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1
00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:04,239
- NOW THE REASON
WE'RE HERE
2
00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:07,712
IS TO LOVE EACH OTHER
3
00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:11,251
TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER
4
00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:15,119
WHEN LOVE
WALKS IN THE ROOM
5
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:18,289
EVERYBODY STAND UP
6
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,319
OH, IT'S GOOD, GOOD, GOOD
7
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,615
SAY I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU,
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU
8
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,727
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU
9
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,732
[Simple Minds'
Don't You (Forget About Me)]
10
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:37,467
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY
11
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:41,105
OOH-OOH-OOH
12
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,812
OHH
13
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,253
- [sports announcer]
14
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,679
AND IF YOU CRACK
THE BOOK ON EVANS,
15
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,854
YOU SHOULD KNOW TO KEEP
THE BALL OF THE STRIKE ZONE
16
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,852
BECAUSE HE'S
A ONE-MAN WRECKING CREW.
17
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,754
- HEY, BUDDY,
I KNOW YOU'RE ON YOUR LUNCH,
18
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,356
BUT YOU GOT A SEC?
19
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,858
- YEAH.
WHAT'S UP?
20
00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,130
- NOTICE ANYTHING
WRONG WITH THIS?
21
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,661
- "MOST LIKELY TO PRUDENCE."
22
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,226
- HMM.
- I'M SORRY, DAD.
23
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,865
I JUST--I CAN'T GET HER
OUT OF MY HEAD.
24
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,799
- I KNOW IT'S BEEN A ROUGH
COUPLE OF MONTHS.
25
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:11,666
BUT I GOT A VOLLEYBALL
TROPHY OUT HERE THAT READS,
26
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,205
"MOST VALUABLE PRUDENCE."
27
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:18,782
[game music, chatter]
28
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,282
TAKING THIS BREAKUP
KINDA HARD, HUH?
29
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,554
- IT'S NOT A BREAKUP.
30
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,522
WE'RE JUST TAKING A BREAK.
31
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,421
IT'S LIKE THAT SAYING,
IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING,
32
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:28,793
SET IT FREE, AND IT ALWAYS
COMES BACK TO YOU.
33
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,222
- STRIKE.
34
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,458
- ALWAYS.
35
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:34,702
- I LOVE YOU, PAL, BUT YOU NEED
TO GET YOURSELF A PLAN "B."
36
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,428
I KNOW WHAT'LL CHEER YOU UP.
37
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,734
[cheering]
38
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,896
THAT SKINNY LITTLE BASTARD
IS 1 FOR 26
39
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,404
AGAINST RIGHT-HANDED PITCHING,
AND STILL HE GETS ON BASE.
40
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,667
THIS HAS GOTTA BE OUR YEAR.
41
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,205
- YOU BET YOUR ASS
IT'S OUR YEAR.
42
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,610
LOOK WHO'S COMING UP.
43
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,341
- DANTE EVANS.
44
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,607
- I DUNNO, DANTE'S BEEN
IN A SLUMP LATELY.
45
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,505
IF HE WANTS TO GET ON BASE,
HE NEEDS TO SAY A PRAYER
46
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,377
TO THE PATRON SAINT
OF BASEBALL.
47
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,216
- DANTE DOESN'T NEED
SAINT RITA OF CASCIA.
48
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,351
HE'LL BE FINE.
49
00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,446
HE'S JUST GOING
THROUGH A HARD TIME.
50
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,658
- SWINGING...
51
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,759
IT IS...
HOME RUN!
52
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,561
[both cheer]
- DING-DONG!
53
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:06,933
STRAIGHT INTO
THE PARKING LOT.
54
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,860
- I KNEW HE COULD DO IT.
HE NEVER LETS ME DOWN.
55
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,196
- YEAH.
- EXCUSE ME.
56
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,831
I WAS HOPING TO FIND
A TROPHY FOR DOGS.
57
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,866
- BACK WALL, THIRD SHELF.
- TAKE WHAT YOU WANT.
58
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:18,342
- DANTE, IT'S YOUR 11TH
WALK-OFF THIS YEAR.
59
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,872
WOULD YOU CONSIDER THIS
THE END OF YOUR RECENT SLUMP?
60
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:21,878
- I'D HAVE TO SAY SO, CHIP.
61
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,739
- YOU KNOW, YOU'D THINK
ONE OF THESE PITCHERS
62
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,277
WOULD BUY AN XBOX.
63
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,783
THE HOLE IN HIS SWING
IS LOW AND AWAY.
64
00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:28,945
- THANK YOU, DANTE.
- THANKS, MAN.
65
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,822
HEY, BABY.
66
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,491
- HEY, THAT GIRL KINDA
LOOKS LIKE PRUDENCE, HUH?
67
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,561
- YOU THINK?
68
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,918
- BUT ONLY TIME WILL TELL
IF EVANS CAN WALK OFF
69
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,826
WITH ANOTHER DIVISION TITLE.
70
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:41,328
- WOW, SHE LOOKS
A LOT LIKE PRUDENCE.
71
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,862
- PRUDENCE DOESN'T EVEN
LIKE BASEBALL.
72
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:43,726
- YEAH, AND, YOU KNOW,
A LOT OF GIRLS
73
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,804
HAVE THE HAIR LIKE THAT
AND WEAR THE--
74
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,843
OH, MY GOD.
75
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,438
- OH YEAH
76
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:52,710
I AM IN MISERY
77
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,710
THERE AIN'T NOBODY
78
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,212
- IT'S NOT ENOUGH
YOU BROKE MY HEART,
79
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:57,514
YOU HAD TO DATE MY HERO?
80
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,605
- HI, SAM.
81
00:02:58,646 --> 00:02:59,776
- WHO'S NEXT ON YOUR
TO-DO LIST,
82
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:00,953
THE GREEN LANTERN?
BONO?
83
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,921
- SAM, PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN.
84
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,790
- HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT
IF I DATED YOUR HERO?
85
00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,618
- OPRAH?
- STINGS, DOESN'T IT?
86
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,694
ME FRENCHING OPRAH ON TV?
87
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:09,892
HER HANDS EVERYWHERE.
88
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,863
- SAM, I NEVER MEANT
TO HURT YOU.
89
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,932
AND AS CRAZY
AS THIS MAY SOUND,
90
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,961
YOU KIND OF HAD A HAND
IN BRINGING US TOGETHER.
91
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,566
- WHAT?
- IT'S TRUE.
92
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:19,829
DO YOU REMEMBER
A FEW WEEKS BACK
93
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,697
DANTE HAD THAT BOOK SIGNING
FOR HIS BIOGRAPHY?
94
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:22,865
- DANTE'S IN FUEGO.
95
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,413
I COULDN'T GO.
I HAVE CONJUNCTIVITIS.
96
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,938
- WELL, AFTER HOW THINGS ENDED
97
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,713
I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING
NICE FOR YOU.
98
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,841
BUT DANTE AND I
GOT TO TALKING,
99
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:34,278
AND, I MEAN, THANKS TO YOU
I KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM--
100
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,575
HIS LOVE OF PANINIS,
101
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,386
HIS INTEREST IN CLEAN COAL
TECHNOLOGY,
102
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,859
HIS FIJIAN OUTREACH PROGRAM.
103
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:46,029
- YOU SAID THAT YOU NEEDED
A BREAK FROM RELATIONSHIPS.
104
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,899
- I NEEDED A BREAK FROM YOU.
105
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,528
- BECAUSE I'M NOT FAMOUS?
106
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,903
- BECAUSE YOU WATCH LIFE
FROM THE SIDELINES, SAM.
107
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,802
HOW COME YOU NEVER WENT
ON THAT JOB INTERVIEW I GOT YOU?
108
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:55,965
THAT SPORTS MAGAZINE.
109
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,813
- I HAD TICKETS
TO A DOUBLEHEADER.
110
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,779
- WHAT'S THE BEST THING
THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
111
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,809
- WHEN WE WON THE SERIES
IN '02.
112
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,814
- WE?
SAM, REALLY?
113
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,516
WHAT POSITION DID YOU PLAY?
114
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:09,848
- THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE
OF ALL--FAN.
115
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:13,753
- SAM, YOU'RE NOT A DOER.
116
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,687
YOU'RE A LOT
OF WONDERFUL THINGS,
117
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,294
BUT YOU'RE NOT THAT.
118
00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,486
- I'M NOT A "DON'T-ER."
119
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,628
- WHAT'S UP, BABY?
120
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:23,803
YOU IN THE MOOD
FOR SOME BENIHANA?
121
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,701
- OH, MY GOD.
122
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:28,543
- DANTE, THIS IS
AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE, SAM.
123
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,339
HE'S A BIG FAN OF YOURS.
124
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,571
- WHAT'S UP, MAN?
125
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,836
- HI.
126
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,914
- YOU DON'T SAY?
127
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,353
- HI.
128
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,349
THEN HE INVITED ME TO DINNER,
129
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,881
AND I THINK I PEED
A LITTLE BIT, DAD.
130
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,385
I PEED IN FRONT OF MY HERO.
131
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,748
- THOSE BIG STARS,
THEY'RE USED TO THAT.
132
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,057
SO YOU GONNA GO?
133
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,558
- I DON'T KNOW.
HOW COULD I NOT GO?
134
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,761
I'VE GOT HIS ROOKIE CARD,
HIS FATHEAD WALL ART.
135
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,404
THE GUY'S A FIRST-BALLOT
HALL-OF-FAMER.
136
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:59,600
IF BARRY BONDS
AND BABE RUTH HAD A CHILD--
137
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,743
- HIS HEAD WOULDN'T FIT
THROUGH THE BIRTH CANAL.
138
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:02,669
YOU SHOULD GO.
139
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,513
- BUT HOW CAN I SIT
ACROSS FROM THE GUY
140
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:05,738
WHEN I KNOW HE'S PLAYING
SLAP-AND-TICKLE
141
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,873
WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE?
142
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,077
- THAT WOULD BE A PROBLEM.
143
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,778
- BUT IS IT INSURMOUNTABLE?
144
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,010
I HAVE DREAMED OF HAVING DINNER
WITH DANTE EVANS.
145
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,116
WELL, IT WAS MORE LIKE
BEER AND WINGS,
146
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,478
AND BONO WAS THERE TOO.
147
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,747
BUT HE WOULDN'T EAT
THE WINGS.
148
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,515
- WHO'S HE SHOWING OFF FOR?
149
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,863
LISTEN, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT
THE CHANCE TO BREAK BREAD
150
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,789
WITH DANTE FREAKIN' EVANS.
151
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,464
WOMEN COME AND GO.
152
00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,793
HEROES ARE FOREVER.
153
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,427
- THAT IS TRUE.
154
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,562
MAYBE I CAN DO THIS.
155
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,797
- OF COURSE YOU CAN.
156
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,972
YOU'RE A SACOVITCH.
157
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,601
YOU'LL SACK UP,
158
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,896
WEAR YOUR BEST SUIT,
159
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,137
LOOK HIM IN THE EYE,
160
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,511
AND SHAKE HIS HAND.
161
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,911
BECAUSE YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU ARE?
162
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,853
- THE WORLD'S BEST SON.
- AH.
163
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,478
- IT'S AN HONOR, DAD.
164
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,054
BUT I CAN'T GO ALONE.
165
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,781
- WELL, I GUESS WE'LL JUST
HAVE TO FIND YOU A DATE.
166
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,448
[laughter]
167
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,487
- OH, MAN.
168
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:58,463
- OH, DANTE,
YOU ARE A CHARACTER.
169
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,792
IS HE NOT A CHARACTER?
170
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,558
HEY, WHEN YOU WON
THE BATTING TITLE IN '06,
171
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,597
WHAT KIND OF METAL DID
THEY USE FOR THE TROPHY?
172
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,133
- I'LL TELL YOU
WHEN I WIN MY NEXT ONE.
173
00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:11,097
- HA! YOU SEE
WHAT HE DID THERE?
174
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,508
TO YOU, BUDDY.
175
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,010
- YOU KNOW,
SAM USED TO PLAY.
176
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,581
HE WAS REALLY GOOD.
177
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,449
- OH, NOT REALLY GOOD.
178
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,678
I PROBABLY WOULD
HAVE BEEN BETTER
179
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,782
IF IT WEREN'T FOR
A MEDICAL CONDITION.
180
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,853
- HIS LEFT LEG'S
SHORTER THAN HIS RIGHT.
181
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,793
- THE DOCTORS
TOLD US TO PULL IT,
182
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:28,118
BUT ME AND MY WIFE HAD OUR OWN
STUFF TO WORK THROUGH, SO...
183
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:31,655
- OH, DANTE, WHY DON'T
YOU GIVE HIM THE BAG?
184
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,862
- IT'S A LITTLE TOKEN
FOR MY BIGGEST FAN.
185
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:35,895
- HOO-HOO-HOO.
186
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,699
- HOLY--
- OH!
187
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,471
- IS THIS AUTOGRAPHED
BY THE WHOLE TEAM?
188
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:41,801
- YEAH, WELL,
EVERYBODY BUT MURDOCH.
189
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:42,865
HE CAN'T READ.
190
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,203
- MOTHER OF MERCY.
191
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,437
IS THIS--
192
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,673
- DANTE MIST.
193
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,437
- THAT'S NOT EVEN
ON THE SHELVES YET.
194
00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:50,877
- 100% CANE SUGAR.
195
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,811
INFUSED WITH EXCELLENCE.
196
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,546
- EXCUSE ME, MR. EVANS.
197
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:55,822
I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU,
198
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:58,889
BUT MY HUSBAND
IS A GIGANTIC FAN.
199
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,019
- JUST A LITTLE BIT.
200
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,793
- COULD YOU SIGN HIS SHIRT?
201
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,822
- AIN'T NO BOTHER AT ALL,
BIG FELLA.
202
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:04,857
YO, DANTE LOVES THE LOVE.
203
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,592
- OH, DANTE LOVES THE LOVE.
204
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:07,827
- OKAY.
- THANK YOU.
205
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,631
- GOT YOU.
THERE YOU GO.
206
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:10,733
- OKAY.
207
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:11,904
- OH, BAM.
208
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,732
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
209
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,937
- GOOD NIGHT.
COME ON.
210
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,639
- GOOD NIGHT.
- GOOD NIGHT!
211
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,111
- SORRY ABOUT THAT.
- THAT'S DANTE.
212
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,939
HE ALWAYS MAKES TIME
FOR A FAN.
213
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,584
- I JUST DO WHAT I DO, BABY.
214
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,851
[phone chimes]
215
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,779
EXCUSE ME, WON'T YOU?
- MM-HMM.
216
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,575
- HOW 'BOUT THAT?
YOU TWO HAVE THE SAME PHONE.
217
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:32,547
- YEAH, BUT HE PROBABLY HAS
FAMOUS PEOPLE ON HIS SPEED DIAL.
218
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,086
I ONLY HAVE YOU
AND COUSIN BARRY.
219
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,791
- DON'T SELL
YOUR COUSIN SHORT.
220
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:36,993
HE MET THE MAYOR ONCE.
221
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,194
- HEY, SCOTTY BOOKED ME ON
THAT TAQUITO HEAVEN COMMERCIAL.
222
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:42,896
- OOH, I LOVE
THEIR SALSA VERDE.
223
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,030
- SPICY!
224
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,634
DANTE FEELS BAD.
225
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,766
DANTE'S BEEN JAWING ABOUT
HIMSELF ALL NIGHT.
226
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,801
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
227
00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,637
KICKING ASS
AND TAKING NAMES OR WHAT?
228
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,043
- [laughs]
M--
229
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,814
UM...
230
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,114
WELL, I--
231
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,205
- YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT HE IS.
232
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,946
I TELL YOU WHAT,
ONCE THIS KID LINES UP
233
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,281
A PLAN "B," WATCH OUT.
234
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,775
HE COULD BE PRESIDENT.
235
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,947
- HA, WELL,
MAYBE NOT PRESIDENT.
236
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,956
- [giggling]
237
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,658
- EXCUSE ME.
238
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,990
YOU KNOW WHAT, I HAVE TO--
239
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,955
I'M SORRY,
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT--
240
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,564
I HAVE TO--THIS IS--
241
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:29,879
- HEY.
242
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,310
- HI.
243
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,854
- YOUR DAD SEEMS LIKE
HE'S HAVING A GOOD TIME.
244
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,281
- YEAH, WELL, IT'S BEEN
20 YEARS SINCE MOM LEFT,
245
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:39,986
SO IT'S JUST NICE TO SEE HIM
FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN.
246
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,220
- [laughs]
247
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,785
- SO ARE YOU...
248
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,125
- I'M GREAT.
I-I'M GREAT.
249
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,330
HOW 'BOUT YOU, PRU?
250
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,801
ARE YOU--ARE YOU HAPPY?
251
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,800
LIKE--LIKE REALLY HAPPY?
252
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,742
- I THINK SO, YEAH.
253
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,768
- WELL, THEN I'M HAPPY
FOR YOU.
254
00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,774
THAT'S--DANTE'S A CLASS ACT.
255
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,666
- MM-HMM.
256
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,278
- I GUESS THE...
GUESS THE BETTER MAN WON.
257
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,280
- OH...OH, NOT BETTER.
258
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,783
JUST DIFFERENT.
259
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:15,264
I'M REALLY GLAD
YOU CAME TONIGHT, SAM.
260
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,788
- ME TOO.
261
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,233
- I SHOULD, UM...
262
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,710
- YOU KNOW,
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU
263
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,209
SEAT THE CUSTOMERS ALL NIGHT.
264
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,640
HOW'D YOU LIKE A STRAW
FOR THAT SHAKE, GIRL?
265
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,106
- THINK YOU CAN HANDLE
ALL THIS?
266
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:40,975
- WHY DON'T YOU TEXT ME
AFTER YOU GET OFF WORK
267
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,854
AND WE'LL FIND OUT?
268
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,623
- DANTE.
269
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,823
WHY?
270
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,294
- I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU
STANDING THERE, JIM.
271
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,291
- IT'S SAM.
272
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,262
- YEAH. YO, YOU KNOW, HEY.
273
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,962
YOU KNOW HOW IT GETS
ON THE ROAD.
274
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,164
YOU KNOW, DANTE GETS TENSE.
275
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,795
- YOU'RE NOT ON THE ROAD.
276
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,970
- DANTE GETS TENSE
AT HOME TOO.
277
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,729
PRUDENCE KNOWS THE DEAL.
278
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:01,838
- WHAT, THE DEAL?
279
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,139
NO, I'M PRETTY SURE PRUDENCE
DOES NOT KNOW THE DEAL.
280
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:07,811
AND I THINK--I THINK
THAT YOU SHOULD TELL HER.
281
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,841
- OR WHAT?
282
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,407
- OR I-I WILL.
283
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,084
- REALLY?
284
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,753
WHO IS SHE GONNA BELIEVE, MAN,
285
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,252
HER LOSER OF AN EX-BOYFRIEND
286
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,693
OR THE GUY
THAT JUST BOUGHT HER
287
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,088
A WALL-SIZED
THOMAS KINKADE,
288
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,349
THE PAINTER OF LIGHT?
289
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,957
- YOU KNOW,
I USED TO DEFEND YOU.
290
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,419
PEOPLE WOULD CALL YOU
A SELF-ABSORBED,
291
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,027
WASHED-UP 'ROID FREAK
WITH A HOLE IN HIS SWING
292
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,760
THE SIZE OF CHICAGO.
293
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:29,926
YOU'RE NO HERO.
294
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:33,433
YOU'RE A JOKE...
INFUSED WITH DOUCHERY.
295
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,366
- AIN'T NO HOLE
IN MY SWING.
296
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,842
- LIKE HELL, THERE ISN'T.
297
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,370
YOU SUCK, EVANS.
298
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,735
I BET THAT DANDELION
COULD STRIKE YOU OUT.
299
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,414
- [laughs]
300
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,852
- OH, YOU THINK YOU
CAN STRIKE ME OUT, DANDELION?
301
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,048
- UHH...
302
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,379
- UHH. SOUNDS
LIKE A YES TO DANTE.
303
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,123
- OKAY, ONE AT-BAT.
304
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,255
IF I STRIKE YOU OUT,
305
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,759
YOU GOTTA COME CLEAN
TO PRUDENCE.
306
00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,691
- FEELS PRETTY GOOD
TO TRY TO BE THE HERO, HUH?
307
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,158
WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS, HERO?
308
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,765
WHEN YOU LOSE,
YOU GET GONE FOR GOOD
309
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,268
AND LET ME BANG
YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND IN PEACE.
310
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,839
- OH, YEAH?
WELL, YOU'RE GONNA BE--
311
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,798
YOU'RE GONNA BE RESTIN'
IN PIECES WHEN I'M DONE
312
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,367
DOING TO YOU WHAT I--
313
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,314
WHAT I'M GONNA--
WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO YOU.
314
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,410
CAN WE JUST DO THIS?
315
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:18,811
- YEAH. I KNOW A LITTLE PARK
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
316
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,176
- YOU READY?
317
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,413
- UH, I THINK SO.
318
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,948
- DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE.
- OKAY.
319
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:23,883
- YOU DO THOSE STRETCHES?
320
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,217
- WHERE WOULD I
HAVE DONE STRETCHES, DAD,
321
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,352
IN THE CAR?
322
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,356
[grandiose rock music]
323
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:35,029
324
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:37,332
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU LET HIM GET THE CHECK.
325
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,734
- IT'S OKAY.
326
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,937
THINK I'M ABOUT
TO PAY FOR IT NOW.
327
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,806
[hip-hop music]
328
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,105
- BET YOU'RE REGRETTING
THOSE BUFFALO WINGS NOW.
329
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,247
- THEY WERE FOR THE TABLE.
330
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,093
- YEAH.
331
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:03,020
- HEY, UH, WOULD YOU HOLD
MY PHONE FOR ME?
332
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,326
THERE MAY BE SOME TROPHY-RELATED
EMERGENCY CALLS COMING IN.
333
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,529
- SURE.
THIS IS REALLY EXCITING,
334
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,061
BUT ARE YOU OKAY
DOING THIS
335
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,497
WITHOUT YOUR CORRECTIVE CLEATS?
- HA!
336
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,871
- I HAVE THE PUFF
FROM MY COMPACT
337
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,070
IF YOU WANT TO STUFF IT
IN YOUR SHOE.
338
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,171
- I'LL BE FINE.
339
00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,442
OOH!
340
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,169
GIVE ME THE PUFF.
341
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,435
[Dante chuckling]
342
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,072
YOU SERIOUS?
343
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,478
YOU WANNA DO THIS.
344
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:25,279
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON.
345
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,782
- OOH OOH
346
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:30,424
347
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,190
SO OFF WE GO
348
00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:32,949
LET THE TRUMPETS BLOW
349
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,356
- ALL RIGHT, SON,
HERE WE GO.
350
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,188
- TAKE IT LIKE A MAN.
351
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:41,094
352
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,198
- WOW!
353
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,000
I MEAN, THAT IS AMAZING.
354
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,902
I HAVEN'T SEEN
A 30-MILE-AN-HOUR FASTBALL
355
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,474
SINCE I WAS, LIKE, SIX.
356
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,501
- [laughs]
357
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:50,996
- YEAH, WELL,
358
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:52,308
THERE'S PLENTY MORE
WHERE THAT CAME FROM.
359
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,909
- [laughs]
360
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,381
- THAT IS GOOD NEWS.
40 MILES AN HOUR THIS TIME.
361
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,049
- YOU CAN DO IT!
362
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,948
- COME ON.
363
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,250
- ALL RIGHT,
GIVE HIM THE HEAT!
364
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,521
GIVE HIM THE HEAT!
365
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,120
- FORE!
366
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,157
COME ON....
COME ON, COME ON.
367
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,232
- OH...
368
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,201
- OHH!
- HA HA!
369
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,429
- HEY, BABY,
REMIND ME.
370
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,825
I NEED TO SEND A CHECK
TO THAT DUDE
371
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,127
WHOSE WINDOW I JUST BUSTED
IN EL MONTE.
372
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:24,498
- TIME.
373
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,107
- WHAT AM I DOING?
I CAN'T BEAT THIS GUY.
374
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,840
- YOU KNOW WHAT, BUDDY,
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
375
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,576
LOOK WHERE YOU ARE, SAMMY.
376
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,080
YOU'RE NOT
ON THE SIDELINES ANYMORE.
377
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:34,352
YOU'RE OUT HERE
ON THE MOUND!
378
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,881
AND WIN OR LOSE,
379
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:38,146
YOU GOT A TROPHY
WAITING AT HOME FOR YOU
380
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,215
THAT READS "PARTICIPANT."
381
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,863
- THANKS, DAD.
382
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,092
TELL YOU WHAT,
383
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,956
SET ONE ASIDE
THAT SAYS "WINNER."
384
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,055
- THAT-A-BOY.
385
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,456
RIP HIS NUTS OFF.
386
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,209
COME ON.
COME TO PAPA.
387
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,107
- [exhales]
388
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:06,510
[organ plays "Charge!"]
389
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,216
male announcer:
THIS IS DEFINITELY A HITTER
390
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,048
WHO CAPITALIZES
ON MISTAKES.
391
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,293
SO THE PITCHER WILL WANT
TO KEEP THE BALL
392
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,889
AS FAR OUT OF
HIS WHEELHOUSE AS POSSIBLE.
393
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,222
[voice echoing]
ANYWHERE ELSE WILL...
394
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:20,957
[jet engine sound]
395
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,929
- OH, MY GOD!
396
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,104
- [coughing]
397
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,343
I'M GOOD!
- NONSENSE!
398
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,568
YOU'RE GOING
TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.
399
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,102
YOU COULD HAVE
A COLLAPSED LUNG.
400
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,138
- WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
401
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,312
- BABY,
I BARELY TAPPED IT.
402
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,011
HEY, LITTLE MAN,
I'M SORRY.
403
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,483
YOU WANT
ONE OF MY JESUS CHAINS?
404
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,510
- [coughs]
- DANTE!
405
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,075
- A JESUS CHAIN
AND A HUG?
406
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,083
[cell phone chimes]
407
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,224
- OH. SAM?
408
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,320
DON'T FORGET YOUR PHONE.
409
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,151
- THAT'S NOT MINE.
410
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,016
I MUST HAVE
GOTTEN IT CONFUSED.
411
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,215
I THINK IT'S DANTE'S.
412
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:52,186
- "HI, DANTE.
IT'S BETHANY.
413
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,955
"I'M READY
TO BE YOUR M.V.P.,
414
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,034
MOST VALUABLE--"
415
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,662
[gasps]
416
00:14:56,696 --> 00:15:00,196
- DANG, BABY. I MEAN, SOMEBODY
MUST HAVE HACKED DANTE'S PHONE.
417
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,143
- WHO IS BETHANY,
418
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:06,110
AND WHY IS SHE READY
TO BE YOUR M.V...P?
419
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,369
- HEY, BABY, DANTE'S...
420
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,977
- DID YOU GIVE HER
DANTE'S PHONE ON PURPOSE?
421
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,710
- NEVER HURTS
TO HAVE A PLAN "B."
422
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,154
- [laughs]
423
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,110
RIPPED 'EM OFF,
DIDN'T YOU?
424
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,477
- HEY, MY NUMBER'S
ON GOOGLE.
425
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,146
- GOOGLE?
426
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,045
MOST VALUABLE--
427
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,222
- I'M GONNA MISS YOU
AROUND HERE, SAMMY.
428
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,057
NOBODY ASSEMBLES
DOUBLE-COLUMN TROPHIES
429
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,293
QUITE LIKE YOU.
430
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,127
- MONKEYS CAN DO THAT, DAD.
431
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,962
BESIDES,
I'M MOVING UP.
432
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,628
I KNOW THE MAILROOM
AT SPORTS ILLUSTRATED
433
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,325
ISN'T THE WHITE HOUSE,
434
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,137
BUT AT LEAST
I'M IN THE GAME.
435
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,039
[doorbell chimes]
436
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,440
- OH, PRUDENCE.
437
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,214
I PROBABLY SHOULD, UH,
438
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,384
BOX UP THOSE IRREGULAR
SPELLING BEE TROPHIES.
439
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,175
- HOW'S YOUR CHEST DOING?
440
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,387
- OH, UH, IT'S FINE.
441
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:56,159
THESE WERE
MY LEAST FAVORITE RIBS ANYWAY.
442
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:59,159
- DANTE AND I
ARE ALL DONE.
443
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:00,362
- THAT'S SO FUNNY.
444
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,133
DANTE AND I
ARE ALL DONE, TOO.
445
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:07,073
- YOU'RE ALWAYS
LOOKING OUT FOR ME.
446
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,440
THANKS.
447
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,138
- YOU KNOW--YOU KNOW WHAT,
I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU
448
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,271
FOR THE WAKE-UP CALL.
449
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,375
I'VE BEEN MAKING
SOME CHANGES IN MY LIFE,
450
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:18,608
AND I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU
ABOUT THEM OVER COFFEE
451
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:23,115
OR DRINKS OR ANYTHING
BUT DANTE MIST.
452
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,250
- THAT'D BE NICE.
453
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,691
OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
454
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,585
THAT'S THE BALL
THAT STRUCK OUT DANTE EVANS.
455
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,127
- BUT I DIDN'T
STRIKE HIM OUT.
456
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,503
- YEAH.
457
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:39,601
KINDA DID.
458
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,704
I'LL SEE YOU AROUND, SAM
459
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:54,448
- HERE WE GO
WITH HOUSE NUMBER 14.
460
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,121
THE BIG ONE-FOUR.
461
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,679
UNO-QUATRO.
462
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,187
- AT THIS RATE,
WE'RE GONNA BE RENTERS FOREVER.
463
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,060
I THINK WE SHOULD
STOP LOOKING AT HOUSES
464
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:03,389
AND START LOOKING
AT NURSING HOMES.
465
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,823
- NO, FORGET NURSING HOMES.
466
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,087
WHEN WE TURN 60,
WE'RE MOVING TO AFRICA
467
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,297
WHERE THEY WORSHIP
THE ELDERLY.
468
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,328
HELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S JUST GO THERE NOW.
469
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,133
- HEY, WHY SNEAK OFF
TO THE CONGO
470
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,335
WHEN THINGS ARE JUST DANDY
HERE IN THE REPUBLIC OF CHAD?
471
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,738
[chuckles]
472
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,669
OH, THIS NEXT PROPERTY
IS A PEACH.
473
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,810
NOTICE THE EXPOSED BEAMS
IN THE CEILING.
474
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,305
THOSE WERE HAND-HEWN
475
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:30,147
BY A FAMILY
OF RELOCATED AMISH CRAFTSMEN.
476
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,423
- OH, DO YOU SEE THIS BAY WINDOW
OVERLOOKING THE GARDEN?
477
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:35,162
IT'S LIKE A GIANT MOVIE SCREEN
OF NATURE.
478
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,558
- DO YOU SEE THE LAWN
IN THE BACKYARD?
479
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,819
I CAN FINALLY
GET MY LAWNMOWER!
480
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,157
- WHAT?
481
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,662
- AND PAY A NEIGHBOR BOY
TO USE IT!
482
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,503
OHH!
483
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:46,500
- HA HA HA!
THIS IS AMAZING!
484
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,243
I COULD COOK
EGGS BENEDICT HERE.
485
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,638
- I COULD EAT
EGGS BENEDICT HERE.
486
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,439
- ONE COULD COOK OR EAT
EGGS ANYTHING
487
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:54,211
ON THIS STYLISH
CHESTERFORD ISLAND.
488
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,741
AND WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN,
489
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,375
PAPA BEAR CAN UNLEASH
HIS MANHOOD
490
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,251
ALL OVER THE PATIO GRILL.
491
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,481
1,500 SQUARE INCHES
OF FLAME-BROILING NIRVANA.
492
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,517
- NO WAY!
493
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:08,892
- WAY, MY GOOD MAN.
WAY, INDEED.
494
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,261
OH, BOTHER.
495
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,730
- WHAT?
- I KNOW THAT LOOK.
496
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,289
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.
497
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:15,827
YOU'RE UNHAPPY
WITH THE NEIGHBORS.
498
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,232
HEY, YOU KNOW THAT KID
WITH THE RAT TAIL
499
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,374
IS JUST THE GARDENER'S SON.
500
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,528
YOU SAY THE WORD,
501
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,666
AND YOURS TRULY CAN CALL
INMIGRACION.
502
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,301
- WHAT? NO.
503
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:26,106
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN--
504
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:31,141
I THINK I HAD
SEX HERE, ALL RIGHT?
505
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,808
- OH. IS THAT ALL?
506
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,246
WELCOME TO THE CLUB.
507
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,152
RAINY DAY, OPEN HOUSE,
NOBODY CAME,
508
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,745
EXCEPT YOURS CHADLY.
509
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:40,986
- I'M STARTING TO THINK
IT WAS A MISTAKE
510
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:44,260
MEETING YOUR REAL ESTATE AGENT
OUTSIDE OF A GROCERY STORE.
511
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,331
- IT WAS A FARMERS MARKET.
512
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,929
- I SHOULD PROBABLY
TELL JUDD.
513
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,730
- OR YOU COULD WAIT FOR A MORE
APPROPRIATE TIME AND PLACE.
514
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:51,803
- LIKE WHEN?
515
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,271
- HIS FUNERAL.
516
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,940
IT'LL MAKE FOR ONE CRACKER
OF A EULOGY.
517
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,838
RIGHT NOW,
YOU'RE A UNITED FRONT.
518
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:01,240
WHY UNDERCUT HIS ENTHUSIASM
WITH UNNECESSARY FRANKNESS?
519
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,014
[knock at door]
520
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,881
- WE ARE SO BUYING
THIS HOUSE!
521
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,140
[laughs]
522
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,278
- EULOGY, HUH?
523
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,487
- HE DOES HAVE
A HEART ATTACK BODY.
524
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:19,655
- I MIGHT BE GOING
OUT ON A LIMB HERE,
525
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,662
BUT I THINK
THAT HOUSE IS PERFECT.
526
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:22,834
- YEP.
527
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,532
- I ALREADY CAME UP
WITH A NAME FOR IT.
528
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:25,534
ROUSCHER MEADOWS.
529
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,925
HUH? IT WAS LIKE
WHEN I WALKED THROUGH THAT DOOR,
530
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,567
THE WHOLE HOUSE GREETED ME
WITH A HUG,
531
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:30,702
AND I THINK I'M READY
TO HUG BACK.
532
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,537
WITH MONEY.
A MONEY HUG.
533
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,242
LET'S DO IT.
CAN WE DO IT?
534
00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,284
I WANNA DO IT.
535
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,378
- I HAD SEX THERE.
536
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,380
- W-WHO DID?
- I DID...
537
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,852
HAVE SEX...
538
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,550
IN THE HOUSE.
539
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:45,222
- THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
540
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,592
WE'D NEVER BEEN
IN THAT HOUSE BEFORE.
541
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,520
OH.
542
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,586
OH!
543
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,863
- LOOK, IT WAS, LIKE,
A MILLION YEARS AGO, OKAY?
544
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,233
WE HOOKED UP
AFTER A SIMPLE MINDS CONCERT.
545
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,503
IT MEANT NOTHING.
546
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,300
- WHOA! YOU HAD SEX
IN OUR DREAM HOUSE,
547
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,743
AND YOU WENT
TO A SIMPLE MINDS CONCERT?
548
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,769
- THEY OPENED
FOR HOWARD JONES
549
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:05,874
AT THE L.A. COUNTY FAIR.
550
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,105
SHUT UP, OKAY?
551
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:10,279
I HAD A PAST BEFORE YOU PLANTED
YOUR FLAG IN ME, ALL RIGHT?
552
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,540
YOU'RE NOT BUZZ ALDRIN.
553
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,908
- BUZZ ALDRIN WAS
THE SECOND GUY ON THE MOON.
554
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,416
- WELL, YOU'RE
NOT HIM, EITHER.
555
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,388
JUDD, COME ON,
WE LOVE THIS PLACE, ALL RIGHT?
556
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,948
AND WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND
ANOTHER ONE LIKE IT,
557
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,317
SO ONE CRAZY WEEKEND
558
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,985
SHOULDN'T PUT AN END
TO ROUSCHER MEADOWS.
559
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,893
- WEEKEND? WOW!
- OH, CRAP.
560
00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,285
- WHAT KIND OF A WEEKEND
WAS IT?
561
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,527
A LONG WEEKEND,
LIKE A HOLIDAY WEEKEND?
562
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,732
SO NOW YOU'VE RUINED
THE HOUSE
563
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:31,963
AND MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY.
564
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,268
- IT'S JUST
MY LOCKER ROOM STORY, ALL RIGHT?
565
00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:35,671
JUST LIKE THE ONE
THAT YOU TELL
566
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,702
ABOUT HOW YOU APPARENTLY
ALMOST HAD SEX
567
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,037
WITH JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT
IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM.
568
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,612
- WHOA! I DID
ALMOST HAVE SEX
569
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,441
WITH JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT
IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM.
570
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,306
- OKAY, HONEY.
571
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:48,945
LOOK, THIS GUY
HAS A PAGE.
572
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,481
NO, NO, NO,
HE HAS A PARAGRAPH
573
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:51,717
IN THE BOOK OF MY LIFE,
574
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:55,561
BUT YOU...
YOU HAVE CHAPTERS.
575
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,658
ALL RIGHT?
576
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,589
NOW LET'S GO GET THIS HOUSE,
577
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,755
AND LET'S WRITE
A WHOLE BUNCH MORE.
578
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,433
- TSK.
579
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,462
HOWARD JONES?
580
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,966
- I LIKED HIS HAIR
AND HIS BLAZERS.
581
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,297
SO, WE OKAY?
582
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,636
- YES!
- YEAH.
583
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:11,640
- PFF!
- PFF!
584
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:12,871
- [laughs] YES.
585
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,805
- OKAY. OKAY.
586
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,382
- DUDE, YOU GOTTA
DIVORCE HER, MAN.
587
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,310
- YEAH, I AM NOT
DOING THAT.
588
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,376
[cheering]
589
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,383
YEAH!
590
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,775
- OW!
591
00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,546
- [laughs]
- GO!
592
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:26,615
WELL, YOU CAN'T
TAKE THE HOUSE.
593
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:28,023
- DON'T YOU THINK
I KNOW THAT?
594
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:30,564
LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO
BEGRUDGE HER SEXUAL PAST,
595
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,090
BUT I DON'T
WANT TO EAT NEAR IT.
596
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,094
DANTE,
LET'S DO IT, BABY!
597
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,927
WHOO HOO HOO HOO!
598
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,904
I KIND OF HAD DINNER
WITH THAT GUY THE OTHER NIGHT.
599
00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,602
- THE KITCHEN.
- WHAT?
600
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,374
- I BET THAT'S
WHERE IT STARTED.
601
00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:45,103
COLLEEN TOTALLY SEEMS
LIKE THE KIND OF CHICK
602
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,667
YOU JUST KIND OF BREAK HER IN
RIGHT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE.
603
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:48,777
GET HER RIGHT UP THERE...
604
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,778
- OKAY, BOUNDARIES.
605
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:50,909
- IS THERE A MUDROOM?
- YES.
606
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,013
- OKAY, THEY PROBABLY
JUST GOT RIGHT DOWN TO BUSINESS
607
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,745
BEFORE THEY EVEN TOOK
THEIR SHOES OFF.
608
00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,621
- I COULD ACTUALLY PROVIDE YOU
WITH A FLOOR PLAN
609
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,649
SO YOU CAN MORE ACCURATELY
IMAGINE HIM VIOLATING MY WIFE.
610
00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:00,115
- THAT WOULD BE HELPFUL.
- OKAY.
611
00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,722
- BY THE WAY, NOT MY FAULT
THE PLACE IS SEXUALLY HAUNTED.
612
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:03,955
ALL RIGHT? WHY DON'T YOU
JUST BE A MAN ABOUT IT
613
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,060
AND PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN?
614
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:07,761
- YOU ARE SO CLEARLY
NOT MARRIED, IT'S ALMOST CUTE.
615
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:10,704
COLLEEN IS HEAD OVER HEELS
FOR THIS HOUSE, DAN.
616
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:12,500
SHE'S ACTUALLY SET UP
ANOTHER PRIVATE VIEWING
617
00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,102
FOR LATER ON TODAY.
618
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,803
THERE'S NOTHING ELSE
THAT I CAN DO ABOUT IT.
619
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,365
- OH HO.
OH, NO, THERE IS ONE THING.
620
00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,244
- WHAT?
621
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:19,910
- IF YOU WISH TO SLEEP
UNDER THE ROOF
622
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,769
WHERE THE UNSPEAKABLE DEED
TOOK PLACE,
623
00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:24,038
YOU MUST BANG
THE DEMONS AWAY.
624
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,076
- OH, YOU MEAN, LIKE...
625
00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:28,112
- A SEXORCISM.
626
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:31,079
- HUH?
- THANK YOU.
627
00:22:31,117 --> 00:22:33,717
- RIGHT?
- THANK YOU, POTHEAD,
628
00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:35,523
FOR ANOTHER
COMPLETELY UNHELPFUL SUGGESTION.
629
00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:36,985
- WHAT? NO.
NO, NO, NO, MAN.
630
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:40,033
YOU JUST--YOU REPLACE
HER CRAZY MUDROOM SEX...
631
00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:41,129
- I GET IT.
632
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,960
- WITH YOUR OWN
MUDROOM SEX, MAN.
633
00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:44,395
THAT'S IT.
BOOM, IT'S DONE.
634
00:22:44,431 --> 00:22:45,771
SEXUAL HAUNTING FINITO.
- RIGHT.
635
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,528
- IT MAKES
PERFECT SENSE TO ME.
636
00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:49,567
[applause]
637
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:50,642
- OR I COULD BE
A SOBER ADULT.
638
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:55,612
I COULD DO TO COLLEEN
EXACTLY WHAT SHE DOES TO ME
639
00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:57,542
EVERY TIME SHE WANTS
TO PISS ON MY PARADE.
640
00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,047
I COULD UNDERCUT
AND NITPICK.
641
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:01,478
I COULD FIND FAULT
IN EVERY ROOM IN THAT HOUSE.
642
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:02,854
- I LIKE MY IDEA BETTER.
643
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,122
- BOOYAH!
- THERE.
644
00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:07,991
- AS YOU REMEMBER,
THE REAR GARDEN
645
00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:10,020
IS LINED WITH BOTH
DWARF KOREAN LILACS
646
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:11,856
AND HANGING BOUGAINVILLEAS
647
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,691
TO AFFORD
THE UTMOST OF PRIVACY.
648
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,556
- YEAH, WELL,
IF YOU ASK ME,
649
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:17,504
YOUR DRAINAGE
IS 15% TO 18% OFF GRADE.
650
00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:19,530
- I HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH YOUR NUMBERS.
651
00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,796
- WELL, I GOT
A PROBLEM WITH YOUR NUMBERS.
652
00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:25,070
UH...
653
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,514
OH! BINGO.
654
00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:28,039
RODENT DROPPING.
655
00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:29,884
- UH, ACTUALLY, I BELIEVE
656
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,579
THAT'S THE HEAD
OF A WOOD SCREW.
657
00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:32,581
- UH...
658
00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:33,412
- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
659
00:23:33,446 --> 00:23:36,476
WOULD YOU EXCUSE US
FOR A SECOND?
660
00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:38,116
- WHAT?
661
00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,150
- OKAY, YOU ARE
OBVIOUSLY STILL UPSET.
662
00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:42,016
- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
663
00:23:42,054 --> 00:23:43,164
- THEN WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
LIKE A GHOSTBUSTER?
664
00:23:43,189 --> 00:23:45,119
- I JUST DON'T WANT US
TO SINK OUR HARD-EARNED SAVINGS
665
00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:46,657
INTO A MONEY PIT.
666
00:23:46,693 --> 00:23:48,503
- SO YOU'RE JUST BEING
FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE
667
00:23:48,528 --> 00:23:49,798
AND NOTHING ELSE
IS BOTHERING YOU?
668
00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:51,859
- WILL YOU PLEASE
LET ME DO MY WORK?
669
00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:57,036
[horror movie music]
670
00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:58,199
671
00:23:58,237 --> 00:24:00,607
[zipper sound]
[Colleen giggling]
672
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,140
- IS THAT ALL FOR ME?
673
00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:04,184
[giggling]
674
00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,054
[horror movie music]
[Colleen giggling]
675
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:17,186
I AM SO GLAD TOMORROW'S
MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY.
676
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,693
[giggling]
677
00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:24,195
678
00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:26,070
[giggling,
dance music playing]
679
00:24:26,098 --> 00:24:27,198
OUCH!
680
00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:29,203
THAT'S HOT.
681
00:24:29,235 --> 00:24:32,235
WAIT.
WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?
682
00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,571
- IT'S FRICKIN' EVERYWHERE!
683
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,577
- WHAT? WHAT IS?
684
00:24:36,609 --> 00:24:37,809
- THE GHOST OF YOUR SLUTTERY.
685
00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:40,584
- WHOA!
THAT IS NOT COOL.
686
00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:41,613
AND THAT IS NOT A WORD.
687
00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:43,578
- OKAY,
LET'S DIAL IT DOWN.
688
00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:47,116
WE'VE ALL HAD SEX
IN MANY, MANY PLACES,
689
00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:50,293
BUT LET'S NOT ALLOW
ONE TRAMP'S SORDID INDISCRETION
690
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,632
GET IN THE WAY
OF ALL-TIME-LOW MORTGAGE RATES.
691
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:53,929
- WOW, YOU TOLD HIM.
692
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,600
- IT JUST SLIPPED OUT,
OKAY?
693
00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:56,628
I AM A GOOD PERSON!
694
00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:57,863
- [laughs]
- OKAY!
695
00:24:57,897 --> 00:25:00,927
IT'S TIME TO PULL OUT
THE BIG GUNS.
696
00:25:00,967 --> 00:25:03,237
THERE'S ONE ROOM
I HAVEN'T SHOWN YOU.
697
00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:08,978
- [gasps]
698
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,778
SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!
699
00:25:10,810 --> 00:25:13,650
- WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW US
THIS ROOM BEFORE?
700
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:14,510
- I HONESTLY DIDN'T THINK
701
00:25:14,547 --> 00:25:16,217
YOU WERE GONNA
QUALIFY FOR THE LOAN,
702
00:25:16,248 --> 00:25:17,548
SO KUDOS.
703
00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:20,324
- THIS COULD BE
MY ROCK ROOM, COLLEEN.
704
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,692
I MEAN, THIS--
705
00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:23,221
I COULD DO
MY MIX SAMPLES IN HERE.
706
00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:25,185
I COULD ROCK OUT
ON THE DRUMS.
707
00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:26,234
- I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE.
708
00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:27,028
- MY PLAYS! COLLEEN,
709
00:25:27,059 --> 00:25:27,889
I COULD FINISH WRITING
MY PLAYS.
710
00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:30,197
[door closes]
- OH, IT WOULD BE NICE
711
00:25:30,229 --> 00:25:32,059
TO PUT FRAIL WINTER
ON ITS FEET.
712
00:25:32,098 --> 00:25:33,628
- LOOK, I'M SKEEVED OUT.
713
00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:35,196
THAT MUCH WE KNOW.
714
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:37,274
BUT I REALLY LOVE
THIS HOUSE,
715
00:25:37,303 --> 00:25:39,043
AND I WOULD LOVE
TO MAKE THIS OUR HOME.
716
00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:41,571
- I KNOW. I AM SO GLAD
YOU'RE COMING AROUND ON THIS,
717
00:25:41,608 --> 00:25:43,178
BECAUSE IT REALLY
WAS NO BIG DEAL.
718
00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,179
- GREAT.
TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS.
719
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:45,710
- WHAT?
720
00:25:45,745 --> 00:25:47,305
- COME ON, WE GOTTA
SEXORCISE THIS HOUSE, COLLEEN,
721
00:25:47,346 --> 00:25:48,276
AND WE'RE ON THE CLOCK.
722
00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:49,884
- JUDD, YOU'RE SCARING ME.
723
00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:51,646
- NO! WE GOTTA PURGE
THE SEXUAL GHOSTS
724
00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:53,354
WITH A NEW MEMORY,
BANG THE DEMONS AWAY.
725
00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,715
- BANG THE DEMONS AWAY?
THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT?
726
00:25:55,755 --> 00:25:57,755
- YOU HAD CRAZY SEX
WITH THIS GUY, RIGHT?
727
00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:59,060
NOW YOU GOTTA HAVE
CRAZIER SEX WITH ME.
728
00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:01,161
LET'S WRITE A NEW CHAPTER
IN THIS HOUSE--
729
00:26:01,193 --> 00:26:03,363
A DIRTY ONE.
730
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,665
- OKAY, LET'S GO.
731
00:26:05,698 --> 00:26:07,268
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT WORKED.
732
00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:08,899
Chad: ME, EITHER.
733
00:26:08,935 --> 00:26:10,295
- GET AWAY
FROM THE DOOR, CHAD.
734
00:26:10,336 --> 00:26:12,666
- LEAVING!
- I WANT SOME OF THAT
735
00:26:15,675 --> 00:26:17,205
- HOO HOO HOO!
- THAT WAS GOOD, RIGHT?
736
00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:19,053
- [laughs] I AIN'T AFRAID
OF NO GHOSTS.
737
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,608
- HEY, IF YOU TWO HAVE
ANY ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS,
738
00:26:21,648 --> 00:26:23,048
DARYL, THE OWNER,
JUST DROPPED BY.
739
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:24,322
- OH.
- OH.
740
00:26:24,350 --> 00:26:27,220
UM, ARE YOU OKAY?
741
00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:28,623
- YEAH, I'M COOL.
742
00:26:28,655 --> 00:26:30,055
I JUST MARKED
MY TERRITORY.
743
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,889
DO I LOOK OKAY?
744
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:34,264
- YEAH, YOU HAVE SEX HAIR.
- SEX HAIR'S PERFECT.
745
00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:35,933
HEY!
HEY, BUDDY, GREAT HOUSE.
746
00:26:35,962 --> 00:26:38,232
- YEAH.
HAD SOME GOOD TIMES HERE.
747
00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:42,374
- OKAY, SO WE'RE THERE.
748
00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:44,741
HI, DARYL. [laughs]
THIS IS AWKWARD, HUH?
749
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:47,771
- WELL, SURE. I MEAN, NO ONE
SHOULD HAVE TO SELL THEIR HOUSE.
750
00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:49,407
HEY, THEY CAN BLAME OBAMA,
751
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,711
BUT IT STARTED
WITH BUSH, RIGHT?
752
00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:52,183
- [laughs]
753
00:26:52,211 --> 00:26:54,011
- REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU.
754
00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,306
- NO, IT'S COLLEEN.
755
00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:58,047
- IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU,
COLLEEN.
756
00:26:58,084 --> 00:26:59,794
- WOW.
757
00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:03,419
OKAY...WOW.
758
00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,725
UM...CHAD?
759
00:27:05,758 --> 00:27:08,388
CAN YOU SHOW ME
THAT DRAINAGE PIPE THING?
760
00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:09,857
- I'VE ALREADY
SHOWED YOU THAT--
761
00:27:09,896 --> 00:27:11,026
- SHUT UP, CHAD.
762
00:27:13,399 --> 00:27:15,399
- DARYL?
- HMM?
763
00:27:15,434 --> 00:27:19,244
- UM, LOOK, UH...
764
00:27:19,271 --> 00:27:20,341
HEH HEH.
- WHAT?
765
00:27:20,372 --> 00:27:23,342
- I, UH...
I GOT A FAVOR TO ASK.
766
00:27:23,375 --> 00:27:24,435
IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD,
767
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,776
UH, BUT, UH...
768
00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:30,123
LOOK, APPARENTLY,
A FEW YEARS AGO,
769
00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:32,349
YOU HAD SEX
WITH THE MISSUS.
770
00:27:32,384 --> 00:27:33,894
- WHAT?
771
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,450
- YEAH.
- UH, NO.
772
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,957
- YEAH.
- I DON'T THINK SO.
773
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,189
OR...
774
00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:42,834
OH, LOOK, IF YOU GUYS ARE INTO
SOME WEIRD SWINGERS THING--
775
00:27:42,862 --> 00:27:43,902
- NO, NO, NO.
776
00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:45,060
AND WE COULD DO
A LOT BETTER, SO...
777
00:27:45,097 --> 00:27:49,337
UM, BUT YOUR PATIO
IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.
778
00:27:49,368 --> 00:27:51,938
THE BARBE--UH...
779
00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:53,941
LOOK, MAN,
YOU HAD SEX WITH MY WIFE.
780
00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:55,343
YOU DID.
THINK ABOUT IT.
781
00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:56,844
LATE '90s.
782
00:27:56,876 --> 00:27:59,206
YOU, UH...YOU MET HER
AT A SIMPLE MINDS CONCERT.
783
00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:00,745
YOU REMEMBER
SIMPLE MINDS, HUH?
784
00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:04,050
DON'T YOU
FORGET ABOUT ME
785
00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:05,893
I'LL BE ALONE
786
00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:07,818
SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN'
787
00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:09,164
MOLLY RINGWALD
788
00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:11,458
both: HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY
789
00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:13,860
OOH OOH-OOH OOH
790
00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:15,493
WHOA
791
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,297
- YEAH, I REMEMBER.
792
00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:18,329
- MY WIFE?
793
00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:20,204
- NO, THE SONG.
794
00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:22,502
- UH, REALLY?
795
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,474
OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH.
796
00:28:24,503 --> 00:28:28,143
UM, OKAY, LOOK,
I LOVE MY WIFE.
797
00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:29,884
I THINK
SHE'S UNFORGETTABLE,
798
00:28:29,909 --> 00:28:32,749
AND BECAUSE I ALWAYS
WANT TO MAKE HER FEEL THAT WAY,
799
00:28:32,779 --> 00:28:34,379
AND I'M GUESSING, UH,
800
00:28:34,413 --> 00:28:37,383
YOU'RE PROBABLY LOOKING
FOR FULL ASKING PRICE?
801
00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:38,916
I GOT A LITTLE, UH...
802
00:28:38,951 --> 00:28:40,351
I GOT A LITTLE PROPOSITION
FOR YOU.
803
00:28:42,421 --> 00:28:45,021
OH, THAT'S IT.
JUST LAY IT ON THICK.
804
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,487
DIDN'T WANT
TO SAY ANYTHING BEFORE.
805
00:28:46,525 --> 00:28:47,525
IT WAS TOO AWKWARD.
806
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,299
SIMPLE MINDS.
807
00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:50,958
YOU'RE THE ONE
THAT GOT AWAY.
808
00:28:50,997 --> 00:28:53,227
OH, NO, DON'T GO
FOR THE HUG.
809
00:28:53,265 --> 00:28:54,465
OH! HE WENT IN FOR THE HUG.
810
00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:56,340
- AND SCENE.
811
00:28:56,368 --> 00:28:58,468
- GET OUT, CHAD.
- OKAY.
812
00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:04,514
- WELL, SAY GOOD-BYE
TO ROUSCHER MEADOWS.
813
00:29:04,543 --> 00:29:06,313
- WHY?
814
00:29:06,345 --> 00:29:07,505
- IT'S JUST TOO AWKWARD
815
00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,816
WITH THE SEX
AND HIM NOT REMEMBERING IT.
816
00:29:09,849 --> 00:29:11,979
I KNOW YOU PUT HIM
UP TO IT, ALL RIGHT?
817
00:29:12,018 --> 00:29:14,318
HIS PERFORMANCE WAS STIFF
AND REHEARSED.
818
00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:15,393
AND YOU KNOW,
SOMETHING HE SAID
819
00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,361
SOUNDED VAGUELY FAMILIAR.
820
00:29:17,389 --> 00:29:20,859
"THE MEMORY
OF OUR TORRID AFFAIR
821
00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:22,563
HAS TURNED MY WINTER HEART
TO SUMMER."
822
00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,904
THAT'S THE LINE
FROM YOUR PLAY, JUDD.
823
00:29:24,931 --> 00:29:26,971
- IT'S ALSO A BEAUTIFULLY
CRAFTED THOUGHT, COLLEEN.
824
00:29:26,999 --> 00:29:28,369
- [laughs]
825
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,170
THANKS FOR BEING
SUCH AN EASY MAN TO LOVE.
826
00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:33,273
- YEAH, WELL, THANK YOU
FOR LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH.
827
00:29:33,305 --> 00:29:34,435
- [laughing]
828
00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:38,378
- I'LL MISS YOU
ROUSCHER MEADOWS!
829
00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:40,450
- OH HO HO, NO,
WE'LL BE BACK.
830
00:29:40,479 --> 00:29:42,819
MIDNIGHT TONIGHT,
831
00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:44,449
WE ARE EGGING
THIS BASTARD'S HOUSE.
832
00:29:44,483 --> 00:29:45,553
- OH, HO HO.
833
00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:47,454
I LIKE IT.
834
00:29:49,221 --> 00:29:52,161
[upbeat piano]
835
00:29:52,191 --> 00:29:57,361
836
00:29:57,396 --> 00:29:59,366
- THESE HAVE BEEN
THE HAPPIEST SIX DAYS,
837
00:29:59,398 --> 00:30:00,868
FIVE NIGHTS
OF MY LIFE.
838
00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:03,500
- SI, JULIA.
IT'S VERY SAD.
839
00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:05,135
I MISS.
840
00:30:05,171 --> 00:30:06,471
- I MISS, TOO.
841
00:30:06,505 --> 00:30:08,605
HOW AM I GONNA GO BACK
TO WICHITA AFTER THIS?
842
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,410
- IF YOU LIVE
IN THIS WICHITA,
843
00:30:10,442 --> 00:30:11,412
IT MUST BE HEAVEN.
844
00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:13,853
- WE DO HAVE
A TAQUITO HEAVEN.
845
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,310
THEIR SALSA VERDE
GOT THREE SOMBREROS
846
00:30:15,347 --> 00:30:16,517
IN THE LOCAL PAPER.
847
00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:18,318
I WISH
I COULD SHOW IT TO YOU.
848
00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:19,590
- SHH.
849
00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:23,258
NOT TO SPEAK.
850
00:30:23,289 --> 00:30:26,089
SAY "PRUNES," HMM?
851
00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,155
ALL THE SUPERMODELS
SAY "PRUNES."
852
00:30:28,194 --> 00:30:30,404
- PRUNES.
853
00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:35,965
- MY CAMERA WAS STOLEN
RIGHT AFTER WE TOOK IT.
854
00:30:36,002 --> 00:30:37,872
THANK GOD
I'D DOWNLOADED THE PHOTOS.
855
00:30:37,904 --> 00:30:40,374
DARN, JULIA,
YOU GO TO RIO AND FALL IN LOVE.
856
00:30:40,406 --> 00:30:42,166
ALL I GET'S
A MONTHLY HUG AND TUG
857
00:30:42,208 --> 00:30:44,008
FROM THE MEAT GUY
AT THE SUPER SHOP.
858
00:30:44,043 --> 00:30:45,443
JUST SHOWS TO GO YA.
859
00:30:45,477 --> 00:30:46,907
- WILL YOU TWO HENS
STOP CLUCKING?
860
00:30:46,946 --> 00:30:48,076
GO BACK TO THE PART
861
00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:49,454
WHERE MARCELO CHANGED
ON THE STREET
862
00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:50,651
INTO HIS BATHING SUIT.
863
00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:51,652
- NO, THAT WAS ME.
864
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,923
- OH. WELL, HE MUST HAVE
CHANGED AT SOME POINT.
865
00:30:53,953 --> 00:30:55,493
- I WISH I HAD
YOUR BALLS, JULIA.
866
00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:57,321
YOU JUST DO THINGS.
867
00:30:57,356 --> 00:31:00,456
- WELL, MY FATHER ALWAYS SAID,
"DO THINGS, JULIA."
868
00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:02,392
- SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT MAN.
869
00:31:02,428 --> 00:31:05,258
SO, DO YOU THINK YOU'LL
SEE MARCELO AGAIN?
870
00:31:05,297 --> 00:31:07,327
- WELL, I'VE GOT
ANOTHER VACATION IN 11 MONTHS,
871
00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:09,336
AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE
I'M GONNA BE READY.
872
00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:11,068
- I CAN'T WAIT
FOR THE SEQUEL.
873
00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:12,473
- WELL, I MIGHT AS WELL.
874
00:31:12,504 --> 00:31:14,644
I'LL JUST WASTE IT
ON SCRATCH TICKETS AND INSULIN.
875
00:31:14,673 --> 00:31:17,513
- GOT SOME SAD NEWS,
PEOPLE.
876
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,653
NANCY GOT
INTO A BOATING ACCIDENT.
877
00:31:19,678 --> 00:31:22,408
- WAIT, BLONDE NANCY
OR BLACK NANCY?
878
00:31:22,448 --> 00:31:24,348
- BLACK NANCY.
- OHH!
879
00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:26,053
- NOT SURE
SHE'LL BE COMING BACK.
880
00:31:26,085 --> 00:31:29,455
NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE'LL BE
PASSING AROUND A CARD LATER.
881
00:31:29,488 --> 00:31:34,958
DENNIS, LET'S TRY AND KEEP
OUR REMARKS PG.
882
00:31:34,994 --> 00:31:37,604
- JEEZ. YOU DRAW
ONE WINKING PENIS
883
00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:40,129
ON A BIRTHDAY CAKE.
884
00:31:40,166 --> 00:31:41,396
- I WONDER WHO'LL GET
HER CORNER CUBICLE.
885
00:31:41,433 --> 00:31:42,633
- KAREN, IT'S TOO SOON.
886
00:31:42,668 --> 00:31:44,598
BESIDES, YOU DON'T JUST GET
THE CORNER CUBE.
887
00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:46,206
YOU HAVE TO EARN IT.
888
00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:49,008
NANCY LED THE "PAPERLESS CHARGE"
BACK IN '06.
889
00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:51,611
SHE WORKED 12 YEARS WITHOUT
TAKING A SINGLE SICK DAY.
890
00:31:51,643 --> 00:31:54,453
- UNTIL THE BOATING ACCIDENT.
891
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,220
MAYBE IT'S TIME
FOR YOU TO UNVEIL
892
00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:57,978
THAT BIG IDEA
OF YOURS, JULIA.
893
00:31:58,017 --> 00:31:59,047
- WHAT IDEA?
894
00:31:59,085 --> 00:32:00,445
NOBODY TOLD ME
ABOUT ANY IDEA.
895
00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:02,086
AM I BEING FIRED?
896
00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,491
- NO, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
897
00:32:03,522 --> 00:32:05,562
IT'S JUST SOMETHING TO
COUNTERACT THE BAD PRESS WE GOT
898
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:08,261
AFTER THE HUFFING INCIDENT
AT WITZEL JUNIOR HIGH.
899
00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:10,464
MAYBE IF IT COMES UP,
I'LL MENTION IT.
900
00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:12,596
- HEY, FORWARD ME
SOME OF THOSE PHOTOS.
901
00:32:12,631 --> 00:32:14,571
THE WIFE AND I
ARE DUE FOR A VACATION,
902
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,270
AND I'D LOVE TO SPEND
SOME TIME IN MARCELO.
903
00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:19,513
I MEAN, RIO...
WHERE I WOULD BRING VIVIAN
904
00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:23,978
FOR PURPOSES OF SEX
IN HER VAGINA.
905
00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:26,610
[Mozella's Gonna Getcha]
906
00:32:26,645 --> 00:32:30,215
YOU COME WITH THAT LOOK
IN YOUR EYES
907
00:32:30,249 --> 00:32:33,219
UH, UH,
I'M GONNA GETCHA
908
00:32:33,252 --> 00:32:35,422
UH, MMM, OH
909
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,394
I'M GONNA GETCHA
910
00:32:37,423 --> 00:32:41,093
MM MM MM MM MM
911
00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:42,127
- JULIA!
912
00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:44,201
- OH, MARCELO.
913
00:32:44,230 --> 00:32:46,200
- JULIA!
914
00:32:46,232 --> 00:32:47,372
- MARCELO?
915
00:32:47,399 --> 00:32:49,439
- JULIA!
916
00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:54,040
JULIA!
917
00:32:54,073 --> 00:32:56,213
ESPLENDIDO WICHITA!
918
00:32:56,242 --> 00:32:59,352
[Brazilian Carnival music]
919
00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:03,420
- MARCELO, HOW DID YOU--
WHAT DO YOU--
920
00:33:03,449 --> 00:33:05,519
- SHH. NOT TO SPEAK.
921
00:33:05,551 --> 00:33:07,521
I MUST BE WITH YOU NOW.
922
00:33:07,553 --> 00:33:09,523
- I'LL BUZZ YOU IN.
- HUH?
923
00:33:09,555 --> 00:33:11,715
- BUZZ?
YOU KNOW, BUZZ?
924
00:33:11,757 --> 00:33:13,127
- WHO'S BUZZ?
925
00:33:13,159 --> 00:33:15,029
A BOYFRIEND?
I WILL KILL HIM!
926
00:33:15,061 --> 00:33:16,731
- NEVER MIND.
I'LL COME AND GET YOU.
927
00:33:16,762 --> 00:33:19,572
[Chica Chica Boom Chic]
928
00:33:19,598 --> 00:33:22,168
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DID THIS.
929
00:33:22,201 --> 00:33:23,371
- WHY NOT?
930
00:33:23,402 --> 00:33:24,542
I HAD MILE POINTS.
931
00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:26,070
AND I HAD TO SEE YOU.
932
00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:32,535
933
00:33:32,578 --> 00:33:34,748
- WHAT DID I DO
TO DESERVE THIS?
934
00:33:34,780 --> 00:33:37,080
- YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING.
935
00:33:37,116 --> 00:33:39,786
I CARE FOR YOU, JULIA.
936
00:33:39,818 --> 00:33:42,088
I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
937
00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:43,561
- I CARE ABOUT YOU, TOO.
938
00:33:43,589 --> 00:33:49,429
939
00:33:49,461 --> 00:33:50,601
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
940
00:33:50,629 --> 00:33:52,559
- TO MAKE YOU DINNER.
941
00:33:52,598 --> 00:33:54,628
- OH.
942
00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:56,266
BUT IT'S MIDNIGHT.
943
00:33:56,302 --> 00:33:58,442
- SHH.
944
00:33:58,470 --> 00:34:00,410
- NOT TO SPEAK, RIGHT?
945
00:34:00,439 --> 00:34:08,449
946
00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:12,352
OH, NO. YOUR SHIRT.
947
00:34:15,321 --> 00:34:17,091
I SEE NO SHIRT.
948
00:34:17,123 --> 00:34:25,133
949
00:34:30,436 --> 00:34:32,536
[timer dings]
950
00:34:33,539 --> 00:34:35,309
DINNER IS SERVED.
951
00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,418
- YOU SMELL
LIKE SEX AND BOOZE.
952
00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:45,780
- THAT'S BECAUSE
WE HAD WINE WITH DINNER
953
00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:47,347
AN HOUR AGO.
954
00:34:47,386 --> 00:34:48,786
I BARELY GOT ANY SLEEP.
955
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:50,420
YOU WANT TO HEAR
HOW HE WOKE ME UP?
956
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:51,686
- YEAH.
[cell phone rings]
957
00:34:51,723 --> 00:34:54,463
- OH, VIVIAN,
THIS IS A BAD TIME.
958
00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:56,163
NAG.
959
00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:58,225
LIKE SHE'S THE FIRST PERSON
TO HAVE A BIOPSY.
960
00:34:58,264 --> 00:35:00,504
ANYWAY, BACK TO MARCELO
BEING NAKED.
961
00:35:00,532 --> 00:35:04,272
- JULIA, KAREN TELLS ME YOU HAD
A GEM OF A MARKETING IDEA.
962
00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:05,803
- OH, YES, SURE.
963
00:35:05,837 --> 00:35:08,467
WELL, IT'S TO COUNTER
THE BAD PRESS WE GOT
964
00:35:08,507 --> 00:35:09,707
FROM THE WITZEL HUFFING
INCIDENT,
965
00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:11,741
TO MAKE THE STUDENTS
NOT WANT TO HUFF THEM.
966
00:35:11,777 --> 00:35:13,407
"UNHUFFABLES,"
IF YOU WILL.
967
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:14,775
- "UNHUFFABLES."
968
00:35:14,813 --> 00:35:17,553
WELL, IT'S FUN TO SAY.
969
00:35:17,583 --> 00:35:18,683
I'D LIKE TO HEAR
MORE ABOUT IT.
970
00:35:18,717 --> 00:35:19,917
WE'LL SEE IF THERE'S
EXTRA TIME
971
00:35:19,951 --> 00:35:21,491
IN THIS AFTERNOON'S
MEETING.
972
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,390
[cheerful Latin
guitar music]
973
00:35:23,422 --> 00:35:25,492
- YOU'VE GOT
A GREAT SEX LIFE,
974
00:35:25,524 --> 00:35:27,464
A GOOD IDEA,
AND THE BOSS'S EAR.
975
00:35:27,493 --> 00:35:29,533
OH, I SMELL
THE CORNER CUBICLE.
976
00:35:29,561 --> 00:35:31,431
AND A LITTLE WINE STILL.
977
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,433
I'LL GET YOU
MY TOOTHBRUSH.
978
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:35,565
SOMETIMES
I SLEEP HERE.
979
00:35:35,601 --> 00:35:37,301
THERE'S NO REASON
TO GO HOME.
980
00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:42,509
[strumming]
981
00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,911
HEY HEY HEY HEY
982
00:35:44,943 --> 00:35:46,453
983
00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:51,578
OOH OOH OOH
OH OH OH
984
00:35:52,518 --> 00:35:53,888
- MARCELO,
WHAT ARE YOU...
985
00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:55,349
- MOMENTO.
986
00:35:55,387 --> 00:35:58,557
[playing guitar]
987
00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:01,960
[singing Don't You (Forget
About Me) in Portuguese]
988
00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:10,903
989
00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:14,236
NOW NOW NOW NOW
990
00:36:15,541 --> 00:36:17,481
- I WANT TO KILL MYSELF.
991
00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:18,939
- I WANT TO KILL VIVIAN.
992
00:36:18,977 --> 00:36:21,207
- MARCELO, HOW DID YOU
GET PAST SECURITY?
993
00:36:21,247 --> 00:36:22,907
THEY'VE BEEN REALLY STRICT
SINCE THE SHOOTING.
994
00:36:22,948 --> 00:36:25,478
- WELL, YOU CANNOT DENY
A MAN ENTRANCE
995
00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:27,787
WITH SUCH LOVE
IN HIS HEART.
996
00:36:27,819 --> 00:36:29,389
COME WITH ME.
997
00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:31,261
I WANT TO DIE INSIDE YOU
PRESENTLY.
998
00:36:31,290 --> 00:36:33,530
- OH, MY.
999
00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:34,859
WELL, THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL,
BUT I CAN'T--
1000
00:36:34,893 --> 00:36:35,863
I CAN'T REALLY LEAVE.
1001
00:36:35,894 --> 00:36:37,834
- WELL, I THINK YOU CAN.
1002
00:36:37,863 --> 00:36:39,873
- NO, YOU SEE,
THERE'S THIS MEETING,
1003
00:36:39,898 --> 00:36:41,998
AND I TOLD MY BOSS--
1004
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,403
DO YOU KNOW
THE WORD "CUBICLE"?
1005
00:36:43,435 --> 00:36:47,665
- WHATEVER IT IS,
I WILL EAT IT OFF YOU.
1006
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,606
- OH, FOR GOD SAKES,
JULIA.
1007
00:36:49,641 --> 00:36:51,641
- [whispering] GO WITH HIM,
YOU DUMB BITCH.
1008
00:36:51,677 --> 00:36:54,347
- AW, SCREW THE MEETING.
1009
00:36:54,380 --> 00:36:57,350
[Flamenco music]
1010
00:36:57,383 --> 00:36:58,553
1011
00:36:58,584 --> 00:37:00,894
[moaning]
1012
00:37:02,421 --> 00:37:04,621
OH. OH, GOD.
1013
00:37:04,656 --> 00:37:07,356
I FEEL A LITTLE BAD
ABOUT MISSING THE MEETING.
1014
00:37:07,393 --> 00:37:08,463
- SHH.
1015
00:37:08,494 --> 00:37:10,534
- OKAY, SORRY.
1016
00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:12,462
- MARCELO BE BACK SOON.
1017
00:37:12,498 --> 00:37:13,528
- OKAY.
1018
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,625
[breathing heavily]
1019
00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:18,567
OKAY, TAKE YOUR TIME.
1020
00:37:18,604 --> 00:37:21,414
[cell phone chimes]
- YOUR THIGHS ARE MY CHURCH.
1021
00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:29,448
- ESPLENDIDO WICHITA.
1022
00:37:29,481 --> 00:37:30,581
- SI, SI.
1023
00:37:30,616 --> 00:37:32,546
BRAVO, MARCELO.
1024
00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:37,464
[chimes]
1025
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:41,325
OH!
1026
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:42,460
- YEE-HEE!
1027
00:37:42,494 --> 00:37:43,504
- YOU LIKE?
1028
00:37:43,529 --> 00:37:45,729
- OOH, VERY, VERY MUCH.
1029
00:37:49,735 --> 00:37:50,865
- YOU WERE WORKING?
1030
00:37:50,902 --> 00:37:52,442
- NO.
1031
00:37:52,471 --> 00:37:53,441
MAYBE A LITTLE.
1032
00:37:53,472 --> 00:37:55,812
- BECAUSE I WAS WORKING
VERY HARD.
1033
00:37:55,841 --> 00:37:56,911
- OOH.
1034
00:37:56,942 --> 00:37:59,352
- THIS IS DISCOURAGING.
1035
00:37:59,378 --> 00:38:02,708
- I'M SORRY. I'M JUST
A LITTLE STRESSED ABOUT WORK.
1036
00:38:02,748 --> 00:38:04,418
- IN BRAZIL, IT'S SIMPLE.
1037
00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:05,620
WHEN YOU WORK, YOU WORK.
1038
00:38:05,651 --> 00:38:07,421
WHEN YOU SEX, YOU SEX.
1039
00:38:07,453 --> 00:38:08,293
- OH, MMM.
1040
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,920
YES, BUT A CUBICLE
BECAME AVAILABLE,
1041
00:38:10,956 --> 00:38:13,386
AND I'M A LITTLE WORRIED.
1042
00:38:13,425 --> 00:38:14,385
- CUBICLE?
1043
00:38:14,426 --> 00:38:15,756
THAT'S WHAT
YOU WORRY ABOUT?
1044
00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:18,504
THE JULIA I MET IN RIO
HAD NO STRESS.
1045
00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:19,970
SHE WAS HAPPY.
1046
00:38:19,998 --> 00:38:21,668
- YES, HAPPIER
THAN I'VE EVER BEEN.
1047
00:38:21,700 --> 00:38:23,540
BUT THAT WASN'T REAL JULIA.
1048
00:38:23,569 --> 00:38:25,469
THAT WAS VACATION JULIA.
1049
00:38:25,504 --> 00:38:26,474
- ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
1050
00:38:26,505 --> 00:38:28,605
- YES, WITH YOU,
1051
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,540
BUT I NEED TO WORK,
AND IT'S HARD.
1052
00:38:30,576 --> 00:38:32,476
I DON'T KNOW
HOW IT IS IN BRAZIL,
1053
00:38:32,511 --> 00:38:36,451
BUT THE DRY-ERASE MARKET HERE
IS VERY COMPETITIVE.
1054
00:38:36,482 --> 00:38:38,352
OOH.
1055
00:38:38,384 --> 00:38:39,554
- KNOW WHAT I THINK?
- WHAT?
1056
00:38:39,585 --> 00:38:41,115
- I THINK VACATION JULIA
1057
00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,462
IS THE REAL JULIA.
1058
00:38:44,590 --> 00:38:46,060
OOH!
1059
00:38:46,091 --> 00:38:48,431
- OH, MY GOD,
YOU'RE MOVING TO BRAZIL!
1060
00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:50,600
- YES, HE ASKED ME
TO GO TO BRAZIL,
1061
00:38:50,629 --> 00:38:51,499
BUT I CAN'T, CAN I?
1062
00:38:51,530 --> 00:38:53,530
- YES. YES, YOU CAN.
1063
00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:55,095
DO IT!
1064
00:38:55,133 --> 00:38:56,573
WHAT THE HELL
IS KEEPING YOU HERE?
1065
00:38:56,602 --> 00:38:58,102
- WELL, I FINALLY FEEL LIKE
1066
00:38:58,136 --> 00:39:00,406
I FINALLY HAVE A SHOT
AT THE CORNER CUBICLE.
1067
00:39:00,439 --> 00:39:02,569
- WOMAN,
I SWEAR TO CHRISTMAS,
1068
00:39:02,608 --> 00:39:04,038
IF YOU DO NOT GET
ON THAT PLANE,
1069
00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:06,075
I WILL GO CHIMP ATTACK
ON YOUR FACE
1070
00:39:06,111 --> 00:39:07,511
AND MAKE THAT CUBICLE
YOUR TOMB!
1071
00:39:07,546 --> 00:39:10,476
- DENNIS,
GO GET A DRINK OF WATER.
1072
00:39:10,516 --> 00:39:11,576
- RIGHT.
1073
00:39:11,617 --> 00:39:14,587
- JULIA, LOOK AT MY FACE.
1074
00:39:14,620 --> 00:39:16,120
DO YOU LIKE
WHAT YOU SEE?
1075
00:39:16,154 --> 00:39:18,624
BECAUSE THIS IS WHO YOU'RE
GONNA BE SEEING IN THE MIRROR
1076
00:39:18,657 --> 00:39:19,627
TEN YEARS FROM NOW.
1077
00:39:19,658 --> 00:39:21,388
- KAREN, LET'S BE FAIR.
1078
00:39:21,427 --> 00:39:22,527
MY DIET IS
VERY DIFFERENT FROM YOURS.
1079
00:39:22,561 --> 00:39:26,161
I MEAN, YOU SHOTGUN GRAPE SODA
AND LIVE ON SLIM JIMS.
1080
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:29,497
- IT IS CALLED COPING, JULIA.
1081
00:39:29,535 --> 00:39:31,565
YOU KNOW WHEN THAT SHOOTER
WALKED PAST MY DESK?
1082
00:39:31,603 --> 00:39:33,513
I TOUCHED HIS SHOE
1083
00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:35,809
JUST TO MAKE
HUMAN CONTACT.
1084
00:39:35,841 --> 00:39:37,711
I WANT MORE FOR YOU.
1085
00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:39,513
YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.
1086
00:39:39,545 --> 00:39:40,845
- THAT'S WHAT MARCELO SAID,
1087
00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:42,549
THE LAST PART, I MEAN.
1088
00:39:42,581 --> 00:39:43,681
- HE'S RIGHT.
1089
00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:45,515
YOU HAVE TO THINK
LONG AND HARD
1090
00:39:45,551 --> 00:39:47,151
ABOUT WHAT IT IS
THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY,
1091
00:39:47,185 --> 00:39:49,915
AND THEN YOU JUST
HAVE TO DO IT.
1092
00:39:55,527 --> 00:39:58,727
- HEY. I'M SO GLAD
YOU PACK SO LITTLE.
1093
00:39:58,764 --> 00:40:02,634
MOST OF THE TIME, YOU'LL BE
WEARING NOTHING BUT SAND.
1094
00:40:02,668 --> 00:40:05,098
- OH,
I'M SO GONNA MISS THAT.
1095
00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:06,806
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
1096
00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:08,538
- I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU.
1097
00:40:08,574 --> 00:40:10,144
THIS IS YOUR SHIRT.
1098
00:40:10,175 --> 00:40:11,435
MY CO-WORKER DENNIS
1099
00:40:11,477 --> 00:40:13,077
IS GONNA KILL ME
FOR GIVING IT TO YOU.
1100
00:40:13,111 --> 00:40:15,681
- BUT I WANT
TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
1101
00:40:15,714 --> 00:40:17,224
- AND YOU DID.
1102
00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,878
YOU GAVE ME
A HAPPY VACATION,
1103
00:40:18,917 --> 00:40:20,717
BUT I NEED TO GIVE ME
A HAPPY LIFE.
1104
00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:21,952
- BUT ONLY YESTERDAY, WE--
1105
00:40:21,987 --> 00:40:23,117
- NO, SHH,
NOT TO SPEAK.
1106
00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:25,524
MARCELO, MY DARLING,
1107
00:40:25,557 --> 00:40:28,127
YOU'RE BRAZILIAN
AND AMAZING,
1108
00:40:28,159 --> 00:40:31,529
AND WHAT YOU'RE OFFERING ME
IS RIDICULOUSLY TEMPTING.
1109
00:40:31,563 --> 00:40:33,833
BUT I'M AN AMERICAN.
1110
00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:35,625
I LIKE TO WORK.
1111
00:40:35,667 --> 00:40:37,967
I LIKE TO WORK MYSELF
TO THE BONE.
1112
00:40:38,003 --> 00:40:39,473
AND YOU KNOW WHY?
1113
00:40:39,505 --> 00:40:40,805
BECAUSE
THERE'S AN OFF-CHANCE
1114
00:40:40,839 --> 00:40:42,139
SOMEONE ABOVE ME
MIGHT NOTICE
1115
00:40:42,173 --> 00:40:43,643
AND GIVE ME A RAISE.
1116
00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:45,835
AND THEN I CAN BE
A HOMEOWNER.
1117
00:40:45,877 --> 00:40:49,517
I WANT TO TAKE OUT A MORTGAGE
ON A HOUSE I CAN'T AFFORD.
1118
00:40:49,548 --> 00:40:50,778
- WELL, THIS PLACE
LOOKS NICE.
1119
00:40:50,816 --> 00:40:52,716
- KEEP DRIVING.
- REALLY?
1120
00:40:52,751 --> 00:40:54,251
- OH, YEAH,
ALL OVER THE BREAKFAST NOOK.
1121
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:55,245
UP TOP.
1122
00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:56,316
- WOW.
- I'M NOT KIDDING.
1123
00:40:56,354 --> 00:40:59,064
SERIOUSLY, IT WAS MY STUDY BUDDY
FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
1124
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:00,560
- YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.
1125
00:41:00,592 --> 00:41:02,192
- I WANT TO SPEND
THE LITTLE LEISURE TIME I HAVE
1126
00:41:02,227 --> 00:41:04,527
PLOPPED IN FRONT
OF A GIANT FLAT-SCREEN TV.
1127
00:41:04,563 --> 00:41:08,073
- JUST MOVE THE JOYSTICK
AND HIT THE "X" BUTTON.
1128
00:41:08,099 --> 00:41:10,069
crowd: OOH!
1129
00:41:10,101 --> 00:41:11,241
- LIKE THAT?
1130
00:41:11,269 --> 00:41:13,539
- [laughing]
YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT.
1131
00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:17,781
- BUT THANK YOU, MARCELO.
1132
00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:21,279
THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME
THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD I WORK,
1133
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:24,252
THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM
FOR A LITTLE VACATION JULIA.
1134
00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:25,552
YOU'LL ALSO NOTICE...
1135
00:41:25,584 --> 00:41:28,194
AND AS MUCH
AS I WANT TO MAKE LOVE
1136
00:41:28,219 --> 00:41:30,019
ON THE SANDY BEACHES OF RIO,
1137
00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:33,625
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
IN THE WORLD...
1138
00:41:33,659 --> 00:41:36,899
I WANT THAT CORNER CUBE.
1139
00:41:36,928 --> 00:41:39,728
- YOU KNOW WHAT, DENNIS?
1140
00:41:39,765 --> 00:41:40,595
I WISH A GUY
LIKED ME ENOUGH
1141
00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:42,932
SO I COULD
BREAK HIS HEART LIKE THAT.
1142
00:41:42,968 --> 00:41:43,938
- ME, TOO.
1143
00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:45,639
I MEAN, WITH A CHICK.
1144
00:41:45,671 --> 00:41:46,911
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
1145
00:41:46,938 --> 00:41:48,838
- LA LA LA LA LA LA
1146
00:41:48,874 --> 00:41:51,684
WHEN YOU WALK ON BY
1147
00:41:51,710 --> 00:41:54,950
LA LA LA LA,
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
1148
00:41:54,980 --> 00:41:57,980
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