Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,675 --> 00:00:03,977
"Fun fact, Butterman is"...
That's not a fun fact.
2
00:00:04,013 --> 00:00:05,307
Jenny, we got to watch these cards.
3
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:06,433
Sip.
4
00:00:09,118 --> 00:00:10,350
Yeah?
5
00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:12,186
We need to talk.
6
00:00:13,255 --> 00:00:15,155
Um, all right.
7
00:00:15,191 --> 00:00:17,057
Let's, uh, take a quick break.
8
00:00:17,092 --> 00:00:18,559
Give us the room, please, ladies.
9
00:00:23,432 --> 00:00:24,932
No, I don't want one.
10
00:00:24,967 --> 00:00:27,468
Uh, if we're about to have the
conversation I think we are,
11
00:00:27,503 --> 00:00:28,402
you're gonna want one.
12
00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:29,910
So, you've seen the pictures?
13
00:00:29,980 --> 00:00:30,855
I have not.
14
00:00:30,949 --> 00:00:33,132
Look, they're blowing
it out of proportion.
15
00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:35,300
It was just a Halloween costume.
16
00:00:35,362 --> 00:00:38,065
Six years broadcasting
with you in this booth
17
00:00:38,199 --> 00:00:39,365
and they want to kick me to the curb
18
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:40,948
over some goofy pictures?
19
00:00:41,602 --> 00:00:42,768
"Goofy pictures"?
20
00:00:42,803 --> 00:00:44,470
You're in goddamn lingerie
21
00:00:44,505 --> 00:00:46,038
kissing a woman dressed as a man.
22
00:00:46,073 --> 00:00:47,773
Robbie, that's Kansas City out there,
23
00:00:47,808 --> 00:00:49,942
not "Caba-goddamn-ret."
24
00:00:49,977 --> 00:00:51,310
So, you have seen them?
25
00:00:51,345 --> 00:00:53,012
Well, of course I've seen
them. Everybody's seen them.
26
00:00:53,047 --> 00:00:55,481
And why'd you have to be so
goddamn attractive in them,
27
00:00:55,516 --> 00:00:57,483
especially after 9/11?
28
00:00:57,518 --> 00:00:59,285
What's 9/11 have to do with anything?
29
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,321
9/11 has to do with everything.
People are still fragile.
30
00:01:02,356 --> 00:01:04,156
They can't handle the confusing feelings
31
00:01:04,192 --> 00:01:06,792
brought on by the combination
of your delicate features
32
00:01:06,827 --> 00:01:08,093
and muscular build.
33
00:01:08,129 --> 00:01:09,929
I know I couldn't.
34
00:01:09,964 --> 00:01:12,131
Look, I'm swallowing my pride,
35
00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:13,999
and I'm asking you for help.
36
00:01:14,035 --> 00:01:16,402
Because... frankly,
37
00:01:16,437 --> 00:01:18,871
you have an insane amount of power.
38
00:01:18,906 --> 00:01:22,341
And with one word, you can save me.
39
00:01:22,376 --> 00:01:23,576
Come on, Jim.
40
00:01:23,611 --> 00:01:25,511
A broadcast team is still a team.
41
00:01:26,914 --> 00:01:28,280
Look, Robbie, you're
too late, all right?
42
00:01:28,316 --> 00:01:30,616
It's already been done.
43
00:01:31,819 --> 00:01:35,187
Who's my replacement?
44
00:01:35,223 --> 00:01:37,923
Well you're looking at him.
45
00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,025
Robbie, they offered me a one-man booth.
46
00:01:40,061 --> 00:01:41,441
I mean, can you believe it?
47
00:01:41,465 --> 00:01:43,395
I mean, Red Barber, Vince Scully,
48
00:01:43,431 --> 00:01:44,763
and now Jim Brockmire.
49
00:01:44,799 --> 00:01:47,066
I just... I can't get over it.
50
00:01:47,101 --> 00:01:50,035
Look, friend, this'll
all blow over soon.
51
00:01:50,071 --> 00:01:51,337
You'll be fine.
52
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:52,638
Few years from now, they're
gonna invite you back
53
00:01:52,673 --> 00:01:53,772
for Old Timers Day.
54
00:01:53,808 --> 00:01:56,208
It'll be like none
of this ever happened.
55
00:01:56,244 --> 00:01:58,544
Look, I-I just... I want to
thank you for everything...
56
00:01:58,579 --> 00:02:00,898
Vince Scully is a legend.
57
00:02:01,649 --> 00:02:04,831
You're a deep voice in a cheap suit.
58
00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,720
People will learn that eventually.
59
00:02:07,755 --> 00:02:11,257
The real you is too
ugly to hide forever.
60
00:02:20,701 --> 00:02:21,923
Now, just relax.
61
00:02:21,977 --> 00:02:24,737
The break between a double header
is the best time in baseball.
62
00:02:24,772 --> 00:02:27,006
It's that perfect blend of postgame high
63
00:02:27,041 --> 00:02:28,207
and pregame jitters.
64
00:02:28,242 --> 00:02:30,476
It's known as the
broadcaster's speed ball.
65
00:02:30,511 --> 00:02:33,579
Okay, the only thing dumber
66
00:02:33,614 --> 00:02:35,814
than playing two
boring-ass baseball games
67
00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:37,750
in one day is putting a two-hour delay
68
00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:39,251
in between the boring-ass games.
69
00:02:39,287 --> 00:02:41,687
You just have to use the time
70
00:02:41,722 --> 00:02:44,123
to contemplate the more
important things in life,
71
00:02:44,158 --> 00:02:46,091
like rye whisky, for example.
72
00:02:46,127 --> 00:02:48,227
This is the first American...
Hey, pay attention.
73
00:02:48,262 --> 00:02:50,496
... first American booze
made by the colonists
74
00:02:50,531 --> 00:02:53,299
when rum started to become scarce.
75
00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:55,601
Rye whisky has a quiet dignity about it.
76
00:02:55,636 --> 00:02:57,469
Please, stop. Stop it.
77
00:02:57,505 --> 00:03:00,406
I watch you get drunk all day every day.
78
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:03,942
Yeah, I just can't bear
to hear you describe it.
79
00:03:03,978 --> 00:03:08,147
Can we maybe try to have a conversation?
80
00:03:08,182 --> 00:03:09,782
Okay.
81
00:03:09,817 --> 00:03:12,351
Um, well, do you have
any questions for me?
82
00:03:12,386 --> 00:03:14,653
No. I already know everything about you.
83
00:03:14,689 --> 00:03:17,323
You've literally never asked
me a question about myself.
84
00:03:17,358 --> 00:03:18,891
Oh, come on. That's not true.
85
00:03:18,926 --> 00:03:21,293
Just yesterday I asked you...
86
00:03:21,329 --> 00:03:23,629
I asked you if my breath
still smelled like vomit.
87
00:03:23,664 --> 00:03:25,364
All right, no, point taken. Point taken.
88
00:03:27,128 --> 00:03:30,762
_
89
00:03:32,557 --> 00:03:36,006
_
90
00:03:38,014 --> 00:03:39,725
_
91
00:03:39,796 --> 00:03:40,796
_
92
00:03:40,981 --> 00:03:42,181
Hey.
93
00:03:42,216 --> 00:03:43,549
Make sure and translate
what I'm about to say.
94
00:03:43,584 --> 00:03:45,217
- It's important.
- For the last time,
95
00:03:45,252 --> 00:03:46,885
I am not his translator.
96
00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:49,788
I am a reporter... hm...
Assigned to cover him.
97
00:03:49,824 --> 00:03:51,890
Whatever, man. Just
help me out here, okay?
98
00:03:51,926 --> 00:03:54,693
- Fine, fine, fine.
- Hey, yo, listen up!
99
00:03:56,597 --> 00:03:58,297
Hey, since we got to kill sometime today
100
00:03:58,332 --> 00:04:00,265
before the second game
of the double header,
101
00:04:00,301 --> 00:04:02,201
I thought we should do
our first kangaroo court
102
00:04:02,236 --> 00:04:03,402
of the year, baby.
103
00:04:05,239 --> 00:04:07,906
This is for the new guys.
This is how the Frackers do it.
104
00:04:07,942 --> 00:04:09,641
You accuse someone of an offense.
105
00:04:09,677 --> 00:04:12,144
They argue their case, and then we vote.
106
00:04:12,179 --> 00:04:14,179
Hey. You getting all this?
107
00:04:14,215 --> 00:04:15,948
Uh, yes, yes. Hey, Yoshi.
108
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:19,760
_
109
00:04:20,588 --> 00:04:22,020
- Ah?
- "Ah."
110
00:04:22,056 --> 00:04:23,288
Exactly.
111
00:04:23,324 --> 00:04:26,291
If they are guilty, they
pay the fine into the kitty.
112
00:04:26,327 --> 00:04:29,595
Now, remember, the kitty is for the beer
113
00:04:29,630 --> 00:04:32,965
and the porn website
passwords we share, so pay up!
114
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,533
Pay up!
115
00:04:34,568 --> 00:04:35,801
Hey, who wants to start?
116
00:04:35,836 --> 00:04:37,703
- Me! Me!
- Right here! Right here!
117
00:04:37,738 --> 00:04:40,706
Hey, hey!
118
00:04:40,741 --> 00:04:43,108
Elton missed a bunt sign last week.
119
00:04:43,144 --> 00:04:45,511
- Ooh!
- A-At Slippery Rock?
120
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,012
I thought Coach gave me the swing away.
121
00:04:48,015 --> 00:04:49,047
Hey, what says the room?
122
00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:50,883
Guilty!
123
00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:53,419
Hey! I'd like to accuse Elton again.
124
00:04:53,454 --> 00:04:54,853
What's the offense?
125
00:04:54,889 --> 00:04:57,156
Just, like, being a whiny little bitch.
126
00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:01,193
What are you guys even talking about?!
127
00:05:01,228 --> 00:05:03,462
Guilty!
128
00:05:03,497 --> 00:05:05,998
- Guilty!
- I have someone.
129
00:05:06,033 --> 00:05:08,600
I accuse el hijo de la porra, "Ooshi."
130
00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:18,033
"Unchi da."
131
00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:20,078
"It's Yoshi."
132
00:05:20,114 --> 00:05:21,046
"Unchi."
133
00:05:24,174 --> 00:05:27,175
- Ooh.
- Oh.
134
00:05:27,555 --> 00:05:28,787
Oh!
135
00:05:28,823 --> 00:05:31,290
- I know what I always meant to ask you.
- Okay.
136
00:05:31,325 --> 00:05:33,358
Why do you work for a baseball team
137
00:05:33,394 --> 00:05:37,162
when you are so defiantly
ignorant about the game?
138
00:05:37,198 --> 00:05:39,765
This team is the only thing
that makes our town special.
139
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,301
I plan on getting some experience here,
140
00:05:42,336 --> 00:05:46,638
then moving to New York
to finally start my life.
141
00:05:46,674 --> 00:05:48,507
Sounds like a decent plan for you.
142
00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:49,942
You'd probably do pretty well in Chelsea
143
00:05:49,977 --> 00:05:51,944
if you just bulk up a little bit.
144
00:05:51,979 --> 00:05:53,745
You know, 'cause right now
you got the delicate frame
145
00:05:53,781 --> 00:05:56,548
of a twink, but you don't
quite have the temperament.
146
00:05:58,252 --> 00:05:59,868
Um...
147
00:06:00,888 --> 00:06:02,288
What?
148
00:06:03,057 --> 00:06:05,190
I say you have the
delicate frame of a twink...
149
00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:07,392
No, I-I heard you.
150
00:06:07,428 --> 00:06:10,062
I just...
151
00:06:10,097 --> 00:06:13,699
I'm not gay, Brockmire.
152
00:06:13,734 --> 00:06:16,674
And why would you think that I am?
153
00:06:17,171 --> 00:06:18,704
'Cause I never seen you with a girl,
154
00:06:18,739 --> 00:06:20,372
you're uncomfortable in your own skin,
155
00:06:20,407 --> 00:06:22,741
and you tend to hug the
walls when you're in public.
156
00:06:22,776 --> 00:06:25,744
See, what you just described
is a socially awkward nerd.
157
00:06:25,779 --> 00:06:28,247
That's who I am.
158
00:06:28,282 --> 00:06:31,383
I panic around girls and crowds
159
00:06:31,418 --> 00:06:33,719
and people I don't know.
160
00:06:33,754 --> 00:06:35,387
All right, but I also used your computer
161
00:06:35,422 --> 00:06:37,422
to look up some naked
photos of Ann-Margret...
162
00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:39,091
- Okay, wow!
- ... and I discovered
163
00:06:39,126 --> 00:06:41,860
what you called your
"inspiration" folder,
164
00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:43,662
which is really just a bunch of pictures
165
00:06:43,697 --> 00:06:46,832
of handsome men in
various states of dress.
166
00:06:46,867 --> 00:06:53,205
What you found was my
fashion inspiration folder.
167
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,640
Okay, did you wonder
168
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:58,877
why 90% of those photos
were just of shoes?
169
00:06:58,913 --> 00:07:01,580
I just figured that was some
kind of a gay black thing.
170
00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:04,917
I need your language skills.
171
00:07:04,952 --> 00:07:06,351
Locker room is about to explode.
172
00:07:06,387 --> 00:07:08,520
I mean, they were speaking
Japanese and Spanish so fast
173
00:07:08,556 --> 00:07:09,922
I could barely understand
what they were saying.
174
00:07:09,957 --> 00:07:11,823
I've seen my fair share
of kangaroo courts,
175
00:07:11,859 --> 00:07:13,158
but I've never seen anything like this.
176
00:07:13,193 --> 00:07:14,426
It's all gonna be fine.
177
00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:16,495
It's just the locker room's
way of cleansing itself.
178
00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:18,397
It all gets worked out...
179
00:07:21,969 --> 00:07:22,901
Yep.
180
00:07:32,455 --> 00:07:34,955
Whoa! Whoa!
181
00:07:35,002 --> 00:07:37,390
Please, just tranquillo, all right?
182
00:07:37,461 --> 00:07:40,095
And you guys, uh...
183
00:07:40,131 --> 00:07:42,464
Nobody do anything.
184
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:44,333
All right, so, here's the deal.
185
00:07:44,368 --> 00:07:47,736
Um, the Latin players
all have Uribe's back,
186
00:07:47,772 --> 00:07:49,738
but the pitchers all support Yoshi.
187
00:07:49,774 --> 00:07:51,373
All right, but this is
okay. This is just...
188
00:07:51,409 --> 00:07:53,175
This is the way the locker
room cleanses itself.
189
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:54,176
Oh, no, no, no.
190
00:07:54,211 --> 00:07:55,544
No matter how this thing shakes out,
191
00:07:55,579 --> 00:07:58,080
one half of this locker room is
not gonna play with the other,
192
00:07:58,115 --> 00:08:00,716
so, no, this is a doozy of
a pickle of a shit storm.
193
00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:02,551
Anyhoos, best of luck to you.
194
00:08:02,586 --> 00:08:03,952
Wait a minute.
195
00:08:03,988 --> 00:08:06,188
For some reason, our attendance
is back in the crapper.
196
00:08:06,223 --> 00:08:08,424
We can't alienate the
rest of the fans we have
197
00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:09,391
by canceling the second game.
198
00:08:09,427 --> 00:08:10,492
You have to fix this.
199
00:08:10,528 --> 00:08:12,194
I do? Me? Why me?
200
00:08:12,229 --> 00:08:14,029
I-I'm the P.A. announcer.
201
00:08:14,065 --> 00:08:17,166
'Cause nobody else in town speaks both
Spanish and Japanese, and you know,
202
00:08:17,201 --> 00:08:19,168
Yoshi's translator's
gotten really uppity lately.
203
00:08:19,203 --> 00:08:21,670
You know, I know I could
help, but why would I?
204
00:08:21,706 --> 00:08:24,073
Hey, that... No, that's
your team, not mine.
205
00:08:24,108 --> 00:08:26,108
You have something better to do?
206
00:08:26,143 --> 00:08:26,818
I do, actually.
207
00:08:26,850 --> 00:08:28,541
- I was "pontifidrinking"... Right now?
- You have somewhere to be?
208
00:08:28,546 --> 00:08:30,879
- Okay, how about you help me...
- which is a portmanteau of "pontificating"
209
00:08:30,915 --> 00:08:32,915
... because last night
when you knocked on my door
210
00:08:32,950 --> 00:08:34,750
at 3:00 in the morning high on speed
211
00:08:34,785 --> 00:08:35,984
begging me to be your girlfriend...
212
00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:37,686
Whoa, whoa, hey.
213
00:08:37,722 --> 00:08:40,489
Just because I don't want
to wear a condom anymore
214
00:08:40,524 --> 00:08:42,458
does not make me your boyfriend.
215
00:08:42,493 --> 00:08:44,827
There was an implicit agreement
that you would give back
216
00:08:44,862 --> 00:08:46,762
- as much as I'm giving.
- What are you talking about?
217
00:08:46,797 --> 00:08:48,630
I've been going down
on you so much lately
218
00:08:48,666 --> 00:08:50,566
I put your pussy down
as my forwarding address.
219
00:08:50,601 --> 00:08:52,234
I'm not talking about
giving back sexually,
220
00:08:52,269 --> 00:08:54,403
because that should just stay
the same or increase if possible.
221
00:08:54,438 --> 00:08:56,705
I'm talking about a favor.
222
00:08:56,741 --> 00:08:59,341
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
223
00:09:00,945 --> 00:09:02,711
I'm gonna bring Jim in.
224
00:09:02,747 --> 00:09:04,713
He's gonna help us figure this out. Jim?
225
00:09:06,518 --> 00:09:08,250
All right, look...
226
00:09:08,285 --> 00:09:09,451
We all want justice here.
227
00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:12,554
Justice will be if the
richest guy on the team
228
00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,757
pays a $100 fine.
229
00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:16,525
[Players shouting indistinctly
230
00:09:20,331 --> 00:09:21,797
"If you're looking to blame somebody"
231
00:09:21,832 --> 00:09:23,432
for your injuries, perhaps
you should not stand
232
00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:24,900
"so close on top of the plate."
233
00:09:26,637 --> 00:09:28,070
"You penis biter."
234
00:09:30,474 --> 00:09:31,373
Whoa!
235
00:09:31,408 --> 00:09:32,808
Guys.
236
00:09:32,843 --> 00:09:34,176
Look, it's obvious that some kind
237
00:09:34,211 --> 00:09:37,312
of a bush-league kangaroo
court is not gonna settle this.
238
00:09:37,348 --> 00:09:40,482
So, instead we're gonna do a
Major League kangaroo court.
239
00:09:40,518 --> 00:09:42,351
That's actually not
a bad idea. All right.
240
00:09:42,386 --> 00:09:45,053
Major League kangaroo court...
So, that means evidence,
241
00:09:45,089 --> 00:09:46,855
witnesses, the whole shebang.
242
00:09:46,891 --> 00:09:49,825
Now, Uribe's gonna be
the prosecutor, all right?
243
00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:52,661
I will be the defense attorney.
244
00:09:52,696 --> 00:09:55,030
Now, we need a judge...
Somebody who is impartial
245
00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:57,533
who's not caught up in
all of this baseball drama.
246
00:09:57,568 --> 00:09:59,434
Yo, Drake and Taylor Swift are dating!
247
00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:01,003
Albums, y'all!
248
00:10:02,506 --> 00:10:03,639
What's going on?
249
00:10:06,723 --> 00:10:09,855
What is this trial even about, though?
250
00:10:09,926 --> 00:10:12,312
Uribe wanted Yoshi to throw a pitch
251
00:10:12,383 --> 00:10:14,680
and hit a batter on the other team.
252
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,398
Oh.
253
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,384
Well, that's easy. Uribe's guilty.
254
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,685
- Mnh, no.
- No.
255
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,126
That's a... That's a
standard baseball request.
256
00:10:23,173 --> 00:10:25,290
Yoshi's on trial 'cause he didn't do it.
257
00:10:28,422 --> 00:10:31,089
Baseball is a up sport,
and I want you to know it.
258
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,424
Hey.
259
00:10:32,459 --> 00:10:34,426
Every...
260
00:10:34,461 --> 00:10:36,428
Everyone.
261
00:10:36,463 --> 00:10:39,064
Um, uh, Mr. Uribe,
262
00:10:39,099 --> 00:10:41,800
do you have any
evidence you'd like to...
263
00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:45,404
Oh, sí.
264
00:10:52,212 --> 00:10:54,546
- Oh!
- Ooh.
265
00:10:56,350 --> 00:10:58,617
Oh, damn.
266
00:10:58,652 --> 00:10:59,951
Okay.
267
00:10:59,987 --> 00:11:01,253
Okay.
268
00:11:01,288 --> 00:11:04,756
"Rawlings" is spelled out
backwards inside the bruise.
269
00:11:04,792 --> 00:11:06,491
Yep, that's a baseball right there.
270
00:11:06,527 --> 00:11:07,592
That's horrifying.
271
00:11:07,628 --> 00:11:10,235
Sí. Verdad.
272
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:14,066
I call my witness...
273
00:11:14,101 --> 00:11:17,269
Ryan Stanton.
274
00:11:17,304 --> 00:11:19,104
Mr. Stanton,
275
00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:20,572
What did I tell you
276
00:11:20,607 --> 00:11:23,175
after ratreria's pitch hit Uribe?
277
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:25,186
You told me to tell Yoshi to hurt him...
278
00:11:25,311 --> 00:11:27,061
Then some Dominican gibberish.
279
00:11:27,139 --> 00:11:29,247
- But you understood what I meant.
- Yeah.
280
00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:30,615
You wanted payback.
281
00:11:30,651 --> 00:11:32,117
Exactamente!
282
00:11:32,152 --> 00:11:33,504
Payback...
283
00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,021
So, did you give him my message?
284
00:11:36,056 --> 00:11:38,957
I made sure it was told.
285
00:11:42,013 --> 00:11:43,546
No more preguntas.
286
00:11:45,799 --> 00:11:46,732
Yoshi...
287
00:11:46,783 --> 00:11:47,783
_
288
00:11:48,283 --> 00:11:50,298
_
289
00:11:50,729 --> 00:11:52,627
_
290
00:11:53,119 --> 00:11:54,119
_
291
00:11:54,494 --> 00:11:55,494
_
292
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,877
_
293
00:12:00,147 --> 00:12:01,413
All right.
294
00:12:01,448 --> 00:12:03,572
Um, Mr. Stanton...
295
00:12:03,650 --> 00:12:06,451
so you... you didn't
tell Yoshi yourself?
296
00:12:06,487 --> 00:12:09,020
I told Coach Pompom
to give him the word,
297
00:12:09,056 --> 00:12:11,456
then I watched Coach Pompom
go over there and tell him.
298
00:12:11,492 --> 00:12:13,291
You watched him, but did
you hear what he said?
299
00:12:13,327 --> 00:12:14,645
No.
300
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,929
Okay, so your testimony is that
you don't really know anything.
301
00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:18,930
I assumed...
302
00:12:18,966 --> 00:12:20,432
Whoa, knowledge and assumptions,
303
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:22,134
those are like Loggins and Messina.
304
00:12:22,169 --> 00:12:23,835
They seem similar, but time proves
305
00:12:23,871 --> 00:12:25,710
one of them to be completely worthless.
306
00:12:25,772 --> 00:12:26,933
Gentlemen, a moment.
307
00:12:26,966 --> 00:12:28,437
Probably just a misunderstanding.
308
00:12:28,442 --> 00:12:30,642
Yeah, Pompom must've called an audible
309
00:12:30,677 --> 00:12:32,644
and he didn't tell Yoshi
to throw at anybody.
310
00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:34,346
We just got to get Pompom to testify,
311
00:12:34,381 --> 00:12:35,747
and, boom, everybody's happy.
312
00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:38,357
Yeah, the only problem
is Pompom ran out of here,
313
00:12:38,385 --> 00:12:39,401
and I have no idea where he is.
314
00:12:39,432 --> 00:12:41,386
Well, knowing Pompom, he's probably
315
00:12:41,422 --> 00:12:43,088
out doing something weirder than shit.
316
00:12:43,123 --> 00:12:44,656
All right, I'm gonna go try to find
317
00:12:44,691 --> 00:12:46,458
whatever rock he crawled under.
318
00:12:46,493 --> 00:12:47,592
Can you stall?
319
00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:49,428
Some would argue that's
what I do for a living.
320
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:55,801
You guys seen Pompom? Anybody?
321
00:12:55,836 --> 00:12:57,502
Guys? Have you seen Pompom?
322
00:12:57,538 --> 00:12:59,671
Julia James... How's my favorite owner?
323
00:12:59,706 --> 00:13:01,706
Uh, not great, Gary. Not great.
324
00:13:01,742 --> 00:13:03,442
Attendance was really light today,
325
00:13:03,477 --> 00:13:04,743
and now I see why.
326
00:13:04,778 --> 00:13:06,645
Can't compete with free money.
327
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,814
Yeah, we're just doing
a little positive P.R.
328
00:13:08,849 --> 00:13:10,048
for Pennsylvania Shale.
329
00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:11,450
We got to coordinate on
this kind of thing, though,
330
00:13:11,485 --> 00:13:13,885
'cause weekend ticket sales make my nut.
331
00:13:13,921 --> 00:13:14,986
Oh, sorry about that.
332
00:13:15,022 --> 00:13:16,421
This one came up kind of fast, you know?
333
00:13:16,457 --> 00:13:18,323
Two or three puppies
were born without legs,
334
00:13:18,358 --> 00:13:19,925
and everybody plays the blame game.
335
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,794
That's really my job at Pennsylvania
Shale, you know, to put out fires.
336
00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:25,363
Oh, you guys gonna finally put
out that fire on Euclid Avenue?
337
00:13:25,399 --> 00:13:28,233
Metaphorical fires...
The literal fire on Euclid
338
00:13:28,268 --> 00:13:31,116
will be burning long after
we've left this earth.
339
00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:33,438
What the shit?
340
00:13:33,474 --> 00:13:34,673
There's one of these events scheduled
341
00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:36,007
for every Frackers home game.
342
00:13:36,043 --> 00:13:37,108
Hm.
343
00:13:37,144 --> 00:13:38,243
I don't have the
schedule in front of me,
344
00:13:38,278 --> 00:13:39,778
so I'm gonna have to
take your word on that.
345
00:13:39,813 --> 00:13:42,747
Jesus Christ, you goddamn piece of shit!
346
00:13:42,783 --> 00:13:44,749
Pennsylvania Shale's
trying to ruin the season,
347
00:13:44,785 --> 00:13:46,084
and you're helping them!
348
00:13:46,119 --> 00:13:47,919
Jules, I'm not gonna lie to you.
349
00:13:50,591 --> 00:13:51,656
Hey, guess what!
350
00:13:51,692 --> 00:13:53,425
You don't know who you're messing with!
351
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:57,262
I'm gonna Lucy them
right in their asses!
352
00:13:57,297 --> 00:13:58,296
Pompom!
353
00:13:58,332 --> 00:14:00,232
- Hm? Hi, Ms. James.
- We got to go.
354
00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:01,967
This way.
355
00:14:02,002 --> 00:14:03,935
- Yeah, let's hustle, okay?
- All right.
356
00:14:03,971 --> 00:14:06,104
We don't want the kittens
to come out of the basket.
357
00:14:06,139 --> 00:14:07,873
So, why did Hitler invade Russia
358
00:14:07,908 --> 00:14:10,475
and voluntarily start
a war on two fronts?
359
00:14:10,511 --> 00:14:13,078
Well, he was still basically
the same reckless man
360
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,942
from the Beer Hall Putsch in 1923.
361
00:14:14,989 --> 00:14:17,449
He let impatience overwhelm strategy.
362
00:14:17,484 --> 00:14:19,518
Oh, um, anywhoodles, the point is this.
363
00:14:19,553 --> 00:14:21,052
If you're gonna chew tobacco,
364
00:14:21,088 --> 00:14:23,522
don't let it get all over the floor.
That's what Hitler would've done.
365
00:14:23,557 --> 00:14:26,525
Uh, quick side bar, then I'm
gonna call my final witness.
366
00:14:28,629 --> 00:14:29,861
What? What's the matter with you?
367
00:14:29,897 --> 00:14:31,963
No, nothing... just
Pennsylvania Shale's trying
368
00:14:31,999 --> 00:14:35,133
to destroy me, and also Gary's evil.
369
00:14:35,168 --> 00:14:37,302
So, go ahead and gloat.
You were right about him.
370
00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:39,337
Oh, no, no, now, you
think I'm the kind of guy
371
00:14:39,373 --> 00:14:40,672
that likes to say, "I told you so,"
372
00:14:40,707 --> 00:14:41,840
but that's not true.
373
00:14:41,875 --> 00:14:43,875
I love to say it, and I will be doing so
374
00:14:43,911 --> 00:14:46,044
in the days and months
ahead at random moments
375
00:14:46,079 --> 00:14:47,273
when you least expect it.
376
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,214
We got 20 minutes till the next game.
377
00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:51,082
Can we wrap this up, please?
378
00:14:51,118 --> 00:14:52,751
- All right, a quick question...
- Yeah.
379
00:14:52,786 --> 00:14:54,519
When you and Pompom were walking back,
380
00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,521
did you talk at all
about how I told you so?
381
00:14:56,557 --> 00:14:58,557
And it begins.
382
00:14:58,592 --> 00:14:59,858
All right, I call Pompom.
383
00:15:01,328 --> 00:15:04,062
All right, Stanton has
testified that he thought
384
00:15:04,097 --> 00:15:05,964
you told Yoshi to bean the pitcher.
385
00:15:05,999 --> 00:15:07,627
But what did you actually say?
386
00:15:07,737 --> 00:15:09,834
I told Yoshi to bean the pitcher.
387
00:15:09,870 --> 00:15:10,869
Mm.
388
00:15:10,904 --> 00:15:12,393
Then, I said if he didn't,
389
00:15:12,432 --> 00:15:14,674
he might permanently
alienate his teammates.
390
00:15:14,744 --> 00:15:16,575
Now, I remember it
well because there was
391
00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:19,210
a middle-aged woman
slowly eating a corn dog
392
00:15:19,246 --> 00:15:21,780
in the stands behind him, and
I filed the whole thing away
393
00:15:21,815 --> 00:15:23,014
in my spank bank.
394
00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:25,650
Compelling testimony.
395
00:15:25,686 --> 00:15:27,485
Look, he says that that conversation,
396
00:15:27,521 --> 00:15:28,587
it never happened.
397
00:15:28,622 --> 00:15:31,056
Well, then, Szechuan Sam is lying.
398
00:15:37,596 --> 00:15:39,062
Yoshi says that he refuses to play
399
00:15:39,098 --> 00:15:40,630
for any team that calls him a liar.
400
00:15:40,719 --> 00:15:42,601
_
401
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,609
_
402
00:15:44,938 --> 00:15:46,414
_
403
00:15:47,941 --> 00:15:50,008
- Yoshi, he quits.
- Yoshi! Yoshi!
404
00:15:50,043 --> 00:15:51,576
Yoshi, we can work something out!
405
00:15:51,612 --> 00:15:53,244
Oh, boy.
406
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,046
Your best player leaving on the same day
407
00:15:55,082 --> 00:15:57,616
that a billion-dollar
company declares war on you.
408
00:15:57,651 --> 00:15:59,884
That has got to be a
kick in the kitty cat.
409
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,721
I think the important thing
here is, though, that I helped.
410
00:16:02,756 --> 00:16:04,723
Why is that important?
411
00:16:04,758 --> 00:16:06,524
Because I didn't have to.
412
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:11,755
I just don't get how
Pompom and Yoshi can have
413
00:16:11,791 --> 00:16:14,327
such wildly different versions
of the same exact conversation.
414
00:16:14,382 --> 00:16:16,660
I mean, it was just the two of them.
415
00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:19,496
Wait, the... The three of them,
416
00:16:19,585 --> 00:16:21,452
because the translator
had to be there, right?
417
00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:26,469
Oh!
418
00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,242
Oh, shit! Wait.
419
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:29,844
Did I just solve it?
420
00:16:29,946 --> 00:16:31,379
I think that you did, yeah.
421
00:16:31,414 --> 00:16:33,348
I knew it. I knew I solved it.
422
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,750
Look at me on my "Law
& Order: SVU" type shit.
423
00:16:35,785 --> 00:16:37,218
Just set me up, and
I knocked it out like,
424
00:16:37,253 --> 00:16:39,854
- "These are their stories."
- Yeah, very nice.
425
00:16:39,889 --> 00:16:41,723
But for the record,
when I tell this story,
426
00:16:41,758 --> 00:16:43,091
I'm gonna be the one that solves it.
427
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:45,445
It's just it's gonna
flow better that way.
428
00:16:45,516 --> 00:16:48,129
Hey, hey, cut the bull...
Hey! Cut the bullshit.
429
00:16:48,164 --> 00:16:51,933
Why are you trying to take
away Yoshi's last chance?
430
00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:53,701
I had to get him to quit.
431
00:16:53,737 --> 00:16:55,670
I cannot live here.
432
00:16:55,705 --> 00:16:59,707
Just 10 minutes ago, I
saw a child who was so fat
433
00:16:59,743 --> 00:17:02,010
that he could not get up off his back.
434
00:17:02,045 --> 00:17:03,745
H-He look like a-a tortoise.
435
00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:05,847
Holy shit, is that kid still there?
436
00:17:05,882 --> 00:17:07,248
Oh, yeah.
437
00:17:07,283 --> 00:17:09,550
You didn't try to help
him up either, huh?
438
00:17:09,586 --> 00:17:11,853
Oh, no, ugh. H-He looked very sticky.
439
00:17:11,888 --> 00:17:13,955
Hai, hai.
440
00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:15,657
- Among other things.
- _
441
00:17:17,627 --> 00:17:21,262
Look, I know you feel the
same as I do about this town.
442
00:17:21,297 --> 00:17:23,264
Every game, I listen to you get drunk
443
00:17:23,299 --> 00:17:25,299
to deal with the reality
that you are trapped
444
00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:26,634
here in this place.
445
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:29,303
No, no, I just have a
drinking problem, friend.
446
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:32,073
But you're not wrong. This town is...
447
00:17:32,108 --> 00:17:33,875
a gaping shit hole.
448
00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:34,976
So...
449
00:17:35,011 --> 00:17:37,845
So, why do you care what happens here?
450
00:17:39,616 --> 00:17:42,016
And that was the moment
that I realized that I cared.
451
00:17:42,052 --> 00:17:43,084
Why did I care?
452
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:44,752
Because I was finally part of a team.
453
00:17:44,788 --> 00:17:46,788
I didn't mean to join it, but, you know,
454
00:17:46,823 --> 00:17:48,756
when you care about one
person, then you start to care
455
00:17:48,792 --> 00:17:51,125
about who they care about,
and on and on that goes
456
00:17:51,161 --> 00:17:53,461
until you look around
one day and you realize
457
00:17:53,496 --> 00:17:56,030
that there's a group of people
you'd actually fight for,
458
00:17:56,066 --> 00:17:57,865
and that goes for
everybody in this room.
459
00:17:57,901 --> 00:17:59,333
We are all part of a team.
460
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:02,236
Look, I live my life very selfishly.
461
00:18:02,272 --> 00:18:04,205
The last teammate I had, I betrayed him.
462
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,416
Why?
463
00:18:05,463 --> 00:18:08,643
Because of ambition and my own
very narrow-minded views on sex.
464
00:18:08,678 --> 00:18:10,878
But with age and experience,
I've come to realize, fellas,
465
00:18:10,914 --> 00:18:12,780
that sexuality is...
466
00:18:12,816 --> 00:18:14,048
Well, it's really more of a spectrum.
467
00:18:14,084 --> 00:18:15,683
Yes, it is. No, it is.
468
00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:17,685
Guys, one time when I was in Estonia...
469
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,454
No, no, no, just stay with me on this.
470
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:22,056
I was hiking through the
forest, and I came upon
471
00:18:22,092 --> 00:18:24,926
what must've been a
cruising spot for gay men.
472
00:18:24,961 --> 00:18:26,594
In the center of this clearing was
473
00:18:26,629 --> 00:18:27,762
what could best be described as...
474
00:18:27,797 --> 00:18:29,330
Well, it was a stump...
475
00:18:29,365 --> 00:18:32,533
Ohh! ... worn smooth from years
of casual anonymous encounters.
476
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:35,336
- That is enough of that!
- Guys... guys after guys...
477
00:18:35,371 --> 00:18:37,638
All right, we are already
10 minutes late for warm ups.
478
00:18:37,674 --> 00:18:38,973
Let's get on the field!
479
00:18:43,146 --> 00:18:47,181
Let's go! Come on now!
480
00:18:47,217 --> 00:18:50,485
Yoshi, my friend, are you joining us?
481
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,253
Ah.
482
00:18:52,412 --> 00:18:53,638
_
483
00:18:53,897 --> 00:18:56,451
_
484
00:18:57,081 --> 00:18:59,729
_
485
00:19:00,354 --> 00:19:05,960
_
486
00:19:07,837 --> 00:19:09,670
- Yeah, he's real happy to be here.
- Ah!
487
00:19:09,706 --> 00:19:11,372
Look, the truth is I speak Japanese
488
00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:12,940
at a third-grade level,
so you're gonna have
489
00:19:12,976 --> 00:19:14,575
- to get somebody else to translate.
- That's okay.
490
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,911
I am just so glad
something finally broke
491
00:19:16,946 --> 00:19:18,379
my way today and
everything got resolved.
492
00:19:18,414 --> 00:19:21,011
- All right.
- No, no, no, no, Miss Jules.
493
00:19:21,066 --> 00:19:23,518
Mnh-mnh.
494
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:24,886
What can I do for you, my friend?
495
00:19:24,921 --> 00:19:28,589
I still don't have payback
for the Summerville pitcher.
496
00:19:31,261 --> 00:19:33,928
I actually have an idea about that.
497
00:19:37,767 --> 00:19:40,334
Now, your mom didn't say
it was an emergency exactly,
498
00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:42,570
but it did sound kind of important.
499
00:19:42,605 --> 00:19:45,072
So, just go straight back
there. You'll see a phone.
500
00:19:45,108 --> 00:19:46,974
Straight back. Keep going.
501
00:19:48,111 --> 00:19:50,044
Yoshi Takatsu? I am a big fan.
502
00:19:50,079 --> 00:19:51,789
Whoa!
503
00:19:52,867 --> 00:19:53,648
- Charles.
- Mm-hmm?
504
00:19:53,683 --> 00:19:56,350
I just want to say I'm sorry
if I went a little overboard
505
00:19:56,386 --> 00:19:58,419
on all of that gay stuff, you know?
506
00:19:58,454 --> 00:20:01,792
The truth is everybody in your
generation seems gay to me.
507
00:20:01,823 --> 00:20:03,651
But I want you to know...
508
00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:04,789
Ooh!
509
00:20:04,794 --> 00:20:06,994
- I want you to know, Charles...
- Hm?
510
00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,931
... that whatever you become, I
think it's gonna be really special.
511
00:20:09,966 --> 00:20:11,599
You know why? 'Cause you're smart
512
00:20:11,634 --> 00:20:13,201
- and you don't take any shit, son...
- Hey, whoa!
513
00:20:13,236 --> 00:20:15,136
... and that's exactly
what you need to navigate
514
00:20:15,185 --> 00:20:17,084
the cold chaos of this world.
515
00:20:17,148 --> 00:20:18,366
Aah!
516
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,241
Aaah!
517
00:20:20,276 --> 00:20:21,876
T-Thank you.
518
00:20:21,911 --> 00:20:23,211
You're killing me!
519
00:20:23,246 --> 00:20:25,112
Thank you!
520
00:20:25,148 --> 00:20:27,348
- "Ooshi," no!
- We should... We should... Let's...
521
00:20:27,383 --> 00:20:30,418
Let's... Yeah. Let's get
out of here. Hurry up.
522
00:20:30,453 --> 00:20:34,155
You know, this whole thing
has showed me that you and I,
523
00:20:34,190 --> 00:20:36,190
w-we're kind of a team, too.
524
00:20:36,226 --> 00:20:37,758
We're kind of like...
525
00:20:37,794 --> 00:20:40,862
We're kind of like
boyfriend and girlfriend.
526
00:20:40,897 --> 00:20:42,730
Yeah, I know, Jim.
527
00:20:42,765 --> 00:20:44,932
- You do?
- Mm-hmm.
528
00:20:44,968 --> 00:20:46,601
How long have you known that?
529
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,536
Mm...
530
00:20:48,571 --> 00:20:50,238
when I stopped paying
for your hotel room
531
00:20:50,273 --> 00:20:53,074
'cause you were sleeping
at my apartment every night.
532
00:20:53,109 --> 00:20:55,710
So, wait. A-Are we living together?
533
00:20:56,779 --> 00:20:59,180
If it offends your
delicate sensibilities,
534
00:20:59,215 --> 00:21:01,682
you can tell yourself you're squatting.
535
00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:03,184
I need a beer.
536
00:21:03,219 --> 00:21:04,852
- I'll grab you one.
- No, that's all right.
537
00:21:04,888 --> 00:21:05,820
Dale!
538
00:21:14,597 --> 00:21:16,030
Goddamn, you are beautiful.
539
00:21:25,308 --> 00:21:27,290
Lucy?
540
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:31,436
Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for
- www.addic7ed.com -
39210
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