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1
00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:05,304
Chuck Houston was the kind of man...
2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:10,743
who wore his medals on the inside
as well as the outside.
3
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:18,083
Chuck was shot 178 times in the movies.
4
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:21,387
But it was in World War II...
5
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:24,690
that Chuck became a real hero.
6
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,693
He was a real star.
7
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:32,231
He was wounded when
without regard for personal safety,
8
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:38,037
he heroically thrust himself
between an exploding grenade...
9
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,539
and his platoon,
10
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:45,711
and, uh, saved most of their lives.
11
00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:52,117
This was in the South Pacific,
earning him the Purple Heart.
12
00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:55,554
You' re 93 seconds too long.
13
00:00:55,855 --> 00:00:56,822
Oh, damn!
14
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:57,856
We'll fix it.
15
00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:00,793
You run a tight funeral.
16
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,662
Well, the service ends at 12:15,
we close casket ,
17
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:08,500
and if you can cut 93 seconds
from your tribute, we'll be home free.
18
00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:11,837
I 'll work on it.
Tomorrow is another day.
19
00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:13,105
Goodbye, Mr. Prince.
20
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:15,307
Thank you, Fred. Good night.
21
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:18,677
I like the display, Gerald. Thank you.
22
00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:19,545
Thank you, sir.
23
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,915
Line two, Verity Chandler.
It's on hold.
24
00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:25,584
Rita, Gerald, you can go.
I'll lock up.
25
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:26,752
- Good night.
- Good night , Mr. Prince.
26
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:27,820
Good night.
27
00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:32,558
Verity, darling, did you get my
message about the Houston funeral?
28
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,960
I always get the message, lover.
29
00:01:35,061 --> 00:01:37,596
Eric, we have to have a private chat ,
30
00:01:37,697 --> 00:01:39,798
just the two of us. Strictly personal.
31
00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,067
A chat? What about?
32
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:44,002
There will be a funeral service,
33
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,071
of course, as always, but...
34
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:47,806
we'll have one in private,
35
00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:50,375
all right? Just before.
36
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,744
Just the two of us.
37
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:04,223
"Hollywood Heartbeat",Sunday Promo, G102.
38
00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:16,401
Verity, what juicy tidbits do you haveon "Hollywood Heartbeat" this weekend?
39
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:17,169
What 's new?
40
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:20,439
A story that will rattlea few skeletons.
41
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:26,111
Watch this Sunday for grislyundertakings on Sunset Boulevard.
42
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:31,250
And if you've got gossip,remember, you can email me at :
43
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:36,788
vicious_rumors_@hollywood_heartbeat. com
44
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:18,597
Roger, darling, it's me at 11:30.
The liquor store just delivered...
45
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,133
the booze for the Sunday party.
46
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:25,637
Listen, email me that revised
guest list as soon as possible.
47
00:03:25,738 --> 00:03:27,139
Now, page me.
48
00:04:04,777 --> 00:04:06,178
All right.
49
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,426
The Haverland Prince Funeral Home.
50
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:46,451
Suzanne.
You meant a great deal to Chuck.
51
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:49,788
How are you bearing up, Mrs. Houston?
52
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,624
Oh, Mr. Prince. Would you excuse me?
53
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:55,394
- I'd like to ask you a favour.
- Yes.
54
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,897
Could you sit with me
in the first row?
55
00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:01,700
You may sit with anyone you choose.
56
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:05,270
Please sit with me.
You have been such a comfort.
57
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:06,605
It 'll be my pleasure.
58
00:05:08,675 --> 00:05:11,810
Oh, my, look at the red death.
59
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:56,021
Excuse me, sir.
60
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:59,091
Your attorney is here to speak
to you about something urgent.
61
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,025
Mm-hm.
62
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,229
Don't forget , service starts at noon.
63
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:05,364
Yes, sir.
64
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:11,036
Eric. I'm sorry, but the purchase
agreement has to be signed today.
65
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:16,007
Not to worry, Henry. I have it ready
for you. Shall we take the short cut?
66
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:25,417
My chamber of horrors.
Look, but don't touch.
67
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:35,927
It's on my desk.
Here we are, signed and delivered.
68
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:39,765
You' re now the proud owner of your
24th funeral home. Congratulations.
69
00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:44,770
I think we should also congratulate
my dear old friend Mr. Haverland.
70
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,472
He would be proud of his protégé.
71
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,175
Yes. I really must be going.
72
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:52,277
You'd like to go the way
of the living.
73
00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:53,845
If you don't mind.
74
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:56,248
It's always a pleasure, Henry.
75
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,283
If you have any problems, call me.
76
00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,419
Absolutely. Bye-bye for now.
77
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,367
Oh, hi, babe!
78
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:17,335
Verity.
79
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,671
You left your door unlocked.
Unlike you.
80
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,673
I thought you'd gone.
81
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:25,310
I checked the parking lot.
Your car wasn't there.
82
00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:29,147
No. Well, it's in for service.
I had a taxi drop me today.
83
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:32,851
Maybe you can take me home when
this is over, just like old times.
84
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:36,421
Nice joke, darling, but I only have
a minute. What do you want?
85
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:38,557
I want your advice on a story
I'm working on...
86
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:40,692
for Sunday night 's broadcast.
87
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:44,596
It's about a once-handsome,
never-was actor from England,
88
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:48,533
didn't make it here either, who
gets a job in a Hollywood mortuary.
89
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:53,305
The mortician takes a liking to him
and the actor becomes a mortician himself,
90
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:55,674
only our boy undertaker gets greedy.
91
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:59,478
He realizes morticians can get to
the bodies before anyone else,
92
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:03,949
can find telltale traces
of homosexuality, affairs, drugs.
93
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:07,552
So he begins selling his information
to a television reporter,
94
00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:11,056
who also becomes his
oh-so-secret lover,
95
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,558
until he unceremoniously dumps her.
96
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,393
That's old news.
97
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,262
Oh, this is even older.
98
00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:20,031
I shot this just a few days ago.
99
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:21,833
It's the Dorothea Page mansion.
100
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:25,437
I knew you'd recognize it.
Just as I know you'll remember...
101
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:30,509
what was around Dorothea's neck when
her body arrived here some years ago.
102
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,945
Eric, what ratings do you think
I'll get...
103
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:35,881
for a story about
a Hollywood mortician...
104
00:08:35,982 --> 00:08:39,117
who steals a diamond necklace
from a dead movie queen...
105
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,586
so he can buy into a fancy mortuary?
106
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:42,854
Sounds fascinating.
107
00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:43,955
Doesn't it?
108
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:47,325
I'm hot on your trail
and getting warmer by the minute.
109
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,529
I know your games. You' re telling me
this so that I 'll...
110
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,264
dig up dirt for you again.
111
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,467
Darling, no! You' re not listening.
This isn't blackmail.
112
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:58,303
I'm broadcasting
this Sunday night at eight , live.
113
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:02,307
I'm even having a party
at my house to celebrate.
114
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:06,011
This is my big surprise scoop
of the year.
115
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:07,679
Haven't told a soul.
116
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:09,948
I wanted you to be the first to know.
117
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:11,483
Thank you.
118
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,618
You' re going to lose everything.
119
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:18,790
Eric Prince, you used to be
every widow's bedroom pet.
120
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:22,561
I only came by to make sure
you tune in Sunday night ,
121
00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:26,765
but it was worth it
just to see that knot in your gut.
122
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:31,770
Imagine this projected behind me...
123
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:38,710
with the headlines, "Grisly
undertakings on Sunset Boulevard".
124
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:40,845
Hm?
125
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:46,585
You burned me once, baby.
Now I'm going to burn you.
126
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,392
Mr. Prince?
127
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:42,007
Miss Rita, are the
flower arrangements all right?
128
00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:43,942
Mr. Prince is delighted.
Thank you, Hugo.
129
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,744
I'm happy. Thank you.
130
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,217
Oh, it's getting close.
131
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:57,188
I was just checking the new equipment.
Just lead on, would you?
132
00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:24,149
Chuck Houston was the kind of man...
133
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:27,886
who wore his medals on the inside...
134
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:30,188
as well as the outside.
135
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:36,094
Chuck was shot 178 times...
136
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:39,898
"Grisly undertakingson Sunset Boulevard".
137
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:42,767
You burned me once, baby.
138
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,737
Now I'm going to burn you.
139
00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:50,275
... saved most of their lives.
140
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,877
This was in the South Pacific,
141
00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:56,848
earning him the Purple Heart.
142
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:02,053
May we always remember him.
143
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:15,700
I 'll send one of our cars,
have you here at four o'clock.
144
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:18,903
All will be ready.
I shall take care of this personally.
145
00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:20,438
Thank you.
146
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,475
Kathy, take care of your aunt ,
would you, please?
147
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,343
Oh, Kathy.
148
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,713
Eric?
149
00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:50,882
Here's your dear Chuck.
150
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:51,883
Thank you.
151
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:55,954
And, of course, we mustn't forget this.
152
00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:35,526
I see it. Stop. Just stop right here.
Is it all right to open the door?
153
00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,773
Happy trails!
154
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,219
Verity.
155
00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:12,256
My darling Verity.
156
00:18:25,537 --> 00:18:28,840
Let 's see what we have here.
157
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,248
'97.
158
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:40,918
Change to 8.
159
00:18:43,922 --> 00:18:45,022
And...
160
00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:50,128
where are you, Mr. Prince?
161
00:18:50,496 --> 00:18:51,762
There we are.
162
00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:54,065
Mm-hm.
163
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:58,569
Bye-bye, Mr. Prince.
164
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,143
And changed to...
165
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,285
Mm-hm.
166
00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:17,021
Hmm.
167
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:24,862
Adios, Mr. Prince. Hello, cocaine.
168
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:29,600
There we are. Change back.
169
00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:32,703
Good.
170
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:22,386
I 've come with my condolences.
171
00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:25,289
Thank you, darling.
I'll get the glasses.
172
00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,624
Thank you.
173
00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:36,100
I don't care what your procedures are, Sergeant.
I 've made a ton of phone calls.
174
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:39,203
Believe me, Verity Chandler
has friends in high places...
175
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:44,008
and nobody, I mean no one, knows
what the hell happened to her. Really!
176
00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:47,712
We have this party on Sunday.
The whole thing's bloody impossible.
177
00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:52,149
Sir, we' re doing the best we can
to locate Miss Chandler,
178
00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:55,686
but as things stand
it's a missing-persons case.
179
00:20:55,787 --> 00:20:58,456
"Missing persons"?
Really, Sergeant?
180
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:02,193
"Missing persons" is like
being seated next to the kitchen.
181
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:04,495
I would like some serious action.
182
00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:07,932
Oh! Hey!
183
00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:10,167
What 's up with you?
184
00:21:11,069 --> 00:21:14,739
Hi, Sarge. Excuse me, I 've gotta
get this hound under control.
185
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:20,411
Are you gonna be good or are you gonna
embarrass me in front of the sergeant?
186
00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:23,814
Look at that.
Will you look at that?
187
00:21:24,449 --> 00:21:27,084
I was on my way to the vet 's
when you called.
188
00:21:27,185 --> 00:21:31,489
This guy hasn't been feeling too good
this week, kinda listless.
189
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,692
Look at him now.
What 's sparking you?
190
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,995
Thanks for stopping by.
I know it's not a homicide,
191
00:21:38,096 --> 00:21:40,031
but Mr. Roger Gambles,
192
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,267
the missing lady's secretary,
is somewhat concerned.
193
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:44,835
You can say that again.
194
00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:48,172
All right. OK. He'll be all right.
195
00:21:48,273 --> 00:21:51,542
Uh... Oh, boy.
196
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,911
Excuse me, what 's this guy's name?
197
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:55,980
Oh, Roger Gambles.
198
00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:03,554
Mr. Gambler, glad to see you, sir.
199
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,489
Sergeant Degarmo been treating you
all right?
200
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:07,458
Gambles. It's Roger Gambles.
201
00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:09,393
Oh, sorry, sir.
202
00:22:09,628 --> 00:22:11,595
You' re a... you' re a detective?
203
00:22:11,697 --> 00:22:14,565
Yes, I guess I am.
204
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,467
Uh-huh. Can you listen?
205
00:22:16,568 --> 00:22:18,502
Oh, yes, sir.
206
00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:21,238
The last time I heard from her...
207
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,773
Excuse me.
208
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,788
Yeah, he'll be all right.
Yes, sir?
209
00:22:37,889 --> 00:22:39,957
The last time I heard from her was...
210
00:22:40,058 --> 00:22:41,592
From who?
211
00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:45,896
From whom.
My employer, Miss Verity Chandler.
212
00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:49,467
The missing lady.
The reason we' re all here.
213
00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:53,003
Last time I heard from her
was yesterday morning about 11:30.
214
00:22:53,171 --> 00:22:55,206
She's having a party
on Sunday and...
215
00:22:55,307 --> 00:22:57,808
asked me to email her
the revised guest list.
216
00:22:58,276 --> 00:23:02,913
I responded, she did not. I called her
repeatedly, several times, and...
217
00:23:03,515 --> 00:23:05,916
all I got was the machine.
218
00:23:06,017 --> 00:23:07,551
When did you make these calls, sir?
219
00:23:07,652 --> 00:23:10,521
It's on the tape, Lieutenant.
I checked it.
220
00:23:12,624 --> 00:23:15,760
Three messages. 9:04pm.
221
00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:17,161
Verity, it's Roger. Call me.
222
00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:19,630
10:59pm.
223
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:22,166
Roger again. Where are you?
224
00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:24,235
12:42am.
225
00:23:24,336 --> 00:23:26,437
Verity, I'm starting to worry.
226
00:23:26,538 --> 00:23:28,139
End of messages.
227
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,574
- That's it?
- That's it.
228
00:23:31,777 --> 00:23:33,010
And you called the cops?
229
00:23:33,545 --> 00:23:34,879
What do you think?
230
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:39,850
I showed up for work this morning,
the door was wide open, I saw the hall.
231
00:23:39,951 --> 00:23:42,052
What did you think
when you walked in?
232
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,221
Oh, I think you did
the right thing, sir.
233
00:23:44,322 --> 00:23:47,057
She comes home, comes in here,
234
00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:51,228
pours herself a drink, off with
the earrings, off with the shoes.
235
00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:52,763
You see the shoes?
236
00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:54,732
I got the shoes.
237
00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:56,200
Yes, Sergeant?
238
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:59,603
She sits down,
starts to work the computer.
239
00:23:59,805 --> 00:24:01,071
Doorbell rings.
240
00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:05,643
She gets up to answer it ,
there's a struggle,
241
00:24:05,911 --> 00:24:09,747
someone nabs her
sometime after 8:40.
242
00:24:09,981 --> 00:24:13,284
After 8:40? Why 8:40?
243
00:24:13,485 --> 00:24:15,453
The computer, Detective.
It's there.
244
00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:17,922
The last time she made
an entry was 8:40pm.
245
00:24:18,824 --> 00:24:20,224
Can you look at it?
246
00:24:21,393 --> 00:24:23,160
I 've already shown the sergeant.
247
00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:25,996
Can you look at it?
248
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,032
Yes, I can.
249
00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:30,734
I 'll look at it.
250
00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:39,743
"This reporter has been looking into
a tangled web of crime...
251
00:24:39,845 --> 00:24:43,380
amid the young and ruthless
in the snowy hills of Beverly.
252
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:47,384
But the snow on those hills
ain't sugar, it's cocaine."
253
00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:49,153
Hm.
254
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:50,654
Thank you.
255
00:24:51,389 --> 00:24:54,558
It seems like this drug story
got her kidnapped.
256
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,560
Can this be touched?
257
00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:57,995
Go ahead, they've been dusted.
258
00:24:58,096 --> 00:24:59,864
Guy's finished.
Everything's been done.
259
00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:06,170
Yesterday was Thursday.
Today is October 6, '97.
260
00:25:07,205 --> 00:25:12,209
"Twelve noon Houston fun."
261
00:25:12,811 --> 00:25:14,912
Was she gonna have fun in Houston?
262
00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:20,150
That's absurd. She went to the funeral
of Chuck Houston, the old cowboy actor.
263
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:21,952
The service was yesterday at noon.
264
00:25:22,587 --> 00:25:23,954
Got that.
265
00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:28,425
What's "PH SB"?
266
00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:32,930
Phone someone?
"PH", phone, initials SB.
267
00:25:33,565 --> 00:25:35,699
Sid somebody, Shirley somebody?
Who knows?
268
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,034
Could be.
269
00:25:37,936 --> 00:25:38,869
What 's this?
270
00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:43,173
We've inventoried them.
11 pictures of a puppy.
271
00:25:46,278 --> 00:25:48,012
11 ?
272
00:25:48,113 --> 00:25:48,846
My God!
273
00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:50,314
What 's the matter?
274
00:25:50,582 --> 00:25:53,150
Louella.
I forgot all about Louella.
275
00:25:53,251 --> 00:25:54,418
Louella?
276
00:25:55,153 --> 00:25:55,953
Who's Louella?
277
00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:57,588
Beats me.
278
00:26:02,193 --> 00:26:04,929
Poor Louella.
Slipped my mind completely.
279
00:26:05,730 --> 00:26:06,630
Oh!
280
00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:09,400
- This is what 's sparking you.
- Here, sweetie.
281
00:26:11,002 --> 00:26:12,503
Hold on, sweetheart.
282
00:26:12,604 --> 00:26:16,407
Oh, it's just a pup.
Look, he's shaking.
283
00:26:16,541 --> 00:26:18,475
- Sergeant , get my dog.
- Yes, sir.
284
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:19,810
Hold him.
285
00:26:20,712 --> 00:26:23,814
Oh, look at this place.
It's a mess here!
286
00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:28,419
He's got no water!
He's got nothing! Where is it?
287
00:26:28,553 --> 00:26:29,253
Where's what?
288
00:26:29,354 --> 00:26:30,955
The food for the pup!
289
00:26:31,056 --> 00:26:33,958
Sorry. It's in the fridge.
She keeps it in the fridge.
290
00:26:34,392 --> 00:26:35,392
Yeah.
291
00:26:36,895 --> 00:26:37,895
Where's the spoons?
292
00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:39,863
The spoons? Over here. I 'll get one.
293
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:44,668
Here you are, Lieutenant.
294
00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:48,272
Oh, it's chicken. That's good.
295
00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:49,773
Yes, that’s her evening treat.
296
00:26:49,874 --> 00:26:51,809
That's good. They like that.
297
00:26:52,310 --> 00:26:53,544
What did you say?
298
00:26:53,645 --> 00:26:55,813
Uh, her evening treat.
299
00:27:01,519 --> 00:27:02,653
Excuse me.
300
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:10,160
Can you guys make sure this dog
is fed and has plenty of water?
301
00:27:10,261 --> 00:27:12,262
- Of course.
- And take him for a walk?
302
00:27:12,364 --> 00:27:16,000
And who's gonna watch this dog
while we' re working on this case?
303
00:27:16,167 --> 00:27:17,267
Oh, I will.
304
00:27:17,369 --> 00:27:18,235
Thank you.
305
00:27:18,336 --> 00:27:21,305
You' re going home, and, Sergeant ,
if you'd...
306
00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:25,142
be kind enough to do me a favour,
307
00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:28,679
I want copies of these.
Take it to the lab.
308
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:31,849
Copies made
from the negatives on the desk.
309
00:27:32,250 --> 00:27:34,485
Where was the funeral service?
310
00:27:35,053 --> 00:27:36,220
Haverland Prince.
311
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,222
Haverland Prince...
312
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:42,726
Haverland Prince...
Haverland Prince...
313
00:27:47,165 --> 00:27:48,332
Come in.
314
00:27:49,267 --> 00:27:51,068
- Good morning, sir.
- Ah, Rita.
315
00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:53,170
I was about to call your house.
316
00:27:53,271 --> 00:27:55,839
I wasn't at my house,
as a matter of fact.
317
00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:56,707
Who have we got?
318
00:27:56,808 --> 00:27:58,208
Regarding Dan Riley.
319
00:27:58,309 --> 00:28:01,512
The Motion Picture Home want to
start the viewing one hour later.
320
00:28:01,613 --> 00:28:03,080
Another day, another body.
321
00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:05,282
Also, there's a Mr. Lerby.
322
00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:08,552
Preplanned funeral.
The deceased arranged it two years ago.
323
00:28:08,653 --> 00:28:09,520
Cause of death?
324
00:28:09,988 --> 00:28:11,188
Gas boiler blew up.
325
00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:13,590
Ouch! Is there anything left of him?
326
00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:15,559
Well, he's not the man he was.
327
00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:18,028
Mrs. Lerby, the widow,
will be here at ten.
328
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:19,263
So will I.
329
00:28:19,631 --> 00:28:21,331
Mel Lerby was a jerk.
330
00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:26,336
A cheap, two-bit importer of
knock-off Korean knitwear.
331
00:28:26,671 --> 00:28:29,106
Our divorce
was gonna be final in a week,
332
00:28:29,207 --> 00:28:33,343
and if he'd waited seven days to kick it ,
I wouldn't have to be here doing this.
333
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:34,578
I don't want a service,
334
00:28:34,679 --> 00:28:37,448
I don't want flowers
and I do not want a coffin.
335
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:40,884
Mrs. Lerby, your husband
requested a cremation.
336
00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:43,620
There has to be a container.
That's the law.
337
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:46,924
He was a 98lb weakling
on his best day.
338
00:28:47,025 --> 00:28:50,127
What you got in there now
you could put in a shoebox!
339
00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:52,896
- Uh, Mrs. Lerby...
- A suggestion, Rita.
340
00:28:52,997 --> 00:28:58,168
We could cremate your husband today in
one of our inexpensive cardboard boxes,
341
00:28:58,269 --> 00:29:01,171
place his ashes in an urn
that I hope you will like...
342
00:29:01,272 --> 00:29:02,606
it 'll be ready tomorrow...
343
00:29:02,707 --> 00:29:07,277
then arrange for our helicopter service
to disperse the ashes over the ocean...
344
00:29:07,378 --> 00:29:10,147
at our expense, with my compliments.
345
00:29:10,482 --> 00:29:12,516
We' re going to take good care of him.
346
00:29:12,650 --> 00:29:14,885
Well, better you than me.
347
00:29:19,991 --> 00:29:21,258
Interesting woman.
348
00:29:21,659 --> 00:29:25,095
I'll cremate Mr. Lerby's remains myself
as soon as they arrive.
349
00:29:25,196 --> 00:29:29,566
They come in at three, but you'll have
to wait before you put him in the oven.
350
00:29:29,667 --> 00:29:31,568
- Why?
- It's being repaired.
351
00:29:31,669 --> 00:29:35,205
One of the gas jets blew yesterday
when you cremated Mr. Houston.
352
00:29:35,740 --> 00:29:39,576
Did it? How long will it take to fix?
353
00:29:39,744 --> 00:29:41,345
Repairman said it could be all day.
354
00:29:42,413 --> 00:29:44,248
Tell me immediately when it's ready.
355
00:29:44,349 --> 00:29:45,249
Yes, sir.
356
00:29:45,350 --> 00:29:48,819
Oh, by the way, someone's waiting
for you in the display room.
357
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,320
Thank you, Rita.
358
00:30:04,836 --> 00:30:06,103
Morning, sir.
359
00:30:06,204 --> 00:30:10,841
I just can't get my wife to discuss
this stuff, but she should like this.
360
00:30:11,242 --> 00:30:12,376
Nice and soft...
361
00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:13,777
May I?
362
00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:17,114
I think you know the way out.
363
00:30:17,215 --> 00:30:18,448
Oh, sir, I'm sorry.
364
00:30:18,550 --> 00:30:22,119
I really shouldn't be smoking
in a special place like this.
365
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:24,388
I'm from the police.
366
00:30:24,489 --> 00:30:25,322
Pardon?
367
00:30:25,423 --> 00:30:26,957
Lieutenant Columbo.
368
00:30:27,091 --> 00:30:27,958
You' re joking.
369
00:30:28,059 --> 00:30:30,160
No, sir. No, I'm not.
370
00:30:31,062 --> 00:30:34,231
There you go.
Are you Haverland Prince?
371
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:39,336
I'm Prince. My partner,
Arthur Haverland, died some years ago.
372
00:30:39,437 --> 00:30:41,104
Oh. Well, Mr. Prince,
373
00:30:41,206 --> 00:30:44,741
I'm looking into a missing-persons
case, Verity Chandler.
374
00:30:44,876 --> 00:30:45,809
She was here yesterday.
375
00:30:46,077 --> 00:30:47,477
Was she alone?
376
00:30:47,645 --> 00:30:48,779
As far as I know.
377
00:30:48,947 --> 00:30:50,180
Where was she?
378
00:30:50,281 --> 00:30:53,383
In the chapel. And I have to check it
for the next service.
379
00:30:53,484 --> 00:30:56,220
- Would you follow me?
- Oh, I'd love to, sir.
380
00:30:57,555 --> 00:31:01,391
The only person she spoke to was
the widow, Mrs. Houston. Then she left.
381
00:31:01,492 --> 00:31:03,727
Were you a friend of Miss Chandler's?
382
00:31:03,828 --> 00:31:05,229
A tabloid reporter?
383
00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:08,899
I keep my distance,
but I do call her about VIP funerals.
384
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,568
The publicity's good
and she's discreet.
385
00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:14,605
As a matter of a fact , I called her
about the Houston service.
386
00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:16,273
Would you excuse me?
387
00:31:16,374 --> 00:31:18,809
That's coming along nicely, gentlemen.
388
00:31:18,910 --> 00:31:22,980
So she was here and then she left.
Yeah, OK.
389
00:31:23,081 --> 00:31:24,815
What kind of car was she driving?
390
00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:27,718
I assume the usual one.
A red Mercedes.
391
00:31:27,819 --> 00:31:29,653
Uh-huh, red Mercedes.
392
00:31:29,754 --> 00:31:32,656
Sir, this is Miss Chandler's datebook.
393
00:31:32,757 --> 00:31:35,025
Do you see the entry
for yesterday's date?
394
00:31:35,426 --> 00:31:39,930
"Houston fun PH, phone, SB".
395
00:31:40,031 --> 00:31:45,669
Do you know anybody who was invited or
who came to the funeral services...
396
00:31:45,770 --> 00:31:47,905
with the initials SB?
397
00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:53,577
Uh, Sonny Bono,
Sandra Bullock, Steven Bochco.
398
00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:56,747
Bono? Bullock? Bochco?
399
00:31:56,848 --> 00:32:01,184
Wow. Man,
you really get the big ones!
400
00:32:01,352 --> 00:32:05,322
The crème de la crème, sir.
That's French.
401
00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:06,990
Do you know of Dan Riley?
402
00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:10,060
The big dancer from the movies?
403
00:32:10,228 --> 00:32:12,029
Yeah, he died yesterday.
78 years old.
404
00:32:12,130 --> 00:32:14,865
Oh, he was up there with the greats.
405
00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:17,834
We' re having the viewing
later this afternoon and...
406
00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,102
then the burial tomorrow.
407
00:32:19,203 --> 00:32:21,705
Oh. Gee whiz, that’s funny.
408
00:32:21,806 --> 00:32:23,073
What?
409
00:32:23,174 --> 00:32:24,908
What you just said.
410
00:32:25,109 --> 00:32:29,813
You said you always call
Miss Chandler regarding VIP funerals.
411
00:32:29,914 --> 00:32:34,017
I was just at the Chandler house
and we checked her answering machine.
412
00:32:34,118 --> 00:32:36,787
There were only three messages
since yesterday,
413
00:32:36,888 --> 00:32:39,756
all from her secretary.
414
00:32:40,725 --> 00:32:45,963
No, sir, there was no message from you
regarding Dan Riley's funeral.
415
00:32:46,164 --> 00:32:48,966
I must reprimand myself.
416
00:32:49,067 --> 00:32:50,867
Well, don't worry about it , sir.
417
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:56,740
When you've got your mind on big things,
goodness, you could forget anything.
418
00:32:56,841 --> 00:32:59,076
Do you mind if I take one, sir?
419
00:32:59,177 --> 00:33:02,279
My wife and I gotta
make a decision on this stuff.
420
00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:05,749
With pleasure. And, of course,
you'll both be welcome here...
421
00:33:06,751 --> 00:33:08,418
when the time comes.
422
00:33:11,055 --> 00:33:13,090
You got a good sense of humour.
423
00:33:14,359 --> 00:33:19,463
Oh, sir, if that red Mercedes were
here, would you know it was here?
424
00:33:19,564 --> 00:33:23,633
No, I wouldn't ,
but my assistant would. Rita?
425
00:33:23,735 --> 00:33:26,970
We keep a log of all vehicles
that come for any bereavement.
426
00:33:27,071 --> 00:33:29,773
Rita, this is Lieutenant Columbo.
427
00:33:29,874 --> 00:33:33,543
He needs the car list for the Houston affair.
Would you give him any help you can?
428
00:33:33,644 --> 00:33:36,413
Certainly, sir.
Follow me, Lieutenant.
429
00:33:36,781 --> 00:33:40,650
Sir, this is a lovely place to go.
430
00:33:40,752 --> 00:33:42,285
You got that right.
431
00:33:51,295 --> 00:33:53,397
That's the complete list.
432
00:33:53,831 --> 00:33:56,033
Oh, this is great. Thanks.
433
00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:57,634
Is Miss Chandler's car here?
434
00:33:57,735 --> 00:34:01,505
Her Mercedes? No. We all know it.
435
00:34:01,672 --> 00:34:02,839
This was a taxi?
436
00:34:02,940 --> 00:34:04,875
Yes, there was a taxi.
437
00:34:04,976 --> 00:34:07,377
Anything odd in her behaviour?
438
00:34:07,478 --> 00:34:09,479
Well, she comes here all the time.
439
00:34:09,580 --> 00:34:13,316
The last I saw of her, she was putting
one of our brochures in her purse.
440
00:34:13,418 --> 00:34:14,184
What was that , ma'am?
441
00:34:14,285 --> 00:34:16,920
She put our brochure in her purse.
442
00:34:17,021 --> 00:34:20,357
I just got this to talk to the wife,
but...
443
00:34:20,458 --> 00:34:22,859
you said that
she comes here all the time.
444
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,094
Why would she want a brochure?
445
00:34:24,195 --> 00:34:26,997
No idea.
Oh, and she kissed the corpse.
446
00:34:27,098 --> 00:34:27,864
I'm sorry, ma'am?
447
00:34:27,965 --> 00:34:30,033
She kissed Mr. Houston's corpse.
448
00:34:30,134 --> 00:34:33,136
Hollywood's a very "kissy" town.
449
00:34:33,237 --> 00:34:35,639
I even had to wipe her lipstick
off his cheek.
450
00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:37,207
You did? With what?
451
00:34:37,308 --> 00:34:38,341
My handkerchief.
452
00:34:38,443 --> 00:34:39,743
Do you have that handkerchief?
453
00:34:39,844 --> 00:34:42,412
I was going to
take it home and wash it.
454
00:34:43,381 --> 00:34:45,782
Oh, here we go.
455
00:34:47,819 --> 00:34:48,785
Thank you, ma'am.
456
00:34:48,886 --> 00:34:50,353
Will that be all?
457
00:34:51,389 --> 00:34:52,956
I think so.
458
00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:55,158
So what have we got?
459
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:56,760
Her earrings...
460
00:34:58,563 --> 00:35:00,030
lipstick...
461
00:35:01,666 --> 00:35:03,567
her shoes...
462
00:35:29,627 --> 00:35:30,861
Be there.
463
00:35:32,497 --> 00:35:33,997
It has to be there.
464
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:49,913
Lieutenant!
465
00:35:50,014 --> 00:35:51,615
In here, Sarge.
466
00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:53,116
Lieutenant.
467
00:35:56,220 --> 00:35:59,289
Well, you were right
to order up those reprints.
468
00:35:59,557 --> 00:36:02,659
There were 11 pictures of the puppy
in that envelope,
469
00:36:03,227 --> 00:36:07,397
but there were 12 exposures
on the roll. This is the 12th.
470
00:36:08,065 --> 00:36:09,499
How did you know there'd be a 12th?
471
00:36:09,767 --> 00:36:11,535
Cos of my brother-in-law.
472
00:36:11,636 --> 00:36:13,970
Only buys film that comes
in 12-shot rolls.
473
00:36:14,071 --> 00:36:17,641
He's always running out.
Drives you nuts.
474
00:36:18,543 --> 00:36:21,978
Well, I took the liberty of making
some enlargements.
475
00:36:22,079 --> 00:36:23,446
They might be useful.
476
00:36:23,548 --> 00:36:26,449
Oh. Well, that’s using your head, sir.
477
00:36:27,218 --> 00:36:28,785
Thank you, Sergeant.
478
00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:31,555
Yeah, that was a good idea.
479
00:36:31,656 --> 00:36:33,056
Take a load off.
480
00:36:33,157 --> 00:36:34,424
Thanks, Lieutenant.
481
00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:37,861
Gee, this is a big place.
Any ID on this?
482
00:36:37,962 --> 00:36:39,329
Uh, no.
483
00:36:39,430 --> 00:36:43,700
So we still never found
the original of this photo?
484
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:45,268
No. Nowhere.
485
00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:51,875
So why wasn't this photo
with the other pho...
486
00:37:00,017 --> 00:37:03,453
Photos. PH.
487
00:37:09,327 --> 00:37:10,627
You drink too much.
488
00:37:11,629 --> 00:37:13,930
I'm a widow. I'm in mourning.
489
00:37:17,101 --> 00:37:18,235
Hello.
490
00:37:19,303 --> 00:37:22,539
Oh, I'm so sorry
I didn't return your call,
491
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,475
and actually I'm in the middle
of a meeting right now...
492
00:37:25,576 --> 00:37:27,978
with the funeral director
Mr. Prince.
493
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:30,714
He says hello.
494
00:37:31,048 --> 00:37:32,249
Who is it?
495
00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:35,185
Lieutenant Combo?
496
00:37:35,453 --> 00:37:38,488
Columbo, yes.
Say that I say hello too.
497
00:37:38,756 --> 00:37:41,558
Oh. Well,
he said to say hello too.
498
00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:47,897
I'm afraid I'm not gonna be here.
I have to go see my psychiatrist.
499
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:53,236
Well, I suppose I could.
All right , I'll see you there then.
500
00:37:53,337 --> 00:37:58,141
My psychiatrist will have to wait ,
although he does love talking to me.
501
00:37:58,242 --> 00:38:00,076
Well, bye-bye.
502
00:38:00,878 --> 00:38:02,045
Where is he?
503
00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:05,515
Verity Chandler's house.
He wants me to stop by.
504
00:38:05,616 --> 00:38:06,983
Did he say why?
505
00:38:08,052 --> 00:38:12,455
He wants to ask me some questions.
Said he has a few little problems there.
506
00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:14,391
I'll drive you.
507
00:38:21,098 --> 00:38:24,434
Ah, Mrs. Houston.
Thank you for coming, ma'am.
508
00:38:24,535 --> 00:38:28,238
I'm Lieutenant Columbo.
May I offer my condolences?
509
00:38:28,339 --> 00:38:30,607
No, thanks, I 've had plenty.
510
00:38:30,941 --> 00:38:35,478
I'm sorry, it's just the tension.
I'm new at this widow stuff.
511
00:38:35,579 --> 00:38:37,347
And it's nice to see you again, sir.
512
00:38:37,448 --> 00:38:39,249
Mrs. Houston was too nervous to drive.
513
00:38:39,350 --> 00:38:42,085
I'm escorting her today,
if that’s all right.
514
00:38:42,186 --> 00:38:44,554
Very nice. Please come in.
515
00:38:44,855 --> 00:38:45,789
Careful here.
516
00:38:45,890 --> 00:38:47,023
What happened?
517
00:38:47,124 --> 00:38:48,858
We' re not sure, ma'am.
518
00:38:48,959 --> 00:38:52,562
That's why I want to ask you
a couple of questions.
519
00:38:52,930 --> 00:38:55,465
I hate to do this to you, ma'am.
520
00:38:55,566 --> 00:39:00,203
It's routine, you might say.
Routine.
521
00:39:00,304 --> 00:39:02,405
Yes, to the usual suspects.
522
00:39:02,506 --> 00:39:04,007
What has happened?
523
00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:07,310
The questions
that I want to ask you...
524
00:39:07,411 --> 00:39:10,814
and we' re gonna be
asking everybody...
525
00:39:10,915 --> 00:39:14,851
that saw Miss Chandler yesterday
the same questions...
526
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:19,456
and the question is
where were you from about...
527
00:39:19,557 --> 00:39:22,459
eight o'clock last night
until seven this morning?
528
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,028
We'll start with you, sir.
Were you at home?
529
00:39:25,129 --> 00:39:28,598
As a matter of fact ,
I wasn't at home.
530
00:39:28,699 --> 00:39:31,267
Not at home. Uh,
531
00:39:31,969 --> 00:39:33,703
could you elaborate on that , sir?
532
00:39:33,804 --> 00:39:36,206
Well, Lieutenant , I'm a bachelor.
533
00:39:36,307 --> 00:39:40,844
Shall we say that
I spent the evening with a friend?
534
00:39:41,479 --> 00:39:43,646
With a friend.
535
00:39:43,914 --> 00:39:47,450
I hate to be indelicate, sir,
536
00:39:47,952 --> 00:39:53,490
but for my investigation,
it's important to know names...
537
00:39:53,591 --> 00:39:55,859
- Facts and that sort of thing.
- Specifics, yes.
538
00:39:56,127 --> 00:39:58,094
All right. All right.
539
00:39:58,763 --> 00:39:59,529
Ma'am?
540
00:39:59,630 --> 00:40:02,165
Mr. Prince spent the evening
with me at my house.
541
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:04,200
With you, ma'am?
542
00:40:04,368 --> 00:40:05,402
Yes.
543
00:40:05,503 --> 00:40:06,569
At your house?
544
00:40:06,871 --> 00:40:08,104
Yes.
545
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,140
Uh-huh.
546
00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:14,677
Yes, it's been a very vulnerable
and difficult time for Mrs. Houston.
547
00:40:14,779 --> 00:40:18,314
She was prostrate with grief,
and I felt it was necessary...
548
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:22,118
So Mr. Prince
came over to my house...
549
00:40:23,387 --> 00:40:24,921
and he gave me grief counseling.
550
00:40:25,022 --> 00:40:26,222
Yes, I did.
551
00:40:26,457 --> 00:40:31,194
So you counseled Mrs. Houston
right through till this morning?
552
00:40:31,295 --> 00:40:32,495
Mm-hm.
553
00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:35,732
Mr. Prince came over
shortly before eight o'clock...
554
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,501
and... Well...
555
00:40:39,804 --> 00:40:40,904
here we are.
556
00:40:41,972 --> 00:40:44,274
Lieutenant , do you have a moment?
557
00:40:45,176 --> 00:40:47,343
Excuse me, please, Liz.
558
00:40:47,545 --> 00:40:48,711
Lieutenant?
559
00:40:49,647 --> 00:40:51,381
Uh, the...
560
00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:55,518
the confidence that we've just shared
I imagine will go no further.
561
00:40:55,619 --> 00:41:00,056
Absolutely, sir.
That is your business.
562
00:41:00,157 --> 00:41:03,526
Thank you.
I appreciate that very much. Yes.
563
00:41:03,627 --> 00:41:07,063
Oh, ma'am!
I have a question for you.
564
00:41:08,399 --> 00:41:11,868
Would you all mind
if I had a little shot of something?
565
00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:15,705
All this...
Well, it's given me the shakes.
566
00:41:15,806 --> 00:41:18,341
Well, I'm sure if
Miss Chandler were here,
567
00:41:18,442 --> 00:41:20,777
she'd be pleased to
share them with you.
568
00:41:20,878 --> 00:41:22,345
- Help yourself.
- Thank you.
569
00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:26,449
Just don't touch the Scotch.
570
00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:31,054
Don't worry. Scotch is not my flavour.
I prefer bourbon.
571
00:41:35,626 --> 00:41:37,627
Did you say something
about a question?
572
00:41:37,728 --> 00:41:39,896
Yes, ma'am. You know,
I'm a dog person...
573
00:41:39,997 --> 00:41:42,465
and I can usually
tell another dog person.
574
00:41:42,566 --> 00:41:46,469
And I bet you' re a dog person.
575
00:41:46,904 --> 00:41:48,872
Well, aren't you clever?
576
00:41:48,973 --> 00:41:50,974
I do have a couple of
beauties at home.
577
00:41:51,075 --> 00:41:53,877
All right. Now,
you've got a 12-week-old puppy,
578
00:41:53,978 --> 00:41:56,513
like Miss Chandler, for three days,
579
00:41:56,614 --> 00:42:01,351
and you leave at ten in the morning
and you come back at eight at night.
580
00:42:01,852 --> 00:42:04,287
Would you forget to feed him?
581
00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:05,855
Never.
582
00:42:06,423 --> 00:42:10,493
Well, that pup was not fed.
His food was in the fridge.
583
00:42:10,594 --> 00:42:15,798
Until my dying day, I will
never believe that woman...
584
00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:19,035
forgot that there was
a hungry puppy waiting for her.
585
00:42:19,670 --> 00:42:21,070
With the mess in the hall,
586
00:42:21,171 --> 00:42:24,207
maybe someone kidnapped her
before she could feed him.
587
00:42:25,342 --> 00:42:27,210
She's a smart girl.
588
00:42:27,311 --> 00:42:32,081
Could I trouble you? Could you
come over here, near this desk?
589
00:42:32,182 --> 00:42:34,984
This is where Miss Chandler worked.
590
00:42:35,152 --> 00:42:36,519
Now, uh...
591
00:42:38,689 --> 00:42:40,490
these shoes.
592
00:42:40,758 --> 00:42:43,826
Were these the shoes
she was wearing at the funeral?
593
00:42:44,094 --> 00:42:48,031
Her shoes were black.
Yes, I would say so.
594
00:42:48,432 --> 00:42:50,500
Well, they were down here. OK.
595
00:42:50,634 --> 00:42:53,503
Uh, and these earrings.
596
00:42:53,637 --> 00:42:57,040
Were these the earrings
she was wearing at the funeral?
597
00:42:57,141 --> 00:43:01,911
Now, I know a lot about earrings
and I particularly remember them.
598
00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:06,082
Yes. These are the ones.
599
00:43:06,183 --> 00:43:09,419
Uh-huh. This glass was here.
600
00:43:12,256 --> 00:43:13,423
That's Scotch.
601
00:43:13,524 --> 00:43:16,893
So it looks like it was obvious
that this is where she was,
602
00:43:16,994 --> 00:43:18,394
and, uh...
603
00:43:18,963 --> 00:43:21,531
I only have one...
604
00:43:24,969 --> 00:43:26,836
Excuse me, ma'am.
605
00:43:27,037 --> 00:43:31,274
Would you turn your head toward
the light? That lipstick, ma'am.
606
00:43:31,375 --> 00:43:33,509
Would you say that that shade...
607
00:43:34,511 --> 00:43:38,214
is lighter in colour
than the lipstick on this glass?
608
00:43:40,017 --> 00:43:40,950
Yes.
609
00:43:41,051 --> 00:43:43,686
That shade, does it have a name?
610
00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:46,022
Well, I think
it's called Afternoon Delight.
611
00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:47,123
Uh-huh.
612
00:43:47,691 --> 00:43:52,862
Mr. Prince, sir, did you see Verity
kiss Chuck Houston?
613
00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:53,896
I don't recall that.
614
00:43:53,998 --> 00:43:55,431
Oh, she did.
615
00:43:55,699 --> 00:43:57,934
And frankly,
I thought it was a bit showy.
616
00:43:58,102 --> 00:44:01,904
Well, your employee Rita saw it ,
because apparently she...
617
00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:07,410
wiped the lipstick
off of Mr. Houston's face.
618
00:44:08,412 --> 00:44:12,715
And she did it with this handkerchief.
619
00:44:12,883 --> 00:44:14,651
This stain, ma'am.
620
00:44:15,753 --> 00:44:17,987
How would this compare...
621
00:44:19,256 --> 00:44:21,791
with the lip print on the glass?
622
00:44:22,559 --> 00:44:23,493
It's not the same.
623
00:44:24,194 --> 00:44:28,164
Yeah. That's what I thought. Yeah.
624
00:44:30,367 --> 00:44:33,036
I happened to look
into this pocketbook.
625
00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:37,740
This is the pocketbook
that she was carrying at the funeral.
626
00:44:39,143 --> 00:44:41,077
And sure enough...
627
00:44:42,546 --> 00:44:43,980
this lipstick.
628
00:44:44,748 --> 00:44:47,150
And this lipstick...
629
00:44:48,786 --> 00:44:50,153
matches...
630
00:44:51,021 --> 00:44:53,122
the lipstick on this handkerchief.
631
00:44:53,957 --> 00:44:58,161
So this lipstick is the lipstick
that she was wearing...
632
00:44:58,262 --> 00:45:01,164
during the day yesterday.
633
00:45:01,999 --> 00:45:06,636
Question :
why, when she came home at night ,
634
00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:10,640
why did she take off
her day lipstick...
635
00:45:10,741 --> 00:45:16,179
and put on dark evening lipstick...
636
00:45:16,413 --> 00:45:18,715
to sit here alone,
637
00:45:19,316 --> 00:45:22,485
by herself, and type?
638
00:45:22,586 --> 00:45:24,153
Would you do that , ma'am?
639
00:45:24,455 --> 00:45:27,290
Oh, well, I'm a little confused.
640
00:45:27,658 --> 00:45:32,462
You know, they told me they think she
was working on this computer at 8:40,
641
00:45:32,563 --> 00:45:35,498
and maybe she was, I don't know,
but they also tell me...
642
00:45:35,599 --> 00:45:40,136
you push the right buttons right now,
don't ask me what they are,
643
00:45:41,638 --> 00:45:48,244
you can erase that 8:40pm and put in
11:30am last Christmas, so who knows?
644
00:45:48,412 --> 00:45:51,481
"Only the Shadow knows."
645
00:45:51,582 --> 00:45:53,416
Fascinating.
646
00:45:53,617 --> 00:45:56,719
You certainly have a way with you,
Lieutenant.
647
00:45:56,820 --> 00:46:00,556
Is there anything else
you require of us at the moment?
648
00:46:01,492 --> 00:46:03,426
Not at this time, sir.
649
00:46:07,531 --> 00:46:08,598
- Sir!
- Yes?
650
00:46:08,699 --> 00:46:11,901
I'm sorry. Sir? Sorry, sir.
651
00:46:12,002 --> 00:46:14,570
Uh, ma'am? I'm sorry, ma'am.
652
00:46:14,805 --> 00:46:17,140
You' re late, ma'am. Forgive me.
653
00:46:17,241 --> 00:46:20,676
This'll just take a second.
I just forgot.
654
00:46:21,245 --> 00:46:23,946
Uh, this house...
655
00:46:25,649 --> 00:46:28,117
Either of you recognize this house?
656
00:46:29,086 --> 00:46:34,023
Uh... no, I can't say
that I 've ever seen that before.
657
00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:36,125
Have you ever seen this?
658
00:46:36,226 --> 00:46:38,661
No. No, I haven't.
659
00:46:38,762 --> 00:46:40,229
Sorry, Lieutenant. Can't help.
660
00:46:40,330 --> 00:46:43,199
All right. Thank you very much.
661
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:44,333
Bye-bye again.
662
00:46:44,434 --> 00:46:45,802
Bye-bye.
663
00:47:38,488 --> 00:47:41,390
Mr. Lerby, we hardly knew you.
664
00:47:45,762 --> 00:47:49,398
A freshly repaired oven awaits you.
665
00:48:03,647 --> 00:48:07,717
Gentlemen, I fear
this is for double occupancy.
666
00:49:51,021 --> 00:49:53,956
Hey, Freddy.
What have you got for me?
667
00:49:54,157 --> 00:49:55,458
I got nothing.
668
00:49:55,759 --> 00:49:56,759
What 's this? Soft time?
669
00:49:56,860 --> 00:49:58,461
But you got a visitor.
670
00:49:59,596 --> 00:50:00,830
- Eddie Fenelle?
- Yeah.
671
00:50:01,331 --> 00:50:03,399
You drive cab 953?
672
00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:04,934
Yeah.
673
00:50:05,502 --> 00:50:06,502
So what 's the beef?
674
00:50:06,603 --> 00:50:07,703
Sit down.
675
00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:11,474
The dispatcher says
your cab picked up a fare...
676
00:50:11,575 --> 00:50:15,678
three days ago in Beverly Hills
a woman named Verity Chandler.
677
00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:17,713
Drove her to a funeral home.
678
00:50:19,549 --> 00:50:23,753
Oh, yeah. I don't remember her name,
but I picked her up around 11:30,
679
00:50:23,854 --> 00:50:26,555
dropped her off. End of story.
680
00:50:26,656 --> 00:50:27,823
You didn't drive her home?
681
00:50:27,924 --> 00:50:28,824
No.
682
00:50:28,925 --> 00:50:30,226
You didn't wait for her?
683
00:50:30,327 --> 00:50:31,127
No.
684
00:50:31,228 --> 00:50:33,162
How'd she leave the funeral home?
685
00:50:33,330 --> 00:50:34,196
How should I know?
686
00:50:34,297 --> 00:50:38,134
Maybe she bummed a ride from
another friend or called another cab.
687
00:50:38,468 --> 00:50:40,636
Did she have this picture?
688
00:50:41,071 --> 00:50:43,873
Hey, look, she didn't jump
in the front seat with me.
689
00:50:43,974 --> 00:50:47,309
We didn't get that close.
Are we done now?
690
00:50:47,677 --> 00:50:48,844
We' re done.
691
00:50:51,982 --> 00:50:53,616
How long you been out?
692
00:50:54,384 --> 00:50:55,518
How'd you know I was in?
693
00:50:55,619 --> 00:50:59,221
I heard you say "soft time".
That's prison slang for easy duty.
694
00:50:59,856 --> 00:51:01,724
Six weeks. I'm on parole.
695
00:51:01,858 --> 00:51:03,159
Keep your nose clean.
696
00:51:03,427 --> 00:51:05,661
I 'll keep it so clean,
you can eat off of it.
697
00:51:06,196 --> 00:51:08,764
I'm going for a burger.
Anything happens, page me.
698
00:51:08,865 --> 00:51:09,532
Right.
699
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,567
Hey, nice talkin' to you.
700
00:51:11,968 --> 00:51:14,670
Phew. Hell, man!
701
00:51:15,138 --> 00:51:17,606
It is bumper to bumper out there.
702
00:51:17,874 --> 00:51:19,408
You waiting on a cab?
703
00:51:19,676 --> 00:51:20,743
No.
704
00:51:21,344 --> 00:51:23,379
So what are you doing?
Looking for a job?
705
00:51:24,948 --> 00:51:27,383
No, just sitting and thinking.
706
00:51:27,584 --> 00:51:29,385
Sitting and thinking.
707
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,088
Well, that’s a good thing
if you don't like to eat.
708
00:51:32,889 --> 00:51:36,125
But if you like to eat , not much time
for sitting and thinking.
709
00:51:36,226 --> 00:51:37,626
Gotta burn rubber.
710
00:51:37,727 --> 00:51:40,229
"HB". What does that mean?
711
00:51:40,330 --> 00:51:42,431
Uh, Hollywood Boulevard.
712
00:51:43,433 --> 00:51:45,267
Hollywood Boulevard...
713
00:51:49,372 --> 00:51:51,407
HB.
714
00:51:52,909 --> 00:51:54,844
SB.
715
00:53:02,012 --> 00:53:03,913
Hey! Hey!
716
00:53:04,014 --> 00:53:07,483
Hey, I'm a cop!
I'm a cop, you monkeys!
717
00:53:07,651 --> 00:53:11,453
A thousand pardons, Lieutenant.
You must forgive my security people.
718
00:53:12,122 --> 00:53:14,924
The bodyguards my country provides
are professional,
719
00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:17,826
but they can be overzealous
in their task.
720
00:53:17,928 --> 00:53:22,431
Now, what can Sheikh Hirami do
to help the Los Angeles Police?
721
00:53:22,566 --> 00:53:26,602
Sir, I'm looking into
a missing-persons case,
722
00:53:26,703 --> 00:53:29,104
a woman named Verity Chandler.
723
00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:32,808
Verity Chandler?
I have never heard this name.
724
00:53:32,909 --> 00:53:35,344
She's a kind of TV reporter.
725
00:53:35,445 --> 00:53:40,616
Ah, television!
Sheikh Hirami scoffs with derision.
726
00:53:40,717 --> 00:53:42,751
You don't like television?
727
00:53:43,587 --> 00:53:47,156
Television is a box of infidels.
728
00:53:47,691 --> 00:53:49,792
Sheikh Hirami likes movie stars.
729
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:51,961
Ah, good.
730
00:53:52,095 --> 00:53:56,398
Sheikh Hirami bought this mansion
because it belonged to the movie star...
731
00:53:56,633 --> 00:53:57,900
Miss Dorothea Page.
732
00:53:58,001 --> 00:54:00,936
Dorothea Page... Yes!
733
00:54:01,037 --> 00:54:05,241
A great silent-film star,
became even bigger in the talkies.
734
00:54:05,342 --> 00:54:06,642
This was her place?
735
00:54:06,743 --> 00:54:09,912
I 've lived here seven years,
and I cannot tell you...
736
00:54:10,013 --> 00:54:13,949
the tourists, the gawkers.
That is why the security.
737
00:54:14,618 --> 00:54:18,220
You know, of course,
when Miss Dorothea Page died,
738
00:54:18,321 --> 00:54:19,755
the police came too.
739
00:54:19,990 --> 00:54:20,756
Why?
740
00:54:20,857 --> 00:54:22,658
Surely you must know.
741
00:54:22,759 --> 00:54:26,061
The case of the mysterious
missing diamonds.
742
00:54:26,429 --> 00:54:27,496
Diamonds?
743
00:54:28,164 --> 00:54:32,434
Uh, sir, maybe I will show you
this photograph.
744
00:54:43,413 --> 00:54:44,413
What 's the ruckus?
745
00:54:44,514 --> 00:54:46,181
A thousand pardons.
746
00:54:46,283 --> 00:54:49,785
They are upset
because just three days ago,
747
00:54:49,886 --> 00:54:52,254
they chased away a woman
who took a picture.
748
00:54:52,389 --> 00:54:55,658
Wait a minute.
This woman who took this picture,
749
00:54:55,759 --> 00:54:57,593
did she wear a big hat?
750
00:55:06,469 --> 00:55:07,636
Was that a yes?
751
00:55:07,871 --> 00:55:11,740
Big, black hat , red clothes.
Very red.
752
00:55:11,908 --> 00:55:15,611
Are you saying the woman wore
a big, black hat...
753
00:55:15,712 --> 00:55:18,347
with a lot of red clothes,
three days ago,
754
00:55:18,448 --> 00:55:21,150
took the picture and then drove away?
755
00:55:21,251 --> 00:55:24,386
Yes. She got out , stole
a photograph with her camera...
756
00:55:24,487 --> 00:55:26,889
and then jumped
right back into a taxi.
757
00:55:27,824 --> 00:55:28,490
Taxi?!
758
00:55:28,858 --> 00:55:30,459
Yes, they said taxi.
759
00:55:33,830 --> 00:55:35,397
Hey, I'm not for hire.
760
00:55:39,102 --> 00:55:42,137
Hey, can't you read?
The sign says no smo...
761
00:55:42,405 --> 00:55:45,574
Oh, it's you. Hey, listen,
I 've already got a fare.
762
00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:48,844
The dispatcher tells me
you pick up the same guy...
763
00:55:48,945 --> 00:55:52,047
from the same doctor
at the same time each week.
764
00:55:52,148 --> 00:55:54,316
Right , and the meter's running.
What 's up?
765
00:55:54,417 --> 00:55:57,619
Eddie Fenelle, aka Eddie the Fence.
766
00:55:57,721 --> 00:56:01,957
Six years, grand larceny,
receiving stolen goods.
767
00:56:02,258 --> 00:56:07,830
Does that include a diamond necklace
once worn by a star, Dorothea Page?
768
00:56:07,931 --> 00:56:10,566
Hey, you can't pin
that diamond job on me.
769
00:56:10,667 --> 00:56:15,604
I got a witness can identify you
as the driver of this cab...
770
00:56:15,939 --> 00:56:19,141
on the day that Verity Chandler...
771
00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,010
took this photograph.
772
00:56:24,647 --> 00:56:27,716
Now, are you gonna come clean
or do I take you downtown?
773
00:56:29,819 --> 00:56:31,987
I'm not looking to hurt you, Eddie.
774
00:56:32,088 --> 00:56:37,126
And right now I don't need any definites.
All I need is maybes.
775
00:56:37,494 --> 00:56:40,095
- Maybes?
- Yeah, maybes.
776
00:56:42,732 --> 00:56:44,099
OK, maybe.
777
00:56:45,068 --> 00:56:49,104
So maybe there is somebody who did
know something about those diamonds.
778
00:56:49,472 --> 00:56:54,243
This somebody didn't steal 'em,
he just handled 'em, if you know what I mean.
779
00:56:55,011 --> 00:56:58,213
And then maybe this somebody
went to prison for another job,
780
00:56:58,581 --> 00:57:02,084
then when he got out of the joint ,
he gets a call from a woman.
781
00:57:02,185 --> 00:57:06,522
She says she's a reporter and she
wants the lowdown on those diamonds.
782
00:57:06,890 --> 00:57:10,826
And maybe somebody
got some money for this information.
783
00:57:11,661 --> 00:57:12,861
Maybe.
784
00:57:12,962 --> 00:57:16,165
And maybe
somebody's cab was used...
785
00:57:16,266 --> 00:57:21,303
to drive somebody to the dead
movie star's house to take a picture.
786
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:22,905
Maybe that too.
787
00:57:23,006 --> 00:57:26,675
And maybe...
Come on, Eddie. I'm waiting!
788
00:57:28,745 --> 00:57:32,481
Maybe she wants this somebody to
finger the guy who stole the diamonds.
789
00:57:32,582 --> 00:57:33,782
How would she do that?
790
00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:36,552
She said she'd get a photo of the guy.
791
00:57:42,392 --> 00:57:43,559
Bingo.
792
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:47,196
Uh, that is not an official bingo,
you understand?
793
00:57:47,730 --> 00:57:49,097
That's a maybe.
794
00:57:49,599 --> 00:57:55,337
But somebody identified
this man in this picture...
795
00:57:55,572 --> 00:57:59,141
as the man
who fenced the diamond necklace...
796
00:57:59,242 --> 00:58:02,377
belonging to Dorothea Page.
797
00:58:02,545 --> 00:58:05,380
Sounds right. Maybe.
798
00:58:06,049 --> 00:58:07,349
Hey, here comes my fare.
799
00:58:07,450 --> 00:58:08,984
Keep that nose clean.
800
00:58:13,756 --> 00:58:16,992
The service that we provide
is a business,
801
00:58:17,193 --> 00:58:21,630
but how many businesses experience
the whole gamut of human emotions?
802
00:58:22,098 --> 00:58:26,001
Grief, pain, anger.
803
00:58:26,669 --> 00:58:29,638
Some of us call ourselves
funeral directors.
804
00:58:30,273 --> 00:58:32,841
I prefer the old-fashioned word,
805
00:58:33,309 --> 00:58:34,810
"undertaker".
806
00:58:34,911 --> 00:58:38,580
I undertake the pain...
807
00:58:38,681 --> 00:58:41,650
of the bereaved that they cannot bear.
808
00:58:42,185 --> 00:58:46,355
Our business is based on trust ,
809
00:58:46,689 --> 00:58:51,159
and without that trust ,
we lose our business.
810
00:58:51,261 --> 00:58:55,998
So it is in the spirit of that trust
that I accept these awards...
811
00:58:56,199 --> 00:59:00,636
and thank you all from the
bottom of my heart. Thank you.
812
00:59:07,810 --> 00:59:11,813
Move over here a little bit. Let me
take that , and look at the camera.
813
00:59:13,650 --> 00:59:14,383
Thank you.
814
00:59:15,251 --> 00:59:19,087
Thank you. Oh, yes,
I haven't seen you for a long time.
815
00:59:19,188 --> 00:59:23,425
Hey, John.
How's everything, huh? Good.
816
00:59:23,526 --> 00:59:27,429
Great speech, sir. Your office
said that I'd find you here.
817
00:59:27,530 --> 00:59:28,830
This is not a bad time, is it?
818
00:59:28,932 --> 00:59:31,767
No. Always a pleasure.
You intrigue me.
819
00:59:32,435 --> 00:59:34,870
I wanted to tell you
it wasn't Sonny Bono.
820
00:59:34,971 --> 00:59:37,406
- Excuse me?
- I said it wasn't Sonny Bono.
821
00:59:37,540 --> 00:59:40,309
- It wasn't him?
- No, sir. Or Sandra Bullock.
822
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,177
- It wasn't her?
- No, sir.
823
00:59:42,278 --> 00:59:45,247
- It wasn't even Steven Bochco.
- Who was it?
824
00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:47,683
You won't believe this.
825
00:59:47,784 --> 00:59:49,351
- My cousin...
- It was him?
826
00:59:49,452 --> 00:59:52,521
No. My cousin works for a cab company.
827
00:59:52,622 --> 00:59:55,390
Drives a cab,
and I went down to see him.
828
00:59:55,491 --> 00:59:58,393
They've got this big map of the city...
829
00:59:58,494 --> 01:00:03,398
and he's writing on the blackboard,
"Heavy traffic, HB" . "What 's HB?"
830
01:00:03,499 --> 01:00:08,136
He says, "Hollywood Boulevard."
Holy jamolies!
831
01:00:08,237 --> 01:00:10,572
HB, Hollywood Boulevard.
832
01:00:10,873 --> 01:00:13,342
SB, Sunset Boulevard!
833
01:00:13,443 --> 01:00:14,109
Very good.
834
01:00:14,210 --> 01:00:15,877
We' re off to the bar. You joining us?
835
01:00:15,979 --> 01:00:18,914
In a few minutes.
Have yourself a ball.
836
01:00:19,015 --> 01:00:21,149
- You bet , sir.
- See you later.
837
01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:25,554
It might be an idea if we went
somewhere private where we could chat.
838
01:00:25,655 --> 01:00:27,122
Follow me.
839
01:00:27,256 --> 01:00:30,459
This cousin of yours,
you see him often?
840
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:31,693
Once a month.
841
01:00:31,794 --> 01:00:34,696
That should cover any fresh news
he has for you.
842
01:00:34,797 --> 01:00:36,331
Is he on your mother's side?
843
01:00:36,432 --> 01:00:38,200
No, sir. On my father's.
844
01:00:38,301 --> 01:00:40,402
Oh, on your father's side. I see.
845
01:00:40,503 --> 01:00:44,172
Lieutenant , you appear to have
something on your mind.
846
01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:45,207
What 's bothering you?
847
01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:48,377
A couple of those photos
you took on the stand were OK,
848
01:00:48,478 --> 01:00:49,778
but...
849
01:00:50,313 --> 01:00:52,981
this is the man I would trust.
850
01:00:53,616 --> 01:00:55,117
I'm flattered.
851
01:00:55,218 --> 01:00:57,619
If you wouldn't mind
stepping over here.
852
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:01,823
I think this will provide
adequate privacy.
853
01:01:01,924 --> 01:01:03,792
A nice, comfortable seat.
854
01:01:03,893 --> 01:01:09,765
If you'd care to step in,
and I'll be with you in a moment.
855
01:01:17,774 --> 01:01:20,375
Is there something in there, sir?
856
01:01:20,476 --> 01:01:24,279
Have no fear. It's just for display.
Empty as a tomb.
857
01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:28,183
Yes. Do you always carry
that paraphernalia with you?
858
01:01:28,785 --> 01:01:30,085
- Sir?
- Those trappings.
859
01:01:30,186 --> 01:01:32,187
All the things
that you pull out of your pockets.
860
01:01:33,823 --> 01:01:37,092
You know, that Sunset Boulevard thing,
it is intriguing.
861
01:01:37,193 --> 01:01:39,294
- It is, isn't it?
- Yeah.
862
01:01:39,462 --> 01:01:45,400
Oh, here we are.
"12 noon Houston fun PH SB."
863
01:01:45,501 --> 01:01:48,236
None of the SBs we thought up.
864
01:01:48,337 --> 01:01:51,039
Now, phone. PH,
don't tell me that that’s "phone"?
865
01:01:52,575 --> 01:01:53,642
Photo.
866
01:01:53,743 --> 01:01:55,877
Photo. Photo. Oh, yes.
867
01:01:56,012 --> 01:02:00,482
And you did show us a photo of a house.
There must be some connection.
868
01:02:00,616 --> 01:02:01,783
I found the house.
869
01:02:01,884 --> 01:02:02,851
On Sunset Boulevard?
870
01:02:02,952 --> 01:02:05,287
There it was, sir, big as life.
871
01:02:05,455 --> 01:02:07,222
Fascinating.
Did you thank your cousin?
872
01:02:07,323 --> 01:02:10,726
I did, sir.
I gave him three golf balls, but...
873
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:13,695
he'd never heard of Dorothea Page.
874
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:18,667
Dorothea Page?
875
01:02:18,835 --> 01:02:22,337
It was her house, sir.
She died there.
876
01:02:23,539 --> 01:02:26,641
Dorothea Page. One of my idols.
877
01:02:26,743 --> 01:02:28,810
Oh, she was one of the greats, sir.
878
01:02:29,312 --> 01:02:32,080
A detective, Big George Tuddell,
he's an old friend of mine,
879
01:02:32,181 --> 01:02:36,118
he told me that when she died,
880
01:02:36,219 --> 01:02:39,721
there was a million-dollar
diamond necklace on her body.
881
01:02:39,989 --> 01:02:42,424
I can remember the very night.
882
01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:46,762
It was a Sunday,
September 19... 79.
883
01:02:46,863 --> 01:02:49,331
Her body was brought
to the funeral home.
884
01:02:49,432 --> 01:02:50,932
- You were there?
- Yes.
885
01:02:51,033 --> 01:02:52,701
- At the home?
- Yes.
886
01:02:54,170 --> 01:02:55,504
I was there.
887
01:02:56,606 --> 01:02:58,039
Wow.
888
01:02:58,141 --> 01:03:00,475
It was after midnight.
I was working late.
889
01:03:00,576 --> 01:03:02,511
We had four big funerals
the following day.
890
01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:04,913
I had a lot of preparation to do.
891
01:03:05,014 --> 01:03:06,782
And then the phone rang.
892
01:03:06,883 --> 01:03:10,018
Dorothea Page had died,
could the body be collected.
893
01:03:10,119 --> 01:03:13,955
So I sent the ambulance
and I just sat there devastated,
894
01:03:14,056 --> 01:03:18,093
reliving my memories of her.
895
01:03:18,427 --> 01:03:21,029
Then the ambulance returned,
the body was brought in and...
896
01:03:21,130 --> 01:03:25,000
then the phone rang again,
and this time it was the police.
897
01:03:25,234 --> 01:03:27,369
They said that inadvertently...
898
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:29,938
a diamond necklace
had been left around her neck...
899
01:03:30,039 --> 01:03:34,176
before she was taken to the ambulance
and had I found it?
900
01:03:34,277 --> 01:03:36,311
So I said, "Of course not."
901
01:03:36,412 --> 01:03:38,213
You hadn't pulled back the covers yet!
902
01:03:38,314 --> 01:03:42,217
Exactly. So I told them
I'd go and check.
903
01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:43,585
So I...
904
01:03:44,353 --> 01:03:47,556
I pulled the cover back
and no necklace.
905
01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:49,024
Uh-oh.
906
01:03:49,125 --> 01:03:52,060
So I went back to the phone and
I told the police the bad news...
907
01:03:52,161 --> 01:03:55,096
and they said,
"Don't leave the premises."
908
01:03:55,198 --> 01:03:57,332
I 'll bet they were there
in five minutes.
909
01:03:57,533 --> 01:03:58,600
Two.
910
01:03:58,701 --> 01:04:00,235
You let them search the mortuary?
911
01:04:00,336 --> 01:04:01,303
I insisted on it!
912
01:04:01,671 --> 01:04:03,205
They never found the necklace?
913
01:04:03,306 --> 01:04:05,106
Not to this day.
914
01:04:05,274 --> 01:04:06,641
What a mystery, huh?
915
01:04:06,909 --> 01:04:08,009
Yeah.
916
01:04:09,478 --> 01:04:12,380
So what do you think
really happened, sir?
917
01:04:12,481 --> 01:04:13,849
Who stole that necklace?
918
01:04:14,283 --> 01:04:18,520
In my opinion, to this day,
I still believe it was the help.
919
01:04:20,356 --> 01:04:22,023
The help at her house.
920
01:04:23,526 --> 01:04:24,793
Why do you say that?
921
01:04:24,894 --> 01:04:26,528
Her negligee.
922
01:04:26,629 --> 01:04:29,030
It was stained, it was soiled.
923
01:04:29,165 --> 01:04:35,003
No decent human being would let
such a lady of class be seen in a rag.
924
01:04:35,104 --> 01:04:37,706
Eric, you' re the man of the year.
We' re waiting for you.
925
01:04:38,074 --> 01:04:40,976
I 'll be with you in a minute, yes.
926
01:04:41,811 --> 01:04:46,114
Well, my public awaits.
Would you excuse me, Lieutenant?
927
01:04:46,215 --> 01:04:47,883
Oh, go right ahead, sir.
928
01:04:47,984 --> 01:04:50,452
Do you mind if I sit here
for a moment?
929
01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:54,489
Something just struck me.
I have to think.
930
01:04:55,124 --> 01:04:56,858
Make yourself at home.
931
01:05:07,737 --> 01:05:09,905
Everyone, silence. Silence!
932
01:05:10,773 --> 01:05:12,274
Thank you.
933
01:05:12,708 --> 01:05:15,610
Maestro, play!
934
01:05:18,614 --> 01:05:23,618
For he's a jolly good Undertaker
935
01:05:23,719 --> 01:05:31,826
For he's a jolly good undertaker
936
01:05:32,128 --> 01:05:41,903
This no one who dies can deny
937
01:05:42,305 --> 01:05:47,075
For he's a jolly good undertaker
938
01:05:48,344 --> 01:05:52,847
This no one who dies can deny
939
01:05:58,621 --> 01:06:01,589
- Drink, sir?
- A glass of orange juice, please. No ice.
940
01:06:03,125 --> 01:06:06,061
Hey, hey.
See the guy next to me?
941
01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:08,863
Wanna guess
what he does for a living?
942
01:06:09,131 --> 01:06:10,432
Not really.
943
01:06:12,134 --> 01:06:14,269
Miss, you gotta understand,
944
01:06:14,603 --> 01:06:18,106
Sam hasn't been next to
a warm body in years!
945
01:06:18,708 --> 01:06:20,208
I wonder why.
946
01:06:21,077 --> 01:06:22,744
What 's your name?
947
01:06:23,145 --> 01:06:24,212
Morticia?
948
01:06:25,715 --> 01:06:29,284
Gentlemen, gentlemen. Gentlemen!
949
01:06:29,852 --> 01:06:31,386
Thank you. What is your name?
950
01:06:31,487 --> 01:06:32,253
I'm Roberta, sir.
951
01:06:32,688 --> 01:06:36,624
Roberta, to make up for the charm
and grace of my colleagues,
952
01:06:36,726 --> 01:06:39,627
kindly pour a round of drinks
for the entire bar.
953
01:06:40,129 --> 01:06:41,696
That 'll be my treat.
954
01:06:42,965 --> 01:06:44,466
Does that include me, sir?
955
01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:56,444
Please. Thank you.
956
01:07:00,116 --> 01:07:02,884
Just kidding, sir.
I'm still on duty.
957
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:08,123
Sorry to bother you again,
but I'd be very grateful if, uh...
958
01:07:09,792 --> 01:07:11,326
you could look at this.
959
01:07:11,427 --> 01:07:16,498
This is my night of honour.
I would like to enjoy it.
960
01:07:16,599 --> 01:07:18,266
Oh, I understand that , sir.
961
01:07:18,367 --> 01:07:21,202
And I'm gonna be out of your hair
in a jiffy.
962
01:07:23,506 --> 01:07:28,777
"Report house security officer.
Woman in red dress. Big black hat."
963
01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:33,848
"Took photo of Dorothea Page house
three days before funeral."
964
01:07:35,518 --> 01:07:37,619
Sounds like we both know who.
965
01:07:38,187 --> 01:07:40,955
Well, it had to be her, but why, sir?
966
01:07:41,057 --> 01:07:43,058
Why would she do that?
967
01:07:43,159 --> 01:07:44,192
No idea.
968
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,895
It's very disturbing, isn't it?
969
01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:48,396
Very.
970
01:07:48,764 --> 01:07:52,600
I could really be on my way, sir,
971
01:07:52,701 --> 01:07:55,503
if you would kindly
listen to this, too.
972
01:07:55,838 --> 01:07:57,705
Yes, I'll listen to it.
973
01:07:59,208 --> 01:08:02,444
I'm working on a storythat 'll rattle a few skeletons.
974
01:08:02,545 --> 01:08:08,183
Watch this Sunday for grislyundertakings on Sunset Boulevard.
975
01:08:08,484 --> 01:08:13,655
Hmm. She certainly
has a way with words.
976
01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:15,924
You' re talking about...
977
01:08:16,025 --> 01:08:19,027
"grisly undertakings on
Sunset Boulevard", those words.
978
01:08:19,228 --> 01:08:21,596
I hope nothing serious
has happened to Verity,
979
01:08:21,697 --> 01:08:25,033
but sometimes
these tabloid journalists,
980
01:08:25,134 --> 01:08:28,436
they thrive on sensation.
981
01:08:28,604 --> 01:08:32,273
Right , sir.
So what you figure is that...
982
01:08:32,374 --> 01:08:37,745
she was gonna do one of those
sensationalized tabloid TV stories...
983
01:08:37,847 --> 01:08:40,115
on you and those missing diamonds.
984
01:08:40,216 --> 01:08:40,882
What do you think?
985
01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:44,919
I think she was. I do, yeah. Yeah.
986
01:08:45,020 --> 01:08:47,255
What about the photo of the house?
987
01:08:47,356 --> 01:08:52,560
Did she take that to show her viewing
audience as part of the TV show?
988
01:08:52,761 --> 01:08:54,062
So that’s what you think?
989
01:08:54,263 --> 01:08:56,998
Uh... no, sir.
990
01:08:57,099 --> 01:09:00,034
She took that photograph...
991
01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:04,739
to show to somebody at the funeral.
992
01:09:06,475 --> 01:09:07,375
Really?
993
01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:14,015
Ladies and gentlemen, in honour of
Eric Prince, mortician of the year,
994
01:09:14,116 --> 01:09:16,918
I dug up a little
funeral medley for you all,
995
01:09:17,019 --> 01:09:19,487
and it goes a little like this.
996
01:09:22,391 --> 01:09:25,593
When a body meets a body
997
01:09:25,694 --> 01:09:27,829
in the dead of night
998
01:09:28,597 --> 01:09:31,900
Should a body hide a body?
999
01:09:32,234 --> 01:09:35,803
Or cremate it tonight?
1000
01:09:36,805 --> 01:09:41,176
After the wake is over
1001
01:09:41,277 --> 01:09:44,779
After we've all gone home
1002
01:09:45,614 --> 01:09:49,584
After the body's buried
1003
01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:53,655
Then we can all get stoned
1004
01:09:54,023 --> 01:10:02,163
He'll be buried six feet underwhen he goes
1005
01:10:02,531 --> 01:10:06,634
He'll be buried six feet underand it isn't any wonder
1006
01:10:06,735 --> 01:10:10,538
He'll be buried six feet underwhen he goes
1007
01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:13,074
Come on along, come on along
1008
01:10:13,175 --> 01:10:15,310
Eric Prince is the man of the year
1009
01:10:15,411 --> 01:10:17,579
Come on along, come on along
1010
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:19,847
He's the reason for the beer
1011
01:10:19,949 --> 01:10:23,151
You know that he's the onewe all are here to see
1012
01:10:23,252 --> 01:10:24,586
Dear Eric
1013
01:10:24,687 --> 01:10:26,854
Come on along, come on along
1014
01:10:26,956 --> 01:10:32,393
Let 's give the guy a cheer
1015
01:10:36,765 --> 01:10:39,934
Very nice, my friend.
Very nice. Thank you.
1016
01:10:41,036 --> 01:10:42,270
Beautiful.
1017
01:10:42,905 --> 01:10:48,509
Much as I loved her, I never
did see Dorothea Page's house.
1018
01:10:48,744 --> 01:10:50,345
Did anyone else recognize the photo?
1019
01:10:50,679 --> 01:10:53,114
No, sir. No.
1020
01:10:53,449 --> 01:10:54,515
Not a soul.
1021
01:10:54,750 --> 01:10:56,417
What a shame.
1022
01:10:56,852 --> 01:10:59,554
For a moment there,
I thought you were onto something.
1023
01:11:02,157 --> 01:11:05,360
All right , ladies and gentlemen,
let 's liven things up a bit.
1024
01:11:05,461 --> 01:11:09,597
This is a party after all.
One, two, three, and...
1025
01:11:11,834 --> 01:11:13,101
Everybody, sing along.
1026
01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:16,137
You left this in the hearse.
1027
01:11:16,238 --> 01:11:19,240
I'm sure you'll wanna keep it
with your other awards.
1028
01:11:19,341 --> 01:11:23,878
My cousin's got one just like it
from the bowling league.
1029
01:11:23,979 --> 01:11:25,179
Thank you.
1030
01:11:25,814 --> 01:11:28,583
You'll have to forgive them,
Lieutenant.
1031
01:11:28,684 --> 01:11:32,220
You know, sometimes
our business can be,
1032
01:11:32,321 --> 01:11:35,590
shall I say, a little morbid.
1033
01:11:35,991 --> 01:11:39,360
Believe me, sir, if I had your job,
1034
01:11:39,461 --> 01:11:42,297
I'd be doing this every night!
1035
01:11:44,333 --> 01:11:47,969
If she was following this diamond-necklace
caper, she didn't tell me.
1036
01:11:48,070 --> 01:11:49,837
And you checked everything here?
1037
01:11:49,938 --> 01:11:52,674
You bet.
Not a mention of it anywhere.
1038
01:11:53,776 --> 01:11:55,777
But here's a really strange thing.
1039
01:11:56,278 --> 01:11:59,580
All the staff have them.
Verity always carried hers.
1040
01:11:59,848 --> 01:12:00,782
What is it?
1041
01:12:00,883 --> 01:12:02,984
It's a phone pager combined.
1042
01:12:03,218 --> 01:12:05,386
Here's where you paged me
to come over.
1043
01:12:05,521 --> 01:12:06,287
Oh, yeah.
1044
01:12:06,455 --> 01:12:08,690
"Lieutenant Columbo, 3:30."
1045
01:12:09,191 --> 01:12:11,659
Now, here's the really strange part.
1046
01:12:12,728 --> 01:12:16,397
When the public have gossip,
it usually comes in here, email,
1047
01:12:16,498 --> 01:12:18,433
then it's transferred to her pager.
1048
01:12:18,534 --> 01:12:19,534
Now,
1049
01:12:20,536 --> 01:12:21,969
look at the screen.
1050
01:12:22,805 --> 01:12:23,971
What is "interrupted"?
1051
01:12:24,073 --> 01:12:26,974
Cut off, gone, dead.
1052
01:12:28,510 --> 01:12:31,913
What could have cut off her pager...
1053
01:12:32,748 --> 01:12:34,749
at 12:32?
1054
01:12:35,250 --> 01:12:36,884
I have no idea.
1055
01:12:38,854 --> 01:12:40,021
How's the pup?
1056
01:12:41,690 --> 01:12:45,093
That's our remembrance package.
That costs $47,000.
1057
01:12:45,194 --> 01:12:46,794
Oh, I 'll remember that one!
1058
01:12:46,895 --> 01:12:48,696
Of course, we have other options.
1059
01:12:48,964 --> 01:12:52,100
Excuse me.
Nice to see you again, Lieutenant.
1060
01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:55,303
Mrs. Lerby has come
to take her husband to his final rest.
1061
01:12:56,739 --> 01:12:58,005
Our condolences.
1062
01:12:58,107 --> 01:12:59,741
Oh, jeez!
1063
01:12:59,875 --> 01:13:02,110
He's heavier now
than when he was alive!
1064
01:13:02,311 --> 01:13:04,379
Have you selected
a place for dispersal?
1065
01:13:04,813 --> 01:13:06,881
Well, he was the king of double knit ,
1066
01:13:06,982 --> 01:13:09,517
so I think I 'll spread him
over one of his stores.
1067
01:13:09,718 --> 01:13:12,019
I think that Mrs. Lerby
is pulling our leg.
1068
01:13:12,654 --> 01:13:14,522
The ashes will be dispersed
over the ocean...
1069
01:13:14,623 --> 01:13:16,791
by our helicopter at eight tonight.
1070
01:13:16,892 --> 01:13:19,927
Cremation, that might be the way to go.
1071
01:13:20,028 --> 01:13:22,997
There's no worms, but that’s hot , right?
1072
01:13:23,132 --> 01:13:25,266
Let me show you the procedure. Please.
1073
01:13:25,367 --> 01:13:26,868
- Oh, thank you.
- After you.
1074
01:13:27,336 --> 01:13:30,972
I'm leaving now, but I'll be back
in good time for the service.
1075
01:13:31,140 --> 01:13:32,707
Very fine, thank you.
1076
01:13:32,808 --> 01:13:35,009
Boy, this place is scary!
1077
01:13:35,110 --> 01:13:39,080
We would wheel you in on a gurney,
just like this one,
1078
01:13:39,181 --> 01:13:42,150
and if I had to store you overnight ,
we'd put you in here.
1079
01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:43,217
It's refrigerated.
1080
01:13:43,519 --> 01:13:45,319
Is that thing always locked?
1081
01:13:45,721 --> 01:13:48,456
If a body is stored overnight , it is.
1082
01:13:48,557 --> 01:13:51,125
We wouldn't want it
to run away on us!
1083
01:13:51,226 --> 01:13:55,363
No, sir. Do all the employees
have keys?
1084
01:13:55,831 --> 01:13:59,000
Uh, just me. Good afternoon.
Welcome to my parlour.
1085
01:13:59,234 --> 01:14:01,869
He's interested in
the cremation procedure.
1086
01:14:02,070 --> 01:14:06,107
Is he? Gerald, I'm not too happy with
the flower arrangement in the chapel.
1087
01:14:06,208 --> 01:14:09,544
Would you check it out? I'll take over.
1088
01:14:09,645 --> 01:14:11,679
Right away.
Pleasure meeting you, Lieutenant.
1089
01:14:12,214 --> 01:14:14,248
I'll give you the tour.
1090
01:14:14,383 --> 01:14:20,188
Here we have an injector tube
for blood and formaldehyde.
1091
01:14:20,522 --> 01:14:25,893
And here we have scalpels,
needles and thread,
1092
01:14:25,994 --> 01:14:28,996
putty, Pan-Cake makeup powder.
1093
01:14:29,097 --> 01:14:31,532
A mortician
not only has to be a surgeon,
1094
01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:35,503
but also part-beautician
and part-makeup artist.
1095
01:14:35,604 --> 01:14:37,505
Now, this thing is called a choker.
1096
01:14:37,606 --> 01:14:40,241
You can take it.
It's been sterilized.
1097
01:14:40,342 --> 01:14:46,047
We insert that into you, attach the tube,
to extract your combustible gases.
1098
01:14:46,148 --> 01:14:50,051
It must be a funny job, sir,
being a mortician.
1099
01:14:50,152 --> 01:14:53,788
It has its moments. That is
an indispensable piece of equipment.
1100
01:14:53,889 --> 01:14:56,057
I don't know what I'd do without it.
1101
01:14:56,158 --> 01:14:57,992
So you undress the body,
1102
01:14:58,093 --> 01:15:00,828
then you do whatever you have to do
with that stuff,
1103
01:15:00,929 --> 01:15:02,830
dress it again. Then what?
1104
01:15:03,065 --> 01:15:06,167
In the box, in the coffin, in the casket.
1105
01:15:06,268 --> 01:15:07,869
Like that one there, sir?
1106
01:15:07,970 --> 01:15:09,737
Yes, a very popular model.
1107
01:15:10,005 --> 01:15:11,472
Could two people fit in there?
1108
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,474
Afraid not.
What do you have in mind?
1109
01:15:13,709 --> 01:15:17,812
It's a crazy thought , sir. The wife
and I , we do everything together.
1110
01:15:17,913 --> 01:15:21,649
Nah, forget it. Where's the oven?
1111
01:15:21,783 --> 01:15:22,950
The oven?
1112
01:15:26,822 --> 01:15:28,823
Here's our little oven.
1113
01:15:33,295 --> 01:15:36,297
What we do is up with the door...
1114
01:15:38,901 --> 01:15:43,905
in you pop, turn on the heat
and away you go.
1115
01:15:44,006 --> 01:15:45,273
What heat would that be, sir?
1116
01:15:45,374 --> 01:15:46,741
1600 degrees.
1117
01:15:46,842 --> 01:15:49,677
And my wife
doesn't even like sunburn.
1118
01:15:49,811 --> 01:15:52,446
When it's finished,
is everything gone?
1119
01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,181
All gone.
1120
01:15:54,283 --> 01:15:55,917
And one person can run the oven?
1121
01:15:56,018 --> 01:15:57,051
Yes.
1122
01:15:58,353 --> 01:16:00,321
A whole body can
fit into one of those?
1123
01:16:00,422 --> 01:16:02,390
A human being is mostly water.
1124
01:16:02,491 --> 01:16:07,495
A man of your size would
probably burn down to about 5lbs.
1125
01:16:07,729 --> 01:16:09,330
Oh, I forgot something.
1126
01:16:09,531 --> 01:16:13,868
Yes, the Dan Riley, uh...
the Dan Riley ceremony.
1127
01:16:14,069 --> 01:16:18,105
These are his dancing shoes.
They'll be buried with him.
1128
01:16:18,206 --> 01:16:19,640
Would you care to see?
1129
01:16:19,741 --> 01:16:21,642
Yes, I would, sir. Yeah.
1130
01:16:23,378 --> 01:16:25,713
Everything would burn in that oven?
1131
01:16:25,814 --> 01:16:27,381
Of course, there are exceptions.
1132
01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:31,953
You can't cremate pacemakers,
for instance. They' re made of titanium.
1133
01:16:32,054 --> 01:16:35,089
Mr. Houston,
he didn't have one, did he?
1134
01:16:35,190 --> 01:16:36,057
No.
1135
01:16:36,158 --> 01:16:38,225
That's much better, Gerald.
1136
01:16:38,327 --> 01:16:42,063
You and Hugo can go now, but do
check everything before the service.
1137
01:16:42,297 --> 01:16:44,799
- It shall be done, sir.
- Thank you. Hugo.
1138
01:16:44,900 --> 01:16:46,434
Now, after the service,
1139
01:16:46,535 --> 01:16:50,438
these are placed in the casket
before the casket is closed.
1140
01:16:50,539 --> 01:16:54,342
Sir, in case you were wondering,
Miss Chandler,
1141
01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:55,810
she didn't wear a pacemaker.
1142
01:16:55,911 --> 01:16:57,011
I wasn't wondering.
1143
01:16:57,112 --> 01:17:01,749
Yeah, but she did have one of these.
This is a... a pager.
1144
01:17:01,850 --> 01:17:05,252
She had this model, sir.
Oh, she carried this everywhere,
1145
01:17:05,354 --> 01:17:08,089
probably in her pocket ,
and this would tell her...
1146
01:17:08,190 --> 01:17:12,126
when she received email messages
from the computer.
1147
01:17:12,227 --> 01:17:16,464
And on the day she disappeared, she
received messages, oh, let 's see...
1148
01:17:16,565 --> 01:17:19,934
11:13 and 11:57,
1149
01:17:20,035 --> 01:17:23,170
but then, at 12:32...
1150
01:17:23,939 --> 01:17:25,873
the pager cut off.
1151
01:17:26,341 --> 01:17:28,309
No more signals. Kaput.
1152
01:17:28,410 --> 01:17:29,477
What do you think caused that?
1153
01:17:29,578 --> 01:17:34,849
Oh-ho! Ah!
That is a burning question, sir.
1154
01:17:34,950 --> 01:17:36,317
I think she was dead.
1155
01:17:36,418 --> 01:17:37,118
Really?
1156
01:17:37,352 --> 01:17:40,655
Yeah. I think she was killed
right here at the Houston service.
1157
01:17:40,756 --> 01:17:42,323
What would the killer do with the body?
1158
01:17:42,424 --> 01:17:45,192
He would get rid of it.
He'd cremate it.
1159
01:17:45,293 --> 01:17:48,763
There was only Chuck Houston's
cremation that day. I did it.
1160
01:17:48,930 --> 01:17:52,366
Yes, so the killer would have
had to have switched the bodies,
1161
01:17:52,467 --> 01:17:54,902
switched Chuck Houston
with Miss Chandler.
1162
01:17:55,203 --> 01:17:57,104
I see.
So if he had switched the bodies,
1163
01:17:57,205 --> 01:17:59,674
that would explain
the pager going kaput.
1164
01:17:59,841 --> 01:18:02,209
Yes, sir. It would.
1165
01:18:02,310 --> 01:18:06,280
I see. Well, since there was only one
cremation that day and I performed it ,
1166
01:18:06,415 --> 01:18:09,517
that would make me the murderer.
1167
01:18:09,618 --> 01:18:13,220
Do tell me, do you have any bodies?
1168
01:18:13,321 --> 01:18:14,922
No, sir, I don't.
1169
01:18:15,157 --> 01:18:18,626
So if you don't have any bodies,
you can't prove there was a switch.
1170
01:18:18,794 --> 01:18:20,594
No, sir, I can't.
1171
01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:22,196
No bodies, no case.
1172
01:18:22,297 --> 01:18:24,899
Mm-hm. I suppose so.
1173
01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:27,902
That's the tricky thing
about burning questions,
1174
01:18:28,003 --> 01:18:33,541
once they' re burned,
they' re just ashes. Ashes!
1175
01:18:34,376 --> 01:18:35,976
Have you gone?
1176
01:18:39,381 --> 01:18:40,848
That's a nice display, ma'am.
1177
01:18:41,950 --> 01:18:44,085
My housekeeper made that.
1178
01:18:44,186 --> 01:18:48,155
If I'd done it ,
they'd all be cockeyed, like me.
1179
01:18:48,423 --> 01:18:50,191
Nice place you got here.
1180
01:18:50,592 --> 01:18:54,495
Just a little ol' ranch house.
800 acres.
1181
01:18:55,330 --> 01:18:59,834
Chuck just craved it for his horses,
like I crave my bourbon.
1182
01:19:00,202 --> 01:19:01,802
Oh, my God!
1183
01:19:02,037 --> 01:19:03,003
Are you all right , ma'am?
1184
01:19:04,506 --> 01:19:08,976
I'm psychotic, Lieutenant.
I should get disaster aid, like Chuck.
1185
01:19:09,177 --> 01:19:12,213
Poor darling, he was wounded
so many times in the war.
1186
01:19:12,681 --> 01:19:15,182
Oh, you should've seen his x-rays.
They were grisly.
1187
01:19:15,283 --> 01:19:17,318
He only mounted one,
the one on the wall.
1188
01:19:17,919 --> 01:19:19,987
The one that made him limp
till the day he died.
1189
01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:23,524
You wanna know why I'm like this?
1190
01:19:23,625 --> 01:19:27,394
Because when you called
and said you'd be here in an hour,
1191
01:19:27,496 --> 01:19:30,364
I just had to help myself
to a few cocktails...
1192
01:19:30,465 --> 01:19:32,032
because I know why you' re here.
1193
01:19:32,334 --> 01:19:34,902
I just wanted
to ask you a few questions.
1194
01:19:35,303 --> 01:19:36,370
All right.
1195
01:19:36,772 --> 01:19:39,206
I confess. I confess!
1196
01:19:39,307 --> 01:19:41,842
I throw myself
on the mercy of the court. I did it!
1197
01:19:42,644 --> 01:19:43,844
Did what , ma'am?
1198
01:19:44,112 --> 01:19:47,715
I threw Chuck's ashes over the sign,
the Hollywood sign.
1199
01:19:48,049 --> 01:19:51,619
Oh, well, that’s against the law,
ma'am, and...
1200
01:19:52,654 --> 01:19:54,321
that’s not...
1201
01:19:57,859 --> 01:19:59,226
good.
1202
01:19:59,427 --> 01:20:03,697
Oh. I only did it
because I thought he'd like it.
1203
01:20:04,766 --> 01:20:06,133
Am I gonna do time?
1204
01:20:06,635 --> 01:20:10,538
You told me the best confession ever.
1205
01:20:10,772 --> 01:20:13,607
I did? Are you gonna arrest me?
1206
01:20:13,708 --> 01:20:16,143
I'm going to arrest you, ma'am,
1207
01:20:16,244 --> 01:20:19,914
like no one has ever been arrested before.
1208
01:20:22,450 --> 01:20:26,854
He was a great artist ,
ladies and gentlemen.
1209
01:20:27,789 --> 01:20:30,624
And now a special tribute...
1210
01:20:30,725 --> 01:20:33,494
that I know Dan would appreciate.
1211
01:20:49,477 --> 01:20:51,078
Beautiful.
1212
01:20:51,613 --> 01:20:53,614
Just beautiful.
1213
01:20:53,715 --> 01:20:54,915
Thank you.
1214
01:20:55,450 --> 01:20:58,052
But I didn't come here
for the service, sir.
1215
01:20:58,153 --> 01:20:59,653
That's a pity.
1216
01:21:00,722 --> 01:21:03,757
But I have to speak to you,
sir, tonight.
1217
01:21:03,859 --> 01:21:05,860
This is not the time, nor the place.
1218
01:21:05,961 --> 01:21:07,528
When and where, sir?
1219
01:21:07,629 --> 01:21:09,463
This service will be over soon.
1220
01:21:09,564 --> 01:21:12,399
I'll be working late.
In my office at nine.
1221
01:21:12,500 --> 01:21:14,702
That should fit in very well.
At nine?
1222
01:21:14,803 --> 01:21:16,604
Yes. I 'll leave the gate open.
1223
01:21:16,705 --> 01:21:20,541
You make a left , follow the building
and my office is on the right.
1224
01:21:20,642 --> 01:21:21,609
There's a sign.
1225
01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:24,845
Left , right , a sign,
and you'll be there?
1226
01:21:24,946 --> 01:21:26,680
- Yes!
- Thank you very much, sir,
1227
01:21:26,781 --> 01:21:29,183
And I'm sorry about the intrusion.
1228
01:21:29,284 --> 01:21:30,284
Yes!
1229
01:21:34,522 --> 01:21:38,492
You sure know
how to send somebody away in style.
1230
01:21:57,245 --> 01:21:58,279
Come in.
1231
01:22:00,815 --> 01:22:02,950
Good evening. Right on time.
1232
01:22:03,051 --> 01:22:05,152
Oh, tea for two.
1233
01:22:05,253 --> 01:22:08,789
I thought it might be appropriate
after that service you attended today.
1234
01:22:08,890 --> 01:22:12,459
I hope you... Pull up a chair.
I hope you like tea.
1235
01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:13,861
Oh, it's my wife's favourite, sir.
1236
01:22:13,962 --> 01:22:16,630
Splendid.
And help yourself to milk and sugar.
1237
01:22:16,731 --> 01:22:19,533
Oh, very nice, sir.
Very nice indeed.
1238
01:22:19,634 --> 01:22:23,637
These tongs, very nice.
My wife, she uses a spoon.
1239
01:22:23,738 --> 01:22:24,872
Does she?
1240
01:22:26,207 --> 01:22:28,676
Oh, very nice.
1241
01:22:31,446 --> 01:22:34,081
Nice. Never tasted anything like it.
1242
01:22:34,349 --> 01:22:35,649
Darjeeling.
1243
01:22:36,117 --> 01:22:39,720
I 've been chasing guys like you
for 25 years.
1244
01:22:40,689 --> 01:22:43,390
Caught every one, except you.
1245
01:22:44,025 --> 01:22:45,159
I hate to lose.
1246
01:22:45,260 --> 01:22:46,460
So do I.
1247
01:22:46,995 --> 01:22:49,730
You heard the one about
the wealthy old lady?
1248
01:22:49,831 --> 01:22:52,032
Hated her kids, but loved the dog.
1249
01:22:52,133 --> 01:22:53,434
I'm afraid not.
1250
01:22:53,535 --> 01:22:56,437
The dog always wore
a rhinestone collar.
1251
01:22:56,538 --> 01:22:59,873
And when the old lady died,
the kids couldn't find the money.
1252
01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:01,275
It disappeared.
1253
01:23:02,043 --> 01:23:04,578
Eight years later, the dog died.
1254
01:23:04,779 --> 01:23:09,149
It was cremated. Nothing left
except a mound of ashes...
1255
01:23:09,250 --> 01:23:13,988
and a $450,000 pile of diamonds.
1256
01:23:15,023 --> 01:23:21,061
So that wasn't a rhinestone collar
the dog had on. No, sir.
1257
01:23:21,696 --> 01:23:27,101
No. That was a $450,000
diamond collar.
1258
01:23:27,302 --> 01:23:29,003
Fascinating.
1259
01:23:29,771 --> 01:23:32,573
You see, sir, diamonds don't burn.
1260
01:23:33,341 --> 01:23:36,810
But you already know that , sir.
1261
01:23:36,911 --> 01:23:42,316
That's why you took Dorothea Page's
necklace off her dead neck,
1262
01:23:42,450 --> 01:23:46,453
opened her mouth
and dropped it down her throat ,
1263
01:23:46,554 --> 01:23:49,423
so you could cremate the body
the next day...
1264
01:23:49,524 --> 01:23:53,694
and take the diamonds out of the oven
and put 'em in your pocket.
1265
01:23:53,795 --> 01:23:58,999
Why am I telling you this?
Because it makes me feel good.
1266
01:23:59,434 --> 01:24:02,503
I gotta get some satisfaction
out of this.
1267
01:24:02,604 --> 01:24:04,638
I'm gonna make an arrest tonight ,
1268
01:24:05,073 --> 01:24:09,209
but I can't lay a finger on you, sir.
1269
01:24:09,310 --> 01:24:11,845
I haven't understood one word,
1270
01:24:11,946 --> 01:24:15,282
but that last part about the finger,
I like that.
1271
01:24:15,650 --> 01:24:19,053
It sounded good.
What 's that thing doing here tonight?
1272
01:24:19,154 --> 01:24:21,789
- Oh, that’s gonna land, sir.
- Is it?
1273
01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:23,490
Yeah, that’s landing.
1274
01:24:23,591 --> 01:24:25,059
I 'll go check on it.
1275
01:24:25,160 --> 01:24:27,428
Uh, sir, hold on just one minute.
1276
01:24:27,529 --> 01:24:30,497
Let me take another
sip of this beautiful tea.
1277
01:24:31,166 --> 01:24:35,102
Oh, these tongs, sir,
they' re really special.
1278
01:24:35,203 --> 01:24:38,472
Why don't you keep them?
Save your wife using the spoon.
1279
01:24:38,573 --> 01:24:41,108
Thank you very much.
That's very nice.
1280
01:24:41,209 --> 01:24:45,112
Oh, yeah, these, uh...
They could come in useful.
1281
01:24:45,613 --> 01:24:46,980
Are you ready?
1282
01:24:51,653 --> 01:24:53,287
I'm ready now, sir.
1283
01:24:54,155 --> 01:24:57,825
Hey, guys, switch on your headlights
and those sidelights!
1284
01:24:57,926 --> 01:24:59,827
Let 's get some light on this thing.
1285
01:24:59,928 --> 01:25:01,361
Yes, Lieutenant.
1286
01:25:01,596 --> 01:25:03,130
What 's Mrs. Houston doing here?
1287
01:25:03,231 --> 01:25:05,299
That lady is my arrest.
1288
01:25:05,400 --> 01:25:06,500
Why?
1289
01:25:06,734 --> 01:25:11,138
She spread ashes over the Hollywood Hills.
That's against the law.
1290
01:25:11,239 --> 01:25:13,273
Oh, Eric, I 've been such a fool.
1291
01:25:13,374 --> 01:25:14,975
Yes, it's all going to be all right.
1292
01:25:15,076 --> 01:25:16,110
Maybe,
1293
01:25:16,211 --> 01:25:19,313
if you'll tell the judge that the
warning about it's against the law...
1294
01:25:19,414 --> 01:25:21,482
is in very fine print.
1295
01:25:21,583 --> 01:25:23,217
If you'll do that ,
that could help her.
1296
01:25:23,318 --> 01:25:24,184
It shall be done.
1297
01:25:24,285 --> 01:25:27,554
All right. Ma'am,
return to the police car.
1298
01:25:27,655 --> 01:25:28,856
Now, go.
1299
01:25:29,691 --> 01:25:32,626
Just precisely what is going on here?
1300
01:25:32,727 --> 01:25:35,028
Oh, it 'll all be all right , sir.
1301
01:25:35,130 --> 01:25:36,897
Just to verify,
1302
01:25:36,998 --> 01:25:41,068
did you cremate Mr. Houston
at 12:20pm Thursday afternoon?
1303
01:25:41,169 --> 01:25:41,969
I did.
1304
01:25:42,070 --> 01:25:43,470
Very good.
1305
01:25:44,205 --> 01:25:47,074
Uh, you, sir! The pilot!
1306
01:25:47,175 --> 01:25:48,809
They tell me they call you Joe.
1307
01:25:48,910 --> 01:25:51,778
Come on over here, Joe,
and bring that bag with you.
1308
01:25:52,046 --> 01:25:54,882
Are you from the Prince Funeral Home?
1309
01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,016
Yes, sir, I am.
1310
01:25:56,117 --> 01:25:59,086
And on Thursday, did this woman,
Mrs. Houston,
1311
01:25:59,187 --> 01:26:01,288
bring ashes aboard your copter...
1312
01:26:01,389 --> 01:26:03,757
and tell you to fly over
the Hollywood sign?
1313
01:26:03,858 --> 01:26:04,758
Yes, sir, she did.
1314
01:26:04,859 --> 01:26:07,928
Did she dump
those ashes over the sign?
1315
01:26:08,029 --> 01:26:08,729
She did.
1316
01:26:08,830 --> 01:26:12,132
I 'll take that bag, thank you.
Did you report that?
1317
01:26:12,400 --> 01:26:13,634
No, sir, I didn't.
1318
01:26:13,735 --> 01:26:17,804
All right. Report to the squad car,
please. Thank you very much.
1319
01:26:19,841 --> 01:26:24,278
The name "Lerby" written here, did you
write that when you cremated the body?
1320
01:26:24,379 --> 01:26:25,946
Yes, I did, but how the blazes...
1321
01:26:26,047 --> 01:26:29,616
I radioed the pilot , ordered him back.
1322
01:26:29,717 --> 01:26:31,652
His licence is in jeopardy.
1323
01:26:32,187 --> 01:26:35,322
Ma'am, I'm Lieutenant Columbo.
We met this morning.
1324
01:26:35,423 --> 01:26:37,958
I gotta confiscate
your husband's ashes.
1325
01:26:38,393 --> 01:26:40,460
Oh, no. He's like a bad penny.
1326
01:26:40,562 --> 01:26:43,096
Was your husband a war hero?
1327
01:26:43,198 --> 01:26:45,632
War hero! He was never in any war.
1328
01:26:45,733 --> 01:26:46,833
Never served?
1329
01:26:46,935 --> 01:26:49,269
No, he was 4-F,
like everything in his life.
1330
01:26:49,370 --> 01:26:50,470
Never decorated?
1331
01:26:50,572 --> 01:26:51,538
Of course not.
1332
01:26:51,639 --> 01:26:55,842
Cos I'm thinking of Chuck Houston,
who was not only a movie idol,
1333
01:26:55,944 --> 01:26:57,911
he was a legitimate war hero.
1334
01:26:58,012 --> 01:27:02,716
Fought all across the Pacific,
was wounded, hospitalized, endured pain.
1335
01:27:02,817 --> 01:27:06,353
You should see his x-rays.
He even had 'em framed.
1336
01:27:06,521 --> 01:27:09,489
Walked with a limp
to the day of his death.
1337
01:27:09,591 --> 01:27:11,325
Now, Mr. Prince,
1338
01:27:11,426 --> 01:27:15,629
if you did cremate Chuck Houston
on Thursday, as you claim,
1339
01:27:15,730 --> 01:27:19,766
when Mrs. Houston spread those ashes
over the Hollywood Hills,
1340
01:27:19,867 --> 01:27:23,837
Chuck and everything with him
ended up on that hillside.
1341
01:27:23,938 --> 01:27:25,539
But if you didn't...
1342
01:27:26,274 --> 01:27:29,977
if, instead, his body was switched...
1343
01:28:02,510 --> 01:28:04,945
I thought these might be useful.
1344
01:28:17,859 --> 01:28:20,794
Chuck Houston
had a piece of shrapnel in him.
1345
01:28:21,262 --> 01:28:26,633
A piece of shrapnel made of stainless
steel, hardest metal on earth, sir.
1346
01:28:26,734 --> 01:28:30,570
Like titanium, it won't melt
if you put 2,000 degrees on it.
1347
01:28:30,672 --> 01:28:33,874
Hard evidence, very distinctive shape.
1348
01:28:33,975 --> 01:28:35,642
I think the chances that...
1349
01:28:35,743 --> 01:28:40,714
this piece of metal will match
Mr. Houston's x-rays are good.
1350
01:28:40,848 --> 01:28:43,750
Now, sir,
perhaps you can explain...
1351
01:28:43,851 --> 01:28:46,153
how a piece of Mr. Houston's...
1352
01:28:46,254 --> 01:28:49,856
50-year-old war record
ended up in the urn...
1353
01:28:49,957 --> 01:28:55,228
of a 48-year-old leisurewear importer
from Sherman Oaks.
1354
01:28:55,797 --> 01:28:57,564
Very good.
1355
01:28:57,965 --> 01:29:00,334
Very, very good.
1356
01:29:02,170 --> 01:29:04,104
Would you excuse me, please?
1357
01:29:04,205 --> 01:29:06,306
Where are you going, Mr. Prince?
1358
01:29:07,775 --> 01:29:10,444
I'm going to the police car.
1359
01:29:10,645 --> 01:29:12,879
I'm wondering whether
we should travel separately,
1360
01:29:12,980 --> 01:29:15,582
or perhaps you'd care to join me.
1361
01:29:15,683 --> 01:29:18,618
Well, that’s up to you, sir.
It's, uh...
1362
01:29:19,320 --> 01:29:20,887
your funeral.
103155
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