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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,200 ¶ Huhh ¶ 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,160 ¶ hahh ¶ 3 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:21,760 Captioning made possible by lions gate entertainment. 4 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,520 There you are. 5 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,200 Meli... 6 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,880 man: Oh, God! 7 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,160 Oh, God. Come on. 8 00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,080 Melinda! 9 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,080 Open up! It's me! 10 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:32,600 Man: Hey, asshole! 11 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,800 Use the door knocker. 12 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,440 Oh. 13 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,080 Oh! Oh, I love you! 14 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:49,720 Melinda! 15 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,480 Are you all right?! 16 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,680 Oh, God! Danny, it's him! 17 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:55,760 He followed us here! 18 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,520 Hey, there is somebody else in there! 19 00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,920 Open this door! 20 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,600 Melinda! I... 21 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:07,600 aah! 22 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,120 Hey, hey, hey! 23 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,080 Aah! 24 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,920 Call the police! 25 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,000 Unh! 26 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,080 Hey, asshole, try the doorknob! 27 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,600 Let me in! 28 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,720 Get your hands off her! 29 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:27,960 You. 30 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,600 What? Meli... 31 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,640 Jesus chr... 32 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,000 you're screwing your husband?! 33 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:33,840 Your husband. 34 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,200 He followed me here, 35 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,000 and we realized 36 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,000 we deserve each other. 37 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,120 Isn't that romantic, Dr. Klink? 38 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,440 Roger. 39 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:41,760 Call me Roger, for Christ sakes. 40 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,960 Maybe you should try going home 41 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,800 and working it out with your wife. 42 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,120 Go to hell, Roger. 43 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,400 Ex-wife, ex-home, ok? 44 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,640 Melinda: I understand now 45 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,200 that I was transgressing my love for Dan onto you, 46 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,920 and you were countertransgressing. 47 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,880 Transferring! Bullshit! 48 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,440 Yeah, any time a shrink 49 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:02,960 is thinking about a patient more than he normally does, 50 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,480 he should ask himself, "am I countertransferring?" 51 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:07,520 Shut up. You can't even get an erection, for God s... 52 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,320 I just had one, buddy. 53 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,320 Hair! Hair! 54 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,520 He's biting! 55 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,840 Dan: I got him! 56 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:23,400 Melinda: Dr. Paige, thank God you're here. 57 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,320 3 peas in a pod. 58 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,400 Emily, they were fornicating like a couple of honeymooners. 59 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,640 Dr. Paige, Melinda and I 60 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,440 have worked through our problem. 61 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,640 Shut up. You... 62 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,480 aah! Dr. Paige! 63 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:36,480 Aah! 64 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:37,520 It's all right! It's ok! Sorry! 65 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,520 It has a hair trigger. It's ok. 66 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,960 Hey, hey, put the gun down, Dr. Paige. 67 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:41,880 Shoot them, Emily. 68 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:42,960 This is all your fault, Roger! 69 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,400 Everything could've been so different! 70 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:48,920 Oh, sorry. Sorry. It's touchy. 71 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,520 It's touchy. 72 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,000 Melinda, come back in here! 73 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,280 Emily, I understand you're upset. 74 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,600 Sometimes you just have to let it out. 75 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,680 Just try and let it out. 76 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:07,320 Save your engaging devices, Roger. 77 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,960 No more bullshit! 78 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,400 None! 79 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,880 I've come for us! 80 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,640 Sorry! Sorry. 81 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,000 Over here! Over here! 82 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,960 Hurry! Hurry! Over here! 83 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,320 Hurry! Dr. Paige has a gun. 84 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:25,880 Who's Dr. Paige? 85 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,480 Our marriage counselor. She's gonna kill 86 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,480 my husband and Dr. Klink. 87 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,520 Your marriage counselor's gonna kill your husband? 88 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,480 And Dr. Klink. 89 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,240 Dr. Paige, hi. 90 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,360 Uh, I wanna thank you 91 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,040 for giving Melinda and I the... 92 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,680 the tools to help communicate and share our feelings. 93 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:39,120 Shut up! Ok. 94 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,520 Emily, you're very upset. 95 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:41,920 Sometimes we can feel as if our lives 96 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:43,920 are just spiraling out of control, 97 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:44,800 just spiraling. 98 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,160 Save your psychobabble 99 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,480 for your little Doe-eyed patients, Roger. 100 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:48,480 Ok. Ok, terrific. 101 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,440 You two obviously have some issues 102 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:50,440 you need to work through. 103 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,360 Thank God. 104 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:52,280 No. No. Wait. Move it, klink. 105 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:56,080 Out of my way! Mel, it's me! Open up! 106 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,000 Dan: Somebody help me! 107 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,960 Melinda: Don't worry, Danny! 108 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,120 Wow. What do we got, sir? 109 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,840 Hostage situation. 2 therapists. 110 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,480 Domestic or international? 111 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,720 Therapists. Shrinks. 112 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:13,800 Shrinks? 113 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,440 It's a joke, right? 114 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,400 Some kind of surprise party? 115 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,320 It's not a goddamn party. It's very serious. 116 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,240 Her marriage counselor's threatening to kill 117 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,000 her husband and her therapist. 118 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,040 He's not technically my therapist. 119 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,960 Hey, you're the lady from those sex tapes. 120 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,480 Sex tapes? What sex tapes? 121 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,360 His hands were under my dress, 122 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,720 firmly holding on to my hips, 123 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,560 moving me back and forth away from him. 124 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,040 Ok, maybe I better start at the beginning. 125 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,440 About 2 years ago, Danny lost his erection. 126 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,320 You gotta see these tapes, sir. 127 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:45,880 Pretty soon, Danny and me 128 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,200 weren't even talking, and then. 129 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,080 Danny slept with that cocktail waitress. 130 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,920 I thought he couldn't get an erection. 131 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:52,880 So did I. Right. 132 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,120 Our marriage was doomed. 133 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,480 Then I saw Dr. Paige's ad 134 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:57,480 on a bus bench. 135 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:58,720 "Save your marriage today." 136 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,240 "Tomorrow will be too late." 137 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,040 Her big deal is honesty. 138 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,000 Honesty first. 139 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,560 The key is honesty. 140 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,960 Marriage is hard. 141 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,800 I know. I've been married 3 times. 142 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,320 You're divorced? 143 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,800 3 times. That's why I speak from experience... 144 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:26,960 what kind of track record is that for a marriage counselor? 145 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,120 Dan! Dan? What, "Dan"? 146 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,080 Come on. We're taking marriage advice 147 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,880 from somebody that's been divorced 148 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,880 and advertises on bus benches. Wh-what? 149 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,080 Stay with us, Dan. 150 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,400 You know the story 151 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,800 about the guy who goes to the barbershop. 152 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,640 There are 2 barbers, both available. 153 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,520 One barber has a terrific haircut. 154 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,120 The other barber's hair looks just awful. 155 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,240 Which barber would you go to? 156 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:58,200 You'd go to the barber with the bad haircut, 157 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,240 not the barber with the good haircut, see? 158 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,640 The bad haircut cuts the other one's hair, 159 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:05,720 and vice versa. 160 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,240 That is why it is actually a plus 161 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,560 that I'm thrice divorced. 162 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,200 Ok. 163 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,120 Let's start over. 164 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,240 What do you want out of this therapy? 165 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:25,960 We... 166 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,760 I wanna save our marriage. 167 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,760 Uh, yeah. Me... me, too, yeah. 168 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:30,840 Great. 169 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:31,920 Now talking about our problems 170 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,520 is the first step. 171 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,240 You can tell me anything, 172 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,040 and hopefully you two can learn 173 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,960 to communicate honestly with each other. 174 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,360 What's the problem? 175 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,480 Well, uh... 176 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,720 Danny and me... 177 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,800 We haven't been... 178 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:53,160 Familiar with each other in a while. 179 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,840 "Familiar"? 180 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,320 Intimate. 181 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,760 No sexual intercourse? 182 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:58,960 Jesus, lady. 183 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,200 What about oral sex or mutual masturbation? 184 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,480 Oh, my God, Mel. Let's get outta here. 185 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,120 We don't need to see some shrink. 186 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,040 No. I think we do, Dan. 187 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,440 He has a problem with... 188 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,240 don't. Come on. Why? 189 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,200 Mr. Happy. 190 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:15,120 "Mr. Happy"? 191 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,160 His penis. 192 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,160 My... just say it! Penis! 193 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,760 I can't get my penis to stand up. 194 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,360 I-I-I'm impotent or something. 195 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,760 I can't wake the baby. 196 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,880 I-I've... I can't get a hard-on! 197 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,480 Is everybody happy now?! Can we go? 198 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,280 Dan is impotent. 199 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,080 Only with me. 200 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,200 That was an accident. 201 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,320 Dan accidentally screwed that cocktail waitress! 202 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,120 I thought Dan couldn't get an erection. 203 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:36,160 So did I. 204 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,160 Well, Melinda's been so damn depressed 205 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:37,960 lately, you know? 206 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,520 It's pretty depressing 207 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,600 when you can't excite your own husband. 208 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,800 Great. We have made some real progress. 209 00:10:56,520 --> 00:11:00,160 All those in favor, raise your hands. 210 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,760 Dr. Paige. 211 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,720 You may rejoin the group. 212 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,200 Dr. Paige, it is the duty of this committee 213 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,000 to defend the integrity of the psychiatric arts 214 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,120 in the Boise, nampa, Caldwell tri-city area. 215 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,360 Dr. Paige... 216 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,600 if we allow bus bench advertising, what's next? 217 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,040 Billboards? 218 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:38,680 Cable TV? 219 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,920 Following our bylaws 220 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:43,360 pertaining to outdoor advertising, 221 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,480 the fine is set at $250. 222 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,440 Roger! 223 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,480 Huh? Oh. 224 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,640 Hello, Emily. 225 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,640 Sorry about the fine. 226 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,400 Ah, it's only 250 bucks. 227 00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,520 I'll write it off. Oh. 228 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,280 Besides, I already got a couple of clients 229 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,840 from the bus bunch. 230 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,400 It's funny. I was thinking about you 231 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:06,400 the other day. 232 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:07,960 Me? Really? 233 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,840 Are you seeing anyone new? 234 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,240 Oh, I'm s-still married. 235 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,720 I... I meant patients. 236 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,240 Th-there's a woman I'd like you to see. 237 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,040 She's very, very depressed. 238 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,720 I think her depression is at the root 239 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,640 of her sexual problems with her husband. 240 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,560 You could really help her. 241 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,440 I've been scaling back. I'm not really adding patients. 242 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,720 Well, we talked about how great it would be 243 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:28,600 to collaborate sometime, 244 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:29,480 and this couple's perfect. 245 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,920 Uh, marriage is on the rocks. 246 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,000 I'll take the boy. You take the girl. 247 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,280 We can confer and strategize, 248 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,640 see if together we can help save their marriage. 249 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,240 How's your wife? 250 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,880 Ok. 251 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,720 And your husband? 252 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,520 Uh, th-the new one. 253 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,640 He's my new ex. 254 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,440 I moved out last weekend. 255 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,640 Really? Just... 256 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,520 Like that. 257 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,480 Just like that. 258 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,000 It's for the best. 259 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,160 So what do you say? 260 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,160 There's nothing else to say. 261 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,040 Dan's gone off me. 262 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,720 This is a waste of time. 263 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,200 Ok, I feel like we're stuck. 264 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,080 Melinda, I want you to see a colleague of mine. 265 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,560 You're giving up on me? 266 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,480 I want you to see Dr. Klink. 267 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,600 He's something of a depression expert 268 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:11,640 from the old school. 269 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,360 What's a depression expert? 270 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,680 What a cliché. 271 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,800 First the affair in Denver. 272 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,360 Then the red corvette. 273 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:40,040 What's next, face-lifts and liposuction? 274 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,360 "Desire fades." 275 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,400 Pssh. That's a... 276 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,920 Who is she? Hmm? 277 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,320 Hmm? 278 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:50,200 Is it your new receptionist? 279 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,960 You think I need liposuction? 280 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,600 You're not rehashing Denver, are you? 281 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,680 Are you? 282 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:57,800 Are you screwing Dr. Rice again?! 283 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,400 No! There's no one! There w... 284 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,920 We're not happy. 285 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,080 Go to hell, Roger. 286 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,240 Asshole. 287 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,520 Door, please. 288 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,400 Unsafe at any speed. 289 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,680 Oh, the elevator? 290 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,720 No, your corvette. 291 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:19,160 "Unsafe at any speed." 292 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,960 That's a corvair, "unsafe at any speed." 293 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,680 It looks just like a corvette. 294 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,760 Funky elevator. 295 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,240 I try not to speak ill of it. I got stuck once. 296 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,160 By yourself? 297 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,080 Yeah. 298 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,440 How boring. 299 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,880 Heh. 300 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,880 Is that why you carry a change of clothes? 301 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,680 Oh, this. No. 302 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:03,160 I left my wife just now, this morning. 303 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,200 You're kidding. 304 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,280 Is this your floor? 305 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,440 Yes. 306 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:27,640 I'm here to see Dr. Klick. 307 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,960 He's an old-fashioned depression expert. 308 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,400 You mean Dr. Klink? 309 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,840 Yes. 310 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,160 I'm Dr. Klink. 311 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,200 You're Dr. Klink? Heh. 312 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,600 You're kidding. 313 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,040 I pictured a bald head, long face, pointy beard. 314 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,600 Who called me old-fashioned? 315 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,840 Dr. Paige. 316 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,080 Y-you mean Emily? 317 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:56,760 Well, anyway, I'll see you inside. 318 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,000 Inside and out, I suppose. 319 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,160 On the ins... 320 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,080 ins... in... in my office. 321 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,280 This is my door. 322 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:21,800 Oh. 323 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,720 Patients go in that door over there. 324 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,400 Wait. 325 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,880 Your tie's crooked. 326 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,320 I guess your wife didn't check you 327 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,000 before you left the house. 328 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,520 Just go right in. 329 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,960 Tuesday, June 16... 330 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,320 Testing 1, 2. 1, 2. 331 00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,680 Test... goddamn. 332 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,280 Dr. Klink. 333 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,000 Yes? 334 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,200 Your 9:45 is here. 335 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,000 O... yes. Yes. 336 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,200 Test 1, 2. 1, 2. 337 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,000 Test 1, 2, 3. 338 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:13,640 Shit. 339 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,640 Sorry. Test 1, 2, 1, 2. 340 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,440 Test... 341 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:18,920 come in. 342 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,120 It's very cold in here. 343 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:30,640 Well, you'll need to... 344 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,040 Remember a sweater. 345 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,920 No, no. I meant the decor. 346 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,000 It's... it's so blue. 347 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,600 Alrighty. 348 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,120 Mrs. Carmichael, would you like to sit here. 349 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,440 Is that where you want me to sit? 350 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,880 I don't want you to sit anywhere. I mean... 351 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,440 I see. 352 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,000 What happened to that friendly man 353 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,160 I met on the elevator? 354 00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:00,000 Look, uh, we had an inappropriate debut, 355 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:00,800 but I... 356 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,640 is that what we had? 357 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,560 Yes, we... please. 358 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,160 So, um... 359 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,480 Why are you here? 360 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,600 I'm trying to save my marriage. 361 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:20,920 Ah. 362 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,440 I've been so depressed lately. 363 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,240 I keep thinking it'll pass, 364 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,280 but it doesn't. 365 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,320 You're a little hangdog one morning. 366 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,760 Then suddenly you're on a shrink's lap. 367 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,080 Chair. Heh. 368 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,480 Heh heh heh. 369 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,560 Well, you don't... 370 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,000 Seem very depressed right this moment. 371 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000 I'm not. 372 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,400 I was. 373 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,800 I almost didn't get off the elevator. 374 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,400 It's pretty depressing to think 375 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,600 you need to see a depression expert. 376 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:53,040 My marriage expert's been divorced 3 times. 377 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,480 You must be really depressed. 378 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,560 Let's... 379 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:05,960 Um, so, w-why don't you, um, tell me more about you? 380 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:12,320 I'm married to a man who doesn't get turned on by me. 381 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,600 Ah. 382 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:17,720 Do you blame me? 383 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,440 Why would I blame you? 384 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,320 Not me. Uh, him. 385 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,200 I... I di... I... I asked if you blamed your husband. 386 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,160 No, you said, "me." "Do you blame me?" 387 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,240 No, I di... I... I meant... 388 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,000 Your husband, of course. 389 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000 Of course. 390 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,200 Dan started sleeping 391 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,440 in the living room on the couch 392 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,720 that's the beginning of the end, 393 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,120 don't you think? 394 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,360 It certainly suggests 395 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,800 a lack of intimacy. 396 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:51,640 We stopped being intimate almost 2 years ago. 397 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,000 I shouldn't tell you this. 398 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,040 No, no. 399 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,000 You just... no, no. 400 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:58,760 Dr. Klink. 401 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,280 No, no, no. I'm s... 402 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,200 please, sit down. 403 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,000 I... 404 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,000 You can tell me anything that... 405 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,680 Really. It's... 406 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,880 One night, I get up to use the bathroom, 407 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,360 and I looked in on Dan. 408 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:24,280 He sleeps in his boxers, and it was a hot night, 409 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,760 and the covers were off, 410 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,880 and so I could see his... 411 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,600 Mr. Happy. 412 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,280 Mr. Happy? 413 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,440 His thingy. 414 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,640 His pe... 415 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,240 uh, member. 416 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:37,920 Peeking out. 417 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:39,600 So I decided to try a little experiment 418 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,560 to see if Dan was broken 419 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,200 or if he'd just gone off me. 420 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,240 An experiment? 421 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,880 I snuck up... 422 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,000 On my knees, 423 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:58,840 and with my mouth, I... 424 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,760 Kissed... 425 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,400 Mr. Happy. 426 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,760 Ohh. 427 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:11,960 But when I tried to make love, 428 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:13,720 he... his... 429 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,560 It fizzled away 430 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,440 when he woke up and realized it was me. 431 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,000 Dan's gone off me. 432 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,640 Desire fades. 433 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,280 That... that is a depressing thought. 434 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:26,320 Yes. It I... 435 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,040 I'm sorry. 436 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,720 I'm sorry. 437 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,880 I'm in a transitional phase in my life, 438 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,560 and I... 439 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,240 I'm not taking... 440 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,080 taking on any more patients. 441 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,040 But see, you helped me already. 442 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,000 Really, I can't. 443 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,160 If there were 2 shrinks in a small town 444 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,760 and one was crazy and the other sane, 445 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,200 which one would you go to see, the crazy one or the sane one? 446 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,680 I've never heard of this one before. 447 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,120 You'd go to the crazy one. 448 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:55,560 'Cause if there were only two in the town, 449 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,160 you'd wanna see the one who helped the other one. 450 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:01,160 O... you mean if there were just the two 451 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,080 and they were each... I see. 452 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,440 Dr. Klink, 453 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,120 your 10:30's here. 454 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,840 You hear that? Do you hear that? 455 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,480 I mean, I... 456 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,760 Would love to just sit... 457 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:16,520 just to s-sit here and talk with you... 458 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,080 All afternoon. 459 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:24,040 But if I run even 5 minutes over on one session, 460 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,920 my whole week could be thrown off. 461 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,000 Hell, the rest of my life. 462 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,800 You know... 463 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,880 I'd gladly recommend to you someone else. 464 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,280 Um, this is a list of qualified 465 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,040 mental health professionals in Boise. 466 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,680 Meli... 467 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,160 Dr. Klink, what are you doing? 468 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,840 I'm chasing after you. 469 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,040 What about your 10:30? 470 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,600 No, just... I just, uh... 471 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,560 Well, I... 472 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,840 I left my wife, and... 473 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,160 Since you're not my... my patient 474 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,280 and since this... 475 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,120 Well, since this isn't my office, 476 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:30,240 I... 477 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,480 It's stuck again. 478 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,000 Mmm. Dr. Klink... 479 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:52,880 no. Roger. 480 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,160 That was so therapeutic. 481 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,760 Listen, we... you shouldn't call me Dr. Klink. 482 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,600 It might give people the wrong impression. 483 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:01,960 I... mmm. 484 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,880 But I... I feel so free and open. 485 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,840 I wish Dan had come with me. 486 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,600 I mean, maybe he could benefit from your expertise. 487 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,720 I don't feel depressed at all! 488 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,640 Hello! 489 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,560 Shh. Don't talk. 490 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,040 Dispatch: Breaker 1-12... 491 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,360 Uh... 492 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,600 Are you folks ok? You seem flushed 493 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,040 and out of breath. No. 494 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:27,920 See you next week, Dr. Klink. 495 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,720 Uh, Roger. 496 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:36,240 I-I'm not actually her doctor. It's a... 497 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,240 A figure of speech. 498 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,960 Melinda: He's a genius. 499 00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,320 His method is so subtle. 500 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,080 It sneaked right up on me. 501 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,960 What did he do, exactly? 502 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,320 He got me to talk. 503 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,600 Sort of. 504 00:25:58,600 --> 00:25:59,840 How many sessions have you had? 505 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:01,520 Just the one. 506 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,520 What a man. 507 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:05,600 He is a genius. 508 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,920 Dan: Hey, uh, hi. 509 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,960 What about my needs? 510 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,000 Am I a part of this therapy stuff, or what? 511 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:18,840 "Mas... mastering masturbation"? 512 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,920 Oh, it's a wonderful guide... 513 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,400 techniques, fantasy games, 514 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,800 lubricants, all in historical context. 515 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:28,120 Did you know that Edison was an avid masturbator? 516 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,400 It's where he got his best ideas. 517 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,480 No, e-Edison stole his best ideas. 518 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,160 Whatever. Maybe it was Einstein. 519 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,120 Heh heh. 520 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:38,200 You look fabulous. 521 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,440 Possible dissertation subject... orgasms and happiness. 522 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,360 Why is it all the world seems rosy... 523 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,080 It's Dr. Paige, regarding Melinda. 524 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,040 I'll call her back. 525 00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,840 She's on her way in. 526 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,840 You son of a bitch. I cannot believe 527 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,760 what you did with Melinda Carmichael. 528 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:04,880 She told you? 529 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,360 Told me?! It's all over her face. 530 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,680 I never took any money, and all I did 531 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:11,720 was a preliminary interview, so technically she... 532 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:15,600 it's absolutely wonderful. 533 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:17,600 Really? 534 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,960 Now the big challenge is to somehow 535 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,360 get these 2 people to reconnect 536 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:22,160 emotionally and sexually. 537 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,680 Can I buy you lunch? 538 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,680 Today? Uh... 539 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,640 Well, I'm seeing Mrs. Carmichael. 540 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,840 During lunchtime. 541 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,760 Ohh! Oh, Dr. Klink, 542 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,680 Roger. Roger. 543 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,680 Call me Roger. 544 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,280 Ohh. Ohh! 545 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,280 Oh! Oh, Dr. Klink! 546 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:41,480 Ohh! Look! 547 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,040 Ohh! A helicopter. 548 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,160 Wow. 549 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:57,440 Maybe it was a transplant. 550 00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:58,600 What? 551 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,360 The helicopter... 552 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:04,680 Was carrying a little white ice chest 553 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,040 with a red cross on it. 554 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,760 Imagine waking up 555 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,120 with a whole new heart, Dr. Klink. 556 00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:15,240 Please, call me Roger. 557 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,680 Ohh. Danny and me used to have 558 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,720 so much in common. 559 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,880 Everything we did together 560 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,720 was making love, not just sex, 561 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:29,120 but cooking together. 562 00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:33,200 And then we took a trip to salt lake city, 563 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:37,280 and he was like my... my big brother 564 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,080 and my friend and... 565 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,760 I... Lover all rolled into... 566 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,520 I don't... ok. We have to talk. 567 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:47,400 I just... I've gotta listen to patients all afternoon. 568 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,720 I'm just trying to tell you... 569 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,360 that I felt so good 570 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,600 since last week's session 571 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,360 that I told Danny about us. 572 00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,640 You what? Yes. 573 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,920 You... you told your husband about us?! 574 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,920 Ohh! Oh, my God! 575 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,680 It was amazing and spontaneous, 576 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,680 like we used to be. 577 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,640 What the hell did I do to deserve this?! 578 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:13,560 You screwed that cocktail waitress. 579 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:17,360 But it wasn't spontaneous or amazing! 580 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,360 Aah! 581 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:19,360 You shouldn't have told him. 582 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:20,960 But you... you talked about honesty. 583 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,000 No. No, no, no. Dr. Paige talks about honesty. 584 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,080 I'm still on the fence. Some lying is good. 585 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,560 You didn't give him the details. 586 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,440 Wow. Elevator sex. 587 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:34,320 Damn. I've always admired Melinda's spunk. 588 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:35,480 Larry! 589 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,600 Now you're even, bro. 590 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,040 How did he take it? 591 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:40,000 He followed me here. 592 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,520 He what? Shh, shh. Shh, shh. 593 00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,800 I don't notice... is... ahh? 594 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:59,440 Oh, g... je... 595 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,120 Melinda, I... 596 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:05,200 it's over, you and me. It's... 597 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,160 Dan needs you. He loves you. 598 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:10,040 He followed you here. Isn't that romantic? 599 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,160 Listen... 600 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,280 Take what you've gotten out of our time together. 601 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,680 Focus it back on Dan. 602 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:17,640 Are you saying that 603 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,720 as my lover or my therapist? 604 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,000 Therapist. 605 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,240 I mean, if I was your therapist, which I'm not, but... 606 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,400 You know, we have nothing in common. 607 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,040 This isn't a relationship 608 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:29,040 based on mutual respect 609 00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:30,400 or understanding or common interests. 610 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,400 It's based on sex. That's all. Ahh. 611 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,080 Take it. Uhh. 612 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:36,800 Oh, my God. We come from different worlds. 613 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,800 I've got a phd, for God sakes. 614 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,640 You probably barely graduated from high school. 615 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:42,640 I have an a.A. 616 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:43,760 From Boise community college 617 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:45,520 and a... and a certificate 618 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,120 of physical therapy! 619 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,720 Exactly. The two of you are more suited. 620 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,440 You're p-perfect for one anoth... 621 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,080 go home to what's his... Dan. 622 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,840 Mmm! 623 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,400 Divorced? 624 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,360 But you two were doing much better. 625 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,640 I wish you'd never sent me to see Dr. Klink. 626 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,240 Mmm. Therapy can be very intense. 627 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:14,160 Especially oral therapy. 628 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:15,040 Dan, don't be crass. 629 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,160 Crass? It's pretty damn crass 630 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,920 without me saying anything about it. 631 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,120 You had... they had sex in an elevator. 632 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:21,880 What? Who did? 633 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,400 Dr. Klink and me. 634 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:24,920 You slept with Dr. Klink in an elevator? 635 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,280 Oh, yeah, they slept. 636 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:27,640 Like a couple of dogs in heat, they slept. 637 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,480 You're disgusting! At least I didn't have to 638 00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,560 bend over backwards to get him aroused. 639 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,360 Oh, I thought that's exactly what you did do 640 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,240 bastard! I wanted this to work out. 641 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,960 Was the elevator your idea or his? 642 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,280 Dan: Does it matter? 643 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,000 Heh. 644 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,560 You son of a bitch! 645 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,720 In the elevator. In the elevator. 646 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:46,680 Emily, it just happened. 647 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,800 She wasn't technically my patient. 648 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,200 Oh, save it for the board! 649 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:51,680 You didn't tell the board. 650 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,520 Of course I told the board. 651 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,520 This is outrageous! 652 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,360 Kindly keep your voice down. 653 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,120 The amount is regulated by the bylaws. 654 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:05,520 Specifically number 47 calls for fines of up to $25 655 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:06,520 for inappropriate behavior. 656 00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:08,000 Inappropriate behavior?! 657 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,440 He was having sex with his patient 658 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,320 in an elevator. 659 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,200 Ah. She wasn't technically his patient. 660 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,040 The minute she walked into his office, 661 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,040 she was his patient. 662 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,040 No, no. Technically she was 663 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,480 your patient, Dr. Paige. 664 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:19,600 My patient?! 665 00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:20,720 I think the fine is fair. 666 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,400 I was fined 250 bucks 667 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,480 for advertising on a bus bench. 668 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:27,000 He's fined $25 for screwing in an elevator. 669 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,480 Byline 17 is very specific 670 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:30,600 with regards to 671 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:31,760 permissible outdoor advertising. 672 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,720 A hooker costs more than that. 673 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,040 Dr. Paige, that's enough. 674 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,080 It is more than enough. 675 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,120 Who should I make the check out to? 676 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,320 You hurt me, Roger. 677 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:41,520 All you had to do was call me. 678 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:42,800 Why didn't you just call me? 679 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:43,880 I'm sorry, Emily. 680 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,560 You will be. 681 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:51,400 Heh. 682 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,440 I really am sorry, Emily. 683 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,960 Let bygones be bygones? 684 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,440 Listen, Buster. You're not off the hook. 685 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,320 You're going down. You will lose everything... 686 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:03,680 money, your license. 687 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,000 By the time this is over, you will never practice again. 688 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,920 What are you gonna do? 689 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:08,880 Nosta. 690 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,720 Nosta. 691 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,040 What the heck is a nosta? 692 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,800 The national organization to stop therapist abuse. 693 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:22,920 National? I don't know 694 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,280 if this is the right thing to do. 695 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,920 I really just want Danny back. 696 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,800 We need to teach Dr. Klink a lesson. 697 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,560 Danny. 698 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:31,480 Hi, Mel. 699 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,040 Ok, let me do all the talking. 700 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,800 Wait, what law school was it you said you went to? 701 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:37,680 Careful, toots. 702 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:38,560 You're the one who sent 703 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:39,800 my vulnerable sister-in-law 704 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,040 into the arms of that Dr. Krink. 705 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,200 It's klink, Larry, and shut up! 706 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:44,960 You should have talked to me 707 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,840 before you called anyone. 708 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,760 We're gonna nail that son of a bitch. 709 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,160 There she is. 710 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,520 Consuela Ann barker, esquire, 711 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,160 of barker, barker, beacons & Bauer, 712 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,000 who represent nosta. 713 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,880 I'm the second barker. You can call me Connie. 714 00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,320 You must be the victim. 715 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,400 Lawrence p. Carmichael, esquire, a.B.D. 716 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,120 I'll be handling all negotiations. 717 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,920 We'll hear your proposal. 718 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,680 Let me remind you you are 719 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,440 the very first national abuse group we've contacted, 720 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,840 so we're looking for a competitive preemptive figure 721 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:14,000 which will act as a deterrent to other advocacy groups 722 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,880 which we may be inclined to go. 723 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:17,760 To. 724 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,640 All but degree. My client... 725 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:22,880 take a powder, Lawrence. 726 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,600 This is a serious situation. 727 00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:26,320 You are way out of your league. 728 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,040 Take your pet monkey with you. 729 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:29,640 Just a second. 730 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,240 That's my husband. 731 00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:32,880 I need to speak to you privately, 732 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,440 without the peanut gallery. 733 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:35,960 Connie: It's precisely these gray-zone cases 734 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:37,000 that we must win. 735 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:38,640 We need to send a message, 736 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:39,600 a strong message. 737 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,560 We'll have to prove the doctor 738 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:41,800 took advantage of your fragile ego 739 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:42,800 and lured you into 740 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,880 psychosexual emotional bondage. 741 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,080 Psycho what? 742 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:47,280 He is a master manipulator. 743 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,240 It is that quiet, lost puppy quality. 744 00:34:49,240 --> 00:34:51,440 I felt an attraction for Dr. Klink. 745 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,520 Transference refers to strong feelings 746 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:54,560 that the patient... you... 747 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,160 erroneously transfers to a therapist... 748 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,240 Dr. Klink... but which in fact originated 749 00:34:58,240 --> 00:34:59,640 out of earlier relationships. 750 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,960 You mean like with my husband, maybe? 751 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:08,320 Perhaps an even earlier relationship. 752 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:11,640 Ahh. Hot. 753 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:12,680 Melinda, where did this 754 00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:14,040 immoral congress transpire? 755 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:14,760 Immoral congress? 756 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,040 In a goddamn elevator. 757 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,000 Elevator sex. Whew. 758 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,120 And in his office. 759 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,080 On his couch? 760 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:19,960 And on the desk. 761 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:20,880 Mmm. And why did you go 762 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,240 to Dr. Klink in the first place? 763 00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,680 Dr. Paige sent me to him. 764 00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,120 She said he would take care of me the old-fashioned way. 765 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:31,400 He's... he's a specialist, a depression expert. 766 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,320 We met at a communication conference, and... 767 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,320 we'll get it all in the deposition. 768 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:35,880 My deposition? 769 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,160 You're a key witness. 770 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,720 Ok, let's, uh, skip the elevator for now. 771 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:41,440 Take me through this couch coupling. 772 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:44,240 Well, it's... it's a little embarrassing. 773 00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:46,720 Um, we started on the desk. 774 00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:48,800 Have you ever heard the name ezri stovall? 775 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:52,480 He is the malpractice insurance go-to guy 776 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,240 in this region. 777 00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:56,000 He rarely loses, never settles. 778 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,560 He will be ruthless. 779 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,320 Now, I know this is difficult, 780 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:02,520 but it's important that you recall 781 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,240 the exact details 782 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,960 and specific sequence of events. 783 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,840 Well, um, it's a little hazy, 784 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,640 but I know he, Dr. Klink, 785 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:12,600 went down on me. 786 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:13,880 Cunnilingus. You ok? 787 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,480 What else did he do? 788 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,760 I went down on him. 789 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:17,720 Fellatio! 790 00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:18,680 You know, I don't think 791 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:20,720 we wanna play this oral sex card. 792 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,560 It's illegal in this state. 793 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:23,320 It is? 794 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:24,280 It's sodomy. 795 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,960 Oral sex is sodomy? 796 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:27,680 "To carnally know any male or female person 797 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,160 by the anus or mouth." 798 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,400 It's a class-a misdemeanor. 799 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,040 I don't wanna hurt Dr. Klink. 800 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:33,880 I just wanted to save my marriage. 801 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,680 Being with Dr. Klink made me realize 802 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,080 how much Danny and me have in common. 803 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,840 We will crush Dr. Klink. 804 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:43,400 Look at you. My God, just look at you. 805 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:44,520 Dr. Paige is right. 806 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,200 You poor, pathetic woman. 807 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,240 He's destroyed you. 808 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:53,320 Nice shot. 809 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,320 Hey. Hi. 810 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,080 Mind if I sit? 811 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,960 It's a free bar. Heh heh. 812 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,120 That lady lawyer thinks a divorce 813 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,040 would be great for our case. 814 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,480 I don't want a divorce, Mel. 815 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:08,880 No? 816 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,520 No. 817 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,160 I... I just want you to stop seeing him. 818 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,240 I'm not seeing him. 819 00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:19,360 So you don't want to split up? 820 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,080 No. No, not at all. 821 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:22,240 We can't split up, Mel. 822 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:25,200 You and I, we're like... we're like a team. 823 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,400 Siegfried & Roy, hall & oates, ham and cheese. 824 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,000 I'm sorry I strayed, 825 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,040 but you kind of opened the door. 826 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,320 I wanted to talk to you about that. 827 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:35,240 The truth is, Mel, I... 828 00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:36,520 shh. Let's not talk about it. 829 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:40,080 Water down the drain, Dan. Water down the drain. 830 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:50,560 Hey, how's that divorce coming? 831 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,400 Uh, please, counsel, let's not lose sight 832 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,520 of the human element in this tragedy. 833 00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,920 You know, a divorce would really help our case. 834 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,640 I'm working on it. 835 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,040 This is Joel Johnson Jr. 836 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,200 He's with beerquist, angsthall & Cox. 837 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,440 Joel is our point man here in... 838 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:10,720 Boise. 839 00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:11,680 Boise. 840 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:12,920 Boise. 841 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:14,160 Joel's come up with a figure. 842 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:18,000 How much money were you hoping to see? 843 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,160 $30,000. 844 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:29,600 Heh. Million. 845 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,440 It's $30 million. 846 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,040 $30 million? 847 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,240 $30 million? 848 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:37,120 You've hit the jackpot, Melinda. 849 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:38,640 Whoo-hoo! Yeah. 850 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,040 Dr. Klink doesn't have $30 million. 851 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,400 No, Dr. Klink has malpractice insurance, 852 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,360 and they've got $30 million. 853 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,040 Emily: Dear God. 854 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:48,720 I had no idea it would be so much. 855 00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:51,480 There's not a better person she could have screwed. 856 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:52,520 Except her priest. 857 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,560 Catholics pay a shitload of money 858 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,200 to keep this kind of crap down. 859 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,160 I'm gonna get $30 million 860 00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,160 for having sex with Dr. Klink? 861 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:00,120 In an elevator. 862 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:01,240 And on his desk. 863 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:02,600 $30 million. 864 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,520 Minus 30% contingency, 865 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,680 50% if we win on appeal. 866 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,840 How much more do you think 867 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,840 a divorce might net? 868 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,000 Why the hell are you suing me? 869 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,160 Um... 870 00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,840 Because... 871 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,760 You took advantage of my fragile ego 872 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,240 and got me in a psychoemotional, 873 00:39:36,240 --> 00:39:37,760 sexual thing. 874 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:38,880 What? 875 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:39,960 Why don't you take a walk, klink, 876 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,200 before I call the cops. 877 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:42,400 Oh, if it isn't the erectionless wonder, 878 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,200 Mr. Happy! 879 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,760 You told him about Mr. Happy? 880 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,200 Dr. Klink, I told you that in therapy. 881 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,360 First of all, it's Roger. 882 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,560 Secondly, it wasn't therapy. You were never my patient. 883 00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,920 Why don't you tell it to the judge, Mr. Majestic? 884 00:39:56,240 --> 00:39:58,760 You told him about Mr. Majestic? 885 00:39:58,760 --> 00:39:59,640 Dan is my husband. 886 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,560 I tell him everything. 887 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,480 Are you screwing yet? 888 00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,400 There's more to our relationship than sex. 889 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,360 There better be with Mr. Limpy here. 890 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,200 You son of a... 891 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,200 Unh! Danny! 892 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,320 Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. 893 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,280 Come on. 894 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:16,160 Come on. 895 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:18,120 I hope you fight better than... 896 00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,880 aah! Aah! 897 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,440 Let go! No. 898 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:24,640 Come on, honey. Come on. 899 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,080 Why'd you have to tell him about Mr. Happy? 900 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,400 It's ok. He's a doctor. 901 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,120 Don't sue me, Melinda. 902 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:31,880 I'll lose my license. It's all I have. 903 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,720 I'm sorry. Good-bye, Dr. Klink. 904 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:36,200 Come on. Roger. 905 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,160 Call me Roger. 906 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:46,680 Ezri stovall will crush her like a bug. 907 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,080 We've gotta nip this kind 908 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,560 of frivolous litigation in the bud. 909 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,440 People have to start 910 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,320 taking responsibility for their actions. 911 00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,160 Why'd you stop sleeping together? 912 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,160 Makes it seem like 913 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,120 you thought you were doing something wrong. 914 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:06,040 It was an absolute taboo. 915 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:07,840 A therapist can never have sex with a patient. 916 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,680 The moment you two screwed, 917 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,680 she became your lover, 918 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:14,200 thereby making it impossible 919 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,440 for her to ever be your patient. 920 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:18,400 Where'd you bone her? 921 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,440 We made love in an elevator. 922 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,320 Elevator sex. I... pssh. 923 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,760 You're kidding me. 924 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,120 I'm in elevators all the time. 925 00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,720 I know. I'm sorry. 926 00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:31,960 How long would something like that take? 927 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,720 It was over pretty quickly. 928 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,920 Mechanical failure? 929 00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,080 Oh, no. She hit the stop. 930 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,360 Or, uh, m-maybe I did. 931 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,000 Is this really important? 932 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,200 Every detail is important. 933 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,000 You need booze? 934 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,000 Juries are fickle. 935 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,640 Something could come out at the trial, 936 00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,680 and you'll be screwed. 937 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:54,760 Any witnesses? 938 00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,000 Other passengers? 939 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,240 No, of c... no, of course not. 940 00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:58,680 How about a surveillance camera? 941 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,560 Oh, Jesus. 942 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:04,400 Well, there may not be one if the elevator's old enough. 943 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:06,080 Please, God. 944 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:10,200 Ok, so, you're ballin' her. 945 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,320 Did you ejaculate? 946 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,040 W... uh, is there any way not to? 947 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,800 Not that I've found. 948 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,760 Did she mention any other therapists she's slept with? 949 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,480 Other members of the hippocratic arts? 950 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,480 Orthodontists? Podiatrists? 951 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:29,920 Clergy? 952 00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:31,400 I don't know. I don't think so. 953 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,200 What about you? 954 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:35,280 How many other nonpatient patients 955 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:36,800 have you banged? None. 956 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,280 You banging your receptionist? 957 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:39,920 Tiff... no. 958 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:43,760 Well, let ezri stovall get to work. 959 00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:51,040 Clammy. 960 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:52,320 Heh heh heh heh heh heh. 961 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,320 Don't answer it, baby. 962 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,040 Oh. 963 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:06,720 Hello. 964 00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:07,840 Helen, ezri. 965 00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,320 Hi. What's up? 966 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,640 I've got something for you. You free? 967 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:13,400 Available. Never free. 968 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,080 Ha ha! Never give it away, baby. 969 00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:18,440 Is that that sumbitch stovall? 970 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:19,880 She's spoken for! 971 00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:21,480 Shh. This is business. 972 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:22,440 Ahh. Ahh. 973 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,120 I'm defending a headshrinker 974 00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,920 who put his pecker where he shouldn't have. 975 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,840 And she's suing him. 976 00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:29,720 Bingo. 977 00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:32,640 D-don't get it, baby. 978 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:33,480 Please. Hold on. 979 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,520 We haven't worked in a month. 980 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,840 I can't... I'm gonna... 981 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,480 Oww! Oh. 982 00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:45,160 Hello. 983 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:46,720 Is Felix Potter in? 984 00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:49,000 He sure is. 985 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,920 Ahh. Goddamn. 986 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:54,600 Yeah, hello. 987 00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:55,760 Felix Potter. Uh-huh. 988 00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:56,920 Connie barker out of Chicago. 989 00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:57,760 Joel Johnson of 990 00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,600 beerquist, angsthall & Cox 991 00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,880 gave me your number. Uh-huh. 992 00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:02,080 I'm looking for a private investigator. 993 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:03,360 I'm representing the victim 994 00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:05,240 in a therapist abuse case. 995 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:06,720 What do you got, ezri? 996 00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:08,200 I need to find out if there's anything in his past 997 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,720 that might hurt us. We're just starting depositions. 998 00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:11,880 Ahh. Ahh. 999 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,040 Ezri and Connie: What's the matter? 1000 00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:13,880 Nothing. Nothing. 1001 00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,560 Radio. 1002 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,240 Connie: His name is klink, Roger klink. 1003 00:44:17,240 --> 00:44:18,880 She's Melinda Carmichael. The shrink is Roger klink. 1004 00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:19,800 Dr. Klink? Yep. 1005 00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:20,920 What's her name? 1006 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,040 Connie and Helen: Melinda Carmichael. 1007 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:23,160 We're on the same case. 1008 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:24,480 Ezri: You'll get your usual fee, Helen. 1009 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,680 I'd like to put you on a retainer, Felix. 1010 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,200 I need some dirt on Dr. Klink. 1011 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:30,280 Uh-huh. 1012 00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:31,360 Fax me everything you got. 1013 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:32,280 Uh-huh. Ok, ezri? 1014 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,880 I gotta go. I'm there. 1015 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,880 Interesting. 50 bucks an hour, plus expenses. 1016 00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:39,760 Fax me at this number. 1017 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:41,680 Fax me. Fax... 1018 00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,440 ahh! 1019 00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,480 We're working the same job again. 1020 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:52,920 You show me yours, I'll show you mine. 1021 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,320 Ezri: Have you ever had your deposition 1022 00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,080 taken before, Mrs. Carmichael? 1023 00:44:59,080 --> 00:44:59,880 No. 1024 00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:01,000 Do you understand 1025 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,920 that your testimony here today 1026 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,000 is given under oath 1027 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,360 and done just like in court? 1028 00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,520 So despite the informal setting, 1029 00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:10,720 you are testifying 1030 00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:14,600 under penalty of perjury. 1031 00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:17,120 I'm sorry. The tape jammed. 1032 00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,120 I'll need a minute. 1033 00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:24,320 It's his first day. 1034 00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:31,560 Is he gonna be here every day? 1035 00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:33,760 It's his right. 1036 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,200 Videographer: Got it. 1037 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:40,400 Now, Mrs. Carmichael, 1038 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,080 were you carnally intimate 1039 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:43,040 with Roger klink? 1040 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:44,920 Carnally intimate? 1041 00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:46,000 Sexually intimate. 1042 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,640 Melinda: Um, I guess so. 1043 00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,160 I mean, we had sex. 1044 00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,640 Would you please describe in specific detail 1045 00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:55,600 the first of these 1046 00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,320 decorous unions with Roger klink? 1047 00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,440 Indecorous unions, counsel. 1048 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,520 Consenting adults engaged in fornication... 1049 00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,040 what could be more decorous, counsel? 1050 00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:07,080 How about if, for the purposes of this deposition, 1051 00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,680 we let the noun stand alone, unqualified? 1052 00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:12,160 Union, plain and simple. 1053 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:13,440 Fine. 1054 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:14,720 Mrs. Carmichael, would you please 1055 00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:18,840 walk me through this initial union? 1056 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,160 What? 1057 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:21,480 Mr. Stovall would like you to describe 1058 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,800 your first encounter with Dr. Klink. 1059 00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:25,560 Roger klink. 1060 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,240 He is a doctor, counsel. 1061 00:46:27,240 --> 00:46:30,360 Yes, counsel, but not her doctor. 1062 00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:31,640 How about if, 1063 00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:32,920 for the purposes of this deposition, 1064 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:37,000 we let the klink stand alone, unqualified? 1065 00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:38,840 Fine. 1066 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:41,600 Mrs. Carmichael, 1067 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,600 when you're ready. 1068 00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:49,120 Well, we had, um... 1069 00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:53,560 Sex in the elevator of his building 1070 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,760 between floors. 1071 00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:59,240 And would you describe this union as standard? 1072 00:46:59,240 --> 00:47:00,800 What are you getting at, counsel? 1073 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:02,640 I'm trying to establish the mode 1074 00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:04,440 by which they carnally expressed themselves. 1075 00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,560 Oh, you mean the way in which they were carnally expressive. 1076 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:08,400 Precisely. 1077 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,560 Missionary? Front door? 1078 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,800 Back door? 1079 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,000 Roundy-round? Were you prostrate? 1080 00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,040 Plumb? 1081 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:17,000 Ingénue? 1082 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,480 Cou... 1083 00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:19,920 well, he, um... 1084 00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:21,160 He, um... 1085 00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:23,480 Stopped the elevator, 1086 00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:25,800 and we just kind of moved at each other. 1087 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:26,600 Uh... 1088 00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:28,520 Did he stop the elevator, 1089 00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,040 or did you? 1090 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,640 One of us did. I-it's a little hazy. 1091 00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,760 Ok, but you made the first move. 1092 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,280 You're leading the plaintiff, counsel. 1093 00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,360 We both moved at the same time, 1094 00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:43,080 grabbed at each other. Doct... 1095 00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:50,080 he was very excited. 1096 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,600 Klink told you he was excited? 1097 00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:54,480 No. 1098 00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:57,480 But... but I could feel his... 1099 00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,360 Well, his... 1100 00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,400 Mr. Happy was pressing up against me. 1101 00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:03,600 Mr. Happy? 1102 00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:07,280 Well, that's what my husband calls his... 1103 00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,520 Johnson. 1104 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:11,240 Yes, counsel? 1105 00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:14,200 Not you. 1106 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,480 I'm, uh, referring to. 1107 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:19,040 Melinda's husband's Johnson. 1108 00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:21,520 Klink's Johnson... klink's penis. 1109 00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:22,560 Could we stay focused 1110 00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:25,520 on klink's penis and not the husband's? 1111 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,160 Uh, Mrs. Carmichael, 1112 00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,360 perhaps there's another term we could use 1113 00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,920 to describe Roger klink's penis. 1114 00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,560 Mr. Majestic. That's what he calls it. 1115 00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,440 Why didn't you tell me your pecker has a name? 1116 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:44,520 Ehh... and that she knows it? 1117 00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:46,800 I didn't think it would come up, so... 1118 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,720 ohh! 1119 00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:50,520 I, uh... 1120 00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,440 Had an affair 3 years ago. 1121 00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:57,440 I mean, it was a doctor in Denver. 1122 00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,080 It was a seminal relationship. 1123 00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:00,680 If I hadn't had the affair, I never would've 1124 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,200 bought the corvette or left my wife. 1125 00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:03,600 Are you still seeing him? 1126 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,080 Him? No. 1127 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:06,560 It was a... a her. Uh, she, doctor. 1128 00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,600 Oh, right. 1129 00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:10,600 It doesn't have any bearing on this case. 1130 00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:14,520 It better not. 1131 00:49:17,720 --> 00:49:19,840 Back on the record, please. 1132 00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:22,880 Ok, so you could feel Dr. Majestic. 1133 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,000 I think it's Mr. Majestic, counsel. 1134 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:31,000 Right. Uh, you could feel Mr. Majestic 1135 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,360 pressing up against you. 1136 00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,240 What happened next? 1137 00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:39,160 Um, we started kissing and grabbing, 1138 00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:46,080 and he was bumping himself up against me, 1139 00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,960 kissing my neck, and... 1140 00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,760 He slid his hands under my blouse 1141 00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:58,760 and was caressing my breasts in circles, 1142 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,400 tiny, little circles. 1143 00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:06,040 And one thing led to another, 1144 00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:09,040 and I just... 1145 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:14,120 Took Mr. Majestic, um... 1146 00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:18,520 In my mouth. 1147 00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:22,280 Ehh. 1148 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:24,200 Both: You son of a bitch! 1149 00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:25,560 Dan: Aah! 1150 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:26,760 Whaah! 1151 00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:27,600 Dr. Paige! 1152 00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,400 Danny! Danny! Danny, stop! 1153 00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:33,480 You son of a bitch! How dare you?! 1154 00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,120 How dare you?! 1155 00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:37,760 Melinda: Dr. Klink, are you ok? 1156 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,480 Emily: You son of a bitch! 1157 00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:40,560 Ok, I'm all right. I'm all right. 1158 00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:42,560 I'm all right. I'm all right now. 1159 00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:43,840 Out! Out! Out! 1160 00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:45,840 I'm sorry. 1161 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,160 Ahh! 1162 00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,440 You pathetic, immature peckerwoods! 1163 00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,000 Oh, the hilarity. 1164 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:55,560 She kissed his pee-pee. 1165 00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:58,400 Grow up! 1166 00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:02,000 This is serious goddamn business! 1167 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,560 Salacious, yes. 1168 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:05,120 Scandalous, of course. 1169 00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:06,360 Titillating, possibly. 1170 00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:08,320 But my client's career hangs on. 1171 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:11,840 Ms. Barker's client's most intimate testimonial. 1172 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:13,800 Get out and stay out 1173 00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,320 until it's time for your depositions! 1174 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:17,920 My... why would I need to do one? 1175 00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:19,920 Because you're the flaccid bastard 1176 00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:21,720 that started this whole mess. 1177 00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:22,680 Now beat it! 1178 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:23,400 He's... that's... 1179 00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,200 ditto! Amscray! 1180 00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,000 I'm... I'm going. 1181 00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:34,280 Beautifully expressed, counsel. 1182 00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,280 Oh, yeah. 1183 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,240 That shit's hot. 1184 00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:45,960 Shut up, Larry! 1185 00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:47,680 You're not looking at the big picture. 1186 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,040 The 3, zero, zero 1187 00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:52,080 zero, zero, zero, zero, zero dollar picture. 1188 00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:53,960 Enough. Enough! Give it a rest. 1189 00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:57,200 Give it a rest, Larry, ok, please? 1190 00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,720 This is all your fault. 1191 00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:02,000 My fault? 1192 00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,320 You're the one that sent... 1193 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:04,600 you're the one that sent my wife 1194 00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:05,960 to that sex fiend. 1195 00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:07,320 I'll catch you later, bro. I, uh... 1196 00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,040 I... I forgot something. 1197 00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:10,760 Well, maybe if you'd been able to deliver the goods, 1198 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:12,840 your wife wouldn't have been so damn horny 1199 00:52:12,840 --> 00:52:14,400 that she threw herself 1200 00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:15,960 on Dr. Klink in a goddamn elevator! 1201 00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:17,120 Fuck you, Dr. Paige! 1202 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:18,960 Fuck me. 1203 00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:20,840 How you gonna do that, Dan, with Dr. Klink's help? 1204 00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:23,440 No. 1205 00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,080 Heh. 1206 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,680 Hey, we came to you guys 'cause we wanted help. 1207 00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:28,040 We wanted to save our marriage. 1208 00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,600 You guys are supposed to be professionals. 1209 00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,080 You guys don't know anything! 1210 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:32,520 You wanna know why 1211 00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:33,920 you can't get an erection with Melinda? 1212 00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:35,640 Hey. Hey, not so loud. 1213 00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:36,680 No protection, no erection. 1214 00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:39,080 No diaphragm, Mr. Happy gets sad. 1215 00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,480 Wife wants children. Husband doesn't. 1216 00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:42,680 Wife forces the issue. 1217 00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:46,280 It is a classic Venus and Mars dynamic. 1218 00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,080 Now, generally we like patients 1219 00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:50,680 to come to certain conclusions on their own. 1220 00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,960 But what the hell? There it is, 1221 00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:55,080 free of charge. 1222 00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:56,200 I'm not ready to be a father. 1223 00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:57,480 Great! And what does Melinda say? 1224 00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:59,320 We don't ever talk about it. 1225 00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,160 We use birth control. What is there to say? 1226 00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:02,200 Isn't that what marriage is, 1227 00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,000 you know, uh, knowing without saying? 1228 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,120 Fantasyland, Dan. 1229 00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:09,440 All relationships are killed by dishonesty, 1230 00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:13,200 repressed feelings, things left unsaid. 1231 00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:15,600 Honesty first. 1232 00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,280 "No protection, no erection." 1233 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:18,240 You're good. 1234 00:53:18,240 --> 00:53:20,040 I'm the best. 1235 00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,120 No protection, no erection. 1236 00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,800 Mm-hmm, yeah. 1237 00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:27,520 Back on the record, please. 1238 00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:29,840 I'm trying to picture this. 1239 00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,000 Y-you were kneeling? 1240 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,800 No. I was standing up, 1241 00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:39,280 bent over, with him in my mouth. 1242 00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:43,280 So, he was a passive participant? 1243 00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:44,760 No. 1244 00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:47,320 His hand was under my skirt, 1245 00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:50,560 and he started to touch me... 1246 00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:53,000 Rub my... 1247 00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:56,240 Mrs. Happy. 1248 00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:59,240 Yes, and, um, let's see. 1249 00:53:59,240 --> 00:54:00,720 With his other hand, 1250 00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:04,080 he was still touching my breast... 1251 00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:05,440 Very gently, 1252 00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:10,320 slowly tracing tiny circles around my nipple, 1253 00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:13,640 around and around... 1254 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,680 Around and around 1255 00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,640 and up and down on Mrs. Happy. 1256 00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,680 Up and down... 1257 00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:26,040 And around and around. 1258 00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,040 Off the record a second. 1259 00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:34,880 Uh, counsel, excuse me. Would you mind... 1260 00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,080 Would you object to a 10-minute recess? 1261 00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:41,120 Quite the contrary, counsel. 1262 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,360 I'm just trying to tell the truth. 1263 00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,320 You're making it sound 1264 00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:02,240 like you had wonderful sex with a terrific lover. 1265 00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:04,600 We're trying to sue him, remember? 1266 00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,600 We're not writing an erotic novel. 1267 00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,720 That circle stuff sounded great. 1268 00:55:16,720 --> 00:55:20,560 Where'd you come up with that circle business? 1269 00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:23,120 Circle business? 1270 00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,080 Around her nipple? 1271 00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:27,960 ¶ Round and round ¶ 1272 00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:31,360 ¶ up and down ¶ 1273 00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:36,800 ¶ Round and round and up and down ¶ 1274 00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:37,760 ¶ and a 1, 2, 3 ¶ 1275 00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:39,160 ¶ kick, 1, 2, 3 ¶ 1276 00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,120 ¶ kill 'em ¶ 1277 00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:48,760 hoo. 1278 00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:50,080 Heh. 1279 00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,480 Excuse me. Heh heh. 1280 00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:04,120 Nice... nice camerawork. Here. 1281 00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,200 I thought they kicked you out of here. 1282 00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:09,400 "Lawrence Carmichael, esq." 1283 00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:11,120 It's esquire. 1284 00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:12,160 Attorney. 1285 00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:13,720 You're a lawyer? 1286 00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:17,600 How would you kids like to earn 1287 00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:20,920 a little extra scratch on the side? 1288 00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:22,840 Scratch? 1289 00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,560 Time sort of stood still. 1290 00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:41,120 I remember becoming aware of pounding 1291 00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:43,760 and people's voices... 1292 00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:44,760 Hello! 1293 00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,960 And then the phone started to ring, 1294 00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:48,760 And that's when 1295 00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,720 he, uh... 1296 00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:53,360 Put his, uh... 1297 00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:55,120 Mr. Majestic. 1298 00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:57,520 Into my... 1299 00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:58,480 Mrs. Happy. 1300 00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,240 And there was this pounding 1301 00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:02,600 and shouting and ringing, 1302 00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:04,720 and we got into this amazing rhythm. 1303 00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:07,320 It was all over in about a minute, 1304 00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:09,960 minute and a half. 1305 00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,160 Did klink arrive at emission? 1306 00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:15,040 Yes. 1307 00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:16,520 I wasn't using any protection, 1308 00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:19,000 so at the last minute, we pulled apart, 1309 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,360 and I finished him with my hand. 1310 00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:22,800 You did? 1311 00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,240 Yes, and the other time, too. 1312 00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:25,760 Really? 1313 00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:31,760 Off the record for a second. 1314 00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:34,680 Is it hot in here, counsel? 1315 00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:35,640 Mm-hmm-hmm. 1316 00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:37,080 It's almost 11:00. 1317 00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:38,520 Uh, I'd like to break early for lunch. 1318 00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,400 This is the first day of deposition. 1319 00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:44,040 Given the exhaustive nature of today's testimony, I... 1320 00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,440 perhaps a discontinuation... 1321 00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:48,360 Is counsel requesting a recess? 1322 00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:52,040 What would counsel's inclination be to such a request? 1323 00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,120 R-request granted. 1324 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:17,760 Uh... 1325 00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,600 Does counsel have plans for lunch? 1326 00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:28,160 Counsel's going back to the hotel for a cold shower. 1327 00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:32,840 Howdy, ezri. 1328 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,200 Howdy, partner. 1329 00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:35,960 How are you? 1330 00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:46,520 Oh. 1331 00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:59,160 Heh. 1332 00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:02,080 You've got a great memory for details. 1333 00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:07,640 It's like being on truth serum in there. 1334 00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:10,320 Everything comes flooding out. 1335 00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:15,320 Melinda, why are you suing me? 1336 00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:19,000 It's... this is so humiliating for both of us, 1337 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,080 and if it goes to trial, this... 1338 00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:24,920 everyone in Boise will find out about... 1339 00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:26,240 It. 1340 00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:27,560 I think I'm gonna drop the suit. 1341 00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:28,920 I don't wanna go any further with it. 1342 00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:29,960 What? R-really? 1343 00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:34,200 No. Uh, y-you should get... 1344 00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:36,680 Something. 1345 00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:41,400 Do you love me, Dr. Klink? 1346 00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:43,960 S... 1347 00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,080 Do I love you? 1348 00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:46,960 Yes. 1349 00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:49,040 Do you love me? 1350 00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:53,120 I could love you. 1351 00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:55,680 Could? 1352 00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:59,440 Thanks, ezri. 1353 00:59:59,440 --> 01:00:01,200 Get that bite looked at. 1354 01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:04,440 What is it with you and elevators? 1355 01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:05,440 You know, it's... 1356 01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:06,920 take the goddamn stairs. 1357 01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:09,440 I wanted to talk to you. 1358 01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:11,960 You know, maybe we could... I mean, I was thinking we... 1359 01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:16,840 I... I really wanna settle out of court, if... 1360 01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:18,880 Aah! Eesh. 1361 01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,000 Let me set you straight. 1362 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:24,480 First, ezri stovall has never settled. 1363 01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:25,520 Well, that's fine... 1364 01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:28,200 he either wins... 1365 01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:32,360 Or he goes down kicking and biting. 1366 01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:34,720 2... 1367 01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,080 2! Ezri stovall makes the recommendation 1368 01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:38,480 to the insurance company 1369 01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:41,040 to go to court, to settle, et cetera. 1370 01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,520 If you don't heed his advice, 1371 01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:45,600 you will be settling on your own, 1372 01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:47,840 without the insurance company. 1373 01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:53,440 Uh, I have malpractice insurance. 1374 01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:55,080 Ehh. 1375 01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,320 Fine print, elevator boy. 1376 01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:01,880 Your policy guarantees you a defense. 1377 01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:05,760 It doesn't say it'll pay out if you lose 1378 01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:11,360 or if it finds that you have acted criminally... 1379 01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,440 Criminally? I never acted criminally. 1380 01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:14,320 Or unethically... 1381 01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:16,680 She wasn't even my patient. 1382 01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:19,000 Or if you decide to... and I quote... 1383 01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:20,960 "if you decide to act against 1384 01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:24,920 insurance carrier's appointed counsel." 1385 01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:28,640 You mean if I settle, I pay? 1386 01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:30,520 Yep. 1387 01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:33,400 Dan: Hey, Mel. 1388 01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:35,120 Hey, hey, uh... 1389 01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,360 I got you some arby's. 1390 01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:41,400 Thanks. 1391 01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:43,000 Hey. 1392 01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:44,720 Ok. 1393 01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:54,000 I've been thinking, Mel. 1394 01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:55,680 I know what our problem was. 1395 01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:57,360 Me, too. You cheated with that cocktail waitress. 1396 01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:58,480 I didn't cheat with the co... 1397 01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:00,280 I mean, I was gonna, but I didn't. 1398 01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:02,160 You lied to me about sleeping with her. 1399 01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:03,280 You and I weren't exactly... 1400 01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:04,800 because you couldn't... 1401 01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:06,320 I couldn't because you wanted a baby, all right? 1402 01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,280 Dr. Paige spelled it all out for me. 1403 01:02:08,280 --> 01:02:09,280 No protection, no erection. 1404 01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:10,640 I just wasn't ready yet, 1405 01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:12,040 but hell, if you really want a baby, 1406 01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:13,520 we'll have one. I don't care, 1407 01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:15,200 especially with the money we got coming in. 1408 01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:17,680 I don't wanna make a baby, not yet. 1409 01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:18,920 Yeah, you do. No, I don't. 1410 01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,320 Yes, you do. Dr. Paige said it was classic 1411 01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:22,280 the way you lost your diaphragm. 1412 01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:23,760 Well, she's wrong. I didn't lose it. 1413 01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:27,400 I just didn't use it, because you wanted me to get pregnant. 1414 01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:29,240 I wanted you to get pregnant? 1415 01:02:29,240 --> 01:02:30,160 Yes. No, you... no, wait. 1416 01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:32,080 You wanted to get pregnant. 1417 01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:34,000 No way. I am not ready to have a baby. 1418 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,120 You're not. Uh-uh. 1419 01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:36,200 That means together we're both not ready. 1420 01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:37,800 You don't understand. This is awesome! 1421 01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:39,800 Oh, my God, I thought if I even mentioned 1422 01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:41,720 that I didn't want to have kids, 1423 01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:42,760 you'd divorce me. 1424 01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:43,600 Really? Yeah. 1425 01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:44,960 Me, too. Oh, my God. 1426 01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:46,400 Honesty first. That's the key. 1427 01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,680 I feel like a weight's been lifted. 1428 01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:50,680 That Dr. Paige is a genius. 1429 01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:52,040 I love you, Mel. 1430 01:02:52,040 --> 01:02:54,000 I love you, Danny. 1431 01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:55,920 I missed you holding me and holding my hand 1432 01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:57,000 and touching my back. 1433 01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:58,240 This is what I wanted all along. 1434 01:02:58,280 --> 01:03:01,080 Me, too. Oh, we could do this every day if we want. 1435 01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:04,000 We could do this all day, every day, whenever we want. 1436 01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:05,720 With the money we got coming in, 1437 01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:07,040 we could do whatever we want. 1438 01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,520 You should see the... the things. 1439 01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:09,680 Larry has lined up... the brochures, 1440 01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:12,640 the... the telemarketing, uh, opportunities. 1441 01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:14,280 The... the real estate invest... 1442 01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:15,240 there's fun stuff, too... 1443 01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:16,720 jai alai and, you know, boxing. 1444 01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:18,160 What's Larry have to do with any of this? 1445 01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:19,840 Well, he's our... he works for us. 1446 01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:21,000 You know, he quit his job. 1447 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,240 Larry's never had a job. 1448 01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:24,360 No, he has one now, 'cause he works for us. 1449 01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:25,920 He's gonna get 10% of whatever we win. 1450 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,200 This isn't a jackpot, Dan. This is our life. 1451 01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:29,720 Look, I was stupid before, ok? 1452 01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:31,440 I was really dumb. You go in there. 1453 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:32,920 You say whatever you have to say. 1454 01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:34,440 It's just words to me now, baby. 1455 01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,280 I don't even care... where you going? 1456 01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:38,400 I want out! I want it all to go away... 1457 01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:40,320 the doctors and the lawyers and you! 1458 01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:42,360 Me?! What did I do? 1459 01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,960 I don't like you, Danny! 1460 01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:46,040 You're a big, bad devil! 1461 01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:49,240 What? What'd I do? 1462 01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:56,840 Connie: No! No! 1463 01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:59,640 Ohh! You wanna drop the lawsuit?! 1464 01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:01,560 Yes. It's not worth it. 1465 01:04:01,560 --> 01:04:04,040 I never liked this case to begin with. 1466 01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:06,360 Oh, this one looked better on paper. 1467 01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:08,000 Mmm. 1468 01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:15,160 Fine. 1469 01:04:15,160 --> 01:04:16,720 Fine. Just write us a check for all 1470 01:04:16,720 --> 01:04:17,840 our out-of-pocket legal fees. 1471 01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:20,080 Fine. How much will that be? 1472 01:04:20,080 --> 01:04:23,040 Joel: Well, let's see. 1473 01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:26,040 We have Ms. Barker's fees, plus expenses and per diem, 1474 01:04:26,040 --> 01:04:27,320 times 10 days, 1475 01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,520 plus first-class airfare 1476 01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:31,120 and her support staff in Chicago. 1477 01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:35,000 Then of course there's me and my staff here in Boise, 1478 01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:38,040 plus one private detective at $50 an hour, 1479 01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,560 plus xeroxing, postage, 1480 01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:43,360 various office expenses. 1481 01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:45,560 Comes to just under $75,000. 1482 01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:48,600 $75,000? 1483 01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:50,040 Just under. 1484 01:04:50,040 --> 01:04:53,240 I don't have that kind of money. 1485 01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:55,960 Guess we'll stay the course. 1486 01:04:57,320 --> 01:05:01,840 Never forget you're the victim here. 1487 01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:13,480 Hmm. 1488 01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:17,360 Tiff... 1489 01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:18,920 who are you? Wh-where's Tiffany? 1490 01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:20,560 Oh. 1491 01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:22,200 Helen dalrymple, private investigator. 1492 01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,680 Your receptionist let me in. 1493 01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:26,720 Look, I-I don't know 1494 01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:28,600 who you work for, but could... 1495 01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,400 I work for you, asshole. 1496 01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:31,440 Ezri stovall hired me. 1497 01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:33,280 Is Dr. Rice in this picture? 1498 01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:34,520 Come again? 1499 01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:35,760 That's what she said. Heh heh. 1500 01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:38,720 Look, ezri said you banged some shrink at a conference. 1501 01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:39,680 He... Dr. Rice. 1502 01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:41,960 Are you still in contact with her? 1503 01:05:41,960 --> 01:05:43,120 Uh, no. Dr. Rice 1504 01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:45,360 is no longer in the picture. 1505 01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:47,640 She... could... 1506 01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:49,880 please... could you please not touch my... 1507 01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:53,560 or Tiffany's things? 1508 01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:56,440 Did Ms. Carmichael mention any other affairs? 1509 01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:57,560 Other doctors she screwed? 1510 01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:00,600 Dentists, podiatrists, clergy? 1511 01:06:00,640 --> 01:06:01,640 Clerg... no. 1512 01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:03,960 I mean, I told Mr. Stovall everything, 1513 01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:08,360 and anything she told me is confidential. 1514 01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:09,720 Right. Don't wanna abuse 1515 01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:12,760 that doctor-patient relationship. 1516 01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,680 Wait, wait. I... 1517 01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:18,520 Must insist that you leave. 1518 01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:20,280 Don't get lippy with me, doc. 1519 01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:22,640 I didn't screw my patient. 1520 01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:25,160 She w... 1521 01:06:27,320 --> 01:06:29,480 Heh. In an elevator? Are you kidding me? 1522 01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:31,200 Ha ha! 1523 01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:32,880 We are talking about stodger Roger, right? 1524 01:06:32,920 --> 01:06:35,000 Heh. Good, old Mr. By the book. 1525 01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:38,040 Ah heh heh. You know, when I met him, 1526 01:06:38,040 --> 01:06:39,840 he was a 23-year-old virgin, 1527 01:06:39,840 --> 01:06:41,920 and, uh, the morning 1528 01:06:41,920 --> 01:06:44,400 after we had sex for the first time, 1529 01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:46,480 I get a call out of the blue 1530 01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:49,080 from an ex-boyfriend who proposes to me. 1531 01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:50,000 Really? 1532 01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:51,680 Roger, bless his heart, 1533 01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:53,320 in a fit of jealousy, jumps up and says, 1534 01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:54,600 "I would marry you." 1535 01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:58,120 Years later, I found out what he meant... 1536 01:06:58,120 --> 01:07:00,720 Was "could," not "would." 1537 01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:04,720 So, what, you got married on a grammatical error? 1538 01:07:04,720 --> 01:07:07,040 All I know is, um... 1539 01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:08,720 We were never very happy. 1540 01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:12,160 Uh, has he had many affairs, your husband? 1541 01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:15,320 Well, there was that otapi conference 1542 01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:17,320 in Denver a couple of years ago. 1543 01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:20,360 Otapi. That's some kind of antelope, right? 1544 01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,440 What? 1545 01:07:22,440 --> 01:07:24,760 Otapi, the organization 1546 01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:27,120 of therapists, analysts, blah, blah, blah. 1547 01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:28,480 Come on. Right. 1548 01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:29,840 I shouldn't be telling you any of this. 1549 01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:31,560 I've had too many of these. 1550 01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:33,680 Darlin', uh... 1551 01:07:33,680 --> 01:07:37,120 You could tell me anything. 1552 01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:39,080 Well... 1553 01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:40,680 He comes back from Denver, 1554 01:07:40,680 --> 01:07:42,440 and he's a changed man. 1555 01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:47,200 All of a sudden, he is Mr. Oral sex. 1556 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:51,640 Up until then, Roger had very rarely, uh... 1557 01:07:51,640 --> 01:07:53,440 Cunnilinged me. 1558 01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:55,960 Can you say, uh, "cunnilinged"? 1559 01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:57,920 Well, I don't know. 1560 01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:00,800 What's the verb for cunnilingus? 1561 01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:02,280 Cunnilingated. 1562 01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:03,600 Stop it. 1563 01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:04,880 Cunnilingual. 1564 01:08:04,880 --> 01:08:05,560 That a verb? 1565 01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:08,960 I don't know, but I like it. 1566 01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:12,640 Anyway, he comes back from Denver, 1567 01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:13,720 and suddenly he's an expert. 1568 01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:16,920 Oh, yes. He's slow. He's sensual. 1569 01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:20,440 He's circular. 1570 01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:24,760 Am I boring you? 1571 01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:27,160 Not a bit. 1572 01:08:29,880 --> 01:08:31,120 Salty. 1573 01:08:31,120 --> 01:08:32,920 Oh, and he started doing this, um, 1574 01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:34,640 this circle thing, you know, with the... 1575 01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:37,040 with his hands on my... on my breasts, 1576 01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:40,400 kind of like... like that. 1577 01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:42,360 Really? Yeah. 1578 01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:43,400 Whoa. Heh. 1579 01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:45,360 And, uh... Wow. 1580 01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:47,280 I let the whole thing drop, and then, uh, 1581 01:08:47,320 --> 01:08:48,800 oh, about 5, 6 months later, 1582 01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:52,560 he got a card in the mail from a Dr. Rice. 1583 01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:54,200 Looked like an invitation. 1584 01:08:54,200 --> 01:08:55,160 Who's Dr. Rice? 1585 01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:57,680 Exactly what I said, 1586 01:08:57,680 --> 01:08:58,960 you know, very nicely, 1587 01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,240 and, uh, Roger got very flustered. 1588 01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:02,800 And stammered something about it obviously 1589 01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:06,040 being addressed to the wrong Dr. Klink. 1590 01:09:09,320 --> 01:09:16,480 Is Dr. Rice a boy doctor or a girl doctor? 1591 01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:19,920 A girl doctor. 1592 01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:22,160 Are you sure? 1593 01:09:22,160 --> 01:09:24,560 Heh. Well, who else but a girl 1594 01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:25,520 could have taught him 1595 01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:28,920 all those good things that he knew? 1596 01:09:28,920 --> 01:09:30,000 Well, thank you... 1597 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:32,840 Heh. For your help. 1598 01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:36,840 We, um... we are separated, you know. 1599 01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:37,720 Mmm. 1600 01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:40,560 Uh, do you live alone? 1601 01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:42,560 I, um... 1602 01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:44,000 Have a roommate. 1603 01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:46,800 But, uh, listen, uh, here's my card, 1604 01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:50,320 and, uh, if you can think of anything else, 1605 01:09:50,320 --> 01:09:52,120 why, uh, you can call me. 1606 01:09:52,120 --> 01:09:53,800 Oh. Day and night. 1607 01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:54,720 Thank you. 1608 01:09:54,720 --> 01:09:56,320 Ma'am. 1609 01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:01,760 I'll see you. 1610 01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:22,920 No! 1611 01:10:22,920 --> 01:10:24,880 What's going on? 1612 01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:26,320 Good morning, counsel. 1613 01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:29,440 Hi, counsel. How's it hanging? 1614 01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,400 Connie: Better put that animal of yours in a cage, 1615 01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:34,280 or I'll have to get a restraining order. 1616 01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:36,320 Ezri: Your client has violated rules 1617 01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:39,840 regarding ex parte propinquity. 1618 01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:43,120 I'll squeeze in here with you. 1619 01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:46,000 Let's take the stairs. 1620 01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:51,040 I get an erection just thinking about elevators. 1621 01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:54,560 We were by the door, standing up. 1622 01:10:54,560 --> 01:10:56,080 He was hugging me, 1623 01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:58,200 moving his hands over my dress 1624 01:10:58,200 --> 01:10:59,320 and then under my dress. 1625 01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:01,800 I wasn't wearing any underwear. 1626 01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:03,040 Oh, baby! 1627 01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:08,880 Hey, Dan, over here. 1628 01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:10,760 Hey. Hey, Larry, what's up? 1629 01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:11,800 You seen Melinda? 1630 01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:13,920 Haven't seen her, bro. 1631 01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:16,040 But you don't think this money's goin' to her head, do you? 1632 01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:17,080 No, I don't think so. 1633 01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:18,400 In fact, I don't even think 1634 01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:20,120 she's 100% into the whole thing. 1635 01:11:20,120 --> 01:11:22,360 We were talking last... last... is... this is... 1636 01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,240 Larry, this is Melinda naked. 1637 01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:26,080 I took her head 1638 01:11:26,080 --> 01:11:27,280 off last year's Christmas card, 1639 01:11:27,280 --> 01:11:29,000 downloaded the body off the Internet. 1640 01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:30,920 The rest is the magic of Photoshop. 1641 01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:32,880 But goddamn, Larry, she's still naked. 1642 01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:34,600 I-it's not her body. 1643 01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:36,880 With sexy artwork on the video box, 1644 01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:38,640 I can get double per unit. 1645 01:11:38,640 --> 01:11:40,280 What are you talking about? 1646 01:11:40,280 --> 01:11:41,440 Yee-ha! 1647 01:11:41,440 --> 01:11:43,440 I put my hands in his pants. 1648 01:11:43,440 --> 01:11:45,000 Oh, my God. Larry... 1649 01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:46,840 ok, that's my little surprise. 1650 01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:48,880 Melinda is hot, bro. 1651 01:11:48,880 --> 01:11:50,400 Is that... are those... 1652 01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:51,920 would you look at this crowd? Heck, 1653 01:11:51,920 --> 01:11:53,880 we could sell her deposition tapes 1654 01:11:53,880 --> 01:11:55,920 to every bar in town. 1655 01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:57,920 I've got a buddy in salt lake working on the website. 1656 01:11:57,920 --> 01:12:00,880 Wha... Larry, I am trying to get back with her. 1657 01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:03,640 ...being up on his desk, 1658 01:12:03,640 --> 01:12:05,480 on all fours. 1659 01:12:05,480 --> 01:12:06,480 Whoo! Whoo! 1660 01:12:06,480 --> 01:12:08,360 Larry, have you seen your brother? 1661 01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:11,280 Speak of the devil. Hey, Melinda. 1662 01:12:12,240 --> 01:12:13,320 What's this? 1663 01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:15,080 Don't worry. It's not your body. 1664 01:12:15,080 --> 01:12:17,040 Boo-yah. Why don't we 1665 01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:18,960 turn it off, huh? I think the game's on. 1666 01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:21,320 ...his other hand, 1667 01:12:21,320 --> 01:12:22,600 he was very gently... 1668 01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:24,400 That's me on TV. 1669 01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:27,120 ...around and around and around 1670 01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:30,480 and up and down on... 1671 01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:31,920 Mrs. Happy! Mrs. Happy! 1672 01:12:31,920 --> 01:12:34,280 Turn it off! Turn it off! 1673 01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:36,240 Whoo hoo! Whee-hah! 1674 01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:37,160 Danny? 1675 01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:40,040 Uh, oh, Mel, oh, shit. 1676 01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:40,840 How could you? 1677 01:12:40,840 --> 01:12:42,560 I didn't. I swear. 1678 01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:43,600 How could you? 1679 01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:44,640 I didn't. Mel, I swear. 1680 01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:47,560 Mel, I swear to God I didn't. Mel. 1681 01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:49,240 All right, look, why don't we... 1682 01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:50,160 look, that's my wife! 1683 01:12:50,160 --> 01:12:51,600 Can we please turn it off? 1684 01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:52,560 Hey! Hey, everybody! 1685 01:12:52,560 --> 01:12:54,440 It's Mr. Happy! 1686 01:12:57,040 --> 01:12:58,080 Hey, come on, buddy! 1687 01:12:58,080 --> 01:12:59,040 Hey, hey, hey... 1688 01:12:59,040 --> 01:13:01,880 the best part! Get down, now! 1689 01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:03,200 Get him off of there. 1690 01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:04,160 Get off me! 1691 01:13:04,160 --> 01:13:07,480 Unh! 1692 01:13:19,440 --> 01:13:22,240 Yes. 1693 01:13:23,240 --> 01:13:24,920 You're kidding. 1694 01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:26,720 That's not so bad. 1695 01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:28,000 When? 1696 01:13:29,760 --> 01:13:31,560 Good idea. 1697 01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:33,000 Time is of the essence. 1698 01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:34,640 Get hold of Dr. Paige and warn her. 1699 01:13:34,640 --> 01:13:39,560 No, no. I-I'll convey the message to Mr. Stovall. 1700 01:13:44,200 --> 01:13:45,360 What's up? 1701 01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:46,760 Good news for our team. 1702 01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:48,240 Carmichaels are splitting up for good. 1703 01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:51,680 Melinda's at some hotel by the highway. 1704 01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:53,680 She's very upset. 1705 01:13:53,680 --> 01:13:56,000 I'd like to give her a day's rest. 1706 01:13:56,000 --> 01:14:00,720 Johnson thinks we should move on to Dr. Paige's deposition. 1707 01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:05,320 I'm not sure I'm prepared for Dr. Paige. 1708 01:14:05,320 --> 01:14:06,880 Ezri... 1709 01:14:06,880 --> 01:14:10,280 It would mean an awful lot to me. 1710 01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:25,320 Max, you ever think about the other road, 1711 01:14:25,360 --> 01:14:28,200 the one you didn't walk down? 1712 01:14:28,440 --> 01:14:30,880 The one you stood at the mouth of, 1713 01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:34,080 but were afraid to walk down, afraid to... 1714 01:14:34,080 --> 01:14:37,000 Let down your hair and run? 1715 01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:40,920 Ah, I'm waxing rhetorical, 1716 01:14:40,920 --> 01:14:43,640 not looking for an answer, just a little... 1717 01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:46,560 Anonymous companionship. 1718 01:14:47,840 --> 01:14:48,920 Here, doc, 1719 01:14:48,920 --> 01:14:50,000 compliments of the ladies 1720 01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:52,360 at the end of the bar. 1721 01:14:54,280 --> 01:14:58,040 It's the corvette, Max. The women love it. 1722 01:14:58,240 --> 01:15:00,000 To Dr. Majestic. 1723 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:01,920 Women: Dr. Majestic. 1724 01:15:01,920 --> 01:15:03,800 Who told you that? 1725 01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:05,760 That's con... that's confidential 1726 01:15:05,760 --> 01:15:09,400 uh, doctor-cli... uh, attorney... 1727 01:15:09,400 --> 01:15:11,360 Ahh! Ahh. 1728 01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:15,160 Hey, doc, you forgot your picture. 1729 01:15:43,240 --> 01:15:44,600 Oh. 1730 01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:45,920 Man: ¶ bingo was his name-o... ¶ 1731 01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:46,960 hi. 1732 01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:49,240 Uh, is Felix in? 1733 01:15:49,240 --> 01:15:51,640 He's in the shower. 1734 01:15:51,640 --> 01:15:54,000 Oh, you're the roommate. 1735 01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:56,320 Oh, ha ha ha! He said he had a roommate. 1736 01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:57,400 I totally for... 1737 01:15:57,400 --> 01:15:59,440 Did he? And you must be... 1738 01:15:59,440 --> 01:16:01,920 I'm... I'm Jennifer. 1739 01:16:01,920 --> 01:16:04,400 I'm, uh, the almost ex-Mrs. Dr. Klink. 1740 01:16:04,400 --> 01:16:06,080 Right. 1741 01:16:06,080 --> 01:16:07,320 And you're here because... 1742 01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:09,000 Well, ah heh heh. 1743 01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:12,120 I have a very valuable piece of evidence 1744 01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:17,640 to help screw my future ex-husband, and, um... 1745 01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:20,280 I'd really like to give it to Felix. 1746 01:16:20,280 --> 01:16:22,560 Well, we're not just roommates. 1747 01:16:22,560 --> 01:16:23,560 We're partners. 1748 01:16:23,560 --> 01:16:25,520 Oh. Perfect. Ok. 1749 01:16:25,520 --> 01:16:27,480 So what happened is a got a call from Max, 1750 01:16:27,480 --> 01:16:30,080 the bartender down at the wild bill lounge. 1751 01:16:30,080 --> 01:16:32,880 He didn't know Roger and I had split, 1752 01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:35,240 so he called the house, and, uh... heh. 1753 01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:37,280 Looky what my husband 1754 01:16:37,280 --> 01:16:39,800 left behind-y in the bar. 1755 01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:42,960 I've seen this picture before. What's the big deal? 1756 01:16:42,960 --> 01:16:45,880 Wh... that's Dr. Rice next to my husband. 1757 01:16:45,880 --> 01:16:48,480 Ex! Ex-husband. Uhh! Ex-husband. 1758 01:16:48,480 --> 01:16:52,200 I mean, look at their hands. It's... 1759 01:16:52,200 --> 01:16:54,880 That's Dr. Rice? 1760 01:16:56,160 --> 01:16:59,160 "To a great orator, love, E.R." 1761 01:16:59,160 --> 01:17:03,120 Dr. Rice taught Roger the, uh, 1762 01:17:03,120 --> 01:17:05,760 cunnilingual arts, as Felix put it. 1763 01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:07,680 Isn't that funny? Ha ha ha ha! 1764 01:17:07,680 --> 01:17:09,720 Is that how he put it? 1765 01:17:12,720 --> 01:17:15,960 ¶ There was a farmer had a dog ¶ 1766 01:17:15,960 --> 01:17:18,160 ¶ and bingo was his name-o ¶ 1767 01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:21,040 ¶ nn-nn-nn-nn-dog... ¶ 1768 01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:25,800 does Felix take long showers? 1769 01:17:25,800 --> 01:17:29,800 We're lovers, not just partners. 1770 01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:31,640 Oh, yes. Ok. 1771 01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:33,520 Well, I never would have, uh, ahem, 1772 01:17:33,520 --> 01:17:35,560 I mean, look at me. It's... 1773 01:17:35,560 --> 01:17:37,160 A lot of fringe and... ok. 1774 01:17:37,160 --> 01:17:39,320 Well, he'd... he'd called you his roommate, 1775 01:17:39,320 --> 01:17:41,240 just... just so you know that. 1776 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:42,320 Sorry. 1777 01:17:42,320 --> 01:17:43,360 Oh, that's ok. 1778 01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:45,120 That's ok. 1779 01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:46,880 This, um... this is an Idaho chardonnay, 1780 01:17:46,880 --> 01:17:48,640 if you wanna... 1781 01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:49,840 I'm gonna go. 1782 01:17:49,840 --> 01:17:52,160 Uh, keep the photo. 1783 01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:54,720 Keep this. Heh. 1784 01:17:54,720 --> 01:17:56,600 And, uh... 1785 01:17:56,600 --> 01:17:59,360 Bust his balls for me, would you? 1786 01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:02,400 Don't worry. 1787 01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:34,080 This better be good. 1788 01:18:34,080 --> 01:18:37,240 I found a picture of klink with Dr. Rice. 1789 01:18:37,240 --> 01:18:38,720 Meaningless. Good-bye. 1790 01:18:38,720 --> 01:18:41,760 Guess who Dr. Rice is. 1791 01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:45,720 Really? 1792 01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:47,440 Are you sure? 1793 01:18:47,440 --> 01:18:49,760 Positive. 1794 01:18:52,160 --> 01:18:54,520 I'll call you back. 1795 01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:12,600 Conthuela, that was amathing. 1796 01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:15,720 That was a class-a misdemeanor. 1797 01:19:16,600 --> 01:19:18,520 My dear... 1798 01:19:18,520 --> 01:19:20,040 That was a felony. 1799 01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:21,240 You know what I hate? 1800 01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:23,880 I hate that one of us has to lose. 1801 01:19:23,880 --> 01:19:26,680 I wish we could both win. 1802 01:19:29,560 --> 01:19:31,040 Ohh. Ok. 1803 01:19:31,040 --> 01:19:33,480 Ok. 1804 01:19:33,480 --> 01:19:36,240 Ok. Ha. 1805 01:19:36,240 --> 01:19:37,200 Ah ha! 1806 01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:38,480 Ha ha ha! 1807 01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:42,160 Ezri: Exhibit "a" is a group photograph 1808 01:19:42,160 --> 01:19:44,240 from the otapi shrink convention, 1809 01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:46,960 Denver, 1999. 1810 01:19:46,960 --> 01:19:48,720 Do you recognize the woman 1811 01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:51,640 standing next to Roger klink? 1812 01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:54,120 Of course I do. 1813 01:19:54,120 --> 01:19:55,440 Would you please read 1814 01:19:55,440 --> 01:19:58,920 what's written on the back of the photo. 1815 01:20:00,400 --> 01:20:04,200 "To a great orator, love, E.R." 1816 01:20:04,240 --> 01:20:05,200 Who's E.R.? 1817 01:20:05,200 --> 01:20:07,520 Emily rice. 1818 01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:10,360 Ezri: Who is Emily rice? 1819 01:20:10,360 --> 01:20:13,120 Me. I am. Uh... 1820 01:20:13,120 --> 01:20:14,640 I was. 1821 01:20:14,640 --> 01:20:18,560 My second former husband was Eugene rice. 1822 01:20:18,560 --> 01:20:22,280 What did you mean, "a great orator"? 1823 01:20:22,280 --> 01:20:24,200 It's double entendre. 1824 01:20:24,200 --> 01:20:26,200 It... no big deal. 1825 01:20:26,200 --> 01:20:28,680 It refers to oral sex. 1826 01:20:28,680 --> 01:20:30,360 We had a fling in Denver. 1827 01:20:31,440 --> 01:20:32,520 We hardly left the room for 3 days, 1828 01:20:32,520 --> 01:20:34,800 although it was more of a workshop, 1829 01:20:34,800 --> 01:20:37,080 considering Roger was a sexual fledgling. 1830 01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:37,880 I object! 1831 01:20:37,880 --> 01:20:39,680 It's the truth. 1832 01:20:39,720 --> 01:20:41,520 I tutored him in various sexual techniques. 1833 01:20:41,520 --> 01:20:43,520 Granted, he... he was a quick learner. 1834 01:20:43,560 --> 01:20:47,280 He made the greatest strides in the oral disciplines, 1835 01:20:47,280 --> 01:20:48,640 hence "a great orator." 1836 01:20:48,640 --> 01:20:51,080 Oral? You and Dr. Klink? 1837 01:20:51,080 --> 01:20:53,120 I named his penis Mr. Majestic. 1838 01:20:53,120 --> 01:20:55,200 To boost his confidence. 1839 01:20:55,200 --> 01:20:56,040 Oh, Jesus... 1840 01:20:56,040 --> 01:20:56,880 oh, God! Oh, man. 1841 01:20:56,880 --> 01:20:59,000 Should I go off record? 1842 01:20:59,000 --> 01:20:59,880 Don't you dare. 1843 01:20:59,880 --> 01:21:01,720 I showed him everything. 1844 01:21:01,720 --> 01:21:03,560 I crammed 6 months of training into 3 days. 1845 01:21:03,560 --> 01:21:05,920 Oh, and we had an elevator in Denver. 1846 01:21:05,920 --> 01:21:08,320 You two had sex in an elevator? 1847 01:21:08,320 --> 01:21:09,840 Well... well, he was too timid. 1848 01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:11,680 "What if someone comes? I'm so scared." 1849 01:21:11,680 --> 01:21:14,080 You were like a supercharged sex instructor! 1850 01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:15,160 A square-dance caller! 1851 01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:16,240 "Roll over. 1852 01:21:16,240 --> 01:21:17,560 "Rub here. Touch this. 1853 01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:19,840 On your back. On your knees." 1854 01:21:19,840 --> 01:21:22,280 Uhh! It was like sexual boot camp. 1855 01:21:22,280 --> 01:21:24,920 You loved it, and then you have the nerve 1856 01:21:24,960 --> 01:21:27,760 to share my advanced circle technique with her. 1857 01:21:27,760 --> 01:21:29,600 Those circles are mine! 1858 01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:30,920 I gave him that technique. 1859 01:21:30,920 --> 01:21:33,760 But that's all it is to you, technique 1860 01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:35,200 and disciplines, maneuvers. 1861 01:21:35,200 --> 01:21:37,240 I mean, if you had just shut up once 1862 01:21:37,240 --> 01:21:39,200 during the whole weekend and let me be me, 1863 01:21:39,200 --> 01:21:41,320 I might never have gone back to my wife. 1864 01:21:41,320 --> 01:21:44,280 You should've told me, Dr. Paige. 1865 01:21:44,280 --> 01:21:45,240 It had no bearing. 1866 01:21:45,240 --> 01:21:46,200 You pressed me to sue him. 1867 01:21:46,200 --> 01:21:48,360 You wanted to nail the bastard. 1868 01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:50,960 You used me to get back at Dr. Klink! 1869 01:21:50,960 --> 01:21:52,640 How could you? 1870 01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:54,360 You, you stole the circles from Dr. Paige! 1871 01:21:54,360 --> 01:21:57,280 Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. 1872 01:21:57,280 --> 01:21:59,320 No, no! I was trying to help! 1873 01:21:59,320 --> 01:22:01,360 You used Mrs. Carmichael, 1874 01:22:01,360 --> 01:22:02,680 a broken woman. 1875 01:22:02,680 --> 01:22:04,000 Who was unable to defend herself 1876 01:22:04,000 --> 01:22:06,800 from the advances of this sexual predator. 1877 01:22:06,840 --> 01:22:10,800 Predator? He's a leaf-eater, a sexual herbivore. 1878 01:22:10,800 --> 01:22:12,320 I object. Th... 1879 01:22:12,320 --> 01:22:13,880 a predator created by Dr. Paige. 1880 01:22:13,880 --> 01:22:17,520 Oh, but then... but then her creation spurned her. 1881 01:22:17,520 --> 01:22:19,280 So you set out to destroy him, 1882 01:22:19,280 --> 01:22:22,280 and this innocent woman just got in your way. 1883 01:22:22,280 --> 01:22:23,280 None of this is true! 1884 01:22:23,280 --> 01:22:25,360 You have ruined my life, Dr. Paige. 1885 01:22:25,360 --> 01:22:26,640 My marriage is over, 1886 01:22:26,640 --> 01:22:27,920 Dan's become a greedy asshole, 1887 01:22:27,920 --> 01:22:29,440 and his shit brother is selling 1888 01:22:29,440 --> 01:22:31,920 the deposition tapes at local bars! 1889 01:22:31,920 --> 01:22:33,840 Wha... 1890 01:22:34,680 --> 01:22:36,720 I did it! 1891 01:22:36,720 --> 01:22:38,320 Oh, you're fired. 1892 01:22:38,320 --> 01:22:39,920 You can't fire her. She's pregnant. 1893 01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:43,400 Uhh. The tapes are meaningless now. 1894 01:22:43,400 --> 01:22:45,800 Remember your wish last night, consuela? 1895 01:22:45,840 --> 01:22:47,600 Last night? 1896 01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:49,400 That both of us could win this case. 1897 01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:51,240 That isn't possible, 1898 01:22:51,240 --> 01:22:52,920 but I've come up with the next best thing. 1899 01:22:52,920 --> 01:22:55,480 First, you drop your suit against klink. 1900 01:22:55,480 --> 01:22:56,240 Do what? 1901 01:22:56,240 --> 01:22:57,400 Drop the suit? Never! 1902 01:22:57,400 --> 01:22:59,080 You file a suit on behalf 1903 01:22:59,080 --> 01:23:00,840 of Mrs. Carmichael and klink, 1904 01:23:00,840 --> 01:23:03,200 the real victims in this case, 1905 01:23:03,200 --> 01:23:05,160 against the real villain, 1906 01:23:05,160 --> 01:23:10,560 the conniving and vengeful Dr. Paige. 1907 01:23:10,560 --> 01:23:12,200 This'll never hold up in court. 1908 01:23:12,200 --> 01:23:14,200 It won't have to. You'll settle 1909 01:23:14,200 --> 01:23:15,560 out of court for 5 million, 1910 01:23:15,560 --> 01:23:16,960 which the company will agree to. 1911 01:23:16,960 --> 01:23:20,880 And Melinda and klink will split 5 million. 1912 01:23:20,880 --> 01:23:21,760 Minus 30%. 1913 01:23:21,760 --> 01:23:22,800 Everyone's a winner. 1914 01:23:22,800 --> 01:23:24,640 Well, not everyone. 1915 01:23:24,680 --> 01:23:25,800 According to the settlement, 1916 01:23:25,800 --> 01:23:28,480 Dr. Paige will lose her license. 1917 01:23:28,520 --> 01:23:30,080 Lose my license? 1918 01:23:30,080 --> 01:23:31,680 But there is an island in the Caribbean 1919 01:23:31,720 --> 01:23:33,680 where you do not need a license 1920 01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:35,520 to practice the psychiatric arts. 1921 01:23:35,520 --> 01:23:37,120 Ahh! 1922 01:23:37,680 --> 01:23:38,720 Grand Cayman. 1923 01:23:38,720 --> 01:23:40,160 The Caribbean? 1924 01:23:40,160 --> 01:23:42,920 Brilliant. It's a happy ending. 1925 01:23:42,920 --> 01:23:44,480 You are the greatest. 1926 01:23:49,720 --> 01:23:52,120 Ezri: Come here, you big lug. 1927 01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:56,520 Melinda, Roger, congratulations! 1928 01:23:56,520 --> 01:23:58,160 We won! We're rich! 1929 01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:00,840 Emily: This is insane! 1930 01:24:00,840 --> 01:24:03,560 I won't agree. I wanna speak to my attorney. 1931 01:24:06,800 --> 01:24:08,280 I'm your attorney. 1932 01:24:09,960 --> 01:24:12,560 Every shrink in the great state of Idaho 1933 01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:16,080 has the same malpractice plan and the same lawyer, 1934 01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:17,400 ezri stovall. 1935 01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:19,920 As your attorney and the one voice 1936 01:24:19,920 --> 01:24:21,440 the insurance company listens to, 1937 01:24:21,440 --> 01:24:23,640 I recommend we settle out of court. 1938 01:24:23,640 --> 01:24:27,920 But... but you never settle out of court. 1939 01:24:31,480 --> 01:24:34,960 I will for you. 1940 01:24:37,720 --> 01:24:39,920 Love means making sacrifices. 1941 01:24:43,920 --> 01:24:44,880 I'm sorry, Emily. 1942 01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:46,880 Would you like some champagne? 1943 01:24:48,080 --> 01:24:50,960 No? Melinda? 1944 01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:53,840 Aah! Goddamn lawyers and doctors, go to hell! 1945 01:24:55,440 --> 01:24:57,440 Melinda? 1946 01:24:58,320 --> 01:25:00,240 Melinda, wait! 1947 01:25:00,240 --> 01:25:02,600 Ahh! Gahh! 1948 01:25:02,920 --> 01:25:04,040 Roger! Wait! 1949 01:25:04,040 --> 01:25:05,040 Roger! 1950 01:25:05,040 --> 01:25:08,000 Roger! Roger! 1951 01:25:08,840 --> 01:25:12,200 And when did you come up with all of this? 1952 01:25:12,200 --> 01:25:13,760 After you fell asleep. 1953 01:25:13,760 --> 01:25:14,800 I fell asleep? 1954 01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:15,760 Mm-hmm. 1955 01:25:15,760 --> 01:25:17,680 So we didn't... 1956 01:25:17,680 --> 01:25:20,200 No. 1957 01:25:20,200 --> 01:25:21,360 I missed it. 1958 01:25:21,360 --> 01:25:22,400 I took the liberty 1959 01:25:22,400 --> 01:25:24,960 of rescheduling you for 3:00. 1960 01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:27,240 It's time! 1961 01:25:27,240 --> 01:25:28,920 T-time? 1962 01:25:28,920 --> 01:25:31,080 Uh-huh. The baby. 1963 01:25:31,080 --> 01:25:33,040 Ohh. 1964 01:25:55,960 --> 01:25:57,880 Melinda! I'll follow. 1965 01:26:00,800 --> 01:26:02,240 Roger! Roger! 1966 01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:04,000 Get back here! 1967 01:26:17,040 --> 01:26:18,520 Pull over! 1968 01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:20,680 We need to talk! 1969 01:26:27,360 --> 01:26:29,200 Ohh! Roger! 1970 01:26:29,560 --> 01:26:31,320 Roger! 1971 01:26:31,320 --> 01:26:32,800 Brother, Emily. 1972 01:26:33,480 --> 01:26:34,960 Roger! 1973 01:26:34,960 --> 01:26:38,560 Roger, for the love... 1974 01:26:45,880 --> 01:26:48,600 Come on. Come on. 1975 01:27:15,280 --> 01:27:16,440 Go away! Ohh! 1976 01:27:16,440 --> 01:27:18,240 Guhh. Ok. All right. 1977 01:27:18,240 --> 01:27:20,080 Listen, I must've been crazy 1978 01:27:20,080 --> 01:27:21,440 to risk losing you, ok? 1979 01:27:21,440 --> 01:27:23,240 Screw the money. Screw the lawyers. 1980 01:27:23,240 --> 01:27:25,200 Screw Larry. Sc-screw the shrinks. 1981 01:27:25,200 --> 01:27:27,000 I j... I just want you. 1982 01:27:27,000 --> 01:27:28,800 I'm begging you, please. I'm begging you. 1983 01:27:28,800 --> 01:27:30,960 I need you. We're a team, remember? 1984 01:27:30,960 --> 01:27:32,720 Siegfried & Roy, ham and cheese. 1985 01:27:32,720 --> 01:27:34,720 You don't care about the money? 1986 01:27:34,720 --> 01:27:36,240 I don't need money to be happy, Mel. 1987 01:27:36,240 --> 01:27:39,480 I just need you. That's it. 1988 01:27:39,480 --> 01:27:44,560 I missed you so much. 1989 01:27:44,560 --> 01:27:46,440 Kiss me. 1990 01:27:50,040 --> 01:27:52,200 I lied to you. 1991 01:27:52,200 --> 01:27:54,360 I didn't throw my diaphragm away or lose it. 1992 01:27:54,360 --> 01:27:54,920 You didn't? 1993 01:27:54,960 --> 01:27:56,360 It's here in my purse. 1994 01:27:56,360 --> 01:28:00,160 And do you... do you have any of that, uh, sauce? 1995 01:28:00,160 --> 01:28:01,640 Spermicidal gel? 1996 01:28:01,640 --> 01:28:02,680 Say it again. 1997 01:28:02,680 --> 01:28:05,120 Spermicidal gel. 1998 01:28:07,240 --> 01:28:08,920 Go get it, Mel. We're in business. 1999 01:28:08,920 --> 01:28:10,040 Mr. Happy! 2000 01:28:10,040 --> 01:28:11,200 Let's not call it that anymore. 2001 01:28:11,200 --> 01:28:12,880 What should we call it?! 2002 01:28:12,880 --> 01:28:14,600 I'll think of something. Let's... come on. 2003 01:28:14,600 --> 01:28:15,480 Ok, ok. All right. 2004 01:28:15,480 --> 01:28:17,640 All right. I'll be right back. 2005 01:28:17,640 --> 01:28:19,000 Oh, my God. 2006 01:28:21,440 --> 01:28:23,800 Oh, God. 2007 01:28:26,280 --> 01:28:27,200 Heh heh. 2008 01:28:27,200 --> 01:28:29,000 Oh, my God. 2009 01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:30,880 Oh, I love birth control. 2010 01:28:30,880 --> 01:28:31,520 Heh heh heh. 2011 01:28:31,520 --> 01:28:33,080 Why are you laughing? 2012 01:28:33,080 --> 01:28:34,320 We're rich. 2013 01:28:34,320 --> 01:28:35,840 There was a settlement, 2014 01:28:35,840 --> 01:28:40,120 and we get almost $2 million. 2015 01:28:40,120 --> 01:28:41,760 We're rich. 2016 01:28:41,760 --> 01:28:43,720 Yeah. 2017 01:28:43,720 --> 01:28:45,640 Ah. We can afford one of those tract houses. 2018 01:28:45,640 --> 01:28:47,600 Mm-hmm. 2019 01:28:47,760 --> 01:28:48,800 Dan: Oh, God. 2020 01:28:59,280 --> 01:29:00,120 Oh, God! Oh, God! 2021 01:29:01,000 --> 01:29:03,880 Melinda, are you all right?! 2022 01:29:03,880 --> 01:29:06,680 Oh, God. Danny, it's him! 2023 01:29:08,080 --> 01:29:09,480 And that's how we got here. 2024 01:29:09,480 --> 01:29:11,640 Klink, Paige, rice. 2025 01:29:11,640 --> 01:29:13,200 Need a goddamn program. 2026 01:29:13,200 --> 01:29:14,680 Yeah. 2027 01:29:15,080 --> 01:29:16,080 Deputy: Hey. 2028 01:29:16,080 --> 01:29:17,040 Turn that damn thing off. 2029 01:29:17,080 --> 01:29:18,320 All right, I've had about enough. 2030 01:29:18,360 --> 01:29:21,360 Get yourself in position near the door. We're going in. 2031 01:29:21,360 --> 01:29:23,120 Deputy: Here. 2032 01:29:23,120 --> 01:29:25,040 Thank you, little lady. 2033 01:29:25,040 --> 01:29:26,880 Dan: Hurry! 2034 01:29:26,880 --> 01:29:28,720 Oh, God! I love you, Danny! 2035 01:29:28,720 --> 01:29:30,320 I love you, too, baby! 2036 01:29:30,320 --> 01:29:34,680 Wait! Let me try talking to them. 2037 01:29:34,680 --> 01:29:37,680 Melinda, on bullhorn: Dr. Paige. 2038 01:29:37,680 --> 01:29:39,400 Dr. Klink. 2039 01:29:39,400 --> 01:29:42,800 Honesty first, right? 2040 01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:46,240 I mean, Dr. Paige, what do you want from Dr. Klink, 2041 01:29:46,240 --> 01:29:48,040 and vice versa? 2042 01:29:48,040 --> 01:29:50,080 Danny and me took your advice. 2043 01:29:50,080 --> 01:29:53,840 We were finally honest with each other. 2044 01:29:53,840 --> 01:29:55,480 It worked. 2045 01:29:55,480 --> 01:29:56,640 Yeah, a-all relationships 2046 01:29:56,640 --> 01:29:57,880 are killed by, uh, dishonesty, 2047 01:29:57,880 --> 01:29:59,680 repressed feelings, things left unsaid... 2048 01:29:59,680 --> 01:30:01,320 things like that, you know? 2049 01:30:01,320 --> 01:30:03,360 Come on, you guys. Honesty first, huh? 2050 01:30:03,360 --> 01:30:05,960 Emily, I wanted to be with you so bad, 2051 01:30:05,960 --> 01:30:08,920 I was sick after the otapi conference. 2052 01:30:09,760 --> 01:30:11,480 Roger, I want you. 2053 01:30:11,480 --> 01:30:13,160 I've wanted to be close to you since Denver. 2054 01:30:13,160 --> 01:30:14,920 It's all I've ever wanted. 2055 01:30:14,920 --> 01:30:16,360 My wife and I were married 2056 01:30:16,360 --> 01:30:17,800 because of a grammatical misunderstanding. 2057 01:30:17,800 --> 01:30:19,400 She thought I proposed. 2058 01:30:19,400 --> 01:30:20,800 I only meant. 2059 01:30:20,800 --> 01:30:22,200 I could hypothetically marry her. 2060 01:30:22,200 --> 01:30:23,560 I only married Mr. Paige to make you jealous. 2061 01:30:23,560 --> 01:30:25,040 I... I fantasized that you 2062 01:30:25,040 --> 01:30:26,520 would burst into the church and stop it. 2063 01:30:26,520 --> 01:30:27,560 That was my fantasy. 2064 01:30:27,560 --> 01:30:29,480 I wanted to, but I was afraid. 2065 01:30:29,480 --> 01:30:31,320 Oh, Roger, let's start over, honesty first. 2066 01:30:31,320 --> 01:30:34,400 I... I was thinking there's gotta be a need 2067 01:30:34,400 --> 01:30:37,040 for couples counseling on grand Cayman, right? 2068 01:30:37,040 --> 01:30:39,760 That's what I was thinking. 2069 01:30:39,760 --> 01:30:41,800 I love you, Emily. 2070 01:30:42,320 --> 01:30:45,400 Ohh. I love you, Roger. 2071 01:30:48,280 --> 01:30:49,440 Aah! Don't shoot me! 2072 01:30:49,440 --> 01:30:51,360 Oh, God! Danny! 2073 01:30:51,360 --> 01:30:52,640 Aah! 2074 01:30:52,640 --> 01:30:54,360 Aah! 2075 01:30:54,360 --> 01:30:55,200 Medic: What the? 2076 01:30:57,680 --> 01:31:00,200 Melinda! Melinda! 2077 01:31:00,200 --> 01:31:01,880 Melinda! 2078 01:31:01,880 --> 01:31:04,600 Go evasive! Go evasive! 2079 01:31:04,600 --> 01:31:05,400 Are you shot? 2080 01:31:05,400 --> 01:31:06,680 No. It's champagne. 2081 01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:07,640 Champagne? 2082 01:31:07,640 --> 01:31:10,720 Get in there, trousdale. 2083 01:31:13,760 --> 01:31:15,480 Aw, shit. 2084 01:31:24,640 --> 01:31:26,760 Careful, trousdale. 2085 01:31:29,960 --> 01:31:32,360 Well? 2086 01:31:33,680 --> 01:31:36,480 Ohh. Ohh, in circles. Ohh. 2087 01:31:36,480 --> 01:31:39,120 The crisis will be resolved 2088 01:31:39,120 --> 01:31:42,560 in about 30 seconds, sir. 2089 01:31:45,120 --> 01:31:48,800 Goddamn it, you two better hold on tight this time. 2090 01:31:48,800 --> 01:31:51,440 There isn't anybody else in the world 2091 01:31:51,440 --> 01:31:52,720 that could love you. 2092 01:31:52,720 --> 01:31:53,680 Yes, sir. 2093 01:31:53,680 --> 01:31:56,240 Heh. Don't worry. 2094 01:32:10,120 --> 01:32:14,160 Consuela, we're just getting started. 2095 01:32:18,040 --> 01:32:20,880 God, I love a happy ending. 2096 01:32:44,560 --> 01:32:48,400 Lucky Larry's lift. Come down and get lucky. 2097 01:36:33,800 --> 01:36:36,200 Captioning made possible by lions gate entertainment 2098 01:36:36,200 --> 01:36:40,520 captioned by the national captioning institute. Www.Ncicap.Org... 138897

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