All language subtitles for Modern.Family.S01E17.Truth.Be.Told.HDTV.XviD-FQM

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,367 --> 00:00:10,267 Doesn't she also have No boys at forever? 2 00:00:10,201 --> 00:00:12,369 Don't you have an eating disorder you need to attend to? 3 00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:16,507 Yeah, anyway, uh, we could see the 4:00 or the 6:20. 4 00:00:16,541 --> 00:00:17,708 Oh, actually, that's no good. 5 00:00:17,742 --> 00:00:19,176 I'm meeting my friend denise for a drink. 6 00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:21,078 Denise? Do I know denise? 7 00:00:21,112 --> 00:00:23,180 Yeah, you know, my old girlfriend. Oh, my god. Gross. 8 00:00:23,214 --> 00:00:25,215 I can't even picture you with a woman. 9 00:00:25,250 --> 00:00:26,583 Thank you. 10 00:00:26,618 --> 00:00:27,851 You had a girlfriend before mom? 11 00:00:27,886 --> 00:00:29,019 Try two. 12 00:00:29,053 --> 00:00:31,755 Trust me. I had plenty of fun in my time. 13 00:00:31,789 --> 00:00:33,223 And then I met your mom. 14 00:00:33,258 --> 00:00:34,858 And thank you. 15 00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:39,096 So, uh, I guess she travels around selling makeup 16 00:00:39,130 --> 00:00:40,430 For a cosmetics company. 17 00:00:40,465 --> 00:00:41,832 She's in town for a week. 18 00:00:41,866 --> 00:00:44,034 You mean she's like a door-to-door salesman? 19 00:00:44,068 --> 00:00:45,469 If you were doing it, 20 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,604 They'd call it a dork-to-dork salesman. 21 00:00:47,639 --> 00:00:49,106 Ohh! 22 00:00:49,140 --> 00:00:51,441 My boy strikes like a rattlesnake! 23 00:00:51,476 --> 00:00:54,811 Oh, yeah? Well -- well, you... 24 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,247 Wow. All right, well, we can see the movie tomorrow. 25 00:00:57,282 --> 00:00:59,016 Come on. It's time for your lesson. 26 00:00:59,050 --> 00:01:02,619 You mean her second lesson, because she just got schooled. 27 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:05,956 What's wrong with me today? 28 00:01:05,990 --> 00:01:07,057 Shake it off, champ. 29 00:01:07,091 --> 00:01:08,492 It's not your day. 30 00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,193 Hey. 31 00:01:10,228 --> 00:01:11,628 Ay. 32 00:01:11,663 --> 00:01:14,264 Good morning, papi. Is it? 33 00:01:14,299 --> 00:01:17,167 Aw, you're still sad because of that audition. 34 00:01:17,201 --> 00:01:19,770 That part was mine. I was born to play tevye. 35 00:01:19,804 --> 00:01:21,605 Instead they give it to rod jackson? 36 00:01:21,639 --> 00:01:23,307 What does he know from suffering? 37 00:01:23,341 --> 00:01:24,408 How we doing? 38 00:01:24,442 --> 00:01:25,642 A little better, 39 00:01:25,677 --> 00:01:28,145 But we're gonna go and throw ice cream at the problem. 40 00:01:28,179 --> 00:01:30,847 Well, if that doesn't work, this should do the trick. 41 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,550 "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." 42 00:01:33,585 --> 00:01:34,885 We can hang this in your room. 43 00:01:34,919 --> 00:01:36,787 You can see it every morning, start to internalize it. 44 00:01:36,821 --> 00:01:38,355 Pretty soon, nothing will keep you down. 45 00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:40,123 But it's not true. What are you talking about? 46 00:01:40,158 --> 00:01:42,259 Lots of stuff that doesn't kill you makes you weaker. 47 00:01:42,293 --> 00:01:44,227 My friend's grandfather had a heart attack. 48 00:01:44,262 --> 00:01:45,796 Now he needs a machine to breathe. 49 00:01:45,830 --> 00:01:47,331 I've seen him at the supermarket. 50 00:01:47,365 --> 00:01:49,566 Now he needs to drive one of those little, like... 51 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:52,135 Yeah, that's right. Be negative. 52 00:01:52,170 --> 00:01:54,905 It's just not a good poster, jay. 53 00:01:54,939 --> 00:01:56,873 You're only making me stronger. 54 00:01:57,848 --> 00:02:07,117 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 55 00:02:09,621 --> 00:02:11,188 Did you pack the, uh, bread for the ducks? 56 00:02:11,222 --> 00:02:12,522 Yes. 57 00:02:12,557 --> 00:02:14,491 Not the whole-wheat kind. The ducks don't like that. 58 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,093 They're ducks, mitchell. They don't care. 59 00:02:16,127 --> 00:02:17,427 We both believe that animals 60 00:02:17,462 --> 00:02:19,296 Should play a big part in lily's life. 61 00:02:19,330 --> 00:02:21,765 Having grown up on a farm, I was surrounded by them. 62 00:02:21,799 --> 00:02:23,500 They were more like brothers and sisters 63 00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:24,901 Than just, you ow, livestock. 64 00:02:26,004 --> 00:02:27,838 Delicious brothers and sisters. 65 00:02:27,872 --> 00:02:30,007 Life on a farm -- they know what they're getting into. 66 00:02:31,142 --> 00:02:32,242 Eesh. 67 00:02:33,645 --> 00:02:35,445 Wait. Oh, it's the office. 68 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,214 Don't answer it. I have to. 69 00:02:37,248 --> 00:02:39,149 It's like this every Saturday. Just ignore it. 70 00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:40,717 Well, maybe it's not that this time. 71 00:02:40,752 --> 00:02:42,853 Hello? 72 00:02:45,089 --> 00:02:46,523 Yeah. 73 00:02:53,998 --> 00:02:55,365 That's nice. 74 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:00,203 Holy... 75 00:03:00,238 --> 00:03:02,839 Shel? You all right, buddy? 76 00:03:05,743 --> 00:03:07,611 Oh, there's four of them, mitchell! 77 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,479 They're giving her little duck kisses, 78 00:03:09,514 --> 00:03:10,881 And she -- oh, she's laughing! 79 00:03:10,915 --> 00:03:12,482 I can't believe you're missing this. 80 00:03:12,517 --> 00:03:14,551 Well, why not, cam? I've missed everything else. 81 00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:16,219 She rolled over when I was in phoenix. 82 00:03:16,254 --> 00:03:18,021 She started scooting en I was in court. 83 00:03:18,056 --> 00:03:20,323 Well, just tell them you're not coming in. 84 00:03:20,358 --> 00:03:21,692 You do enough for them. 85 00:03:21,726 --> 00:03:25,228 Well, you know that, I know that, you know? 86 00:03:25,263 --> 00:03:28,932 The only one who doesn't know that is my sucky boss. 87 00:03:28,966 --> 00:03:31,268 He's the suckiest suck of all time. 88 00:03:31,302 --> 00:03:34,738 He's a miserable son of a bitch who... 89 00:03:34,772 --> 00:03:39,476 May have heard everything I just said. 90 00:03:46,007 --> 00:03:47,941 When are you getting together with your gal pal? 91 00:03:47,976 --> 00:03:49,243 Actually, I was just checking on that. 92 00:03:49,277 --> 00:03:50,577 She's supposed to send me a message. 93 00:03:50,612 --> 00:03:52,613 Ohh. You're facebook friends. 94 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:53,981 Sure am. Oh... 95 00:03:54,015 --> 00:03:56,850 She's one of my 447 friends. 96 00:03:56,885 --> 00:03:58,019 Everybody wants a slice. 97 00:03:58,453 --> 00:04:00,454 How long have you two been in touch with each other? 98 00:04:00,489 --> 00:04:02,556 Uh, she tracked me down about a year ago. 99 00:04:02,591 --> 00:04:04,926 Mm. Mm, mm. 100 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,527 What? What's -- what's that sound? 101 00:04:06,561 --> 00:04:08,262 Mm. Nothing. 102 00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:10,331 Oh. There she is right now. 103 00:04:11,566 --> 00:04:15,703 "how about we meet at le reve at 7:30?" 104 00:04:15,737 --> 00:04:17,538 Well, that sounds innocent enough. 105 00:04:17,572 --> 00:04:19,440 I mean, drinks with an ex-girlfriend 106 00:04:19,474 --> 00:04:21,275 At an intimate french restaurant. 107 00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:22,443 Honey, you're doing that thing 108 00:04:22,477 --> 00:04:23,744 Where you say what I want you to say 109 00:04:23,779 --> 00:04:25,813 But your tone seems mean. 110 00:04:25,847 --> 00:04:28,950 Let me guess - denise isn't married. 111 00:04:28,984 --> 00:04:30,918 Recently divorced. What's the big deal? 112 00:04:30,953 --> 00:04:33,587 Come on, phil. You can't be that naive. 113 00:04:33,622 --> 00:04:36,257 Seriously, women in their 30s on the internet are like -- 114 00:04:36,291 --> 00:04:37,291 They're like ninjas. 115 00:04:37,326 --> 00:04:38,926 They get in their little black outfits 116 00:04:38,961 --> 00:04:40,962 And try and sneak their way into your marriage. 117 00:04:40,996 --> 00:04:42,296 That's not denise. Mm. 118 00:04:42,331 --> 00:04:44,265 Here, read some of her messages. 119 00:04:44,299 --> 00:04:45,399 You're gonna feel silly. 120 00:04:45,434 --> 00:04:47,301 Go ahead. 121 00:04:47,336 --> 00:04:49,270 "hey, phil. How's it goin'?" 122 00:04:49,304 --> 00:04:51,005 You can't add the sexy voice. 123 00:04:51,039 --> 00:04:52,506 "hi, phil. How's it going?" 124 00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:55,376 "so glad to hear your neck is bette" 125 00:04:55,410 --> 00:04:56,877 Are you seriously jealous? 126 00:04:56,912 --> 00:04:58,679 no! I am not jealous at all. 127 00:04:58,714 --> 00:05:00,614 I just happen to know women better than you do, 128 00:05:00,649 --> 00:05:02,583 And that woman wants a slice. 129 00:05:02,617 --> 00:05:04,352 Okay, just to prove how wrong you are, 130 00:05:04,386 --> 00:05:06,253 I'm gonna invite her over here for drinks. 131 00:05:06,288 --> 00:05:07,521 Fine with me. 132 00:05:07,556 --> 00:05:09,023 Just hope it's fine with denise. 133 00:05:09,057 --> 00:05:10,458 "gee, phil. 134 00:05:10,492 --> 00:05:12,493 I really had my heart set on le reve." 135 00:05:12,527 --> 00:05:14,729 That voice doesn't bother me. 136 00:05:14,763 --> 00:05:16,630 Kind of like it! 137 00:05:16,665 --> 00:05:18,499 Well, has he been acting weird around you? 138 00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:20,234 No, no. I've been avoiding him all morning. 139 00:05:20,268 --> 00:05:21,869 So you don't even know if he heard you. 140 00:05:21,903 --> 00:05:23,871 Well, that's why we're doing this. 141 00:05:23,905 --> 00:05:26,607 Hey, where are you? I only have a half-hour for lunch. 142 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:29,610 Hello, handsome. 143 00:05:29,644 --> 00:05:31,278 Okay, so, uh, this is where it happened. 144 00:05:31,313 --> 00:05:33,047 Just, um, turn off the phone, roll down the window, 145 00:05:33,081 --> 00:05:34,515 And we'll -- we'll see if you can hear me. 146 00:05:34,549 --> 00:05:35,783 Okay. 147 00:05:36,985 --> 00:05:40,187 Go around! We're re-creating a faux pas! 148 00:05:40,222 --> 00:05:41,389 Thank you! 149 00:05:41,423 --> 00:05:43,824 Okay. C-can you hear me now? 150 00:05:43,859 --> 00:05:45,960 Uh, yeah, but just barely. Is this how loud you were talking? 151 00:05:45,994 --> 00:05:47,828 Uh, well, it might have been a little bit louder. 152 00:05:47,863 --> 00:05:49,630 There was traffic. I mean, I almost had to shout. 153 00:05:49,664 --> 00:05:50,965 You almost had to what? Shout. 154 00:05:50,999 --> 00:05:52,466 Little bit louder now. Shout! 155 00:05:52,501 --> 00:05:54,035 Little bit louder now. Shout!! 156 00:05:54,069 --> 00:05:56,037 * hey, hey, hey, hey * 157 00:05:56,071 --> 00:05:57,138 Really, cam? 158 00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:58,806 My job is at stake here and -- 159 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,107 Oh, w-who are we kidding? 160 00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:02,943 You can obviously hear me. I am so screwed. 161 00:06:04,379 --> 00:06:06,213 Manny? 162 00:06:06,248 --> 00:06:07,748 Manny, come here a second, pal. 163 00:06:07,783 --> 00:06:08,916 Huh? 164 00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:10,284 I got some bad news, buddy. 165 00:06:10,318 --> 00:06:11,218 What iit? 166 00:06:11,253 --> 00:06:13,521 Well, there's no easy way to say this. 167 00:06:14,623 --> 00:06:18,325 Shel turtlestein is dead. 168 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,127 I was down here reading the paper, 169 00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,596 And I heard this commotion up in your room, so... 170 00:06:22,631 --> 00:06:24,665 So naturally I go running up there. 171 00:06:24,699 --> 00:06:28,135 And this mangy raccoon had busted through your screen. 172 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:30,237 He must have scampered up to where shel was. 173 00:06:32,507 --> 00:06:34,108 By the time I walked in, he had him -- 174 00:06:34,142 --> 00:06:36,177 The little bastard had him by the neck, shaking him. 175 00:06:36,211 --> 00:06:39,046 Gravel's flying everywhere. 176 00:06:39,081 --> 00:06:40,147 He didn't even flinch. 177 00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:42,049 He just stared at me with that smug look 178 00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:43,517 And then bolted. 179 00:06:43,552 --> 00:06:47,088 If only I'd have got here earlier. 180 00:06:47,122 --> 00:06:48,789 May I see the body? 181 00:06:48,824 --> 00:06:50,624 Baby, are you sure that's a good idea? 182 00:06:50,659 --> 00:06:52,093 It's something I have to do. 183 00:06:54,863 --> 00:06:56,597 That's him. Sorry, pal. 184 00:06:56,631 --> 00:06:58,365 It just doesn' make any sense. 185 00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,867 Yep. Only the good die young. 186 00:06:59,901 --> 00:07:01,836 But in school we leaed raccoons are nocturnal. 187 00:07:01,870 --> 00:07:03,204 They sleep during the day. 188 00:07:03,238 --> 00:07:05,106 They sure do, and this one must've got up 189 00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:06,273 For a midnight snack. 190 00:07:06,308 --> 00:07:07,541 You know, we've all done that. 191 00:07:07,576 --> 00:07:08,876 I guess so. Yeah. 192 00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:10,177 It all adds up. 193 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:12,179 I don't think I can be in here right now. 194 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:13,914 Too many memories. 195 00:07:13,949 --> 00:07:16,383 He'll be okay. 196 00:07:17,452 --> 00:07:19,120 You lie. What? 197 00:07:19,154 --> 00:07:20,254 I'm colombian. 198 00:07:20,288 --> 00:07:22,756 I know a fake crime scene when I see one! 199 00:07:22,791 --> 00:07:25,726 I was hanging up the new poster. 200 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,528 And it fell on top of him. It was an accident. 201 00:07:27,562 --> 00:07:28,963 You have to tell him. 202 00:07:28,997 --> 00:07:30,598 No. I've been through this before. 203 00:07:30,632 --> 00:07:31,665 When mitchell was 9, 204 00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:33,501 I was suosed to take care of his bird. 205 00:07:33,535 --> 00:07:35,636 It got out and flew into a fan. 206 00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:37,471 It was like a bloody pillow fight. 207 00:07:37,506 --> 00:07:39,840 My god. How many pets have you killed? Just the two. 208 00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:41,842 I took the heat on the bird. It was a big mistake. 209 00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:44,345 To this day, mitchell looks at me, I see him thinking, 210 00:07:44,379 --> 00:07:46,380 "that's the guy who killed fly-za minnelli." 211 00:07:46,414 --> 00:07:48,516 And what if he finds out? Then what? 212 00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:51,519 You'll be the guy that killed his pet and lied to him. 213 00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:54,121 He's not gonna find out, because I covered my tracks. 214 00:07:54,156 --> 00:07:56,590 Okay. 215 00:07:57,626 --> 00:07:58,826 Fly-za minnelli? 216 00:07:58,860 --> 00:08:01,462 How did I not know that kid was gay? 217 00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:05,766 Hey, luke! Big day for you, huh? 218 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,101 Why? 219 00:08:07,135 --> 00:08:09,870 Because you get to meet your real mom. What? 220 00:08:09,905 --> 00:08:13,007 We all made a pact we'd deny it until you turned 21, 221 00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:15,109 But that's the real reason 222 00:08:15,143 --> 00:08:16,944 Dad's old girlfriend is coming over. 223 00:08:16,978 --> 00:08:19,113 She's your mom, and if she likes you, 224 00:08:19,147 --> 00:08:20,681 You'll go live with her. 225 00:08:20,715 --> 00:08:22,116 I'm not adopted. 226 00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:23,651 I'm asking mom. 227 00:08:23,685 --> 00:08:25,352 You mean mrs. Dunphy? 228 00:08:25,387 --> 00:08:27,154 She's not going to tell you the truth. 229 00:08:27,189 --> 00:08:28,856 I-I-I'm not... 230 00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:31,625 I know. Unh! 231 00:08:33,895 --> 00:08:38,299 Just 'cause he called you a dork-to-dork salesman? 232 00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,568 The empire strikes back. 233 00:08:40,602 --> 00:08:42,836 Raccoons have five toes. 234 00:08:42,871 --> 00:08:43,904 What's that? 235 00:08:43,939 --> 00:08:45,439 I don't mean to bother you. 236 00:08:45,473 --> 00:08:46,707 It's just confusing. 237 00:08:46,741 --> 00:08:49,243 The footprints in my room only have four toes. 238 00:08:49,277 --> 00:08:51,478 You know, I bet I know wt happened. 239 00:08:51,513 --> 00:08:54,682 I'll bet he lost those toes in a fight. 240 00:08:54,716 --> 00:08:57,151 And that guy looked like he'd been in a brawl or two. 241 00:08:57,185 --> 00:08:58,619 One toe from each foot? 242 00:08:58,653 --> 00:08:59,653 Maybe. 243 00:08:59,688 --> 00:09:01,055 Y-you know, manny, 244 00:09:01,089 --> 00:09:03,290 I think the only thing that's gonna get you 245 00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,092 To stop asking all these questions 246 00:09:05,126 --> 00:09:07,628 Is for you to have a little closure. What do you mean? 247 00:09:07,662 --> 00:09:10,164 Well, I'd like to throw a little memorial for shel. 248 00:09:10,198 --> 00:09:11,765 It'll be good for all of us. 249 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,634 That way, we get our grief out, 250 00:09:13,668 --> 00:09:16,971 And then we never have to talk about this ever... 251 00:09:17,005 --> 00:09:19,340 Ever again. 252 00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:24,345 hi! 253 00:09:24,379 --> 00:09:25,913 Oh, careful, there's a thing. Ooh. That's a... 254 00:09:25,947 --> 00:09:27,581 good to see you. 255 00:09:27,616 --> 00:09:28,682 Hi! 256 00:09:28,717 --> 00:09:31,685 Hi! Oh, my gosh! Hi, I'm claire. 257 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,654 You must be d-- o-kay. 258 00:09:33,688 --> 00:09:34,822 Whoa. Okay. Denise. 259 00:09:34,856 --> 00:09:36,457 Oh, and you're even prettier 260 00:09:36,491 --> 00:09:38,826 Than the pictures that phil's always posting. 261 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:40,094 Just a couple. 262 00:09:40,128 --> 00:09:43,197 Shut up. Every week. He loves showing you off. 263 00:09:43,231 --> 00:09:44,832 My boyfriend likes your acapulco pictures 264 00:09:44,866 --> 00:09:46,000 Probably a little too much. 265 00:09:47,302 --> 00:09:49,336 Well, thank your boyfriend for me. Sure. 266 00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:50,504 Come on in. Plea. 267 00:09:50,538 --> 00:09:51,905 Oh, I brought you, um, 268 00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:54,908 Some lifting intensifier. 269 00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:55,909 Not that you need it. 270 00:09:55,944 --> 00:09:57,344 It's a limited edition, so... 271 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:58,746 Thank you. Thank you. 272 00:09:58,780 --> 00:10:00,914 Oh, denise, I think you might know these people. 273 00:10:00,949 --> 00:10:02,383 That's haley... Hi. 274 00:10:02,417 --> 00:10:03,584 ...Alex, and -- 275 00:10:03,618 --> 00:10:05,152 Luke! Ohh! 276 00:10:05,186 --> 00:10:08,289 I had curly hair just like that when I was little. 277 00:10:09,491 --> 00:10:11,625 So? That doesn't mean anything! 278 00:10:14,496 --> 00:10:18,032 Why don't we, uh, come on in, have a seat? Please. 279 00:10:18,066 --> 00:10:20,067 So, what was my dad like in high school? 280 00:10:20,101 --> 00:10:22,536 Only the most amazing breakdancer ever. 281 00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:24,204 Uh-oh. Don't fire it up. 282 00:10:24,239 --> 00:10:25,873 What? What? Uh-oh. 283 00:10:25,907 --> 00:10:27,541 Oh, no. Yeah. 284 00:10:27,575 --> 00:10:29,877 He had a boombox and a piece of cardboard in his locker. 285 00:10:29,911 --> 00:10:32,046 And what was your dance name? O-zone. Yeah. 286 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,747 I drove him to a "star search" audition. 287 00:10:33,782 --> 00:10:35,516 Which is totally political, by the way. 288 00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:38,252 O-zone. That is dead-ass funny. 289 00:10:38,286 --> 00:10:39,720 I'm so calling you that. 290 00:10:39,754 --> 00:10:40,721 Thank you. 291 00:10:40,789 --> 00:10:42,823 Wow. You really lucked out. 292 00:10:42,857 --> 00:10:44,725 You have a beautiful wife... Ohh. 293 00:10:44,759 --> 00:10:46,560 ...A gorgeous house, and those kids. 294 00:10:46,594 --> 00:10:48,262 I could take luke home with me. 295 00:10:48,296 --> 00:10:50,331 Well, be my guest. 296 00:10:50,365 --> 00:10:51,665 Seriously. You go right ahead. 297 00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:53,734 No! 298 00:10:53,768 --> 00:10:55,636 I like it here! 299 00:10:55,670 --> 00:10:57,705 Unh! 300 00:10:57,739 --> 00:10:59,173 Alex, honey, will you go find out 301 00:10:59,207 --> 00:11:00,574 What's wrong with your brother? 302 00:11:00,608 --> 00:11:02,676 Okay. 303 00:11:02,711 --> 00:11:04,345 You know, um, it's okay, 304 00:11:04,379 --> 00:11:06,013 I think I'm just gonna use the, um... 305 00:11:06,047 --> 00:11:07,281 Oh, yeah, of course. 306 00:11:07,315 --> 00:11:09,717 Down the hall, left-hand side. You can't miss it. 307 00:11:09,751 --> 00:11:11,985 Thanks. 308 00:11:13,722 --> 00:11:15,522 Okay, she's fantastic. Yes? 309 00:11:15,557 --> 00:11:16,690 Yes. I feel awful. 310 00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,628 Who assumes the worst about people? 311 00:11:21,663 --> 00:11:24,231 I first noticed it seven years - you're not. 312 00:11:24,265 --> 00:11:26,834 I'm such an idiot. Is it... 313 00:11:26,868 --> 00:11:28,235 Oh, I'll show you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 314 00:11:28,269 --> 00:11:31,472 Okay. Thanks. 315 00:11:33,274 --> 00:11:35,075 so, how are we gonna do this? 316 00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:37,311 I-I thought I'd just point at the door, 317 00:11:37,345 --> 00:11:39,947 So I was thinking, like -- I was thinking, too. 318 00:11:39,981 --> 00:11:41,515 Here... 319 00:11:41,549 --> 00:11:43,751 Is my hotel-room key. 320 00:11:43,785 --> 00:11:47,020 You can come by whenever you want. 321 00:11:56,027 --> 00:11:58,228 When I -- when I pulled up next to you at that stoplight? 322 00:11:58,263 --> 00:11:59,363 Funny? Yeah. 323 00:11:59,397 --> 00:12:01,632 Because I was on the phone with my partner, 324 00:12:01,666 --> 00:12:03,968 Talking about how horrible his boss was -- his. 325 00:12:04,002 --> 00:12:05,769 And then, uh, you pull up, so... 326 00:12:05,804 --> 00:12:07,171 Anyway, I'm glad I ran into you. 327 00:12:07,205 --> 00:12:09,373 I'm getting worried they're gonna move up our court date. 328 00:12:09,407 --> 00:12:11,742 I-I need you to bust ass preparing. 329 00:12:11,776 --> 00:12:13,477 Because if they call us on Monday -- 330 00:12:13,511 --> 00:12:15,246 uh, you need to get that? 331 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,815 No, no, it's -- it's fine. I just, uh... 332 00:12:17,849 --> 00:12:19,950 Picture of my daughter standing for the first time. 333 00:12:19,985 --> 00:12:21,518 Yeah, they do that. It's a big day. 334 00:12:21,553 --> 00:12:23,387 Anyway, I need you here tomorrow. 335 00:12:23,421 --> 00:12:25,222 Now, I know it's a Sunday, but, uh, 336 00:12:25,257 --> 00:12:27,124 You think you can be on time, okay? 337 00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,294 Actually, um... 338 00:12:30,328 --> 00:12:31,895 I-I have plans tomorrow. 339 00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:33,998 Uh, so I won't be here. 340 00:12:34,032 --> 00:12:37,167 I-I have plans to stay at home with my family 341 00:12:37,202 --> 00:12:40,037 And do absolutely nothing, okay. 342 00:12:40,071 --> 00:12:42,106 But I will see you on Monday. Mm-hmm. 343 00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:44,441 So -- so you're in charge now, is that it? 344 00:12:44,476 --> 00:12:46,243 Well, I-I just figure if my daughter can stand up, 345 00:12:46,278 --> 00:12:47,411 Then so can I. 346 00:12:47,445 --> 00:12:49,880 All right, look... 347 00:12:49,914 --> 00:12:51,749 We've all been working hard lately, okay? 348 00:12:51,783 --> 00:12:52,983 But that's the job. 349 00:12:53,018 --> 00:12:54,451 So either come in tomorrow, 350 00:12:54,486 --> 00:12:55,819 Or don't bother coming back again. 351 00:12:58,623 --> 00:13:00,090 Okay. 352 00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:06,897 Hmm. 353 00:13:11,169 --> 00:13:13,504 Need the, uh, I.D. To... Uh-huh. 354 00:13:13,538 --> 00:13:15,706 ...Make the elevator go down to freedom! 355 00:13:16,908 --> 00:13:20,244 And this, to complete my set. 356 00:13:23,448 --> 00:13:27,318 "turtle. Reptile. Pet. 357 00:13:27,352 --> 00:13:31,188 Shel turtlestein was many things." 358 00:13:31,222 --> 00:13:33,324 I don't think I can do this without crying. 359 00:13:33,358 --> 00:13:35,359 Maybe we should just get to the cold cuts. 360 00:13:35,393 --> 00:13:38,762 But we want to hear it. Jay, why don't you read it? 361 00:13:38,797 --> 00:13:41,298 You were with him at the end. 362 00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:42,933 Remember? 363 00:13:49,641 --> 00:13:51,542 "shel turtlestein was many things, 364 00:13:51,576 --> 00:13:53,210 "but above all, he was my friend. 365 00:13:53,244 --> 00:13:55,346 "when I didn't get a date with fiona gunderson, 366 00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:56,814 "shel was there. 367 00:13:56,848 --> 00:13:58,749 "when I didn't get to play the part of tevye, 368 00:13:58,783 --> 00:14:00,451 "shel was there. 369 00:14:00,485 --> 00:14:02,453 "and when a raccoon broke into my room, 370 00:14:02,487 --> 00:14:05,155 "unfortunately, shel was there. 371 00:14:05,190 --> 00:14:06,623 "I said a lot of things to my friend, 372 00:14:06,658 --> 00:14:09,226 "but the one thing I never got to say was... 373 00:14:09,294 --> 00:14:10,327 Goodbye." 374 00:14:10,362 --> 00:14:11,829 Stop! 375 00:14:11,863 --> 00:14:13,897 I know what really happened. You do? 376 00:14:13,932 --> 00:14:15,532 I left a bag of chips near my bed. 377 00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:17,134 The raccoon must have smelled it. 378 00:14:17,168 --> 00:14:19,370 It's my fault he's dead. 379 00:14:19,404 --> 00:14:22,172 sorry, shel. 380 00:14:22,207 --> 00:14:25,609 Jay, you don't have anything to say to manny? 381 00:14:25,643 --> 00:14:28,779 yeah. 382 00:14:29,948 --> 00:14:32,349 Manny... 383 00:14:36,988 --> 00:14:38,322 Shel forgives you. 384 00:14:38,356 --> 00:14:40,924 Thank you. 385 00:14:42,293 --> 00:14:44,595 Oh, denise. Ha! 386 00:14:44,629 --> 00:14:47,364 These pictures are amazing. Thank you. 387 00:14:47,399 --> 00:14:50,000 Wow. Sweetie, that perm. 388 00:14:50,034 --> 00:14:52,236 Technically, it's a jheri curl. Ohh. 389 00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:53,771 I just love to takpictures. 390 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,439 I took this one of myself today. 391 00:15:00,845 --> 00:15:03,080 No. No. That's the worst idea. 392 00:15:03,114 --> 00:15:04,314 No. No. 393 00:15:04,349 --> 00:15:05,983 Oh! 394 00:15:06,017 --> 00:15:08,018 What am I, raised by a pack of wolves? 395 00:15:08,052 --> 00:15:09,787 Hey, come on, now. 396 00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:12,222 Honey... 397 00:15:12,257 --> 00:15:14,124 You weren't completely wrong about denise. 398 00:15:14,159 --> 00:15:15,726 How's that? She wants me. 399 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,796 To do what? It. Her. 400 00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,798 Oh. Oh, this is because of the thing I said 401 00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:22,833 About facebook and that erybody's hooking up, 402 00:15:22,867 --> 00:15:24,268 And now you're disappointed. 403 00:15:24,302 --> 00:15:26,503 No. She bit the air right in front of me! 404 00:15:26,538 --> 00:15:27,805 Like that. What? 405 00:15:27,872 --> 00:15:29,573 And then look what she tried to give me. 406 00:15:29,607 --> 00:15:30,941 Anything I can help with? 407 00:15:30,975 --> 00:15:33,143 No, I just - I can't find my corkscrew. 408 00:15:33,178 --> 00:15:35,612 Ohh. 409 00:15:35,647 --> 00:15:36,847 Touch me. O-kay. 410 00:15:36,881 --> 00:15:38,415 Denise, I think, somewhere along the line, 411 00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:39,516 You got the wrong idea. 412 00:15:39,551 --> 00:15:41,452 My head is full of wrong ideas. 413 00:15:41,486 --> 00:15:44,154 You have such great taste, claire. 414 00:15:44,189 --> 00:15:45,355 Thank you. 415 00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:48,225 I remember phil used to have really good taste, too. 416 00:15:48,259 --> 00:15:49,993 Get a little bit of this. Oh, here it is. 417 00:15:50,028 --> 00:15:52,496 Phil, would you mind grabbing us a couple glasses? You betcha. 418 00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:54,665 Need me to grab anything? Nope! 419 00:15:54,699 --> 00:15:56,300 Okay, this is so wrong. 420 00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:58,602 I know. It's way more exciting when she's in the room. 421 00:15:58,636 --> 00:15:59,503 No! 422 00:15:59,537 --> 00:16:01,271 I still have my cheerleader outfit. 423 00:16:01,306 --> 00:16:03,540 So do I, but this still can't happen. 424 00:16:03,575 --> 00:16:05,142 When did that break? 425 00:16:05,176 --> 00:16:07,177 Why are you wussing out?! 426 00:16:07,212 --> 00:16:08,378 I never wussed in! 427 00:16:08,413 --> 00:16:10,481 What about all those things you wrote on facebook? 428 00:16:10,515 --> 00:16:12,783 "how was your day? My neck is so sore." 429 00:16:12,817 --> 00:16:14,451 Why do people keep adding voices to these things? 430 00:16:14,486 --> 00:16:15,686 I didn't mean anything. 431 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,688 are you telling me that I wasted a year 432 00:16:17,722 --> 00:16:18,956 Of my life on this relationship? 433 00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:19,957 What relationship? 434 00:16:19,991 --> 00:16:21,692 How many other women have you led on? 435 00:16:21,726 --> 00:16:23,026 Now I don't know! 436 00:16:23,061 --> 00:16:24,294 Phil? 437 00:16:27,065 --> 00:16:29,500 Phil, honey? 438 00:16:29,534 --> 00:16:31,335 Do you remember when you broke your arm 439 00:16:31,369 --> 00:16:32,503 When we were first dating? 440 00:16:32,537 --> 00:16:35,405 Yeah, uh, when I slipped on the ice. 441 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,707 Right. That's so weird. 442 00:16:36,741 --> 00:16:38,909 Because in this picture, you're sitting with denise, 443 00:16:38,943 --> 00:16:40,544 And you have a broken arm, so... 444 00:16:40,578 --> 00:16:42,579 Yeah. That's -- that's weird. 445 00:16:42,614 --> 00:16:44,848 So you were still dating her when you started dating me? 446 00:16:44,883 --> 00:16:46,149 No. Phil? 447 00:16:46,184 --> 00:16:48,018 Yeah. Maybe. Just, there was a time -- 448 00:16:48,052 --> 00:16:49,419 A little overlap when, uh, 449 00:16:49,454 --> 00:16:51,555 I was trying to break things off with denise. 450 00:16:51,589 --> 00:16:53,390 Uh-huh. You took me to santa fe! 451 00:16:53,424 --> 00:16:54,691 Santa fe. 452 00:16:54,726 --> 00:16:56,560 Phil, you told me that was your father. 453 00:16:56,594 --> 00:16:59,696 Okay, I know the pain is fresh, but the lie is really old. 454 00:16:59,731 --> 00:17:03,534 You know, this was a mistake. I'm gonna leave. 455 00:17:03,568 --> 00:17:06,169 Claire, if I were you, I would kick him out. 456 00:17:06,204 --> 00:17:07,337 Maybe he'd appreciate you more 457 00:17:07,372 --> 00:17:09,406 After he spent a lonely night in a hotel. 458 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,674 At the radisson. 459 00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,042 By the airport. 460 00:17:14,579 --> 00:17:16,947 You quit?! Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It was amazing. 461 00:17:16,981 --> 00:17:18,615 No, no, this is the new me, cam. 462 00:17:18,650 --> 00:17:21,285 I am not letting people run my life anymore. 463 00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:22,786 I should be nervous, but I'm -- I'm not. 464 00:17:22,820 --> 00:17:23,787 I'm excited for you. Yes! 465 00:17:23,821 --> 00:17:26,156 It's exciting. It's exciting. 466 00:17:26,190 --> 00:17:29,192 Because you followed your heart, and that is worth celebrating. 467 00:17:29,227 --> 00:17:30,994 Cam, I just feel -- ha-ha! -- 468 00:17:31,029 --> 00:17:34,197 So liberated. 469 00:17:34,232 --> 00:17:35,365 Hey! 470 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,967 And I'm not picking it up. 471 00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:38,201 Ooh! I like this guy! 472 00:17:38,236 --> 00:17:39,870 I do, too. I mean, y-yes, we'll have to -- 473 00:17:39,904 --> 00:17:41,371 We'll have to cut back a little bit. 474 00:17:41,406 --> 00:17:42,739 But isn't it worth it if you feel 475 00:17:42,774 --> 00:17:44,641 Like you're living your life for the first time? 476 00:17:44,676 --> 00:17:46,510 Totally. Oh. What were we even waiting for? 477 00:17:46,544 --> 00:17:47,945 You will go back to teaching music, 478 00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:51,081 And then I'll -- I'll just fin. 479 00:17:51,115 --> 00:17:52,516 And until then, all we need to do 480 00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:53,817 Is just sit back 481 00:17:53,851 --> 00:17:56,653 And watch this little miracle here dazzle us. 482 00:17:56,688 --> 00:17:57,721 I'm tingling. 483 00:17:57,755 --> 00:17:59,323 I am, too. 484 00:17:59,357 --> 00:18:02,025 It's like my heart is full for the first time in forever. 485 00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:04,328 Oh, god, it's really pounding. 486 00:18:04,362 --> 00:18:06,396 It's like I feel the weight of endless possibilities 487 00:18:06,431 --> 00:18:08,231 Just sitting on my chest. 488 00:18:08,266 --> 00:18:09,800 She is not doing anything, cam. 489 00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,635 You're not panicking, are you? Of course I am panicking! 490 00:18:11,669 --> 00:18:12,903 No! Don't panic. If you panic, I panic! 491 00:18:12,937 --> 00:18:15,472 I just quit my job! Cam! 492 00:18:15,506 --> 00:18:16,807 Oh, my god, mitchell, I am used to nice things! 493 00:18:16,841 --> 00:18:18,141 What are we gonna do?! 494 00:18:18,176 --> 00:18:19,710 Okay, no, no, just calm -- calm down. 495 00:18:19,744 --> 00:18:21,578 This is what we're gonna do. I am going to -- 496 00:18:21,613 --> 00:18:23,146 I'm gonna do what I'm trained to do. 497 00:18:23,181 --> 00:18:24,815 I am going to lie, grovel, debase myself 498 00:18:24,849 --> 00:18:26,083 Until I get what I want. 499 00:18:26,117 --> 00:18:27,384 I am a lawyer, damn it. 500 00:18:27,418 --> 00:18:29,653 Mitchell! 501 00:18:29,687 --> 00:18:30,887 No. 502 00:18:30,922 --> 00:18:32,255 Oh, no, you're right -- the tie. 503 00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:34,725 No, we'll -- we'll find something better for you, 504 00:18:34,759 --> 00:18:36,660 Something that works for all of us. 505 00:18:36,694 --> 00:18:38,895 There's no plan "b" here, cam. 506 00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:40,163 We have a mortgage. We have -- 507 00:18:40,198 --> 00:18:43,100 We have a - a child to support. I -- 508 00:18:43,134 --> 00:18:45,235 Hey. It's gonna be okay. 509 00:18:45,269 --> 00:18:47,371 We're gonna figure it out. 510 00:18:47,405 --> 00:18:49,973 I just want you to be happy, and you will be happy. 511 00:18:51,009 --> 00:18:53,977 And that is something worth toasting. 512 00:18:55,413 --> 00:18:56,813 Let's just drink the cheap stuff 513 00:18:56,848 --> 00:18:58,649 'cause we might have to sell that bottle. 514 00:19:02,754 --> 00:19:06,189 It's hard to sleep in a bed of lies, isn't it, jay? 515 00:19:06,224 --> 00:19:08,258 Kids get over these things pretty quick. 516 00:19:08,292 --> 00:19:10,527 He's probably sleeping like a baby right now. 517 00:19:10,561 --> 00:19:12,329 I'm sure he's wide awake... 518 00:19:12,363 --> 00:19:13,864 Full of guilt. 519 00:19:13,898 --> 00:19:16,600 Well, I'm going to sleep. 520 00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:27,077 Damn it! 521 00:19:31,616 --> 00:19:33,383 Hello, jay. 522 00:19:34,485 --> 00:19:35,619 What are you doing up? 523 00:19:35,653 --> 00:19:37,587 Waiting. Waiting for what? 524 00:19:37,622 --> 00:19:38,755 The truth. 525 00:19:38,790 --> 00:19:40,490 It wasn't a raccoon, was it? 526 00:19:40,525 --> 00:19:43,460 Oh, all right, you got me. I killed shel. 527 00:19:43,494 --> 00:19:46,029 All right? I'm sorry. It was an accident. 528 00:19:46,064 --> 00:19:47,297 Why didn't you just tell me? 529 00:19:47,331 --> 00:19:49,866 Cause I didn't want you to be upset with me. 530 00:19:49,901 --> 00:19:52,436 You and I got off to a rocky start. 531 00:19:52,470 --> 00:19:54,137 But lately it's been pretty good. 532 00:19:54,138 --> 00:19:55,739 I was afraid I'd mess all that up 533 00:19:55,773 --> 00:19:58,141 If you knew that I was the one that killed your pet. 534 00:19:58,176 --> 00:19:59,476 Now you're the guy who killed my pet 535 00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:00,677 And made a stupid lie about it. 536 00:20:00,712 --> 00:20:01,945 Well, I don't think it was stupid. 537 00:20:01,979 --> 00:20:03,180 I thought it was pretty clever. 538 00:20:04,348 --> 00:20:07,517 Look, I s just trying to avoid past miakes. 539 00:20:07,552 --> 00:20:08,952 Look... 540 00:20:08,986 --> 00:20:12,422 I know I can't make things all better right now, 541 00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:15,525 Maybe. 542 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,261 Get some rest. 543 00:20:18,296 --> 00:20:20,630 Since we're confessing things... 544 00:20:20,665 --> 00:20:22,766 You know that scratch on your car? 545 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,634 The one that can't be buffed out? Yeah. 546 00:20:24,669 --> 00:20:26,403 You should probably know how it happened. 547 00:20:26,437 --> 00:20:27,637 I know how it happened. 548 00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:30,807 Raccoon did it. 549 00:20:32,443 --> 00:20:33,811 Good night, jay. Good night, kid. 550 00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:40,252 Best thing I ever did was quit a miserable job and start my own business. thanks, dad. 551 00:20:40,287 --> 00:20:41,654 Now, it's not gonna be easy, 552 00:20:41,688 --> 00:20:43,355 But that's why gloria and I want to give you a little something 553 00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:45,024 To help you through it. 554 00:20:45,308 --> 00:20:46,742 No, dad, I can't. 555 00:20:46,776 --> 00:20:48,610 No, I want to, mitch. 556 00:20:48,645 --> 00:20:50,646 Okay, but, I mean, a-as soon as I'm back on my feet, 557 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:51,914 I-I really want to -- 558 00:20:51,948 --> 00:20:55,317 Oh. Oh. Dad. No, you -- 559 00:20:55,351 --> 00:20:57,219 You tried to give me this 20 years ago 560 00:20:57,253 --> 00:20:58,287 When my pet snake died. 561 00:20:58,321 --> 00:21:00,189 I did? Yes. 562 00:21:00,223 --> 00:21:01,390 Zsa-zsa ga-boa. 563 00:21:01,424 --> 00:21:02,925 Oh, that's adorable. 564 00:21:02,959 --> 00:21:05,527 And you really didn't know that he was gay? 565 00:21:05,562 --> 00:21:08,564 I must have, right? 566 00:21:08,565 --> 00:21:11,565 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 40517

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.