All language subtitles for Brockmire - 04x05 - Double Header.SVA-AVS.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,704 Limon, do I love Jim again? 2 00:00:01,706 --> 00:00:03,528 - Yes. - Shit! 3 00:00:03,530 --> 00:00:05,552 Previously on "Brockmire"... 4 00:00:05,554 --> 00:00:06,935 - Oh, Jules. - Hi! 5 00:00:06,937 --> 00:00:09,100 Jim said you two were working together again. 6 00:00:09,102 --> 00:00:11,293 We just had sex, so he's a little tuckered out, 7 00:00:11,295 --> 00:00:12,896 but I'll see if I can razz him. 8 00:00:12,898 --> 00:00:14,016 Like if I'm emotional, 9 00:00:14,018 --> 00:00:16,330 it's cause I'm proud of you, darling. 10 00:00:16,332 --> 00:00:17,624 Let me tell you, your mother, 11 00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,756 she'd be very, very proud of you as well. 12 00:00:21,178 --> 00:00:22,428 - How's it going in there? - _ 13 00:00:22,430 --> 00:00:23,929 Give me some privacy. 14 00:00:23,931 --> 00:00:27,110 Left a wide variety of menstrual options for you. 15 00:00:27,112 --> 00:00:30,324 Pads are easiest, panty liners if it's a light flow. 16 00:00:30,326 --> 00:00:32,201 And I've been hearing a lot of good chatter lately 17 00:00:32,203 --> 00:00:34,286 in my moms' group about the Diva cub. 18 00:00:34,288 --> 00:00:37,540 I don't wanna bleed into a tiny bucket, Dad. 19 00:00:37,542 --> 00:00:39,458 Just let me use a tampon in peace. 20 00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:42,211 You know, the ancient Egyptians used a tampon. 21 00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:45,214 It was reed wrapped in soft papyrus. 22 00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:47,258 These "pessarions" as they were called 23 00:00:47,260 --> 00:00:49,725 were a luxury of the upper class. 24 00:00:49,727 --> 00:00:52,317 The unrelenting Egyptian sun combined with the... 25 00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:54,265 well, the less-than-absorbent papyrus 26 00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:56,851 meant that you had to change the thing once every hour. 27 00:00:56,853 --> 00:01:00,062 Well, if you could afford to do that, let's just say 28 00:01:00,064 --> 00:01:02,765 you probably owned yourself a boatload of Jews. 29 00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:06,269 Stop, please. It's done, okay? 30 00:01:06,271 --> 00:01:09,887 Let's never talk about this again. 31 00:01:09,889 --> 00:01:11,683 Hey. 32 00:01:13,528 --> 00:01:17,282 Oh, sweetie, did you leave the applicator in? 33 00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:19,949 You did, didn't ya? 34 00:01:19,951 --> 00:01:22,618 Gonna have to work out a better system than this, darling, 35 00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:24,203 'cause it's only the beginning. 36 00:01:24,205 --> 00:01:26,039 I mean, what's gonna happen when we need to discuss 37 00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:27,582 your upcoming sexual awakening? 38 00:01:27,584 --> 00:01:30,460 I mean, your fertile years, they are upon us. 39 00:01:30,462 --> 00:01:32,295 - Dad. - What? 40 00:01:32,297 --> 00:01:33,880 Very treacherous road and, boy, 41 00:01:33,882 --> 00:01:36,007 I'm not wearing the proper shoes for it. 42 00:01:36,009 --> 00:01:38,217 Is there a woman I can talk to? 43 00:01:38,219 --> 00:01:39,761 Oh, I wish. 44 00:01:39,763 --> 00:01:43,725 I wish I knew some sex-positive woman with enough knowledge... 45 00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:46,313 Oh, shit, I do. 46 00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:49,919 So if you have any questions about anal sex 47 00:01:49,921 --> 00:01:54,105 or oral sex or any sex, you just ask. 48 00:01:54,107 --> 00:01:56,691 So, you've had all the sex? 49 00:01:56,693 --> 00:01:58,859 All that can be had. 50 00:01:58,861 --> 00:02:00,236 But that's who I am. 51 00:02:00,238 --> 00:02:03,531 There are asexual people out there who are just as satisfied 52 00:02:03,533 --> 00:02:05,866 with their lives as I am with mine. 53 00:02:05,868 --> 00:02:09,704 You know what, I just want you to know the important thing is 54 00:02:09,706 --> 00:02:12,732 sex doesn't have to be bad or scary, 55 00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:14,776 and it should... 56 00:02:14,778 --> 00:02:16,111 always feel good. 57 00:02:16,113 --> 00:02:18,918 Oh, I can see that you're getting overwhelmed. 58 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,740 We are getting ahead of ourselves. 59 00:02:20,742 --> 00:02:23,577 Look, I brought you something. 60 00:02:23,579 --> 00:02:25,203 This is very basic. 61 00:02:25,205 --> 00:02:28,206 It just has three settings, but for my money, 62 00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:31,042 number two hits the sweet spot. 63 00:02:31,044 --> 00:02:34,462 So we're just gonna put this right over on the shelf, 64 00:02:34,464 --> 00:02:37,257 and one day, when you are ready, 65 00:02:37,259 --> 00:02:42,721 it will be waiting for you to begin your own exploration. 66 00:02:42,723 --> 00:02:45,309 Okay? 67 00:02:48,415 --> 00:02:50,063 What happened to "I haven't dated 68 00:02:50,065 --> 00:02:51,605 since I became a single father"? 69 00:02:51,607 --> 00:02:53,273 Who's dating? 70 00:02:53,275 --> 00:02:55,887 - After Lucy's first little visit there, - _ 71 00:02:55,889 --> 00:02:58,591 she would stop by every time she was in town, and you know... 72 00:02:58,593 --> 00:03:00,699 - We formed an ecosystem. - Yeah. 73 00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:02,823 Beth needed a maternal figure, 74 00:03:02,825 --> 00:03:06,036 I longed for a sense of family that didn't feel like a trap, 75 00:03:06,038 --> 00:03:09,204 and Jim was pent up with years 76 00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:12,140 of incredible untapped sexual energy. 77 00:03:12,142 --> 00:03:14,072 Oh, well, hey now, please don't sell yourself short, 78 00:03:14,074 --> 00:03:16,867 because it was your prowess that ignited that cannon. 79 00:03:16,869 --> 00:03:18,243 It was. 80 00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:21,400 It's not flattery, Jim, ask around the sex club. 81 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:24,541 Your powerful orgasms have quite the reputation. 82 00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:26,501 - Sex club? - It's nothing weird. 83 00:03:26,503 --> 00:03:28,712 Look, Lucy and I, we're platonic exes 84 00:03:28,714 --> 00:03:30,547 who occasionally have sex in public, 85 00:03:30,549 --> 00:03:32,966 and sometimes we raise a daughter together. 86 00:03:32,968 --> 00:03:35,969 - It really is that simple. - Is it, Lucy? 87 00:03:35,971 --> 00:03:38,597 Can I remind you please, that, earlier today, 88 00:03:38,599 --> 00:03:42,184 you yelled "boo" right into my face when I suggested 89 00:03:42,186 --> 00:03:44,019 the possibility of a future together? 90 00:03:44,021 --> 00:03:46,062 I mean, something changed? 91 00:03:46,064 --> 00:03:48,315 Look how sweaty and frazzled she is. 92 00:03:48,317 --> 00:03:53,040 She clearly ran here to confess her love for you. 93 00:03:53,042 --> 00:03:54,317 Holy shit. 94 00:03:54,319 --> 00:03:55,550 That's not true, is it? 95 00:03:56,743 --> 00:03:59,201 I just listened to you two go on 96 00:03:59,203 --> 00:04:00,869 about your hole filling sessions 97 00:04:00,871 --> 00:04:04,164 like a couple of goddamn weekly pickup basketball games. 98 00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:07,657 I'm not exactly in the mood to profess my love. 99 00:04:07,659 --> 00:04:09,724 You love me? 100 00:04:09,726 --> 00:04:13,375 Speech, speech, speech. 101 00:04:13,377 --> 00:04:16,051 I know you mean well, but that is not gonna help 102 00:04:16,053 --> 00:04:17,636 untangle this clusterfuck. 103 00:04:17,638 --> 00:04:19,831 You're right, I am so sorry. 104 00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:22,098 This is so great. I'm gonna leave you two 105 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:26,019 to enjoy this beautiful moment in private. 106 00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:28,855 Oh, oh, oh, you know, I thought I had all the Jim out of me, 107 00:04:28,857 --> 00:04:30,941 but it's like a lava lamp just broke in there. 108 00:04:30,943 --> 00:04:32,025 Excuse me. 109 00:04:32,027 --> 00:04:34,527 I just need to use the restroom. 110 00:04:34,529 --> 00:04:35,894 I'm gonna go now. 111 00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:37,758 Whoa, whoa! 112 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,321 Jules, wait, Jules, hey, come on. 113 00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:43,787 Why can't we just have one normal chapter in our love story? 114 00:04:43,789 --> 00:04:45,830 'Cause I'm not a normal man, Jules, 115 00:04:45,832 --> 00:04:47,332 and you are not a normal woman. 116 00:04:47,334 --> 00:04:48,541 You are exceptional. 117 00:04:48,543 --> 00:04:50,085 Now I want you to trust me, please. 118 00:04:50,087 --> 00:04:52,194 There is nothing going on between Lucy and I. 119 00:04:52,196 --> 00:04:53,213 Watch this. 120 00:04:53,215 --> 00:04:56,466 Lucy, we can never, ever have sex again! 121 00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:57,884 Totally fine! 122 00:04:57,886 --> 00:04:59,928 And I like the way things are trending out there. 123 00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:01,346 Now, please, please, 124 00:05:01,348 --> 00:05:03,306 I'll make whatever commitment you want me to make. 125 00:05:03,308 --> 00:05:04,542 Gimme that speech 126 00:05:04,544 --> 00:05:06,226 you were itching to deliver on my doorstep. 127 00:05:06,228 --> 00:05:07,894 I have never been on the receiving end 128 00:05:07,896 --> 00:05:10,607 of a declaration of love before. 129 00:05:21,785 --> 00:05:24,411 Wanna do this thing or not? 130 00:05:24,413 --> 00:05:26,288 I feel like there had to be more to it than that 131 00:05:26,290 --> 00:05:28,206 because we are the Sid and Nancy of baseball, 132 00:05:28,208 --> 00:05:29,916 we are reuniting, I mean, there's a story there... 133 00:05:29,918 --> 00:05:33,280 I am being so cool right now, all things considered! 134 00:05:33,282 --> 00:05:34,587 You really are. You really are. 135 00:05:34,589 --> 00:05:36,589 And of course I would love to give things another shot. 136 00:05:36,591 --> 00:05:38,508 You know, in the past, we never worked out 137 00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:41,094 because I always made you take care of me, ugh. 138 00:05:41,096 --> 00:05:43,430 I just really wanna take care of you now. 139 00:05:43,432 --> 00:05:45,056 Well, that's a little better. 140 00:05:45,058 --> 00:05:47,043 Little more of that, little more of this, 141 00:05:47,045 --> 00:05:48,810 and the three of us might make it out of this thing alive. 142 00:05:48,812 --> 00:05:51,187 Well, four of us, 'cause my daughter, Beth, 143 00:05:51,189 --> 00:05:52,814 is due here any minute for the weekend. 144 00:05:52,816 --> 00:05:55,230 Boy, I cannot wait for my two favorite people 145 00:05:55,232 --> 00:05:56,401 to finally meet each other. 146 00:05:56,403 --> 00:05:58,153 Yeah, we don't have to rush right into that. 147 00:05:58,155 --> 00:05:59,529 Kinda do, because we're coming out 148 00:05:59,531 --> 00:06:00,831 of a little bit of a rough patch. 149 00:06:00,833 --> 00:06:02,574 I need to prove to her that I have a life 150 00:06:02,576 --> 00:06:04,617 independent of just being her father, 151 00:06:04,619 --> 00:06:07,787 so, well, I need her to sign off on the relationship. 152 00:06:07,789 --> 00:06:09,706 - What now? - Hey, Dad. 153 00:06:09,708 --> 00:06:11,458 Beth, hey. Hey, darling. 154 00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:14,002 I'd like for you to meet Julia... 155 00:06:14,004 --> 00:06:16,254 - Oh, Beth! - Lucy! 156 00:06:16,256 --> 00:06:18,388 Hi, oh, my God! 157 00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:20,339 - You're so beautiful. - Hi. 158 00:06:20,341 --> 00:06:23,470 - Oh, I'm so proud of you. - Oh, I missed you so much. 159 00:06:23,472 --> 00:06:26,014 - When did you get in? - Oh, just a few hours ago. 160 00:06:26,016 --> 00:06:29,071 Look at you, you're so radiant. I'm so proud of you. 161 00:06:29,073 --> 00:06:31,770 Oh, my God, I have so much to catch you up on. 162 00:06:31,772 --> 00:06:32,886 So much I have to tell you. 163 00:06:32,888 --> 00:06:34,170 Can you, like, do brunch tomorrow? 164 00:06:34,172 --> 00:06:35,395 - Can you do brunch? - I wish. 165 00:06:35,397 --> 00:06:37,359 - I'm just in and out. - No! 166 00:06:37,361 --> 00:06:39,402 No, can you stay a little bit longer? 167 00:06:39,404 --> 00:06:40,844 You can't talk? 168 00:06:40,846 --> 00:06:42,180 I can... 169 00:06:43,189 --> 00:06:44,670 Have brunch tomorrow. 170 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,111 Who are you? 171 00:06:46,113 --> 00:06:49,825 This is Julia James, who I told you about so often. 172 00:06:51,090 --> 00:06:52,299 O-okay. 173 00:06:53,293 --> 00:06:56,211 And Beth Brockmire's lukewarm "okay" 174 00:06:56,213 --> 00:06:58,671 puts brunch on the table! 175 00:06:58,673 --> 00:07:00,884 Yeah! 176 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,295 Give it up for Envy! 177 00:07:07,912 --> 00:07:10,736 All right, everyone, enjoy your brunch, 178 00:07:10,738 --> 00:07:14,892 and don't forget... it's bottomless mimosas. 179 00:07:16,818 --> 00:07:18,229 You use cash? 180 00:07:18,231 --> 00:07:19,795 You know you can pay for everything 181 00:07:19,797 --> 00:07:21,588 with your phone now, right? 182 00:07:21,590 --> 00:07:23,006 I know, I just think there's something 183 00:07:23,008 --> 00:07:24,549 more honest about a fistful of singles. 184 00:07:24,551 --> 00:07:26,400 You know, we could have just gone to 185 00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:28,178 a normal brunch place. 186 00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:31,890 This place is a little, uh, 2010s. 187 00:07:31,892 --> 00:07:35,729 Yeah, I asked Limon what a good place would be 188 00:07:35,731 --> 00:07:38,563 that would be memorable, and, uh... 189 00:07:38,565 --> 00:07:40,816 Oh. 190 00:07:40,818 --> 00:07:45,605 So tell me about, uh, school. What grade are you in? 191 00:07:45,607 --> 00:07:48,442 Uh, 15th, I guess. 192 00:07:48,444 --> 00:07:51,208 If you wanna call it that. 193 00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:52,250 Yeah. 194 00:07:52,252 --> 00:07:54,129 And what are your favorite subjects. 195 00:07:54,131 --> 00:07:56,298 - Do you like... - Why are we doing this? 196 00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,092 I just... we're just... two girls 197 00:07:59,094 --> 00:08:01,958 having a super fun girls' bonding brunch. 198 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,306 Excuse me, I'm a little dry here! 199 00:08:04,308 --> 00:08:07,400 Why do I need to bond with you? 200 00:08:07,402 --> 00:08:10,237 I don't know, why do you need to bond with Lucy? 201 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:14,399 Well, I mean, Lucy, she's a feminist pioneer, 202 00:08:14,401 --> 00:08:19,001 she's a sex educator, she's an entrepreneur. 203 00:08:19,003 --> 00:08:22,817 I actually tried that mojito flavored lube she invented 204 00:08:22,819 --> 00:08:25,779 and... couldn't get a buzz. 205 00:08:25,781 --> 00:08:27,412 Are you and my dad getting back together? 206 00:08:27,414 --> 00:08:29,647 Is that something you'd be okay with? 207 00:08:29,649 --> 00:08:31,625 That's what this is? 208 00:08:31,627 --> 00:08:33,168 You need my stamp of approval? 209 00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:35,087 God, we're two different people, 210 00:08:35,089 --> 00:08:37,417 with two completely different lives. 211 00:08:37,419 --> 00:08:38,858 When is he gonna start seeing that? 212 00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:40,008 Aren't you being a little dramatic? 213 00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,293 I mean, there are worse things. 214 00:08:41,295 --> 00:08:43,789 I'm sure the people of The Disputed Lands would kill 215 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,013 for their biggest problem to be 216 00:08:45,015 --> 00:08:46,431 that their daddies love them too much. 217 00:08:46,433 --> 00:08:47,891 You know, my dad always talked about 218 00:08:47,893 --> 00:08:50,022 how great you were, but I don't know. 219 00:08:50,024 --> 00:08:52,219 From where I'm sitting, you're just a washed up alcoholic 220 00:08:52,221 --> 00:08:54,537 - who blew up a magician. - He blew himself up. 221 00:08:54,539 --> 00:08:58,787 So because you dated my dad for a couple months, 222 00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:02,364 like, 15 years ago, you think you have all of the answers? 223 00:09:02,366 --> 00:09:03,812 I don't know if I have all the answers, 224 00:09:03,814 --> 00:09:06,618 but I'm pretty sure I can solve your most pressing problem. 225 00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,772 - Yeah? - How 'bout trying to not be 226 00:09:08,774 --> 00:09:12,332 such a bitch all the time? 227 00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:13,500 Help me? 228 00:09:13,502 --> 00:09:15,889 Limon, I really want this place to feel 229 00:09:15,891 --> 00:09:17,879 like a home for all three of us. 230 00:09:17,881 --> 00:09:19,548 That's very thoughtful, Jim. 231 00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:21,968 Probably need to make it more female-friendly in here. 232 00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:24,720 Tell you what, why don't you get me a case of Chardonnay, 233 00:09:24,722 --> 00:09:27,524 some magazines about awful, terrible, 234 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:30,641 horrible, stupid people, and two more throw pillows 235 00:09:30,643 --> 00:09:32,519 than the common sense amount for each room. 236 00:09:32,521 --> 00:09:34,604 That's very sexist, Jim. 237 00:09:34,606 --> 00:09:37,941 Yeah, well, so is your mother, Limon. 238 00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:43,447 Occupied. 239 00:09:43,449 --> 00:09:44,823 It's Beth. 240 00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:46,408 Walk away Beth. 241 00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:48,436 You were talking shit back there 242 00:09:48,438 --> 00:09:50,624 like someone who's never been in a fight before, 243 00:09:50,626 --> 00:09:52,831 and unless you wanna rectify that right now, 244 00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:55,625 a face-to-face is unwise. 245 00:09:55,627 --> 00:09:58,005 I really have to pee, though, please. 246 00:10:01,967 --> 00:10:04,678 Huh, whoa, okay. Thank God. 247 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:11,767 Look, I'm not going anywhere 248 00:10:11,769 --> 00:10:13,513 and your dad's not gonna change, 249 00:10:13,515 --> 00:10:15,520 so how's about we just tell him we fuckin' bonded 250 00:10:15,522 --> 00:10:16,813 and call it a day. 251 00:10:16,815 --> 00:10:17,861 Yeah, sounds great. 252 00:10:17,863 --> 00:10:19,556 Anything to end this nightmare brunch. 253 00:10:19,558 --> 00:10:20,934 Great. 254 00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:24,905 And how do you know if I've never been in a fight before? 255 00:10:24,907 --> 00:10:26,257 You're a talker, just like he is. 256 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,636 I'm a fighter. Fighters always know. 257 00:10:30,795 --> 00:10:33,277 Hey, let me hit that. 258 00:10:33,279 --> 00:10:34,905 Please. 259 00:10:36,391 --> 00:10:37,934 Good call. 260 00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:43,924 I like to drink on the toilet, too. 261 00:10:43,926 --> 00:10:47,094 Why do you even wanna get back with my dad? 262 00:10:47,096 --> 00:10:51,431 I mean, in all the stories he told, he was awful. 263 00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:54,893 Come on, I actually wanna know. 264 00:10:54,895 --> 00:10:56,230 He sees me. 265 00:10:57,763 --> 00:11:01,931 My schemes, my stubbornness, 266 00:11:01,933 --> 00:11:03,604 the drinking, the rage, 267 00:11:03,606 --> 00:11:06,289 and he doesn't just see these as flaws. 268 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,710 He actually finds them delightful. 269 00:11:09,743 --> 00:11:12,994 He's the only one who's ever loved all of me. 270 00:11:17,292 --> 00:11:19,211 That's kinda sweet. 271 00:11:27,052 --> 00:11:29,636 We never even got a food order in. 272 00:11:29,638 --> 00:11:32,472 By food do you mean booze? 273 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,516 It's how I eat three meals a day. 274 00:11:34,518 --> 00:11:38,353 - All right. - Okay, okay. 275 00:11:38,355 --> 00:11:41,358 Mmm. 276 00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:46,447 Okay, Dolly! 277 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:49,531 Can I have another mimosa please? 278 00:11:49,533 --> 00:11:50,782 You got it, sugar. 279 00:11:50,784 --> 00:11:53,493 Hey, what do you say we get some real drinks, 280 00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,663 and turn this brunch into a "drunch". 281 00:11:56,665 --> 00:11:59,283 A Long Island ice tea, please. 282 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,668 Nope, she won't... she won't have that. 283 00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:03,295 Hold on. 284 00:12:03,297 --> 00:12:07,924 Okay, uh, do you guys do Jagerbombs? 285 00:12:07,926 --> 00:12:10,173 Okay, you just give me five minutes, 286 00:12:10,175 --> 00:12:13,096 and bring me a scotch while I deal with this. 287 00:12:13,098 --> 00:12:14,766 - Okay. - Yeah? 288 00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:17,392 Are you cutting me off? 289 00:12:17,394 --> 00:12:19,436 What is going on? 290 00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:22,068 You walk into a bar with the name Brockmire, 291 00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:24,357 people expect a certain level of professionalism. 292 00:12:24,359 --> 00:12:25,901 Instead it's amateur hour. 293 00:12:25,903 --> 00:12:28,487 Well, I don't know, I never got to meet 294 00:12:28,489 --> 00:12:31,009 Jim Brockmire, legendary drunk. 295 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:34,632 All I had was my dad, who's a teetotaling hawk 296 00:12:34,634 --> 00:12:37,454 who would sniff my breath anytime I came home after dark. 297 00:12:37,456 --> 00:12:39,789 Did nobody ever teach you how to drink? 298 00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:41,875 Especially not someone who could pick it all up 299 00:12:41,877 --> 00:12:43,502 on their corporate credit card. 300 00:12:43,504 --> 00:12:44,836 Credit card? Don't you know 301 00:12:44,838 --> 00:12:47,223 you can pay for everything on your phone now? 302 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:49,101 Okay, baseball, baseball, 303 00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:51,735 baseball, baseball... this is now officially a business meeting. 304 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:54,201 so let's reach for that top shelf. 305 00:12:54,203 --> 00:12:55,517 - Yeah? - Yes, okay. 306 00:12:55,519 --> 00:12:57,182 - Here's the thing. - Mm-hmm. 307 00:12:57,184 --> 00:13:00,227 The alcohol you drink is who you wanna be. 308 00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:02,412 When you order a Long Island ice tea, 309 00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:04,457 you're telling the world, "I'm gonna suck your dick, 310 00:13:04,459 --> 00:13:07,751 but then I'm gonna puke all over it afterwards", all right? 311 00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:09,192 Now, I used to drink white wine 312 00:13:09,194 --> 00:13:10,950 'cause I wanted to be day drunk all night long. 313 00:13:10,952 --> 00:13:11,999 Now I drink whiskey 314 00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:13,784 'cause I just prefer to be mean and numb. 315 00:13:13,786 --> 00:13:15,369 That sounds sad. 316 00:13:15,371 --> 00:13:18,335 I want something fun, like, vodka? 317 00:13:18,337 --> 00:13:21,861 Vodka's too clean. It's like for girls on diets 318 00:13:21,863 --> 00:13:25,170 and doctors getting drunk in hospital parking lots. 319 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,256 You seem like a gin girl. 320 00:13:27,258 --> 00:13:31,594 Yeah, comes on strong, great finish, distinct, 321 00:13:31,596 --> 00:13:33,285 not for everybody. 322 00:13:33,287 --> 00:13:34,643 Gin it is. 323 00:13:34,645 --> 00:13:35,980 Two Pimm's cups! 324 00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,168 Oh, wait, can I just get the scotch? 325 00:13:40,305 --> 00:13:42,153 ♪ I'm gonna show you ♪ 326 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,280 ♪ What a woman can do ♪ 327 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:48,284 ♪ Ooh ♪ 328 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:53,705 ♪ 'Cause I've got a fashion, let me shine it on you ♪ 329 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,563 Congrats on shutting this place down, 330 00:13:55,565 --> 00:13:58,002 but can y'all please settle up when you get a chance? 331 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,451 Mm, we just started bonding. 332 00:13:59,453 --> 00:14:01,021 I just need a little bit more time. 333 00:14:01,023 --> 00:14:03,266 Girl, I got places to be, 334 00:14:03,268 --> 00:14:04,999 and these shoes are giving me corns. 335 00:14:05,001 --> 00:14:08,306 Understood, we do not want those corns to pop. 336 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,269 - Hey, Beth! - Huh? 337 00:14:11,271 --> 00:14:12,836 What's the magic words? 338 00:14:12,838 --> 00:14:17,060 Baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baby! 339 00:14:17,062 --> 00:14:19,318 We just would like this business meeting to continue 340 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,008 for another hour 341 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:24,061 by renting this room for 5K. 342 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:25,102 One hour. 343 00:14:25,104 --> 00:14:26,780 ♪ I'm gonna give you something ♪ 344 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,491 - Hm. - ♪ That you never forget ♪ 345 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:32,912 ♪ You better take cover 'cause I'm coming for you ♪ 346 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:37,708 ♪ On a high wire, I'm a live wire ♪ 347 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,702 The hell are they, Limon? They've been gone for hours. 348 00:14:42,704 --> 00:14:44,574 They have their privacy settings on. 349 00:14:44,576 --> 00:14:45,992 I can tell you they're safe. 350 00:14:45,994 --> 00:14:48,447 Nobody's safe in this world. Are you stupid? 351 00:14:48,449 --> 00:14:50,587 Are you a stupid, stupid robot? 352 00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:53,500 Keep yelling at me, Jim. It'll make you feel better. 353 00:14:53,502 --> 00:14:55,241 I'm not yelling, Limon, 354 00:14:55,243 --> 00:14:56,889 and please don't tell me what to do, 355 00:14:56,891 --> 00:14:58,913 you stupid little piss-colored 356 00:14:58,915 --> 00:15:00,674 know-it-all piece of shit! 357 00:15:00,676 --> 00:15:02,300 I'm sorry you feel that way. 358 00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:07,222 You're a smug little smiling bastard, you know that? 359 00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:09,092 I'm sorry, Limon, I'm a little on edge. 360 00:15:09,094 --> 00:15:11,013 I'm just kinda freaking out. 361 00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:14,523 Where are they? 362 00:15:15,399 --> 00:15:17,982 You know what, Jules? 363 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:20,276 I think you're pretty cool. 364 00:15:20,278 --> 00:15:24,598 I give you permission to date my dad, yes. 365 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,790 Oh, but never tell me what to do, 366 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,332 because I do not need a mom, and I am a grown woman. 367 00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:31,033 I can make my own terrible decisions. 368 00:15:31,035 --> 00:15:32,997 Speaking of, how's film school? 369 00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:35,834 Oh, so I'm working on my first film, right, 370 00:15:35,836 --> 00:15:38,465 and it's this long form found footage essay. 371 00:15:38,467 --> 00:15:42,215 It's kind of like Adam Curtis's "HyperNormalisation" 372 00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:46,052 except I use clips from rom-coms from the early 2000s 373 00:15:46,054 --> 00:15:48,119 to show how love was sold 374 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,181 at the start of late stage capitalism. 375 00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:54,084 So it's eight hours of, like, socialism and Kate Hudson? 376 00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:57,147 That sounds awful, never show that to me. 377 00:15:57,149 --> 00:15:58,982 You sound just like my dad. 378 00:15:58,984 --> 00:16:00,608 Hey, he's honest. 379 00:16:00,610 --> 00:16:01,985 Mm-hmm. 380 00:16:01,987 --> 00:16:03,873 Yeah, I guess that's something. 381 00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:07,021 I mean, he's smothering and he's codependent, 382 00:16:07,023 --> 00:16:09,910 and he spent way more time doing my hair 383 00:16:09,912 --> 00:16:11,925 than I would ever admit to my therapist, 384 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:15,665 but he keeps it straight with me, 385 00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:17,419 even when it's hard. 386 00:16:18,503 --> 00:16:20,628 Cheers, Dad. 387 00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:23,147 Oh, and just for the record it's nine hours, 388 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,415 and just for that I'm gonna play it 389 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,301 at your goddamn rehearsal dinner. 390 00:16:26,303 --> 00:16:27,761 You need to understand. 391 00:16:27,763 --> 00:16:28,928 Hey, I know them. 392 00:16:28,930 --> 00:16:31,222 What's happening in The Disputed Lands 393 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,682 is only natural. 394 00:16:32,684 --> 00:16:35,643 The desert takes what it is owed. 395 00:16:35,645 --> 00:16:37,862 - So you know a death cult? - Uh-huh. 396 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:41,900 Every loss of life to natural disaster... 397 00:16:41,902 --> 00:16:44,861 is another offer 398 00:16:44,863 --> 00:16:46,443 of repentance. 399 00:16:46,445 --> 00:16:48,445 Hey! 400 00:16:48,447 --> 00:16:51,263 My mom died in a super typhoon, 401 00:16:51,265 --> 00:16:54,623 and you're saying she's some kind of sacrifice? 402 00:16:55,499 --> 00:16:57,793 I'm saying your mother had it coming. 403 00:16:58,668 --> 00:17:00,835 We all have it coming. 404 00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:13,642 Oh, shit. 405 00:17:15,811 --> 00:17:18,061 Gotta work on your exit strategy. 406 00:17:18,063 --> 00:17:19,562 Okay. 407 00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:22,830 God, Jules, you know, you're right. 408 00:17:22,832 --> 00:17:24,909 That felt so much better than just talking. 409 00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:25,985 Right? 410 00:17:27,966 --> 00:17:30,198 Jules, we should really 411 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,616 do this again, right? 412 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:32,826 Oh. 413 00:17:32,828 --> 00:17:36,329 You know, my mom died, too, when I was young. 414 00:17:36,331 --> 00:17:37,999 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 415 00:17:38,001 --> 00:17:40,274 I don't know if I have any memories of her, though. 416 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:41,968 And the ones that I have are so faded, 417 00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,670 I don't even know if they really happened. 418 00:17:43,672 --> 00:17:47,090 Oh, no, that's so sad for you. 419 00:17:47,092 --> 00:17:49,926 I'm so sorry 'cause, see, 420 00:17:49,928 --> 00:17:53,471 I feel like I remember my mom, 421 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:56,766 like, really well, 'cause my dad told me 422 00:17:56,768 --> 00:18:01,521 all these stories of them, in their time together. 423 00:18:01,523 --> 00:18:04,860 He says I remind him of her every day. 424 00:18:06,361 --> 00:18:09,447 I know her. I'm so sorry. 425 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:12,993 Whoa. 426 00:18:14,536 --> 00:18:16,202 Whoa. Ha ha ha. 427 00:18:16,204 --> 00:18:18,623 Mama needs to nap. 428 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,898 Hi! 429 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:30,341 Um, where the hell have you been? 430 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,385 Bonding. 431 00:18:32,387 --> 00:18:35,221 Why are you wearing fake tits? 432 00:18:35,223 --> 00:18:40,310 Oh, right, this are, it's a business expense. 433 00:18:40,312 --> 00:18:41,676 - Very baseball, baseball. - Baseball, baseball, 434 00:18:41,678 --> 00:18:43,284 - baseball, baseball. - Baseball, baseball. 435 00:18:43,286 --> 00:18:46,268 It's just... you heard us say baseball, so that's... 436 00:18:46,270 --> 00:18:48,502 It's... 437 00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:50,443 Oh, wow. 438 00:18:50,445 --> 00:18:51,821 Oh, that's... 439 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,202 Mission accomplished. 440 00:18:57,425 --> 00:19:00,615 Did you get a chance to... clean the Lucy juice 441 00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,242 off the sheets? 442 00:19:02,244 --> 00:19:04,494 The hell is the matter with you? 443 00:19:04,496 --> 00:19:09,416 And so we close the sign of... 444 00:19:09,418 --> 00:19:12,627 Beth, you okay? Honey? 445 00:19:13,756 --> 00:19:15,088 Honey! 446 00:19:16,498 --> 00:19:18,020 The hell did ya do to her? 447 00:19:18,022 --> 00:19:20,571 Going drink for drink with me is always a bad idea. 448 00:19:20,573 --> 00:19:22,869 You know that. 449 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:26,112 Honey, what's the big deal? 450 00:19:26,114 --> 00:19:28,729 Uh, the big deal is I'm an alcoholic, okay? 451 00:19:28,731 --> 00:19:30,241 My greatest fear in life is that, 452 00:19:30,243 --> 00:19:32,041 the awful gift that my father gave me, 453 00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:33,350 I'm gonna pass it along to her. 454 00:19:33,352 --> 00:19:35,079 I mean, I've never seen her like that before. 455 00:19:35,081 --> 00:19:37,456 - It's frickin' terrifying. - Okay. 456 00:19:37,458 --> 00:19:39,409 You asked me to take her to brunch. 457 00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:40,815 And, to me, brunch is just an excuse 458 00:19:40,817 --> 00:19:42,336 to publicly drink in the mornings. 459 00:19:42,338 --> 00:19:45,039 But I will be very careful with her and alcohol 460 00:19:45,041 --> 00:19:46,757 in the future. 461 00:19:46,759 --> 00:19:48,968 All right, okay, look, the important thing is 462 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:52,206 you're both safe and everybody's okay, I guess. 463 00:19:52,208 --> 00:19:53,989 For the record, I think the fight thing's 464 00:19:53,991 --> 00:19:56,350 gonna be really good for her. 465 00:19:56,352 --> 00:19:58,352 I'm sorr... the fight thing? What fight thing? 466 00:19:58,354 --> 00:20:01,397 She punched a cult leader in the balls. 467 00:20:01,399 --> 00:20:06,277 I was so proud of her. I get parenting now. 468 00:20:06,279 --> 00:20:08,571 Beth punched a cult leader in the balls? 469 00:20:08,573 --> 00:20:10,865 Relax, nobody got hurt. 470 00:20:10,867 --> 00:20:12,283 I had my sweet baby on me. 471 00:20:12,285 --> 00:20:14,201 You flashed a gun on a New York City street? 472 00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:16,162 Prospect Park, and I just shot one off 473 00:20:16,164 --> 00:20:17,746 in the air to escape among the scatter. 474 00:20:17,748 --> 00:20:19,206 - Okay. - You can take the girl 475 00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:20,833 - out of Morristown... - Get out, get out. 476 00:20:20,835 --> 00:20:22,174 - What? - You know my daughter 477 00:20:22,176 --> 00:20:24,032 less than 24 hours, you already got her 478 00:20:24,034 --> 00:20:26,589 into a drunken brawl that ended in gunplay. 479 00:20:26,591 --> 00:20:28,330 Can't have anybody around my family 480 00:20:28,332 --> 00:20:29,986 with this poor impulse control. 481 00:20:29,988 --> 00:20:31,768 Get outta here. 482 00:20:31,770 --> 00:20:35,544 Uh, I've got 500 boxes of tampons for Jim Brockmire. 483 00:20:35,546 --> 00:20:38,237 Ah, Jesus Christ. 484 00:20:38,239 --> 00:20:40,526 Why'd you order 500 boxes of tampons? 485 00:20:40,528 --> 00:20:42,301 And a case of Pamprins. 486 00:20:42,303 --> 00:20:43,526 In a moment of weakness, I thought 487 00:20:43,528 --> 00:20:45,234 we all might actually have a life here together, 488 00:20:45,236 --> 00:20:46,299 but I was insane. 489 00:20:46,301 --> 00:20:48,045 500 boxes? 490 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,529 I'm beating down menopause's door. 491 00:20:50,531 --> 00:20:52,156 Well, you know what, you can take 'em with ya 492 00:20:52,158 --> 00:20:55,367 as a lovely parting gift. Just get outta here, please. 493 00:20:55,369 --> 00:20:57,161 You wanna be the hero of this story? 494 00:20:57,163 --> 00:20:59,330 Well, while you're on your high horse, 495 00:20:59,332 --> 00:21:00,539 answer me this. 496 00:21:00,541 --> 00:21:01,957 How'd all your memories of Manila 497 00:21:01,959 --> 00:21:03,501 suddenly come flooding back to you? 498 00:21:03,503 --> 00:21:05,127 You told me you couldn't remember anything. 499 00:21:05,129 --> 00:21:07,755 Your goal, in those days, was to drink to forget 500 00:21:07,757 --> 00:21:09,381 as soon as you could remember to try. 501 00:21:09,383 --> 00:21:10,966 What was I supposed to say? "Sorry, Beth, 502 00:21:10,968 --> 00:21:12,066 I don't remember your mother. 503 00:21:12,068 --> 00:21:14,220 I was black out drunk the night you were conceived". 504 00:21:14,222 --> 00:21:16,138 'Cause I know, that's great parenting advice. 505 00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:20,017 Great parenting is not lying to your daughter every day. 506 00:21:20,019 --> 00:21:22,520 You don't know shit about that woman. 507 00:21:22,522 --> 00:21:24,146 So stop making up stories 508 00:21:24,148 --> 00:21:26,440 just so you can feel like you're a good dad. 509 00:21:26,442 --> 00:21:28,743 You know what, this was a really big mistake. 510 00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:30,289 Yeah, huge. 511 00:21:42,605 --> 00:21:45,605 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 37827

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.