All language subtitles for Brockmire - 02x05 - Make-up Game.WEBRip.x264-TBS.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,778 Brock! Brock! Brock! 2 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:17,032 Brock! Brock! Brock! 3 00:00:17,116 --> 00:00:19,483 Hey, all right! 4 00:00:19,508 --> 00:00:21,374 All right. That's very nice. 5 00:00:21,549 --> 00:00:25,721 My God, look at this sea of Millennial faces. I am... 6 00:00:25,761 --> 00:00:27,791 Yeah! 7 00:00:27,921 --> 00:00:29,159 I'm terrified. 8 00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:31,013 Let's get right into it. 9 00:00:31,047 --> 00:00:33,931 I need a suggestion for a monologue. 10 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,742 - The one that got away! - The one that got at away. 11 00:00:37,767 --> 00:00:39,772 My God! 12 00:00:44,119 --> 00:00:46,476 Ooh! 13 00:00:46,649 --> 00:00:50,115 Wow. You people aren't kidding around tonight. 14 00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:52,182 So much has gotten away from me lately. 15 00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:55,286 I mean, friends, family... my father. 16 00:00:55,754 --> 00:00:58,555 Um, hard to narrow it down to just one thing. 17 00:01:00,955 --> 00:01:01,906 Folks, you ever have something 18 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,695 so pure, just so real... 19 00:01:05,179 --> 00:01:07,131 you almost felt like you didn't even deserve it? 20 00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:09,099 Can you relate to that? CROWD: Yeah. 21 00:01:09,458 --> 00:01:12,103 For me, that one thing... 22 00:01:12,622 --> 00:01:14,037 was Molly Malone. 23 00:01:17,061 --> 00:01:19,310 Yeah! 24 00:01:19,898 --> 00:01:21,585 Molly Malone is a street name 25 00:01:21,639 --> 00:01:23,427 for the purest MDMA in existence. 26 00:01:31,436 --> 00:01:33,170 Yeah? 27 00:01:34,205 --> 00:01:35,610 Hi. 28 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:37,468 Hi! 29 00:01:38,268 --> 00:01:40,860 You know, I didn't expect to see you here. 30 00:01:40,973 --> 00:01:43,534 Or ever again, really. 31 00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:45,568 I thought it'd be creepy if I saw your show 32 00:01:45,593 --> 00:01:47,460 and then didn't come say "hi" afterwards. 33 00:01:49,428 --> 00:01:51,508 Right now, "creepy" doesn't seem like such a bad thing. 34 00:01:51,661 --> 00:01:53,423 No, wait, whoa! Oh. What are you do... 35 00:01:53,509 --> 00:01:54,967 Why are you in New Orleans? 36 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,773 I have a layover. I'm on my way to Colombia. 37 00:01:56,873 --> 00:01:58,876 I've been approached about buying an ownership piece 38 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,302 of a winter ball team down there. 39 00:02:00,362 --> 00:02:02,382 - My flight leaves at midnight. - Midnight! 40 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:04,087 Well, that's practically tomorrow, isn't it? 41 00:02:04,222 --> 00:02:05,956 Come on, can... Let's grab a drink. 42 00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:08,107 - That's not a good idea. - All right. 43 00:02:08,221 --> 00:02:10,093 - Got other plans, huh? - I do. 44 00:02:10,269 --> 00:02:12,721 The in-flight magazine said that I can't leave New Orleans 45 00:02:12,746 --> 00:02:14,821 without getting a beignet from Cafe Du Monde. 46 00:02:14,846 --> 00:02:15,867 Du Monde?! No, 47 00:02:15,892 --> 00:02:17,655 that's overpriced and overcrowded, Jules. 48 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,015 I know where the locals go. 49 00:02:19,128 --> 00:02:21,621 Come on. Please. It'll be my treat. 50 00:02:21,701 --> 00:02:23,340 Don't you have an after-party to go to? 51 00:02:23,407 --> 00:02:25,375 After-party? No, I don't. 52 00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:27,782 What, my life just seems like one big party 53 00:02:27,807 --> 00:02:29,176 to you, huh, from the outside? 54 00:02:29,201 --> 00:02:32,449 I assure you, it's, uh... It's very lonely, Jules. 55 00:02:32,622 --> 00:02:33,851 So, we fucking? 56 00:02:34,175 --> 00:02:36,397 That was unfortunate timing right there. 57 00:02:36,470 --> 00:02:38,899 - So, I'm gonna say goodbye. - Fine. Let's go. 58 00:02:39,214 --> 00:02:42,035 Really? Don't give me time to change my mind. 59 00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:44,594 - Um, hello? - He'll fuck you tomorrow. 60 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,668 So, Jules, can I ask what you're doing here? 61 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:51,992 I told you. I have a layover. 62 00:02:52,017 --> 00:02:53,884 No, I mean what are we doing here? 63 00:02:55,698 --> 00:02:57,684 Okay, can I tell you why I'm here? 64 00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,305 Because I am desperate to absorb any moment 65 00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:01,663 I can possibly get with you, 66 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,313 no matter how awkward it might be. 67 00:03:04,463 --> 00:03:06,129 Kind of like the way Johnny The Hat would wring 68 00:03:06,157 --> 00:03:08,197 the bar mat into his mouth after last call. 69 00:03:08,596 --> 00:03:09,759 You... remember that? 70 00:03:09,784 --> 00:03:12,918 The saddest part was he'd always leave me a tip afterwards. 71 00:03:13,175 --> 00:03:15,639 Just be honest with me. Please. 72 00:03:19,144 --> 00:03:22,287 Okay, fine. I set up a Google Alert for "Jim Brockmire dead." 73 00:03:22,383 --> 00:03:24,351 Jesus Christ. Everybody I know has one of those things. 74 00:03:24,382 --> 00:03:26,152 So, when I got the e-mail with that headline, 75 00:03:26,177 --> 00:03:28,225 I felt terrible... Worse than when my dad died, 76 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,958 'cause the last thing I said to him was "I love you." 77 00:03:29,983 --> 00:03:32,088 Last thing I said to you... 78 00:03:32,162 --> 00:03:33,762 I don't remember exactly what it I was, but it... 79 00:03:33,792 --> 00:03:36,259 You said, "Back up," and then you slammed the door in my face. 80 00:03:36,295 --> 00:03:38,094 Yeah. So, for a second, 81 00:03:38,148 --> 00:03:41,198 I thought that was our last moment together. 82 00:03:42,253 --> 00:03:44,111 And I knew I had to tell you something. 83 00:03:46,171 --> 00:03:47,436 I don't hate you. 84 00:03:47,475 --> 00:03:48,775 Boy, this is a real roller coaster. 85 00:03:48,817 --> 00:03:50,897 You're selfish, and you did a selfish thing. 86 00:03:50,922 --> 00:03:53,503 I can hate the way you did it, but I knew who you were. 87 00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:57,711 Okay. I mean, that's progress, I guess. 88 00:03:57,736 --> 00:03:59,980 I mean, at least I am not dead to you anymore. 89 00:04:00,052 --> 00:04:02,698 Life is too short to hold that kind of grudge. 90 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,989 - Just ask these two. - Oh, yeah. 91 00:04:06,082 --> 00:04:10,116 You know why all the cemeteries in New Orleans are above ground? 92 00:04:10,354 --> 00:04:12,287 'Cause we're below sea level here. 93 00:04:12,564 --> 00:04:14,162 If they actually buried their dead, 94 00:04:14,211 --> 00:04:17,141 they'd find themselves swimming in a river of corpses. 95 00:04:17,435 --> 00:04:22,054 These monuments, they all house actual bones and... and rotting flesh. 96 00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:25,186 So, if I don't ask for macabre New Orleans trivia, 97 00:04:25,211 --> 00:04:26,419 just assume I don't want to hear it, okay? 98 00:04:26,443 --> 00:04:27,912 Just trying to be a good tour guide. 99 00:04:27,936 --> 00:04:29,957 - Yeah, well... - Seriously. No, speaking of which, 100 00:04:30,015 --> 00:04:32,494 right down that road there lies the bar 101 00:04:32,519 --> 00:04:35,309 that invented the French 75. 102 00:04:36,954 --> 00:04:38,555 Well, I think of you every time I go in there. 103 00:04:38,691 --> 00:04:41,383 I do, because for some ridiculous reason, Jules, 104 00:04:41,426 --> 00:04:42,696 that's your favorite drink. 105 00:04:42,774 --> 00:04:44,975 Because it's like a white wine spritzer without the shame. 106 00:04:45,231 --> 00:04:47,096 Oh, God, there's so much shame. 107 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,733 - We have a new mascot. - Ah. 108 00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:53,810 It's an oil derrick now. Derek the Derrick. 109 00:04:53,859 --> 00:04:56,684 Mm. Boy, you anthropomorphized the very thing 110 00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:58,442 that will be the undoing of the human race. 111 00:04:58,484 --> 00:05:00,703 That's... That's a very nice touch. 112 00:05:00,751 --> 00:05:02,317 I thought so. 113 00:05:02,381 --> 00:05:05,161 And I started a "When Harry Met Sally" promo night... 114 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:07,294 Two-for-one drinks if you fake an orgasm 115 00:05:07,325 --> 00:05:09,124 - at the concession stand. - Wow. 116 00:05:09,163 --> 00:05:11,667 It's the "I'll have what she's having." 117 00:05:12,037 --> 00:05:14,504 Nice, but I'm kind of glad I missed that one. 118 00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,826 Not sure I could have handled seeing Dale 119 00:05:16,862 --> 00:05:18,770 in the throes of pleasure like that. 120 00:05:18,997 --> 00:05:20,658 - Dale died. - What? 121 00:05:20,683 --> 00:05:22,683 - Yeah. - Get out of here. 122 00:05:23,028 --> 00:05:25,381 - How'd he die? He was so young. - Meth fire. 123 00:05:25,437 --> 00:05:27,271 Meth... Yeah, well, makes sense, doesn't it? 124 00:05:27,339 --> 00:05:29,037 You know, I-I told him. 125 00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,446 I said, "You can cook meth as a hobby" 126 00:05:31,543 --> 00:05:33,079 or you can siphon gasoline. 127 00:05:33,145 --> 00:05:35,172 You cannot do both." - Yeah. 128 00:05:35,281 --> 00:05:37,080 - You seeing anybody? - Nice segue. 129 00:05:37,164 --> 00:05:39,955 I know, I'm sorry. I just... I-I gotta know. 130 00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:41,247 You know, it's all I can think about 131 00:05:41,272 --> 00:05:42,863 since the moment I saw you. 132 00:05:43,101 --> 00:05:44,907 I'm seeing a few people. 133 00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:47,832 Not as many as you, probably. 134 00:05:47,857 --> 00:05:49,991 Oh, no, no, no. Wait a minute now. 135 00:05:50,246 --> 00:05:51,774 At first, I, uh... 136 00:05:52,007 --> 00:05:54,050 dated attractive, age-appropriate women 137 00:05:54,099 --> 00:05:56,166 as kind of a substitute for you. I did. 138 00:05:57,221 --> 00:06:00,093 Desperately aping the magic of our relationship 139 00:06:00,118 --> 00:06:02,251 like Woody Allen trying to boil a lobster 140 00:06:02,276 --> 00:06:05,477 with whoever that non-Annie-Hall-type person was. 141 00:06:05,585 --> 00:06:07,318 Now, I just, uh... 142 00:06:07,478 --> 00:06:10,612 I stick to the one-night-stand groupie well. 143 00:06:10,648 --> 00:06:12,865 I mean, it's transactional, but at least it's honest. 144 00:06:12,917 --> 00:06:14,591 You poor baby. 145 00:06:14,652 --> 00:06:16,557 So many women jumping on your dick. 146 00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:18,580 It's not easy. 147 00:06:18,656 --> 00:06:20,618 Hey, I gotta get going. My flight is... 148 00:06:20,658 --> 00:06:23,393 No, no... Hey, no. Come on. Don't get on that plane. 149 00:06:23,444 --> 00:06:26,263 Seriously, just... stay. 150 00:06:28,474 --> 00:06:29,740 Stay for what? 151 00:06:29,787 --> 00:06:31,521 Jules, you haven't had a beignet yet. 152 00:06:31,614 --> 00:06:33,847 No, you can't visit New Orleans and not have a beignet. 153 00:06:33,872 --> 00:06:35,614 That's like... That's a slap in the face 154 00:06:35,651 --> 00:06:37,751 to the editors of Delta Sky Magazine. 155 00:06:37,782 --> 00:06:40,500 - Okay. - Really? 156 00:06:40,581 --> 00:06:41,703 Well, don't make me overthink it. 157 00:06:41,728 --> 00:06:43,240 I'm pretty sure I'm making a mistake. 158 00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:46,086 Well... No, you're not. 159 00:06:46,137 --> 00:06:48,671 Since I'm staying, you can buy me another drink. 160 00:06:54,925 --> 00:06:57,326 This one's done. 161 00:06:57,429 --> 00:06:59,022 I really missed you. 162 00:07:01,559 --> 00:07:04,050 Hey, Pasquale. Yo, how you doing? 163 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,924 Double for me, usual. 164 00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:08,191 Pint glass full of White Zin for the lady. 165 00:07:08,266 --> 00:07:09,464 You heard that right. 166 00:07:11,442 --> 00:07:14,404 Kind of a regular here. Don't like to brag. 167 00:07:14,485 --> 00:07:16,818 No, I know. You mentioned it on your podcast. 168 00:07:16,848 --> 00:07:18,114 This is where you like to take a woman 169 00:07:18,139 --> 00:07:19,814 when you really want to impress her. 170 00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:21,889 - I did? - I believe your exact words were 171 00:07:21,932 --> 00:07:23,732 "put a napkin down or it's gonna look like 172 00:07:23,761 --> 00:07:26,865 there was a snail race on that barstool." 173 00:07:27,126 --> 00:07:29,329 - Get out of here. I said that? - Yeah, you did. 174 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,124 You broadcast it to anyone who'd listen. 175 00:07:31,149 --> 00:07:32,441 Oh, my goodness. 176 00:07:32,483 --> 00:07:34,950 Well, Ol' Blackout Jimmy is just full of surprises, isn't he? 177 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,119 But you know, my... Thank you, Pasquale. 178 00:07:37,175 --> 00:07:39,642 My takeaway from that story is... 179 00:07:39,768 --> 00:07:42,621 you're a regular listener to my podcast. 180 00:07:42,894 --> 00:07:45,733 I gotta have something to do while I'm folding the laundry. 181 00:07:45,810 --> 00:07:47,654 - Oh, don't we all. - Hey, I gotta pee. 182 00:07:47,679 --> 00:07:49,662 Uh, I'm assuming you've had sex in the ladies' room. 183 00:07:49,687 --> 00:07:51,620 - Oh, you know that I have. - Is it gross? 184 00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:53,441 - No, it's not bad at all. - Oh. 185 00:07:53,491 --> 00:07:55,091 Straight back that way. 186 00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:57,558 - Thank you. - Oh, sure. Enjoy. 187 00:08:01,226 --> 00:08:03,716 There you are. I had a feeling I'd find you here. 188 00:08:03,741 --> 00:08:06,153 What are you doing here? Well, I came down to let you know 189 00:08:06,178 --> 00:08:09,312 that word's coming in from Atlanta this weekend. 190 00:08:09,434 --> 00:08:11,219 - This weekend? - Yeah. 191 00:08:11,321 --> 00:08:13,434 This weekend's almost over, isn't it? Exactly. 192 00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:16,339 And I'm pretty sure no news is not good news. 193 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,758 Right. Yeah, okay. I'll see. 194 00:08:19,968 --> 00:08:22,573 - You gonna be okay? - Yeah, Charles. 195 00:08:22,648 --> 00:08:24,802 You know, if Atlanta doesn't happen, it... 196 00:08:25,050 --> 00:08:27,059 - It wasn't meant to be. - Okay. 197 00:08:27,186 --> 00:08:28,634 Okay. 198 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,325 What's going on with you? 199 00:08:30,388 --> 00:08:32,797 Nothing is going on with me. What's going on with you? 200 00:08:32,864 --> 00:08:35,931 - Hey! I missed you! - Oh, my God! 201 00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,967 - I missed you so much! - This... 202 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,608 This is great! 203 00:08:39,670 --> 00:08:41,403 It's like my parents are getting back together. 204 00:08:41,463 --> 00:08:43,431 Except, you know, I actually want this to happen. 205 00:08:43,468 --> 00:08:45,264 - Just relax. - Where's your girlfriend? 206 00:08:45,323 --> 00:08:47,456 Girlfriend? This guy doesn't have a girlfriend! 207 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:50,152 I had to bribe this guy just to have sex with somebody. 208 00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:55,421 You know what it does have, though, is someplace else to be. 209 00:08:55,446 --> 00:08:56,476 Right. Got it. 210 00:08:56,501 --> 00:08:59,162 I'll leave you two to catch up. 211 00:08:59,283 --> 00:09:02,186 - It's happening! - Nothing is happening! 212 00:09:02,211 --> 00:09:03,877 - Okay! - Stop it. 213 00:09:04,048 --> 00:09:05,696 I mean, something... Something's happening. 214 00:09:05,733 --> 00:09:06,956 I just don't want to label it, 215 00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:09,202 because that will kill what's happening... whatever that is. 216 00:09:09,227 --> 00:09:10,393 - Shut up. - All right. 217 00:09:10,505 --> 00:09:11,900 Cheers. 218 00:09:14,948 --> 00:09:17,100 You know what... do you have... You don't have saxophones? 219 00:09:24,843 --> 00:09:26,191 Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! 220 00:09:26,243 --> 00:09:27,897 Is there, like, another saxophone guy? 221 00:09:27,952 --> 00:09:30,252 I will take two trumpets if that's all you got. 222 00:09:30,348 --> 00:09:31,781 Here. Cheers. 223 00:09:44,162 --> 00:09:46,165 Oh, yeah. See, that's good. 224 00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:47,697 You can taste the jazz! 225 00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:54,751 Oh! Oh, shit! 226 00:09:54,932 --> 00:09:56,065 Oh, are you all right? 227 00:09:56,254 --> 00:09:58,387 - No! - Oh, shit! 228 00:09:58,412 --> 00:10:00,727 God damn it! God! 229 00:10:00,778 --> 00:10:02,878 How's that ankle doing? Still smarting back there? 230 00:10:02,927 --> 00:10:06,232 It hurts. And my head hurts. 231 00:10:06,464 --> 00:10:08,864 Oh, are you sobering up? No. Can't have that. 232 00:10:08,889 --> 00:10:10,221 We gotta get you another drink. 233 00:10:11,956 --> 00:10:13,432 I used to keep up with you. 234 00:10:13,468 --> 00:10:16,105 - What's happened? - I... Oh! 235 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,134 Uh, I may not be in the major leagues, 236 00:10:19,217 --> 00:10:22,151 but I've really upped my game when it comes to my alcoholism. 237 00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:23,799 Yeah, New Orleans is... 238 00:10:23,835 --> 00:10:25,428 It's really the place to go pro. 239 00:10:25,529 --> 00:10:28,832 And you know who has an up-and-coming bar scene? 240 00:10:28,866 --> 00:10:30,112 Morristown. 241 00:10:30,201 --> 00:10:32,334 Oh, yeah, Morristown has its charms. 242 00:10:32,429 --> 00:10:34,359 - It does. - Mm-hmm. 243 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:35,925 Ooh, Jules, you know what 244 00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:37,916 - night I always think about? - Mmm, which one? 245 00:10:37,951 --> 00:10:40,857 The time that we drank Sambuca... 246 00:10:40,919 --> 00:10:43,490 - ...at home plate there. - Oh, babe, me, too. 247 00:10:43,534 --> 00:10:45,400 But this time, can we have sex in a bed, 248 00:10:45,425 --> 00:10:47,025 'cause I don't want to pick dirt 249 00:10:47,050 --> 00:10:48,659 out of my ass crack for two weeks. 250 00:10:48,686 --> 00:10:50,953 I don't, either. Sure thing! I'm gonna run. 251 00:10:56,381 --> 00:10:57,874 Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. 252 00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:01,204 You just have this hotel room all the time? 253 00:11:01,393 --> 00:11:03,199 Oh, yes, this is where I take the strange 254 00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:05,106 I don't want to bring home. 255 00:11:05,477 --> 00:11:08,224 Charles can be a real judgy little prick sometimes. 256 00:11:08,249 --> 00:11:10,464 I see. So, am I the strange? 257 00:11:10,561 --> 00:11:12,829 Oh, yes, you are. You're... You are the strange. 258 00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:14,369 - Yes! - Yeah, you are. 259 00:11:14,405 --> 00:11:16,098 Your slut. 260 00:11:16,180 --> 00:11:17,513 So... 261 00:11:17,562 --> 00:11:19,588 did you have a-a good time tonight? 262 00:11:19,694 --> 00:11:21,324 Are you kidding? I'm in love. 263 00:11:24,361 --> 00:11:26,428 With New Orleans. 264 00:11:26,631 --> 00:11:28,510 - Please! - Ugh. 265 00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:30,138 No, well, I am, too. 266 00:11:30,163 --> 00:11:32,733 God, you terrified me there. 267 00:11:33,204 --> 00:11:36,405 I mean, you know, it's nice to finally find a home, you know, 268 00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:37,536 and... 269 00:11:37,602 --> 00:11:39,068 finally settle down. 270 00:11:39,110 --> 00:11:41,283 All it took was the love of a good... 271 00:11:41,713 --> 00:11:43,163 city. 272 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:46,513 - I don't believe in a soul. - Okay. 273 00:11:46,538 --> 00:11:49,095 I think it's just a delusion that masks the fact 274 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,174 that we're all just lumpy sacks of meat 275 00:11:51,215 --> 00:11:53,676 marching towards our inevitable obsolescence. 276 00:11:53,768 --> 00:11:56,139 Can we dispense with the graveyard 277 00:11:56,164 --> 00:11:57,639 - play-by-play...? - Since I don't believe in a soul, 278 00:11:57,663 --> 00:11:59,692 I can't say that I believe in a soul mate, Jules. 279 00:11:59,717 --> 00:12:01,050 But I'll tell you something. 280 00:12:01,143 --> 00:12:03,749 Uh, I do know that the connection 281 00:12:03,774 --> 00:12:06,809 that I feel between the two of us... I'm serious now... 282 00:12:09,474 --> 00:12:11,819 It's the most profound thing I've ever known. 283 00:12:20,938 --> 00:12:23,285 I just messed it up, didn't I? 284 00:12:23,354 --> 00:12:24,752 - No. - I did. 285 00:12:24,808 --> 00:12:27,687 No, I-I know what you mean. 286 00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:29,578 Usually when someone hurts me, 287 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:33,032 I could cut them out of my life like the tumor they are, but... 288 00:12:33,724 --> 00:12:36,089 oh, with you, I can't. 289 00:12:36,181 --> 00:12:38,237 Okay, so to me, you're a profound love, 290 00:12:38,262 --> 00:12:39,972 - and to you, I'm a tumor? - Yeah. 291 00:12:40,037 --> 00:12:43,839 You're a tumor. Tumor I like. Like a benign one. 292 00:12:43,868 --> 00:12:46,395 You know what? I'll take it. 293 00:12:47,231 --> 00:12:49,631 At this point, I'll take it. 294 00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:52,890 Am I still the only person you've ever had sex with on home plate? 295 00:12:53,056 --> 00:12:55,489 Oh, yeah. Absolutely. 296 00:12:56,923 --> 00:12:59,608 Although Uribe and I did jerk off on the pitcher's mound. 297 00:12:59,642 --> 00:13:01,476 Now you ruined it. 298 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:02,769 How about that beignet? 299 00:13:02,794 --> 00:13:05,929 Oh. I-I-I don't have any clothes. 300 00:13:06,103 --> 00:13:10,039 You spilled Curaçao all over my... my... my... my shirt. 301 00:13:10,112 --> 00:13:12,267 You ripped my pants. My bag is at the airport. 302 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,346 - I mean... - I got you covered. 303 00:13:13,371 --> 00:13:15,137 Why are there so many bras? 304 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,414 Are women in that big of a hurry to leave afterwards? 305 00:13:17,476 --> 00:13:20,568 Hey, my love life's kind of like the airport TGI Fridays. 306 00:13:20,605 --> 00:13:22,838 It is all about turning those tables. 307 00:13:22,863 --> 00:13:24,988 Look at this. I feel like I'm in Filene's Basement. 308 00:13:26,351 --> 00:13:28,738 Oh, shit, I've gotta take this. 309 00:13:28,834 --> 00:13:30,566 - Brockmire. - It's Whitney. 310 00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:33,626 - Is this a good time? - Well, uh, you tell me. 311 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,402 Hi. I was interested in changing my flight. 312 00:13:42,427 --> 00:13:44,761 I have a flight tonight, and I was wondering 313 00:13:44,786 --> 00:13:47,386 what your policy is about getting reimbursed. 314 00:13:47,484 --> 00:13:49,484 I reviewed the data, and, overwhelmingly, 315 00:13:49,574 --> 00:13:51,400 it seems like the greatest benefit to the franchise 316 00:13:51,442 --> 00:13:53,100 would be to go with Raj. 317 00:13:53,697 --> 00:13:55,364 Okay. That's... 318 00:13:55,439 --> 00:13:59,073 - pretty much what I figured. - But I was overruled. 319 00:13:59,737 --> 00:14:01,135 What? 320 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,994 My flight got canceled. 321 00:14:05,784 --> 00:14:07,484 My flight got canceled. 322 00:14:09,751 --> 00:14:10,924 Hey. 323 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,509 You're not gonna believe this, but my flight got canceled. 324 00:14:13,611 --> 00:14:14,740 Jules, I got it. 325 00:14:14,805 --> 00:14:18,090 I got the job! I am... I'm going to Atlanta! 326 00:14:18,363 --> 00:14:21,164 - Yeah! - Wait, what? 327 00:14:22,335 --> 00:14:23,639 How is this possible? 328 00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:25,398 You never mentioned there was a chance you were leaving. 329 00:14:25,422 --> 00:14:26,826 Jules, I didn't think there was, 330 00:14:26,851 --> 00:14:28,151 but I gotta get to Atlanta 331 00:14:28,176 --> 00:14:29,989 and press the flesh of my benefactors. 332 00:14:30,014 --> 00:14:32,080 - When? - Now. 333 00:14:32,275 --> 00:14:33,417 You're meeting them today? 334 00:14:33,442 --> 00:14:35,061 Well, the meeting's not till Wednesday, 335 00:14:35,086 --> 00:14:36,446 but I'm taking the next flight. 336 00:14:36,471 --> 00:14:38,426 - Well, change it. - Oh, Jules, I would love to. 337 00:14:38,499 --> 00:14:40,479 No, I really would, but, you know, 338 00:14:40,537 --> 00:14:42,280 I-I-I kind of like to tool around a city 339 00:14:42,305 --> 00:14:45,055 and get to know it for a couple of days before I represent it. 340 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,514 I mean, you know... kinda my process. 341 00:14:47,618 --> 00:14:49,518 Your process? What are you, Basquiat? 342 00:14:49,543 --> 00:14:50,876 You report things that people 343 00:14:50,901 --> 00:14:52,533 can already see with their own eyes. 344 00:14:52,603 --> 00:14:54,428 Well, some people would say there's kind of an art 345 00:14:54,472 --> 00:14:56,821 - to what I do. - I changed my flight for you! 346 00:14:57,061 --> 00:14:58,864 You told me it was... It was cancelled. 347 00:14:58,889 --> 00:15:01,412 I lied! Obviously! 348 00:15:02,113 --> 00:15:04,276 Jesus, just... Yeah. Call a taxi. All right. 349 00:15:04,342 --> 00:15:06,141 No, no, no, no, no. I'll... I'll push my flight. 350 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,800 - Don't do me any favors. - Ple... I want to. I do. 351 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,191 Of course, I wanna push my flight, J... 352 00:15:10,234 --> 00:15:12,701 Hey, come on. Please don't leave now. 353 00:15:17,729 --> 00:15:18,995 Why not? 354 00:15:22,219 --> 00:15:23,610 Well, beignets. 355 00:15:27,103 --> 00:15:28,464 - What will it be? - Two beignets, 356 00:15:28,506 --> 00:15:30,306 we know that for sure, and... 357 00:15:30,374 --> 00:15:31,677 A chicory coffee. 358 00:15:31,757 --> 00:15:34,114 No, uh, regular. Two regular coffees, please. 359 00:15:34,249 --> 00:15:35,554 Allow me to explain. 360 00:15:35,646 --> 00:15:38,180 Um, chicory was originally marketed 361 00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:40,940 as kind of a filler to make coffee go farther. 362 00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:43,364 It's kind of like it's a dried up old beet root 363 00:15:43,389 --> 00:15:44,922 with absolutely no caffeine in it. 364 00:15:44,975 --> 00:15:47,525 Drinking chicory coffee when regular coffee is available 365 00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:51,952 is kind of like seeing a bong full of fresh Jack Herer and going, 366 00:15:52,002 --> 00:15:53,735 "Nah, no, thanks. I'll just, uh..." 367 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,317 I'll take that half-smoked spliff 368 00:15:55,342 --> 00:15:57,777 "out of that ashtray over there." 369 00:15:57,868 --> 00:16:00,634 - Do you ever shut up? - I do not, no. 370 00:16:00,704 --> 00:16:02,689 But, hey, you knew that, didn't you? 371 00:16:04,219 --> 00:16:06,378 - I'm such an idiot! - No... 372 00:16:06,403 --> 00:16:08,202 You're not an idiot. You didn't know. 373 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,272 Chicory is real popular around here. 374 00:16:14,471 --> 00:16:15,938 Jules! 375 00:16:20,214 --> 00:16:21,814 What's up? 376 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:28,095 I started thinking, "I like it here, and... 377 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,605 I like being with Jim." 378 00:16:32,770 --> 00:16:34,515 If I don't buy into this team, 379 00:16:34,571 --> 00:16:36,417 that's five months during the off-season. 380 00:16:36,442 --> 00:16:37,970 Maybe I could split my time between... 381 00:16:37,995 --> 00:16:40,711 Well, yes. We... Why can't we do that? 382 00:16:40,864 --> 00:16:42,655 An hour ago, it was New Orleans. 383 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,452 Now it's Atlanta. What's it gonna be in six months? 384 00:16:44,482 --> 00:16:47,347 - I can't just follow you around! - Why not? 385 00:16:47,391 --> 00:16:49,959 Jules, I am... I am very delightful. 386 00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,015 I have a life in Morristown, 387 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,067 - in case you forgot. - No, I know. 388 00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:54,557 I know better than to ask you to leave there. 389 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,225 - But, look, Jules... - Then what are you saying? 390 00:16:56,273 --> 00:16:58,926 I am saying I've been doing some thinking, too. 391 00:16:59,095 --> 00:17:01,817 Tonight was amazing. I mean, it was just... 392 00:17:01,885 --> 00:17:03,885 Right? It was unbelievable. 393 00:17:04,054 --> 00:17:05,780 Why can't we meet up once a month 394 00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:07,249 at one of my road games? 395 00:17:07,290 --> 00:17:09,898 Could be in Miami or St. Louis, Cincinnati, wherever. 396 00:17:09,923 --> 00:17:11,923 The point is, it will be a night just like tonight, 397 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,948 we'll be two people, we won't know anybody. 398 00:17:13,973 --> 00:17:15,689 We'll be free to just explore a new city. 399 00:17:15,714 --> 00:17:17,807 We can just drink and dance and just... 400 00:17:18,255 --> 00:17:20,055 screw and... 401 00:17:20,104 --> 00:17:22,833 We can just... We can disappear, Jules. 402 00:17:26,658 --> 00:17:28,084 So, a bender? 403 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:31,189 No, okay, yes... no. But, yes, all right. 404 00:17:31,214 --> 00:17:32,881 Well, just think about it, just for a second. 405 00:17:32,906 --> 00:17:35,140 All highs, no lows. Right? 406 00:17:35,165 --> 00:17:37,900 We'll never have to fight over who empties the dishwasher 407 00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,457 or pick up each other's dry cleaning 408 00:17:39,483 --> 00:17:42,351 or ask each other, "How was your day, hon?" 409 00:17:42,407 --> 00:17:43,583 Jules, I'll never have to pretend 410 00:17:43,608 --> 00:17:45,051 that I didn't just hear you fart. 411 00:17:45,210 --> 00:17:47,143 Okay, think about that. No, wait... no, really! 412 00:17:47,168 --> 00:17:49,302 We just cut out all the mundane bullshit 413 00:17:49,327 --> 00:17:52,361 and get right to the perfect relationship. 414 00:17:55,872 --> 00:17:58,706 The "mundane bullshit" is a relationship. 415 00:17:58,789 --> 00:18:01,058 Yeah, but I know, but why settle for that when we can... 416 00:18:01,083 --> 00:18:02,509 You know, we can make up our own rules! 417 00:18:02,534 --> 00:18:05,266 Because I'd still be settling. 418 00:18:05,449 --> 00:18:07,015 I want someone to have a night like tonight with 419 00:18:07,063 --> 00:18:09,029 who'll also be there when I wake up in the morning. 420 00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:10,301 I want to have adventures with someone, 421 00:18:10,325 --> 00:18:13,160 but I also want someone to pay the bills with and... 422 00:18:13,415 --> 00:18:14,702 go grocery shopping 423 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:17,327 and tell me when it's time to wash my smelly jeans. 424 00:18:17,414 --> 00:18:19,704 - And I deserve all that. - Jules, you do. 425 00:18:19,870 --> 00:18:21,819 Dear God, you do. 426 00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:25,000 It's all I can offer you right now, though. 427 00:18:26,817 --> 00:18:29,263 You have a choice, and you're not choosing me... 428 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:30,322 again! 429 00:18:30,347 --> 00:18:33,117 Come on. That's a very harsh way to put it. 430 00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,824 What are you doing? I was gonna take you to the airport. 431 00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:39,096 I won't subject you to that mundane shit, hon. 432 00:18:42,386 --> 00:18:44,353 Your beignets are ready. 433 00:19:28,138 --> 00:19:29,471 Hey. 434 00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:32,274 - I'll have what he's having. - What? 435 00:19:32,569 --> 00:19:34,517 It's a callback, asshole. 436 00:19:34,785 --> 00:19:36,684 Give me a Sazerac, neat. 437 00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:44,932 Well, everybody, I want you to enjoy yourselves! 438 00:19:44,962 --> 00:19:47,162 Soak up every last moment of New Orleans 439 00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,187 that you possibly can. Why? 440 00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:51,892 Because the sea levels, they are rising faster 441 00:19:51,917 --> 00:19:55,018 than even the most dire predictions, and nobody, 442 00:19:55,043 --> 00:19:58,850 and I mean nobody in power seems to give a shit about that. 443 00:19:59,043 --> 00:20:01,310 Two generations. Two. 444 00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:04,028 All the above-ground cemeteries, they're gonna be underwater. 445 00:20:04,128 --> 00:20:07,377 So, uh... yeah, we're all just playing a fiddle 446 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,418 while Rome drowns, aren't we? 447 00:20:09,554 --> 00:20:11,420 So salud. 448 00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:18,092 What's so funny down there? 449 00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:20,518 Oh, nothing, Al Gore. 450 00:20:20,698 --> 00:20:23,845 Thanks for the climate-change lecture. 451 00:20:23,894 --> 00:20:25,860 I'll be sure to buy a Prius. 452 00:20:25,983 --> 00:20:27,550 Not saying we should try to stop it. 453 00:20:27,575 --> 00:20:30,701 I'm saying we should embrace it. Just embrace the futility. 454 00:20:32,910 --> 00:20:36,404 You sound like a junior-high kid who just discovered Nietzsche. 455 00:20:36,506 --> 00:20:39,614 Yeah, well, it's not my first nihilist rodeo, I assure you. 456 00:20:44,989 --> 00:20:50,456 So you really think our actions are meaningless? 457 00:20:50,628 --> 00:20:52,308 That... 458 00:20:52,956 --> 00:20:55,090 consequences don't matter? 459 00:20:57,287 --> 00:20:58,608 Prove it. 460 00:20:59,757 --> 00:21:01,971 And how would you like me to do that? 461 00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:07,609 Oh, shit! 462 00:21:12,550 --> 00:21:15,796 - What the hell are you doing?! - Looking for my Tide Pen. 463 00:21:16,239 --> 00:21:18,239 Jesus Christ! 464 00:21:18,597 --> 00:21:21,290 When you're really ready to go down the rabbit hole, 465 00:21:21,369 --> 00:21:23,089 call me. 466 00:21:23,354 --> 00:21:25,354 All right, okay. 467 00:21:25,416 --> 00:21:26,749 Shit. 468 00:21:31,617 --> 00:21:33,650 Are you... Are you all right? 469 00:21:33,744 --> 00:21:35,544 Mm-hmm. 470 00:21:37,353 --> 00:21:41,120 synced & corrected by PopcornAWH www.addic7ed.com 35644

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