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1
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:09,141
You cut me.
2
00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:12,144
You cut me.
You cut me to the core.
3
00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:13,645
You cut me,
you cut me,
4
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:16,515
you cut me to the core.
5
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:21,787
I need you.
6
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,355
- Thank you.
- All right, all right.
7
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,024
That's David kadowski
everybody.
8
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,392
And remember, guys,
when you get the light
9
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,160
that means you really
have to wrap it up.
10
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:32,431
We can't keep going over.
All right, we are at number 37,
11
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,333
Paul Scott.
12
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,802
- Paul Scott, another no show.
- -No!
13
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,538
Paul Scott?
All right, everyone,
give a big round of applause
14
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:43,742
for Paul Scott, yeah.
15
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:47,312
Thanks a lot.
Thank you.
16
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:53,185
So, I have this buddy.
He's a musician, pretty famous.
17
00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:56,555
We've been friends
since we were kids.
18
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,257
And a few months ago...
19
00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,792
I went on a road trip
20
00:00:59,794 --> 00:01:05,164
With a buddy.
And it was an old
friend of mine.
21
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:06,665
We'd known each other
since we were kids.
22
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:07,800
- Love you, David!
- And he's a comedian.
23
00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,334
He's a very funny guy.
24
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:12,304
Um, but, he was kind
of down on his luck,
25
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:15,441
and he asked me if I want
to open up for him
26
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:17,242
on his east coast tour.
27
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:20,212
Sounds pretty cool, right?
28
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:23,115
-No, it was a fucking--
-breakthrough.
29
00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:25,384
- Yeah, whoo!
- A breakthrough.
30
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,086
And it was two friends.
31
00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,620
You know, two artists,
really, traveling
32
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,856
through the forgotten
coastal towns of America,
33
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:33,192
trying to make connections
with people.
34
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:36,395
No press agents,
no publicity,
35
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:39,431
just a man
and his microphone.
36
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,501
Anyway, I'd like to dedicate
this song to my buddy, Paul.
37
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:45,671
And, uh, should be good.
38
00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,594
who owns
a flat screen TV here?
39
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,663
Anybody have a flat screen TV?
40
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,464
I recently got
a huge flat screen TV,
41
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,266
I went to
the department store,
42
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,535
and the guy was like
"this is a 42-inch television."
43
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,837
I was like, "really?
I don't really think
it's 42 inches."
44
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:29,341
I took out my tape measure.
It was 37 and a half inches.
45
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:30,976
I was like, "what's this?
This is 37 an a half inches."
46
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:34,546
He says. "Oh, no, no, you gotta
measure it diagonally."
47
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,415
Later on that night
i was getting frisky
48
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,483
with my lady
back at my place,
49
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:40,285
she was like, "you don't
have an eight inch penis."
50
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:42,554
I was like, "no sweetheart,
we gotta measure it diagonally."
51
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:45,424
All right, thank you,
you've been a great crowd.
52
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,758
Good night, everybody.
53
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:55,400
-Hey, Randy.
-Have a seat.
54
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,668
You got your drink tickets?
55
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,671
-I do, yeah, thanks.
-How's Emily?
56
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:00,906
Good. Good.
57
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,375
We broke up,
but I hear she's good.
58
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:06,578
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
She was very attractive.
59
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,780
Yeah, yeah, still is.
60
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,616
Still is attractive.
Still alive.
61
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,551
You guys were engaged, right?
62
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,520
-Yeah, mm-hmm.
-Sucks, man.
63
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,557
-That's why I never
date hot girls.
-Yeah.
64
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:19,891
What about tonight,
how did you feel?
65
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,960
Good, good, I think
it went pretty well.
66
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,563
The crowd seemed a little--
a little distant,
67
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,265
but I think it was good.
68
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,866
Yeah, sure.
69
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:30,736
-Why? How do you
think it went?
-Me?
70
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,537
I don't know.
I mean, I'm starting
to think
71
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:34,706
maybe the act hasn't changed
that much in a few years.
72
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,975
Maybe it's starting to feel
a little early aughts.
73
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,645
What about that whole
linkedin versus Facebook rant?
74
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,446
I mean, isn't that basically
just a reworking
75
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,948
of your MySpace bit
that you used to do?
76
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,017
Everything is reworked
from something else.
77
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:47,452
Didn't you do like
a friendster bit before
you did the MySpace thing?
78
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,854
That's my point, like,
it's just with the--
79
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,289
you're just filling in
new pieces
80
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:51,990
into a pre-existing
structure.
81
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,625
Anyway, look, I don't have
that much time up there.
82
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,027
It's all setup, punch line,
setup, punch line.
83
00:04:55,029 --> 00:04:56,828
I don't know.
Maybe it's your delivery or--
84
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,597
yeah, well, we were
talking about that,
85
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,399
doing like 30 or 35 minute
headlining set
86
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,701
and I feel I can really
kind of get into the rhythm
87
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,803
with these anecdotes,
like letting it roam.
88
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,738
Yeah, we can do that.
We can definitely do that.
89
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,373
Cool.
90
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:11,877
Or the other option
is you take some time off,
91
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:17,649
you come back when you have
15 or 20 minutes of like,
fresh material.
92
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,917
Gives you a chance
to reboot.
93
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,053
Recharge a little bit.
94
00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:23,722
Recharge.
95
00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:28,627
This kid's funny.
96
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,606
Dropped something.
97
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:52,117
-Hello?
-Hey man, what's up?
98
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,553
-Jason?
-Yeah, what's
going on, dude?
99
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:55,954
Hey, how's it going?
100
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,422
You calling me
from a new phone?
101
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,458
No, no, no,
I'm on Stacy's phone.
102
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:01,360
Sta- who's Stacy?
103
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:04,496
Stacy's a friend of mine.
She just-- she's really hot.
104
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,064
Hey, you know where
i am right now?
105
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,632
We're at the ice bar.
106
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,401
You should come down here
and get a drink.
107
00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:10,669
Dude, I can't.
I'm sorry. I'd love to.
108
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,471
When are you back in town?
109
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:15,006
I leave tomorrow morning,
so you've gotta come now, man.
110
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,476
There's three girls here,
they're super good-looking.
111
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,710
Come on.
112
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,413
Okay, one drink.
113
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,448
He has no idea.
He's lost in the music.
114
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,851
Turns out he didn't
take ecstasy,
115
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,753
he took my dad's
dick pills.
116
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,421
-I hate it when that happens.
-Right?
117
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,591
Dude, you should work that
in your act, man.
118
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,760
-You're a standup?
-Yeah, he is.
119
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,161
Paul's the funniest
guy I know.
120
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,896
Yeah? Go ahead,
tell us a joke.
121
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,732
Yeah, tell us a joke.
122
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:44,169
I usually tell--
i usually do that on stage
where-- with an audience.
123
00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:46,471
It's a context thing.
I don't tell jokes, really.
124
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:49,040
Well, I mean we hung out at this
after party with Chris rock,
125
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,942
he was amazing
with just a couple of us.
126
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,779
He was telling jokes
all night.
127
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:57,082
That's Chris rock.
When you're in that pantheon,
like Richard pryor,
128
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,817
and George carlin,
and Steve Martin,
129
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,852
-like you can do anything.
-Wait, wait, wait, wait,
130
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,421
hear me out here, all right?
131
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:05,857
What if you come
on tour with me?
132
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,560
-Oh, that's awesome.
-What? Like a groupie?
133
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,529
I mean no offense.
134
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,164
-No, not--
-we're not groupies.
135
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,800
-Seriously.
-No, I know, that's
what I'm saying.
136
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,668
-No.
-Not like a groupie,
137
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,837
-and no you guys
are not groupies.
-Definitely not.
138
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,173
No, as my opening act, man.
139
00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:23,575
What are you doing
for the next few weeks?
140
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,076
You want me to open up
for your band?
141
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,945
Oh, if you don't wanna do it,
my cousin actually knows
142
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,947
Hannibal buress.
Be perfect for you.
143
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,949
I didn't say I don't
wanna do it, I'm just saying,
144
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,685
you know, just give me
a second to think about it.
145
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:36,588
Don't think about it
for too long, you know?
146
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,957
All right, ready?
Here's to comedy
147
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,060
-before folk rock.
-Cheers.
148
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,779
Hello?
149
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,814
-Rise and shine.
-What the fuck are you doing?
150
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,716
What do you mean
what the fuck am I doing?
I'm picking you up.
151
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,618
Dude, I thought you were
bullshitting last night.
152
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,553
No way, dude, I wouldn't
bullshit about this.
153
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:11,590
Wait, hold the door!
Hold the door! I'm coming up!
154
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:14,759
Damn.
155
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,495
Okay, okay.
156
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,530
-Yo, what's up, dude?
-What's up, man? Hey.
157
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:22,501
-What a night, huh?
-Yeah.
158
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:25,570
I like what you did
with the place.
It's nice.
159
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:29,674
-Thanks, yeah, it was featured
in "dwell" magazine.
-Funny.
160
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,877
Well, our first stop's Jersey,
i wanna get on the road
161
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,778
and get going
before rush hour traffic.
162
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,847
Jason, I can't just eject
out of my life
163
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,250
-and join the fucking circus.
-Dude, you're a temp.
164
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:40,585
-Can I have a beer?
You want a beer?
-No, you go ahead.
165
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,120
I'm in a place
right now where I need
166
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,222
to focus on my writing,
i need to hunker down
167
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,924
and flesh out
some new material.
168
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,993
Well, then flesh out
some new material on the road.
169
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:51,263
You are asking me
to create an opening act
for a musical performance.
170
00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:52,998
I can't just whip it up
in an afternoon.
171
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,267
You were on conan.
Okay, I'm sure you'll be fine
172
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,202
on my solo acoustic tour.
173
00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,038
-Yeah, in a sketch
about bartman.
-Yeah.
174
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,240
Anyway, my role
was a non-speaking role.
175
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,042
Okay, it's not standup.
It's very different.
176
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,611
Well, whatever, dude,
I'm sure it'll be fine.
177
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,179
Jason, I need to get
my life in order.
178
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,848
I need to climb out of debt.
I need to find a mattress
179
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,149
that doesn't have
a slow leak in it.
180
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,884
What the fuck else
are you gonna do?
181
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,954
What, are you going
to go back to advertising?
182
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,790
No.
No fucking way, dude.
183
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,059
What? What? My former boss,
he started this new agency.
184
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,761
He's making six figures.
185
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,964
Has equity in stock backend
options or something,
186
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,766
he said he'd give me
an interview in the next
few weeks.
187
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,301
Dude, how many times have
we fucking talked about this?
188
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:33,305
A career in music?
A career in comedy?
189
00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:35,740
That, my friend,
is a lifetime commitment.
190
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,709
And you wanna look back
in four years and realize
191
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,344
that you gave up
because a girl dumped you,
192
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,846
and then fucking money
was tight?
193
00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:50,221
Hey, man, is there any chance
we can swing by my old place?
194
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,923
I'd love to grab
my rolling bag.
195
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,627
What? You still
have stuff at Emily's?
196
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,095
A few little things, yeah.
197
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:01,967
Thank you.
198
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:04,102
You still have
a lot of stuff here.
199
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,304
Yeah. I'm still getting
settled in my new place, babe,
200
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,939
-sorry.
-You know,
it's no big deal,
201
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,175
but, can you not keep
calling me "babe"?
202
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:12,043
Sorry, force of habit.
203
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,012
Oh, I got a call
from the wedding planner.
204
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:16,781
The hotel's gonna give us back
50% of our deposit.
205
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,085
Ooh, 50%,
how generous of them.
206
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:23,655
You really thought
we were ready to get married?
207
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,391
-I thought I was, yeah.
-You really think that?
208
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:27,993
You were out at clubs
every night.
209
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,227
You know, you were gone
on the weekend.
210
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,363
I rarely book weekend gigs.
211
00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:33,632
-Very rarely.
-Okay, just, all right.
212
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:37,736
Anyway, whatever.
I'm sure you'll be
very happy here with...
213
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:38,937
-Rob?
-Ron.
214
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,139
Ron, the dj.
215
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,675
Grandmaster Ron, right?
The Yankees fan.
216
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,176
He's not a Yankees fan.
217
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,345
-Okay, he just likes the hat.
-That's even worse.
218
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,914
What about your vintage
Milwaukee brewers jacket?
219
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,851
In Boston, no one gives a shit
about the Milwaukee brewers.
220
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,153
They're in different leagues.
It's not a competition.
221
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,955
That's what makes it ironic.
What's his dj name anyway?
222
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,990
-He doesn't have a dj name.
-Too cool for a dj name.
223
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,692
-No.
-He's above that.
224
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,894
-Dj no name.
-Look, he is a nice guy,
all right?
225
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,663
He's happy.
He's not tortured.
226
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:07,432
He doesn't get angry at me
if I order pour over coffee.
227
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,200
That one barista
was a prick.
228
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,835
-Okay, look--
-with his little spout.
229
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,971
Okay, look, I want to be
with somebody who doesn't
230
00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:17,742
feel the need
to categorize every known flaw
in the material world.
231
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,745
I'm an observational comic,
babe. Emily.
232
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,213
-Okay?
It's what I do.
-Is it?
233
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,948
-Yes.
-Is it? Because
the comedy clubs
234
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,685
don't seem to appreciate
how funny you are.
235
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:29,020
They barely pay you.
You know, in advertising,
236
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,222
people knew
how talented you were.
237
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,024
They did.
They gave you awards.
238
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,259
I mean, they still ask
about you
239
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,960
down at the agency
all the time.
240
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,929
Well, you can tell them
I'm still paying my dues.
241
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:44,002
Hey man.
How did it go?
242
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,304
Good.
Really good.
243
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,872
Good, that's good.
244
00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:52,043
Good.
245
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,446
What she wanted was stability.
That's what she wanted.
246
00:11:54,448 --> 00:11:55,980
She wanted stability.
247
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,316
She wanted comfort.
She wanted reliability.
248
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,719
She wanted
a sturdy foundation
to build a future on.
249
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:03,221
And I get it.
That's what I wanted, too.
I can't blame her for that.
250
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:04,823
Yeah. Let me ask you
a question.
251
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,191
Where do you think
that comes from?
252
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,359
Certainly doesn't come
from being with somebody
253
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:10,995
who doesn't believe in you,
and I believe in you.
254
00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:12,430
And you used to believe
in yourself
255
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,833
and that's why we're going
on this tour.
256
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,868
That's why we're
gonna go to Philly,
we're gonna go to D.C.,
257
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,369
we're gonna go all the way
down to Georgia, man.
258
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,771
And it's gonna be great.
259
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:21,106
We're gonna get
your mojo back.
260
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,340
-Mojo?
-Yeah!
261
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:24,209
I'm not looking
to date anyone, Jason.
262
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,310
Who said about
dating anybody?
263
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,478
This is the road, okay?
264
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,079
Commitments run light.
265
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,414
Shit, get this man a beer.
266
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:30,982
Get him a beer.
Here we go!
267
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,084
Yeah, beer him up.
268
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,486
Guys! To the tour, right?
269
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:35,920
-To the tour!
-To the tour!
270
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,823
-To the tour!
-To the tour! Yeah!
271
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:41,926
Here we go!
272
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,461
We're at the city center.
273
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,864
-Well, we're here.
-All right, chug that.
274
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,432
All right, we're here.
We gotta go.
275
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,438
Oh, where?
We're playing here tonight?
276
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,006
No, no, no.
In a few months
we will be though.
277
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,374
Great tour, guys.
Way to go.
278
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,443
-Should I get my bag?
-Yeah, get your bag.
279
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,046
Drive safe, guys.
280
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,790
-Oh.
-Oh, is that your car
from college?
281
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:17,095
Yeah. I fixed it up.
Put a little money into it.
282
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,030
Well, what's it doing here?
283
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,332
You kinda need a car
for a road trip.
284
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,501
-Right?
-We're not going
on the bus?
285
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:24,836
What? No.
286
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,070
-The bus?
-Yeah.
287
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:28,973
The bus is like
25 grand a week, man.
288
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,510
I'm doing good,
but not that good.
289
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,212
No, man,
it's just us,
290
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,347
the road,
291
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,249
and the Swedish pick-up.
292
00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:56,100
Okay, let's hear it,
let's hear your list.
293
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:59,103
Okay, well, mine is like,
you got six, Paul Simon.
294
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:00,839
Okay.
295
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,607
-Five, Neil young.
-Okay.
296
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,976
-We got four, cat Stevens.
-Cat Stevens?
297
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,344
-What do you mean
cat Stevens?
-Fumble.
298
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,612
-What do you
mean, "fumble"?
-Fumble.
299
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,180
-What do you mean?
-That's a fumble.
300
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,582
It's my list. I can have
cat Stevens if I want.
301
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:12,083
Fumble recovered
by the defense.
302
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,351
I respected your list.
Respect my list.
303
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,853
-Okay.
-Okay?
304
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:18,156
Four, cat Stevens.
Three, tom petty.
305
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:22,093
-And Bruce obviously
is only second to--
-Dylan.
306
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,095
-Bob Dylan.
-Okay, and what
about John Lennon?
307
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,564
No room for John Lennon?
One of the greatest artists
of all time?
308
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,399
This is a tough one,
but John Lennon,
309
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:30,301
he's a beatle,
and we're doing
solo artists.
310
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,003
Well, he was a solo artist
for a while.
311
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,471
But, okay,
what if the Beatles
312
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,541
were called John Lennon
and the Beatles? Then what?
313
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,611
Well, then, he'd be leaving
what, like the top spot in bands
314
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:42,213
to be number three
in solo artists?
315
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,082
I don't know
if he'd want to do that.
316
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:47,051
By the way, Bruce Springsteen
is part of the e street band.
317
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,121
-That's true.
-Not to make a technicality,
but, you know?
318
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,990
-That's a problem.
-All right.
319
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,658
Well, with Bruce,
it's Bruce, man.
320
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:56,094
Okay, so the rules
don't apply to Bruce.
321
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,528
Rules don't apply to Bruce.
322
00:14:57,530 --> 00:14:59,030
My daddy used
to take me down
323
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,466
to the old abandoned
Cadillac factory.
324
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:04,535
Hold on!
Why did your daddy
take you down
325
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,237
to the old abandoned
Cadillac factory?
326
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,140
Oh, it's because my dad
liked to be unemployed.
327
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,943
We'd have all day to just throw
the old baseball around.
328
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,611
I used to know
this folk singer.
329
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:15,313
-Who?
-Yeah.
330
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,649
-Yeah.
-He was tall,
looked like Tarzan,
331
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:20,485
but he had a big beard.
Didn't smell so good.
332
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,120
I said,
"i know this funny guy."
333
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:23,521
And I said "you two should
go on the road together.
334
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,623
Put that funny guy
on the road with you.
335
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,493
Send him to all those
abandoned college bars,
336
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:31,229
and broken down
little music venues.
337
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,131
This one's called
'folk hero and funny guy.'"
338
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,199
one, two, three, four.
339
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,677
How about outback?
Outback's good?
340
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:47,178
I don't wanna eat
at a chain.
341
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,546
Dude, I'm starving.
Come on.
342
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,348
Believe me,
I'm starving, too.
343
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,550
Okay, I'm hungry.
I'm just as hungry
as you are,
344
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,552
but we just gotta get off
this fucking highway.
345
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,490
okay, this is what
we need right here.
346
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,659
Hi, how's it going?
Two please.
347
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,661
-Drinks on the back.
-Great, thank you so much.
348
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,596
- And you can sit wherever.
-Thank you so much.
349
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:09,367
I am going to devour
every meat-based item
on this menu.
350
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,002
I bet you they got
homemade pie here.
351
00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,303
I'm gonna get you guys
some water,
352
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,572
-I'll be right back.
-Wait! One second.
353
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:17,208
-Wait, actually, I've got
a couple questions about beer.
-Yeah, sure. Mm-hmm?
354
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,610
I was looking for an ipa.
Do you guys have any kind
355
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,646
of like non-piney,
or too hoppy--
356
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,082
-can I get a vodka soda?
-We have cocktails on the back.
357
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,684
-You don't wanna
try something fancy?
-No, just like a well vodka.
358
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,686
Do you guys have
those flights of beers?
You know what I mean?
359
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,521
Like they have four
different kinds?
360
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,523
No. I know what
you're talking about.
361
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,258
We don't have one
of those. Sorry.
362
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,728
Oh, okay. I'm gonna do
the brimmer lager.
363
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:38,596
That sounds good.
Yeah. Great. Thank you.
364
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:42,100
Uh, I have to tell you,
i saw you play
365
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,534
at garden state arts center
last year.
366
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,303
Oh, cool.
That was a good show.
367
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,205
And then I saw you the year
before at beacon theater.
368
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,240
-Cool.
-Yeah, I'm also--
can I get a bowl of chili?
369
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,309
And then this goes way back,
but when you opened
370
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,644
for mumford and sons
at the poconos raceway,
371
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,047
oh, my god, a real fan.
372
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,316
-Well, no, I just
like music, you know?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
373
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,450
I'm not just a waitress.
374
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,685
-I blog.
-Oh, really?
375
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,120
-Yeah.
-That's cool.
376
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,088
Oh, we have an open mic
night tonight.
377
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:06,357
-You have to play.
-An open mic night.
378
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,459
I know, it's perfect.
379
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,361
No, no, no,
it would be epic.
It would be--
380
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,130
yeah?
It would mean
so much to us.
381
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,232
I just don't really do
any open mics anymore.
382
00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,567
I know, but it--
this is a cool space,
383
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:19,103
like the crowd's awesome.
It would mean a lot to us.
384
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,538
It would be really cool.
385
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,340
I'll tell you what,
why don't you get this guy
386
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,175
to get up on stage
and do some stand up
387
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:26,411
-and then maybe
I'll get up and do a set.
-Comedy?
388
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:27,512
-Yeah.
-Great.
389
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,714
If-- you really
wanna do a set?
390
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,383
-Let's do a set.
-Sure, yeah, I'll do
a quick set, yeah.
391
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,218
Yeah, I'll go sign
you guys up. Perfect.
392
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,087
Oh, oh, wait, one second.
We're actually really hungry.
393
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,455
I'm gonna get
the Philly cheesesteak,
394
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,657
the wings,
and the curly fries.
395
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,260
I'm gonna stop you there.
Our kitchen's been closed
since 9:00.
396
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,761
-What?
-Sorry.
397
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,597
-Really, and there's--
-did no one tell you?
398
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:48,166
Who's supposed to tell me
besides you?
399
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,734
We have some chips.
400
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,702
And we have jalapeno,
buffalo blue cheese,
401
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,604
-salt and vinegar.
-Oh, they're homemade?
402
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,440
-No.
-Oh.
403
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,375
Or, oh! There's half
a hamburger in the back,
404
00:17:57,377 --> 00:18:00,178
um, busboy cleared it off
the table, nobody touched it.
405
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,446
It's not gross.
I do it all the time.
406
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,713
I'm just gonna
stick with the chips.
407
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,482
Just a bag of
jalapeno chips, please.
408
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:07,418
And I'll do the--
I'll do the salt and vinegar.
409
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,620
-Cool.
-Great, thank you.
410
00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:14,525
Tell me you didn't like that.
411
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,328
Come on.
412
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,453
-she's pretty good, huh?
-She's really good.
413
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,888
-Really good.
-Yeah.
414
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,329
she's definitely
got her own thing,
that's for sure.
415
00:18:52,331 --> 00:18:54,265
What does that mean
exactly?
416
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,766
-What?
-Thing?
417
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,201
She's got her own thing.
418
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:59,403
You know, like musicians
have a thing.
419
00:18:59,405 --> 00:19:04,542
You know,
and some do
and some don't.
420
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:08,713
-What's her thing?
-Well, I'm the good times
of Wilco mixed with
421
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:11,382
the authenticity
of Bob Dylan.
422
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,251
- Rolling stone, 2008.
- Right, yeah.
423
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,674
what's my thing?
424
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,310
-What's your thing?
-Yeah, what's my thing?
425
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:43,414
You mean your thing now
or like your thing
in the future?
426
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,818
You're saying I haven't
fully fulfilled my thing?
427
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,754
I think we're finding
that thing.
428
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,390
That's the reason
that we're on this tour.
429
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:57,295
All right, Brian.
Give it up for Brian,
everybody.
430
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,964
-That was--
-it's Bryn, actually,
I'm a woman. Thank you.
431
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,366
I'm sorry. That was really--
it was beautiful though.
432
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:05,736
Okay, so I noticed some of you
taking photos and videos.
433
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,739
If you guys could please not
upload that to social media
434
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,876
without hashtagging it
"jbd open mic,"
435
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,811
that really helps us out.
Thank you very much.
436
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:17,348
And yes, up next,
we have a hilarious comedian
437
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,649
who's currently
touring the country,
438
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,952
opening for Jason black,
Paul Scott.
439
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:31,996
Thank you very much.
440
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:33,564
Oh!
441
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,533
It's a dildo,
ladies and gentlemen.
442
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,802
That was very sweet of you.
443
00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:39,870
Actually never--
you know what it feels like?
444
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,641
It feels like one of those
stress balls, you know?
445
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:46,310
I should feel a lot less
stressful just squeezing it.
446
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:48,613
This is nice.
This is relaxing me.
447
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:49,947
I'm gonna put
the device down here.
448
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,782
Who's the bride to be here
at this table?
449
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,351
You are?
What's your name?
450
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:54,685
-Elizabeth.
-Elizabeth?
451
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:55,886
Congratulations.
452
00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:59,523
Your husband's
a very lucky man.
453
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,259
You know what
a telltale sign is
454
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,560
that your friends
are getting married
455
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,929
is when they ask
for your mailing address.
456
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,531
'Cause in today's day and age,
there's absolutely no reason
457
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:08,966
to get someone's physical
mailing address
458
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,001
unless you're
getting married.
459
00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:11,535
There's nothing subtle,
460
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:12,670
there's nothing
discreet about it.
461
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,472
It's like tinder
and Facebook.
462
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:17,008
You know how you have to be
on Facebook to join tinder,
463
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:20,478
only in all
the photos on tinder
are your Facebook photos?
464
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,446
So when all
of my guy friends
started incorporating
465
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,881
all these photos
of themselves,
466
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:26,450
all suave and cool,
onto Facebook,
467
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,753
I was like "that motherfucker's
joining tinder.
468
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,421
Just got out
of a relationship.
He's lonely.
469
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:31,989
This guy's
getting his dick wet."
470
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,324
Nothing subtle.
471
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,059
Nothing discreet about it.
472
00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:39,463
You guys do evites here?
473
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,465
Any people do evites?
474
00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:43,734
No?
475
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,870
Hey, for me, evites,
i think it would be
476
00:21:45,872 --> 00:21:47,338
a very convenient
and easy way
477
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,507
to invite my friends
to a party.
478
00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:51,609
But, in fact,
it's a very public
479
00:21:51,611 --> 00:21:53,978
and very humiliating forum
for my friends to tell me
480
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,914
why they won't
be joining me.
481
00:21:56,916 --> 00:21:59,317
I have this one friend
who replied,
482
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:01,652
"sorry, fly-fishing
in Belize."
483
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:04,822
Who country drops on evite?
484
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:07,325
That's just so tacky.
485
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:08,759
Right?
486
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:12,630
I have this other friend
who said, "no plus one."
487
00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:16,500
So even people I don't know
aren't coming to my party.
488
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:41,392
You were really
good up there tonight.
489
00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:43,094
Oh, thank you.
490
00:22:43,096 --> 00:22:45,496
-Yeah, really good.
-That's very nice of you.
491
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:47,732
-Thanks.
-It was a good set.
492
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:51,635
You're very funny.
You reminded me of like
a young Woody Allen, kind of.
493
00:22:51,637 --> 00:22:54,071
-Oh, that's nice
of you to say.
-Yeah, funny.
494
00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:56,707
Yeah, it's kind of--
i don't know,
495
00:22:56,709 --> 00:23:00,811
I felt it's kind of weird
to do comedy after music.
496
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:03,981
It's like the audience
is in a different head space
or something.
497
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:07,385
Yeah, and we don't get that,
we don't get comedy here much.
498
00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:08,619
Oh really, have you
done this a bunch?
499
00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:09,887
-A few times, yeah.
-This open mic?
500
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,155
A few times, yeah.
Yeah, it's fun.
501
00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:14,392
I suppose. Good.
It's a nice crowd.
502
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:15,960
Yeah. I'm Paul,
by the way.
503
00:23:15,962 --> 00:23:17,561
Hey.
504
00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:18,929
-Bryn.
-Nice to meet you.
505
00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:20,664
-Very nice to meet you.
-Yeah.
506
00:23:20,666 --> 00:23:22,500
So what brings you
out here to Jersey?
507
00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:24,802
-Um, I live here now.
-Oh, wow.
508
00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:26,637
-Yeah.
-Cool.
509
00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:28,873
-Did you grow up here or--?
-No, I grew up in Maryland--
510
00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:31,742
-in Maryland?
-Yeah, I've been here
for a few months.
511
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:35,446
Uh, yeah, I kinda wanted
to live in Manhattan,
512
00:23:35,448 --> 00:23:38,182
near Brooklyn,
but kinda expensive.
513
00:23:38,184 --> 00:23:39,583
-Too expensive?
-Yeah.
514
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:40,885
I know, it's insane
over there.
515
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,653
-Yeah, it's crazy.
-I know, it's nuts.
516
00:23:42,655 --> 00:23:44,455
It's not fair.
Unless you're a banker
and then--
517
00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:46,123
-unless you're a banker
-and they're fucking shit.
518
00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:47,958
-Do you know
a lot of bankers?
-No.
519
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,693
How do you know?
From what you've read?
520
00:23:49,695 --> 00:23:51,796
Yeah. It's my image
of New York.
521
00:23:51,798 --> 00:23:54,031
Anyway, I'm gonna go back in.
It was nice chatting with you.
522
00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:55,800
Nice chatting with you, too.
523
00:23:55,802 --> 00:24:00,171
Do-- hey-- do--
can I buy you a drink inside?
524
00:24:00,173 --> 00:24:02,006
-Uh, yeah.
-Yeah?
525
00:24:02,008 --> 00:24:04,575
-Yeah.
-All right. All right,
yeah, good.
526
00:24:04,577 --> 00:24:07,044
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome, Jason black.
527
00:25:13,879 --> 00:25:15,779
how long have you guys
known each other?
528
00:25:15,781 --> 00:25:17,281
We've known each other
since we were kids.
529
00:25:17,283 --> 00:25:19,550
-That's so cute.
-We've stayed friends.
530
00:25:19,552 --> 00:25:21,519
-We're still really close.
-Do you always tour together?
531
00:25:21,521 --> 00:25:23,888
No, no, no, no, no.
This is our first.
532
00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,257
- That's very brave.
- Jason black, everybody.
533
00:25:26,259 --> 00:25:28,058
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
534
00:25:28,060 --> 00:25:30,561
Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming.
535
00:25:30,563 --> 00:25:32,062
Feel free to come back
every week
536
00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:34,298
if you ever wanna
try anything out
or anything.
537
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:36,867
I have to admit,
I'm a little bit of
a Jason black fan.
538
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:39,303
Sure, yeah.
Good looking,
539
00:25:39,305 --> 00:25:41,906
charming, barefoot.
What's not to like?
540
00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:43,841
Exactly, that's what--
it's the bare feet.
541
00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:45,609
-That's why they're all here.
-That's why I like him.
542
00:25:45,611 --> 00:25:46,877
-They're all here.
Foot fetishists.
-Yeah, no.
543
00:25:46,879 --> 00:25:49,046
None of them
really like his music.
544
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:53,617
What about you?
What are your aspirations?
545
00:25:53,619 --> 00:25:55,986
-My aspirations?
-Yeah.
546
00:25:55,988 --> 00:25:58,188
Right now I'm just kind of like
focusing on the music thing.
547
00:25:58,190 --> 00:25:59,590
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
548
00:25:59,592 --> 00:26:01,292
So what about you,
Mr. comedian?
549
00:26:01,294 --> 00:26:03,227
What are your
big aspirations?
550
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,563
I just wanna be
one of the greats.
551
00:26:05,565 --> 00:26:07,598
I wanna be really,
really good at this.
552
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,733
Well, I think those
are two different things.
553
00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:11,735
-Like?
-Being great and good?
554
00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:13,704
Yeah. What if you
can only be good?
555
00:26:13,706 --> 00:26:16,640
Like I feel like I gave up
a whole career path to do this.
556
00:26:16,642 --> 00:26:19,643
So, I guess my real aspiration
is to see it through,
557
00:26:19,645 --> 00:26:20,678
see if I can really
pull it off.
558
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,046
Very noble.
559
00:26:22,048 --> 00:26:24,214
To pursuing your dreams
and being very poor.
560
00:26:24,216 --> 00:26:26,150
-But happy.
-But happy.
561
00:26:26,152 --> 00:26:28,118
Just chug this,
you'll be happy.
562
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:30,321
Hey, how's it going?
563
00:26:30,323 --> 00:26:32,056
Jason, this is Bryn.
Bryn, this is Jason.
564
00:26:32,058 --> 00:26:33,591
-It's so nice to meet you.
-It's so nice to meet you.
565
00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:34,925
This bachelorette party
just bought me a pitcher
566
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,293
of fat tire,
isn't that awesome?
567
00:26:36,295 --> 00:26:38,362
-God, you have a killer voice.
-Thank you.
568
00:26:38,364 --> 00:26:39,997
-I mean, really, really great.
-That's really nice.
569
00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:42,066
Yeah, hey,
and you were great.
570
00:26:42,068 --> 00:26:43,968
I don't know
if you could see it,
the lights were blinding you
571
00:26:43,970 --> 00:26:45,603
in the face, whatever,
but there were a lot of people
572
00:26:45,605 --> 00:26:47,705
laughing, dude, okay?
573
00:26:47,707 --> 00:26:49,306
-I don't know if they
were expecting comedy.
-It was a weird room.
574
00:26:49,308 --> 00:26:51,775
-It actually was freaky.
-Yeah, this room wasn't--
575
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:53,644
-it's not made for comedy.
-Yeah, you were great.
576
00:26:53,646 --> 00:26:57,047
-I think so.
-But you know I have you
listed on my website
577
00:26:57,049 --> 00:26:59,883
as a comedian, so my fans
are going to be expecting comedy
578
00:26:59,885 --> 00:27:02,953
-every time i--
-the new fans.
579
00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:06,790
-It sounds so lame.
-No, no, I'm actually
a fan of your music.
580
00:27:06,792 --> 00:27:08,058
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
581
00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:10,127
-You know my music?
-I do know, yes.
582
00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:11,895
Wow, that is so nice of you.
How long have you been
writing music?
583
00:27:11,897 --> 00:27:14,098
I've actually been writing
for like a couple of months.
584
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:15,332
-Really?
-Yeah.
585
00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:16,967
-You'd never know.
-Thank you.
586
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:19,036
-You are so comfortable
up there.
-Thanks.
587
00:27:19,038 --> 00:27:21,338
-Yeah, really beautiful.
-Yeah, I'm-- i--
588
00:27:21,340 --> 00:27:23,674
-it's crazy to meet you.
-I know, it's crazy.
589
00:27:23,676 --> 00:27:24,942
This is awesome.
590
00:27:30,416 --> 00:27:32,983
it's his real tail
on the back of a wheelchair.
591
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:34,218
Looks like it's bleached.
592
00:27:34,220 --> 00:27:35,953
You guys want another round?
593
00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:39,089
-I can't. I'm done.
-What? No.
594
00:27:39,091 --> 00:27:40,324
Yeah, I'm pretty spent, too.
595
00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:41,892
-Really?
-Yeah.
596
00:27:41,894 --> 00:27:43,927
It's the first night
of the tour. Come on!
597
00:27:43,929 --> 00:27:45,963
Yeah, I have a feeling
there's gonna be more
nights like this.
598
00:27:45,965 --> 00:27:49,166
All right, whatever.
Well, I got my fans
to hang out with.
599
00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:51,101
I'm gonna walk
back to the hotel.
I'll meet you there?
600
00:27:51,103 --> 00:27:52,736
-Yeah.
-Where you staying?
601
00:27:52,738 --> 00:27:55,139
The fernwood.
Oh, that's right
near where I am.
602
00:27:55,141 --> 00:27:56,707
-I can drop you off.
-Oh, yeah?
603
00:27:56,709 --> 00:27:58,142
-That would be great.
-Can I finish this?
604
00:27:58,144 --> 00:27:59,910
-Yeah, go for it.
-It was so nice to meet you.
605
00:27:59,912 --> 00:28:01,278
-I'll see you in a bit.
-Okay, nice meeting you, too.
606
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,680
-It was a really fun night.
-You're great.
607
00:28:02,682 --> 00:28:04,014
You're great.
608
00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:07,151
Hey! You can't touch
the ball with your hand.
609
00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:09,186
- It was so loud, like in the treble?
-I know.
610
00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:10,821
I think that's why I have
that ringing in my ears.
611
00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:13,924
You were like right inside
of the speaker, as well.
612
00:28:13,926 --> 00:28:15,693
-Bryn!
-Oh, hey!
613
00:28:15,695 --> 00:28:18,062
Hey, are you leaving
or are you--
614
00:28:18,064 --> 00:28:19,930
-oh! Are you?
-I'm up. Yeah, I'm up next.
615
00:28:19,932 --> 00:28:21,398
Oh, shit, yes.
I'm not gonna leave.
616
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,400
-I'm gonna stay.
-Yeah, okay, awesome.
617
00:28:23,402 --> 00:28:26,236
-Stella, Paul.
-Hi. Nice to meet you.
618
00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:28,205
She's like
the next Regina spektor.
619
00:28:28,207 --> 00:28:29,206
-She's so amazing.
-Oh, really? I love
Regina spektor.
620
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:32,042
Okay, bye.
621
00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:34,044
-She watches my cat.
-Oh, really?
622
00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:37,147
So I feel sort of--
she's great, but, yeah.
623
00:28:39,317 --> 00:28:40,951
So I'm gonna--
624
00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:45,355
yeah, I'm gonna--
and walk back to the hotel.
625
00:28:45,357 --> 00:28:48,058
-Okay.
-Yeah.
626
00:28:48,060 --> 00:28:49,993
-Okay, I'm just gonna--
-yeah, totally.
627
00:28:49,995 --> 00:28:51,295
-Okay.
-All right.
628
00:28:51,297 --> 00:28:52,863
-I'll see you later.
-Thank you, Paul.
629
00:28:52,865 --> 00:28:54,231
-It was so nice
to meet you.
-You, too.
630
00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:55,499
-Bye.
-Bye.
631
00:28:55,501 --> 00:28:57,735
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
632
00:28:58,770 --> 00:29:00,270
Thank you?
633
00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:15,452
I know how to open--
634
00:29:15,454 --> 00:29:18,422
a door. Okay,
I'm fine. I'm fine.
635
00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:21,792
-I'm fine now.
-Close the door.
636
00:29:21,794 --> 00:29:25,362
Paul, hey, I got good news.
637
00:29:25,364 --> 00:29:26,897
I got us a late checkout.
638
00:29:26,899 --> 00:29:29,266
That's amazing.
Now close the fucking door!
639
00:29:29,268 --> 00:29:31,368
So we're leaving at noon.
640
00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:34,905
Hey, Paul.
641
00:29:34,907 --> 00:29:36,840
I'm really excited.
642
00:29:36,842 --> 00:29:38,976
I think you're
in the wrong bed.
643
00:29:50,555 --> 00:29:51,789
Hello?
644
00:29:51,791 --> 00:29:53,457
Oh, hi, how you doing?
645
00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:55,559
I'm doing well,
thanks, yeah.
646
00:29:55,561 --> 00:29:57,094
No, no, this is perfect.
647
00:29:57,096 --> 00:29:58,195
Yeah, I'm right between
two meetings.
648
00:29:58,197 --> 00:29:59,830
This is a great time.
649
00:29:59,832 --> 00:30:02,800
Uh-huh.
Well, no, cyle,
cyle with a c,
650
00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:05,803
he's my old partner.
Yeah, no, he's a great guy.
651
00:30:05,805 --> 00:30:07,838
-Dude, shut
the fuck up, dude.
-Yes.
652
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:09,439
-Come on!
-Could you just hold on
for one quick sec?
653
00:30:09,441 --> 00:30:12,543
-Shut up.
-One of my designers
has a question.
654
00:30:12,545 --> 00:30:14,077
Yeah, Jack?
655
00:30:14,079 --> 00:30:17,114
No, these designs look great.
Thank you.
656
00:30:17,116 --> 00:30:18,882
-Thank you.
-What are you doing?
657
00:30:18,884 --> 00:30:21,318
Hi, yes, sorry.
It's been a little bit
nutty this week.
658
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,054
Well, no, so, cyle said
that you guys are thinking
659
00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:26,223
about maybe bringing
on a new writer?
660
00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:27,591
Really?
661
00:30:27,593 --> 00:30:29,226
-Okay.
-No, way.
662
00:30:29,228 --> 00:30:30,828
- Hold on one second.
- Really?
663
00:30:30,830 --> 00:30:32,462
- Jack, those look great.
- Okay.
664
00:30:32,464 --> 00:30:34,932
- That's all i need from you.
- -Yup.
665
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,268
Where you going?
666
00:30:38,270 --> 00:30:39,937
Paul, where--
667
00:30:39,939 --> 00:30:42,272
you left the--
you can't leave
the car running.
668
00:30:42,274 --> 00:30:45,943
What are you doing?
What are we doing here, man?
669
00:30:45,945 --> 00:30:47,077
Achievements?
Specifically comedic.
670
00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:48,378
-Hey Paul!
-Plot endeavors.
671
00:30:48,380 --> 00:30:50,347
-Yes, right.
-Are you running from me?
672
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:53,951
-Right, well, i--
-okay, you're gonna run
from me? All right.
673
00:30:53,953 --> 00:30:56,353
Yes.
674
00:30:56,355 --> 00:30:57,988
You see what you just
gonna make me do?
675
00:30:57,990 --> 00:30:59,890
You almost
just killed me.
676
00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:02,159
I think you're thinking
of the Simpson's character.
677
00:31:02,161 --> 00:31:05,162
Yeah, no, this is the guy
who caught the foul ball.
678
00:31:05,164 --> 00:31:06,997
I can hammer time.
679
00:31:06,999 --> 00:31:08,498
I actually don't know
where he is right now.
680
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:10,033
-That's a very good question.
-I can hammer time.
681
00:31:13,239 --> 00:31:15,038
But, for me, it's all about
what is the right medium
682
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,040
for the message?
683
00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:18,542
So, theoretically,
you don't hire him,
684
00:31:18,544 --> 00:31:20,344
you should give me
the position,
685
00:31:20,346 --> 00:31:23,146
I can be available anytime.
Thank you so much. Bye-bye.
686
00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:30,187
Dude, either commit
to this tour or get off, okay?
687
00:31:30,189 --> 00:31:31,655
-Commit to the tour?
-Yeah.
688
00:31:31,657 --> 00:31:33,590
I'm keeping options open.
What's wrong with that?
689
00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:37,294
No! Don't fucking
b-plan, dude!
690
00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:40,030
Hey, you could tend bar,
wait tables,
691
00:31:40,032 --> 00:31:41,965
do anything but fucking
go back into advertising.
692
00:31:41,967 --> 00:31:43,600
It'll suck you back in,
then, whoosh,
693
00:31:43,602 --> 00:31:46,637
you'll be a drone
in sector d.
694
00:31:46,639 --> 00:31:48,906
I'm here, right?
I'm on the tour.
695
00:31:48,908 --> 00:31:51,341
I'm on the glamorous
Jason black world tour.
696
00:31:51,343 --> 00:31:53,043
Yeah, which is why
I'm pissed.
697
00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:07,658
-Hey.
-Hey.
698
00:32:07,660 --> 00:32:09,092
-Hi.
-Hey.
699
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:10,961
I'm so relieved.
700
00:32:10,963 --> 00:32:12,162
-Hey!
-Oh, hi.
701
00:32:12,164 --> 00:32:14,097
-How's it going?
-Great, good to see you.
702
00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:15,999
-Good to see you.
-I was definitely scared
for a second
703
00:32:16,001 --> 00:32:17,534
that I made this
whole thing up in my head.
704
00:32:17,536 --> 00:32:20,070
Well, no, no, sorry,
we just got a late start.
705
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:22,172
And then Paul had this really
important job interview
706
00:32:22,174 --> 00:32:23,707
that we had--
you know, but it went great.
707
00:32:23,709 --> 00:32:25,575
Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah, I just--
708
00:32:25,577 --> 00:32:27,344
-hey, are you ready to
open up for us tonight?
-Yes!
709
00:32:27,346 --> 00:32:30,180
I'm dorkily very excited.
710
00:32:30,182 --> 00:32:31,581
You're opening up for us?
That's awesome!
711
00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:32,683
That's such a brilliant idea.
712
00:32:32,685 --> 00:32:34,217
You mean, you didn't know?
713
00:32:34,219 --> 00:32:35,652
You didn't tell him.
714
00:32:35,654 --> 00:32:37,187
You see Bryn
play last night?
You know Bryn.
715
00:32:37,189 --> 00:32:39,056
Yeah, of course.
She's amazing.
716
00:32:39,058 --> 00:32:41,091
Yeah, that's such a--
that's brilliant.
717
00:32:41,093 --> 00:32:42,292
- Yeah, great.
-Of course, it makes total sense.
718
00:32:42,294 --> 00:32:44,261
Why didn't I think of that?
719
00:32:44,263 --> 00:32:47,564
I thought that you could open up
and that you could middle,
720
00:32:47,566 --> 00:32:49,533
and obviously
I'll shorten my set,
721
00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:51,301
-give you guys
plenty of stage time.
-Perfect. That's great.
722
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,704
Is it weird? Is it weird
for there to be a standup act
723
00:32:53,706 --> 00:32:55,372
in between two musical acts?
724
00:32:55,374 --> 00:32:57,140
Uh... I don't think so.
725
00:32:57,142 --> 00:32:59,409
Great. Welcome aboard.
That's awesome.
726
00:32:59,411 --> 00:33:01,678
-Yeah, it'll be great.
-It'll be awesome, dude.
727
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,314
-It'll be fucking fun.
-Yeah.
728
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,216
I'm gonna go check out
the pool back here.
729
00:33:06,218 --> 00:33:07,985
-All right, it's cool.
-There's actually--
730
00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:10,120
-it's covered, because i--
-it's this way?
731
00:33:10,122 --> 00:33:12,089
It's covered.
732
00:33:32,077 --> 00:33:34,077
-dude, I forgot.
-You forgot.
733
00:33:34,079 --> 00:33:35,512
I forgot.
734
00:33:35,514 --> 00:33:37,714
You forgot you invited her
to join us on tour?
735
00:33:37,716 --> 00:33:41,251
Well, not now,
but in the car I forgot.
736
00:33:41,253 --> 00:33:43,420
Yeah, we got pretty
wasted last night.
737
00:33:43,422 --> 00:33:44,588
-Yeah, did you?
-Really wasted.
738
00:33:44,590 --> 00:33:46,089
Yeah, I got fucking drunk.
739
00:33:46,091 --> 00:33:48,492
Cool. Paul Scott,
on the third wheel tour.
740
00:33:48,494 --> 00:33:52,162
Dude, no, okay?
She gets it. Okay?
741
00:33:52,164 --> 00:33:55,332
Now I told her
this is about you
getting your mojo back.
742
00:33:55,334 --> 00:33:57,434
-You told her that?
-Yeah, no.
743
00:33:57,436 --> 00:33:59,269
I mean, not that.
744
00:33:59,271 --> 00:34:02,105
But she knows this is about
you and me hanging out.
745
00:34:02,107 --> 00:34:04,374
Okay, look, Jason,
you fucked up.
746
00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:06,543
We can't undo it now,
let's just move on.
747
00:34:06,545 --> 00:34:09,046
Well, she said she could
go sleep in her Van.
748
00:34:09,048 --> 00:34:11,381
-In her Van?
-Yeah.
749
00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:13,517
-Is that safe?
-Yeah, she's got
curtains in there,
750
00:34:13,519 --> 00:34:16,753
she's got a mattress,
and it's--
751
00:34:16,755 --> 00:34:18,388
so you guys hooked up.
752
00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:19,689
Great.
That's fucking awesome.
753
00:34:19,691 --> 00:34:21,425
Wait, wait.
Why? Wait--
754
00:34:21,427 --> 00:34:23,827
-so, you're into Bryn?
-Dude, I talked to her first.
755
00:34:23,829 --> 00:34:25,395
I was hanging out
with her all night.
756
00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:27,431
-What do you think?
-Well, you went home.
757
00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:29,499
-I was being a class act.
-Okay, well, you know what,
758
00:34:29,501 --> 00:34:32,169
next time can you
fucking tell me because
i am not a mind reader.
759
00:34:32,171 --> 00:34:34,071
And you know what?
I'll tell her to go home.
760
00:34:34,073 --> 00:34:35,772
Okay? It'll just be
you and me, that's it.
761
00:34:35,774 --> 00:34:37,340
Look, what's done is done, okay?
Let's just move on.
762
00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:44,114
It's just, the thing is
you do this every fucking time.
763
00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,615
There was a meaning to this.
764
00:34:45,617 --> 00:34:47,150
-You've done this
a million times before.
-Name one.
765
00:34:47,152 --> 00:34:48,752
-Um, horde festival,
766
00:34:48,754 --> 00:34:50,253
when you ditched me to hang out
with blues traveler.
767
00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:51,621
Remember that?
768
00:34:52,557 --> 00:34:54,091
-Hi.
-Hey.
769
00:34:54,093 --> 00:34:55,325
-Did i-- was it good?
-That was great.
770
00:34:55,327 --> 00:34:57,194
Awesome, so good, man.
771
00:34:57,196 --> 00:35:00,197
-Oh, my god.
-Way to go.
772
00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:03,366
I just wish you would think
things through, you know?
773
00:35:03,368 --> 00:35:06,169
Which is why I'm on this
fucking tour to begin with.
774
00:35:06,171 --> 00:35:08,538
Mr. Paul Scott.
775
00:35:08,540 --> 00:35:09,873
Hey!
776
00:35:09,875 --> 00:35:12,375
How's it going?
777
00:35:12,377 --> 00:35:14,411
Oh, thank you very much.
How you guys doing tonight?
778
00:35:15,581 --> 00:35:17,647
It's great to be
in Pennsylvania.
779
00:35:17,649 --> 00:35:21,251
P to the a, right?
780
00:35:21,253 --> 00:35:23,487
I was running
a little late tonight.
I had to take a taxi.
781
00:35:23,489 --> 00:35:29,259
Is it me or is very, very murky
just how much you're supposed to
tip these cabbies?
782
00:35:29,261 --> 00:35:31,628
I'm pretty unclear,
and after 911,
783
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:35,265
it's gotten a lot trickier
for white guys like me,
784
00:35:35,267 --> 00:35:37,434
because most cabbies
are middle eastern
785
00:35:37,436 --> 00:35:39,269
and I have a lot
of white guilt,
786
00:35:39,271 --> 00:35:42,172
which always confuses
the tip equation for me.
787
00:35:42,174 --> 00:35:43,840
So, like I'll pull up
to a place
788
00:35:43,842 --> 00:35:46,309
and the fare
will say $11.00,
789
00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:48,145
and all I have is a twenty
and I'll tell the cabbie,
790
00:35:48,147 --> 00:35:51,148
"you know what,
you can keep the tip.
791
00:35:51,150 --> 00:35:54,217
I'm also flying out
of la guardia tomorrow
at 11:30 in the morning.
792
00:35:54,219 --> 00:35:56,853
Is that a good time to fly?"
793
00:35:56,855 --> 00:36:00,190
And try and get intel,
because you don't know
794
00:36:00,192 --> 00:36:05,829
if he has relatives
or sleeper cell affiliations.
795
00:36:05,831 --> 00:36:07,531
Not a lot of people
take taxis out here
796
00:36:07,533 --> 00:36:11,268
in this part
of Pennsylvania, huh?
797
00:36:11,270 --> 00:36:14,304
Not a big, uh--
798
00:36:14,306 --> 00:36:17,274
I guess this is also
not a prime target
for terrorists,
799
00:36:17,276 --> 00:36:19,276
all the way
out here.
800
00:36:19,278 --> 00:36:22,445
Flight 93 crashed right here
in Pennsylvania, asshole!
801
00:36:22,447 --> 00:36:23,647
Yeah!
802
00:36:25,249 --> 00:36:26,816
Yeah.
803
00:36:26,818 --> 00:36:29,553
Hey. How did you
feel up there?
804
00:36:29,555 --> 00:36:31,922
-Was it that bad?
-What? No.
805
00:36:31,924 --> 00:36:35,625
No, you were-- I mean,
i mean, you're so confident,
first of all.
806
00:36:35,627 --> 00:36:38,195
Your shirt's great.
It was a good choice.
807
00:36:38,197 --> 00:36:41,298
And I think-- I mean,
i could never do that.
808
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:45,969
Um, this next song is--
809
00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:47,370
well, it's about a girl.
810
00:36:47,372 --> 00:36:49,206
Look, I appreciate
that sentiment,
811
00:36:49,208 --> 00:36:50,207
but you don't have
to sell this
812
00:36:50,209 --> 00:36:51,775
well, I think you're great.
813
00:36:51,777 --> 00:36:54,311
She's very special to me.
And we did that hard thing of--
814
00:36:54,313 --> 00:36:59,482
we became friends
after we became lovers.
815
00:36:59,484 --> 00:37:01,484
-Can I ask you a question?
-Sure.
816
00:37:01,486 --> 00:37:04,554
-Have you seen a lot
of standup comedy?
-Why?
817
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,356
I'm just saying,
if you were exposed
818
00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:07,991
to more stand up acts,
you'd quickly realize
819
00:37:07,993 --> 00:37:09,893
that what I did up there
would not cut the mustard.
820
00:37:09,895 --> 00:37:11,695
And I get this phone
call from Brett,
821
00:37:11,697 --> 00:37:13,396
and he calls me up,
and he's like,
822
00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:15,932
"hey, would you mind
if I took her out on a date?"
823
00:37:15,934 --> 00:37:17,901
You know, I think I know
what it is, actually,
824
00:37:17,903 --> 00:37:21,404
because I'm a woman, and like
we don't understand comedy.
825
00:37:21,406 --> 00:37:23,473
We just get really
confused by it,
826
00:37:23,475 --> 00:37:24,908
and I didn't take
that college course
827
00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:26,743
on what's funny,
damn it!
828
00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:29,546
One thing you'd realize
very quickly in your studies
829
00:37:29,548 --> 00:37:31,948
is that this room
is not built for comedy.
830
00:37:31,950 --> 00:37:33,683
Jokes don't work
in this room.
831
00:37:33,685 --> 00:37:36,386
That pang of jealousy
just started to come over me,
832
00:37:36,388 --> 00:37:38,922
and I felt like I needed
to write a song about it,
833
00:37:38,924 --> 00:37:42,359
and it's called,
"she's just a girl
that I knew."
834
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:12,289
that's great.
That's fantastic.
Thank you.
835
00:38:27,539 --> 00:38:30,040
full-on penetration.
That's what that means.
836
00:38:31,443 --> 00:38:33,043
A musical comedy
is a completely
837
00:38:33,045 --> 00:38:34,477
different animal.
838
00:38:36,814 --> 00:38:38,948
And the really fucked up
part was that I felt
839
00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:43,853
the break up would somehow
give me more material
to draw from.
840
00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:46,022
You know, give me more
life experience.
841
00:38:46,024 --> 00:38:50,493
Like my situation,
made me too soft and bland
and comfortable, whatever.
842
00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:53,029
Yeah, I've been there,
done that.
843
00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:54,931
She deserved better.
844
00:38:54,933 --> 00:38:57,834
Yeah, that's probably
why I waited so long.
You know?
845
00:38:57,836 --> 00:39:01,071
I'd work on my music
and sow my wild oats
846
00:39:01,073 --> 00:39:03,473
and just get all that voodoo
shit out of my system.
847
00:39:03,475 --> 00:39:04,607
How's that working
out for you?
848
00:39:04,609 --> 00:39:07,610
Got another decade
of voodoo?
849
00:39:07,612 --> 00:39:11,014
Hey, now, I wanted to tell you
something earlier,
850
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:13,049
and I thought that it might
step on a sore spot,
851
00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:18,455
so I didn't say anything,
but I think I might have found
852
00:39:18,457 --> 00:39:20,690
the person that I want to spend
the rest of my life with.
853
00:39:20,692 --> 00:39:23,026
Bryn? You're gonna spend
the rest of your life
854
00:39:23,028 --> 00:39:24,894
-with fucking Bryn?
-No, no, no, no.
855
00:39:24,896 --> 00:39:27,597
I mean Bryn's cool.
Yeah, but, no, not Bryn.
856
00:39:27,599 --> 00:39:29,699
Becky.
857
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,101
Becky.
Who's Becky?
858
00:39:31,103 --> 00:39:32,569
What do you mean,
who's Becky?
859
00:39:32,571 --> 00:39:35,939
-Becky bellington.
-Becky bellington?
860
00:39:35,941 --> 00:39:37,907
-You remember--
-biology t.A.,
Becky bellington?
861
00:39:37,909 --> 00:39:39,409
Yes.
862
00:39:39,411 --> 00:39:40,977
How long you guys
been going out for?
863
00:39:40,979 --> 00:39:44,047
Oh, god, I don't know.
For years, really.
864
00:39:44,049 --> 00:39:47,617
-For years?
-Yeah, I mean every time
that I'd roll through town
865
00:39:47,619 --> 00:39:50,153
we had these like
crazy nights together,
866
00:39:50,155 --> 00:39:52,088
and sometimes on weekends.
867
00:39:52,090 --> 00:39:53,957
I don't know, I just never
felt anybody--
868
00:39:53,959 --> 00:39:56,626
felt the way about her
as I do feel anybody else.
869
00:39:56,628 --> 00:39:59,162
-Becky bellington?
-Yeah.
870
00:39:59,164 --> 00:40:01,831
-Do you have a photo?
-Yeah, here.
871
00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:06,069
-For years
you were hanging out.
-Yeah, yeah.
872
00:40:06,071 --> 00:40:08,772
I mean, look, here.
873
00:40:08,774 --> 00:40:10,774
That one.
That one there.
874
00:40:10,776 --> 00:40:13,877
You and Bryn are already
friends on Facebook?
875
00:40:13,879 --> 00:40:15,178
-Yeah.
-When did that happen?
876
00:40:15,180 --> 00:40:16,846
I don't know, she added me
like yesterday.
877
00:40:19,850 --> 00:40:21,518
Wow, she looks exactly
the same.
878
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,787
Mm-hmm.
879
00:40:23,789 --> 00:40:25,121
She's engaged?
880
00:40:25,123 --> 00:40:27,624
Yeah,
that's the not so sweet part.
881
00:40:29,193 --> 00:40:31,060
So where does she live?
882
00:40:31,062 --> 00:40:32,796
She lives in Charleston.
883
00:40:32,798 --> 00:40:34,998
-Charleston?
-Yeah.
884
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,134
-Isn't that one
of our last stops?
-Mm-hmm.
885
00:40:38,136 --> 00:40:41,471
Yeah, yeah, I thought
it could be kind of like
886
00:40:41,473 --> 00:40:44,441
my last hurrah
of singledom.
887
00:40:44,443 --> 00:40:46,743
-Your last hurrah.
-Yeah.
888
00:40:46,745 --> 00:40:50,180
So, is this even
a real tour?
889
00:40:50,182 --> 00:40:52,215
What? Is this even
a real tour?
890
00:40:52,217 --> 00:40:54,651
Yeah, it's a real tour.
891
00:40:54,653 --> 00:40:56,052
Okay, look.
892
00:40:56,054 --> 00:40:58,488
I booked one gig
in Charleston
893
00:40:58,490 --> 00:40:59,823
to see Becky.
894
00:40:59,825 --> 00:41:01,658
And I went on my website
and I looked
895
00:41:01,660 --> 00:41:02,892
and I thought it might be
a little obvious,
896
00:41:02,894 --> 00:41:04,961
like one lone show
in her hometown,
897
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:07,530
so I booked a few more gigs
along the way.
898
00:41:07,532 --> 00:41:09,232
I thought it would be fun
to drive, you know?
899
00:41:09,234 --> 00:41:10,834
What? Just to like
throw off the scent,
900
00:41:10,836 --> 00:41:13,837
you put on more gigs
to smokescreen it?
901
00:41:13,839 --> 00:41:17,707
No, no, well, at first, yeah,
but then I got excited about it.
902
00:41:17,709 --> 00:41:21,711
You know?
Playing smaller venues
to, like, fewer people,
903
00:41:21,713 --> 00:41:23,580
a little more intimate
of an audience.
904
00:41:23,582 --> 00:41:25,915
I thought it'd be cool.
905
00:41:25,917 --> 00:41:27,150
What?
906
00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:29,486
That face.
907
00:41:29,488 --> 00:41:31,254
Okay, remember
when we saw Bruce?
908
00:41:31,256 --> 00:41:33,756
-When he dropped in
at the stone pony?
-Yeah.
909
00:41:33,758 --> 00:41:37,560
Okay, and wasn't that the best
fucking show you ever saw?
910
00:41:37,562 --> 00:41:40,663
-Yeah, it was a good show.
-And was he playing
a real show?
911
00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:43,967
Jason, when you play
small intimate venues
912
00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:45,502
where you connect
with the crowd,
913
00:41:45,504 --> 00:41:47,170
that's one thing.
That's hip.
914
00:41:47,172 --> 00:41:49,706
Okay? That's a happening.
People say "i was there."
915
00:41:49,708 --> 00:41:52,609
When I play those same venues,
it's different.
916
00:41:52,611 --> 00:41:54,978
You understand that?
It's a reinforcement
of a dead end.
917
00:41:54,980 --> 00:41:57,013
Okay, but if this
were a real tour,
918
00:41:57,015 --> 00:41:59,015
you probably wouldn't
even be here.
919
00:41:59,017 --> 00:42:02,919
There would probably be some
indie, like, skinny Jean
hip band
920
00:42:02,921 --> 00:42:04,721
my label would force
down my throat,
921
00:42:04,723 --> 00:42:07,557
-so that I could
appeal to gen x.
-We are gen x.
922
00:42:07,559 --> 00:42:10,260
Look, I think your set's
just kind of--
923
00:42:10,262 --> 00:42:12,228
-clenched.
-What does that mean?
924
00:42:12,230 --> 00:42:15,098
-"Clenched"?
-I don't know the correct
comedy term for it,
925
00:42:15,100 --> 00:42:16,299
okay, but it's just,
i don't know,
926
00:42:16,301 --> 00:42:18,801
a little tight-ass?
927
00:42:18,803 --> 00:42:20,703
Fucking throw away
the joke book, man.
928
00:42:20,705 --> 00:42:22,705
Let go.
Okay, and in music
929
00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:24,874
the more real it is,
the more personal it is,
930
00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:26,242
people can relate to that.
931
00:42:26,244 --> 00:42:28,645
Look, I want
all of these people,
932
00:42:28,647 --> 00:42:31,180
I want everybody to know--
i want this guy
933
00:42:31,182 --> 00:42:33,883
hi.
Okay? I want him
to know who you are.
934
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:35,919
To know the Paul Scott
that I know and love.
935
00:42:35,921 --> 00:42:38,288
And if you can bring
that guy on stage
936
00:42:38,290 --> 00:42:39,622
night after night
after night,
937
00:42:39,624 --> 00:42:40,823
with that kind
of consistency,
938
00:42:40,825 --> 00:42:42,926
fuck, the sky's
the limit for you, dude.
939
00:42:42,928 --> 00:42:45,094
I appreciate you saying it.
940
00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:48,731
Can we hug it out?
Come on.
941
00:42:48,733 --> 00:42:50,099
Come on, come on.
942
00:42:50,101 --> 00:42:51,768
Bring it for the real thing.
943
00:42:51,770 --> 00:42:53,069
Yeah.
944
00:42:55,005 --> 00:42:57,941
Did they put me in country?
945
00:42:57,943 --> 00:43:00,877
So is Bryn coming down
with us to Charleston?
946
00:43:00,879 --> 00:43:02,145
Yeah, if she's up for it.
947
00:43:02,147 --> 00:43:03,313
Well, I'm sure
she's up for it.
948
00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:05,181
I think you should
tell her though,
949
00:43:05,183 --> 00:43:08,785
'cause, you know,
it's kind of a big
deal for her.
950
00:43:08,787 --> 00:43:10,653
Yeah?
951
00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:14,290
I think Bryn's
kind of a big deal
for you, hey, buddy?
952
00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:17,827
Fear not tonight, I'm gonna
leave you two alone, all right?
953
00:43:17,829 --> 00:43:19,862
I'm gonna make myself scarce.
I'll crash somewhere else.
954
00:43:19,864 --> 00:43:21,130
No, that's gonna
make it awkward.
955
00:43:21,132 --> 00:43:23,166
It would make everyone
uncomfortable.
956
00:43:23,168 --> 00:43:25,335
Dude, it's not gonna
make it awkward. Okay?
It's gonna be fine.
957
00:43:25,337 --> 00:43:27,003
-It's gonna be fine?
-Yeah, all right,
958
00:43:27,005 --> 00:43:28,371
it would be
more awkward for me
959
00:43:28,373 --> 00:43:31,341
if I'm watching you
sift through the fog.
960
00:43:31,343 --> 00:43:34,043
-Okay, so this
is about you.
-Yeah, yes.
961
00:43:34,045 --> 00:43:35,845
-Now I get it.
-Yes, this is about me.
962
00:43:35,847 --> 00:43:38,047
-Now it makes perfect sense.
-Yeah, I need this for you.
963
00:43:38,049 --> 00:43:40,283
Okay, looks like we've got
a couple rooms available.
964
00:43:40,285 --> 00:43:44,120
413, with a fireplace
and room 420.
965
00:43:44,122 --> 00:43:45,388
Which is a smoking room.
966
00:43:45,390 --> 00:43:48,191
The fireplace room
is fine, thanks.
967
00:43:48,193 --> 00:43:52,862
Hey, hey, Paul.
Is it cool if Bryn crashes
with us tonight?
968
00:43:52,864 --> 00:43:55,164
-Yeah, yeah, of course.
-Are you sure?
969
00:43:55,166 --> 00:43:56,799
-Totally.
-Yes, see.
970
00:43:56,801 --> 00:43:58,234
That's really nice.
971
00:43:58,236 --> 00:44:00,003
Shall we get a cot, then?
972
00:44:00,005 --> 00:44:01,871
-Sure.
-Yeah?
973
00:44:01,873 --> 00:44:03,406
Yeah, yeah,
that's a good idea.
974
00:44:03,408 --> 00:44:05,775
We should get a cot.
975
00:44:05,777 --> 00:44:06,909
So, you need a cot?
976
00:44:06,911 --> 00:44:08,711
Yeah, I guess
we need a cot.
977
00:44:08,713 --> 00:44:11,114
Um, you know, I'm gonna go make
a few important phone calls,
978
00:44:11,116 --> 00:44:13,750
and then smoke
a cigarette, and be--
979
00:44:13,752 --> 00:44:16,019
-thanks, bud.
-Be back in a while.
980
00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:19,956
All right.
You're all set.
981
00:44:19,958 --> 00:44:22,225
Continental breakfast
6:00 to 8:00 every morning.
982
00:44:22,227 --> 00:44:23,993
Just right up the stairs
is your room.
983
00:44:23,995 --> 00:44:25,895
And there's
a snack machine
984
00:44:25,897 --> 00:44:27,864
in case you get
the munchies.
985
00:44:27,866 --> 00:44:30,166
-Great.
-Thank you.
986
00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:32,702
Oh, this isn't so bad.
987
00:44:34,271 --> 00:44:36,973
-Yeah, it's not bad
at all, actually.
-No.
988
00:44:36,975 --> 00:44:39,676
It's even kind of fancy.
989
00:44:39,678 --> 00:44:42,178
I don't know
if I'd go that far.
990
00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:44,447
Um, do you mind
if I use the bathroom?
991
00:44:44,449 --> 00:44:46,849
Yeah, of course.
This isn't Shawshank.
992
00:44:46,851 --> 00:44:48,751
You don't have to ask
for permission.
993
00:44:48,753 --> 00:44:50,219
It was a very
weird question.
994
00:44:50,221 --> 00:44:53,790
It was a very weird--
I'm giving you 45 seconds.
995
00:44:57,461 --> 00:45:00,797
Hey, got the cot
you guys wanted.
996
00:45:00,799 --> 00:45:02,465
Oh, yeah, yeah, you know what,
actually, I don't think
we need the cot.
997
00:45:02,467 --> 00:45:05,935
- Who is it?
- It's housekeeping.
998
00:45:05,937 --> 00:45:07,937
I'm actually
the assistant manager.
999
00:45:07,939 --> 00:45:10,306
- With the cot?
- Yup!
1000
00:45:10,308 --> 00:45:12,075
Yeah, okay, why don't you
come on in?
1001
00:45:12,077 --> 00:45:15,945
Yup, just right through here.
1002
00:45:15,947 --> 00:45:18,247
I'll just pull this out
real quick.
1003
00:45:18,249 --> 00:45:19,949
-How's your day going?
-Good. How about you?
1004
00:45:19,951 --> 00:45:21,751
Do you need any help
with anything?
1005
00:45:21,753 --> 00:45:23,453
-I'll leave this
right there, okay?
-It's okay.
1006
00:45:23,455 --> 00:45:26,222
So, yeah, if you guys need
any recommendations here in town
1007
00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:27,924
for restaurants,
bowling alleys,
1008
00:45:27,926 --> 00:45:30,493
weed, just hit zero.
I'm your guy.
1009
00:45:30,495 --> 00:45:32,261
-Great.
-Hi.
1010
00:45:32,263 --> 00:45:34,397
-That's fantastic.
-Yeah, so. All right.
1011
00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:36,432
-Cool.
-All right.
1012
00:45:36,434 --> 00:45:38,000
Oh, here.
1013
00:45:38,002 --> 00:45:39,969
Forgot the--
1014
00:45:39,971 --> 00:45:42,305
yeah, all I have is a--
all I have is a twenty.
1015
00:45:42,307 --> 00:45:44,040
-I don't have any change.
-Right.
1016
00:45:44,042 --> 00:45:45,808
- Thing is--
- I don't have
any change.
1017
00:45:45,810 --> 00:45:47,143
-You don't have
any change either?
-No.
1018
00:45:47,145 --> 00:45:49,145
You don't have to.
You don't need change.
1019
00:45:49,147 --> 00:45:52,181
So, oh, wow,
that is very generous, yeah.
1020
00:45:52,183 --> 00:45:55,518
Oh, if you guy want firewood
for the fireplace,
1021
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:57,453
-i can bring that up.
-Sure, yeah, it comes
with the room.
1022
00:45:57,455 --> 00:46:01,357
Oh, it's $50, but it comes
with champagne.
1023
00:46:01,359 --> 00:46:02,525
50 bucks?
1024
00:46:02,527 --> 00:46:03,793
I think we're good.
1025
00:46:03,795 --> 00:46:05,094
Yeah, I guess we're good.
1026
00:46:05,096 --> 00:46:07,530
You'll just keep
each other warm then.
1027
00:46:07,532 --> 00:46:08,798
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1028
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,533
-All right.
-Thank you.
1029
00:46:10,535 --> 00:46:13,269
You got it.
I'll just put this
on the door outside.
1030
00:46:13,271 --> 00:46:17,273
Yeah.
This is so much
better than my Van.
1031
00:46:17,275 --> 00:46:18,875
Oh, no, you should
take one of the beds.
1032
00:46:18,877 --> 00:46:19,976
-I was gonna take the cot.
-Are you kidding?
1033
00:46:19,978 --> 00:46:21,210
-Are you sure?
-Stop.
1034
00:46:21,212 --> 00:46:22,411
-But thank you, though.
-All right.
1035
00:46:22,413 --> 00:46:24,046
-Well, if you reconsider.
-Okay.
1036
00:46:24,048 --> 00:46:25,948
-Everything good?
-Do you wanna use the bath--
1037
00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:27,216
-oh, I was gonna take a shower.
-No, I already showered.
1038
00:46:27,218 --> 00:46:28,451
-You sure?
-No, I'm sure. I'm sure.
1039
00:46:28,453 --> 00:46:29,952
Okay, okay.
1040
00:46:29,954 --> 00:46:32,922
-I shower quickly.
-Good. Cool. Enjoy.
1041
00:46:32,924 --> 00:46:34,157
A priest could walk
in on you,
1042
00:46:34,159 --> 00:46:35,925
boning a girl
in the confession booth,
1043
00:46:35,927 --> 00:46:38,494
and he'd be like, "whoo!
She's smoking. You're fine."
1044
00:46:39,998 --> 00:46:42,265
Three hail Marys
and send me some jpegs.
1045
00:46:44,034 --> 00:46:46,402
Now, Maryland, I have some
good news for you tonight.
1046
00:46:46,404 --> 00:46:49,806
Led zeppelin
couldn't do it,
1047
00:46:49,808 --> 00:46:52,508
fleetwood Mac
did not do it,
1048
00:46:52,510 --> 00:46:54,844
but tonight,
we are gonna do it,
1049
00:46:54,846 --> 00:46:58,948
stand up comedy
before folk rock,
are you ready?
1050
00:46:58,950 --> 00:47:01,417
Are you ready?
1051
00:47:01,419 --> 00:47:03,019
All right!
1052
00:47:03,021 --> 00:47:05,855
Whoo!
Yeah!
1053
00:47:07,357 --> 00:47:08,424
All right.
1054
00:47:08,426 --> 00:47:11,861
So, what is
up with evites?
1055
00:47:13,964 --> 00:47:16,299
What's up with it?
1056
00:47:16,301 --> 00:47:17,567
-Hey.
-Hey.
1057
00:47:17,569 --> 00:47:19,068
How's it going?
I got you a beer.
1058
00:47:19,070 --> 00:47:20,837
-Oh, thanks.
-Cheers.
1059
00:47:20,839 --> 00:47:22,438
Cheers.
1060
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,507
You should feel really good
about the beginning of that.
1061
00:47:24,509 --> 00:47:26,309
-It was awesome.
-Thanks.
1062
00:47:26,311 --> 00:47:28,244
Yeah, I mean, that was
just crowd work,
but thank you.
1063
00:47:28,246 --> 00:47:30,213
Oh, whatever it was,
it was great.
1064
00:47:30,215 --> 00:47:32,315
It was like here
and honest.
1065
00:47:36,987 --> 00:47:39,121
I love this song.
1066
00:47:39,123 --> 00:47:41,524
And Jason was totally right
when he said that
1067
00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:43,192
that's where
your ticket is.
1068
00:47:43,194 --> 00:47:45,027
-Like that's where--
-hey Bryn, could we not--
1069
00:47:45,029 --> 00:47:47,029
could we not
deconstruct my act
1070
00:47:47,031 --> 00:47:49,131
every night we hang out?
Is that okay?
1071
00:47:49,133 --> 00:47:50,466
-I'm sorry.
-It's okay.
1072
00:47:50,468 --> 00:47:51,601
I'm just trying
to be helpful.
1073
00:47:51,603 --> 00:47:53,469
And I just see
your potential.
1074
00:47:53,471 --> 00:47:55,338
-Oh, oh, my god,
i sound like my mom.
-My potential.
1075
00:47:55,340 --> 00:47:58,174
No, you have potential, too.
I'm just like--
1076
00:47:58,176 --> 00:48:00,610
how would you like it
if I pick apart your act
1077
00:48:00,612 --> 00:48:03,980
like moments after
you get off stage?
1078
00:48:03,982 --> 00:48:05,882
-Honestly?
-Yeah, honestly.
1079
00:48:05,884 --> 00:48:07,617
-I could handle it.
-You think you'd be
fine with it?
1080
00:48:07,619 --> 00:48:09,318
-Yup.
-Okay.
1081
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,654
Maybe we should get out
of here before Jason
1082
00:48:11,656 --> 00:48:13,356
-yeah.
-Ropes us into another
night of drinking.
1083
00:48:13,358 --> 00:48:16,125
Hi. Sorry to bug you guys,
but, do you think we can
1084
00:48:16,127 --> 00:48:18,027
-get a photo with you?
-You were so funny.
1085
00:48:18,029 --> 00:48:20,062
He was, right?
You really were.
1086
00:48:20,064 --> 00:48:22,131
-Sure, yeah.
-Your work is hysterical.
1087
00:48:22,133 --> 00:48:24,400
-Thank you.
-Are you his girlfriend?
1088
00:48:24,402 --> 00:48:26,435
-No.
-Well, you guys look
really good together.
1089
00:48:26,437 --> 00:48:28,337
-Oh, thanks.
-If you were,
that would be good.
1090
00:48:28,339 --> 00:48:29,372
-Yeah, yeah.
-Would you mind?
1091
00:48:29,374 --> 00:48:30,606
No, not at all.
1092
00:48:30,608 --> 00:48:32,408
-I really like your hair.
-Thanks.
1093
00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:33,976
-Yeah.
-You're so sweet,
all right.
1094
00:48:33,978 --> 00:48:35,378
-You guys ready?
-Are you?
1095
00:48:35,380 --> 00:48:39,248
- Say Paul Scott.
- Paul Scott.
1096
00:48:39,250 --> 00:48:40,383
-Here you go.
-Thank you so much.
1097
00:48:40,385 --> 00:48:42,218
Yeah, no problem.
1098
00:48:42,220 --> 00:48:45,221
Oh, wow,
i look so fat there.
1099
00:48:45,223 --> 00:48:47,256
Do you still want to go?
1100
00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:49,292
Well, why don't we all just
have a drink and wait
for Jason?
1101
00:48:49,294 --> 00:48:51,127
-Yeah, we'll,
get you a drink.
-Yeah.
1102
00:48:51,129 --> 00:48:53,930
Okay, you're good.
You wanna hang out
and get a--
1103
00:48:53,932 --> 00:48:56,332
uh, no, I'm good,
I'm good.
1104
00:48:56,334 --> 00:49:01,203
But, I'm gonna
quick finish this--
and you guys have fun.
1105
00:49:01,205 --> 00:49:02,405
I'm gonna head
back to the room.
1106
00:49:02,407 --> 00:49:03,706
-I'll see you there.
-You sure?
1107
00:49:03,708 --> 00:49:05,074
-Yeah.
-You don't wanna
have one drink?
1108
00:49:05,076 --> 00:49:06,309
-No, you guys have fun.
-Just one?
1109
00:49:06,311 --> 00:49:07,310
No, I'm good.
1110
00:49:07,312 --> 00:49:09,211
Nice to meet you.
1111
00:49:09,213 --> 00:49:10,413
-Hey.
-So good,
1112
00:49:10,415 --> 00:49:13,115
you're friends
with Jason black?
1113
00:49:13,117 --> 00:49:14,717
-Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah.
1114
00:49:17,154 --> 00:49:19,555
And I look,
and it's my tour manager, Kyle.
1115
00:49:19,557 --> 00:49:23,159
You know Kyle, right?
And he's riding on horseback
into the mountains
1116
00:49:23,161 --> 00:49:25,461
with no clothes on.
I swear to god.
1117
00:49:25,463 --> 00:49:28,431
And so now, you gotta remember,
it's just me, Ben folds,
1118
00:49:28,433 --> 00:49:30,700
bon iver,
and Trey anastasio,
1119
00:49:30,702 --> 00:49:32,268
from phish?
You guys know him, right?
1120
00:49:32,270 --> 00:49:33,736
Yeah, and we're sitting
in this like--
1121
00:49:33,738 --> 00:49:35,738
-in this um--
-wigwam.
1122
00:49:35,740 --> 00:49:37,540
Wigwam, wigwam,
beautiful wigwam,
1123
00:49:37,542 --> 00:49:41,077
in the door I see a shadow,
and it was a possum.
1124
00:49:41,079 --> 00:49:42,411
Oh!
1125
00:49:42,413 --> 00:49:43,713
-Do you love possums?
-I do.
1126
00:49:43,715 --> 00:49:45,314
That's great.
Are we connected.
1127
00:49:45,316 --> 00:49:47,416
-Wow.
-Yeah, it was
really great.
1128
00:49:47,418 --> 00:49:48,551
Last call.
1129
00:49:48,553 --> 00:49:49,752
All right.
Last call.
1130
00:49:49,754 --> 00:49:52,555
Um, what do you
guys wanna do?
1131
00:49:52,557 --> 00:49:55,057
I mean, since we're staying
at the same hotel--
1132
00:49:55,059 --> 00:49:57,326
I mean, we have
plenty of booze, s0--
1133
00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:58,594
yeah, let's keep it going.
1134
00:49:58,596 --> 00:50:00,529
-After party!
-After party!
1135
00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:01,664
-After party.
-Yeah!
1136
00:50:01,666 --> 00:50:03,399
Wait, you should go back.
1137
00:50:03,401 --> 00:50:05,701
No, dude, you just got out
of a fucking relationship
1138
00:50:05,703 --> 00:50:07,403
-for five years.
-Yeah.
1139
00:50:07,405 --> 00:50:09,538
All right. You're just--
this is exactly what you need.
1140
00:50:09,540 --> 00:50:11,307
I promise.
1141
00:50:11,309 --> 00:50:12,675
I hear sounds coming out.
1142
00:50:12,677 --> 00:50:14,410
-Is this--
-this is it.
1143
00:50:14,412 --> 00:50:17,146
-323.
-Okay.
1144
00:50:17,148 --> 00:50:19,148
I think someone's moving.
1145
00:50:19,150 --> 00:50:20,549
-What are you guys doing?
-Hey!
1146
00:50:20,551 --> 00:50:22,518
-Hi!
-Hi, what's up?
1147
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:24,286
-Let's go.
-There's a party
over there, too.
1148
00:50:24,288 --> 00:50:26,589
-Yeah.
-Where's anastacia?
1149
00:50:26,591 --> 00:50:29,225
Oh, she had to make
a Booty call or something.
1150
00:50:29,227 --> 00:50:31,394
But, I mean, I'm still around
to hang out if you guys want.
1151
00:50:31,396 --> 00:50:34,296
-There's plenty of booze, so--
-yeah, hey, you know,
1152
00:50:34,298 --> 00:50:36,399
I think I'll just let
you two love birds hang out
1153
00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:39,368
-and I'll hit the road.
-No way.
1154
00:50:39,370 --> 00:50:42,671
Okay, you are staying.
All right, you both
are hanging out.
1155
00:50:42,673 --> 00:50:45,641
Okay, Jason, you sit there,
1156
00:50:45,643 --> 00:50:48,177
and Paul, why don't you come
with me to the bathroom
1157
00:50:48,179 --> 00:50:51,280
and help me
make some drinks.
1158
00:50:51,282 --> 00:50:54,817
Yeah.
1159
00:50:54,819 --> 00:50:56,318
Shh.
Just--
1160
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:57,820
okay, just take
the whole thing off, yeah.
1161
00:50:57,822 --> 00:51:00,389
-So much chest hair.
-Oh, okay.
1162
00:51:05,295 --> 00:51:07,263
-I feel bad.
-Why?
1163
00:51:07,265 --> 00:51:09,398
-Jason.
-He's fine.
He's a big boy.
1164
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,467
-It's okay.
-Let's make him a drink.
1165
00:51:11,469 --> 00:51:13,302
-Okay?
-Okay.
1166
00:51:13,304 --> 00:51:14,837
Okay.
Blender.
1167
00:51:14,839 --> 00:51:17,640
- Oh! Whoo-hoo!
Okay, stop.
1168
00:51:20,377 --> 00:51:22,445
Oh, no, you thought
we forgot about you.
1169
00:51:22,447 --> 00:51:24,080
Didn't you?
Here's your drink.
1170
00:51:24,082 --> 00:51:25,648
I think I'm just gonna
sack out.
1171
00:51:25,650 --> 00:51:30,252
Oh, no, no, no.
Will you stay and party
with us, please?
1172
00:51:30,254 --> 00:51:32,688
Nah, I gotta get up early
and I gotta do stuff
in the morning.
1173
00:51:32,690 --> 00:51:34,323
Oh, yeah, early day
for the rock star, huh?
1174
00:51:34,325 --> 00:51:35,691
Okay, you're having
a special shot!
1175
00:51:35,693 --> 00:51:37,226
-A special shot.
-Mhmm.
1176
00:51:37,228 --> 00:51:39,095
-Okay, all right.
-Special.
1177
00:51:39,097 --> 00:51:40,830
-I'll just wait here for you.
-I'll make you one, don't worry.
1178
00:51:40,832 --> 00:51:42,364
Where's the--
where's the shot?
1179
00:51:42,366 --> 00:51:45,334
I was gonna--
1180
00:51:45,336 --> 00:51:47,169
-hey, Paul.
-Yup?
1181
00:51:47,171 --> 00:51:49,872
Wanna come and save me
from Nicole here?
1182
00:51:49,874 --> 00:51:53,275
Oh, tell Jason
to take his shirt off.
1183
00:51:53,277 --> 00:51:55,144
I'll talk
to the gentleman.
1184
00:51:55,146 --> 00:51:57,113
I don't want to get embroiled
in a sexual harassment suit.
1185
00:51:57,115 --> 00:51:59,181
Oh, well, I'm not
a police officer,
1186
00:51:59,183 --> 00:52:02,551
so, you can both sexually
harass me, if you want to.
1187
00:52:04,688 --> 00:52:08,224
Um, that's--
1188
00:52:08,226 --> 00:52:09,625
oh, my god,
are you guys gay?
1189
00:52:09,627 --> 00:52:11,393
-No.
-No, no.
1190
00:52:11,395 --> 00:52:12,828
'Cause I have a gay brother,
so like I totally get it.
1191
00:52:12,830 --> 00:52:15,264
-I would not be offended.
-Oh, no, no.
1192
00:52:15,266 --> 00:52:17,299
-I have a lot of gay friends.
-Yeah, I have gay
second cousins.
1193
00:52:17,301 --> 00:52:18,801
-They're awesome.
-So what am I like--
1194
00:52:18,803 --> 00:52:20,870
am I not hot enough
for you guys?
1195
00:52:20,872 --> 00:52:22,271
-No, I don't know what
you're talking about.
-Why won't you take
1196
00:52:22,273 --> 00:52:23,606
-your clothes off.
-No, no way.
1197
00:52:23,608 --> 00:52:25,174
Here, tell you what,
why don't you go get
1198
00:52:25,176 --> 00:52:27,743
that blender started,
all right, and um...
1199
00:52:27,745 --> 00:52:29,278
Maybe I'll take
my shirt off.
1200
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:30,813
-Okay.
-Deal?
1201
00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:32,548
Okay, deal.
1202
00:52:32,550 --> 00:52:35,417
Dude, I am so sorry.
- No, no.
1203
00:52:35,419 --> 00:52:36,619
I didn't do anything,
i swear to god.
1204
00:52:36,621 --> 00:52:37,753
-I know.
-I'll go.
1205
00:52:37,755 --> 00:52:39,288
No, no, no.
This is great.
1206
00:52:39,290 --> 00:52:40,589
You guys have
a good thing going.
1207
00:52:40,591 --> 00:52:42,158
I'm gonna go home
and hang out with Bryn.
1208
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:43,759
-What? Hang with Bryn?
-Yeah.
1209
00:52:43,761 --> 00:52:45,728
Dude, you have your whole life
to work on Bryn.
1210
00:52:45,730 --> 00:52:47,196
Okay? This is tonight.
1211
00:52:47,198 --> 00:52:48,564
She's a fucking 10.
1212
00:52:48,566 --> 00:52:51,233
Actually, closer
to a high 7, but yeah.
1213
00:52:51,235 --> 00:52:53,669
-High 7's fucking great.
-It is great. It is.
1214
00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:57,506
Sit down, dude.
Look, this is my last hurrah,
1215
00:52:57,508 --> 00:52:59,775
okay, before I throw my fucking
life away and get married,
1216
00:52:59,777 --> 00:53:01,911
all right?
So just do this with me.
1217
00:53:01,913 --> 00:53:03,779
This'll be great.
Come on!
1218
00:53:03,781 --> 00:53:06,782
And look, do you remember
when I had to convince you
1219
00:53:06,784 --> 00:53:08,851
to go riding atvs
with John popper?
1220
00:53:08,853 --> 00:53:10,586
-That was awesome.
-That was great, right?
1221
00:53:10,588 --> 00:53:12,655
-Awesome.
-And you didn't
want to do that.
1222
00:53:12,657 --> 00:53:14,423
Those are completely
different.
1223
00:53:14,425 --> 00:53:15,658
Neither of us are trying
to fuck John popper.
1224
00:53:15,660 --> 00:53:17,760
Okay? It's different,
and it's weird.
1225
00:53:17,762 --> 00:53:20,462
It's not weird.
I can argue that it's more
weird if we don't do it.
1226
00:53:20,464 --> 00:53:22,231
Just take your
fucking pants off.
1227
00:53:22,233 --> 00:53:23,933
-Let's go.
-All right, all right,
let's do it.
1228
00:53:23,935 --> 00:53:25,901
If we're gonna do this
we should establish
some guidelines.
1229
00:53:25,903 --> 00:53:28,204
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Guidelines.
1230
00:53:28,206 --> 00:53:31,273
-We wanna avoid
congestion back there.
-Right. Right.
1231
00:53:31,275 --> 00:53:33,275
-We don't wanna crisscross.
-I know, you know
what we'll do?
1232
00:53:33,277 --> 00:53:35,744
You stay on one side,
and then you're on the other.
1233
00:53:35,746 --> 00:53:37,680
You're looking at the Atlantic
theater of the world
1234
00:53:37,682 --> 00:53:39,381
I'm across the world
in the pacific theater.
1235
00:53:39,383 --> 00:53:41,250
That's good.
Great analogy.
1236
00:53:41,252 --> 00:53:43,485
And then we'll just let her go
back and forth to either of us.
1237
00:53:43,487 --> 00:53:45,888
-Worse than sharing?
-And we'll never even
crisscross.
1238
00:53:45,890 --> 00:53:49,892
-Okay, I got margaritas
for both men.
-All right!
1239
00:53:49,894 --> 00:53:52,928
-Where's your drink?
-Oh, I don't really drink.
1240
00:53:52,930 --> 00:53:54,463
-Oh.
-That's okay.
1241
00:53:54,465 --> 00:53:56,265
-Okay.
-Chug, chug, chug.
1242
00:53:56,267 --> 00:53:57,499
Whoo! All right.
1243
00:53:57,501 --> 00:53:59,435
Yummy.
So yummy.
1244
00:53:59,437 --> 00:54:03,372
-Wow, okay, all right.
-I like your chest hair,
it's so sexy.
1245
00:54:03,374 --> 00:54:05,241
-Thank you.
-Okay, so I only
have magnums.
1246
00:54:05,243 --> 00:54:07,409
That's cool, right?
1247
00:54:07,411 --> 00:54:08,744
-Yeah.
-Yeah, magnums
are great.
1248
00:54:08,746 --> 00:54:10,346
- Magnums!
- Yeah.
1249
00:54:10,348 --> 00:54:12,381
-Whoo!
-I use magnums
all the time.
1250
00:54:12,383 --> 00:54:14,383
I'm sorry to be like
such a square,
1251
00:54:14,385 --> 00:54:16,018
I just-- I don't have sex
with strangers
1252
00:54:16,020 --> 00:54:17,820
-without protection
-no, why would you?
1253
00:54:17,822 --> 00:54:19,989
Neither do I.
Bad idea.
1254
00:54:19,991 --> 00:54:22,424
-Okay, darling!
-Oh, boy.
1255
00:54:22,426 --> 00:54:23,892
These are double xls.
1256
00:54:23,894 --> 00:54:26,328
Wow, these are the biggest
that they make, I think.
1257
00:54:26,330 --> 00:54:27,863
Yeah, I used to date a lot
of basketball players, so...
1258
00:54:27,865 --> 00:54:29,765
-Oh, really.
-College or pros?
1259
00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:31,634
-Oh, I don't-- actually
i don't really know.
-Oh, no?
1260
00:54:31,636 --> 00:54:35,304
-Do you guys need help?
-Why don't you guys
get going there?
1261
00:54:35,306 --> 00:54:37,940
- Oh, okay.
- -I'm gonna get the blood flowing a little.
1262
00:54:37,942 --> 00:54:39,642
- Okay.
- Ooh.
1263
00:54:41,579 --> 00:54:42,945
Ow.
1264
00:54:42,947 --> 00:54:45,381
Whoa, what the fuck?
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1265
00:54:45,383 --> 00:54:46,682
- What is the--
what the fuck is that? Wait!
- Shh.
1266
00:54:46,684 --> 00:54:48,317
What the fuck is--
what is that?
1267
00:54:48,319 --> 00:54:49,785
It's a selfie stick?
It takes pictures.
1268
00:54:49,787 --> 00:54:51,587
No, I don't think
that's a good idea.
1269
00:54:51,589 --> 00:54:53,389
It's not video,
you pussies.
1270
00:54:53,391 --> 00:54:55,057
-I'm with Jason on this one.
-It's a bad idea.
1271
00:54:55,059 --> 00:54:59,795
Listen, you take the camera,
and you have the control.
1272
00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:02,598
-Jesus.
-Whoa, whoa!
1273
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:06,302
-Whoo!
-No, what?
1274
00:55:17,881 --> 00:55:19,782
No, no, no, no, no!
1275
00:55:19,784 --> 00:55:21,417
Oh, no!
My condom fell off.
1276
00:55:21,419 --> 00:55:23,686
-We haven't even started.
-I mean, it broke.
1277
00:55:23,688 --> 00:55:26,388
-Oh fuck it, you guys
are clean, right?
-Are you clean?
1278
00:55:26,390 --> 00:55:28,357
Yeah, I get tested
every Halloween.
1279
00:55:28,359 --> 00:55:30,359
Okay, yeah, I'm just gonna
go out and get some
ice real quick.
1280
00:55:30,361 --> 00:55:32,461
Wait, we have ice cubes
in the bathroom.
1281
00:55:32,463 --> 00:55:34,330
I need crushed ice.
I'll see you guys in a sec.
1282
00:55:34,332 --> 00:55:35,898
-Okay.
-You stay.
1283
00:55:35,900 --> 00:55:37,599
- You go, caligula!
- What are you doing?
1284
00:55:37,601 --> 00:55:38,634
Send me jpegs!
1285
00:55:38,636 --> 00:55:40,636
You're nicknamed
caligula?
1286
00:55:40,638 --> 00:55:43,339
Hey, could we take it like
a little slower, maybe?
1287
00:55:48,945 --> 00:55:52,448
Such a good pal.
1288
00:55:52,450 --> 00:55:53,682
The Princess!
1289
00:55:53,684 --> 00:55:56,385
The giant has stolen
the Princess!
1290
00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:59,655
Henry, do you hear
what they're yelling?
1291
00:55:59,657 --> 00:56:03,559
The giant has kidnapped
the Princess!
1292
00:56:06,697 --> 00:56:07,830
-Hey.
-Hey.
1293
00:56:07,832 --> 00:56:09,631
Let me take the cot.
1294
00:56:09,633 --> 00:56:12,000
I'm okay.
1295
00:56:12,002 --> 00:56:13,802
Where are your lady friends?
1296
00:56:13,804 --> 00:56:16,004
-Huh?
-Your lady friends?
1297
00:56:16,006 --> 00:56:18,040
Oh, the girls from the bar?
1298
00:56:18,042 --> 00:56:20,008
Yeah, the girls from the bar.
1299
00:56:20,010 --> 00:56:22,478
Jason's hanging out
with them.
1300
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:24,847
Why don't you
just take that bed?
1301
00:56:24,849 --> 00:56:27,383
Jason's paying for the tour.
He should have his own bed.
1302
00:56:27,385 --> 00:56:28,684
I'm fine.
1303
00:56:28,686 --> 00:56:32,821
You could just share
this one with me.
1304
00:56:32,823 --> 00:56:35,124
Come on.
Just no funny stuff.
1305
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:38,460
Okay.
1306
00:56:38,462 --> 00:56:41,163
And if Jason doesn't come back,
I'll just slide over.
1307
00:57:03,754 --> 00:57:06,555
You can spread out
a little bit.
1308
00:57:06,557 --> 00:57:09,958
I just don't wanna create
the perception of funny stuff.
1309
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:11,527
Here, I have an idea.
1310
00:57:11,529 --> 00:57:15,798
Why don't we put a pillow
between us?
1311
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:17,433
Can't you still
get pregnant that way?
1312
00:57:17,435 --> 00:57:19,935
Mm-mmm, pillow method works.
1313
00:57:19,937 --> 00:57:24,540
Okay, good, 'cause I do not
want any more inadvertent
pillow children.
1314
00:57:25,675 --> 00:57:29,578
I'll be so careful.
Good night.
1315
00:57:29,580 --> 00:57:31,880
Can I turn the TV off?
1316
00:58:07,551 --> 00:58:09,718
-okay, now lower register.
-Go deeper.
1317
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:11,086
-Deeper register.
-A little deeper, okay.
1318
00:58:12,256 --> 00:58:13,255
-Yeah.
-We'll start from there.
1319
00:58:13,257 --> 00:58:14,790
Go, I'm ready.
1320
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:19,721
who--who country-drops
in an evite?
1321
00:59:19,723 --> 00:59:21,657
That's just tacky, right?
1322
00:59:21,659 --> 00:59:24,726
What? How did you get
the giraffe costume
on that chick?
1323
00:59:24,728 --> 00:59:27,095
Uncouth.
1324
00:59:27,097 --> 00:59:28,697
Okay guys,
you've been a great crowd.
1325
00:59:28,699 --> 00:59:29,998
Thank you so much,
Virginia beach, goodnight.
1326
00:59:31,669 --> 00:59:33,268
-Oh, yeah. Whoo!
-Whoo whoo!
1327
00:59:33,270 --> 00:59:34,836
Whoo, Paul Scott!
1328
00:59:34,838 --> 00:59:37,940
-Ooh, way to go.
-It's a fuckin' nightmare.
1329
00:59:37,942 --> 00:59:40,175
Well, I thought
fuck you were great, man.
You were great.
1330
00:59:40,177 --> 00:59:41,677
Hey, I want you
to meet these guys.
1331
00:59:41,679 --> 00:59:43,712
They make these
fuckin' YouTube videos...
1332
00:59:43,714 --> 00:59:46,081
-Yeah. What's up, man?
-They're so--they're
hilarious, man.
1333
00:59:46,083 --> 00:59:48,116
-They're so fuckin' funny.
-Thank you. Nice set, man.
1334
00:59:48,118 --> 00:59:50,252
-It was great.
-Yeah, it was good.
It was a tough crowd.
1335
00:59:50,254 --> 00:59:51,853
You gotta see--
you gotta see these vid--
1336
00:59:51,855 --> 00:59:53,755
can you pull those
other ones up?
1337
00:59:53,757 --> 00:59:55,791
You gotta see
these videos, man.
I thought it'd be fun
1338
00:59:55,793 --> 00:59:57,225
if they come on tour
with us,
1339
00:59:57,227 --> 00:59:59,294
and, like, they got a thing
that's kinda cool.
1340
00:59:59,296 --> 01:00:01,363
-Can I talk to you
for a quick second?
-Hmm? Yeah.
1341
01:00:01,365 --> 01:00:03,265
-Okay. One second, guys.
-Okay. Yeah.
1342
01:00:05,902 --> 01:00:08,737
-Ooh. All right.
-Dude, I'm fucking bombing
up there. Hard.
1343
01:00:08,739 --> 01:00:10,939
No one's listening,
including you, and now
you're telling me
1344
01:00:10,941 --> 01:00:13,342
you want to bring
two comics on tour with us?
1345
01:00:13,344 --> 01:00:16,244
I'm just--they're just--
it was an idea, I don't know.
1346
01:00:16,246 --> 01:00:20,082
I know,
you have a lot of ideas.
A lot of bad, bad ideas.
1347
01:00:20,084 --> 01:00:22,117
Hey, guys. What's go--
this is so serious.
1348
01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:24,152
-Wait, wait, hold on, wait.
-Let me get us some drinks.
1349
01:00:24,154 --> 01:00:28,123
Okay. I asked you if you
wanted to headline
and you said yes.
1350
01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:31,259
-And now I'm the bad guy?
What the fuck is that?
-Come on. Come on.
1351
01:00:31,261 --> 01:00:33,095
What? No. We're cool.
We're cool.
1352
01:00:33,097 --> 01:00:34,630
-Are we cool?
-We're cool.
1353
01:00:34,632 --> 01:00:36,231
We're cool. Okay,
they're fu--all right.
1354
01:00:36,233 --> 01:00:39,001
Look. I fucked up, okay?
I'm sorry.
1355
01:00:39,003 --> 01:00:42,070
But this was just one show
and we have a show
tomorrow night
1356
01:00:42,072 --> 01:00:43,839
and this doesn't
even matter.
1357
01:00:43,841 --> 01:00:46,642
It does matter, Jason.
It matters to me, okay?
1358
01:00:46,644 --> 01:00:48,677
And I want you
to understand that, okay?
1359
01:00:48,679 --> 01:00:53,081
-I don't party in wigwams
with...Boniver.
-Bon--bon iver.
1360
01:00:53,083 --> 01:00:55,217
Bon iver? Okay.
I don't do that.
That's not how I roll.
1361
01:00:55,219 --> 01:00:58,153
I have to go up there
on that stage and find
a way to make it work.
1362
01:00:58,155 --> 01:01:01,757
Because if I don't,
i have to crawl back
into a 9-to-5 cave.
1363
01:01:01,759 --> 01:01:04,226
Do you understand that?
You say there's no b-plan?
1364
01:01:04,228 --> 01:01:07,162
Well, this? This?
This is my a-plan?
1365
01:01:07,164 --> 01:01:09,865
Okay. I'm sorry, okay?
You're right.
1366
01:01:09,867 --> 01:01:11,900
You're right.
I'm gonna make this right,
okay?
1367
01:01:11,902 --> 01:01:15,303
Now, like, just, let's--
starting tomorrow, okay?
1368
01:01:15,305 --> 01:01:17,873
-Are you bringing these guys
on tour with us?
-No. No, I'm not.
1369
01:01:17,875 --> 01:01:20,308
-Just--just us.
-Okay. Here we go.
Let's do it.
1370
01:01:20,310 --> 01:01:22,844
-Here we go. All right.
-I'm going back to the hotel.
You guys hang out.
1371
01:01:22,846 --> 01:01:24,312
-Okay. All right.
-I'm gonna come with you.
1372
01:01:24,314 --> 01:01:26,014
All right. Yeah.
You guys--you guys go.
1373
01:01:26,016 --> 01:01:29,184
Fucking Jason. It's been
like that since we were kids.
1374
01:01:29,186 --> 01:01:32,120
You know, he like...
1375
01:01:32,122 --> 01:01:34,322
...stumbles his way
into success, over and over
and over.
1376
01:01:34,324 --> 01:01:37,125
Just let it out.
1377
01:01:37,127 --> 01:01:39,995
Okay. I'm gonna stop.
I've said my piece.
1378
01:01:42,098 --> 01:01:43,999
Well, in other news, I...
1379
01:01:44,001 --> 01:01:45,767
I lost my job.
1380
01:01:47,136 --> 01:01:49,037
You lost your job?
When?
1381
01:01:49,039 --> 01:01:51,106
-A few days ago.
-I didn't know
you had a job.
1382
01:01:51,108 --> 01:01:53,108
-What were you doin'?
-I was a coat check girl.
1383
01:01:53,110 --> 01:01:57,012
-Are you serious?
-Well, yeah. Is it that insane?
1384
01:01:57,014 --> 01:01:59,181
No, it's just, I don't know,
it's just so damned cute.
1385
01:01:59,183 --> 01:02:01,049
-It's not cute.
-It is, it's adorable.
1386
01:02:01,051 --> 01:02:03,251
First of all,
a very noble profession.
1387
01:02:03,253 --> 01:02:05,153
It's lucrative,
and someone has to do it.
1388
01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:11,993
Can you not tell Jason
about the...Job thing?
1389
01:02:11,995 --> 01:02:14,029
-Why?
-I'm embarrassed.
1390
01:02:14,031 --> 01:02:15,764
-You're embarrassed?
-Yeah.
1391
01:02:15,766 --> 01:02:18,433
It's lame, but I just want
him to take me seriously
1392
01:02:18,435 --> 01:02:19,501
as an artist, you know?
1393
01:02:21,472 --> 01:02:23,972
-Your secret's safe with me.
-Thank you.
1394
01:02:42,325 --> 01:02:45,227
Can we just keep it like--
like this?
1395
01:02:46,162 --> 01:02:47,229
Like what?
1396
01:02:49,465 --> 01:02:52,768
I just-- I got outta
something kind of recently
1397
01:02:52,770 --> 01:02:53,969
and I just...
1398
01:02:54,971 --> 01:02:58,073
Right.
That old Chestnut.
1399
01:02:59,308 --> 01:03:00,776
What?
1400
01:03:00,778 --> 01:03:03,211
Nothing.
It doesn't matter.
1401
01:03:03,213 --> 01:03:05,547
Well clearly something's
bothering you so you should
just say it.
1402
01:03:05,549 --> 01:03:08,150
Uh, yeah, I guess I just don't
understand how, like,
you and Jason--
1403
01:03:08,152 --> 01:03:10,185
oh, god.
1404
01:03:11,988 --> 01:03:14,422
What? I thought we really, like,
had a nice thing goin'.
1405
01:03:14,424 --> 01:03:17,192
I thought we had a nice thing
going too, when we met.
1406
01:03:17,194 --> 01:03:19,127
-You did?
-And you went home.
1407
01:03:19,129 --> 01:03:20,362
-I went home?
-Yeah.
1408
01:03:20,364 --> 01:03:21,930
We were supposed to walk
home together
1409
01:03:21,932 --> 01:03:23,899
and then you did a 180
and darted back inside.
1410
01:03:23,901 --> 01:03:26,334
I did not do a 180.
My friend came up to me
1411
01:03:26,336 --> 01:03:28,503
and said "are you gonna
come listen to me play?"
I had to.
1412
01:03:28,505 --> 01:03:30,305
-You had to.
-I thought you were
gonna come in with me.
1413
01:03:30,307 --> 01:03:33,308
You had to ditch me,
go back inside and fuck Jason?
1414
01:03:33,310 --> 01:03:37,946
Really? Really?
Okay, first of all, you were
some guy that I met at a bar,
1415
01:03:37,948 --> 01:03:41,116
who lived in Boston.
And I don't know why
i should feel bad.
1416
01:03:41,118 --> 01:03:43,185
I didn't think I was
gonna ever see you again.
1417
01:03:43,187 --> 01:03:45,954
It's not like--
I'm feeling I'm made
to feel like I'm cheating
1418
01:03:45,956 --> 01:03:48,557
on somebody that I knew
for 10 minutes.
1419
01:03:50,827 --> 01:03:53,995
Also, I just felt like
if you would've been on your way
back to the hotel
1420
01:03:53,997 --> 01:03:57,132
and you ran into some
really cute girl you would've
done exactly the same thing.
1421
01:03:57,134 --> 01:03:59,367
Yeah, well, stuff like that
doesn't really happen to me,
so...
1422
01:03:59,369 --> 01:04:01,970
Well I don't know why i--
whatever.
1423
01:04:04,140 --> 01:04:05,407
Anyway, whatever.
We don't need to talk about it.
1424
01:04:05,409 --> 01:04:06,842
Okay, goodnight.
1425
01:04:21,924 --> 01:04:23,625
Hello?
1426
01:04:23,627 --> 01:04:26,127
Hey, David. How are ya?
1427
01:04:26,129 --> 01:04:29,931
I'm doin' well thanks, yeah.
1428
01:04:29,933 --> 01:04:33,001
No, no, no, Jim and i
are just finishing up
a freelance project,
1429
01:04:33,003 --> 01:04:34,135
-so this is a good--
-Jack.
1430
01:04:34,137 --> 01:04:36,338
This is a good time to chat.
1431
01:04:36,340 --> 01:04:38,340
Yeah. This a good time
to chat for you?
1432
01:04:38,342 --> 01:04:42,077
Uh-huh. So, uh, when
would you need a definitive
answer from me,
1433
01:04:42,079 --> 01:04:44,112
uh, regarding--
regarding the position?
1434
01:04:49,151 --> 01:04:51,419
So Jason, let me ask you
what brings your...
1435
01:04:51,421 --> 01:04:54,122
Peregrination to our
fair city of Charleston?
1436
01:04:54,124 --> 01:04:57,025
Actually, there's a very
special puh--person--
1437
01:04:57,027 --> 01:04:59,261
there's a lot
of special people
1438
01:04:59,263 --> 01:05:02,097
um, in Charleston.
They've really supported me
over my career.
1439
01:05:02,099 --> 01:05:04,332
And I kinda thought it would be
really great to give back
1440
01:05:04,334 --> 01:05:07,535
in a way where I could go
play some smaller venues
1441
01:05:07,537 --> 01:05:10,238
and smaller shows,
a little more intimate crowds.
1442
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:13,008
So tonight we are going
to be playing a free show
1443
01:05:13,010 --> 01:05:15,410
uh, at the slitted skirt,
so come on down.
1444
01:05:15,412 --> 01:05:19,214
And as an amuse-bouche
for the aural delights
of this evening,
1445
01:05:19,216 --> 01:05:23,551
Jason and Bryn are going
to favor us with a song,
live in studio, yes?
1446
01:05:23,553 --> 01:05:27,155
Absolutely. And uh,
and this tall drink of water
behind me,
1447
01:05:27,157 --> 01:05:30,125
this beautiful man,
is, uh, a stand up comic.
1448
01:05:30,127 --> 01:05:33,528
You might've seen him
on conan o'brien.
His name is Paul Scott.
1449
01:05:33,530 --> 01:05:36,164
-Good morning.
-All right, Scott,
i have not seen
1450
01:05:36,166 --> 01:05:39,301
your comedy stylings.
I--i haven't seen you on conan,
1451
01:05:39,303 --> 01:05:42,437
but, uh, why don't you
favor us with your
favorite joke.
1452
01:05:44,307 --> 01:05:47,709
I'm a stand-up comedian,
so I usually just perform
in clubs.
1453
01:05:47,711 --> 01:05:51,012
Well, consider us
your comedy club.
1454
01:05:51,014 --> 01:05:53,014
Well, yeah, but no,
it's like a context thing.
1455
01:05:53,016 --> 01:05:55,183
Like it, you know--
there needs to be a crowd
in front of me
1456
01:05:55,185 --> 01:05:58,053
-and a stage and...
-The way radio works is,
there is a crowd out there
1457
01:05:58,055 --> 01:06:01,122
and they're listening
right now, so, just imagine,
1458
01:06:01,124 --> 01:06:04,292
what would you say to a crowd
if you could see them?
1459
01:06:04,294 --> 01:06:09,130
Imagine you're seeing
over a hundred thousand
wppc listeners.
1460
01:06:09,132 --> 01:06:12,300
Okay. Well, have you
heard of, um, evites?
1461
01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:16,237
Yes, uh, evites are--
the "e" stands for "electronic"
1462
01:06:16,239 --> 01:06:19,674
so it's an electronic
invitation, I believe
is what they call it.
1463
01:06:19,676 --> 01:06:23,712
-And, uh, it's something
you'd get on your email.
-Yeah. Right.
1464
01:06:23,714 --> 01:06:28,016
So you'd think it would be
a very convenient way
to invite all of your friends
1465
01:06:28,018 --> 01:06:30,118
in one fell swoop to a party
you might be having.
1466
01:06:30,120 --> 01:06:33,421
Uh, but for me,
it's actually a very public
and very humiliating forum
1467
01:06:33,423 --> 01:06:36,291
for people to tell me
why they won't attend my party.
1468
01:06:38,195 --> 01:06:41,096
Like I had one friend,
she actually said,
"no, plus one."
1469
01:06:41,098 --> 01:06:44,566
So even people that I don't know
aren't coming to my party.
1470
01:06:44,568 --> 01:06:47,035
Hmm. Hmm.
1471
01:06:47,037 --> 01:06:48,703
It's funny
'cause it's true, I suppose.
1472
01:06:48,705 --> 01:06:52,040
All right. Well, thank you
so much there, Scott.
1473
01:06:52,042 --> 01:06:55,643
And when we are back from
a very quick pledge drive
announcement,
1474
01:06:55,645 --> 01:06:59,114
we will be live in studio
with Jason black
1475
01:06:59,116 --> 01:07:00,382
and Bryn Miller.
1476
01:07:01,717 --> 01:07:04,219
Okay, you know, this space
is a little bijou.
1477
01:07:04,221 --> 01:07:06,354
Um, Scott,
why don't you, uh,
1478
01:07:06,356 --> 01:07:08,690
why don't you slide over
into studio-b, get on that mic.
1479
01:07:08,692 --> 01:07:10,158
Yeah. You want me
to leave the room?
1480
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:12,394
Go around this way
and enter.
1481
01:07:13,562 --> 01:07:15,697
Okay. All right.
1482
01:07:15,699 --> 01:07:18,033
Hey, Chris,
i was wondering if maybe
we could mention
1483
01:07:18,035 --> 01:07:20,235
some of Paul's
comedy stylings and like,
just get into that
1484
01:07:20,237 --> 01:07:22,203
a little bit, 'cause I think
it'd really help him out.
1485
01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:24,272
We may not have time
to be able to do that,
1486
01:07:24,274 --> 01:07:26,808
but we can certainly
scribe something on
our Twitter feed.
1487
01:07:26,810 --> 01:07:29,611
Okay, we're gonna be
back live in...
1488
01:07:29,613 --> 01:07:31,646
Four...Three...
1489
01:07:32,748 --> 01:07:36,117
So true, so true.
1490
01:07:36,119 --> 01:07:38,153
Okay, we are back
on "morning assorted"
1491
01:07:38,155 --> 01:07:44,125
and now an exclusive wppc
Charleston public radio delight.
1492
01:07:44,127 --> 01:07:46,194
Here's Jason black
and Bryn Miller.
1493
01:07:46,196 --> 01:07:47,462
-Ready?
-Yeah.
1494
01:08:41,884 --> 01:08:44,119
-hey.
-Hey.
1495
01:08:44,121 --> 01:08:46,554
The sound guy wants to know
how many guitars you're
gonna use.
1496
01:08:46,556 --> 01:08:47,755
Uh, just one,
the stickel.
1497
01:08:47,757 --> 01:08:49,390
And then, it has
a soundhole pickup.
1498
01:08:49,392 --> 01:08:51,292
-He needs to know that.
-Okay.
1499
01:08:51,294 --> 01:08:53,761
-The rest of the stuff
is in my case.
-Okay, great.
1500
01:08:53,763 --> 01:08:55,663
How do I look?
Do I look good?
1501
01:08:55,665 --> 01:08:57,866
You look great.
You look smart, dashing.
1502
01:08:57,868 --> 01:08:59,901
-Professor-like?
-Professorial.
1503
01:08:59,903 --> 01:09:02,137
Yeah. You look great.
Maybe just tuck, uh,
this stuff.
1504
01:09:02,139 --> 01:09:04,239
No--no necklaces?
Actually, you know what,
1505
01:09:04,241 --> 01:09:06,307
on you, they're better out
because they get jambled.
1506
01:09:06,309 --> 01:09:08,476
-Okay. How's that?
-Looks great.
1507
01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:10,645
-Quick finger-comb of the beard.
-Finger-comb.
1508
01:09:10,647 --> 01:09:12,380
-Okay. How's that?
-Good. Look great.
1509
01:09:12,382 --> 01:09:14,249
-That good?
-You got this.
1510
01:09:15,384 --> 01:09:17,218
-Phew. All right.
-Good luck.
1511
01:09:24,894 --> 01:09:27,362
-Hey, Becky. Hey.
-Hi.
1512
01:09:27,364 --> 01:09:29,898
-How's it goin'? Hi.
-Hey.
1513
01:09:29,900 --> 01:09:32,167
-You look fantastic.
-Jason, oh, my god.
1514
01:09:32,169 --> 01:09:33,801
-You look super.
-You're so sweet.
1515
01:09:33,803 --> 01:09:35,670
-You look so great.
-Thank you.
1516
01:09:35,672 --> 01:09:37,338
-Whoa.
-Yeah, right? I know.
1517
01:09:37,340 --> 01:09:41,676
Sports coat.
First time in--for everything.
1518
01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:44,279
-God, you look fantastic.
-Oh, thank you.
1519
01:09:44,281 --> 01:09:46,281
-Yeah.
-I appreciate it.
1520
01:09:46,283 --> 01:09:49,817
-It's all right.
-Well, I've never, um,
been here before.
1521
01:09:49,819 --> 01:09:52,754
-Really, yeah, it's--
-yeah, it's, uh, neat.
1522
01:09:52,756 --> 01:09:55,323
Yeah, well, i--
you know, we can go
somewhere else.
1523
01:09:55,325 --> 01:09:59,928
No, no. Like, I mean...
Like to a strip club, or...
1524
01:09:59,930 --> 01:10:02,697
A little step down or--
oh, hi.
1525
01:10:02,699 --> 01:10:04,799
-Hi. Welcome
to the slitted skirt.
-Hi.
1526
01:10:04,801 --> 01:10:07,202
My name is Kelly,
i will be your waitress tonight.
1527
01:10:07,204 --> 01:10:09,904
-Hi, Kelly.
-We have a couple specials.
1528
01:10:09,906 --> 01:10:12,941
We have a leggy lager
and a horny hefeweisen.
1529
01:10:12,943 --> 01:10:16,444
- Um,
o you want some...
- They both sound great.
1530
01:10:16,446 --> 01:10:18,413
-Okay, yeah, the hef
would be great.
1531
01:10:18,415 --> 01:10:20,548
-The horny hef?
-The horny hef.
1532
01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:21,549
You got it.
1533
01:10:21,551 --> 01:10:23,585
Yeah, thank you.
1534
01:10:23,587 --> 01:10:29,390
You know, I have not
been out on a Sunday
in a really long time.
1535
01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:31,926
Really? Why?
What's--
1536
01:10:31,928 --> 01:10:36,731
yeah, well, I mean I'm out
of the house most mornings
by, like, six, so...
1537
01:10:38,334 --> 01:10:40,368
You know what? For you
i am making an exception.
1538
01:10:40,370 --> 01:10:42,770
Ah, well, I'm--I'm honored.
1539
01:10:42,772 --> 01:10:44,639
Hey, how's your dad?
1540
01:10:44,641 --> 01:10:47,675
Oh, he's great.
He's doin' a lot better.
Thanks.
1541
01:10:47,677 --> 01:10:51,779
-I'll tell him you said "hey."
He'll like that.
-Yeah. Thanks.
1542
01:10:51,781 --> 01:10:54,415
I think the last time I saw you
it was at the Atlanta show.
1543
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:57,252
No, at the show
in New York.
1544
01:10:57,254 --> 01:11:00,655
-Yeah, you remember
i flew up?
-Oh. Yeah.
1545
01:11:00,657 --> 01:11:04,392
The show in New York.
That was a crazy weekend.
1546
01:11:05,527 --> 01:11:07,695
-Look, and you're engaged.
-Yup.
1547
01:11:07,697 --> 01:11:10,765
-I mean, look. Wow.
-Not every girl
1548
01:11:10,767 --> 01:11:13,768
can just sit around
and wait for Mr. Jason black.
1549
01:11:13,770 --> 01:11:16,304
-You know? So.
-Yeah. Yeah.
1550
01:11:17,573 --> 01:11:21,943
-Well, he's a lucky dude.
-Thank you.
1551
01:11:24,013 --> 01:11:27,782
Yeah, I guess I always
just wondered...
1552
01:11:27,784 --> 01:11:30,051
What it would be like
if we were together
1553
01:11:30,053 --> 01:11:32,887
-and we had kept--
-here's y'all's horny hef,
1554
01:11:32,889 --> 01:11:36,924
and I got both of y'all
a couple of Tequila shots
just for the wait.
1555
01:11:36,926 --> 01:11:39,294
- Oh, that's a reposado.
- Wow.
1556
01:11:39,296 --> 01:11:40,995
It's very smooth.
1557
01:11:40,997 --> 01:11:42,897
I actually just had one
in the back with the busboy.
1558
01:11:42,899 --> 01:11:45,300
-Great.
-Can I start you off
with some wings?
1559
01:11:45,302 --> 01:11:47,669
Um, do you want--
are you hungry?
1560
01:11:47,671 --> 01:11:49,837
-Do you wanna eat?
-No, I'm good,
1561
01:11:49,839 --> 01:11:52,373
but you should eat,
you're probably starved.
1562
01:11:52,375 --> 01:11:56,878
Uh, okay, fine.
I'll get the 12 wings
with the blue cheese dressing.
1563
01:11:56,880 --> 01:11:59,080
-And then, um--
-how about the naughty sauce?
1564
01:11:59,082 --> 01:12:01,049
-The naughty sauce, thank you.
-All right, that's a good one.
1565
01:12:01,051 --> 01:12:02,817
That's it, yup.
Great.
1566
01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,320
Thank you.
1567
01:12:05,322 --> 01:12:09,324
Um, sorry, uh, yeah,
i guess I just always
was wondering
1568
01:12:09,326 --> 01:12:13,828
what it would be like
if we had been a couple.
1569
01:12:13,830 --> 01:12:14,962
Are you fucking kidding?
1570
01:12:14,964 --> 01:12:17,832
I think about it a lot.
1571
01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:19,400
All the time.
I really do.
1572
01:12:19,402 --> 01:12:21,836
Well, if you think
about it all the time,
1573
01:12:21,838 --> 01:12:26,808
why did you never think
to call me, or email me?
1574
01:12:26,810 --> 01:12:29,110
-Fucking text me?
-I know.
1575
01:12:29,112 --> 01:12:30,545
Okay, that's why I wanted
to bring you out tonight.
1576
01:12:30,547 --> 01:12:31,746
That's what I wanted
to tell you.
1577
01:12:31,748 --> 01:12:33,648
I wanted to let you
know how I feel.
1578
01:12:33,650 --> 01:12:37,585
Oh, okay. Great.
So, how do you feel?
Tell me how you feel.
1579
01:12:37,587 --> 01:12:41,489
Well, I feel like I'm ready
to start the next chapter
of my life.
1580
01:12:41,491 --> 01:12:43,424
You know? I feel like
I'm ready to settle down,
1581
01:12:43,426 --> 01:12:45,493
and have kids,
1582
01:12:45,495 --> 01:12:47,762
and a house.
1583
01:12:47,764 --> 01:12:50,031
You-- you could be the one.
1584
01:12:50,966 --> 01:12:52,600
You think I'm the one?
1585
01:12:52,602 --> 01:12:57,472
I mean, I knew that
i was one of, like, many.
1586
01:12:57,474 --> 01:13:00,041
Like, I'm the most special
of everyone?
1587
01:13:00,043 --> 01:13:03,511
If you think I'm the one,
i mean, you--
1588
01:13:03,513 --> 01:13:05,880
you have a really interesting
way of showing it.
1589
01:13:05,882 --> 01:13:07,582
Trust me, I know.
1590
01:13:07,584 --> 01:13:11,052
Are you saying to me
that you're ready,
1591
01:13:11,054 --> 01:13:13,788
that you want to be
in a monogamous relationship?
1592
01:13:13,790 --> 01:13:17,392
Yeah, well, I mean,
i think those are things
that we can figure out.
1593
01:13:17,394 --> 01:13:20,528
These are things that you
should have considered
1594
01:13:20,530 --> 01:13:22,463
before you showed up
here tonight
1595
01:13:22,465 --> 01:13:25,733
and just dumped this on me.
1596
01:13:25,735 --> 01:13:28,469
Don't you think that there's
something that's still here?
1597
01:13:28,471 --> 01:13:32,440
Here you go. Naughty wings
with naughty sauce.
1598
01:13:32,442 --> 01:13:34,642
Great, thank you.
Thanks a lot.
1599
01:13:34,644 --> 01:13:36,144
-Can I get y'all
something else?
-You know what,
1600
01:13:36,146 --> 01:13:38,146
just the check, I think,
would be good.
1601
01:13:38,148 --> 01:13:41,482
Okay, um, all right.
1602
01:13:43,018 --> 01:13:45,853
Just don't you remember
when we'd sit alone
1603
01:13:45,855 --> 01:13:49,023
and we'd talk about
what it would be like,
1604
01:13:49,025 --> 01:13:51,426
-just you and I?
-Yes.
1605
01:13:51,428 --> 01:13:53,861
Yeah, of course
i remember that.
1606
01:13:53,863 --> 01:13:59,667
And, at that time,
i wanted that more
than anything.
1607
01:13:59,669 --> 01:14:02,703
But you never stepped up,
1608
01:14:02,705 --> 01:14:05,106
and now I'm about
to get married.
1609
01:14:06,942 --> 01:14:10,778
And you love him?
1610
01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:12,914
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Jason.
1611
01:14:12,916 --> 01:14:15,016
You don't get to do this.
1612
01:14:15,018 --> 01:14:18,820
You don't get to just breeze
into town and carry girls off
1613
01:14:18,822 --> 01:14:22,223
to, like--
rock and roll land.
1614
01:14:23,158 --> 01:14:26,661
Just give me a night.
1615
01:14:26,663 --> 01:14:27,962
Just one night.
1616
01:14:27,964 --> 01:14:31,065
I think that
that's the problem...
1617
01:14:32,835 --> 01:14:37,605
Because all you're good for
is one night.
1618
01:14:59,595 --> 01:15:01,662
well, maybe Becky
is stressed out
1619
01:15:01,664 --> 01:15:03,498
because she's planning
a wedding.
1620
01:15:05,667 --> 01:15:07,568
Yeah, I know what
you're gonna say, all right?
1621
01:15:07,570 --> 01:15:08,736
I told you so, I know.
1622
01:15:08,738 --> 01:15:11,506
I wasn't gonna say that.
1623
01:15:11,508 --> 01:15:12,840
I was gonna say
that I'm sorry.
1624
01:15:12,842 --> 01:15:14,509
I'm genuinely sorry.
1625
01:15:14,511 --> 01:15:15,977
Dudes, she is on
her last song,
1626
01:15:15,979 --> 01:15:17,745
so you got about
two more minutes,
all right?
1627
01:15:17,747 --> 01:15:19,547
That's great.
Thanks a lot.
1628
01:15:19,549 --> 01:15:21,115
Look, man, the most
important thing
is you tried.
1629
01:15:21,117 --> 01:15:23,050
You mustered the courage
to talk to her,
1630
01:15:23,052 --> 01:15:24,752
to plan this whole thing out.
1631
01:15:24,754 --> 01:15:26,654
You know, you stepped up
to the plate.
1632
01:15:26,656 --> 01:15:30,291
-I respect that.
-Oh, man, I was a dick.
What was I thinking?
1633
01:15:30,293 --> 01:15:33,794
-She's engaged.
-Yeah, but you didn't
know that for sure.
1634
01:15:33,796 --> 01:15:37,231
-You had to find out.
-Yeah, well, I guess
there's that.
1635
01:15:41,770 --> 01:15:45,740
So what's um--
what's going on
with you and Bryn?
1636
01:15:45,742 --> 01:15:47,842
With Bryn?
1637
01:15:47,844 --> 01:15:49,076
What do you mean?
1638
01:15:49,078 --> 01:15:50,745
I don't know.
It's been two weeks,
1639
01:15:50,747 --> 01:15:52,547
I thought something
would have happened by now.
1640
01:15:52,549 --> 01:15:54,749
You know, just hanging out,
getting to know each other.
1641
01:15:54,751 --> 01:15:57,985
Well, let me know.
1642
01:15:57,987 --> 01:16:00,221
"Let you know"?
What is that supposed to mean?
1643
01:16:00,223 --> 01:16:04,959
You know, I think
it would be a shame if we both
lost out on it, you know?
1644
01:16:04,961 --> 01:16:06,861
What the fuck
are you talking about
right now?
1645
01:16:06,863 --> 01:16:08,963
What the fuck
am I talking about?
I'm talking about Bryn.
1646
01:16:08,965 --> 01:16:11,766
You're talking about
a woman here.
1647
01:16:11,768 --> 01:16:13,568
-Do you realize that?
-Yeah, and she's great.
1648
01:16:13,570 --> 01:16:15,636
We're not talking
about piece of property.
1649
01:16:15,638 --> 01:16:18,873
Is this-- is this-- are we--
is this the beginning
of a lecture?
1650
01:16:18,875 --> 01:16:22,343
Okay, I fucking know that.
I know, all right,
1651
01:16:22,345 --> 01:16:24,779
so don't fucking--
don't lecture me.
1652
01:16:24,781 --> 01:16:27,148
Do you have any idea
what it's like
1653
01:16:27,150 --> 01:16:29,850
to get your sloppy seconds
to my whole fucking life?
1654
01:16:29,852 --> 01:16:31,319
Do you have any idea
what it's like?
1655
01:16:31,321 --> 01:16:33,588
Do you? Ever since
we were fucking kids,
1656
01:16:33,590 --> 01:16:35,289
whenever I'd show
any interest in a girl,
1657
01:16:35,291 --> 01:16:37,592
you would sweep in
and snatch her away
1658
01:16:37,594 --> 01:16:39,694
-like a vulture.
-That's bullshit.
1659
01:16:39,696 --> 01:16:41,329
-It's bullshit?
-Yeah.
1660
01:16:41,331 --> 01:16:44,999
You leave that fucking door open
because you don't do anything.
1661
01:16:45,001 --> 01:16:46,601
You don't do anything.
1662
01:16:46,603 --> 01:16:48,202
And right now with Bryn.
1663
01:16:48,204 --> 01:16:49,670
All right?
What the fuck are you doing?
1664
01:16:49,672 --> 01:16:51,138
I'm sorry it's hard
for you, Jason.
1665
01:16:51,140 --> 01:16:53,207
I'm sorry that I move
at a slower pace than you.
1666
01:16:53,209 --> 01:16:56,243
I'm sorry I can't run game
on women the way that you can,
okay?
1667
01:16:56,245 --> 01:16:57,979
I like to get
to know women first.
1668
01:16:57,981 --> 01:17:00,982
I have vulnerability.
I'm sorry that frustrates you.
1669
01:17:00,984 --> 01:17:02,883
I'm sorry I can't
lock it down like you can.
1670
01:17:02,885 --> 01:17:04,652
-You have vulnerability?
-Yeah.
1671
01:17:04,654 --> 01:17:05,853
That's the biggest
bunch of bullshit
1672
01:17:05,855 --> 01:17:07,088
I've ever heard you say.
1673
01:17:07,090 --> 01:17:09,223
You go up there,
and you do something
1674
01:17:09,225 --> 01:17:12,693
from a green fucking notebook
because you can't think
of anything else.
1675
01:17:12,695 --> 01:17:16,297
You can't be who you are.
You're desperately afraid.
1676
01:17:16,299 --> 01:17:18,933
You are scared
out of your fucking mind
to be you.
1677
01:17:18,935 --> 01:17:21,869
And if you think Bryn
wants to be with that guy,
1678
01:17:21,871 --> 01:17:23,204
go ahead, you can have Bryn.
1679
01:17:23,206 --> 01:17:26,007
I can have her.
Thank you, king Jason.
1680
01:17:26,009 --> 01:17:29,677
I don't need your fucking
permission to sleep with Bryn.
1681
01:17:29,679 --> 01:17:33,247
Sorry to interrupt you guys,
but just fyi,
1682
01:17:33,249 --> 01:17:36,784
I have zero interest
in sleeping with either of you.
1683
01:17:38,286 --> 01:17:40,054
Thank you, Charleston.
1684
01:17:40,056 --> 01:17:42,390
Stick around for one
of these two assholes.
1685
01:17:45,727 --> 01:17:48,029
That was Bryn Miller.
That was fun.
1686
01:17:48,031 --> 01:17:51,298
Okay, who likes comedy?
1687
01:17:51,300 --> 01:17:55,736
Everybody does.
All right, let's give a warm
suit and skirt welcome
1688
01:17:55,738 --> 01:17:58,939
to comedian extraordinaire,
Paul Scott!
1689
01:17:58,941 --> 01:18:00,341
Have a great set.
1690
01:18:05,380 --> 01:18:07,682
How you guys doing?
1691
01:18:07,684 --> 01:18:09,350
Whoo!
1692
01:18:09,352 --> 01:18:13,988
My name is Paul Scott.
I'm a fake comedian.
1693
01:18:13,990 --> 01:18:17,758
I'm currently on a fake tour
1694
01:18:17,760 --> 01:18:20,294
with the man that you're all
patiently waiting
to see tonight,
1695
01:18:20,296 --> 01:18:23,064
Jason black.
1696
01:18:23,066 --> 01:18:25,399
I'm a fake comedian,
1697
01:18:25,401 --> 01:18:30,037
on a fake tour
that Jason set up
1698
01:18:30,039 --> 01:18:33,140
so that he could confess
his love to a woman
1699
01:18:33,142 --> 01:18:35,443
that he sees
about once a year.
1700
01:18:35,445 --> 01:18:37,078
Oh, and she's engaged.
Did I mention that?
1701
01:18:37,080 --> 01:18:39,714
She's engaged
to be married.
1702
01:18:39,716 --> 01:18:41,348
So, all you men out there
in the audience,
1703
01:18:41,350 --> 01:18:42,983
make sure you hold
your ladies close,
1704
01:18:42,985 --> 01:18:45,820
because he will try
to lure them away,
1705
01:18:45,822 --> 01:18:48,756
with his guitar,
1706
01:18:48,758 --> 01:18:52,893
and his hippie charms,
and his dirty feet.
1707
01:18:52,895 --> 01:18:54,795
No, yeah, we're doing okay,
thanks.
1708
01:18:54,797 --> 01:18:57,098
You guys wanna hear
some truth, right?
1709
01:18:57,100 --> 01:18:59,333
- Honesty, right?
- Yeah!
1710
01:18:59,335 --> 01:19:00,835
Well, here's
the honest truth.
1711
01:19:00,837 --> 01:19:03,304
It's not entirely
Jason's fault.
1712
01:19:03,306 --> 01:19:06,273
If I was completely honest,
I'd have to say that.
1713
01:19:06,275 --> 01:19:09,076
Some men are born with it,
and the others,
1714
01:19:09,078 --> 01:19:13,147
like most of us, like me,
they aren't born with it,
1715
01:19:13,149 --> 01:19:16,417
and things are a struggle,
and you have to fight,
1716
01:19:16,419 --> 01:19:19,220
and it's messy,
and there's pain.
1717
01:19:19,222 --> 01:19:24,258
I had a fiancee
and recently she left me
1718
01:19:24,260 --> 01:19:26,861
to be with a guy named Ron.
1719
01:19:26,863 --> 01:19:31,098
Dj Ron,
who wears a Yankees hat.
1720
01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:34,101
He doesn't even know
the rules of baseball,
but he wears a Yankees hat.
1721
01:19:34,103 --> 01:19:35,970
That's the kind of guy
she's gonna marry.
1722
01:19:35,972 --> 01:19:38,806
-Dj Ron.
-Audience laughs]
1723
01:19:38,808 --> 01:19:40,307
We didn't get to a divorce.
We didn't get that far.
1724
01:19:40,309 --> 01:19:42,076
A divorce would have been
honorable.
1725
01:19:42,078 --> 01:19:45,479
A divorce implies that you
actually accomplished something.
1726
01:19:45,481 --> 01:19:49,049
We didn't get that far.
We had a disengagement.
1727
01:19:49,051 --> 01:19:51,285
We had a pre-vorce.
Doesn't sound great, does it?
1728
01:19:51,287 --> 01:19:53,020
Prevorce.
1729
01:19:53,022 --> 01:19:56,090
Do you think frank Sinatra
broke off engagements? No.
1730
01:19:56,092 --> 01:20:00,528
That guy got divorced.
Di-vorced.
1731
01:20:00,530 --> 01:20:03,030
But it's not all bad news.
1732
01:20:03,032 --> 01:20:06,133
The silver lining is that I got
50% of my wedding deposit back,
1733
01:20:06,135 --> 01:20:09,436
so, in the future, if I ever
were to get to the altar again,
1734
01:20:09,438 --> 01:20:11,205
you know, maybe I could
fund half a wedding.
1735
01:20:11,207 --> 01:20:15,810
Maybe dj rob could come
with just one of his turntables.
1736
01:20:15,812 --> 01:20:17,311
Just have half a wedding.
1737
01:20:17,313 --> 01:20:20,447
And you know what,
that's okay.
That's fine.
1738
01:20:20,449 --> 01:20:22,516
That's life.
That's part of being a human.
1739
01:20:22,518 --> 01:20:26,287
And you're better off
hearing it from me,
than from Jason,
1740
01:20:26,289 --> 01:20:31,258
because Jason has never known
a day of struggle in his life.
1741
01:20:31,260 --> 01:20:33,460
I love the guy.
He's a great guy,
1742
01:20:33,462 --> 01:20:36,197
but he doesn't know struggle.
1743
01:20:36,199 --> 01:20:39,400
And that's the truth.
And thanks for hearing it.
1744
01:20:39,402 --> 01:20:42,169
You guys have been
a great group of listeners.
1745
01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:46,240
This has been an amazing tour,
and now without any further ado,
1746
01:20:46,242 --> 01:20:48,509
the man of the hour,
Mr. Jason black.
1747
01:22:00,148 --> 01:22:05,286
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
1748
01:22:05,288 --> 01:22:07,621
Thanks a lot.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
1749
01:22:07,623 --> 01:22:10,090
- Love you.
- Wow.
1750
01:22:10,092 --> 01:22:14,561
Love you, too.
So, a few months ago
1751
01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:18,532
I went on a road trip
with a buddy,
1752
01:22:18,534 --> 01:22:22,336
and it was
an old friend of mine.
1753
01:22:22,338 --> 01:22:24,271
We'd known each other
since we were kids.
1754
01:22:24,273 --> 01:22:27,341
And he's a comedian.
He's a very funny guy.
1755
01:22:27,343 --> 01:22:29,310
But he was kind of down
on his luck,
1756
01:22:29,312 --> 01:22:32,546
kind of down on himself.
Things weren't really
going that well.
1757
01:22:32,548 --> 01:22:36,317
-So, I asked him--
-hey, sorry, that ticket's
for the vip section.
1758
01:22:36,319 --> 01:22:37,551
That's all the way on the other
side of the building.
1759
01:22:37,553 --> 01:22:39,253
Other side?
Okay, thanks.
1760
01:22:39,255 --> 01:22:42,957
And he said, yeah.
So we went on tour.
1761
01:22:42,959 --> 01:22:46,994
And after a few weeks,
it was a total breakthrough.
1762
01:22:46,996 --> 01:22:49,496
- Yeah!
- A breakthrough.
1763
01:22:49,498 --> 01:22:52,166
And it was two friends,
well, two artists,
1764
01:22:52,168 --> 01:22:54,969
really travelling through
the forgotten coastal towns
of America
1765
01:22:54,971 --> 01:22:57,504
and trying to make connections
with people
1766
01:22:57,506 --> 01:23:00,641
in very real,
very different ways.
1767
01:23:00,643 --> 01:23:06,413
And it was really
special to me.
1768
01:23:06,415 --> 01:23:09,750
- Right on!
-He reminded me of why i do this,
1769
01:23:09,752 --> 01:23:13,454
reminded me of when I first
started playing music,
1770
01:23:13,456 --> 01:23:17,524
and there were no tour buses.
1771
01:23:17,526 --> 01:23:19,526
No press agents.
1772
01:23:19,528 --> 01:23:22,429
No fans.
1773
01:23:22,431 --> 01:23:24,598
But it reminded me
of what was real about it
1774
01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:28,502
which was the desire,
the hope,
1775
01:23:28,504 --> 01:23:33,640
the hunger,
and the freedom.
1776
01:23:33,642 --> 01:23:36,543
Free.
1777
01:23:36,545 --> 01:23:39,446
Anyway, I'd like to dedicate
this song to my buddy, Paul.
1778
01:23:39,448 --> 01:23:42,583
And hope you enjoy it.
1779
01:24:17,419 --> 01:24:18,585
cheers.
1780
01:24:30,331 --> 01:24:32,733
-Hi.
-Hey.
1781
01:24:32,735 --> 01:24:34,735
-How are you?
-Nice to see you.
1782
01:24:34,737 --> 01:24:36,136
It's really nice
to see you.
1783
01:24:36,138 --> 01:24:37,571
-That was amazing.
-Oh, thanks.
1784
01:24:37,573 --> 01:24:39,073
I'm so proud of you.
That was an awesome show.
1785
01:24:39,075 --> 01:24:41,341
-Thanks. I was a rock star.
-I know.
1786
01:24:41,343 --> 01:24:43,744
-I rock-starred hard.
-I know.
1787
01:24:43,746 --> 01:24:45,245
That was really,
really awesome.
1788
01:24:45,247 --> 01:24:46,647
-Thanks for coming.
-Of course.
1789
01:24:46,649 --> 01:24:48,615
Yeah.
1790
01:24:48,617 --> 01:24:50,751
-Did you have fun?
-I had a blast,
are you kidding?
1791
01:24:50,753 --> 01:24:52,519
Were your seats--
were they good?
1792
01:24:52,521 --> 01:24:54,855
-They were great.
-Okay, good. Good to know.
1793
01:24:54,857 --> 01:24:57,091
Yeah, you should have seen
the woman's face at will call
1794
01:24:57,093 --> 01:24:58,525
when I picked them up,
very impressed.
1795
01:24:58,527 --> 01:24:59,626
Shut up.
1796
01:25:01,563 --> 01:25:03,230
Oh, good.
How's your new job?
1797
01:25:03,232 --> 01:25:04,832
-It's good.
-Yeah?
1798
01:25:04,834 --> 01:25:06,233
Yeah, it's good.
I can honestly say
1799
01:25:06,235 --> 01:25:07,868
that I don't completely
despise it.
1800
01:25:07,870 --> 01:25:10,437
You should word it like that
when you ask for a promotion.
1801
01:25:10,439 --> 01:25:12,606
Right, verbatim.
How's the tour?
1802
01:25:12,608 --> 01:25:15,175
-How's all this
treating you?
-It's crazy.
1803
01:25:15,177 --> 01:25:16,710
-Yeah?
-Yeah, no, it's good.
1804
01:25:16,712 --> 01:25:19,780
Um, yeah, Jason,
he's been really supportive,
1805
01:25:19,782 --> 01:25:21,715
and, like, helpful.
Yeah, it's been good.
1806
01:25:21,717 --> 01:25:23,650
Great, good.
1807
01:25:23,652 --> 01:25:27,721
And are you two, mm-mm--
1808
01:25:27,723 --> 01:25:30,858
no, we're not "mm-mm"-ing,
no.
1809
01:25:30,860 --> 01:25:33,260
Any other lucky guys
in the picture?
1810
01:25:33,262 --> 01:25:35,329
Nope, just the groupies.
1811
01:25:35,331 --> 01:25:37,164
But I use them
for their bodies.
1812
01:25:37,166 --> 01:25:40,134
Well, of course.
1813
01:25:41,603 --> 01:25:43,904
Um, do you maybe wanna maybe
go to dinner with us?
1814
01:25:43,906 --> 01:25:47,741
We-- it's a weird group dinner,
but you could probably come.
1815
01:25:47,743 --> 01:25:51,311
Uh, you know, I'm doing this
thing at the north side tonight.
1816
01:25:51,313 --> 01:25:53,714
So, i--
1817
01:25:53,716 --> 01:25:55,883
Are you guys cool?
1818
01:25:55,885 --> 01:25:57,417
-Me and Jason?
-Yeah.
1819
01:25:57,419 --> 01:25:59,453
Yeah, we're cool.
1820
01:25:59,455 --> 01:26:03,590
I mean, I haven't talked to him
since, you know, since--
1821
01:26:03,592 --> 01:26:05,392
the meltdown.
1822
01:26:05,394 --> 01:26:07,694
The meltdown?
Is that what you guys
are calling it?
1823
01:26:07,696 --> 01:26:10,464
No. No, we're not--
i mean, you know him.
1824
01:26:10,466 --> 01:26:15,435
He keeps everything buried,
but I was wondering.
1825
01:26:15,437 --> 01:26:18,839
So, um, can I see you
later on tonight?
1826
01:26:18,841 --> 01:26:22,442
Yeah, I would love that.
I mean, I don't know
our exact schedule--
1827
01:26:22,444 --> 01:26:24,678
-feel it out.
-I'll feel it out.
1828
01:26:24,680 --> 01:26:27,614
Yeah.
1829
01:26:27,616 --> 01:26:29,183
Cool.
1830
01:26:29,185 --> 01:26:30,851
All right, I'll text you
in a bit.
1831
01:26:30,853 --> 01:26:32,753
-I'll see you later.
-All right.
1832
01:26:33,755 --> 01:26:35,289
-Bye.
-Bye.
1833
01:27:27,376 --> 01:27:31,945
you cut me, you cut me,
you cut me to the core.
1834
01:27:31,947 --> 01:27:36,650
I need you.
Thank you.
1835
01:27:36,652 --> 01:27:39,286
All right, all right,
that's Steven kadowski
everybody.
1836
01:27:39,288 --> 01:27:40,721
And remember, guys,
when you get the light
1837
01:27:40,723 --> 01:27:41,989
that means you really
have to wrap it up.
1838
01:27:41,991 --> 01:27:43,790
We can't keep going over,
all right?
1839
01:27:43,792 --> 01:27:48,328
We're at number 37,
Paul Scott.
1840
01:27:48,330 --> 01:27:49,830
Paul Scott,
another no-show?
1841
01:27:49,832 --> 01:27:52,666
-Nope.
-Paul Scott.
All right, everyone.
1842
01:27:52,668 --> 01:27:55,035
Give a big round of applause
for Paul Scott, yeah.
1843
01:27:59,007 --> 01:28:01,475
Thanks a lot.
Thank you.
1844
01:28:05,847 --> 01:28:10,350
So I have this buddy,
he's a musician,
1845
01:28:10,352 --> 01:28:11,752
pretty famous,
1846
01:28:11,754 --> 01:28:14,288
we've been friends...
1847
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Since we were kids,
and um--
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a few months ago he asked me
if I wanted to join him
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01:28:26,635 --> 01:28:28,335
on this east coast tour.
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