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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:04,239 - NOW THE REASON WE'RE HERE 2 00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:07,712 IS TO LOVE EACH OTHER 3 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:11,251 TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER 4 00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:15,119 WHEN LOVE WALKS IN THE ROOM 5 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:18,289 EVERYBODY STAND UP 6 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,319 OH, IT'S GOOD, GOOD, GOOD 7 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,615 SAY I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU 8 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,727 I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU 9 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,732 [Simple Minds' Don't You (Forget About Me)] 10 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:37,467 - HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY 11 00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:41,105 OOH-OOH-OOH 12 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,812 OHH 13 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,253 - [sports announcer] 14 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,679 AND IF YOU CRACK THE BOOK ON EVANS, 15 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,854 YOU SHOULD KNOW TO KEEP THE BALL OF THE STRIKE ZONE 16 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,852 BECAUSE HE'S A ONE-MAN WRECKING CREW. 17 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,754 - HEY, BUDDY, I KNOW YOU'RE ON YOUR LUNCH, 18 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,356 BUT YOU GOT A SEC? 19 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,858 - YEAH. WHAT'S UP? 20 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,130 - NOTICE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS? 21 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,661 - "MOST LIKELY TO PRUDENCE." 22 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,226 - HMM. - I'M SORRY, DAD. 23 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:05,865 I JUST--I CAN'T GET HER OUT OF MY HEAD. 24 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,799 - I KNOW IT'S BEEN A ROUGH COUPLE OF MONTHS. 25 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:11,666 BUT I GOT A VOLLEYBALL TROPHY OUT HERE THAT READS, 26 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,205 "MOST VALUABLE PRUDENCE." 27 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:18,782 [game music, chatter] 28 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,282 TAKING THIS BREAKUP KINDA HARD, HUH? 29 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,554 - IT'S NOT A BREAKUP. 30 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,522 WE'RE JUST TAKING A BREAK. 31 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,421 IT'S LIKE THAT SAYING, IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, 32 00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:28,793 SET IT FREE, AND IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO YOU. 33 00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,222 - STRIKE. 34 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,458 - ALWAYS. 35 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:34,702 - I LOVE YOU, PAL, BUT YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF A PLAN "B." 36 00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,428 I KNOW WHAT'LL CHEER YOU UP. 37 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,734 [cheering] 38 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,896 THAT SKINNY LITTLE BASTARD IS 1 FOR 26 39 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,404 AGAINST RIGHT-HANDED PITCHING, AND STILL HE GETS ON BASE. 40 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,667 THIS HAS GOTTA BE OUR YEAR. 41 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,205 - YOU BET YOUR ASS IT'S OUR YEAR. 42 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,610 LOOK WHO'S COMING UP. 43 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,341 - DANTE EVANS. 44 00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,607 - I DUNNO, DANTE'S BEEN IN A SLUMP LATELY. 45 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,505 IF HE WANTS TO GET ON BASE, HE NEEDS TO SAY A PRAYER 46 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,377 TO THE PATRON SAINT OF BASEBALL. 47 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,216 - DANTE DOESN'T NEED SAINT RITA OF CASCIA. 48 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,351 HE'LL BE FINE. 49 00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,446 HE'S JUST GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME. 50 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,658 - SWINGING... 51 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,759 IT IS... HOME RUN! 52 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,561 [both cheer] - DING-DONG! 53 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:06,933 STRAIGHT INTO THE PARKING LOT. 54 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,860 - I KNEW HE COULD DO IT. HE NEVER LETS ME DOWN. 55 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,196 - YEAH. - EXCUSE ME. 56 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,831 I WAS HOPING TO FIND A TROPHY FOR DOGS. 57 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,866 - BACK WALL, THIRD SHELF. - TAKE WHAT YOU WANT. 58 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:18,342 - DANTE, IT'S YOUR 11TH WALK-OFF THIS YEAR. 59 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,872 WOULD YOU CONSIDER THIS THE END OF YOUR RECENT SLUMP? 60 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:21,878 - I'D HAVE TO SAY SO, CHIP. 61 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,739 - YOU KNOW, YOU'D THINK ONE OF THESE PITCHERS 62 00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,277 WOULD BUY AN XBOX. 63 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,783 THE HOLE IN HIS SWING IS LOW AND AWAY. 64 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:28,945 - THANK YOU, DANTE. - THANKS, MAN. 65 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,822 HEY, BABY. 66 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,491 - HEY, THAT GIRL KINDA LOOKS LIKE PRUDENCE, HUH? 67 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,561 - YOU THINK? 68 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,918 - BUT ONLY TIME WILL TELL IF EVANS CAN WALK OFF 69 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,826 WITH ANOTHER DIVISION TITLE. 70 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:41,328 - WOW, SHE LOOKS A LOT LIKE PRUDENCE. 71 00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,862 - PRUDENCE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE BASEBALL. 72 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:43,726 - YEAH, AND, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF GIRLS 73 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,804 HAVE THE HAIR LIKE THAT AND WEAR THE-- 74 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,843 OH, MY GOD. 75 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,438 - OH YEAH 76 00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:52,710 I AM IN MISERY 77 00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,710 THERE AIN'T NOBODY 78 00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,212 - IT'S NOT ENOUGH YOU BROKE MY HEART, 79 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:57,514 YOU HAD TO DATE MY HERO? 80 00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,605 - HI, SAM. 81 00:02:58,646 --> 00:02:59,776 - WHO'S NEXT ON YOUR TO-DO LIST, 82 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:00,953 THE GREEN LANTERN? BONO? 83 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,921 - SAM, PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN. 84 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,790 - HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I DATED YOUR HERO? 85 00:03:04,818 --> 00:03:06,618 - OPRAH? - STINGS, DOESN'T IT? 86 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,694 ME FRENCHING OPRAH ON TV? 87 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:09,892 HER HANDS EVERYWHERE. 88 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,863 - SAM, I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU. 89 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,932 AND AS CRAZY AS THIS MAY SOUND, 90 00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,961 YOU KIND OF HAD A HAND IN BRINGING US TOGETHER. 91 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,566 - WHAT? - IT'S TRUE. 92 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:19,829 DO YOU REMEMBER A FEW WEEKS BACK 93 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,697 DANTE HAD THAT BOOK SIGNING FOR HIS BIOGRAPHY? 94 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:22,865 - DANTE'S IN FUEGO. 95 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,413 I COULDN'T GO. I HAVE CONJUNCTIVITIS. 96 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,938 - WELL, AFTER HOW THINGS ENDED 97 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,713 I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU. 98 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,841 BUT DANTE AND I GOT TO TALKING, 99 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:34,278 AND, I MEAN, THANKS TO YOU I KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM-- 100 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,575 HIS LOVE OF PANINIS, 101 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,386 HIS INTEREST IN CLEAN COAL TECHNOLOGY, 102 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,859 HIS FIJIAN OUTREACH PROGRAM. 103 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:46,029 - YOU SAID THAT YOU NEEDED A BREAK FROM RELATIONSHIPS. 104 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,899 - I NEEDED A BREAK FROM YOU. 105 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,528 - BECAUSE I'M NOT FAMOUS? 106 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,903 - BECAUSE YOU WATCH LIFE FROM THE SIDELINES, SAM. 107 00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:54,802 HOW COME YOU NEVER WENT ON THAT JOB INTERVIEW I GOT YOU? 108 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:55,965 THAT SPORTS MAGAZINE. 109 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,813 - I HAD TICKETS TO A DOUBLEHEADER. 110 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,779 - WHAT'S THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? 111 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,809 - WHEN WE WON THE SERIES IN '02. 112 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,814 - WE? SAM, REALLY? 113 00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,516 WHAT POSITION DID YOU PLAY? 114 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:09,848 - THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE OF ALL--FAN. 115 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:13,753 - SAM, YOU'RE NOT A DOER. 116 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,687 YOU'RE A LOT OF WONDERFUL THINGS, 117 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,294 BUT YOU'RE NOT THAT. 118 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,486 - I'M NOT A "DON'T-ER." 119 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,628 - WHAT'S UP, BABY? 120 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:23,803 YOU IN THE MOOD FOR SOME BENIHANA? 121 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,701 - OH, MY GOD. 122 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:28,543 - DANTE, THIS IS AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE, SAM. 123 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,339 HE'S A BIG FAN OF YOURS. 124 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,571 - WHAT'S UP, MAN? 125 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,836 - HI. 126 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,914 - YOU DON'T SAY? 127 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,353 - HI. 128 00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,349 THEN HE INVITED ME TO DINNER, 129 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:41,881 AND I THINK I PEED A LITTLE BIT, DAD. 130 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,385 I PEED IN FRONT OF MY HERO. 131 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,748 - THOSE BIG STARS, THEY'RE USED TO THAT. 132 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,057 SO YOU GONNA GO? 133 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,558 - I DON'T KNOW. HOW COULD I NOT GO? 134 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,761 I'VE GOT HIS ROOKIE CARD, HIS FATHEAD WALL ART. 135 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,404 THE GUY'S A FIRST-BALLOT HALL-OF-FAMER. 136 00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:59,600 IF BARRY BONDS AND BABE RUTH HAD A CHILD-- 137 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,743 - HIS HEAD WOULDN'T FIT THROUGH THE BIRTH CANAL. 138 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:02,669 YOU SHOULD GO. 139 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,513 - BUT HOW CAN I SIT ACROSS FROM THE GUY 140 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:05,738 WHEN I KNOW HE'S PLAYING SLAP-AND-TICKLE 141 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,873 WITH THE WOMAN I LOVE? 142 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,077 - THAT WOULD BE A PROBLEM. 143 00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,778 - BUT IS IT INSURMOUNTABLE? 144 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,010 I HAVE DREAMED OF HAVING DINNER WITH DANTE EVANS. 145 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,116 WELL, IT WAS MORE LIKE BEER AND WINGS, 146 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,478 AND BONO WAS THERE TOO. 147 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,747 BUT HE WOULDN'T EAT THE WINGS. 148 00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,515 - WHO'S HE SHOWING OFF FOR? 149 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,863 LISTEN, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE CHANCE TO BREAK BREAD 150 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,789 WITH DANTE FREAKIN' EVANS. 151 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,464 WOMEN COME AND GO. 152 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,793 HEROES ARE FOREVER. 153 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,427 - THAT IS TRUE. 154 00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:29,562 MAYBE I CAN DO THIS. 155 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,797 - OF COURSE YOU CAN. 156 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,972 YOU'RE A SACOVITCH. 157 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,601 YOU'LL SACK UP, 158 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,896 WEAR YOUR BEST SUIT, 159 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,137 LOOK HIM IN THE EYE, 160 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,511 AND SHAKE HIS HAND. 161 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,911 BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? 162 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,853 - THE WORLD'S BEST SON. - AH. 163 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,478 - IT'S AN HONOR, DAD. 164 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,054 BUT I CAN'T GO ALONE. 165 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,781 - WELL, I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND YOU A DATE. 166 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,448 [laughter] 167 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,487 - OH, MAN. 168 00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:58,463 - OH, DANTE, YOU ARE A CHARACTER. 169 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,792 IS HE NOT A CHARACTER? 170 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,558 HEY, WHEN YOU WON THE BATTING TITLE IN '06, 171 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,597 WHAT KIND OF METAL DID THEY USE FOR THE TROPHY? 172 00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,133 - I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I WIN MY NEXT ONE. 173 00:06:07,167 --> 00:06:11,097 - HA! YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE? 174 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,508 TO YOU, BUDDY. 175 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,010 - YOU KNOW, SAM USED TO PLAY. 176 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,581 HE WAS REALLY GOOD. 177 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,449 - OH, NOT REALLY GOOD. 178 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,678 I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER 179 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,782 IF IT WEREN'T FOR A MEDICAL CONDITION. 180 00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,853 - HIS LEFT LEG'S SHORTER THAN HIS RIGHT. 181 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,793 - THE DOCTORS TOLD US TO PULL IT, 182 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:28,118 BUT ME AND MY WIFE HAD OUR OWN STUFF TO WORK THROUGH, SO... 183 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:31,655 - OH, DANTE, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM THE BAG? 184 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:34,862 - IT'S A LITTLE TOKEN FOR MY BIGGEST FAN. 185 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:35,895 - HOO-HOO-HOO. 186 00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:37,699 - HOLY-- - OH! 187 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:40,471 - IS THIS AUTOGRAPHED BY THE WHOLE TEAM? 188 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:41,801 - YEAH, WELL, EVERYBODY BUT MURDOCH. 189 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:42,865 HE CAN'T READ. 190 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,203 - MOTHER OF MERCY. 191 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,437 IS THIS-- 192 00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:46,673 - DANTE MIST. 193 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,437 - THAT'S NOT EVEN ON THE SHELVES YET. 194 00:06:49,477 --> 00:06:50,877 - 100% CANE SUGAR. 195 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,811 INFUSED WITH EXCELLENCE. 196 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,546 - EXCUSE ME, MR. EVANS. 197 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:55,822 I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, 198 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:58,889 BUT MY HUSBAND IS A GIGANTIC FAN. 199 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,019 - JUST A LITTLE BIT. 200 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,793 - COULD YOU SIGN HIS SHIRT? 201 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,822 - AIN'T NO BOTHER AT ALL, BIG FELLA. 202 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:04,857 YO, DANTE LOVES THE LOVE. 203 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,592 - OH, DANTE LOVES THE LOVE. 204 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:07,827 - OKAY. - THANK YOU. 205 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,631 - GOT YOU. THERE YOU GO. 206 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:10,733 - OKAY. 207 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:11,904 - OH, BAM. 208 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,732 - THANK YOU SO MUCH. - YOU'RE WELCOME. 209 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,937 - GOOD NIGHT. COME ON. 210 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,639 - GOOD NIGHT. - GOOD NIGHT! 211 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,111 - SORRY ABOUT THAT. - THAT'S DANTE. 212 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,939 HE ALWAYS MAKES TIME FOR A FAN. 213 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,584 - I JUST DO WHAT I DO, BABY. 214 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,851 [phone chimes] 215 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,779 EXCUSE ME, WON'T YOU? - MM-HMM. 216 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,575 - HOW 'BOUT THAT? YOU TWO HAVE THE SAME PHONE. 217 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:32,547 - YEAH, BUT HE PROBABLY HAS FAMOUS PEOPLE ON HIS SPEED DIAL. 218 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,086 I ONLY HAVE YOU AND COUSIN BARRY. 219 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,791 - DON'T SELL YOUR COUSIN SHORT. 220 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:36,993 HE MET THE MAYOR ONCE. 221 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,194 - HEY, SCOTTY BOOKED ME ON THAT TAQUITO HEAVEN COMMERCIAL. 222 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:42,896 - OOH, I LOVE THEIR SALSA VERDE. 223 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:44,030 - SPICY! 224 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:45,634 DANTE FEELS BAD. 225 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,766 DANTE'S BEEN JAWING ABOUT HIMSELF ALL NIGHT. 226 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,801 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 227 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,637 KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES OR WHAT? 228 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,043 - [laughs] M-- 229 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,814 UM... 230 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,114 WELL, I-- 231 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,205 - YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT HE IS. 232 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,946 I TELL YOU WHAT, ONCE THIS KID LINES UP 233 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,281 A PLAN "B," WATCH OUT. 234 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,775 HE COULD BE PRESIDENT. 235 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,947 - HA, WELL, MAYBE NOT PRESIDENT. 236 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,956 - [giggling] 237 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,658 - EXCUSE ME. 238 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,990 YOU KNOW WHAT, I HAVE TO-- 239 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,955 I'M SORRY, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT-- 240 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,564 I HAVE TO--THIS IS-- 241 00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:29,879 - HEY. 242 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,310 - HI. 243 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,854 - YOUR DAD SEEMS LIKE HE'S HAVING A GOOD TIME. 244 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,281 - YEAH, WELL, IT'S BEEN 20 YEARS SINCE MOM LEFT, 245 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:39,986 SO IT'S JUST NICE TO SEE HIM FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN. 246 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,220 - [laughs] 247 00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,785 - SO ARE YOU... 248 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,125 - I'M GREAT. I-I'M GREAT. 249 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,330 HOW 'BOUT YOU, PRU? 250 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,801 ARE YOU--ARE YOU HAPPY? 251 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,800 LIKE--LIKE REALLY HAPPY? 252 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,742 - I THINK SO, YEAH. 253 00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,768 - WELL, THEN I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. 254 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,774 THAT'S--DANTE'S A CLASS ACT. 255 00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,666 - MM-HMM. 256 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,278 - I GUESS THE... GUESS THE BETTER MAN WON. 257 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,280 - OH...OH, NOT BETTER. 258 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:09,783 JUST DIFFERENT. 259 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:15,264 I'M REALLY GLAD YOU CAME TONIGHT, SAM. 260 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,788 - ME TOO. 261 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,233 - I SHOULD, UM... 262 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,710 - YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU 263 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,209 SEAT THE CUSTOMERS ALL NIGHT. 264 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,640 HOW'D YOU LIKE A STRAW FOR THAT SHAKE, GIRL? 265 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,106 - THINK YOU CAN HANDLE ALL THIS? 266 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:40,975 - WHY DON'T YOU TEXT ME AFTER YOU GET OFF WORK 267 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,854 AND WE'LL FIND OUT? 268 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,623 - DANTE. 269 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,823 WHY? 270 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,294 - I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU STANDING THERE, JIM. 271 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,291 - IT'S SAM. 272 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:52,262 - YEAH. YO, YOU KNOW, HEY. 273 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,962 YOU KNOW HOW IT GETS ON THE ROAD. 274 00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,164 YOU KNOW, DANTE GETS TENSE. 275 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,795 - YOU'RE NOT ON THE ROAD. 276 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,970 - DANTE GETS TENSE AT HOME TOO. 277 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,729 PRUDENCE KNOWS THE DEAL. 278 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:01,838 - WHAT, THE DEAL? 279 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,139 NO, I'M PRETTY SURE PRUDENCE DOES NOT KNOW THE DEAL. 280 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:07,811 AND I THINK--I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD TELL HER. 281 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,841 - OR WHAT? 282 00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,407 - OR I-I WILL. 283 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,084 - REALLY? 284 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,753 WHO IS SHE GONNA BELIEVE, MAN, 285 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,252 HER LOSER OF AN EX-BOYFRIEND 286 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,693 OR THE GUY THAT JUST BOUGHT HER 287 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:19,088 A WALL-SIZED THOMAS KINKADE, 288 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:20,349 THE PAINTER OF LIGHT? 289 00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,957 - YOU KNOW, I USED TO DEFEND YOU. 290 00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,419 PEOPLE WOULD CALL YOU A SELF-ABSORBED, 291 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,027 WASHED-UP 'ROID FREAK WITH A HOLE IN HIS SWING 292 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,760 THE SIZE OF CHICAGO. 293 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:29,926 YOU'RE NO HERO. 294 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:33,433 YOU'RE A JOKE... INFUSED WITH DOUCHERY. 295 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,366 - AIN'T NO HOLE IN MY SWING. 296 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,842 - LIKE HELL, THERE ISN'T. 297 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,370 YOU SUCK, EVANS. 298 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,735 I BET THAT DANDELION COULD STRIKE YOU OUT. 299 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,414 - [laughs] 300 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,852 - OH, YOU THINK YOU CAN STRIKE ME OUT, DANDELION? 301 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,048 - UHH... 302 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,379 - UHH. SOUNDS LIKE A YES TO DANTE. 303 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,123 - OKAY, ONE AT-BAT. 304 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,255 IF I STRIKE YOU OUT, 305 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,759 YOU GOTTA COME CLEAN TO PRUDENCE. 306 00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,691 - FEELS PRETTY GOOD TO TRY TO BE THE HERO, HUH? 307 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,158 WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS, HERO? 308 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,765 WHEN YOU LOSE, YOU GET GONE FOR GOOD 309 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,268 AND LET ME BANG YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND IN PEACE. 310 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,839 - OH, YEAH? WELL, YOU'RE GONNA BE-- 311 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,798 YOU'RE GONNA BE RESTIN' IN PIECES WHEN I'M DONE 312 00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:11,367 DOING TO YOU WHAT I-- 313 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,314 WHAT I'M GONNA-- WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO YOU. 314 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,410 CAN WE JUST DO THIS? 315 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:18,811 - YEAH. I KNOW A LITTLE PARK RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. 316 00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,176 - YOU READY? 317 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,413 - UH, I THINK SO. 318 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,948 - DON'T FORGET TO BREATHE. - OKAY. 319 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:23,883 - YOU DO THOSE STRETCHES? 320 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,217 - WHERE WOULD I HAVE DONE STRETCHES, DAD, 321 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,352 IN THE CAR? 322 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,356 [grandiose rock music] 323 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:35,029 324 00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:37,332 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET HIM GET THE CHECK. 325 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,734 - IT'S OKAY. 326 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,937 THINK I'M ABOUT TO PAY FOR IT NOW. 327 00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,806 [hip-hop music] 328 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,105 - BET YOU'RE REGRETTING THOSE BUFFALO WINGS NOW. 329 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,247 - THEY WERE FOR THE TABLE. 330 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,093 - YEAH. 331 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:03,020 - HEY, UH, WOULD YOU HOLD MY PHONE FOR ME? 332 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,326 THERE MAY BE SOME TROPHY-RELATED EMERGENCY CALLS COMING IN. 333 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,529 - SURE. THIS IS REALLY EXCITING, 334 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,061 BUT ARE YOU OKAY DOING THIS 335 00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,497 WITHOUT YOUR CORRECTIVE CLEATS? - HA! 336 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,871 - I HAVE THE PUFF FROM MY COMPACT 337 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,070 IF YOU WANT TO STUFF IT IN YOUR SHOE. 338 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,171 - I'LL BE FINE. 339 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,442 OOH! 340 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,169 GIVE ME THE PUFF. 341 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,435 [Dante chuckling] 342 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,072 YOU SERIOUS? 343 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,478 YOU WANNA DO THIS. 344 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:25,279 ALL RIGHT. COME ON. 345 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,782 - OOH OOH 346 00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:30,424 347 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,190 SO OFF WE GO 348 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:32,949 LET THE TRUMPETS BLOW 349 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,356 - ALL RIGHT, SON, HERE WE GO. 350 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,188 - TAKE IT LIKE A MAN. 351 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:41,094 352 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,198 - WOW! 353 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,000 I MEAN, THAT IS AMAZING. 354 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,902 I HAVEN'T SEEN A 30-MILE-AN-HOUR FASTBALL 355 00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,474 SINCE I WAS, LIKE, SIX. 356 00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:49,501 - [laughs] 357 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:50,996 - YEAH, WELL, 358 00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:52,308 THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. 359 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:53,909 - [laughs] 360 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,381 - THAT IS GOOD NEWS. 40 MILES AN HOUR THIS TIME. 361 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,049 - YOU CAN DO IT! 362 00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,948 - COME ON. 363 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,250 - ALL RIGHT, GIVE HIM THE HEAT! 364 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,521 GIVE HIM THE HEAT! 365 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,120 - FORE! 366 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,157 COME ON.... COME ON, COME ON. 367 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:14,232 - OH... 368 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,201 - OHH! - HA HA! 369 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,429 - HEY, BABY, REMIND ME. 370 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,825 I NEED TO SEND A CHECK TO THAT DUDE 371 00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,127 WHOSE WINDOW I JUST BUSTED IN EL MONTE. 372 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:24,498 - TIME. 373 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,107 - WHAT AM I DOING? I CAN'T BEAT THIS GUY. 374 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,840 - YOU KNOW WHAT, BUDDY, IT DOESN'T MATTER. 375 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,576 LOOK WHERE YOU ARE, SAMMY. 376 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,080 YOU'RE NOT ON THE SIDELINES ANYMORE. 377 00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:34,352 YOU'RE OUT HERE ON THE MOUND! 378 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,881 AND WIN OR LOSE, 379 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:38,146 YOU GOT A TROPHY WAITING AT HOME FOR YOU 380 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,215 THAT READS "PARTICIPANT." 381 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,863 - THANKS, DAD. 382 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,092 TELL YOU WHAT, 383 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,956 SET ONE ASIDE THAT SAYS "WINNER." 384 00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,055 - THAT-A-BOY. 385 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,456 RIP HIS NUTS OFF. 386 00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,209 COME ON. COME TO PAPA. 387 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,107 - [exhales] 388 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:06,510 [organ plays "Charge!"] 389 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,216 male announcer: THIS IS DEFINITELY A HITTER 390 00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,048 WHO CAPITALIZES ON MISTAKES. 391 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,293 SO THE PITCHER WILL WANT TO KEEP THE BALL 392 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,889 AS FAR OUT OF HIS WHEELHOUSE AS POSSIBLE. 393 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,222 [voice echoing] ANYWHERE ELSE WILL... 394 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:20,957 [jet engine sound] 395 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,929 - OH, MY GOD! 396 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,104 - [coughing] 397 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,343 I'M GOOD! - NONSENSE! 398 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,568 YOU'RE GOING TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. 399 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,102 YOU COULD HAVE A COLLAPSED LUNG. 400 00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,138 - WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 401 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,312 - BABY, I BARELY TAPPED IT. 402 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,011 HEY, LITTLE MAN, I'M SORRY. 403 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,483 YOU WANT ONE OF MY JESUS CHAINS? 404 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,510 - [coughs] - DANTE! 405 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,075 - A JESUS CHAIN AND A HUG? 406 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,083 [cell phone chimes] 407 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,224 - OH. SAM? 408 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,320 DON'T FORGET YOUR PHONE. 409 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,151 - THAT'S NOT MINE. 410 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,016 I MUST HAVE GOTTEN IT CONFUSED. 411 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,215 I THINK IT'S DANTE'S. 412 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:52,186 - "HI, DANTE. IT'S BETHANY. 413 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,955 "I'M READY TO BE YOUR M.V.P., 414 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,034 MOST VALUABLE--" 415 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,662 [gasps] 416 00:14:56,696 --> 00:15:00,196 - DANG, BABY. I MEAN, SOMEBODY MUST HAVE HACKED DANTE'S PHONE. 417 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:03,143 - WHO IS BETHANY, 418 00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:06,110 AND WHY IS SHE READY TO BE YOUR M.V...P? 419 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:07,369 - HEY, BABY, DANTE'S... 420 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,977 - DID YOU GIVE HER DANTE'S PHONE ON PURPOSE? 421 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,710 - NEVER HURTS TO HAVE A PLAN "B." 422 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,154 - [laughs] 423 00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:14,110 RIPPED 'EM OFF, DIDN'T YOU? 424 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,477 - HEY, MY NUMBER'S ON GOOGLE. 425 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,146 - GOOGLE? 426 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,045 MOST VALUABLE-- 427 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,222 - I'M GONNA MISS YOU AROUND HERE, SAMMY. 428 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,057 NOBODY ASSEMBLES DOUBLE-COLUMN TROPHIES 429 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,293 QUITE LIKE YOU. 430 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:29,127 - MONKEYS CAN DO THAT, DAD. 431 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,962 BESIDES, I'M MOVING UP. 432 00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,628 I KNOW THE MAILROOM AT SPORTS ILLUSTRATED 433 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,325 ISN'T THE WHITE HOUSE, 434 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,137 BUT AT LEAST I'M IN THE GAME. 435 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,039 [doorbell chimes] 436 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,440 - OH, PRUDENCE. 437 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,214 I PROBABLY SHOULD, UH, 438 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,384 BOX UP THOSE IRREGULAR SPELLING BEE TROPHIES. 439 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,175 - HOW'S YOUR CHEST DOING? 440 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,387 - OH, UH, IT'S FINE. 441 00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:56,159 THESE WERE MY LEAST FAVORITE RIBS ANYWAY. 442 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:59,159 - DANTE AND I ARE ALL DONE. 443 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:00,362 - THAT'S SO FUNNY. 444 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,133 DANTE AND I ARE ALL DONE, TOO. 445 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:07,073 - YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING OUT FOR ME. 446 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,440 THANKS. 447 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,138 - YOU KNOW--YOU KNOW WHAT, I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU 448 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,271 FOR THE WAKE-UP CALL. 449 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:15,375 I'VE BEEN MAKING SOME CHANGES IN MY LIFE, 450 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:18,608 AND I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THEM OVER COFFEE 451 00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:23,115 OR DRINKS OR ANYTHING BUT DANTE MIST. 452 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,250 - THAT'D BE NICE. 453 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,691 OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. 454 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,585 THAT'S THE BALL THAT STRUCK OUT DANTE EVANS. 455 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,127 - BUT I DIDN'T STRIKE HIM OUT. 456 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,503 - YEAH. 457 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:39,601 KINDA DID. 458 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,704 I'LL SEE YOU AROUND, SAM 459 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:54,448 - HERE WE GO WITH HOUSE NUMBER 14. 460 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,121 THE BIG ONE-FOUR. 461 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,679 UNO-QUATRO. 462 00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:00,187 - AT THIS RATE, WE'RE GONNA BE RENTERS FOREVER. 463 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,060 I THINK WE SHOULD STOP LOOKING AT HOUSES 464 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:03,389 AND START LOOKING AT NURSING HOMES. 465 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,823 - NO, FORGET NURSING HOMES. 466 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,087 WHEN WE TURN 60, WE'RE MOVING TO AFRICA 467 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,297 WHERE THEY WORSHIP THE ELDERLY. 468 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,328 HELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S JUST GO THERE NOW. 469 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,133 - HEY, WHY SNEAK OFF TO THE CONGO 470 00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,335 WHEN THINGS ARE JUST DANDY HERE IN THE REPUBLIC OF CHAD? 471 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,738 [chuckles] 472 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,669 OH, THIS NEXT PROPERTY IS A PEACH. 473 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,810 NOTICE THE EXPOSED BEAMS IN THE CEILING. 474 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,305 THOSE WERE HAND-HEWN 475 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:30,147 BY A FAMILY OF RELOCATED AMISH CRAFTSMEN. 476 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,423 - OH, DO YOU SEE THIS BAY WINDOW OVERLOOKING THE GARDEN? 477 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:35,162 IT'S LIKE A GIANT MOVIE SCREEN OF NATURE. 478 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,558 - DO YOU SEE THE LAWN IN THE BACKYARD? 479 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,819 I CAN FINALLY GET MY LAWNMOWER! 480 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,157 - WHAT? 481 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,662 - AND PAY A NEIGHBOR BOY TO USE IT! 482 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,503 OHH! 483 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:46,500 - HA HA HA! THIS IS AMAZING! 484 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,243 I COULD COOK EGGS BENEDICT HERE. 485 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,638 - I COULD EAT EGGS BENEDICT HERE. 486 00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,439 - ONE COULD COOK OR EAT EGGS ANYTHING 487 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:54,211 ON THIS STYLISH CHESTERFORD ISLAND. 488 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,741 AND WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN, 489 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,375 PAPA BEAR CAN UNLEASH HIS MANHOOD 490 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,251 ALL OVER THE PATIO GRILL. 491 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:04,481 1,500 SQUARE INCHES OF FLAME-BROILING NIRVANA. 492 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,517 - NO WAY! 493 00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:08,892 - WAY, MY GOOD MAN. WAY, INDEED. 494 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,261 OH, BOTHER. 495 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,730 - WHAT? - I KNOW THAT LOOK. 496 00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,289 THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG. 497 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:15,827 YOU'RE UNHAPPY WITH THE NEIGHBORS. 498 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,232 HEY, YOU KNOW THAT KID WITH THE RAT TAIL 499 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,374 IS JUST THE GARDENER'S SON. 500 00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,528 YOU SAY THE WORD, 501 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:21,666 AND YOURS TRULY CAN CALL INMIGRACION. 502 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,301 - WHAT? NO. 503 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:26,106 WHY WOULD YOU EVEN-- 504 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:31,141 I THINK I HAD SEX HERE, ALL RIGHT? 505 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:33,808 - OH. IS THAT ALL? 506 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,246 WELCOME TO THE CLUB. 507 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,152 RAINY DAY, OPEN HOUSE, NOBODY CAME, 508 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,745 EXCEPT YOURS CHADLY. 509 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:40,986 - I'M STARTING TO THINK IT WAS A MISTAKE 510 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:44,260 MEETING YOUR REAL ESTATE AGENT OUTSIDE OF A GROCERY STORE. 511 00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,331 - IT WAS A FARMERS MARKET. 512 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,929 - I SHOULD PROBABLY TELL JUDD. 513 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,730 - OR YOU COULD WAIT FOR A MORE APPROPRIATE TIME AND PLACE. 514 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:51,803 - LIKE WHEN? 515 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,271 - HIS FUNERAL. 516 00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,940 IT'LL MAKE FOR ONE CRACKER OF A EULOGY. 517 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,838 RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE A UNITED FRONT. 518 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:01,240 WHY UNDERCUT HIS ENTHUSIASM WITH UNNECESSARY FRANKNESS? 519 00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,014 [knock at door] 520 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,881 - WE ARE SO BUYING THIS HOUSE! 521 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,140 [laughs] 522 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,278 - EULOGY, HUH? 523 00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,487 - HE DOES HAVE A HEART ATTACK BODY. 524 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:19,655 - I MIGHT BE GOING OUT ON A LIMB HERE, 525 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,662 BUT I THINK THAT HOUSE IS PERFECT. 526 00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:22,834 - YEP. 527 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,532 - I ALREADY CAME UP WITH A NAME FOR IT. 528 00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:25,534 ROUSCHER MEADOWS. 529 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,925 HUH? IT WAS LIKE WHEN I WALKED THROUGH THAT DOOR, 530 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,567 THE WHOLE HOUSE GREETED ME WITH A HUG, 531 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:30,702 AND I THINK I'M READY TO HUG BACK. 532 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,537 WITH MONEY. A MONEY HUG. 533 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,242 LET'S DO IT. CAN WE DO IT? 534 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:35,284 I WANNA DO IT. 535 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,378 - I HAD SEX THERE. 536 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,380 - W-WHO DID? - I DID... 537 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,852 HAVE SEX... 538 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,550 IN THE HOUSE. 539 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:45,222 - THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 540 00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,592 WE'D NEVER BEEN IN THAT HOUSE BEFORE. 541 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,520 OH. 542 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,586 OH! 543 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,863 - LOOK, IT WAS, LIKE, A MILLION YEARS AGO, OKAY? 544 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,233 WE HOOKED UP AFTER A SIMPLE MINDS CONCERT. 545 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,503 IT MEANT NOTHING. 546 00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,300 - WHOA! YOU HAD SEX IN OUR DREAM HOUSE, 547 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,743 AND YOU WENT TO A SIMPLE MINDS CONCERT? 548 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,769 - THEY OPENED FOR HOWARD JONES 549 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:05,874 AT THE L.A. COUNTY FAIR. 550 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,105 SHUT UP, OKAY? 551 00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:10,279 I HAD A PAST BEFORE YOU PLANTED YOUR FLAG IN ME, ALL RIGHT? 552 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,540 YOU'RE NOT BUZZ ALDRIN. 553 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,908 - BUZZ ALDRIN WAS THE SECOND GUY ON THE MOON. 554 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,416 - WELL, YOU'RE NOT HIM, EITHER. 555 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,388 JUDD, COME ON, WE LOVE THIS PLACE, ALL RIGHT? 556 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,948 AND WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND ANOTHER ONE LIKE IT, 557 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,317 SO ONE CRAZY WEEKEND 558 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,985 SHOULDN'T PUT AN END TO ROUSCHER MEADOWS. 559 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,893 - WEEKEND? WOW! - OH, CRAP. 560 00:20:25,925 --> 00:20:27,285 - WHAT KIND OF A WEEKEND WAS IT? 561 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,527 A LONG WEEKEND, LIKE A HOLIDAY WEEKEND? 562 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,732 SO NOW YOU'VE RUINED THE HOUSE 563 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:31,963 AND MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY. 564 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,268 - IT'S JUST MY LOCKER ROOM STORY, ALL RIGHT? 565 00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:35,671 JUST LIKE THE ONE THAT YOU TELL 566 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,702 ABOUT HOW YOU APPARENTLY ALMOST HAD SEX 567 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,037 WITH JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM. 568 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,612 - WHOA! I DID ALMOST HAVE SEX 569 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,441 WITH JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT IN AN AIRPLANE BATHROOM. 570 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:45,306 - OKAY, HONEY. 571 00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:48,945 LOOK, THIS GUY HAS A PAGE. 572 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,481 NO, NO, NO, HE HAS A PARAGRAPH 573 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:51,717 IN THE BOOK OF MY LIFE, 574 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:55,561 BUT YOU... YOU HAVE CHAPTERS. 575 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,658 ALL RIGHT? 576 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,589 NOW LET'S GO GET THIS HOUSE, 577 00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,755 AND LET'S WRITE A WHOLE BUNCH MORE. 578 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,433 - TSK. 579 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,462 HOWARD JONES? 580 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,966 - I LIKED HIS HAIR AND HIS BLAZERS. 581 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,297 SO, WE OKAY? 582 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,636 - YES! - YEAH. 583 00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:11,640 - PFF! - PFF! 584 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:12,871 - [laughs] YES. 585 00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:15,805 - OKAY. OKAY. 586 00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,382 - DUDE, YOU GOTTA DIVORCE HER, MAN. 587 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,310 - YEAH, I AM NOT DOING THAT. 588 00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,376 [cheering] 589 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,383 YEAH! 590 00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,775 - OW! 591 00:21:23,816 --> 00:21:25,546 - [laughs] - GO! 592 00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:26,615 WELL, YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HOUSE. 593 00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:28,023 - DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT? 594 00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:30,564 LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BEGRUDGE HER SEXUAL PAST, 595 00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,090 BUT I DON'T WANT TO EAT NEAR IT. 596 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:35,094 DANTE, LET'S DO IT, BABY! 597 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,927 WHOO HOO HOO HOO! 598 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,904 I KIND OF HAD DINNER WITH THAT GUY THE OTHER NIGHT. 599 00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:41,602 - THE KITCHEN. - WHAT? 600 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,374 - I BET THAT'S WHERE IT STARTED. 601 00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:45,103 COLLEEN TOTALLY SEEMS LIKE THE KIND OF CHICK 602 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,667 YOU JUST KIND OF BREAK HER IN RIGHT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE. 603 00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:48,777 GET HER RIGHT UP THERE... 604 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,778 - OKAY, BOUNDARIES. 605 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:50,909 - IS THERE A MUDROOM? - YES. 606 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:53,013 - OKAY, THEY PROBABLY JUST GOT RIGHT DOWN TO BUSINESS 607 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,745 BEFORE THEY EVEN TOOK THEIR SHOES OFF. 608 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,621 - I COULD ACTUALLY PROVIDE YOU WITH A FLOOR PLAN 609 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,649 SO YOU CAN MORE ACCURATELY IMAGINE HIM VIOLATING MY WIFE. 610 00:21:58,685 --> 00:22:00,115 - THAT WOULD BE HELPFUL. - OKAY. 611 00:22:00,152 --> 00:22:02,722 - BY THE WAY, NOT MY FAULT THE PLACE IS SEXUALLY HAUNTED. 612 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:03,955 ALL RIGHT? WHY DON'T YOU JUST BE A MAN ABOUT IT 613 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,060 AND PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN? 614 00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:07,761 - YOU ARE SO CLEARLY NOT MARRIED, IT'S ALMOST CUTE. 615 00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:10,704 COLLEEN IS HEAD OVER HEELS FOR THIS HOUSE, DAN. 616 00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:12,500 SHE'S ACTUALLY SET UP ANOTHER PRIVATE VIEWING 617 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,102 FOR LATER ON TODAY. 618 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:15,803 THERE'S NOTHING ELSE THAT I CAN DO ABOUT IT. 619 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,365 - OH HO. OH, NO, THERE IS ONE THING. 620 00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:18,244 - WHAT? 621 00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:19,910 - IF YOU WISH TO SLEEP UNDER THE ROOF 622 00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,769 WHERE THE UNSPEAKABLE DEED TOOK PLACE, 623 00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:24,038 YOU MUST BANG THE DEMONS AWAY. 624 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,076 - OH, YOU MEAN, LIKE... 625 00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:28,112 - A SEXORCISM. 626 00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:31,079 - HUH? - THANK YOU. 627 00:22:31,117 --> 00:22:33,717 - RIGHT? - THANK YOU, POTHEAD, 628 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:35,523 FOR ANOTHER COMPLETELY UNHELPFUL SUGGESTION. 629 00:22:35,555 --> 00:22:36,985 - WHAT? NO. NO, NO, NO, MAN. 630 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:40,033 YOU JUST--YOU REPLACE HER CRAZY MUDROOM SEX... 631 00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:41,129 - I GET IT. 632 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,960 - WITH YOUR OWN MUDROOM SEX, MAN. 633 00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:44,395 THAT'S IT. BOOM, IT'S DONE. 634 00:22:44,431 --> 00:22:45,771 SEXUAL HAUNTING FINITO. - RIGHT. 635 00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,528 - IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE TO ME. 636 00:22:47,567 --> 00:22:49,567 [applause] 637 00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:50,642 - OR I COULD BE A SOBER ADULT. 638 00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:55,612 I COULD DO TO COLLEEN EXACTLY WHAT SHE DOES TO ME 639 00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:57,542 EVERY TIME SHE WANTS TO PISS ON MY PARADE. 640 00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,047 I COULD UNDERCUT AND NITPICK. 641 00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:01,478 I COULD FIND FAULT IN EVERY ROOM IN THAT HOUSE. 642 00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:02,854 - I LIKE MY IDEA BETTER. 643 00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:05,122 - BOOYAH! - THERE. 644 00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:07,991 - AS YOU REMEMBER, THE REAR GARDEN 645 00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:10,020 IS LINED WITH BOTH DWARF KOREAN LILACS 646 00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:11,856 AND HANGING BOUGAINVILLEAS 647 00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,691 TO AFFORD THE UTMOST OF PRIVACY. 648 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,556 - YEAH, WELL, IF YOU ASK ME, 649 00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:17,504 YOUR DRAINAGE IS 15% TO 18% OFF GRADE. 650 00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:19,530 - I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR NUMBERS. 651 00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,796 - WELL, I GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOUR NUMBERS. 652 00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:25,070 UH... 653 00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,514 OH! BINGO. 654 00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:28,039 RODENT DROPPING. 655 00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:29,884 - UH, ACTUALLY, I BELIEVE 656 00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:31,579 THAT'S THE HEAD OF A WOOD SCREW. 657 00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:32,581 - UH... 658 00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:33,412 - OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 659 00:23:33,446 --> 00:23:36,476 WOULD YOU EXCUSE US FOR A SECOND? 660 00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:38,116 - WHAT? 661 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:40,150 - OKAY, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY STILL UPSET. 662 00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:42,016 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 663 00:23:42,054 --> 00:23:43,164 - THEN WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A GHOSTBUSTER? 664 00:23:43,189 --> 00:23:45,119 - I JUST DON'T WANT US TO SINK OUR HARD-EARNED SAVINGS 665 00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:46,657 INTO A MONEY PIT. 666 00:23:46,693 --> 00:23:48,503 - SO YOU'RE JUST BEING FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE 667 00:23:48,528 --> 00:23:49,798 AND NOTHING ELSE IS BOTHERING YOU? 668 00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:51,859 - WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME DO MY WORK? 669 00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:57,036 [horror movie music] 670 00:23:57,069 --> 00:23:58,199 671 00:23:58,237 --> 00:24:00,607 [zipper sound] [Colleen giggling] 672 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,140 - IS THAT ALL FOR ME? 673 00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:04,184 [giggling] 674 00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,054 [horror movie music] [Colleen giggling] 675 00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:17,186 I AM SO GLAD TOMORROW'S MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY. 676 00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,693 [giggling] 677 00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:24,195 678 00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:26,070 [giggling, dance music playing] 679 00:24:26,098 --> 00:24:27,198 OUCH! 680 00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:29,203 THAT'S HOT. 681 00:24:29,235 --> 00:24:32,235 WAIT. WHO'S YOUR FRIEND? 682 00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,571 - IT'S FRICKIN' EVERYWHERE! 683 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,577 - WHAT? WHAT IS? 684 00:24:36,609 --> 00:24:37,809 - THE GHOST OF YOUR SLUTTERY. 685 00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:40,584 - WHOA! THAT IS NOT COOL. 686 00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:41,613 AND THAT IS NOT A WORD. 687 00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:43,578 - OKAY, LET'S DIAL IT DOWN. 688 00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:47,116 WE'VE ALL HAD SEX IN MANY, MANY PLACES, 689 00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:50,293 BUT LET'S NOT ALLOW ONE TRAMP'S SORDID INDISCRETION 690 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,632 GET IN THE WAY OF ALL-TIME-LOW MORTGAGE RATES. 691 00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:53,929 - WOW, YOU TOLD HIM. 692 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,600 - IT JUST SLIPPED OUT, OKAY? 693 00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:56,628 I AM A GOOD PERSON! 694 00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:57,863 - [laughs] - OKAY! 695 00:24:57,897 --> 00:25:00,927 IT'S TIME TO PULL OUT THE BIG GUNS. 696 00:25:00,967 --> 00:25:03,237 THERE'S ONE ROOM I HAVEN'T SHOWN YOU. 697 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:08,978 - [gasps] 698 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,778 SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! 699 00:25:10,810 --> 00:25:13,650 - WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW US THIS ROOM BEFORE? 700 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:14,510 - I HONESTLY DIDN'T THINK 701 00:25:14,547 --> 00:25:16,217 YOU WERE GONNA QUALIFY FOR THE LOAN, 702 00:25:16,248 --> 00:25:17,548 SO KUDOS. 703 00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:20,324 - THIS COULD BE MY ROCK ROOM, COLLEEN. 704 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,692 I MEAN, THIS-- 705 00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:23,221 I COULD DO MY MIX SAMPLES IN HERE. 706 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:25,185 I COULD ROCK OUT ON THE DRUMS. 707 00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:26,234 - I'LL WAIT OUTSIDE. 708 00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:27,028 - MY PLAYS! COLLEEN, 709 00:25:27,059 --> 00:25:27,889 I COULD FINISH WRITING MY PLAYS. 710 00:25:27,927 --> 00:25:30,197 [door closes] - OH, IT WOULD BE NICE 711 00:25:30,229 --> 00:25:32,059 TO PUT FRAIL WINTER ON ITS FEET. 712 00:25:32,098 --> 00:25:33,628 - LOOK, I'M SKEEVED OUT. 713 00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:35,196 THAT MUCH WE KNOW. 714 00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:37,274 BUT I REALLY LOVE THIS HOUSE, 715 00:25:37,303 --> 00:25:39,043 AND I WOULD LOVE TO MAKE THIS OUR HOME. 716 00:25:39,071 --> 00:25:41,571 - I KNOW. I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE COMING AROUND ON THIS, 717 00:25:41,608 --> 00:25:43,178 BECAUSE IT REALLY WAS NO BIG DEAL. 718 00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,179 - GREAT. TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS. 719 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:45,710 - WHAT? 720 00:25:45,745 --> 00:25:47,305 - COME ON, WE GOTTA SEXORCISE THIS HOUSE, COLLEEN, 721 00:25:47,346 --> 00:25:48,276 AND WE'RE ON THE CLOCK. 722 00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:49,884 - JUDD, YOU'RE SCARING ME. 723 00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:51,646 - NO! WE GOTTA PURGE THE SEXUAL GHOSTS 724 00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:53,354 WITH A NEW MEMORY, BANG THE DEMONS AWAY. 725 00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,715 - BANG THE DEMONS AWAY? THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT? 726 00:25:55,755 --> 00:25:57,755 - YOU HAD CRAZY SEX WITH THIS GUY, RIGHT? 727 00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:59,060 NOW YOU GOTTA HAVE CRAZIER SEX WITH ME. 728 00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:01,161 LET'S WRITE A NEW CHAPTER IN THIS HOUSE-- 729 00:26:01,193 --> 00:26:03,363 A DIRTY ONE. 730 00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,665 - OKAY, LET'S GO. 731 00:26:05,698 --> 00:26:07,268 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WORKED. 732 00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:08,899 Chad: ME, EITHER. 733 00:26:08,935 --> 00:26:10,295 - GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR, CHAD. 734 00:26:10,336 --> 00:26:12,666 - LEAVING! - I WANT SOME OF THAT 735 00:26:15,675 --> 00:26:17,205 - HOO HOO HOO! - THAT WAS GOOD, RIGHT? 736 00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:19,053 - [laughs] I AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOSTS. 737 00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:21,608 - HEY, IF YOU TWO HAVE ANY ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS, 738 00:26:21,648 --> 00:26:23,048 DARYL, THE OWNER, JUST DROPPED BY. 739 00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:24,322 - OH. - OH. 740 00:26:24,350 --> 00:26:27,220 UM, ARE YOU OKAY? 741 00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:28,623 - YEAH, I'M COOL. 742 00:26:28,655 --> 00:26:30,055 I JUST MARKED MY TERRITORY. 743 00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,889 DO I LOOK OKAY? 744 00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:34,264 - YEAH, YOU HAVE SEX HAIR. - SEX HAIR'S PERFECT. 745 00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:35,933 HEY! HEY, BUDDY, GREAT HOUSE. 746 00:26:35,962 --> 00:26:38,232 - YEAH. HAD SOME GOOD TIMES HERE. 747 00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:42,374 - OKAY, SO WE'RE THERE. 748 00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:44,741 HI, DARYL. [laughs] THIS IS AWKWARD, HUH? 749 00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:47,771 - WELL, SURE. I MEAN, NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO SELL THEIR HOUSE. 750 00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:49,407 HEY, THEY CAN BLAME OBAMA, 751 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,711 BUT IT STARTED WITH BUSH, RIGHT? 752 00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:52,183 - [laughs] 753 00:26:52,211 --> 00:26:54,011 - REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU. 754 00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,306 - NO, IT'S COLLEEN. 755 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:58,047 - IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, COLLEEN. 756 00:26:58,084 --> 00:26:59,794 - WOW. 757 00:26:59,819 --> 00:27:03,419 OKAY...WOW. 758 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,725 UM...CHAD? 759 00:27:05,758 --> 00:27:08,388 CAN YOU SHOW ME THAT DRAINAGE PIPE THING? 760 00:27:08,427 --> 00:27:09,857 - I'VE ALREADY SHOWED YOU THAT-- 761 00:27:09,896 --> 00:27:11,026 - SHUT UP, CHAD. 762 00:27:13,399 --> 00:27:15,399 - DARYL? - HMM? 763 00:27:15,434 --> 00:27:19,244 - UM, LOOK, UH... 764 00:27:19,271 --> 00:27:20,341 HEH HEH. - WHAT? 765 00:27:20,372 --> 00:27:23,342 - I, UH... I GOT A FAVOR TO ASK. 766 00:27:23,375 --> 00:27:24,435 IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD, 767 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:26,776 UH, BUT, UH... 768 00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:30,123 LOOK, APPARENTLY, A FEW YEARS AGO, 769 00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:32,349 YOU HAD SEX WITH THE MISSUS. 770 00:27:32,384 --> 00:27:33,894 - WHAT? 771 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,450 - YEAH. - UH, NO. 772 00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:36,957 - YEAH. - I DON'T THINK SO. 773 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,189 OR... 774 00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:42,834 OH, LOOK, IF YOU GUYS ARE INTO SOME WEIRD SWINGERS THING-- 775 00:27:42,862 --> 00:27:43,902 - NO, NO, NO. 776 00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:45,060 AND WE COULD DO A LOT BETTER, SO... 777 00:27:45,097 --> 00:27:49,337 UM, BUT YOUR PATIO IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. 778 00:27:49,368 --> 00:27:51,938 THE BARBE--UH... 779 00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:53,941 LOOK, MAN, YOU HAD SEX WITH MY WIFE. 780 00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:55,343 YOU DID. THINK ABOUT IT. 781 00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:56,844 LATE '90s. 782 00:27:56,876 --> 00:27:59,206 YOU, UH...YOU MET HER AT A SIMPLE MINDS CONCERT. 783 00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:00,745 YOU REMEMBER SIMPLE MINDS, HUH? 784 00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:04,050 DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME 785 00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:05,893 I'LL BE ALONE 786 00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:07,818 SOMETHIN', SOMETHIN' 787 00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:09,164 MOLLY RINGWALD 788 00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:11,458 both: HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY 789 00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:13,860 OOH OOH-OOH OOH 790 00:28:13,893 --> 00:28:15,493 WHOA 791 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,297 - YEAH, I REMEMBER. 792 00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:18,329 - MY WIFE? 793 00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:20,204 - NO, THE SONG. 794 00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:22,502 - UH, REALLY? 795 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,474 OKAY, FAIR ENOUGH. 796 00:28:24,503 --> 00:28:28,143 UM, OKAY, LOOK, I LOVE MY WIFE. 797 00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:29,884 I THINK SHE'S UNFORGETTABLE, 798 00:28:29,909 --> 00:28:32,749 AND BECAUSE I ALWAYS WANT TO MAKE HER FEEL THAT WAY, 799 00:28:32,779 --> 00:28:34,379 AND I'M GUESSING, UH, 800 00:28:34,413 --> 00:28:37,383 YOU'RE PROBABLY LOOKING FOR FULL ASKING PRICE? 801 00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:38,916 I GOT A LITTLE, UH... 802 00:28:38,951 --> 00:28:40,351 I GOT A LITTLE PROPOSITION FOR YOU. 803 00:28:42,421 --> 00:28:45,021 OH, THAT'S IT. JUST LAY IT ON THICK. 804 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,487 DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING BEFORE. 805 00:28:46,525 --> 00:28:47,525 IT WAS TOO AWKWARD. 806 00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:49,299 SIMPLE MINDS. 807 00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:50,958 YOU'RE THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY. 808 00:28:50,997 --> 00:28:53,227 OH, NO, DON'T GO FOR THE HUG. 809 00:28:53,265 --> 00:28:54,465 OH! HE WENT IN FOR THE HUG. 810 00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:56,340 - AND SCENE. 811 00:28:56,368 --> 00:28:58,468 - GET OUT, CHAD. - OKAY. 812 00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:04,514 - WELL, SAY GOOD-BYE TO ROUSCHER MEADOWS. 813 00:29:04,543 --> 00:29:06,313 - WHY? 814 00:29:06,345 --> 00:29:07,505 - IT'S JUST TOO AWKWARD 815 00:29:07,546 --> 00:29:09,816 WITH THE SEX AND HIM NOT REMEMBERING IT. 816 00:29:09,849 --> 00:29:11,979 I KNOW YOU PUT HIM UP TO IT, ALL RIGHT? 817 00:29:12,018 --> 00:29:14,318 HIS PERFORMANCE WAS STIFF AND REHEARSED. 818 00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:15,393 AND YOU KNOW, SOMETHING HE SAID 819 00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,361 SOUNDED VAGUELY FAMILIAR. 820 00:29:17,389 --> 00:29:20,859 "THE MEMORY OF OUR TORRID AFFAIR 821 00:29:20,893 --> 00:29:22,563 HAS TURNED MY WINTER HEART TO SUMMER." 822 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:24,904 THAT'S THE LINE FROM YOUR PLAY, JUDD. 823 00:29:24,931 --> 00:29:26,971 - IT'S ALSO A BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED THOUGHT, COLLEEN. 824 00:29:26,999 --> 00:29:28,369 - [laughs] 825 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,170 THANKS FOR BEING SUCH AN EASY MAN TO LOVE. 826 00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:33,273 - YEAH, WELL, THANK YOU FOR LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH. 827 00:29:33,305 --> 00:29:34,435 - [laughing] 828 00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:38,378 - I'LL MISS YOU ROUSCHER MEADOWS! 829 00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:40,450 - OH HO HO, NO, WE'LL BE BACK. 830 00:29:40,479 --> 00:29:42,819 MIDNIGHT TONIGHT, 831 00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:44,449 WE ARE EGGING THIS BASTARD'S HOUSE. 832 00:29:44,483 --> 00:29:45,553 - OH, HO HO. 833 00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:47,454 I LIKE IT. 834 00:29:49,221 --> 00:29:52,161 [upbeat piano] 835 00:29:52,191 --> 00:29:57,361 836 00:29:57,396 --> 00:29:59,366 - THESE HAVE BEEN THE HAPPIEST SIX DAYS, 837 00:29:59,398 --> 00:30:00,868 FIVE NIGHTS OF MY LIFE. 838 00:30:00,900 --> 00:30:03,500 - SI, JULIA. IT'S VERY SAD. 839 00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:05,135 I MISS. 840 00:30:05,171 --> 00:30:06,471 - I MISS, TOO. 841 00:30:06,505 --> 00:30:08,605 HOW AM I GONNA GO BACK TO WICHITA AFTER THIS? 842 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,410 - IF YOU LIVE IN THIS WICHITA, 843 00:30:10,442 --> 00:30:11,412 IT MUST BE HEAVEN. 844 00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:13,853 - WE DO HAVE A TAQUITO HEAVEN. 845 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,310 THEIR SALSA VERDE GOT THREE SOMBREROS 846 00:30:15,347 --> 00:30:16,517 IN THE LOCAL PAPER. 847 00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:18,318 I WISH I COULD SHOW IT TO YOU. 848 00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:19,590 - SHH. 849 00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:23,258 NOT TO SPEAK. 850 00:30:23,289 --> 00:30:26,089 SAY "PRUNES," HMM? 851 00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,155 ALL THE SUPERMODELS SAY "PRUNES." 852 00:30:28,194 --> 00:30:30,404 - PRUNES. 853 00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:35,965 - MY CAMERA WAS STOLEN RIGHT AFTER WE TOOK IT. 854 00:30:36,002 --> 00:30:37,872 THANK GOD I'D DOWNLOADED THE PHOTOS. 855 00:30:37,904 --> 00:30:40,374 DARN, JULIA, YOU GO TO RIO AND FALL IN LOVE. 856 00:30:40,406 --> 00:30:42,166 ALL I GET'S A MONTHLY HUG AND TUG 857 00:30:42,208 --> 00:30:44,008 FROM THE MEAT GUY AT THE SUPER SHOP. 858 00:30:44,043 --> 00:30:45,443 JUST SHOWS TO GO YA. 859 00:30:45,477 --> 00:30:46,907 - WILL YOU TWO HENS STOP CLUCKING? 860 00:30:46,946 --> 00:30:48,076 GO BACK TO THE PART 861 00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:49,454 WHERE MARCELO CHANGED ON THE STREET 862 00:30:49,481 --> 00:30:50,651 INTO HIS BATHING SUIT. 863 00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:51,652 - NO, THAT WAS ME. 864 00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:53,923 - OH. WELL, HE MUST HAVE CHANGED AT SOME POINT. 865 00:30:53,953 --> 00:30:55,493 - I WISH I HAD YOUR BALLS, JULIA. 866 00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:57,321 YOU JUST DO THINGS. 867 00:30:57,356 --> 00:31:00,456 - WELL, MY FATHER ALWAYS SAID, "DO THINGS, JULIA." 868 00:31:00,492 --> 00:31:02,392 - SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT MAN. 869 00:31:02,428 --> 00:31:05,258 SO, DO YOU THINK YOU'LL SEE MARCELO AGAIN? 870 00:31:05,297 --> 00:31:07,327 - WELL, I'VE GOT ANOTHER VACATION IN 11 MONTHS, 871 00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:09,336 AND YOU BETTER BELIEVE I'M GONNA BE READY. 872 00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:11,068 - I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL. 873 00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:12,473 - WELL, I MIGHT AS WELL. 874 00:31:12,504 --> 00:31:14,644 I'LL JUST WASTE IT ON SCRATCH TICKETS AND INSULIN. 875 00:31:14,673 --> 00:31:17,513 - GOT SOME SAD NEWS, PEOPLE. 876 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,653 NANCY GOT INTO A BOATING ACCIDENT. 877 00:31:19,678 --> 00:31:22,408 - WAIT, BLONDE NANCY OR BLACK NANCY? 878 00:31:22,448 --> 00:31:24,348 - BLACK NANCY. - OHH! 879 00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:26,053 - NOT SURE SHE'LL BE COMING BACK. 880 00:31:26,085 --> 00:31:29,455 NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE'LL BE PASSING AROUND A CARD LATER. 881 00:31:29,488 --> 00:31:34,958 DENNIS, LET'S TRY AND KEEP OUR REMARKS PG. 882 00:31:34,994 --> 00:31:37,604 - JEEZ. YOU DRAW ONE WINKING PENIS 883 00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:40,129 ON A BIRTHDAY CAKE. 884 00:31:40,166 --> 00:31:41,396 - I WONDER WHO'LL GET HER CORNER CUBICLE. 885 00:31:41,433 --> 00:31:42,633 - KAREN, IT'S TOO SOON. 886 00:31:42,668 --> 00:31:44,598 BESIDES, YOU DON'T JUST GET THE CORNER CUBE. 887 00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:46,206 YOU HAVE TO EARN IT. 888 00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:49,008 NANCY LED THE "PAPERLESS CHARGE" BACK IN '06. 889 00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:51,611 SHE WORKED 12 YEARS WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE SICK DAY. 890 00:31:51,643 --> 00:31:54,453 - UNTIL THE BOATING ACCIDENT. 891 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,220 MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO UNVEIL 892 00:31:56,248 --> 00:31:57,978 THAT BIG IDEA OF YOURS, JULIA. 893 00:31:58,017 --> 00:31:59,047 - WHAT IDEA? 894 00:31:59,085 --> 00:32:00,445 NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT ANY IDEA. 895 00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:02,086 AM I BEING FIRED? 896 00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,491 - NO, IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 897 00:32:03,522 --> 00:32:05,562 IT'S JUST SOMETHING TO COUNTERACT THE BAD PRESS WE GOT 898 00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:08,261 AFTER THE HUFFING INCIDENT AT WITZEL JUNIOR HIGH. 899 00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:10,464 MAYBE IF IT COMES UP, I'LL MENTION IT. 900 00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:12,596 - HEY, FORWARD ME SOME OF THOSE PHOTOS. 901 00:32:12,631 --> 00:32:14,571 THE WIFE AND I ARE DUE FOR A VACATION, 902 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,270 AND I'D LOVE TO SPEND SOME TIME IN MARCELO. 903 00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:19,513 I MEAN, RIO... WHERE I WOULD BRING VIVIAN 904 00:32:19,538 --> 00:32:23,978 FOR PURPOSES OF SEX IN HER VAGINA. 905 00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:26,610 [Mozella's Gonna Getcha] 906 00:32:26,645 --> 00:32:30,215 YOU COME WITH THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYES 907 00:32:30,249 --> 00:32:33,219 UH, UH, I'M GONNA GETCHA 908 00:32:33,252 --> 00:32:35,422 UH, MMM, OH 909 00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,394 I'M GONNA GETCHA 910 00:32:37,423 --> 00:32:41,093 MM MM MM MM MM 911 00:32:41,127 --> 00:32:42,127 - JULIA! 912 00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:44,201 - OH, MARCELO. 913 00:32:44,230 --> 00:32:46,200 - JULIA! 914 00:32:46,232 --> 00:32:47,372 - MARCELO? 915 00:32:47,399 --> 00:32:49,439 - JULIA! 916 00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:54,040 JULIA! 917 00:32:54,073 --> 00:32:56,213 ESPLENDIDO WICHITA! 918 00:32:56,242 --> 00:32:59,352 [Brazilian Carnival music] 919 00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:03,420 - MARCELO, HOW DID YOU-- WHAT DO YOU-- 920 00:33:03,449 --> 00:33:05,519 - SHH. NOT TO SPEAK. 921 00:33:05,551 --> 00:33:07,521 I MUST BE WITH YOU NOW. 922 00:33:07,553 --> 00:33:09,523 - I'LL BUZZ YOU IN. - HUH? 923 00:33:09,555 --> 00:33:11,715 - BUZZ? YOU KNOW, BUZZ? 924 00:33:11,757 --> 00:33:13,127 - WHO'S BUZZ? 925 00:33:13,159 --> 00:33:15,029 A BOYFRIEND? I WILL KILL HIM! 926 00:33:15,061 --> 00:33:16,731 - NEVER MIND. I'LL COME AND GET YOU. 927 00:33:16,762 --> 00:33:19,572 [Chica Chica Boom Chic] 928 00:33:19,598 --> 00:33:22,168 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS. 929 00:33:22,201 --> 00:33:23,371 - WHY NOT? 930 00:33:23,402 --> 00:33:24,542 I HAD MILE POINTS. 931 00:33:24,570 --> 00:33:26,070 AND I HAD TO SEE YOU. 932 00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:32,535 933 00:33:32,578 --> 00:33:34,748 - WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? 934 00:33:34,780 --> 00:33:37,080 - YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING. 935 00:33:37,116 --> 00:33:39,786 I CARE FOR YOU, JULIA. 936 00:33:39,818 --> 00:33:42,088 I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 937 00:33:42,121 --> 00:33:43,561 - I CARE ABOUT YOU, TOO. 938 00:33:43,589 --> 00:33:49,429 939 00:33:49,461 --> 00:33:50,601 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 940 00:33:50,629 --> 00:33:52,559 - TO MAKE YOU DINNER. 941 00:33:52,598 --> 00:33:54,628 - OH. 942 00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:56,266 BUT IT'S MIDNIGHT. 943 00:33:56,302 --> 00:33:58,442 - SHH. 944 00:33:58,470 --> 00:34:00,410 - NOT TO SPEAK, RIGHT? 945 00:34:00,439 --> 00:34:08,449 946 00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:12,352 OH, NO. YOUR SHIRT. 947 00:34:15,321 --> 00:34:17,091 I SEE NO SHIRT. 948 00:34:17,123 --> 00:34:25,133 949 00:34:30,436 --> 00:34:32,536 [timer dings] 950 00:34:33,539 --> 00:34:35,309 DINNER IS SERVED. 951 00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,418 - YOU SMELL LIKE SEX AND BOOZE. 952 00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:45,780 - THAT'S BECAUSE WE HAD WINE WITH DINNER 953 00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:47,347 AN HOUR AGO. 954 00:34:47,386 --> 00:34:48,786 I BARELY GOT ANY SLEEP. 955 00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:50,420 YOU WANT TO HEAR HOW HE WOKE ME UP? 956 00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:51,686 - YEAH. [cell phone rings] 957 00:34:51,723 --> 00:34:54,463 - OH, VIVIAN, THIS IS A BAD TIME. 958 00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:56,163 NAG. 959 00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:58,225 LIKE SHE'S THE FIRST PERSON TO HAVE A BIOPSY. 960 00:34:58,264 --> 00:35:00,504 ANYWAY, BACK TO MARCELO BEING NAKED. 961 00:35:00,532 --> 00:35:04,272 - JULIA, KAREN TELLS ME YOU HAD A GEM OF A MARKETING IDEA. 962 00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:05,803 - OH, YES, SURE. 963 00:35:05,837 --> 00:35:08,467 WELL, IT'S TO COUNTER THE BAD PRESS WE GOT 964 00:35:08,507 --> 00:35:09,707 FROM THE WITZEL HUFFING INCIDENT, 965 00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:11,741 TO MAKE THE STUDENTS NOT WANT TO HUFF THEM. 966 00:35:11,777 --> 00:35:13,407 "UNHUFFABLES," IF YOU WILL. 967 00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:14,775 - "UNHUFFABLES." 968 00:35:14,813 --> 00:35:17,553 WELL, IT'S FUN TO SAY. 969 00:35:17,583 --> 00:35:18,683 I'D LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT IT. 970 00:35:18,717 --> 00:35:19,917 WE'LL SEE IF THERE'S EXTRA TIME 971 00:35:19,951 --> 00:35:21,491 IN THIS AFTERNOON'S MEETING. 972 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:23,390 [cheerful Latin guitar music] 973 00:35:23,422 --> 00:35:25,492 - YOU'VE GOT A GREAT SEX LIFE, 974 00:35:25,524 --> 00:35:27,464 A GOOD IDEA, AND THE BOSS'S EAR. 975 00:35:27,493 --> 00:35:29,533 OH, I SMELL THE CORNER CUBICLE. 976 00:35:29,561 --> 00:35:31,431 AND A LITTLE WINE STILL. 977 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,433 I'LL GET YOU MY TOOTHBRUSH. 978 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:35,565 SOMETIMES I SLEEP HERE. 979 00:35:35,601 --> 00:35:37,301 THERE'S NO REASON TO GO HOME. 980 00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:42,509 [strumming] 981 00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,911 HEY HEY HEY HEY 982 00:35:44,943 --> 00:35:46,453 983 00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:51,578 OOH OOH OOH OH OH OH 984 00:35:52,518 --> 00:35:53,888 - MARCELO, WHAT ARE YOU... 985 00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:55,349 - MOMENTO. 986 00:35:55,387 --> 00:35:58,557 [playing guitar] 987 00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:01,960 [singing Don't You (Forget About Me) in Portuguese] 988 00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:10,903 989 00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:14,236 NOW NOW NOW NOW 990 00:36:15,541 --> 00:36:17,481 - I WANT TO KILL MYSELF. 991 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:18,939 - I WANT TO KILL VIVIAN. 992 00:36:18,977 --> 00:36:21,207 - MARCELO, HOW DID YOU GET PAST SECURITY? 993 00:36:21,247 --> 00:36:22,907 THEY'VE BEEN REALLY STRICT SINCE THE SHOOTING. 994 00:36:22,948 --> 00:36:25,478 - WELL, YOU CANNOT DENY A MAN ENTRANCE 995 00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:27,787 WITH SUCH LOVE IN HIS HEART. 996 00:36:27,819 --> 00:36:29,389 COME WITH ME. 997 00:36:29,421 --> 00:36:31,261 I WANT TO DIE INSIDE YOU PRESENTLY. 998 00:36:31,290 --> 00:36:33,530 - OH, MY. 999 00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:34,859 WELL, THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL, BUT I CAN'T-- 1000 00:36:34,893 --> 00:36:35,863 I CAN'T REALLY LEAVE. 1001 00:36:35,894 --> 00:36:37,834 - WELL, I THINK YOU CAN. 1002 00:36:37,863 --> 00:36:39,873 - NO, YOU SEE, THERE'S THIS MEETING, 1003 00:36:39,898 --> 00:36:41,998 AND I TOLD MY BOSS-- 1004 00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,403 DO YOU KNOW THE WORD "CUBICLE"? 1005 00:36:43,435 --> 00:36:47,665 - WHATEVER IT IS, I WILL EAT IT OFF YOU. 1006 00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,606 - OH, FOR GOD SAKES, JULIA. 1007 00:36:49,641 --> 00:36:51,641 - [whispering] GO WITH HIM, YOU DUMB BITCH. 1008 00:36:51,677 --> 00:36:54,347 - AW, SCREW THE MEETING. 1009 00:36:54,380 --> 00:36:57,350 [Flamenco music] 1010 00:36:57,383 --> 00:36:58,553 1011 00:36:58,584 --> 00:37:00,894 [moaning] 1012 00:37:02,421 --> 00:37:04,621 OH. OH, GOD. 1013 00:37:04,656 --> 00:37:07,356 I FEEL A LITTLE BAD ABOUT MISSING THE MEETING. 1014 00:37:07,393 --> 00:37:08,463 - SHH. 1015 00:37:08,494 --> 00:37:10,534 - OKAY, SORRY. 1016 00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:12,462 - MARCELO BE BACK SOON. 1017 00:37:12,498 --> 00:37:13,528 - OKAY. 1018 00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,625 [breathing heavily] 1019 00:37:15,667 --> 00:37:18,567 OKAY, TAKE YOUR TIME. 1020 00:37:18,604 --> 00:37:21,414 [cell phone chimes] - YOUR THIGHS ARE MY CHURCH. 1021 00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:29,448 - ESPLENDIDO WICHITA. 1022 00:37:29,481 --> 00:37:30,581 - SI, SI. 1023 00:37:30,616 --> 00:37:32,546 BRAVO, MARCELO. 1024 00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:37,464 [chimes] 1025 00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:41,325 OH! 1026 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:42,460 - YEE-HEE! 1027 00:37:42,494 --> 00:37:43,504 - YOU LIKE? 1028 00:37:43,529 --> 00:37:45,729 - OOH, VERY, VERY MUCH. 1029 00:37:49,735 --> 00:37:50,865 - YOU WERE WORKING? 1030 00:37:50,902 --> 00:37:52,442 - NO. 1031 00:37:52,471 --> 00:37:53,441 MAYBE A LITTLE. 1032 00:37:53,472 --> 00:37:55,812 - BECAUSE I WAS WORKING VERY HARD. 1033 00:37:55,841 --> 00:37:56,911 - OOH. 1034 00:37:56,942 --> 00:37:59,352 - THIS IS DISCOURAGING. 1035 00:37:59,378 --> 00:38:02,708 - I'M SORRY. I'M JUST A LITTLE STRESSED ABOUT WORK. 1036 00:38:02,748 --> 00:38:04,418 - IN BRAZIL, IT'S SIMPLE. 1037 00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:05,620 WHEN YOU WORK, YOU WORK. 1038 00:38:05,651 --> 00:38:07,421 WHEN YOU SEX, YOU SEX. 1039 00:38:07,453 --> 00:38:08,293 - OH, MMM. 1040 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,920 YES, BUT A CUBICLE BECAME AVAILABLE, 1041 00:38:10,956 --> 00:38:13,386 AND I'M A LITTLE WORRIED. 1042 00:38:13,425 --> 00:38:14,385 - CUBICLE? 1043 00:38:14,426 --> 00:38:15,756 THAT'S WHAT YOU WORRY ABOUT? 1044 00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:18,504 THE JULIA I MET IN RIO HAD NO STRESS. 1045 00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:19,970 SHE WAS HAPPY. 1046 00:38:19,998 --> 00:38:21,668 - YES, HAPPIER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN. 1047 00:38:21,700 --> 00:38:23,540 BUT THAT WASN'T REAL JULIA. 1048 00:38:23,569 --> 00:38:25,469 THAT WAS VACATION JULIA. 1049 00:38:25,504 --> 00:38:26,474 - ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 1050 00:38:26,505 --> 00:38:28,605 - YES, WITH YOU, 1051 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,540 BUT I NEED TO WORK, AND IT'S HARD. 1052 00:38:30,576 --> 00:38:32,476 I DON'T KNOW HOW IT IS IN BRAZIL, 1053 00:38:32,511 --> 00:38:36,451 BUT THE DRY-ERASE MARKET HERE IS VERY COMPETITIVE. 1054 00:38:36,482 --> 00:38:38,352 OOH. 1055 00:38:38,384 --> 00:38:39,554 - KNOW WHAT I THINK? - WHAT? 1056 00:38:39,585 --> 00:38:41,115 - I THINK VACATION JULIA 1057 00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,462 IS THE REAL JULIA. 1058 00:38:44,590 --> 00:38:46,060 OOH! 1059 00:38:46,091 --> 00:38:48,431 - OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE MOVING TO BRAZIL! 1060 00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:50,600 - YES, HE ASKED ME TO GO TO BRAZIL, 1061 00:38:50,629 --> 00:38:51,499 BUT I CAN'T, CAN I? 1062 00:38:51,530 --> 00:38:53,530 - YES. YES, YOU CAN. 1063 00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:55,095 DO IT! 1064 00:38:55,133 --> 00:38:56,573 WHAT THE HELL IS KEEPING YOU HERE? 1065 00:38:56,602 --> 00:38:58,102 - WELL, I FINALLY FEEL LIKE 1066 00:38:58,136 --> 00:39:00,406 I FINALLY HAVE A SHOT AT THE CORNER CUBICLE. 1067 00:39:00,439 --> 00:39:02,569 - WOMAN, I SWEAR TO CHRISTMAS, 1068 00:39:02,608 --> 00:39:04,038 IF YOU DO NOT GET ON THAT PLANE, 1069 00:39:04,075 --> 00:39:06,075 I WILL GO CHIMP ATTACK ON YOUR FACE 1070 00:39:06,111 --> 00:39:07,511 AND MAKE THAT CUBICLE YOUR TOMB! 1071 00:39:07,546 --> 00:39:10,476 - DENNIS, GO GET A DRINK OF WATER. 1072 00:39:10,516 --> 00:39:11,576 - RIGHT. 1073 00:39:11,617 --> 00:39:14,587 - JULIA, LOOK AT MY FACE. 1074 00:39:14,620 --> 00:39:16,120 DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? 1075 00:39:16,154 --> 00:39:18,624 BECAUSE THIS IS WHO YOU'RE GONNA BE SEEING IN THE MIRROR 1076 00:39:18,657 --> 00:39:19,627 TEN YEARS FROM NOW. 1077 00:39:19,658 --> 00:39:21,388 - KAREN, LET'S BE FAIR. 1078 00:39:21,427 --> 00:39:22,527 MY DIET IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM YOURS. 1079 00:39:22,561 --> 00:39:26,161 I MEAN, YOU SHOTGUN GRAPE SODA AND LIVE ON SLIM JIMS. 1080 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:29,497 - IT IS CALLED COPING, JULIA. 1081 00:39:29,535 --> 00:39:31,565 YOU KNOW WHEN THAT SHOOTER WALKED PAST MY DESK? 1082 00:39:31,603 --> 00:39:33,513 I TOUCHED HIS SHOE 1083 00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:35,809 JUST TO MAKE HUMAN CONTACT. 1084 00:39:35,841 --> 00:39:37,711 I WANT MORE FOR YOU. 1085 00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:39,513 YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. 1086 00:39:39,545 --> 00:39:40,845 - THAT'S WHAT MARCELO SAID, 1087 00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:42,549 THE LAST PART, I MEAN. 1088 00:39:42,581 --> 00:39:43,681 - HE'S RIGHT. 1089 00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:45,515 YOU HAVE TO THINK LONG AND HARD 1090 00:39:45,551 --> 00:39:47,151 ABOUT WHAT IT IS THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, 1091 00:39:47,185 --> 00:39:49,915 AND THEN YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT. 1092 00:39:55,527 --> 00:39:58,727 - HEY. I'M SO GLAD YOU PACK SO LITTLE. 1093 00:39:58,764 --> 00:40:02,634 MOST OF THE TIME, YOU'LL BE WEARING NOTHING BUT SAND. 1094 00:40:02,668 --> 00:40:05,098 - OH, I'M SO GONNA MISS THAT. 1095 00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:06,806 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1096 00:40:06,838 --> 00:40:08,538 - I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU. 1097 00:40:08,574 --> 00:40:10,144 THIS IS YOUR SHIRT. 1098 00:40:10,175 --> 00:40:11,435 MY CO-WORKER DENNIS 1099 00:40:11,477 --> 00:40:13,077 IS GONNA KILL ME FOR GIVING IT TO YOU. 1100 00:40:13,111 --> 00:40:15,681 - BUT I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. 1101 00:40:15,714 --> 00:40:17,224 - AND YOU DID. 1102 00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:18,878 YOU GAVE ME A HAPPY VACATION, 1103 00:40:18,917 --> 00:40:20,717 BUT I NEED TO GIVE ME A HAPPY LIFE. 1104 00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:21,952 - BUT ONLY YESTERDAY, WE-- 1105 00:40:21,987 --> 00:40:23,117 - NO, SHH, NOT TO SPEAK. 1106 00:40:23,154 --> 00:40:25,524 MARCELO, MY DARLING, 1107 00:40:25,557 --> 00:40:28,127 YOU'RE BRAZILIAN AND AMAZING, 1108 00:40:28,159 --> 00:40:31,529 AND WHAT YOU'RE OFFERING ME IS RIDICULOUSLY TEMPTING. 1109 00:40:31,563 --> 00:40:33,833 BUT I'M AN AMERICAN. 1110 00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:35,625 I LIKE TO WORK. 1111 00:40:35,667 --> 00:40:37,967 I LIKE TO WORK MYSELF TO THE BONE. 1112 00:40:38,003 --> 00:40:39,473 AND YOU KNOW WHY? 1113 00:40:39,505 --> 00:40:40,805 BECAUSE THERE'S AN OFF-CHANCE 1114 00:40:40,839 --> 00:40:42,139 SOMEONE ABOVE ME MIGHT NOTICE 1115 00:40:42,173 --> 00:40:43,643 AND GIVE ME A RAISE. 1116 00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:45,835 AND THEN I CAN BE A HOMEOWNER. 1117 00:40:45,877 --> 00:40:49,517 I WANT TO TAKE OUT A MORTGAGE ON A HOUSE I CAN'T AFFORD. 1118 00:40:49,548 --> 00:40:50,778 - WELL, THIS PLACE LOOKS NICE. 1119 00:40:50,816 --> 00:40:52,716 - KEEP DRIVING. - REALLY? 1120 00:40:52,751 --> 00:40:54,251 - OH, YEAH, ALL OVER THE BREAKFAST NOOK. 1121 00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:55,245 UP TOP. 1122 00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:56,316 - WOW. - I'M NOT KIDDING. 1123 00:40:56,354 --> 00:40:59,064 SERIOUSLY, IT WAS MY STUDY BUDDY FROM HIGH SCHOOL. 1124 00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:00,560 - YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. 1125 00:41:00,592 --> 00:41:02,192 - I WANT TO SPEND THE LITTLE LEISURE TIME I HAVE 1126 00:41:02,227 --> 00:41:04,527 PLOPPED IN FRONT OF A GIANT FLAT-SCREEN TV. 1127 00:41:04,563 --> 00:41:08,073 - JUST MOVE THE JOYSTICK AND HIT THE "X" BUTTON. 1128 00:41:08,099 --> 00:41:10,069 crowd: OOH! 1129 00:41:10,101 --> 00:41:11,241 - LIKE THAT? 1130 00:41:11,269 --> 00:41:13,539 - [laughing] YEAH, JUST LIKE THAT. 1131 00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:17,781 - BUT THANK YOU, MARCELO. 1132 00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:21,279 THANK YOU FOR TEACHING ME THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD I WORK, 1133 00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:24,252 THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR A LITTLE VACATION JULIA. 1134 00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:25,552 YOU'LL ALSO NOTICE... 1135 00:41:25,584 --> 00:41:28,194 AND AS MUCH AS I WANT TO MAKE LOVE 1136 00:41:28,219 --> 00:41:30,019 ON THE SANDY BEACHES OF RIO, 1137 00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:33,625 MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD... 1138 00:41:33,659 --> 00:41:36,899 I WANT THAT CORNER CUBE. 1139 00:41:36,928 --> 00:41:39,728 - YOU KNOW WHAT, DENNIS? 1140 00:41:39,765 --> 00:41:40,595 I WISH A GUY LIKED ME ENOUGH 1141 00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:42,932 SO I COULD BREAK HIS HEART LIKE THAT. 1142 00:41:42,968 --> 00:41:43,938 - ME, TOO. 1143 00:41:43,969 --> 00:41:45,639 I MEAN, WITH A CHICK. 1144 00:41:45,671 --> 00:41:46,911 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 1145 00:41:46,938 --> 00:41:48,838 - LA LA LA LA LA LA 1146 00:41:48,874 --> 00:41:51,684 WHEN YOU WALK ON BY 1147 00:41:51,710 --> 00:41:54,950 LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA 1148 00:41:54,980 --> 00:41:57,980 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 78102

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