All language subtitles for 04 - The Night Of The Big Blast (10.07.1966)

Soon now.

Soon, my pretty one.

Miklos,
connect the electrodes.

Ah, beautiful.

Hurry, Miklos.

The storm
is almost upon us.

Electrodes attached?

Good.
Now the straps.

Magnificent.

Hurry, Miklos.

Raise the lightning arrester.

Come, Miklos.

Miklos...
turn off the equipment.

Who are you?

I don't know.

Then I will tell you.

Your name is...

James West.

Yes.

And who are you?

I am Dr. Faustina.
You are my-

My patient.

And you must follow
my instructions exactly.

Do you
understand that?

I must follow
your instructions exactly.

Uh, this is
my assistant, Miklos.

You owe your life in part
to his efforts.

Thank you.

Miklos
is mute.

He cannot speak.

An unfortunate accident.

But he hears,
and he is very intelligent.

Can you stand up, Mr. West?

Ah, good, good.

Now will you walk,
please?

Excellent.

You may stop now.

Tell me, Mr. West...

what do you feel?

Nothing.

Do you know
how you came here?

No.

Oh, you were very ill,
Mr. West.

Miklos and I
took care of you.

Now you will perform
a little task for us.

There is a top-secret meeting

being held
in the city of New Orleans.

High government officials
will be there.

And I would
like you

to represent me.

Now, I have a feeling
you are very strong

since your treatments.

Would you show us, please?

Miklos,
on the table.

Try to lift them.

Oh, splendid.

Splendid.

I'm sure no one will be
able to stand in your way.

Uh, you may
put them down.

Come.

Come.

Now- Now,
listen to me closely.

When you leave here,
you will be taken

to the city of New Orleans,
a few miles away.

You will go directly to
the federal government building

on Canal Street.

You understand that?

I understand.

It is Mardi Gras time,

and you will see many
strange sights,

strange people,

but you will pay
no attention to them.

You will not be
detained.

I will not be detained.

When you reach the federal
government building,

you will present
credentials,

and you will be admitted

to a meeting
of cabinet officers.

Now remember, time is
of the utmost importance

in your mission.

Time is of
the utmost importance.

At 10 p.m. you must be
at that cabinet meeting.

That is your mission:

to be there
at exactly 10 p.m.

And then?

And then, Mr. West...

you will deliver a message.

You shall tell them.

Sorry.
Excuse me.

Lily.

Lily Fortune.

Oh, thank you,
fairy godmother.

Oh, what a lovely surprise.
It's been years.

My senior prom,
our last date.

You look
wonderful.

You know, I never recovered
from our last parting.

Ah, the class orator,
the silver-tongued speaker.

You haven't changed a bit.

Well, you have.

It doesn't seem possible,

but you've grown
even more beautiful.

Artemus,
you remember mother.

Vividly.

Mrs. Fortune.

Well, you have
no idea

what seeing your face
does to me.

Mother...

eh, don't you
remember Artemus?

Lily, dear,
you had so many boyfriends.

Which one are you?

The one whose father
was arrested for moonshining?

Uh, no, the thoughtful,
considerate one.

Mother,
you're thinking of -

Oh, you're right.
I remember you now.

You always needed a haircut.

Lippy too.

Surprised you ever
stayed out of jail.

What do you do
for a living?

Well, I'm a...

I'm a special agent

for the United States
government.

How exciting.

Born liar.

As a matter of fact,
I'm on vacation right now.

My private train is standing
in the railroad yards.

I'd love to show it to you.

Would you, uh, like
to come see it now?

Oh, I'd-
I'd love to see-

If Uncle Sam's little
helper will stand aside,

here's our dessert.

I don't care for any
dessert, Mother.

A simple little meal,
a five-course dinner.

Thirty-five cents?
It's outrageous.

Since dessert is included,
we're gonna have some.

I'll take hers too.

Yes, ma'am.

Uh...would you like
to see that now?

I'd be delighted.

Um, go ahead.

And you watch yourself!

Oh, Artemus,
it's lovely.

Well, it's nothing sensational,
but I call it home.

This is all yours?

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

I share it with
my partner, Jim West.

Oh, if I'm ever
a big success,

I'm going to have
a private car like this.

Success?

Why, Lil,
what do you do?

Outside of driving
men wild, I mean.

I'm an actress now.

I'm going to New Orleans soon
to star in a play.

Well, I think that's wonderful.
I used to showboat myself.

Why don't you do
a little scene

with me right now, hm?

Say, uh...

Something
from Romeo and Juliet?

Oh, I must say,
you're a marvelous actress.

Who's acting?

You want to dance
with Carmen, eh?

No, thank you.

You prefer
to dance in private?

Sometimes.

Oh, then I know
a very private place.

I show you.

I must not be detained.

Nobody says no
to Carmen, ever!

That boorish fool
insulted me.

He has no mask
or costume.

And you know
the punishment

decreed by King Neptune
for that.

Good night, gentlemen.

I must not be detained.

Halt.

My name is James West.
I'm a special agent.

I must see the Attorney
General immediately.

I have a message
from the President.

Sergeant of the guard.

So far, so good.

Now comes
the crucial moment.

Only three minutes left.

Ooh.

No time to lose.

Now the sergeant
is questioning him.

Hurry, you fool.
Hurry.

Our Mr. West
did splendidly.

And our task
is done here, Miklos.

Well, Jim West.

What a surprise.

It's all right,
sergeant.

This man is well known
to me personally.

You'll forgive
the security measures.

But with several members
of the cabinet

in attendance
at this meeting...

we can't be
too careful.

I understand,
Mr. Attorney General.

The meeting's right
down the hall, Jim.

Should we go?

You know, just before
you arrived,

we were having
a very good laugh.

There's a woman
in this area.

Very fantastic
creature.

She calls herself
Dr. Faustina.

She wants
a million dollars

from the government
for research.

Imagine. A million

for some medical experiments
with electricity.

I tell you, we must
convince the president

that she is insane.

Really?

Gentlemen,
I have the pleasure

of presenting an old friend,
Mr. James West.

Jim, this is the Secretary
of the Interior,

the Secretary of State,

and the Secretary
of War.

Mr. West is our most trusted
special agent...

and he has a message
from the president.

All right, Jim.

You...

wronged...

Dr...

Faustina.

You know,
she may not show it,

but Mother
really appreciates

your invitation
to travel with you.

Oh, it's nothing.

Sherry?

Thank you.

You know, I always knew

you'd be an important man
someday, Artemus.

Oh. Well...

I suppose that, uh,
talent will show eventually.

This partner of yours-

Jim.
Where is he?

He's off on vacation. Same as I am. Oh.

Um, where were you planning
to spend your vacation?

Oh, no place in particular.

I was just going to go
rambling around.

Oh.

Oh, I think now
I may come down

and see you in that play.

Um...

would you like
to rehearse that love scene

just once more?

That may be Mother now.

No, no, no.
It's just Henrietta.

Who's Henrietta?

Come on.

Henrietta, meet Lil.

Now, then.

Good girl, Henrietta.

Aren't you gonna see
what it says?

Well, what for?

It's probably just
from the president.

The pre-

May I?

Of course.

Who is it from?

The president.

Mm.

"Your leave hereby canceled.
Proceed at once to New Orleans.

Ulysses S. Grant."

New Orleans!

There isn't a word

in the newspaper
about any blast.

I think the whole thing
is a hoax.

Mrs. Fortune,
that kind of information

the government would prefer
to keep quiet for a while.

You mean four cabinet members
getting killed

wouldn't make
big headlines?

It will after we find out
how and why it happened.

Uh, what
fantastic costumes.

Heh. Blackbeard
the pirate.

Artemus Gordon?

Yes.

I am your contact.

I have full instructions
from Washington.

You are to
come with me.

I'm ready.

Oh, no you're not.
You look much too respectable.

You get some
pretty rough treatment

from that crowd outside.

Here is your mask.

Uh...would you ladies
please excuse me?

If you'll take care
of that for me,

I'll come back and pick it up
later at your hotel.

Uh, Mrs. Fortune.

Ladies.

You'll never make me believe
that's a government man.

Uh.

What about Jim?

Will he be working
on this case with me?

I'll get to that later.

Ah, how much do you
know so far?

Only what I read in
the president's telegram.

Blast,
four cabinet members dead.

We've tried to keep it
as quiet as possible.

There's enough rioting
going on as is.

No telling how these crowds
will react to this.

Now, before
we release the news,

we want to get
a complete explanation.

We're counting on you
to give us this.

Why, I appreciate the honor,
but why me?

I'm on a well-earned vacation.
You've got other agents.

Yes, of course we have.

But, uh, you knew West
better than anyone else.

What do you mean knew?
He isn't dead.

I don't believe it.

I won't believe it
until I've seen the body.

That will take a good deal
of looking, I'm afraid.

Unfortunately, he's spread
pretty thinly over the wreckage.

The other bodies
were at least identifiable,

but there was no trace
left of West.

This is why
we're so sure that,

that he was carrying
the bomb.

Look, Mr. Gordon...
I know you liked West,

but you must accept
the fact of his death.

Just, uh...

Just tell me
exactly what happened

from the time Jim got here.

West was recognized
by three of the guard

and by the late
Attorney General,

who personally escorted him

into the conference room
where the blast occurred.

Yeah, but then he got out.

The guard
outside the conference room

lived long enough to tell us
that no one got out.

You should have seen
the inside of the room.

There was only
the one door,

and all the windows
were barred.

It was
a maximum-security room.

West is dead.

Are you trying to
tell me

that he deliberately
blew himself up

to get four
high government officials?

Ahh!

I mean, hardly the sort
of thing you do by accident.

The work of a traitor?

You knew him.

Tell us why.

There is no why,
Mr. Peters.

He didn't do it!

And I'll prove
he didn't do it!

Even if it kills me.

Ah, Miklos.

Ooh, you have brought me
another subject.

Splendid.

I- I don't suppose he's alive.

Oh, well.

But he is a fine specimen.

Where did you
find him, Miklos?

The scars of manacles.
The man was a prisoner.

How did he die?

He- He was hanged?

Then I presume
his crime was murder.

He- He killed a woman?

Oh, how interesting.

Murderers always make
such good subjects.

Their hearts are in
the right place, so to speak.

Hm.

Eh, his neck is broken,
of course.

But we can remedy that.

Tell me, Miklos...what else
do you know about him?

Did he have any relatives?

Any close friends nearby?

Good.

Hm.

Yes, he is quite muscular.

After some of
our treatments,

his strength should be
very impressive.

Uh, how long has he been dead?

Only four hours?
Good.

Then let us prepare at once
for the necessary surgery.

Ooh, yes, he has a large
chest cavity.

Ideal for our purpose.

He should be able
to accommodate

an even larger bomb
than our last subject.

After such a humble end
as hanging...

he should welcome the chance...

to go out with a bang.

Ha-ha.

Oh!

Hot work,
being a princess.

Any luck?

No, not yet.

Hard work, reconstructing
your friend's trail

in this madhouse, isn't it?

Like trying to find
the needle in that haystack

while it's going through
a threshing machine.

Alors, mes amis.
A beautiful princess.

Mwah.

Let us elope with her!
Oh!

Hey! Artie!

Sir...

Sir. Sir- Sir,
I appreciate the nature-

Hey, hey, hey,
come on.

Oh, gentlemen, come on,
this is silly.

Throw him over the rail.

Hey.

No! No, no-

Hyah!

All right, you.
You better talk quick.

What do you know about this?

You were looking
for Jim West.

We were to stop you.

What do you know about him?

Nothing.
I swear, nothing.

Who can tell me?

The carriage driver
on St. Peter Street.

The one in the suit of armor.

Please.

I've got my lead.
Come on.

Ah, there, my noble friend,
don't talk.

Look straight ahead.
Can you feel that?

That's a small derringer,
which makes a very large hole,

and it means I'm in no mood
for quibbling.

Did you have a passenger
named James West?

Can you take me
to the place he came from?

Now, suppose you do that
right now.

One mistake and I'll put a hole
in that tin can you're wearing.

Are we clear?

Really, Mr. Gordon...

you are a very...

persistent man.

So this is how you did it.

Somehow you got West out here
and drugged him

so that he'd follow orders.

Then you strapped a bomb
onto him

and hauled him back
into town.

You are a very brilliant man,
Mr. Gordon...

but I'm afraid
you can't keep a secret.

Now...

Well, what's that for?

Oh, just to keep you
quiet for a while.

I can do that
without help.

I doubt it.

You see, I want to cover
your face with soft clay.

And, uh, there's a tendency
to thrash about...

especially when the breathing
is cut off.

Cover my face
with clay? Why?

To make a mask of you,
of course.

It's a little oddity
of mine.

I like to have a memento
of my- My guests.

Save the needle.
I'll hold still.

But Mr. Gordon...

the clay takes at least
two minutes to set.

I once won a medal
in a breath-holding contest.

Well...I suppose
you can try.

Now...

Now...take a good,
deep breath, Mr. Gordon.

There.

Oh, you are doing magnificently,
Mr. Gordon.

Yes, Miklos,
what is it?

I asked not to be
disturbed.

Oh, Miklos. Miklos.

A letter from the president
of the United States.

The moment we have waited for.

Oh, I'm so excited.

"And so, dear madam,

"I urge you strongly
not to bother me again

"with your impossible requests.

"There can be no federal funds

for such bizarre experiments
as you have described."

There's more here.

He even goes on to suggest
that we may be lunatics.

We, who are the greatest
scientists of this dark age.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
my poor Miklos. Please.

He is stupid.

And he should be made to pay
for his stupidity.

But of course!
Yes!

If the president
were blown up...

then someone with a brain
might assume his office.

And it will be
so easy to arrange.

Mr. Gordon will help us.

Oh, yes. Mr. Gordon.

You are still with us,
Mr. Gordon.

Splendid.

You are going to help us
kill the president.

Artemus?

Artemus?

Mother, do you have
a hairpin?

Lily, don't be
ridiculous.

You just can't go on
doing this-

Well!

Don't take my hair
with you!

Where did you learn
to do that?!

At that expensive girls'
college you sent me to.

Artemus?

Lily, you can't chase
after a man like this.

It- It's not
decent.

Oh, Mother, would you
mind coming in

out of the 18th century?

Artemus is missing.
I've got to find him.

Well! I wouldn't
chase after a man.

That's why you've been
a widow for 20 years.

Yeah.

Well, if you ask me,

he's probably
just run off

to chase after
another pretty ankle.

I told you way back
in high school

he was an undependable sort.

And you told me that Lincoln
would never be president.

Now, just
a minute-

All right,
all right, all right.

Remember, I'm your mother.
This is-

I'm terribly sorry
to frighten you, Mrs. Fortune,

Miss Fortune.

You know us?

We met in the restaurant.
Not formally.

Mr. Gordon
gave me your names.

Blackbeard the pirate.

Lyle Peters,
ma'am.

Oh.

May I ask
what you're doing here?

We're looking for Artemus.
Do you know where he is?

I'm sorry to say we do not.

He was to meet me here
early this morning

and give me
his report.

I've had this place
under surveillance

for several hours.

Now, just a moment.

How do we know that you're
really what you pretend to be?

Oh, ho-ho. Oh, I beg your pardon
for doubting you.

It's perfectly
all right, madam.

It was most astute of you
to demand some sort of proof.

Oh, it was nothing at all.
It's just that-

Oh.

Then it's true
that Artemus Gordon

is really a special agent?

One of our finest.

And we're most concerned
about his disappearance.

Can you help us?

Uh, well- Artemus and I
were at a costume ball

in the French Quarter
last night,

and three men dressed
as musketeers attacked him.

Somebody took a-

A handkerchief
with chloroform

and put it over my face,

and when I awoke...
Artemus was gone.

Miklos. Miklos, a fine
storm is approaching.

We must make
use of it.

Uh, how soon can you
have the equipment ready?

Five minutes?
Good.

Ooh, I'm so
anxious to see

our Mr. Gordon
in action.

Jim!

Well, you don't look
very dead.

I'm not even sick.

What are you
doing here?

Letting you out.

No, I mean how did
you get here?

A few days ago I was
enjoying the Mardi Gras,

someone slipped me
a Mickey, I ended up here.

Completely logical.

Let's go.

Miklos, the straps.

Beautiful!

It's a perfect night
for us!

Hurry, Miklos.

The lightning
arrester.

Good.

The process is
beginning. Come.

That's me.

Who are you?

I don't know.

Then I will
tell you.

Your name is
Artemus Gordon.

My name is
Artemus Gordon.

Yes.

Mr. Gordon...
you owe your life to us,

and you must do
exactly as we say.

Do you
understand?

I must do
exactly as you say.

Now listen to me
closely.

The president has
arrived in New Orleans

to hear reports about
an unfortunate accident.

You will find him in
the federal government building

on Canal street.

Now...time is of
the utmost importance.

You must be with
the president at 10:00.

Kill him! Kill him!

Kill him.

Kill him,
do you hear me?

What are you doing?

You are destroying
everything!

You were gonna
kill him!

Kill him!

Go! Go to the president,
do you hear me? Go!

Miklos,
let us escape!

Uh, thank heaven
the Mardi Gras is over.

I don't think I could have
stood one more night of that.

How was
your rehearsal?

Awful.

How could I concentrate
on that silly play

while Artemus
is still missing?

Heh. Well, look!
There he is now!

Artemus!

I was so worried.

What's wrong?

Why are you
looking at me like that?

I don't know you.

Well, I know you,
you beast.

Oh, no, you don't!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

You can't get away
with that!

Mother!

Are you all right?

I- I told you
way back in high school

that boy was
some sort of a maniac!

Get me out of here!
Will you get me out of here?

We don't have
much time.

Still got a chance.

I hate to bring this up,

but if we catch up
to that walking bomb...

what do we do with it?

I'm working
on that problem.

If you come up with
an answer, let me know.

I must say, I'm surprised
to see you again, Artemus.

We were getting rather
worried about you.

I'm all right.

Have you had a chance

to let Miss Fortune know
that you're safe?

She was moving heaven
and earth to find you.

Miss Fortune?
She means nothing to me.

Ha!

You certainly are
the gay dog

where the ladies
are concerned.

Halt. Show
your credentials.

Surely you know me
by this time.

I'll vouch
for this gentleman.

He's with me.

Sorry, sir, my orders
are to admit no one

without
credentials.

Well, don't be
ridiculous.

This man is
a special agent.

He has a message
for the president.

Sorry, I've got orders.

You'll have to clear it with
the sergeant of the guard.

Oh. Be simpler than
standing here and arguing.

Wait a moment, Artemus.
I'll get your clearance.

Hurry.

I must be with
the president by 10:00.

Hi-ya! Hi-ya!

Hi-ya!

Lily, you were
magnificent!

Ha-ha!

Another Sarah
Bernhardt.

Oh. Thank you.
You're both darlings.

Where's mother?

Uh, gone but
not forgotten.

She, uh...
She left this note.

Gone?

Mm-hm.

"I have eloped
with Mr. Peters."

But- But he's much
too young for her.

Love conquers all.

Uh, speaking
of love, Lil-

Eloped?

I can't believe it.

That's wonderful.

Uh, speaking of
love-

That's marvelous!
Let's celebrate!

Let's.

Um...

speaking of love,
Lil, I-

What Artemus wants to say...

is will you
marry him?

Oh, Artie, you darling!

I love you dearly.

But no.

I- I-I couldn't live
your kind of life.

You'd- You'd always be
disappearing or- Or exploding.

And...I'd never know if I was
kissing you or some bomb.

Well, try me.

See what I mean?