All language subtitles for Mrs.America.S01E04.Betty.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

-Mom.
-Yes?

-Okay. I want
a big party this year.
-Serious?

-I want a quinceañera.
-Quinceañera?

We can't do that.
We're too white for that.
We're not allowed.

- The Supreme Court today
ruled that abortion

is completely a private matter
to be decided

by mother and doctor

in the first three months
of pregnancy.

The 7-2 ruling to that effect
will probably result

in a drastic overhaul
of state laws on abortion.

Specifically the court today
overturned

laws in Texas and Georgia
and ruled the government

has no right to enter...
- I couldn't get any work done.

- ...into a decision
which should be made

by the mother and her doctor.
- They're winning.

- During the second
three months of pregnancy...

***

- It's a great decision because
it puts right on the line

that a woman has the right
to remain pregnant or not.

It gives freedom of choice.

- I respect the conscience
of those who oppose abortion

on moral grounds.

I do not believe
that they have the right

to deprive other women
of abortion.

- Abortion may be
legally permissible.

It is still morally wrong.

Rare Earth:
* I just want to celebrate

* Another day of living

* I just want to celebrate

* Another day of life

* I put my faith in the people

* But the people let me down

* So I turned the other way,
and I carry on *

- I cannot believe it.

- You heard the news?
- I know.

Roe v. Wade.
It's the law of the land.

- I was in the Supreme Court
during oral arguments.

- Oh, my God.
You're Betty Friedan.

- I am.

- Your book--it changed my life.

Can I hug you?

- [ laughs ] Well...please.

[ laughter ]

Aw.
- Thank you, Gloria Steinem!

* Don't let it all
get you down, no, no *

* Don't let it turn you around

- Oh.

[ "A Fifth of Beethoven"
by Walter Murphy playing ]

***

***

***

***

***

***

[ audience laughter ]
- Tomorrow you'll meet

a crowned head of Europe
and marry.

I will have a fat attack.

[ audience laughter ]
- [ laughs ]

- Eat 300 peanut butter cups
and die.

- You know, now that you're
my upstairs neighbor,

I feel like I'm Mary coming up
to visit Rhoda.

- Oh, Mary never visits Rhoda.
- Never? Why?

- Why?

- [ chuckles ]
- Rhoda, I'm running...

- You're going out
in that blouse?

- Mom, it's just a blouse.

- That you can wear
when you turn 18. No, 20.

Where did you get that?

- Noreen doesn't wear it
anymore,

so she gave it to me.

- Change now, please.

- Remember what my mother
always said.

There are millions
of children...

- They share clothes now.

- Looked expensive.

- Carl loves spending money
on his new wife--

money I made from my book.

You know,
it makes him feel superior.

- You know, I may have someone
for you--

friend of Leon's, divorced,
two children, grown.

- Oh, maybe. When I get back

from
the Women's Caucus Convention.

- You seen any of them
since Miami?

- I shouldn't have slammed
Gloria and Bella in the press.

- They slammed you right back.
Didn't they convince Nora Ephron

to write that bitchy account
of you for "Esquire"?

- Nora doesn't need convincing
to write something bitchy.

- Oh, well...

- And is that what everybody
thinks?

That I'm the Wicked Witch
of the West,

and Gloria is Glinda?

- No one thinks that.

- You know,
somebody should tell Nora

that the real Wicked Witch
of the movement

is that Phyllis "Schafly" woman.

- She the one that looks like
Dolly Parton?

What's the name of her group?
Um--

- No. She's the other one
from Illinois.

- Oh, the one with the "STOP"
signs and the blonde beehive?

She is terrifying.
- And I do not buy

for one second
that she's a real blonde.

The ERA is in danger,

and everyone is too busy fawning
over Gloria to listen to me.

It's absurd! Are they
so blinded by all the hair?

- So make them listen.

You're Betty Friedan,
for chrissake.

[ Bonnie Raitt's "I Know"
playing ]

***

* I know

* You don't love me no more

* No more

* No, no more

[ indistinct conversations ]

* And it had
to be somebody else *

* That's loving you more

- Oh, thanks.

* Loving you more
[ drink splatters on ground ]

* Ain't no use

* In you crying now
after you *

- Thank you.
- Well, you know who is

a rising star in the
Republican Party? Audrey here,

and I have recruited her to run
for Vice President

of the national caucus.

- I do not know
if I'm a rising star,

but I definitely stand out.

- You were raised Republican?
- No.

And my folks were not too happy
about it.

[ laughter ]

- You know, I told you, you did
not need to bring a fur coat.

- Well, I hauled it all the way
down here.

I'm not taking it off.

- But now you're schvitzing
all over the place.

- Schvitzing?
- What? I'm trying.

- Schvitzing?
- [ chuckles ]

Oh. Oh, we should bring
Betty over.

- [ groans ]
- You think?

So she wants to be
Mother Superior.

She's earned it. We were
in the wilderness for 40 years.

She lit a match.

[ indistinct conversations ]

- [ gasps ] Oh.

***

- [ scoffs ]

Shirley! I wasn't sure
if you were coming.

Hello, everybody.

- Shirley.
- Shirley, Betty.

- Oh.
- This is Audrey.

- Are you okay?
You don't look yourself.

- Is it the investigation?
- Ugh. It's been a long year.

- You need a lawyer,
I can get you some names.

- It's just outrageous.
It's a witch hunt, you know.

Investigating you for misuse
of campaign funds

instead of Nixon.

I bet you're having a great time
at the White House right now.

- It isn't dull.
- So can you tell us which

of his advisors
they'll be calling to testify?

- Who do you think?

- Well, my money is on
Haldeman and Erlichman.

- Of course. German.

- Yes.
[ laughter ]

You know who the government
should be looking into--

Phyllis "Schafly."
- Schlafly.

- I was inspired
by Woodward and Bernstein

to do some digging
into the funding

of her STOP ERA operations,

and you'll never guess
what I discovered.

She's a member
of the John Birch Society.

- Do you think someone like her

will care if she gets called
a Bircher?

You'll have to do better
than that.

- Well, no,
but if she's a Bircher,

there's a good chance

that she's got some white sheets
in her closet.

- But we don't have proof.

- And they don't exactly share
their membership rolls.

- Well, we should use
our resources to find evidence.

Take her down.

- That is exactly what the men
with money want us to do.

They use women as a cover
to orchestrate a catfight

to distract everyone

so they can sit in dark rooms
and smoke cigars

and count their money.

The smartest thing for us to do
is not engage with her at all.

It'll only create
more headlines.

- I agree. Gloria's right.

We should stick to the program,
as they say in Weight Watchers.

- Like you would know what they
say at Weight Watchers.

[ chuckles ]
- Can we all make a pact

right here and now
not to give her the time of day?

- Huh.

***

Betty.

- Fine. I agree.

[ mouth full ] I only show up
when my help is needed.

[ amplified voice ]
Phyllis "Schafly"

did not get this money
from her housekeeping money.

I have found evidence that she
and her STOP ERA organization

received funding
from the John Birch Society,

and I believe she has ties to...

the Ku Klux Klan.

[ camera shutters clicking,
audience murmuring ]

- Yes, this is she. Yes.

Who?

Oh, good morning.

Funded by the Birch Society?
I'm sorry, what?

The Klan? Oh, no.
Uh, this charge is ridiculous.

I have not, uh, received a dime
from any organization,

unlike--well, that's all--

No, wait. Here's a quote.
[ exhales deeply ]

I hope Ms. Friedan
keeps investigating,

because it keeps her
out of trouble.

Sorry, when--when's this article
coming out?

All right.
Thank you for calling.

This is terrific news.

Betty Friedan,
the most famous of the libbers,

is attacking me in the press.

- I thought Gloria Steinem
was the most famous libber.

- Well, the point is that they
are acknowledging

that we are a force to be
reckoned with.

- But isn't it kind of awful?

I don't wanna be associated
with the John Birch society

or the Klan
or any racist groups.

- No, the John Birch Society
is--is not a-a racist group.

It's anti-communist.

- Exactly.
- Anyway, doesn't matter,

because we're--we're not
affiliated with anybody.

You're not suggesting
that I'm prejudiced.

- I...
- No, no, of course not.

No one thinks that.
The libbers lie all the time.

- And they're getting
even more desperate

now that we're winning.
- That's right.

- If people only knew how close
you are with Willie...

You taught her daughter
how to read.

But is it possible some
of the state chapters

are taking money
from these groups?

Maybe Mary Frances?

- Alice, now you know
I run a tight ship.

- Of course you do.

- All right. Well, I will, uh,
I will talk to her just in case.

- Good.
- Now the fact is that

the libbers are running scared.

They have not a single good
argument to make for the ERA,

so they're launching this, uh,
smear campaign.

- My husband and I are
John Birch Society members.

- Well, I...
Well, that--that's your right,

and I think maybe you should
just keep that to yourself.

Now this article is coming out
tomorrow,

so we need to make
a few hundred copies

and send them out
to all our chapters

and every radio news program,

'cause we need to let them know
that the, uh,

women's lib leaders are making

these ludicrous attacks
against me.

I'll just go and fill this up.

- All right.
Let's get to it, huh?

***

[ water draining ]

***

- Oh.
- No, I can--I can wait.

[ faucet turns off ]
- Please. Go ahead.

[ faucet turns on ]

- The article will call
attention to the fact

that even though thousands
of lives will be saved,

abortion isn't affordable
for poor women.

- My pitch is also
about abortion.

- [ chuckles ] I know we're all
eager to write about Roe,

but we should at least have
a couple of articles

about other areas
of the movement.

- But it's all
I can think about.

- Margaret, you have something?

- I would like to explore
the idea

of tokenism in the workplace.

This phenomenon that happens
where one minority

is propped up to cover
the experience

of an entire population.

Like the white population,
we are diverse within ourselves.

- What does that mean,
diverse within ourselves?

- There is not
a monolithic black experience.

- Wait. Sorry, you're not
saying you feel that way here.

- Uh, look at our latest issue.

- No. No, not at all.

- If you ever feel that way,
you should say something.

There's no hierarchy here.
- Right.

- I've been doing
a lot of research

about a new organization

that just sprang up--
STOP ERA.

Phyllis Schlafly
and a bunch of housewives

take bread to legislators.

- God, yes, we know
about the bread. [ scoffs ]

- [ baby crying ]

- My feelings exactly.
[ laughs ]

- I know, but now--

- I don't think we should
give her any airtime at all.

- I know, but now that Betty's
been invited to debate her...

[ telephones ringing ]
- What?

- "Ms." Magazine.
- At Illinois State University.

- Excuse me?
- "Ms." Magazine.

How can I help you?
[ ringing continues ]

- "Ms." Magazine.
How can I help you?

- You want me to do what?

- What's going on
with the phones?

[ ringing continues ]

- "Ms." Magazine.

What?

Where did you get
this number?

Which magazine?

No, you're not gonna find
anyone to lick your balls.

[ slams down receiver ]

- Sorry, what?
[ ringing continues ]

- I'm wearing a...

I guess you could say
it's a coral sweater.

Excuse me?

Oh.

[ ringing continues ]

- [ lowered voice ] Can we get
a copy of "Screw" Magazine?

[ ringing continues ]

[ hangers clacking ]

***

- I was leading the same kind
of life

that all of us were supposed
to be leading at that time.

You know,
I had my three children.

- Mm-hmm.
- And I'd had a newspaper job

and been fired because
I was pregnant,

and I wasn't even aware
or conscious

of the women's problem.

I thought there was
something wrong with me because

I-I didn't have an orgasm
waxing the kitchen floor.

[ laughter ]
I'm--

- How did you come to write
"The Feminine Mystique"?

- I was feeling
that my education at Smith

hadn't prepared me for being
just a housewife.

So I decided to send out
a questionnaire

to my fellow Smith alumni
to find out if anyone else

felt like freaks in the suburbs.

- Did you have any idea
that your book

would have the effect it did?

- You know, it was like
everybody was waiting

to have it put into words--
the problem that has no name.

And so what--
- Well, seems like you got

a runaway best-seller
on your hands.

- And it seems like you have
a habit of interrupting.

[ audience laughter ]

Do you know what I do if
my husband interrupts me?

I say the word "orgasm"
10 times in a row, and it gets--

so it shuts him right up.
[ laughter ]

- Well, I think it--

- Orgasm.
[ laughter ]

Orgasm.
[ laughter ]

Orgasm. Orgasm. Orgasm. Orgasm.
[ laughter ]

Orgasm. Orgasm. Orgasm. Orgasm.
[ laughter ]

[ voices fade ]

[ Dionne Warwick's "This Girl's
in Love With You" playing ]

And I'm growing
even more impassioned,

completely unaware that
the strap of my dress had broken

and my boob was hanging out.

And... [ laughs ] Well,
you can imagine the pictures

that ran in the press
the next day.

- Oh, I can.
- You know?

- And I am.
- [ chuckles ]

So I will say that
that kind of press

was invaluable
in getting out the word.

- Oh, I will never forget
watching that march

down 5th Avenue,
women, arms linked.

- Yes. When I got up to speak
to the crowd at Bryant Park,

it suddenly hit me that
down through the generations

through history,
our ancestors prayed,

"I thank thee, Lord,
I was not created a woman,"

and I said,
from this day forward,

women all over the world
will be able to say,

"I thank thee, Lord,
I was created a woman."

- You know, there's a saying
in Pirkei Avot--

"Every assembly that is
for a hallowed purpose

shall in the end
be established."

- I feel that mission strongly,
yeah.

***

Uh, well, I'm gonna
have another. You want another?

[ sighs ]

***

Next week, I'm going all the way
to Bloomington

to debate Phyllis "Schafly."

You've heard of her, yeah?
- No.

- Well, you will soon.
She's very media-savvy.

Everyone else underestimates her

because she looks like
a Barbie doll,

but she opens her mouth
and sounds like George Wallace.

- [ laughs ]
- So it's up to me

to go save the ERA
from her specious arguments.

And I'm sure Gloria thinks
it's a mistake.

- Gloria Steinem--
I have heard of her.

- Yeah.
- What's she like in real life?

- [ sighs ] Oh, why is everyone
so infatuated with her?

- I think it is because
she's very pretty.

- Mm. Eh.

[ sets glass down ]

So have you ever been
to Bloomington?

It's a shithole. I can say that
because I'm from Peoria.

- Peoria.
Peoria is very goyish.

I bet you grew up
drinking lime soda.

- Yeah, yeah. [ laughs ]
- [ laughs ]

- All--All my friends got into
the sorority in high school,

and I didn't, of course,
being Jewish.

So they dropped me.

***

[ telephone ringing
in distance ]

[ indistinct conversations ]

[ ringing continues ]

- You might wanna look at it
in your office.

- It's okay.

[ paper rustling ]

[ indistinct conversations
continue ]

[ birds chirping ]

- Oh.

- Thanks, Dad.
[ keys jingle ]

I won't be home for dinner.

- Oh, you've been out
every night this week.

Where are you going?

- Sweetheart,
the man has got plans.

- Thanks.
- Have fun.

- If you are seeing someone that
you have to sneak around with,

the chances are you shouldn't be
seeing her in the first place.

- I'm not.

- Well, then where are
you going?

- Church, okay? Tommy asked me
to play at his wedding.

I've been practicing
on the church's organ at night

when no one's there.

[ door opens ]
- Ready?

[ door closes ]

- Oh. You think they'll have us
facing each other.

- Well, that's how we did it
at Harvard.

- All right, what--what do I do
if, uh,

Ms. Friedan brings up
the John Birch Society?

- Deny and deflect,
just like you did in '67.

Even better, go on the attack
and accuse her

of being a...a member
of the, uh, Radicalesbians...

- Mm-hmm.
- Or whatever they're

calling themselves these days,
and using the ERA

to make it legal
for homosexuals to marry.

- Well, that's good, but she's
actually the only one of them

who has disavowed
the homosexuals.

- Hmm.
- And she called them the, uh,

"Lavender Menace."

- [ laughs ] That's clever.

- But I could accuse her
of pushing the ERA

to enshrine abortion on demand
in the Constitution.

- Not the right crowd.

- It's important.

- Not the right crowd.

So I'll be Betty.

- Oh. Betty, you're--
you're quite handsome.

- [ chuckles, clears throat ]

First, you'll each get
an opening statement.

- Well, I have a-a good, uh,
joke, uh, to start.

It's, uh, comparing the ERA

to trying to kill a fly
with a sledgehammer.

[ clears throat ]
So you're probably not

going to kill a fly,
but you almost surely will

break up some of the furniture.

You don't think that's funny?

- I do, uh, but Betty doesn't.

- Oh.

- So let's start with the draft.

- Right, well, Congress, uh,
currently has the power

to exempt women from the draft,
but the ERA would unfairly

take away that power, and, uh,
send our daughters

into the front lines,
uh, into combat duty, allow--

- But, uh, earlier this year,
the Secretary of Defense

announced the end of the draft.

- Yes, but there are
already bills in Congress

to reinstate the draft.

Now, um, I don't know anybody
who has the solution

to any wars for all time.

So the question is,

do we want women to be treated
just like men?

Uh, Vietnam, uh,

did you see any women running
to the draft board, saying,

"I want my equal rights to be
drafted just like the men"?

- Well,
that's a distracting argument.

- No, I think it's
a crucial argument, because--

- If the ERA passes, and they
do reinstate the draft...

- Mm-hmm?
- Women would not be forced

to go to war
because the military

has the right to determine
who goes into combat.

- Yes, but they wouldn't be able
to make those determinations

on the basis of sex.
It would be unconstitutional.

- Fine.

Let's, uh...you say that
the ERA will take away

the rights of, uh,
full-time homemakers.

- That's right.
- But--

- Since it is the woman who has
the baby.

so our current law recognizes
this fact,

and it allows the woman
her right to stay in her home

with her baby and be supported
by the husband. Now--

- That is not the law.
That is the norm.

- Yes, but the law clearly
places the financial burden

on the husband.

- When your father lost his job,
did the law protect your mother?

- Fred...

Betty Friedan doesn't know
about that--

- Didn't she have to go out
and get two jobs

just to keep food on the table?
- You're not being fair.

- It's--I'm making a point.
It's a debate. Fight back.

- Stop--

- Did the law protect
your mother?

- Stop it.
- Who took her privileges away?

- I said stop it. You're just
trying to make me emotional.

- See, that's how you win
a debate.

***

***

- Why aren't you at your lesson?

- Aunt Eleanor said
I didn't have to go in.

- Well, it's not up
to Aunt Eleanor.

Come on.
Your swim teacher's waiting.

- Well, Anne wasn't up for it
today.

When you were in Philadelphia,
she had a scare in the pool.

- Well, the longer she waits,
the harder it will be.

***

- [ grunts ] I don't want to.
- Let her take her time.

- Fear will not be something
that stops my child.

Now fear is not gonna stop you.

- [ cries ]

***

[ whimpering ]

- All right.

- Aah!

***

[ coughs ]

***

- [ gasps ] See? Now it's done.

You did great, sweetheart.

[ gasping ]

Yeah. You really did.

[ gasps ]

[ indistinct conversations,
telephone ringing ]

- It's not even you.

- That is me. She has my hair.
She has my face, my aviators.

- And my labia.

[ laughter ]

- Well, I had
a few blissful months

of feeling I had control
over my body.

- Hi. It's the copy of
the cease and desist letter

I sent to Al Goldstein's office.

That should shut him up.

- The damage is done. He can't
take back that I saw it.

- Could you also send
a cease and desist letter

to Betty's apartment?

- I don't understand how
a respected university

invites Betty Friedan to share
the stage with a woman

who gets her funding
from the Birchers and the Klan.

- She couldn't prove it,
and no one cares.

It could go well.
Betty's a force of nature.

She will terrorize her.

- The problem is the press
follows Betty wherever she is.

Phyllis will get
media attention,

which is what she's after.
It's a mistake.

- So stop her.
- Me? You stop her.

- It's not my attention
she's after.

- We're a political movement,
not a sorority.

Every time I reach a hand
out to her,

I pull back a bloody stump.

- Well, get used to it. Men are
gonna try and tear you down,

and women are gonna compete
with you,

and you have to deal with both.

- What I would give
to write a book that women

talk about like they talk about
"The Feminine Mystique."

I would retire to the Hamptons

and listen to the waves
crashing.

[ knock on door ]

- You're gonna be late
for your lunch.

- [ sighs ] Can you try and get
Betty Friedan on the phone

when I get back?
- Sure.

- Don't try too hard.

[ birds chirping ]

[ engine turns off ]

[ car door closes ]

- Mom?
- Hmm?

- Please don't make a scene.

- If she didn't want a scene,

then she shouldn't have
given you a blouse

that's only appropriate

for a certain type
of grown-up woman.

- [ sighs ]

- Betty,
it's so nice to see you.

Loved your last column.

Who is this mystery man
you went on a blind date with?

- Oh, it was just
a one-time thing.

You know, he hasn't called.
[ clears throat ]

Anyway, he wasn't my type.

- Men. I'm so happy you came
to the door this time.

I've been meaning to tell you,
you hear these horror stories.

The kids always hate
the new wife,

but Emily has been wonderful,
and I know that comes from you.

I hope it's okay I said that.

[ indistinct conversation ]

- Mom?

I love you.

- I love you more.

***

***

[ horns honking ]

[ knock on door ]

- Natalie.

- Hi.
[ laughter ]

- Uh, oh, I sneak up here
sometimes to water the plants.

Betty has a black thumb.
- [ laughs ]

- I live in the apartment below.
We're--We're good friends.

- Are you still at "Harper's"?

- Yes, but if you ever start
a style section,

I would be happy to consult.

Just know that I am
a very expensive hire.

- I...I really need
to speak to Betty.

I've been calling and calling.

- Oh, she's traveling
to the debate.

- Do you know which hotel she--
- Well, she didn't mention.

- Okay, well...thanks.

- Betty knows what she's doing.

- It's just we all agreed on a--

- Who agreed? You and...
and Bella?

- We try and work with her,
but she can be...

She has a difficult personality.

Maybe you don't see that side
of her because you're friends.

- Oh, no.
No, Betty is impossible.

But without her, there's no NOW,

no Women's Political Caucus,
no NARAL.

We get to do what we do
because she risked everything.

So before you tell her what
she can and cannot do,

consider just saying...
thank you.

- I'd better get back
to the office.

It was good to run into you.

- Yeah.

[ The Staple Singers'
"I'll Take You There" playing ]

[ indistinct conversations,
laughter ]

* Oh

***

* I know a place

[ laughter,
indistinct conversations ]

* Ain't nobody crying

- It's 15 of y'all.
Tell me I'm wrong.

I don't want nobody crying that
they didn't get a slice.

- Can I have mine
with vanilla frosting?

- What are you teaching
this little girl?

- [ laughs ]
- You know what, honey?

You go with your mom to "Ms."
and have all

the vanilla frosting you want,
okay?

- Then we'll listen to a record
by The Beatles.

- Why?
- Well, hey there, Carol Brady.

- Oh.
[ laughter ]

- So how are things
at the magazine?

- Ah. [ laughs ]
Gloria says they're struggling.

They have an East Side office
with outdoor carpeting

so your feet can feel good
before going inside.

- Mm! I wanna struggle
like that.

- You want some milk, honey?

- Yes, ma'am.

[ laughter ]
- Now look, she's so precious.

- Isn't she good?
[ laughter ]

- Oh, thanks, girl.

- Hey, girl.
We got cake out there.

Hey, y'all.
- Hi.

- I just cut the cake.
- All right.

- 'Cause we don't want
white women to align with us.

- Ugh. Here she goes again.
- Don't start.

- Would you like a slice?

- Thanks, girl.
- Oh, no, thank you.

***

- Don't get duped into working
with an alien political project.

- You know, I never confuse
a lawn mower with a shoe.

Hmm? Both are useful

as long as you don't mistake one
for the other.

- [ chuckles ]
- Hmm?

We can get along
with white feminists.

***

- You know, I don't have
a problem with Margaret

and her kind,
but their kind of talk

puts gender before race.

- Wait a minute.
Margaret's kind?

- If we include lesbians,
we're not gonna get support

from the Black Power movement.

- You've got to be kidding me.

[ indistinct conversations,
laughter ]

***

[ indistinct conversations
continue ]

- You wanna talk about it?
Let's talk about it.

- There will be no
"Lavender Menace" bullshit here.

Lesbians are welcome.

Horizontal hostility is not.

* I'll take you there

* Ain't nobody crying

* I'll take you there

- Where's my milk?
[ door opens and closes ]

- Oh, shit, I'm sorry, baby.

- Tell everybody what you say
whenever the kids at school

ask you why your mama is gay.

- I say,
"Why is your mom straight?"

[ laughter ]

- Gimme five.

- Oh, Doris can start
her own damn organization

because we embrace everyone
in this one.

- That's right.
- You call this an organization?

It's just this--
Sundays at Flo's.

- Well, you think you can
do better?

I am sick and tired
of y'all bitches

always talking 'bout y'all
need to form somethin'.

You wanna form somethin'?
Go on then. Form it.

[ indistinct conversations ]

[ footsteps depart ]

[ toilet flushes,
footsteps approach ]

- You must be Betty Friedan.
Phyllis Schlafly.

- How do the Birches feel about
you powdering your nose

in an integrated bathroom?

- Well, I imagine the same way
that the militant lesbians

feel about you
even powdering yours.

- Just think if we had
the ERA.

All the pedophiles and perverts
lurking in those stalls

would get to witness
this special moment.

[ clatter ]

- Oh!
- Oh!

- [ laughs ]
- Oh, are you here

to escort me to the stage?

- I'm here with my wife.
- My good luck charm.

- You'll need it.

- [ amplified voice ]
Ms. Friedan is, as you know,

the author
of "The Feminine Mystique"

and the mother
of the women's movement.

[ loud cheers and applause ]

- Thank you.
Thank you very much.

- And is, as I recently
found out, a Peorian.

- Yes.
- Welcome back to Illinois.

- Thank you.

[ cheers and applause
continue ]

- Mrs. Schlafly,
who is going to speak

from the STOP ERA position,
is a Republican,

active in politics,
and lives here in Illinois.

[ scattered applause ]
She is going to speak first.

[ applause recedes ]

- [ amplified voice ]
Well, before I start, girls,

uh, I'd like to thank
my husband Fred

for letting me come here today.

He never interferes
with my, uh, civil liberties.

Whenever we have an argument,
he always reminds me

of my constitutional right
to remain silent.

- [ chuckles ]
- [ audience murmuring ]

- Now let me see a show of hands
of how many girls here...

- Women!
- ...want to be drafted.

- We're women!
- Into combat duty. How many?

- We're women!
- I want to say to the women...

- And I think that to speak to
a certain degree of hypocrisy.

- ...they are too old to
be called girls.

Men are called men.
- Thank you, Betty!

- Then in a few months, we will
have an all-volunteer army,

and I do believe that if we want
the same rights as men,

we have to be able to accept
the same responsibilities.

[ loud cheers and applause ]

- Well, uh, you see, this is
a fundamental difference

between the proponents
and the opponents,

is I don't want my daughters
killed in combat.

- Oh, but your sons
you're okay with?

- And the ERA will positively--
- Because I have two sons,

and I don't want them
killed in war

any more than my daughters.

- Ms. Friedan, it is still
Mrs. Schlafly's time.

- Thank you.
- How about we don't send

any of our children
into combat?

[ loud cheers and applause ]

- No, no, no, no, no.

No, you see, uh...

a lot of, uh, naive people
said that after Korea.

You know,
we'll never get involved

in another war in, uh, Asia.

But, uh, unfortunately,
I don't know anybody

who has a solution
for ending wars for all time.

You know, I don't have
a crystal ball. Do you?

- [ murmuring ]

- You keep insisting that
a woman's place is in the home,

but you waltz around the country
decrying us

for trying to open
career opportunities to women,

and this is what I can't stand--
the hypocrisy.

[ cheers and applause ]

- I have always maintained
that women today

have true freedom of choice.

Now we can choose to be
a full-time wife and a mother,

or you can choose to go
into the workforce

on the basis of equal pay
for equal work,

or you can do both
at the same time,

because your life is what
you make it.

- Oh, is that what you say...
- Now on the American women--

- ...to the woman who chooses
to be a full-time wife

and mother?
- Mm-hmm.

- The housewife that you claim
to care so much about?

Because they are the ones

that are really
discriminated against.

- American women today are
the luckiest class of people

on the face of the Earth.
We can do anything

we want to do.
- The law does not enforce

a woman's right to be provided
for so long as she's married.

That is a fairy tale.
- I'm sorry, uh, uh, Chairman,

I thought we were having
a debate, not a free-for-all.

- A woman cannot be insured
in her own right

for Social Security, and if
her marriage ends in divorce,

all the work she did in the home
for all those years

is not taken into account
in the settlement.

There is no provision
in existing law

to enforce alimony
and child support.

But, hey, your life
is what you make of it, right?

[ loud cheers and applause ]

- Now we have heard a lot
of, uh, emotional oratory

from my, uh, opponent,
but not one single fact

about what
the Equal Rights Amendment

will do to benefit women.
- My opponent accuses me

of emotional oratory when she...
- You see, it won't give them

any rights or privileges that
they don't already have.

- ...scares women that they
should stop the likes of us

as if we're a communist
for asking that the government

fund childcare centers.

[ laughter ]
- I don't believe

that we should look
to the government

and our--our Constitution
to solve our personal problems.

- [ murmuring ]

- You see,
this is the false lure

of the women's liberation
movement--happiness.

Because the fact is, girls,

the ERA will not solve
your personal problems.

It will not hand you
a happy home life.

It won't give you
a Sunday kind of love,

as the, uh, popular song goes,
and it certainly will not, uh,

keep your husband from being
jealous or petty

or dumping you
in your middle age

for a new, younger model after
you have, uh, devoted yourself

to keeping his home
for 20 or 30 years,

because you simply cannot
legislate

universal sympathy
for the middle-aged woman.

Now remember this,
before you throw away your youth

and your beauty and your virtue

to join in this new sisterhood
of misery--

- You are a traitor to your sex.
You're an Aunt Tom.

- Now, uh, you are correct
on one count.

I do leave my home on occasion,

and I travel
all over the country,

and I meet women
from all walks of life,

and you, Ms. Friedan,

are the unhappiest woman
I have ever met.

- And you are a witch!

God, I'd like to burn you
at the stake!

- [ audience gasps loudly ]

[ murmuring ]

- [ chuckles ]

[ chuckles ]

Oh, no. Well, on the contrary,
I'm pleased

that, uh, Ms. Friedan made
that comment

because maybe now people
will realize

just how intolerant
and intemperate

the proponents of the ERA
really are.

- Thanks so much for your time.

- Oh.
- Really appreciate it.

- Betty.
- Yes. Uh...

- [ women speaking at once ]
- Ms. Friedan...

- I...I...I can't.
- [ all speaking at once ]

- [ exhales deeply ]

[ coughs ]

[ inhales and exhales deeply ]

[ coughing ]

[ breathing heavily ]

[ wheezes ]

[ inhaling sharply ]

[ exhaling deeply ]

[ sniffles ]

[ exhales deeply ]

[ inhales sharply ]

[ exhales deeply ]

- There she is.

You're in it, huh?

But you and Conrad are good.

- The investigation's taking
a toll on us both.

- If you wanna be happy,
if you wanna be sad,

I'm right here...

and I got cake.

- [ chuckles ]

- We missed you.

We're doing it.

We're calling it the National
Black Feminist Organization.

- Hmm.
- And we put "National"

in the title
just to get folks hooked,

and then they'll break off
and do their own thing.

Two years, they'll be done
with all of it.

- Two years?
- That's all the time folks got

to be into this shit.

Not me, though. I'm a lifer.

[ grunts ]

The one thing that everybody
could agree on

is that you should be
our first keynote speaker.

- Maybe.

- Yeah.

[ indistinct conversations ]

- Oh, I can't accept you boys
are old enough to drive,

much less get married.

- Oh. Don't worry. I'm perfectly
happy living at home,

running around with commies
and floozies.

- Oh. [ chuckles ]

- Phyllis!
- [ gasps ]

[ indistinct conversations ]

- I just wanna say thank you
for the work you're doing.

- Oh.

- You put Betty Friedan
in her place.

Finally,
we have our own champion.

- Well, thank you so much.

[ indistinct conversations ]

- I know. I should shut my mouth
and wear beige,

but my personal
color analysis says...

- Sit down.
- ...I'm a winter person.

- Oh.
- Go. Come on.

- You look absolutely stunning.
- Thank you.

- I'd marry her again right now.
- Aw.

- What a special day.
- My son may be getting married,

but all anyone wants to know

is when the Phyllis Schlafly
is arriving.

- Oh.

- You must be on top
of the world.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

[ organ playing processional ]

***

***

***

***

[ switch clicks ]

[ thud ]

[ horns honking in distance ]

- I didn't mean to scare you.

We got to talking at Flo's.

- If you ever need a place
for meetings or anything,

you're welcome to use
our offices here.

- Thanks.

We'll find something.

***

[ cereal rattles ]

[ telephone rings ]

- [ crunching ]

[ ring ]

Natalie, I'll come down
to watch "Maude,"

but I'm not hungry, and I don't
wanna talk about the--

- It's Gloria.

- Oh. Hello, Gloria.

- If I had to be on
the same stage as that woman...

[ sighs ]

I would've called her something
worse than "witch."

- Yeah, that was restrained
for me.

[ horn honks in distance ]

- You were right.

We don't get to decide how
the battle lines are drawn

or how the male press
portrays us.

I've been thinking
about the first time

I read "The Feminine Mystique."

"Why should women accept
this picture of a half-life,

instead of a share in the whole
of human destiny?"

I don't know if I ever told you.

Your book changed my life.

***

Thank you.

[ Jackie DeShannon's "What
the World Needs Now" playing ]

[ line disconnects ]

* What the world needs now

* Is love, sweet love

* It's the only thing

* That there's just
too little of *

* What the world needs now

* Is love, sweet love

* No, not just for some

* But for everyone

* Lord, we don't need
another mountain *

* There are mountains
and hillsides *

* Enough to climb

* There are oceans and rivers

* Enough to cross

* Enough to last

* Till the end of time

* What the world needs now

* Is love, sweet love

* It's the only thing

* That there's just
too little of *

* What the world needs now

* Is love, sweet love

* No, not just for some

* Oh, but just
for every, every *

* Everyone

***

- * What the world needs now

- * Whoa, oh

- * Is love, sweet love
- * Is love

- * What the world needs now
- * Oh, oh, oh

- * Is love, sweet love
- * Is love

- * What the world needs now
- * Oh, oh

- * Is love, sweet love
- * Is love

(laughter)

How did you come to write
The Feminine Mystique?

I thought there was
something wrong with me

because I didn't have
an orgasm waxing
the kitchen floor.

-(laughing)
-(audience claps)

[woman] Cause precedes effect.

Effect leads to cause.

The future is fixed
in exactly the same way
as the past.

Pulling hair is wrong, mate.

I mean, all violence is wrong,
but at least punching's a sport.

-Is it?
-Yes, boxing.

Boxing's in the Olympics.
Hair pulling isn't.

-It would be funny if it was.
-It really would be.

We are Nadja and Laszlo,
the human music group.

She's a superb lyricist.

* We're feeling horny for blood
We're feeling horny for love *

It's the painting in which
you invented the portrait pose.

There I am,
behind this dead chap.

This was the first time
that was ever done.

-(shrieking)
-COLIN: I'm changing.
I'm becoming stronger.

(shouting)

Oh, hey. Don't sit on that.

(up-tempo music plays)

VOCALISTS: Hey!

Aren't you Lil Dicky?

* Yes, I know
That I'm a rapper *

-* At the end of the day *
-(gasping)

* But I think
It's time you knew me
By my government name *

-* Hi, I'm Dave *
-ANNOUNCER: Dave.

All-new Wednesday at 10:00
on FXX.

And next day, FX on Hulu.