All language subtitles for SILVER STREAK [1976] - Gene Wilder

- Yes, sir. Where to?
- It's the train to Chicago. The Silver Streak.

- Silver Streak. I'll take care of your bags, sir.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Thank you. Thanks

What are those conventioneers
doing up at the baggage car?

Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Now, ain't that somethin'?

I thought it was bad enough with the
hippies on board. Now we got their fathers.

Oh, we had to get Mary Lou.

- She's our date for the party.
- Come on, Conductor! Let's get this show on the track!

Oh, ho, ho.
I beg your pardon, sir.

Hello. Am I in the right place?

First class. Yes, sir.
Right this way.

Watch your step there.

- This is your room here, sir.
- Okay, thanks a lot.

- Thank you, sir. Have a pleasant trip.
- Bye-bye.

Sir, you think you're gonna be needin'
all these bags up here? If not, I can store
some of'em down at the other end.

- Sure, sure. All I need is this one and that one.
- Okay.

- You can take this. I'll keep the briefcase.
- I'll take that.

- Is this the bed?
- Yeah. I'll be makin' that up a little later on.

Okay, thanks.

- And this is...
- Your lavatory and sink, sir.

- Nice, big room.
- Very convenient.

- What's this partition?
- Oh, that turns the room into a double suite..

We used to have a lot of calls for 'em...
from the honeymooners.

I'm sorry.

I'm not doing it on purpose.
This latch seems to be stuck.

Everything's changed.
Did you say something?

No! No. I-I agree with everything you said.
All I wanna do is take it easy.

Good, good. Then just settle back
and enjoy the trip.

Because it ain't gonna be too exciting,
now, but we'll get you there on time.

- Okay. Have a nice rest.
- Thanks a lot.

- Bye-bye.
- Good evening.

Board!

So long, L.A.! Bye!

Do you like this perfume?

I mix it myself.

Lovely. Very nice.

That's something, huh?
Yes, sir.

We leave Los Angeles,

and we go right up there to Nevada...

into Colorado, across the Rockies...

up to Kansas City, Kansas.

Right in here's a town
called Ashland, Missouri.

Cross the big Mississippi.
Two and a half days, right up
there in Chicago, Illinois.

- That's some trip, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

- You from Chicago?
- No, Los Angeles.

I'm from Chicago.

My name is Bob Sweet.

A sweet man, but a mean baby.

- George Caldwell.
- Yeah?

Yeah, George,
what racket you in?

- Publishing.
- No kidding? Come on. Sit down here.
- Thanks.

You know, I'm in vitamins myself.

Mm-hmm. Here.
There's a sample for ya. Vitamin "E."

Now, that is great
for the old pecker.

Yeah, it really keeps
the pencil sharp, and I'm not kiddin'.

Have you had a chance yet
to check out the action?

No. Actually, this is the first time
I've ever taken a train.

- You're kidding me?
- No.

Come on

- Well, you're in for the ride of your life.
- Oh, yeah?

You just pick out a little chickie, my friend...
and it's hug and munch all the way to Chicago.

- Really?
- I do it all the time.

I tell my boss that I'm afraid of flying...
and I get this action twice a year.

It's a cathouse on wheels.

No... Hey, listen.
Come on.

It's something about the movement
of the train that does it.
All that motion makes a girl horny.

Well, I'll tell you, Bob. I'm not really
interested in a shipboard romance.

- I took the train to rest and get a lot
of reading done.
- Hold it, hold it.

Right there, George.
I believe I see my chickie for tonight.

Hi, there. Can I, uh,
buy you a drink?

- I have one. Thank you.
- Well, I'll just, uh, join you then, huh?

That's an old-fashioned, bartender.

- You go all the way?
- What?

I said, do you go all the way...
to Chicago?

Oh. Yes, I do.

- Well, then maybe we can do it together.
- Do what?

- Go to Chicago.
I mean, you know, we're gonna be, uh...

stuck on this train together,

and we can't jump off.

Do you feel that motion?

Are you hot?

What?

I said, are you hot?

Lady, I am always hot.

Maybe I can cool you down.

How's the latch? May I?

Yes. Please, sit down.

What a nice surprise.

I said, how's the latch?
We have connecting rooms.

The latch. Good.
It's good. It's fine. Thank you.

It's a little bit rusty, but nothing serious.
I'll get the porter to look at it.

There's no rush, is there?

Would you folks like a cocktail?

Uh, a martini on the rocks
with a twist.

- Two.
- Yes, sir.

- My name is George Caldwell.
- Hilly Burns.

That's short for Hildegard.
What's that pencil for?

Oh, you have to fill out
your own menu card.

"One macedoine of fruit,
beef Oriental, rice, carrots...

coffee, apple pie a la mode. "

You print very well.

Thanks.

I'll have the same thing.
You do it for me.

I can't even read my own writing.

I don't do shorthand,
and I can't type.

What do you do for a living?

I'm a secretary.

- Well, how do you keep your job?
- I give great phone.

I have a terrific personality.

- You going to Chicago?
- Yes.

I'm going to my sister's wedding.

How come you're taking the train?
You afraid of flying?

No, I'm not afraid of flying.

I, uh... I just want to be bored.

And you?

Oh, my new boss
likes the old-fashioned ways.

He's just written a book
on Rembrandt...

and he's gonna kick off his publicity
campaign with a lecture at the Art Institute.

Oh, yes? I'm in publishing.
What's his name?

Professor Arthur Schreiner.
Have you heard of him?

Most people haven't.

He's, um... He's been a recluse
working on this book for about 20 years.

- Where is he now?
- Oh, he's in bed...

with a glass of hot milk and molasses.
He's a health nut.

- What do you publish?
- Oh, mostly nonfiction.

Gardening, cook books,
how-to-do-it books.

Like sex manuals?

- I've edited a few.
- An authority, huh?

I know what goes where...
and why.

- That's very interesting. Are you married?
- Divorced.

How come?

My friends all told me that
my wife was too good for me...

and after a couple of years
I decided they were right.

Sounds sad.

You say that your boss is in art history.
Is that what you're interested in?

Not really.

just got this job because
I was available. I was willing to travel.

- Would you like some wine with this meal?
- Oh, what a question.

Um, we'll have a bottle
of the Mouton Cadet.

Very good, sir.

- You do that very well.
- I give great French.

- He'll never talk.
- We gotta find those papers.

Come on.
We'll look in his compartment.

So that was your introduction
to high society?

Look, he was very good to me.

He taught me everything
from the pill to Picasso.

- What was missing?
- A marriage license.

Is that what you want?

I did then.

Right now, I'd like some more
champagne.

- Uh-oh. Shall I get another bottle?
- Two.

This place seems to be closing down.

Why don't we take our glasses...

and go to our rooms?

We could even open
the connecting door.

We could even break down
the whole partition.

- I'll speak to the porter.
- I'll get the champagne.

You were right.
It's that motion.

I didn't understand it,
but you were right.

Good night.

- Rapist!
- No, no, no, no!

Pardonez-moi, por favor.

Excuse me.

Um, this won't take a minute.

Good.

Excellent. These are all right.

Sorry. Good evening.

Come in.

This is very nice.

- Would you like some champagne?
- Yes.

I can't get over the size of this room
without the partition.

They are small rooms by themselves.
They're perfect forjuggling.

- For what?
- For juggling.

When you practice, the balls would
always bounce off the walls.

Do you juggle a lot?

I know what goes where and why.

I like that song.

If I ever hear it again...
it'll be difficult not to think of you.

- You put that very nicely.
- Thanks.

To traveling by train.

Trains that pass in the night.

You like my new shoes?

- Yes, I do.
- Why don't you take them off?

You can put them in that little locker over there...
and the porter will have them shined for you
in the morning.

- Really?
- That's terrific.

- Is that the master's work?
- Mm-hmm.

He gave me this copy
for safe keeping.

Do you want to read it?

Slide over.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Very.

Do you really edit sex manuals?

I really, really do.

But I have a confession to make.

I'm much better
at books on gardening.

- Really?
- That's my specialty.

Well...

is there anything that
you might wanna pass on?

- You mean about gardening?
- Yes.

Some helpful hints
for the beginner.

Well...

One tip is...

always be nasty to nasturtiums.

- Is that so?
- They love that.

- They like it rough?
- The rougher, the better.

Great.

What else should I know?

I could teach you the secret
of how to treat azaleas.

Oh, tell me.
I'm all ears.

I can see that.

Well...

just treat them the same way
as you would a begonia.

- No kidding?
- That's gospel.

You mean what you're saying is what's
good for azaleas is good for begonias?

- You got it.
- George, this is fascinating.

I thought you'd be interested.

I'd like to delve deeper.

- Be my guest.
- Thank you.

What would happen if you treated
an azalea like a nasturtium?

Now, this is the really interesting part.

- What is it, George?
- Did you see it? Did you see that man?

- What man?
- There was a man
hanging outside this window.

- He was shot in the head.
- What?

Hilly, a dead man
fell off the roof.

I saw it. His coat was stuck.

Oh. I should do something.

I should report it.
Maybe they could stop the train.

George, I'm sure
you saw something.

You probably saw a kid's kite
or an old newspaper out...

Look! Like that. You see, George,
it could have been anything out there.

But his eyes were so clear.

I think they were clearer
than your head.

- You imagined this, George.
- I didn't. I know I didn't.

Then why don't you call the conductor
and tell him your story?

- I feel dizzy.
- You know what? Here.

Lie down here, George.

Whew! If this is what
the D.T. S are like...

I'm gonna give up
the bottle for life.

The mind plays funny tricks
on you all the time.

You know that, George.
Come on. Relax. It's okay. Relax

That sure is a pretty song.

Yes, it is.

You're very beautiful, Hilly.

I like you too, George.

Hilly, wake up.

Hi, George.

Hilly, the man that I saw outside
the window last night... this is him.

- That's my boss. That's Professor Schreiner.
- I know it. That's what I'm talking about.

- What time is it, George?
- It's just after 8:00.

8:00? Oh, no. Wake me up again
when it's after 10:00.

Hilly, this man
has been murdered.

- Well...

Why don't you go down the hall
and discuss it with him?

And then come back here
and discuss it with me.

He's just right past
the diner, room "C."

Hilly, I didn't imagine it.

Good night, George.
You're a wonderful gardener.

- Rapist.
- Oh!

Hey, George, you devil.
Come on. Join me for coffee.

All right. I'll be right back.
I just have to check on something.

What is that?

Yeah? What do you want?

I'd like to see
Professor Schreiner, please.

- Yeah? Who are you?
- My name is George Caldwell.

You a friend of the professor?

No, not exactly. I'm a friend of his secretary's.
We were a little worried about him.

Yeah? What are you worried about?

Can't I talk to the professor?

What are you doing in there?

I think you're sticking your nose in
where it don't belong.

You and that broad are gonna
get yourself in trouble.

In fact, she's already in trouble

- You're the one who's in trouble,
mister, not me.
- Reace!

Get rid of this bum.

What are you doing?
Who is that?

Hey! Listen, you big lummox,
let me go! What the hell are you doing?

Are you crazy?
What the hell's the matter with you?

All right, listen, buster, you're in trouble...
and I mean big trouble,

because I'm reporting you.

Oh, no, you can't be serious.
Wait a minute. All right. Enough's enough.

If you're willing to forget it...
I don't believe this! Are you kidding?

Goddamn it!

Son of a bitch!

This is terrific!

- If that's you, Pepe, you're in one heap of trouble.
- No, it's not Pepe.

- Where's Pepe?
- I don't know. My name is George...

Goddamn it, I knew it! He's gone off
again with that no accountin' Manuel.

- My name is George Caldwell.
- Those two get together, smoke a little weed.

Next thing you know, they're off
buzzing the turkeys in the pickup.

- Excuse me, dear.
- I should've fired him 30 years ago.

Excuse me.
Do you think I could use your telephone?

- Telephone?
- Yes.

- You ain't from around here, are you?
- No, I'm lost.

I'm not lost, but I was
thrown off of the Silver Streak.

Thrown off? That a fact?

Tell me, is there a woman in this?

- Well, there's a girl, but...
- I knew it.

No, no, no. It's nothing to do
with what you're thinking.

Actually, she's in a great deal of danger.
That's why I have to use your telephone...

so I can call the police and have those
people who threw me off the train arrested.

- Well, it sounds like you're in an awful hurry.
- I am. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

That suits me just fine...
'cause I'm running a little bit late myself.

- Tell you what, Steve.
- George. George Caldwell.

- Rita Babtree.
- How do you do?

If you'll finish milking old Harriet over there...
I'll go in and change and you can ride into town with me.

- Oh, great!
- The sheriff's a good friend of mine.

Wonderful. Just tell me
what I have to do.

Well, you just take
this bucket and milk her.

Milk her?
I've never milked a cow before.

Cut the gas, Steve.
You're a grown man.

I'm sure you've had
some similar experience.

Look, you just sit down...

take a tit in each hand and
let nature take its course.

All right.

These cows are so full...

it's like tapping a trip valve
on Niagara Falls.

- I'll go in and change and meet you
outside in 10 minutes.
- All right.

I'll do my best.

Hello.

Let's see.

Just be nice.
Be nice.

Wait a minute.

Something's wrong.
You've got four of them.

Oop.! Come on, Harriet.
Come on. Give me a break.

Nice, fresh milk.
Here it comes.

Nothing's coming out though.
Here we go.

All right, now, I know I'm a slow
starter, but where's Niagara Falls?

Hey, Steve, whatcha doin'?

I was just looking at my schedule
for the Silver Streak.

No, I don't mean that. I mean...

why are you sittin' in that car?
We ain't goin' in that.

- We aren't?
- No!

Come on, Steve.
Follow me.

Put these packages
in the front seat...

and I'll get the wheel blocks.

I sure hope Pepe
filled it with enough gas.

We're not going in that, are we?

What's the matter?
You afraid of flyin'?

No, no.
I'm not afraid.

Great, 'cause it ain't no fun
soarin' with a turkey.

Look out for the windmill.
Look out for the windmill!

- You okay with those packages?
- Yeah, I guess so.

Well, it won't be long. We should be
in Stavely by 2:00.

2:00? That's two and a half hours from now.
Where's Stavely?

Sixty miles
the other side of Albuquerque.

- Wait a minute.
- What'd you say?

The Silver Streak
stops there at 2:27.

If we got there by 2:00 the sheriff
could meet the train when it arrives.

Yeah, I suppose so.

- This is fabulous!
- Ain't it the truth?

They talk of the joy of sex,
but it don't last like the fun of flyin'.

Look! There's the Silver Streak.!

- I think we're going to make it.
- Look at those sheep down there.

Don't they make a lovely sight?
I'm just itchin'to buzz 'em.

To do what?

- You never buzzed sheep?
- I don't think so.

Hold on, Steve!
We're going in!

Look at those little critters run.!

Come on.! Let's buzz 'em again.!
Whoo-hoo.!

Here we are.

- Hello, Rita.
- Hi, Burt. Is the sheriff in?

- He's over at Clancey's Dairy.
He'll be back in about...

Look!
There's the Silver Streak.!

- Thank you. Thank you, Rita.
- Don't you wanna go get the sheriff?

- No time! Thank you, dear. Good-bye.!
- So long, Steve.

This time, try to stay on!

Come on! Come on!

Jump up! Jump!

You got it!

All right!

Hey, welcome aboard.

- Don't you just love train travel?
- I love it.

- Loves it.

I asked you to join me for breakfast.
This is lunch.

Sorry. I lost track of time.

Well, what were you doin' back there?

Gettin' a little ass?

No, I was squeezing tits.

You are a sexy devil, aren't you?

Kind of worked up a sweat too,
didn't ya, you horny bastard?

Well, what do you expect?

I mean, she's a hot little number.

And he's very heavy competition.

You know him?

Doesn't everybody know him?
That's Roger Devereau.

He's Chicago's own jet-setter.

I mean, you know, he's a big cheese on
the Art Institute, something like that.

Like I say, very heavy competition.

Are you gonna take him on?

Are you all right?

What's the matter?

- Honey, what's the matter?
- What's the matter?

Who left who?

Last time I saw you, you were
gonna go visit the professor.

- Hilly, the professor is dead.
I'm sure of it.

Listen to me.

I went to his room
this morning, and he wasn't there.

Two dumb thugs
were looking through his things.

They pushed me out of his room
and threw me off the train.

-Threw you off?
-The point is they were searching for something.

I don't know what, but they've killed
the professor for it and now I'm
positive they're gonna go after you

We've gotta get off the train
and contact the police.

- No, George, you've got it all mixed up.
- I don't have it mixed up.

I'm just worried about you.

Hello, Roger.

This is my friend George Caldwell.
Roger Devereau.

- How do you do?
- George has just been telling me
how he'd been thrown off the train.

Oh, you're the one? I'm so pleased
to see you. Are you all right?

- Yes, I'm fine.
- Oh, that's good news.

As soon as I was told,
I contacted the police in Albuquerque...

and told them to spare no expense
to make sure you were safe.

Reace... he's like a child... got off
the train and tried to find you...

say he was sorry.

- How did you get back on?
- Who's Reace?

He's the one that threw you off.

You must remember him... a large man
with not very attractive dental work.

I do remember,
but what does he got to do with you?

He works for me.
He's my chauffeur.

Not very bright,
but extremely loyal.

And naturally, I assume total
responsibility for all his actions...

and will pay for any damages.

And what about that other fellow?

I met another man this morning.
Does he work for you too?

Oh, yes, of course.
You don't know the entire story, do you?

Early this morning, I was having
breakfast with Professor Schreiner...

and he wanted to show me some
important papers connected with his book.

But, unfortunately, they were missing

So we searched
his compartment twice...

and eventually we discovered them
in his trunk in the baggage room.

t was something of an upset,
but if you know the professor....

you'll know he's slightly
absent-minded.

Mr. Devereau, I'm very confused.

I don't understand how you could've
had breakfast with Professor Schreiner.

George thinks
the professor's been murdered.

- Murdered?
- That's right, last night.

That's extraordinary.
Why should you think that?

Because I saw him fall off the roof
of this train just outside this window.

- He was shot in the head.
- You were in this compartment?

I was lying right here.

Hilly, you'll have to go back to
my compartment, straighten it out.

That man Whiney doesn't know
what he's doing. Devereau.

Mr. Caldwell, allow me to introduce
Professor Schreiner.

Professor Schreiner, Mr. Caldwell.

- Hello.
- How do you do?

What did you do to your jacket?

Mr. Caldwell is the man that Reace
inadvertently threw off the train.

Oh, yes.

That stupid person.
I do hope you weren't hurt.

No, no.
I'm all right.

I suppose I'm to blame
for this morning's fracas.

After all, none of this would've happened
if I hadn't misplaced the Rembrandt letters.

The what?

It doesn't matter. I'm so glad that you're
all right and managed to get back on the train.

Oh, Professor? Professor,
I put back as much... I put back...

Hey, how'd you get here?

Mr. Caldwell, allow me to introduce
an associate of mine, Mr. Whiney.

If an apology is due, I'm sure
that he'd be prepared to make it.

It's a pity that Reace
is not here to do the same.

Reace, that moron.
It was all his fault.

I was looking for the papers.
I never touched you, did I?

- No, no.
- See?

It's been very hectic for me.
I think I'll have a scotch and lie down.

- Why don't you use my compartment?
- Thank you. I will.

Hilly...
will you help him with that mess?

Mr. Caldwell,
it's been nice meeting you.

I hope the rest of the trip for both
of us is a little less exhilarating.

Let's hope so.

Well, I think I've made a silly fool
of myself this morning.

- No, no, not at all.
- No, no, I did.

I was just sticking my nose into a lot
of stuff that's none of my business..

and coming up with some crazy ideas.
You were right.

I guess I was imagining
a lot of things last night.

Probably the champagne.

- Well
- Let me clean your jacket..

Oh, that's all right.
I have another one.

We get to Chicago tomorrow and
I did come on this trip to do some work.

So I'll say good-bye.

- Couldn't you possibly join us for dinner?
- Oh, yes, do.

Thanks. No.
I think I'll just eat in my room.

This latch...
seems to be stuck.

I'll get the porter
to fix it right away.

What are you up to there, lover boy?

Hello, Bob Sweet.

- Hello, Bobby.
- How are ya?

I'm all right.

Better yet, uh, what are you?
A miniature alcoholic?

Did you know that
the Blanard Tunnel...

was the highest point on this line?

Yeah, I knew that.

Did you know that when we reach it,
I intend to be higher?

- Just don't fall off, huh? Okay?
- Oh, no.

I've left this train once already.
That's enough.

You have? What do you mean?

Last night...

just as I was about to...

kiss my beautiful blonde...

I saw her boss
hanging outside the window.

Wait. You saw her boss,
Professor Schreiner, huh?

That's him.

That's the fellow.

He was shot in the head.

I knew that
I had been drinking...

so I went to see
the professor this morning...

and I found this
little weasel of a guy in his room.

- Edgar Whiney.
- That's him.

- How did you know that?
- Oh, I-I know. I just know.

Go on, go on.

Well, then this huge mountain...

with a gold mine stuck in his gums...

picked me up and
threw me off the train.

- What... But you never saw the professor, huh?
- No, I saw him.

- I saw him this afternoon.
- Where?

In Hilly's compartment.

See, the man I saw last night
was a hallucination.

- What did he look like?
- Who?

The professor, you know,
that you saw this afternoon.

Like his picture.

- Did he say anything to you?
- Why are you asking me all these questions?

- Did he say anything...
- Nothing, nothing.

He was tired
and wanted to have a scotch.

You don't have any ice in your drink.
- That's it! Scotch!

Listen. See, you didn't have
a hallucination.

The professor's been murdered.

The guy you saw this afternoon
was a fake.

Oh, no.

Yeah. Listen, I talked to the real
professor last night. I mean it.

He didn't wanna have anything
to do with Mr. Devereau.

Besides that, he's a health nut.
Doesn't touch alcohol.

Oh, Bobby, just because
you're a vitamin salesman?

My name is Stevens.
I'm a federal agent.

We've been working on this case
for two and a half years.

Well, what are you tailing
the professor for?

I am not tailing the professor,
I'm tailing Devereau.

Come on. Let's go.

Wait a minute. What about Hilly?

Don't worry about it. They're not
gonna kill her till we get to Chicago.

I don't even think they'll try
to kill you till then. Come on.

Devereau's men must've brought the
professor back here...

after 9:00 pm last night.

- How do you figure that?
- Because I left him at 9:00 pm.

And because this is the easiest access
to the roof. Somehow, he must've escaped.

He got out to this ladder, then ran back
down the train before they shot him.

You're not going up there, are you?

Yeah. The Blanard Tunnel is up ahead.

Come on up and
keep a lookout, will ya?

All right, I'll try.

What did you find?

It was hooked on
a protruding bolt.

Then I was right.
I did see him.

I'll bet Devereau has already got the body
picked up and placed in cold storage someplace.

Too bad.
He was a sweet old guy.

Buy why did he have
to kill the professor?

He was going to be embarrassed
by the findings in the professor's book.

Two of the institute's Rembrandts...

both bought and authenticated
by Devereau...

were going to be proved forgeries.

The professor had the proof
in his possession.

I asked him last night,
"What was the proof?"

He told me I was going
to have to wait for his lecture.

And Devereau wasn't going to wait.

I think the idea
was to kidnap the professor...

then kill him...

and then substitute
some phony look-alike...

who would botch the lecture
and discredit the book.

- We've gotta find the proof.
- But they have the proof.

They have it. That's what Whiney
and everyone was looking for this morning...

the Rembrandt letters.

They said that they found them
in the professor's trunk.

They're lying. That's the first place
they would've looked...

before they started turning
his room upside down.

No! No, the professor hid them
someplace, somewhere simple...

as a precaution when he found out
Devereau was on the train.

My God! I know where they are!
Come on! Come on!

The Rembrandt letters.

Holy Toledo!
I think you've found it.

This is the genuine article,
penned by the old boy himself, huh?

"Rembrandt Harmenszoon Van Rijn. "

Yeah. My guess is there's a fact there's
some kind of a date in all this...

that proves the charges the professor
makes in his book.

Push the button for the porter, will ya?
I wanna get the conductor to radio ahead
to the next town.

You know, it's difficult to believe
that a man was killed over those.

This is the tip of an iceberg.

You know that plane crash
in Cologne, Germany last year?

That was a Devereau special.
A hundred people got killed in that one.

It was just to cover up his involvement
in the Metropolitan Gallery scandal.

We knew he was responsible.
We couldn't pin it on him.

These letters are gonna blow his
multimillion-dollar operation in art sky-high.

That's why she was so distant.
They must've had her in a corner.

I want you to remember
that your neck is on the line too.

You already told him you saw
the real professor shot.

Yeah, I did.
So what do I do now?

You be responsible for Hilly.
Get her off the train and to safety.

- I'm gonna take care of Mr. Devereau.
- Here comes the tunnel.

We'll make our move when the
train gets to Dodge City tonight.

That's appropriate, huh?
Gun smoke at the O.K. Corral.

What happened?

Bob, what happened?

Put-Put 'em back.

Go on, now. Do it.
Get my gun. Take my gun.

Take my gun. Go on.
Get the girl off the train, okay?

Go on.!

You know, I got a funny feeling
this bullet was meant for you.

Shoot.! That man's dead.!

- Holy moly, you shot him!
- I didn't... No.

- No! Wait a minute!
- He's been shot!

A man's been shot!

I didn't shoot him!

Hey. Hey, you're not...

Hey! He's not dead!

Hold it!
Don't move, or I'll shoot!

Son of a bitch!

Wait! Wait!

Wait!

Wait! Hello!

Hello! Hello, please!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Wait a...
Come on, please! Stop!

Thanks a lot, Eddie.

That's it, boys.!

Blow those babies'heads off!

Excuse me.

Just a minute.

Geez, would you look at that!

That boy is somethin', ain't he?

Commercial.

- Now, what can I do for you?
- I want to report a murder.

A murder. A man's been shot
on the Silver Streak...

and there's a girl who's in great danger.
We have to stop the train.

Now, wait a second.
You say a man's been shot?

- Yes.
- Jumpin'Jiminy!

We've never had a murder before.

Sit down.
Have a cup of coffee. Help yourself.

Now, uh, let's get the facts.

- What did you say your name was?
- Caldwell. George Caldwell.

I'm from Los Angeles.

L.A. Okay.
Who was shot?

- Actually, there were two.
- Two?

Yes. The first was Bob Sweet.

He was a federal undercover agent.

- A fed? No shit?
- Yes.

And the second was a man
by the name of Reace. I shot him.

- You shot him?
- Yes. He shot Sweet.

- Because Sweet was a fed?
- No, because he thought Sweet was me.

- Reace shot Sweet, and you shot Reace?
- Right.

- With a spear gun.
- W-With a what?

You see, I took Sweet's gun,
but I dropped it...

so I had to use a spear gun.

Uh, don't you...
can't we call someone?

Wait a second.
You say you shot Reace with a spear?

Yes. He was going to shoot me.
- With a spear?

No, with a bullet!
He shot the professor.

- Who shot the professor?
- Reace.

- Reace shot Sweet!
- And the professor.

Makes three.

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.
The professor was shot last night.

- Uh, can't wejust do all of this later?
- Was there anyone else?

- Anyone else what?
- Shot!

No. No, but there will be soon
if we don't stop the train.

Please, just pick up the phone
and call your superiors.

Tell them I have
the Rembrandt letters.

- That's why the professor was shot.
- Was he with the feds?

- Who?
- This guy Rembrandt.

- Rembrandt is dead.
- Dead? That makes four.

Listen, feller, you sure you're not
makin'this up as you go along?

I'm an officer of the law and I got better
things to do than listen to that funnin'.

That's my hot line.

Now, you take the time to get your facts straight.
When I come back,

I want your answers clear and to the point.
Got that?

And you can start
with who shot Rembrandt.

Hello. Yeah.

This is Chauncey.

No shit!

Jumpin'Jiminy! He's sittin'
right here in my office.

That's right.

Came in here spoutin'some bull about shootin'
some people on the train, wanted to confess.

I knew he was a loony right off.

Oh, yeah. Don't you worry.

I've handled loonies before.
Gotcha.

Sheriff, I'm sorry.
I guess I was a little rattled before.

- It must've sounded crazy to you.
- Oh, that's perfectly all right, Mr. Caldwell.

That is what you said your name was,
didn't you? George Caldwell?

Yeah.

I really think that we oughta
get on the phone to Washington.

If they heard what I have to say,
they would stop the train.

Oh, yeah. Them boys in Washington,
they're pretty smart.

You ever watch 'em on TV? Bam, bam.

Sheriff, listen to me! They know
all about Sweet and Devereau.

I figured that the Silver Streak
should be in Kansas in an hour.

We could stop the train
at Scott City or maybe Dodge.

All right, mister! Keep your hands where
they are, and we'll have no trouble!

- Give me that!
- Don't shoot.

"Don't shoot"?

You stupid, ignorant,
son-of-a-bitch, dumb bastard!

Jesus Christ! I've met some dumb bastards
in my time, but you outdo them all!

Get over there! What the hell
do you think I'm doing?

I come here to help a girl
who may be killed at any minute...

and you're playing cops and robbers!

There ain't no way
you're gonna get away with this!

Get a... Pick up the phone!

Pick it up!

- We know who you are.
- What are you talking about?

That was the county sheriff.
They're comin' to get you. You ain't got a chance.

- Get me for what?
- For killin' a vitamin salesman on the Silver Streak.

He was no vitamin salesman. He was
a federal agent. They should know that.

If you'll just put down
that gun and come along quietly.

You're outnumbered.
Ain't no way you're gonna escape.

What is that?

That's my deputy.

- Get outside.
- All right.

- Get outside!
- Don't shoot.

- Don't shoot.

- Don't shoot.
- Keep your hands down. Keep your hands down.

- Uncle Oliver, look what I got!

- Keep your hands down.
- Uncle Oliver, he's got your gun.

Get your hands up! Get against
the wall. Keep your hands up.

- The whole county knows about you!
- Get back!

- Keep those hands up.
- They ain't gonna rest till they hunt you down.!

Keep your hands up. Keep 'em up.

Uncle Oliver, he's takin' your car!

You ain't ever gonna get away with this!

- Uncle Oliver! Uncle Oliver, he's got your car.
- Moose!

One more word outta you,
I'm gonna smash your mouth!

J.J.! J.J.!

I got... I got bad news for ya.

Caldwell's escaped.

Yeah, look, let's not go into that now.

He's headed down 350...

and we can stop him
before he crosses the state line.

Right.

Dumb, stupid bastard.

Shit!

- Who are you?
- I'm a thief, man.

Take it easy. I ain't
gonna freak you out no more.

How about handin' me them keys.
I'd like to get these cuffs off.

Sorry.

That's real nice the way you handled
yourself back there with old Oliver. I was listenin'

- What they want you for anyway, man?
- Murder.

Drop me off anywhere along in here, okay?
I don't mess with the big "M."

I'm not stopping anywhere.
Do you know the roads around here?

Maybe we could make a deal. I'm not
a murderer. I'm trying to prevent one.

But in about a minute, we're
gonna be surrounded by cops.

If you can get us out of it,
you'd be doing both of us a favor.

What do you think?

I think you better make a right
up here and then a sharp left.

I'm comin' over.

Jesus Christ, man! That's how you murdered your
victims? Put 'em in a car and bounced 'em to death?

- Sorry.
- Sorry, my ass!

You're dangerous.

Proves one thing, though.
You don't do this for no livin'..

- No, I don't.
- All right. Just take it easy.

I'm gonna take over in a minute..

Don't make no more
sudden moves, okay?

I'm gonna check with headquarters
and find out the game plan for tonight.

He said he was gonna
get back on that train.

He has to cross into Kansas
on 120 or...

on 116 or 350.

Now, I figure if we put stakeouts on
all of those roads, we'll get that feller.

The first should be at the junction
of Taubman's Road, on 116.

- What are you slowing down for?
- There's a truck up ahead.

So there's a truck up ahead.

We the man.!
Let's turn on the siren...

get them hippies off the road!
Put some foot into it.! Move it.!

Oh, God!

Would you like to drive for a while?

Car 36 report your position.
Do you read me?

Car 36. Chauncey,...

we're moving in for the roadblock
at the intersection of Taubman's Road and 116.

That's fine, fellas.
Car 45 is already there.

We're going in
for a double block on all points.

The old double roadblock, huh?

That's all I wanted to know, Oliver.
Fasten yourself in, partner.

You ain't got nothin' to worry about.
I got the nerve and I got the touch.

Better pull it tighter. Real tight.
I used to do this all the time back home in Texas.

- Do what?
- Demolition derby.

I hear somethin' comin',
but I can't see anything yet.

That's fine, boys.
We got 'em boxed in now.

- Aren't you gonna slow down?
- Slow down?

Open your eyes, man, 'cause
I'm gonna make a criminal out of you yet.

Goddamn it!
Fellas, watch out!

Hello, car 36!
What the hell happened to you guys?

Hey, Chauncey! This is Grover T. Muldoon!
You wanna know what happened?

We just whooped your ass!
We whooped your ass!

"I don't know. I met him last night."
I've never seen him before.

That's what you told us this morning,
and I'm finding it...

increasingly hard to believe.

- Well, it's the truth.
- Is it?

No matter, when the time comes,
we'll take care of Mr. Caldwell.

Meanwhile, we're going to take...

extremely good care of you.

- What are you doing?
- I'm following the plan. Just changed my mind.

Are you crazy? I thought
we were gonna take the Chevy in back.

Chevy? That's a jerk-off, man!
This here is pure pussy.

Pure pussy?
I'll tell that to the judge.

Don't worry about no judge. This here's
gonna get us to Kansas City on time.

Well, how about jail? Did you know
the office was right in front of us?

Go check the guard, okay?
This ain't gonna take but a second.

Hold it right there, nigger.

Hey! How you doin', old dude?
What's happenin'?

Step away from the car.

was listenin' to the engine. Sounds real good, man.
- Does it come with whitewalls?

Just move.

Okay, I'm gonna move now.
You just take it easy.

I said move!

A pussy, huh?
A pussy!

Can we go now?

I thought you was an amateur.

You're a real pro.

A real pro.

Man, that was beautiful.
Ain't nobody gonna mess with you.

- Oh, yeah.
- I mean it. You're a pretty bad old dude.

All I wanna do is get to Kansas City
by the morning.

Don't worry about that. With this honey,
we're gonna be in Kansas City.

You just get some sleep,
'cause we're on our way to Kansas City!

You thinking about her?

Yeah.

Crazy thing is I just met her
two nights ago.

That's the way love is.

I always lose my memory
when I fall in love.

Like you said, you know,
we just get on the train, get her off...

tell the police,
let them handle the rest of that stuff.

Yeah.
Yeah, but what?

I only hope she's still alive.

Arriving passenger Hall...

please report to the information desk
in the north concourse.

Great! We've got 10 minutes!
I'll get the tickets. Just wait right here!

- You go get the tickets, and it's good-bye, George.
- What are you talking about? That!

That's my driver's license picture.
I hate that picture.

Yeah? Why don't you just shuffle
right over there and tell them about it.

- Are they the police?
- No, they're from Travelers Aid.

- How are we gonna get on the train?
- That's a good question.

- I've still got the gun. I could start a diversion.
- Yeah, blow your brains out.

Wait. I got an idea.

You come with me

- How much you want for that radio?
- Thirty dollars.

- We'll take it. Pay the man.
- What? Pay the man.

- That's a bad hat you got on. I'll give you five dollars for it.
- It's yours.

- Thank you. Pay the man.
- What? Pay the man!

And another five
for the shoe polish.

- What do we want with shoe polish?
- Don't argue. Pay the man.

- One, two, three, four. Forty dollars.
- Thank you very much.

- Thank you.
- See anything else you want, just make me an offer.

- No, thank you.
- Uh, how about a brush?

- Nothing!

Can't win 'em all.

That is the stupidest idea
I have ever heard.

You wanna save that girl's life?

Then it's this or we're dead.
Now take off your jacket.

Come on!

- I can't pass for black!
- Who're you tellin'?

I didn't say I was gonna make you black.,
I said I was gonna get you on the train.

We got to make them cops
think you're black.

- It'll never work. Never.
- What, are you afraid it won't come off?

That's a good joke.
That's humorous.

Like that, huh?
May I speak?

This is crazy! It'll never work!
Don't you understand?

Are you kiddin'? Look at that.

AI Jolson made a million bucks
lookin' like that.

Now here, you try.

Don't worry about your eyes,
'cause you're gonna be wearin' these.

There you go.

That looks good.
Get on top of your head.

Put on my jacket.

Then we'll slap this beanie
on your head. There you go.

All right, ace or deuce?

That's bad, man! You're lookin' good!
Now here, take this radio.

When you step
out of here, step out like King Shit.

You bad!

Put that radio to your ear.
That's gonna help cover your face.

Just move with the rhythm of the music.

Move your body with the rhythm of the music.
That's all you gotta remember, okay?
Let me see you try it.

Step to the music.
Step to the music. Yeah.

Step to the music... Stop.

How come you whiteys got such a tight ass, man?
How are you gonna walk outta here
with a tan face and that white walk?

Just get into the music.
Come on, George. Loosen up.

Listen to the beat.
Let your feet move.

Now, do it! Can't you feel it?
The tempo's right here.

Right in there. That's all you gotta do.

Yeah, now try it!
Don't you feel it?

Yeah. Needs work, George.
Needs a lot of work. You know that?

Will you practice? Man, you gotta practice,
but let it be loose! Listen to the music.
Follow the beat. Hear?

- Feel it comin' up? Feel it?
- I got it.

It's comin'?
Yeah, that's it.

I'm gonna get the tickets. Okay? I'll be back.
Work on it.

God, honkies!

Come on, man, get some jive goin'.
Be cool.

Shake it, but don't break it. That's it.

Hey, man, how do I look?

You look sharp, mister.
I feel sharp!

You hear? I feel like
the sun around midnight.

You dig? Outta sight!
Get down! Get down!

Feelin' good! Feelin' fine!
Feelin' real fine!

That's it. Just loosen up
those hips, sugar.

All you whiteys got a tight ass.
Yeah, get that ass movin'.

Outta sight! I'm a macaroni!
Get down! I'm the king!

Number one, baby.!

- Um, um, I'm not....
- Hey, you must be in pretty big trouble, fella.

But for God's sake, learn to keep time.

Shit, that's my man!
That's my man!

- I don't think we'll make it past the cops.
- We'll make it past the cops.

I just hope we don't see no Muslims.

- Who you lookin' for?
- White guy.

Well, if I see any,
I'll let you know.

Your attention, please.

The AMRoad train,
the Silver Streak...

departing for Chicago is now loading
on track three.

- This the Chicago train?
- First class. Yes, sir.

There will be no visitors
permitted beyond the gates.

Board!

- She's gone.
- Sure that's her compartment?

Yes, of course.
Hey, wait a minute.

Where are my clothes?
All my clothes are gone

- You sure this is your compartment?
- Of course I'm sure.

The police must have taken everything
when they found Sweet's body.

We've gotta see if Hilly's
still on the train.

How are we gonna do that and
you can't leave this compartment?

Go down to the phony professor's room.
It's four cars back, room "C."

Ask him what happened
to his secretary.

Give me the gun.

Now give me your wallet.

- What the...
- I gotta get a disguise... a porter's uniform.

You know, these disguises
are getting expensive.

Crime costs.
Where's it at?

Four cars back, room "C."
Stay out of trouble.

- Hilly, are you all right?
- George, watch it.! Don't come in here.

Are you all right?

That's what I was gonna ask you.
I'm sorry about your head.

I never would have gone back to the
compartment if I thought that you were gonna...

- The Rembrandt letters.
- Devereau's got them.

He found them in your jacket.

- I guess I blew it.
- Poor George.

I tried not to get you involved,...

but they came to me yesterday and they told me
that they'd killed the professor...

and that unless I cooperated,
they'd kill me too.

I thought that...

I'd go along with them
and that then you'd get away.

I was really happy when you did,
but I was afraid I'd never see you again.

George, I was so frightened.

So was I.

I was scared you wouldn't be here.

I missed you, Hilly.

You did?

I missed you too.

You've got shoe polish
behind your ear.

I'll explain that to you later.

- Where are we?
- Just passing the Illinois River Canal.

Well, how are you?
I hope I didn't slug you too hard.

- Where's Devereau?
- Isn't that perfect?

You want to see him,
and he wants to see you.

Ladies first, hmm?

Come in.

Uh, please sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.

Miss Burns, how are you?

Bring us some fresh coffee, toast
and marmalade for our guests, would you?

- Yes, sir.
- Right away.

I'vejust been looking over
this correspondence you brought me...

And...

uh, it's fascinating.

The professor was right.
It's a remarkable find.

I'm almost tempted
to destroy it...

but then on the other hand, I've always
had a soft spot for things of beauty.

Particularly when they were genuine.

Whiney, would you put these
in my safe, please?

I don't think they propose...

any further threat. Do you?

I hope you're not too disappointed
if this doesn't work.

Oh, but on the contrary,
I think it will.

This has been a very difficult project,
and I have made an error or two.

One of them was bringing that man
Reace out here. What happened to him?

I shot him.

Good for you.
He probably deserved it.

You did have him kill
the professor, didn't you?

Oh, no. Oh, no.
On the contrary.

He did that on his own.
An unfortunate mistake.

I knew we couldn't kill the professor
until we had the Rembrandt letters.

So I had to set up a scenario whereby
the, uh, professor was kidnapped...

and an imposter impersonated him
in order to discredit him.

We would have killed him anyway, but
his escape attempt the other night...

upset the entire scheme.

Come in.

Excuse me, sir.
It's all confirmed.

- The car will be waiting at Rockdale.
- Good.

Oh, Mr. Caldwell,
you do rememberJohnson?

He played the part
of the professor...

and would have done the same thing
at Chicago, had it been necessary.

How long before
we arrive at Rockdale?

- About an hour and a half, sir.
- Thank you, Johnson.

Now all that remains
is to clear up a couple of points.

Meaning the two of you.

So I've arranged a new scenario...

wherein you are responsible
for the murder of the professor.

- Why would I kill the professor?
- To get the Rembrandt letters.

He found out and you had to shoot him
because he tried to blackmail you.

Which brings us
more or less up to date...

Except that
in about 45 minutes from now...

the professor's trusty secretary
is going to quarrel...

with her partner/lover...

and shoot him. And he dies...

but not before shooting her.

Ah, enough of this talk
of plots and scenarios.

Uh, join me in a cup
of coffee, would you?

Coffee, mister?

- Thanks.
- The professor's book
is still gonna be published.

Oh, yes, indeed, my dear.
But without the letters...

I'm afraid it will be regarded
as the jottings of a revisionist crank.

An ex-crank,
as a matter of fact.

The Silver Streak does have its drawbacks,
but please try the marmalade.

- They do provide an excellent cuisine.
- Oh, thank you, sir.

I'll tell the boys in the kitchen.
We aims to please.

- Coffee, miss?
- No, thanks.

- He ain't bullshittin' about the cuisine.
- Steward?

- Is that your lady, man? She's somethin' else.
- Steward!

- Stand up, mama. Let me get a look at you.
- Steward!

- Mm, mm, mm! Have mercy!
- Steward, you may go. Thank you very much.

- Just a little more coffee?
- No, thank you.

Half a cup?
Oh, sorry, sir.

- Look what I've done.
- You... Get out of...

- See what I've done...
- You ignorant nigger!

Who you callin' nigger, huh?

You don't know me well enough
to call me no nigger!

I'll slap the taste out your mouth!
You don't even know my name!

I'll whoop your ass! Beat the white
of your ass.

- Who are you?
- I'm a thief.

It's all right, Hilly.
He's a friend of mine.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- So this is Mr. Big.
- That's the man.

You ain't sayin' shit now, Mr. Big.

I must admit that I'm slightly
at a loss for words.

But on the other hand,
I should warn you...

that you are a killer...

and you are wanted by the police
in every state...

and I recommend that
you, uh, be careful.

You're the killer who's wanted
by the police in every state.

That man you had shot wasn't a vitamin
salesman. He was a federal agent.

They've been after you
for two years.

Ever since that plane crash
in Cologne, Germany...

when you caused a hundred people
to die, just to cover up your link...

with the scandal
at the Metropolitan Gallery.

So why don't we get them
the proof that they wanted?

Let's go and get
the Rembrandt letters.

Get up.

If you insist.

- Get up, Whiney!
- Just do what he says.

Get the letters, Hilly.

Mr. Caldwell...

I take it that you are
a reasonable man and that,...

like all men, you place
a reasonable value on your life.

Are you trying to bribe me?

No. I'm merely pointing out
that life is short...

and the smart man
hedges his bets.

You can't protect bets.

If there's one thing
I have learned from this trip...

it's that you play the game
and take what you get.

- I found them!
- Come here, Hilly.

Get the girl.!

What do you think this is?
A western?

- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to save our asses!

- I'm not jumping!
- There's a bridge coming up. Get ready!

Goddamn it, I'm not jumping!
I left this train twice already!

- Get ready.!
- I'm not jumping!

Here it comes! Go!

Son of a bitch!

Shit!

Not again!

What are we gonna do now?

All right.!
Hold it right there.!

Shit.

I just talked to Chaney. He'll have
the helicopter ready in Rockdale.

Just about five minutes from the station.

We'll be there in 46 minutes.

Is there any way of stopping
this train between here and there?

Aside from the engine, there's
an emergency brake in each car.

- Disconnect them.
- Okay. All of them?

Yes, all of them.
And take her with you.

Come on.

They're yours.

- You George Caldwell?
- Will you please...

Would you just tell me...
Goddamn it!

Would you please tell me what the hell
we're doing here and what you want from me!

- You are George Caldwell?
- Yes, I'm George Caldwell.

- I want some information from you, and fast.
- I did not kill Sweet.

We know that. And if you weren't
so dumb,...

you would've realized that we planted
that news story for your own protection.

I've had men posted in every town
since Dodge City trying to pick you up...

while you're gallivanting around
the countryside wasting time.

- I didn't know they were federal agents!
- Well, let's see what you do know.

Here.

- How many men has Devereau got on the train?
- Two.

- What's his plan after they get to Chicago?
- He's not going to Chicago.

He's getting off at Rockdale.

I was afraid of that.
Okay.

Matthews, over here!

We're gonna stop the train
before Rockdale.

Closest is...
the Harris Mill Junction.

Contact the railroad. Tell them to make
out like it's a routine emergency inspection.

Have Bronsky bring his men
up in choppers from the south..

Get all the passengers off the train,
and I don't want any slip-ups.

We'll be there as soon as we can.
Caldwell, you come with us.

Steward, what do you want to do?

This has been a nerve-shattering
experience. I'd like to go home.

Take him anywhere he wants.

Okay, men, grab your rifles.
Let's move it.!

Caldwell, your shells.

Let's go.!

- What does he think I'm gonna do with this?
- Blow the tires out on the train.

Thanks for everything.

My pleasure.

Goddamn it.!
Caldwell, get out here.!

If there's ever anything
that you need...

don't call me.

Don't let 'em get you killed.

Take it easy, killer.
Stay loose.

Where'd you like to go, fella?

Well..

I left myJag in Kansas City.

I don't know, Frank,
but that's what they said.

Everybody off
at the Harris Mill Junction.

Everybody off?
Okay, I'll tell my crew.

- Why are they stoppin' the train?
-I don't know, sir. Tryin' to get some security check here.

That's the damnedest thing
I ever heard!

- They want us to get off the train?
- Yeah.

- Hey, there's the police!
- Watch your step. Watch your step.

- Well, I'll be...
- Come on, get back!

You guys are just totally uncontrollable.
You know that?

- The police are here.
- What?

The porters are askin' everyone
to get off the train.

Are they?

Keep moving towards the clearing, please.

This is a routine investigation.
None of you is in danger.

Please cooperate with us so we can
complete our investigation quickly...

and get you back aboard
and on your way.

Please keep moving...

Excuse me.

Yeah, excuse me.

- Everybody off, please, Mr. Devereau.
- Yes. What's happening here, Conductor?

We're not sure. We got a call from
the police wanting everyone evacuated.

- Maybe it's a bomb scare.
- A bomb scare?

- Then we'd better get off.
- I certainly am.

Stay with her.

Cover us from the window. We're gonna
start the engine and take this thing to Rockdale.

Hey, what are you doin'? Everybody's gone.
What are you doin' with those rifles?

You bastards!

Everyone's off, Chief,
except our boy.

Hold it right there, Devereau!

- Shit!
- Take it easy, killer.

What are you doing here?

What's going on?
Who's in charge here?

Would you get down!

What did you come back here for?

- Uh... I forgot your wallet.
- Oh, some thief you are.

- Is that your old lady Hilly?
- Yeah.

Okay, follow me.

- Start the engine.
- We can't do that.

You, move, start it.

Mr. Devereau.
Mr. Devereau!

Guido, come with me!

Keep your foot on the pedal.

- Come on!
- Where are we going?

We're getting off at the next stop.

- What are you doing?
- This is combat.

Watch out for the engineer.

Sit!

- Are you all right?
- Yes.

How about Grover?

Are you all right?

- Is it over?
- Shit.!

Look out!

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm all right.

Just give me one more pass.

Just give me one clear shot.

- What happened?
- Don't look. Don't look!

All right, get theJunction
on the radio.

Tell them they've got
a runaway train.

Hey, we're comin'
into the station.

George, why didn't we stop?
What's going on here?

I'm not sure, but I don't think
that there's anyone in the engine.

- No driver?
- That's right.

Oh, God!

Whiney cut
all the emergency cords.

What are we gonna do?

- Well, we have to find some way to get to the engine.
- How?

The roof?

I think so.
Come on!

- How's it going?
- They don't believe us.

Look, the engineer is probably anxious
to bring the train in on schedule.

This is Chief Donaldson.
Who's this?

This is Jerry Jarvis.
I'm the assistant controller.

Assistant? Get me your boss.

Uh, he's out to lunch, but I'm sure
I can handle any problem you might have.

It's not my problem. You've got a dead
engineer and a runaway train...

- that's gonna hit Chicago in 15 minutes.
- What are you gonna do about it?

All right, I'll check
with the signal towers.

But, uh, you see,
it's impossible.

If the engineer is dead,
who's driving the train?

- What's happening?
- Hey, you all right?

- Listen, is there any way...
- Holy moley! The killer!

- No, he's okay.
- Listen to me.

Is there any way to get to the engine
without going over the roof?

There ain't no way to get to the engine,
period!

- Why are we goin' so fast?
- Because there's no one driving this train.

- Impossible. It would stop.
- Does this look as if we're stopping?

No, the hell it don't.!
I better go pull the emergency cord.

The emergency cords
have been cut.

Damn hippies!

I received a report from the signal towers.
They see no engineer in the cabin.

Great. Now you've got the facts.

Throw one of those switches
and have the train run off.

That's the problem.
All the tracks are computer programmed.

Switching the Silver Streak would only
cause a collision with another train.

Then what the hell are you gonna do?
There are people riding on that train.

Oh, no.

You see, the standard procedure...

in such an emergency
would be to derail the train.

Derail it?
In the middle of the yard?

Yes. Actually,
I can't take that responsibility.
Uh, I'd better get my boss.

You better do something,
you idiot, because in 10 minutes...

you're gonna have
200 tons of locomotive

smashing through Central Station
on its way to Marshall Fields!

- Where are we going?
- If you wanna stop this train, you got to follow me!

Hey, Jack,
have you seen Benny?

Uh, yeah, yeah. I saw him
in the coffee shop, Jerry.

Now what we have to do
is uncouple the cars.

You gotta pull up that bar,
turn it to the left.

When they pull apart, they will
bust open the air pressure lines...

and the brakes will clamp on throughout
the train, then you can jump on back.

- But that's dangerous.!
- Impossible, man.

Grab hold of my belt.

- What are you gonna do?
- Guess!

- Have you seen Benny?
- Well, if it isn't the little Caesar of the railroad.

- Have you seen Benny!
- No. No!

Try next door.

What's the matter?

The Silver Streak is a runaway.
What do we do?

Jesus! It's gonna be here
in four minutes!

Your attention, please.

May I have
your attention, please.

You are requested to walk to
the nearest exit as quickly as possible.

Please do not run.

Walk as quickly
as possible to the nearest exit.

People waiting for the arrival
of the Silver Streak on track five...

are requested to vacate
that area immediately.

This is an emergency. Please continue
to the nearest exit where a station security...

Exit as quickly as possible.
You must leave the building..

We did it! We made it!
We made it, man! Whoo!

Holy shit!

Hello, Chicago! Hello!

Gotta drink to that!

I don't know about you,
but next time I'm gonna take the bus.

Maybe I'm crazy,
but it looks as if it's grinning.

Yeah, like the cat
who swallowed the canary.

- Where's Grover?
- I don't know.

Take it easy, killer.
Stay loose!

What's he doing?

He's crazy.

Crazy? He's got the right idea.

- Let's get outta here and go to a park.
- A park?

Yeah. I want
to lie back on the grass...

and have you teach me
some more about gardening.