Montana,

the Big Sky Country,

home of Evel Knievel, Custer's
last stand,

and Aunt Edna.

Every summer, my parents would
pack me up

and take me to her house

while they would go off on one
of their grand adventures.

It's not that I didn't like
Aunt Edna.

It's just that all we ever did
was make jam.

And then when we were done...

[ sighs ] we would make more
jam.

It was during those long summer
days

that I learned to love art.

I'd sit on the front porch with
my crayons

and create a new world,

one that helped me deal with my
isolation and loneliness.

When I was coloring, I was
free,

free to be anywhere I wanted,

free from jam.

I drew the things around me and
saw the world with new eyes.

But I really longed for someone
to play with, to talk to.

I needed a friend.

And then one day, it happened.

That was the day...I met Sy.

[ distorted rock guitar ]

* *

(Leslie Mills) * Do-do-do-do,
do-do-do. *

* Da, da, aha. *

* Do-do-do-do, do-do-do. *

* *

* I'm so good at flying away.
*

* Maybe I'm lucky. *

* Playing my cards at 21,
breaking my heart. *

* Oh, well, I fell. What do
you know? *

* Covered in laughter. *

* Touch me again and then
again, *

* only for a while, *

* till you get so high. *

* I'm glad enough. *

* And you make me swear I
won't give up. *

* Sunshine's ready to rain. *
*

* Like an ocean view when it
isn't there, *

* like a super ray out of
nowhere. *

* Sunshine's ready to rain. *
*

* Do-do-do-do, do-do-do. *

* Da, da, aha. *

* Oh, man, what then? *

* Where do you go when you
stop wanting *

* everything to fit
perfectly, just as you planned?
*

* Stand back; feel that bump
in the road. *

* Were you expecting time to
remain? *

* But you're asleep, only for
a while, *

* till you get so high. *

* I'm glad enough, *

* and you make me swear I
won't give up. *

* Sunshine's ready to rain. *
*

Hey.

You can't move.

[ classical violin music ]

Sy?

I can't resist any longer.

What are you up to?

I've been working on my own art
piece.

Ahh!

Hey, hey, you can't touch it.

This is a work of art, okay?

This is your nose.

These are your beautiful eyes.

[ door rattles ] [gasps]

[ both whisper ] Jess is home.

Abby?

Abby, are you here?

Ooh.

I need your help.

This is ridiculous.

I know, but she just can't see
you in here.

Ugh!

Okay, okay, just

(Sy) Sorry; what about under
the table?

Have you seen my name tag?

Ryan told me I can't come back

until I find it.

You've lost it again?

I don't know what I ever saw in
that sniveling,

slimy, no-good weasel.

I believe it was his eyes.

Hey, what are you working on?

Uh, nothing.

Oh, yeah, right. Like I believe
that.

Jessica.

Come on, Abby, let me see it.

Okay.

Oh.

Sy?

(Abby) Mm-hmm.

Mm, he's hot.

No wonder I never get to meet
him.

Okay, that's enough.

You know, I'm telling you,
Abby,

it is time you start showing
your work in galleries.

I don't know.

I'm just not ready yet.

Well, sometimes you just got to
take a chance.

You know what?

Sounds like a great idea, but I
am late for school.

Bye.

Well, what about my name tag?

Use mine.

I tried that last week.

[ rock music in background ]

* *

[ buzzing ]

Oh, yeah!

A few more days, this baby'' '
s gonna be ready to roll.

Congratulations, Cal, that'' '
s quite a feat.

Thank you.

Now, how do you plan on getting
it out of here?

Through the door?

Hmm. Good luck with that.

* *

Oh, yeah, that's not gonna fit.

(professor) Surrealism can be
expressed as a depiction

of the irrational state of our
subconscious.

What did Neyman say on page 52

of your reading about
surrealists?

Come on.

Anybody.

Please tell me somebody read
the assignment.

Miss Morrison.

Well, he said that surrealists
believe that the dream state

it could be just as relevant as
our waking lives.

Hmm.

Yes.

They also construe

that the universe is only

as real as it seems,

and sometimes things that feel
the most real

are the least substantive.

Like these papers?

[ all chuckling ]

No, Mr. Andrews, you weren'' '
t dreaming.

That is a real D.

[ bell rings ]

Please, please do your reading.

Professor, I-I think you made a
mistake on my paper.

(professor) No, Mr. Andrews.

The mistake was when you took
this class,

thinking you had an easy
humanity credit.

I understand, but I really need
this credit.

You should've thought about
that six weeks ago.

The D stands.

Well, not your finest hour.

I just I just don't get

this stupid pseudo-surrealist
crap.

It's not crap.

What'd you say?

I said, "It's not crap."

And how do you know?

Oh, A-plus.

Sorry, I didn't know I was
speaking to an expert.

Well, now you know.

You really need to work on your
people skills.

Oh, man.

Ow.

That's the third time today,
man.

Nick.

Nick.

Do you understand the meaning
of level?

No, that'sthat's okay.

Why don't you come on down and
follow me?

I've got a job less complicated
for you.

You have a wedgie, by the way.

I hate that guy.

[ sputtering ]

Here you go.

Have a nice day.

See you later.

Jessica's late again.

Well, you told her not to come
back

without her name tag.

I did...four hours ago.

She's probably just still
looking for it, Ryan.

I like you, Abby. I do.

That's why I'm telling you
this,

because I know that you depend
on Jessica

for part of the rent.

What are you trying to say,
Ryan?

I mean, you're not gonna fire
her

because she lost her name tag.

Look, name tags are company
policy.

Besides,

a patron is 76% more likely

to talk to someone

with a name tag than without.

Look, you want to save her job.

I understand that.

Stay till she gets here.

Why?

We're short.

Ryan, there's no one in the
store.

That's beside the point.

No, I mean, she works books.

I mean, I work coffee.

It doesn't even make any sense.

Are you arguing with me?

No, I'm not. I'm just

Ryan, look, tonight's my
anniversary,

and I'm supposed to be making
dinner for my boyfriend,

so it just

I want you to go home.

I do.

But if your little friend

thinks she can come in whenever
she wants,

then someone has to cover for
her.

Are we clear?

As mud.

Good.

I think all these should be
straight.

Okay?

ding!

Mm, excuse me, welcome to
Borders, I

Oh.

You don't happen to carry

The Idiot's Guide to Art
Appreciation?

I was told it has lots of
pictures.

Mm-hmm, I think it's in the
juvenile section.

That's good. It's even sort of
funny.

So do you want to order
something, or what?

Did you just come here to annoy
me?

Wow, okay.

Uh, let me get...

the chocolate cheesecake.

'Kay, would you like any coffee
with that?

To be perfectly honest,

I feel like you might spit in
it.

Hmph, that's clever.

You don't like me much, do you?

Hmm, it's funny. I thought you
were slow.

"Abigail."

[ snorts ] That's a weird name.

It's Abby.

So, uh, have a nice day.

Cheesecake?

Yeah, right.

[ whispers ] Where have you
been?

Your glasses.

Okay, here you go.

Oh! Oh!

[ gasps ]

Oh, my gosh!

Oh.

Look, um...

One of these these will work
for you.

They're on the house.

No, it's all it's all on me.

Oh, gosh.

* *

(Stephanie Pearson) * What is
this I feel? *

* What used to be a dream is
now becoming real. *

* Only yesterday, it had no
appeal. *

* But I guess things change.
*

* *

* Suddenly, the sky's a bluer
blue *

* and full of possibilities.
*

* Suddenly, it's looking like
it's gonna be okay. *

* On a day like today, *

* I could take a chance on
someone new. *

* On a day like today, *

* I could fall in love with
you. *

* On a day, *

* on a day like today. *

[ phone rings ]

Ah! Oh, no, no.

[ ringing ]

Okay.

Coming.

Hello.

I've got a crisis.

I don't like it when you start
a conversation like that.

You know my cousin, the one who
transferred here this semester?

Well, I don't knowhim know him

Well, you're going to.

He's coming over for dinner
tonight.

What?

No, Jess, uh-uh.

Excuse me, I was wondering if
you knew

where I could find a book on
embroidery.

Shh!

What? Don't you work here?

Do I look like I work here?

He's not that bad; I promise.

It's just that I wasn't
expecting to see him,

and I really didn't know what
to say,

and he mentioned that we should
get together sometime,

and I sort of said, "Sure," you
know,

because that's what you say,

and he's like, "Well, okay,
dinner tonight?"

And I'm like

You know how I am with the "no"
word.

(Abby) No! Jessica, no.

It's my anniversary.

I am making dinner for Sy.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I don't have his new number.

Well, maybe I could, like,

walk around campus until I find
him.

No. You know what?

It's fine, actually.

It'sit's fine.

Don't worry about it.

He can come over?

Yeah.

He can come over.

Bye. Thanks, Abby.

Okay, bye.

beep

Hi, Ryan.

(Sy) Happy anniversary.

They're beautiful.

Oh.

They're for you.

Oh!

Thanks.

These smell so good. Thank you

You haven't made dinner for me,
have you?

You know, you didn't you didn't
need to do that.

Yeah, um...

I didn't.

I was going to, but Jess
called,

and she said that

she's gonna bring her cousin
over for dinner.

What, here?

On our anniversary?

Mm-hmm.

[ whispers ] I know. I'm sorry.

Well, well, I mean no, no,
that's fine.

I mean, actually, it's good.

It'syou don't mind?

Come on.

How could I be mad with you?

I can't.

We'll justyou know what?

We'll go and do something fun
afterwards.

Yeah, yeah, we could go see a
movie.

We'll go and see one of those
romantic movies.

You like gushy movies.

I love it.

[ giggles ] I know you do.

Thank you.

[ rattling ]

Abby?

(Abby) Jess?

Jess, it's open.

I need...your...help!

Ohh!

You know the only difference
between Ryan and the pope?

Hmm?

The pope only expects you to
kiss his ring.

Okay, tell me what happened.

I got fired.

No, you didn't.

No. No.

He said that if I stayed,

he wouldn't fire you.

I don't know why you dated him
in the first place.

You know, sometimes I wish I
had a boyfriend like Sy.

Yeah, he would never fire you.

I don't know what I'm going to
do.

Ooh, I got it.

I really needed that job.

Why don't you just get another
one?

It's easier said than done.

Here; you need them more than I
do.

Oh.

Where'd they come from?

From Sy.

Sy. Oh.

No, it's not like that.

He's just not very good at
color selection,

so I help him out a bit.

I don't think any guy I'' ' ve
dated has ever given me
flowers.

Hmm. Ever.

Well, except
Ryan-the-Super-Slut

when he cheated on me with that
lunch lady.

Hey, didn't Ryan-the-Narcissist
send you flowers once?

Yeah, only so he could hear
himself

compliment himself for a week.

Besides, that's when I was
still dating

I'm-Still-in-the-Closet Ryan,

so it doesn't count.

I just don't understand.

There are so many guys in the
world.

Why do you only date guys with
the name of Ryan?

It's my curse.

[ doorbell rings ]

(Jess) Abby, can you get that?

[ music blaring ]

Oh, I'm coming!

Turn it down!

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Um, come on in. I'm Abby.

Nice to meet you.

She's just running a few
minutes late.

Hi.

Hi.

Who's this?

Oh, this isn't your cousin?

He's not my cousin.

[ knock at door ]

Excuse me.

[ gasps ] Oh.

Hey, I

Megan doesn't live here, does
she?

Oh, next door, apartment 14.

Right.

Nice to meet you.

You too.

Hey, buddy.

All yours.

Hey, Jess.

Hey, cuz.

Abigail, right?

Abby. Yeah.

You two know each other?

Oh, we've met before.

(Jess) Really, when?

Well, we're in the same art
depreciation class.

And then today when I came by
the bookstore to buy

Don't go there.

Go where?

Am I missing something?

No. Yes.

Kill me now.

Well, come in. Have a seat.

So what's with the pajamas?

Bad day.

Okay, pajamas it is.

I got fired.

You what?

Oh, this egomaniac that I work
for

has had it out for me ever
since I dumped him.

Let me take a guess.

Uh, Ryan?

You know him?

Let's just call it a hunch.

[ woman on radio ] * Gobble,
gobble, gobble *

* goes the turkey for
Thanksgiving. *

* Gobble, gobble *

squeak, squeak!

Oh, shoot.

She's not gonna want to come,
George.

Well, it's worth asking.

Honey, why don't you bring
something in with you?

Like, uh, why don't you bring
that turkey?

Ooh, you're right.

Who could resist this turkey?

Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.

Yoo-hoo!

Abigail.

Hey, Mrs. Morrison.

Oh, hi, Jessica.

(Abby) Mom, Dad.

I wasn't expecting you guys.

Did you want something?

Well, we're just fine, aren't
we, George?

Oh, who's this nice young man?

This is my cousin Quinn.

Nice to meet you.

How do you do, Quinton?

Mom, Dad, I asked you what you
wanted.

We're going to the cemetery.

We're gonna decorate for
Thanksgiving.

Oh.

You decorate a relative's grave
for the holidays?

Oh no, dear, we decorate our
own graves.

You see, George bought our
plots

as a 20th anniversary present.

And I thought

the poor things looked a little
empty.

So for our 25th anniversary,
Mary Louise bought a headstone.

It's got "Morrison" written in
big letters

and then "George" on one side

and "Mary Louise" on the other.

So we'll always be together.

Oh, sweetie.

So please, come with us this
time.

No.

Yes, please. You never come.

Mom, I-I don't

I don't want to go decorate my
parents'graves...

with my parents.

It's a cemetery. Don't people
complain?

Honey, they can't. They'' ' re
dead.

Oh, show her the turkeys.

See? We got little turkeys.

Oh, gobble, gobble.

Turkey, turkey.

[ giggles ]

Maybe Quinton and Jessica

could come along.

Oh, thank you, but I'm not much
of a decorator.

Oh, Abigail always says that,

and she's quite the artist.

Mom, nobody's interested here.

You're just gonna have to go be
morbid by yourselves; sorry.

Well, you're just gonna have to
miss a good time, then.

Well, in that case,

you must come along with
Abigail and Jessica

to Thanksgiving.

Well, I

I'm not gonna take no for an
answer.

Trust me; she won't.

Well, if it's no trouble.

I wouldn't ask if it were.

Mother, can I please speak to
you for a second?

Please, now, look.

I am sure that he's already got
plans for that day.

Well, he wouldn't say yes if he
already had plans.

Do you?

There; that's settled.

Mother, I don't want him to
come.

I don't want him to come.

If I could interject,

please.

Oh, what nice manners.

Maybe it's best if I just pass
on the invitation.

Well, she didn't invite you,
dear; I did.

We're off.

We'll see you all for
Thanksgiving.

(Abby) Help me, please.

Dad.

Dad! Dad!

Nice meeting you.

(Jess) Ooh, hot, hot, hot!

[ pans banging ] Ooh!

Five-second rule!

[ smoke alarm beeping ]

Okay, got everything.

I'm almost ready.

What are you making, mac and
cheese?

Are you kidding?

Boil, drain, add milk and
butter, then stir?

Nice catch. Thanks.

That's, like, five steps.

I made ramen; it's only three.

Tear it open; dump it in.

Throw it away.

So how are your classes?

They're all right.

I mean, if I don't pass this
art class,

I can pretty much say good-bye
to law school.

Oh, Abby could teach you.

She's a great teacher.

No, she's not.

Well, but you want to be,

and what better way to get
experience

than by teaching someone?

He is not teachable.

I'm a great student.

That's doubtful.

Look, I'll make you a deal.

You help me pass art class,

and I won't ruin your
Thanksgiving.

Yeah, no. Mm-mm.

Ah, you see,

spending four hours with you
and my parents

is so much easier

than spending an entire
semester tutoring you.

Okay.

What if...

I get Jess her job back,

andI don't come to your
Thanksgiving dinner?

We do need the rent money.

(Quinn) And that's my final
offer.

No, and that is my final
answer.

Okay. You know what?

Abby, you're right.

I mean, you have bailed me out
one too many times.

Thank you.

(Jess) So I'll just go upstairs
and, um, pack my bags.

Don't worry; I'll be out of
your hair by the morning.

(Abby) Jess.

No, it's fine.

I've always wanted to know what
it'd be like

to live in a cardboard box.

Okay, Jess, it's fine. I got
it.

Okay, listen.

You get Jess her job back

and you don't come with me for
Thanksgiving,

and you've got a deal.

Who in the world has parents
that decorate their own graves?

I mean, I must have been
adopted.

Oh, gosh!

Oh, and I got conned into
helping this boy out

with his homework.

He's a decent chap, isn'' ' t
he?

I don't know.

Well, do you like him?

Yeah, if you like a migraine.

Oh, come on, if he needs some
help,

maybe you should just give him
a hand.

No, I think he's obnoxious.

Don't you think that maybe, as
a teacher,

you might have to deal with one
or two obnoxious students?

No, I don't think, as a
teacher,

I'll have to deal with one or
two obnoxious students.

No!

Come here!

I'm gonna show you who'' ' s
obnoxious!

[ Vivaldi violin concerto
playing ]

How long are we supposed to
look at this?

Huh?

Well, you seem to know the
routine around here.

What's the standard time of
staring at something like this

without looking too
pretentious?

Yeah, well it's not about a set
period of time.

You just have to appreciate
what the artist is trying to
say.

[ sighs ]

It looks like spaghetti.

Okay, well, to you, it might.

You know, I happen to see
something else.

Fettuccine. Got it.

Do you dismiss everything you
don't understand?

Well, I haven't dismissed you
yet, have I?

Look, all I'm saying is,

my kid sister could paint
something more realistic,

and she's ten.

It's not about realism.

It's about how it makes you
feel.

And it makes me feel hungry.

Okay, well, if you want a good
grade,

you're gonna look past the
spaghetti.

Oh, wow.

Did you feel that?

Huh?

We just had our first moment.

You're an idiot.

But you felt it nothing, huh?

But just a little bit?

So your parents are cool.

To you, maybe.

What does that mean?

It means you didn't grow up
with them.

So what's the deal?

I don't know you well enough to
tell you my life history.

Oh, come on.

They weren't around a lot.

End of story.

Do you want to hear my life
story?

I don't, actually.

Come on.

It involves fire juggling and a
midget.

So, uh, you up for something to
eat?

I think I'll pass, but thank
you.

What? You have a better offer?

Maybe.

[ chuckles ]

What?

Well, I was thinking,

with your quirky personality,

you must not go out too often.

I get plenty of dates.

In fact, that's where I'' ' m
headed

as soon as I'm finished helping
you.

Really?

Yeah, don't act so shocked.

What's his name?

His name is

It's none of your business.

That's what I thought.

His name is Sy, which is short
for Simon.

Are you always this annoying?

I like to call it being honest.

Well, Mr. Andrews,

there is such a thing as being
a bit too honest.

[ BEEP ]

(woman) Hey, Quinn, it's Nikki.

I thought we could study
together for law tonight,

and then maybe we

(Cal) Hey, Quinn, it's Cal.

You know, if you press this
button, you can leave a memo.

Check one, mic check.

Sibilance. Sibilance.

beep

(Lisa) Hey, Quinn, it's Lisa.

I thought we could go dancing

(woman) Are you calling Quinn?

(Lisa) Excuse me!

(woman) Give me the phone.

(Lisa) You're so rude!

(woman) I got a message for
you, girl!

Hey, buddy.

How's it going?

[ Pong ponging ]

Dahhh!

Hey! Hey, man, what's going on?

When did you get back?

Ah, just now.

How was your day?

It's good.

I, uh, met a girl.

Ah, just be careful, bro.

That's a four-letter word.

No, she's, uh... she's
different.

Actually, I think the proper
term today is "challenged."

No, Cal, she's...better.

Better?

Come on, was she better than
the cheerleader?

Yeah. Too bubbly.

What about the librarian?

Boring.

That cute little redheaded
chick?

No eyebrows.

Yeah, well, they're all
different, man.

That's why they just call them
women.

Quick question.

Yeah.

When are you gonna get a new
game?

They make new games?

Language section.

Financial book you have in your
hand.

Financial section's over there.

You see this?

Well, look at this.

They're working on the 19 1/4.

I mean, I haven't seen anything
like this since '' ' 84.

Oh, Easternoh, ski resorts on
the same shelf.

Be good.

Okay.

They obviously didn't get the
memo!

Can I help you guys?

Get us the manager, son.

I'm the manager.

You're Mr. S-ounders?

I'm Mr. Sanders.

(Cal) That's what I said.

And you are?

Shlosky. Shlosky?

Jack Shlosky,

managing director of corporate
infrastructure.

You didn't get the L-10 memo,
did you?

L-L-10?

There goes the Q-4 profits.

Q-4 profits?

Who said anything about the Q-4
profits?

He...just

We just drove in from
Corporate.

Oh, from Michigan?

Yes, from Michigan.

18-hour drive.

Without a bathroom stop.

Without a bathroom stop,

if that helps illustrate the
seriousness of the situation.

Do we have a problem?

[ hyperventilating ]

Problem is, you have your store
in the old format.

This is last year's format
here, son.

I-I didn't know we had a
format.

Marketing has determined

consumers have an easier time
locating books

if you move everything from
there to there

and from there to there.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

It's all outlined right here in
this packet.

You can't be serious.

Oh, we can be serious.

We've been serious. We'' ' re
serious right now.

If you don't move these
sections, we move you.

You get the point, eh?

Are you sure you'refrom
Corporate?

He just transferred in from the
Canadian corporate offices.

Oh.

Yeah, they're just like the
American offices,

just with...hockey.

The whole store?

Do you want to be responsible

for losing franchising rights?

'Cause I have the power to shut
this place down.

He does. I do.

He's got the power.

The power.

What power?

Of Grayskull.

It's just I'm a little
short-staffed right now.

(Quinn) Why is that, Mr.
Sanders?

Well, I had to let somebody go.

Who? Jessica Lindstrom.

Why?

She had some
less-than-desirable work
habits.

Lindstrom, Jessica. Look that
up.

Lindstrom. It's L-y

L-i... N. There'syeah

There's a D, right? D.

Ah, ah, ah. Too many letters.

No, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

You guys dated.

How did you know that?

It's in your personal records.

We know everything.

Everything?

Ever-y-thing.

Everything?

You fired someone you dated?

You crazy, man?

You want to open yourself up

to a multimillion-dollar
lawsuit?

No, jeez, no.

Then I suggest you hire her
back.

Immediately!

With a raise!

Without question.

There shouldn't be any
questioning.

Now go get your store in order.

Uh, I will. I will.

You know what? You got one
week.

One week, then we come back
with the auditors.

The auditors are coming?

Mm-hmm, prime directive from
Corporate.

C-3...P-O.

Cancan I get your business
card?

Um...

Uh...

Why?

So you can call me,

looking for answers to
questions

you clearly should know?

Ho, ho, ho. I don't think so,
son.

I understand. I understand.

Go! Okay.

smack!

I told you we needed business
cards.

I know.

(Amelia's Dream) * Hey, baby,
where are you? *

* I'm want to love you all
over. *

* Closer. *

* Kiss me. *

(Abby) "If Monet is regarded

"as the impressionist par
excellence,

one must admit that both Degas
and Renoir are also"

If you don't pay attention,
it's not gonna work.

Ugh, I just don't get it.

It's so boring.

[ sighs ] I need a break.

Where's your bathroom?

It's, um, down the hallway.

These are really good.

Um...

This isn't the bathroom.

What's this?

Um, it's not done.

You know, I know a place where
you could show these.

I bet you could make money off
this.

You know what?

It's justit's really not about
money for me.

Then why do it?

If I have to tell you, it's not
worth it.

Go, go!

(professor) There are always
two people in art

:the observer and the observed.

Remember, art is subjective.

Each person gains new insights

as they allow themselves to
become immersed in art.

Let's turn to this last week's
assignment.

What new insights did you gain
from the exhibit?

Mr. Andrews?

Well, uh,

there's this one artist

named Dylan Thompson, who said

surrealism has less to do

with what is random and
senseless

and more to do with accepting

that our lives don't always
have to make sense.

Go on.

Well, uh, I remember looking at
one of his paintings.

And for someone willing to take
the time,

they could really find
something deeper to connect
with.

(professor) That's valid.

Kind of like those who...

judge people

before they get to know what''
' s really inside.

Good observation.

Now let's turn to page... uh,
621.

You see what you've created?

Oh, I didn't do anything.

You taught; I learned.

So Sy's cool with this whole
tutoring thing, right?

Yeah, yeah, he's, uh he'' ' s
pretty understanding.

Great.

Uh, see you later.

Okay.

Hey, Abby.

Yeah?

Thanks for your help.

You're welcome.

(Abby) I love that movie.

(Sy) Me too.

I mean, we've only seen it,
what, like, 30 times?

32.

Well, who's counting?

What guy would ever indulge me
like this?

That is just what I was
thinking.

Wow. Weird.

It was Goethe.

(Sy) Yeah, you're right.

I think it was Goethe who said

that people rarely love others
for who they really are

but rather what they imagine
them to be.

(Abby) Right.

(Sy) So go and prepare for
takeoff?

(Abby) Okay.

(Sy) Ready?

[ together ] One...two...three!

[ laughing ]

So, Sy, what do you imagine me
to be?

An angel.

Oh, really?

But obviously, I know

that you're really a
flesh-eating demon.

[ snorting ] I sure am!

It's cold.

Ooh, I have snow everywhere.

Ooh. Ooh! [ laughs ]

So anyway, turning to the
subject of imagination,

I believe it was Shakespeare
who said that...

[ bubbling ]

(Abby) Hey, Jess.

Hey.

Wow, you look like death warmed
over.

Quinn's plan to help helped too
much.

Ryan's killing us

trying to get the books
reorganized.

Oh, by the way,

Quinn called for you.

Really?

You like him.

No, I don't.

Well, I think he likes you.

You never know. He may ask you
out.

No, he won't.

Why?

Because he thinks I have a
boyfriend.

[ gasps ]

You didn't tell him about Sy,
did you?

Sort of.

Well, which part of "sort of?"

Like, Sy's sort of not real,
like he's imaginary?

Sort of.

Okay, Abby,

what's up with Sy?

You know, he's just there for
me all the time.

Well, that's great when you
were five,

but what about now?

Quinn's real, and he likes you.

He's going to think I'm crazy.

I didn't think you were crazy
when you told me.

We were five years old; we
didn't know any better.

Just tell him, okay?

Abby.

I'll tell him.

Okay, okay. This can work.

This has got to work.

(Jess) Hold everything!

Oh, no! Oh!

I found these from the World
History section.

Someone had them in Gardening.

No. No.

God, this is impossible.

I'm gonna kill Quinn.

What?

Nothing.

We should be halfway done by
now.

We're not even through the
Youth section yet.

We'll be fine.

It's starting to pick up.

No, it isn't.

If we don't get this turned
around,

Corporate's gonna have my job.

How's it feel?

I need you to work
Thanksgiving.

I can't.

I'll pay you double... triple.

[ rock music playing ]

Ugh!

Cal, what are you doing?

Fixing your car.

But my car's not broken.

Oh.

You know what?

You should just go to Abby'' '
s.

Am I supposed to walk?

[ chuckles ]

Well, I mean, obviously your
car's broken.

Bro, it was working before you

Shh, shh. Kitten? Kitten?

Why don't you just walk away?

It'll be done by the time you
get back, okay?

All righty. Great.

Oh, yeah!

Time travel is possible.

Ohh.

Here.

Try some of my favorite.

Oh, what is it?

One-flung-food.

One-flung-nothing.

I thought it was funny.

It was, uh, cute.

Oh, good.

Chinese.

I am starving.

Oh, it smells so good.

Mmm.

Ryan has me working
Thanksgiving.

What?

No, Jessica, you promised.

I'm sorry.

He's paying me triple.

What? Was that stupid?

It's not stupid, just greedy.

I'm gonna take mine to go.

Don't study too hard.

Did Jess just steal half our
dinner?

Yeah, pretty much.

Here, take your fortune

before she comes back and
steals that.

I love these.

And Confucius says

:"It is important to look out

for that which you cannot see."

Huh, what the hell does that
mean?

I have no idea.

[ birds chirping ]

Sy, what are you doing?

I know when I'm not wanted.

Is this about last night?

I just hope that you're happy
with him.

With Quinn?

Of course with Quinn.

If he breaks your heart, I
swear

What are you gonna do, hmm?

Are you gonna, like, stab him
with some imaginary sword?

Careful.

Sorry.

That man is a player.

He'she's a wolf in sheep's
clothing.

(Abby) Wait a second.

Hey, that's mine.

We bought this together.

You can have the telly. It
won't fit in my bag.

All right, stop. Enough; sit
down.

Now, you listen to me. I am not
gonna leave you for him, okay?

You promise?

Mm-hmm.

Then prove it to me.

Fine; anything.

Well, do you have to spend so
much time spoon-feeding that
baboon?

I mean, couldn't you just lend
him one of your art books?

He can read, can't he?

[ rock music ]

* *

(woman) * I know what you'' '
re thinkin'. *

* I know where you're goin'.
*

* And I know what you're
doin'now. *

buzz!

crash!

(Cal) Hello? Hello!

(Abby) Hello?

(Cal) That's what I said:
Hello?

[ loud screech ]

Somebody say something!

Hello, I'm looking for Quinn
Andrews.

Hello? Hello?

I'm looking for a Quinn
Andrews?

Quinn

Yo.

Hi.

Hey, good, I thought I had the
wrong door.

Wait. Then maybe I have the
wrong door.

Why does this keep happening to
me?

Isis Quinn here?

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, we're both in the right
place, then.

Good.

Well, I've actually seen you
before.

You know, at the bookstore.

What bookstore?

Borders, on 5th.

What'd I look like?

You looked like you, you know,

welloh, except you were wearing
pants.

Ohh, pants.

Yeah, that sounds like that
could've been me.

Yeah, all right. Come on in.

Oh, yeah, you're the
artist-type person

that's helping Quinn with his
homework.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, the one who's dating that
guy

with that really weird name.

Sy, right.

That's not that weird.

Um, do you think you could just

give this to Quinn for me,
please?

You know what? No. No.

It's not really not a good
idea.

I tend to lose things,

and when I lose them, Quinn
gets mad.

Then when he gets mad, he
yells,

and I fear the yelling.

So maybe you should just give
it to him yourself, okay?

Okay.

Your face is good.

You want some chicken salad?

I made it with ham.

UhitI

Hey.

I didn't expect to see you
here.

Oh, yeah, you know, um, Calvin
let me in.

Oh, great.

You want something to eat or
drink?

I think Cal made
chicken...something.

Uh, no, actually...

I justI came by to give you
this book.

Oh, great. We can study here.

Yeah, I was just kind of
thinking, you know,

you could study by yourself.

Whoa, whoa.

Are you trying to bail on our
deal?

No.

Good.

Here we go.

(Cal) Um, you know what?

I think I'm just gonna

I'm gonna go missing for a
little while here, all right?

I hope you're not leaving
because of me.

It's totally 'cause of you;
this is just weird.

[ mumbling ] This awkwardness
and

Well, uh, it was nice meeting
you.

Nice meeting you too, um...

Abby.

That could've been it.

He's a little...

Different.

I believe the proper term

used today is "challenged."

(Cal) Oh, man. Oh.

Oh.

[ door closes ]

Okay, so, um, 202, 203, yeah,
up to 205

and, um, the top of 207,

and, yeah, I think you should
be good.

All right.

Hey, you hungry?

Uh, no. Mm-mm, fine.

You're not hungry at all?

Uh-uh. No, I'm good.

Thank you, though.

Look me in the eye and tell me
you're not hungry.

Say it; you're almost there.

"Quinn, I'm a little..."

I'm a little hungry.

Great; let's get something to
eat.

(Abby) You actually want me to
believe

that Johannes Vermeer traced
his art?

He used a camera.

Vermeer is a 17th-century
artist.

There weren't any cameras back
then.

He used a camera obscura, which
was a primitive camera.

Basically, it would project the
image onto the canvas.

You'd be surprised by the
number

of 17th-century artists who
experimented with it.

Just think about it.

You get hired to paint a great
grand duke

or a bishop, all right?

You cannot take any risks.

Okay.

Look at the lighting, the
perspective.

Most of the models in the
paintings are left-handed.

Well, so what?

Most people are right-handed.

The projections would have
mirrored the image.

What happened to the guy

that didn't know anything about
art?

It was a lot easier to hate
him.

Minor in history.

There you go.

Oh, um, let me

Oh, please. My treat.

Thank you.

I want to show you something.

You want to show me something?

It's a surprise.

Uh, yeah, no, thank you.

I'm notI'm not good at
surprises.

Oh, we're gonna change that.

I want you to consider this a
new experience, okay?

Come on.

(woman) * What do I know
about love surreal? *

* Do I know what it's like to
feel *

* what's in my heart but not
what's in my mind? *

(Quinn) So a bunch of local
artists have an exhibit here

aboutI don't know once a month.

Just thought you may want to
check it out.

How'd you find out about this
place?

Oh, I come for the music.

Oh.

Yeah, all kinds of bands come
in and out of here.

Next week, Brayde's performing.

Oh, really?

I like them.

That's cool.

Why don't you check out the
artwork,

and I'll grab us some drinks?

Okay.

Oh, excuse me.

(woman) * And I wonder why
I'm lost in space. *

* *

I used to have this phobia of
clowns.

Never did figure out the
origin.

Stephen King's ITdidn't really
help my condition, either.

Well, I think they're
beautiful.

Thanks.

You're an artist?

Uh, I'm an art student.

Don't worry.

It took me a while to admit I
was an artist too.

(woman) Hey, Verna. Come here
for a second.

[ woman singing in background ]

* *

* And I wonder why I'm lost
in space. *

[ man over PA ] Very nice.

[ applause ]

[ rock music ]

* *

Hey.

Oh.

Here you go.

Is everything okay?

I think I should go.

Yeah, okay, sure.

Okay.

(woman) Quinn.

Thanks again.

I'll pay you back. I promise.

I know you will.

Well, hey, you guys have a good
time.

And you have a terrific
boyfriend.

No, he's not-

You have a terrific boyfriend.

This must be so exciting for
you.

That girl was kind of cute.

Someone jealous?

No.

She's, uh, she's someone I've
known for a real long time.

Her mom got sick, so I lent her
money to fly home.

That's it.

You got to go home soon, huh?

Mm-hmm.

In a little bit.

Good.

You up for another surprise?

It's so pretty.

Yeah.

Hey, isn't that Calvin?

Out of the way!

Hey, you in the skates, out of
the way.

No, that's the Zamboni King.

I'm Canadian. I can't drive!

You like to skate?

I'm actually pretty good at it.

Great.

Then you can teach me.

You brought me here, and you
don't know how to skate?

You really can't skate, can
you?

I wouldn't lie to you.

Oh, my God.

I, um

There's, um, something that I
need to tell you about Sy.

What's that?

Oh, gosh!

Okay, you okay?

What would Sy think?

Well, he

There is something I want to
tell you...

(man) Watch out! Watch out!

[ humming ]

[ farts ]

[ knock at door ]

Hey, dude, is that you?

Who else would it be, Cal?

That's a fair point, I guess.

I'll be out in a minute; I'm
just taking a dump.

Hey, you ever wonder why they
say "taking a dump"?

Shouldn't it be "leaving a
dump"?

'Cause, you know, once it
passes the rim,

I'm not reaching in there for
anything.

You spend too much time alone,
my friend.

It gives me time to think.

Depends on your definition of
thinking.

Oh, yeah.

Cal, the light.

Quinn, the pants.

What are you talking about?

I thought we were playing word
association.

No, just shut off the light.

Yeah, no, I'm too tired.

You just walked past it.

And that should show you how
tired I am.

[ sighs ]

Hey, you know, when I was in
the bathroom,

I was thinking.

Aren't you glad we're not
women?

What?

I mean, don't get me wrong, you
know.

Having the boobs for a while
would be pretty cool,

but girls have to find a place
to go to the bathroom.

Guys, like, you know, the world
is our urinal, you know?

Wow, Cal, that's that's really
profound.

Who said that, Nietzsche?

Nieno, dude. I just did.

Just shut off the light.

So how's Tabby?

It's Abby.

Yeah, that's what I said,
Tabby.

She's great.

Cool.

So what happens next?

I don't know.

Like, I like her.

But she's got this boyfriend.

Oh, yeah, you know, she told me
about that guy.

He sounds really cool.

Oh, yeah, no, you don't stand a
chance.

Oh, great.

She went out with you, though,
didn't she?

Yeah.

Well, then maybe she'll settle
for somebody like you.

I mean, even if he is the
hottest guy on the planet.

She said that?

Oh, yeah.

She went off

You know what?

That might have been on TV.

I don't remember.

Perfect.

Cal, the glass.

Only hurts if you step on it,
my friend.

[ glass crunches ]

Ow!

(Sy) Good morning, darling one.

Good morning.

You got home late last night.

Hmm.

I thought you said you were
helping him

with his homework.

It was homework.

Oh, really?

At the skating rink?

That's a date.

It wasn't a date.

Look.

This is very hard for me, all
right?

I've never had to deal with a
real man in your life before.

I don't want to talk about this
right now.

Fine.

Well.

Next time you need me,

I might just be otherwise
engaged.

Hmph.

Hey.

Oh, hey, how are you?

I got us tickets to see Brayde
tonight at The Underground.

Oh, you did?

Oh!

It's on the house.

Hmm.

Thanks.

I can't go.

Really?

I-I thought we agreed on
studying tonight.

Yeah, I know. We did. I just,
uh, you know...

I kind of promised Sy I would
do something.

All right, uh...cool.

Then, uh, I'll just see you at
class.

Okay.

[ knock at door ]

It's open.

Wow.

You look like crap.

Well, thanks.

I was working all night sorting
books.

Hmm.

Hey, is, uh, Abby home?

Uh-uh.

Let me ask you something.

Tell me about Sy.

What?

You know, what's he like?

What does he look like?

Oh, uh

Well, Sy is...

well, he's kind of hard to
describe.

Well, he's here all the time,
isn't he?

Well, he works a lot.

Really? What does he do?

He's a...

well, he, uh...

Come on, it can't be that hard.

Well, it's just that I...

Yeah?

I don't want to make you feel
bad or anything.

Why would his work make me feel
bad?

Well, because...

because...

he's a lawyer.

Wow.

That's impressive.

What kind of lawyer is he?

Aha good one.

(professor) You know the drill.

Books off the desks.

No talking.

This is where I find out who
simply needs help

and who is simply helpless.

Hey!

Oh, hi!

How did you do on your test?

I think I did okay.

That's good.

Hey, how come you didn't tell
me Sy was a lawyer?

Oh, um, I-I didn't.

Yeah, Jess told me.

Oh, she did?

That's oh, well, um, there you
go!

Well, I was kind of thinking
maybe I could call him,

ask him some advice about
internships

and stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah, that'd be great!

Great, what's his number?

Um, oh, you know, he's working
on a big case right now.

Really? What kind of case?

Um, he works for the
government,

so it's sort of "Shh."

Oh, I understand.

Well, maybe he could call me.

Yeah, I will I'll have him call
you.

It's a good idea.

Abby? Yeah?

Where are you going?

Yeah, I have another class.

It's that way.

Yeah.

Hey, you know what I think?

Huh?

I think you need a break.

I don't think so.

I think you do, and I think you
deserve it.

No, I'm good.

Is it okay to leave our stuff
here?

Yeah, just put it here.

Give me your hand.

Why do you need the flashlight?

Because it's gonna get dark.

It is?

Yeah.

Hey, what is this place?

Oh, it's

Oh, stupid...

flashlight.

This flashlight's not working.

Oh, my God!

[ Abby screams ]

Don't leave me in the dark.

You're a bad monkey.

(Quinn) It's the new dinosaur
museum

the university is opening up
next month.

Are we supposed to be in here?

It's no big deal.

Yeah, I don'tI don't think this
is such a good idea.

My man Big Al is a security guy
here.

He's says as long as we don't
touch anything, we'' ' re cool.

Trust me.

Wow, this place is just it'' '
s so amazing.

I told you.

Pretty cool, huh?

Yeah, it's, uh it's great.

clunk

Shh, shh.

What?

Oh, it's Big Al. Hang on.

Oh, okay.

That's not Big Al. That'' ' s
not Big Al!

What?

Run!

Oh!

[ whistling ]

Shh, shh!

Please, please.

Okay, I think he's gone.

Come on, let's go this way.

Okay.

[ rock music ]

* *

(Amy Collier) * Don't you
know I've lost control, *

* and that's okay with me. *
*

* You must think you're
something special. *

* That's okay with me. *

* Don't think that I can stop
it *

* when I'm with you. *

* You knock me off of my
feet. *

* Got me spinning around. *

* Turn my whole world upside
down. *

* This thing drives me crazy.
*

* Don't you make me want to
fall. *

* Think that love has taken
hold now. *

* That's okay with me. *

* You knock me off of my
feet. *

* You got me spinning around.
*

* Turn my whole world upside
down. *

* This thing drives me crazy.
*

* Don't you make me want to
fall. *

Do you have something I could
drink?

Uh, yeah.

There's soda in the cooler.

Thanks.

Ahh!

What? Are you okay?

Hello, darling one.

Oh, uh, yeah, umum

do you know how much I love
this soda?

(Sy) Look at him.

I wonder how many naive women

he's lured up here, huh?

Under the pretext of helping
him with his homework.

No soda?

Um, yeah, no.

No soda.

Actually, I would never like to
have soda

ever again.

Okay.

Uh, so, sorry this place is
such a wreck.

I wasn't really expecting
company.

And I think the last girl we
had here was Cal's mom.

Likely story.

Really.

I mean, don't you just love the
way the surrealists

make our wildest imaginings
come to life?

Neanderthal man, your thoughts?

Yeah.

Fascinating insight.

It's like they're speaking

a foreign language we can
understand,

but you just don't know how.

Where the hell did that come
from?

That is beautiful.

Thanks for walking me home.

Oh, it's nothing.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

You know, uh, anytime Sy's out
of town

and you need a walker-homer,
I'm your guy.

I am not out of town, right?

I'm very much in town.

Ah, I'll let you know.

You know, I was just I was
wondering.

I mean, I'm sure you've already
got

you've got plans, you know,
about Thanksgiving,

but, if you don't

Actually, it's, uh, beer and
bacon sandwiches with Cal.

Abby, please, do not invite him
to Thanksgiving.

Would you like to come to
Thanksgiving with me

at my parents'house?

You sure you want me to come?

Yeah, I'm I'm really sure.

What about Sy?

(Sy) Yeah, what about me?

(Abby) You know, he's English.

They don't really do
Thanksgiving.

(Jess) So you invited him to go
to your parents'?

Well, yeah.

I don't know what got into me.

Whatever it is, I think it'' '
s good.

Jess, I need you.

Can't you see I'm having my
coffee break?

Yeah, yeah.

It's just that, uh,
Thanksgiving is tomorrow,

and we're only about halfway
through,

so if you could just...

Are you harassing me because of
our prior relationship?

No, no, but

Do we need to call Corporate?

No, no, no. No.

That'sthat's fine.

No, you go ahead,

and just let me know when you''
' re, uh, back, then.

That's fun.

So how are things going between
you and Quinn?

They're going fine, thanks.

Well, that's decisively
indecisive.

He's kind of cute.

You haven't told him about Sy,
have you?

Mm-mm.

I was going to, but I, uh

You know, maybe it's time you
let Sy go.

Mm, no.

It's not really easy.

Well, sure it is.

No, it's not.

Well, Jess, look at you.

No offense, but every
relationship you get into

seems to be dysfunctional.

Abby, having an imaginary
boyfriend

is textbook dysfunctionality.

Okay.

I mean, it's like those
paintings you do of him.

They're perfect,

but you need to paint somebody
that's real,

somebody that moves

and, you know, breathes.

Hey, hey, that's my face that
you're ripping up.

No, it's hopeless.

My, work, it's dead. It'' ' s
lifeless.

No, it is not.

Look, you cannot listen to that
bookstore clerk.

What did I tell you

about real people?

You know, what if she's right?

What if I should be painting
real people?

What, you mean like Quinn?

Huh, because I'm so boring and
lifeless,

and he's so full of manly
vigor?

I didn't say that.

Let me tell you something.

You know, I am pretty bored of
this whole

soppy-sweet, sexually
nonthreatening persona

that you've given me

:"Oh, oh, my darling,

nothing is too good for you."

You know, I think I do pretty
well

with the material that you'' '
ve given me.

Yes, that's exactly the
problem.

I give you everything.

Maybe I need somebody who gives

No, say no more.

It's fine.

You know, I'll just go and see
my friends,

my other friends,

who don't think that I'm
lifeless and boring.

What other friends? You're
imaginary.

Do you really think that you'
re the only one who dreams me
up?

There are thousands of lonely
women just like you,

and some men, who dream of me.

Yeah, they lavish their
affections on me.

Granted, they may not all be as
attractive as you,

but Milly from Minnesota is
really quite charming

if you can get past her accent.

Milly from Minnesota?

So I hope that you have a
spectacular painting session

with your Neanderthal
boyfriend.

Thank you.

Oh, and by the way.

Hmm?

I hate romantic comedies!

Great!

All right, pretty boy.

Come on, fire one in here.

Oops, my bad.

Let's go, chief.

See if you can get past

the mighty Canadian!

[ groans ]

You okay?

Mm, mm-hmm.

I'm good, baby. Come on.

Give me another one.

Come on!

But I just hit you in the
Ca-nuts.

You only caught the right one.

I'm invincible!

Slap it in!

[ groans ]

Ohhhh....

* Canada, my home and native
land. *

Come on!

So I'm going to Abby's for
Thanksgiving.

That should be fun.

You, her, and the lawyer.

He's not going.

Oh. Well, hey, man, that's
great for you.

You know, you can make your
move.

Come on, Cal. You know I'm not
that guy.

Besides, we're just friends.

You know what?

Everything starts as just
friends,

but then the next thing you
know

Oh, my

I'm okay.

Just gotta

Uh-oh.

This happens all the time, man.

Need help?

I'm stuck in the net.

I'm good.

All right.

I'm gonna get going.

What? Hey!

What about our feast?

Bacon and beer?

It's Thanksgiving!

I think I'll take Abby.

Over bacon?

I like her more than swine,
Cal.

That's love, man.

Later, bro.

Hey!

Hey, you know, if you leave me,
I'd kind of look silly.

All right, okay.

Here we go.

Oh, thanks.

These are for you.

I mean, if that's okay.

Yeah, it's, it's great.

Thanks, I-I've never been given
flowers before.

Thank you. Really?

Oh, you know, from anyone
besides Sy.

Yeah, of course, Sy.

I mean, those are more like,
you know,

"Hey! Happy Thanksgiving!"
flowers.

Idiot!

(Pearson) * On a day like
today, *

* I could take a chance on
someone new. *

* On a day... *

(Abby) I want you to think of
this as a new experience, okay?

(Quinn) Which house is yours?

(Abby) Trust me, you'll know.

(Pearson) * On a day like
today. *

Your parents really get into
this, huh?

Yeah.

You should have seen it during
the Garlic festival.

The what?

Oh, the I'll tell you later.

You ring your own doorbell?

Oh, yeah.

Safer.

Happy Turkey Day! Hi!

Come in. Come in.

Your father will be out in a
moment.

Very nice to see you again,
Quinton.

(George) Oh, look who's here!

Good!

Mary Louise, where's my turkey
head?

In the attic next to your
Frankenstein suit.

The attic!

Yeah! Great.

Well, come on, I have some
pilgrim punch for you!

Oh, okay.

(Quinn) You know, I make a mean
gobbler cobbler.

(George) Look out! Turkey
coming through!

Watch my tail.

I'll just take some of this.

George!

You do that again, I'm going to
have Quinton

tie you to the table and baste
you for dinner!

Besides, I think a turkey
eating turkey

is cannibalistic.

You guys have been everywhere.

Yeah, we used to travel all
over the place.

There's no pictures of Abby.

Well, she was usually taking
the pictures.

That's when we went to the
Grand Canyon.

Abby, when were we at the Grand
Canyon?

I've never been to the Grand
Canyon.

Oh, yeah.

We usually left her with her
Aunt Edna.

Hey, that reminds me of a joke.

Oh, Quinn, come on.

Why did the police arrest the
turkey?

(Abby) We'll be back.

Where are you going?

We're gonna eat in an hour!

He was suspected of fowl play.

Oh, Father.

That's a funny joke, sweetie.

(Abby) Sorry about rushing you
out of there.

You know, Dad jokes are not
really funny.

So, anyways, this is

this is kind of the place that
I went to

when, um, you know, parents
were parents.

I hear you.

My dad's a shrink.

Really?

Yeah, psychoanalyzes everyone.

Cal actually hasn't been to the
house in some time.

That makes sense.

Yeah, for obvious reasons.

Uh, do you swing?

I swing, yes.

(woman) Oh, my God. I fell.

Oh, I remember them being so
much larger.

It's kind of scary growing up,
isn't it?

Yeah, it is, huh?

So, uh...

is this where you and Mr.
Wonderful hang out?

Jealous?

No, I'm not jealous.

Someone's jealous.

I love these things.

Ugh, I hate them.

They make me nauseous.

Are you kidding me?

They're the worst. They'' ' re
awful.

Come on, real quick. For me.

No.

30 seconds give me 30 seconds.

No.

What's the worse thing that can
happen in 30 seconds?

No, I don't want to!

30 seconds, then you're free,
okay?

Okay, but go slow. Slow!

I'mI didn't even start yet.

You're going too fast.

Now I'm going to start. No,
please don't

Just a little bit. I'm getting
dizzy.

Just a little bit! I'm going to
throw up.

No, pleaseno

It's not that bad.

It's okay. You're safe with me.

Just hold on.

Oh!

(Mary Louise) Well, I just
about got the bleeding stopped.

This is really embarrassing.

I'm sorry.

Oh, don't worry about it,
Quinn.

I was a field medic in '' '
Nam.

I've seen worse than this!

Oh, Dad, Dad, it's okay.

I don't think he's going to
need your services.

You know, when I was a kid on
the playground,

never a scratch.

Now look at me.

Well, Abby used to come home
every other day

with a bump or bruise.

She always blamed it on Sy.

Mom, you don't have to talk
about that.

It's okay.

What about Sy?

Did he ever get hurt?

Mom, there's those buns, right?

Theyou don't want them to burn,
do you?

Sy never got hurt.

Yeah, yeah!

I smell something...

Ah, there's a fire!

Oh, my gosh.

There's something there'' ' s
something

it's burning in the kitchen.

Oh, there's nothing burning.

You're imagining things.

No, Mom, I'm not imagining
things.

You imagine things all the
time.

Well, what about Sy?

Her perfect imaginary friend.

At what age

did you finally give him up?

(George) Oh, honey, honey,
look, the meat.

The meat is frozen to his head
now!

Yipies!

Careful!

(Mary Louise) Oh, it's okay.

Don't let the dog out!

Don't let the dog out!

I have been trying to tell you.

Really?

Would you please just let me

Explain?

Explain that you lied to me,
that you blew me off

for somebody who doesn't even
exist?

[ sighs ]

I mean, I felt guilty

having feelings for you.

And it's all because

you made me believe you had a
boyfriend.

I didn't make him up because of
you.

That's what I'm trying to tell
you.

Please.

Tell me.

I didn't have parents that
understood

that raising me was a job.

I just kind of felt like this
accessory.

And I don't know if you'' ' ve
ever really felt loneliness
before.

You know, but I have.

You know, the Sy that you keep
hearing about is...

is just a place that I went to
that made it easier.

I don't know what to say.

I'm sorry...that I

Sorry.

I'm gonna go.

Yeah.

I think you should.

Abby.

Take these.

(Ted Bruner) * Somehow I got
myself wound up in you. *

Quinn!

Quinn?

Quinn!

Hey, buddy.

Little help, baby.

Come on, man, the blood's
rushing to my head.

I'm starting to feel woozy.

Oh, yeah, this could be Hey, a
dime!

(Sy) You're going to get over
him,

and I'm going to be here to
help you.

You've just never fallen for a
real guy before.

You've never felt real pain.

But I'm not sure I've felt real
love, either.

(Bruner) * I was much better
off *

* before I got wound up in
you. *

Did you find everything okay?

Yeah! I love the new setup.

Oh, wonderful.

Happy holidays. Thank you.

There are two people from
Corporate here,

and they're looking for me.

Do they look mad?

Ryan, I think you should know
something.

What?

Excuse me, Miss...

Well, those two guys from
Corporate...

they weren't from Corporate.

They weren't?

It was my cousin and his
roommate.

Your cousin works for
Corporate?

[ bell dings ]

Hello?

No, my cousin did it to get my
job back.

[ bell dings ]

Look, this register's...

It's for you.

Are you Ryan Sanders?

Yeah, I'm Ryan Sanders.

We've been getting some calls

on some changes you've been
making

in your store.

I can explain that.

Very impressive.

Most of this is her faul

You like it?

Yes.

You really like it?

Like it? We love it.

Love it.

Well, weRyan and I came up with
it together.

If that's the case,

you both should be commended.

Our company needs more
self-motivated employees

like the two of you.

We'll be keeping our eyes on
you,

since we'll be needing a new
regional manager

before too long.

Of course, that's if your
lovely assistant

is willing to become manager
here.

You know, you, uh, could have
taken

all the credit for yourself.

Why didn't you?

Because we did it, Ryan, as a
team.

Yeah, yeah.

I guess we did, huh?

You know, there's a nice way to
handle the books,

and that wasn't it.

You're funny.

You're a funny girl, really.

(professor) I have mixed
emotions with your results.

With some of you, I was
pleasantly surprised.

Others, disappointed.

But most of you performed
exactly as I had expected.

Oh...

Hey, Quinn.

Quinn, Quinn, what'd you get on
the test?

Oh, wow, an A. That's really
great.

We both kept our part of the
deal.

Yeah, so, um, when do you want
to start

studying for the final?

I think I'll be better on my
own.

What are you doing?

Changing.

To what?

I don't know yet.

This is looking a little tired
too.

And it's got dirt on it.

I sure wish Abby'd come with us
sometime.

Oh, she could bring that friend
of hers, Quinn.

Oh, wouldn't that be fun?

Oh!

I sure do like him.

He seems like a nice fellow.

Tall too.

Well, I guess this means things
can get back to normal.

Our relationship isn't normal,
Sy.

You can't hold me or kiss me
or...

You know, the thing is...

The thing is, is that...

The thing is that it's time for
me to say good-bye.

I know.

I can't imagine my life without
you.

That's what happens.

Girls grow up,

and then they leave their
imaginary boyfriends.

I'm sorry that I that I clung
on so hard.

I just couldn't bear to see you
suffer.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you too.

Good luck with, uh with Quinn.

He's gonna come back to you.

I don't

Just don't be too hard on him

if he doesn't want to go to
lots of romantic movies.

Most guys, they don't like that
stuff.

Sy.

Thank you.

(George) Sweetie, I'm so glad
you came!

Hi.

It's so much better with you
here.

Well, it's time to try
something new.

Hey, is everybody ready?

Well, yeah!

All righty.

[ laughs ]

Oh!

Hmm.

Honey, it's not too impressive.

Oh, it's terrific.

Just wait till tonight.

It's gonna look wonderful.

You sure I'm not adopted?

Oh, I love you too, dear.

Should we tell her about her
headstone?

Oh, dear.

Let's save that for Christmas
Day.

(Bruner) * We'll never be
like this again. *

* So we'll never. *

* The look on my face
forever, 'cause I may never
see... *

It could be fun.

Thanks, but... I don't think
so, Sarah.

Hey, call me if you change your
mind.

Bye.

[ fast guitar music ]

(Cal) * Cookin'. *

* *

* Uh, bacon! *

* *

[ together ] * The bacon! *

(Cal) * The bacon, yeah,
yeah, *

* yeah. *

* *

Is that a flat?

It's flat.

There you go. There it is.

Cal, what are you doing?

Hey, what's going on?

No, that's my cousin Jasper
right here,

and this is, uh, my
stepmother's

half-brother's son Darwin.

What's up?

How's it goin'?

We're just hanging out here,
getting our music down,

because we're going to record
an album.

[ guitar strumming ]

Lynn Jones and the Crazy Pucks.

[ laughs ]

We're awesome.

Fitting.

Dude, it's below freezing out
here.

Yeah, you know what?

I actually think the cold

helps our musical ability.

So, huh, how's the old dating
game going?

Man, it's like a bad reality
show.

That good, huh?

No, Cal, that's bad.

Oh.

Bro, is there ever a time

when eight out of the ten
voices in your head agree on
one thing?

You know, I don't know.

I've never asked them.

But I do know that they want to
know

why you walked away from Abby.

"Why you walked away from
Abby."

* Why did you walk away... *
*

* Walk away from Abby! *

Make it A-bby.

* Abby! *

(Cal) * Now he's walking away
*

* from us. *

* I better go, 'cause he's
kind of fragile. *

* Now you're walking away
from me. *

I gotta go; he's fragile and
like a girlwork with that.

* Like a girl... *

* Please don't take my
sandwich, *

* 'cause that's what I like
to eat! *

That was rude.

We had issues.

Come on, man, you're the one

who's got issues with
commitment.

And take it from somebody's
who's been committed

:you got to let love take care
of itself.

That makes about as much sense

as a Kamikaze pilot wearing a
helmet.

Hey, just because somebody'' '
s a practicing Kamikaze

does not mean they shouldn'' '
t be safe.

Kamikaze pilots committed
suicide, Cal.

Yeah!

They understood commitment.

You don't understand.

Her boyfriend she made him up!

He doesn't exist. He's
imaginary.

So?

When I was growing up,

I was the kid next door's
imaginary friend.

Not funny.

Yeah, wasn't for me either.

Thinking 'cause I'm imaginary,
I never had to use the
bathroom.

It was, like, the worse month
of my life.

Cal, please, just two seconds,
man.

There's no such thing as the
perfect woman, bro.

She just doesn't exist.

The only thing I know is that
since you met her,

you're the happiest I'' ' ve
ever seen you.

I'm not happy right now.

Well, maybe that's because
you're sitting here

talking to the wrong person.

Jess, do you know where I can
find Abby?

She's not here.

Do you know where she is?

No, and I don't think she'' ' s
up to seeing you.

Because of Sy?

Because of you.

Me?

You were the first real guy
she's ever loved.

And at the first sign of
trouble, what did you do?

Jess, please, I just want to
find her.

Excuse me, I was wondering if
you could help me find a book

on the mating rituals

of the African dung beetle.

I know exactly where that book
is.

Okay, well, mm, I'm going to
get going.

Just let me know if you see
her.

Thank you,

uh, Abdul.

Oh, no, actually, it's Jess.

That's pretty too.

And your name?

David.

David, David.

I like that name.

(CJ Wooley) * I saw a face in
the clouds *

* before the rain. *

* It felt good to see you
again. *

* Then it all washed away. *
*

* I can't explain *

* how I missed you. *

* If I'd only known *

* how much this would hurt, *
*

* how I would be craving to
be in your world. *

* Now I know. *

* I should have never let you
go. *

(Quinn) Abby?

I saw your painting.

I wanted to paint something
real.

Who are those for?

They're for you.

That is, if, uh, Sy doesn't
have a problem with it.

He's gone.

You know I'm not perfect.

I'm not looking for perfect
anymore.

(Paul Umbach) * Don't wake me
from this dream. *

* This could be everything, *
*

* everything that we want. *
*

* I feel my heart begin to
race *

* every time I see your face.
*

* You're everything *

* I wish I'd ever know, *

* It's the meaning of why I
am here. *

* Turn to me. Don't
disappear. *

* I want you to be right here
with me. *

* This could be... *

* You're feeling that our
love's forsaken. *

* But don't be afraid of
never learning how to fall in.
*

* And maybe we will be as
one. *

* This could be everything, *
*

* everything that we want. *
*

* It's a world that I begin
to see *

* every time you're next to
me. *

* You're everything. *

* I need you in my heart. *

* It's the meaning of why I
am here, *

* so turn to me, my love. *

* This could be everything, *
*

* everything that we want. *
*

* Hold me here beside you
now. *

* I need to feel your touch
somehow. *

* You'll never, ever find a
love like mine. *

* No. *

[ upbeat rock music ]

* *

(Amelia's Dream) * Hey, baby,
where are you? *

* I want to love you all
over. *

* Closer. *

* Kiss me. *

* I know you've got to miss
me. *

* Well, it would be so
divine. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* I wish that this would last
forever *

* in your arms. *

* I can feel your toes *

* snuggled up to mine. *

* I wish you'd just wake up *
*

* and hold me through the
night. *

* It would be so divine. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* I wish that this would last
forever. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* I wish that this would last
forever. *

* You're touching my hair. *
*

* I'm getting tingles, I
swear. *

* You move close to me *

* and I am set free. *

* Free! *

* *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* I wish that this could last
forever. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* I wish that this could last
forever. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *

* In your arms. *