All language subtitles for 006 - 01x06 - neck

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:43,075 If a bucket of paint falls on a man's head, that's funny. 2 00:00:43,076 --> 00:00:46,245 If the bucket fractures his skull at the same time 3 00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,080 and kills him, that's not funny. 4 00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:49,548 It's tragic. 5 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,651 And yet, if a man falls into a sausage machine 6 00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:55,154 and is sold in the shops at so much a pound, 7 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,256 that's funny. 8 00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,692 It is also tragic. 9 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,794 So, why is it funny? 10 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,763 I don't know, but what I do know 11 00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:07,366 is that somewhere within this very difficult area 12 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,968 lies the secret of all black comedy. 13 00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:11,937 The play you're going to see now 14 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:14,440 is one of those blackish comedies, 15 00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,042 and thanks to the presence of two famous stars, 16 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:18,911 it's come out a good deal funnier 17 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,146 than I was ever able to make it on paper. 18 00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,788 Lady Turton, who ran her husband's newspaper empire 19 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:32,558 as aggressively as she ran his house in Norfolk, 20 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:35,694 didn't know that Sir Basil had invited an extra guest 21 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:38,397 for the weekend-- John Bannister. 22 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,810 Gently. 23 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:53,545 It's irreplaceable. 24 00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:00,419 Jelks? 25 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,620 Milady... 26 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:02,921 What is going on? 27 00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:06,558 Basil? Basil? 28 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:08,460 Have you gone out of your mind? 29 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:09,862 Hello, my dear. 30 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,864 What on earth is this tradesman's van 31 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,032 doing at the front? 32 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:17,002 My latest acquisition. Quite wonderful-- 33 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:19,571 Basil, what will my guests think? 34 00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:22,174 Really, Basil, you've no style-- 35 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,942 no style at all! 36 00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:47,700 This way. 37 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,635 [Chimes ringing] 38 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:55,841 Here. 39 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,776 [Clock striking] 40 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,617 [Car horn honking] 41 00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:19,898 [Car horn honking] 42 00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:33,679 Evening, Jelks. 43 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,381 JELKS: Good evening, sir. 44 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,915 Who else have we got for the weekend? 45 00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,083 Hardly anyone, sir-- 46 00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,852 yourself and Miss Carmen La Rosa, 47 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,887 and a young friend of Sir Basil's, 48 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,155 I believe, sir. 49 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,024 The young chap blocking the drive? 50 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,558 Very possible, sir. 51 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,960 Good-looking, is he? 52 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,762 Presentable? Bit of young blood? 53 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,764 I have no idea, sir. 54 00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,099 You'll find Lady Turton in the library, sir. 55 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,401 Thank you. 56 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,002 Send up my bags, will you? 57 00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,370 I'll change first. 58 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,685 Isn't she beautiful? 59 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,631 Thank you. Thank you. 60 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:31,003 Ah, you made it. 61 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,905 Good. Well, what do you think? 62 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,440 She's just arrived. 63 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:35,607 I like it. 64 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,443 She looks better than when we saw her last 65 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,044 in the sale room, don't you think? 66 00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,279 No comparison. 67 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,814 Oh, I realize I paid over the odds, 68 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,083 but we couldn't let her go 69 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,984 to Dusseldorf, could we? 70 00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:48,420 Anyway, I had to have her. 71 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:51,523 She fills a real gap in my collection. 72 00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,292 I like the way he's used 73 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,894 the natural grain of the wood. 74 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,629 Don't tell Lady Turton that. 75 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,798 She hates what she calls "art talk." 76 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,143 MAN: Can't imagine what he was doing, 77 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,378 young idiot. 78 00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:16,081 Hmm. A young man in a sports car. 79 00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:18,751 Parked his pedal car all over the drive. 80 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,220 I blasted him with my horn. 81 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,988 [Laughing] 82 00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,959 Jelks tells me he's Basil's guest. 83 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,060 LADY TURTON: Hmm. 84 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,463 I say, does he ride? 85 00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,532 Oh, we'll have to see. 86 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:36,735 If he's Basil's guest, he's bound to be a drip. 87 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:37,836 [Laughter] 88 00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,375 Well, now, I take that back. 89 00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:45,377 SIR BASIL: My dear, may I introduce John Bannister. 90 00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,680 We happened to meet at Sotheby's. 91 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,381 Oh, Basil haunts that place. 92 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:51,083 Every honest penny I earn, 93 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,152 he spends on art. How do you do? 94 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,720 How do you do, Lady Turton? 95 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:56,722 Oh, Natalia, please. 96 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:57,890 Basil, 97 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,893 do give this presentable young man a drink. Come. 98 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,061 JELKS: Allow me, sir. 99 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,430 Carmen, John. Carmen La Rosa. 100 00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,899 How do you do? Are you horsy? 101 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,133 Not really, no. 102 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,102 Oh. Then we won't have anything 103 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,504 to say to each other. What do you do? 104 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:13,839 I'm an art historian. 105 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,040 [Chokes] 106 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,109 Oh, my God! How awful for you. 107 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,244 Jelks, get me another martini. 108 00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:22,281 I've just met an art historian. 109 00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,183 Oh, I think you've met Jack-- 110 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,351 Major Haddock. 111 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:27,519 In a way, yes. How do you do? 112 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,687 Evening. 113 00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,290 Stupid place to leave a car. 114 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,058 I was admiring the view. 115 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,860 Don't we all? 116 00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:39,732 Basil, for God's sake, take our guest upstairs. 117 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,067 I cannot stand tweeds after 6:00. 118 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,570 I can't wait to see you in a black tie. 119 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:11,030 There's an admired view of the garden, sir. 120 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,000 The bathroom in here. 121 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,405 Beware of the flush, sir. 122 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,572 It's quite powerful. 123 00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,341 Oh, thank you. 124 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,443 Dinner at 7:30, sir. 125 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,878 Thank you. 126 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,248 Don't bother with the-- 127 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,416 No bother, sir. 128 00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:32,818 That catch is rather tricky. 129 00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:35,154 I seem to have got the better of it, sir. 130 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,122 Look, there's hardly anything to hang up. 131 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,757 I just threw in a few things. 132 00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:40,526 Quite, sir. Just a weekend bag. 133 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:41,694 Look, really, 134 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,529 I'd rather you didn't. 135 00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,364 Do you play bridge, sir? 136 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,633 Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. 137 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:48,801 Ah, well, then, 138 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:49,968 you'll be doubly welcome here, sir, 139 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,136 believe me. 140 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,338 They play a lot of bridge, do they? 141 00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:53,972 Yes, sir. And poker and gin rummy, 142 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,608 but Sir Basil prefers bridge. 143 00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,010 I see you favor the modern approach 144 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,345 to evening dress, sir. 145 00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:00,512 What? 146 00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,047 Snap on, snap off. 147 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,051 It's a bit creased. 148 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:07,720 You launder it yourself, sir? 149 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,288 It's drip dry. 150 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:12,658 Quite. I can't wear man-made fabrics myself. 151 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,094 I find the static electricity 152 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,595 it generates inconvenient. 153 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:19,365 One tends to give off blue flashes in the dark. 154 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,733 That will be all, Jelks. 155 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,601 Oh, but your pumps, sir. 156 00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:23,936 Pumps? 157 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,170 Your evening footwear, sir. 158 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,572 They may require polish, possibly. 159 00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,273 No. No, they're fine, really. 160 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,742 Very well, sir. 161 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,610 I'll just leave you to it, then. 162 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,245 Thank you. 163 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,847 Thank you, sir. 164 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,951 Yes, of course. 165 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:42,454 I never accept emolument, sir. 166 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,323 No tips? 167 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,092 If I might offer a little further advice, sir? 168 00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,394 Yes? 169 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,962 It's simply that her ladyship 170 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:52,464 does somewhat tend to overbid her hand. 171 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,233 Thank you, Jelks. 172 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,804 Oh, one further point, sir. At dinner-- 173 00:08:58,805 --> 00:08:59,972 Yes? 174 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,573 Her ladyship's right foot 175 00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,609 doesn't always seem to know 176 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:05,010 what her left foot is doing. 177 00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:07,046 That will be all, Jelks! 178 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,981 I sincerely hope so, sir. 179 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,619 So, what exactly do you specialize in 180 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,487 as an art historian? 181 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,523 Oh, Renaissance. 182 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:22,995 Oh. Basil used to call me his Memling Madonna, 183 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,997 but I always saw myself more like that. 184 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,501 The telephone, milady. 185 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,870 Oh, no. What a bore. Who is it? 186 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,572 The editor of the "Sunday Globe," 187 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,940 milady. [Sighs] 188 00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,409 I am a slave to Basil's inheritance. 189 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,378 Now, his father-- 190 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,547 what a magnificent man he was. 191 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:45,551 Basil, wasn't your father a magnificent man? 192 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,619 Yes, dear. Very forthright... 193 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,755 like you. 194 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,223 Mmm. Brilliant. 195 00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,292 Built an international newspaper empire 196 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,094 out of the coarse "Fisherman's Gazette." 197 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,330 Such animal magnetism, even on his deathbed. 198 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:01,266 But does his son take after him? 199 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,434 Well... 200 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,336 The editor is waiting, milady. 201 00:10:04,337 --> 00:10:05,871 He needs to know how many nudes 202 00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,773 you require for the front page 203 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,341 of the northern edition, milady. 204 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:10,909 Thank you, Jelks. 205 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:13,612 I shall tell him to think big. 206 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,681 [Laughter] 207 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:20,319 Amazing woman. One for the book, eh? 208 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,520 Yes. 209 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,322 Tell me, what do you think 210 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,891 of Basil's art collection? Load of rubbish? 211 00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,326 Quite the reverse. 212 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,561 Oh. Don't know what you chaps see in it. 213 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:30,729 Well, for a start, 214 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:33,065 it must be worth millions. 215 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:36,001 Really? 216 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,737 Well, that's put the fear of God into him. 217 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:42,007 Oh, Basil, haven't you finished eating yet? 218 00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,910 He is the slowest eater in the world. 219 00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,679 Nibble, nibble, nibble. 220 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,747 Thank you, Jelks. 221 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:51,350 Tell cook the poached salmon was abominable. 222 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:52,651 With pleasure, milady. 223 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,586 I know how she values your opinion. 224 00:10:57,757 --> 00:11:00,092 Splendid dinner. I feel very replete. 225 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,727 MAJOR HADDOCK: Well, what's it to be tonight: 226 00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:05,864 gin rummy, liar dice, strip poker? 227 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,132 Bridge. 228 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:11,003 One spade. 229 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,305 3 clubs. 230 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,140 3 hearts. 231 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:17,943 No bid. 232 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,478 3 no trumps. 233 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:21,613 No bid. 234 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,282 No bid. 235 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,483 No bid. 236 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:28,120 Must you always bid 3 no trumps, Basil? 237 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,155 It makes the game so dull, 238 00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:31,990 so unadventurous. 239 00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:33,759 Not if one wins, dear. 240 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,263 What's the idea, man? 241 00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,265 I didn't ask for another scotch. 242 00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,034 No, sir, but as things are looking, 243 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,269 you may well need one, sir. 244 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,238 Are you still losing? 245 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,711 May I enquire the score, sir? 246 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,980 No, you may not. 247 00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:57,316 In fact, Jelks, you can go to bed. 248 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,018 This is our last hand. 249 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,519 Very good, milady. 250 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,489 Mr. Bannister and I are 1,200 up, Jelks. 251 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,491 How very gratifying, sir. 252 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,292 Good night, sir. 253 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,497 Ah. No go. It's all yours. 254 00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:15,734 We overbid, Natalia. I've told you before. 255 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,403 Oh, Jack, no postmortems. 256 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,705 You know I can't stand postmortems. 257 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:23,509 Basil, since winning's obviously worn you out, 258 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,044 I suggest you go to bed, too. 259 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,979 I am rather tired, dear. 260 00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,950 Oh, we'll settle in the morning, right? 261 00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,886 [Clock striking] 262 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,326 [Rattling] 263 00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,814 As a houseguest, Mr. Bannister, 264 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:03,749 you leave a lot to be desired. 265 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:04,950 Do I? 266 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,118 Mmm. 267 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,786 Beating your hostess at bridge? 268 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,088 Jack's furious. 269 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,723 And then locking your door. 270 00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:13,359 Tsk. Such ingratitude. 271 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,627 Besides, I have a key 272 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,429 to every bedroom in this house-- 273 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,631 all 47 of them. 274 00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:24,636 47? 275 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:29,742 Ha. Striped pajamas? 276 00:13:29,743 --> 00:13:31,543 I'm cold-blooded. 277 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,045 Oh. 278 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,948 Oh, and a bow. 279 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:39,985 How sweet. How old-fashioned. 280 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,657 Just think of this 281 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,726 as your bread-and-butter letter, darling, 282 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:50,396 written in advance. 283 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,331 [Both moaning] 284 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,468 [Click] 285 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:57,636 Jelks?! 286 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,972 Forgive me, milady. I thought I heard an intruder. 287 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:03,742 You are the intruder, Jelks. 288 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,844 Could I be of any service to you, sir? 289 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,213 Um...no. I'm... 290 00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:09,848 Go away, Jelks! 291 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,350 Hearing strange sounds, 292 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,787 I took the precaution of alerting Sir Basil, milady. 293 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:18,357 As a butler, Jelks, 294 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,459 you'd make a perfect baby minder. 295 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,898 I hope I've been of some service, sir. 296 00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,700 I suppose so, yes. 297 00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,268 If I might suggest it, 298 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,437 a chair braced firmly under the doorknob 299 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,105 is quite the best deterrent. 300 00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:36,408 Her ladyship has been known to sleepwalk before dawn. 301 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,910 Good night, Jelks. 302 00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,311 Good night, sir. 303 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:49,054 When my father died, 304 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,856 I was taken rather by surprise. 305 00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:52,324 Up until then, 306 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,927 I'd lived a very quiet bachelor life, 307 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,729 and suddenly at 40, 308 00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,798 I seemed to become enormously eligible. 309 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:03,402 Young ladies appeared from nowhere. 310 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,105 Oh, I bought that head last March. 311 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,339 A Frink? 312 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:08,907 Yes. 313 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,376 And then Natalia appeared 314 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,978 and literally swept me off my feet. 315 00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,147 All the others were rather miffed. 316 00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:16,782 She is very striking. 317 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,851 Oh, and a wonderful head for business, 318 00:15:18,852 --> 00:15:21,186 though I must say, she has rather changed 319 00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,622 the tone of our various publications. 320 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,725 But the cash does roll in. 321 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:29,461 Who's for a gallop? 322 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,896 We're coming. 323 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,198 Jack! 324 00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:34,633 Let her go! 325 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:35,801 Oh! 326 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,311 Did you sleep well last night? 327 00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,047 Yes, eventually. 328 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,648 Jelks told me 329 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,784 he thought he heard an intruder. 330 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,952 False alarm. 331 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,288 Quite. 332 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,856 Jelks is very loyal. 333 00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,292 [Indistinct shouting] 334 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,860 You are insatiable! 335 00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,896 Saddle the horse, and away! 336 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:12,838 Oh, I love this place-- every inch of it. 337 00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,673 [Laughter and indistinct chatter] 338 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:21,347 Oh, look. This is Basil's new masterpiece. 339 00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:23,349 Isn't it ghastly? 340 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,850 [Laughing] 341 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,185 Watch the dicky-bird. 342 00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,254 Take one like this. 343 00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,090 Oh, that's very good. 344 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:34,893 Tallyho! 345 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:37,129 Shall we go down? 346 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,865 It--it's very pleasant here. 347 00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:43,202 [Laughter] 348 00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:46,939 Oh, yes, brilliant-- 349 00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:49,174 just like those things at the seaside! 350 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,577 How is it? 351 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:55,414 Oh, it's bloody marvelous. 352 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,016 Oh, idiot. 353 00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,384 Got you. 354 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:02,321 How now, my proud beauty? 355 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:06,091 Mmm. Oh! 356 00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:10,295 Natalia finds everything so amusing. 357 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:13,732 Jack, I'm stuck. 358 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,334 You can't be. 359 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:16,969 I am. 360 00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:18,470 Oh, rubbish. What goes in must come-- 361 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,507 Jack, do something. 362 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:22,975 Oh, flatten your ears back. 363 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:26,211 I am not a horse, dammit. 364 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,280 Oh, dear. 365 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,517 Ow! Ow! Aah! 366 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,852 [Loud grunting] 367 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,621 What is it? 368 00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:37,256 Natalia's stuck. 369 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,224 Well, get something quickly-- 370 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:42,861 butter, lard, anything! 371 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:47,199 I got my fist stuck in a jar of boiled sweets once. 372 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,534 Couldn't get it out. 373 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,536 Finally, I broke the jar with a hammer 374 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:51,870 and told my mother 375 00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,640 it fell off the shelf by mistake. 376 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,776 I suppose we ought to help, really. 377 00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:58,944 Stop it! 378 00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,979 I suppose so, yes. 379 00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,314 Quite. 380 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,783 Cigarette? 381 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,086 Virginia this side, Turkish that. 382 00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,287 I don't. Thank you. 383 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:11,156 I do. 384 00:18:11,157 --> 00:18:14,059 I think a Turkish. 385 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,628 [Grunting] 386 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,330 What are you doing? 387 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,265 Better take the jacket off. 388 00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,472 All right. 389 00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,977 Yes! Yes! Come on, girl! 390 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:35,280 No! Oh, Jack! I can't! 391 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,349 I can't! Ow! 392 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,454 [Sighs] 393 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,256 What a stupid thing. 394 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,225 It's not funny. 395 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:48,027 No. 396 00:18:48,028 --> 00:18:50,796 Well, we'll just have to wait for Carmen. 397 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,967 Oh, God. Now look who's here. 398 00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:58,971 Basil, get me out of here! 399 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,740 What's the matter, dear? 400 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,809 Isn't it obvious? 401 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,210 Stuck her head through the blasted hole. 402 00:19:05,211 --> 00:19:07,479 Can't get it out. 403 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,048 How odd. 404 00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:11,784 Just for a lark, you know. 405 00:19:11,785 --> 00:19:12,951 Quite. 406 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,020 A bit of fun, as it were? 407 00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:17,523 NATALIA: Basil, don't be such a damn fool! 408 00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:19,258 Well, it's very obvious 409 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,260 we'll just have to break up this, um... 410 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,494 lump of wood. 411 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,063 Surely not. 412 00:19:24,064 --> 00:19:26,532 No. Petroleum jelly should do the trick. 413 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:29,702 Ah. You thought of it already. 414 00:19:31,071 --> 00:19:33,372 Allow me. Good. 415 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:36,208 Oh, you're not going to smother me in that muck. 416 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:37,376 Basil! 417 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,544 Keep still, dear. 418 00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:41,547 Oh, no! Oh! 419 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:46,552 Oh, Basil! Oh, it's revolting! 420 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:47,786 Can't hurt, dear. 421 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:49,888 If anything, it's rather soothing. 422 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:52,424 NATALIA: Oh! Ugh! 423 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,727 [Crying] 424 00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:57,329 That's right. On the ears. 425 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,531 Plenty on the ears. 426 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,468 Oh, how dare you! 427 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:05,270 Oh, this is so humiliating. 428 00:20:05,271 --> 00:20:08,407 Oh, Basil, look at you. 429 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:11,010 You're enjoying this, aren't you, 430 00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:14,613 you beastly little rabbit of a man! 431 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:17,049 I reckon my old foot would get her out. 432 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,218 Block and tackle. That's the answer. 433 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,719 Poor madam. 434 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,887 [Laughing] 435 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,055 Try now-- 436 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,591 a good, strong pull from the hips. 437 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,693 Ow! 438 00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:30,562 Oh, I must look ghastly! 439 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,032 Ow! 440 00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:34,733 It's no go. 441 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,902 We will straighten her out. 442 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,771 You take the left leg. 443 00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:40,739 You, too. Come on! 444 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,409 Now, you take the leg. 445 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,910 That's right, both of you. 446 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,412 That's right. Up. 447 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:51,383 Now, ready, steady, go! 448 00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:54,520 Oh! Put me down! 449 00:21:07,167 --> 00:21:09,368 Let me down! 450 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:12,838 You hit my husband for me! 451 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,107 I'm sure he's doing his best, Lady Turton. 452 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,275 Oh, traitor! 453 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:19,978 [Screaming] 454 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,281 No! 455 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,049 Perhaps we should call the fire brigade. 456 00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:26,752 Oh, and have them see me looking like this? 457 00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,654 Ah, Jelks. 458 00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:29,822 An unusual occurrence, sir. 459 00:21:29,823 --> 00:21:30,856 Quite. 460 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:32,291 I presume it is the ears 461 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,559 that are the main obstruction. 462 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,260 Could well be. 463 00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:38,831 They do tend to swell in moments of excitement. 464 00:21:38,832 --> 00:21:40,032 Jelks. 465 00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:41,100 Milady? 466 00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:44,503 Please do something constructive. 467 00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:48,407 We are considering ways and means, milady. 468 00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:50,843 JACK: Ah, I said so! 469 00:21:50,844 --> 00:21:52,578 Chop the damn thing up. 470 00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:54,646 Chop up a masterpiece? 471 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,382 No question, man. 472 00:21:57,784 --> 00:22:01,020 All right, Basil, come on. Get on with it. 473 00:22:01,021 --> 00:22:02,454 Her ladyship is right, sir. 474 00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:04,256 No time like the present, I always say. 475 00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:06,558 The saw or the axe, sir? 476 00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:22,374 [Natalia screaming] 30753

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.