All language subtitles for 3x03 Out of Tune

Nat, hi.

Oh. I'm sorry. We're closing, Bernie.

- Come on. Put it on the credit card.
- No. She's not here.

Didn't she tell you?

Heather's gone to Canada.

- Oh, no. Oh, no.
- Now, Bernie...

- Bernie.
- Oh, no.

- No, no, no, no.
- Bernie! Bernie!

Follow me. Follow.

When will she be back?

Maybe never.

Oh, God.

I can give you the names of
some other girls with similar skills.

It's not about skill.

I've got this pain in my ears.

In my throat.
My eyes feel like they're throbbing.

My whole head is cramping!

- Have you had your sinuses checked?
- Natalie...

No, when I have sinusitis,
it feels just like that.

I need a service. Now.

Look, I'm here to make arrangements,
Bernie. You know that.

Just give me a little tap.

- I don't think so.
- Please. Just once.

And then I'll go.

[ audio plays on TV ]

Bloody piece of crap.

Hi, Dad.

Where did that come from?

I've got sound but no picture.

The telly?

It's plasma.

How much?

Look at this.

David Attenborough.

- There's even one on his career.
- Great.

Did you pay the mortgage?

We could sit down and watch it together.

It'll look great on this thing.

If I can ever get the bloody thing going.

[ closes door ]

Oh. Whoa!

The spoils of being a mistress.

A very well-dressed mistress.

It was all just to keep me quiet.

Yeah, well, you could be
at home washing socks

and being ignored for a footy game.

You think it was glamorous.

No. But the shoes helped, I'm sure.

Eugh. Those ones gave me blisters.

So, you're all settled, then.

Yeah, I just need to
sort through this lot.

Oh, I meant to ask. Rent.

Is that the first of the month thing?

Yeah, I'll speak to Heather's cousin.

- So, rent goes to the cousin?
- Yeah.

It's safer than Heather.

- Oh.
- [ chuckles ]

Morning, Nat.

Morning.

Proteas. They're beautiful.

What are you doing here?

Hit me.

You need a doctor, some
pills and a straitjacket.

Sorry.

- Please. Just once.
- Go away!

Please. I need something.

Don't call me again!

You want to pull out
of a thriving business?

Yeah. I want the cash.

Are you short?

5'8" in killer heels.

I need someone to do S&M.

You see, you're losing
me money right there.

I think I'll just take a
cheque for the lump sum.

- I can't do that, Mel.
- Yes, you can.

Just whip that chequebook out that
you've got hidden in here somewhere.

I can't pull money out of the
business right now. It's too risky.

You just said it was thriving.

You just said you were 5'8".

Go on.
Pop on a pair of those killer heels.

You'll scare the hell out
of my poor submissives.

[ chuckles ] Me?

[ laughs ]

Best-paying position in here.

Well, I guess it's just not
for everyone, is it, Nat?

Well, that's the best
I can do right now.

[ closes door ]

Do you remember 'Shoe Man'?

- Yes.
- Mmm. A bit ususual.

- Mmm.
- Quite taken with you, though.

Suited you to a tee, really.

- Did he?
- Mmm.

Paid well too.

- Shoe Man was the exception.
- To the rule. Exactly.

You are excellent with rules.

Since when?

Since I need an S&M mistress.

- No. Thank you.
- [ groans ]

Tess, a new position has opened up.

Mmm, she wants you
to do the alternatives.

Some people just like
something a bit different -

and they pay a lot
for the experience.

Ooh, I don't think I'm up for that.

Huge money. Huge.

Thanks, but...

I could do it.

It's not for you, Amy.

Why not?

I couldn't care less what kind of
creepy stuff people want to do.

That's my point. You need to care.

So, those two can do it but I can't?

They're called women.
You on the other hand...

I'll make you a fortune.

[ chatter ]

Nice bag.

Thank you.

Can I see?

Um...

Suit me?

Sure.

How old are you?

- Perfect.
- Sorry?

That's my age. Perfect boobs,
perfect bum, perfect tummy.

Amy.

Jane.

You're lovely.

Young. Too young.

No such thing.

Can I help you with anything?

Er, I just came to have a look around.

Have a drink and...

...well...

Oh. Fuck.

Say that again.

Fuck.

That's the best-sounding
'fuck' I've heard.

Look...

...no-one in here is gonna blink
at anything you want or need.

There's not many people like me here.

Let's hide, then.

Come on. We'll go into a room
without anyone else around.

[ sultry music ]

Don't look so terrified.

- I'm not.
- You are.

- You're very pretty.
- Thank you.

Is that something that interests you?

I could pop on a frock if you like
and you could read me a story.

Oh, no. Oh, God, no!
Nothing like that.

There must be some reason
I caught your attention.

- I was your age when I knew.
- Oh.

That you were a... lesbian.

Married to the wrong person.

That's...

I mean, I don't mean to be rude, but...

...that's a long time ago.

23 years.

[ chuckles nervously ]

Do you feel comfortable undressing?

I... think I need to try
just being here first.

OK.

Shall I take some clothes off?

We have to pick an animal
and study the family structure

so I picked wolves.

Your hairdresser needs to do
something about these split ends.

Anyway, the French have this
great saying about twilight -

that you can't tell if it's a
wolf or not or something.

"Entre chien et loup'.

Huh?

It's about a particular time of day

when you can't distingush
the dog from the wolf.

- It's about uncertainty.
- Hmm.

The interesting thing about
wolves is the alpha female.

- It's alpha male.
- There's also an alpha female.

She quietly does about running things,

sends the male ahead.

Oh, she might look like
she's just following

but she's actually the one
making all the decisions.

Hmm.

That sounds like me.

Well, let's have a look at you.

And that'll do us for today, I think.

- [ laughter ]
- LAUREN: You can't throw this out!

They've all lost their glow.

Tess, don't dare blame
your designer brands!

Well, I bought that in Paris
on my first business trip.

- Oh, try it on with that.
- Oh, Rome.

I was there to take notes and
provide after-dinner entertainment.

At least you're still in one piece.

There's more. Hang on a tick.

What's wrong with you?

- My vagina doesn't work.
- [ laughs ]

That's like blaming the
sun for not coming up.

I'm serious. It's menopause.

God.

No, it's not full. It's... peri,
semi, demi something-or-other.

Oh, Mel.

- Are you sure?
- Mmm. Mmm. Yeah, I've had tests.

Lots of test.

A natural disaster.

- But you're not old enough, are you?
- No, of course not!

Unless you've had some
very good work done.

Oh, Lauren, I just want
one thing in my life to work.

Are you listening down there?

We're on the clock, lady!

I don't know what to do.

Try something else.

I can't... I can't do anything else.

You have thought about
the future, haven't you?

I mean, we can't all do this forever.

You see, my plans revolved around
making lots and lots of money

and then retiring in a few years.

So bring it forward.

The money side's gone a bit...
pear-shaped.

There's always a solution.

See, I'd be better off if someone
just chopped off my arm.

Yeah, there's a lot of guys out there
who love a bit of limbless bimbo.

Hmm. Alright. More wine.

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

You look great with clothes on.

- Thanks.
- Special client?

Er, I'm looking after the
place while Nat's out.

Wow. Really?

- Yes.
- Huh!

Well, that's brilliant.

- It should make for a nice change.
- Mmm.

Good for you.

So, when you're ready, come
and see me. I'll get you started.

Oh, I'm already booked
up for the first hour.

Paying off a plasma screen.

- When you're finished there, then.
- Yeah. Sure.

No probs, boss.

[ opens and closes door ]

[ movie plays ]

I had a nice little visit from your sister.

- Mmm?
- Mmm.

She has a lot of spare
time on her hands.

I think she's taking a break.

She burnt out?

I would've thought she'd
be cashed up enough

to take a few days out
without begging me to...

[ whispers ] Do you wanna go?

No. Sorry.

[ whispers ] Try some.
It's all part of the experience.

OK. Um...

Mmm.

How much did it cost?

$9. It's a bit of a rip-off, really.

Er, no. The... the...

Oh. I don't know.
$10 million, maybe.

Mmm. Yeah, they didn't think to
buy any breast petals. Poor thing.

Hmm?

It's clearly a very cold
day there in Wichita.

I think you're supposed to focus on
the fact that she's digging a grave.

Yeah, right,
you're looking at her shovel!

Shh!

[ sighs ]

Oh, they're overdoing the
air con a bit in here too.

More popcorn?

- The butter's rancid.
- [ gunshot, woman screams ]

Maybe he was just trying to spoil you.

He paid way too much for the telly
and I didn't really need the DVDs.

Could've borrowed more
from the video store.

If this is a problem for you...

No. No.

We don't kiss. That's all.

What do we do?

Um... are you sure you're ready
to take it to the next step?

With your hourly rate in mind,

I'm prepared to push it past
the hair-brushing phase.

Bath, then.

Nice?

- We have one of these at home.
- Oh.

Not like this.

Where's your...?

There?

- Can you feel that?
- No.

Now?

Oh.

Yes.

See? We have jets.

Yes. So do we.

Not like...

...this.

[ moans, pants ]

[ musical tone ]

- Ooh. Time's up.
- Mmm!

[ musical tone ]

Thank you.

Madam?

- Jane, isn't it?
- Yes.

How was Amy for you?

Er...

She's very pretty, isn't she?

But you're not satisfied.

This may sound terribly naive

but, look I feel like Amy doesn't...

...she doesn't want me.

Would you like me to
arrange someone else?

No. Thank you.

I'm sure we can find
someone more suitable.

Oh, look, I like her.

Maybe I'm just over-reacting.
This is all very new.

I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.

- Amy.
- Yeah?

- Your client, the woman.
- Oh, yeah.

- Amy...
- What?

She's gone her whole life without
ever really enjoying herself

so... I'm just making sure
she enjoys every step,

every moment of the
way to the orgasmatron.

Hmm.
And you're the orgasmatron?

Well, we all are, aren't we?

Amy, you're treating her
like an ATM machine.

So I'm business savvy!
I thought you'd be pleased.

- Oh, don't try and play me.
- I'm not!

- You really think I'd fall for that?
- It was worth a try.

OK! Look, I'm sorry.

I just need you to understand.

We don't treat people like meat.

No.

No. That's how they treat us.
Right.

- Did she hurt you?
- No.

She's lovely.

She's too lovely.

Look, if you don't want to
do this kind of work...

- Prostitution?
- Women.

It makes no difference to me.

Just don't worry about it, OK?

I'll fix it.

Next time, you can choose the film.

- [ sighs ]
- Hmm?

- I don't know about this.
- About what?

Oh, popcorn and movies.

Well, next time we'll try the beach.

I could finally wear my new wetsuit.

If going out makes you feel weird, then...

What does that mean?

You like to stay inside.

It's not the going out that I dislike.

Considering what we do...

Yeah?

...it's just silly, isn't it?

- What's silly?
- This.

It's just us.

We should keep this open.

Open? What do you mean?

In the no holding hands, no
kissy, you know, coupley us way.

- Just open.
- Open.

Oh... see other people.

- Keep our options...
- Open?

Open. Yes.

Don't give me that face.

Every man alive wants
to hear those words.

- Not me, Nat.
- [ knock at door ]

Hi.

Nat...

...you know what you were
saying last night about S&M.

- I am so ready for it.
- No. You're not.

No, really, I am.

When you are, I'll let you know.

[ slams door ]

[ chatter, quiet music ]

Rosie.

We need booze.

Yes, we do.

Hey, are you on the same rates as us?

I doubt it. I'm freelance.

'Cause I need a service.

Amy, we've been there, OK? Go to
a bar. You won't have a problem.

No.

I don't want some knob
head I don't know.

And besides, I'm tired.

Well, that's flattering!

Well, please?

I need to actually have

the orgasm I've been faking
for the past three weeks

or else my kitty's gonna
start biting back.

I don't know, Amy. I...

Is there something wrong with me?

Not a thing.

Skin like silk, bum like a peach.

Boobs like...

I don't know.

What are my boobs like?

I'll pay full price.

No kissing.

No. No.

Definitely no kissing.

- Fish lips.
- Cat's bum.

Definitely no kissing.

Oh, here.

Thanks. You're an expert.

I've had a lot of practice.

So, any plans for tonight?

My daughter's playing
Portia in the school play.

- Oh, how fantastic!
- Mmm.

- I always loved the kids' plays.
- Have you got kids?

Er, no! No.

I have, um... er...

I guess you'd call me
a stepmum of sorts.

Oh. Second wife, huh?
I don't envy you.

- Well, let me know how she goes.
- Who?

Your daughter.

[ Amy laughs ]

- Hey. Come on.
- What?

Why?

Amy.

Lie down.

Just lie down, please.

[ both gasp ]

Let's make this a regular appointment.

I don't think that's a good idea.

I build up so much sexual tension

helping every guy out
with his jism levels.

I need someone to relieve mine.

What do you do to relieve yours?

I... I have a friend.

Oh.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Yeah.

No-one in this business
can manage that.

I mean, short-term, yeah, but
no-one ever really makes it work.

She's cool with it.

Sure she is.

But it's OK for you to do it, is it?

I don't have a boyfriend.

Oh, that's concenient.

No, I'm just saying, I'v never
met a woman who likes to share.

Not someone she cares about, anyway.

This is business, Amy.

You of all people should get that.

And you of all people
should get women.

Don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.

- It's not a secret.
- Oh, well, what is it?

It's personal, alright? Just butt out.

Fine. Business.

Every second Wednesday,
you and me.

No way.

Mmm...

[ groans ] Never again.

So maybe next time
we can do dinner first.

- Goodbye, Amy.
- Bye, Sean.

- Hi!
- Bye.

[ whispers ]
Haven't I seen her in 232?

It was a gig.
Money exchanged hands.

Oh, just as long as vampire
girl doesn't find out.

- It was Nat's idea.
- What?

Sort of.

- We're doing open.
- Oh, Sean. Take a hint.

Oh, that's great. Thank you, Mel.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Out of line.

Got nothing else to do.

- Mel.
- Oh, it's that doctor.

Trying to tell me I'm
like every other woman.

Probably meant physically.

I'm not. Fuck that. I'm not.

I'm not going to be some
sad sexless heifer

worrying about where my husband is

or when the power bill's due.

Or whether can bore
myself so senseless

that I'll paint my own toanails
to fill in a couple of hours.

Oh, shit!

Sorry... What am I going to do?

You are the most well-connected
woman in this town, right?

So maybe one of these guys
has got what you need.

And what's that?

Business ideas.

Nat?

- Comfortable?
- Oh... uh... it...

Just looking for phone numbers.

I keep them right there.

Oh... doesn't really matter
now anyway. Thanks.

Receipts?

- In the safe.
- Thank you.

How'd you go?

Oh, loved it.
Really enjoyed the challenge.

So are you happy?

I've never really thought about that.

No, about everything.

I haven't added up
the bookings yet, so...

- Thank you for giving me a go.
- Thank you for stepping in.

[ clears throat ]

[ clears throat ] Geoff? It's Melanie.
How are you, gorgeous?

Sure, yes. I... I didn't know
I was interrupting.

Yeah, well, you've got my num...

Paul! How are you, gorgeous?

Oh, that's terrible. I'm really sorry.

No, no. Of course...
of course I understand.

Look, I'll keep your usual time

and you give me a call
when things pick up.

OK. Bye.

Anthony! Let me guess.
You're still recovering, right?

Yeah. No. OK. Bye.

Come on, Omar.
You've never let me down yet.

[ clears throat ]

Omar. Guess who.

[ laughs ] No.

Hey, Omar, why don't we
get together and have lunch?

Excellent.

[ mobile phone rings ]

Yes?

MAN: [ on phone ]
My head is exploding.

Hello?

Sinus. Sinus. It's getting worse.

Bernie?

- It's not my bloody sinus.
- Bernie...

Nat, Nat, I know you
told me not to call you

but, Nat, I need help.

Please do something. Please.

- [ sultry music ]
- Please, Nat. I need help.

Nat? Please.

- Where are you?
- Nat, quickly.

[ sighs ]

- Are you OK now?
- Mmm.

- Sorry.
- It's fine.

I just freaked out.

What happened?

Oh, at work. It was a couple.
They were thinking of separating.

Because of you?

No. No, no no. I'm a
conciliator for the family court.

I'm supposed to help
save their marriage.

That's very noble.

They started telling me about
how - after they had the baby -

they stopped having sex.

She accused him of getting weird.

OK. He wanted to tie me up.

There's nothing wrong with
wanting to spice things up a bit.

What do you suggest?

You could try doing it in
different rooms in the house.

Maybe the laundry or the kitchen.

- Maybe use a spatula.
- Spatula?

Yeah, or a wooden spoon.

- [ laughs ]
- That's kind of a game.

For some people.

Are you trying to
take the piss out of me?

No, no, no. Don't get upset. I'm
just trying to use our imagination.

Maybe I should put
an apron on as well.

Sure. If you want.
Whatever tickles your fancy.

I'll tickle your fucking
fancy with my bloody fist.

Then he threatened to hit me.

Which, of course...

You can if you want.

If it makes you feel better.

You're a fucking pervert.
That's what you fucking are.

I just got worked up.

- Then I had a meltdown.
- [ door slams ]

And that's why I called you.

NAT: And suddenly you were
the one with the problem.

Yeah.

Perhaps you should try so hard.

- To help people?
- To understand.

I find most people, especially
couples, kind of... simple.

- Yeah.
- Mmm.

They seem to think that spending
your whole life with someone

is some kind of major achievement

when, in fact, it's just kind of lazy.

Which is why they all get chubby.

Mmm. Is that mean?

- Yep.
- [ laughs ]

But then... we are the outcasts.

So we're allowed to be
as mean as we like.

[ laughs ] What makes you
think I'm an outcast?

[ laughs ] Come on.

You know,
I was really frightened at first.

Frightened? Of what?

Of being me.

I'm gonna go.

Bye, Dad.

Where's the telly?

It's at the second-hand
dealer down the road.

What? Why?

Oh, just another excuse for
me to sit on my bum all day.

Maybe you should stay home.

And do what?

Study.

I'm on top of that.

Well, keep me company, then.

It's pretty quiet around here lately.

Dad...

- I'll be back after...
- Stay safe, little rabbit.

- Lovely to see you.
- You too.

Mwah. Mwah.

You look well.

Things are on the up.

- Oh!
- Sit.

I've ordered some champagne.

I thought you weren't
supposed to drink. Hmm?

How's this for an offer?

Hmm?

An apartment by the bay, two
bedrooms, fully furnished. A new car.

A Lexus or something similar.

Not sure about the Lexus, but go on.

[ toddler babbles ]

Melanie?

Yes? Sorry. Go on.

A monthly stipend for odds and ends

and money for new clothes.

That sounds perfect. [ laughs ]

Still, I've never really considered
myself a one-man kind of girl.

- But it's a good offer.
- It's a great offer.

- The car, it's not too much?
- No.

I don't want her to think
I'm trying to take over her life.

'Her'?

Isabelle. I met her in London.

Congratulations.

Now, Omar, the reason I called,
I, um... I'm looking for investors.

Bad time for investments.

Well, I gather.

The point is,
it's time for me to expand,

to start my own business.

- I can't help you, Mel.
- Just hear me out.

I can't go spending my money
on luxuries like you, Mel.

It's not on me.

It's not a good time.

I could spread the word around.
I'd be happy to help.

But that's all I can offer.

[ knock at door ]

- Hi. Have you got a minute?
- Sure.

I had an unexpected booking last night.

OK. I'll write it up.

Standard fee.
I'll bring in the receipt.

Cool. New client?

Er... sort of.

New but old?

- Amy.
- Amy who?

Amy. Amy, from here.

Oh... [ chuckles ]

She wants to make
a permanent booking.

- I haven't agreed yet but...
- You'll let me know.

Not even a little twinge?

If you're getting paid, we both win.

I just thought the idea of me
having a really great time

with a young, fit, naked girl...

It was my idea.

There's too many
blurry lines here, Nat.

- I like blurry.
- It's rubbish.

You're different. I get it.

OK, I get that.

I'm into it.

Whatever you want...

...just as long as I can get past that...

...skirt.

We are having fun.

Don't look at me like that.

You're the most gorgeous
thing that I have ever seen.

We good now?

Amazing.

Yeah. I'm good, aren't I?

Yeah, you are.

Can I make this a permanent booking?

I don't think so, Jane.

- I'm all booked up for a while.
- Hooray.

Really.

You should move to Lesbos.

Go find someone who cares.

Maybe you can't accept the fact
I just want what every man wants.

Maybe you're getting the
wolf confused for a dog.

Look at you.

Haven't you wasted
enough time already?

Still tiptoeing around,
halfway to your grave,

wasting your life.

Listen, sweetheart,
I came here for some pleasure,

not to be lectured by you.

What do you know about pleasure?

I know it's not just between your legs.

You know, the irony is,

you clearly have no
concept of how to give.

You don't know anything about me.

Oh, you can hide behind your
prettiness your whole life

but trust me - you and I
aren't so different.

Yeah, we are, actually.

[ sighs ] I'm sorry.

- Just go.
- Oh, Amy.

Fuck off.

[ chatter ]

25 words or less why your client

just left looking like she'd
swallowed paint stripper.

- Oh, that...
- No, not that.

I was trying to help her out.

Explain that to me, Amy.

- She ended the service.
- On what basis?

She can't face up to who she really is.

What has that got to do with you?

I gave her some advice.

That's not what you're here.

People unload on me, Nat.

Just spill their guts all over the place

and I'm supposed to ignore that, am I?

You're supposed to make sure
they don't feel humiliated.

Oh, come on. That's the whole
paint. They want me to know.

No. They don't.

If you can't handle your clients

without getting personally involved...

Look, Lauren told me to.

- Lauren told you to end the service?
- Yeah.

She freaked out at me

and I just figured it was
best to end the whole thing.

[ man, woman laugh ]

- Can I have a word?
- Sure.

You left something out about last night.

I collected all the receipts.

Amy's client - Jane.
Looks like we lost her.

- [ groans ]
- On your watch.

There were some minor
issues but I sorted them out.

She said you told her she could end
things if they weren't working out.

- Nat, I didn't say that!
- So you knew about it?

Amy said that she would fix it.

- You should have handled it.
- I did!

Unsuccessfully!

Nat...

...Amy has got problems.

- Real problems.
- [ scoffs ] Don't we all.

Oh, g'day, little rabbit.

What's this?

Went and got it back.

Oh, darling.

[ chuckles ]

Shit, um... where's the remote?

Oh. [ laughs ]

[ sighs ]

- Dad?
- Yeah?

Why do you still call me 'little rabbit'?

Well, that's what
I've always called you.

And if you were an animal,
what would you be?

Ooh, um...

...I reckon I'd be a baboon.

Ooh. [ laughs ]

Well, I'm not a little
rabbit anymore, Dad.

[on phone] Hi, you've rung Daniel.
Please leave a message.

Hi. It's me.

I just...

...I wanted to see how you are.

I miss hearing about
your ungrateful rug rats

and how brilliantly
shitty your day was.

And I, um...

...I'm talking to your voicemail again.

[ door opens ]

- Good evening.
- Evening.

Play me something.

[ plays scratchily ]

Stop!

That's terrible. Start again.

[ plays same note ]

Try harder!

Ma'am.

[ plays unsteady trill ]

You're rubbish.
Have you been practising?

- Yes, ma'am.
- How often?

Every day.

So why aren't you getting any better?

I don't know.

I do.

Why is it, Ma'am?

You don't pluck.

[ whispers ] Pluck...

Pluck...

Pluck...

[ sighs loudly, pants ]

- Up straight!
- [ sighs ]

That's it.

- Perfect.
- [ pants ]

[ bach's 'air on the G String' plays ]

Captioned by Grantman Brown