All language subtitles for Episode 3 - Father Knows Less

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:23,346 Hmm... bag feels a little light, Dad. 2 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,221 - Chips! - Chips! 3 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,800 Chocolate chips. 4 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:37,702 It's good to be men. 5 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,332 Better to be living men. 6 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,433 Come on, Mom. Manly food. 7 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,070 Come on, Cor. Momly food. 8 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:47,910 Humor her. She washes your underwear. 9 00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:50,075 Aren't you going to cut these sandwiches? 10 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:51,516 No, no. When men eat... 11 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,747 they like to feel a fistful of bread and meat... 12 00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:56,255 not some crustless little triangle. 13 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,485 Yeah, Mom. Last time you made us sandwiches... 14 00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:00,493 all the truckers that passed us laughed... 15 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,052 and thought we were major nozzles. 16 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:05,064 I want to go see the Blue Angels. 17 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,623 These aren't angels from heaven, Morgan. 18 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,363 Yeah, these angels are from the Navy. 19 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,371 Me and Dad are gonna watch 'em do formations. 20 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:14,272 - I want to go with you. - Ya do? 21 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:15,570 Cory. 22 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,873 Dad. You know she can't sit still. 23 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,904 You know she's got an attention span of, like, two seconds. 24 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,382 Morgan? 25 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,351 I got it. 26 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:31,021 Heather, I'm sorry. Look, you wear a turtleneck... 27 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,821 no one's even gonna notice. 28 00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:37,760 OK. I sucked a neck. 29 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,405 Mrs. Matthews, Leonard Spinelli. 30 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,498 I'm Mr. Matthews' assistant manager. 31 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,236 Lenny, I know who you are. 32 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,574 You've had dinner here maybe twenty times. 33 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,409 Oh, well, I'm just never sure... 34 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,472 if I really make an impression on people. 35 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:57,983 Yeah, you do. 36 00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,350 I tried phoning, repeatedly. 37 00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,878 Did you know call waiting is only pennies a day? 38 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,152 Lenny alert. 39 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,161 Mr. Matthews, I'm very sorry... 40 00:02:08,195 --> 00:02:10,425 to disturb you at home, especially on a Sunday. 41 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:13,058 Especially when you're spending time with your family. 42 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,226 Leonard Spinelli. 43 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,734 Lenny, I know who you are. 44 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,739 Oh, really? Because I'm never really sure if... 45 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:20,967 Yeah. 46 00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,441 You do. 47 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,535 Lenny, you came here. 48 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,341 I assume there's a point. 49 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:29,349 Right. Mr. Matthews, if we move quickly... 50 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:32,352 I think we can contain this thing. 51 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,547 Oh, the horror! 52 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,488 Bottom line, Lenny. 53 00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:39,651 Right, right. oh, boy. The bottom line is this. 54 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,662 You know that long shelf over the produce department... 55 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,664 that holds all those cases of Perrier? 56 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,892 Yeah. 57 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,731 - It doesn't do that anymore. - It fell down? 58 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:51,033 "Fell down" would be one way of putting it. 59 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,164 Another way would be that the bottles crashed... 60 00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:55,800 through those produce bins like they were eggshells... 61 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,867 and sent an imported French tidal wave... 62 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,742 all the way down aisle six. 63 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,645 What's on aisle six? 64 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,116 10,000 packages of Alka Seltzer. 65 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,712 - Was anybody hurt? - Hard to say. 66 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,314 Mr. Conklin was still fizzing when I left. 67 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:13,326 - I got to go. - Dad... 68 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,921 Cory, I got to go. I've got an effervescent produce manager. 69 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,693 Well, you got a warping son. 70 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,859 I'm not spending enough time with my dad. 71 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,425 You step out of this house... 72 00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,733 I'm on my way to my first ballet lesson. 73 00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,568 I'll promise you. I'll make it up to you. 74 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,235 Hey, I promise. 75 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:37,440 Hey, Cory. Cory. 76 00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:39,240 Phillies are playing on the west coast... 77 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,951 and Schilling's going into the seventh inning... 78 00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,419 with a no-hitter against the Dodgers. 79 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,609 You too tired to come down... 80 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:44,755 and watch the rest of the game with me? 81 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,253 What, are you new here? 82 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,289 The Phillies got a no-hitter going. 83 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:52,587 Want to come down watch the game with me and Cory? 84 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,253 I can't. I'm... 85 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,626 I'm naked, and I'm taking a math test. 86 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,769 Boy, you never see this on a menu. 87 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,279 They don't know good. 88 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,612 Long fly ball. 89 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,379 Could be the no-hitter. 90 00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:21,012 No! Dykstra pulls it back over the wall. 91 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:28,288 - I hear ya. - Mmph! 92 00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:36,098 Thanks for waking me up, Dad. 93 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:39,469 Hey, wouldn't be this much fun without you. 94 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,371 Uh, don't tell Mom. 95 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,873 Mom's not in on this? 96 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,606 No, no, no. This is kind of a guy secret. 97 00:05:46,646 --> 00:05:49,911 Well, a father-son bonding. 98 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:55,082 Your mother can never find out about this. 99 00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,116 - Dad? - Hmm? 100 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,062 This was as good as watching those navy planes any day. 101 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,931 All right, class, time's up. 102 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,534 Please pass your test papers to the front of your rows. 103 00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:20,535 Mr. Minkus, this test didn't require an essay answer... 104 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:24,676 but how refreshing that you've chosen to include one. 105 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,549 Ahem. Suck-up. 106 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:27,780 Future plumber. 107 00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,890 Feels a C-minus short. 108 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,586 Ah, yes. 109 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,095 Here we are. 110 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,233 Huh? Is the test over? 111 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,598 How'd I do? 112 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:44,297 - Looks like an "A." - I got an "A"? 113 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:46,567 No. "A" is the only answer you put down... 114 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,506 before you slipped into the coma. 115 00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,772 So, what did I get? 116 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:55,305 Well, you answered one question out of forty, and got it wrong. 117 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,680 So what grade do you think I'm going to give you? 118 00:06:57,717 --> 00:07:02,677 Can it be found at the beginning of the word "fajita"? 119 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,587 Si. senor. 120 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:07,684 Come on, Mr. Feeny. I was up till after midnight. 121 00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,354 Oh, and what earth-shattering event... 122 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,091 kept you up till that time of night? 123 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,257 A no-hitter. 124 00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,426 You got to stay up and watch the game? 125 00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,731 - With my dad. - Cool. 126 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,534 Ah, baseball. Silly me. 127 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,097 I thought you might've stayed up... 128 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,371 for something frivolous, like the announcement... 129 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:26,243 from Stockholm of the Nobel Prizes. 130 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,770 Biophysics... Dr. Ira Soochek. 131 00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:31,215 Medicine... Dr. Lin Yi Pao. 132 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,152 Economics... Professor Narwhal Fowab. 133 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,314 And I'm fresh as a daisy. 134 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,115 - Teacher's pet. - Fix a sink. 135 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,894 - Hi, babe. - Hi, Daddy. 136 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,660 I think he was talking to me. 137 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,600 Well, actually, it was a generic "babe"... 138 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,229 encompassing all of womanhood. 139 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,569 Oh, don't I feel special? 140 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,576 Dad. Dad! We blew it. 141 00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,148 Hey, I haven't seen you since breakfast. 142 00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,616 Whatever it was, you blew it yourself. 143 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,809 I failed a test today just because I fell asleep. 144 00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:06,046 I told Mr. Feeny you and I were up past midnight... 145 00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:09,453 watching this incredible no-hitter and... 146 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,319 and then I realized... 147 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,055 it was probably just an intensely vivid dream. 148 00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:22,000 You kept him up that late on a school night? 149 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,593 Well, it may not have been me. 150 00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,161 I think I saw some other father... 151 00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,968 slurking around out there after midnight. 152 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,976 Midnight on a school night? What were you thinking? 153 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,468 I was thinking that I don't spend enough time with my son. 154 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,210 I was thinking that I promised to make it up to him. 155 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,582 I was thinking I'd go have a talk with Mr. Feeny. 156 00:08:39,619 --> 00:08:40,916 Thank you. 157 00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,479 I'll explain it to him, get him to let Cory take a make-up test. 158 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,785 Oh, I'm so glad. 159 00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:47,657 Because until you do, you're grounded. 160 00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:52,861 Does that really work? Can she ground you? 161 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,568 In certain ways, yes. 162 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,509 All right, Dad. The Dad-inator. 163 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,738 You're gonna crush Feeny like a grape. 164 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:08,145 - George. - Alan. 165 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,512 Mr. Feeny. 166 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,948 Mr. Matthews. 167 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,679 I'd Like to talk to you... 168 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,209 about that test my son failed today. 169 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,154 Of course, Alan. I'm always available... 170 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:19,283 to discuss a student's progress or problems... 171 00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:20,691 with an interested parent. 172 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,025 You see, it was my fault he fell asleep in class. 173 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,590 - I kept him up late last night. - To watch a baseball game. 174 00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,931 A no-hitter! A piece of Phillies' history. 175 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:33,599 You know when the last one was? May 23, 1991. Tommy Greene. 176 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,041 And do you want to know what happened June 21, 1964? 177 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,170 A perfect game. Jim Bunning. 178 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:43,046 And what year did Magellan circumnavigate the globe? 179 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,449 Why would I fill my head with that junk? 180 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:49,148 Uh... George, I had made plans with Cory yesterday... 181 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,180 and something came up. I had to cancel. 182 00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,530 I promised to make it up to him, so I got him out of bed... 183 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,495 last night for a little father-son bonding. 184 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,496 I see. 185 00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,499 So, can he take a make-up test later this week? 186 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,330 Cory may not take a make-up test. 187 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,098 The "F" stands. 188 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,636 I thought you said you understood. 189 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,904 I believe I do understand, Alan. 190 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,911 But understanding and condoning... 191 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,573 are two entirely separate concepts. 192 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,879 So you're gonna fail a boy for spending time with his father? 193 00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,181 In my 35 years of teaching... 194 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,882 I have heard every excuse imaginable... 195 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:25,356 for why someone fails a test. 196 00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:28,884 What's my excuse if somewhere down the line... 197 00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,555 a child fails at something... 198 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:33,361 because I once abrogated my responsibility... 199 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,833 to impart knowledge? 200 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:41,062 I've got to listen to this every day. 201 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,936 - House. - Gone. 202 00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:47,845 Look, I don't understand... 203 00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,247 why you're making a federal case out of this. 204 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,580 Maybe if you were entrusted... 205 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:55,213 with the education of 32 sixth-graders every day... 206 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,314 you would understand what I'm talking about. 207 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,291 And maybe if you had a son... 208 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,997 and were trying to find time to spend with him... 209 00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:02,426 in between your job... 210 00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,430 and fixing the car, and insulating the attic... 211 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,364 you'd understand what I'm talking about. 212 00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,128 But you don't have a son, George... 213 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,295 so how could you understand? 214 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,099 Well, we are obviously... 215 00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:16,938 on opposite sides of the fence here. 216 00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:19,001 Yes, we are. 217 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,605 Now, this conversation is over. 218 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:28,146 Aw, Dad. You got Feened. 219 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,550 Ah, the conquering heroes return. 220 00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:35,856 How did you do? 221 00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,630 It was a very difficult conversation. 222 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,498 'Cause Feeny's a butt. 223 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,935 Hey, you don't call your teacher that. 224 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,132 Good teachers are a rare commodity in this world... 225 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,334 and George Feeny is a great teacher. 226 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:52,640 Why don't you go upstairs and get some tennis clothes on. 227 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,579 We'll go down to the "Y", hit some balls. 228 00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:55,614 OK. 229 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,550 Feeny's a butt. 230 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,780 Alan. 231 00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,378 I know what you're going to say. 232 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,480 No, you don't. 233 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,184 Oh, yes I do. You're gonna say... 234 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,163 I'm a jerk for keeping my kid up half the night... 235 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:08,698 and then trying to weasel his teacher... 236 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,787 into making an exception to the rules. 237 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,491 That's not what I was going to say. 238 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,159 OK, what were you going to say? 239 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,758 Forks go on the left. 240 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:22,408 - That's it? - No. 241 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,808 I know why you did what you did... 242 00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:29,008 and I love you for wanting to spend more time with Cory... 243 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,642 but you can't just jerk his life around... 244 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,743 to... to let yourself off the hook... 245 00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:35,515 when you don't have time for him. 246 00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,847 I'LL get it! 247 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,555 Mr. Matthews? Leonard Spinelli. 248 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,086 - I work for your father. - I know that, Lenny. 249 00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:47,190 I see you at the store every day. 250 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,895 Look, you're the assistant manager. 251 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:52,461 I'm just a boxboy. Why don't you call me Eric? 252 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,996 That would make me intensely uncomfortable. 253 00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,134 I blanch at the thought. 254 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,015 Lenny, was there something you had to tell my dad? 255 00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:00,910 Yes, there was. Hence, I came here. 256 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,915 He's right in there. 257 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,241 Oh, God! 258 00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,021 Hello, Lenny. 259 00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:12,490 Mr. Matthews, I'm very sorry to disturb you at home... 260 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,152 especially after-hours. 261 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,994 Especially when you're giving mrs. Matthews... 262 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,963 mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. 263 00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:21,728 - Why are you in my kitchen? - There's a problem at the store. 264 00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,633 Well, of course there's a problem at the store. 265 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,228 There's always a problem at the store. 266 00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,068 That's why they hire a manager. 267 00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:30,667 Can you tell me why they hire an assistant manager? 268 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:34,703 To tell the manager when there's a problem at the store? 269 00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:37,307 No. To assist the manager... 270 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,217 by taking care of the problem when he's not there. 271 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,380 I had no idea. 272 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,287 I apologize. Forget I was here... 273 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,485 because this is a problem for the assistant manager. 274 00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:47,925 There is no problem for you. 275 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,826 - Dad, you ready? - Yes, I am. 276 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,693 I'm ready to play tennis with my son... 277 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:52,959 and bring him home early... 278 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,559 let him get a good night's rest, send him off to school... 279 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,196 and watch those As start rolling in. 280 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,796 And I am going back to the store... 281 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,069 to make sure we never again put the lighter fluid... 282 00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:04,576 next to the rotisserie chickens. 283 00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,339 Are we talking about a fire, Lenny? 284 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,507 Yeah, but there is no problem for you. 285 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,414 How much of the store is left? 286 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,316 St... 287 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,786 Cory... 288 00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,789 Dad, it's oK, and you don't have... 289 00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,484 to wake me up or anything later. 290 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,185 We'll play tennis some other time. 291 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:21,420 Is the fire out, Lenny? 292 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,588 Oh, yeah. We contained the actual flameage. 293 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,188 Fine. Wait for me in the car. 294 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:26,630 Yes, sir. 295 00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,429 Miss Matthews, Leonard Spinelli. 296 00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,095 I work for your father. 297 00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,604 Lenny, we've been through this. 298 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,532 Cory, your mother just said something to me... 299 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,306 that made a lot of sense. 300 00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:41,370 Don't you hate when she does that? 301 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,507 Yes, I do. 302 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,710 She pointed out to me that I'm angry... 303 00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:48,050 at the wrong guy about your test. 304 00:14:48,087 --> 00:14:49,918 Well, what other guy is there? 305 00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,856 Mr. Feeny's the one who failed me. 306 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:54,223 No, I failed you. I didn't do my job. 307 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,887 You're at the store all day. 308 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,828 How could you say you're not doing your job? 309 00:14:57,864 --> 00:15:00,196 I didn't do my job as your father. 310 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,257 What? 311 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,768 Look, if it was up to me... 312 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,362 you wouldn't have to go to sleep at all. 313 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,608 You wouldn't have to go to school... 314 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:06,935 I wouldn't have to go to work... 315 00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,873 and we could just spend all our time together. 316 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,967 And there's nothing that I'd rather do. 317 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,910 Then why don't we do that? 318 00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:14,242 I don't know. 319 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,078 I guess the family's gotten used to eating. 320 00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:18,674 Cory... 321 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:22,484 I shouldn't have kept you up late last night. 322 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,320 Mr. Feeny is right. 323 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:34,025 Uh-oh. 324 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:46,840 Don't shoot, Mr. Feeny! 325 00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,608 I'm just getting my tennis ball! 326 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,481 Good evening, Mr. Matthews. 327 00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:54,077 Care to join me for a drink? 328 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,748 Uh... sure. 329 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,552 Help yourself. 330 00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,113 Hey! This is apple juice! 331 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:32,090 Oh, gee, I must've left it in there too long. 332 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,649 Nice, uh... 333 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,593 What do you call this thing? 334 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:38,620 Hmm, a Christmas present from my sister. 335 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,598 She forgets that I only take... 336 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,534 the occasional glass of claret with dinner. 337 00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:47,061 So, how come you're sitting outside in the dark? 338 00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:50,007 I was thinking about when I was a boy... 339 00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:52,306 just a little younger than you are. 340 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,835 There was a war going on. 341 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,509 It's hard to picture you as a boy. 342 00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,417 Did your parents call you Mr. Feeny? 343 00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,653 I used to ask my mother... 344 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:08,387 why I could only have butter on my toast two mornings a week... 345 00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:10,988 and she said, "Because of the war in Europe." 346 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,658 And I wondered why there was never enough candy... 347 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:17,294 and she told me, "Because of the war in Europe." 348 00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,964 oh, and I longed for a pair of sneakers. 349 00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,803 But I couldn't have any. 350 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:25,106 Those Europe guys stole 'em? 351 00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:29,672 No, no. The rubber had to be diverted to the war effort. 352 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,774 There was a version of a sneaker available... 353 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,651 but it was made out of recycled tires... 354 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,747 and left black marks on the gym floor. 355 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,849 Hey, you took gym? 356 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,689 They made me. 357 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:47,329 Anyway, I prayed every night for an end to the war in Europe. 358 00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:50,699 Not from any altruistic desire for world peace. 359 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:56,038 Just a boy's selfish wish for buttered toast and sneakers. 360 00:17:56,075 --> 00:18:00,876 Then I heard that Mr. Truman was going on the radio that night... 361 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,972 to announce the end of the war. 362 00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,176 And I went home and asked my father... 363 00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:09,211 if I could stay up with him to hear the president. 364 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,155 Do you know what he said? 365 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,021 I'm guessing it's either yes or no... 366 00:18:13,059 --> 00:18:16,995 but we both know how well I do on multiple choice. 367 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:22,362 He said... "Tomorrow's a school day. 368 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:24,494 "I don't want you up with me." 369 00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:29,372 So you're saying your dad really knew the value of education. 370 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,740 No, I'm saying my father didn't want me... 371 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:35,645 hanging around with him and his drinking buddies. 372 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:38,479 As a result, the next day at school... 373 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:42,511 I was rested and fresh and ready to learn. 374 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,819 I see your point, Mr. Feeny. 375 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,849 No, I don't think you really do, Cory. 376 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:51,762 What do you suppose I learned in school that day? 377 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:55,062 I know this has got to be a biggie... 378 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,831 like the Magna Carta or something. 379 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:01,636 I have no idea what you learned that day. 380 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,608 Neither do I. 381 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,736 You see, Mr. Matthews... 382 00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:08,941 education is not about obscure facts... 383 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,176 and little test scores. 384 00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:14,948 Education is about the overall effect... 385 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,683 of years of slow absorption... 386 00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:19,953 concepts, philosophies... 387 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,984 approaches to problem-solving. 388 00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:28,865 The whole process is so grand and all-encompassing... 389 00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,994 that it really can't be threatened... 390 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:34,495 by the occasional late-night no-hitter. 391 00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:41,270 It is important that a boy spend time with his father. 392 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,578 But... how do you know that? 393 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,709 Your dad didn't let you stay up with him. 394 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,242 That's precisely why I do know. 395 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,781 Cory! 396 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,256 Over here, Dad... 397 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,054 having a drink with Mr. Feeny. 398 00:19:55,394 --> 00:19:58,192 It's just apple juice. How's the store? 399 00:19:58,230 --> 00:19:59,663 Oh, the store is fine. 400 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,758 Just a small grease fire at the rotisserie. 401 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:05,362 Tomorrow we'll run a special on blackened chicken. 402 00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:07,395 - Alan. - George. 403 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,465 Better come in, kiddo. About time for bed. 404 00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:10,770 Sure, Dad. 405 00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:15,076 Um... are we ever gonna study that European sneaker war? 406 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,514 I think you'll get to it sometime... 407 00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,609 in the course of your education. 408 00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:22,621 Good, 'cause it sounded really interesting. 409 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:24,350 Oh, it was. 410 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,984 Well, good night, Mr. Feeny. 411 00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:28,823 Good night, Mr. Matthews. 412 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,994 Ahem. I, uh... 413 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,469 just want you to know I'm gonna have him in bed... 414 00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,268 every night when he's supposed to be. 415 00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:45,004 Well, I want you to know that if I did have a son... 416 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:47,604 and the opportunity presented itself... 417 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:50,548 to wake him up to watch a baseball game... 418 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:54,952 or to listen to the president on the radio... 419 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:58,423 or for absolutely no reason at all... 420 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,422 Well... 421 00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:03,985 good night, Alan. 422 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,558 Good night, George. 423 00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:15,463 Night, Cor. Have good dreams. 424 00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:16,998 You, too. 425 00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:18,510 Hey, Mom? 426 00:21:18,544 --> 00:21:20,068 Hey, Cor? 427 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,876 - Can I ask you something? - Sure. 428 00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:26,146 I'm on the clock for another half hour. 429 00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:28,779 Um... well, earlier tonight... 430 00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,721 Dad told me Mr. Feeny was right. 431 00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:34,089 And then later on, Mr. Feeny told me Dad was right. 432 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,219 At least that's what I think he was saying. 433 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:38,134 Sometimes I can't hold my breathe long enough... 434 00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:41,361 to get down to where Mr. Feeny likes to swim. 435 00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,533 Well, Cor, sometimes two adults... 436 00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,868 can think two different ways about something... 437 00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:48,533 and both can be right. 438 00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:51,134 Then, how come I only think one way about things... 439 00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:52,508 and I'm always wrong? 440 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:54,604 Good night, Cory. See you tomorrow. 441 00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:55,978 What do you mean, tomorrow? 442 00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:57,846 The Phillies are still in Los Angeles. 443 00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:59,441 What if there's a no-hitter going? 444 00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,476 What if the president goes on the radio? 445 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,455 Whatever goes on can wait till tomorrow. 446 00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,787 How come? 447 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:09,261 Because your father is always gonna be there... 448 00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:11,923 in the morning to tell you about it. 449 00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:13,295 Good night, Dad. 450 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,924 Good night, son. 451 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:18,731 Am I still grounded? 452 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:20,238 We'll talk about it. 453 00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:24,470 Hey, talk I can get anywhere. Hmm? 454 00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:28,875 He won't be back tonight. 31401

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