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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:05,304 Chuck Houston was the kind of man... 2 00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:10,743 who wore his medals on the inside as well as the outside. 3 00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:18,083 Chuck was shot 178 times in the movies. 4 00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:21,387 But it was in World War II... 5 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:24,690 that Chuck became a real hero. 6 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,693 He was a real star. 7 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:32,231 He was wounded when without regard for personal safety, 8 00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:38,037 he heroically thrust himself between an exploding grenade... 9 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,539 and his platoon, 10 00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:45,711 and, uh, saved most of their lives. 11 00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:52,117 This was in the South Pacific, earning him the Purple Heart. 12 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:55,554 You' re 93 seconds too long. 13 00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:56,822 Oh, damn! 14 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:57,856 We'll fix it. 15 00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:00,793 You run a tight funeral. 16 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,662 Well, the service ends at 12:15, we close casket , 17 00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:08,500 and if you can cut 93 seconds from your tribute, we'll be home free. 18 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:11,837 I 'll work on it. Tomorrow is another day. 19 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:13,105 Goodbye, Mr. Prince. 20 00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:15,307 Thank you, Fred. Good night. 21 00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:18,677 I like the display, Gerald. Thank you. 22 00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:19,545 Thank you, sir. 23 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,915 Line two, Verity Chandler. It's on hold. 24 00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:25,584 Rita, Gerald, you can go. I'll lock up. 25 00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:26,752 - Good night. - Good night , Mr. Prince. 26 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:27,820 Good night. 27 00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:32,558 Verity, darling, did you get my message about the Houston funeral? 28 00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,960 I always get the message, lover. 29 00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:37,596 Eric, we have to have a private chat , 30 00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:39,798 just the two of us. Strictly personal. 31 00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,067 A chat? What about? 32 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:44,002 There will be a funeral service, 33 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,071 of course, as always, but... 34 00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,806 we'll have one in private, 35 00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:50,375 all right? Just before. 36 00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,744 Just the two of us. 37 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:04,223 "Hollywood Heartbeat", Sunday Promo, G102. 38 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:16,401 Verity, what juicy tidbits do you have on "Hollywood Heartbeat" this weekend? 39 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,169 What 's new? 40 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:20,439 A story that will rattle a few skeletons. 41 00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:26,111 Watch this Sunday for grisly undertakings on Sunset Boulevard. 42 00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:31,250 And if you've got gossip, remember, you can email me at : 43 00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:36,788 vicious_rumors_@ hollywood_heartbeat. com 44 00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:18,597 Roger, darling, it's me at 11:30. The liquor store just delivered... 45 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,133 the booze for the Sunday party. 46 00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:25,637 Listen, email me that revised guest list as soon as possible. 47 00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:27,139 Now, page me. 48 00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:06,178 All right. 49 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,426 The Haverland Prince Funeral Home. 50 00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:46,451 Suzanne. You meant a great deal to Chuck. 51 00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:49,788 How are you bearing up, Mrs. Houston? 52 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,624 Oh, Mr. Prince. Would you excuse me? 53 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:55,394 - I'd like to ask you a favour. - Yes. 54 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,897 Could you sit with me in the first row? 55 00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:01,700 You may sit with anyone you choose. 56 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,270 Please sit with me. You have been such a comfort. 57 00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:06,605 It 'll be my pleasure. 58 00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:11,810 Oh, my, look at the red death. 59 00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:56,021 Excuse me, sir. 60 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:59,091 Your attorney is here to speak to you about something urgent. 61 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,025 Mm-hm. 62 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,229 Don't forget , service starts at noon. 63 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:05,364 Yes, sir. 64 00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:11,036 Eric. I'm sorry, but the purchase agreement has to be signed today. 65 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:16,007 Not to worry, Henry. I have it ready for you. Shall we take the short cut? 66 00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:25,417 My chamber of horrors. Look, but don't touch. 67 00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:35,927 It's on my desk. Here we are, signed and delivered. 68 00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:39,765 You' re now the proud owner of your 24th funeral home. Congratulations. 69 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:44,770 I think we should also congratulate my dear old friend Mr. Haverland. 70 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,472 He would be proud of his protégé. 71 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,175 Yes. I really must be going. 72 00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,277 You'd like to go the way of the living. 73 00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:53,845 If you don't mind. 74 00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,248 It's always a pleasure, Henry. 75 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,283 If you have any problems, call me. 76 00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,419 Absolutely. Bye-bye for now. 77 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,367 Oh, hi, babe! 78 00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:17,335 Verity. 79 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,671 You left your door unlocked. Unlike you. 80 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,673 I thought you'd gone. 81 00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:25,310 I checked the parking lot. Your car wasn't there. 82 00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:29,147 No. Well, it's in for service. I had a taxi drop me today. 83 00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:32,851 Maybe you can take me home when this is over, just like old times. 84 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:36,421 Nice joke, darling, but I only have a minute. What do you want? 85 00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,557 I want your advice on a story I'm working on... 86 00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:40,692 for Sunday night 's broadcast. 87 00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:44,596 It's about a once-handsome, never-was actor from England, 88 00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:48,533 didn't make it here either, who gets a job in a Hollywood mortuary. 89 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:53,305 The mortician takes a liking to him and the actor becomes a mortician himself, 90 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:55,674 only our boy undertaker gets greedy. 91 00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:59,478 He realizes morticians can get to the bodies before anyone else, 92 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:03,949 can find telltale traces of homosexuality, affairs, drugs. 93 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:07,552 So he begins selling his information to a television reporter, 94 00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:11,056 who also becomes his oh-so-secret lover, 95 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,558 until he unceremoniously dumps her. 96 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,393 That's old news. 97 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,262 Oh, this is even older. 98 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:20,031 I shot this just a few days ago. 99 00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,833 It's the Dorothea Page mansion. 100 00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:25,437 I knew you'd recognize it. Just as I know you'll remember... 101 00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:30,509 what was around Dorothea's neck when her body arrived here some years ago. 102 00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,945 Eric, what ratings do you think I'll get... 103 00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:35,881 for a story about a Hollywood mortician... 104 00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:39,117 who steals a diamond necklace from a dead movie queen... 105 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,586 so he can buy into a fancy mortuary? 106 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:42,854 Sounds fascinating. 107 00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:43,955 Doesn't it? 108 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:47,325 I'm hot on your trail and getting warmer by the minute. 109 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,529 I know your games. You' re telling me this so that I 'll... 110 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,264 dig up dirt for you again. 111 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,467 Darling, no! You' re not listening. This isn't blackmail. 112 00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:58,303 I'm broadcasting this Sunday night at eight , live. 113 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:02,307 I'm even having a party at my house to celebrate. 114 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:06,011 This is my big surprise scoop of the year. 115 00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:07,679 Haven't told a soul. 116 00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,948 I wanted you to be the first to know. 117 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:11,483 Thank you. 118 00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,618 You' re going to lose everything. 119 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:18,790 Eric Prince, you used to be every widow's bedroom pet. 120 00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:22,561 I only came by to make sure you tune in Sunday night , 121 00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:26,765 but it was worth it just to see that knot in your gut. 122 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:31,770 Imagine this projected behind me... 123 00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:38,710 with the headlines, "Grisly undertakings on Sunset Boulevard". 124 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:40,845 Hm? 125 00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:46,585 You burned me once, baby. Now I'm going to burn you. 126 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,392 Mr. Prince? 127 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:42,007 Miss Rita, are the flower arrangements all right? 128 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,942 Mr. Prince is delighted. Thank you, Hugo. 129 00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,744 I'm happy. Thank you. 130 00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,217 Oh, it's getting close. 131 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:57,188 I was just checking the new equipment. Just lead on, would you? 132 00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:24,149 Chuck Houston was the kind of man... 133 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:27,886 who wore his medals on the inside... 134 00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:30,188 as well as the outside. 135 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:36,094 Chuck was shot 178 times... 136 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,898 "Grisly undertakings on Sunset Boulevard". 137 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,767 You burned me once, baby. 138 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,737 Now I'm going to burn you. 139 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:50,275 ... saved most of their lives. 140 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,877 This was in the South Pacific, 141 00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:56,848 earning him the Purple Heart. 142 00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:02,053 May we always remember him. 143 00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:15,700 I 'll send one of our cars, have you here at four o'clock. 144 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,903 All will be ready. I shall take care of this personally. 145 00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:20,438 Thank you. 146 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,475 Kathy, take care of your aunt , would you, please? 147 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,343 Oh, Kathy. 148 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,713 Eric? 149 00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:50,882 Here's your dear Chuck. 150 00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:51,883 Thank you. 151 00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:55,954 And, of course, we mustn't forget this. 152 00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:35,526 I see it. Stop. Just stop right here. Is it all right to open the door? 153 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,773 Happy trails! 154 00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,219 Verity. 155 00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:12,256 My darling Verity. 156 00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:28,840 Let 's see what we have here. 157 00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,248 '97. 158 00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:40,918 Change to 8. 159 00:18:43,922 --> 00:18:45,022 And... 160 00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:50,128 where are you, Mr. Prince? 161 00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:51,762 There we are. 162 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:54,065 Mm-hm. 163 00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,569 Bye-bye, Mr. Prince. 164 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,143 And changed to... 165 00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,285 Mm-hm. 166 00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:17,021 Hmm. 167 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:24,862 Adios, Mr. Prince. Hello, cocaine. 168 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:29,600 There we are. Change back. 169 00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:32,703 Good. 170 00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:22,386 I 've come with my condolences. 171 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:25,289 Thank you, darling. I'll get the glasses. 172 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,624 Thank you. 173 00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:36,100 I don't care what your procedures are, Sergeant. I 've made a ton of phone calls. 174 00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:39,203 Believe me, Verity Chandler has friends in high places... 175 00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:44,008 and nobody, I mean no one, knows what the hell happened to her. Really! 176 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:47,712 We have this party on Sunday. The whole thing's bloody impossible. 177 00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:52,149 Sir, we' re doing the best we can to locate Miss Chandler, 178 00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:55,686 but as things stand it's a missing-persons case. 179 00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:58,456 "Missing persons"? Really, Sergeant? 180 00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:02,193 "Missing persons" is like being seated next to the kitchen. 181 00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:04,495 I would like some serious action. 182 00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:07,932 Oh! Hey! 183 00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:10,167 What 's up with you? 184 00:21:11,069 --> 00:21:14,739 Hi, Sarge. Excuse me, I 've gotta get this hound under control. 185 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:20,411 Are you gonna be good or are you gonna embarrass me in front of the sergeant? 186 00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:23,814 Look at that. Will you look at that? 187 00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:27,084 I was on my way to the vet 's when you called. 188 00:21:27,185 --> 00:21:31,489 This guy hasn't been feeling too good this week, kinda listless. 189 00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,692 Look at him now. What 's sparking you? 190 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,995 Thanks for stopping by. I know it's not a homicide, 191 00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,031 but Mr. Roger Gambles, 192 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,267 the missing lady's secretary, is somewhat concerned. 193 00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:44,835 You can say that again. 194 00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:48,172 All right. OK. He'll be all right. 195 00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:51,542 Uh... Oh, boy. 196 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,911 Excuse me, what 's this guy's name? 197 00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:55,980 Oh, Roger Gambles. 198 00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:03,554 Mr. Gambler, glad to see you, sir. 199 00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,489 Sergeant Degarmo been treating you all right? 200 00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:07,458 Gambles. It's Roger Gambles. 201 00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:09,393 Oh, sorry, sir. 202 00:22:09,628 --> 00:22:11,595 You' re a... you' re a detective? 203 00:22:11,697 --> 00:22:14,565 Yes, I guess I am. 204 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,467 Uh-huh. Can you listen? 205 00:22:16,568 --> 00:22:18,502 Oh, yes, sir. 206 00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:21,238 The last time I heard from her... 207 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,773 Excuse me. 208 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,788 Yeah, he'll be all right. Yes, sir? 209 00:22:37,889 --> 00:22:39,957 The last time I heard from her was... 210 00:22:40,058 --> 00:22:41,592 From who? 211 00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:45,896 From whom. My employer, Miss Verity Chandler. 212 00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:49,467 The missing lady. The reason we' re all here. 213 00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:53,003 Last time I heard from her was yesterday morning about 11:30. 214 00:22:53,171 --> 00:22:55,206 She's having a party on Sunday and... 215 00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:57,808 asked me to email her the revised guest list. 216 00:22:58,276 --> 00:23:02,913 I responded, she did not. I called her repeatedly, several times, and... 217 00:23:03,515 --> 00:23:05,916 all I got was the machine. 218 00:23:06,017 --> 00:23:07,551 When did you make these calls, sir? 219 00:23:07,652 --> 00:23:10,521 It's on the tape, Lieutenant. I checked it. 220 00:23:12,624 --> 00:23:15,760 Three messages. 9:04pm. 221 00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:17,161 Verity, it's Roger. Call me. 222 00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:19,630 10:59pm. 223 00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:22,166 Roger again. Where are you? 224 00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:24,235 12:42am. 225 00:23:24,336 --> 00:23:26,437 Verity, I'm starting to worry. 226 00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:28,139 End of messages. 227 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,574 - That's it? - That's it. 228 00:23:31,777 --> 00:23:33,010 And you called the cops? 229 00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:34,879 What do you think? 230 00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:39,850 I showed up for work this morning, the door was wide open, I saw the hall. 231 00:23:39,951 --> 00:23:42,052 What did you think when you walked in? 232 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,221 Oh, I think you did the right thing, sir. 233 00:23:44,322 --> 00:23:47,057 She comes home, comes in here, 234 00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:51,228 pours herself a drink, off with the earrings, off with the shoes. 235 00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:52,763 You see the shoes? 236 00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:54,732 I got the shoes. 237 00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:56,200 Yes, Sergeant? 238 00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:59,603 She sits down, starts to work the computer. 239 00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:01,071 Doorbell rings. 240 00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:05,643 She gets up to answer it , there's a struggle, 241 00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:09,747 someone nabs her sometime after 8:40. 242 00:24:09,981 --> 00:24:13,284 After 8:40? Why 8:40? 243 00:24:13,485 --> 00:24:15,453 The computer, Detective. It's there. 244 00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:17,922 The last time she made an entry was 8:40pm. 245 00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:20,224 Can you look at it? 246 00:24:21,393 --> 00:24:23,160 I 've already shown the sergeant. 247 00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:25,996 Can you look at it? 248 00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,032 Yes, I can. 249 00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:30,734 I 'll look at it. 250 00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:39,743 "This reporter has been looking into a tangled web of crime... 251 00:24:39,845 --> 00:24:43,380 amid the young and ruthless in the snowy hills of Beverly. 252 00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:47,384 But the snow on those hills ain't sugar, it's cocaine." 253 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:49,153 Hm. 254 00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:50,654 Thank you. 255 00:24:51,389 --> 00:24:54,558 It seems like this drug story got her kidnapped. 256 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,560 Can this be touched? 257 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:57,995 Go ahead, they've been dusted. 258 00:24:58,096 --> 00:24:59,864 Guy's finished. Everything's been done. 259 00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:06,170 Yesterday was Thursday. Today is October 6, '97. 260 00:25:07,205 --> 00:25:12,209 "Twelve noon Houston fun." 261 00:25:12,811 --> 00:25:14,912 Was she gonna have fun in Houston? 262 00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:20,150 That's absurd. She went to the funeral of Chuck Houston, the old cowboy actor. 263 00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:21,952 The service was yesterday at noon. 264 00:25:22,587 --> 00:25:23,954 Got that. 265 00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:28,425 What's "PH SB"? 266 00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:32,930 Phone someone? "PH", phone, initials SB. 267 00:25:33,565 --> 00:25:35,699 Sid somebody, Shirley somebody? Who knows? 268 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,034 Could be. 269 00:25:37,936 --> 00:25:38,869 What 's this? 270 00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:43,173 We've inventoried them. 11 pictures of a puppy. 271 00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:48,012 11 ? 272 00:25:48,113 --> 00:25:48,846 My God! 273 00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:50,314 What 's the matter? 274 00:25:50,582 --> 00:25:53,150 Louella. I forgot all about Louella. 275 00:25:53,251 --> 00:25:54,418 Louella? 276 00:25:55,153 --> 00:25:55,953 Who's Louella? 277 00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:57,588 Beats me. 278 00:26:02,193 --> 00:26:04,929 Poor Louella. Slipped my mind completely. 279 00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:06,630 Oh! 280 00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:09,400 - This is what 's sparking you. - Here, sweetie. 281 00:26:11,002 --> 00:26:12,503 Hold on, sweetheart. 282 00:26:12,604 --> 00:26:16,407 Oh, it's just a pup. Look, he's shaking. 283 00:26:16,541 --> 00:26:18,475 - Sergeant , get my dog. - Yes, sir. 284 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:19,810 Hold him. 285 00:26:20,712 --> 00:26:23,814 Oh, look at this place. It's a mess here! 286 00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:28,419 He's got no water! He's got nothing! Where is it? 287 00:26:28,553 --> 00:26:29,253 Where's what? 288 00:26:29,354 --> 00:26:30,955 The food for the pup! 289 00:26:31,056 --> 00:26:33,958 Sorry. It's in the fridge. She keeps it in the fridge. 290 00:26:34,392 --> 00:26:35,392 Yeah. 291 00:26:36,895 --> 00:26:37,895 Where's the spoons? 292 00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:39,863 The spoons? Over here. I 'll get one. 293 00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:44,668 Here you are, Lieutenant. 294 00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:48,272 Oh, it's chicken. That's good. 295 00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:49,773 Yes, that’s her evening treat. 296 00:26:49,874 --> 00:26:51,809 That's good. They like that. 297 00:26:52,310 --> 00:26:53,544 What did you say? 298 00:26:53,645 --> 00:26:55,813 Uh, her evening treat. 299 00:27:01,519 --> 00:27:02,653 Excuse me. 300 00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:10,160 Can you guys make sure this dog is fed and has plenty of water? 301 00:27:10,261 --> 00:27:12,262 - Of course. - And take him for a walk? 302 00:27:12,364 --> 00:27:16,000 And who's gonna watch this dog while we' re working on this case? 303 00:27:16,167 --> 00:27:17,267 Oh, I will. 304 00:27:17,369 --> 00:27:18,235 Thank you. 305 00:27:18,336 --> 00:27:21,305 You' re going home, and, Sergeant , if you'd... 306 00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:25,142 be kind enough to do me a favour, 307 00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:28,679 I want copies of these. Take it to the lab. 308 00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:31,849 Copies made from the negatives on the desk. 309 00:27:32,250 --> 00:27:34,485 Where was the funeral service? 310 00:27:35,053 --> 00:27:36,220 Haverland Prince. 311 00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,222 Haverland Prince... 312 00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:42,726 Haverland Prince... Haverland Prince... 313 00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:48,332 Come in. 314 00:27:49,267 --> 00:27:51,068 - Good morning, sir. - Ah, Rita. 315 00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:53,170 I was about to call your house. 316 00:27:53,271 --> 00:27:55,839 I wasn't at my house, as a matter of fact. 317 00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:56,707 Who have we got? 318 00:27:56,808 --> 00:27:58,208 Regarding Dan Riley. 319 00:27:58,309 --> 00:28:01,512 The Motion Picture Home want to start the viewing one hour later. 320 00:28:01,613 --> 00:28:03,080 Another day, another body. 321 00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:05,282 Also, there's a Mr. Lerby. 322 00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:08,552 Preplanned funeral. The deceased arranged it two years ago. 323 00:28:08,653 --> 00:28:09,520 Cause of death? 324 00:28:09,988 --> 00:28:11,188 Gas boiler blew up. 325 00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:13,590 Ouch! Is there anything left of him? 326 00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:15,559 Well, he's not the man he was. 327 00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:18,028 Mrs. Lerby, the widow, will be here at ten. 328 00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:19,263 So will I. 329 00:28:19,631 --> 00:28:21,331 Mel Lerby was a jerk. 330 00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:26,336 A cheap, two-bit importer of knock-off Korean knitwear. 331 00:28:26,671 --> 00:28:29,106 Our divorce was gonna be final in a week, 332 00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:33,343 and if he'd waited seven days to kick it , I wouldn't have to be here doing this. 333 00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:34,578 I don't want a service, 334 00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:37,448 I don't want flowers and I do not want a coffin. 335 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:40,884 Mrs. Lerby, your husband requested a cremation. 336 00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:43,620 There has to be a container. That's the law. 337 00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:46,924 He was a 98lb weakling on his best day. 338 00:28:47,025 --> 00:28:50,127 What you got in there now you could put in a shoebox! 339 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:52,896 - Uh, Mrs. Lerby... - A suggestion, Rita. 340 00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:58,168 We could cremate your husband today in one of our inexpensive cardboard boxes, 341 00:28:58,269 --> 00:29:01,171 place his ashes in an urn that I hope you will like... 342 00:29:01,272 --> 00:29:02,606 it 'll be ready tomorrow... 343 00:29:02,707 --> 00:29:07,277 then arrange for our helicopter service to disperse the ashes over the ocean... 344 00:29:07,378 --> 00:29:10,147 at our expense, with my compliments. 345 00:29:10,482 --> 00:29:12,516 We' re going to take good care of him. 346 00:29:12,650 --> 00:29:14,885 Well, better you than me. 347 00:29:19,991 --> 00:29:21,258 Interesting woman. 348 00:29:21,659 --> 00:29:25,095 I'll cremate Mr. Lerby's remains myself as soon as they arrive. 349 00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:29,566 They come in at three, but you'll have to wait before you put him in the oven. 350 00:29:29,667 --> 00:29:31,568 - Why? - It's being repaired. 351 00:29:31,669 --> 00:29:35,205 One of the gas jets blew yesterday when you cremated Mr. Houston. 352 00:29:35,740 --> 00:29:39,576 Did it? How long will it take to fix? 353 00:29:39,744 --> 00:29:41,345 Repairman said it could be all day. 354 00:29:42,413 --> 00:29:44,248 Tell me immediately when it's ready. 355 00:29:44,349 --> 00:29:45,249 Yes, sir. 356 00:29:45,350 --> 00:29:48,819 Oh, by the way, someone's waiting for you in the display room. 357 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,320 Thank you, Rita. 358 00:30:04,836 --> 00:30:06,103 Morning, sir. 359 00:30:06,204 --> 00:30:10,841 I just can't get my wife to discuss this stuff, but she should like this. 360 00:30:11,242 --> 00:30:12,376 Nice and soft... 361 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:13,777 May I? 362 00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:17,114 I think you know the way out. 363 00:30:17,215 --> 00:30:18,448 Oh, sir, I'm sorry. 364 00:30:18,550 --> 00:30:22,119 I really shouldn't be smoking in a special place like this. 365 00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:24,388 I'm from the police. 366 00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:25,322 Pardon? 367 00:30:25,423 --> 00:30:26,957 Lieutenant Columbo. 368 00:30:27,091 --> 00:30:27,958 You' re joking. 369 00:30:28,059 --> 00:30:30,160 No, sir. No, I'm not. 370 00:30:31,062 --> 00:30:34,231 There you go. Are you Haverland Prince? 371 00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:39,336 I'm Prince. My partner, Arthur Haverland, died some years ago. 372 00:30:39,437 --> 00:30:41,104 Oh. Well, Mr. Prince, 373 00:30:41,206 --> 00:30:44,741 I'm looking into a missing-persons case, Verity Chandler. 374 00:30:44,876 --> 00:30:45,809 She was here yesterday. 375 00:30:46,077 --> 00:30:47,477 Was she alone? 376 00:30:47,645 --> 00:30:48,779 As far as I know. 377 00:30:48,947 --> 00:30:50,180 Where was she? 378 00:30:50,281 --> 00:30:53,383 In the chapel. And I have to check it for the next service. 379 00:30:53,484 --> 00:30:56,220 - Would you follow me? - Oh, I'd love to, sir. 380 00:30:57,555 --> 00:31:01,391 The only person she spoke to was the widow, Mrs. Houston. Then she left. 381 00:31:01,492 --> 00:31:03,727 Were you a friend of Miss Chandler's? 382 00:31:03,828 --> 00:31:05,229 A tabloid reporter? 383 00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:08,899 I keep my distance, but I do call her about VIP funerals. 384 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,568 The publicity's good and she's discreet. 385 00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:14,605 As a matter of a fact , I called her about the Houston service. 386 00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:16,273 Would you excuse me? 387 00:31:16,374 --> 00:31:18,809 That's coming along nicely, gentlemen. 388 00:31:18,910 --> 00:31:22,980 So she was here and then she left. Yeah, OK. 389 00:31:23,081 --> 00:31:24,815 What kind of car was she driving? 390 00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:27,718 I assume the usual one. A red Mercedes. 391 00:31:27,819 --> 00:31:29,653 Uh-huh, red Mercedes. 392 00:31:29,754 --> 00:31:32,656 Sir, this is Miss Chandler's datebook. 393 00:31:32,757 --> 00:31:35,025 Do you see the entry for yesterday's date? 394 00:31:35,426 --> 00:31:39,930 "Houston fun PH, phone, SB". 395 00:31:40,031 --> 00:31:45,669 Do you know anybody who was invited or who came to the funeral services... 396 00:31:45,770 --> 00:31:47,905 with the initials SB? 397 00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:53,577 Uh, Sonny Bono, Sandra Bullock, Steven Bochco. 398 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:56,747 Bono? Bullock? Bochco? 399 00:31:56,848 --> 00:32:01,184 Wow. Man, you really get the big ones! 400 00:32:01,352 --> 00:32:05,322 The crème de la crème, sir. That's French. 401 00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:06,990 Do you know of Dan Riley? 402 00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:10,060 The big dancer from the movies? 403 00:32:10,228 --> 00:32:12,029 Yeah, he died yesterday. 78 years old. 404 00:32:12,130 --> 00:32:14,865 Oh, he was up there with the greats. 405 00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:17,834 We' re having the viewing later this afternoon and... 406 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,102 then the burial tomorrow. 407 00:32:19,203 --> 00:32:21,705 Oh. Gee whiz, that’s funny. 408 00:32:21,806 --> 00:32:23,073 What? 409 00:32:23,174 --> 00:32:24,908 What you just said. 410 00:32:25,109 --> 00:32:29,813 You said you always call Miss Chandler regarding VIP funerals. 411 00:32:29,914 --> 00:32:34,017 I was just at the Chandler house and we checked her answering machine. 412 00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:36,787 There were only three messages since yesterday, 413 00:32:36,888 --> 00:32:39,756 all from her secretary. 414 00:32:40,725 --> 00:32:45,963 No, sir, there was no message from you regarding Dan Riley's funeral. 415 00:32:46,164 --> 00:32:48,966 I must reprimand myself. 416 00:32:49,067 --> 00:32:50,867 Well, don't worry about it , sir. 417 00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:56,740 When you've got your mind on big things, goodness, you could forget anything. 418 00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:59,076 Do you mind if I take one, sir? 419 00:32:59,177 --> 00:33:02,279 My wife and I gotta make a decision on this stuff. 420 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:05,749 With pleasure. And, of course, you'll both be welcome here... 421 00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:08,418 when the time comes. 422 00:33:11,055 --> 00:33:13,090 You got a good sense of humour. 423 00:33:14,359 --> 00:33:19,463 Oh, sir, if that red Mercedes were here, would you know it was here? 424 00:33:19,564 --> 00:33:23,633 No, I wouldn't , but my assistant would. Rita? 425 00:33:23,735 --> 00:33:26,970 We keep a log of all vehicles that come for any bereavement. 426 00:33:27,071 --> 00:33:29,773 Rita, this is Lieutenant Columbo. 427 00:33:29,874 --> 00:33:33,543 He needs the car list for the Houston affair. Would you give him any help you can? 428 00:33:33,644 --> 00:33:36,413 Certainly, sir. Follow me, Lieutenant. 429 00:33:36,781 --> 00:33:40,650 Sir, this is a lovely place to go. 430 00:33:40,752 --> 00:33:42,285 You got that right. 431 00:33:51,295 --> 00:33:53,397 That's the complete list. 432 00:33:53,831 --> 00:33:56,033 Oh, this is great. Thanks. 433 00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:57,634 Is Miss Chandler's car here? 434 00:33:57,735 --> 00:34:01,505 Her Mercedes? No. We all know it. 435 00:34:01,672 --> 00:34:02,839 This was a taxi? 436 00:34:02,940 --> 00:34:04,875 Yes, there was a taxi. 437 00:34:04,976 --> 00:34:07,377 Anything odd in her behaviour? 438 00:34:07,478 --> 00:34:09,479 Well, she comes here all the time. 439 00:34:09,580 --> 00:34:13,316 The last I saw of her, she was putting one of our brochures in her purse. 440 00:34:13,418 --> 00:34:14,184 What was that , ma'am? 441 00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:16,920 She put our brochure in her purse. 442 00:34:17,021 --> 00:34:20,357 I just got this to talk to the wife, but... 443 00:34:20,458 --> 00:34:22,859 you said that she comes here all the time. 444 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,094 Why would she want a brochure? 445 00:34:24,195 --> 00:34:26,997 No idea. Oh, and she kissed the corpse. 446 00:34:27,098 --> 00:34:27,864 I'm sorry, ma'am? 447 00:34:27,965 --> 00:34:30,033 She kissed Mr. Houston's corpse. 448 00:34:30,134 --> 00:34:33,136 Hollywood's a very "kissy" town. 449 00:34:33,237 --> 00:34:35,639 I even had to wipe her lipstick off his cheek. 450 00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:37,207 You did? With what? 451 00:34:37,308 --> 00:34:38,341 My handkerchief. 452 00:34:38,443 --> 00:34:39,743 Do you have that handkerchief? 453 00:34:39,844 --> 00:34:42,412 I was going to take it home and wash it. 454 00:34:43,381 --> 00:34:45,782 Oh, here we go. 455 00:34:47,819 --> 00:34:48,785 Thank you, ma'am. 456 00:34:48,886 --> 00:34:50,353 Will that be all? 457 00:34:51,389 --> 00:34:52,956 I think so. 458 00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:55,158 So what have we got? 459 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:56,760 Her earrings... 460 00:34:58,563 --> 00:35:00,030 lipstick... 461 00:35:01,666 --> 00:35:03,567 her shoes... 462 00:35:29,627 --> 00:35:30,861 Be there. 463 00:35:32,497 --> 00:35:33,997 It has to be there. 464 00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:49,913 Lieutenant! 465 00:35:50,014 --> 00:35:51,615 In here, Sarge. 466 00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:53,116 Lieutenant. 467 00:35:56,220 --> 00:35:59,289 Well, you were right to order up those reprints. 468 00:35:59,557 --> 00:36:02,659 There were 11 pictures of the puppy in that envelope, 469 00:36:03,227 --> 00:36:07,397 but there were 12 exposures on the roll. This is the 12th. 470 00:36:08,065 --> 00:36:09,499 How did you know there'd be a 12th? 471 00:36:09,767 --> 00:36:11,535 Cos of my brother-in-law. 472 00:36:11,636 --> 00:36:13,970 Only buys film that comes in 12-shot rolls. 473 00:36:14,071 --> 00:36:17,641 He's always running out. Drives you nuts. 474 00:36:18,543 --> 00:36:21,978 Well, I took the liberty of making some enlargements. 475 00:36:22,079 --> 00:36:23,446 They might be useful. 476 00:36:23,548 --> 00:36:26,449 Oh. Well, that’s using your head, sir. 477 00:36:27,218 --> 00:36:28,785 Thank you, Sergeant. 478 00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:31,555 Yeah, that was a good idea. 479 00:36:31,656 --> 00:36:33,056 Take a load off. 480 00:36:33,157 --> 00:36:34,424 Thanks, Lieutenant. 481 00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:37,861 Gee, this is a big place. Any ID on this? 482 00:36:37,962 --> 00:36:39,329 Uh, no. 483 00:36:39,430 --> 00:36:43,700 So we still never found the original of this photo? 484 00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:45,268 No. Nowhere. 485 00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:51,875 So why wasn't this photo with the other pho... 486 00:37:00,017 --> 00:37:03,453 Photos. PH. 487 00:37:09,327 --> 00:37:10,627 You drink too much. 488 00:37:11,629 --> 00:37:13,930 I'm a widow. I'm in mourning. 489 00:37:17,101 --> 00:37:18,235 Hello. 490 00:37:19,303 --> 00:37:22,539 Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't return your call, 491 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,475 and actually I'm in the middle of a meeting right now... 492 00:37:25,576 --> 00:37:27,978 with the funeral director Mr. Prince. 493 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:30,714 He says hello. 494 00:37:31,048 --> 00:37:32,249 Who is it? 495 00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:35,185 Lieutenant Combo? 496 00:37:35,453 --> 00:37:38,488 Columbo, yes. Say that I say hello too. 497 00:37:38,756 --> 00:37:41,558 Oh. Well, he said to say hello too. 498 00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:47,897 I'm afraid I'm not gonna be here. I have to go see my psychiatrist. 499 00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:53,236 Well, I suppose I could. All right , I'll see you there then. 500 00:37:53,337 --> 00:37:58,141 My psychiatrist will have to wait , although he does love talking to me. 501 00:37:58,242 --> 00:38:00,076 Well, bye-bye. 502 00:38:00,878 --> 00:38:02,045 Where is he? 503 00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:05,515 Verity Chandler's house. He wants me to stop by. 504 00:38:05,616 --> 00:38:06,983 Did he say why? 505 00:38:08,052 --> 00:38:12,455 He wants to ask me some questions. Said he has a few little problems there. 506 00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:14,391 I'll drive you. 507 00:38:21,098 --> 00:38:24,434 Ah, Mrs. Houston. Thank you for coming, ma'am. 508 00:38:24,535 --> 00:38:28,238 I'm Lieutenant Columbo. May I offer my condolences? 509 00:38:28,339 --> 00:38:30,607 No, thanks, I 've had plenty. 510 00:38:30,941 --> 00:38:35,478 I'm sorry, it's just the tension. I'm new at this widow stuff. 511 00:38:35,579 --> 00:38:37,347 And it's nice to see you again, sir. 512 00:38:37,448 --> 00:38:39,249 Mrs. Houston was too nervous to drive. 513 00:38:39,350 --> 00:38:42,085 I'm escorting her today, if that’s all right. 514 00:38:42,186 --> 00:38:44,554 Very nice. Please come in. 515 00:38:44,855 --> 00:38:45,789 Careful here. 516 00:38:45,890 --> 00:38:47,023 What happened? 517 00:38:47,124 --> 00:38:48,858 We' re not sure, ma'am. 518 00:38:48,959 --> 00:38:52,562 That's why I want to ask you a couple of questions. 519 00:38:52,930 --> 00:38:55,465 I hate to do this to you, ma'am. 520 00:38:55,566 --> 00:39:00,203 It's routine, you might say. Routine. 521 00:39:00,304 --> 00:39:02,405 Yes, to the usual suspects. 522 00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:04,007 What has happened? 523 00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:07,310 The questions that I want to ask you... 524 00:39:07,411 --> 00:39:10,814 and we' re gonna be asking everybody... 525 00:39:10,915 --> 00:39:14,851 that saw Miss Chandler yesterday the same questions... 526 00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:19,456 and the question is where were you from about... 527 00:39:19,557 --> 00:39:22,459 eight o'clock last night until seven this morning? 528 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,028 We'll start with you, sir. Were you at home? 529 00:39:25,129 --> 00:39:28,598 As a matter of fact , I wasn't at home. 530 00:39:28,699 --> 00:39:31,267 Not at home. Uh, 531 00:39:31,969 --> 00:39:33,703 could you elaborate on that , sir? 532 00:39:33,804 --> 00:39:36,206 Well, Lieutenant , I'm a bachelor. 533 00:39:36,307 --> 00:39:40,844 Shall we say that I spent the evening with a friend? 534 00:39:41,479 --> 00:39:43,646 With a friend. 535 00:39:43,914 --> 00:39:47,450 I hate to be indelicate, sir, 536 00:39:47,952 --> 00:39:53,490 but for my investigation, it's important to know names... 537 00:39:53,591 --> 00:39:55,859 - Facts and that sort of thing. - Specifics, yes. 538 00:39:56,127 --> 00:39:58,094 All right. All right. 539 00:39:58,763 --> 00:39:59,529 Ma'am? 540 00:39:59,630 --> 00:40:02,165 Mr. Prince spent the evening with me at my house. 541 00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:04,200 With you, ma'am? 542 00:40:04,368 --> 00:40:05,402 Yes. 543 00:40:05,503 --> 00:40:06,569 At your house? 544 00:40:06,871 --> 00:40:08,104 Yes. 545 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,140 Uh-huh. 546 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:14,677 Yes, it's been a very vulnerable and difficult time for Mrs. Houston. 547 00:40:14,779 --> 00:40:18,314 She was prostrate with grief, and I felt it was necessary... 548 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:22,118 So Mr. Prince came over to my house... 549 00:40:23,387 --> 00:40:24,921 and he gave me grief counseling. 550 00:40:25,022 --> 00:40:26,222 Yes, I did. 551 00:40:26,457 --> 00:40:31,194 So you counseled Mrs. Houston right through till this morning? 552 00:40:31,295 --> 00:40:32,495 Mm-hm. 553 00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:35,732 Mr. Prince came over shortly before eight o'clock... 554 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,501 and... Well... 555 00:40:39,804 --> 00:40:40,904 here we are. 556 00:40:41,972 --> 00:40:44,274 Lieutenant , do you have a moment? 557 00:40:45,176 --> 00:40:47,343 Excuse me, please, Liz. 558 00:40:47,545 --> 00:40:48,711 Lieutenant? 559 00:40:49,647 --> 00:40:51,381 Uh, the... 560 00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:55,518 the confidence that we've just shared I imagine will go no further. 561 00:40:55,619 --> 00:41:00,056 Absolutely, sir. That is your business. 562 00:41:00,157 --> 00:41:03,526 Thank you. I appreciate that very much. Yes. 563 00:41:03,627 --> 00:41:07,063 Oh, ma'am! I have a question for you. 564 00:41:08,399 --> 00:41:11,868 Would you all mind if I had a little shot of something? 565 00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:15,705 All this... Well, it's given me the shakes. 566 00:41:15,806 --> 00:41:18,341 Well, I'm sure if Miss Chandler were here, 567 00:41:18,442 --> 00:41:20,777 she'd be pleased to share them with you. 568 00:41:20,878 --> 00:41:22,345 - Help yourself. - Thank you. 569 00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:26,449 Just don't touch the Scotch. 570 00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:31,054 Don't worry. Scotch is not my flavour. I prefer bourbon. 571 00:41:35,626 --> 00:41:37,627 Did you say something about a question? 572 00:41:37,728 --> 00:41:39,896 Yes, ma'am. You know, I'm a dog person... 573 00:41:39,997 --> 00:41:42,465 and I can usually tell another dog person. 574 00:41:42,566 --> 00:41:46,469 And I bet you' re a dog person. 575 00:41:46,904 --> 00:41:48,872 Well, aren't you clever? 576 00:41:48,973 --> 00:41:50,974 I do have a couple of beauties at home. 577 00:41:51,075 --> 00:41:53,877 All right. Now, you've got a 12-week-old puppy, 578 00:41:53,978 --> 00:41:56,513 like Miss Chandler, for three days, 579 00:41:56,614 --> 00:42:01,351 and you leave at ten in the morning and you come back at eight at night. 580 00:42:01,852 --> 00:42:04,287 Would you forget to feed him? 581 00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:05,855 Never. 582 00:42:06,423 --> 00:42:10,493 Well, that pup was not fed. His food was in the fridge. 583 00:42:10,594 --> 00:42:15,798 Until my dying day, I will never believe that woman... 584 00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:19,035 forgot that there was a hungry puppy waiting for her. 585 00:42:19,670 --> 00:42:21,070 With the mess in the hall, 586 00:42:21,171 --> 00:42:24,207 maybe someone kidnapped her before she could feed him. 587 00:42:25,342 --> 00:42:27,210 She's a smart girl. 588 00:42:27,311 --> 00:42:32,081 Could I trouble you? Could you come over here, near this desk? 589 00:42:32,182 --> 00:42:34,984 This is where Miss Chandler worked. 590 00:42:35,152 --> 00:42:36,519 Now, uh... 591 00:42:38,689 --> 00:42:40,490 these shoes. 592 00:42:40,758 --> 00:42:43,826 Were these the shoes she was wearing at the funeral? 593 00:42:44,094 --> 00:42:48,031 Her shoes were black. Yes, I would say so. 594 00:42:48,432 --> 00:42:50,500 Well, they were down here. OK. 595 00:42:50,634 --> 00:42:53,503 Uh, and these earrings. 596 00:42:53,637 --> 00:42:57,040 Were these the earrings she was wearing at the funeral? 597 00:42:57,141 --> 00:43:01,911 Now, I know a lot about earrings and I particularly remember them. 598 00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:06,082 Yes. These are the ones. 599 00:43:06,183 --> 00:43:09,419 Uh-huh. This glass was here. 600 00:43:12,256 --> 00:43:13,423 That's Scotch. 601 00:43:13,524 --> 00:43:16,893 So it looks like it was obvious that this is where she was, 602 00:43:16,994 --> 00:43:18,394 and, uh... 603 00:43:18,963 --> 00:43:21,531 I only have one... 604 00:43:24,969 --> 00:43:26,836 Excuse me, ma'am. 605 00:43:27,037 --> 00:43:31,274 Would you turn your head toward the light? That lipstick, ma'am. 606 00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:33,509 Would you say that that shade... 607 00:43:34,511 --> 00:43:38,214 is lighter in colour than the lipstick on this glass? 608 00:43:40,017 --> 00:43:40,950 Yes. 609 00:43:41,051 --> 00:43:43,686 That shade, does it have a name? 610 00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:46,022 Well, I think it's called Afternoon Delight. 611 00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:47,123 Uh-huh. 612 00:43:47,691 --> 00:43:52,862 Mr. Prince, sir, did you see Verity kiss Chuck Houston? 613 00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:53,896 I don't recall that. 614 00:43:53,998 --> 00:43:55,431 Oh, she did. 615 00:43:55,699 --> 00:43:57,934 And frankly, I thought it was a bit showy. 616 00:43:58,102 --> 00:44:01,904 Well, your employee Rita saw it , because apparently she... 617 00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:07,410 wiped the lipstick off of Mr. Houston's face. 618 00:44:08,412 --> 00:44:12,715 And she did it with this handkerchief. 619 00:44:12,883 --> 00:44:14,651 This stain, ma'am. 620 00:44:15,753 --> 00:44:17,987 How would this compare... 621 00:44:19,256 --> 00:44:21,791 with the lip print on the glass? 622 00:44:22,559 --> 00:44:23,493 It's not the same. 623 00:44:24,194 --> 00:44:28,164 Yeah. That's what I thought. Yeah. 624 00:44:30,367 --> 00:44:33,036 I happened to look into this pocketbook. 625 00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:37,740 This is the pocketbook that she was carrying at the funeral. 626 00:44:39,143 --> 00:44:41,077 And sure enough... 627 00:44:42,546 --> 00:44:43,980 this lipstick. 628 00:44:44,748 --> 00:44:47,150 And this lipstick... 629 00:44:48,786 --> 00:44:50,153 matches... 630 00:44:51,021 --> 00:44:53,122 the lipstick on this handkerchief. 631 00:44:53,957 --> 00:44:58,161 So this lipstick is the lipstick that she was wearing... 632 00:44:58,262 --> 00:45:01,164 during the day yesterday. 633 00:45:01,999 --> 00:45:06,636 Question : why, when she came home at night , 634 00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:10,640 why did she take off her day lipstick... 635 00:45:10,741 --> 00:45:16,179 and put on dark evening lipstick... 636 00:45:16,413 --> 00:45:18,715 to sit here alone, 637 00:45:19,316 --> 00:45:22,485 by herself, and type? 638 00:45:22,586 --> 00:45:24,153 Would you do that , ma'am? 639 00:45:24,455 --> 00:45:27,290 Oh, well, I'm a little confused. 640 00:45:27,658 --> 00:45:32,462 You know, they told me they think she was working on this computer at 8:40, 641 00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:35,498 and maybe she was, I don't know, but they also tell me... 642 00:45:35,599 --> 00:45:40,136 you push the right buttons right now, don't ask me what they are, 643 00:45:41,638 --> 00:45:48,244 you can erase that 8:40pm and put in 11:30am last Christmas, so who knows? 644 00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:51,481 "Only the Shadow knows." 645 00:45:51,582 --> 00:45:53,416 Fascinating. 646 00:45:53,617 --> 00:45:56,719 You certainly have a way with you, Lieutenant. 647 00:45:56,820 --> 00:46:00,556 Is there anything else you require of us at the moment? 648 00:46:01,492 --> 00:46:03,426 Not at this time, sir. 649 00:46:07,531 --> 00:46:08,598 - Sir! - Yes? 650 00:46:08,699 --> 00:46:11,901 I'm sorry. Sir? Sorry, sir. 651 00:46:12,002 --> 00:46:14,570 Uh, ma'am? I'm sorry, ma'am. 652 00:46:14,805 --> 00:46:17,140 You' re late, ma'am. Forgive me. 653 00:46:17,241 --> 00:46:20,676 This'll just take a second. I just forgot. 654 00:46:21,245 --> 00:46:23,946 Uh, this house... 655 00:46:25,649 --> 00:46:28,117 Either of you recognize this house? 656 00:46:29,086 --> 00:46:34,023 Uh... no, I can't say that I 've ever seen that before. 657 00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:36,125 Have you ever seen this? 658 00:46:36,226 --> 00:46:38,661 No. No, I haven't. 659 00:46:38,762 --> 00:46:40,229 Sorry, Lieutenant. Can't help. 660 00:46:40,330 --> 00:46:43,199 All right. Thank you very much. 661 00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:44,333 Bye-bye again. 662 00:46:44,434 --> 00:46:45,802 Bye-bye. 663 00:47:38,488 --> 00:47:41,390 Mr. Lerby, we hardly knew you. 664 00:47:45,762 --> 00:47:49,398 A freshly repaired oven awaits you. 665 00:48:03,647 --> 00:48:07,717 Gentlemen, I fear this is for double occupancy. 666 00:49:51,021 --> 00:49:53,956 Hey, Freddy. What have you got for me? 667 00:49:54,157 --> 00:49:55,458 I got nothing. 668 00:49:55,759 --> 00:49:56,759 What 's this? Soft time? 669 00:49:56,860 --> 00:49:58,461 But you got a visitor. 670 00:49:59,596 --> 00:50:00,830 - Eddie Fenelle? - Yeah. 671 00:50:01,331 --> 00:50:03,399 You drive cab 953? 672 00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:04,934 Yeah. 673 00:50:05,502 --> 00:50:06,502 So what 's the beef? 674 00:50:06,603 --> 00:50:07,703 Sit down. 675 00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:11,474 The dispatcher says your cab picked up a fare... 676 00:50:11,575 --> 00:50:15,678 three days ago in Beverly Hills a woman named Verity Chandler. 677 00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:17,713 Drove her to a funeral home. 678 00:50:19,549 --> 00:50:23,753 Oh, yeah. I don't remember her name, but I picked her up around 11:30, 679 00:50:23,854 --> 00:50:26,555 dropped her off. End of story. 680 00:50:26,656 --> 00:50:27,823 You didn't drive her home? 681 00:50:27,924 --> 00:50:28,824 No. 682 00:50:28,925 --> 00:50:30,226 You didn't wait for her? 683 00:50:30,327 --> 00:50:31,127 No. 684 00:50:31,228 --> 00:50:33,162 How'd she leave the funeral home? 685 00:50:33,330 --> 00:50:34,196 How should I know? 686 00:50:34,297 --> 00:50:38,134 Maybe she bummed a ride from another friend or called another cab. 687 00:50:38,468 --> 00:50:40,636 Did she have this picture? 688 00:50:41,071 --> 00:50:43,873 Hey, look, she didn't jump in the front seat with me. 689 00:50:43,974 --> 00:50:47,309 We didn't get that close. Are we done now? 690 00:50:47,677 --> 00:50:48,844 We' re done. 691 00:50:51,982 --> 00:50:53,616 How long you been out? 692 00:50:54,384 --> 00:50:55,518 How'd you know I was in? 693 00:50:55,619 --> 00:50:59,221 I heard you say "soft time". That's prison slang for easy duty. 694 00:50:59,856 --> 00:51:01,724 Six weeks. I'm on parole. 695 00:51:01,858 --> 00:51:03,159 Keep your nose clean. 696 00:51:03,427 --> 00:51:05,661 I 'll keep it so clean, you can eat off of it. 697 00:51:06,196 --> 00:51:08,764 I'm going for a burger. Anything happens, page me. 698 00:51:08,865 --> 00:51:09,532 Right. 699 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,567 Hey, nice talkin' to you. 700 00:51:11,968 --> 00:51:14,670 Phew. Hell, man! 701 00:51:15,138 --> 00:51:17,606 It is bumper to bumper out there. 702 00:51:17,874 --> 00:51:19,408 You waiting on a cab? 703 00:51:19,676 --> 00:51:20,743 No. 704 00:51:21,344 --> 00:51:23,379 So what are you doing? Looking for a job? 705 00:51:24,948 --> 00:51:27,383 No, just sitting and thinking. 706 00:51:27,584 --> 00:51:29,385 Sitting and thinking. 707 00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,088 Well, that’s a good thing if you don't like to eat. 708 00:51:32,889 --> 00:51:36,125 But if you like to eat , not much time for sitting and thinking. 709 00:51:36,226 --> 00:51:37,626 Gotta burn rubber. 710 00:51:37,727 --> 00:51:40,229 "HB". What does that mean? 711 00:51:40,330 --> 00:51:42,431 Uh, Hollywood Boulevard. 712 00:51:43,433 --> 00:51:45,267 Hollywood Boulevard... 713 00:51:49,372 --> 00:51:51,407 HB. 714 00:51:52,909 --> 00:51:54,844 SB. 715 00:53:02,012 --> 00:53:03,913 Hey! Hey! 716 00:53:04,014 --> 00:53:07,483 Hey, I'm a cop! I'm a cop, you monkeys! 717 00:53:07,651 --> 00:53:11,453 A thousand pardons, Lieutenant. You must forgive my security people. 718 00:53:12,122 --> 00:53:14,924 The bodyguards my country provides are professional, 719 00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:17,826 but they can be overzealous in their task. 720 00:53:17,928 --> 00:53:22,431 Now, what can Sheikh Hirami do to help the Los Angeles Police? 721 00:53:22,566 --> 00:53:26,602 Sir, I'm looking into a missing-persons case, 722 00:53:26,703 --> 00:53:29,104 a woman named Verity Chandler. 723 00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:32,808 Verity Chandler? I have never heard this name. 724 00:53:32,909 --> 00:53:35,344 She's a kind of TV reporter. 725 00:53:35,445 --> 00:53:40,616 Ah, television! Sheikh Hirami scoffs with derision. 726 00:53:40,717 --> 00:53:42,751 You don't like television? 727 00:53:43,587 --> 00:53:47,156 Television is a box of infidels. 728 00:53:47,691 --> 00:53:49,792 Sheikh Hirami likes movie stars. 729 00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:51,961 Ah, good. 730 00:53:52,095 --> 00:53:56,398 Sheikh Hirami bought this mansion because it belonged to the movie star... 731 00:53:56,633 --> 00:53:57,900 Miss Dorothea Page. 732 00:53:58,001 --> 00:54:00,936 Dorothea Page... Yes! 733 00:54:01,037 --> 00:54:05,241 A great silent-film star, became even bigger in the talkies. 734 00:54:05,342 --> 00:54:06,642 This was her place? 735 00:54:06,743 --> 00:54:09,912 I 've lived here seven years, and I cannot tell you... 736 00:54:10,013 --> 00:54:13,949 the tourists, the gawkers. That is why the security. 737 00:54:14,618 --> 00:54:18,220 You know, of course, when Miss Dorothea Page died, 738 00:54:18,321 --> 00:54:19,755 the police came too. 739 00:54:19,990 --> 00:54:20,756 Why? 740 00:54:20,857 --> 00:54:22,658 Surely you must know. 741 00:54:22,759 --> 00:54:26,061 The case of the mysterious missing diamonds. 742 00:54:26,429 --> 00:54:27,496 Diamonds? 743 00:54:28,164 --> 00:54:32,434 Uh, sir, maybe I will show you this photograph. 744 00:54:43,413 --> 00:54:44,413 What 's the ruckus? 745 00:54:44,514 --> 00:54:46,181 A thousand pardons. 746 00:54:46,283 --> 00:54:49,785 They are upset because just three days ago, 747 00:54:49,886 --> 00:54:52,254 they chased away a woman who took a picture. 748 00:54:52,389 --> 00:54:55,658 Wait a minute. This woman who took this picture, 749 00:54:55,759 --> 00:54:57,593 did she wear a big hat? 750 00:55:06,469 --> 00:55:07,636 Was that a yes? 751 00:55:07,871 --> 00:55:11,740 Big, black hat , red clothes. Very red. 752 00:55:11,908 --> 00:55:15,611 Are you saying the woman wore a big, black hat... 753 00:55:15,712 --> 00:55:18,347 with a lot of red clothes, three days ago, 754 00:55:18,448 --> 00:55:21,150 took the picture and then drove away? 755 00:55:21,251 --> 00:55:24,386 Yes. She got out , stole a photograph with her camera... 756 00:55:24,487 --> 00:55:26,889 and then jumped right back into a taxi. 757 00:55:27,824 --> 00:55:28,490 Taxi?! 758 00:55:28,858 --> 00:55:30,459 Yes, they said taxi. 759 00:55:33,830 --> 00:55:35,397 Hey, I'm not for hire. 760 00:55:39,102 --> 00:55:42,137 Hey, can't you read? The sign says no smo... 761 00:55:42,405 --> 00:55:45,574 Oh, it's you. Hey, listen, I 've already got a fare. 762 00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:48,844 The dispatcher tells me you pick up the same guy... 763 00:55:48,945 --> 00:55:52,047 from the same doctor at the same time each week. 764 00:55:52,148 --> 00:55:54,316 Right , and the meter's running. What 's up? 765 00:55:54,417 --> 00:55:57,619 Eddie Fenelle, aka Eddie the Fence. 766 00:55:57,721 --> 00:56:01,957 Six years, grand larceny, receiving stolen goods. 767 00:56:02,258 --> 00:56:07,830 Does that include a diamond necklace once worn by a star, Dorothea Page? 768 00:56:07,931 --> 00:56:10,566 Hey, you can't pin that diamond job on me. 769 00:56:10,667 --> 00:56:15,604 I got a witness can identify you as the driver of this cab... 770 00:56:15,939 --> 00:56:19,141 on the day that Verity Chandler... 771 00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,010 took this photograph. 772 00:56:24,647 --> 00:56:27,716 Now, are you gonna come clean or do I take you downtown? 773 00:56:29,819 --> 00:56:31,987 I'm not looking to hurt you, Eddie. 774 00:56:32,088 --> 00:56:37,126 And right now I don't need any definites. All I need is maybes. 775 00:56:37,494 --> 00:56:40,095 - Maybes? - Yeah, maybes. 776 00:56:42,732 --> 00:56:44,099 OK, maybe. 777 00:56:45,068 --> 00:56:49,104 So maybe there is somebody who did know something about those diamonds. 778 00:56:49,472 --> 00:56:54,243 This somebody didn't steal 'em, he just handled 'em, if you know what I mean. 779 00:56:55,011 --> 00:56:58,213 And then maybe this somebody went to prison for another job, 780 00:56:58,581 --> 00:57:02,084 then when he got out of the joint , he gets a call from a woman. 781 00:57:02,185 --> 00:57:06,522 She says she's a reporter and she wants the lowdown on those diamonds. 782 00:57:06,890 --> 00:57:10,826 And maybe somebody got some money for this information. 783 00:57:11,661 --> 00:57:12,861 Maybe. 784 00:57:12,962 --> 00:57:16,165 And maybe somebody's cab was used... 785 00:57:16,266 --> 00:57:21,303 to drive somebody to the dead movie star's house to take a picture. 786 00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:22,905 Maybe that too. 787 00:57:23,006 --> 00:57:26,675 And maybe... Come on, Eddie. I'm waiting! 788 00:57:28,745 --> 00:57:32,481 Maybe she wants this somebody to finger the guy who stole the diamonds. 789 00:57:32,582 --> 00:57:33,782 How would she do that? 790 00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:36,552 She said she'd get a photo of the guy. 791 00:57:42,392 --> 00:57:43,559 Bingo. 792 00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:47,196 Uh, that is not an official bingo, you understand? 793 00:57:47,730 --> 00:57:49,097 That's a maybe. 794 00:57:49,599 --> 00:57:55,337 But somebody identified this man in this picture... 795 00:57:55,572 --> 00:57:59,141 as the man who fenced the diamond necklace... 796 00:57:59,242 --> 00:58:02,377 belonging to Dorothea Page. 797 00:58:02,545 --> 00:58:05,380 Sounds right. Maybe. 798 00:58:06,049 --> 00:58:07,349 Hey, here comes my fare. 799 00:58:07,450 --> 00:58:08,984 Keep that nose clean. 800 00:58:13,756 --> 00:58:16,992 The service that we provide is a business, 801 00:58:17,193 --> 00:58:21,630 but how many businesses experience the whole gamut of human emotions? 802 00:58:22,098 --> 00:58:26,001 Grief, pain, anger. 803 00:58:26,669 --> 00:58:29,638 Some of us call ourselves funeral directors. 804 00:58:30,273 --> 00:58:32,841 I prefer the old-fashioned word, 805 00:58:33,309 --> 00:58:34,810 "undertaker". 806 00:58:34,911 --> 00:58:38,580 I undertake the pain... 807 00:58:38,681 --> 00:58:41,650 of the bereaved that they cannot bear. 808 00:58:42,185 --> 00:58:46,355 Our business is based on trust , 809 00:58:46,689 --> 00:58:51,159 and without that trust , we lose our business. 810 00:58:51,261 --> 00:58:55,998 So it is in the spirit of that trust that I accept these awards... 811 00:58:56,199 --> 00:59:00,636 and thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. 812 00:59:07,810 --> 00:59:11,813 Move over here a little bit. Let me take that , and look at the camera. 813 00:59:13,650 --> 00:59:14,383 Thank you. 814 00:59:15,251 --> 00:59:19,087 Thank you. Oh, yes, I haven't seen you for a long time. 815 00:59:19,188 --> 00:59:23,425 Hey, John. How's everything, huh? Good. 816 00:59:23,526 --> 00:59:27,429 Great speech, sir. Your office said that I'd find you here. 817 00:59:27,530 --> 00:59:28,830 This is not a bad time, is it? 818 00:59:28,932 --> 00:59:31,767 No. Always a pleasure. You intrigue me. 819 00:59:32,435 --> 00:59:34,870 I wanted to tell you it wasn't Sonny Bono. 820 00:59:34,971 --> 00:59:37,406 - Excuse me? - I said it wasn't Sonny Bono. 821 00:59:37,540 --> 00:59:40,309 - It wasn't him? - No, sir. Or Sandra Bullock. 822 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,177 - It wasn't her? - No, sir. 823 00:59:42,278 --> 00:59:45,247 - It wasn't even Steven Bochco. - Who was it? 824 00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:47,683 You won't believe this. 825 00:59:47,784 --> 00:59:49,351 - My cousin... - It was him? 826 00:59:49,452 --> 00:59:52,521 No. My cousin works for a cab company. 827 00:59:52,622 --> 00:59:55,390 Drives a cab, and I went down to see him. 828 00:59:55,491 --> 00:59:58,393 They've got this big map of the city... 829 00:59:58,494 --> 01:00:03,398 and he's writing on the blackboard, "Heavy traffic, HB" . "What 's HB?" 830 01:00:03,499 --> 01:00:08,136 He says, "Hollywood Boulevard." Holy jamolies! 831 01:00:08,237 --> 01:00:10,572 HB, Hollywood Boulevard. 832 01:00:10,873 --> 01:00:13,342 SB, Sunset Boulevard! 833 01:00:13,443 --> 01:00:14,109 Very good. 834 01:00:14,210 --> 01:00:15,877 We' re off to the bar. You joining us? 835 01:00:15,979 --> 01:00:18,914 In a few minutes. Have yourself a ball. 836 01:00:19,015 --> 01:00:21,149 - You bet , sir. - See you later. 837 01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:25,554 It might be an idea if we went somewhere private where we could chat. 838 01:00:25,655 --> 01:00:27,122 Follow me. 839 01:00:27,256 --> 01:00:30,459 This cousin of yours, you see him often? 840 01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:31,693 Once a month. 841 01:00:31,794 --> 01:00:34,696 That should cover any fresh news he has for you. 842 01:00:34,797 --> 01:00:36,331 Is he on your mother's side? 843 01:00:36,432 --> 01:00:38,200 No, sir. On my father's. 844 01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:40,402 Oh, on your father's side. I see. 845 01:00:40,503 --> 01:00:44,172 Lieutenant , you appear to have something on your mind. 846 01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:45,207 What 's bothering you? 847 01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:48,377 A couple of those photos you took on the stand were OK, 848 01:00:48,478 --> 01:00:49,778 but... 849 01:00:50,313 --> 01:00:52,981 this is the man I would trust. 850 01:00:53,616 --> 01:00:55,117 I'm flattered. 851 01:00:55,218 --> 01:00:57,619 If you wouldn't mind stepping over here. 852 01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:01,823 I think this will provide adequate privacy. 853 01:01:01,924 --> 01:01:03,792 A nice, comfortable seat. 854 01:01:03,893 --> 01:01:09,765 If you'd care to step in, and I'll be with you in a moment. 855 01:01:17,774 --> 01:01:20,375 Is there something in there, sir? 856 01:01:20,476 --> 01:01:24,279 Have no fear. It's just for display. Empty as a tomb. 857 01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:28,183 Yes. Do you always carry that paraphernalia with you? 858 01:01:28,785 --> 01:01:30,085 - Sir? - Those trappings. 859 01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:32,187 All the things that you pull out of your pockets. 860 01:01:33,823 --> 01:01:37,092 You know, that Sunset Boulevard thing, it is intriguing. 861 01:01:37,193 --> 01:01:39,294 - It is, isn't it? - Yeah. 862 01:01:39,462 --> 01:01:45,400 Oh, here we are. "12 noon Houston fun PH SB." 863 01:01:45,501 --> 01:01:48,236 None of the SBs we thought up. 864 01:01:48,337 --> 01:01:51,039 Now, phone. PH, don't tell me that that’s "phone"? 865 01:01:52,575 --> 01:01:53,642 Photo. 866 01:01:53,743 --> 01:01:55,877 Photo. Photo. Oh, yes. 867 01:01:56,012 --> 01:02:00,482 And you did show us a photo of a house. There must be some connection. 868 01:02:00,616 --> 01:02:01,783 I found the house. 869 01:02:01,884 --> 01:02:02,851 On Sunset Boulevard? 870 01:02:02,952 --> 01:02:05,287 There it was, sir, big as life. 871 01:02:05,455 --> 01:02:07,222 Fascinating. Did you thank your cousin? 872 01:02:07,323 --> 01:02:10,726 I did, sir. I gave him three golf balls, but... 873 01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:13,695 he'd never heard of Dorothea Page. 874 01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:18,667 Dorothea Page? 875 01:02:18,835 --> 01:02:22,337 It was her house, sir. She died there. 876 01:02:23,539 --> 01:02:26,641 Dorothea Page. One of my idols. 877 01:02:26,743 --> 01:02:28,810 Oh, she was one of the greats, sir. 878 01:02:29,312 --> 01:02:32,080 A detective, Big George Tuddell, he's an old friend of mine, 879 01:02:32,181 --> 01:02:36,118 he told me that when she died, 880 01:02:36,219 --> 01:02:39,721 there was a million-dollar diamond necklace on her body. 881 01:02:39,989 --> 01:02:42,424 I can remember the very night. 882 01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:46,762 It was a Sunday, September 19... 79. 883 01:02:46,863 --> 01:02:49,331 Her body was brought to the funeral home. 884 01:02:49,432 --> 01:02:50,932 - You were there? - Yes. 885 01:02:51,033 --> 01:02:52,701 - At the home? - Yes. 886 01:02:54,170 --> 01:02:55,504 I was there. 887 01:02:56,606 --> 01:02:58,039 Wow. 888 01:02:58,141 --> 01:03:00,475 It was after midnight. I was working late. 889 01:03:00,576 --> 01:03:02,511 We had four big funerals the following day. 890 01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:04,913 I had a lot of preparation to do. 891 01:03:05,014 --> 01:03:06,782 And then the phone rang. 892 01:03:06,883 --> 01:03:10,018 Dorothea Page had died, could the body be collected. 893 01:03:10,119 --> 01:03:13,955 So I sent the ambulance and I just sat there devastated, 894 01:03:14,056 --> 01:03:18,093 reliving my memories of her. 895 01:03:18,427 --> 01:03:21,029 Then the ambulance returned, the body was brought in and... 896 01:03:21,130 --> 01:03:25,000 then the phone rang again, and this time it was the police. 897 01:03:25,234 --> 01:03:27,369 They said that inadvertently... 898 01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:29,938 a diamond necklace had been left around her neck... 899 01:03:30,039 --> 01:03:34,176 before she was taken to the ambulance and had I found it? 900 01:03:34,277 --> 01:03:36,311 So I said, "Of course not." 901 01:03:36,412 --> 01:03:38,213 You hadn't pulled back the covers yet! 902 01:03:38,314 --> 01:03:42,217 Exactly. So I told them I'd go and check. 903 01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:43,585 So I... 904 01:03:44,353 --> 01:03:47,556 I pulled the cover back and no necklace. 905 01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:49,024 Uh-oh. 906 01:03:49,125 --> 01:03:52,060 So I went back to the phone and I told the police the bad news... 907 01:03:52,161 --> 01:03:55,096 and they said, "Don't leave the premises." 908 01:03:55,198 --> 01:03:57,332 I 'll bet they were there in five minutes. 909 01:03:57,533 --> 01:03:58,600 Two. 910 01:03:58,701 --> 01:04:00,235 You let them search the mortuary? 911 01:04:00,336 --> 01:04:01,303 I insisted on it! 912 01:04:01,671 --> 01:04:03,205 They never found the necklace? 913 01:04:03,306 --> 01:04:05,106 Not to this day. 914 01:04:05,274 --> 01:04:06,641 What a mystery, huh? 915 01:04:06,909 --> 01:04:08,009 Yeah. 916 01:04:09,478 --> 01:04:12,380 So what do you think really happened, sir? 917 01:04:12,481 --> 01:04:13,849 Who stole that necklace? 918 01:04:14,283 --> 01:04:18,520 In my opinion, to this day, I still believe it was the help. 919 01:04:20,356 --> 01:04:22,023 The help at her house. 920 01:04:23,526 --> 01:04:24,793 Why do you say that? 921 01:04:24,894 --> 01:04:26,528 Her negligee. 922 01:04:26,629 --> 01:04:29,030 It was stained, it was soiled. 923 01:04:29,165 --> 01:04:35,003 No decent human being would let such a lady of class be seen in a rag. 924 01:04:35,104 --> 01:04:37,706 Eric, you' re the man of the year. We' re waiting for you. 925 01:04:38,074 --> 01:04:40,976 I 'll be with you in a minute, yes. 926 01:04:41,811 --> 01:04:46,114 Well, my public awaits. Would you excuse me, Lieutenant? 927 01:04:46,215 --> 01:04:47,883 Oh, go right ahead, sir. 928 01:04:47,984 --> 01:04:50,452 Do you mind if I sit here for a moment? 929 01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:54,489 Something just struck me. I have to think. 930 01:04:55,124 --> 01:04:56,858 Make yourself at home. 931 01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:09,905 Everyone, silence. Silence! 932 01:05:10,773 --> 01:05:12,274 Thank you. 933 01:05:12,708 --> 01:05:15,610 Maestro, play! 934 01:05:18,614 --> 01:05:23,618 For he's a jolly good Undertaker 935 01:05:23,719 --> 01:05:31,826 For he's a jolly good undertaker 936 01:05:32,128 --> 01:05:41,903 This no one who dies can deny 937 01:05:42,305 --> 01:05:47,075 For he's a jolly good undertaker 938 01:05:48,344 --> 01:05:52,847 This no one who dies can deny 939 01:05:58,621 --> 01:06:01,589 - Drink, sir? - A glass of orange juice, please. No ice. 940 01:06:03,125 --> 01:06:06,061 Hey, hey. See the guy next to me? 941 01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:08,863 Wanna guess what he does for a living? 942 01:06:09,131 --> 01:06:10,432 Not really. 943 01:06:12,134 --> 01:06:14,269 Miss, you gotta understand, 944 01:06:14,603 --> 01:06:18,106 Sam hasn't been next to a warm body in years! 945 01:06:18,708 --> 01:06:20,208 I wonder why. 946 01:06:21,077 --> 01:06:22,744 What 's your name? 947 01:06:23,145 --> 01:06:24,212 Morticia? 948 01:06:25,715 --> 01:06:29,284 Gentlemen, gentlemen. Gentlemen! 949 01:06:29,852 --> 01:06:31,386 Thank you. What is your name? 950 01:06:31,487 --> 01:06:32,253 I'm Roberta, sir. 951 01:06:32,688 --> 01:06:36,624 Roberta, to make up for the charm and grace of my colleagues, 952 01:06:36,726 --> 01:06:39,627 kindly pour a round of drinks for the entire bar. 953 01:06:40,129 --> 01:06:41,696 That 'll be my treat. 954 01:06:42,965 --> 01:06:44,466 Does that include me, sir? 955 01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:56,444 Please. Thank you. 956 01:07:00,116 --> 01:07:02,884 Just kidding, sir. I'm still on duty. 957 01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:08,123 Sorry to bother you again, but I'd be very grateful if, uh... 958 01:07:09,792 --> 01:07:11,326 you could look at this. 959 01:07:11,427 --> 01:07:16,498 This is my night of honour. I would like to enjoy it. 960 01:07:16,599 --> 01:07:18,266 Oh, I understand that , sir. 961 01:07:18,367 --> 01:07:21,202 And I'm gonna be out of your hair in a jiffy. 962 01:07:23,506 --> 01:07:28,777 "Report house security officer. Woman in red dress. Big black hat." 963 01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:33,848 "Took photo of Dorothea Page house three days before funeral." 964 01:07:35,518 --> 01:07:37,619 Sounds like we both know who. 965 01:07:38,187 --> 01:07:40,955 Well, it had to be her, but why, sir? 966 01:07:41,057 --> 01:07:43,058 Why would she do that? 967 01:07:43,159 --> 01:07:44,192 No idea. 968 01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,895 It's very disturbing, isn't it? 969 01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:48,396 Very. 970 01:07:48,764 --> 01:07:52,600 I could really be on my way, sir, 971 01:07:52,701 --> 01:07:55,503 if you would kindly listen to this, too. 972 01:07:55,838 --> 01:07:57,705 Yes, I'll listen to it. 973 01:07:59,208 --> 01:08:02,444 I'm working on a story that 'll rattle a few skeletons. 974 01:08:02,545 --> 01:08:08,183 Watch this Sunday for grisly undertakings on Sunset Boulevard. 975 01:08:08,484 --> 01:08:13,655 Hmm. She certainly has a way with words. 976 01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:15,924 You' re talking about... 977 01:08:16,025 --> 01:08:19,027 "grisly undertakings on Sunset Boulevard", those words. 978 01:08:19,228 --> 01:08:21,596 I hope nothing serious has happened to Verity, 979 01:08:21,697 --> 01:08:25,033 but sometimes these tabloid journalists, 980 01:08:25,134 --> 01:08:28,436 they thrive on sensation. 981 01:08:28,604 --> 01:08:32,273 Right , sir. So what you figure is that... 982 01:08:32,374 --> 01:08:37,745 she was gonna do one of those sensationalized tabloid TV stories... 983 01:08:37,847 --> 01:08:40,115 on you and those missing diamonds. 984 01:08:40,216 --> 01:08:40,882 What do you think? 985 01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:44,919 I think she was. I do, yeah. Yeah. 986 01:08:45,020 --> 01:08:47,255 What about the photo of the house? 987 01:08:47,356 --> 01:08:52,560 Did she take that to show her viewing audience as part of the TV show? 988 01:08:52,761 --> 01:08:54,062 So that’s what you think? 989 01:08:54,263 --> 01:08:56,998 Uh... no, sir. 990 01:08:57,099 --> 01:09:00,034 She took that photograph... 991 01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:04,739 to show to somebody at the funeral. 992 01:09:06,475 --> 01:09:07,375 Really? 993 01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:14,015 Ladies and gentlemen, in honour of Eric Prince, mortician of the year, 994 01:09:14,116 --> 01:09:16,918 I dug up a little funeral medley for you all, 995 01:09:17,019 --> 01:09:19,487 and it goes a little like this. 996 01:09:22,391 --> 01:09:25,593 When a body meets a body 997 01:09:25,694 --> 01:09:27,829 in the dead of night 998 01:09:28,597 --> 01:09:31,900 Should a body hide a body? 999 01:09:32,234 --> 01:09:35,803 Or cremate it tonight? 1000 01:09:36,805 --> 01:09:41,176 After the wake is over 1001 01:09:41,277 --> 01:09:44,779 After we've all gone home 1002 01:09:45,614 --> 01:09:49,584 After the body's buried 1003 01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:53,655 Then we can all get stoned 1004 01:09:54,023 --> 01:10:02,163 He'll be buried six feet under when he goes 1005 01:10:02,531 --> 01:10:06,634 He'll be buried six feet under and it isn't any wonder 1006 01:10:06,735 --> 01:10:10,538 He'll be buried six feet under when he goes 1007 01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:13,074 Come on along, come on along 1008 01:10:13,175 --> 01:10:15,310 Eric Prince is the man of the year 1009 01:10:15,411 --> 01:10:17,579 Come on along, come on along 1010 01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:19,847 He's the reason for the beer 1011 01:10:19,949 --> 01:10:23,151 You know that he's the one we all are here to see 1012 01:10:23,252 --> 01:10:24,586 Dear Eric 1013 01:10:24,687 --> 01:10:26,854 Come on along, come on along 1014 01:10:26,956 --> 01:10:32,393 Let 's give the guy a cheer 1015 01:10:36,765 --> 01:10:39,934 Very nice, my friend. Very nice. Thank you. 1016 01:10:41,036 --> 01:10:42,270 Beautiful. 1017 01:10:42,905 --> 01:10:48,509 Much as I loved her, I never did see Dorothea Page's house. 1018 01:10:48,744 --> 01:10:50,345 Did anyone else recognize the photo? 1019 01:10:50,679 --> 01:10:53,114 No, sir. No. 1020 01:10:53,449 --> 01:10:54,515 Not a soul. 1021 01:10:54,750 --> 01:10:56,417 What a shame. 1022 01:10:56,852 --> 01:10:59,554 For a moment there, I thought you were onto something. 1023 01:11:02,157 --> 01:11:05,360 All right , ladies and gentlemen, let 's liven things up a bit. 1024 01:11:05,461 --> 01:11:09,597 This is a party after all. One, two, three, and... 1025 01:11:11,834 --> 01:11:13,101 Everybody, sing along. 1026 01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:16,137 You left this in the hearse. 1027 01:11:16,238 --> 01:11:19,240 I'm sure you'll wanna keep it with your other awards. 1028 01:11:19,341 --> 01:11:23,878 My cousin's got one just like it from the bowling league. 1029 01:11:23,979 --> 01:11:25,179 Thank you. 1030 01:11:25,814 --> 01:11:28,583 You'll have to forgive them, Lieutenant. 1031 01:11:28,684 --> 01:11:32,220 You know, sometimes our business can be, 1032 01:11:32,321 --> 01:11:35,590 shall I say, a little morbid. 1033 01:11:35,991 --> 01:11:39,360 Believe me, sir, if I had your job, 1034 01:11:39,461 --> 01:11:42,297 I'd be doing this every night! 1035 01:11:44,333 --> 01:11:47,969 If she was following this diamond-necklace caper, she didn't tell me. 1036 01:11:48,070 --> 01:11:49,837 And you checked everything here? 1037 01:11:49,938 --> 01:11:52,674 You bet. Not a mention of it anywhere. 1038 01:11:53,776 --> 01:11:55,777 But here's a really strange thing. 1039 01:11:56,278 --> 01:11:59,580 All the staff have them. Verity always carried hers. 1040 01:11:59,848 --> 01:12:00,782 What is it? 1041 01:12:00,883 --> 01:12:02,984 It's a phone pager combined. 1042 01:12:03,218 --> 01:12:05,386 Here's where you paged me to come over. 1043 01:12:05,521 --> 01:12:06,287 Oh, yeah. 1044 01:12:06,455 --> 01:12:08,690 "Lieutenant Columbo, 3:30." 1045 01:12:09,191 --> 01:12:11,659 Now, here's the really strange part. 1046 01:12:12,728 --> 01:12:16,397 When the public have gossip, it usually comes in here, email, 1047 01:12:16,498 --> 01:12:18,433 then it's transferred to her pager. 1048 01:12:18,534 --> 01:12:19,534 Now, 1049 01:12:20,536 --> 01:12:21,969 look at the screen. 1050 01:12:22,805 --> 01:12:23,971 What is "interrupted"? 1051 01:12:24,073 --> 01:12:26,974 Cut off, gone, dead. 1052 01:12:28,510 --> 01:12:31,913 What could have cut off her pager... 1053 01:12:32,748 --> 01:12:34,749 at 12:32? 1054 01:12:35,250 --> 01:12:36,884 I have no idea. 1055 01:12:38,854 --> 01:12:40,021 How's the pup? 1056 01:12:41,690 --> 01:12:45,093 That's our remembrance package. That costs $47,000. 1057 01:12:45,194 --> 01:12:46,794 Oh, I 'll remember that one! 1058 01:12:46,895 --> 01:12:48,696 Of course, we have other options. 1059 01:12:48,964 --> 01:12:52,100 Excuse me. Nice to see you again, Lieutenant. 1060 01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:55,303 Mrs. Lerby has come to take her husband to his final rest. 1061 01:12:56,739 --> 01:12:58,005 Our condolences. 1062 01:12:58,107 --> 01:12:59,741 Oh, jeez! 1063 01:12:59,875 --> 01:13:02,110 He's heavier now than when he was alive! 1064 01:13:02,311 --> 01:13:04,379 Have you selected a place for dispersal? 1065 01:13:04,813 --> 01:13:06,881 Well, he was the king of double knit , 1066 01:13:06,982 --> 01:13:09,517 so I think I 'll spread him over one of his stores. 1067 01:13:09,718 --> 01:13:12,019 I think that Mrs. Lerby is pulling our leg. 1068 01:13:12,654 --> 01:13:14,522 The ashes will be dispersed over the ocean... 1069 01:13:14,623 --> 01:13:16,791 by our helicopter at eight tonight. 1070 01:13:16,892 --> 01:13:19,927 Cremation, that might be the way to go. 1071 01:13:20,028 --> 01:13:22,997 There's no worms, but that’s hot , right? 1072 01:13:23,132 --> 01:13:25,266 Let me show you the procedure. Please. 1073 01:13:25,367 --> 01:13:26,868 - Oh, thank you. - After you. 1074 01:13:27,336 --> 01:13:30,972 I'm leaving now, but I'll be back in good time for the service. 1075 01:13:31,140 --> 01:13:32,707 Very fine, thank you. 1076 01:13:32,808 --> 01:13:35,009 Boy, this place is scary! 1077 01:13:35,110 --> 01:13:39,080 We would wheel you in on a gurney, just like this one, 1078 01:13:39,181 --> 01:13:42,150 and if I had to store you overnight , we'd put you in here. 1079 01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:43,217 It's refrigerated. 1080 01:13:43,519 --> 01:13:45,319 Is that thing always locked? 1081 01:13:45,721 --> 01:13:48,456 If a body is stored overnight , it is. 1082 01:13:48,557 --> 01:13:51,125 We wouldn't want it to run away on us! 1083 01:13:51,226 --> 01:13:55,363 No, sir. Do all the employees have keys? 1084 01:13:55,831 --> 01:13:59,000 Uh, just me. Good afternoon. Welcome to my parlour. 1085 01:13:59,234 --> 01:14:01,869 He's interested in the cremation procedure. 1086 01:14:02,070 --> 01:14:06,107 Is he? Gerald, I'm not too happy with the flower arrangement in the chapel. 1087 01:14:06,208 --> 01:14:09,544 Would you check it out? I'll take over. 1088 01:14:09,645 --> 01:14:11,679 Right away. Pleasure meeting you, Lieutenant. 1089 01:14:12,214 --> 01:14:14,248 I'll give you the tour. 1090 01:14:14,383 --> 01:14:20,188 Here we have an injector tube for blood and formaldehyde. 1091 01:14:20,522 --> 01:14:25,893 And here we have scalpels, needles and thread, 1092 01:14:25,994 --> 01:14:28,996 putty, Pan-Cake makeup powder. 1093 01:14:29,097 --> 01:14:31,532 A mortician not only has to be a surgeon, 1094 01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:35,503 but also part-beautician and part-makeup artist. 1095 01:14:35,604 --> 01:14:37,505 Now, this thing is called a choker. 1096 01:14:37,606 --> 01:14:40,241 You can take it. It's been sterilized. 1097 01:14:40,342 --> 01:14:46,047 We insert that into you, attach the tube, to extract your combustible gases. 1098 01:14:46,148 --> 01:14:50,051 It must be a funny job, sir, being a mortician. 1099 01:14:50,152 --> 01:14:53,788 It has its moments. That is an indispensable piece of equipment. 1100 01:14:53,889 --> 01:14:56,057 I don't know what I'd do without it. 1101 01:14:56,158 --> 01:14:57,992 So you undress the body, 1102 01:14:58,093 --> 01:15:00,828 then you do whatever you have to do with that stuff, 1103 01:15:00,929 --> 01:15:02,830 dress it again. Then what? 1104 01:15:03,065 --> 01:15:06,167 In the box, in the coffin, in the casket. 1105 01:15:06,268 --> 01:15:07,869 Like that one there, sir? 1106 01:15:07,970 --> 01:15:09,737 Yes, a very popular model. 1107 01:15:10,005 --> 01:15:11,472 Could two people fit in there? 1108 01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,474 Afraid not. What do you have in mind? 1109 01:15:13,709 --> 01:15:17,812 It's a crazy thought , sir. The wife and I , we do everything together. 1110 01:15:17,913 --> 01:15:21,649 Nah, forget it. Where's the oven? 1111 01:15:21,783 --> 01:15:22,950 The oven? 1112 01:15:26,822 --> 01:15:28,823 Here's our little oven. 1113 01:15:33,295 --> 01:15:36,297 What we do is up with the door... 1114 01:15:38,901 --> 01:15:43,905 in you pop, turn on the heat and away you go. 1115 01:15:44,006 --> 01:15:45,273 What heat would that be, sir? 1116 01:15:45,374 --> 01:15:46,741 1600 degrees. 1117 01:15:46,842 --> 01:15:49,677 And my wife doesn't even like sunburn. 1118 01:15:49,811 --> 01:15:52,446 When it's finished, is everything gone? 1119 01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,181 All gone. 1120 01:15:54,283 --> 01:15:55,917 And one person can run the oven? 1121 01:15:56,018 --> 01:15:57,051 Yes. 1122 01:15:58,353 --> 01:16:00,321 A whole body can fit into one of those? 1123 01:16:00,422 --> 01:16:02,390 A human being is mostly water. 1124 01:16:02,491 --> 01:16:07,495 A man of your size would probably burn down to about 5lbs. 1125 01:16:07,729 --> 01:16:09,330 Oh, I forgot something. 1126 01:16:09,531 --> 01:16:13,868 Yes, the Dan Riley, uh... the Dan Riley ceremony. 1127 01:16:14,069 --> 01:16:18,105 These are his dancing shoes. They'll be buried with him. 1128 01:16:18,206 --> 01:16:19,640 Would you care to see? 1129 01:16:19,741 --> 01:16:21,642 Yes, I would, sir. Yeah. 1130 01:16:23,378 --> 01:16:25,713 Everything would burn in that oven? 1131 01:16:25,814 --> 01:16:27,381 Of course, there are exceptions. 1132 01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:31,953 You can't cremate pacemakers, for instance. They' re made of titanium. 1133 01:16:32,054 --> 01:16:35,089 Mr. Houston, he didn't have one, did he? 1134 01:16:35,190 --> 01:16:36,057 No. 1135 01:16:36,158 --> 01:16:38,225 That's much better, Gerald. 1136 01:16:38,327 --> 01:16:42,063 You and Hugo can go now, but do check everything before the service. 1137 01:16:42,297 --> 01:16:44,799 - It shall be done, sir. - Thank you. Hugo. 1138 01:16:44,900 --> 01:16:46,434 Now, after the service, 1139 01:16:46,535 --> 01:16:50,438 these are placed in the casket before the casket is closed. 1140 01:16:50,539 --> 01:16:54,342 Sir, in case you were wondering, Miss Chandler, 1141 01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:55,810 she didn't wear a pacemaker. 1142 01:16:55,911 --> 01:16:57,011 I wasn't wondering. 1143 01:16:57,112 --> 01:17:01,749 Yeah, but she did have one of these. This is a... a pager. 1144 01:17:01,850 --> 01:17:05,252 She had this model, sir. Oh, she carried this everywhere, 1145 01:17:05,354 --> 01:17:08,089 probably in her pocket , and this would tell her... 1146 01:17:08,190 --> 01:17:12,126 when she received email messages from the computer. 1147 01:17:12,227 --> 01:17:16,464 And on the day she disappeared, she received messages, oh, let 's see... 1148 01:17:16,565 --> 01:17:19,934 11:13 and 11:57, 1149 01:17:20,035 --> 01:17:23,170 but then, at 12:32... 1150 01:17:23,939 --> 01:17:25,873 the pager cut off. 1151 01:17:26,341 --> 01:17:28,309 No more signals. Kaput. 1152 01:17:28,410 --> 01:17:29,477 What do you think caused that? 1153 01:17:29,578 --> 01:17:34,849 Oh-ho! Ah! That is a burning question, sir. 1154 01:17:34,950 --> 01:17:36,317 I think she was dead. 1155 01:17:36,418 --> 01:17:37,118 Really? 1156 01:17:37,352 --> 01:17:40,655 Yeah. I think she was killed right here at the Houston service. 1157 01:17:40,756 --> 01:17:42,323 What would the killer do with the body? 1158 01:17:42,424 --> 01:17:45,192 He would get rid of it. He'd cremate it. 1159 01:17:45,293 --> 01:17:48,763 There was only Chuck Houston's cremation that day. I did it. 1160 01:17:48,930 --> 01:17:52,366 Yes, so the killer would have had to have switched the bodies, 1161 01:17:52,467 --> 01:17:54,902 switched Chuck Houston with Miss Chandler. 1162 01:17:55,203 --> 01:17:57,104 I see. So if he had switched the bodies, 1163 01:17:57,205 --> 01:17:59,674 that would explain the pager going kaput. 1164 01:17:59,841 --> 01:18:02,209 Yes, sir. It would. 1165 01:18:02,310 --> 01:18:06,280 I see. Well, since there was only one cremation that day and I performed it , 1166 01:18:06,415 --> 01:18:09,517 that would make me the murderer. 1167 01:18:09,618 --> 01:18:13,220 Do tell me, do you have any bodies? 1168 01:18:13,321 --> 01:18:14,922 No, sir, I don't. 1169 01:18:15,157 --> 01:18:18,626 So if you don't have any bodies, you can't prove there was a switch. 1170 01:18:18,794 --> 01:18:20,594 No, sir, I can't. 1171 01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:22,196 No bodies, no case. 1172 01:18:22,297 --> 01:18:24,899 Mm-hm. I suppose so. 1173 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:27,902 That's the tricky thing about burning questions, 1174 01:18:28,003 --> 01:18:33,541 once they' re burned, they' re just ashes. Ashes! 1175 01:18:34,376 --> 01:18:35,976 Have you gone? 1176 01:18:39,381 --> 01:18:40,848 That's a nice display, ma'am. 1177 01:18:41,950 --> 01:18:44,085 My housekeeper made that. 1178 01:18:44,186 --> 01:18:48,155 If I'd done it , they'd all be cockeyed, like me. 1179 01:18:48,423 --> 01:18:50,191 Nice place you got here. 1180 01:18:50,592 --> 01:18:54,495 Just a little ol' ranch house. 800 acres. 1181 01:18:55,330 --> 01:18:59,834 Chuck just craved it for his horses, like I crave my bourbon. 1182 01:19:00,202 --> 01:19:01,802 Oh, my God! 1183 01:19:02,037 --> 01:19:03,003 Are you all right , ma'am? 1184 01:19:04,506 --> 01:19:08,976 I'm psychotic, Lieutenant. I should get disaster aid, like Chuck. 1185 01:19:09,177 --> 01:19:12,213 Poor darling, he was wounded so many times in the war. 1186 01:19:12,681 --> 01:19:15,182 Oh, you should've seen his x-rays. They were grisly. 1187 01:19:15,283 --> 01:19:17,318 He only mounted one, the one on the wall. 1188 01:19:17,919 --> 01:19:19,987 The one that made him limp till the day he died. 1189 01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:23,524 You wanna know why I'm like this? 1190 01:19:23,625 --> 01:19:27,394 Because when you called and said you'd be here in an hour, 1191 01:19:27,496 --> 01:19:30,364 I just had to help myself to a few cocktails... 1192 01:19:30,465 --> 01:19:32,032 because I know why you' re here. 1193 01:19:32,334 --> 01:19:34,902 I just wanted to ask you a few questions. 1194 01:19:35,303 --> 01:19:36,370 All right. 1195 01:19:36,772 --> 01:19:39,206 I confess. I confess! 1196 01:19:39,307 --> 01:19:41,842 I throw myself on the mercy of the court. I did it! 1197 01:19:42,644 --> 01:19:43,844 Did what , ma'am? 1198 01:19:44,112 --> 01:19:47,715 I threw Chuck's ashes over the sign, the Hollywood sign. 1199 01:19:48,049 --> 01:19:51,619 Oh, well, that’s against the law, ma'am, and... 1200 01:19:52,654 --> 01:19:54,321 that’s not... 1201 01:19:57,859 --> 01:19:59,226 good. 1202 01:19:59,427 --> 01:20:03,697 Oh. I only did it because I thought he'd like it. 1203 01:20:04,766 --> 01:20:06,133 Am I gonna do time? 1204 01:20:06,635 --> 01:20:10,538 You told me the best confession ever. 1205 01:20:10,772 --> 01:20:13,607 I did? Are you gonna arrest me? 1206 01:20:13,708 --> 01:20:16,143 I'm going to arrest you, ma'am, 1207 01:20:16,244 --> 01:20:19,914 like no one has ever been arrested before. 1208 01:20:22,450 --> 01:20:26,854 He was a great artist , ladies and gentlemen. 1209 01:20:27,789 --> 01:20:30,624 And now a special tribute... 1210 01:20:30,725 --> 01:20:33,494 that I know Dan would appreciate. 1211 01:20:49,477 --> 01:20:51,078 Beautiful. 1212 01:20:51,613 --> 01:20:53,614 Just beautiful. 1213 01:20:53,715 --> 01:20:54,915 Thank you. 1214 01:20:55,450 --> 01:20:58,052 But I didn't come here for the service, sir. 1215 01:20:58,153 --> 01:20:59,653 That's a pity. 1216 01:21:00,722 --> 01:21:03,757 But I have to speak to you, sir, tonight. 1217 01:21:03,859 --> 01:21:05,860 This is not the time, nor the place. 1218 01:21:05,961 --> 01:21:07,528 When and where, sir? 1219 01:21:07,629 --> 01:21:09,463 This service will be over soon. 1220 01:21:09,564 --> 01:21:12,399 I'll be working late. In my office at nine. 1221 01:21:12,500 --> 01:21:14,702 That should fit in very well. At nine? 1222 01:21:14,803 --> 01:21:16,604 Yes. I 'll leave the gate open. 1223 01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:20,541 You make a left , follow the building and my office is on the right. 1224 01:21:20,642 --> 01:21:21,609 There's a sign. 1225 01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:24,845 Left , right , a sign, and you'll be there? 1226 01:21:24,946 --> 01:21:26,680 - Yes! - Thank you very much, sir, 1227 01:21:26,781 --> 01:21:29,183 And I'm sorry about the intrusion. 1228 01:21:29,284 --> 01:21:30,284 Yes! 1229 01:21:34,522 --> 01:21:38,492 You sure know how to send somebody away in style. 1230 01:21:57,245 --> 01:21:58,279 Come in. 1231 01:22:00,815 --> 01:22:02,950 Good evening. Right on time. 1232 01:22:03,051 --> 01:22:05,152 Oh, tea for two. 1233 01:22:05,253 --> 01:22:08,789 I thought it might be appropriate after that service you attended today. 1234 01:22:08,890 --> 01:22:12,459 I hope you... Pull up a chair. I hope you like tea. 1235 01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:13,861 Oh, it's my wife's favourite, sir. 1236 01:22:13,962 --> 01:22:16,630 Splendid. And help yourself to milk and sugar. 1237 01:22:16,731 --> 01:22:19,533 Oh, very nice, sir. Very nice indeed. 1238 01:22:19,634 --> 01:22:23,637 These tongs, very nice. My wife, she uses a spoon. 1239 01:22:23,738 --> 01:22:24,872 Does she? 1240 01:22:26,207 --> 01:22:28,676 Oh, very nice. 1241 01:22:31,446 --> 01:22:34,081 Nice. Never tasted anything like it. 1242 01:22:34,349 --> 01:22:35,649 Darjeeling. 1243 01:22:36,117 --> 01:22:39,720 I 've been chasing guys like you for 25 years. 1244 01:22:40,689 --> 01:22:43,390 Caught every one, except you. 1245 01:22:44,025 --> 01:22:45,159 I hate to lose. 1246 01:22:45,260 --> 01:22:46,460 So do I. 1247 01:22:46,995 --> 01:22:49,730 You heard the one about the wealthy old lady? 1248 01:22:49,831 --> 01:22:52,032 Hated her kids, but loved the dog. 1249 01:22:52,133 --> 01:22:53,434 I'm afraid not. 1250 01:22:53,535 --> 01:22:56,437 The dog always wore a rhinestone collar. 1251 01:22:56,538 --> 01:22:59,873 And when the old lady died, the kids couldn't find the money. 1252 01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:01,275 It disappeared. 1253 01:23:02,043 --> 01:23:04,578 Eight years later, the dog died. 1254 01:23:04,779 --> 01:23:09,149 It was cremated. Nothing left except a mound of ashes... 1255 01:23:09,250 --> 01:23:13,988 and a $450,000 pile of diamonds. 1256 01:23:15,023 --> 01:23:21,061 So that wasn't a rhinestone collar the dog had on. No, sir. 1257 01:23:21,696 --> 01:23:27,101 No. That was a $450,000 diamond collar. 1258 01:23:27,302 --> 01:23:29,003 Fascinating. 1259 01:23:29,771 --> 01:23:32,573 You see, sir, diamonds don't burn. 1260 01:23:33,341 --> 01:23:36,810 But you already know that , sir. 1261 01:23:36,911 --> 01:23:42,316 That's why you took Dorothea Page's necklace off her dead neck, 1262 01:23:42,450 --> 01:23:46,453 opened her mouth and dropped it down her throat , 1263 01:23:46,554 --> 01:23:49,423 so you could cremate the body the next day... 1264 01:23:49,524 --> 01:23:53,694 and take the diamonds out of the oven and put 'em in your pocket. 1265 01:23:53,795 --> 01:23:58,999 Why am I telling you this? Because it makes me feel good. 1266 01:23:59,434 --> 01:24:02,503 I gotta get some satisfaction out of this. 1267 01:24:02,604 --> 01:24:04,638 I'm gonna make an arrest tonight , 1268 01:24:05,073 --> 01:24:09,209 but I can't lay a finger on you, sir. 1269 01:24:09,310 --> 01:24:11,845 I haven't understood one word, 1270 01:24:11,946 --> 01:24:15,282 but that last part about the finger, I like that. 1271 01:24:15,650 --> 01:24:19,053 It sounded good. What 's that thing doing here tonight? 1272 01:24:19,154 --> 01:24:21,789 - Oh, that’s gonna land, sir. - Is it? 1273 01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:23,490 Yeah, that’s landing. 1274 01:24:23,591 --> 01:24:25,059 I 'll go check on it. 1275 01:24:25,160 --> 01:24:27,428 Uh, sir, hold on just one minute. 1276 01:24:27,529 --> 01:24:30,497 Let me take another sip of this beautiful tea. 1277 01:24:31,166 --> 01:24:35,102 Oh, these tongs, sir, they' re really special. 1278 01:24:35,203 --> 01:24:38,472 Why don't you keep them? Save your wife using the spoon. 1279 01:24:38,573 --> 01:24:41,108 Thank you very much. That's very nice. 1280 01:24:41,209 --> 01:24:45,112 Oh, yeah, these, uh... They could come in useful. 1281 01:24:45,613 --> 01:24:46,980 Are you ready? 1282 01:24:51,653 --> 01:24:53,287 I'm ready now, sir. 1283 01:24:54,155 --> 01:24:57,825 Hey, guys, switch on your headlights and those sidelights! 1284 01:24:57,926 --> 01:24:59,827 Let 's get some light on this thing. 1285 01:24:59,928 --> 01:25:01,361 Yes, Lieutenant. 1286 01:25:01,596 --> 01:25:03,130 What 's Mrs. Houston doing here? 1287 01:25:03,231 --> 01:25:05,299 That lady is my arrest. 1288 01:25:05,400 --> 01:25:06,500 Why? 1289 01:25:06,734 --> 01:25:11,138 She spread ashes over the Hollywood Hills. That's against the law. 1290 01:25:11,239 --> 01:25:13,273 Oh, Eric, I 've been such a fool. 1291 01:25:13,374 --> 01:25:14,975 Yes, it's all going to be all right. 1292 01:25:15,076 --> 01:25:16,110 Maybe, 1293 01:25:16,211 --> 01:25:19,313 if you'll tell the judge that the warning about it's against the law... 1294 01:25:19,414 --> 01:25:21,482 is in very fine print. 1295 01:25:21,583 --> 01:25:23,217 If you'll do that , that could help her. 1296 01:25:23,318 --> 01:25:24,184 It shall be done. 1297 01:25:24,285 --> 01:25:27,554 All right. Ma'am, return to the police car. 1298 01:25:27,655 --> 01:25:28,856 Now, go. 1299 01:25:29,691 --> 01:25:32,626 Just precisely what is going on here? 1300 01:25:32,727 --> 01:25:35,028 Oh, it 'll all be all right , sir. 1301 01:25:35,130 --> 01:25:36,897 Just to verify, 1302 01:25:36,998 --> 01:25:41,068 did you cremate Mr. Houston at 12:20pm Thursday afternoon? 1303 01:25:41,169 --> 01:25:41,969 I did. 1304 01:25:42,070 --> 01:25:43,470 Very good. 1305 01:25:44,205 --> 01:25:47,074 Uh, you, sir! The pilot! 1306 01:25:47,175 --> 01:25:48,809 They tell me they call you Joe. 1307 01:25:48,910 --> 01:25:51,778 Come on over here, Joe, and bring that bag with you. 1308 01:25:52,046 --> 01:25:54,882 Are you from the Prince Funeral Home? 1309 01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,016 Yes, sir, I am. 1310 01:25:56,117 --> 01:25:59,086 And on Thursday, did this woman, Mrs. Houston, 1311 01:25:59,187 --> 01:26:01,288 bring ashes aboard your copter... 1312 01:26:01,389 --> 01:26:03,757 and tell you to fly over the Hollywood sign? 1313 01:26:03,858 --> 01:26:04,758 Yes, sir, she did. 1314 01:26:04,859 --> 01:26:07,928 Did she dump those ashes over the sign? 1315 01:26:08,029 --> 01:26:08,729 She did. 1316 01:26:08,830 --> 01:26:12,132 I 'll take that bag, thank you. Did you report that? 1317 01:26:12,400 --> 01:26:13,634 No, sir, I didn't. 1318 01:26:13,735 --> 01:26:17,804 All right. Report to the squad car, please. Thank you very much. 1319 01:26:19,841 --> 01:26:24,278 The name "Lerby" written here, did you write that when you cremated the body? 1320 01:26:24,379 --> 01:26:25,946 Yes, I did, but how the blazes... 1321 01:26:26,047 --> 01:26:29,616 I radioed the pilot , ordered him back. 1322 01:26:29,717 --> 01:26:31,652 His licence is in jeopardy. 1323 01:26:32,187 --> 01:26:35,322 Ma'am, I'm Lieutenant Columbo. We met this morning. 1324 01:26:35,423 --> 01:26:37,958 I gotta confiscate your husband's ashes. 1325 01:26:38,393 --> 01:26:40,460 Oh, no. He's like a bad penny. 1326 01:26:40,562 --> 01:26:43,096 Was your husband a war hero? 1327 01:26:43,198 --> 01:26:45,632 War hero! He was never in any war. 1328 01:26:45,733 --> 01:26:46,833 Never served? 1329 01:26:46,935 --> 01:26:49,269 No, he was 4-F, like everything in his life. 1330 01:26:49,370 --> 01:26:50,470 Never decorated? 1331 01:26:50,572 --> 01:26:51,538 Of course not. 1332 01:26:51,639 --> 01:26:55,842 Cos I'm thinking of Chuck Houston, who was not only a movie idol, 1333 01:26:55,944 --> 01:26:57,911 he was a legitimate war hero. 1334 01:26:58,012 --> 01:27:02,716 Fought all across the Pacific, was wounded, hospitalized, endured pain. 1335 01:27:02,817 --> 01:27:06,353 You should see his x-rays. He even had 'em framed. 1336 01:27:06,521 --> 01:27:09,489 Walked with a limp to the day of his death. 1337 01:27:09,591 --> 01:27:11,325 Now, Mr. Prince, 1338 01:27:11,426 --> 01:27:15,629 if you did cremate Chuck Houston on Thursday, as you claim, 1339 01:27:15,730 --> 01:27:19,766 when Mrs. Houston spread those ashes over the Hollywood Hills, 1340 01:27:19,867 --> 01:27:23,837 Chuck and everything with him ended up on that hillside. 1341 01:27:23,938 --> 01:27:25,539 But if you didn't... 1342 01:27:26,274 --> 01:27:29,977 if, instead, his body was switched... 1343 01:28:02,510 --> 01:28:04,945 I thought these might be useful. 1344 01:28:17,859 --> 01:28:20,794 Chuck Houston had a piece of shrapnel in him. 1345 01:28:21,262 --> 01:28:26,633 A piece of shrapnel made of stainless steel, hardest metal on earth, sir. 1346 01:28:26,734 --> 01:28:30,570 Like titanium, it won't melt if you put 2,000 degrees on it. 1347 01:28:30,672 --> 01:28:33,874 Hard evidence, very distinctive shape. 1348 01:28:33,975 --> 01:28:35,642 I think the chances that... 1349 01:28:35,743 --> 01:28:40,714 this piece of metal will match Mr. Houston's x-rays are good. 1350 01:28:40,848 --> 01:28:43,750 Now, sir, perhaps you can explain... 1351 01:28:43,851 --> 01:28:46,153 how a piece of Mr. Houston's... 1352 01:28:46,254 --> 01:28:49,856 50-year-old war record ended up in the urn... 1353 01:28:49,957 --> 01:28:55,228 of a 48-year-old leisurewear importer from Sherman Oaks. 1354 01:28:55,797 --> 01:28:57,564 Very good. 1355 01:28:57,965 --> 01:29:00,334 Very, very good. 1356 01:29:02,170 --> 01:29:04,104 Would you excuse me, please? 1357 01:29:04,205 --> 01:29:06,306 Where are you going, Mr. Prince? 1358 01:29:07,775 --> 01:29:10,444 I'm going to the police car. 1359 01:29:10,645 --> 01:29:12,879 I'm wondering whether we should travel separately, 1360 01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:15,582 or perhaps you'd care to join me. 1361 01:29:15,683 --> 01:29:18,618 Well, that’s up to you, sir. It's, uh... 1362 01:29:19,320 --> 01:29:20,887 your funeral. 103155

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