All language subtitles for Schooled s02e19_English

LAINEY: Back in the '90s,
there was nothing
Principal Glascott

loved more
than the morning meeting.

It's where he got to bring
everyone up to speed

on what was happening
at his beloved William Penn.

Okay, so, we need
three more chaperones
for the Spring dance.

Uh, this weekend we'll be
cleaning out the kitchen,

so any food
that you leave behind

will become an app
for my book club.

Not my celery sticks!
(LAUGHS)

Also, tomorrow morning,
I will be going under
the knife and may die.

Wait, what?
Oh, it's nothing
to worry about.

It's just some very invasive,
life-threatening...procedure.

Oh, my God,
why didn't you
tell us sooner?

John, what's going on?

You can tell us.
We can handle it.

(SIGHS) I'm having
hallux valgus surgery.

John, should we get
a prayer chain going?

It sounds serious.
Calm down, people.

The man has a bunion.

Mee Maw Mellor had a bunion.

It's, uh,
a little extra bone
on your big toe.

Well, mine's actually
at the base of my baby toe,

medically referred to
as a "bunionette."

Anyways, I'll be out
for the next few days

and will need someone
to fill in as acting principal

while I'm gone
staring death in the face.

Or just your gross toe.

The person that I will be
passing the torch to is...

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS)

...CB.

Really?
Really?

Really?
Oh, my God!

I-I don't even...
I don't even know
what to say.

What an honor. Wow.

I promise to represent
this school

to the best of
my ability, John.

Relax, Miss America.
It's a couple days.

* One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here

* Live your life
and finally be free

* Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do

* Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" *

LAINEY: It was April 15th,
1990-something,

and Coach Mellor
and Julie's relationship

was chugging along
comfortably.

Ah! There's the light of my
very healthy and active life.

Are you ready for
Stouffer's French
Bread Pizza

and Nash Bridges
tonight?

Actually, I was thinking
that we could go see Rent

at the Forrest Theater,
you know, have a night out?

Great, but not on the night
of the season finale.

We didn't watch 23 episodes
of Nash Bridges

to miss the big finale.

I'm sure they'll just solve
the 24th crime,

but maybe we could go see
Rent tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night is, uh,
tuna casserole and Boggle.

The night after that?
Fajitas on the grill

and washing
the mesh pinnies
from gym class.

That's certainly
much better.

That's my girl!
Back on track!

(SMOOCHES AND CHUCKLES)

Rick, I don't
mean to pry.

Don't you, though?

But that woman is clearly
looking to get out
and have a little fun,

and all you want to do
is sit at home

eating and sniffing
kids' gym clothes.

Never at the same time.

You two are clearly
in a rut.

You're damn right
we are!

Wait, do you think
that's a good thing?

The rut is the dream!

I mean, it just means
that the relationship
is smooth sailing,

and there are
no kinks to iron out.

Do you ever
do date nights?

For us, every night
is a date night.

You just heard
three of them.

Did you hear
three date nights?

At this point, I don't
know if I can identify
a date night.

I mean, is that
when you go out
and listen to music

that isn't about
what direction the wheels
on the bus go?

I'm just trying
to help you.

Julie wants
to shake things up.

If you can't do that,
she may look for
someone who can.

Julie shakes
things up plenty!

In fact, lately, she's
been out studying
for her nursing exam

with her gal pal,
Leslie!

Hey, Rick.

Leslie's here,
and I wanted
you guys to meet.

Hi! You must be
Leslie's very ripped
and smoldering husband.

I'm Rick Mellor.
Nice to meet you.

(LAUGHING) No, Rick.

This is Leslie.

But you're a boy!

No, he is all man.

Yeah, people get it
confused all the time.

Don't feel bad.
(CHUCKLES)

Well, that sure
shook things up.

LAINEY: As Mellor was
beginning to worry

about Julie's new
study partner,

CB was starting the day off

with a fun spin
on the morning
announcements.

Good morning, William Penn!

I don't know if you've heard,

but there's a new
sheriff in town.

(COCONUT HALVES CLACKING)

(IMITATES HORSE WHINNYING)

It's me, Charlie Brown,
your temporary interim
principal!

Please mosey on over
for some counseling,

discipline,
or just a nice high-five.

(WOOD CLACKS)
My door will always be open,
and if it's shut,

just give me a nice,
little...

(KNOCKS ON TABLE)
...or a "ding-dong"!

To be clear, you're gonna
have to say "ding-dong"

because we don't actually
have a doorbell.

Now, giddy on up
to your classes, everybody!

(COCONUT HALVES CLACKING)

LAINEY: Yep, CB was feeling
great about his new gig.

That is, until he ran
into "The Pinkies,"

a trio of popular girls
who ruled the school.

They sometimes wore pink,
but always did this.

Hi!
Hi, Mr. Brown!

I mean, Principal Brown.

I heard Glascott's foot died
and you're in charge now.

Not entirely accurate,
but sure!

So, I'm having my birthday
bash this Saturday,
and I was wondering...

Oh, I am incredibly
flattered,

but it's also
my Nana's b-day,

and we are touring
the Yankee Candle Factory,

so... (CHUCKLES)
But I'll take a party bag.

Yeah, no.

Anyway,
my dad owns Kinko's,

so I'm kind of known
for having these rad
party invitations...

Full-color cardstock,
photo-gloss finish.

None of that matte garbage.

Yeah,
we hate that garbage.

Such garbage.
Stop it!

Anyway, this year
I want to go all-out

and surprise my guests

by putting their invitations
inside their lockers.

Oh, wow!
That is delightful!

You're such
a good friend.

So, can you do me
a teeny, tiny favor

and get me the combinations
to these 37 lockers?

Opening other
students' lockers to put
party invites in?

Sounds awesome!

Happy to oblige!
You're the best.

I'll send Marni later
to pick them up.

Bye-e-e!

Bye!

Hey. Did I just hear you
agree to give Gina
37 locker combinations?

Yeah,
for her birthday invites.

She's trying to make
her guests feel special.

It's the exact opposite.

She is trying to make
a very clear point

of how exclusive
her party is

so everyone who doesn't
get invited feels like crap.

Why would she do that?

That's what she feeds off of.
She's a monster.

Gina?
She's a classic mean girl.

The Pinkies are at
the top of the William Penn
social pyramid.

They decide who's cool
and who's not.

And they manipulate
anyone in their sights

and use them
however they see fit.

So they're
like super villains?

I'm just saying
you're principal right now,

and this party can
make for a pretty
rough couple of days.

Do you think that
I don't have
what it takes?

I'm just saying
you could really use
my help on this one.

I see
what's going on here.

Looks like someone
is jealous that Glascott
didn't pick you.

CB, this is not a power grab
for an unpaid temporary job.

Look, I was
a teenage girl once,

and I've had my fair share
of dust-ups
with their kind.

I know how to tangle.

Thank you,
but I am good,
all right?

And as your supervisor,
may I just say

to get your caboose
over to that
fifth period right now?

Toot-toot!

Without my train
sound-effect whistle,
it just doesn't pop.

(LAUGHS)

So, Julie tells me
you're a tremendous
athlete, Rick.

I, uh, played a little
high-school basketball.

Probably shirts and skins.

I imagine you played
on the skins team.

I'm imagining it
right now.

I played
high-school basketball,

but then I went on
to play college ball.

You got me beat there.

College ball
is a different beast.

I mean, I had a couple
of scholarship offers,

but then one morning
I just woke up
and I decided

to grab a backpack
and travel the world,

wherever the wind takes me.
And I'm speaking literally.

I was on
a one-man sailboat.

That's Leslie.
Mr. Spontaneity.

Well,
this has been great!

Uh, but, uh, Julie and I
have our regular

weekly Taco Tuesday lunch,
so...

Actually, Rick,
with the nursing test
coming up,

I want to get in
as much studying
as I can.

So Leslie and I are going
to have a "studying lunch"

on myology at the cafe
down the street.

Myology.
Nice meeting you, Rick.

Nice to meet you,
man Leslie.

And I'm sorry, but I think
I'm gonna have to skip
Nash Bridges tonight.

Leslie's coming over
so we can study anatomy.

Anatomy.

(COFFEE MUG TAPS LIGHTLY)

For the first time ever,
I envy Julie.

Wilma, you're right!

Julie and I
are in a rut!

No! You're in the rut!

Julie's climbed out
and is about to
free solo Mount Leslie!

LAINEY: The writing was
on the wall for Mellor.

As for Principal CB,
he was trying to get some
signatures for Glascott.

Come on, man.
That's all of my food.

Sorry, it's a "get well"
card for John.

I'm trying to get
the whole faculty to sign it.

I never know
what to write
in these things.

There's
too much pressure.

Okay. Mean girls.

I don't know what
Lainey's talking about.

Those three are thick
as thieves.

No!

Oh, Gina, Marni,
come on.

Oh, that's not good.

All right, time to be
Principal CB here
and get to work.

Are you about to talk
to Gina and her crew?

That is correct.

No. They're in
my Spanish class.

I call them
Las rosaditas del diablo.

"The devil's pinkies"?

Oh, my God, you, too?
Come on.

CB!
I've got this!

CB!

Hi, Jessica.

Everything okay?

I just got this
from Gina's people.

That'd be Marni.

"You're not invited."
What?

Right? I thought I was
a "Pinky for Life."

That's our motto.

Well,
did something happen?

I don't know.

Maybe I looked
at Todd weird.

Maybe my sweater
was too much like hers.

Maybe she's just jealous
because my hair

looks better
in a French braid.

Well, you know my motto...
"If you feel bad,

"tell the person
who made you feel bad

"and find out why
they made you feel bad

"so that you don't
feel bad."

That's super clunky.

I'll just
find other friends...

Or eat lunch alone
for the rest of my life.

That is not
a pink devil girl.

That is just
someone in need.

And lucky for her
she's got a principal
who won't give up.

Not giving up
is a big mistake.

(GROANS) You sound
just like Lainey.

Why, is she right, too?

I'm already
formulating a plan

that's not only
gonna help Jessica,

but it's gonna get
all three friends
back together.

Well, we're
gonna miss you
around here.

Good luck!

LAINEY: CB was
determined to solve the drama
between The Pinkies,

and I had thought up
a solution of my own.

Hey. Coop came by and told me
what happened with Jessica

getting de-invited
from Gina's party.

Yeah,
she's really upset.

I know how I can help.

I'll start a rumor there's
a Germantown party

the night of Gina's party
that Jessica's going to,

which will make
everyone go,

"What's the big
Germantown party?"

And Gina will be nervous
that kids are gonna
not go to her party.

So, to make sure the pretend
Germantown party

doesn't overwhelm her party,
she'll invite anyone,

including
the dis-invited Jessica.

Okay, you're acting
like a child,

whereas I'm the person
in charge.

So, while I appreciate your
input... Actually, not at all.

Who said that?
This stuff is clearly out
of your pay grade, okay?

Hi, Mr. Brown.
You wanted to see me?

Jessica, yes, I did.
Please take a seat.

Am I in trouble?

No, the opposite
of trouble.
Don't worry.

What are they
doing here?

What's she doing here?

Yeah, what's she
doing here?

What are all of them
doing here?

Chill. CB the Principal
has got this.

I am about
to turn back time.

You're gonna
sing like Cher?

No, something better.
Please, take a seat.

A journey through
the long history

of your beautiful
friendship,

as told by
the William Penn yearbook.

Here we go.

(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Oh, my God.
This isn't happening.

Aww, look at you guys.

Second grade.
Thick as thieves.

Speaking of thick,
you really did hold
on to that baby fat.

Yeah. I remember
you called me
"Miss Piggy."

Well, you do snort
when you laugh.
(CHUCKLES)

I don't think this is
making them any closer.

Let me start
my second-party rumor.

No! You are a teacher.
We do not start rumors,
okay?

I am principal,
authorized by John Glascott,

who may or may
not have survived
his bunion surgery.

So do not undermine me,
please.

And... First day
of high school!

Oh, my God, you never
gave me that shirt back!

I did you a favor.

As if you've
ever been able
to pull off olive.

Klepto!
Bitch!

Christmas pageant!
Abort!

They feel your desperation,
and it repulses them!

You know what?
You are both officially
off my party list!

(BOTH GASP)

But, "Pinkies for Life."

Why don't you
put that away?

CB's plan hadn't worked out
like he'd hoped.

(DOORBELL RINGS)
Meanwhile, Julie and Leslie
were hoping to have

a productive study session.

Hey-oh!

Rick, what are
you doing here?

Brought you some brain food
for your study sesh.

Unexpected.

Some might even say
spontaneous.

We've got, uh, manchego,
chorizo, pan y mantequilla.

That all sounds
delicious.

Well, I thought we'd get
a head start on the food
we'll be eating in...

(SPANISH ACCENT) Barcelona!

(GASPS)
Which is the first stop
on our spontaneous

trip around the world.

Oh, Barcelona
is beautiful.

If you go, you must
see the Basilica
de la Sagrada Familia.

Must we?
And do me a favor.

Go to the Cafe de l'Opera,
tell Roberto I sent you,

and ask him to make you his
special paella de Leslie.

Nah, we're not gonna
have any time for that.
Pack a bag, baby!

This is, uh, all very sudden
and... And exciting!

I know. I don't even
have a passport.

But I can't travel
or go anywhere
until after I take

my nurse practitioner
certification test.

All right, well,
we'll put a spontaneous pin
in our spontaneous trip!

Thank you.
And when you ace this test,

I am personally gonna
have a name plate made
that says

"School Nurse Practitioner
Julie."

We can even bring it
to Barcelona.

Rick, I'm taking this test
so I can get a job
back at the hospital

and continue to learn
and advance my career.

But your career
is at William Penn,
with me.

I like working
at the school,

but for me,
it was always temporary.

Julie's an exceptional nurse.

In fact, when she passes
her certification,

I'm gonna do my best
to get her a position

at Abington Memorial
with me.

With you?
Yes, that's where
Leslie works.

And he said he's gonna
put in a good word

with his
department head.

That's very helpful
of you, Leslie.

I appreciate you extending
the courtesy to my girlfriend.

(BREATHES SHARPLY)
Ah, you're truly
a good guy.

Leslie's truly an (BLEEP).

I'm gonna take him down
and show Julie
I'm the dominant male.

Seems like so far,
he's dominated you
everywhere.

Which is why the next battle
will be in my arena!

(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS)

(MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS)

You're gonna play him
in badminton?

No, one-on-one basketball,
or as they say in Barcelona,

uno-a-uno
en baloncesto.

LAINEY: While Mellor
was getting pumped to go
head-to-head with Leslie,

CB was feeling deflated
due to some tough feedback
from his boss.

So, I heard all about
your Pinkies disaster.

John, I have got everything
under control, all right?

It's just
three upset friends.

Oh, this is way bigger
than upset friends.

The whole party is off.

I got Marni's mom up my ass
'cause she can't get a refund

for her daughter's
dumb sequin party dress.

Like somehow it's
my fault she lost the receipt
from Wet Seal.

I'm... I'm sorry.
GLASCOTT:
Oh, that's not all.

Gina's dad permanently
revoked our school's discount

on all banner printings
from Kinko's.

So I guess
the football players
will be taking the field

running through nothing!

It's hard to cheer
for that

'cause you can see them
the whole time.

And Jessica and Marni
both dropped out
of the school musical

and took
all the other girls
with them

to show solidarity
against Gina!

Now it's just Guys?
No Dolls?

Sorry to interrupt,
but I thought you should know

I was just able
to subdue

a colossal food fight
in the cafeteria.

What happened?
All I really know is what with
The Pinkies disbanding,

the students feel no need to
abide by the rules of society.

Don't worry.
I'll clean it up.

Just be careful out there!

Oh, my God,
it's even worse
than I thought!

I can fix this, all right?

We haven't even
tried puppets yet
with the girls.

And as you know,
that is the ultimate
conflict resolution tool.

You do not have the authority
to go into my puppet drawer!

(DRAWER SLAMS)

Oh, God, and to think
this could all
have been solved

with a rumor
about a competing party!

That is what
I've been saying!

You have?

I see.

Lainey Lewis,
you are now

the new Interim Principal
of William Penn.

Huh?
Well, well done.

Guess you've got everything
you ever wanted.

What?
Yeah, you've been gunning
for my job since Day One.

This is Day One.

You've angled
and you've played,
and you know what?

You are just like
those Pinkie girls.

You are
a Pinkie teacher.

So, bye-e.

LAINEY:
As CB was giving me
the cold shoulder,

Mellor was warming up for his
one-on-one game with Leslie.

All right, Rick.
It's game time.

Leslie hasn't arrived yet,
but when he does,

I am prepared to give him

the worst
basketball-related
beat-down

since the Jocks
defeated the Rocks

in MTV's
Rock Jock B-Ball Jam '93.

Why do you
even know that?

That event was
the perfect confluence

of my love for basketball
and my disdain for Urkel

and his abject refusal to
admit that he did "do that."

Hey, Rick.
Ready to hoop it up.

Where are the rest
of the guys?

The rest
of the eight guys flaked.

I don't know why I keep
inviting those eight guys.
They always flake.

They're the flakiest
eight guys I know.

Right, Wilma?
Don't involve me
in your weirdness.

Well, since it's just
you and I,

what do you say
we go one-on-one?

Uh, yeah, sure.
Just give me
a minute to stretch.

All right!
(CHUCKLES)

My plan is going off
like clockwork.

Julie will arrive
in the middle of the game

and see me
dominating Leslie,

and that image
will be seared
into her brain.

Leslie, a sniveling loser,

curled up
in the fetal position
on the gym floor

while I stand over him

like a mythical
basketball Minotaur,

half man, half bull!

All champion!

All right, I'm ready.
Ah, time to play.

Now, so we know
who's on whose team,
let's go shirts and skins.

Rick, you're shirts.

I guess that makes
you skins, Leslie.

Pop that top, big boy!

It's pretty clear
what the teams are, Wilma.
Let's do this!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

**

LAINEY: Word spread
of Coach's heated
one-on-one game.

And soon enough, there was
a full house watching,

as Mellor dominated Leslie.

(CROWD CHEERING)

**

Time!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Julie, what a nice surprise.

You asked me
to come here.

Are you playing
one-on-one
against Leslie?

Yeah, just for fun.
I mean, I'm the 15
and he's the 6,

so I'm winning
by a lot.

Why don't you sit down
and enjoy the game?

Sure.
Time back in!

Since I've been
running away
with this,

I'll go a little
easier on you,
starting about now.

(CROWD CHEERS)

STUDENTS: (CHANTING) Mellor!

(COUGHS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

Tom's choking!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Come here.
Come on. Come on.

I gotcha. I gotcha.

(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS)

Oh, my God, Leslie!

You saved his life!

STUDENTS: (CHANTING) Leslie!

No, no.

Let's not forget the score.

It's 18-6.
(CHANTING CONTINUES)

Did you see
what Leslie did?
Can you believe it?

Yeah,
he stole my thunder.

Tom Scott was choking.

Yeah, well,
he's partially
to blame, too.

Rick, are you jealous
of Leslie?

Of course I'm jealous.
He's got a paella named
after him, for God's sake!

I'm just
some boring routine guy

who makes you stay at home
and wash gym clothes.

You deserve that job
and to spend all your
time with him.

Rick.
Don't.

And it's true.
We are stuck in a rut.

Maybe going to work
with Leslie

is the best way
to get out of it.

(BALL BOUNCES)

LAINEY: After calling me out
as a mean girl,

CB was going
to get back at me by pulling
a mean girl move of his own.

Oh, I'm sorry.
This party is invite-only.

What party?
This is the teachers' lounge.

With balloons
and a cheese plate.

No.
Yeah, so clearly a party.

The cheese choice
is yellow or white.

With either Ritz crackers
or broken Ritz crackers.

And again,
if you don't have
a party invite,

you're gonna
have to skedaddle

'cause this is
an exclusive private event.

Okay, I see
what you're doing.

Gosh,
the tables have certainly
been turned on me.

Oh, my God!

A party for me
and my new perfectly
symmetrical feet?

Oh, uh...
So, Lainey,
how'd everything go?

Pretty good.
Pinkie problem solved.

CB reluctantly helped me
start a Germantown party rumor

that worked so well

there somehow actually is
a Germantown party now.

A bunch of kids over there
are disappointed
they're not invited,

but, hey, not our problem.

Not our problem at all.
(CHUCKLES)

So, I'm glad you two
got to work together.

Well, I guess
it was dumb
to think that

old photos of The Pinkies
would remind them

how much they care
about each other.

(LAUGHS) Yeah, Gina Rivera
has no feelings whatsoever.

But it doesn't matter
whose idea it was.
It got it done.

Well, it was Lainey,
so here's your
new heir apparent.

I have no interest
in this job.

But I did.

I always thought
I would follow in
your footsteps, John,

going from teacher
to counselor to principal.

You still can.
But I sucked at it.

So what if you have
to go to Lainey

to help you
with a student issue

or to Coop
to help you plan
this awesome party

or Johnny Atkins to get
the beanies and/or weenies
off the cafeteria wall?

For the record,
it was both.

Good leaders
don't do everything
themselves.

They get the best
out of everyone they lead.

It's true, CB.

And just so you know,
I was on your side
the whole time.

There's no one
that can inspire

this entire school
the way you do.

Thanks, guys.

Now let's get that
"welcome back" party
started!

Coop, what all
do you have planned?

Uh, we... Um, uh.
(CHUCKLING) Whoa...

(HOOTIE & THE BLOWFISH'S
HOLD MY HAND PLAYS)

LAINEY: CB was taking
everything Glascott and I
said to heart.

* With a little love
and some tenderness *

LAINEY: Meanwhile,
Julie was hoping to have

a heart-to-heart of her own
with Mellor.

Are you rocky-roading
at 8:00 a.m.?

With rainbow sprinkles.

Not even the new
confetti colors

can brighten the darkness
I feel inside.

Look,
Leslie is just a friend.

That's all he's ever been.
And the job?

Even though I always planned
on leaving this school

for bigger
career opportunities,

I never planned
on leaving you.

With this new job,
you're gonna be leaving
at the crack of dawn,

you'll come home late,
exhausted.

I just feel like we're
not gonna have
as much time together.

But maybe there's a way
that we could add to the time

that we see each other
outside of school.

Like, on the weekends?

I was thinking
during the week,

if, uh, maybe
we moved in together?

Wow!

Not... Not immediately
or anything, but...
But someday.

Because no matter
how much life changes,

I always want you
there with me.

And I, too, also,
with change, want that.

For the changes... Wait.

I understand.

I love you.
Oh, I love you.

LAINEY:
Life can throw a lot
of changes our way.

(CLACKING)
And sometimes those changes
can make us feel insecure,

and we second-guess
ourselves.

That's why, as long as you
stay true to who you are,

those insecurities
will fade away.

And if you keep an open mind,
you'll find your friendships

will flourish
more than ever.

And who knows?

You might even discover
a new one in the process.

Or learn a lesson
and make an improvement

in one that you already have

and cherish
with all your heart.

**

Good morning,
William Penn!

(IMITATES ROOSTER CROWING)

I hope everyone
had a great weekend,

even though we had
all that rain...

(KERNELS PATTERING)

...wind...
(HAIR DRYER BLOWING)

...and thunder!

(FOIL WHOOSHING LIGHTLY)

That sounds
nothing like it.

It's all I have, John.
Workshop it.

Anyway, we have
a great week
coming up.

Wednesday night's
the varsity
basketball game.

(BASKETBALL THUMPING)
(IMITATES CROWD ROARING)

Hopefully there won't be
any broken bones.

(CELERY SNAPS)
Because we don't want anyone
carted off in an ambulance.

(IMITATES ENGLISH SIREN)

In England?

(IMITATES AMERICAN SIREN)

You guys need to stop!

Okay, uh,
let's put on the brakes.

(IMITATES BRAKES SCREECHING)
CB, please give it a rest.

(SNORING)
(GLASCOTT CHUCKLES)

Hey,
I think we're a hit.