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1
00:00:00,215 --> 00:00:03,673
And the same thing goes for quarterly
reports. They are unreadable.
2
00:00:03,751 --> 00:00:05,218
They're just numbers
and boring and...
3
00:00:05,286 --> 00:00:06,310
Blech!
4
00:00:06,387 --> 00:00:09,481
So what I was thinking is that maybe
we should have some sort of graphic,
5
00:00:09,557 --> 00:00:12,651
like if we have a bad quarter,
put in a storm cloud.
6
00:00:14,963 --> 00:00:18,558
And when we have
a good quarter,
7
00:00:18,633 --> 00:00:22,501
fireworks or a racecar.
8
00:00:23,404 --> 00:00:26,498
Doesn't have to be a racecar.
Use your imagination.
9
00:00:26,574 --> 00:00:29,304
There's this cube on the screen,
and it bounces around all day,
10
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:33,211
and sometimes it looks like it's heading
right into the corner of the screen,
11
00:00:33,281 --> 00:00:36,375
and then at the last minute, it
hits a wall and bounces away.
12
00:00:36,451 --> 00:00:39,818
We are all just dying to see
it go right into the corner.
13
00:00:42,023 --> 00:00:45,891
Pam claims that she saw it one day when
she was alone in the conference room.
14
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,861
Okay. I believe she
thinks she saw it.
15
00:00:49,464 --> 00:00:52,194
I saw it. I saw it,
and it was amazing.
16
00:00:52,267 --> 00:00:54,428
Who said I didn't see it? Did
Jim say that I didn't see it?
17
00:00:54,502 --> 00:00:55,560
I saw it.
18
00:00:55,803 --> 00:00:58,567
We have a lot
of colored paper here.
19
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,006
Why, oh, why do we keep
printing this on white?
20
00:01:01,075 --> 00:01:02,838
No! Come on!
21
00:01:02,911 --> 00:01:05,209
Yeah! I know.
22
00:01:05,947 --> 00:01:07,209
I know.
It's bland.
23
00:01:07,282 --> 00:01:08,442
It's never going
to happen.
24
00:01:08,516 --> 00:01:10,347
Dude, you gotta believe.
25
00:01:10,518 --> 00:01:13,043
Maybe we could have
some sort of riddle?
26
00:01:13,121 --> 00:01:14,145
Wait for it.
27
00:01:14,222 --> 00:01:20,058
Like something that you have to
look for, sort of a Where's Waldo?
28
00:01:24,632 --> 00:01:26,759
All right. All right.
Let's quit while we're ahead.
29
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:28,131
That was so awesome.
30
00:01:28,203 --> 00:01:30,535
That was awesome.
Thank you.
31
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:36,101
Some days I am just on fire.
What can I say?
32
00:02:09,978 --> 00:02:11,502
Hey. There he is.
33
00:02:11,579 --> 00:02:13,274
Hey, Meredith.
How are you feeling?
34
00:02:13,348 --> 00:02:15,077
I never thanked you
for coming to the hospital.
35
00:02:15,149 --> 00:02:17,640
Oh, please. It was my pleasure.
Well, we all came, so...
36
00:02:17,719 --> 00:02:19,949
Well, I really appreciate
you coming.
37
00:02:20,021 --> 00:02:21,955
I'm singling you out.
38
00:02:23,124 --> 00:02:25,251
Anyway, I have
this Sharpie,
39
00:02:25,326 --> 00:02:28,022
and I was wondering
if you could sign my cast.
40
00:02:28,129 --> 00:02:29,562
Mmm-hmm.
41
00:02:34,736 --> 00:02:35,896
Can you write
where I can read it?
42
00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,369
Oh, yeah.
43
00:02:43,211 --> 00:02:45,441
I'll read this
when I get home.
44
00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:46,878
All right.
45
00:02:50,218 --> 00:02:52,516
Michael, this is the press
release I was telling you about.
46
00:02:52,587 --> 00:02:54,316
Ryan wants you to
share it with everyone.
47
00:02:54,389 --> 00:02:55,651
Does he?
48
00:02:55,723 --> 00:02:56,985
He does.
49
00:02:57,859 --> 00:02:59,952
Okay. Attention.
50
00:03:00,028 --> 00:03:02,019
Earthlings,
I have some news.
51
00:03:02,096 --> 00:03:05,190
Beep, beep, beep.
52
00:03:05,266 --> 00:03:06,824
Beep, beep, beep. Okay.
53
00:03:06,901 --> 00:03:10,803
Today is the big day that I'm heading
to New York to attend a party
54
00:03:10,872 --> 00:03:12,897
with sushi and
important people.
55
00:03:13,141 --> 00:03:16,008
On an unrelated note, if anybody
has an interesting anecdote
56
00:03:16,077 --> 00:03:17,977
that is not boring
and easy to memorize,
57
00:03:18,046 --> 00:03:20,913
please drop by my office before I leave.
Thank you.
58
00:03:21,616 --> 00:03:23,948
Is that really what Ryan
wanted you to tell us?
59
00:03:24,018 --> 00:03:29,581
And today, the Dunder Mifflin
Infinity website officially launches.
60
00:03:29,957 --> 00:03:33,518
Well, the website is the
brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan.
61
00:03:33,594 --> 00:03:35,653
It is my brain-grandchild.
62
00:03:35,730 --> 00:03:37,925
And to celebrate its birth,
63
00:03:38,099 --> 00:03:41,125
all of the different branches are
going to have satellite parties,
64
00:03:41,202 --> 00:03:44,968
which will be connected,
via webcams and fibers,
65
00:03:45,039 --> 00:03:47,735
to the real party, which is
going on in New York City
66
00:03:47,809 --> 00:03:50,801
at a very
exclusive nightclub.
67
00:03:50,878 --> 00:03:54,405
That is where
all of the VIPs,
68
00:03:54,482 --> 00:03:59,818
including yours truly, will be
partying with New York City's finest.
69
00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:01,878
And I do not
mean policemen.
70
00:04:02,223 --> 00:04:04,453
The company is projecting
record high sales,
71
00:04:04,525 --> 00:04:08,586
and that by 6:00, the website will be
the new best salesman in the company.
72
00:04:08,663 --> 00:04:09,891
Wow. Watch out, Dwight.
73
00:04:09,964 --> 00:04:12,694
That's ridiculous. I'm not
gonna be beaten by a website.
74
00:04:12,767 --> 00:04:13,961
Actually it sounds
like you are.
75
00:04:14,035 --> 00:04:15,969
Really?
'Cause Ryan says so?
76
00:04:16,037 --> 00:04:18,631
That's from Ryan? Does it
mention if he's seeing anybody?
77
00:04:18,706 --> 00:04:20,173
No, it doesn't.
I'll find out tonight.
78
00:04:20,241 --> 00:04:21,765
Yes, please let us know.
79
00:04:21,843 --> 00:04:23,936
I can make more
sales than a computer.
80
00:04:24,011 --> 00:04:27,378
In fact, I challenge that website
to make more sales than me today.
81
00:04:27,448 --> 00:04:28,881
Waste of time.
82
00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:30,281
What's that, pipsqueak?
83
00:04:30,351 --> 00:04:33,047
Waste of time. The
website's going to win.
84
00:04:33,121 --> 00:04:34,782
You believe a computer
can beat me?
85
00:04:34,856 --> 00:04:36,016
I don't care,
but yes.
86
00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:37,455
Well, I will
prove you wrong.
87
00:04:37,525 --> 00:04:39,356
I don't care, and you won't.
You'll see.
88
00:04:39,427 --> 00:04:41,224
I won't be watching,
and I won't.
89
00:04:43,431 --> 00:04:45,524
Dwight mercy-killed
Angela's cat.
90
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,492
It's very complicated.
91
00:04:48,703 --> 00:04:52,161
It's caused a lot of unpleasantness
between Dwight and Angela,
92
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,333
who were both already
prone to unpleasantness.
93
00:05:01,816 --> 00:05:03,545
Stanley,
you're dancing.
94
00:05:03,618 --> 00:05:05,085
No, I'm not.
95
00:05:07,121 --> 00:05:09,919
Yeah, I created a website.
96
00:05:09,991 --> 00:05:13,984
Look, at the end of the day, Apple's
apple is flying at 30,000 feet.
97
00:05:14,595 --> 00:05:16,085
This is a paper company,
98
00:05:16,164 --> 00:05:19,156
and I don't want us to get lost in
the weeds or into a beauty contest.
99
00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:21,565
I told you I don't want you
doing these things in here.
100
00:05:21,636 --> 00:05:23,968
You can use your own office
or do it in the hall.
101
00:05:24,539 --> 00:05:27,235
Convergence, viral marketing,
we're going guerilla,
102
00:05:27,308 --> 00:05:28,332
we're taking it
the streets,
103
00:05:28,409 --> 00:05:30,400
while keeping an eye on
the street, Wall Street.
104
00:05:30,478 --> 00:05:31,809
I don't want to reinvent
the wheel here.
105
00:05:31,879 --> 00:05:34,473
In other words,
it is what it is.
106
00:05:35,116 --> 00:05:37,175
Buying paper
just became fun.
107
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:42,781
And this is where
I will record your sales.
108
00:05:43,624 --> 00:05:44,921
Very nice, very nice.
109
00:05:44,992 --> 00:05:48,894
And then I will say something
positive like, "Kudos,"
110
00:05:48,963 --> 00:05:50,658
or, "Job well done."
111
00:05:50,731 --> 00:05:52,790
Or, "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!"
112
00:05:55,303 --> 00:05:56,793
I can't tell
if he's mocking me.
113
00:05:56,871 --> 00:05:58,498
Just ignore him.
114
00:05:59,106 --> 00:06:02,234
I can't do that. It's really
hard for me to let things go.
115
00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:04,471
I was mocking.
116
00:06:04,545 --> 00:06:06,012
Thank you.
117
00:06:07,048 --> 00:06:10,484
I just feel like we need something more
to acknowledge when I make a sale.
118
00:06:10,551 --> 00:06:12,610
Yes! Like a chime
or a bell.
119
00:06:12,687 --> 00:06:14,086
Or a gong.
120
00:06:20,394 --> 00:06:25,354
Go to my car, open the trunk,
inside you will see many pelts.
121
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:30,029
Under the smallest one is a case.
Inside that case is a bear horn.
122
00:06:30,104 --> 00:06:31,298
Bring it to me.
123
00:06:31,372 --> 00:06:32,532
Yes!
124
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:41,874
Isn't 7:00 p.m. A little
late for a lunch party?
125
00:06:43,217 --> 00:06:46,414
Lunch party? It's supposed
to say "Launch Party."
126
00:06:47,255 --> 00:06:48,688
What is wrong with you?
127
00:06:49,190 --> 00:06:53,217
Angela is worse than usual lately,
and we have a party to throw,
128
00:06:53,794 --> 00:06:57,355
so I googled, "How to deal
with difficult people."
129
00:06:57,899 --> 00:06:59,594
And I got all of this.
130
00:07:00,668 --> 00:07:03,398
So we're gonna try out
some new things today.
131
00:07:03,638 --> 00:07:06,971
So, how do you feel about the fact
that the banner says "Lunch"?
132
00:07:07,241 --> 00:07:12,178
I feel angry. Angry at you. Angry
at you for doing something stupid.
133
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,779
Angry at me for believing you
could do something not stupid.
134
00:07:17,518 --> 00:07:19,986
I'm so sorry to hear that.
That must be awful.
135
00:07:20,054 --> 00:07:22,852
It is awful. You've
made this day awful.
136
00:07:23,324 --> 00:07:26,350
Maybe you could just
change the U into an A.
137
00:07:27,028 --> 00:07:29,121
Then it would say
"Lanch Party," Kevin.
138
00:07:29,196 --> 00:07:31,164
Would it really be better
if it said "Lanch Party"?
139
00:07:31,232 --> 00:07:32,290
Lunch party.
140
00:07:32,366 --> 00:07:33,856
It's supposed
to say "Launch."
141
00:07:33,935 --> 00:07:35,562
Okay, wow, easy,
booster seat.
142
00:07:35,636 --> 00:07:37,695
Nobody cares about
this party anyway.
143
00:07:37,772 --> 00:07:38,796
I care.
144
00:07:38,873 --> 00:07:41,467
"Plan a party, Angela. Oh, and
the entire world will see it.
145
00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:43,703
"Oh, and here's $65
for your budget.
146
00:07:43,778 --> 00:07:46,542
"Oh, and here are four idiots who
will do nothing but weigh you down.
147
00:07:46,614 --> 00:07:48,104
"Oh, and your
cat's still dead."
148
00:07:48,783 --> 00:07:50,011
Twenty seconds
to go-time.
149
00:07:50,084 --> 00:07:51,711
Got it. Carb up.
150
00:07:52,687 --> 00:07:54,678
Really? Power Gel?
151
00:07:54,755 --> 00:07:58,020
Hey, if you want to win,
you got to fuel like a winner.
152
00:07:58,859 --> 00:08:01,020
Okay, we start.
153
00:08:01,495 --> 00:08:04,225
As soon as
I make this shot.
154
00:08:04,298 --> 00:08:05,492
Hey! Go!
155
00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:06,624
Yeah!
156
00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:10,462
Hello, Susan.
Dwight Schrute.
157
00:08:10,538 --> 00:08:13,666
What would you say if I told you
we could pull a prank on Dwight,
158
00:08:13,741 --> 00:08:15,936
at the same time,
not be working?
159
00:08:17,511 --> 00:08:19,479
What? He's going
through a breakup.
160
00:08:19,547 --> 00:08:22,846
Yeah. I'm aware of that, but
he's also being super-annoying,
161
00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:24,039
and I'm not
a perfect person.
162
00:08:25,186 --> 00:08:26,517
Yeah! Yeah!
163
00:08:26,587 --> 00:08:27,713
Got one!
164
00:08:27,788 --> 00:08:31,019
Three reams! In your
face, machines!
165
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,755
What kind of prank
are you thinking?
166
00:08:35,763 --> 00:08:38,493
What if I told you
I could offer free shipping?
167
00:08:38,566 --> 00:08:39,931
Sure, I'll hold.
168
00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:01,150
Not sure.
Just became self-aware.
169
00:09:02,123 --> 00:09:03,715
So much to figure out.
170
00:09:04,425 --> 00:09:06,893
I think I am programmed
to be your enemy.
171
00:09:07,361 --> 00:09:11,957
I think it is my job to destroy you
when it comes to selling paper.
172
00:09:34,488 --> 00:09:37,048
It appears that the
website has become alive.
173
00:09:37,358 --> 00:09:39,724
This happens to computers
and robots sometimes.
174
00:09:39,794 --> 00:09:41,318
Am I scared of a
stupid computer?
175
00:09:41,395 --> 00:09:44,262
Please, that computer
should be scared of me.
176
00:09:44,331 --> 00:09:48,427
I have been salesman of the month
for 13 out of the last 12 months.
177
00:09:48,502 --> 00:09:51,528
You heard me right.
I did so well last F'ebruary,
178
00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:54,540
that corporate gave me two
plaques in lieu of a pay raise.
179
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:02,506
Okay.
180
00:10:03,451 --> 00:10:04,748
Yes, it's too tight.
181
00:10:04,819 --> 00:10:05,877
Way too tight.
182
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:06,942
Really?
183
00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:08,283
This is why
I'm here?
184
00:10:08,355 --> 00:10:09,947
Why is it so tight?
185
00:10:10,024 --> 00:10:11,389
It's a European cut.
186
00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:13,188
It just looks bad.
187
00:10:14,028 --> 00:10:15,052
Um...
188
00:10:15,129 --> 00:10:18,621
Hey, what's hanging?
189
00:10:18,699 --> 00:10:20,462
Setting up the webcam
for the party.
190
00:10:20,534 --> 00:10:22,126
Good, okay, cool.
191
00:10:26,474 --> 00:10:28,465
How many pounds do you
think I can lose by 7:00?
192
00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:30,635
Depends. How much have
you eaten already today?
193
00:10:30,711 --> 00:10:33,475
I had one of those big...
194
00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:35,640
Dunder Mifflin.
This is Pam.
195
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:39,610
Just one second. We're in a meeting.
I'll see if he's available.
196
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:41,014
It's Jan.
197
00:10:42,556 --> 00:10:44,956
Why don't you want
to go tonight? What...
198
00:10:45,025 --> 00:10:46,890
All your friends are going to be there...
My friends?
199
00:10:46,961 --> 00:10:48,326
It'll be fun. Michael,
I was terminated.
200
00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:49,718
Just...
201
00:10:49,797 --> 00:10:51,025
Is it really that
important to you?
202
00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:52,122
Yeah.
203
00:10:52,199 --> 00:10:53,598
All right.
Thank you.
204
00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,191
Go by yourself.
205
00:10:55,269 --> 00:10:56,600
No. No.
206
00:10:56,771 --> 00:11:00,332
No. If I go by myself, everybody
will think I'm a big loser.
207
00:11:01,575 --> 00:11:03,873
Well... Do I have your
permission to invite Carole?
208
00:11:03,944 --> 00:11:05,036
What? Jeez, Michael!
209
00:11:05,112 --> 00:11:06,306
I'm sorry.
210
00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:10,146
I'm sorry. It's just the first
girl that popped into my head.
211
00:11:10,217 --> 00:11:11,707
I'll find somebody
that I haven't slept with.
212
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,451
Nice.
213
00:11:14,522 --> 00:11:16,387
Website check, please.
214
00:11:16,457 --> 00:11:18,186
305.
215
00:11:18,259 --> 00:11:22,355
305. You, my friend,
are winning handsomely.
216
00:11:23,197 --> 00:11:25,188
It just made
another sale. 380.
217
00:11:25,266 --> 00:11:29,760
You, my friend, are in
a very close second.
218
00:11:29,837 --> 00:11:30,895
402.
219
00:11:30,971 --> 00:11:32,802
Okay, why don't you
just lay off, lady?
220
00:11:32,873 --> 00:11:35,068
What do you want me to do?
Not announce it? 412.
221
00:11:39,613 --> 00:11:42,173
So, this is the dealio.
222
00:11:42,249 --> 00:11:44,547
God has smiled upon me
223
00:11:44,618 --> 00:11:48,110
and given me two tickets to the
big party in New York, tonight.
224
00:11:48,189 --> 00:11:50,453
What are you doing
this evening?
225
00:11:54,628 --> 00:11:55,993
Look at that.
226
00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:58,691
They have their own little
language now, like twins.
227
00:11:58,766 --> 00:11:59,824
Sure, we'll go.
228
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,663
All right. Well, fight it
out amongst yourselves.
229
00:12:01,735 --> 00:12:03,396
I was thinking Pammy,
230
00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,301
but boys' night out
is also good.
231
00:12:05,372 --> 00:12:06,839
I'm sorry. What?
232
00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:09,506
One of the tickets
is for him.
233
00:12:09,577 --> 00:12:11,875
Just let me know
who the winner is.
234
00:12:14,248 --> 00:12:15,306
Not it.
Not it. No!
235
00:12:15,382 --> 00:12:16,406
I won.
236
00:12:16,483 --> 00:12:18,474
Definitely not.
If anything it was a tie.
237
00:12:18,552 --> 00:12:20,349
Tie goes
to the girlfriend.
238
00:12:21,455 --> 00:12:25,448
No, I realize you normally reorder in
November, but what I'm suggesting...
239
00:12:25,893 --> 00:12:27,554
You did what?
240
00:12:28,128 --> 00:12:31,188
No. That's exactly what you're
not supposed to do, damn it!
241
00:12:31,265 --> 00:12:32,755
Why would you reorder
from a computer
242
00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:35,700
when you could have the
personal touch of a salesman?
243
00:12:37,471 --> 00:12:38,904
How's it going?
F'ine. Good.
244
00:12:38,973 --> 00:12:40,372
Yeah?
Yeah.
245
00:12:40,774 --> 00:12:41,832
You look
a little worried.
246
00:12:41,909 --> 00:12:43,809
I do not look worried.
247
00:12:58,158 --> 00:12:59,489
"Here's a suggestion,
computer.
248
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,825
"I assume you read binary, so
why don't you zero, one, one,
249
00:13:02,897 --> 00:13:05,923
"one, one, one, zero, one,
one, zero, one, one?"
250
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,562
Okay.
251
00:13:07,635 --> 00:13:11,867
While you were typing that, I
searched every database in existence
252
00:13:11,939 --> 00:13:16,205
and learned every fact about
everything and mastered the violin.
253
00:13:19,179 --> 00:13:21,306
And sold more paper.
254
00:13:31,625 --> 00:13:34,822
I asked for assorted cutlery,
and I got back spoons.
255
00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:36,487
These are worthless.
256
00:13:36,563 --> 00:13:38,360
I want to understand
what you're saying,
257
00:13:38,432 --> 00:13:41,333
but it's difficult for me
when you use that tone.
258
00:13:44,004 --> 00:13:47,735
Phyllis, these are spoons.
259
00:13:47,808 --> 00:13:52,302
Spoons have rounded tops
and are used to scoop things.
260
00:13:53,213 --> 00:13:55,078
What we need are forks,
261
00:13:55,149 --> 00:13:58,983
which have prongs
or tiny spears on top.
262
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,819
And we need knives,
which have blades.
263
00:14:03,724 --> 00:14:05,453
Do you understand me now?
264
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,559
Yes.
265
00:14:07,628 --> 00:14:08,890
Goodie.
266
00:14:13,534 --> 00:14:14,762
Hey, man.
What's up, man?
267
00:14:14,835 --> 00:14:16,666
What's going on?
Paper delivery.
268
00:14:16,737 --> 00:14:18,398
Oh, yeah?
Kelly ordered this online.
269
00:14:30,184 --> 00:14:31,310
What are you doing?
270
00:14:31,385 --> 00:14:33,182
I am in the fight of my
life against this computer,
271
00:14:33,253 --> 00:14:34,515
and every sale counts.
272
00:14:34,588 --> 00:14:37,216
But you get to put the paper in this
little shopping cart and then it says,
273
00:14:37,291 --> 00:14:39,782
"Thanks for shopping
with Dunder Mifflin."
274
00:14:40,027 --> 00:14:43,724
Damn it, Kelly! It knows!
It knows what you did!
275
00:14:43,797 --> 00:14:44,821
Who knows?
276
00:14:44,898 --> 00:14:45,922
Return it!
Return it now!
277
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,228
Hey.
278
00:14:48,268 --> 00:14:50,395
How about instead of yelling at
our sweet little Miss Kapour
279
00:14:50,471 --> 00:14:53,133
over 500 sheets of paper,
you get back to your desk
280
00:14:53,207 --> 00:14:55,767
and start selling multiple
reams like a man.
281
00:14:56,577 --> 00:14:58,101
You don't understand.
282
00:14:59,213 --> 00:15:00,771
Okay, if this makes
the difference,
283
00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:03,976
I'm going to tell it
that you were responsible.
284
00:15:04,051 --> 00:15:05,746
Who's "it"?
285
00:15:11,191 --> 00:15:12,180
There you go.
286
00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:13,590
Thanks.
287
00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:15,457
So, you still
missing Ryan?
288
00:15:16,096 --> 00:15:17,586
Not so much anymore.
289
00:15:22,703 --> 00:15:24,364
I am not a bad person.
290
00:15:24,438 --> 00:15:26,929
When I left Staples, I took
some of their leads with me,
291
00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:29,066
but I never intended
to use them.
292
00:15:29,143 --> 00:15:30,906
What did I intend
to do with them?
293
00:15:31,345 --> 00:15:34,610
Who knows? Maybe keep
them as a souvenir,
294
00:15:34,681 --> 00:15:35,807
maybe use them.
295
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,750
Yes, Mr. Galioto, how would you
like to pay 10%% less for paper
296
00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:41,720
than you're
paying right now?
297
00:15:42,423 --> 00:15:44,482
It's not important how I
got your information.
298
00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:48,585
What is important
is that you say yes. Good.
299
00:15:48,662 --> 00:15:51,222
All right, I'm ready to go,
and I'm calling shotgun.
300
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,287
I'm driving?
301
00:15:52,366 --> 00:15:53,799
Yes.
Thank you.
302
00:15:53,867 --> 00:15:55,459
All right. Let me just
say goodbye to Pam.
303
00:15:55,536 --> 00:15:59,404
Oh, yeah. You better say goodbye to Pam.
Say goodbye to Pam.
304
00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:03,573
Bye.
I love you.
305
00:16:07,014 --> 00:16:08,481
I love you. Okay.
306
00:16:08,549 --> 00:16:11,416
I'm leaving
inside Jim's car
307
00:16:11,485 --> 00:16:13,749
I don't know
when I'll be back again
308
00:16:13,821 --> 00:16:18,656
Yes, I do,
tomorrow I'll be back
309
00:16:18,725 --> 00:16:20,249
I'll be back tomorrow.
310
00:16:20,761 --> 00:16:24,492
Yeah, so you know what? Why don't you
guys take off a little bit early tonight?
311
00:16:24,565 --> 00:16:26,157
Because there's a party.
312
00:16:26,233 --> 00:16:29,566
A party for the website I've
been planning for two weeks.
313
00:16:29,636 --> 00:16:33,902
If you are not this tall, you
may not ride the rollercoaster.
314
00:16:33,974 --> 00:16:35,032
See you guys tomorrow.
315
00:16:35,109 --> 00:16:38,203
Perfect. So let me just get some
basic information from you.
316
00:16:47,054 --> 00:16:50,922
Sorry. I'm so sorry. Yes.
Could you repeat that?
317
00:16:53,694 --> 00:16:56,686
Yes! Ten reams for the
U.S. District Court!
318
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,890
Did I happen to mention the 40 reams
for the Battered Women's Shelter?
319
00:17:00,968 --> 00:17:02,196
No!
320
00:17:07,074 --> 00:17:09,406
Stop it. Give me that. Give it.
321
00:17:09,977 --> 00:17:11,205
Did you see the board?
322
00:17:11,278 --> 00:17:13,212
There's still an hour.
323
00:17:15,415 --> 00:17:17,144
You ever read this?
324
00:17:17,217 --> 00:17:20,277
Yeah. A long time
ago, but I liked it.
325
00:17:20,354 --> 00:17:21,719
I got it for Ryan.
326
00:17:22,156 --> 00:17:23,987
I wanted to get him
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
327
00:17:24,057 --> 00:17:25,115
But they were sold out.
328
00:17:25,192 --> 00:17:28,127
I figured it's the same
sort of stuff in here.
329
00:17:28,195 --> 00:17:30,720
It's not. It's different.
It's a good book.
330
00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:34,091
What was that?
331
00:17:34,168 --> 00:17:35,829
Leaving Pennsylvania.
332
00:17:37,471 --> 00:17:38,904
Two kisses.
333
00:17:38,972 --> 00:17:40,234
One for me.
One for Jan.
334
00:17:40,307 --> 00:17:41,331
Gotcha.
335
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:42,932
You guys should come over
for dinner, you and Pam.
336
00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:44,500
That would be fun. F'riday?
That would be fun.
337
00:17:44,578 --> 00:17:46,478
Want to come over F'riday?
Can't.
338
00:17:46,547 --> 00:17:48,071
After work, you...
339
00:17:48,148 --> 00:17:49,775
Oh, no, 'cause...
340
00:17:52,719 --> 00:17:54,243
You're gonna let me know
when we're close, right?
341
00:17:54,321 --> 00:17:56,289
Yes. Actually, I will
tell you right now.
342
00:17:56,356 --> 00:18:00,816
It's a club called Chat Room, and
there's a password to get in,
343
00:18:00,894 --> 00:18:03,158
which is actually
"Password," so...
344
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:04,322
Okay.
345
00:18:05,032 --> 00:18:06,260
What are you doing?
346
00:18:06,333 --> 00:18:08,494
That is an invitation
to an online party.
347
00:18:08,969 --> 00:18:10,800
No. No.
I'm sure that's not.
348
00:18:11,672 --> 00:18:15,301
Are there three "W's" at the
beginning of the address?
349
00:18:17,711 --> 00:18:19,076
Yes.
Yeah.
350
00:18:20,914 --> 00:18:26,477
Well, the invitation says VIPs only.
Is this how you treat your VIPs, Ryan?
351
00:18:27,554 --> 00:18:29,749
We're already
in the city.
352
00:18:29,823 --> 00:18:33,224
The main part, with the buildings.
What am I supposed to do?
353
00:18:33,293 --> 00:18:34,453
What do you want me
to do tonight?
354
00:18:34,528 --> 00:18:35,756
And if you tell me
355
00:18:35,829 --> 00:18:38,821
that I have to drive back to
Scranton to the satellite party,
356
00:18:38,899 --> 00:18:40,594
I am going to throw up.
357
00:18:42,002 --> 00:18:43,629
Okay, I am going
to throw up.
358
00:18:43,704 --> 00:18:46,172
I'm throwing up. You're
making me throw up, Ryan.
359
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,435
You know what this is like? I'll
tell you what this is like.
360
00:18:48,508 --> 00:18:50,703
This is like when the
freshmen would throw a party
361
00:18:50,777 --> 00:18:53,143
and wouldn't let
any of the seniors go.
362
00:18:55,215 --> 00:18:59,174
Doesn't it just piss you off sometimes that
little twerp got the promotion over us?
363
00:18:59,253 --> 00:19:01,517
Actually, I withdrew
from consideration.
364
00:19:01,588 --> 00:19:03,419
Yeah. I withdrew too.
365
00:19:11,999 --> 00:19:16,333
F'our, three, two, one!
366
00:19:16,403 --> 00:19:17,700
Yes!
367
00:19:19,906 --> 00:19:22,272
After numerous projections
that the computer
368
00:19:22,342 --> 00:19:24,572
would crush all
salesmen in its path,
369
00:19:24,645 --> 00:19:29,207
I am very happy to report that
our very own Dwight Schrute
370
00:19:29,283 --> 00:19:33,447
has crushed his electronic
nemesis, if you will,
371
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,886
by a whopping 52 reams.
372
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,184
Reams.
373
00:19:37,424 --> 00:19:38,982
- Wait, say it again.
- Announce it again.
374
00:19:39,059 --> 00:19:40,048
F'ifty-two reams!
375
00:19:40,127 --> 00:19:41,185
No, no.
No, the first part.
376
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,923
Dwight has
defeated the computer.
377
00:19:45,098 --> 00:19:49,034
Hey, so,
what do you think?
378
00:19:50,504 --> 00:19:51,835
I did it for you.
379
00:19:51,905 --> 00:19:53,736
I didn't ask you
to do it for me.
380
00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:55,665
You didn't have to.
381
00:19:57,110 --> 00:19:59,010
How do you tell
someone it's over?
382
00:19:59,079 --> 00:20:03,573
You send them a notarized letter, right?
Well, what if the recipient is your notary?
383
00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,253
Hello, Pam.
384
00:20:08,322 --> 00:20:10,085
Hello.
Hey,
385
00:20:10,157 --> 00:20:12,523
do you have any men that
you can fix me up with?
386
00:20:12,592 --> 00:20:15,288
I would like to have
a relationship with a man.
387
00:20:17,230 --> 00:20:18,663
I'll get back to you.
388
00:20:18,732 --> 00:20:20,199
Let me know.
389
00:20:35,849 --> 00:20:37,612
All right,
who wants to party?
390
00:20:37,684 --> 00:20:38,742
Why aren't you
in New York?
391
00:20:38,819 --> 00:20:40,377
What?
392
00:20:40,454 --> 00:20:42,422
I think I faked
Oscar out.
393
00:20:42,489 --> 00:20:44,753
You said you weren't coming
back and we could leave early.
394
00:20:44,825 --> 00:20:46,588
I think I faked
Stanley out, too.
395
00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:49,595
Who else thought that I was leaving
and that you could all go home early?
396
00:20:49,663 --> 00:20:52,291
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
397
00:20:52,366 --> 00:20:54,527
Well, who needs New York?
398
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:57,126
Right? We can have a killer
party right here in Scranton.
399
00:20:57,204 --> 00:20:58,296
Thank you.
400
00:20:58,372 --> 00:21:01,398
No, no, no. This is going to be nothing
like the party you've been planning.
401
00:21:01,475 --> 00:21:05,070
This is going to be good,
and everybody's gonna come.
402
00:21:06,213 --> 00:21:07,908
What's wrong with Dwight?
403
00:21:07,981 --> 00:21:09,039
He beat the computer.
404
00:21:09,116 --> 00:21:12,950
Hey, good for you. Good for you!
Scranton power.
405
00:21:14,087 --> 00:21:15,349
All right, you know what?
406
00:21:15,422 --> 00:21:17,515
Angela, I'd like you to come
into my office in 10 minutes.
407
00:21:17,591 --> 00:21:19,991
Bring something to write with
and something to write on.
408
00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:21,118
Good!
409
00:21:24,498 --> 00:21:26,898
It was a pretty
disappointing day.
410
00:21:26,967 --> 00:21:31,301
It was kind of a slap
in the face to realize that
411
00:21:32,205 --> 00:21:34,833
I wasn't as important
as I thought I was
412
00:21:34,908 --> 00:21:38,036
to a certain young executive
who I'd cared about.
413
00:21:38,612 --> 00:21:41,604
But, you know,
I'm not gonna cry over it.
414
00:21:42,482 --> 00:21:44,074
I did that in the car
on the way home.
415
00:21:44,418 --> 00:21:45,476
How are we
doing on time?
416
00:21:45,552 --> 00:21:46,780
The party starts
in an hour.
417
00:21:46,853 --> 00:21:50,220
Good. These are some things that
I would like to have happen.
418
00:21:51,992 --> 00:21:54,426
"Beer, light beer,
streamers, orchids,
419
00:21:54,494 --> 00:21:56,291
"better lighting,
something made of ice"?
420
00:21:56,363 --> 00:21:58,092
Those are just things.
This is how I want it to feel.
421
00:21:58,165 --> 00:22:01,566
"Pizza, pizza with mushrooms, pizza
without mushrooms, white pizza, steak"?
422
00:22:01,635 --> 00:22:05,002
I would like this
party to be sexier,
423
00:22:05,071 --> 00:22:06,732
cooler, more important...
424
00:22:06,807 --> 00:22:08,604
"Chocolates,
someone famous"?
425
00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:09,767
Yes.
"Cool music,
426
00:22:09,843 --> 00:22:11,708
"confetti,
go-go dancers"?
427
00:22:11,778 --> 00:22:14,576
I want it to embarrass
all other parties.
428
00:22:14,648 --> 00:22:17,981
I want it to be a party
that the guys in New York
429
00:22:18,051 --> 00:22:22,579
watch on the webcam and say, "Wow,
how did they get Al Roker to come?"
430
00:22:23,290 --> 00:22:24,587
I can't do this.
Yes, you can.
431
00:22:24,658 --> 00:22:25,647
I can't do it.
432
00:22:25,725 --> 00:22:27,454
Yes, you can.
I know you can.
433
00:22:27,527 --> 00:22:29,961
I wouldn't say that if
I didn't 100%% believe it.
434
00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:31,657
Who else could do this?
435
00:22:32,666 --> 00:22:33,997
Okay. Okay.
436
00:22:34,067 --> 00:22:36,035
No, seriously, is there anyone
else who could do it better?
437
00:22:36,102 --> 00:22:38,297
Because we don't
have a lot of time.
438
00:22:39,973 --> 00:22:41,736
I'll get the pizza!
439
00:22:49,950 --> 00:22:51,781
What do you
think of Angela?
440
00:22:53,687 --> 00:22:55,154
I think she's efficient.
441
00:22:55,222 --> 00:22:57,690
No, not like that.
As a woman.
442
00:22:58,391 --> 00:23:01,360
W-O-M-A-N.
443
00:23:01,428 --> 00:23:03,362
I hadn't noticed.
444
00:23:03,430 --> 00:23:05,523
You hadn't noticed
she's a woman?
445
00:23:07,367 --> 00:23:09,767
I hear she's single
and ready to mingle.
446
00:23:10,003 --> 00:23:12,471
I'm thinking about
making a play for her.
447
00:23:12,639 --> 00:23:14,630
What do you think?
Crazy, right?
448
00:23:15,141 --> 00:23:18,304
I think it's inappropriate to
date someone you work with.
449
00:23:18,578 --> 00:23:19,806
Isn't that
part of the fun?
450
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,110
No. I think you
should date Kelly.
451
00:23:23,149 --> 00:23:25,845
She works here, too.
How is that any different?
452
00:23:26,286 --> 00:23:28,083
She works in the annex.
453
00:23:29,055 --> 00:23:31,148
You're also welcome
to date Toby.
454
00:23:33,426 --> 00:23:34,518
Okay.
455
00:23:35,529 --> 00:23:37,520
Good news!
We get to go home?
456
00:23:37,597 --> 00:23:42,091
Guess who just ordered from your
favorite pizza place, Alfredo.
457
00:23:42,669 --> 00:23:43,761
Wait.
458
00:23:44,504 --> 00:23:48,406
Alfredo's Pizza Cafe?
Or Pizza By Alfredo?
459
00:23:48,942 --> 00:23:50,000
Same thing.
460
00:23:50,076 --> 00:23:51,373
No. No, it's not.
461
00:23:51,444 --> 00:23:52,809
All right. You know what?
I don't understand
462
00:23:52,879 --> 00:23:54,073
when you all talk
at the same time.
463
00:23:54,147 --> 00:23:56,513
Oscar, talk to him.
464
00:23:56,583 --> 00:23:59,518
Michael, there's a very big difference
between these two pizza places,
465
00:23:59,586 --> 00:24:03,818
both in quality of ingredients
and in overall taste.
466
00:24:03,890 --> 00:24:05,790
Which one did you
order from?
467
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:09,225
Pizza By Alfredo.
468
00:24:09,296 --> 00:24:12,094
All right, you know what?
Okay, okay, what is better?
469
00:24:12,165 --> 00:24:17,228
A medium amount of good pizza or all
you can eat of pretty good pizza?
470
00:24:17,304 --> 00:24:19,738
Medium amount of good pizza.
Medium amount of good pizza.
471
00:24:21,207 --> 00:24:25,769
Oh, no, it's bad.
It's real bad.
472
00:24:26,646 --> 00:24:29,513
It's like eating
a hot circle of garbage.
473
00:24:32,652 --> 00:24:35,212
You can pick
one of these things.
474
00:24:35,288 --> 00:24:38,314
It's unreasonable for you to
ask me to do all of this.
475
00:24:38,992 --> 00:24:42,758
It should take you no time at all if you
put the care into it that you normally do.
476
00:24:46,366 --> 00:24:47,560
Ow!
477
00:24:47,634 --> 00:24:49,363
That seemed
to shut her up.
478
00:24:52,872 --> 00:24:53,861
You looking for
dinner and a movie?
479
00:24:53,940 --> 00:24:56,670
'Cause you're not gonna
find it in that box.
480
00:24:58,878 --> 00:25:02,245
It just so happens, I know where
you can find it, but again,
481
00:25:03,917 --> 00:25:05,942
not in the box.
482
00:25:09,189 --> 00:25:11,555
Angela, are you hearing
words that I'm saying?
483
00:25:11,625 --> 00:25:12,785
What?
484
00:25:12,859 --> 00:25:14,053
Hello.
485
00:25:14,894 --> 00:25:16,589
I have been working
on a party for three weeks
486
00:25:16,663 --> 00:25:18,062
that just got thrown
out the window,
487
00:25:18,131 --> 00:25:20,326
so now I have to pull
together a whole new party,
488
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,163
and my useless
number two quit.
489
00:25:22,235 --> 00:25:23,862
So now there's no one
in charge of orchids,
490
00:25:23,937 --> 00:25:25,928
chocolates or the thing
that's made of ice.
491
00:25:26,006 --> 00:25:27,803
And my upper back itches,
and it's itched all day,
492
00:25:27,874 --> 00:25:31,332
and I can't reach it. And Kevin
had Greek food for lunch again!
493
00:25:35,048 --> 00:25:38,142
They say you should never mix
business with pleasure.
494
00:25:38,218 --> 00:25:39,242
Really?
495
00:25:39,319 --> 00:25:43,119
Well, then explain to me how a
putt-putt golf company operates.
496
00:25:48,228 --> 00:25:49,252
Yeah?
497
00:25:49,329 --> 00:25:50,990
The Pizza By Alfredo
guy is here.
498
00:25:51,064 --> 00:25:52,292
You don't have
to say it like that.
499
00:25:52,365 --> 00:25:53,593
I said it normal.
500
00:25:58,138 --> 00:25:59,537
Hey.
Hey.
501
00:25:59,606 --> 00:26:02,040
$63.50, and that's
not including tip.
502
00:26:02,108 --> 00:26:03,598
Right.
I have a coupon,
503
00:26:03,677 --> 00:26:07,374
so half of $63.50 and
half the tip on $63.50...
504
00:26:07,447 --> 00:26:10,382
Half-off coupons only apply
to orders of two pizzas.
505
00:26:10,450 --> 00:26:13,180
Yeah, no, I told them on the phone
I was ordering eight pizzas.
506
00:26:13,253 --> 00:26:14,686
I don't care what you
told them on the phone.
507
00:26:14,754 --> 00:26:16,483
That's our policy.
508
00:26:16,556 --> 00:26:19,389
You didn't actually think that I was
going to spend 60 bucks on pizza?
509
00:26:19,459 --> 00:26:20,721
It's not pizza.
Okay.
510
00:26:20,794 --> 00:26:25,197
It doesn't say it anywhere on the
coupon, and if it's your policy,
511
00:26:25,265 --> 00:26:27,256
it should say it
on the coupon.
512
00:26:27,801 --> 00:26:29,359
What do you mean?
513
00:26:29,436 --> 00:26:30,460
Not my problem.
514
00:26:30,537 --> 00:26:32,004
It is your problem.
515
00:26:32,839 --> 00:26:37,572
That's no way to do business, okay?
I ordered
516
00:26:37,644 --> 00:26:39,077
eight pizzas with
a half-off coupon,
517
00:26:39,145 --> 00:26:42,512
so I would like eight pizzas for half-off.
End of story.
518
00:26:42,582 --> 00:26:46,313
It's a great story. It's $63.50,
and that's not including tip.
519
00:26:46,386 --> 00:26:47,876
I'm not giving that to you.
520
00:26:47,954 --> 00:26:49,979
Well, then you're not
getting your pizzas.
521
00:26:50,056 --> 00:26:52,024
No. No!
You're not... No!
522
00:26:52,092 --> 00:26:55,653
You are not going anywhere!
You're going to stay here
523
00:26:55,729 --> 00:26:57,993
until we figure this out! What?
524
00:26:58,064 --> 00:27:03,127
You know what? This young man needs to learn
that that's not how you treat people!
525
00:27:04,204 --> 00:27:05,569
I don't care if it's pizza!
526
00:27:05,638 --> 00:27:10,041
Good business is about respect and
accountability and follow-through.
527
00:27:10,110 --> 00:27:11,873
You don't just
make promises
528
00:27:11,945 --> 00:27:14,914
and pull the rug out from
under somebody, do you?
529
00:27:14,981 --> 00:27:17,814
Dwight, please escort this young
man into the conference room.
530
00:27:17,884 --> 00:27:19,078
Right now. Get into
the conference room.
531
00:27:19,152 --> 00:27:20,710
I'm not going in there. Yeah, you are.
Yeah, you are.
532
00:27:20,787 --> 00:27:23,585
And you will come out when you decide
to give me a discount on the pizza.
533
00:27:23,656 --> 00:27:25,055
Please. Thank you.
534
00:27:25,759 --> 00:27:26,783
This is stupid.
535
00:27:26,860 --> 00:27:29,590
No, you don't even
know what stupid is.
536
00:27:30,597 --> 00:27:33,532
It's about to get
all stupid up in here!
537
00:27:46,946 --> 00:27:48,811
You find anything?
538
00:27:48,882 --> 00:27:51,373
We think it's a
straightforward kidnapping.
539
00:27:51,985 --> 00:27:53,782
Stanley, could you
look up accomplices?
540
00:27:53,853 --> 00:27:55,218
Why can't you guys do it?
541
00:27:55,288 --> 00:27:57,449
Because we're
looking up jail time.
542
00:27:57,791 --> 00:27:59,349
F'ine.
543
00:27:59,425 --> 00:28:00,483
I've seen this kid before.
544
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,960
He's one of the kids that sneaks
onto my farm and steals my hemp.
545
00:28:03,296 --> 00:28:06,823
Yeah, I know that guy. He's that
farmer that grows really crappy weed.
546
00:28:14,741 --> 00:28:16,732
You ready to give me
my discount now?
547
00:28:16,810 --> 00:28:17,902
No.
548
00:28:18,444 --> 00:28:20,344
Okay, what have you been doing
in here this whole time?
549
00:28:20,413 --> 00:28:21,675
What kind of
business is this?
550
00:28:21,748 --> 00:28:22,874
We're a paper company.
551
00:28:22,949 --> 00:28:24,644
The best paper company
in the whole wide world, okay?
552
00:28:24,717 --> 00:28:26,742
All right, Dwight,
knock it off.
553
00:28:27,954 --> 00:28:29,979
You'd better think about what
you are doing, young man.
554
00:28:30,056 --> 00:28:31,580
You better think about
what you're doing.
555
00:28:31,658 --> 00:28:36,186
No! I'm an adult. I don't
have to think or do anything.
556
00:28:36,262 --> 00:28:39,629
You're a kid. You're a
little, snot-nosed punk kid
557
00:28:39,699 --> 00:28:41,860
who thinks he's better
than everybody else,
558
00:28:41,935 --> 00:28:43,368
because he's some hotshot.
559
00:28:43,436 --> 00:28:45,836
And you don't know
anything about sales!
560
00:28:45,905 --> 00:28:47,930
So stop being a disrespectful
little jerk, okay?
561
00:28:48,007 --> 00:28:49,065
Sales?
562
00:28:49,142 --> 00:28:51,702
Yes, sales. You sell pizza. Last
time I checked, that's called sales.
563
00:28:51,778 --> 00:28:52,767
You're such a loser.
564
00:28:52,846 --> 00:28:53,835
What did you
just call him?
565
00:28:53,913 --> 00:28:55,608
A loser.
What did you say?
566
00:28:55,682 --> 00:28:56,842
A loser.
What?
567
00:28:56,916 --> 00:28:58,213
A loser.
What was that word?
568
00:28:58,284 --> 00:29:00,081
Stop getting him
to say it!
569
00:29:00,553 --> 00:29:02,453
You just made this worse,
a whole lot worse.
570
00:29:02,522 --> 00:29:03,819
I can make
him talk, Michael.
571
00:29:03,890 --> 00:29:04,879
- Michael!
- Michael!
572
00:29:04,958 --> 00:29:06,425
We are accomplices. I'm not
going to jail for this.
573
00:29:06,492 --> 00:29:08,084
Stop talking all at once!
574
00:29:08,161 --> 00:29:09,287
You need to let him go.
575
00:29:09,362 --> 00:29:12,729
Let go of little jerk-boy before
he has learned his lesson?
576
00:29:12,799 --> 00:29:14,391
Yes.
You know what, Jim?
577
00:29:14,467 --> 00:29:18,369
The world would be a better place if people
were held accountable for their actions.
578
00:29:18,438 --> 00:29:20,235
Yes, but not by
kidnapping them.
579
00:29:20,306 --> 00:29:21,671
I'm not kidnapping him.
580
00:29:21,741 --> 00:29:24,039
I'm keeping him
until I get what I want.
581
00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:25,202
As a hostage.
582
00:29:25,278 --> 00:29:26,302
I think you're
over-thinking it.
583
00:29:26,379 --> 00:29:27,403
I think you're
under-thinking it.
584
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,107
Yes.
Is Alfredo there?
585
00:29:30,583 --> 00:29:32,517
May I speak to
a manager, then?
586
00:29:33,219 --> 00:29:37,315
Okay, could you tell the manager
that I am keeping his delivery kid
587
00:29:37,390 --> 00:29:40,120
until I get my discount on
the eight pizzas I ordered?
588
00:29:40,827 --> 00:29:43,022
Yes, I know it is
not on the coupon.
589
00:29:43,963 --> 00:29:49,924
Also, I would like him to
throw in two, three pizzas,
590
00:29:50,937 --> 00:29:52,404
just for our...
Ransom.
591
00:29:52,472 --> 00:29:53,564
...trouble.
592
00:29:55,308 --> 00:29:57,276
Okay. All right.
593
00:29:58,778 --> 00:30:00,109
What did he say?
594
00:30:00,179 --> 00:30:01,203
He said no.
595
00:30:01,281 --> 00:30:02,475
So we should let him go.
596
00:30:02,548 --> 00:30:03,879
No. No.
597
00:30:03,950 --> 00:30:05,076
Okay.
598
00:30:05,151 --> 00:30:07,517
Listen up, kid,
599
00:30:08,221 --> 00:30:09,552
I don't like you,
600
00:30:09,622 --> 00:30:13,752
but because some town in Switzerland
says so, you have rights.
601
00:30:18,865 --> 00:30:20,389
I have to hang these.
602
00:30:28,341 --> 00:30:30,036
Why are you looking
at her like that?
603
00:30:30,109 --> 00:30:31,303
Hey!
604
00:30:42,288 --> 00:30:43,550
What's going on?
605
00:30:43,623 --> 00:30:45,682
Michael just called the pizza
place with a list of demands.
606
00:30:45,758 --> 00:30:47,385
Mr. Overdramatic.
What's up, Kevin?
607
00:30:47,460 --> 00:30:49,451
We're getting hungry
out there.
608
00:30:50,563 --> 00:30:55,398
We're all accomplices now anyway,
so we figured we might as well eat.
609
00:30:55,468 --> 00:31:00,371
We would like to order some good
pizza from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe
610
00:31:00,873 --> 00:31:05,003
while we wait for the hostage
situation with the bad pizza to end.
611
00:31:08,147 --> 00:31:11,583
I needed another hour. It could
have been done in another hour.
612
00:31:11,651 --> 00:31:13,380
I think it looks good.
613
00:31:13,453 --> 00:31:15,421
That's why you're not
in charge, Meredith.
614
00:31:20,593 --> 00:31:23,653
Here you are, my dear.
One thing made of ice.
615
00:31:26,532 --> 00:31:27,931
How did you...
616
00:31:29,235 --> 00:31:30,668
Where'd you...
617
00:31:30,737 --> 00:31:33,501
It's just ice. It'll
melt all over the floor.
618
00:31:33,573 --> 00:31:34,835
Will you help me
put it over there?
619
00:31:34,907 --> 00:31:36,431
Yes, I will.
Okay.
620
00:31:36,509 --> 00:31:37,669
Excuse me.
621
00:31:38,845 --> 00:31:39,937
I stole it.
622
00:31:44,250 --> 00:31:45,649
Thank God.
623
00:31:45,718 --> 00:31:49,620
Michael? Ryan wants to introduce the
branch managers in a few minutes.
624
00:31:49,689 --> 00:31:51,748
You just have to wave
and introduce yourself.
625
00:31:51,824 --> 00:31:54,122
I'll just wave and
introduce myself.
626
00:31:54,193 --> 00:31:55,558
Hey, quick question.
627
00:31:55,628 --> 00:31:56,652
Yeah?
628
00:31:56,729 --> 00:31:58,629
If I take a pizza,
629
00:31:58,698 --> 00:32:02,464
do you think you could take some sodas
and some napkins up to the roof?
630
00:32:02,535 --> 00:32:04,435
I'm all over it.
Good.
631
00:32:05,338 --> 00:32:07,101
What do we got here?
632
00:32:07,173 --> 00:32:08,765
Good pizza.
Yeah?
633
00:32:08,841 --> 00:32:10,832
Cheese? Or do we
have other flavors?
634
00:32:10,910 --> 00:32:12,002
Different stuff.
635
00:32:12,078 --> 00:32:13,875
Which one is this?
Perfect.
636
00:32:16,616 --> 00:32:19,380
Do you remember what you said
to me on my first day at work,
637
00:32:19,452 --> 00:32:20,976
just before you walked
me over to my desk?
638
00:32:21,054 --> 00:32:22,248
Yeah.
639
00:32:23,289 --> 00:32:26,486
"Enjoy this moment, because you're
never going to go back to this time
640
00:32:26,559 --> 00:32:28,959
"before you met
your desk-mate, Dwight."
641
00:32:29,362 --> 00:32:32,661
And that's why
I knew. You?
642
00:32:32,732 --> 00:32:35,200
You came up to
my desk and you said,
643
00:32:35,268 --> 00:32:40,171
"This might sound weird, and there's
no reason for me to know this,
644
00:32:40,239 --> 00:32:43,333
"but that mixed-berry yogurt
you're about to eat has expired."
645
00:32:43,409 --> 00:32:45,570
That was the moment that
you knew you liked me?
646
00:32:45,645 --> 00:32:46,737
Yup.
647
00:32:46,813 --> 00:32:48,075
Wow.
648
00:32:50,116 --> 00:32:51,378
Can we make it
a different moment?
649
00:32:51,451 --> 00:32:52,577
Nope.
650
00:32:54,487 --> 00:32:55,977
Can I start talking?
651
00:32:57,156 --> 00:33:00,956
Is this thing on? Give me a
signal when you want me to start.
652
00:33:03,196 --> 00:33:07,860
And now from my old hometown, Scranton,
Pennsylvania, my former boss,
653
00:33:07,934 --> 00:33:09,561
Michael Scott.
654
00:33:10,169 --> 00:33:11,568
Hey, I just think
you should know
655
00:33:11,637 --> 00:33:14,629
that one of my salesmen
beat your stupid computer.
656
00:33:14,707 --> 00:33:16,334
So take that,.
657
00:33:18,845 --> 00:33:20,403
Always a jokester.
658
00:33:23,015 --> 00:33:25,210
How about that image?
Crystal clear.
659
00:33:26,686 --> 00:33:30,554
If anyone out there is listening, I
am being held here against my will.
660
00:33:30,623 --> 00:33:31,817
I'm a minor.
661
00:33:35,828 --> 00:33:36,852
Ow!
662
00:33:36,929 --> 00:33:38,123
What are you doing?
663
00:33:38,197 --> 00:33:40,097
You said your
upper back itched.
664
00:33:40,166 --> 00:33:41,724
I didn't ask you
to scratch it.
665
00:33:41,801 --> 00:33:44,133
Look, Angela, I know this is
weird because we work together,
666
00:33:44,203 --> 00:33:48,833
and because up until and possibly
including now I've repulsed you,
667
00:33:48,908 --> 00:33:50,239
but I like you.
668
00:33:50,309 --> 00:33:52,004
I'm not dating you.
669
00:33:54,347 --> 00:33:57,248
So Angela is
stubborn as a mule.
670
00:33:58,751 --> 00:34:02,812
She's giving off fairly strong
vibes that she's not interested.
671
00:34:06,959 --> 00:34:08,688
But do I like her or not?
672
00:34:09,896 --> 00:34:14,162
Because if I like her,
then I can't back down.
673
00:34:16,135 --> 00:34:19,366
If you're going number one,
you've got 10 more seconds.
674
00:34:22,141 --> 00:34:23,472
Hey, have you seen Jim?
675
00:34:23,543 --> 00:34:26,944
I guess he wanted to get out of
here before the cops find out.
676
00:34:30,183 --> 00:34:33,277
Hey, what are you doing?
I'm just scaring him.
677
00:34:33,352 --> 00:34:35,912
Now the trick is to make him think
you're going to do something to him.
678
00:34:35,988 --> 00:34:37,182
I can hear you, man.
Shut up,
679
00:34:37,256 --> 00:34:38,553
or I'm going to
punch you in the throat!
680
00:34:38,624 --> 00:34:40,182
Hey, hey, hey,
stop it. Stop it.
681
00:34:40,259 --> 00:34:42,557
No. God.
Oh, my God.
682
00:34:43,863 --> 00:34:47,458
Oh, my God.
Oh, no. No.
683
00:34:49,001 --> 00:34:51,128
I kidnapped a kid.
You had to.
684
00:34:51,204 --> 00:34:52,967
What other choice
did you have?
685
00:34:53,039 --> 00:34:55,166
I could have
paid for the pizza.
686
00:34:55,241 --> 00:34:57,709
Well, yeah.
687
00:34:59,946 --> 00:35:03,404
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
688
00:35:06,185 --> 00:35:07,174
This is Michael.
689
00:35:07,253 --> 00:35:08,345
Hello, Michael.
This is Ryan.
690
00:35:08,421 --> 00:35:09,979
First off, thanks
for the shout out.
691
00:35:10,056 --> 00:35:11,683
You're breaking up.
I can't hear you.
692
00:35:11,757 --> 00:35:13,850
And why is there
a kid on your webcam
693
00:35:13,926 --> 00:35:16,190
saying that he's
being held against his...
694
00:35:17,029 --> 00:35:18,394
Okay.
695
00:35:18,464 --> 00:35:21,763
I want you to go in there
696
00:35:21,834 --> 00:35:25,827
and pay him for the pizzas
and give him a generous tip,
697
00:35:26,973 --> 00:35:28,167
no more than 10%%.
698
00:35:28,241 --> 00:35:29,401
What will you do?
699
00:35:29,475 --> 00:35:32,205
I will open the door.
700
00:35:33,012 --> 00:35:34,172
Yeah.
701
00:35:34,247 --> 00:35:36,340
And hopefully
he will walk out.
702
00:35:38,851 --> 00:35:40,944
And the rest
is out of our hands.
703
00:35:42,355 --> 00:35:45,017
So I'm paying full price?
704
00:35:45,091 --> 00:35:46,183
Yes.
705
00:35:47,226 --> 00:35:50,593
Here we go, 65.
You know what?
706
00:35:51,731 --> 00:35:53,096
Here's two more.
707
00:35:58,104 --> 00:36:00,038
See you.
Drive safely.
708
00:36:02,508 --> 00:36:03,998
Okay.
709
00:36:04,744 --> 00:36:06,143
Now what?
710
00:36:06,212 --> 00:36:08,942
Now we wait and hope
that nothing happens.
711
00:36:10,182 --> 00:36:12,878
All right. I assume I'm going to
be reimbursed for the pizzas?
712
00:36:12,952 --> 00:36:15,182
Not now, Dwight.
Please, not the time.
713
00:36:17,757 --> 00:36:19,748
A toast.
714
00:36:19,825 --> 00:36:21,554
I'm gonna make it good.
715
00:36:22,795 --> 00:36:24,888
To avoiding a class-two
felony charge.
716
00:36:32,238 --> 00:36:34,832
Hello? Hey.
Hang on a second.
717
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,971
Hello. Hang on.
718
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:57,729
If you change your mind
719
00:36:59,332 --> 00:37:01,061
I'll be first in line
720
00:37:01,133 --> 00:37:05,695
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
721
00:37:05,771 --> 00:37:08,069
If you need me, let me know
722
00:37:08,140 --> 00:37:09,767
Going to be around
723
00:37:10,076 --> 00:37:12,601
If you got no place to go
724
00:37:12,678 --> 00:37:17,138
If you're feeling down,
if you're all alone
725
00:37:17,216 --> 00:37:19,582
When the pretty birds
have flown
726
00:37:19,652 --> 00:37:24,316
Honey, I'm still free
Take a chance on me
727
00:37:24,390 --> 00:37:28,827
Going to do my very best
And that ain't no lie
728
00:37:28,894 --> 00:37:33,354
If you put me to the test,
if you let me try
729
00:37:33,432 --> 00:37:37,664
Take a chance on me
730
00:37:37,737 --> 00:37:39,728
That's all I ask of you,
Angela.
731
00:37:40,406 --> 00:37:46,003
Take a chance, take a chance
732
00:37:47,413 --> 00:37:49,938
On
733
00:37:50,015 --> 00:37:54,645
Me
734
00:38:07,032 --> 00:38:08,966
- Hey, how'd it go?
- Yeah. What did she say?
735
00:38:09,034 --> 00:38:10,661
I don't know yet.
736
00:38:10,736 --> 00:38:11,760
I have to call you back.
737
00:38:11,837 --> 00:38:12,826
Come on,
you gotta give us something.
738
00:38:12,905 --> 00:38:14,338
I'll call you back.
739
00:38:16,609 --> 00:38:18,543
I have to go clean up
after the party.
740
00:38:36,595 --> 00:38:38,586
What a horrible day.
741
00:38:43,235 --> 00:38:47,194
Well, I need to get the horrible
taste of this pizza out of my mouth.
742
00:38:48,607 --> 00:38:50,404
I'd really like some sushi.
743
00:38:50,810 --> 00:38:54,041
I was hoping that I would have
New York-style sushi today,
744
00:38:54,113 --> 00:38:56,206
and you know what?
745
00:38:56,282 --> 00:38:58,079
What?
I'm gonna get it.
746
00:38:58,651 --> 00:39:00,642
Coopers has calamari.
747
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:04,086
No. There's only one place to get
authentic New York-style sushi.
748
00:39:04,156 --> 00:39:05,623
Tokyo?
New York.
749
00:39:06,325 --> 00:39:08,225
Wanna go?
Yes.
750
00:39:08,294 --> 00:39:09,283
All right.
You drive.
751
00:39:09,361 --> 00:39:10,589
Okay.
752
00:39:10,663 --> 00:39:11,721
Nice.
753
00:39:11,797 --> 00:39:13,162
Here we go.
754
00:39:13,232 --> 00:39:14,722
Mmm.
755
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,734
Perfect.
I'm sorry.
756
00:39:16,802 --> 00:39:18,702
You guys are going
to have to leave.
757
00:39:18,771 --> 00:39:20,830
Hey.
You know what?
758
00:39:24,677 --> 00:39:25,974
Come on,
come on, let's go.
759
00:39:34,420 --> 00:39:37,287
Hey, you're the
Scranton guy?
760
00:39:37,356 --> 00:39:38,345
Guilty.
761
00:39:38,424 --> 00:39:40,722
I liked your
statement tonight.
762
00:39:41,060 --> 00:39:42,459
Thanks.
763
00:39:43,195 --> 00:39:45,789
This is the guy that
beat the computer.
764
00:39:45,865 --> 00:39:49,130
Very cool. Yeah, it was funny to
see Ryan all embarrassed by that.
765
00:39:49,201 --> 00:39:51,135
Yeah.
Yeah.
766
00:39:51,203 --> 00:39:52,465
See you later.
767
00:39:53,472 --> 00:39:54,564
Later on.
768
00:39:56,275 --> 00:40:01,542
I'm Ryan and tonight didn't go
the way that I thought it would,
769
00:40:01,614 --> 00:40:06,244
because it didn't work out for
me, and I'm very embarrassed.
770
00:40:06,318 --> 00:40:08,149
I have egg all over my face.
771
00:40:08,454 --> 00:40:09,716
I'm 12 years old.
772
00:40:09,788 --> 00:40:12,484
I spent so much time in Scranton,
but I never sold any paper.
773
00:40:12,558 --> 00:40:15,527
I never sold any paper
because I'm an idiot.
774
00:40:15,594 --> 00:40:18,256
I started a fire
with my cheese pita.
775
00:40:18,330 --> 00:40:20,389
I dated an Indian girl.
776
00:40:20,466 --> 00:40:22,263
I started a fire.
777
00:40:22,334 --> 00:40:23,323
I started a fire.
778
00:40:23,402 --> 00:40:24,494
Now I've got a beard.
779
00:40:24,570 --> 00:40:26,037
And I got a new suit,
and I'm your boss.
780
00:40:26,105 --> 00:40:27,697
I get everything
I want 'cause I'm very...
781
00:40:27,773 --> 00:40:29,468
I'm hot. I'm so hot.
782
00:40:29,542 --> 00:40:30,736
That's why everybody...
783
00:40:30,809 --> 00:40:32,071
I didn't get...
784
00:40:32,144 --> 00:40:33,634
I don't
understand that.
785
00:40:33,712 --> 00:40:35,839
That's part of it,
just a...
786
00:40:52,531 --> 00:40:53,793
Wanna head back?
787
00:40:55,167 --> 00:40:56,964
Yeah, let's go.
58779
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