All language subtitles for Boston Legal 1x01-Head Cases

Tara.

Hi, I'm Brad chase from D.C.

Alan shore.

Pleasure.

I think that's my seat.

Yes, I did see someone's things here.

I moved them to a less desirable location.

I'm sorry. We're not territorial about
that sort of thing around here,
are we?

Denny crane.

Yes, Denny, I know.
I run the New York office.

Oh! / Peter stone.

- Denny crane.
- I know. I'm Chicago.

My kind of town. Always had
the best sex of my life in Chicago.

What about you?

Well, um...

Greetings, Tokyo, London.

Good morning.

Morning, Denny.

Brad chase, there you are, soldier.

Oh. Everybody remembers
Brad chase, I'm sure, hell, if I do.

It's good to see you, man.
All right, everybody.

Lock and load.

Item one,

forget item one.

Actually, Denny, item one is a rather
urgent matter that we must discuss.

Why don't you brief us?

Gladly. If we...

Item two, Beckerman discovery?
What the hell is that?

Uh, well, opposing counsel was
granted their motion to compel,

which means we are now required

to turn over all correspondence
and scientific studies.

What about the ones we burned
before the judge's order?

We didn't burn any documents.

Well, sure we did.

Do it today.

All right, Nigel, keep going.
We're listening.

Uh, if we don't...

Item three.

Damn it, Denny, this is not a way
to conduct a staff meeting.

- Where the hell is Edwin?
- Sorry I'm late, good people.

Is it casual Monday?

Edwin...

everything all right?

Hunky dory.

Unbelievable.

Not really.

Always figured him for a loon.

Tara! Where's Tara?

I need Tara!

I'm right here, Edwin.

Oh, thank you.

You have to contact Bill.

I, I will, Edwin. I promise.

Apologize for my delay.
Then call my wife.

Tell her I've had a smallbreakdown,
not to worry. / Of course.

Oh, my goodness.
I have the brant appeal.

- I have the brant appeal.
- Relax, Edwin, we'll handle it.

Denny, guess what, I'm due
in court with Tara.

We're on it. Don't you worry.

You just get better.

Okay.

Demagnetize his parking pass.

- I beg your pardon?
- I know when a man is gone.

Do you think you can handle
this case without a copilot?

Well, I'm not...

Who's the judge?

- Resnick.
- He's a schmuck.

Alan, back Tara up.
She's before schmuck Resnick.

See if you can get a damn continuance.

Brad, you got a few minutes?

Actually, no.
I've got an early shuttle.

Get a later one.
I need some face time.

What's up?

Edwin poole was the only one here
able to rein in Denny crane without him.

If you are about to go
where I think you're going...

We need you back in Boston
more than in D.C., Brad.

Lori, Ernidell just came in.
He's upset about something.

I sent him to your office. / My office?

Yeah, the alternative would
be Denny's office,

and nobody here wants that.

Excuse me. I need a lawyer.

This is my daughter.

She tried out for the national
tour of Annie,

and she was the best one,

and she was passed over
because she was black.

It's discrimination,

it's bigotry, it's prejudice,

and we want justice.

Boston Legal
Head Cases

ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON ABC: 2004/10/03

Please tell me that you've never
seen anything like that before.

Baring your ass to 24 attorneys
including two overseas,

that is an unprecedented triumph.

I'm just distraught
I didn't think of it myself.

You know what I like about you?

No, I do not.

Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt.

Brad chase.

Look, I've been asked to stay,
which I'm considering,

but I'm concerned that you and I
may have gotten off on the wrong foot.

I like to be straight up with people,
and if there's an issue or conflict,

let's address it head-on,
if you don't mind.

I have trouble talking that fast.

I don't believe in being straight up,

but I'm a big fan of your
aqua velva commercials.

There's a potential client
in the conference room.

I'd like for you to meet with her.

Oh, forgot to mention,

I outrank you.

Do you?

And I'm such a slut for authority.

All right, you think the two little boys
could get off the playground now?

- Kiss today.
- I don't want to sing.

You need to practice.
You want to make Juilliard?

Kiss today.

Kiss today goodbye.

Oh, my.

Never mind "oh, my."

She sings like a sparrow.

Here, look.

I've got these producer notes,

which I was able to get ahold of
because of my own personal ingenuity,

says she has the most talent.

You can read it for yourself.

I'm afraid there's been
a terrible mistake.

I don't do musical comedy.

Annie's a drama.

It's full of suspense

on whether the little girl
gets to live with the rich guy.

It's dramatic.

Can I help you? / Yes, I need to
speak to Edwin poole immediately.

I'm afraid Mr. Poole has stepped
out. / You don't understand.

This is an urgent matter.

Where the hell is Edwin poole?

Hi. Is there anything
I can do to help?

Yes. My ex-husband is trying
to take my children from me,

and Edwin poole, he missed
my hearing today,

and I've been calling
his cell phone, and...

I mean, what the hell is
going on around here?

Excuse me.
I'm Brad chase.

We're gonna take care of this for you.

Now, why don't you just take
a seat in the conference room?

I'll get you a glass of water.

All right.

Thank you.

Hey. / Yeah.

- I was handling it.
- I just thought I'd help out.

That's very nice, but again,
I was handling it.

So why does it bother you
that I'm trying to help?

Well, maybe because you feel
I can't deal with a client on my own.

I don't feel that way at all.

Well, then I guess I really have
no idea what you feel.

I guess not. / And that's
supposed to be my fault?

Wait a minute.

You two have had sex.

I'm sorry.

We're not territorial about that
sort of thing around here, are we?

You're not gonna tell me.

I would prefer to tell Denny.

Where the hell is he? / Ernie,

you and I have done
business for a long time,

and we've always been able
to talk to each other.

If I'm to help you here...

My wife is cheating on me.

And she informed me that she has been
cheating on me for entire marriage.

It's been a fraud from day one.

Okay. First, you've only
been married since August.

Second, you've had five other
marriages dissolve, each...

But this, this was the real thing.

What's the goal, to get her back?

I, I'd like to put a private
investigator on her, get some proof.

If she's admitted...

Goal being to get some compromising
pictures to use as leverage.

In hopes of...

Negotiating an annulment.

I know it sounds crazy,

and I know I'm one of those
obnoxious stage mothers. I get that.

But Sarah worked hard.

I've tried to teach her what you earn,

people can't take that away from you.

She's earned this, Mr. Shore.

I have no doubt,

but you realize producers
do have discretion on that,

and the art of casting strikes me
as a very inexact science.

If they knew they were gonna go white,
why'd they let her try out at all?

Why'd they let her get her hopes up?

I'll tell you why.

so they can pass themselves off
as equal-opportunity employers,

so they can claim to be about diversity.

They want it both ways, Mr. Shore,
and my daughter got hurt.

That was our deal.

I would work two jobs,
put him through business school,

then he would put me
through medical school.

A week after he graduated,
he got a job running a mutual fund,

and a week after that, he left me.

Our kids were 4 then.

Twins.

Simon and Harry.

They're 8 now.

Oh, they're beautiful.

Thanks.

In their peewee league uniforms.

You know, he's never seen
one of their games.

He pay your way through med school?

Take a wild guess.

I don't care, though.
I've graduated now,

I've got a residency waiting
for me in New York city,

but Matthew won't let me
take the boys out of state.

Says he wants them close by,
these boys he sees once a month.

It's nothing but spite.

Now, look, we're gonna reschedule a hearing.

I'm sure everything is
going to work out fine.

You just have to be patient.

If I'm not at columbia presbyterian
8:00 A.M. Monday morning,

they will give my spot away.

That can't happen. I have worked too
hard to build a life for these boys.

We can't tail the wife.

It's what he wants, Denny.

Can't do it. Not ethical.

She's a client, too.

What I would suggest

is we send a letter
of withdrawal to end-run the conflict,

get an opinion letter of outside
counsel.../ I don't want to tail the wife.

Denny, I don't need to tell you
that Ernie dell is one of
our biggest clients.

If he wants a private investigator,
what's the real harm?

The harm would be to me.

I'm sorry?

I'm the one sleeping with his wife.

Denny is having an affair with the woman.

I've got a senior partner
saying don't tail her,

I've got a client wanting snapshots.

What do I do, Paul?

Convince Ernie that the private
investigator idea is a bad one.

Oh, sure.

You have enormous persuasive skills, Lori.

You're handling me.

I am.

And I need you to handle Ernie.
I will handle Denny.

Tara?

Hi.

Don't be offended by this.

I know you're a great lawyer
with exceptional legal skills.

And?

I need you to flirt with Ernie dell.

Excuse me? / The man is
a profound skirt chaser.

What's wrong with your skirt?

Okay, look, men sometimes
find me attractive.

From time to time, they'll even hit on me.

It's all deeply rewarding, but you...

What me?

You're hot.

Yeah. Kind of... nasty hot.

Men would leave their wives for you,

and I need to make Ernie
forget about his wife, so...

- If you think that I...
- Don't make me pull rank.

You can file your sexual
harrassment claim tomorrow,

but today, now, you need
to meet with Ernie.

It seems the client can't pay,

so the firm will have to eat the cost
of prosecuting this matter.

I'm sure the partners won't object

when they hear that it was
a case you assigned to me.

I'll tell you what.

I'll pay the cost of prosecuting the case.

Of course, if you were a betting man...

You win, I pay,
you lose, you pay.

Bit of a gamble, I realize.

I'll pay double.

You got another hearing?

That's the good news.
The not-so-good news is
we probably won't win it.

But it at least gives us leverage
to get your ex-husband in a room.

Wait, wait.

What are you talking about?

We want to take a shot at a settlement.

Now, if your ex cares anything
about these kids... / He doesn't.

This is all about getting me.
Have I not been clear about that?

He doesn't even know the kids.

I've dealt with bad ex-husbands before.

Mr. Chase, no offense, but
you have never dealt with this one.

Trust me.

This is little orphan Annie,
for god's sake.

If she doesn't look the part.

I didn't realize we did racial profiling
for ourcomic strip characters.

These are private investors.
There is no state action involved.

How would the story change
if Annie were black?

Your honor, are you serious?

Counsel, we are talking
about adoption here.

Daddy warbucks isn't the biological father.

Exactly how would the story change?

Little orphan Annie is
an iconic character based...

I want to see her.

- Excuse me?
- The girl who got the role.

I want to compare.

Your honor, is that really
fair to the other little girl?

Counsel, if she can sing
eight times a week

in front of 3,000-plus people a night,
she can sing in front of me.

Get her in here.

I want the private investigator.

The thing is, Ernie, the photographs
will have no legal relevance.

They can't facilitate an annulment.

I am the customer here, Lori.

The customer isn't always right.

May I...

make an observation?

I really don't know you, Mr. Dell,

but I suspect there's a reason

why all these younger women
want to marry you.

It's called money.

You're wrong.

It's called power,

and you derive a lot of that power
not just from being handsome and...

sexy,

but from being dignified.

Hiring a private investigator
is beneath you.

There are many young,
beautiful women out there

who would love to jump into your...

Wife's place.

I know this sounds crazy, but...

you might want to look at this
as an opportunity.

Paul.

You and I go back a long way, Denny.

Completely mindful of the fact
that you helped build this place,

the partners here will not allow you
to dismantle it with your buffoonery.

What did you say to me?

I don't think you want
to hear me say it again.

To have an affair with the wife
of one of our biggest clients,

it disrespects both Ernie dell
and this firm.

- We have other clients.
- Not like Ernie.

But your point is well taken.

Everybody is fungible.

Lori colson won't tail my wife.

I want you to do it. / Ernie.

I'm not talking to you.

Get it done, Denny.

Denny, I'm having a bit of
an identity crisis.

I've always prided myself on being,

well... nuts.

But in this firm, I find myself falling
into the sane category.

You think I'm nuts, do you?

Are you scared?

Scared?

What would I be scared of?

Edwin poole is a friend.

You've seen him just go off the high dive.

Edwin poole's problem is he
doesn't like being Edwin poole.

From time to time, he'd...

look in the mirror and ask,

"what's the point?"
I never do that.

Questions like that'll kill you.

Questions like "what's the point?"

Look, take you for example.

Tomorrow you're gonna go into court

and argue that some little fat black kid

should be able to play
a little skinny white one.

What's the point?

You don't ask.
That's the point.

You're gonna win, by the way?

The world wants to know.

I'm afraid not.

There's no state action.

We've asked for specific performance
with no clear evidence of discrimination.

I don't like losing, especially
when there's a wager involved.

Well, don't, soldier.

Pull the rabbit out of your hat.

That's the secret of both
trial law and life.

Rabbits.

Yeah.

Excuse me.

I'm looking for...

you, actually. All my life.

Matthew.

Tara.

Alan.

I had a girl who looked like
you once, married her.

Now she looks like you.

Where the hell is my lawyer?

If you took summer plus winter breaks,

spring break, holiday weekends,

you start to get pretty close
to what you have right now.

Pass.

That's too much custody for super dad.

Is there any acceptable scenario

that would allow for Sharon
to enroll in her program

without leaving the boys behind?

We could each take one.

Excuse me?

You know, like that nazi movie
where the woman has
to pick which kid to keep.

Sophie's choice. / Thank you.

Only this is Sharon's choice.

One goes with her to New York,
I keep the other one.

Done. / That's outrageous.

The boys love each other.

They're best friends.

It's a little weird, don't you think?

Let's see what happens
when we split them up.

Stop doing this!

You have already scarred your
children enough to last a lifetime.

Imagine how that feels to a little boy,

knowing that their father could
care less whether he sees them or not.

And yet if it means denying me
something that I want,

something that I deserve,
something that this family needs,

suddenly you're a, you're
a concerned father.

Damn you!

And what about my needs, huh?

What freakish nightmare did I step into
that turned my wife, who was hot,

who had sex with me,

who liked to go out with me at night
into some earth mother,

world record-setting breast feeder.

And now you wanna leave your kids

with some non-english-speaking
nanny for 100 hours a week

so you can live out your E.R
fantasy life? Be my guest.

But it's not my problem

that you're not good enough to get
hired anywhere in the entire state.

Denny,

you hire that P.I. yet?

I asked you a question.

Truth be told, my relationship with
this firm hangs in the balance.

Uh, Ernie, why don't we
step into my office...

I'm talking to Denny.

All right, Ernie,

truth time, my office.

This is not gonna be
easy for you to hear,

but it needs to be said.

I don't give a damn who slept with
your wife. Neither do you, really.

You don't love her.
This is an ego thing.

She's a trophy girl,
something for your friends to admire.

Maybe you should be flattered.

I'm not... / I'm talking.

Ego, Ernie.

You acquire fast cars and young wives

to try and stay young yourself in the
hope of confusing youth with relevance.

Well, here's a flash for you.

We're all desperate to be relevant.

You're 76 years old.

Wanna feel you still mean something?

Move to Florida, punch a chad,
screw up an election.

Don't go looking for affirmation

between the two artificial jugs
of a woman who married you for...

gee, could it be your outstanding
sense of humor?

Take a swing if you want to,
if it makes you feel better.

The guardian, Ad litem acknowledged
in her report in the last year

Mr. Caldertook custody of the boys
only one weekend a month.

Mr. Calder has been steeped in
a major work crisis at his company.

I don't care if he's been
dismantling a nuclear weapon.

The fact is he hasn't been there,

and there's no doubt that my client is,
in practice, the primary custodian.

Now, this woman is struggling to make
a life for a family he doesn't..

Wait, she can't make it
in the commonwealth?

She'd love to, but the offer of
employment comes from New York.

Now, my client has made every sacrifice.

That's what parents do, Mr. Chase.

You have kids, you make sacrifices.

They got married here,
they had children here.

Mr. Calder, as fathers go,

I consider you a disgrace.

Ms. Brant, there is a reason for this policy.

We don't like angry spouses
yanking kids across state lines.

It's an undue burden on the family unit.

Accordingly, your plan to relocate
with your sons remains enjoined.

What now?

I don't know.

I, uh...

I guess that didn't go too well.

When I'm stuck with a day
that's gray and lonely ��

I just stick out my chin
and grin and say ��

tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, ��

tomorrow, you're always a day away ��

Thank you. That...

��Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, ��

tomorrow, you're always a day away ��

That was great.

Sarah, that was magnificent,

but the other little girl
was quite good, too,

and given the discretion that has to be
allowed to producers in these situations..

Your honor, we have something called
the equal protection clause,

we have something called
the 14th amendment.

I believe it's actually
required reading for judges.

I could be wrong there.

Could I be heard, your honor?

I heard about this matter.

I would like to address
this court on what I consider...

I'm sorry, reverend,
but you have no standing here.

I have standing as an American citizen

speaking upon a civil rights violation.

Reverend Sharpton I will
ask you to step down.

I am standing as Bobby kennedy was standing

on the steps of the courthouse in Alabama.

No one is denying this little
girl an education, sir.

She just can't play Annie.

You may think this is a small matter,
but this is no small matter.

This child is being denied the right
to play an american icon

because she doesn't match the description.

Those descriptions were crafted 50 years ago.

We supposed to be in a different day.

Reverend.../ You talk about
racial equality,

how we're making progress.

The problem with that progress is
it's always a day away.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, you love that
because it's always a day away.

I'm here to stick out
my chin today, today.

Give us an African-american spider-man.

Give us a black that can run
faster than a speeding bullet

and leap over tall buildings
in a single bound.

Not tomorrow, today.

Today. The sun needs to come out today,

not tomorrow, your honor.

God almighty, give the American
people a black orphan Annie.

It's just not good enough
to say she doesn't look the part.

That's what we call a rabbit, son.

Denny crane.

What if we file a TRO in Federal court
on behalf of the kids?

On what grounds?

I don't know. They've been denied
a right to interstate travel.

That's dubious.

But I like your thinking.

Come here for a second.

Look...

I just...

I just need to know.

Sally...

Brad.

Alan.

The deadbeat doesn't even see
his kids, doesn't know them,

and he's using them as weapons
to destroy his ex-wife and them.

And that's why you were so upset?

The case?

It's a little hard, okay?

I, I prefer him in D.C.

Do you think I should start
working out with weights,

maybe do some calisthenics?

- Internally express my...
- So like him?

Well, what context are
you asking this, Alan?

I mean, are you asking this
like a boyfriend, or...

I'm not allowed to ask questions?

Am I? About Tara?

What about Tara?

Nothing.

Anyway, he left, I got very depressed,
drank a lot, hit on too many boys...

until I met this one boy.

Man.

Distinguished.

And then I just...

Okay, how small is the town
of Boston? / What?

The dirtbag is right over there.

Bradley?

The ex-husband.

Really trying to strengthen
that family unit.

What are you doing?

I just need to use your thingy for a second.

Can we get out of here?
I don't, I don't want to look at that pig.

Okay.

We're off.

I told him we're all desperate
to be relevant.

Were you able to dissuade him?

I think so.

Denny, do you think you were talking
about yourself a little?

You're feeling a little desperate
to be relevant lately.

Don't waste your time trying
to get in my head.

There's nothing there.

They're not going to take
the firm from you.

First, Paul lewiston could
never get the votes.

Second, he wouldn't want to.

The man loves you.

I'm not worried, Lori.
Do I look worried?

Yeah, look out there.

My domain.

My city.

I'm Denny crane.

I would be happy to buzz Mr. Calder.

You're very kind, but,
look, I'm already here.

There's a meeting in progress, though,

and I've been instructed
not to disturb him.

Hello, Matthew.

Shame.

I was quite hoping to interrupt
something tawdry.

I'm Alan shore.

Your colleague and I just met,

but we seem to share a proclivity
for exotic women and illicit behavior.

Can I steal you a second?

What's going on?

I'll keep it quick.

These are for you.

Photos. Snapshots, really.

Some delightful little business
between you and a hooker.

Friend of mine, actually.

I earn frequent flyer miles.

She's a lovely woman.

I arranged for her to seek you
out at the bar.

I particularly like
that one, don't you?

Gives your bottom a nice aura.
Here's the deal.

Sharon and the kids get to go to
New York or I start printing copies.

Is that powdered sugar, by the way,

that you're snorting off her
magnificent porcelain breasts?

You are a lawyer in a prestigious
law firm, for god's sake.

I know. Awful.

Hate to extort and run,

but I'm afraid I'll need
an answer on this now.

Tara.

I need to apologize.
I know how degrading that
had to be with Ernie, and...

Not at all.
In fact, I slept with him last night.

Anything for the team.

Yeah, I suppose I deserve that.

This wasn't so much for the team
as it is for Denny.

- There's some stuff going on.
- What stuff?

Denny, I need another moment.

I was thinking how right you are
not to hire a private investigator.

I thank you for your counsel.

After all, it's possible
that I might learn something

that could upset me even further.

I hadn't considered that.

Did you consider that, Denny?

Ernie, I don't have time to consider
all the things I have to consider.

Should we sit? / Oh, please.

See, the thing is,

the fool that I am,

I went out and hired a P.I. on my own,

and guess what I found out, Denny.

I'm not sure, Ernie,

but you need to know that I'm billing
you for all these rhetorical questions.

My own lawyer...

My friend...

with my wife.

Gee, Denny crane is silent.

Talk to me about my quest
for relevance, Denny.

Tell me about my ego.

Come up with one last profound thing
to say before I pull this trigger.

Come on, Denny, talk.

I want to hear what the great
Denny crane has to say now.

First off,

clients come in here all the time
wanting to shoot me.

You know what I tell them?

Go ahead.

The worst thing about growing older, Ernie,

you begin to slip.

One day you wake up and you're less than,

and for me, I'm a legend, Ernie.

I'm folklore in this town.

Lawyers have feared me for years.

For Denny crane to slip,
it would diminish my legacy.

It would be a tragedy.

Denny crane has to go out big,
page one of the Globe.

New York times, even.
Do me a favor, Ernie.

Pull the trigger.

Immortalize the legend.

Pull the trigger.

I don't ever want to be less than.

Don't let me become irrelevant.
Pull it.

Okay.

But before I do,

don't you at least want to apologize?

I do.

I'm sorry, my friend.

I'm truly sorry.

Ernie, uh,

that gun, I bought it
for you, remember?

It's a starter pistol, Ernie.

It's a controversy.
That's what Al sharpton does,

and he does it well.
He doesn't just make noise.

He lights and carries a torch
of racial controversy. / Mr. Shore...

Which you know,
which is why you're here.

We need to put this one out, good people.

Controversy is bad business for musicals.

Your production will open and close
faster than you can say trent lott.

I assume you've come with
a proposal. Let's have it.

Sarah?

When I'm stuck with
a day that ��/ Okay.

We'll offer you the role
of understudy on weekends.

- Plus three matinees a month.
- Done.

Sarah?

He pulled a gun on him.

It only shot blanks, but, yeah.

Drama's over.

How's it feel being back?

It's all right.

Let me ask you a question.

I'd appreciate an honest answer.

Okay.

Do you think I talk too fast?

Sometimes you're a little brisk.

I think it's good business practice,
not to mention good business ethics.

We charge by the hour.
Our clients pay for the time
that we spend talking.

As attorneys, we have an obligation
not to overbill our clients,

so if I talk fast,
it's just because I feel...

ethically bound.

He makes fun of me.

I'm sorry?

Shore.

Thinks I'm a Ken doll.

No, it's not right.
He calls me a Ken doll, while he...

plays with your barbie?

Excuse me.

Hi.

Sharon.

I just, I just came to say thank you,

not that I agree with your tactics,

but what this means to me and,
and my children...

Well, thank you so much.
I will never forget this.

Remember that book,

"one flew over
the cuckoo's nest"? / Yes.

Is there a point, or did you just
want to know if I'd read it?

There you go again, always
looking for a point.

Matthew calder just agreed to let his
wife move with their children.

Fantastic.

You got pictures of him with a hooker.
You blackmailed him.

You make it sound unsavory.

Listen to me.

I know how you practice law.
I don't practice law like that.

It was a rabbit.
Well, really a bunny.

Marines don't like bunnies?

You know, the only reason
I don't report you to the bar myself...

is because Sharon might not be able
to go to New York with her children,

which, shockingly, is more important
than our combined ethical egos.

You know what, sport?

You and I, now...

officially have a relationship.

Great.

Perhaps we can get together
and do a couple of push-ups...

Sport.

Hooker rabbit.

I love it.

You know, you never answered
my question the other night.

Which was?

Are you scared?

Only thing to be scared of,
son, is tomorrow.

I don't live for tomorrow.

Never saw the farther.

Denny crane...

What was that?

Nothing.

Here's to no tomorrows.