All language subtitles for Brockmire - 01x03 - Kangaroo Court.WEBRip.x264-heat.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,675 --> 00:00:03,977 "Fun fact, Butterman is"... That's not a fun fact. 2 00:00:04,013 --> 00:00:05,307 Jenny, we got to watch these cards. 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:06,433 Sip. 4 00:00:09,118 --> 00:00:10,350 Yeah? 5 00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:12,186 We need to talk. 6 00:00:13,255 --> 00:00:15,155 Um, all right. 7 00:00:15,191 --> 00:00:17,057 Let's, uh, take a quick break. 8 00:00:17,092 --> 00:00:18,559 Give us the room, please, ladies. 9 00:00:23,432 --> 00:00:24,932 No, I don't want one. 10 00:00:24,967 --> 00:00:27,468 Uh, if we're about to have the conversation I think we are, 11 00:00:27,503 --> 00:00:28,402 you're gonna want one. 12 00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:29,910 So, you've seen the pictures? 13 00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:30,855 I have not. 14 00:00:30,949 --> 00:00:33,132 Look, they're blowing it out of proportion. 15 00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:35,300 It was just a Halloween costume. 16 00:00:35,362 --> 00:00:38,065 Six years broadcasting with you in this booth 17 00:00:38,199 --> 00:00:39,365 and they want to kick me to the curb 18 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:40,948 over some goofy pictures? 19 00:00:41,602 --> 00:00:42,768 "Goofy pictures"? 20 00:00:42,803 --> 00:00:44,470 You're in goddamn lingerie 21 00:00:44,505 --> 00:00:46,038 kissing a woman dressed as a man. 22 00:00:46,073 --> 00:00:47,773 Robbie, that's Kansas City out there, 23 00:00:47,808 --> 00:00:49,942 not "Caba-goddamn-ret." 24 00:00:49,977 --> 00:00:51,310 So, you have seen them? 25 00:00:51,345 --> 00:00:53,012 Well, of course I've seen them. Everybody's seen them. 26 00:00:53,047 --> 00:00:55,481 And why'd you have to be so goddamn attractive in them, 27 00:00:55,516 --> 00:00:57,483 especially after 9/11? 28 00:00:57,518 --> 00:00:59,285 What's 9/11 have to do with anything? 29 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,321 9/11 has to do with everything. People are still fragile. 30 00:01:02,356 --> 00:01:04,156 They can't handle the confusing feelings 31 00:01:04,192 --> 00:01:06,792 brought on by the combination of your delicate features 32 00:01:06,827 --> 00:01:08,093 and muscular build. 33 00:01:08,129 --> 00:01:09,929 I know I couldn't. 34 00:01:09,964 --> 00:01:12,131 Look, I'm swallowing my pride, 35 00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:13,999 and I'm asking you for help. 36 00:01:14,035 --> 00:01:16,402 Because... frankly, 37 00:01:16,437 --> 00:01:18,871 you have an insane amount of power. 38 00:01:18,906 --> 00:01:22,341 And with one word, you can save me. 39 00:01:22,376 --> 00:01:23,576 Come on, Jim. 40 00:01:23,611 --> 00:01:25,511 A broadcast team is still a team. 41 00:01:26,914 --> 00:01:28,280 Look, Robbie, you're too late, all right? 42 00:01:28,316 --> 00:01:30,616 It's already been done. 43 00:01:31,819 --> 00:01:35,187 Who's my replacement? 44 00:01:35,223 --> 00:01:37,923 Well you're looking at him. 45 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,025 Robbie, they offered me a one-man booth. 46 00:01:40,061 --> 00:01:41,441 I mean, can you believe it? 47 00:01:41,465 --> 00:01:43,395 I mean, Red Barber, Vince Scully, 48 00:01:43,431 --> 00:01:44,763 and now Jim Brockmire. 49 00:01:44,799 --> 00:01:47,066 I just... I can't get over it. 50 00:01:47,101 --> 00:01:50,035 Look, friend, this'll all blow over soon. 51 00:01:50,071 --> 00:01:51,337 You'll be fine. 52 00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:52,638 Few years from now, they're gonna invite you back 53 00:01:52,673 --> 00:01:53,772 for Old Timers Day. 54 00:01:53,808 --> 00:01:56,208 It'll be like none of this ever happened. 55 00:01:56,244 --> 00:01:58,544 Look, I-I just... I want to thank you for everything... 56 00:01:58,579 --> 00:02:00,898 Vince Scully is a legend. 57 00:02:01,649 --> 00:02:04,831 You're a deep voice in a cheap suit. 58 00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,720 People will learn that eventually. 59 00:02:07,755 --> 00:02:11,257 The real you is too ugly to hide forever. 60 00:02:20,701 --> 00:02:21,923 Now, just relax. 61 00:02:21,977 --> 00:02:24,737 The break between a double header is the best time in baseball. 62 00:02:24,772 --> 00:02:27,006 It's that perfect blend of postgame high 63 00:02:27,041 --> 00:02:28,207 and pregame jitters. 64 00:02:28,242 --> 00:02:30,476 It's known as the broadcaster's speed ball. 65 00:02:30,511 --> 00:02:33,579 Okay, the only thing dumber 66 00:02:33,614 --> 00:02:35,814 than playing two boring-ass baseball games 67 00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:37,750 in one day is putting a two-hour delay 68 00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:39,251 in between the boring-ass games. 69 00:02:39,287 --> 00:02:41,687 You just have to use the time 70 00:02:41,722 --> 00:02:44,123 to contemplate the more important things in life, 71 00:02:44,158 --> 00:02:46,091 like rye whisky, for example. 72 00:02:46,127 --> 00:02:48,227 This is the first American... Hey, pay attention. 73 00:02:48,262 --> 00:02:50,496 ... first American booze made by the colonists 74 00:02:50,531 --> 00:02:53,299 when rum started to become scarce. 75 00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:55,601 Rye whisky has a quiet dignity about it. 76 00:02:55,636 --> 00:02:57,469 Please, stop. Stop it. 77 00:02:57,505 --> 00:03:00,406 I watch you get drunk all day every day. 78 00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:03,942 Yeah, I just can't bear to hear you describe it. 79 00:03:03,978 --> 00:03:08,147 Can we maybe try to have a conversation? 80 00:03:08,182 --> 00:03:09,782 Okay. 81 00:03:09,817 --> 00:03:12,351 Um, well, do you have any questions for me? 82 00:03:12,386 --> 00:03:14,653 No. I already know everything about you. 83 00:03:14,689 --> 00:03:17,323 You've literally never asked me a question about myself. 84 00:03:17,358 --> 00:03:18,891 Oh, come on. That's not true. 85 00:03:18,926 --> 00:03:21,293 Just yesterday I asked you... 86 00:03:21,329 --> 00:03:23,629 I asked you if my breath still smelled like vomit. 87 00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:25,364 All right, no, point taken. Point taken. 88 00:03:27,128 --> 00:03:30,762 _ 89 00:03:32,557 --> 00:03:36,006 _ 90 00:03:38,014 --> 00:03:39,725 _ 91 00:03:39,796 --> 00:03:40,796 _ 92 00:03:40,981 --> 00:03:42,181 Hey. 93 00:03:42,216 --> 00:03:43,549 Make sure and translate what I'm about to say. 94 00:03:43,584 --> 00:03:45,217 - It's important. - For the last time, 95 00:03:45,252 --> 00:03:46,885 I am not his translator. 96 00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:49,788 I am a reporter... hm... Assigned to cover him. 97 00:03:49,824 --> 00:03:51,890 Whatever, man. Just help me out here, okay? 98 00:03:51,926 --> 00:03:54,693 - Fine, fine, fine. - Hey, yo, listen up! 99 00:03:56,597 --> 00:03:58,297 Hey, since we got to kill sometime today 100 00:03:58,332 --> 00:04:00,265 before the second game of the double header, 101 00:04:00,301 --> 00:04:02,201 I thought we should do our first kangaroo court 102 00:04:02,236 --> 00:04:03,402 of the year, baby. 103 00:04:05,239 --> 00:04:07,906 This is for the new guys. This is how the Frackers do it. 104 00:04:07,942 --> 00:04:09,641 You accuse someone of an offense. 105 00:04:09,677 --> 00:04:12,144 They argue their case, and then we vote. 106 00:04:12,179 --> 00:04:14,179 Hey. You getting all this? 107 00:04:14,215 --> 00:04:15,948 Uh, yes, yes. Hey, Yoshi. 108 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:19,760 _ 109 00:04:20,588 --> 00:04:22,020 - Ah? - "Ah." 110 00:04:22,056 --> 00:04:23,288 Exactly. 111 00:04:23,324 --> 00:04:26,291 If they are guilty, they pay the fine into the kitty. 112 00:04:26,327 --> 00:04:29,595 Now, remember, the kitty is for the beer 113 00:04:29,630 --> 00:04:32,965 and the porn website passwords we share, so pay up! 114 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,533 Pay up! 115 00:04:34,568 --> 00:04:35,801 Hey, who wants to start? 116 00:04:35,836 --> 00:04:37,703 - Me! Me! - Right here! Right here! 117 00:04:37,738 --> 00:04:40,706 Hey, hey! 118 00:04:40,741 --> 00:04:43,108 Elton missed a bunt sign last week. 119 00:04:43,144 --> 00:04:45,511 - Ooh! - A-At Slippery Rock? 120 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,012 I thought Coach gave me the swing away. 121 00:04:48,015 --> 00:04:49,047 Hey, what says the room? 122 00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:50,883 Guilty! 123 00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:53,419 Hey! I'd like to accuse Elton again. 124 00:04:53,454 --> 00:04:54,853 What's the offense? 125 00:04:54,889 --> 00:04:57,156 Just, like, being a whiny little bitch. 126 00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:01,193 What are you guys even talking about?! 127 00:05:01,228 --> 00:05:03,462 Guilty! 128 00:05:03,497 --> 00:05:05,998 - Guilty! - I have someone. 129 00:05:06,033 --> 00:05:08,600 I accuse el hijo de la porra, "Ooshi." 130 00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:18,033 "Unchi da." 131 00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:20,078 "It's Yoshi." 132 00:05:20,114 --> 00:05:21,046 "Unchi." 133 00:05:24,174 --> 00:05:27,175 - Ooh. - Oh. 134 00:05:27,555 --> 00:05:28,787 Oh! 135 00:05:28,823 --> 00:05:31,290 - I know what I always meant to ask you. - Okay. 136 00:05:31,325 --> 00:05:33,358 Why do you work for a baseball team 137 00:05:33,394 --> 00:05:37,162 when you are so defiantly ignorant about the game? 138 00:05:37,198 --> 00:05:39,765 This team is the only thing that makes our town special. 139 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,301 I plan on getting some experience here, 140 00:05:42,336 --> 00:05:46,638 then moving to New York to finally start my life. 141 00:05:46,674 --> 00:05:48,507 Sounds like a decent plan for you. 142 00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:49,942 You'd probably do pretty well in Chelsea 143 00:05:49,977 --> 00:05:51,944 if you just bulk up a little bit. 144 00:05:51,979 --> 00:05:53,745 You know, 'cause right now you got the delicate frame 145 00:05:53,781 --> 00:05:56,548 of a twink, but you don't quite have the temperament. 146 00:05:58,252 --> 00:05:59,868 Um... 147 00:06:00,888 --> 00:06:02,288 What? 148 00:06:03,057 --> 00:06:05,190 I say you have the delicate frame of a twink... 149 00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:07,392 No, I-I heard you. 150 00:06:07,428 --> 00:06:10,062 I just... 151 00:06:10,097 --> 00:06:13,699 I'm not gay, Brockmire. 152 00:06:13,734 --> 00:06:16,674 And why would you think that I am? 153 00:06:17,171 --> 00:06:18,704 'Cause I never seen you with a girl, 154 00:06:18,739 --> 00:06:20,372 you're uncomfortable in your own skin, 155 00:06:20,407 --> 00:06:22,741 and you tend to hug the walls when you're in public. 156 00:06:22,776 --> 00:06:25,744 See, what you just described is a socially awkward nerd. 157 00:06:25,779 --> 00:06:28,247 That's who I am. 158 00:06:28,282 --> 00:06:31,383 I panic around girls and crowds 159 00:06:31,418 --> 00:06:33,719 and people I don't know. 160 00:06:33,754 --> 00:06:35,387 All right, but I also used your computer 161 00:06:35,422 --> 00:06:37,422 to look up some naked photos of Ann-Margret... 162 00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:39,091 - Okay, wow! - ... and I discovered 163 00:06:39,126 --> 00:06:41,860 what you called your "inspiration" folder, 164 00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:43,662 which is really just a bunch of pictures 165 00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:46,832 of handsome men in various states of dress. 166 00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:53,205 What you found was my fashion inspiration folder. 167 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,640 Okay, did you wonder 168 00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:58,877 why 90% of those photos were just of shoes? 169 00:06:58,913 --> 00:07:01,580 I just figured that was some kind of a gay black thing. 170 00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:04,917 I need your language skills. 171 00:07:04,952 --> 00:07:06,351 Locker room is about to explode. 172 00:07:06,387 --> 00:07:08,520 I mean, they were speaking Japanese and Spanish so fast 173 00:07:08,556 --> 00:07:09,922 I could barely understand what they were saying. 174 00:07:09,957 --> 00:07:11,823 I've seen my fair share of kangaroo courts, 175 00:07:11,859 --> 00:07:13,158 but I've never seen anything like this. 176 00:07:13,193 --> 00:07:14,426 It's all gonna be fine. 177 00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:16,495 It's just the locker room's way of cleansing itself. 178 00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:18,397 It all gets worked out... 179 00:07:21,969 --> 00:07:22,901 Yep. 180 00:07:32,455 --> 00:07:34,955 Whoa! Whoa! 181 00:07:35,002 --> 00:07:37,390 Please, just tranquillo, all right? 182 00:07:37,461 --> 00:07:40,095 And you guys, uh... 183 00:07:40,131 --> 00:07:42,464 Nobody do anything. 184 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,333 All right, so, here's the deal. 185 00:07:44,368 --> 00:07:47,736 Um, the Latin players all have Uribe's back, 186 00:07:47,772 --> 00:07:49,738 but the pitchers all support Yoshi. 187 00:07:49,774 --> 00:07:51,373 All right, but this is okay. This is just... 188 00:07:51,409 --> 00:07:53,175 This is the way the locker room cleanses itself. 189 00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:54,176 Oh, no, no, no. 190 00:07:54,211 --> 00:07:55,544 No matter how this thing shakes out, 191 00:07:55,579 --> 00:07:58,080 one half of this locker room is not gonna play with the other, 192 00:07:58,115 --> 00:08:00,716 so, no, this is a doozy of a pickle of a shit storm. 193 00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:02,551 Anyhoos, best of luck to you. 194 00:08:02,586 --> 00:08:03,952 Wait a minute. 195 00:08:03,988 --> 00:08:06,188 For some reason, our attendance is back in the crapper. 196 00:08:06,223 --> 00:08:08,424 We can't alienate the rest of the fans we have 197 00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:09,391 by canceling the second game. 198 00:08:09,427 --> 00:08:10,492 You have to fix this. 199 00:08:10,528 --> 00:08:12,194 I do? Me? Why me? 200 00:08:12,229 --> 00:08:14,029 I-I'm the P.A. announcer. 201 00:08:14,065 --> 00:08:17,166 'Cause nobody else in town speaks both Spanish and Japanese, and you know, 202 00:08:17,201 --> 00:08:19,168 Yoshi's translator's gotten really uppity lately. 203 00:08:19,203 --> 00:08:21,670 You know, I know I could help, but why would I? 204 00:08:21,706 --> 00:08:24,073 Hey, that... No, that's your team, not mine. 205 00:08:24,108 --> 00:08:26,108 You have something better to do? 206 00:08:26,143 --> 00:08:26,818 I do, actually. 207 00:08:26,850 --> 00:08:28,541 - I was "pontifidrinking"... Right now? - You have somewhere to be? 208 00:08:28,546 --> 00:08:30,879 - Okay, how about you help me... - which is a portmanteau of "pontificating" 209 00:08:30,915 --> 00:08:32,915 ... because last night when you knocked on my door 210 00:08:32,950 --> 00:08:34,750 at 3:00 in the morning high on speed 211 00:08:34,785 --> 00:08:35,984 begging me to be your girlfriend... 212 00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:37,686 Whoa, whoa, hey. 213 00:08:37,722 --> 00:08:40,489 Just because I don't want to wear a condom anymore 214 00:08:40,524 --> 00:08:42,458 does not make me your boyfriend. 215 00:08:42,493 --> 00:08:44,827 There was an implicit agreement that you would give back 216 00:08:44,862 --> 00:08:46,762 - as much as I'm giving. - What are you talking about? 217 00:08:46,797 --> 00:08:48,630 I've been going down on you so much lately 218 00:08:48,666 --> 00:08:50,566 I put your pussy down as my forwarding address. 219 00:08:50,601 --> 00:08:52,234 I'm not talking about giving back sexually, 220 00:08:52,269 --> 00:08:54,403 because that should just stay the same or increase if possible. 221 00:08:54,438 --> 00:08:56,705 I'm talking about a favor. 222 00:08:56,741 --> 00:08:59,341 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 223 00:09:00,945 --> 00:09:02,711 I'm gonna bring Jim in. 224 00:09:02,747 --> 00:09:04,713 He's gonna help us figure this out. Jim? 225 00:09:06,518 --> 00:09:08,250 All right, look... 226 00:09:08,285 --> 00:09:09,451 We all want justice here. 227 00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:12,554 Justice will be if the richest guy on the team 228 00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,757 pays a $100 fine. 229 00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:16,525 [Players shouting indistinctly 230 00:09:20,331 --> 00:09:21,797 "If you're looking to blame somebody" 231 00:09:21,832 --> 00:09:23,432 for your injuries, perhaps you should not stand 232 00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:24,900 "so close on top of the plate." 233 00:09:26,637 --> 00:09:28,070 "You penis biter." 234 00:09:30,474 --> 00:09:31,373 Whoa! 235 00:09:31,408 --> 00:09:32,808 Guys. 236 00:09:32,843 --> 00:09:34,176 Look, it's obvious that some kind 237 00:09:34,211 --> 00:09:37,312 of a bush-league kangaroo court is not gonna settle this. 238 00:09:37,348 --> 00:09:40,482 So, instead we're gonna do a Major League kangaroo court. 239 00:09:40,518 --> 00:09:42,351 That's actually not a bad idea. All right. 240 00:09:42,386 --> 00:09:45,053 Major League kangaroo court... So, that means evidence, 241 00:09:45,089 --> 00:09:46,855 witnesses, the whole shebang. 242 00:09:46,891 --> 00:09:49,825 Now, Uribe's gonna be the prosecutor, all right? 243 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:52,661 I will be the defense attorney. 244 00:09:52,696 --> 00:09:55,030 Now, we need a judge... Somebody who is impartial 245 00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,533 who's not caught up in all of this baseball drama. 246 00:09:57,568 --> 00:09:59,434 Yo, Drake and Taylor Swift are dating! 247 00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:01,003 Albums, y'all! 248 00:10:02,506 --> 00:10:03,639 What's going on? 249 00:10:06,723 --> 00:10:09,855 What is this trial even about, though? 250 00:10:09,926 --> 00:10:12,312 Uribe wanted Yoshi to throw a pitch 251 00:10:12,383 --> 00:10:14,680 and hit a batter on the other team. 252 00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,398 Oh. 253 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,384 Well, that's easy. Uribe's guilty. 254 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,685 - Mnh, no. - No. 255 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,126 That's a... That's a standard baseball request. 256 00:10:23,173 --> 00:10:25,290 Yoshi's on trial 'cause he didn't do it. 257 00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:31,089 Baseball is a up sport, and I want you to know it. 258 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,424 Hey. 259 00:10:32,459 --> 00:10:34,426 Every... 260 00:10:34,461 --> 00:10:36,428 Everyone. 261 00:10:36,463 --> 00:10:39,064 Um, uh, Mr. Uribe, 262 00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:41,800 do you have any evidence you'd like to... 263 00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:45,404 Oh, sí. 264 00:10:52,212 --> 00:10:54,546 - Oh! - Ooh. 265 00:10:56,350 --> 00:10:58,617 Oh, damn. 266 00:10:58,652 --> 00:10:59,951 Okay. 267 00:10:59,987 --> 00:11:01,253 Okay. 268 00:11:01,288 --> 00:11:04,756 "Rawlings" is spelled out backwards inside the bruise. 269 00:11:04,792 --> 00:11:06,491 Yep, that's a baseball right there. 270 00:11:06,527 --> 00:11:07,592 That's horrifying. 271 00:11:07,628 --> 00:11:10,235 Sí. Verdad. 272 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:14,066 I call my witness... 273 00:11:14,101 --> 00:11:17,269 Ryan Stanton. 274 00:11:17,304 --> 00:11:19,104 Mr. Stanton, 275 00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:20,572 What did I tell you 276 00:11:20,607 --> 00:11:23,175 after ratreria's pitch hit Uribe? 277 00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:25,186 You told me to tell Yoshi to hurt him... 278 00:11:25,311 --> 00:11:27,061 Then some Dominican gibberish. 279 00:11:27,139 --> 00:11:29,247 - But you understood what I meant. - Yeah. 280 00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:30,615 You wanted payback. 281 00:11:30,651 --> 00:11:32,117 Exactamente! 282 00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:33,504 Payback... 283 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,021 So, did you give him my message? 284 00:11:36,056 --> 00:11:38,957 I made sure it was told. 285 00:11:42,013 --> 00:11:43,546 No more preguntas. 286 00:11:45,799 --> 00:11:46,732 Yoshi... 287 00:11:46,783 --> 00:11:47,783 _ 288 00:11:48,283 --> 00:11:50,298 _ 289 00:11:50,729 --> 00:11:52,627 _ 290 00:11:53,119 --> 00:11:54,119 _ 291 00:11:54,494 --> 00:11:55,494 _ 292 00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,877 _ 293 00:12:00,147 --> 00:12:01,413 All right. 294 00:12:01,448 --> 00:12:03,572 Um, Mr. Stanton... 295 00:12:03,650 --> 00:12:06,451 so you... you didn't tell Yoshi yourself? 296 00:12:06,487 --> 00:12:09,020 I told Coach Pompom to give him the word, 297 00:12:09,056 --> 00:12:11,456 then I watched Coach Pompom go over there and tell him. 298 00:12:11,492 --> 00:12:13,291 You watched him, but did you hear what he said? 299 00:12:13,327 --> 00:12:14,645 No. 300 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,929 Okay, so your testimony is that you don't really know anything. 301 00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:18,930 I assumed... 302 00:12:18,966 --> 00:12:20,432 Whoa, knowledge and assumptions, 303 00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:22,134 those are like Loggins and Messina. 304 00:12:22,169 --> 00:12:23,835 They seem similar, but time proves 305 00:12:23,871 --> 00:12:25,710 one of them to be completely worthless. 306 00:12:25,772 --> 00:12:26,933 Gentlemen, a moment. 307 00:12:26,966 --> 00:12:28,437 Probably just a misunderstanding. 308 00:12:28,442 --> 00:12:30,642 Yeah, Pompom must've called an audible 309 00:12:30,677 --> 00:12:32,644 and he didn't tell Yoshi to throw at anybody. 310 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:34,346 We just got to get Pompom to testify, 311 00:12:34,381 --> 00:12:35,747 and, boom, everybody's happy. 312 00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:38,357 Yeah, the only problem is Pompom ran out of here, 313 00:12:38,385 --> 00:12:39,401 and I have no idea where he is. 314 00:12:39,432 --> 00:12:41,386 Well, knowing Pompom, he's probably 315 00:12:41,422 --> 00:12:43,088 out doing something weirder than shit. 316 00:12:43,123 --> 00:12:44,656 All right, I'm gonna go try to find 317 00:12:44,691 --> 00:12:46,458 whatever rock he crawled under. 318 00:12:46,493 --> 00:12:47,592 Can you stall? 319 00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:49,428 Some would argue that's what I do for a living. 320 00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:55,801 You guys seen Pompom? Anybody? 321 00:12:55,836 --> 00:12:57,502 Guys? Have you seen Pompom? 322 00:12:57,538 --> 00:12:59,671 Julia James... How's my favorite owner? 323 00:12:59,706 --> 00:13:01,706 Uh, not great, Gary. Not great. 324 00:13:01,742 --> 00:13:03,442 Attendance was really light today, 325 00:13:03,477 --> 00:13:04,743 and now I see why. 326 00:13:04,778 --> 00:13:06,645 Can't compete with free money. 327 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,814 Yeah, we're just doing a little positive P.R. 328 00:13:08,849 --> 00:13:10,048 for Pennsylvania Shale. 329 00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:11,450 We got to coordinate on this kind of thing, though, 330 00:13:11,485 --> 00:13:13,885 'cause weekend ticket sales make my nut. 331 00:13:13,921 --> 00:13:14,986 Oh, sorry about that. 332 00:13:15,022 --> 00:13:16,421 This one came up kind of fast, you know? 333 00:13:16,457 --> 00:13:18,323 Two or three puppies were born without legs, 334 00:13:18,358 --> 00:13:19,925 and everybody plays the blame game. 335 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,794 That's really my job at Pennsylvania Shale, you know, to put out fires. 336 00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:25,363 Oh, you guys gonna finally put out that fire on Euclid Avenue? 337 00:13:25,399 --> 00:13:28,233 Metaphorical fires... The literal fire on Euclid 338 00:13:28,268 --> 00:13:31,116 will be burning long after we've left this earth. 339 00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:33,438 What the shit? 340 00:13:33,474 --> 00:13:34,673 There's one of these events scheduled 341 00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:36,007 for every Frackers home game. 342 00:13:36,043 --> 00:13:37,108 Hm. 343 00:13:37,144 --> 00:13:38,243 I don't have the schedule in front of me, 344 00:13:38,278 --> 00:13:39,778 so I'm gonna have to take your word on that. 345 00:13:39,813 --> 00:13:42,747 Jesus Christ, you goddamn piece of shit! 346 00:13:42,783 --> 00:13:44,749 Pennsylvania Shale's trying to ruin the season, 347 00:13:44,785 --> 00:13:46,084 and you're helping them! 348 00:13:46,119 --> 00:13:47,919 Jules, I'm not gonna lie to you. 349 00:13:50,591 --> 00:13:51,656 Hey, guess what! 350 00:13:51,692 --> 00:13:53,425 You don't know who you're messing with! 351 00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:57,262 I'm gonna Lucy them right in their asses! 352 00:13:57,297 --> 00:13:58,296 Pompom! 353 00:13:58,332 --> 00:14:00,232 - Hm? Hi, Ms. James. - We got to go. 354 00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:01,967 This way. 355 00:14:02,002 --> 00:14:03,935 - Yeah, let's hustle, okay? - All right. 356 00:14:03,971 --> 00:14:06,104 We don't want the kittens to come out of the basket. 357 00:14:06,139 --> 00:14:07,873 So, why did Hitler invade Russia 358 00:14:07,908 --> 00:14:10,475 and voluntarily start a war on two fronts? 359 00:14:10,511 --> 00:14:13,078 Well, he was still basically the same reckless man 360 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,942 from the Beer Hall Putsch in 1923. 361 00:14:14,989 --> 00:14:17,449 He let impatience overwhelm strategy. 362 00:14:17,484 --> 00:14:19,518 Oh, um, anywhoodles, the point is this. 363 00:14:19,553 --> 00:14:21,052 If you're gonna chew tobacco, 364 00:14:21,088 --> 00:14:23,522 don't let it get all over the floor. That's what Hitler would've done. 365 00:14:23,557 --> 00:14:26,525 Uh, quick side bar, then I'm gonna call my final witness. 366 00:14:28,629 --> 00:14:29,861 What? What's the matter with you? 367 00:14:29,897 --> 00:14:31,963 No, nothing... just Pennsylvania Shale's trying 368 00:14:31,999 --> 00:14:35,133 to destroy me, and also Gary's evil. 369 00:14:35,168 --> 00:14:37,302 So, go ahead and gloat. You were right about him. 370 00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:39,337 Oh, no, no, now, you think I'm the kind of guy 371 00:14:39,373 --> 00:14:40,672 that likes to say, "I told you so," 372 00:14:40,707 --> 00:14:41,840 but that's not true. 373 00:14:41,875 --> 00:14:43,875 I love to say it, and I will be doing so 374 00:14:43,911 --> 00:14:46,044 in the days and months ahead at random moments 375 00:14:46,079 --> 00:14:47,273 when you least expect it. 376 00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,214 We got 20 minutes till the next game. 377 00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:51,082 Can we wrap this up, please? 378 00:14:51,118 --> 00:14:52,751 - All right, a quick question... - Yeah. 379 00:14:52,786 --> 00:14:54,519 When you and Pompom were walking back, 380 00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,521 did you talk at all about how I told you so? 381 00:14:56,557 --> 00:14:58,557 And it begins. 382 00:14:58,592 --> 00:14:59,858 All right, I call Pompom. 383 00:15:01,328 --> 00:15:04,062 All right, Stanton has testified that he thought 384 00:15:04,097 --> 00:15:05,964 you told Yoshi to bean the pitcher. 385 00:15:05,999 --> 00:15:07,627 But what did you actually say? 386 00:15:07,737 --> 00:15:09,834 I told Yoshi to bean the pitcher. 387 00:15:09,870 --> 00:15:10,869 Mm. 388 00:15:10,904 --> 00:15:12,393 Then, I said if he didn't, 389 00:15:12,432 --> 00:15:14,674 he might permanently alienate his teammates. 390 00:15:14,744 --> 00:15:16,575 Now, I remember it well because there was 391 00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:19,210 a middle-aged woman slowly eating a corn dog 392 00:15:19,246 --> 00:15:21,780 in the stands behind him, and I filed the whole thing away 393 00:15:21,815 --> 00:15:23,014 in my spank bank. 394 00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:25,650 Compelling testimony. 395 00:15:25,686 --> 00:15:27,485 Look, he says that that conversation, 396 00:15:27,521 --> 00:15:28,587 it never happened. 397 00:15:28,622 --> 00:15:31,056 Well, then, Szechuan Sam is lying. 398 00:15:37,596 --> 00:15:39,062 Yoshi says that he refuses to play 399 00:15:39,098 --> 00:15:40,630 for any team that calls him a liar. 400 00:15:40,719 --> 00:15:42,601 _ 401 00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,609 _ 402 00:15:44,938 --> 00:15:46,414 _ 403 00:15:47,941 --> 00:15:50,008 - Yoshi, he quits. - Yoshi! Yoshi! 404 00:15:50,043 --> 00:15:51,576 Yoshi, we can work something out! 405 00:15:51,612 --> 00:15:53,244 Oh, boy. 406 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,046 Your best player leaving on the same day 407 00:15:55,082 --> 00:15:57,616 that a billion-dollar company declares war on you. 408 00:15:57,651 --> 00:15:59,884 That has got to be a kick in the kitty cat. 409 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,721 I think the important thing here is, though, that I helped. 410 00:16:02,756 --> 00:16:04,723 Why is that important? 411 00:16:04,758 --> 00:16:06,524 Because I didn't have to. 412 00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:11,755 I just don't get how Pompom and Yoshi can have 413 00:16:11,791 --> 00:16:14,327 such wildly different versions of the same exact conversation. 414 00:16:14,382 --> 00:16:16,660 I mean, it was just the two of them. 415 00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:19,496 Wait, the... The three of them, 416 00:16:19,585 --> 00:16:21,452 because the translator had to be there, right? 417 00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:26,469 Oh! 418 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,242 Oh, shit! Wait. 419 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,844 Did I just solve it? 420 00:16:29,946 --> 00:16:31,379 I think that you did, yeah. 421 00:16:31,414 --> 00:16:33,348 I knew it. I knew I solved it. 422 00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,750 Look at me on my "Law & Order: SVU" type shit. 423 00:16:35,785 --> 00:16:37,218 Just set me up, and I knocked it out like, 424 00:16:37,253 --> 00:16:39,854 - "These are their stories." - Yeah, very nice. 425 00:16:39,889 --> 00:16:41,723 But for the record, when I tell this story, 426 00:16:41,758 --> 00:16:43,091 I'm gonna be the one that solves it. 427 00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:45,445 It's just it's gonna flow better that way. 428 00:16:45,516 --> 00:16:48,129 Hey, hey, cut the bull... Hey! Cut the bullshit. 429 00:16:48,164 --> 00:16:51,933 Why are you trying to take away Yoshi's last chance? 430 00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,701 I had to get him to quit. 431 00:16:53,737 --> 00:16:55,670 I cannot live here. 432 00:16:55,705 --> 00:16:59,707 Just 10 minutes ago, I saw a child who was so fat 433 00:16:59,743 --> 00:17:02,010 that he could not get up off his back. 434 00:17:02,045 --> 00:17:03,745 H-He look like a-a tortoise. 435 00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:05,847 Holy shit, is that kid still there? 436 00:17:05,882 --> 00:17:07,248 Oh, yeah. 437 00:17:07,283 --> 00:17:09,550 You didn't try to help him up either, huh? 438 00:17:09,586 --> 00:17:11,853 Oh, no, ugh. H-He looked very sticky. 439 00:17:11,888 --> 00:17:13,955 Hai, hai. 440 00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:15,657 - Among other things. - _ 441 00:17:17,627 --> 00:17:21,262 Look, I know you feel the same as I do about this town. 442 00:17:21,297 --> 00:17:23,264 Every game, I listen to you get drunk 443 00:17:23,299 --> 00:17:25,299 to deal with the reality that you are trapped 444 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:26,634 here in this place. 445 00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:29,303 No, no, I just have a drinking problem, friend. 446 00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:32,073 But you're not wrong. This town is... 447 00:17:32,108 --> 00:17:33,875 a gaping shit hole. 448 00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:34,976 So... 449 00:17:35,011 --> 00:17:37,845 So, why do you care what happens here? 450 00:17:39,616 --> 00:17:42,016 And that was the moment that I realized that I cared. 451 00:17:42,052 --> 00:17:43,084 Why did I care? 452 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:44,752 Because I was finally part of a team. 453 00:17:44,788 --> 00:17:46,788 I didn't mean to join it, but, you know, 454 00:17:46,823 --> 00:17:48,756 when you care about one person, then you start to care 455 00:17:48,792 --> 00:17:51,125 about who they care about, and on and on that goes 456 00:17:51,161 --> 00:17:53,461 until you look around one day and you realize 457 00:17:53,496 --> 00:17:56,030 that there's a group of people you'd actually fight for, 458 00:17:56,066 --> 00:17:57,865 and that goes for everybody in this room. 459 00:17:57,901 --> 00:17:59,333 We are all part of a team. 460 00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:02,236 Look, I live my life very selfishly. 461 00:18:02,272 --> 00:18:04,205 The last teammate I had, I betrayed him. 462 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,416 Why? 463 00:18:05,463 --> 00:18:08,643 Because of ambition and my own very narrow-minded views on sex. 464 00:18:08,678 --> 00:18:10,878 But with age and experience, I've come to realize, fellas, 465 00:18:10,914 --> 00:18:12,780 that sexuality is... 466 00:18:12,816 --> 00:18:14,048 Well, it's really more of a spectrum. 467 00:18:14,084 --> 00:18:15,683 Yes, it is. No, it is. 468 00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,685 Guys, one time when I was in Estonia... 469 00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,454 No, no, no, just stay with me on this. 470 00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:22,056 I was hiking through the forest, and I came upon 471 00:18:22,092 --> 00:18:24,926 what must've been a cruising spot for gay men. 472 00:18:24,961 --> 00:18:26,594 In the center of this clearing was 473 00:18:26,629 --> 00:18:27,762 what could best be described as... 474 00:18:27,797 --> 00:18:29,330 Well, it was a stump... 475 00:18:29,365 --> 00:18:32,533 Ohh! ... worn smooth from years of casual anonymous encounters. 476 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:35,336 - That is enough of that! - Guys... guys after guys... 477 00:18:35,371 --> 00:18:37,638 All right, we are already 10 minutes late for warm ups. 478 00:18:37,674 --> 00:18:38,973 Let's get on the field! 479 00:18:43,146 --> 00:18:47,181 Let's go! Come on now! 480 00:18:47,217 --> 00:18:50,485 Yoshi, my friend, are you joining us? 481 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,253 Ah. 482 00:18:52,412 --> 00:18:53,638 _ 483 00:18:53,897 --> 00:18:56,451 _ 484 00:18:57,081 --> 00:18:59,729 _ 485 00:19:00,354 --> 00:19:05,960 _ 486 00:19:07,837 --> 00:19:09,670 - Yeah, he's real happy to be here. - Ah! 487 00:19:09,706 --> 00:19:11,372 Look, the truth is I speak Japanese 488 00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:12,940 at a third-grade level, so you're gonna have 489 00:19:12,976 --> 00:19:14,575 - to get somebody else to translate. - That's okay. 490 00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,911 I am just so glad something finally broke 491 00:19:16,946 --> 00:19:18,379 my way today and everything got resolved. 492 00:19:18,414 --> 00:19:21,011 - All right. - No, no, no, no, Miss Jules. 493 00:19:21,066 --> 00:19:23,518 Mnh-mnh. 494 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:24,886 What can I do for you, my friend? 495 00:19:24,921 --> 00:19:28,589 I still don't have payback for the Summerville pitcher. 496 00:19:31,261 --> 00:19:33,928 I actually have an idea about that. 497 00:19:37,767 --> 00:19:40,334 Now, your mom didn't say it was an emergency exactly, 498 00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:42,570 but it did sound kind of important. 499 00:19:42,605 --> 00:19:45,072 So, just go straight back there. You'll see a phone. 500 00:19:45,108 --> 00:19:46,974 Straight back. Keep going. 501 00:19:48,111 --> 00:19:50,044 Yoshi Takatsu? I am a big fan. 502 00:19:50,079 --> 00:19:51,789 Whoa! 503 00:19:52,867 --> 00:19:53,648 - Charles. - Mm-hmm? 504 00:19:53,683 --> 00:19:56,350 I just want to say I'm sorry if I went a little overboard 505 00:19:56,386 --> 00:19:58,419 on all of that gay stuff, you know? 506 00:19:58,454 --> 00:20:01,792 The truth is everybody in your generation seems gay to me. 507 00:20:01,823 --> 00:20:03,651 But I want you to know... 508 00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:04,789 Ooh! 509 00:20:04,794 --> 00:20:06,994 - I want you to know, Charles... - Hm? 510 00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,931 ... that whatever you become, I think it's gonna be really special. 511 00:20:09,966 --> 00:20:11,599 You know why? 'Cause you're smart 512 00:20:11,634 --> 00:20:13,201 - and you don't take any shit, son... - Hey, whoa! 513 00:20:13,236 --> 00:20:15,136 ... and that's exactly what you need to navigate 514 00:20:15,185 --> 00:20:17,084 the cold chaos of this world. 515 00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:18,366 Aah! 516 00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,241 Aaah! 517 00:20:20,276 --> 00:20:21,876 T-Thank you. 518 00:20:21,911 --> 00:20:23,211 You're killing me! 519 00:20:23,246 --> 00:20:25,112 Thank you! 520 00:20:25,148 --> 00:20:27,348 - "Ooshi," no! - We should... We should... Let's... 521 00:20:27,383 --> 00:20:30,418 Let's... Yeah. Let's get out of here. Hurry up. 522 00:20:30,453 --> 00:20:34,155 You know, this whole thing has showed me that you and I, 523 00:20:34,190 --> 00:20:36,190 w-we're kind of a team, too. 524 00:20:36,226 --> 00:20:37,758 We're kind of like... 525 00:20:37,794 --> 00:20:40,862 We're kind of like boyfriend and girlfriend. 526 00:20:40,897 --> 00:20:42,730 Yeah, I know, Jim. 527 00:20:42,765 --> 00:20:44,932 - You do? - Mm-hmm. 528 00:20:44,968 --> 00:20:46,601 How long have you known that? 529 00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,536 Mm... 530 00:20:48,571 --> 00:20:50,238 when I stopped paying for your hotel room 531 00:20:50,273 --> 00:20:53,074 'cause you were sleeping at my apartment every night. 532 00:20:53,109 --> 00:20:55,710 So, wait. A-Are we living together? 533 00:20:56,779 --> 00:20:59,180 If it offends your delicate sensibilities, 534 00:20:59,215 --> 00:21:01,682 you can tell yourself you're squatting. 535 00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:03,184 I need a beer. 536 00:21:03,219 --> 00:21:04,852 - I'll grab you one. - No, that's all right. 537 00:21:04,888 --> 00:21:05,820 Dale! 538 00:21:14,597 --> 00:21:16,030 Goddamn, you are beautiful. 539 00:21:25,308 --> 00:21:27,290 Lucy? 540 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:31,436 Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for - www.addic7ed.com - 39210

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