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¶ Huhh ¶
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¶ hahh ¶
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Captioning made possible by
lions gate entertainment.
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There you are.
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Meli...
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man: Oh, God!
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Oh, God. Come on.
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Melinda!
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Open up! It's me!
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Man: Hey, asshole!
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Use the door knocker.
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Oh.
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Oh! Oh, I love you!
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Melinda!
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Are you all right?!
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Oh, God! Danny, it's him!
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He followed us here!
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Hey, there is
somebody else in there!
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Open this door!
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Melinda! I...
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aah!
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Hey, hey, hey!
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Aah!
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Call the police!
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Unh!
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Hey, asshole, try the doorknob!
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Let me in!
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Get your hands off her!
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You.
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What? Meli...
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Jesus chr...
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you're screwing your husband?!
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Your husband.
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He followed me here,
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and we realized
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we deserve each other.
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Isn't that romantic, Dr. Klink?
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Roger.
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Call me Roger,
for Christ sakes.
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Maybe you should try going home
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00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,800
and working it out
with your wife.
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Go to hell, Roger.
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Ex-wife, ex-home, ok?
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Melinda: I understand now
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that I was transgressing
my love for Dan onto you,
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and you were
countertransgressing.
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Transferring! Bullshit!
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Yeah, any time a shrink
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00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:02,960
is thinking about a patient
more than he normally does,
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he should ask himself,
"am I countertransferring?"
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Shut up. You can't even
get an erection, for God s...
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I just had one, buddy.
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Hair! Hair!
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He's biting!
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Dan: I got him!
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Melinda: Dr. Paige,
thank God you're here.
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3 peas in a pod.
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Emily, they were fornicating
like a couple of honeymooners.
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Dr. Paige, Melinda and I
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have worked through
our problem.
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Shut up. You...
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aah! Dr. Paige!
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Aah!
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It's all right! It's ok! Sorry!
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It has a hair trigger. It's ok.
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Hey, hey, put the
gun down, Dr. Paige.
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Shoot them, Emily.
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This is all your fault, Roger!
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Everything could've
been so different!
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Oh, sorry. Sorry. It's touchy.
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It's touchy.
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Melinda, come back in here!
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Emily, I understand
you're upset.
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Sometimes you just
have to let it out.
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Just try and let it out.
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Save your
engaging devices, Roger.
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No more bullshit!
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None!
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I've come for us!
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Sorry! Sorry.
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Over here! Over here!
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Hurry! Hurry! Over here!
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Hurry! Dr. Paige has a gun.
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Who's Dr. Paige?
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Our marriage counselor.
She's gonna kill
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my husband and Dr. Klink.
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Your marriage counselor's
gonna kill your husband?
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And Dr. Klink.
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Dr. Paige, hi.
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Uh, I wanna thank you
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for giving Melinda and I the...
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the tools to help communicate
and share our feelings.
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Shut up! Ok.
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Emily, you're very upset.
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Sometimes we can feel
as if our lives
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are just spiraling
out of control,
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just spiraling.
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Save your psychobabble
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for your little
Doe-eyed patients, Roger.
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Ok. Ok, terrific.
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You two obviously
have some issues
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you need to work through.
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Thank God.
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No. No. Wait. Move it, klink.
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Out of my way!
Mel, it's me! Open up!
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Dan: Somebody help me!
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Melinda: Don't worry, Danny!
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Wow. What do we got, sir?
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Hostage situation.
2 therapists.
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Domestic or international?
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Therapists. Shrinks.
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Shrinks?
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It's a joke, right?
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Some kind of surprise party?
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It's not a goddamn party.
It's very serious.
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Her marriage counselor's
threatening to kill
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her husband and her therapist.
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He's not technically
my therapist.
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Hey, you're the lady
from those sex tapes.
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Sex tapes? What sex tapes?
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His hands were under my dress,
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firmly holding on to my hips,
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moving me back and forth
away from him.
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Ok, maybe I better
start at the beginning.
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About 2 years ago,
Danny lost his erection.
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You gotta see these tapes, sir.
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Pretty soon, Danny and me
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weren't even talking, and then.
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Danny slept with
that cocktail waitress.
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I thought he couldn't
get an erection.
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So did I. Right.
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Our marriage was doomed.
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Then I saw Dr. Paige's ad
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on a bus bench.
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"Save your marriage today."
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"Tomorrow will be too late."
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Her big deal is honesty.
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Honesty first.
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The key is honesty.
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Marriage is hard.
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I know. I've been
married 3 times.
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You're divorced?
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3 times. That's why I
speak from experience...
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what kind of track record is
that for a marriage counselor?
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Dan! Dan? What, "Dan"?
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Come on. We're taking
marriage advice
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from somebody
that's been divorced
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and advertises
on bus benches. Wh-what?
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Stay with us, Dan.
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You know the story
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00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,800
about the guy who goes
to the barbershop.
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There are 2 barbers,
both available.
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One barber has
a terrific haircut.
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The other barber's hair
looks just awful.
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Which barber would you go to?
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You'd go to the barber
with the bad haircut,
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not the barber with
the good haircut, see?
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00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,640
The bad haircut cuts
the other one's hair,
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and vice versa.
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That is why it is
actually a plus
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that I'm thrice divorced.
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Ok.
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Let's start over.
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What do you want
out of this therapy?
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We...
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I wanna save our marriage.
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Uh, yeah. Me... me, too, yeah.
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Great.
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Now talking about our problems
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is the first step.
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You can tell me anything,
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and hopefully you two can learn
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to communicate honestly
with each other.
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What's the problem?
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Well, uh...
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Danny and me...
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We haven't been...
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Familiar with each other
in a while.
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"Familiar"?
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Intimate.
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No sexual intercourse?
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Jesus, lady.
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What about oral sex
or mutual masturbation?
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Oh, my God, Mel.
Let's get outta here.
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00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,120
We don't need to see
some shrink.
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00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,040
No. I think we do, Dan.
187
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,440
He has a problem with...
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00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,240
don't. Come on. Why?
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00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,200
Mr. Happy.
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00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:15,120
"Mr. Happy"?
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00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,160
His penis.
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00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,160
My... just say it! Penis!
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00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,760
I can't get my penis
to stand up.
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00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,360
I-I-I'm impotent or something.
195
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,760
I can't wake the baby.
196
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,880
I-I've... I can't get a hard-on!
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00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,480
Is everybody happy now?!
Can we go?
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00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,280
Dan is impotent.
199
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,080
Only with me.
200
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,200
That was an accident.
201
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,320
Dan accidentally screwed
that cocktail waitress!
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00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,120
I thought Dan couldn't
get an erection.
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00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,160
So did I.
204
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,160
Well, Melinda's been
so damn depressed
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00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:37,960
lately, you know?
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00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,520
It's pretty depressing
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00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,600
when you can't excite
your own husband.
208
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,800
Great. We have made
some real progress.
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00:10:56,520 --> 00:11:00,160
All those in favor,
raise your hands.
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00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,760
Dr. Paige.
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00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,720
You may rejoin the group.
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00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,200
Dr. Paige, it is the duty
of this committee
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00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,000
to defend the integrity
of the psychiatric arts
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00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,120
in the Boise, nampa,
Caldwell tri-city area.
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00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,360
Dr. Paige...
216
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,600
if we allow bus bench
advertising, what's next?
217
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,040
Billboards?
218
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:38,680
Cable TV?
219
00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,920
Following our bylaws
220
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,360
pertaining
to outdoor advertising,
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00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,480
the fine is set at $250.
222
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,440
Roger!
223
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,480
Huh? Oh.
224
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,640
Hello, Emily.
225
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,640
Sorry about the fine.
226
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,400
Ah, it's only 250 bucks.
227
00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,520
I'll write it off. Oh.
228
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,280
Besides, I already got
a couple of clients
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00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,840
from the bus bunch.
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00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,400
It's funny.
I was thinking about you
231
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:06,400
the other day.
232
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:07,960
Me? Really?
233
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,840
Are you seeing anyone new?
234
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,240
Oh, I'm s-still married.
235
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,720
I... I meant patients.
236
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,240
Th-there's a woman
I'd like you to see.
237
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,040
She's very, very depressed.
238
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,720
I think her depression
is at the root
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00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,640
of her sexual problems
with her husband.
240
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,560
You could really help her.
241
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,440
I've been scaling back.
I'm not really adding patients.
242
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,720
Well, we talked about
how great it would be
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00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:28,600
to collaborate sometime,
244
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:29,480
and this couple's perfect.
245
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,920
Uh, marriage is on the rocks.
246
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,000
I'll take the boy.
You take the girl.
247
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,280
We can confer and strategize,
248
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,640
see if together we can
help save their marriage.
249
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,240
How's your wife?
250
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,880
Ok.
251
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,720
And your husband?
252
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,520
Uh, th-the new one.
253
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,640
He's my new ex.
254
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,440
I moved out last weekend.
255
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,640
Really? Just...
256
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,520
Like that.
257
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,480
Just like that.
258
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,000
It's for the best.
259
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,160
So what do you say?
260
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,160
There's nothing else to say.
261
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,040
Dan's gone off me.
262
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,720
This is a waste of time.
263
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,200
Ok, I feel like we're stuck.
264
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,080
Melinda, I want you
to see a colleague of mine.
265
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,560
You're giving up on me?
266
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,480
I want you to see Dr. Klink.
267
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,600
He's something
of a depression expert
268
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,640
from the old school.
269
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,360
What's a depression expert?
270
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,680
What a cliché.
271
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,800
First the affair in Denver.
272
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,360
Then the red corvette.
273
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:40,040
What's next,
face-lifts and liposuction?
274
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,360
"Desire fades."
275
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,400
Pssh. That's a...
276
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,920
Who is she? Hmm?
277
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,320
Hmm?
278
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,200
Is it your new receptionist?
279
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,960
You think I need liposuction?
280
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,600
You're not rehashing
Denver, are you?
281
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,680
Are you?
282
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:57,800
Are you screwing
Dr. Rice again?!
283
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,400
No! There's no one! There w...
284
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,920
We're not happy.
285
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,080
Go to hell, Roger.
286
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,240
Asshole.
287
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,520
Door, please.
288
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,400
Unsafe at any speed.
289
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,680
Oh, the elevator?
290
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,720
No, your corvette.
291
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:19,160
"Unsafe at any speed."
292
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,960
That's a corvair,
"unsafe at any speed."
293
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,680
It looks just like a corvette.
294
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,760
Funky elevator.
295
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,240
I try not to speak ill of it.
I got stuck once.
296
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,160
By yourself?
297
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,080
Yeah.
298
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,440
How boring.
299
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,880
Heh.
300
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,880
Is that why you carry
a change of clothes?
301
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,680
Oh, this. No.
302
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:03,160
I left my wife just now,
this morning.
303
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,200
You're kidding.
304
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,280
Is this your floor?
305
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,440
Yes.
306
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,640
I'm here to see Dr. Klick.
307
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,960
He's an old-fashioned
depression expert.
308
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,400
You mean Dr. Klink?
309
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,840
Yes.
310
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,160
I'm Dr. Klink.
311
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,200
You're Dr. Klink? Heh.
312
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,600
You're kidding.
313
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,040
I pictured a bald head,
long face, pointy beard.
314
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,600
Who called me old-fashioned?
315
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,840
Dr. Paige.
316
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,080
Y-you mean Emily?
317
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:56,760
Well, anyway,
I'll see you inside.
318
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,000
Inside and out, I suppose.
319
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,160
On the ins...
320
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,080
ins... in... in my office.
321
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,280
This is my door.
322
00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,800
Oh.
323
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,720
Patients go in
that door over there.
324
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,400
Wait.
325
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,880
Your tie's crooked.
326
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,320
I guess your wife
didn't check you
327
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,000
before you left the house.
328
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,520
Just go right in.
329
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,960
Tuesday, June 16...
330
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,320
Testing 1, 2. 1, 2.
331
00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,680
Test... goddamn.
332
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,280
Dr. Klink.
333
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,000
Yes?
334
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,200
Your 9:45 is here.
335
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,000
O... yes. Yes.
336
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,200
Test 1, 2. 1, 2.
337
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,000
Test 1, 2, 3.
338
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,640
Shit.
339
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,640
Sorry. Test 1, 2, 1, 2.
340
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,440
Test...
341
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:18,920
come in.
342
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,120
It's very cold in here.
343
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:30,640
Well, you'll need to...
344
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,040
Remember a sweater.
345
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,920
No, no. I meant the decor.
346
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,000
It's... it's so blue.
347
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,600
Alrighty.
348
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,120
Mrs. Carmichael,
would you like to sit here.
349
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,440
Is that where you
want me to sit?
350
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,880
I don't want you to
sit anywhere. I mean...
351
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,440
I see.
352
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,000
What happened
to that friendly man
353
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,160
I met on the elevator?
354
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,000
Look, uh, we had
an inappropriate debut,
355
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:00,800
but I...
356
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,640
is that what we had?
357
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,560
Yes, we... please.
358
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,160
So, um...
359
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,480
Why are you here?
360
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,600
I'm trying to save my marriage.
361
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,920
Ah.
362
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,440
I've been so depressed lately.
363
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,240
I keep thinking it'll pass,
364
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,280
but it doesn't.
365
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,320
You're a little hangdog
one morning.
366
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,760
Then suddenly you're
on a shrink's lap.
367
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,080
Chair. Heh.
368
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,480
Heh heh heh.
369
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,560
Well, you don't...
370
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,000
Seem very depressed
right this moment.
371
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000
I'm not.
372
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,400
I was.
373
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,800
I almost didn't get
off the elevator.
374
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,400
It's pretty depressing to think
375
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,600
you need to see
a depression expert.
376
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:53,040
My marriage expert's
been divorced 3 times.
377
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,480
You must be really depressed.
378
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,560
Let's...
379
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:05,960
Um, so, w-why don't you, um,
tell me more about you?
380
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:12,320
I'm married to a man who
doesn't get turned on by me.
381
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,600
Ah.
382
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:17,720
Do you blame me?
383
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,440
Why would I blame you?
384
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,320
Not me. Uh, him.
385
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,200
I... I di... I... I asked
if you blamed your husband.
386
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,160
No, you said, "me."
"Do you blame me?"
387
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,240
No, I di... I... I meant...
388
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,000
Your husband, of course.
389
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000
Of course.
390
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,200
Dan started sleeping
391
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,440
in the living room on the couch
392
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,720
that's the beginning
of the end,
393
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,120
don't you think?
394
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,360
It certainly suggests
395
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,800
a lack of intimacy.
396
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:51,640
We stopped being intimate
almost 2 years ago.
397
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,000
I shouldn't tell you this.
398
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,040
No, no.
399
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,000
You just... no, no.
400
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:58,760
Dr. Klink.
401
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,280
No, no, no. I'm s...
402
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,200
please, sit down.
403
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,000
I...
404
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,000
You can tell me
anything that...
405
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,680
Really. It's...
406
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,880
One night, I get up
to use the bathroom,
407
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,360
and I looked in on Dan.
408
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:24,280
He sleeps in his boxers,
and it was a hot night,
409
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,760
and the covers were off,
410
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,880
and so I could see his...
411
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,600
Mr. Happy.
412
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,280
Mr. Happy?
413
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,440
His thingy.
414
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,640
His pe...
415
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,240
uh, member.
416
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:37,920
Peeking out.
417
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,600
So I decided to try
a little experiment
418
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,560
to see if Dan was broken
419
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,200
or if he'd just gone off me.
420
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,240
An experiment?
421
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,880
I snuck up...
422
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,000
On my knees,
423
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:58,840
and with my mouth, I...
424
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,760
Kissed...
425
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,400
Mr. Happy.
426
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,760
Ohh.
427
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:11,960
But when I tried to make love,
428
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,720
he... his...
429
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,560
It fizzled away
430
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,440
when he woke up and
realized it was me.
431
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,000
Dan's gone off me.
432
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,640
Desire fades.
433
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,280
That... that is
a depressing thought.
434
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:26,320
Yes. It I...
435
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,040
I'm sorry.
436
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,720
I'm sorry.
437
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,880
I'm in a transitional
phase in my life,
438
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,560
and I...
439
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,240
I'm not taking...
440
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,080
taking on any more patients.
441
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,040
But see, you helped me already.
442
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,000
Really, I can't.
443
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,160
If there were 2 shrinks
in a small town
444
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,760
and one was crazy
and the other sane,
445
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,200
which one would you go to see,
the crazy one or the sane one?
446
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,680
I've never heard of
this one before.
447
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,120
You'd go to the crazy one.
448
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:55,560
'Cause if there were
only two in the town,
449
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,160
you'd wanna see the one
who helped the other one.
450
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,160
O... you mean if there
were just the two
451
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,080
and they were each... I see.
452
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,440
Dr. Klink,
453
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,120
your 10:30's here.
454
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,840
You hear that?
Do you hear that?
455
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,480
I mean, I...
456
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,760
Would love to just sit...
457
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:16,520
just to s-sit here
and talk with you...
458
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,080
All afternoon.
459
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:24,040
But if I run even 5 minutes
over on one session,
460
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,920
my whole week
could be thrown off.
461
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,000
Hell, the rest of my life.
462
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,800
You know...
463
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,880
I'd gladly recommend
to you someone else.
464
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,280
Um, this is a list of qualified
465
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,040
mental health
professionals in Boise.
466
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,680
Meli...
467
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,160
Dr. Klink, what are you doing?
468
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,840
I'm chasing after you.
469
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,040
What about your 10:30?
470
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,600
No, just... I just, uh...
471
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,560
Well, I...
472
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,840
I left my wife, and...
473
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,160
Since you're not my... my patient
474
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,280
and since this...
475
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,120
Well, since this
isn't my office,
476
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:30,240
I...
477
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,480
It's stuck again.
478
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,000
Mmm. Dr. Klink...
479
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:52,880
no. Roger.
480
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,160
That was so therapeutic.
481
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,760
Listen, we... you shouldn't
call me Dr. Klink.
482
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,600
It might give people
the wrong impression.
483
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,960
I... mmm.
484
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,880
But I... I feel so free and open.
485
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,840
I wish Dan had come with me.
486
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,600
I mean, maybe he could
benefit from your expertise.
487
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,720
I don't feel depressed at all!
488
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,640
Hello!
489
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,560
Shh. Don't talk.
490
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,040
Dispatch: Breaker 1-12...
491
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,360
Uh...
492
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,600
Are you folks ok?
You seem flushed
493
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,040
and out of breath. No.
494
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:27,920
See you next week, Dr. Klink.
495
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,720
Uh, Roger.
496
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:36,240
I-I'm not actually
her doctor. It's a...
497
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,240
A figure of speech.
498
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,960
Melinda: He's a genius.
499
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,320
His method is so subtle.
500
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,080
It sneaked right up on me.
501
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,960
What did he do, exactly?
502
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,320
He got me to talk.
503
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,600
Sort of.
504
00:25:58,600 --> 00:25:59,840
How many sessions have you had?
505
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:01,520
Just the one.
506
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,520
What a man.
507
00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:05,600
He is a genius.
508
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,920
Dan: Hey, uh, hi.
509
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,960
What about my needs?
510
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,000
Am I a part of this
therapy stuff, or what?
511
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:18,840
"Mas... mastering masturbation"?
512
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,920
Oh, it's a wonderful guide...
513
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,400
techniques, fantasy games,
514
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,800
lubricants, all in
historical context.
515
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:28,120
Did you know that Edison
was an avid masturbator?
516
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,400
It's where he got
his best ideas.
517
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,480
No, e-Edison stole
his best ideas.
518
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,160
Whatever.
Maybe it was Einstein.
519
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,120
Heh heh.
520
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:38,200
You look fabulous.
521
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,440
Possible dissertation subject...
orgasms and happiness.
522
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,360
Why is it all the world
seems rosy...
523
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,080
It's Dr. Paige,
regarding Melinda.
524
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,040
I'll call her back.
525
00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,840
She's on her way in.
526
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,840
You son of a bitch.
I cannot believe
527
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,760
what you did with
Melinda Carmichael.
528
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:04,880
She told you?
529
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,360
Told me?!
It's all over her face.
530
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,680
I never took any money,
and all I did
531
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,720
was a preliminary interview,
so technically she...
532
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,600
it's absolutely wonderful.
533
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:17,600
Really?
534
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,960
Now the big challenge
is to somehow
535
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,360
get these 2 people to reconnect
536
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:22,160
emotionally and sexually.
537
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,680
Can I buy you lunch?
538
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,680
Today? Uh...
539
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,640
Well, I'm seeing
Mrs. Carmichael.
540
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,840
During lunchtime.
541
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,760
Ohh! Oh, Dr. Klink,
542
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,680
Roger. Roger.
543
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,680
Call me Roger.
544
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,280
Ohh. Ohh!
545
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,280
Oh! Oh, Dr. Klink!
546
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:41,480
Ohh! Look!
547
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,040
Ohh! A helicopter.
548
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,160
Wow.
549
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:57,440
Maybe it was a transplant.
550
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:58,600
What?
551
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,360
The helicopter...
552
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:04,680
Was carrying a little
white ice chest
553
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,040
with a red cross on it.
554
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,760
Imagine waking up
555
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,120
with a whole new heart,
Dr. Klink.
556
00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:15,240
Please, call me Roger.
557
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,680
Ohh. Danny and me used to have
558
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,720
so much in common.
559
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,880
Everything we did together
560
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,720
was making love, not just sex,
561
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,120
but cooking together.
562
00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:33,200
And then we took a trip
to salt lake city,
563
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:37,280
and he was like
my... my big brother
564
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,080
and my friend and...
565
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,760
I... Lover all rolled into...
566
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,520
I don't... ok. We have to talk.
567
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:47,400
I just... I've gotta listen
to patients all afternoon.
568
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,720
I'm just trying to tell you...
569
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,360
that I felt so good
570
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,600
since last week's session
571
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,360
that I told Danny about us.
572
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,640
You what? Yes.
573
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,920
You... you told your husband
about us?!
574
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,920
Ohh! Oh, my God!
575
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,680
It was amazing and spontaneous,
576
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,680
like we used to be.
577
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,640
What the hell did I do
to deserve this?!
578
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:13,560
You screwed
that cocktail waitress.
579
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:17,360
But it wasn't
spontaneous or amazing!
580
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,360
Aah!
581
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:19,360
You shouldn't have told him.
582
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:20,960
But you... you talked
about honesty.
583
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,000
No. No, no, no. Dr. Paige
talks about honesty.
584
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,080
I'm still on the fence.
Some lying is good.
585
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,560
You didn't give him
the details.
586
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,440
Wow. Elevator sex.
587
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:34,320
Damn. I've always
admired Melinda's spunk.
588
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:35,480
Larry!
589
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,600
Now you're even, bro.
590
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,040
How did he take it?
591
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:40,000
He followed me here.
592
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,520
He what? Shh, shh. Shh, shh.
593
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,800
I don't notice... is... ahh?
594
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:59,440
Oh, g... je...
595
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,120
Melinda, I...
596
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:05,200
it's over, you and me. It's...
597
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,160
Dan needs you. He loves you.
598
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:10,040
He followed you here.
Isn't that romantic?
599
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,160
Listen...
600
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,280
Take what you've gotten
out of our time together.
601
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,680
Focus it back on Dan.
602
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:17,640
Are you saying that
603
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,720
as my lover or my therapist?
604
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,000
Therapist.
605
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,240
I mean, if I was your therapist,
which I'm not, but...
606
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,400
You know, we have
nothing in common.
607
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,040
This isn't a relationship
608
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:29,040
based on mutual respect
609
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:30,400
or understanding
or common interests.
610
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,400
It's based on sex.
That's all. Ahh.
611
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,080
Take it. Uhh.
612
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:36,800
Oh, my God. We come
from different worlds.
613
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,800
I've got a phd, for God sakes.
614
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,640
You probably barely
graduated from high school.
615
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:42,640
I have an a.A.
616
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:43,760
From Boise community college
617
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:45,520
and a... and a certificate
618
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,120
of physical therapy!
619
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,720
Exactly. The two of you
are more suited.
620
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,440
You're p-perfect
for one anoth...
621
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,080
go home to what's his... Dan.
622
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,840
Mmm!
623
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,400
Divorced?
624
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,360
But you two were
doing much better.
625
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,640
I wish you'd never sent me
to see Dr. Klink.
626
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,240
Mmm. Therapy can
be very intense.
627
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:14,160
Especially oral therapy.
628
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,040
Dan, don't be crass.
629
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,160
Crass? It's pretty damn crass
630
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,920
without me saying
anything about it.
631
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,120
You had... they had sex
in an elevator.
632
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:21,880
What? Who did?
633
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,400
Dr. Klink and me.
634
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:24,920
You slept with Dr. Klink
in an elevator?
635
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,280
Oh, yeah, they slept.
636
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:27,640
Like a couple of dogs
in heat, they slept.
637
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,480
You're disgusting!
At least I didn't have to
638
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,560
bend over backwards
to get him aroused.
639
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,360
Oh, I thought that's
exactly what you did do
640
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,240
bastard!
I wanted this to work out.
641
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,960
Was the elevator
your idea or his?
642
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,280
Dan: Does it matter?
643
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,000
Heh.
644
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,560
You son of a bitch!
645
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,720
In the elevator.
In the elevator.
646
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:46,680
Emily, it just happened.
647
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,800
She wasn't technically
my patient.
648
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,200
Oh, save it for the board!
649
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,680
You didn't tell the board.
650
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,520
Of course I told the board.
651
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,520
This is outrageous!
652
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,360
Kindly keep your voice down.
653
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,120
The amount is regulated
by the bylaws.
654
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:05,520
Specifically number 47
calls for fines of up to $25
655
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:06,520
for inappropriate behavior.
656
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,000
Inappropriate behavior?!
657
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,440
He was having sex
with his patient
658
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,320
in an elevator.
659
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,200
Ah. She wasn't
technically his patient.
660
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,040
The minute she walked
into his office,
661
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,040
she was his patient.
662
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,040
No, no. Technically she was
663
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,480
your patient, Dr. Paige.
664
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:19,600
My patient?!
665
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:20,720
I think the fine is fair.
666
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,400
I was fined 250 bucks
667
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,480
for advertising on a bus bench.
668
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:27,000
He's fined $25 for
screwing in an elevator.
669
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,480
Byline 17 is very specific
670
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:30,600
with regards to
671
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,760
permissible
outdoor advertising.
672
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,720
A hooker costs more than that.
673
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,040
Dr. Paige, that's enough.
674
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,080
It is more than enough.
675
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,120
Who should I make
the check out to?
676
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,320
You hurt me, Roger.
677
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:41,520
All you had to do was call me.
678
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:42,800
Why didn't you just call me?
679
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:43,880
I'm sorry, Emily.
680
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,560
You will be.
681
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:51,400
Heh.
682
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,440
I really am sorry, Emily.
683
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,960
Let bygones be bygones?
684
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,440
Listen, Buster.
You're not off the hook.
685
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,320
You're going down.
You will lose everything...
686
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,680
money, your license.
687
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,000
By the time this is over,
you will never practice again.
688
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,920
What are you gonna do?
689
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:08,880
Nosta.
690
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,720
Nosta.
691
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,040
What the heck is a nosta?
692
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,800
The national organization
to stop therapist abuse.
693
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:22,920
National? I don't know
694
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,280
if this is
the right thing to do.
695
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,920
I really just want Danny back.
696
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,800
We need to teach
Dr. Klink a lesson.
697
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,560
Danny.
698
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:31,480
Hi, Mel.
699
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,040
Ok, let me do all the talking.
700
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,800
Wait, what law school was it
you said you went to?
701
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:37,680
Careful, toots.
702
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:38,560
You're the one who sent
703
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:39,800
my vulnerable sister-in-law
704
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,040
into the arms of
that Dr. Krink.
705
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,200
It's klink, Larry, and shut up!
706
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:44,960
You should have talked to me
707
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,840
before you called anyone.
708
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,760
We're gonna nail
that son of a bitch.
709
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,160
There she is.
710
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,520
Consuela Ann barker, esquire,
711
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,160
of barker, barker,
beacons & Bauer,
712
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,000
who represent nosta.
713
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,880
I'm the second barker.
You can call me Connie.
714
00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,320
You must be the victim.
715
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,400
Lawrence p. Carmichael,
esquire, a.B.D.
716
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,120
I'll be handling
all negotiations.
717
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,920
We'll hear your proposal.
718
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,680
Let me remind you you are
719
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,440
the very first national
abuse group we've contacted,
720
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,840
so we're looking for
a competitive preemptive figure
721
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:14,000
which will act as a deterrent
to other advocacy groups
722
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,880
which we may be inclined to go.
723
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:17,760
To.
724
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,640
All but degree. My client...
725
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:22,880
take a powder, Lawrence.
726
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,600
This is a serious situation.
727
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,320
You are way out of your league.
728
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,040
Take your pet monkey with you.
729
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:29,640
Just a second.
730
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,240
That's my husband.
731
00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:32,880
I need to speak
to you privately,
732
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,440
without the peanut gallery.
733
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:35,960
Connie: It's precisely
these gray-zone cases
734
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,000
that we must win.
735
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:38,640
We need to send a message,
736
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:39,600
a strong message.
737
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,560
We'll have to prove the doctor
738
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:41,800
took advantage
of your fragile ego
739
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:42,800
and lured you into
740
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,880
psychosexual emotional bondage.
741
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,080
Psycho what?
742
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:47,280
He is a master manipulator.
743
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,240
It is that quiet,
lost puppy quality.
744
00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:51,440
I felt an attraction
for Dr. Klink.
745
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,520
Transference refers
to strong feelings
746
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:54,560
that the patient... you...
747
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,160
erroneously transfers
to a therapist...
748
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,240
Dr. Klink... but which
in fact originated
749
00:34:58,240 --> 00:34:59,640
out of earlier relationships.
750
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,960
You mean like with
my husband, maybe?
751
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:08,320
Perhaps an even earlier
relationship.
752
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:11,640
Ahh. Hot.
753
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:12,680
Melinda, where did this
754
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:14,040
immoral congress transpire?
755
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:14,760
Immoral congress?
756
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,040
In a goddamn elevator.
757
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,000
Elevator sex. Whew.
758
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,120
And in his office.
759
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,080
On his couch?
760
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:19,960
And on the desk.
761
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:20,880
Mmm. And why did you go
762
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,240
to Dr. Klink
in the first place?
763
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,680
Dr. Paige sent me to him.
764
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,120
She said he would take care
of me the old-fashioned way.
765
00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:31,400
He's... he's a specialist,
a depression expert.
766
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,320
We met at a communication
conference, and...
767
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,320
we'll get it all
in the deposition.
768
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:35,880
My deposition?
769
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,160
You're a key witness.
770
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,720
Ok, let's, uh, skip
the elevator for now.
771
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:41,440
Take me through
this couch coupling.
772
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,240
Well, it's... it's
a little embarrassing.
773
00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:46,720
Um, we started on the desk.
774
00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:48,800
Have you ever heard
the name ezri stovall?
775
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:52,480
He is the malpractice
insurance go-to guy
776
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,240
in this region.
777
00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:56,000
He rarely loses, never settles.
778
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,560
He will be ruthless.
779
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,320
Now, I know this is difficult,
780
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,520
but it's important
that you recall
781
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,240
the exact details
782
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,960
and specific
sequence of events.
783
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,840
Well, um, it's a little hazy,
784
00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,640
but I know he, Dr. Klink,
785
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:12,600
went down on me.
786
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:13,880
Cunnilingus. You ok?
787
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,480
What else did he do?
788
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,760
I went down on him.
789
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:17,720
Fellatio!
790
00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:18,680
You know, I don't think
791
00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:20,720
we wanna play
this oral sex card.
792
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,560
It's illegal in this state.
793
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:23,320
It is?
794
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:24,280
It's sodomy.
795
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,960
Oral sex is sodomy?
796
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:27,680
"To carnally know any
male or female person
797
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,160
by the anus or mouth."
798
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,400
It's a class-a misdemeanor.
799
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,040
I don't wanna hurt Dr. Klink.
800
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:33,880
I just wanted
to save my marriage.
801
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,680
Being with Dr. Klink
made me realize
802
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,080
how much Danny and me
have in common.
803
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,840
We will crush Dr. Klink.
804
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:43,400
Look at you.
My God, just look at you.
805
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:44,520
Dr. Paige is right.
806
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,200
You poor, pathetic woman.
807
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,240
He's destroyed you.
808
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:53,320
Nice shot.
809
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,320
Hey. Hi.
810
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,080
Mind if I sit?
811
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,960
It's a free bar. Heh heh.
812
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,120
That lady lawyer
thinks a divorce
813
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,040
would be great for our case.
814
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,480
I don't want a divorce, Mel.
815
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:08,880
No?
816
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,520
No.
817
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,160
I... I just want you
to stop seeing him.
818
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,240
I'm not seeing him.
819
00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:19,360
So you don't want to split up?
820
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,080
No. No, not at all.
821
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:22,240
We can't split up, Mel.
822
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:25,200
You and I, we're like...
we're like a team.
823
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,400
Siegfried & Roy,
hall & oates, ham and cheese.
824
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,000
I'm sorry I strayed,
825
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,040
but you kind of
opened the door.
826
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,320
I wanted to talk
to you about that.
827
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:35,240
The truth is, Mel, I...
828
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:36,520
shh. Let's not talk about it.
829
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:40,080
Water down the drain, Dan.
Water down the drain.
830
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:50,560
Hey, how's that divorce coming?
831
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,400
Uh, please, counsel,
let's not lose sight
832
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,520
of the human element
in this tragedy.
833
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,920
You know, a divorce
would really help our case.
834
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,640
I'm working on it.
835
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,040
This is Joel Johnson Jr.
836
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,200
He's with beerquist,
angsthall & Cox.
837
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,440
Joel is our point man
here in...
838
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:10,720
Boise.
839
00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:11,680
Boise.
840
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:12,920
Boise.
841
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:14,160
Joel's come up with a figure.
842
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:18,000
How much money were
you hoping to see?
843
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,160
$30,000.
844
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:29,600
Heh. Million.
845
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,440
It's $30 million.
846
00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,040
$30 million?
847
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,240
$30 million?
848
00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:37,120
You've hit the jackpot,
Melinda.
849
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:38,640
Whoo-hoo! Yeah.
850
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,040
Dr. Klink doesn't
have $30 million.
851
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,400
No, Dr. Klink has
malpractice insurance,
852
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,360
and they've got $30 million.
853
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,040
Emily: Dear God.
854
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:48,720
I had no idea
it would be so much.
855
00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:51,480
There's not a better person
she could have screwed.
856
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:52,520
Except her priest.
857
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,560
Catholics pay
a shitload of money
858
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,200
to keep this kind of crap down.
859
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,160
I'm gonna get $30 million
860
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,160
for having sex with Dr. Klink?
861
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:00,120
In an elevator.
862
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:01,240
And on his desk.
863
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:02,600
$30 million.
864
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,520
Minus 30% contingency,
865
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,680
50% if we win on appeal.
866
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,840
How much more do you think
867
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,840
a divorce might net?
868
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,000
Why the hell are you suing me?
869
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,160
Um...
870
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,840
Because...
871
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,760
You took advantage
of my fragile ego
872
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,240
and got me in
a psychoemotional,
873
00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:37,760
sexual thing.
874
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:38,880
What?
875
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:39,960
Why don't you
take a walk, klink,
876
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,200
before I call the cops.
877
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:42,400
Oh, if it isn't
the erectionless wonder,
878
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,200
Mr. Happy!
879
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,760
You told him about Mr. Happy?
880
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,200
Dr. Klink, I told
you that in therapy.
881
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,360
First of all, it's Roger.
882
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,560
Secondly, it wasn't therapy.
You were never my patient.
883
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,920
Why don't you tell it
to the judge, Mr. Majestic?
884
00:39:56,240 --> 00:39:58,760
You told him
about Mr. Majestic?
885
00:39:58,760 --> 00:39:59,640
Dan is my husband.
886
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,560
I tell him everything.
887
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,480
Are you screwing yet?
888
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,400
There's more to our
relationship than sex.
889
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,360
There better be
with Mr. Limpy here.
890
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,200
You son of a...
891
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,200
Unh! Danny!
892
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,320
Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey.
893
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,280
Come on.
894
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:16,160
Come on.
895
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,120
I hope you fight better than...
896
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,880
aah! Aah!
897
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,440
Let go! No.
898
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:24,640
Come on, honey. Come on.
899
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,080
Why'd you have to
tell him about Mr. Happy?
900
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,400
It's ok. He's a doctor.
901
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,120
Don't sue me, Melinda.
902
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:31,880
I'll lose my license.
It's all I have.
903
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,720
I'm sorry. Good-bye, Dr. Klink.
904
00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:36,200
Come on. Roger.
905
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,160
Call me Roger.
906
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:46,680
Ezri stovall will
crush her like a bug.
907
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,080
We've gotta nip this kind
908
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,560
of frivolous litigation
in the bud.
909
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,440
People have to start
910
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,320
taking responsibility
for their actions.
911
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,160
Why'd you stop
sleeping together?
912
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,160
Makes it seem like
913
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,120
you thought you were
doing something wrong.
914
00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:06,040
It was an absolute taboo.
915
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:07,840
A therapist can never
have sex with a patient.
916
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,680
The moment you two screwed,
917
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,680
she became your lover,
918
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:14,200
thereby making it impossible
919
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,440
for her to ever
be your patient.
920
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:18,400
Where'd you bone her?
921
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,440
We made love in an elevator.
922
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,320
Elevator sex. I... pssh.
923
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,760
You're kidding me.
924
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,120
I'm in elevators all the time.
925
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,720
I know. I'm sorry.
926
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:31,960
How long would something
like that take?
927
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,720
It was over pretty quickly.
928
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,920
Mechanical failure?
929
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,080
Oh, no. She hit the stop.
930
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,360
Or, uh, m-maybe I did.
931
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,000
Is this really important?
932
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,200
Every detail is important.
933
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,000
You need booze?
934
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,000
Juries are fickle.
935
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,640
Something could
come out at the trial,
936
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,680
and you'll be screwed.
937
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:54,760
Any witnesses?
938
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,000
Other passengers?
939
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,240
No, of c... no, of course not.
940
00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:58,680
How about
a surveillance camera?
941
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,560
Oh, Jesus.
942
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:04,400
Well, there may not be one
if the elevator's old enough.
943
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,080
Please, God.
944
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:10,200
Ok, so, you're ballin' her.
945
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,320
Did you ejaculate?
946
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,040
W... uh, is there any way not to?
947
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,800
Not that I've found.
948
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,760
Did she mention any other
therapists she's slept with?
949
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,480
Other members
of the hippocratic arts?
950
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,480
Orthodontists? Podiatrists?
951
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:29,920
Clergy?
952
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:31,400
I don't know. I don't think so.
953
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,200
What about you?
954
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:35,280
How many other
nonpatient patients
955
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:36,800
have you banged? None.
956
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,280
You banging your receptionist?
957
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:39,920
Tiff... no.
958
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,760
Well, let ezri stovall
get to work.
959
00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:51,040
Clammy.
960
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:52,320
Heh heh heh heh heh heh.
961
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,320
Don't answer it, baby.
962
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,040
Oh.
963
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:06,720
Hello.
964
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:07,840
Helen, ezri.
965
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,320
Hi. What's up?
966
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,640
I've got something
for you. You free?
967
00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:13,400
Available. Never free.
968
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,080
Ha ha!
Never give it away, baby.
969
00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:18,440
Is that that sumbitch stovall?
970
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:19,880
She's spoken for!
971
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:21,480
Shh. This is business.
972
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:22,440
Ahh. Ahh.
973
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,120
I'm defending a headshrinker
974
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,920
who put his pecker
where he shouldn't have.
975
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,840
And she's suing him.
976
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:29,720
Bingo.
977
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:32,640
D-don't get it, baby.
978
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:33,480
Please. Hold on.
979
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,520
We haven't worked in a month.
980
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,840
I can't... I'm gonna...
981
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,480
Oww! Oh.
982
00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:45,160
Hello.
983
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:46,720
Is Felix Potter in?
984
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:49,000
He sure is.
985
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,920
Ahh. Goddamn.
986
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:54,600
Yeah, hello.
987
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:55,760
Felix Potter. Uh-huh.
988
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:56,920
Connie barker out of Chicago.
989
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:57,760
Joel Johnson of
990
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,600
beerquist, angsthall & Cox
991
00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,880
gave me your number. Uh-huh.
992
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:02,080
I'm looking for
a private investigator.
993
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:03,360
I'm representing the victim
994
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:05,240
in a therapist abuse case.
995
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:06,720
What do you got, ezri?
996
00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:08,200
I need to find out if
there's anything in his past
997
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,720
that might hurt us.
We're just starting depositions.
998
00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:11,880
Ahh. Ahh.
999
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,040
Ezri and Connie:
What's the matter?
1000
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:13,880
Nothing. Nothing.
1001
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,560
Radio.
1002
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,240
Connie: His name
is klink, Roger klink.
1003
00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:18,880
She's Melinda Carmichael.
The shrink is Roger klink.
1004
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:19,800
Dr. Klink? Yep.
1005
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:20,920
What's her name?
1006
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,040
Connie and Helen:
Melinda Carmichael.
1007
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:23,160
We're on the same case.
1008
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:24,480
Ezri: You'll get
your usual fee, Helen.
1009
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,680
I'd like to put you
on a retainer, Felix.
1010
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,200
I need some dirt on Dr. Klink.
1011
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:30,280
Uh-huh.
1012
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:31,360
Fax me everything you got.
1013
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:32,280
Uh-huh. Ok, ezri?
1014
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,880
I gotta go. I'm there.
1015
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,880
Interesting.
50 bucks an hour, plus expenses.
1016
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:39,760
Fax me at this number.
1017
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,680
Fax me. Fax...
1018
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,440
ahh!
1019
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,480
We're working
the same job again.
1020
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:52,920
You show me yours,
I'll show you mine.
1021
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,320
Ezri: Have you ever had
your deposition
1022
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,080
taken before, Mrs. Carmichael?
1023
00:44:59,080 --> 00:44:59,880
No.
1024
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:01,000
Do you understand
1025
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,920
that your testimony here today
1026
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,000
is given under oath
1027
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,360
and done just like in court?
1028
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,520
So despite the
informal setting,
1029
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:10,720
you are testifying
1030
00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:14,600
under penalty of perjury.
1031
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:17,120
I'm sorry. The tape jammed.
1032
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,120
I'll need a minute.
1033
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,320
It's his first day.
1034
00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:31,560
Is he gonna be here every day?
1035
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:33,760
It's his right.
1036
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,200
Videographer: Got it.
1037
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:40,400
Now, Mrs. Carmichael,
1038
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,080
were you carnally intimate
1039
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:43,040
with Roger klink?
1040
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:44,920
Carnally intimate?
1041
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:46,000
Sexually intimate.
1042
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,640
Melinda: Um, I guess so.
1043
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,160
I mean, we had sex.
1044
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,640
Would you please describe
in specific detail
1045
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:55,600
the first of these
1046
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,320
decorous unions
with Roger klink?
1047
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,440
Indecorous unions, counsel.
1048
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,520
Consenting adults
engaged in fornication...
1049
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,040
what could be
more decorous, counsel?
1050
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:07,080
How about if, for the purposes
of this deposition,
1051
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,680
we let the noun stand alone,
unqualified?
1052
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,160
Union, plain and simple.
1053
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:13,440
Fine.
1054
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:14,720
Mrs. Carmichael,
would you please
1055
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:18,840
walk me through
this initial union?
1056
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,160
What?
1057
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:21,480
Mr. Stovall would
like you to describe
1058
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,800
your first encounter
with Dr. Klink.
1059
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:25,560
Roger klink.
1060
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,240
He is a doctor, counsel.
1061
00:46:27,240 --> 00:46:30,360
Yes, counsel,
but not her doctor.
1062
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:31,640
How about if,
1063
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:32,920
for the purposes
of this deposition,
1064
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:37,000
we let the klink stand
alone, unqualified?
1065
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:38,840
Fine.
1066
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:41,600
Mrs. Carmichael,
1067
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,600
when you're ready.
1068
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:49,120
Well, we had, um...
1069
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:53,560
Sex in the elevator
of his building
1070
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,760
between floors.
1071
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:59,240
And would you describe
this union as standard?
1072
00:46:59,240 --> 00:47:00,800
What are you
getting at, counsel?
1073
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:02,640
I'm trying
to establish the mode
1074
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,440
by which they carnally
expressed themselves.
1075
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,560
Oh, you mean the way in which
they were carnally expressive.
1076
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:08,400
Precisely.
1077
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,560
Missionary? Front door?
1078
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,800
Back door?
1079
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,000
Roundy-round?
Were you prostrate?
1080
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,040
Plumb?
1081
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,000
Ingénue?
1082
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,480
Cou...
1083
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:19,920
well, he, um...
1084
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:21,160
He, um...
1085
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:23,480
Stopped the elevator,
1086
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:25,800
and we just kind of
moved at each other.
1087
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:26,600
Uh...
1088
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:28,520
Did he stop the elevator,
1089
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,040
or did you?
1090
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,640
One of us did.
I-it's a little hazy.
1091
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,760
Ok, but you made
the first move.
1092
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,280
You're leading
the plaintiff, counsel.
1093
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,360
We both moved at the same time,
1094
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:43,080
grabbed at each other. Doct...
1095
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:50,080
he was very excited.
1096
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,600
Klink told you he was excited?
1097
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:54,480
No.
1098
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:57,480
But... but I could feel his...
1099
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,360
Well, his...
1100
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,400
Mr. Happy was pressing up
against me.
1101
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:03,600
Mr. Happy?
1102
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:07,280
Well, that's what
my husband calls his...
1103
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,520
Johnson.
1104
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:11,240
Yes, counsel?
1105
00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:14,200
Not you.
1106
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,480
I'm, uh, referring to.
1107
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:19,040
Melinda's husband's Johnson.
1108
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:21,520
Klink's Johnson...
klink's penis.
1109
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:22,560
Could we stay focused
1110
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,520
on klink's penis
and not the husband's?
1111
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,160
Uh, Mrs. Carmichael,
1112
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,360
perhaps there's another
term we could use
1113
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,920
to describe
Roger klink's penis.
1114
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,560
Mr. Majestic.
That's what he calls it.
1115
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,440
Why didn't you tell me
your pecker has a name?
1116
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:44,520
Ehh... and that she knows it?
1117
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:46,800
I didn't think
it would come up, so...
1118
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,720
ohh!
1119
00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:50,520
I, uh...
1120
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,440
Had an affair 3 years ago.
1121
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:57,440
I mean, it was
a doctor in Denver.
1122
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,080
It was a seminal relationship.
1123
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:00,680
If I hadn't had the affair,
I never would've
1124
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,200
bought the corvette
or left my wife.
1125
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:03,600
Are you still seeing him?
1126
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,080
Him? No.
1127
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:06,560
It was a... a her.
Uh, she, doctor.
1128
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,600
Oh, right.
1129
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,600
It doesn't have any bearing
on this case.
1130
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:14,520
It better not.
1131
00:49:17,720 --> 00:49:19,840
Back on the record, please.
1132
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,880
Ok, so you could
feel Dr. Majestic.
1133
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,000
I think it's
Mr. Majestic, counsel.
1134
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Right. Uh, you could
feel Mr. Majestic
1135
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,360
pressing up against you.
1136
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,240
What happened next?
1137
00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:39,160
Um, we started kissing
and grabbing,
1138
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:46,080
and he was bumping himself
up against me,
1139
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,960
kissing my neck, and...
1140
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,760
He slid his hands
under my blouse
1141
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:58,760
and was caressing
my breasts in circles,
1142
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,400
tiny, little circles.
1143
00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:06,040
And one thing led to another,
1144
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:09,040
and I just...
1145
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:14,120
Took Mr. Majestic, um...
1146
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:18,520
In my mouth.
1147
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,280
Ehh.
1148
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:24,200
Both: You son of a bitch!
1149
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:25,560
Dan: Aah!
1150
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:26,760
Whaah!
1151
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:27,600
Dr. Paige!
1152
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,400
Danny! Danny! Danny, stop!
1153
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:33,480
You son of a bitch!
How dare you?!
1154
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,120
How dare you?!
1155
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:37,760
Melinda: Dr. Klink, are you ok?
1156
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,480
Emily: You son of a bitch!
1157
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:40,560
Ok, I'm all right.
I'm all right.
1158
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:42,560
I'm all right.
I'm all right now.
1159
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:43,840
Out! Out! Out!
1160
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:45,840
I'm sorry.
1161
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,160
Ahh!
1162
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,440
You pathetic,
immature peckerwoods!
1163
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,000
Oh, the hilarity.
1164
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,560
She kissed his pee-pee.
1165
00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:58,400
Grow up!
1166
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:02,000
This is serious
goddamn business!
1167
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,560
Salacious, yes.
1168
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:05,120
Scandalous, of course.
1169
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:06,360
Titillating, possibly.
1170
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:08,320
But my client's career hangs on.
1171
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:11,840
Ms. Barker's client's
most intimate testimonial.
1172
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:13,800
Get out and stay out
1173
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,320
until it's time
for your depositions!
1174
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:17,920
My... why would I need to do one?
1175
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:19,920
Because you're
the flaccid bastard
1176
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:21,720
that started this whole mess.
1177
00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:22,680
Now beat it!
1178
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:23,400
He's... that's...
1179
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,200
ditto! Amscray!
1180
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,000
I'm... I'm going.
1181
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:34,280
Beautifully expressed, counsel.
1182
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,280
Oh, yeah.
1183
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,240
That shit's hot.
1184
00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:45,960
Shut up, Larry!
1185
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:47,680
You're not looking
at the big picture.
1186
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,040
The 3, zero, zero
1187
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,080
zero, zero, zero,
zero, zero dollar picture.
1188
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:53,960
Enough. Enough! Give it a rest.
1189
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:57,200
Give it a rest,
Larry, ok, please?
1190
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,720
This is all your fault.
1191
00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:02,000
My fault?
1192
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,320
You're the one that sent...
1193
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:04,600
you're the one
that sent my wife
1194
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:05,960
to that sex fiend.
1195
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:07,320
I'll catch you
later, bro. I, uh...
1196
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,040
I... I forgot something.
1197
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:10,760
Well, maybe if you'd been
able to deliver the goods,
1198
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:12,840
your wife wouldn't
have been so damn horny
1199
00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,400
that she threw herself
1200
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:15,960
on Dr. Klink
in a goddamn elevator!
1201
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:17,120
Fuck you, Dr. Paige!
1202
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:18,960
Fuck me.
1203
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:20,840
How you gonna do that, Dan,
with Dr. Klink's help?
1204
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:23,440
No.
1205
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,080
Heh.
1206
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,680
Hey, we came to you guys
'cause we wanted help.
1207
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:28,040
We wanted to save our marriage.
1208
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,600
You guys are supposed
to be professionals.
1209
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,080
You guys don't know anything!
1210
00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:32,520
You wanna know why
1211
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:33,920
you can't get an erection
with Melinda?
1212
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:35,640
Hey. Hey, not so loud.
1213
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:36,680
No protection, no erection.
1214
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:39,080
No diaphragm,
Mr. Happy gets sad.
1215
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,480
Wife wants children.
Husband doesn't.
1216
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:42,680
Wife forces the issue.
1217
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:46,280
It is a classic
Venus and Mars dynamic.
1218
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,080
Now, generally we like patients
1219
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,680
to come to certain conclusions
on their own.
1220
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,960
But what the hell? There it is,
1221
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:55,080
free of charge.
1222
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:56,200
I'm not ready to be a father.
1223
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:57,480
Great! And what
does Melinda say?
1224
00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:59,320
We don't ever talk about it.
1225
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,160
We use birth control.
What is there to say?
1226
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:02,200
Isn't that what marriage is,
1227
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,000
you know, uh,
knowing without saying?
1228
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,120
Fantasyland, Dan.
1229
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:09,440
All relationships
are killed by dishonesty,
1230
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:13,200
repressed feelings,
things left unsaid.
1231
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:15,600
Honesty first.
1232
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,280
"No protection, no erection."
1233
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:18,240
You're good.
1234
00:53:18,240 --> 00:53:20,040
I'm the best.
1235
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,120
No protection, no erection.
1236
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,800
Mm-hmm, yeah.
1237
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:27,520
Back on the record, please.
1238
00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,840
I'm trying to picture this.
1239
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,000
Y-you were kneeling?
1240
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,800
No. I was standing up,
1241
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:39,280
bent over,
with him in my mouth.
1242
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:43,280
So, he was
a passive participant?
1243
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:44,760
No.
1244
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:47,320
His hand was under my skirt,
1245
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,560
and he started to touch me...
1246
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:53,000
Rub my...
1247
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,240
Mrs. Happy.
1248
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,240
Yes, and, um, let's see.
1249
00:53:59,240 --> 00:54:00,720
With his other hand,
1250
00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:04,080
he was still
touching my breast...
1251
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:05,440
Very gently,
1252
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:10,320
slowly tracing tiny
circles around my nipple,
1253
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:13,640
around and around...
1254
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,680
Around and around
1255
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,640
and up and down on Mrs. Happy.
1256
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,680
Up and down...
1257
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:26,040
And around and around.
1258
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,040
Off the record a second.
1259
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:34,880
Uh, counsel, excuse me.
Would you mind...
1260
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,080
Would you object
to a 10-minute recess?
1261
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:41,120
Quite the contrary, counsel.
1262
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,360
I'm just trying
to tell the truth.
1263
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,320
You're making it sound
1264
00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,240
like you had wonderful sex
with a terrific lover.
1265
00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:04,600
We're trying to sue him,
remember?
1266
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,600
We're not writing
an erotic novel.
1267
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,720
That circle stuff
sounded great.
1268
00:55:16,720 --> 00:55:20,560
Where'd you come up with
that circle business?
1269
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:23,120
Circle business?
1270
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,080
Around her nipple?
1271
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:27,960
¶ Round and round ¶
1272
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:31,360
¶ up and down ¶
1273
00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:36,800
¶ Round and round
and up and down ¶
1274
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:37,760
¶ and a 1, 2, 3 ¶
1275
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:39,160
¶ kick, 1, 2, 3 ¶
1276
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,120
¶ kill 'em ¶
1277
00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:48,760
hoo.
1278
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:50,080
Heh.
1279
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,480
Excuse me. Heh heh.
1280
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:04,120
Nice... nice camerawork. Here.
1281
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,200
I thought they
kicked you out of here.
1282
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,400
"Lawrence Carmichael, esq."
1283
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:11,120
It's esquire.
1284
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,160
Attorney.
1285
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:13,720
You're a lawyer?
1286
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,600
How would you kids like to earn
1287
00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:20,920
a little extra scratch
on the side?
1288
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:22,840
Scratch?
1289
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,560
Time sort of stood still.
1290
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:41,120
I remember becoming
aware of pounding
1291
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:43,760
and people's voices...
1292
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:44,760
Hello!
1293
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,960
And then the phone
started to ring,
1294
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:48,760
And that's when
1295
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,720
he, uh...
1296
00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:53,360
Put his, uh...
1297
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:55,120
Mr. Majestic.
1298
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:57,520
Into my...
1299
00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:58,480
Mrs. Happy.
1300
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,240
And there was this pounding
1301
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:02,600
and shouting and ringing,
1302
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:04,720
and we got into
this amazing rhythm.
1303
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:07,320
It was all over
in about a minute,
1304
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:09,960
minute and a half.
1305
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,160
Did klink arrive at emission?
1306
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:15,040
Yes.
1307
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:16,520
I wasn't using any protection,
1308
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:19,000
so at the last minute,
we pulled apart,
1309
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,360
and I finished him
with my hand.
1310
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:22,800
You did?
1311
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,240
Yes, and the other time, too.
1312
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:25,760
Really?
1313
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:31,760
Off the record for a second.
1314
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:34,680
Is it hot in here, counsel?
1315
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:35,640
Mm-hmm-hmm.
1316
00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:37,080
It's almost 11:00.
1317
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:38,520
Uh, I'd like to break
early for lunch.
1318
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,400
This is the first day
of deposition.
1319
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:44,040
Given the exhaustive nature
of today's testimony, I...
1320
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,440
perhaps a discontinuation...
1321
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:48,360
Is counsel requesting a recess?
1322
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:52,040
What would counsel's inclination
be to such a request?
1323
00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,120
R-request granted.
1324
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:17,760
Uh...
1325
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,600
Does counsel have
plans for lunch?
1326
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:28,160
Counsel's going back
to the hotel for a cold shower.
1327
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:32,840
Howdy, ezri.
1328
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,200
Howdy, partner.
1329
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:35,960
How are you?
1330
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:46,520
Oh.
1331
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:59,160
Heh.
1332
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:02,080
You've got a great memory
for details.
1333
00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:07,640
It's like being
on truth serum in there.
1334
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:10,320
Everything comes flooding out.
1335
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:15,320
Melinda, why are you suing me?
1336
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:19,000
It's... this is so humiliating
for both of us,
1337
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,080
and if it goes to trial, this...
1338
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:24,920
everyone in Boise
will find out about...
1339
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:26,240
It.
1340
00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:27,560
I think I'm gonna
drop the suit.
1341
00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:28,920
I don't wanna go
any further with it.
1342
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:29,960
What? R-really?
1343
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:34,200
No. Uh, y-you should get...
1344
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:36,680
Something.
1345
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:41,400
Do you love me, Dr. Klink?
1346
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:43,960
S...
1347
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,080
Do I love you?
1348
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:46,960
Yes.
1349
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:49,040
Do you love me?
1350
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,120
I could love you.
1351
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:55,680
Could?
1352
00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:59,440
Thanks, ezri.
1353
00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:01,200
Get that bite looked at.
1354
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,440
What is it with you
and elevators?
1355
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:05,440
You know, it's...
1356
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:06,920
take the goddamn stairs.
1357
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:09,440
I wanted to talk to you.
1358
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:11,960
You know, maybe we could...
I mean, I was thinking we...
1359
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:16,840
I... I really wanna settle
out of court, if...
1360
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:18,880
Aah! Eesh.
1361
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,000
Let me set you straight.
1362
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:24,480
First, ezri stovall
has never settled.
1363
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:25,520
Well, that's fine...
1364
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:28,200
he either wins...
1365
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:32,360
Or he goes down
kicking and biting.
1366
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:34,720
2...
1367
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,080
2! Ezri stovall makes
the recommendation
1368
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:38,480
to the insurance company
1369
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:41,040
to go to court,
to settle, et cetera.
1370
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,520
If you don't heed his advice,
1371
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:45,600
you will be settling
on your own,
1372
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:47,840
without the insurance company.
1373
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:53,440
Uh, I have
malpractice insurance.
1374
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:55,080
Ehh.
1375
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,320
Fine print, elevator boy.
1376
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:01,880
Your policy guarantees
you a defense.
1377
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:05,760
It doesn't say it'll
pay out if you lose
1378
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:11,360
or if it finds that you
have acted criminally...
1379
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,440
Criminally? I never
acted criminally.
1380
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:14,320
Or unethically...
1381
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:16,680
She wasn't even my patient.
1382
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:19,000
Or if you decide to...
and I quote...
1383
01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:20,960
"if you decide to act against
1384
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:24,920
insurance carrier's
appointed counsel."
1385
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:28,640
You mean if I settle, I pay?
1386
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:30,520
Yep.
1387
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:33,400
Dan: Hey, Mel.
1388
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:35,120
Hey, hey, uh...
1389
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,360
I got you some arby's.
1390
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:41,400
Thanks.
1391
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:43,000
Hey.
1392
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:44,720
Ok.
1393
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:54,000
I've been thinking, Mel.
1394
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:55,680
I know what our problem was.
1395
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:57,360
Me, too. You cheated with
that cocktail waitress.
1396
01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:58,480
I didn't cheat with the co...
1397
01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:00,280
I mean, I was gonna,
but I didn't.
1398
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:02,160
You lied to me about
sleeping with her.
1399
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:03,280
You and I weren't exactly...
1400
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:04,800
because you couldn't...
1401
01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:06,320
I couldn't because you
wanted a baby, all right?
1402
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,280
Dr. Paige spelled it
all out for me.
1403
01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:09,280
No protection, no erection.
1404
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:10,640
I just wasn't ready yet,
1405
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:12,040
but hell, if you
really want a baby,
1406
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:13,520
we'll have one. I don't care,
1407
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:15,200
especially with the
money we got coming in.
1408
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:17,680
I don't wanna
make a baby, not yet.
1409
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:18,920
Yeah, you do. No, I don't.
1410
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,320
Yes, you do. Dr. Paige
said it was classic
1411
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:22,280
the way
you lost your diaphragm.
1412
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:23,760
Well, she's wrong.
I didn't lose it.
1413
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:27,400
I just didn't use it, because
you wanted me to get pregnant.
1414
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:29,240
I wanted you to get pregnant?
1415
01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:30,160
Yes. No, you... no, wait.
1416
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:32,080
You wanted to get pregnant.
1417
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:34,000
No way. I am not ready
to have a baby.
1418
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,120
You're not. Uh-uh.
1419
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:36,200
That means together
we're both not ready.
1420
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:37,800
You don't understand.
This is awesome!
1421
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:39,800
Oh, my God, I thought
if I even mentioned
1422
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:41,720
that I didn't want
to have kids,
1423
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:42,760
you'd divorce me.
1424
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:43,600
Really? Yeah.
1425
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:44,960
Me, too. Oh, my God.
1426
01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:46,400
Honesty first. That's the key.
1427
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,680
I feel like
a weight's been lifted.
1428
01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:50,680
That Dr. Paige is a genius.
1429
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:52,040
I love you, Mel.
1430
01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:54,000
I love you, Danny.
1431
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:55,920
I missed you holding me
and holding my hand
1432
01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:57,000
and touching my back.
1433
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:58,240
This is what
I wanted all along.
1434
01:02:58,280 --> 01:03:01,080
Me, too. Oh, we could
do this every day if we want.
1435
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:04,000
We could do this all day,
every day, whenever we want.
1436
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:05,720
With the money
we got coming in,
1437
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:07,040
we could do whatever we want.
1438
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,520
You should see the... the things.
1439
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:09,680
Larry has lined up...
the brochures,
1440
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:12,640
the... the telemarketing,
uh, opportunities.
1441
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:14,280
The... the real estate invest...
1442
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:15,240
there's fun stuff, too...
1443
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:16,720
jai alai and, you know, boxing.
1444
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:18,160
What's Larry have to do
with any of this?
1445
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:19,840
Well, he's our...
he works for us.
1446
01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:21,000
You know, he quit his job.
1447
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,240
Larry's never had a job.
1448
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:24,360
No, he has one now,
'cause he works for us.
1449
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:25,920
He's gonna get 10%
of whatever we win.
1450
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,200
This isn't a jackpot, Dan.
This is our life.
1451
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:29,720
Look, I was stupid before, ok?
1452
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:31,440
I was really dumb.
You go in there.
1453
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:32,920
You say whatever
you have to say.
1454
01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:34,440
It's just words
to me now, baby.
1455
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,280
I don't even care...
where you going?
1456
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:38,400
I want out!
I want it all to go away...
1457
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:40,320
the doctors and
the lawyers and you!
1458
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:42,360
Me?! What did I do?
1459
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,960
I don't like you, Danny!
1460
01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:46,040
You're a big, bad devil!
1461
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:49,240
What? What'd I do?
1462
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:56,840
Connie: No! No!
1463
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:59,640
Ohh! You wanna
drop the lawsuit?!
1464
01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:01,560
Yes. It's not worth it.
1465
01:04:01,560 --> 01:04:04,040
I never liked this case
to begin with.
1466
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:06,360
Oh, this one looked
better on paper.
1467
01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:08,000
Mmm.
1468
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:15,160
Fine.
1469
01:04:15,160 --> 01:04:16,720
Fine. Just write us
a check for all
1470
01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:17,840
our out-of-pocket legal fees.
1471
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,080
Fine. How much will that be?
1472
01:04:20,080 --> 01:04:23,040
Joel: Well, let's see.
1473
01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:26,040
We have Ms. Barker's fees,
plus expenses and per diem,
1474
01:04:26,040 --> 01:04:27,320
times 10 days,
1475
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,520
plus first-class airfare
1476
01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:31,120
and her support staff
in Chicago.
1477
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:35,000
Then of course there's me
and my staff here in Boise,
1478
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:38,040
plus one private detective
at $50 an hour,
1479
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,560
plus xeroxing, postage,
1480
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:43,360
various office expenses.
1481
01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:45,560
Comes to just under $75,000.
1482
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:48,600
$75,000?
1483
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:50,040
Just under.
1484
01:04:50,040 --> 01:04:53,240
I don't have
that kind of money.
1485
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:55,960
Guess we'll stay the course.
1486
01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:01,840
Never forget
you're the victim here.
1487
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:13,480
Hmm.
1488
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:17,360
Tiff...
1489
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:18,920
who are you?
Wh-where's Tiffany?
1490
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:20,560
Oh.
1491
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:22,200
Helen dalrymple,
private investigator.
1492
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,680
Your receptionist let me in.
1493
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:26,720
Look, I-I don't know
1494
01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:28,600
who you work for, but could...
1495
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,400
I work for you, asshole.
1496
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:31,440
Ezri stovall hired me.
1497
01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:33,280
Is Dr. Rice in this picture?
1498
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:34,520
Come again?
1499
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:35,760
That's what she said. Heh heh.
1500
01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:38,720
Look, ezri said you banged
some shrink at a conference.
1501
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:39,680
He... Dr. Rice.
1502
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:41,960
Are you still
in contact with her?
1503
01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:43,120
Uh, no. Dr. Rice
1504
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:45,360
is no longer in the picture.
1505
01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:47,640
She... could...
1506
01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:49,880
please... could you
please not touch my...
1507
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:53,560
or Tiffany's things?
1508
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:56,440
Did Ms. Carmichael
mention any other affairs?
1509
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:57,560
Other doctors she screwed?
1510
01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:00,600
Dentists, podiatrists, clergy?
1511
01:06:00,640 --> 01:06:01,640
Clerg... no.
1512
01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:03,960
I mean, I told
Mr. Stovall everything,
1513
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:08,360
and anything
she told me is confidential.
1514
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:09,720
Right. Don't wanna abuse
1515
01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:12,760
that doctor-patient
relationship.
1516
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,680
Wait, wait. I...
1517
01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:18,520
Must insist that you leave.
1518
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:20,280
Don't get lippy with me, doc.
1519
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:22,640
I didn't screw my patient.
1520
01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:25,160
She w...
1521
01:06:27,320 --> 01:06:29,480
Heh. In an elevator?
Are you kidding me?
1522
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:31,200
Ha ha!
1523
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:32,880
We are talking about
stodger Roger, right?
1524
01:06:32,920 --> 01:06:35,000
Heh. Good, old Mr. By the book.
1525
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:38,040
Ah heh heh. You know,
when I met him,
1526
01:06:38,040 --> 01:06:39,840
he was a 23-year-old virgin,
1527
01:06:39,840 --> 01:06:41,920
and, uh, the morning
1528
01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:44,400
after we had sex
for the first time,
1529
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:46,480
I get a call out of the blue
1530
01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:49,080
from an ex-boyfriend
who proposes to me.
1531
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:50,000
Really?
1532
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:51,680
Roger, bless his heart,
1533
01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:53,320
in a fit of jealousy,
jumps up and says,
1534
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:54,600
"I would marry you."
1535
01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:58,120
Years later, I found out
what he meant...
1536
01:06:58,120 --> 01:07:00,720
Was "could," not "would."
1537
01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:04,720
So, what, you got married
on a grammatical error?
1538
01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:07,040
All I know is, um...
1539
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:08,720
We were never very happy.
1540
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:12,160
Uh, has he had many affairs,
your husband?
1541
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:15,320
Well, there was
that otapi conference
1542
01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:17,320
in Denver
a couple of years ago.
1543
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:20,360
Otapi. That's some kind
of antelope, right?
1544
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,440
What?
1545
01:07:22,440 --> 01:07:24,760
Otapi, the organization
1546
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:27,120
of therapists, analysts,
blah, blah, blah.
1547
01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:28,480
Come on. Right.
1548
01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:29,840
I shouldn't be
telling you any of this.
1549
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:31,560
I've had too many of these.
1550
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:33,680
Darlin', uh...
1551
01:07:33,680 --> 01:07:37,120
You could tell me anything.
1552
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:39,080
Well...
1553
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:40,680
He comes back from Denver,
1554
01:07:40,680 --> 01:07:42,440
and he's a changed man.
1555
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:47,200
All of a sudden,
he is Mr. Oral sex.
1556
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:51,640
Up until then, Roger
had very rarely, uh...
1557
01:07:51,640 --> 01:07:53,440
Cunnilinged me.
1558
01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:55,960
Can you say, uh, "cunnilinged"?
1559
01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:57,920
Well, I don't know.
1560
01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:00,800
What's the verb
for cunnilingus?
1561
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:02,280
Cunnilingated.
1562
01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:03,600
Stop it.
1563
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:04,880
Cunnilingual.
1564
01:08:04,880 --> 01:08:05,560
That a verb?
1565
01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:08,960
I don't know, but I like it.
1566
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:12,640
Anyway, he comes
back from Denver,
1567
01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:13,720
and suddenly he's an expert.
1568
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:16,920
Oh, yes. He's slow.
He's sensual.
1569
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:20,440
He's circular.
1570
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:24,760
Am I boring you?
1571
01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:27,160
Not a bit.
1572
01:08:29,880 --> 01:08:31,120
Salty.
1573
01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:32,920
Oh, and he started
doing this, um,
1574
01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:34,640
this circle thing,
you know, with the...
1575
01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:37,040
with his hands
on my... on my breasts,
1576
01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:40,400
kind of like... like that.
1577
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:42,360
Really? Yeah.
1578
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:43,400
Whoa. Heh.
1579
01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:45,360
And, uh... Wow.
1580
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:47,280
I let the whole thing
drop, and then, uh,
1581
01:08:47,320 --> 01:08:48,800
oh, about 5, 6 months later,
1582
01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:52,560
he got a card in the
mail from a Dr. Rice.
1583
01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:54,200
Looked like an invitation.
1584
01:08:54,200 --> 01:08:55,160
Who's Dr. Rice?
1585
01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:57,680
Exactly what I said,
1586
01:08:57,680 --> 01:08:58,960
you know, very nicely,
1587
01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,240
and, uh, Roger
got very flustered.
1588
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:02,800
And stammered something
about it obviously
1589
01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:06,040
being addressed
to the wrong Dr. Klink.
1590
01:09:09,320 --> 01:09:16,480
Is Dr. Rice a boy doctor
or a girl doctor?
1591
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:19,920
A girl doctor.
1592
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:22,160
Are you sure?
1593
01:09:22,160 --> 01:09:24,560
Heh. Well, who else but a girl
1594
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:25,520
could have taught him
1595
01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:28,920
all those good things
that he knew?
1596
01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:30,000
Well, thank you...
1597
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:32,840
Heh. For your help.
1598
01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:36,840
We, um... we are
separated, you know.
1599
01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:37,720
Mmm.
1600
01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:40,560
Uh, do you live alone?
1601
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:42,560
I, um...
1602
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:44,000
Have a roommate.
1603
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:46,800
But, uh, listen,
uh, here's my card,
1604
01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:50,320
and, uh, if you can
think of anything else,
1605
01:09:50,320 --> 01:09:52,120
why, uh, you can call me.
1606
01:09:52,120 --> 01:09:53,800
Oh. Day and night.
1607
01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:54,720
Thank you.
1608
01:09:54,720 --> 01:09:56,320
Ma'am.
1609
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:01,760
I'll see you.
1610
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:22,920
No!
1611
01:10:22,920 --> 01:10:24,880
What's going on?
1612
01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:26,320
Good morning, counsel.
1613
01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:29,440
Hi, counsel. How's it hanging?
1614
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,400
Connie: Better put that
animal of yours in a cage,
1615
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:34,280
or I'll have to get
a restraining order.
1616
01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:36,320
Ezri: Your client
has violated rules
1617
01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:39,840
regarding ex parte propinquity.
1618
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:43,120
I'll squeeze in here with you.
1619
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:46,000
Let's take the stairs.
1620
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:51,040
I get an erection just
thinking about elevators.
1621
01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:54,560
We were by the door,
standing up.
1622
01:10:54,560 --> 01:10:56,080
He was hugging me,
1623
01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:58,200
moving his hands over my dress
1624
01:10:58,200 --> 01:10:59,320
and then under my dress.
1625
01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:01,800
I wasn't wearing any underwear.
1626
01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:03,040
Oh, baby!
1627
01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:08,880
Hey, Dan, over here.
1628
01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:10,760
Hey. Hey, Larry, what's up?
1629
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:11,800
You seen Melinda?
1630
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:13,920
Haven't seen her, bro.
1631
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:16,040
But you don't think this money's
goin' to her head, do you?
1632
01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:17,080
No, I don't think so.
1633
01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:18,400
In fact, I don't even think
1634
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:20,120
she's 100% into
the whole thing.
1635
01:11:20,120 --> 01:11:22,360
We were talking last...
last... is... this is...
1636
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,240
Larry, this is Melinda naked.
1637
01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:26,080
I took her head
1638
01:11:26,080 --> 01:11:27,280
off last year's Christmas card,
1639
01:11:27,280 --> 01:11:29,000
downloaded the body
off the Internet.
1640
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:30,920
The rest is
the magic of Photoshop.
1641
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:32,880
But goddamn, Larry,
she's still naked.
1642
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:34,600
I-it's not her body.
1643
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:36,880
With sexy artwork
on the video box,
1644
01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:38,640
I can get double per unit.
1645
01:11:38,640 --> 01:11:40,280
What are you talking about?
1646
01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:41,440
Yee-ha!
1647
01:11:41,440 --> 01:11:43,440
I put my hands in his pants.
1648
01:11:43,440 --> 01:11:45,000
Oh, my God. Larry...
1649
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:46,840
ok, that's my little surprise.
1650
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:48,880
Melinda is hot, bro.
1651
01:11:48,880 --> 01:11:50,400
Is that... are those...
1652
01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:51,920
would you look
at this crowd? Heck,
1653
01:11:51,920 --> 01:11:53,880
we could sell
her deposition tapes
1654
01:11:53,880 --> 01:11:55,920
to every bar in town.
1655
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:57,920
I've got a buddy in salt lake
working on the website.
1656
01:11:57,920 --> 01:12:00,880
Wha... Larry, I am trying
to get back with her.
1657
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:03,640
...being up on his desk,
1658
01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:05,480
on all fours.
1659
01:12:05,480 --> 01:12:06,480
Whoo! Whoo!
1660
01:12:06,480 --> 01:12:08,360
Larry, have you
seen your brother?
1661
01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:11,280
Speak of the devil.
Hey, Melinda.
1662
01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:13,320
What's this?
1663
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:15,080
Don't worry.
It's not your body.
1664
01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:17,040
Boo-yah. Why don't we
1665
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:18,960
turn it off, huh?
I think the game's on.
1666
01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:21,320
...his other hand,
1667
01:12:21,320 --> 01:12:22,600
he was very gently...
1668
01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:24,400
That's me on TV.
1669
01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:27,120
...around and around and around
1670
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:30,480
and up and down on...
1671
01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:31,920
Mrs. Happy! Mrs. Happy!
1672
01:12:31,920 --> 01:12:34,280
Turn it off! Turn it off!
1673
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:36,240
Whoo hoo! Whee-hah!
1674
01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:37,160
Danny?
1675
01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:40,040
Uh, oh, Mel, oh, shit.
1676
01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:40,840
How could you?
1677
01:12:40,840 --> 01:12:42,560
I didn't. I swear.
1678
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:43,600
How could you?
1679
01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:44,640
I didn't. Mel, I swear.
1680
01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:47,560
Mel, I swear to God
I didn't. Mel.
1681
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:49,240
All right, look, why don't we...
1682
01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:50,160
look, that's my wife!
1683
01:12:50,160 --> 01:12:51,600
Can we please turn it off?
1684
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:52,560
Hey! Hey, everybody!
1685
01:12:52,560 --> 01:12:54,440
It's Mr. Happy!
1686
01:12:57,040 --> 01:12:58,080
Hey, come on, buddy!
1687
01:12:58,080 --> 01:12:59,040
Hey, hey, hey...
1688
01:12:59,040 --> 01:13:01,880
the best part! Get down, now!
1689
01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:03,200
Get him off of there.
1690
01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:04,160
Get off me!
1691
01:13:04,160 --> 01:13:07,480
Unh!
1692
01:13:19,440 --> 01:13:22,240
Yes.
1693
01:13:23,240 --> 01:13:24,920
You're kidding.
1694
01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:26,720
That's not so bad.
1695
01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:28,000
When?
1696
01:13:29,760 --> 01:13:31,560
Good idea.
1697
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:33,000
Time is of the essence.
1698
01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:34,640
Get hold of Dr. Paige
and warn her.
1699
01:13:34,640 --> 01:13:39,560
No, no. I-I'll convey
the message to Mr. Stovall.
1700
01:13:44,200 --> 01:13:45,360
What's up?
1701
01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:46,760
Good news for our team.
1702
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:48,240
Carmichaels are
splitting up for good.
1703
01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:51,680
Melinda's at some hotel
by the highway.
1704
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:53,680
She's very upset.
1705
01:13:53,680 --> 01:13:56,000
I'd like to give her
a day's rest.
1706
01:13:56,000 --> 01:14:00,720
Johnson thinks we should move on
to Dr. Paige's deposition.
1707
01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:05,320
I'm not sure I'm
prepared for Dr. Paige.
1708
01:14:05,320 --> 01:14:06,880
Ezri...
1709
01:14:06,880 --> 01:14:10,280
It would mean
an awful lot to me.
1710
01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:25,320
Max, you ever think
about the other road,
1711
01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:28,200
the one you didn't walk down?
1712
01:14:28,440 --> 01:14:30,880
The one you stood
at the mouth of,
1713
01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:34,080
but were afraid to walk down,
afraid to...
1714
01:14:34,080 --> 01:14:37,000
Let down your hair and run?
1715
01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:40,920
Ah, I'm waxing rhetorical,
1716
01:14:40,920 --> 01:14:43,640
not looking for an answer,
just a little...
1717
01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:46,560
Anonymous companionship.
1718
01:14:47,840 --> 01:14:48,920
Here, doc,
1719
01:14:48,920 --> 01:14:50,000
compliments of the ladies
1720
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:52,360
at the end of the bar.
1721
01:14:54,280 --> 01:14:58,040
It's the corvette, Max.
The women love it.
1722
01:14:58,240 --> 01:15:00,000
To Dr. Majestic.
1723
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:01,920
Women: Dr. Majestic.
1724
01:15:01,920 --> 01:15:03,800
Who told you that?
1725
01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:05,760
That's con...
that's confidential
1726
01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:09,400
uh, doctor-cli...
uh, attorney...
1727
01:15:09,400 --> 01:15:11,360
Ahh! Ahh.
1728
01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:15,160
Hey, doc, you forgot
your picture.
1729
01:15:43,240 --> 01:15:44,600
Oh.
1730
01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:45,920
Man: ¶ bingo
was his name-o... ¶
1731
01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:46,960
hi.
1732
01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:49,240
Uh, is Felix in?
1733
01:15:49,240 --> 01:15:51,640
He's in the shower.
1734
01:15:51,640 --> 01:15:54,000
Oh, you're the roommate.
1735
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:56,320
Oh, ha ha ha! He said
he had a roommate.
1736
01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:57,400
I totally for...
1737
01:15:57,400 --> 01:15:59,440
Did he? And you must be...
1738
01:15:59,440 --> 01:16:01,920
I'm... I'm Jennifer.
1739
01:16:01,920 --> 01:16:04,400
I'm, uh, the almost
ex-Mrs. Dr. Klink.
1740
01:16:04,400 --> 01:16:06,080
Right.
1741
01:16:06,080 --> 01:16:07,320
And you're here because...
1742
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:09,000
Well, ah heh heh.
1743
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:12,120
I have a very valuable
piece of evidence
1744
01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:17,640
to help screw my future
ex-husband, and, um...
1745
01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:20,280
I'd really like
to give it to Felix.
1746
01:16:20,280 --> 01:16:22,560
Well, we're not just roommates.
1747
01:16:22,560 --> 01:16:23,560
We're partners.
1748
01:16:23,560 --> 01:16:25,520
Oh. Perfect. Ok.
1749
01:16:25,520 --> 01:16:27,480
So what happened is
a got a call from Max,
1750
01:16:27,480 --> 01:16:30,080
the bartender down
at the wild bill lounge.
1751
01:16:30,080 --> 01:16:32,880
He didn't know
Roger and I had split,
1752
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:35,240
so he called the house,
and, uh... heh.
1753
01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:37,280
Looky what my husband
1754
01:16:37,280 --> 01:16:39,800
left behind-y in the bar.
1755
01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:42,960
I've seen this picture before.
What's the big deal?
1756
01:16:42,960 --> 01:16:45,880
Wh... that's Dr. Rice
next to my husband.
1757
01:16:45,880 --> 01:16:48,480
Ex! Ex-husband. Uhh!
Ex-husband.
1758
01:16:48,480 --> 01:16:52,200
I mean, look at
their hands. It's...
1759
01:16:52,200 --> 01:16:54,880
That's Dr. Rice?
1760
01:16:56,160 --> 01:16:59,160
"To a great orator, love, E.R."
1761
01:16:59,160 --> 01:17:03,120
Dr. Rice taught Roger the, uh,
1762
01:17:03,120 --> 01:17:05,760
cunnilingual arts,
as Felix put it.
1763
01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:07,680
Isn't that funny? Ha ha ha ha!
1764
01:17:07,680 --> 01:17:09,720
Is that how he put it?
1765
01:17:12,720 --> 01:17:15,960
¶ There was
a farmer had a dog ¶
1766
01:17:15,960 --> 01:17:18,160
¶ and bingo was his name-o ¶
1767
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:21,040
¶ nn-nn-nn-nn-dog... ¶
1768
01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:25,800
does Felix take long showers?
1769
01:17:25,800 --> 01:17:29,800
We're lovers,
not just partners.
1770
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:31,640
Oh, yes. Ok.
1771
01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:33,520
Well, I never would
have, uh, ahem,
1772
01:17:33,520 --> 01:17:35,560
I mean, look at me. It's...
1773
01:17:35,560 --> 01:17:37,160
A lot of fringe and... ok.
1774
01:17:37,160 --> 01:17:39,320
Well, he'd... he'd called
you his roommate,
1775
01:17:39,320 --> 01:17:41,240
just... just so you know that.
1776
01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:42,320
Sorry.
1777
01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:43,360
Oh, that's ok.
1778
01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:45,120
That's ok.
1779
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:46,880
This, um... this is
an Idaho chardonnay,
1780
01:17:46,880 --> 01:17:48,640
if you wanna...
1781
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:49,840
I'm gonna go.
1782
01:17:49,840 --> 01:17:52,160
Uh, keep the photo.
1783
01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:54,720
Keep this. Heh.
1784
01:17:54,720 --> 01:17:56,600
And, uh...
1785
01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:59,360
Bust his balls
for me, would you?
1786
01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:02,400
Don't worry.
1787
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:34,080
This better be good.
1788
01:18:34,080 --> 01:18:37,240
I found a picture of klink
with Dr. Rice.
1789
01:18:37,240 --> 01:18:38,720
Meaningless. Good-bye.
1790
01:18:38,720 --> 01:18:41,760
Guess who Dr. Rice is.
1791
01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:45,720
Really?
1792
01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:47,440
Are you sure?
1793
01:18:47,440 --> 01:18:49,760
Positive.
1794
01:18:52,160 --> 01:18:54,520
I'll call you back.
1795
01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:12,600
Conthuela, that was amathing.
1796
01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:15,720
That was a class-a misdemeanor.
1797
01:19:16,600 --> 01:19:18,520
My dear...
1798
01:19:18,520 --> 01:19:20,040
That was a felony.
1799
01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:21,240
You know what I hate?
1800
01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:23,880
I hate that one of us
has to lose.
1801
01:19:23,880 --> 01:19:26,680
I wish we could both win.
1802
01:19:29,560 --> 01:19:31,040
Ohh. Ok.
1803
01:19:31,040 --> 01:19:33,480
Ok.
1804
01:19:33,480 --> 01:19:36,240
Ok. Ha.
1805
01:19:36,240 --> 01:19:37,200
Ah ha!
1806
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:38,480
Ha ha ha!
1807
01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:42,160
Ezri: Exhibit "a"
is a group photograph
1808
01:19:42,160 --> 01:19:44,240
from the otapi
shrink convention,
1809
01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:46,960
Denver, 1999.
1810
01:19:46,960 --> 01:19:48,720
Do you recognize the woman
1811
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:51,640
standing next to Roger klink?
1812
01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:54,120
Of course I do.
1813
01:19:54,120 --> 01:19:55,440
Would you please read
1814
01:19:55,440 --> 01:19:58,920
what's written on
the back of the photo.
1815
01:20:00,400 --> 01:20:04,200
"To a great orator, love, E.R."
1816
01:20:04,240 --> 01:20:05,200
Who's E.R.?
1817
01:20:05,200 --> 01:20:07,520
Emily rice.
1818
01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:10,360
Ezri: Who is Emily rice?
1819
01:20:10,360 --> 01:20:13,120
Me. I am. Uh...
1820
01:20:13,120 --> 01:20:14,640
I was.
1821
01:20:14,640 --> 01:20:18,560
My second former husband
was Eugene rice.
1822
01:20:18,560 --> 01:20:22,280
What did you mean,
"a great orator"?
1823
01:20:22,280 --> 01:20:24,200
It's double entendre.
1824
01:20:24,200 --> 01:20:26,200
It... no big deal.
1825
01:20:26,200 --> 01:20:28,680
It refers to oral sex.
1826
01:20:28,680 --> 01:20:30,360
We had a fling in Denver.
1827
01:20:31,440 --> 01:20:32,520
We hardly left the room
for 3 days,
1828
01:20:32,520 --> 01:20:34,800
although it was
more of a workshop,
1829
01:20:34,800 --> 01:20:37,080
considering Roger was
a sexual fledgling.
1830
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:37,880
I object!
1831
01:20:37,880 --> 01:20:39,680
It's the truth.
1832
01:20:39,720 --> 01:20:41,520
I tutored him in various
sexual techniques.
1833
01:20:41,520 --> 01:20:43,520
Granted, he...
he was a quick learner.
1834
01:20:43,560 --> 01:20:47,280
He made the greatest strides
in the oral disciplines,
1835
01:20:47,280 --> 01:20:48,640
hence "a great orator."
1836
01:20:48,640 --> 01:20:51,080
Oral? You and Dr. Klink?
1837
01:20:51,080 --> 01:20:53,120
I named his penis Mr. Majestic.
1838
01:20:53,120 --> 01:20:55,200
To boost his confidence.
1839
01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:56,040
Oh, Jesus...
1840
01:20:56,040 --> 01:20:56,880
oh, God! Oh, man.
1841
01:20:56,880 --> 01:20:59,000
Should I go off record?
1842
01:20:59,000 --> 01:20:59,880
Don't you dare.
1843
01:20:59,880 --> 01:21:01,720
I showed him everything.
1844
01:21:01,720 --> 01:21:03,560
I crammed 6 months
of training into 3 days.
1845
01:21:03,560 --> 01:21:05,920
Oh, and we had
an elevator in Denver.
1846
01:21:05,920 --> 01:21:08,320
You two had sex in an elevator?
1847
01:21:08,320 --> 01:21:09,840
Well... well, he was too timid.
1848
01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:11,680
"What if someone comes?
I'm so scared."
1849
01:21:11,680 --> 01:21:14,080
You were like
a supercharged sex instructor!
1850
01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:15,160
A square-dance caller!
1851
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:16,240
"Roll over.
1852
01:21:16,240 --> 01:21:17,560
"Rub here. Touch this.
1853
01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:19,840
On your back. On your knees."
1854
01:21:19,840 --> 01:21:22,280
Uhh! It was like
sexual boot camp.
1855
01:21:22,280 --> 01:21:24,920
You loved it,
and then you have the nerve
1856
01:21:24,960 --> 01:21:27,760
to share my advanced
circle technique with her.
1857
01:21:27,760 --> 01:21:29,600
Those circles are mine!
1858
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:30,920
I gave him that technique.
1859
01:21:30,920 --> 01:21:33,760
But that's all it is
to you, technique
1860
01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:35,200
and disciplines, maneuvers.
1861
01:21:35,200 --> 01:21:37,240
I mean, if you had
just shut up once
1862
01:21:37,240 --> 01:21:39,200
during the whole weekend
and let me be me,
1863
01:21:39,200 --> 01:21:41,320
I might never have
gone back to my wife.
1864
01:21:41,320 --> 01:21:44,280
You should've
told me, Dr. Paige.
1865
01:21:44,280 --> 01:21:45,240
It had no bearing.
1866
01:21:45,240 --> 01:21:46,200
You pressed me to sue him.
1867
01:21:46,200 --> 01:21:48,360
You wanted to nail the bastard.
1868
01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:50,960
You used me to get
back at Dr. Klink!
1869
01:21:50,960 --> 01:21:52,640
How could you?
1870
01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:54,360
You, you stole the circles
from Dr. Paige!
1871
01:21:54,360 --> 01:21:57,280
Hell hath no fury
like a woman scorned.
1872
01:21:57,280 --> 01:21:59,320
No, no! I was trying to help!
1873
01:21:59,320 --> 01:22:01,360
You used Mrs. Carmichael,
1874
01:22:01,360 --> 01:22:02,680
a broken woman.
1875
01:22:02,680 --> 01:22:04,000
Who was unable
to defend herself
1876
01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:06,800
from the advances
of this sexual predator.
1877
01:22:06,840 --> 01:22:10,800
Predator? He's a leaf-eater,
a sexual herbivore.
1878
01:22:10,800 --> 01:22:12,320
I object. Th...
1879
01:22:12,320 --> 01:22:13,880
a predator created
by Dr. Paige.
1880
01:22:13,880 --> 01:22:17,520
Oh, but then... but then
her creation spurned her.
1881
01:22:17,520 --> 01:22:19,280
So you set out to destroy him,
1882
01:22:19,280 --> 01:22:22,280
and this innocent woman
just got in your way.
1883
01:22:22,280 --> 01:22:23,280
None of this is true!
1884
01:22:23,280 --> 01:22:25,360
You have ruined
my life, Dr. Paige.
1885
01:22:25,360 --> 01:22:26,640
My marriage is over,
1886
01:22:26,640 --> 01:22:27,920
Dan's become a greedy asshole,
1887
01:22:27,920 --> 01:22:29,440
and his shit brother is selling
1888
01:22:29,440 --> 01:22:31,920
the deposition tapes
at local bars!
1889
01:22:31,920 --> 01:22:33,840
Wha...
1890
01:22:34,680 --> 01:22:36,720
I did it!
1891
01:22:36,720 --> 01:22:38,320
Oh, you're fired.
1892
01:22:38,320 --> 01:22:39,920
You can't fire her.
She's pregnant.
1893
01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:43,400
Uhh. The tapes
are meaningless now.
1894
01:22:43,400 --> 01:22:45,800
Remember your wish
last night, consuela?
1895
01:22:45,840 --> 01:22:47,600
Last night?
1896
01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:49,400
That both of us
could win this case.
1897
01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:51,240
That isn't possible,
1898
01:22:51,240 --> 01:22:52,920
but I've come up with
the next best thing.
1899
01:22:52,920 --> 01:22:55,480
First, you drop
your suit against klink.
1900
01:22:55,480 --> 01:22:56,240
Do what?
1901
01:22:56,240 --> 01:22:57,400
Drop the suit? Never!
1902
01:22:57,400 --> 01:22:59,080
You file a suit on behalf
1903
01:22:59,080 --> 01:23:00,840
of Mrs. Carmichael and klink,
1904
01:23:00,840 --> 01:23:03,200
the real victims in this case,
1905
01:23:03,200 --> 01:23:05,160
against the real villain,
1906
01:23:05,160 --> 01:23:10,560
the conniving and
vengeful Dr. Paige.
1907
01:23:10,560 --> 01:23:12,200
This'll never hold up in court.
1908
01:23:12,200 --> 01:23:14,200
It won't have to. You'll settle
1909
01:23:14,200 --> 01:23:15,560
out of court for 5 million,
1910
01:23:15,560 --> 01:23:16,960
which the company
will agree to.
1911
01:23:16,960 --> 01:23:20,880
And Melinda and klink
will split 5 million.
1912
01:23:20,880 --> 01:23:21,760
Minus 30%.
1913
01:23:21,760 --> 01:23:22,800
Everyone's a winner.
1914
01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:24,640
Well, not everyone.
1915
01:23:24,680 --> 01:23:25,800
According to the settlement,
1916
01:23:25,800 --> 01:23:28,480
Dr. Paige will
lose her license.
1917
01:23:28,520 --> 01:23:30,080
Lose my license?
1918
01:23:30,080 --> 01:23:31,680
But there is an island
in the Caribbean
1919
01:23:31,720 --> 01:23:33,680
where you do not need a license
1920
01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:35,520
to practice
the psychiatric arts.
1921
01:23:35,520 --> 01:23:37,120
Ahh!
1922
01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:38,720
Grand Cayman.
1923
01:23:38,720 --> 01:23:40,160
The Caribbean?
1924
01:23:40,160 --> 01:23:42,920
Brilliant. It's a happy ending.
1925
01:23:42,920 --> 01:23:44,480
You are the greatest.
1926
01:23:49,720 --> 01:23:52,120
Ezri: Come here, you big lug.
1927
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:56,520
Melinda, Roger,
congratulations!
1928
01:23:56,520 --> 01:23:58,160
We won! We're rich!
1929
01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:00,840
Emily: This is insane!
1930
01:24:00,840 --> 01:24:03,560
I won't agree. I wanna
speak to my attorney.
1931
01:24:06,800 --> 01:24:08,280
I'm your attorney.
1932
01:24:09,960 --> 01:24:12,560
Every shrink
in the great state of Idaho
1933
01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:16,080
has the same malpractice plan
and the same lawyer,
1934
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:17,400
ezri stovall.
1935
01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:19,920
As your attorney
and the one voice
1936
01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:21,440
the insurance company
listens to,
1937
01:24:21,440 --> 01:24:23,640
I recommend we settle
out of court.
1938
01:24:23,640 --> 01:24:27,920
But... but you never
settle out of court.
1939
01:24:31,480 --> 01:24:34,960
I will for you.
1940
01:24:37,720 --> 01:24:39,920
Love means making sacrifices.
1941
01:24:43,920 --> 01:24:44,880
I'm sorry, Emily.
1942
01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:46,880
Would you like some champagne?
1943
01:24:48,080 --> 01:24:50,960
No? Melinda?
1944
01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:53,840
Aah! Goddamn lawyers
and doctors, go to hell!
1945
01:24:55,440 --> 01:24:57,440
Melinda?
1946
01:24:58,320 --> 01:25:00,240
Melinda, wait!
1947
01:25:00,240 --> 01:25:02,600
Ahh! Gahh!
1948
01:25:02,920 --> 01:25:04,040
Roger! Wait!
1949
01:25:04,040 --> 01:25:05,040
Roger!
1950
01:25:05,040 --> 01:25:08,000
Roger! Roger!
1951
01:25:08,840 --> 01:25:12,200
And when did you
come up with all of this?
1952
01:25:12,200 --> 01:25:13,760
After you fell asleep.
1953
01:25:13,760 --> 01:25:14,800
I fell asleep?
1954
01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:15,760
Mm-hmm.
1955
01:25:15,760 --> 01:25:17,680
So we didn't...
1956
01:25:17,680 --> 01:25:20,200
No.
1957
01:25:20,200 --> 01:25:21,360
I missed it.
1958
01:25:21,360 --> 01:25:22,400
I took the liberty
1959
01:25:22,400 --> 01:25:24,960
of rescheduling you for 3:00.
1960
01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:27,240
It's time!
1961
01:25:27,240 --> 01:25:28,920
T-time?
1962
01:25:28,920 --> 01:25:31,080
Uh-huh. The baby.
1963
01:25:31,080 --> 01:25:33,040
Ohh.
1964
01:25:55,960 --> 01:25:57,880
Melinda! I'll follow.
1965
01:26:00,800 --> 01:26:02,240
Roger! Roger!
1966
01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:04,000
Get back here!
1967
01:26:17,040 --> 01:26:18,520
Pull over!
1968
01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:20,680
We need to talk!
1969
01:26:27,360 --> 01:26:29,200
Ohh! Roger!
1970
01:26:29,560 --> 01:26:31,320
Roger!
1971
01:26:31,320 --> 01:26:32,800
Brother, Emily.
1972
01:26:33,480 --> 01:26:34,960
Roger!
1973
01:26:34,960 --> 01:26:38,560
Roger, for the love...
1974
01:26:45,880 --> 01:26:48,600
Come on. Come on.
1975
01:27:15,280 --> 01:27:16,440
Go away! Ohh!
1976
01:27:16,440 --> 01:27:18,240
Guhh. Ok. All right.
1977
01:27:18,240 --> 01:27:20,080
Listen, I must've been crazy
1978
01:27:20,080 --> 01:27:21,440
to risk losing you, ok?
1979
01:27:21,440 --> 01:27:23,240
Screw the money.
Screw the lawyers.
1980
01:27:23,240 --> 01:27:25,200
Screw Larry.
Sc-screw the shrinks.
1981
01:27:25,200 --> 01:27:27,000
I j... I just want you.
1982
01:27:27,000 --> 01:27:28,800
I'm begging you, please.
I'm begging you.
1983
01:27:28,800 --> 01:27:30,960
I need you.
We're a team, remember?
1984
01:27:30,960 --> 01:27:32,720
Siegfried & Roy,
ham and cheese.
1985
01:27:32,720 --> 01:27:34,720
You don't care about the money?
1986
01:27:34,720 --> 01:27:36,240
I don't need money
to be happy, Mel.
1987
01:27:36,240 --> 01:27:39,480
I just need you. That's it.
1988
01:27:39,480 --> 01:27:44,560
I missed you so much.
1989
01:27:44,560 --> 01:27:46,440
Kiss me.
1990
01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:52,200
I lied to you.
1991
01:27:52,200 --> 01:27:54,360
I didn't throw
my diaphragm away or lose it.
1992
01:27:54,360 --> 01:27:54,920
You didn't?
1993
01:27:54,960 --> 01:27:56,360
It's here in my purse.
1994
01:27:56,360 --> 01:28:00,160
And do you... do you have
any of that, uh, sauce?
1995
01:28:00,160 --> 01:28:01,640
Spermicidal gel?
1996
01:28:01,640 --> 01:28:02,680
Say it again.
1997
01:28:02,680 --> 01:28:05,120
Spermicidal gel.
1998
01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:08,920
Go get it, Mel.
We're in business.
1999
01:28:08,920 --> 01:28:10,040
Mr. Happy!
2000
01:28:10,040 --> 01:28:11,200
Let's not call it that anymore.
2001
01:28:11,200 --> 01:28:12,880
What should we call it?!
2002
01:28:12,880 --> 01:28:14,600
I'll think of something.
Let's... come on.
2003
01:28:14,600 --> 01:28:15,480
Ok, ok. All right.
2004
01:28:15,480 --> 01:28:17,640
All right. I'll be right back.
2005
01:28:17,640 --> 01:28:19,000
Oh, my God.
2006
01:28:21,440 --> 01:28:23,800
Oh, God.
2007
01:28:26,280 --> 01:28:27,200
Heh heh.
2008
01:28:27,200 --> 01:28:29,000
Oh, my God.
2009
01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:30,880
Oh, I love birth control.
2010
01:28:30,880 --> 01:28:31,520
Heh heh heh.
2011
01:28:31,520 --> 01:28:33,080
Why are you laughing?
2012
01:28:33,080 --> 01:28:34,320
We're rich.
2013
01:28:34,320 --> 01:28:35,840
There was a settlement,
2014
01:28:35,840 --> 01:28:40,120
and we get almost $2 million.
2015
01:28:40,120 --> 01:28:41,760
We're rich.
2016
01:28:41,760 --> 01:28:43,720
Yeah.
2017
01:28:43,720 --> 01:28:45,640
Ah. We can afford
one of those tract houses.
2018
01:28:45,640 --> 01:28:47,600
Mm-hmm.
2019
01:28:47,760 --> 01:28:48,800
Dan: Oh, God.
2020
01:28:59,280 --> 01:29:00,120
Oh, God! Oh, God!
2021
01:29:01,000 --> 01:29:03,880
Melinda, are you all right?!
2022
01:29:03,880 --> 01:29:06,680
Oh, God. Danny, it's him!
2023
01:29:08,080 --> 01:29:09,480
And that's how we got here.
2024
01:29:09,480 --> 01:29:11,640
Klink, Paige, rice.
2025
01:29:11,640 --> 01:29:13,200
Need a goddamn program.
2026
01:29:13,200 --> 01:29:14,680
Yeah.
2027
01:29:15,080 --> 01:29:16,080
Deputy: Hey.
2028
01:29:16,080 --> 01:29:17,040
Turn that damn thing off.
2029
01:29:17,080 --> 01:29:18,320
All right, I've had
about enough.
2030
01:29:18,360 --> 01:29:21,360
Get yourself in position
near the door. We're going in.
2031
01:29:21,360 --> 01:29:23,120
Deputy: Here.
2032
01:29:23,120 --> 01:29:25,040
Thank you, little lady.
2033
01:29:25,040 --> 01:29:26,880
Dan: Hurry!
2034
01:29:26,880 --> 01:29:28,720
Oh, God! I love you, Danny!
2035
01:29:28,720 --> 01:29:30,320
I love you, too, baby!
2036
01:29:30,320 --> 01:29:34,680
Wait! Let me try
talking to them.
2037
01:29:34,680 --> 01:29:37,680
Melinda, on bullhorn:
Dr. Paige.
2038
01:29:37,680 --> 01:29:39,400
Dr. Klink.
2039
01:29:39,400 --> 01:29:42,800
Honesty first, right?
2040
01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:46,240
I mean, Dr. Paige, what do
you want from Dr. Klink,
2041
01:29:46,240 --> 01:29:48,040
and vice versa?
2042
01:29:48,040 --> 01:29:50,080
Danny and me took your advice.
2043
01:29:50,080 --> 01:29:53,840
We were finally honest
with each other.
2044
01:29:53,840 --> 01:29:55,480
It worked.
2045
01:29:55,480 --> 01:29:56,640
Yeah, a-all relationships
2046
01:29:56,640 --> 01:29:57,880
are killed by, uh, dishonesty,
2047
01:29:57,880 --> 01:29:59,680
repressed feelings,
things left unsaid...
2048
01:29:59,680 --> 01:30:01,320
things like that, you know?
2049
01:30:01,320 --> 01:30:03,360
Come on, you guys.
Honesty first, huh?
2050
01:30:03,360 --> 01:30:05,960
Emily, I wanted to be
with you so bad,
2051
01:30:05,960 --> 01:30:08,920
I was sick after
the otapi conference.
2052
01:30:09,760 --> 01:30:11,480
Roger, I want you.
2053
01:30:11,480 --> 01:30:13,160
I've wanted to be
close to you since Denver.
2054
01:30:13,160 --> 01:30:14,920
It's all I've ever wanted.
2055
01:30:14,920 --> 01:30:16,360
My wife and I were married
2056
01:30:16,360 --> 01:30:17,800
because of a grammatical
misunderstanding.
2057
01:30:17,800 --> 01:30:19,400
She thought I proposed.
2058
01:30:19,400 --> 01:30:20,800
I only meant.
2059
01:30:20,800 --> 01:30:22,200
I could hypothetically
marry her.
2060
01:30:22,200 --> 01:30:23,560
I only married Mr. Paige
to make you jealous.
2061
01:30:23,560 --> 01:30:25,040
I... I fantasized that you
2062
01:30:25,040 --> 01:30:26,520
would burst into the church
and stop it.
2063
01:30:26,520 --> 01:30:27,560
That was my fantasy.
2064
01:30:27,560 --> 01:30:29,480
I wanted to, but I was afraid.
2065
01:30:29,480 --> 01:30:31,320
Oh, Roger, let's start over,
honesty first.
2066
01:30:31,320 --> 01:30:34,400
I... I was thinking
there's gotta be a need
2067
01:30:34,400 --> 01:30:37,040
for couples counseling
on grand Cayman, right?
2068
01:30:37,040 --> 01:30:39,760
That's what I was thinking.
2069
01:30:39,760 --> 01:30:41,800
I love you, Emily.
2070
01:30:42,320 --> 01:30:45,400
Ohh. I love you, Roger.
2071
01:30:48,280 --> 01:30:49,440
Aah! Don't shoot me!
2072
01:30:49,440 --> 01:30:51,360
Oh, God! Danny!
2073
01:30:51,360 --> 01:30:52,640
Aah!
2074
01:30:52,640 --> 01:30:54,360
Aah!
2075
01:30:54,360 --> 01:30:55,200
Medic: What the?
2076
01:30:57,680 --> 01:31:00,200
Melinda! Melinda!
2077
01:31:00,200 --> 01:31:01,880
Melinda!
2078
01:31:01,880 --> 01:31:04,600
Go evasive! Go evasive!
2079
01:31:04,600 --> 01:31:05,400
Are you shot?
2080
01:31:05,400 --> 01:31:06,680
No. It's champagne.
2081
01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:07,640
Champagne?
2082
01:31:07,640 --> 01:31:10,720
Get in there, trousdale.
2083
01:31:13,760 --> 01:31:15,480
Aw, shit.
2084
01:31:24,640 --> 01:31:26,760
Careful, trousdale.
2085
01:31:29,960 --> 01:31:32,360
Well?
2086
01:31:33,680 --> 01:31:36,480
Ohh. Ohh, in circles. Ohh.
2087
01:31:36,480 --> 01:31:39,120
The crisis will be resolved
2088
01:31:39,120 --> 01:31:42,560
in about 30 seconds, sir.
2089
01:31:45,120 --> 01:31:48,800
Goddamn it, you two
better hold on tight this time.
2090
01:31:48,800 --> 01:31:51,440
There isn't anybody else
in the world
2091
01:31:51,440 --> 01:31:52,720
that could love you.
2092
01:31:52,720 --> 01:31:53,680
Yes, sir.
2093
01:31:53,680 --> 01:31:56,240
Heh. Don't worry.
2094
01:32:10,120 --> 01:32:14,160
Consuela, we're
just getting started.
2095
01:32:18,040 --> 01:32:20,880
God, I love a happy ending.
2096
01:32:44,560 --> 01:32:48,400
Lucky Larry's lift.
Come down and get lucky.
2097
01:36:33,800 --> 01:36:36,200
Captioning made possible by
lions gate entertainment
2098
01:36:36,200 --> 01:36:40,520
captioned by the national captioning institute.
Www.Ncicap.Org...
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