All language subtitles for Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya 2005

[GASPS]

Sameer...

[GASPS]

Gas?

Sameer...

Auntie! Auntie!

Good Auntie!

Hey Auntie! Wake up!

Sameer, forgive me. I'm leaving you.

Sure, you're forgiven! Now wake up!

I wish you were a heart-specialist
instead of an orthopedician...

-you'd have understood my anguish.
-I understand all your anguish!

Okay, now come on! Wake up!

Please, Sameer... one last time.

Okay.

Who are you?
And what are you doing here?

Strange girl!
First she hugs me and then yells at me!

-How did you get in?
-Ungrateful girl!

Like a hero! I broke through the window.
You left the cooking-gas on.

Had I not got here on time,
you'd have been dead by now.

Why did you save me?
You should've let me die!

I see! A suicide case!

-Sameer's not the reason for it, is he?
-How did you guess?

Auntie! He's the one whose name was
on your lips when you clung to me!

Don't even utter his name.
I'm very angry with him.

Why? Is there another
Auntie in Uncle's life?

-Another girl? He's a married man!
-You've fallen for a married man?

He's very honest and straightforward.
He hid nothing from me.

-That's why I love him.
-Uncle sure has it made!

-By the way, I'm Pyare Mohan.
-Hi!

But you can lovingly call me Pyare.
Your friendly neighbour.

I've just arrived from Delhi.
I'm struggling to become a film-star!

I'm Sonia, a model.
And Sameer's a bone-specialist.

-Orthopedics?
-Shut up.

Sorry.

-It's late now. Good night.
-Wait...!

Here's Sameer's card. Please call him
and tell him that I'm still alive.

And that there's no
need for him to meet me.

Sure, I'll call him.

[WHISTLING]

Good night, Pyare.

Oh man!

[CHUCKLES]

-Oh, pick up!
-Hello!

Hello, this is Naina, from
Dr. Malhotra's clinic. What's happening?

Why haven't the X-rays arrived yet?
Please send them urgently. Thank you.

It's one already.

[DIAL PAD TONE]

Hello.

Thai Pavilion? Dr. Malhotra's clinic.
His food hasn't arrived yet.

-Right away, ma'am.
-It's one already. Please make it quick.

Thankyou.

-Excuse me, ma'am.
-Yes?

-How much time will it take?
-Your turn's next. Just 5 more minutes.

-Okay.
-Please be seated.

-And when's my turn coming, darling?
-You? What is it?

Should I say it right here
or should I take you out?

-What on earth do you want?
-You!

You know right, had you not
been the doctor's friend...

I wouldn't have let you
enter into this clinic!

You won't let me enter into the
clinic, your home, your heart,

are you some sort of watchdog?

-Look...
-[GASPS]

I could look all my life.

Currently, the doctor
is examining a patient.

I know what sort of
patients he examines!

Tell me? What is your ailment?

The moment I see you,
I go weak in the knees.

-Calcium deficiency.
-There's a pain in my lower-back.

You suffer from a slipped-disc.

[GASPS]

-My heart keeps hammering away.
-[HEART BEATS]

Have your cholesterol checked.

The whole of my body
seems to be on fire!

-Looks like you're running a fever.
-Hey... don't confuse me with your words.

Now hurry up and come in my arms! Please!

How can I control myself?
This is no wafer... it's a proper girl!

Hey!

Listen... do you know
that I'm a married man?

So? When have I asked
you to divorce your wife?

[HEART BEATS]

But you must at least keep
meeting me like old times.

-I will. But not now.
-Then when?

-Next June.
-Now!

-June...!
-Now...!

SAMEER: Naina!

Let go! Somebody help me! Naina!

Sameer.

What happened?

-Let go!
-Let go!

For God's sake! I'm a married man!
Come on! Leave me!

-Let go!
-Pull me!

-Are you all right?
-How dare you!

-But I was only helping you.
-Is this what you call help?

Doctor, you tell your friend to
behave respectfully! Insolent!

-She is mad.
-Idiot.

-How do you tolerate her?
-I'm tolerating this one...

and I'm controlling myself with her!
What a great character I have!

-Couldn't you find a proper nurse?
-Catch you later!

You, much later.

Just like her.

There can't be a better
nurse than Naina.

She takes care of the clinic,
of my food... of everything.

Like a good wife.
The only difference is,

after work, she goes to her own
house and I head for Sonia's house.

-Great setting! Mind-blowing!
-Isn't it?

"Sameer, by the time you read this,
I will not be in this world! Sonia."

[GASPS]

Doctor! You've got mail!

Send the male out. Send the female in!

-It's from Sonia, doctor.
-Really? Read it for me.

Doctor it says, "By the time you read this
message, I won't be in this world! Sonia."

-Sorry, sorry...
-Sonia!

-Doctor, what about your appointments?
-Cancel all my appointments!

But...

[PHONE RINGING]

-Hello! Dr. Malhotra's clinic.
-Greetings!

Hello! Pyare here. Tell Uncle Doctor
that Sonia's still alive.

Sonia's still alive? Doctor!

-Dr. Sameer?
-Later, later.

-Where has the doctor gone?
-I don't know.

And what are you doing?

How about playing doctor-doctor in there?

Doctor-doctor?

Hey! What are you doing?!

Sonia!

-I knew it! I knew it!
-What did you know?

You know how many patients
I've left behind? And you?

You're not even dead! Instead, you're
merrily sitting here, sipping coffee.

I'm sorry. It must be so painful
for you to see me alive, isn't it?

I know what your problem is! That I didn't
come to your fashion show last night.

But how could I?
I had an emergency case to attend!

The poor guy had seventeen
fractures in his leg.

He came limping to me... in agony!

Should I have attended him or watched
you on the ramp in your fashion show?

Lies! You went out with your wife.

Me? When I hate that woman,
how can I ever go out with her?

SAMEER: Give that a thought!
Think it over! [WHISTLING]

Hey! Who's that? And why's he
getting in from the window?

I'm mending what I wrecked yesterday.

Sameer, that's Pyare. My new neighbour.

In that case, stay in your house
like other neighbours do.

Why get into the neighbour's
place through the window?

That too, half-clad?

You! Wait, I'll come in.

So you're uncle Doctor,
the bone-specialist!

See? Sonia's alive. Had I not arrived
on time yesterday, Sonia would have...

[CRACKER SOUND EFFECTS]

-Really?
-Smooch?

That I'll do later. But let me at
least thank you first, Mr. Pyare.

-Thank you, thank you...!
-Hey! What are you doing?

-Bye Pyare.
-Bye.

Thank you.

You are such a grown up girl and you were
about to kill yourself because of me?

In this day and age, girls claim lives.
They don't lay down their own.

I, Sameer Malhotra, I'm just a
bone-specialist. An orthopedic surgeon!

And not a very good one at that.
I'm not God to save you!

Play mind games with your boyfriend.
Only mind games.

Pretend to die... but don't really die.

Please don't die.

Sameer... who do I have except you?

But I'm here for you, am I not?
I'm here for you!

-I'll marry you.
-No, I know you won't marry me.

-Of course, I will!
-No! I say you will not.

What I mean is that I will.
I will marry you.

-Really?
-Really.

PYARE: Lay off, you fraud and cheat!

-I'll never let your scheme work!
-Who's that? Pyare?

Was he saying that to me? To me?

Calm down, Sameer.
Pyare's just a struggling actor.

-He's just rehearsing his lines.
-Really?

Good rehearsal.

But how will you marry me?
You already have a wife.

-I'm going to divorce that wicked woman!
-I've seen through you, you fraud!

You love playing with the
lives of innocent girls? Rogue!

Rogue? He said that to me!
I am coming.

Oh no, it's nothing. It's nothing.

What are you doing?
Someone might see us.

-Who?
-Pyare.

Where did Pyare spring
from in our romance?

Looks like we'll have to spend
the week-end out of town!

[CHUCKLES]

"This girl has taken off with my heart..."

"This girl has taken off with my heart..."

"In just a glimpse,
she has given me the high of love."

"I want to spend the rest
of my life with you..."

"Oh my love."

"This girl has taken off with my heart..."

"This girl has taken off with my heart..."

"In just a glimpse,
she has given me the high of love."

"I want to spend the rest
of my life with you..."

"Oh my love."

"I want to spend the rest
of my life with you..."

"Oh my love."

"My heart is smitten by you."

"My heart is smitten by you,
I'm bowled over by you."

"Your charms are indeed
fatal, sweetheart."

"Without even saying a word,
you've said everything, darling."

"In just a glimpse,
you have given me the high of love."

"I want to spend the rest
of my life with you..."

"Oh my love."

"Sweetheart, your heartbeat..."

"Ever since our hearts have
started beating together..."

"it feels as if Spring
has arrived in my life."

"Without even saying a word,
you've said everything, darling."

"In just a glimpse,
you have given me the high of love."

"I want to spend the rest
of my life with you..."

"Oh my love."

"I want to spend the rest
of my life with you..."

"Oh my love."

You're a greater singer.
I hope you can cook good food as well?

Of course, why not?

When we can sing a duet together,
we can even cook up a meal together.

Half you and half I.

No, no. That's your right.
I can't snatch it from you.

You're the one who'll
handle the cooking.

Hello. Sorry to disturb you.
I'm from the management.

-How did you find Maldives?
-Beautiful.

-Shazia... you?
-You?

-Sameer Malhotra!
-Oh my God! Sameer, how are you?

I'm okay.

Sonia, she's my friend Avinash's wife.

-Hi, sonia. Nice to meet you.
-Hi.

-How's the old rascal?
-How are you?

Your friend Avinash has divorced me.

-Oh, I'm sorry.
-But I'm not.

Another girl entered into your friend's
life, and he walked out on me.

Anyway, that's life.

You please enjoy yourselves and
let me know if you need anything.

-Thank you.
-Okay.

-Bye.
-Bye.

The scoundrel! The two-timing rascal!

He was a bad photographer anyway.
He also turned out to be a bad husband.

Why?
You're also leaving your wife, aren't you?

But mine is a different case.
Altogether different.

What's different? Look Sameer,
I want to meet your wife.

You want to meet my wife!
What for? Why?

Didn't you see the
pain in Shazia's eyes?

I don't want to hurt someone
to win over my love.

-I've got to meet her once.
-Look, it's not possible.

-Why not?
-When I say it's not, it's not!

-Because...
-Because what?

Because... once you get the
toothpaste out of a tube...

you can't put it back in,
no matter how hard you try!

And my wife's a gone-case!
She's not coming back.

-You'll take me to her if you love me!
-How? I'm not even married!

-There's no wife!
-What?

You mean you lied to me, Sameer?

I fell in love with you because
I thought you were an honest man!

But you've turned out to be like
all the other men! I hate you!

Hating me is all right.
But who are the other men?

Who are the other men?

As if anyone commits suicide
in such shallow waters!

Sonia!

The water's very deep, Sonia!
You're going to drown!

I'll introduce you to my wife!
I will... please come out!

SONIA: Sameer... wake up.

[GROANS]

Sameer, when are you
introducing me to your wife?

When are you introducing
me to your wife? When?

I will introduce you...
Let the plane land first!

I'll introduce her to
you tomorrow morning.

I promise, I will. Please go to sleep.

Hello, doctor!

I'm not a doctor, I'm a nurse.

-Are you not a doctor?
-No.

The doctor's on his way.
But what's your problem?

Problem? It's my legs!
It's like they're not there at all.

-But how come you are...
-Let's skip the details.

It's a painful story. Your ear-drums
will explode if you hear it.

-Really? So let's skip it then.
-No, how can we skip it?

Since you've mentioned it,
let's get on with it now!

I was in the army during the Kargil war.

During the great Kargil war,

spitting fire with my gun,
I reached Lahore.

That's when I saw that I was out of
bullets and the war had ended too.

-I was caught...
-Oh!

For twenty days,
they hung me upside down...

and kept hitting me in
my legs with sticks!

However...

Look at my spirit!

My bones were creaking,
but I didn't utter a word!

-Control yourself.
-Good morning, Naina.

Good morning, doctor!
He is... what was your name again?

-Thapa.
-Yes. Mr. Thapa was in the army.

-The enemy broke his legs.
-Oh, so you weren't born with such legs?

-No.
-What's the matter with you then?

What should I tell you, doctor?

There's just no sensation
or feeling in my lower-half!

Everything can rise, but not my legs!
They refuse to work!

They'll work in a moment.
Give those crutches to me.

-Come on, follow me.
-Hey...

-I can't walk!
-I know you can do it! Come. Come on!

-A soldier of the Indian army!
-Come on over... very good! Bravo!

You're almost there... very good!
Superb, yes...

-Mind-blowing!
-Very good!

Thanks for the support.

No problem. Hold this.

But where does every
girl think like you?

People poke fun at me!
They call me a cripple and a twisted man!

But you're the most different
and the most beautiful.

Nobody will say that you ever again.
Now lie down, I want to examine you.

Time's a problem today.
I must join my regiment's pizza party,

I'll come some other day.

[PHONE RINGING]

Oh no!

These soldiers are amazing.
All they need is some motivation.

Hello.

Disgusting!

SONIA: Sameer, when are you
introducing me to your wife?

-Tell me...
-Doctor...

-One moment.
-Hello.

Naina: 'Why's he looking
at me like that?'

-SONIA: Hello.
-Very soon.

-In fact, you'll meet her tomorrow.
-Sure?

100%! Bye.

Naina: He was fine minutes ago,
what's gotten into him all of a sudden?

-Naina...
-Yes?

Have you arranged for some lunch?

I've ordered your favourite
from Thai Pavilion.

Cancel that order!
You and I are going out for lunch.

Are you really talking to me?

Yes. There's no one else around.
Is there, Naina?

No, but in the last five years,
you've never... I mean...

Sure, five years.
But I've finally invited you, right?

Yes.

-I'm famished. Shall we go?
-Of course, let me change and come!

Where to?

-Change! Oh! In there, of course. Sorry!
-What a bore!

Isn't it amazing?
I invited you to lunch,

you chose the restaurant
and you even ordered the food.

Yes.

-Guess why.
-Why?

That's because you've
gotten to know me so well.

And I don't know anything about you. So
tell me something about your life, Naina.

-About my life?
-Yes.

-My life is very interesting, doctor.
-Really?

From 10 in the morning to 8 in the
evening, I'm with you at the clinic.

At 8:30, I reach home and
then I bathe till 9.

From 9 to 9:30 I cook,
and finish my dinner by 10.

At ten I start watching the
Discovery channel... and I go to sleep.

At 6 in the morning, Ramu arrives
and wakes me up lovingly and... [SNORING]

-Ramu?
-The milkman.

At 7, I get ready and leave for work at 8.

From ten to eight,
I spend time at the clinic with you...

-...then I reach home at 8.30.
-Naina...!

-Listen, sir, it's interesting...
-Oh yes, very interesting life, Naina!

Why do I get the feeling that
if I ever faced a problem in life...

-...you'd surely help me out?
-You're not wrong at all, doctor.

You can try me out anytime.

That's exactly why I've
called you here today.

-Naina...
-Yes?

Will you be my wife?

I?

She's actually blushing!

Naina, Naina...
it's only for half an hour.

Say, 15 minutes?

Okay! 10 minutes!

-Are you kidding?
-No, I'm terribly serious.

Aren't you ashamed? You've flirted
with so many girls and now...

-...you think I'm one of them?
-No! You're getting it all wrong!

-You're getting it all wrong!
-You made it so clear...

-...and you say I'm getting it wrong?
-Don't you know?

I tell every girl that I'm a married man.

Is anyone listening?

-So they won't cling to me later.
-That is your problem.

No, that's not my problem. My problem
is that I've fallen in love with Sonia.

-And she wants to meet my wife, who...
-Just doesn't exist.

Yes.

-I can't do it, doctor.
-Why?

Why!

Because I can't deceive someone!

-But this is not deceiving...
-I told you, I can't do it. And that's it!

Please! For the sake of my happiness!

No, doctor.
Your happiness lies in your own hands.

All I hold in my hands is your
appointments diary, x-rays,

the patients' list and all the things
that you use or want to use.

Thank you for the lunch, sir.

No!

Where will I get a wife for half an hour?

Sonia, my wife died last night.
I buried her this morning!

That's not convincing!
What am I going to do?!

-Careful.
-Auntie! We want an ice-cream!

-Auntie we want vanilla, please...!
-Yes, wait.

Give them what they want, please.

Listen, don't go anywhere.
I'll be back in a moment, okay?

-Don't move. Okay? Promise?
-Promise.

Sorry.

Bye... come back soon!

-Mrs. Naina Malhotra.
-Hi, I'm Sonia. Nice to meet you.

Very nice to meet you.
Sameer said you wanted to meet me.

That's right. Shall we move
there and have a chat?

Okay.

Sameer said the two of
you want to get married?

That's right. But unless you...
you understand what I mean, right?

Oh, of course! The divorce papers are
ready. It'll come through soon enough.

-Don't worry.
-I'm sorry, but...

I can't tell you how happy I am!

But you're not sad,
are you, Mrs. Malhotra?

Oh, please call me Naina!

So far, I've lived only for Sameer.
And now, I want to live for myself.

I want my freedom.

-May I ask you a question?
-Yes. Please!

-Do you really love Sameer a lot?
-I can even die for him.

-In fact, I have even tried it twice.
-Really?

Will you ever be able to forget Sameer?

Oh yes, here's this man
I've spent years with,

looked after his food
habits, his small needs,

picked up his handkerchiefs,
put up with his lifestyle...

it's going to be a bit difficult.
But that's okay, don't worry about it.

Naina, you're very sweet.

-For you.
-No, I can't take it.

You must. It's a gift from me.
Please keep it.

Please.

Thank you.

-You're very sweet too.
-Thank you.

Sameer's a lucky guy. Thank you.

Here I come, one minute... hold on!

I'm so sorry! I'm late, isn't it?

Since you're angry with me,
no issues, I'll eat up the ice-cream!

Come on, come on! Let's go.

Sonia.

Sonia.

Sonia.

Looks like she's taking a bath. A bath!

Bathing in there, Sonia?
Wouldn't it be fun...

if you and I bathed
together closing our eyes,

taking the showers to
be a spell of rain!

What do you think, Sonia?
Please tell me.

Sonia.

-One more.
-Okay.

One more Sonia.

[SMOOCHING]

Yuck! No!

-What are you doing here?
-I was doing my exercise.

Obviously, I was bathing
in the bathroom.

Take a bath in your bathroom!
Where's Sonia?

What?

Sameer... don't be angry.
There's no water in his bathroom.

I see!

One building, one water-tank,
one connection,

and there's no water in his bathroom?
Please explain.

That's because my pipe is choked.

I see. Guess what, Sonia?

Are you going to stand naked
before me for the whole day?

I'm leaving! I know, the sight of
my physique gives you the creeps.

Feeling insecure, aren't you?

-Bye.
-Bye.

Sameer, I made a new friend yesterday.
She's such a sweet girl.

Introduce me to her.
You introduce them only to Pyare.

-Make me meet a sweetie pie too.
-But you've met her already.

-I have met her?
-Naina.

Naina? The name rings a bell.

-Idiot! Naina, your wife!
-Was Naina here?

Naina came! Naina came to meet you!
Very good!

I realised after meeting her,
the kind of mistakes we make in life.

You did, didn't you?

Did you see what a big mistake
I made by marrying Naina!

No, it's my mistake.
I'm breaking your home.

I'm a terrible person, right?

Sonia, my marriage was already
on the rocks, even before you arrived.

Your arrival has saved my life.

Else, I'd surely have died, attempting
suicide again and again like you.

So what about the kids?
Sameer, when a marriage breaks,

and a divorce takes place,
it takes a terrible toll on the children.

You're right! Absolutely right.

The children's mental balance
must not be tampered with!

We'll never tell our children
about my previous marriage.

Sameer.

I'm not talking about the
children who're yet to be born.

-What about those who are already there?
-What?

You have children?!

She has children.

-Not my children. Your children.
-My children?

-Where did they spring from?
-Sameer, you're too much!

Just because you fought with your wife,
are you going to spurn your children too?

-That too, two-two lovely children!
-Two? Naina came with the kids!

-Naina came with the kids?
-Yes.

-Smart!
-Sameer, I want to meet your children.

-I want to shower my love on them.
-Their dad's standing right here...

meet their dad,
shower your love on their father!

No, I'll have to meet them
after the marriage, isn't it?

I will play with them, take them out...

Come to think of it,
they'll get love from two Mothers!

No need to give them extra love!
The love of one Mother...

has spoilt them so much,
they don't even recognise their father!

-You're not meeting them!
-Really? I'm not meeting them?

-I won't meet?
-No!

Sonia...!

Sonia!

Sonia...!

Sonia...!

Sonia!

Where are you?

Hey! What are you doing in here?

I broke in from the
window to save her life.

Had you used your brains,
you could've saved her life too.

-It's only common sense.
-What common sense? Nonsense!

What nonsense? You fall in love
and I pull the rescuing act?

-Here's your love's parcel. Take over!
-Can't you carry her to the couch?

Who is this guy!

Sonia!

-The children...
-Yes, I'll take you to the children...

provided you give up this
childishness! Please!

-Really?
-Really.

-I'm happy now!
-Are you?

There was this King, okay?
And he had two queens...

Why does every king have two queens?

I don't know all that, go to sleep.
It's late in the night. Come on.

[DOOR BELL]

You have your exams tomorrow. Hurry up
and go to sleep. Not a sound, Okay?

-What if we don't sleep?
-You'll get a thrashing.

-[DOOR BELL]
-I am coming!

-Sir? You?
-Sir, sir, sir?

You made me bow my head
out of shame today by calling me sir...!

-I?
-You hid such a huge thing from me...

that you have two children, that
too, without even getting married!

No.

-You're an even bigger liar than me!
-That's enough, sir, enough.

They're my sister's children, not mine.

My sister and her husband are
getting a divorce, so they stay

at the hostel and spend the weekend
with me. You're just raving away...

-this is not done!
-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

But why did you have to take
the two of them to meet Sonia?

She now thinks you're my wife
and they both are our children!

That should make you happy! That's very
good. It makes your drama even better.

Better? Bullshit!

And bullshit's never any good.
It's always bullshit!

And Sonia now wants to meet
these two bullshit kids!

-But what will the kids say to Sonia?
-Lies.

Lies? No way! These children
will not say any lies to anyone.

What effect will it have
on their delicate minds?

Have you ever thought what effect
it's having on my delicate romance?

-It's just for tomorrow.
-Tomorrow?

No way! They got their exams tomorrow!
You... how? I mean, how could they?

Naina.

The skies won't fall if they flunk
in their exams. I am there.

I'll hire them as compounders.
They'll play in the compound.

Auntie, since he's insisting
so much, say yes to him.

Else, he just won't let us sleep.

Also, it'd be better if we don't
appear for the exams tomorrow.

What have you taught us anyway?

You...

These kids? I think they'll lie
through their teeth to Sonia!

Sonia's going to be very happy.
Come to me, kids... come to me!

-Go to your room at once! I'm serious!
-Yes, we're going, come.

Okay, sir, you'll get these kids,
but sir...

Thank you.

-But why am I doing all this? Why?
-It's like this, Naina.

There's no answer to every
"why" and "how come" in life.

[SHOUTING]

Hi! Here are the kids!
Now don't ask to see their kids.

Children, whom do you like
more between Mom and Dad?

-Tell her.
-Neither of them!

What?

Now let us ask you a question.

From where do children
come into this world?

What?

Children are God's gifts.
An angel descends from the skies,

with the baby wrapped in rose-petals,

gives the baby to the
Mother and goes away.

-Hear that?
-What?

Auntie doesn't know a thing!

Only you could have such children!
I'll fetch something for them to eat.

-How could you say that to her?
-Uncle, nice girl you've scored with!

Uncle, he snatched my ice-cream!

You ought to be ashamed to
steal another kid's ice-cream!

-Go on, son.
-Thank you, Uncle.

Aren't you ashamed to take other
people's children out, Uncle?

-Shut up now, will you?
-"Uncle"?

Other people's children?
What's all this about?

What can I say, Sonia?
Their Mother has taught them...

to call me Uncle and
call her boyfriend Dad!

-Does Naina even have a boyfriend?
-That's why I'm leaving her.

How I've yearned to hear
them call me "Dad"!

-Do you know Naina's boyfriend?
-No. I don't want to, either.

-But I want to meet him.
-But why? What for?

We must see what sort of a man he is,
else lives will be ruined.

I'd be so glad to see
Naina's life being ruined.

Not Naina's life. The children's lives.

If he turns out to be a nasty man,
won't the children's lives suffer?

I got to meet him.

Got to meet him. Got to!

-You first made me your wife,
-Right.

-Then the Mother of two children.
-Right.

-And now this, aren't you ashamed at all?
-Of course, I'm ashamed!

I'm so ashamed,
I'm hiding my face and begging you...

just once, just once,
if Sonia sees you with a man,

all my problems in life
will be solved in a minute!

No, your problem won't be solved.
Don't ask me to do it, I can't!

Please... for my sake!
For your doctor's sake!

I'll never ask you for
anything ever again!

-Promise?
-Promise.

-But where will we get a guy from?
-Do you have a friend or boyfriend?

I have no friend or boyfriend.
You'll only have to find one.

-Found him!
-Who?

My friend... I have just one friend!

-That...
-That... Vicky?

No way! I can't...

-God,
-Here he comes.

At last my name comes on Madam's lips.

Think of the devil and the devil is here.

-Why, is there a problem?
-No problem at all.

You'll have to play Naina's
boyfriend for a few days.

-I'm willing to do it for a lifetime!
-Acting... he'll only be acting!

I'll get into the skin of the role...
and never come out of it!

I'm going out... to wash my hands.

That sort of behaviour is going
to affect my performance.

-For my sake... please?
-Okay.

[GASPS]

-What am I doing at such a boring place?
-But I'm having a ball.

What will you have?
Whisky, rum, vodka, gin?

-I don't drink all that.
-But I will drink, okay?

Don't cling to me! We're only acting here.
Behave yourself!

I'm an actor man! Once I get into the skin
of the character, then I don't come out!

-Waiter!
-Yes sir.

-Get me large vodka with orange juice.
-Plain orange juice for me, please.

Get out.

-Look! Your wife!
-Oh my God!

-That too, with her boyfriend!
-Boyfriend?

Wasn't a six-bedroom house big enough?

That she had to flog my reputation
in front of the whole world?

Disgraceful woman! You should've at least
waited for the divorce to come through!

I can't bear to see all this.
Let's go, Sonia.

No! Let's see what they're up to.

Must be romancing, what else!

I wish I was dead,
before witnessing a day like this!

-Vicky, come closer to me, will you?
-Don't tell me!

Anytime!

-You're game already?
-Stupid... they're here.

-How I hate this!
-Now just watch my performance.

Attention everybody!
Hello, ladies and gentlemen!

I dedicate this lovely evening
to my future wife, Naina!

Therefore, food and beverages
are all on the house from me!

Yes.

Thank you, thank you
What are you doing?

-You are doing too much of over acting!
-Was it too much?

Yes.

Vicky, you're buying
everybody free liquor,

-do you even have money even for a beer?
-Hasn't Sameer given you any money?

-He has.
-So give it to me.

I'll give it right now.

What happened?

I am an actor man!
Have I no respect at all?

-Look, he's taking money from Naina!
-Oh my God!

That too from under the table!

Give it to me!

Thank you.

-What a cheapskate!
-My money!

-Why would you give her any money?
-We're still married, you see.

She keeps threatening me...

...that she won't love my children
if I don't give her any money!

And look at him gulping down large
drinks with my little children's money!

Yuck!

Why are you looking at me like that?
I'm feeling scared.

You know what?
You got two ears and two eyes.

-Everybody does!
-Really?

But you also have two noses!

And two glasses!

No wonder I am not getting high!

I drank plain orange-juice
and you drank up my vodka!

-What?
-This hotel's going round and round!

Hold, hold!

-Not me, idiot! Hold the hotel!
-Now how will I hold the hotel?

Right.

-Are they watching?
-Yes.

So let me give you a kiss...

No...!

Vicky, Vicky?

Thank you.

-That's my girl... my girlfriend.
-Really!

-Hi.
-I'll have to go. Leave me.

Thank you.

-What were you up to?
-I'll explain it to you in a quiet corner.

What was I doing?
She was the one doing everything!

-But who's she?
-She is... my film producer.

She's producing my forthcoming film.
The title is, "Bodies... and bodies".

-Disgusting!
-No, even families can watch it...

separately, that is.
Got to do it, you know.

If I make her happy...
my life will be made.

I got to go through the
grind to make it as a hero.

My shoes are worn out,
my lips are being worn out today,

I don't know what else
I'm going to wear out.

You understand, don't you?
You do understand?

-I love you!
-Me too.

I love you! You are mind-blowing!

-I love you!
-Me too.

-Bye, bye!
-Bye.

Sameer, your wife's boyfriend
is romancing with another girl!

This is too much!

-Forget it.
-How can we forget it?

What effect will it have if any man
becomes your children's step-father?

Come, let's reason with him.

-Doctor! This is my new boyfriend.
-Doctor, you're a great guy!

You gave me your wife and
also two readymade children!

-No hassles of pregnancy!
-Shut up!

You're flirting with another
women when my wife is around?

What does my wife lack?

If she lacks nothing,
why are you leaving her?

-Yes, answer that! Speak up!
-Shut up, you ungrateful man!

I've tended to Naina as
if she were a tender rose!

If she as much as sheds
a tear after your marriage,

I'll make sure that your
nose bleeds like a river!

[GOAT BLEATING SOUND EFFECT]

Nice indeed!

First I have to drive a
second-hand car and...

on top of that,
even listen to his abuses!

Whom did he call second-hand? Bye!

-Sameer, just leave Naina.
-I already have.

-Only the divorce has to come through.
-I mean, drop her home.

-He's not a nice guy.
-Who'll drop you home then?

I'm absolutely sober and
Naina's not in her senses.

Go on. She's still your wife. Go... Go on.

"My veil slips away..."

"My anklets chime..."

"My bangles tinkle..."

"Oh, this restlessness has increased..."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

"Ever since I've met you,
something has stirred in my heart."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

"My heart was lonely and I was too..."

"I was a mystery even to myself'."

"I wonder what has come over me..."

"All I feel is a high everywhere."

"You charms are quite
something else today."

"You sure are lost to yourself'."

"Your charms are quite
something else today."

"You sure are lost to yourself'."

"Oh, this restlessness has increased."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

"What kind of ecstasy has taken over?
My heart's in a strange bind."

"I'm going astray,
my resolve is beginning to wilt."

"There's craziness in the air."

"We're going astray,
our youthfulness is compelling."

"There's craziness in the air."

"we're going astray,
our youthfulness is compelling."

"Oh, this restlessness has increased..."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

"My veil slips away..."

"My anklets chime..."

"My bangles tinkle..."

"Oh, this restlessness has increased..."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

"I'm indeed bitten by the love-bug."

[GASPS]

A gift?

Wow, Sameer! It's a sari
(Dress worn by Indian women)!

This is the sari you'll wear
when you meet my Mother.

-Will it be okay if I wear a bikini?
-Will do.

-Provided you wear it inside the sari.
-Okay.

Oh!

-So the doctor has finally wooed you!
-What do you mean?

I always thought you were a
girl with a lot of self-respect.

You thought? I am. You doubt that?

It's not about doubt, it's a question of
rights! The doctor is still not divorced.

His wife has a greater right to this sari.

You can keep it, if you wish to,

but wouldn't it be better if you had
accepted it after your marriage?

-Think!
-'I think he's right.'

-Excuse me, ma'am.
-Yes?

There's a parcel for Mrs.
Naina Malhotra.

Yes, okay.

"I love you, from Sameer."

-Lie down.
-I beg you, I don't want to be cured.

-I can't let you leave without curing you.
-What kind of coercion is this!

If God wants me to lead
the life of a cripple,

I'll live with it. What's your problem?

The problem is that God wants
you to get well. So lie down.

God has His will.
You have a will and so do I!

I want to limp to death! Try to get
the depth of what I'm saying, doctor!

I'm enjoying being a cripple.
I'm very happy with myself.

Even if you cure my legs,
you're going to do the walking, not me!

-You are laughing!
-All right, lie down. I'll take an x-ray.

No...! What will you do with an x-ray?
Please try to understand, doctor!

What a stubborn doctor!
I hope he doesn't chop off my limbs!

-Give me Thapa's file, will you?
-What?

Thapa's file.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

-This is Kumar's file.
-Sorry, doctor.

-Sorry.
-It's okay.

You are so sweet.

Thank you.

-What's this?
-What?

-How could it be?
-Is there some new disease?

-This is impossible!
-What is it? A cancer in my legs?

-Tell me something, will you?
-Oh no!

At least tell me how many
more days I've got, doctor!

What's happening to me?

My legs are all right,
what's he worked up about?

Is this a hospital or a garage?

[PLAYING MUSIC]

To the rich and the famous!

Look. Hello everybody!

Very loud music, you see. That's why
no one heard it. Got to change the DJ.

Nevertheless, let's enjoy. Come on.

Excuse me, mister. A photo, please?

No photo... this is my private time!

You know how these guys disturb stars!
I don't know from where they come!

Hey hero!
We don't to click your photograph.

I want you to click our picture.
Click, come on!

-I don't take pictures of animals. Here!
-Animals?

Come on, baby! Let's enjoy.

He's playing hero with that girl.
"I'm not taking the picture".

Pyare is on fire!

-Hey hero... that's my drink. Leave it.
-But I ordered it.

-To hell with your order!
-I placed the order.

-Let go!
-May I?

I let go!

[CHUCKLES]

Sorry Uncle, what are you doing?
Make him see reason, Auntie!

Auntie.

She looks like an Auntie to you?

Auntie hit Uncle!

[GROANS]

Pyare!

Pyare! What are you waiting for!
Go and hit back!

Fighting and me?
But I'm a chocolate hero!

-Get up!
-Uncle.

-Let him go.
-Get lost!

Sameer!

I've been saying I'm sorry since
a long time, please leave me.

Auntie...!

-Save Pyare!
-I will, I will... nice punch.

Tell me something. Why did you
give Naina the gift I gave you?

Until you and Naina are divorced, she
has a right to everything that's yours.

[THUDDING]

Really? Who keeps giving
you such bright ideas?

-Pyare.
-Pyare?

-No, not my face!
-Why not?

I make a living out of it.
I am a struggling actor, that's why.

-So where do I hit you?
-Here, here, here...

or even here.

Pyare.

-Save me from this beast, Doctor Uncle!
-Save him...!

Hey! Stand there! Why fight with a kid?
Let's see if you can fight with Uncle!

-Him? My foot he'll save you!
-He called you a coward! Chicken!

[GRUNTING]

No reaction.

"Just chill, chill... just chill."

"Just chill, chill... just chill."

"Let our hearts come
together, my love..."

"just chill, chill... just chill."

"Just chill, chill... just chill."

"Sweetheart, let our
hearts come together..."

"just chill, chill... just chill."

"I love you ardently too... so come
and meet me sometime, will you?"

"Just chill, chill... just chill."

"When dusk sets in..."

"it awakens my desires."

"When dusk sets in..."

"it awakens my desires."

"Yours is the spell that is cast on me...
sweetheart."

"Without you, I like nothing."

"I see only your face... everywhere."

"You possess killer charms, my love."

"Just chill, chill... just chill."

"Kiss me, sway with me."

"Kiss me, sway with me."

"There's fun in this mischief'."

"Only those who have
fallen in love know..."

"that love is intoxication."

"It's difficult to reason
with the heart, my love."

"Just chill, chill... just chill."

"I love you ardently too... so come
and meet me sometime, will you?"

"Just chill, chill... just chill."

Drinks on Uncle Doctor, enjoy!

Just chill!

Yeah...!

"Let our hearts get together...
sweetheart, come meet me..."

-Good night.
-Good night?

As if I'm going to let you off so easily.

It must be dark on the staircase.
I'll see you off at the door.

Don't worry, I'm with her.
I'll take her in the lift.

I made a mistake by giving you a lift.

Darling... coffee!
Treat me to a cup of coffee!

Hello! This happens to be a house,
not a cafeteria!

Darling, the next time he's with you,
I'm not going out with you anywhere.

In that case, the next time we
meet will be when you're divorced.

No coffee, no tea, no me.

That's the Indian girl!
She's sent the doctor in a twirl!

-So get going.
-Sonia...

Sonia...

-I forgot to tell you something.
-What?

I'm divorcing Naina in the
court at 10 on Monday morning.

So I'll watch the divorce proceedings
with you at the court on Monday!

And later at eleven, I'll have a
cup of coffee with you. Okay?

[CHUCKLES]

Run out of gas, haven't you?

You look so happy!
What's the problem?

I told Sonia I'm getting
divorced in the court...

...at 10 on Monday.
She also wants to attend.

She has called ten times already.

There... that's the eleventh call.

[PHONE RINGING]

-Hello, Sonia.
-SONIA: What time?

-9:30.
-Monday morning, right?

-Yes, Monday morning. Okay? Bye.
-Okay Bye.

-So what! Take her along!
-But, what court, which court!?

-Now, is your marriage real or fake?
-Fake.

-Your wife's real or fake?
-Fake.

-The divorce is real or fake?
-Fake.

-So why can't we fake a court?
-What rubbish!

-I'm talking about a filmy court!
-What a fantastic idea!

Doctor, you weren't keeping too well.
Isn't it?

Here's Vicky...
with a cure for my disease.

Thank you.

I have a cure for you, too.

As long as the disease is here,
a cure's very difficult.

Listen, Naina. For the last time,
you must put on an act with me on monday.

-No, doctor. No...
-We'll finally be divorced.

-Really?
-Really.

-Okay?
-Okay.

After that, you and I will get married.
Love you.

Hey!

-I'll have to wash my hand again!
-Will she take a bath if I embrace her?

What man! Tell your wife how she's
supposed to behave with her boyfriend!

Wow Auntie! I can hear the bells ringing!
You look solid!

I'm going to the court. Sameer's
divorce is coming through today.

-Here comes the spoilsport.
-What?

The bone-specialist!

-Sameer!
-Hi Sonia!

-Congrats on your divorce.
-Thank you...!

-I'm going with you too.
-Where to?

-To the court.
-What for?

I've seen a lot of
weddings in my lifetime!

But I've never seen a divorce!

I have a lot of problems anyway.

To make it worse,
Mom's arriving from Punjab.

And I can't make up my mind, must I go
and receive my Mom at the station

or go to the court and
divorce Mrs. Naina Malhotra.

Pyare will receive your Mother!
You will, won't you Pyare?

-Anything for you!
-Step here, please.

Uncle.

He will. He will.

How am I going to
recognise your Mother?

-You want some identification?
-Yes.

Now look there...

...that's her identity!

That must be the doctor's Mom!

A woman travels 30 hours from
Punjab to meet her son

and you demand to see her ticket?
You ask a Mom for a ticket?

-Rascal! What if I were your Mom?
-Forgive me, Mother.

I'll never ask a Mother to show me her
ticket again. I swear it on my Mom!

-What was that one for?
-You won't ask any Mother for her ticket?

Do you own the railways?
Here's the ticket, tear it.

-Now where's my Sameer?
-I've recognised you!

Sameer's Mom, right?
I'm his friend, Pyare.

Whoever you are,
makes no difference to me!

-Just tell me where my son is!
-He can't come today.

He's getting divorced!

-What was that one for?
-Before a divorce...

...there's got to be a marriage.
You understand?

-Idiot! You don't even know that much!
-But Mom, your son is already married.

-And he's getting divorced today.
-God Almighty!

My son got married and he's
even getting divorced today...

...and there I was in Punjab,
tending to the family business!

Which court is giving them a divorce?
Take me there, will you?

Keep your mouth shut and let's hurry up
and reach court before it's too late.

Attention you all...

The Emperor of India,
Jalal-ud-din Akbar... cometh.

-What's he talking about?
-I couldn't find anyone for a small role.

The last movie he did
was "Mughal-E-Azam".

Those are the lines he repeats.
I'll deduct it from his fee.

I order to let the proceedings
of the court, begin.

Your honor, the marriage of Sameer
and Naina has hit a roadblock.

So let me question her.

-Mrs. Naina.
-Yes?

When did you realise that you could
no longer live with this scoundrel?

-The very next day of the marriage.
-Don't tell me!

Yes.

Then why did you tolerate
him for all these years?

What should I say, Your Honor. However
bad a government of our country may be,

we have to tolerate it for five years!

Order! Order.

So Mr. Sameer,
what problem do you have with her?

Your Honor,
what does a man look for in his wife?

He wants her to cook like his
Mother in the kitchen...

...and love him in bed,
like his girlfriend.

But her case was just the opposite, sir!

In the kitchen, she loved me
like my girlfriend and said...

"Darling, I'm not in the
mood to cook today."

"Why don't we order food
from outside, please?"

And in the bedroom, she used
to scold me like my Mother!

She used to say, "Go to sleep, it's late.
You got to leave for work in the morning."

-What sort of a marriage is this, sir?
-Amazing! Is this what happened?

Mrs. Naina, say something... anything.

Please.

Because he... he used
to chase other girls!

If a girl comes with a cracked finger
in his clinic, he reaches for her hand!

And if a girl comes to
show him her hand, then...

-Never mind, it's okay.
-I won't be able to say it. Disgusting!

-That's not the way he is, sir!
-Thank you, Sonia.

When a man has starved for
five years in the drought,

won't he go running when
he sees a sweets shop?

-You tell me, sir!
-Silence!

Nobody's going to talk
about sweets here.

I suffer from diabetes.

I am sorry to hear that, Your Honor.

Drive slowly, doctor's mom!
You want to get me killed?

Watch out, will you?!

Hey mom, go slow! Control the vehicle!

Let me drive in peace, Pyare.

Mom, don't stand up, please!

Mr. Sameer, how did you feel
when you got to know...

...that your wife is having
an affair with another man?

I felt as if someone was enjoying
a feast in a five-star hotel...

-...and I was footing the bill.
-No, no, what I mean is...

...when did you get to know that she was
having an affair with someone else?

Two years ago, sir. One night,
when she was sleeping with me,

she murmured, "Sweetheart,
I love your moustache".

I actually liked what she said.
Then I was startled!

Hell! I don't have a moustache!

Mr. Sameer, a moustache is
the symbol of a true man.

Is it just a moustache
that you don't have...

-...or aren't you a real male at all?
-Objection, Your Honor!

Objection, Your Honor!

Sameer is a true male. I know it.

Sameer is a true male. I know it.

What's happening here?
Everybody's raising objections!

Watch it, lady!
We'll go to heaven, not the court!

Worry not, son! "I set out in style..."

"I leave them all behind, round the bend."

-Just don't be afraid. Don't.
-You're going to kill a kid!

Mrs. Malhotra, if you are divorced,
who will the children live with?

-They'll live with me.
-No, Your Honor!

The children will live with me!
They are my life!

Don't separate my children
from me. Your honor, please!

Have you gone crazy?

Keep the children with you!
By all means!

I appeal to you to give my children
to him. Please, Your Honor!

No, Your Honor!
I'm sorry, I became selfish!

Who else other than a Mother can
take good care of the children?

Let her keep the children.

Sir, this is no marriage,
it's a coalition government...

...of so many political
parties, it can never last!

It's like a rotten movie that's going
on and on... without getting over!

It's like a cricket match where
there's a downpour after every over!

It's like a crocked car without
brakes, running over people;

-someone might get killed, man!
-Please stop it!

Please... grant them a divorce.

-Please grant them a divorce.
-Please!

[VEHICLE TYRE SCREECH]

Out of the way, everybody!
She has gone crazy!

She's going to get me killed!
There's the court,

are you going to drive into it?

- [THUDDING]
- [GLASS BREAKES]

Doctor Uncle, the real
courtroom drama begins now!

Victory to the doctor's Mother!

There's going to be no divorce!

Who's the person that is snatching
my Daughter-in-law from me?

-What are you doing here, Mom?
-Mom!

Shameless boy! You first got
married without telling me...

-...and now you're even getting a divorce!
-Excuse me.

You're posing obstacles
in the court's proceedings.

Just keep your mouth shut!

I've driven several crows like you away
from the millet farms by hitting them!

-No divorce is going to take place!
-What's happening in my court?

But Mom, the judge has
delivered his verdict.

A Mother's verdict holds more
importance than a judge's.

She? What a good taste, son!

Your honor, my Daughter-in-law
is so pretty! Come my boy. Come.

Mom!

The whole of Punjab and Haryana
would sway to her smile.

In this love-story,
there can be an interval,

but "The End" must never come.

Shall we?

"Sweetheart..."

"In our duel of love..."

"Sweetheart..."

"In our duel of love..."

"my bangles broke on my wrist."

"My bangles broke on my wrist."

"My bangles broke on my wrist."

"Sweetheart..."

"In our duel of love..."

"Sweetheart..."

"In our duel of love..."

"I had to stay up in bed all alone."

"I stayed up in bed all alone."

"I stayed up in bed all alone."

"Every moment, I desire you.
Your charm steals my very being."

"Oh the color of henna on your palms."

"And the way you blush."

"And the way you blush."

"Yes, I shied away..."

"...from the duel of love,"

"but the bangles broke on my wrist."

"My bangles broke on my wrist."

"My bangles broke on my wrist."

"Impatience drove me crazy."

"The moonbeam set my heart racing."

"It felt like a thunder..."

"...and I squirmed and writhed
through the night."

"I lost my sleep..."

"...in the duel of love."

"I stayed up in bed all alone."

"I stayed up in bed all alone."

"I stayed up in bed all alone."

"Sweetheart..."

"In our duel of love,"

"I stayed up in bed all alone."

"I stayed up in bed all alone."

"I stayed up in bed all alone."

"My bangles broke on my wrist."

"My bangles broke on my wrist."

[SNORING]

Sameer, what are you
doing on the sofa? Get up.

Mom, I'm sleeping, let me sleep.
I'm tired of telling lies.

Go and relax in your wife's
arms, it'll refresh you. Get up

I've been doing that for five years.
I want to rest in your lap tonight.

Sing a lullaby for me.

I'll kill myself by going
under a truck or something...

-...if you don't go to my Daughter-in-law.
-Mom!

Stand up, get up!

And listen! God helps those
who help themselves.

Go inside and get lost!
Go and win her over.

Mom!

Oh my dear husband!
Tell me, what can I do for you?

Shall I clean your feet and worship you?
Or shall I massage your head?

What all must I do in this bedroom?
Tell me, please.

Naina, I'm sorry but I'm not
at fault in this. Mom...

Look, don't find faults in your Mom.

It's your mistake.
Also mine, in some way.

Any Mother would do this
much for her son's happiness.

It started as a joke and things
have reached a height now.

Fake wife, fake children,
fake marriage, pretended laughter...

paying respects to your Mother
and taking her blessings.

All those things that a
woman dreams to do,

have become a joke for me.

I don't understand what I must...

Look Naina, I know that...

to keep Mom and Sonia happy...

I've hurt you badly.

However, I never hid
anything from you,

although I used you a lot.

I'm sorry.

If you think, you've had enough,
and if you want to leave,

you certainly can.

You may leave.

Go.

[GASPS]

You are very bad.

I know. Thank you, Naina.

Mom, everything is fine!

Sonia, here are the divorce papers!
Naina has signed them.

I'll get a divorce in 20 days,
and we'll marry on the 21st day.

Pyare?

Yes, it's me.

Which nightgown would you
prefer for sleeping, Sonia?

This one? Or this one?

-This one.
-Okay.

What are you doing here? And what
are you doing with Sonia's nighties?

I'm not wearing them, I'm packing them.

Pyare is so sweet.
See, he's helping me do the packing.

Packing?

-Where are you going?
-I am going out.

-For a shoot.
-When?

-Tonight.
-Tonight? Where?

-Dubai.
-For how many days?

Only seven days. Want to come along?

I wish I could! But all the appointments
and patients, what can I do!

Sonia, anything else
you'd like for nights?

-No, that will be all.
-Son, I'll pack your things some day.

And I'll have you mailed to such a place
from where you can never return.

Uncle, why delay then? Do it now.

Lay off.

[INDISTINCT]

Sameer, why do you flare up on Pyare?

Because I can't flare up on you.
That's why!

-You are going away for a week!
-Only a week.

Not "only a week", it's seven days!

PYARE: It could even be 8-9-10 days!

-Shall I come there?
-Sorry, Uncle!

If he ever falls ill, send him over to me.

Okay, I'll send him.

I've packed some cashew nuts too.
This health supplement is very necessary.

Give me the water bottle.
Did you pack his undergarments?

-I've packed them.
-Attaboy! Give me that flat bread.

-Looks like Mom's going to Punjab.
-Very good!

Mom, are you going to Punjab?
Please don't go, Mom!

I'm not going to Punjab. I'm sending
you and Naina abroad, for a honeymoon.

I can't stand Naina till the gate, and
you want me to go abroad with her, Mom?

Son, in a marriage,
if the curry of love goes cold...

then you must season it with
romance and freshen it up.

What are you doing there, dear?

Go abroad, shower your
husband with lots of kisses

and win him back.

-But Mom...
-No buts. Keep your mouth shut.

-Here, hold the tickets.
-I don't want to go.

I know you will send me
on a pilgrimage tour.

Hey! This is the place
where Sonia is going!

Mom, you are a little
late, but you are great!

I knew it, son,
you'd never turn me down.

Naina, let's go, darling.

-Thank you, Mom.
-You're welcome.

I'll be back.

Mom is really amazing.
I did a quick packing, you know?

-By the way, where are we going?
-Not "we".

I'm going alone.

Oh! You are kidding, aren't you?

Aren't you?

But how will you go all
alone on a honeymoon?

Why all alone? Luckily,
Sonia is already there.

I get it. I stay back and you go there.

-Right.
-Okay. Anything else?

Yes. Don't go out of your house
until I return. Else, Mom will see you.

-Here's your bag.
-Anything else?

You tell me.
What should I get you from there?

A husband, who never lies.

You'll have to find him for yourself.
All right?

Yeah.

-Bye.
-Bye.

-Have a good trip.
-I will.

-Bye, See you.
-Bye.

Lucky girl, Sonia.

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"It will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"...will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"...will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Stop! Watch it."

"This angle has a triangle."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"...will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"...will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Stop! Watch it."

"This angle has a triangle."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"...will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Come, let's go someplace far away."

"Everyone is envious of us."

"Come, let's go someplace far away."

"Everyone is envious of us."

"Let's elude every eye."

"Let's merge into the colour of love."

"I'll buy you bangles..."

"Will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"...will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Stay away! Don't jam in."

"Or, you will be thrashed."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"...will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"There's no doubt in this."

"Only I have the right to her."

"There's no doubt in this."

"Only I have the right to her."

"Time will tell about..."

"Who is going to win her heart!"

"This game of heart is not so simple..."

"It will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"...will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"Stop! Watch it."

"This angle has a triangle."

"Every angle of our love-story..."

"...will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"This angle has a triangle."

"It will be remembered by
the world every moment."

"This angle has a triangle."

"It will be remembered by
the world every moment."

Out.

[GRUNTS]

-What are you doing in Dubai?
-Why? Does your father own Dubai?

-Don't you dare abuse my father!
-Why are you guys brawling?

Pyare is here to help me
at the shoot, as a friend.

Ask your friend to get out since
your boyfriend is here now.

-Please go away.
-I won't go. What will you do?

-Look Pyare, I might even hit you.
-Hit me? Try raising a finger at me!

Look Pyare, I might even
kill you if I lose it.

-Kill? Try touching me with your nail!
-Forget it, Sameer.

-Pyare is quite tough.
-Is he?

Leave it.

Fine. I think it was my mistake. Let it be.

Mistake? What mistake? Tell me.

It was my mistake that I
should've thrashed you long ago.

Pyare, are you all right?

Pyare, leave it.

Sameer.

Stop it.

Sameer.

Sameer.

Uncle.

Pyare.

Pyare enough!

You hit me?

I made a mistake. Hit me if you want.

PYARE: Uncle, this is what you call
a love-and-hit relationship.

Pyare.

[HUMMING]

-Sonia.
-Hi.

You look so pretty.
You were just missing a hat.

-How sweet! Thank you.
-Mention not!

Pyare, are you trying to
flirt with my girlfriend?

-I wish... I... like this cap...
-Sameer!

-It is Pyare's gift!
-I'll smash it...

...and throw it in the water with you.

Sameer, what have you done?
I have to wear it for the shoot.

Get my hat back.

Forget the hat, and give me a small kiss.

The one who brings my
hat back gets a kiss.

Excuse me!

He loves me so much!
Look, he instantly jumped.

That's good. He'll bring the hat.

-Then he's the one who gets the kiss.
-One who gets the hat?

Pyare, hurry up.

Jump.

Sameer, quickly.

Go, Pyare.

Go, Sameer.

-Sonia!
-Pyare! Yes!

My kiss!

Hey... Sonia! Sonia!

Who is that?

-Shorts! Give me my shorts back!
-You want kiss, my Sweet boy!

My shorts! Not fair, Sonia.
Me and you...

-Gopi, you are so slow! Hurry up.
-Yes, Mother.

I was checking out the trousers.

This one's fine.
Gopi, buy a top for yourself.

These are ladies tops, Mother.

Mother... isn't that
our Daughter-in-law?

-How can our Daughter-in-law be here?
-Wear your glasses and see.

Where should I go now!

Daughter-in-law...

-Did you see properly?
-Of course.

-Are you sure it was our Daughter-in-law?
-Dead sure.

Where did she go,
I just don't understand!

Where is she?

Gopi, did you see properly?
Was she really our Daughter-in-law?

Yes Mother, it was our Daughter-in-law.

Gopi, where are you?
Take me to my Daughter-in-law's house.

Yes, Mother.
But I don't know where she lives.

308, Milton Apartments,
Juhu Koliwada, Mumbai-49.

Let's hurry then.

What's this? All your marks don't
even add up to 34 percent.

That's it! The two of you are
going to boarding school. Final.

No Mom.

Please Mom, we don't want to go.

Mom... you? Here? What?

What's this? You have kids too?

No Mom, actually... that... this...

My son's a rascal, and his wife
too turned out to be a liar.

Sameer lied to me and went abroad.

You too hid away from me.

That's fine, but the other day
I saw you at the shopping mall.

Where did you hide my
sweet grandchildren?

No Mom, please listen to me...
they are...

No 'but's, keep your mouth shut.

I was unfortunate, I had two
fixed deposits in my account

and I was desiring the principal.
I won't spare Sameer.

Look at his eyes...
hasn't he taken after his grandfather?

-What?
-I'm so happy today.

So happy that, if I had my way,

I would have declared a public
holiday all over India.

-Grandma's Day!
-She's so funny!

Thanks for the extra holiday.

Sameer, get up.

When will you introduce
me to your Mother?

When will you introduce
me to your Mother?

When will you introduce
me to your Mother?

When?

I will introduce, I will.

Won't you wait till the plane lands?

I will introduce you tomorrow.
Now sleep, please.

Now please sleep.

-Welcome back, son.
-It was great fun, Mom.

-But I missed you a lot.
-You came alone? Where's your wife?

-I dropped her, Mom.
-Shut up, shameless chap!

I sent you with her so that
you'd love her and placate her.

I know, Mom. Well, I can't
hide anything from you now.

You are grown up now. Do you know, Mom?
She doesn't know how to love.

During lovemaking,
she's like an ascetic in a trance.

Eyes shut, breath held... she just
doesn't know the art of lovemaking.

Thank God we don't have kids.
Had we any kids...

Well, how could we have kids, Mom?
She has no idea how they come.

-Look behind you.
-Mom...

like all great men,
I have sworn not to look behind.

People will look at me and say,
"Wow Mr. Sameer! New house,"

-"new wife, and so many kids!"
-Wonderful.

-But Mr. Sameer, just look behind.
-Really?

-Hi.
-Aged Mother, old house,

old wife, old children!

Children, your father is here.
Greet him.

Greetings, Father.

-Wonderful!
-Pathetic!

-Mr Sameer...
-Where's my bed, Mom?

Mother-in-law, let me live with you,
I'll be a nice Daughter-in-law.

I'll serve you, I'll cook,

I'll do the dishes, and
wash the clothes;

with Virma detergent.

Sonia, you are selling detergent here,
and my Mom is beating me up there.

Cut it...!

-What are you doing here, Sameer?
-What's going on here?

-Who's this?
-Sir, I'm very sorry, he's my boyfriend.

-Doctor Sameer.
-Why pick on me, brother?

What'd you do if I barged
into your operation theatre?

I would have administered a shot on
your buttocks by tying you upside down.

-But what are you doing here, buddy?
-I just need 30 seconds, buddy.

Even I need to make a
30-seconds advertisement.

But nobody's giving me an opportunity.
Like Shekar Kapoor,

I'll also quit this country
and migrate to Los Angeles.

-Go right now!
-Sorry sir...

Sonia, why aren't you answering
my calls since morning?

Because I want to meet your
Mother, not you.

Meet my Mom?

-The shot is ready, Madam.
-But I'm not ready...

-...to introduce Sonia to my Mom.
-Because of your Mom...

-...my advertisement is getting...!
-Do you have a Mother or a sister?

What are you doing there. Come here.

No, Sameer. We will stay away from
each other till you divorce Naina.

-I want to remain spotless.
-Wow! Fantastic!

What a line! "Virma detergent,
leaves your clothes spotless".

-Bloody!
-Hell!

[CAMERA CLICKS]

I jog away.

Keeps my hands and legs fit.

So I jump away.

Jumping...!

My breath... my breath...

I know, you are the Mother-in-law and
Ms. Naina is the Daughter-in-law.

Shut up, ass. The pump...

-Oh, the pump!
-The pump...

-Here's the pump.
-Not this one... my pump.

-What happened?
-She's gasping for breath.

-She wants a pump.
-Here it is. Sit down, Mom.

[GASPS] Open...

Again... better?

Who told you to exercise so much?

I'll decide your diet from now on.

I'll prepare your health chart.

I'll not let you compromise on
your health. No way. Okay, Mom?

Great, Mother. This is what you call
the love of a Daughter-in-law.

-What was that for?
-She's not my Daughter-in-law.

-She is my daughter.
-Great, Mother. Awesome.

I'm so happy.

-Gopi, give me tea.
-Yes.

Here.

-My respects, Mother.
-You hid such a big thing from me, son.

-What, Mom?
-Your wife Naina is so good.

-She's disciplined and so mannerly.
-I never knew, Mom,

-that my wife had so many qualities.
-Shut up.

She's a goddess, son.
I suffered a bout of asthma.

She took such great care of me,
that I was fine in a jiffy.

I have prayed to God that...

I want Naina as my Daughter-in-law
in all the lifetimes to come.

You have opened my eyes today, Mom.

-I never realised Naina was so nice.
-She is, son.

Naina.

Naina... Naina!

What was the need to
act nice with my Mom?

Excuse me! It wasn't an act.

I'm a nurse first then your fake wife.

-It's my duty to save a patient's life.
-I know.

But you could've called me.
If you keep on serving Mom like this,

-she will never let us part.
-Is it? Then let's tell her everything.

Don't worry. A Mother forgives every
mistake that her son commits.

My Mom is a 'Mother India' type of mom.
She still slaps me.

-She can even shoot me if the need be.
-Then what's the solution?

Naina, can a horse ever
befriend its fodder?

Can a Daughter-in-law ever love
her Mother-in-law? No, right?

-You called me a horse?
-No. I called Mom fodder.

-Shame on you. You are terrible.
-You should also be terrible like me.

Be a true Indian Daughter-in-law.

Turn terrible and torch the
house, so that Mom runs away.

Do it!

KIDS: Come on, grandma.

-Come on, grandma!
-Drive like Superman. Let me show you.

-Hey son...
-[INDISTINCT]

Gopi, you idiot.

What are you doing here, Gopi?
Get back to the kitchen, now.

-What are you people doing?
-What are you doing, Daughter-in-law?

Please don't interfere. The kids
are not studying because of you.

Don't worry, dear.
We own several trucks.

-My rich kids will never go hungry.
-Why aren't you up yet?

Come on, pack up, quick.
You are going to the hostel. Move it.

They won't get a good upbringing
at the hostel, my dear.

Oh yes, I forgot. I can see how
great the upbringing of your son is.

What are you talking?
I made him a doctor.

I wish you had made a good
human being out of him.

His bad company will spoil my kids.

Only God can save us
from you and your son.

Let's go, children.

What's wrong with her all of a sudden?

Naina!

Don't scream. I'm good at it too.

And I got an identity of my own!
Anyway, I'm not a caged bird...

...to be kept under watch for 24 hours.

You are unnecessarily angry, dear.
Nobody is keeping you under watch.

My glasses are broken.
Please get it fixed, dear.

Mother-in-law, this is Mumbai,
not your village.

Fixing things cost money. Besides,
can't you see through a broken glass?

Well Mom, what will you even see?

The torn up album of your
only son's broken marriage!

I'm so stuck in this place.

Mother.

Keep this money, Mom.
I can go without slippers...

-...but you can't go without glasses.
-I know.

In the movie "Baghban",
this is exactly what Amitabh went through.

His daughters-in-law made
life miserable for him.

A man with a height of 6 feet looks
cute when he weeps inconsolably.

But Mom, he's a great personality
and a tough human being in reality.

Forget the height,
but even I'm no less in a fight.

I will endure everything for your sake,
but I won't let her go.

Don't do this, Mom. Don't!

I'm a goner!

Sameer is ruined.

Ms. Naina Kaur, you are just amazing.

You... You...

If you script a few more
episodes like this,

Mom will go back to Hoshiarpur,
you sit at the clinic...

...and I will be...

in Sonia's arms.

Sonia.

But because of this... this... Mom...

-This won't hurt Mom, right?
-You don't know my Mom!

My Mom is made of MRF tyre.
She's tenacious, she's unshakeable.

Mom! Are you all right?

Lord, stop playing the flute.

I'm ruined. What's come over my
Daughter-in-law all of a sudden?

She was fine until yesterday,
why has she turned into a serpent?

[UTENSIL CLANG]

You call this food?

I've been noticing that...

...you're not concentrating on
your work since many days.

-Get out of my house!
-Dear, I've been working in this house...

...for so many years.
No one has ever said a word to me.

Even I'll see who comes to works here!

Sure, go on.
I got a replacement for you.

-Who?
-Mom.

She has become fat by consuming
food at her son's house.

She won't die if she works a bit.

Besides, we will save some money.
So get out of my house.

But listen...

Mother, what did you
gain by sacking me?

Oh, how I respected you! And you turned
out to be just a maid. God help you!

Mom.

Some of my friends are coming
over in the afternoon.

Cook something special, only for...

-...six people.
-Daughter-in-law...

Please don't refuse.
I've heard that your hands work magic.

Let us try some.

-Naina, hurry, make it fast.
-I'm checking. Wait.

Look... oh!

-I lost again.
-There you are.

-May I ask something, Naina?
-Go ahead.

Have you ran out of luck ever
since you married Sameer?

Don't ask! I lost 20,000 to you.
I'll give you the rest later.

-No way.
-Excuse me, Naina, no credit in gambling.

-I want hard cash.
-Is that so?

-So keep my sacred necklace.
-What are you doing, my dear?

Are you gambling with
your sacred necklace?

Oh yes, it's the symbol of a marriage.
So what do I do?

Shall I wager on you?
That's a good idea, ladies!

I wager on her.

You are wagering a
worthless woman, Naina.

Oh no. She must at least
be insured for 2-3 lakhs.

Hear that? Insured for 2-3 lakhs!

-Do you also insure your maids here?
-Quiet.

How rude, Dolly!
She is my Mother-in-law.

If she gets angry, who will cook?

Mother-in-law! My respects.

-Shut up.
-My name is Dolly.

Try the food, Dolly.

Naina, is this food worth tasting?
It's so oily.

What is this, Mom?
You have put me to shame.

What's wrong with it?
My Father-in-law would lick his fingers.

No wonder he passed away so early.
Poor thing!

Shut up!

What on earth?!

What happened, Mom?

Hasn't my virtuous wife massaged
your feet and put you to sleep yet?

Feet? She'd even strangle me, son.

Book a railway ticket and send me home.

-Send me away, son.
-But you said you wanted her...

...as your Daughter-in-law for all the
lifetimes to come. Don't betray me now.

I was out of my mind.

Send me back to Hoshiarpur.

-I won't stay here.
-Mom, do you know what's the problem?

It's the TV serials. Put on any channel...

...and you'll find womenfolk fighting.
The poor Mother is always harassed.

Greetings. Welcome to Sanskar TV.

Beautiful. Exquisite, Mom.

Today's subject: Relationship between
Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law.

A Mother-in-law is like a Mother.

-Great thinking.
-Shut up. Let me listen.

Some daughters-in-law today treat their
Mothers-in-law like maidservants.

That's wrong. A Mother-in-law
is like a huge tree...

...under whose shadows we find everything.

Mom, are there any such
daughters-in-law in this generation?

Look, there indeed is!
Why don't you marry a girl of her type?

Mom, forget her type,
if you say, I'll marry this one.

Bless you, son.
Go ahead and marry her, son.

-I will be blessed.
-Okay, Mom.

Sonia.

My Sonia... where are you?

Your doctor is here. Sonia.

Your doctor is in a romantic mood.
Where are you, Sonia?

-[GLASS BREAKES] Help!
-PYARE: I'm in love with you.

And I know that you too love me.
So why don't you tell everyone?

Why don't you tell him?
Look, I'm a very bad man.

-SONIA:Please, let me go!
-PYARE: Why don't you understand?

I'm in love with you.
I can't live without you.

Tell me, you also love me.

-Please leave me. I don't love you!
-Pyare! No!

-Yes, yes! Yes!
-See? You said yes.

Though you refuse, you do love me.

-Tell me?
-Pyare!

-Now I can't tolerate anymore...
-Pyare...

Sameer.

Pyare, I won't spare you!

We were rehearsing.
Pyare has signed a new movie.

"Sweet Rape". Starring Pyare
Mohan as the obsessed lover.

You could only find my girlfriend
to rehearse a rape scene?

Sonia, when somebody touches you,
I become very touchy.

[GROANS]

Mr. Thapa, why are you gasping?

I climbed six storey's without
crutches, for your sake.

-You could've taken the elevator.
-One who can climb the Tiger Hills...

...without help in the Kargil war,
needs no elevator.

What I expected, and what
you turned out to be.

I? What have I done?

You roam around with the doctor.

But you can't stand me and spend
a few moments of love with me.

[THROAT CLEARING]

I always wished to have
a girlfriend like you.

I too wished for someone's support.
Like you supported me.

I don't expect an entire
lifetime with her...

...but of course, she should at least
spend a few moments of love!

Mr. Thapa...

Why didn't you tell me all this before?

-What?
-Never mind.

-Come home tonight?
-Home? Whose?

The doctor's.

Don't be afraid. We'll go out.

Mr. Thapa, stop!

Go.

Don't forget, Mr. Thapa. We have a date!

I've done it!

Doctor, I'm coming tonight.

Mr. Thapa, come on.

Careful!

Ouch.

Slowly, slowly.

Ms. Naina, this is not right.
What are you doing?

You brought a cripple to a
discotheque, to dance?

That's because this is one place
where my boss would never come.

-Boss? Who?
-The doctor.

-Oh, then it's fine.
-Right?

Thank you, old man.

Baby...

Thank you, darling.

-Such a lovely place.
-I know.

You know what's special about here?
Nobody will disturb us.

Vicky, isn't that the doctor's wife?

-Who's that with her?
-Must be her new boyfriend.

[INDISTINCT]

Isn't that the doctor?

Who's the girl with her?

Must be his new girlfriend
or his soon to be wife.

-Forget it.
-And who's that boy?

Must be the doctor's fiancée's...
Concentrate on me! Don't look around.

-Sameer, there's your wife.
-Oh my God!

Doctor, how many wives do you have?
I can see them everywhere.

Excuse me! Hello! I have only one wife,
who is seen around with many of late.

Ms. Naina, the doctor is here too!

Oh.

Don't worry. He's the boss during the day,
I'm the boss during the night.

-Let's dance, Mr. Thapa.
-I'll go and freshen up.

-Just one dance will freshen you up.
-You don't understand.

I need to pee. Hold this.

Toilet.

Awesome!

"Why am I like this?"

"Why am I like this?"

Carry on, friend.

So do I.

"Why am I like this?"

[UNZIP]

"Why am I like this?"

"It's just the way I am."

So peaceful!

Must I wash my hands or not?

I won't!
I will shake hands this way with everyone.

Love crippled Thapa.

Else, he'd have danced too.

Naina, I love you.

Naina, I'm coming.

Will you woo my nurse?!

Back off!

What are you doing?

"When I set my eyes..."

"...upon you."

"When I set my eyes upon you,"

"my heartstrings strummed, my love."

"Though I am restless and unheeded,
I'm confident now, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"When I set my eyes upon you,"

"my heartstrings strummed, my love."

"Though I am restless and unheeded,
I'm confident now, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"I don't know how I fell in love."

"But this wait is just killing me."

"My love."

"My love."

"When our gazes met, I confirmed."

"My lonely heart found restlessness."

"My love."

"My love."

"You've had a tremendous effect on me."

"I'm young,
and this night is seducing me."

"Though I am restless and unheeded,
I'm confident now, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

I'm healed!

I can dance!

Ms. Naina, thank you! I'm healed!

I'm healed!

I can walk, I can dance.

"Give in to my passions."

"Just commit this beautiful sin for once."

"My love."

"My love."

"Live for my love, die for my love."

"In return, I shall grant you any wish."

"My love."

"My love."

"Sweetheart, you are the
destination of my love."

"I'm drunk on your love."

"Though I am restless and unheeded,
I'm confident now, my love..."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

Get lost!

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"When I set my eyes upon you,"

"my heartstrings strummed, my love."

"Though I am restless and unheeded,
I'm confident now, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

"You are the one for me!
You are mine, my love."

My love, you are mine.

-Sameer, what happened?
-Nothing. Naina is drunk.

DJ, one more time!

Uncle, it's twelve! Get lost.

DJ, one more time!

-Hi, Naina.
-Hi. Good morning.

Hi, Naina.

-Good morning, doctor.
-Good morning.

What's this?
You have worn last night's dress

-I didn't have the time to change.
-What?

You didn't go home?
Where were you all night?

All night? Don't ask!
I never had such fun in my life.

I could see that.
I saw what fun you had last night.

That was nothing.
The real thing happened after you left...

-...when the two of us went to the beach.
-To the beach?

-The two of you?
-Yes.

-Two of you, who?
-I and Pyare.

-Pyare?
-Pyare Mohan.

Pyare Mohan!

You went to the beach with Pyare Mohan?
Do you know what sort of a man he is?

Doctor, not a word against Pyare.
He is a very nice and decent man.

I saw last night how
decent and nice he is.

The way he was glued
to you while dancing!

Doctor, I can smell envy.

Envious and me?
No way. I'm ashamed.

-Ashamed?
-It hurts me to see...

...the way you behaved with
my girlfriend's 'just' friend!

When the whole world knows
that you are my wife!

Wife?

Wife?

Whose wife? What wife?

Mrs. Naina Malhotra!
You have made a joke out of me.

A joke.

I'm not your wife.

I'm not your wife, doctor.

I can't fake it anymore.

I'm tired of it, I can't tolerate it.

Tolerate? What've I done
that you are tolerating me?

Your filthy girlfriends, filthy friends,
pathetic demands... need I say more?

Have you ever imagined how it
hurts me to support your lies?

No, I can't do this anymore.
I want freedom.

Freedom? Go, you are free.
Who do you think you are?

There are thousands of nurses who
will work for me, for lesser pay.

-Sure, find one or I'll find one for you.
-No, thanks!

I'll find a nurse of my choice.

All right.

Here's the drawer that carries the
letters of all your girlfriends.

There's your bank statements, there's
the patients' case histories, and...

...inside this drawer you will find
your girlfriends' shoes, clips, etc.

If you forget everything, then
there's a list inside in this drawer.

Anything else you want to ask?

No, nothing.

Okay, I'm leaving.

Listen...

Yes?

Where's the fish food?

See, I forgot that.
Inside their tummies!

Pyare.

Pyare.

Pyare, get up. Are you still dreaming?

I've stopped dreaming.
My dreams don't come true anyway.

Forget it. I'm getting married
today and you are my best friend.

Why aren't you ready yet?
Come on, get up.

Sonia, I won't attend your marriage.

-Why not?
-Why should I attend?

That doctor is marrying for the second
time, and I'm not even married once.

What kind of justice is this?
I won't attend anyone's wedding...

-...unless I myself get married.
-Look Pyare...

if you do that,
I'll never meet you henceforth.

You will not meet me after
your marriage, anyway!

You won't attempt suicide,
I won't come to rescue you either.

Fine.

-I'll still wait for you.
-I'll still wait for you!

You look exquisite and happy too.

Naina.

-Hi.
-What are you doing here?

I'm boarding the evening flight to
Canada... and settling there permanently.

Before leaving, I wanted to tell you
something about myself and Sameer.

I'm not Sameer's wife, Sonia.

What?

-Then who is Sameer's wife?
-Nobody.

Sameer isn't married.

May I ask something?
Why are you telling me all this now?

I'm a nurse, Sonia.

Be it a wound or a relationship,
it must never be left open.

God bless you.

From now on, you will share all your
wife's joys, sorrows and everything.

-Right?
-Right, Father.

Mr. Sameer Malhotra, do you
accept Ms. Sonia as your wife?

Of course, Father.

Ms. Sonia, do you accept
Mr. Sameer Malhotra as your husband?

No, Father.

What?

Sonia, I'll be ruined.
What are you saying?

Look Sameer, we are standing
in a church, before God.

At least today you should
be telling me the truth.

What?

Jesus! What accusation is this?
When did I lie to you?

When did you not lie? First you said,

you have wife and kids.

Then you said your
wife has a boyfriend.

You even lied to your Mother.
Aren't you ashamed?

Sounds like this is Naina's doing!

She just can't digest things.
Thank God I drove her out.

Sameer, why did you tell all those lies?

To make you belong to me, Sonia.
I love you dearly.

And why did Naina stand by you
in your lies, all the while?

Because she...

...considers me her boss.
She takes a fat pay packet from me.

Besides, not every "why"
has an answer, Sonia.

No, Sameer.
This particular "why" has an answer.

Naina stood by you, because
she loves you dearly, Sameer.

Really.

You must marry the
person who loves you.

Correct. I madly love you.

Please, marry me.

Really?

Suppose, Naina and I were
in a sinking boat,

who would you save?

-I don't know!
-I'll save the boat.

-The boat!
-The boat?

If he saves the boat,
you will be saved, right?

Stay quiet! Did I say anything?
Let the boat sink if it's sinking!

No, no. If you ask me about
medicine, I have all the right answers.

But this quiz about who will drown,
I don't have an answer for that.

-You really love me, don't you?
-Yes.

-You want to see me happy?
-Yes.

Then ask yourself and tell me honestly,

are you the right man for me?

Tell me, Sameer.

Thank you, Sameer.
For the first time today,

you've spoken the truth
without even saying a word.

Go to the airport and stop Naina.

Else, you will lose her
in this lifetime too.

Sonia, did you ever imagine what
would happen to you without me?

Whatever happens, it will be good.

Sonia, I love you dearly.

Plumber, chauffeur, servant...

Lover... I'm willing to
become everything for you.

But on just one condition.

If you ever fall ill
and you need a doctor,

I won't ever take you to him! That's it.

Everything else is fine.
Please marry me.

But if you ever hurt her,
I'll beat you so much that...

...no doctor will ever
be able to cure you.

Let's go. Are you waiting to
see their honeymoon? Come on.

Amazing. You refused to marry before,
now girls are running away from you.

That reminds me... you should run.

Else, Naina will run away from India.
Come on.

Go! Go!

Don't weep, Sonia. I hate tears.

Tears.

Did Father vanish?

In the name of the Father, and of the
Son, and of the Holy Spirit...

Will you be my wife?

'But how will you go all
alone on a honeymoon?'

-'You mean, I stay back and you go there?'
-'Right.'

'A husband, who never lies.'

'You will have to find him yourself.'

SAMEER: I can't find a
better nurse than Naina.

'She takes care of my clinic,
my food, everything; like a good wife.'

'Whose wife? What wife?'

'Mrs. Naina Malhotra.
You have made a joke out of me.'

-Hello?
-Hello Naina?

Vicky, what's up?
Where are you talking from?

I'm talking from my mouth!
Listen, just get off the plane.

Get off the plane? What are you saying?

My sixth sense says there's something
wrong with the plane, seriously.

Get off.

I can't hear you, I'm inside the plane.
Speak loudly.

Naina, I have an intuition.

There's something wrong with that plane.

There's a problem with the
left magwheel of that plane.

Vicky, there you go again!
Nothing's wrong with the plane.

I'm sitting inside the plane.
Stop being naughty.

Hang up. Bye.

Listen Naina...

-Was she convinced?
-I don't know, buddy.

-Let's try at the airport.
-Come on.

What?

What happened?

-The phone.
-Oh this! It's nothing.

My stupid friend said,

there's something wrong with the left
magwheel of the plane. He's so naughty!

-Something's wrong?
-No, don't be scared.

He's just joking. Besides,
he's always 90 percent wrong.

But, he can be 10 percent right.

-Well, anyone can be.
-No!

I'm not flying! No way.

-You have become serious...
-Guys, something's wrong with the plane.

-I'm leaving, you must come along.
-What happened, sir?

Something's wrong with the
left magwheel of the plane.

Sir, but this plane doesn't
have a left magwheel.

See!

Gosh! There's no magwheel at all!
Come on, folks.

-Listen to me.
-Thank you, Ma'am.

-Excuse me. Wait.
-Hello.

Goodness! What is this man!

Another traffic jam in my love-story.

In Mumbai, should guys woo
girls or clear traffic jams!

Thapa!

Stop, Thapa!

[SHOUTING]

-Thapa, your feet?
-Don't touch my legs, doctor.

My legs are fine, please let me go.

-Why did you hit me?
-I beg of you.

Naina is leaving Mumbai. She's at the
airport. Please take me to the airport.

Sorry, I got to deliver
this pizza in 20 minutes.

-What's more important? Pizza? Or love?
-Pizza.

Pieces of pizza fill your stomach.

-And when love is torn apart?
-It kills the lover!

Correct.

Not another word! I have all
the roads of this city mapped.

-I will drop you there in 20 minutes.
-Thank you.

Come on!

-We'll reach before Naina leaves!
-Back off!

Hurry up, Thapa, for your scooter's sake.

"Keep moving. Keep moving."

Faster! Faster!

Fast! It's about your
scooter's reputation!

-Come on.
-My dear Naina...

Thapa is helping me!

Please go. We have checked
the aircraft. There's no problem at all.

-I told you. Come on. Let's go.
-No way!

I'm not flying in this plane.
It doesn't have magwheels.

Look, please don't listen to him.
Let's go please.

Please listen to him.
You are responsible for your own lives.

All the best. Bye, bye.

What's wrong with him!

Thank you.

Naina...

There she is!

-Excuse me...
-One minute.

Sir... you?

Go on, tell her.
Am I suppose to say it?

Go on.

-Madam please, we can't wait.
-One minute.

I left Sonia, Naina.

You left Sonia?
Or did Sonia leave you?

One and the same thing.

Naina...

Actually Naina, I'm used to your smile,
your different ways.

Madam, we can't wait.

If you leave, my office,
my family, my life...

...will be ruined all in one go!

-Madam, are you coming or not?
-Excuse me, please.

Wait a moment.

Here's what we do, Naina.
I'm not your boss anymore.

You be my queen and I'll be your slave.

You hold my bridle. Naina,

I do lie at times,
but these tears are not fake.

You mustn't torment the one you love.

You are leaving the house,
but I'll be rendered homeless.

This is not fair, isn't it Naina?

Madam please, let's go.
We can't wait anymore.

Otherwise you will miss the flight.
Let's go.

Look Naina... I'm falling from the sky.

-You are my parachute.
-Ma'am, please.

You are the truth and I'm the lies.

Don't leave me, Naina.
I'm perfect for you...

-...just the way I am.
-Ma'am, please!

I swear Naina, I am perfect for you...

-She's gone too.
-Yeah.

-Found anyone?
-No.

No one's worth it.
Come, let's try elsewhere.

-Auntie...
-Naina! Stop, my dear!

-Stop, my dear!
-Stop, Auntie.

-Stop!
-Stop!

-Stop, Naina!
-Look at them! Crazy people!

It's your Mother!

Mom...!

-Stop, my dear!
-Auntie!

Stop, Auntie.

Children...

-Stop, my dear!
-Auntie, stop!

-Stop, dear!
-Stop, Auntie.

-What are you doing here?
-Naina, I know everything.

-You were at the hostel... Mom...
-Please don't leave us, Auntie.

Please, Auntie.

Where are you going, my dear?

If you want to leave, fine.
But tell me something.

In this false show of marriage,

didn't your heart beat
even once for Sameer?

When he scolded you,

when he admired you,
when he touched you,

didn't your heartstrings strum?
Tell me, my child.

-They did, I know.
-You shut up.

What have I done?

My child, you faked it all the
while when you harassed me.

But now you are really harassing
me and it's killing me. Look dear,

I have never hit anyone.

Don't blame me if I hit you now.

My child...

Mom, hit me. I've made a huge mistake.

-Forgive me please.
-No, dear.

-Get up, dear.
-I never would have made this mistake.

It's entirely your son's...

-Thank you, Naina.
-Not thank you,

-apologise to her. Say sorry!
-Sorry, Naina.

Good boy.

-Okay Mom, can we go home now?
-Let's go.

-Come on, children. Let's go.
-Come.

-Well, my lord...
-Yes?

-Won't you come home?
-Just...

That's it! No excuses!

Excuse me... is she
boarding the flight or not?

Why'd she fly when she has found
a nice boy to hang out with?

On second thoughts,
can you wait for three more days?

She'll certainly come back crying...
guaranteed!

I'd rather be a doctor
than an actor, man!

Move!

My pipe is... blocked!

What's with you?

I have driven several crows...

I love you!

Why now?

Auntie, what are you doing?
Do want to kill me?

Why are you catching us? His girlfriend
is leaving him and going away!

Kick it...!

-It came up to here through my legs.
-Careful!

Wait!

Illegitimate...

Let me enter the house...