All language subtitles for 02 - The Night Of The Golden Cobra (09.23.1966)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,432 --> 00:00:52,266 Oh, I got you a couple of times there, didn't I? 2 00:00:52,268 --> 00:00:53,668 Yeah, got me good right here. 3 00:01:05,849 --> 00:01:08,483 Well, Henrietta, my fine-feathered darling, 4 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:11,219 what little message are you bearing? 5 00:01:11,221 --> 00:01:12,754 From the look on Henrietta's face 6 00:01:12,756 --> 00:01:14,422 it's probably a bill from my tailor. 7 00:01:34,143 --> 00:01:35,844 We'll know soon enough. 8 00:01:40,983 --> 00:01:42,283 Ah. 9 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:50,058 "From the office of Colonel Armstrong, 10 00:01:50,060 --> 00:01:52,060 "commendation on a job well done. 11 00:01:52,062 --> 00:01:54,829 "Proceed to layover in New Orleans 12 00:01:54,831 --> 00:01:56,998 "pending further assignment. 13 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,467 Presidential citation to follow." 14 00:02:00,503 --> 00:02:02,170 How about that? 15 00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:04,372 A presidential citation. 16 00:02:06,976 --> 00:02:08,877 And a layover in New Orleans, 17 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:11,646 dining � la carte at Maxine's. 18 00:02:13,849 --> 00:02:15,416 Yeah. 19 00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:19,387 If I may mention the, uh, lovely ladies in New Orleans. 20 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:22,857 By all means mention it. 21 00:02:22,859 --> 00:02:24,759 I'm going to enjoy this. 22 00:02:32,468 --> 00:02:34,435 Tsk, tsk, tsk. 23 00:02:36,806 --> 00:02:37,806 Artie. 24 00:02:37,808 --> 00:02:39,040 Mm-hm. 25 00:02:39,042 --> 00:02:41,375 Maybe it's another citation. 26 00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:43,444 Oh, our cup couldn't run over. 27 00:02:48,184 --> 00:02:50,418 Disregard... 28 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,753 previous... 29 00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,622 instructions... 30 00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:57,391 and proceed at once 31 00:02:57,393 --> 00:03:01,529 to Pawnee Indian reservation, 32 00:03:01,531 --> 00:03:04,833 Crater, Oklahoma. 33 00:03:05,836 --> 00:03:10,005 Top-secret classification. 34 00:03:10,007 --> 00:03:13,975 Contact Colonel Stanton Mayo. 35 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,882 Well, 36 00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:25,419 there goes our pleasant little layover in New Orleans. 37 00:03:45,074 --> 00:03:46,607 Whoa. 38 00:03:46,609 --> 00:03:48,109 I like nothing better than a brisk ride 39 00:03:48,111 --> 00:03:49,410 in the morning. 40 00:03:49,412 --> 00:03:50,779 The president of the United States 41 00:03:50,781 --> 00:03:52,814 didn't send me here for exercise. 42 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,649 Why don't we get right to the point, colonel? 43 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,517 You're quite right, Mr. West. 44 00:03:56,519 --> 00:03:57,952 You've been very patient. 45 00:03:57,954 --> 00:04:01,656 Now the time has come for me to tell you why I asked for you. 46 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,225 I don't know what you've been told up to now. 47 00:04:04,227 --> 00:04:07,729 But I am Colonel Stanton Mayo, Territorial Indian Commissioner. 48 00:04:07,731 --> 00:04:10,631 Highly respected, solid, 49 00:04:10,633 --> 00:04:13,434 foursquare, both feet on the ground. 50 00:04:13,436 --> 00:04:15,937 But, Mr. West, 51 00:04:15,939 --> 00:04:17,371 I am no coward. 52 00:04:17,373 --> 00:04:18,773 Yet recently, I've been wrestling 53 00:04:18,775 --> 00:04:20,341 and trying to come to terms with things 54 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:22,077 that have made me doubt my own sanity. 55 00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:24,345 Things that just don't belong. 56 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,480 Things that- 57 00:04:26,482 --> 00:04:27,816 Like that. 58 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:32,020 What's that? 59 00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:20,255 A maharajah's palace? 60 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,692 Ridiculous. 61 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,928 And what really is so ridiculous about it? 62 00:07:28,797 --> 00:07:30,298 About what? 63 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,867 About a maharajah's palace, which this happens to be. 64 00:07:34,403 --> 00:07:35,770 And I'm Napoleon. 65 00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,406 I beg your pardon. 66 00:07:38,408 --> 00:07:41,042 I'm registering disbelief, Rapunzel. 67 00:07:42,878 --> 00:07:45,613 My name is Veda. 68 00:07:45,615 --> 00:07:47,215 Why don't you believe me? 69 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:50,184 Next you'll be telling me you're the maharajah's daughter. 70 00:07:50,186 --> 00:07:52,453 I am. 71 00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:54,956 My father is the maharajah of Karapur. 72 00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:57,458 Ah, I'm sorry I brought it up. 73 00:07:57,460 --> 00:07:58,826 But since we emigrated 74 00:07:58,828 --> 00:08:00,929 to the United States of Northern America, 75 00:08:00,931 --> 00:08:04,732 he prefers to be known simply as Mr. Singh. 76 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,501 A very democratic gesture. 77 00:08:07,503 --> 00:08:10,471 Are you all right, Mr. West? 78 00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:15,243 I always feel a trifle faint when I'm bitten by a... 79 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,644 A cobra. 80 00:08:16,646 --> 00:08:17,946 Shouldn't I be dead? 81 00:08:17,948 --> 00:08:19,247 You should. 82 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,849 But Mudjaz is very clever about cobra bites. 83 00:08:26,989 --> 00:08:28,289 Charming little fella, 84 00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:30,591 I didn't recognize him without his flute. 85 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,928 Mudjaz is Papa's chamberlain of the Imperial Hooded Ones. 86 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,831 Or the family's snake charmer, so to speak. 87 00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:38,166 You might have thanked him. 88 00:08:38,168 --> 00:08:39,167 For what? 89 00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:40,969 For saving your life. 90 00:08:40,971 --> 00:08:43,504 He could have saved himself a lot of trouble 91 00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:45,039 if he hadn't zigged that cobra on me 92 00:08:45,041 --> 00:08:46,107 in the first place. 93 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:49,043 Which reminds me, Colonel Mayo? 94 00:08:50,145 --> 00:08:51,446 Slightly wounded, 95 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,248 but recovering very nicely, I am happy to say. 96 00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,517 My revered father, Mr. Singh. 97 00:09:27,116 --> 00:09:28,816 Why am I here, Mr. Singh? 98 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:32,353 That we may savor the pleasure of your company, Mr. West. 99 00:09:32,355 --> 00:09:35,123 That touches me deeply. 100 00:09:35,125 --> 00:09:37,358 Almost as deeply as your welcoming committee 101 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,993 tried to with their lances. 102 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:42,096 Oh, those blundering idiots. 103 00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:43,931 But there, I don't have to tell you 104 00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:46,834 what a trial servants can be, huh? 105 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,670 Uh, Veda, tell your baby brothers 106 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,639 that Mr. West is awake. 107 00:09:53,909 --> 00:09:55,009 Change that. 108 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,378 Mr. West is going. 109 00:09:57,380 --> 00:10:01,416 Going? Oh, but the boys are so anxious to meet you. 110 00:10:01,418 --> 00:10:03,984 And I'll take Colonel Mayo with me, if you please. 111 00:10:03,986 --> 00:10:05,353 Where is he? 112 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,821 Or do we have to have a round of hide-and-seek? 113 00:10:07,823 --> 00:10:10,291 Oh, dear. 114 00:10:10,293 --> 00:10:12,560 Are you sure there's nothing I can do 115 00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:14,395 to make you change your mind? 116 00:10:14,397 --> 00:10:15,463 Positive. 117 00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:23,371 This is Gupta. 118 00:10:26,942 --> 00:10:28,776 Chandra. 119 00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,913 Sarrkan, the baby. 120 00:10:33,715 --> 00:10:35,049 Don't tell me 121 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,251 that these splendid-looking young men are your sons? 122 00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:40,088 Quite true, quite true. 123 00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:43,624 The jewels of my heart's treasury. 124 00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:47,495 Eh, boys, this is the famous James West 125 00:10:47,497 --> 00:10:49,230 you've heard so much about. 126 00:10:53,469 --> 00:10:55,869 It occurs to me that it would be downright rude 127 00:10:55,871 --> 00:10:57,938 to leave without a little chat. 128 00:10:57,940 --> 00:10:59,107 What's going on here? 129 00:10:59,109 --> 00:11:01,142 There must be some explanation, I suppose. 130 00:11:01,144 --> 00:11:02,543 Oh, there is. 131 00:11:02,545 --> 00:11:05,379 And I will give it to you without further equivocation. 132 00:11:05,381 --> 00:11:10,485 Oh, that decanter at your elbow, it dispenses cashmere dew. 133 00:11:10,487 --> 00:11:14,155 A fine native wine with an extraordinary bouquet. 134 00:11:14,157 --> 00:11:16,491 Just the explanation, if you please. 135 00:11:16,493 --> 00:11:18,993 As you wish. 136 00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:22,196 It is my earnest hope that I can persuade you to stay 137 00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:25,466 and tutor these fledglings of mine. 138 00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:32,072 I see. Any particular subject? 139 00:11:32,074 --> 00:11:34,975 Oh, come, come, come, Mr. West. 140 00:11:34,977 --> 00:11:36,810 Surely you must be aware 141 00:11:36,812 --> 00:11:39,280 that your reputation has preceded you? 142 00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:41,048 Has it? 143 00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:42,850 What is my reputation? 144 00:11:42,852 --> 00:11:44,852 Oh, an admirable one. 145 00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:46,020 You have a talent I- 146 00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:49,757 I might almost say a genius for survival. 147 00:11:49,759 --> 00:11:52,793 Oh, you're flattering, Mr. Singh. 148 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,863 But survival embraces so many areas. 149 00:11:55,865 --> 00:11:57,165 And many so dull. 150 00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:59,634 Quite true, quite true. 151 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:03,204 Begging for mercy, hiding, running away. 152 00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:06,974 In none of which my boys are interested. 153 00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:10,077 Which effectively narrows it down to the one area 154 00:12:10,079 --> 00:12:12,746 in which they are interested. 155 00:12:12,748 --> 00:12:15,349 The gentle art of killing. 156 00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:20,054 Cashmere dew you say? 157 00:12:20,056 --> 00:12:21,589 I believe I will try it. 158 00:12:27,362 --> 00:12:32,266 Candor causes me to admit that my boys have a certain... 159 00:12:32,268 --> 00:12:34,968 crude proficiency of their own. 160 00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:38,072 Just confirmed my private hunch, Mr. Singh. 161 00:12:38,074 --> 00:12:39,807 Cangue. 162 00:12:41,109 --> 00:12:42,843 The crate. 163 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:46,647 Fondly called the lingering embrace in our circle. 164 00:12:46,649 --> 00:12:49,116 Had Gupta aimed a little higher, 165 00:12:49,118 --> 00:12:52,152 your neck would have been instantly snapped. 166 00:13:01,430 --> 00:13:02,896 The charmed circle you talked about, 167 00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:04,232 what is it? 168 00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:09,503 I'm referring to the Society of the Golden Cobra, 169 00:13:09,505 --> 00:13:13,040 of which I am the temporal and spiritual head. 170 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,209 As for tutoring your boys, 171 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,511 isn't that a case of coals to Newcastle? 172 00:13:17,513 --> 00:13:19,947 Oh, not at all, Mr. West. 173 00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:22,950 Since we are newcomers to your splendid land 174 00:13:22,952 --> 00:13:24,552 of free enterprise, 175 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:28,723 it is only right that the children should, uh, absorb 176 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:32,593 the Western folkways of sudden extinction. 177 00:13:32,595 --> 00:13:34,729 You do see that, don't you? 178 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,298 Oh, when you put it that way, yes. 179 00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:40,701 Ah, then you will tutor them. 180 00:13:41,803 --> 00:13:42,803 No. 181 00:13:43,839 --> 00:13:46,907 Oh, these boys. 182 00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:52,913 Thirsty young minds reaching out to the deep well of your wisdom. 183 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,082 Oh, how can you refuse them? 184 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,017 Perhaps the well has gone dry, Papa. 185 00:13:58,454 --> 00:14:00,621 Boys, a shame. 186 00:14:00,623 --> 00:14:02,590 Just for that, I give you permission 187 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,392 to chastise them, Mr. West. 188 00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:15,135 They're youthful and high spirited. 189 00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:16,737 I am perfectly willing to overlook 190 00:14:16,739 --> 00:14:17,938 the whole matter, Mr. Singh. 191 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,273 Oh, no, no, no. 192 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,908 I wouldn't think of taking advantage 193 00:14:20,910 --> 00:14:22,710 of your generosity. 194 00:14:22,712 --> 00:14:24,712 They deserve a good lesson. 195 00:14:24,714 --> 00:14:27,348 Boys, pay attention and learn something. 196 00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:30,250 All right, boys. 197 00:14:30,252 --> 00:14:33,788 Class is called to order. Lesson number one. 198 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,523 You should always keep your opponent... 199 00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:38,326 off balance! 200 00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:40,328 Oh, well done, sir. 201 00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:43,096 Remember those words of wisdom, children. 202 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,135 Lesson number two, show your weapons, improvise. 203 00:14:56,045 --> 00:14:59,613 Now, Mr. West, tell us about lesson number three. 204 00:14:59,615 --> 00:15:01,148 Lesson number three? 205 00:15:03,452 --> 00:15:05,486 Rosebud. 206 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,654 Rosebud? 207 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:07,955 It's a box of matches. 208 00:15:07,957 --> 00:15:09,390 Of course. 209 00:15:09,392 --> 00:15:13,394 Is it? Or is it supposed to look like a box of matches? 210 00:15:13,396 --> 00:15:15,863 He's bluffing. 211 00:15:15,865 --> 00:15:19,967 Possibly. Or maybe this innocent little box contains- 212 00:15:19,969 --> 00:15:20,968 What? 213 00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:22,536 X-51. 214 00:15:22,538 --> 00:15:25,840 Oh, ripping, Mr. West. Ripping. 215 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:29,343 One of those ultra, ultra weapons your chaps 216 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,512 are always so keen on developing, huh? 217 00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:34,348 That's right, Mr. Singh. X-51. 218 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,350 At the slightest jar, it's detonated. 219 00:15:37,218 --> 00:15:39,553 Capable of destruction, 220 00:15:39,555 --> 00:15:41,422 disintegration. 221 00:15:41,424 --> 00:15:42,757 I still think you're bluffing. 222 00:15:42,759 --> 00:15:44,892 Be still, brother. 223 00:15:44,894 --> 00:15:46,761 What do you intend doing, Mr. West? 224 00:15:46,763 --> 00:15:49,296 I have an insane urge 225 00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:52,533 to end this whole dreary charade. 226 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,868 By throwing rosebud. 227 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,404 D-don't be ridiculous, Mr. West. 228 00:15:56,406 --> 00:15:57,905 That would be silly, wouldn't it? 229 00:15:57,907 --> 00:15:58,906 Very silly, sir. 230 00:15:58,908 --> 00:15:59,907 Oh, yes. Yes, sir. 231 00:15:59,909 --> 00:16:00,775 Very silly. 232 00:16:07,849 --> 00:16:09,349 They are matches! 233 00:16:09,351 --> 00:16:11,218 By George, you're right! 234 00:16:21,095 --> 00:16:22,396 This way, Mr. West. 235 00:16:25,434 --> 00:16:26,867 What do you have in mind, Rapunzel? 236 00:16:26,869 --> 00:16:28,201 You wish your freedom, do you not? 237 00:16:28,203 --> 00:16:29,870 That's an attractive notion, yes. 238 00:16:29,872 --> 00:16:30,871 Then if you follow me- 239 00:16:30,873 --> 00:16:32,205 First, let's find Colonel Mayo. 240 00:16:32,207 --> 00:16:33,407 Forget him. 241 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,042 We shall need enormous quantities of luck 242 00:16:35,044 --> 00:16:36,076 just to manage your escape. 243 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,545 All right, I'll find him myself. 244 00:16:42,116 --> 00:16:43,050 Not that door. 245 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:56,229 One door down, Rapunzel. How many more to go? 246 00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:57,498 Very well. 247 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,633 I'll take you to your precious Colonel Mayo. 248 00:17:13,215 --> 00:17:15,015 You can't have him, the door's locked. 249 00:17:17,118 --> 00:17:18,819 You just stand back. I'll fix it. 250 00:17:37,606 --> 00:17:38,806 Colonel Mayo. 251 00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:43,477 Is that you, West? 252 00:17:44,613 --> 00:17:46,179 Is it really you? 253 00:17:46,181 --> 00:17:48,215 What have they done to you? 254 00:18:29,424 --> 00:18:30,824 You see? 255 00:18:30,826 --> 00:18:32,492 You forgot again. 256 00:18:32,494 --> 00:18:35,162 The king moves in both directions. 257 00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:37,031 Forwards and backwards. 258 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,132 Remember that. 259 00:18:39,134 --> 00:18:40,534 All right, sir. 260 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,369 I'm very grateful that you take all the trouble 261 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,571 to teach me Parcheesi. 262 00:18:43,573 --> 00:18:45,372 Oh, for the last time, John Mountain-Top. 263 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,340 The name of this game is not Parcheesi, 264 00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:48,542 it's checkers. 265 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,510 Checkers. 266 00:18:50,512 --> 00:18:51,679 It's your move. 267 00:18:51,681 --> 00:18:53,480 Yes, Mr. Gordon, sir. 268 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:06,727 Another game and another quarter bet, 269 00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:07,728 Mr. Gordon, sir? 270 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,198 No, thank you very much, John. 271 00:19:18,974 --> 00:19:20,975 Oh, where the devil are they?! 272 00:19:24,212 --> 00:19:25,980 Never mind. 273 00:19:25,982 --> 00:19:28,448 Maybe perhaps you win next game. 274 00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:30,017 And for the last time, John, 275 00:19:30,019 --> 00:19:31,518 if I seem a little bit irritated, 276 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:35,222 it's not because I have lost two games of checkers in a row. 277 00:19:35,224 --> 00:19:36,824 Three, was it not? 278 00:19:36,826 --> 00:19:39,559 All right, three. 279 00:19:39,561 --> 00:19:42,129 Point is that Mr. West and Colonel Mayo 280 00:19:42,131 --> 00:19:43,530 have been gone all day long. 281 00:19:43,532 --> 00:19:45,633 And I'm just getting bored stiff sitting around here, 282 00:19:45,635 --> 00:19:47,400 waiting for them to show up. 283 00:19:47,402 --> 00:19:49,603 All right for me to have an idea, sir? 284 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:52,506 No, I'm not gonna play you another game of checkers. 285 00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:54,307 I don't care what odds you offer. 286 00:19:54,309 --> 00:19:57,144 Not about checkers, the colonel's horses. 287 00:19:57,146 --> 00:19:58,879 You want I should saddle one up for you to take 288 00:19:58,881 --> 00:20:00,714 a brisk invigorating ride? 289 00:20:00,716 --> 00:20:02,516 No, thank you, I've had enough fresh air 290 00:20:02,518 --> 00:20:03,684 in wide open spaces 291 00:20:03,686 --> 00:20:05,753 to last me for the rest of my life. 292 00:20:05,755 --> 00:20:09,189 You know anything interesting around this neck of the woods? 293 00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:13,027 There is... 294 00:20:13,029 --> 00:20:14,327 haunted castle. 295 00:20:14,329 --> 00:20:16,563 I don't want- 296 00:20:16,565 --> 00:20:17,665 What? 297 00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:19,633 It's just a joke, Mr. Gordon, sir. 298 00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:22,670 The Indian boys who do not have proper schooling like me, 299 00:20:22,672 --> 00:20:24,638 they claim it to be haunted. 300 00:20:26,574 --> 00:20:28,341 Claim what to be haunted? 301 00:20:28,343 --> 00:20:30,277 The castle near Box Canyon, sir. 302 00:20:30,279 --> 00:20:32,279 A castle out here? 303 00:20:32,281 --> 00:20:34,381 Whose? 304 00:20:34,383 --> 00:20:35,549 What's it look like? 305 00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:37,117 I have not seen it. 306 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,352 Colonel Mayo warned us to stay away. 307 00:20:39,354 --> 00:20:41,188 But the few Indians who did venture near it- 308 00:20:41,190 --> 00:20:44,624 I know, their hair turned white overnight from the experience. 309 00:20:44,626 --> 00:20:46,226 Oh, no, sir. 310 00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:48,729 Just severely frightened by the weird sounds 311 00:20:48,731 --> 00:20:50,530 and the terrible smells. 312 00:20:50,532 --> 00:20:53,567 But of course, these are ignorant superstitious Indians 313 00:20:53,569 --> 00:20:55,736 who do not have proper schooling like me. 314 00:20:56,671 --> 00:20:58,138 I see. 315 00:21:00,274 --> 00:21:03,911 Saddle up a couple of the colonel's best horses, John. 316 00:21:03,913 --> 00:21:08,015 You and I are going out for a brisk invigorating ride. 317 00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,116 All right, sir. 318 00:21:10,819 --> 00:21:12,686 To the jolly old castle. 319 00:21:14,055 --> 00:21:14,922 Oh, no, sir. 320 00:21:16,624 --> 00:21:18,558 It is haunted. 321 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:27,735 I was having a dream. 322 00:21:27,737 --> 00:21:29,569 A pleasant one we hope. 323 00:21:29,571 --> 00:21:31,304 No, a silly one. 324 00:21:31,306 --> 00:21:34,074 I dreamed I had fallen in the hands of my enemies. 325 00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:36,110 How nice to find instead you are in the midst 326 00:21:36,112 --> 00:21:38,445 of your admiring pupils, Mr. West. 327 00:21:38,447 --> 00:21:40,781 Ah, yes, it's a comfort. 328 00:21:48,556 --> 00:21:52,459 For you, Mr. West, a token of our, uh, esteem. 329 00:21:52,461 --> 00:21:55,062 Yes, an apple for the teacher, so to speak. 330 00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:57,164 Oh, for me? You shouldn't have. 331 00:21:57,166 --> 00:21:59,366 What is it? 332 00:21:59,368 --> 00:22:00,634 Should we tell him brothers? 333 00:22:00,636 --> 00:22:01,735 No. 334 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,536 Let it come as a delightful surprise, 335 00:22:03,538 --> 00:22:04,404 I say. 336 00:22:06,775 --> 00:22:09,042 Last time I saw a basket like that 337 00:22:09,044 --> 00:22:11,912 Mr. Mudjaz was in the wings playing a musical obbligato. 338 00:22:16,584 --> 00:22:18,551 A perfect set. 339 00:22:18,553 --> 00:22:19,920 You've thought of everything. 340 00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:22,222 Oh, for you we could do no less. 341 00:22:22,224 --> 00:22:23,723 Come brothers, we mustn't 342 00:22:23,725 --> 00:22:25,893 wear out our welcome with Mr. West. 343 00:22:25,895 --> 00:22:28,328 Oh, oh, don't leave on my account. 344 00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:30,964 I'm just hanging around. 345 00:22:30,966 --> 00:22:32,800 We must go, Mr. West. 346 00:22:32,802 --> 00:22:36,503 But it will comfort you to know that Mudjaz will remain. 347 00:22:36,505 --> 00:22:39,072 Yes, to entertain you with his music. 348 00:22:39,074 --> 00:22:42,176 I had a feeling that was the way it was going to be. 349 00:22:43,678 --> 00:22:45,913 By the way, Mr. West, 350 00:22:45,915 --> 00:22:49,349 you'll be more comfortable since we've removed this knife 351 00:22:49,351 --> 00:22:51,919 from that clever pocket in the back of your coat. 352 00:22:51,921 --> 00:22:53,253 And this ring of yours 353 00:22:53,255 --> 00:22:55,923 with the amazingly sharp diamond edge. 354 00:22:55,925 --> 00:22:58,158 You might have cut yourself with it. 355 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,260 Or the ropes maybe? 356 00:23:09,237 --> 00:23:10,971 Psst. 357 00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:11,972 Mudjaz. 358 00:23:14,475 --> 00:23:17,010 You understand English? 359 00:23:17,012 --> 00:23:18,445 Oh, yes, sahib. 360 00:23:18,447 --> 00:23:19,947 Oh, fine. 361 00:23:19,949 --> 00:23:22,382 Then don't bother playing on my account. 362 00:23:22,384 --> 00:23:25,485 Sahib, you do not want? 363 00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:27,187 Oh, it's, uh, nothing personal, 364 00:23:27,189 --> 00:23:29,589 but one long moment of uninterrupted silence 365 00:23:29,591 --> 00:23:30,590 is what I really want. 366 00:23:30,592 --> 00:23:31,691 You savvy? 367 00:23:31,693 --> 00:23:33,060 Oh, yes, sahib. 368 00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:37,697 Mudjaz. 369 00:24:17,939 --> 00:24:20,073 Why are you breathing so hard? 370 00:24:20,075 --> 00:24:23,110 It's the intoxicating nearness of you, Rapunzel. 371 00:24:23,112 --> 00:24:25,145 An idiotic name, who is Rapunzel? 372 00:24:25,147 --> 00:24:26,947 A storybook character. 373 00:24:26,949 --> 00:24:30,650 And like you, she had long golden hair. 374 00:24:30,652 --> 00:24:33,120 My hair is quite dark. 375 00:24:33,122 --> 00:24:36,223 And like you, Rapunzel couldn't make up her mind 376 00:24:36,225 --> 00:24:39,393 whether to play the role of savior or killer. 377 00:24:42,163 --> 00:24:43,596 I never tried to kill you. 378 00:24:43,598 --> 00:24:44,764 No? 379 00:24:44,766 --> 00:24:46,666 Then that was a prize-winning imitation 380 00:24:46,668 --> 00:24:48,902 you put on awhile back with the blow dart. 381 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:50,637 Really, Mr. West, 382 00:24:50,639 --> 00:24:52,739 you can be surprisingly dense. 383 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:54,007 Did it never occur to you 384 00:24:54,009 --> 00:24:56,543 that by drugging you I saved your life? 385 00:24:56,545 --> 00:24:59,079 That was the hard way to go about it, wasn't it? 386 00:24:59,081 --> 00:25:00,513 My dear brothers were due to arrive 387 00:25:00,515 --> 00:25:02,015 on the scene at any moment. 388 00:25:02,017 --> 00:25:03,516 After the way you'd knocked them about 389 00:25:03,518 --> 00:25:04,784 and humiliated them, 390 00:25:04,786 --> 00:25:06,619 do you have any idea what they'd have done to you 391 00:25:06,621 --> 00:25:08,688 if you hadn't been already unconscious? 392 00:25:08,690 --> 00:25:10,390 Probably cut my throat. 393 00:25:10,392 --> 00:25:11,691 Exactly. 394 00:25:11,693 --> 00:25:14,294 So at least I delayed that for a while. 395 00:25:14,296 --> 00:25:16,463 And don't call me Rapunzel. 396 00:25:16,465 --> 00:25:18,999 I'm sorry, and I'm very grateful. 397 00:25:19,001 --> 00:25:21,101 I guess this is just one of those difficult days 398 00:25:21,103 --> 00:25:22,602 when everything seems to go wrong. 399 00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:24,037 For instance, 400 00:25:24,039 --> 00:25:25,839 I could have sworn a flock of cobras 401 00:25:25,841 --> 00:25:28,575 were gonna make their debut out of that basket. 402 00:25:28,577 --> 00:25:30,510 My quaint brother's idea of a lark. 403 00:25:31,980 --> 00:25:34,681 Mudjaz told me, so I arranged to substitute myself. 404 00:25:34,683 --> 00:25:36,516 In my opinion, that's a definite improvement. 405 00:25:36,518 --> 00:25:37,650 What now? 406 00:25:37,652 --> 00:25:39,652 I've devised a plan for your escape. 407 00:25:39,654 --> 00:25:41,121 I'm interested, go on. 408 00:25:41,123 --> 00:25:43,156 The palace guards will be back shortly 409 00:25:43,158 --> 00:25:44,824 and unlock the cell door. 410 00:25:44,826 --> 00:25:46,659 Mudjaz would be here to supervise 411 00:25:46,661 --> 00:25:49,029 the removal of the basket of cobras, 412 00:25:49,031 --> 00:25:50,630 if you know what I mean. 413 00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:53,333 You expect me to get into that basket? 414 00:25:53,335 --> 00:25:55,635 I will be in the basket. 415 00:25:55,637 --> 00:25:56,870 And where will I be? 416 00:25:56,872 --> 00:25:58,338 Here, waiting to be brought back 417 00:25:58,340 --> 00:25:59,272 before my father. 418 00:26:00,741 --> 00:26:03,477 I've got a better idea. 419 00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:06,480 If I could only break out of this cell... 420 00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:09,082 Palace guards would cut you down immediately. 421 00:26:09,084 --> 00:26:10,984 Please, trust me, Mr. West. 422 00:26:14,455 --> 00:26:15,788 What do you have in mind? 423 00:26:15,790 --> 00:26:18,358 I want you to put yourself completely in my hands. 424 00:26:20,861 --> 00:26:23,397 I think that could be arranged. 425 00:26:23,399 --> 00:26:26,866 If only Papa wasn't such a great admirer of yours. 426 00:26:26,868 --> 00:26:27,867 Is he? 427 00:26:27,869 --> 00:26:29,036 Oh, yes. 428 00:26:29,038 --> 00:26:30,203 So much so that I know 429 00:26:30,205 --> 00:26:31,838 he'd adore having you as a son-in-law. 430 00:26:33,274 --> 00:26:34,841 You mean, you and me? 431 00:26:37,278 --> 00:26:39,913 And that would be a fate worse than death? 432 00:26:39,915 --> 00:26:42,916 Mr. West, that would be death. 433 00:26:42,918 --> 00:26:44,518 Are you familiar 434 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,387 with the old Indian burial custom called suttee? 435 00:26:48,222 --> 00:26:50,057 Uh, roughly. 436 00:26:50,059 --> 00:26:52,192 It's the old system where the wife 437 00:26:52,194 --> 00:26:54,561 is incinerated on a funeral pyre 438 00:26:54,563 --> 00:26:57,130 along with the deceased husband's remains. 439 00:26:57,132 --> 00:26:59,099 Which I always thought was carrying togetherness 440 00:26:59,101 --> 00:27:00,434 a little too far. 441 00:27:00,436 --> 00:27:02,001 Exactly. 442 00:27:02,003 --> 00:27:03,303 So if we were married, 443 00:27:03,305 --> 00:27:06,206 considering the hazards of your profession, 444 00:27:06,208 --> 00:27:08,775 you'd give me a very limited life expectancy. 445 00:27:08,777 --> 00:27:12,179 I never realized what a liability I was. 446 00:27:12,181 --> 00:27:14,181 Oh, Mr. West, you mustn't take this personally. 447 00:27:16,050 --> 00:27:18,718 I- I understand. 448 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,020 You know, you are not altogether unattractive. 449 00:27:21,655 --> 00:27:22,922 Oh... 450 00:27:22,924 --> 00:27:25,225 now you're just being kind, aren't you? 451 00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:26,960 Oh, no. 452 00:27:26,962 --> 00:27:29,996 In fact, I've even toyed with the idea 453 00:27:29,998 --> 00:27:32,566 that it might be rather pleasant to kiss you. 454 00:27:33,867 --> 00:27:35,268 We'll never know, will we? 455 00:27:35,270 --> 00:27:37,604 No. 456 00:27:37,606 --> 00:27:39,005 Such a pity. 457 00:27:46,314 --> 00:27:48,982 Promise me you won't let Papa talk you into marrying me. 458 00:28:22,299 --> 00:28:23,666 Mr. Gordon, sir, 459 00:28:23,668 --> 00:28:26,136 please tell me about man once more. 460 00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:29,072 Would it help you feel any better? 461 00:28:29,074 --> 00:28:31,141 All right, John Mountain-Top. 462 00:28:31,143 --> 00:28:32,608 What is man? 463 00:28:32,610 --> 00:28:35,845 Man is a superstitious animal, and he has been for many ages. 464 00:28:35,847 --> 00:28:37,213 Right. Why? 465 00:28:37,215 --> 00:28:39,615 Because every time something new arrives 466 00:28:39,617 --> 00:28:41,017 which frightens him, 467 00:28:41,019 --> 00:28:43,253 it is easier to invent an evil spirit 468 00:28:43,255 --> 00:28:46,055 who is responsible for some kind of nonsense. 469 00:28:46,057 --> 00:28:47,891 Then he doesn't have to think or reason. 470 00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:49,725 All he has to do is be afraid. 471 00:28:49,727 --> 00:28:51,261 Right. Is all that clear? 472 00:28:51,263 --> 00:28:52,328 Yes, sir. 473 00:28:52,330 --> 00:28:53,797 Because you explained so beautiful. 474 00:28:53,799 --> 00:28:55,364 Oh, not at all. 475 00:28:55,366 --> 00:28:57,566 It's just because you've lost your fear, that's all. 476 00:28:57,568 --> 00:28:58,968 It's clear because you're no longer 477 00:28:58,970 --> 00:29:00,369 being panicked into believing 478 00:29:00,371 --> 00:29:03,907 that this so-called castle, where we're going to, 479 00:29:03,909 --> 00:29:06,176 is haunted or any other such nonsense. 480 00:29:06,178 --> 00:29:07,977 Are we on the right road, John? 481 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,847 John? 482 00:29:10,849 --> 00:29:12,982 Come back here, 483 00:29:12,984 --> 00:29:15,351 you superstitious little idiot! 484 00:29:36,273 --> 00:29:37,707 You are Mr. Artemus Gordon? 485 00:29:37,709 --> 00:29:39,242 I am? 486 00:29:39,244 --> 00:29:40,376 Aren't you? 487 00:29:41,511 --> 00:29:44,113 I-I mean- I mean, y-yes, I am. 488 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:46,482 Look, lady, would you mind calling off your pussycat? 489 00:29:47,585 --> 00:29:48,584 Forgive me. 490 00:29:50,488 --> 00:29:51,487 Oh. 491 00:29:56,193 --> 00:29:58,294 Well, thank you very much. 492 00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:01,231 You are a friend and associate of Mr. West? 493 00:30:01,233 --> 00:30:03,032 Yes, I am. What about it? 494 00:30:03,034 --> 00:30:05,001 If you'll come with me, I'll explain. 495 00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:06,369 Uh, what about my horse? 496 00:30:06,371 --> 00:30:08,037 We'll send for him later. 497 00:30:08,039 --> 00:30:09,973 In that case, lead on, Miss, uh... 498 00:30:09,975 --> 00:30:11,140 What'd you say your name was? 499 00:30:12,143 --> 00:30:14,577 You can call me Rapunzel. 500 00:31:07,097 --> 00:31:08,965 Where is Mr. West? 501 00:31:08,967 --> 00:31:12,302 He's, uh, resting, Papa. 502 00:31:12,304 --> 00:31:16,839 Resting? But I sent those idiot guards for him. 503 00:31:16,841 --> 00:31:20,343 As our guest, he should be here enjoying the entertainment. 504 00:31:20,345 --> 00:31:22,578 That's true, Papa. 505 00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:25,681 But perhaps Mr. West is indisposed. 506 00:31:27,251 --> 00:31:29,218 Nonsense. 507 00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:31,354 He always struck me as the kind of man 508 00:31:31,356 --> 00:31:34,490 who refused to be indisposed. 509 00:31:34,492 --> 00:31:36,426 Well, don't sit there, fetch him. 510 00:31:58,849 --> 00:32:01,284 Pardon the delay, but I was tied up for a while. 511 00:32:01,286 --> 00:32:02,785 More fun and games, Mr. Singh? 512 00:32:02,787 --> 00:32:04,988 Mm, as you see, Mr. West, 513 00:32:04,990 --> 00:32:08,224 our great concern is for your entertainment. 514 00:32:08,226 --> 00:32:10,659 Oh, you're succeeding magnificently. 515 00:32:10,661 --> 00:32:12,528 For instance, the lovely surprise 516 00:32:12,530 --> 00:32:14,998 your boys provided me in the basket. 517 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,232 You liked it? 518 00:32:16,234 --> 00:32:17,733 Liked it? 519 00:32:17,735 --> 00:32:20,236 I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said I loved it. 520 00:32:20,238 --> 00:32:25,008 Our boys have high spirits but hearts of purest gold. 521 00:32:26,044 --> 00:32:27,710 Mmm. 522 00:32:44,995 --> 00:32:47,596 This absurd ape begins to weary me. 523 00:33:59,169 --> 00:34:02,004 One of the unique national treasures 524 00:34:02,006 --> 00:34:04,107 that India has given the world. 525 00:34:04,109 --> 00:34:05,941 The rope trick. 526 00:34:05,943 --> 00:34:09,479 Are you acquainted with this little exercise in magic, 527 00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:10,480 Mr. West? 528 00:34:10,482 --> 00:34:11,747 Magic? 529 00:34:11,749 --> 00:34:13,583 I always believed it was done with mirrors 530 00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:14,717 or mass hypnotism. 531 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,987 A thousand year pardon, sahib. 532 00:34:17,989 --> 00:34:19,989 You are a nonbeliever? 533 00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:22,158 Well, let's just say a doubter. 534 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:26,395 If I may be permitted to demonstrate. 535 00:34:49,986 --> 00:34:52,488 Therefore, 536 00:34:52,490 --> 00:34:56,159 I call upon and invoke the powers 537 00:34:56,161 --> 00:35:00,229 of the four secret corners of the domain of the crest 538 00:35:00,231 --> 00:35:04,500 and the power of the north. 539 00:35:04,502 --> 00:35:07,637 The power of the east, 540 00:35:07,639 --> 00:35:10,806 of the south, 541 00:35:10,808 --> 00:35:13,676 of the west. 542 00:35:25,855 --> 00:35:28,491 The powers of darkness 543 00:35:28,493 --> 00:35:31,026 are reaching for you. 544 00:35:32,896 --> 00:35:36,599 Extend yourself to meet them. 545 00:35:36,601 --> 00:35:39,001 Siddha! 546 00:35:39,003 --> 00:35:42,071 I, Variabus, 547 00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:45,341 I, Optimus, 548 00:35:45,343 --> 00:35:48,110 I, Baligos, 549 00:35:48,112 --> 00:35:52,448 I, Artemus- 550 00:35:52,450 --> 00:35:54,016 Grab, Jim! 551 00:36:09,833 --> 00:36:10,833 Follow me. 552 00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:12,101 Cute performance, Artie. 553 00:36:12,103 --> 00:36:14,103 I suppose you used the fine wires with the rope. 554 00:36:14,105 --> 00:36:17,106 Us magicians never reveal the secrets of our trade. 555 00:36:17,108 --> 00:36:18,407 Wait here for me. 556 00:36:18,409 --> 00:36:19,575 All right. 557 00:36:21,044 --> 00:36:22,411 Whatever you do, don't go in there. 558 00:36:22,413 --> 00:36:24,146 There's a tiger in there. 559 00:36:24,148 --> 00:36:25,080 Oh... 560 00:36:28,653 --> 00:36:30,152 There's a tiger in there. 561 00:36:30,154 --> 00:36:31,186 No. 562 00:36:36,493 --> 00:36:37,860 We must hurry. 563 00:36:59,149 --> 00:37:04,219 Oh, the noble horse, man's best friend. 564 00:37:05,522 --> 00:37:07,956 Well, maybe second best. 565 00:37:07,958 --> 00:37:09,492 Now you take care of Rapunzel 566 00:37:09,494 --> 00:37:10,959 with the long golden hair. 567 00:37:10,961 --> 00:37:13,262 Well, thank you. I'd be absolutely delighted. 568 00:37:13,264 --> 00:37:14,463 Let me have your gun. 569 00:37:14,465 --> 00:37:15,698 Hey, no, wait a minute. 570 00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:17,466 You're not going back up there without me. 571 00:37:17,468 --> 00:37:18,768 Don't argue with me. 572 00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:21,304 I've got some unfinished business to take care of. 573 00:37:21,306 --> 00:37:22,505 Your gun, please. 574 00:38:19,496 --> 00:38:21,930 Will you join us in a game of polo, Mr. West? 575 00:38:21,932 --> 00:38:23,366 What position do I play? 576 00:38:23,368 --> 00:38:24,400 You're the goal! 577 00:39:05,241 --> 00:39:07,075 This game is beginning to bore me. 578 00:39:07,077 --> 00:39:09,412 Perhaps we can change it, Mr. West. 579 00:39:09,414 --> 00:39:11,179 We'll let Mr. West be the ball. 580 00:40:17,481 --> 00:40:19,882 Ah, Mr. West, 581 00:40:19,884 --> 00:40:22,518 a man with a mission. 582 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,688 Which involves a question that I want answered. 583 00:40:25,690 --> 00:40:27,490 Where is Colonel Mayo? 584 00:40:27,492 --> 00:40:30,826 You know, suddenly I have an idea 585 00:40:30,828 --> 00:40:32,962 that you're going to win after all. 586 00:40:32,964 --> 00:40:35,063 I don't have time to indulge your ramblings. 587 00:40:35,065 --> 00:40:36,499 I said, "Where is Colonel Mayo?" 588 00:40:36,501 --> 00:40:38,100 Are you threatening me? 589 00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:40,636 Oh, dear, I'm much too old for that. 590 00:40:40,638 --> 00:40:42,237 Not too old to die. 591 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,439 Oh, come now. 592 00:40:44,441 --> 00:40:48,377 There's so little of me left to snuff out, why bother? 593 00:40:48,379 --> 00:40:50,178 And besides, Mr. West, 594 00:40:51,715 --> 00:40:54,917 we all know you have no talent for killing in cold blood. 595 00:40:56,586 --> 00:40:58,353 That can be a very serious handicap 596 00:40:58,355 --> 00:41:01,390 when you're dealing with people who have. 597 00:41:01,392 --> 00:41:02,391 Like you, colonel. 598 00:41:02,393 --> 00:41:04,593 Like me. 599 00:41:04,595 --> 00:41:05,828 Don't do anything foolish 600 00:41:05,830 --> 00:41:07,563 or I shall be forced to demonstrate. 601 00:41:10,033 --> 00:41:12,568 One side, sir. We have business with Mr. West. 602 00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:14,703 No. Very pressing business. 603 00:41:14,705 --> 00:41:16,204 Get rid of these clowns. 604 00:41:16,206 --> 00:41:18,507 Colonel Mayo is right. 605 00:41:18,509 --> 00:41:20,509 Run along, boys, and leave us. 606 00:41:20,511 --> 00:41:21,644 No, Papa. 607 00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:24,547 Not till we have settled with Mr. West. 608 00:41:24,549 --> 00:41:27,550 Boys, are you defying me? Go to your rooms. 609 00:41:27,552 --> 00:41:29,051 But, Papa- 610 00:41:29,053 --> 00:41:30,953 Not another word, sir. Go. 611 00:41:41,831 --> 00:41:46,134 You gentlemen, uh, flimflammed me very nicely. 612 00:41:46,136 --> 00:41:48,070 Do you mind telling me why? 613 00:41:48,072 --> 00:41:50,039 Our gracious host's idea. 614 00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:52,641 And not a good one as it turned out. 615 00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:56,378 You see, it seemed reasonable to me 616 00:41:56,380 --> 00:41:59,147 that if you saw firsthand evidence 617 00:41:59,149 --> 00:42:02,117 of how, uh, persuasive 618 00:42:02,119 --> 00:42:05,454 we were prepared to be, you'd be more cooperative. 619 00:42:06,957 --> 00:42:09,758 My getting to Colonel Mayo's room was no accident? 620 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,627 Oh, dear, no, quite the contrary. 621 00:42:11,629 --> 00:42:12,861 Although of course, 622 00:42:12,863 --> 00:42:15,731 Veda had no idea of how helpful she was being. 623 00:42:19,002 --> 00:42:20,235 And now you're going to tell me 624 00:42:20,237 --> 00:42:23,138 what you mean by cooperative, aren't you? 625 00:42:23,140 --> 00:42:24,439 Let's take the case 626 00:42:24,441 --> 00:42:27,476 of the hypothetical Indian Territorial Commissioner. 627 00:42:27,478 --> 00:42:28,978 Administrator of the welfare 628 00:42:28,980 --> 00:42:31,279 of a few thousand Pawnee Indians, 629 00:42:31,281 --> 00:42:33,749 who are living out their lives on a hundred square miles 630 00:42:33,751 --> 00:42:37,419 of worthless rock, scrub and desert. 631 00:42:37,421 --> 00:42:39,488 And then something happens. 632 00:42:39,490 --> 00:42:41,356 Can you guess what, Mr. West? 633 00:42:41,358 --> 00:42:44,259 The hypothetical commissioner discovers 634 00:42:44,261 --> 00:42:45,460 that the worthless rock, 635 00:42:45,462 --> 00:42:49,031 scrub and desert is no longer worthless. 636 00:42:49,033 --> 00:42:52,300 A pleasure to converse with you, sir. 637 00:42:52,302 --> 00:42:54,169 The legal boundaries of the Pawnee reservation 638 00:42:54,171 --> 00:42:56,005 have not been fixed as yet. 639 00:42:56,007 --> 00:42:58,807 It remains for them to decide whether to stay on here 640 00:42:58,809 --> 00:43:02,978 or move to a neighboring, precisely similar tract of land. 641 00:43:02,980 --> 00:43:04,880 Problem? 642 00:43:04,882 --> 00:43:07,716 The Pawnees have formed an attachment for the land, 643 00:43:07,718 --> 00:43:09,084 as Pawnees will. 644 00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:10,619 Precisely. 645 00:43:10,621 --> 00:43:14,422 And despite all the urgings of the hypothetical commissioner, 646 00:43:14,424 --> 00:43:16,025 they refuse to leave. 647 00:43:16,027 --> 00:43:18,360 All is lost? 648 00:43:18,362 --> 00:43:20,129 Not quite. 649 00:43:20,131 --> 00:43:23,132 Because there is one odd quirk in the Pawnee's makeup. 650 00:43:24,300 --> 00:43:26,802 To a man they deeply respect and trust, 651 00:43:26,804 --> 00:43:29,404 a certain James West. 652 00:43:29,406 --> 00:43:33,008 How did you ever manage to gain that status with them? 653 00:43:33,943 --> 00:43:35,577 Not by swindling them. 654 00:43:36,646 --> 00:43:38,881 And yet, Mr. West, 655 00:43:38,883 --> 00:43:42,918 the colonel and I are relying upon you 656 00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:46,288 to persuade the Pawnees to leave this tract of land 657 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,990 and move on to another. 658 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,095 Do you really think I will? 659 00:43:53,097 --> 00:43:56,331 I think you can be persuaded to, yes. 660 00:43:56,333 --> 00:43:58,633 Not just to save yourself pain. 661 00:43:58,635 --> 00:44:00,869 There's also Artemus Gordon to think of. 662 00:44:00,871 --> 00:44:02,037 And Veda. 663 00:44:03,173 --> 00:44:04,773 Veda? 664 00:44:06,442 --> 00:44:07,509 What do you mean? 665 00:44:07,511 --> 00:44:09,878 Quiet, old man. 666 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,715 Don't believe him, Mr. Singh, he's bluffing and badly. 667 00:44:12,717 --> 00:44:14,917 I sent Artemus and the girl away. 668 00:44:14,919 --> 00:44:16,719 Did you? 669 00:44:16,721 --> 00:44:17,720 Guards! 670 00:44:26,996 --> 00:44:29,898 Sorry, Jim, they had too big a reception committee 671 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:31,200 waiting for us. 672 00:44:31,202 --> 00:44:33,969 Guards, what is the meaning of this? 673 00:44:33,971 --> 00:44:37,005 Save your breath, Mr. Singh, they won't listen to you. 674 00:44:37,007 --> 00:44:38,974 They're mercenaries for sale to any buyer. 675 00:44:38,976 --> 00:44:39,975 I've outbid you. 676 00:44:46,315 --> 00:44:47,983 Be prudent, Mr. West. 677 00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,854 It must be quite a treasure you're sitting on 678 00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:53,122 to kill your partner. 679 00:44:53,124 --> 00:44:56,324 It is, Mr. West. It is. 680 00:44:56,326 --> 00:44:58,560 And I am going to show it to you. 681 00:44:58,562 --> 00:44:59,461 Guards. 682 00:45:00,429 --> 00:45:01,897 Tie him up. 683 00:45:15,444 --> 00:45:17,279 We're in the underbelly of the palace. 684 00:45:24,487 --> 00:45:26,121 And there's my treasury. 685 00:45:27,023 --> 00:45:28,991 Imagine that, oil. 686 00:45:28,993 --> 00:45:30,659 Yes, oil. 687 00:45:30,661 --> 00:45:35,363 oozing, rising, bursting out of the ground. 688 00:45:35,365 --> 00:45:39,201 All of which belonged to Mr. Singh originally. 689 00:45:39,203 --> 00:45:40,635 Yes, he discovered it 690 00:45:40,637 --> 00:45:42,871 while he was building this stately pleasure dome. 691 00:45:42,873 --> 00:45:45,507 He brought it to my attention and we became partners. 692 00:45:45,509 --> 00:45:47,976 A partnership so recently dissolved. 693 00:45:47,978 --> 00:45:49,477 Pity, isn't it? 694 00:45:49,479 --> 00:45:52,380 But I must tell you, gentlemen, about the geologist I engaged, 695 00:45:52,382 --> 00:45:54,283 about the report he gave me. 696 00:45:54,285 --> 00:45:55,884 Do you know how far this extends? 697 00:45:57,086 --> 00:45:59,121 No, but I'm sure you'll tell us. 698 00:45:59,123 --> 00:46:01,589 This is not just an oil well, gentlemen. 699 00:46:01,591 --> 00:46:03,959 It's an outcropping of a vast ocean of oil 700 00:46:03,961 --> 00:46:06,461 that extends for a hundred square miles around. 701 00:46:06,463 --> 00:46:09,631 How nice for the Pawnees, to whom it all belongs. 702 00:46:09,633 --> 00:46:11,133 They don't know about it, Mr. West, 703 00:46:11,135 --> 00:46:12,134 and they're not going to. 704 00:46:12,136 --> 00:46:14,002 The geologist does. 705 00:46:14,004 --> 00:46:15,871 How are you going to keep an ocean of oil a secret? 706 00:46:15,873 --> 00:46:17,172 You can. 707 00:46:17,174 --> 00:46:20,575 If the geologist had an unfortunate fatal accident 708 00:46:20,577 --> 00:46:22,377 right after submitting his report to me. 709 00:46:23,512 --> 00:46:25,047 I can't stop now, Mr. West. 710 00:46:25,049 --> 00:46:26,048 I don't care how you do it. 711 00:46:26,050 --> 00:46:28,050 But I want you to employ all your talents 712 00:46:28,052 --> 00:46:29,351 to get the Pawnees to move on. 713 00:46:30,686 --> 00:46:32,087 And if I fail? 714 00:46:32,089 --> 00:46:34,089 Then I shall be forced to prescribe 715 00:46:34,091 --> 00:46:37,159 a course of treatments for Veda. 716 00:46:46,269 --> 00:46:52,074 Two Sikh mercenaries have gone to join their ancestors. 717 00:46:52,076 --> 00:46:54,910 I expedited their departure. 718 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,248 And now, you, Colonel Mayo- 719 00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:01,449 Agh! 720 00:47:06,856 --> 00:47:09,557 No! Help me, I can't get out! 721 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:12,261 Help me! 722 00:47:12,263 --> 00:47:14,863 Oh, West! 723 00:47:14,865 --> 00:47:15,931 For the love of- 724 00:47:28,878 --> 00:47:31,713 It's a fitting burial ground, huh? 725 00:47:31,715 --> 00:47:33,515 For him. 726 00:47:49,332 --> 00:47:51,900 "To reciprocate in some way 727 00:47:51,902 --> 00:47:54,669 "for the wonderful kindness you both showed me 728 00:47:54,671 --> 00:47:56,604 "while I was in America. 729 00:47:56,606 --> 00:47:59,808 And so, dear Jim and Artemus, until my next visit." 730 00:47:59,810 --> 00:48:01,209 Did you want any help with that, Jim? 731 00:48:01,211 --> 00:48:02,978 No, thanks, Artie, go on with the letter. 732 00:48:02,980 --> 00:48:04,446 Right. 733 00:48:04,448 --> 00:48:06,982 Uh, where was I? Oh. 734 00:48:06,984 --> 00:48:08,483 "So, dear Jim and Artemus, 735 00:48:08,485 --> 00:48:11,153 "until my next visit to your lovely country. 736 00:48:11,155 --> 00:48:13,822 "You must remember me by the present I am sending you, 737 00:48:13,824 --> 00:48:16,058 "typical of India as nothing else is, 738 00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:17,492 "the Indian leopard. 739 00:48:17,494 --> 00:48:18,760 I hope that you both-" 740 00:48:18,762 --> 00:48:20,662 A leopard? 741 00:48:20,664 --> 00:48:21,997 She sent a leopard. 742 00:48:21,999 --> 00:48:24,666 I know, Artie. I can see that. 743 00:48:24,668 --> 00:48:27,102 But didn't you hear what I said? There's a leopard in there! 744 00:48:27,104 --> 00:48:28,370 Stand back, you fool! 745 00:48:32,809 --> 00:48:33,942 Jim! 746 00:48:43,886 --> 00:48:44,886 Artie. 747 00:48:46,123 --> 00:48:48,690 When are you going to stop being so emotional? 748 00:48:48,692 --> 00:48:51,326 Here, take care of her. I'll get her a saucer of milk. 749 00:48:53,663 --> 00:48:54,963 Oh, great. 750 00:48:54,965 --> 00:48:59,001 You sure are sweet. We know you'll be all right. 751 00:48:59,003 --> 00:49:01,336 There's a nice girl. 752 00:49:06,710 --> 00:49:09,111 Jim? 753 00:49:09,113 --> 00:49:11,313 You better make that two saucers of milk. 52465

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