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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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[CELL DOOR SLAMS]
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[THEME SONG PLAYING]
3
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[CELL DOOR SLAMS]
4
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[CELL DOOR SLAMS]
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- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- I can do it.
6
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If I approach with a reasonable
and a health-positive offer,
7
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,437
she can't say no. Right?
8
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,382
Look, I would talk to her for you,
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but I told Badison I'd no longer
be her personal phone case,
10
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,695
so I'm trying to avoid owing favors.
11
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,740
Other than sexual ones
to you, of course.
12
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,185
[PIPER] Maybe her face
is so scrunched up
13
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,271
because you can't move around.
It's too crowded.
14
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Regular physical exercise
releases facial muscles.
15
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I wouldn't lead with that.
But you got this.
16
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:57,491
Ooh, Chapman's a real ringer for me.
17
00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,493
Could be a double-digit
opportunity for both us.
18
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,912
This game isn't as fun as
I thought it would be.
19
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,306
How many points you got?
20
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,851
I haven't really been keeping track.
21
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,438
What the freight train?
You gotta keep track of your points!
22
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,441
[STUTTERS] I'm losing interest.
23
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,401
Unacceptable. Mmm-mmm.
24
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:19,221
Hello. I'm Chapman. I
live on your block.
25
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:21,450
I was wondering if I could
have a minute of your time?
26
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,770
Look, I don't want to
step on anybody's toes,
27
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:31,817
but I recently spoke with the head of
Rec, and we're bringing back kickball.
28
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:37,573
And I was wondering if you or your
colleagues would like to join.
29
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,158
I think it's gonna be a lot of fun.
30
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,993
We're gonna get extra blacktop time,
31
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:45,247
and I also think it will be an
opportunity to get some actual cardio,
32
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,124
because of all of the running bases.
33
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:50,645
- I know what kickball is.
- Of course. Would you like to sign up?
34
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,732
I retired my kickball shoes.
35
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Would it be okay if I asked
some of the other girls?
36
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,158
It's a free country.
37
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,702
Thank you.
38
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:11,708
And if you change your mind,
I'm gonna save a spot for you.
39
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:17,589
Oh!
40
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,991
[SIGHS] Freight train.
41
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,053
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
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00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:30,143
On a scale of one to Derek Jeter,
how much do you hate that cookie?
43
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,629
I don't like her, with her clipboard.
44
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:36,274
No one starts things. I'm the starter.
45
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[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
46
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,780
Mmm.
47
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,199
Why is this powder?
48
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,910
I had to get a little creative.
49
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,187
[SNORTS] Whoa!
50
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,064
[COUGHING]
51
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,166
Creative how?
52
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:57,069
I mighta used a riot girl
to score from C-Block.
53
00:03:57,070 --> 00:04:00,906
Wait. You used my money to line
the pockets of Carol-Block?
54
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,908
Desperate times.
55
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,828
But a temporary stop-gap, 'cause
guess who bagged CO Enders?
56
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:06,871
[LAUGHS]
57
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:09,874
Next week this time, be
back in the pill business.
58
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,042
[CHUCKLES AND SNIFFLES] Enders, huh?
59
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,143
Mmm.
60
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:14,879
How'd you flip her?
61
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:18,233
[CHUCKLING] Shall I hazard a guess?
62
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,177
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
63
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,780
I get it. I get it.
64
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:28,058
I started this business with a rimjob.
[CHUCKLES]
65
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,769
Receiving.
66
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,497
I don't kiss ass, with
or without tongue.
67
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,067
But I have been known to
shove my foot up one.
68
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,921
You wanna bend over for me?
What are you not saying?
69
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,716
She wants 55%.
70
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:47,578
Oh. Oh, okay. Well...
[CHUCKLES] Could be worse.
71
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:51,791
[INHALES DEEPLY]
That extra 20% comes out of your cut.
72
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,668
[SIGHS] Got it.
73
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,337
[SIGHS AND CLEARS THROAT]
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00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:59,107
Come here. Come. Come here.
75
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:03,486
[SNIFFLING] Mmm-hmm. Mmm. Mmm.
76
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,405
Hi.
77
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,850
I don't like it when I
have to be the bad fly.
78
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,036
[CHUCKLES]
79
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:15,165
Guy. Lady. [CHUCKLES]
80
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,251
What do you say we rewind, huh?
81
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,884
This is where you fucking say,
"Yes, ma'am."
82
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,928
Yes. I got you.
83
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,163
Ma'am!
84
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,206
Jesus!
85
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:35,602
Oh, my God! What are
the flies doing here?
86
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:39,296
I told Tonya to close the
lid on the Dumpster.
87
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,507
[INHALES DEEPLY] Did she clock out?
88
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,443
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
89
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,224
What did you take?
90
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,160
[GRUNTING]
91
00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:53,870
Do you have more?
92
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,438
[GROANING]
93
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,334
- [BONE CLICKS]
- My elbow is clicking. You hear that?
94
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:03,028
Wait. Is your elbow emitting
a high-pitched ringing
95
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,489
not unlike that of a tuning fork?
96
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,588
'Cause that's the
only sound I'm hearing.
97
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:09,785
It's like The Addams
Family theme song.
98
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,453
♪ Doo-be-doo-bee, click, click ♪
99
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,973
♪ Doo-be-doo-bee, click, click ♪
100
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,792
I guess we are dialed in
to different stations.
101
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,919
Thanks to you, those thugs
fucked up my hinge joint
102
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,422
and I can't get that fucking
song out of my head.
103
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:25,151
Oh, shit! You know what song I'm
thinkin' about now? [GRUNTS]
104
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:29,972
♪ The knee bone's connected to the ♪
♪ Leave-me-the-fuck-alone bone ♪
105
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,766
I know your head hurts and all,
106
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,019
but you did get to stare
into my cave of wonders.
107
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,520
So, you're welcome.
108
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:40,608
Well, I guess the gratitude part
of my brain must've been damaged
109
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:44,153
when a bookshelf got slammed onto
my head, because I was helping you.
110
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:47,573
On your feet, Flores.
Your staycation from gen pop is up.
111
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,074
- The fuck?
- Oh!
112
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:52,870
The doctor said to ice my
ribs and rest for 72 hours.
113
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,288
And I have this click.
114
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:55,956
A new patient needs the bed,
115
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,958
and you're the least
likely to die, so come on.
116
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,711
Oh, please, God, let the
new girl be in a coma.
117
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,255
I haven't had my
after-breakfast pudding.
118
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,050
This ain't the Best Value Inn.
Check out is now.
119
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,718
Come on. You need help gettin' up?
120
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,637
[STUTTERS] Don't touch.
121
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:10,780
[SIGHS]
122
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,558
Oh, no! No!
123
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,268
I see how it is now.
124
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:21,065
You kick out someone from C-Block
so a deplorable can get the bed.
125
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:24,777
You outsource our jobs and
repeal our healthcare?
126
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,671
[BARBARA] Go away! Go away!
127
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,490
No. No! No!
128
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,450
- Should I call Burch for a Psych consult?
- Help!
129
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,868
[DOCTOR] No. She's high as a kite.
130
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,828
Let's see how she's doing
when she comes down.
131
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,956
Strap her tightly. Let her ride it out.
132
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:40,125
Please, you cannot put this
squawking chicken next to me, man.
133
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,836
I have a migraine. I need sleep.
134
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:43,796
Good luck with that.
135
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,232
- [BARBARA] Please help me! No!
- Calm down. It's okay!
136
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,651
[GROANING CONTINUES]
137
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,222
[FIG] Can I get a fucking towel, please?
138
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,407
Give me a sec.
139
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,786
Towels. Towels. Towels.
140
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,271
I just gotta remember
where I packed them.
141
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:04,441
How about this one? The one with
"towels" written on it in Sharpie?
142
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,444
And it's full of books. Of course.
143
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,113
I got the boxes used.
144
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,824
[GROANS] Joe, you could
have fuckin' relabeled.
145
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,866
Why?
146
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,244
I'll know it's books because it's heavy.
147
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:18,973
Also, when I open it up, I'll see books.
148
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,296
You didn't pull away.
149
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,966
I haven't had my coffee.
My reflexes are compromised.
150
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,968
I am soaked. Find me a towel.
151
00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,487
You're comfortable here.
152
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,406
Binge-watching Younger.
153
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,993
Reading Nordic noir in bed.
154
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,562
You take your bra off the
second you walk in the door.
155
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,772
- The ladies like to breathe.
- You see?
156
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,858
I'm finally getting to
see the real Natalie.
157
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,651
It was more convenient to stay here
158
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:50,421
than to commute back and
forth to Albany every day.
159
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:55,868
You've been seen sitting across
from me while I eat in public.
160
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,161
Once at a Five Guys.
161
00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:58,579
Relax.
162
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:02,666
It's like the last days of camp
where everyone becomes best friends
163
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:06,420
and vows to stay in touch forever.
It'll wear off a week after you're gone.
164
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:08,690
Speaking of, wasn't that
supposed to be today?
165
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,258
I have one more thing to do.
166
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:15,179
And I need that shirt.
The rest are in one of these boxes.
167
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,656
One more thing?
168
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,853
Let's do something special
before I leave Monday.
169
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,646
Properly mark the occasion.
170
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:27,483
You are such a delicate flower.
171
00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:30,235
I was thinking something
like a quickie in the garden
172
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,279
at the FDR Presidential Library?
173
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,156
You so have been saving that up.
174
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,325
Since 11th-grade US history.
175
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,786
[CHUCKLES] It's on my fucket list.
176
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,871
[CHUCKLING]
177
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,665
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Let me ask you something.
178
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:47,437
Does this hair say
"wrongfully accused" to you?
179
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:52,257
Mmm. That hair right there be sayin',
180
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:56,762
"Moisturize my ends.
Please, Lord! Shea butter my shit."
181
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,347
[CHUCKLES]
182
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,743
Why aren't you laughing?
That's funny, talkin' hair.
183
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:05,270
Come on. I gotta get loose for my show.
184
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,497
Ey! Ey!
185
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,274
- [SIGHS]
- Your hair is fine.
186
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,609
I don't know why I'm so nervous.
187
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,403
I mean, Sylvia says I'm not
even gonna be on camera.
188
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:15,155
'Cause your face would break it.
189
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,966
[LAUGHING]
190
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:18,951
I'm sorry.
191
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,221
That was low-hangin' fruit.
You right. My bad.
192
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,413
Wait.
193
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,874
I thought you was done with
interviews after the last one?
194
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:28,502
What you tryin' to do?
Piss off the guards at every prison?
195
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,087
It ain't an interview.
196
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:33,233
All right?
I have a trial deposition tomorrow.
197
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,861
I thought that wasn't for months?
198
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,035
[SIGHS HEAVILY] No, man.
Caputo is moving,
199
00:10:40,048 --> 00:10:42,099
so they wanna get his testimony now.
200
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,370
And he agreed to be a character
witness and say nice things about me.
201
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:49,290
Like how I am not a murderer.
202
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:50,941
Shit.
203
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:55,279
And how I don't... [SIGHS]
deserve the death penalty.
204
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,572
[GROANS]
205
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:57,924
[WINCES]
206
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,758
Are you okay?
207
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,012
Yeah. I'm fine. Just...
208
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,165
My back has been hurting lately.
209
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,626
Probably 'cause of them
concrete beds in Ad Seg.
210
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,128
Might've pinched a nerve.
211
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:15,507
Vee used to lay on her back with,
like, books under her head.
212
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,610
Said it aligned the spine.
213
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:22,031
- Yeah. Yeah, I could try that.
- [TAYSTEE SIGHS]
214
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,242
- Yeah.
- [SIGHS]
215
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,670
Can I have one of those?
216
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,364
- I don't know what you're talkin' about.
- [SIGHS]
217
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,366
Yo, I got jumped for you, remember?
218
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,534
[SIGHS]
219
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,970
I still got pain.
220
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:47,140
Trust me, you don't want this.
221
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,208
These are some bath salts
from three years ago.
222
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,771
Sent four girls to Psych before
we got it off the market.
223
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,190
Is that why Barb's in Medical?
224
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,926
You were trying to kill her?
225
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,737
[SIGHS] Nah.
226
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,615
Barb's a genuine addict.
She can handle the punch.
227
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,393
[SIGHS] I'm just trying
to buy some time is all.
228
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:11,605
She gets a little R&R in medical.
And I get some time to think.
229
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,291
That's some Iago shit.
230
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,776
You know, the bird from Aladdin?
231
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:16,735
You don't get it.
232
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,029
Druggie Barb wants to have me killed.
233
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,447
Sober Barb will do it.
234
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,074
You sound paranoid and shit.
235
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,886
This morning, I caught my roommate
messing with my toothpaste.
236
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,454
Damn. That's some messed-up shit.
237
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:28,556
[SIGHS]
238
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:34,586
I'll get Barb's habit covered with
what CO Enders smuggles in, but...
239
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,338
it's not enough for the whole block.
240
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,774
[SIGHS]
241
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,193
I got no more ideas.
242
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:43,804
I maybe have an idea.
243
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:44,905
Hmm?
244
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,075
I already smuggled in jizz.
245
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,201
Jizz?
246
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,537
[CLICKS TONGUE]
247
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,332
[SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
248
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,505
All right, we're gonna
take it to the left.
249
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,866
- She said left, stupid.
- I went left.
250
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,678
This is left. See? "L" for left.
251
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,496
I'm confused.
252
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:13,709
Ladies! Let's control our bodies
and remember the dancer's space.
253
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:16,837
Otherwise, accidents happen and
you end up dancing from a chair.
254
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,506
I won't apologize for
connecting to the music.
255
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:22,300
Which is why it's important
to maintain proper form.
256
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:26,555
So that when you are out and the
no-touching rule don't apply,
257
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,598
you can carry on with a partner.
258
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:29,700
[CHUCKLES]
259
00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:32,411
You know what? Hold on.
260
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,438
[CHUCKLES] Oh, okay.
261
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,624
Okay. Put your arms like this.
Let's go.
262
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,652
Oh, wow. Okay. See?
263
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,156
Nobody wants to see you flapping around
like a balloon at a car dealership.
264
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,534
But if you take ownership
of your personal space...
265
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,578
- Okay, relax. Okay?
- Okay.
266
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,180
Just being a man is half of it.
267
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,957
Okay, tuck those hips in.
268
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,168
In, under, okay?
269
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,270
Let's go.
270
00:13:58,421 --> 00:13:59,588
That's right.
271
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,440
Tuck it in. Tuck it in.
272
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,151
See the difference?
273
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,904
Very good.
274
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,449
Yes, move those hips, too.
Move the hips.
275
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:14,579
- There you go! Luschek!
- [CHUCKLING]
276
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,755
Oh, it's, uh...
I think the song's skipping.
277
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,407
All right. That's how it goes.
278
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,093
Now I'm really confused.
279
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,161
[GLORIA] Oh, my goodness.
280
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:34,765
Okay. Let's, um...
let's see those moves.
281
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:44,901
It takes some getting used to.
The phone and the glass.
282
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,903
Just like the movies, Ma.
283
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:52,349
It's so good to see you.
Thank you for coming, Vasya.
284
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:55,060
- I'm sorry I didn't come earlier.
- No, it's fine.
285
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,013
You're here now.
That's what's important.
286
00:14:57,026 --> 00:15:01,400
- Hmm.
- How is Yuri? And Maxsim?
287
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,528
They didn't want to visit their
mamochka in the big house? Hmm?
288
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,446
Well, no, Yuri's good.
289
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:09,282
He got a trucking job
with Salon Du Chocolat.
290
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:13,286
He's gotta drive at night when it's
cool or else the nougat melts.
291
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,664
- [CHUCKLES]
- So he sleeps during the day.
292
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,666
He got Maxsim a job.
They're always on the road.
293
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,127
As long as they are
working, that is good.
294
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,044
Yeah.
295
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:25,173
[IN RUSSIAN] Without work, one
cannot pull a fish out of a pond.
296
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,880
[IN ENGLISH] Once they
get on their feet,
297
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:28,343
they'll make time for their mother.
298
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,570
You could all come together.
299
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,431
Maybe bring the grandbabies.
300
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:35,142
They're old enough to
make the drive now, huh?
301
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,243
Mmm.
302
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,206
And your father? He is good, too?
303
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,525
Yeah, Pop's fine.
304
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:47,446
I stay with him every once in a
while, but he's barely, uh...
305
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,114
He is also working?
306
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:53,135
[STUTTERS] No. Actually, no, Ma.
He doesn't have a job right now.
307
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,955
Why didn't he come with you?
Is he sick?
308
00:15:56,956 --> 00:16:01,185
No, he's okay.
He's got his colitis, but he's okay.
309
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,523
Did you not tell him I'm
ready to see him again?
310
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,901
I told him, Ma. But, um...
311
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,946
I don't think he's ready to see you.
312
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,865
What do you mean?
313
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:21,914
Ma, he's... he's seeing someone.
314
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,691
A woman.
315
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,168
I don't know. I think he's happy.
316
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,963
[CHUCKLES] Oh, Jesus.
317
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:30,756
Fuck.
318
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:36,453
[GASPS] Oh, so that's why no one
has fucking come to see me.
319
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:39,473
Because you're all covering for
your father's wandering pecker.
320
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:45,253
[IN RUSSIAN] Love is not potatoes.
You cannot throw it out a window.
321
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:49,942
[IN ENGLISH] But he's still married. I
did not raise you to look the other way.
322
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:54,054
Ma, you cut him out.
You cut all of us out.
323
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,013
What did you expect?
324
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,891
I expected him to stay
true to his marriage vows.
325
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,809
[IN RUSSIAN]
"Endure, and you'll fall in love."
326
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,581
[IN ENGLISH] That was
the romantic proverb
327
00:17:01,594 --> 00:17:03,104
he pledged to me on our wedding day.
328
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:07,317
You see, this is why no one
comes to visit you. Okay?
329
00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:10,028
To be lectured by Old Country maxims.
330
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,989
You put this glass between us, Ma.
331
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,593
You. No one else. You did it.
332
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,682
[CRYING]
333
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,004
[DAYANARA] You look nice.
334
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,089
Who's the sucker?
335
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,941
I don't need no man to look nice.
336
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,426
It's for my self-esteem and shit.
337
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,221
You gotta envision the life you
want and then manifest it.
338
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,014
So cheetah print is your vision?
339
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:39,432
[SIGHS]
340
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,726
You wanna be a rug in
some Saudi guy's house?
341
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,603
First of all, it's leopard.
342
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,439
And like a leopard, I'm
fucking adaptable.
343
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,818
Leopards learn to drag
their prey into the
344
00:17:48,831 --> 00:17:50,932
trees so that the lions can't get it.
345
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:55,240
Margarita's real into
nature documentaries.
346
00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:57,175
Thought you were
getting your own place.
347
00:17:57,188 --> 00:17:58,272
I'm working on it.
348
00:17:58,869 --> 00:17:59,953
Shit's expensive.
349
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,413
They want first and last month,
350
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,915
plus a security deposit,
plus a fucking broker's fee.
351
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,851
And it gotta be a
three-bedroom for the kids.
352
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:12,149
Look, I maybe got an idea that could
help you get them back faster.
353
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,778
You got any of Cesar's old connects?
354
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,866
We just gotta get around Lassie.
355
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,603
I heard if you dip your
underwear in coyote piss,
356
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,729
you can mask the smell.
357
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:28,440
What are you talking, mija?
I gotta wear underwear now?
358
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:31,502
Yeah, 'cause you're gonna be sticking...
359
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,487
up your...
360
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:37,532
And then you're gonna stash it in
that visitor's bathroom, and I...
361
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,285
Are you fucking crazy?
362
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,120
You want me to end up
back in there with you?
363
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,122
They're my family, too.
364
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,750
You can't leave them in foster care.
You said you needed money.
365
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,543
I'm getting money.
366
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,129
I'm killing it with the
Nutri Herbal shit.
367
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,507
I'm about to make Captain's Club and
get a three-day cruise to St. Thomas.
368
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:57,218
- That's bullshit and you know it.
- No. You're bullshit.
369
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,446
[SIGHS]
370
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:02,390
I'm like a leopard.
I learn from my mistakes.
371
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,786
And I ain't gonna let no lion
take away my second chance.
372
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:13,318
We're back with our new advice
segment, Asking for a Friend.
373
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:17,197
"Dear AFAF, I changed my
whole life for this person.
374
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:22,410
I dyed my hair blonde, became a lesbian
and got a tattoo of my lover's name."
375
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,287
Okay, I see the problem.
376
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:28,958
Okay, my advice is never get
a tattoo of a lover's name.
377
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:32,921
Also, never use the word "lover."
378
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:36,049
I mean, have we learned
nothing from Angelina Jolie?
379
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,927
Or Nick Cannon?
[CHUCKLING] Or Johnny Depp?
380
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:43,014
I mean, just because you change
your tattoo to say "Wino Forever,"
381
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,934
doesn't mean we won't remember
it once said "Winona."
382
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:50,372
[GASPS] Johnny Depp was knockin'
cowboy boots with Wynonna Judd?
383
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,693
Hmm, love can build a bridge.
384
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:59,030
Only acceptable name to tattoo
on your body is your mother's.
385
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,491
But, like, don't do that.
That's weird.
386
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:05,745
Um, just stick to, like, shooting stars
for luck or, like, Bauhaus lyrics.
387
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,389
[GROANING SOFTLY]
388
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,058
[SIGHS]
389
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,752
BRB with more
straight-talk-a from Flaca.
390
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,063
And your girl, Tova.
391
00:20:14,664 --> 00:20:15,746
[GROANS]
392
00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:18,091
God, can you, like,
come up here, please?
393
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:21,386
My back is jacked. This the only
way the pain is less than seven.
394
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,721
You should get that checked out.
395
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:27,183
No. I am done with prison
doctors after Gyno Glenn.
396
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:29,436
Don't be comin' at me
with your judgy face,
397
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,812
gripin' 'bout a yeast infection
398
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,398
when it ain't my choice to
wear polyester panties.
399
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,818
It's like I'm talking to nobody.
I can't find any kind of flow.
400
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:40,631
This segment is a dud anyway.
It's killing our comedy.
401
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,825
No. We're helping people.
402
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:48,556
Writing letters when you got no
other option is cathartic and shit.
403
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,960
It's like going to
confession with a priest,
404
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,646
except no one's gonna molest you.
405
00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:00,008
They're everywhere.
406
00:21:00,009 --> 00:21:02,152
They're fucking everywhere.
407
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:06,848
Please! Please! Please.
408
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,767
They're gonna eat my face off.
409
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,871
- Oh, my God. Okay. Okay.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]
410
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,689
- Who are they?
- The flies.
411
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,108
Hmm. And how do you know
they're gonna eat you?
412
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,713
They told me, with their
little tiny hand-rubbing.
413
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,240
Excuse me.
414
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:27,494
I was recently appointed the
Lord of the Flies. Okay?
415
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:30,121
So I happen to know that
they're vegetarian.
416
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,433
Exactly. I'm a carrot.
417
00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:36,520
Okay. Well, that's useful
information. Thank you.
418
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:41,549
You see that giant
green frog over there?
419
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,759
[GASPS] Huh.
420
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,028
[NICKY] By the plant?
421
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:48,348
[GASPS] Look! The frog ate him.
422
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:50,117
- [LAUGHING]
- Oh!
423
00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:52,202
Merci beaucoup, Mr. Frog.
424
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,980
May I call you Edward Sutton Weaver III?
425
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,291
Oui.
426
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,026
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
427
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:02,588
Cool. [SIGHS]
428
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,907
- [GASPS] What if they come back?
- Yeah.
429
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:08,201
[STUTTERS] They can't
find you if you're quiet.
430
00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:10,554
They have five eyes.
431
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:15,291
All right. Look, don't worry.
I'm gonna guide you out of the swamp.
432
00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:16,417
Okay.
433
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:20,272
First, let's crouch down, okay?
Real low.
434
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:25,778
[WHISPERING] Lower. Lower.
435
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,972
Thank you so much for helping me.
436
00:22:28,973 --> 00:22:32,034
[SHUSHES] No fly zone.
437
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:34,078
[MOUTHING] Thank you.
438
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,916
[IN SPANISH] This weird thing
happened with Luschek in class.
439
00:22:39,608 --> 00:22:42,086
Weird? [SCOFFS] Luschek?
440
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,421
- Go on...
- Well...
441
00:22:44,989 --> 00:22:48,467
You know how fear makes
Luschek, you know?
442
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:52,429
[IN ENGLISH] Oh, yeah.
I heard about the Chapo. Yeah.
443
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:57,101
Would you describe me as, um... scary?
444
00:22:58,252 --> 00:23:00,295
No, not really. Like, Mom scary.
445
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:02,797
Like, I-don't-wanna-disappoint-you
scary.
446
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:05,425
[IN SPANISH] But I don't think
he got hard because of that.
447
00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:07,277
[GRUNTING]
448
00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:10,989
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
449
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:15,685
At the time of this boner...
450
00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:17,329
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
451
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:19,915
[IN ENGLISH] where was his crotch?
452
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:24,986
Well, it was, like, grinding
into my right thigh.
453
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:28,072
[IN SPANISH] But it was a teachable
moment for the purpose of dance.
454
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,299
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
455
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:32,285
This wasn't a fear boner.
456
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:35,496
[IN ENGLISH] That was a boner-boner.
[CHUCKLES] Luschek is into you.
457
00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:37,665
[SCOFFS AND SIGHS]
458
00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:40,835
Oh, damn. The food is here.
[IN SPANISH] Let's get you back down.
459
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:41,919
[IN ENGLISH] No.
460
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,882
[IN SPANISH] Doc prescribed Midol
and not getting my ass beat again.
461
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:47,800
Better to stay here
462
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:51,888
till someone else fucks up and
those bitches forget about me.
463
00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:52,989
Wait.
464
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:57,017
[IN ENGLISH] Blues did this to you?
465
00:23:59,355 --> 00:24:00,980
[SIGHS] All right.
466
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,399
Point those bitches out. I'll...
467
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,776
[IN SPANISH] For what?
468
00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,862
End up with undiagnosed
internal bleeding, too?
469
00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:09,864
Nah, that's stupid.
470
00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:11,975
[IN ENGLISH] I can go on
six days without eating.
471
00:24:11,988 --> 00:24:13,284
That's how I won my first car.
472
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,095
You need to tell a guard or something.
473
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:16,788
[IN SPANISH] Who?
474
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:19,641
The one that beats Daya or
the one that beats Taystee?
475
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:21,959
[IN ENGLISH] Must be someone
476
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,396
who doesn't buy into this
alphabet war bullshit.
477
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,151
[SCOFFS] If I had your
ass, I would ask Luschek.
478
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:32,428
[IN SPANISH] But I got my Tia Mirna's.
479
00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:34,782
[IN ENGLISH]
Everybody has their superpowers.
480
00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:39,328
Ay, you stupid.
481
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:42,188
[BLANCA WINCES AND EXHALES]
482
00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:43,523
I need 16 signatures
483
00:24:43,524 --> 00:24:46,734
in order for Luschek to open the
yard for kickball practice.
484
00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:50,714
I canvassed the block all day
and I have three signatures.
485
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,050
Three!
486
00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:56,744
One of which is Beth the Babykiller.
487
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:58,996
Which is too long of a name
to put on a kickball jersey.
488
00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:02,750
I'll sign up. That makes four.
Quarter way there.
489
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,686
I already forged your signature.
490
00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:07,839
We're engaged. It's legal.
491
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,967
[CHUCKLES] You seem to forget
that I have a busted shoulder.
492
00:25:10,968 --> 00:25:12,677
Might not be much
help in the outfield.
493
00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:14,929
I thought that you could
be designated kicker,
494
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:18,725
which means I'm actually short 14 spots.
495
00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:22,746
Kickball is classic childhood fun.
Why doesn't anybody wanna play?
496
00:25:23,272 --> 00:25:25,582
Guys? I'm asking you.
497
00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:28,794
Come on, Dwight?
498
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:33,173
You look like you've... seen sports.
499
00:25:33,741 --> 00:25:37,410
It's not really a great time for me to
be in the vicinity of flying balls.
500
00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:38,971
[CHUCKLING]
501
00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:40,681
Balls.
502
00:25:41,165 --> 00:25:42,599
And what's your excuse?
503
00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:46,395
Okay. That's fair.
504
00:25:48,756 --> 00:25:51,799
Oh, man, white girl, I would join,
505
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,719
but I am swamped with
Salsa Fitness by Gloria.
506
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,889
I gotta make lesson plans, come
up with new eight-counts...
507
00:25:57,890 --> 00:26:01,225
Everybody is complaining about
the loss of these cheese jobs
508
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:02,310
and having nothing to do,
509
00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:05,605
so I offer a little bit of
extra time in the open air...
510
00:26:05,606 --> 00:26:08,900
Well, open air barely visible
through a slatted roof.
511
00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:11,211
Organized sports are
nature's anti-depressants.
512
00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:13,505
Remind me why you give a shit, Pipes.
513
00:26:14,281 --> 00:26:16,925
Because this place sucks.
514
00:26:17,576 --> 00:26:21,078
At night, we're locked in a
box, which is locked in a cage,
515
00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:23,008
which is locked in a
windowless compound,
516
00:26:23,021 --> 00:26:24,904
and I cannot do anything
to change that.
517
00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:33,066
But I can reinstate kickball.
518
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:39,764
A small, tiny thing that will
make this place suck less.
519
00:26:39,765 --> 00:26:42,743
Both while I'm here and
for those who come after.
520
00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:46,914
That's actually really nice.
521
00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:49,273
Maybe you could try tetherball?
522
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:53,462
[CHUCKLES] It doesn't matter what I
choose. Nobody's going to sign up.
523
00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:56,840
- I bet Badison's behind this.
- [BADISON LAUGHS]
524
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:59,492
She's marking her territory
all over my stuff.
525
00:26:59,493 --> 00:27:02,262
Maybe nobody's signing up
because of this, uh, gang shit.
526
00:27:02,913 --> 00:27:06,207
This block system is totally insane.
527
00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:09,877
I mean, we're supposed to bow
down to those mousey bitches?
528
00:27:09,878 --> 00:27:13,965
Be all C-Block ride or die, no reasons?
[TSKS]
529
00:27:13,966 --> 00:27:17,718
That's how Max operates.
Gangs run this place.
530
00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:19,446
Personally, I like having a team.
531
00:27:20,013 --> 00:27:23,158
- You know what is all about teams?
- Please don't say the word "kickball."
532
00:27:23,892 --> 00:27:26,435
It ain't a team if they're
attacking their own.
533
00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:27,562
Ask Blanca.
534
00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:30,773
This is like how they tame
elephants to stay in a box.
535
00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:32,984
First, they tie them with a
rope when they're babies.
536
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:34,870
And then by the time
they're fully grown,
537
00:27:34,883 --> 00:27:36,767
you can keep them in
there with a string.
538
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:44,346
They also savagely beat
them with bullhooks.
539
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:48,040
I'm not sure how applicable
that is to this situation.
540
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:50,727
You know what? Busted nose is right.
541
00:27:51,837 --> 00:27:54,505
Gangs trick you into feeling
like you got no other option,
542
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:55,983
but we each got our own power.
543
00:27:57,259 --> 00:28:02,013
Chapman, you wanna make kickball happen?
Make kickball happen.
544
00:28:02,014 --> 00:28:04,533
These aren't the only
bitches in this prison.
545
00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:06,535
Break the string.
546
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:13,917
[FLACA] Good morning, Maxinistas!
547
00:28:14,818 --> 00:28:17,320
Oh! Whoa!
548
00:28:17,321 --> 00:28:19,864
Got a whole stack of
letters to get through.
549
00:28:19,865 --> 00:28:24,327
[SCOFFS] My girl Flaca was right.
Y'all got hella problems.
550
00:28:24,328 --> 00:28:27,163
And, uh, we must be some
kind of advice goddesses.
551
00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:28,724
- [FLACA] Mmm-hmm.
- Hmm.
552
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:31,727
This one looks interesting.
553
00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:38,466
"Dear Asking for a Friend, me and
my friend got caught up in a thing.
554
00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:43,113
I lied to protect myself and now
my friend is going down for it.
555
00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:49,828
The guilt is killing me.
It's giving me stomach aches.
556
00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:53,999
I think I might have an ulcer.
What should I do?"
557
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,026
- [BREATHES HEAVILY]
- Wow.
558
00:28:57,027 --> 00:29:00,196
That's, like, a real pickle
for our poor letter-writer.
559
00:29:00,197 --> 00:29:02,507
[CHUCKLES] I got this one, Tova.
560
00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:05,177
Speak on it, sis.
561
00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,804
I got a best friend.
562
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:12,059
She's in a facility 1,500 miles away,
563
00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,771
and I think about her every day.
[CHUCKLES]
564
00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:19,465
I think about her when
I'm putting on my makeup
565
00:29:19,466 --> 00:29:21,717
and when I'm taking off my makeup
566
00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:25,322
and when I'm thinking about
what makeup I'm gonna do.
567
00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:28,617
'Cause that's what friends do.
568
00:29:30,269 --> 00:29:31,912
But this letter-writer?
569
00:29:32,729 --> 00:29:34,498
She's a traitor and a hater.
570
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:37,275
You need to take blame for what you did.
571
00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:40,528
[STUTTERS] Well, no, I really
don't think she did something.
572
00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:42,655
She said she lied about something.
573
00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:43,990
Yeah, "lied." [SCOFFS]
574
00:29:43,991 --> 00:29:47,201
Lied about being a person
capable of friendship,
575
00:29:47,202 --> 00:29:50,075
and now her stomach acid is
punishing her because...
576
00:29:50,088 --> 00:29:51,539
uh, she's a selfish bitch.
577
00:29:51,540 --> 00:29:53,624
Whoa, whoa. Language.
578
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:55,376
"Bitch" is fine.
579
00:29:55,377 --> 00:29:57,211
Betty White said it on Hot in Cleveland.
580
00:29:57,212 --> 00:29:58,546
[SIGHS]
581
00:29:58,547 --> 00:30:00,131
[FLACA] If I met this letter-writer,
582
00:30:00,132 --> 00:30:03,360
I'd say, "There are two things
I don't like about you.
583
00:30:04,303 --> 00:30:06,846
- Your face..."
- Well, sass it down a notch.
584
00:30:06,847 --> 00:30:09,707
Well, this writer should
suffocate herself
585
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,101
for making the world a worse place.
586
00:30:12,102 --> 00:30:13,245
Ow!
587
00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:16,373
What the hell?
588
00:30:16,857 --> 00:30:18,041
[SIGHS]
589
00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:21,193
You understand that
everything you say here today
590
00:30:21,194 --> 00:30:25,173
is under oath and will be recorded
and may be used during trial?
591
00:30:25,782 --> 00:30:27,342
I do.
592
00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:30,578
Please state your full
name for the court record.
593
00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:32,788
Joseph Salvatore Caputo.
594
00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:36,417
Mr. Caputo, can you describe the
nature of your relationship
595
00:30:36,418 --> 00:30:38,627
with the defendant, Ms. Tasha Jefferson?
596
00:30:38,628 --> 00:30:41,255
Ms. Jefferson was an
inmate under my care
597
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:43,049
at the Litchfield
Correctional Institution.
598
00:30:43,050 --> 00:30:44,860
And you were warden of this facility?
599
00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:49,180
[STUTTERS] Technically, the
director of human activity
600
00:30:49,181 --> 00:30:51,307
but that's corporate speak.
601
00:30:51,308 --> 00:30:56,413
Ms. Jefferson was also assigned work
duty as my secretarial assistant.
602
00:30:57,314 --> 00:30:59,815
Personally chosen by me, I might add,
603
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:03,003
due to her placing first
in our mock jobs fair.
604
00:31:04,029 --> 00:31:06,989
How would you describe
your working relationship?
605
00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:08,675
I'd say she was an excellent assistant.
606
00:31:09,409 --> 00:31:11,369
She was very dedicated to her job.
607
00:31:11,370 --> 00:31:15,915
Easy to motivate, amenable
to criticism. [SIGHS]
608
00:31:15,916 --> 00:31:19,627
Stubborn, but a great attitude.
609
00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:21,837
[CHUCKLING] She dropped her
fair share of phone calls,
610
00:31:21,838 --> 00:31:26,443
but, in her defense, the phones
could be tricky at Litchfield.
611
00:31:27,177 --> 00:31:29,070
We had a good working relationship.
612
00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,074
[UPBEAT SONG PLAYING OVER RADIO]
613
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:37,353
You ever been to Farmer Cubana?
614
00:31:37,354 --> 00:31:40,665
They have the most incredible
pulled pork sandwich.
615
00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:42,501
It's 9:00 a.m.
616
00:31:42,943 --> 00:31:46,153
[SCOFFS] That's the beauty of brunch.
If you can have French toast at 2:00,
617
00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:49,073
you can have barbeque in
the morning, you know.
618
00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:50,241
Not a brunch person, or...
619
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:54,036
I read you should only eat fruit
before 11:00 for the digestion.
620
00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:55,496
Hmm.
621
00:31:55,497 --> 00:31:58,749
[GASPS] Uh, I know this other place.
It's called Urban Soul.
622
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:04,088
They have this live bluegrass trio,
they're amazing, and bottomless mimosas.
623
00:32:04,089 --> 00:32:05,732
That don't sound fun to me.
624
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:11,470
[STUTTERS] Uh, we could go to Costco.
We get a rotisserie chicken
625
00:32:11,471 --> 00:32:13,764
and check out the free Eagles
cover band in the park.
626
00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:16,159
I don't like none of those things.
627
00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:21,355
Come on, I mean, it's...
I have the whole day off.
628
00:32:21,356 --> 00:32:25,651
What do you normally do on the weekends?
You know, with your boyfriends?
629
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:30,197
Ain't no weekends when you're in sales.
Saturday is my biggest day.
630
00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:32,801
People finally home to open their doors.
631
00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:36,137
What if I bought what you
make on a typical Saturday?
632
00:32:38,915 --> 00:32:41,500
- Four cases.
- [SCOFFS] Deal.
633
00:32:41,501 --> 00:32:45,021
I meant five. And you gotta pay for
Sunday, too, 'cause of the commute.
634
00:32:46,882 --> 00:32:47,983
All right.
635
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:53,655
If you're hungry, I know a place
that makes amazing mofongo.
636
00:32:54,514 --> 00:32:57,033
- Mofongo? [LAUGHS]
- Mofongo. You're gonna love it.
637
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:01,997
[INDISTINCT YELLING]
638
00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:06,317
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
639
00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:08,527
Pendejo, you couldn't
give me another minute?
640
00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:10,070
Yeah, you're a real gentleman, huh?
641
00:33:10,071 --> 00:33:12,406
Yo, be careful with my shit, bro.
642
00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:13,699
Where the hell you been?
643
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:15,743
I've been callin' you all night.
644
00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:16,911
Is that my shirt?
645
00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:19,497
You pissed it's not on the
sidewalk with all your other shit?
646
00:33:19,498 --> 00:33:21,457
If you'd paid your half, it wouldn't be.
647
00:33:21,458 --> 00:33:24,853
The landlord sent his wife this
time, so I couldn't jerk him off.
648
00:33:25,420 --> 00:33:26,879
My mom's on her way with a U-Haul,
649
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,507
but she got wedged under a bridge,
she gotta wait for a tow truck.
650
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,050
I don't wanna live with your mother.
651
00:33:31,051 --> 00:33:33,278
[CHUCKLES] Good, 'cause
you're not invited.
652
00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:38,116
My moms don't trust women.
You gotta find somewhere else.
653
00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:41,911
Yo, be careful with my shit.
654
00:33:43,396 --> 00:33:45,105
Don't just stand there.
655
00:33:45,106 --> 00:33:48,108
Ain't you never seen
somebody be evicted before?
656
00:33:48,109 --> 00:33:50,837
Go get boxes and donuts.
657
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:55,008
[SIGHS]
658
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:05,084
I'm so happy you decided to come.
659
00:34:05,085 --> 00:34:09,505
I'm telling you, it's lovely to be
around people who don't judge you.
660
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:12,383
And you're sure some
D-Blockers will be in here?
661
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:14,843
Non-hostile, athletically-inclined ones?
662
00:34:14,844 --> 00:34:16,512
This is a safe space.
663
00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:20,099
[MARIA] "...be thrown into the sea,
with a millstone tied around their neck
664
00:34:20,100 --> 00:34:23,561
than to cause one of these
little ones to stumble."
665
00:34:23,562 --> 00:34:25,479
"So watch yourselves.
666
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:30,109
If your brother or sister sins
against you, rebuke them,
667
00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:32,820
and if they repent, forgive them."
668
00:34:32,821 --> 00:34:36,031
Religious people are a peaceful people.
669
00:34:36,032 --> 00:34:38,617
- "And even if they sin against you..."
- Not historically.
670
00:34:38,618 --> 00:34:40,995
"...seven times in one day
671
00:34:40,996 --> 00:34:44,131
and come back to you
seven times, saying,
672
00:34:44,144 --> 00:34:46,905
'I repent, ' you must forgive them."
673
00:34:47,586 --> 00:34:49,896
And what does this mean to you?
674
00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:57,886
[STUTTERS] I don't know.
I read and re-read this so many times.
675
00:34:57,887 --> 00:34:59,597
I don't know. I think
it's kinda bullshit.
676
00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:01,473
I know I'm not supposed
to say that in here,
677
00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:03,684
but it just doesn't make sense.
678
00:35:03,685 --> 00:35:05,686
What about, "Fool me once, shame on you.
679
00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:08,188
Fool me twice, shame on me.
But fool me seven times,
680
00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:10,625
then you deserve what's coming to you?"
681
00:35:15,530 --> 00:35:19,175
And maybe that's the kind of thinking
that got me in here in the first place.
682
00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:22,536
Maybe if somebody messes
up that many times,
683
00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:24,681
it's more about them
hurting or something.
684
00:35:26,041 --> 00:35:29,918
And that me retaliating isn't
gonna fix that problem,
685
00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:31,688
only make a new one.
686
00:35:33,757 --> 00:35:35,817
Thank you for sharing, Maria.
687
00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:43,098
Now, would anyone else like
to share their insights...
688
00:35:43,099 --> 00:35:46,411
[WHISPERING] I have always been
partial to that Maya Angelou quote,
689
00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:51,332
"When people show you who they
are, believe them the first time."
690
00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:54,335
I don't hate that.
691
00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:58,113
[PIPER WHISPERING]
When I first got here,
692
00:35:58,114 --> 00:36:01,509
you were really pregnant
and you were kind of nice.
693
00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:06,580
Yeah? Okay, look, we were never friends.
694
00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:09,208
But you didn't hate me at first.
695
00:36:09,209 --> 00:36:13,295
I know I'm supposed to talk about
"The Judgment of Solomon,"
696
00:36:13,296 --> 00:36:17,049
but today, I want to talk about
the Cult of the Holy Virgin.
697
00:36:17,050 --> 00:36:19,968
I told you I googled that.
It's not a real thing.
698
00:36:19,969 --> 00:36:22,805
That is because the Internet
is controlled by men,
699
00:36:22,806 --> 00:36:25,766
- and the Cult is for women only.
- [CHUCKLING]
700
00:36:25,767 --> 00:36:29,186
The Internet does not
want the world to know.
701
00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:31,247
But the man will not keep us down.
702
00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:33,982
We have been cast out for too long.
703
00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:38,463
I'm doing this thing. It's kind of
stupid. I'm starting a kickball league.
704
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,658
Um, I need 16 signatures.
We get extra yard time.
705
00:36:42,659 --> 00:36:45,178
[WHISPERING] If you
wanna, uh, sign up...
706
00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:49,289
[ADEOLA] It cannot be contained.
707
00:36:49,290 --> 00:36:54,336
It has been too long that our power
and our flower has been ignored.
708
00:36:54,337 --> 00:36:58,132
But what if we took all of the
flowers and combined them,
709
00:36:58,133 --> 00:37:01,051
and the smell would be overpowering,
710
00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:04,012
and it would be a different world,
it would be a smarter world,
711
00:37:04,013 --> 00:37:07,659
it would be the world of gardens?
712
00:37:08,643 --> 00:37:11,603
You were also present for
the riot negotiations,
713
00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:13,772
spearheaded by Ms.
Jefferson, were you not?
714
00:37:13,773 --> 00:37:18,902
Not from the start, but I was
brought in about halfway, yes.
715
00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:21,163
What was your impression of
my client during that time?
716
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:25,409
She took her role as lead
negotiator very seriously.
717
00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:28,847
She was articulate.
She was prepared with statistics.
718
00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:35,103
It is not easy to go toe-to-toe with
Natalie Figueroa, let me tell you,
719
00:37:35,712 --> 00:37:37,045
but she did.
720
00:37:37,046 --> 00:37:40,299
She was focused on improving
the conditions of the prison,
721
00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:42,926
which is more than I can say for
most of her fellow inmates,
722
00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:46,531
who were just reveling in the...
"the Purge."
723
00:37:47,891 --> 00:37:50,350
Thank you, Mr. Caputo.
724
00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:52,328
I have no more questions.
725
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:56,875
Mr. Caputo.
726
00:37:57,734 --> 00:38:00,545
It seems you had a very close
relationship with the defendant.
727
00:38:01,029 --> 00:38:04,173
I take my role as
rehabilitator very seriously.
728
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:07,576
During the defendant's
incitement of the riot,
729
00:38:07,577 --> 00:38:10,788
a crime to which she has
already pleaded guilty,
730
00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:13,099
was there ever a point where
you feared for your life?
731
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,584
No. Never.
732
00:38:15,585 --> 00:38:21,524
Really? Not once during three days of
kidnapping and false imprisonment?
733
00:38:23,885 --> 00:38:25,219
No.
734
00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:28,096
Were you scared when Ms. Jefferson
physically assaulted you?
735
00:38:28,097 --> 00:38:30,077
- I wouldn't say she assaulted me.
- I barely...
736
00:38:31,601 --> 00:38:33,036
My client apologizes.
737
00:38:33,895 --> 00:38:36,939
The former head of
public relations at MCC
738
00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:41,336
has testified that he witnessed Ms.
Jefferson punch you in the face,
739
00:38:41,903 --> 00:38:46,490
resulting in blood, quote,
"pouring from your nose."
740
00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:47,967
Did that not happen?
741
00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:53,205
Yes, it did, but...
742
00:38:53,206 --> 00:38:56,750
This was after the defendant,
along with three other inmates,
743
00:38:56,751 --> 00:38:59,002
trapped you in your
office and threatened you
744
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,296
with various homemade prison weapons,
745
00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:05,193
including "a board lined
with rusty nails"?
746
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:13,743
Could you answer out loud,
please, for the court reporter?
747
00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:16,495
Yes.
748
00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:20,274
[SIGHS]
749
00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:22,251
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
750
00:39:24,112 --> 00:39:25,212
[CLEARS THROAT]
751
00:39:26,114 --> 00:39:27,590
Nice try with Enders.
752
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:30,993
It's too bad she got busted
coming in this morning.
753
00:39:30,994 --> 00:39:33,120
Turns out tucking shit in your undertit
754
00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:36,039
doesn't work so well after
a breast reduction.
755
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,834
And why do women do that, huh?
756
00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:43,940
I mean, outside of cancer, why would
a woman ever make her tits smaller?
757
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:47,235
Fucking serves her right.
758
00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:55,159
We should start a club.
759
00:39:57,979 --> 00:39:59,271
We're injury buddies.
760
00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:01,958
[CHUCKLES] We were never buddy-buddies.
761
00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:04,085
Not too late to start.
762
00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:08,923
Did you want something, gimpy?
763
00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:14,036
Thought you should know, your girls
are falling down on their job.
764
00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:15,737
Not watching your back like they should.
765
00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:19,225
Why do I need to watch my back?
766
00:40:19,959 --> 00:40:21,894
Heard some inmates talking about a coup.
767
00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:26,566
Trying to undermine your position.
Like Gloria, for one.
768
00:40:27,050 --> 00:40:29,402
Gloria? Which one is Gloria?
769
00:40:33,556 --> 00:40:35,307
[SCOFFS AND LAUGHS]
770
00:40:35,308 --> 00:40:38,226
What, is she gonna lead a
Dance Dance Revolution?
771
00:40:38,227 --> 00:40:40,145
She gettin' all up on Luschek.
772
00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:43,398
And not because of his
undeniable sexual magnetism.
773
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:45,734
What's that? You got an eye thing?
774
00:40:45,735 --> 00:40:49,589
I'm saying, she getting close
to him for the wrong reasons.
775
00:40:49,989 --> 00:40:51,174
Your reasons.
776
00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:56,596
What do you think you know?
777
00:40:57,497 --> 00:40:59,515
I'm an appreciator of beauty.
778
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:06,254
I watch Luschek and when I
watch him, I see what I see.
779
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:09,734
Like, how every day he
got a different phone.
780
00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:11,944
Understand me?
781
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,489
Oh, I'm starting to overstand.
782
00:41:16,182 --> 00:41:17,700
It's Zirconia, right?
783
00:41:19,352 --> 00:41:23,897
If your Intel shakes out, I might
start calling you Diamond.
784
00:41:23,898 --> 00:41:25,315
[BADISON CHUCKLES]
785
00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:27,818
Actually, cubic zirconia
are optically flawless,
786
00:41:27,819 --> 00:41:30,612
so, you should probably
stick with the "Z" word.
787
00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:33,281
Lady, your real name is Irene.
788
00:41:33,282 --> 00:41:35,593
I call you Diamond, be grateful.
789
00:41:36,869 --> 00:41:39,621
So she's the one who
OD'ed, but it's my fault?
790
00:41:39,622 --> 00:41:42,916
Christ. Firstborn's supposed
to be the responsible one,
791
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:46,086
so how come I had enough sense not
to get hooked on my own product?
792
00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:48,714
Classic junkie. It's always
somebody else's fault.
793
00:41:48,715 --> 00:41:50,507
Junkie's got nothing to do with it.
794
00:41:50,508 --> 00:41:52,592
Family always blames family.
795
00:41:52,593 --> 00:41:55,262
Yesterday, my son told
me that I'm the reason
796
00:41:55,263 --> 00:42:00,142
my husband is prematurely ejaculating
into a divorcee from Sheepshead Bay.
797
00:42:00,143 --> 00:42:04,354
[SCOFFS] The problem with
family is expectations.
798
00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:06,898
Unconditional love, my ass-crack.
799
00:42:06,899 --> 00:42:08,817
Gotta earn my affections.
They're not a right.
800
00:42:08,818 --> 00:42:13,488
Exactly. I spent weeks apologizing
to my son, begging him to visit,
801
00:42:13,489 --> 00:42:16,783
when I was the one who grew
him from a speck of nothing.
802
00:42:16,784 --> 00:42:19,828
Fed him milk from my breast
for three fucking years
803
00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:22,122
and now my tits hang
like shriveled figs.
804
00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:23,165
[LAUGHS]
805
00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:28,837
"Aw, Mommy, please come visit me.
I'm so sad you only visit Barbie."
806
00:42:28,838 --> 00:42:33,568
Fuck unconditional love.
Hate keeps me warm at night.
807
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:37,387
- In Russia, we have a saying.
- Hmm.
808
00:42:37,388 --> 00:42:40,640
[IN RUSSIAN] "Those who love
you will make you weep.
809
00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:43,494
Those who hate you will make you laugh."
810
00:42:44,103 --> 00:42:47,456
You don't even have to translate that.
I hear you loud and clear.
811
00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:52,253
Sit there. Across from me.
812
00:42:52,904 --> 00:42:54,255
She's my partner now.
813
00:43:13,382 --> 00:43:15,675
Thinking you're a runaway
carrot is nothing.
814
00:43:15,676 --> 00:43:17,677
I remember this one time
I was so fucked up,
815
00:43:17,678 --> 00:43:20,764
I go and I knock on the elevator
door and nobody answers,
816
00:43:20,765 --> 00:43:22,599
- I took a shit in the hallway.
- [LAUGHING]
817
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,017
Yeah. Reasonable.
818
00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:25,435
[STUTTERS] And the next morning,
819
00:43:25,436 --> 00:43:28,855
I wake up in bed next to Katie
Buhrmaster's super hairy brother
820
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:31,399
and I found out that I had sold him
821
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,213
my entire Beanie Baby
collection for one bump.
822
00:43:35,863 --> 00:43:37,030
That doesn't sound so bad.
823
00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:39,574
I had Humphrey the Camel, okay?
824
00:43:39,575 --> 00:43:41,993
And Garcia the Tie-Dyed Bear.
825
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:43,846
Also, I am gay.
826
00:43:45,456 --> 00:43:48,226
The next morning was the first
time I tried to get sober.
827
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:54,690
Last time I was sober was, God...
30 years ago.
828
00:43:55,967 --> 00:43:57,735
I was the good daughter.
829
00:43:58,553 --> 00:44:01,805
When I first got here,
man, I had ethics.
830
00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:04,224
Strictly sell.
831
00:44:04,225 --> 00:44:08,663
I didn't even touch my own supply until
that rat, Frieda, fucked everything up.
832
00:44:09,564 --> 00:44:13,567
I got added years.
I could've been out by now.
833
00:44:13,568 --> 00:44:17,612
Not dodging assassination
attempts by my own sister.
834
00:44:17,613 --> 00:44:21,324
[CHUCKLES] Well, this place
will bring out your dark side.
835
00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:23,761
Yeah. I learned that the
last time I was here.
836
00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:25,595
You were here?
837
00:44:26,038 --> 00:44:30,250
Fuck. Maybe it really
is time to get sober.
838
00:44:30,251 --> 00:44:33,628
There is too much going on around
here that is getting by me.
839
00:44:33,629 --> 00:44:38,442
Eighth time's the charm.
That's what I'm hoping.
840
00:44:39,635 --> 00:44:42,095
What's the point of being
sober in here, huh?
841
00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:43,948
I mean, nobody wants to feel this.
842
00:44:44,849 --> 00:44:50,079
My guru, Jolene, says that I am
resting up for my next life.
843
00:44:51,063 --> 00:44:53,023
Hopefully as an only child.
844
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:58,194
I have found that it's a lot easier to
just be present for your current life
845
00:44:58,195 --> 00:45:00,673
rather than constantly trying
to score to shut it out.
846
00:45:01,282 --> 00:45:04,200
Like, uh, saying, there
is no shutting it out.
847
00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:07,680
Also sometimes you gotta do
some really ugly shit to score.
848
00:45:08,247 --> 00:45:11,058
Denning, you've been cleared for meds.
849
00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:15,688
Yeah, I don't need it.
850
00:45:19,008 --> 00:45:20,401
That was colossally bone-headed.
851
00:45:21,469 --> 00:45:24,095
You could've sold that shit.
This is the seller's market.
852
00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:25,698
[CHUCKLES]
853
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:27,450
[NICKY CLICKS TONGUE]
854
00:45:31,854 --> 00:45:33,456
I brought your favorite.
855
00:45:34,565 --> 00:45:36,500
Simple, but classic.
856
00:45:37,652 --> 00:45:38,878
Here.
857
00:45:42,990 --> 00:45:44,300
They're my apology chips.
858
00:45:45,534 --> 00:45:47,136
My mom said no.
859
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:52,207
I tried, I swear.
860
00:45:52,208 --> 00:45:55,460
She picked right now to be
this good, lawful person
861
00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:57,438
for the first time in her life.
862
00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:02,759
Maybe we could find somebody else.
You got family or a brother?
863
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,278
I got no one.
864
00:46:05,304 --> 00:46:07,347
Without product, I got
nothing to offer in here,
865
00:46:07,348 --> 00:46:11,142
so it's best to walk away before
you're a target by association.
866
00:46:11,143 --> 00:46:14,312
At camp, I heard that they trained a
chicken to come through the fence.
867
00:46:14,313 --> 00:46:15,939
We don't go outside.
868
00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:20,235
No. But the girls were saying that
they're gonna bring back kickball.
869
00:46:20,236 --> 00:46:21,695
Don't you get it?
870
00:46:21,696 --> 00:46:24,698
If there was a way to bring shit
in, I would've thought of it.
871
00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:27,158
Sometimes you gotta say dumb
ideas to get to a good one.
872
00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:29,053
You want drugs that bad?
873
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:31,388
Are you that fucking desperate?
874
00:46:32,081 --> 00:46:34,183
It's not about the drugs.
875
00:46:40,381 --> 00:46:42,483
Are you gonna make me say it?
876
00:46:45,678 --> 00:46:47,822
You've been nice to me.
877
00:46:48,556 --> 00:46:49,782
[SIGHS]
878
00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:54,078
I don't wanna be alone.
879
00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:56,122
[SNIFFLES]
880
00:47:23,758 --> 00:47:26,443
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]
881
00:47:29,472 --> 00:47:30,573
Shit.
882
00:47:31,348 --> 00:47:33,367
[GRUNTING]
883
00:47:35,686 --> 00:47:36,954
[SIGHS]
884
00:47:40,149 --> 00:47:41,542
[CLEARS THROAT]
885
00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:46,988
Is it better if I say sorry
or just not address it?
886
00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:50,926
Oh, it's cool.
I came, like, a bunch of times, too.
887
00:47:51,744 --> 00:47:52,702
Really?
888
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:55,246
No, stupid.
That took, like, three seconds.
889
00:47:55,247 --> 00:47:56,557
Hmm.
890
00:47:58,084 --> 00:47:59,643
I made you breakfast.
891
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:07,193
- It's a chocolate one, not spinach.
- Oh. [CHUCKLES]
892
00:48:07,676 --> 00:48:08,777
[SLURPS]
893
00:48:09,386 --> 00:48:10,428
Mmm!
894
00:48:10,429 --> 00:48:12,514
Maybe you could take
a container to work.
895
00:48:12,515 --> 00:48:13,890
The other guards might like it.
896
00:48:13,891 --> 00:48:15,266
[SIGHS AND SNIFFLES]
897
00:48:15,267 --> 00:48:17,936
You know what?
I bet the guys would go nuts for it.
898
00:48:17,937 --> 00:48:21,022
You know, you might even get,
like, three new customers.
899
00:48:21,023 --> 00:48:23,500
Yeah. Great. Three. Hmm.
900
00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:26,236
I'll have my own place in no time.
901
00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:29,823
Hey, I told you, you can stay
here as long as you need.
902
00:48:29,824 --> 00:48:30,740
[SIGHS]
903
00:48:30,741 --> 00:48:33,175
This ain't big enough
for me and my kids.
904
00:48:33,188 --> 00:48:35,203
Plus, your grandmother lives here.
905
00:48:35,204 --> 00:48:36,913
Yeah, but she never comes out.
906
00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:38,265
[SIGHS]
907
00:48:42,044 --> 00:48:45,839
[CHUCKLES] Listen, I'm
gonna be back around 7:00.
908
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,633
In case maybe you wanna make dinner.
909
00:48:48,634 --> 00:48:50,343
[STUTTERS] Not in a blender.
910
00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:53,364
And nothing too spicy.
That aggravates Nana's night reflux.
911
00:48:56,142 --> 00:48:58,911
Okay. [SNIFFLES AND SIGHS]
912
00:49:07,027 --> 00:49:08,236
[DOOR CLOSES]
913
00:49:08,237 --> 00:49:09,755
[SIGHS]
914
00:49:12,241 --> 00:49:14,301
[SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
915
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:27,231
Again.
916
00:49:33,846 --> 00:49:36,699
[LAUGHS] That was so good.
917
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:42,103
Wow. You're in the groove.
I think that was the best class yet.
918
00:49:42,104 --> 00:49:44,707
It was maybe top three. At most.
919
00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:47,543
[GLORIA] Um...
920
00:49:48,652 --> 00:49:50,004
We gotta talk.
921
00:49:51,405 --> 00:49:52,864
I know. I'm sorry.
922
00:49:52,865 --> 00:49:55,825
I didn't know if it was better to
apologize to you after the fact
923
00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:57,368
or pretend like it didn't happen.
924
00:49:57,369 --> 00:49:59,221
Uh, I wasn't talking about that.
925
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:04,334
No? I mean, me, neither.
[STUTTERS] What are we talking about?
926
00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:05,435
[SIGHS]
927
00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:08,880
It's this gang shit.
It's out of control.
928
00:50:08,881 --> 00:50:11,674
And no offense, but the
COs are doing nothing
929
00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:13,455
and people are getting
really hurt in here.
930
00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:16,346
I wouldn't say we're not doing nothing.
931
00:50:16,347 --> 00:50:19,641
I mean, we canceled mixed yard
and put Swope in the SHU.
932
00:50:19,642 --> 00:50:23,662
That don't matter when C's attacking C.
It's gone intra-block now.
933
00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:26,707
I will definitely look into that.
934
00:50:28,817 --> 00:50:31,694
And I will talk to the interim warden,
935
00:50:31,695 --> 00:50:35,299
even though I'm pretty sure she
doesn't give a flying fuck.
936
00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:37,009
Well...
937
00:50:38,744 --> 00:50:39,845
you got charm.
938
00:50:41,830 --> 00:50:43,015
Use it.
939
00:50:50,422 --> 00:50:55,510
[SIGHS] You know, you're at
least 15 years too old for him.
940
00:50:55,511 --> 00:50:57,595
I don't know what you're talking about.
941
00:50:57,596 --> 00:50:59,430
If you ever go into that class again,
942
00:50:59,431 --> 00:51:02,701
I'll have Shruti cut out
your thyroid in your sleep.
943
00:51:04,186 --> 00:51:07,748
She was one test away from
being an ENT surgeon.
944
00:51:08,607 --> 00:51:09,707
Feel me?
945
00:51:21,287 --> 00:51:22,537
You need all these books?
946
00:51:22,538 --> 00:51:24,956
I didn't know half the words
those lawyers were saying.
947
00:51:24,957 --> 00:51:27,834
It was like a scene out of Boston Legal.
948
00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:30,420
And then this prosecutor
lady was coming for me.
949
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:35,484
She tried to paint me as some...
revenge monster.
950
00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:38,695
Broken by the system, my ass.
951
00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:40,263
[SIGHS]
952
00:51:40,264 --> 00:51:42,408
You got good people on your side, too.
953
00:51:43,183 --> 00:51:45,702
You said your lawyer was hella smart.
954
00:51:46,854 --> 00:51:48,455
I don't know if that's enough.
955
00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:55,236
It was nice to hear all those things
that Mr. Caputo was saying about me.
956
00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:58,698
After all that him and
I had been through,
957
00:51:58,699 --> 00:52:02,886
for him to step up like that, man...
958
00:52:04,246 --> 00:52:06,807
[SIGHS] He's a good egg.
959
00:52:08,834 --> 00:52:12,003
- [GROANS]
- Hey! Are you okay?
960
00:52:12,004 --> 00:52:13,439
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
961
00:52:21,930 --> 00:52:23,699
I gotta tell you something.
962
00:52:26,602 --> 00:52:28,144
It's real bad, T.
963
00:52:28,145 --> 00:52:30,563
Come on, now. You know you can tell me.
964
00:52:30,564 --> 00:52:32,416
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
965
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:35,460
I...
966
00:52:42,451 --> 00:52:43,760
[CRIES]
967
00:52:45,579 --> 00:52:46,930
[BLACK CINDY SIGHS]
968
00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:51,018
I got a daughter.
969
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:54,104
- Oh.
- [CRIES]
970
00:52:54,963 --> 00:52:58,192
[SIGHS] Look, that's cool.
971
00:52:59,051 --> 00:53:00,694
I mean, how old is she?
972
00:53:03,889 --> 00:53:05,324
Thirteen.
973
00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:09,786
She doesn't even know she's my kid.
974
00:53:10,270 --> 00:53:12,331
She thinks she's my sister.
975
00:53:13,315 --> 00:53:16,067
Look, that happens. All right?
976
00:53:16,068 --> 00:53:19,362
Some people think that Solange
is Beyoncé's daughter.
977
00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:21,715
I didn't even tell the dad, neither.
978
00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:27,054
Instead, I lied to protect myself.
979
00:53:29,832 --> 00:53:34,436
He out there walking around,
no clue what could hit him.
980
00:53:37,339 --> 00:53:40,192
I'm in here pretending like
it didn't even happen.
981
00:53:40,759 --> 00:53:44,154
Going on in life like... like...
982
00:53:45,472 --> 00:53:46,782
Like nothing.
983
00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:53,396
I'm sorry, T. I'm sorry I lied to you.
984
00:53:53,397 --> 00:53:56,107
[INHALES SHARPLY] I'm not a good person.
985
00:53:56,108 --> 00:53:57,150
No.
986
00:53:57,151 --> 00:54:00,153
- I'm not a good person.
- I know you. All right?
987
00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:04,174
There is so much good in you.
You had your reasons.
988
00:54:05,826 --> 00:54:07,761
I'm not a good person, T.
989
00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:12,683
No. All right? No. No.
990
00:54:13,625 --> 00:54:16,335
You are a good egg, too.
991
00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:18,438
[CRYING] I'm not a good person, T.
992
00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:23,151
- [POUNDING AT DOOR]
- [EXHALES]
993
00:54:24,970 --> 00:54:26,137
[SCOFFS] What do you want?
994
00:54:26,138 --> 00:54:28,598
If you'd answer your fucking phone,
I would tell you.
995
00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:32,226
I can't fucking find it.
It's probably in a box with my towels.
996
00:54:32,227 --> 00:54:35,688
I'm moving, remember?
You banished me to Missouri.
997
00:54:35,689 --> 00:54:38,065
[SCOFFS] I should've banished
you from opening your mouth,
998
00:54:38,066 --> 00:54:39,817
I didn't think I needed
to tape that shut.
999
00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:41,235
What are you talking about?
1000
00:54:41,236 --> 00:54:44,238
I am talking about being
a good employee, Joe!
1001
00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:45,448
Toeing the company line
1002
00:54:45,449 --> 00:54:47,825
and not fucking the people
who pay your checks.
1003
00:54:47,826 --> 00:54:51,287
How is taking a bottom-feeding
job not toeing the company line?
1004
00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:53,706
Jack Pearson personally
called me to ask me
1005
00:54:53,707 --> 00:54:58,586
why you were on the defense
witness list for Tasha Jefferson.
1006
00:54:58,587 --> 00:55:02,465
You are making me look like a
fucking idiot for not firing you.
1007
00:55:02,466 --> 00:55:03,806
Are you trying to get me fired?
1008
00:55:05,344 --> 00:55:07,988
Linda, it's not about you.
1009
00:55:09,223 --> 00:55:11,390
I am trying to do the
right thing by that girl.
1010
00:55:11,391 --> 00:55:14,477
Well, this isn't about
the right thing, Joe.
1011
00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:17,563
And stop acting like
you're above all this.
1012
00:55:17,564 --> 00:55:23,045
Stop acting like you can just do...
whatever you want without consequences.
1013
00:55:23,862 --> 00:55:26,757
MCC's dirt is your dirt.
1014
00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:28,675
You're MCC.
1015
00:55:31,119 --> 00:55:32,220
Yeah.
1016
00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:36,767
No. Not anymore.
1017
00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:39,168
I quit.
1018
00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:40,270
[SCOFFS]
1019
00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:45,442
[EXHALES]
1020
00:55:45,926 --> 00:55:47,235
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
1021
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:50,530
- [ALEX LAUGHS]
- Oh, that's right.
1022
00:55:53,267 --> 00:55:55,226
Oh, no, I didn't order this.
1023
00:55:55,227 --> 00:55:57,329
Open the book, JonBenét.
1024
00:56:03,610 --> 00:56:04,753
[GASPS AND LAUGHS]
1025
00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:08,465
Yes! Yay! [LAUGHS]
1026
00:56:10,534 --> 00:56:12,118
Look who got kickball going.
1027
00:56:12,119 --> 00:56:13,911
There must've been divine intervention.
1028
00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:16,831
Your D-Block friend got all
the church ladies to sign up.
1029
00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:18,642
I told you God is real.
1030
00:56:19,293 --> 00:56:20,626
Like in that movie they made
1031
00:56:20,627 --> 00:56:23,129
based on the kid's memoir
that turned out to be a hoax.
1032
00:56:23,130 --> 00:56:24,422
[SIGHS]
1033
00:56:24,423 --> 00:56:27,609
I feel like I should warn you
that I am not a graceful loser.
1034
00:56:32,931 --> 00:56:35,808
[SCOFFS] You didn't get kickball.
You got D-Block kickball.
1035
00:56:35,809 --> 00:56:37,852
I just offered it to anybody
who wanted to play.
1036
00:56:37,853 --> 00:56:39,454
You said I could ask the other girls.
1037
00:56:40,689 --> 00:56:43,899
If Barb's bitches are playing,
we gotta have our own team.
1038
00:56:43,900 --> 00:56:47,570
Akers, Creech, Chambal, both
Amys, you're joining kickball.
1039
00:56:47,571 --> 00:56:49,196
- Yeah, I call pitcher.
- Damn it!
1040
00:56:49,197 --> 00:56:50,497
Can we change it to dodgeball?
1041
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:53,826
Badison, you're in charge.
1042
00:56:53,827 --> 00:56:56,996
We can call it Badison
News Bears. [LAUGHS]
1043
00:56:56,997 --> 00:56:57,955
That's stupid.
1044
00:56:57,956 --> 00:56:59,099
Oh.
1045
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,544
Great.
1046
00:57:03,545 --> 00:57:06,297
Diamond! Yo, you can be base coach.
1047
00:57:06,298 --> 00:57:07,691
For real?
1048
00:57:11,178 --> 00:57:14,031
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [IMITATES AIRPLANE ROARING]
1049
00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:40,098
[INHALES DEEPLY]
1050
00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:42,809
If we're gonna do this,
1051
00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:45,544
we gotta be smarter this time.
1052
00:57:52,231 --> 00:57:57,098
sync and corrections by awaqededwww.MY-SUBS.com.
1053
00:57:57,099 --> 00:58:00,059
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1054
00:58:00,060 --> 00:58:07,042
♪ In the jungle, the mighty jungle ♪
♪ The lion sleeps tonight ♪
1055
00:58:08,068 --> 00:58:15,133
♪ In the jungle, the quiet jungle ♪
♪ The lion sleeps tonight ♪
1056
00:58:15,909 --> 00:58:19,704
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1057
00:58:19,705 --> 00:58:23,708
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1058
00:58:23,709 --> 00:58:27,670
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1059
00:58:27,671 --> 00:58:31,632
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1060
00:58:31,633 --> 00:58:38,698
♪ Near the village, the peaceful village ♪
♪ The lion sleeps tonight ♪
1061
00:58:39,349 --> 00:58:46,414
♪ Near the village, the quiet village ♪
♪ The lion sleeps tonight ♪
1062
00:58:47,190 --> 00:58:51,110
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1063
00:58:51,111 --> 00:58:55,031
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1064
00:58:55,032 --> 00:58:58,909
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1065
00:58:58,910 --> 00:59:02,955
♪ Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh ♪
1066
00:59:02,956 --> 00:59:04,808
[VOCALIZING]
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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