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1
00:00:01,967 --> 00:00:04,867
Man:
THIS IS WASHINGTON, D.C.
2
00:00:04,867 --> 00:00:07,467
SOMEWHERE IN THIS CITYIS THE HEADQUARTERS
3
00:00:07,467 --> 00:00:10,567
OF A TOP SECRET ORGANIZATIONKNOWN AS CONTROL.
4
00:00:10,567 --> 00:00:12,967
ITS BUSINESS ISCOUNTERESPIONAGE.
5
00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:17,567
THIS IS SYMPHONY HALLIN WASHINGTON.
6
00:00:17,567 --> 00:00:19,600
SOMEWHEREIN THIS AUDIENCE IS
7
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,667
ONE OF CONTROL'STOP EMPLOYEES,
8
00:00:21,667 --> 00:00:24,233
A MAN WHO LIVES A LIFEOF DANGER AND INTRIGUE,
9
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,233
A MAN WHO'S BEENCAREFULLY TRAINED
10
00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:29,701
NEVER TO DISCLOSE THE FACTTHAT HE IS A SECRET AGENT.
11
00:00:29,701 --> 00:00:31,634
( phone ringing )
12
00:00:51,867 --> 00:00:54,068
( phone continues ringing )
13
00:01:11,367 --> 00:01:13,367
THIS IS SMART:
14
00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:15,367
MAXWELL SMART,
AGENT 86.
15
00:01:16,567 --> 00:01:18,901
HELLO, CHIEF?
MAX.WHAT'S UP?
16
00:01:19,967 --> 00:01:22,400
KAOS, EH?
17
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,434
YES, SIR.
I'LL BE RIGHT OVER.
18
00:01:28,867 --> 00:01:32,267
UH, I MAY BE
A FEW MINUTES LATE, CHIEF.
19
00:02:06,867 --> 00:02:08,801
( tires screeching )
20
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:20,500
( theme music playing )
21
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,434
- HELLO, MAX.
- HI, CHIEF.
22
00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:18,101
( dings )
23
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:22,801
- GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU, CHIEF.
24
00:03:22,801 --> 00:03:25,867
WELL, CHIEF, WHAT'S ALL
THE EXCITEMENT ABOUT?
25
00:03:25,867 --> 00:03:28,001
MAX, THIS IS A BIG ONE.
26
00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:31,068
THE FATE
OF OUR ENTIRE NATION
MAY DEPEND ON IT.
27
00:03:31,068 --> 00:03:33,300
AS YOU KNOW,
HERE AT CONTROL
28
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:36,400
IT'S POLICY
TO ASSIGN CASES
IN ROTATION.
29
00:03:38,101 --> 00:03:40,101
WELL, IT'S YOUR TURN
AT BAT.
30
00:03:40,101 --> 00:03:41,434
RIGHT.
31
00:03:41,434 --> 00:03:43,967
OH, I'M SORRY.
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, SIR.
32
00:03:43,967 --> 00:03:46,134
IT'S JUST THAT
I'M RARING TO GO.
33
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,200
MAX, LET ME GIVE YOU
A QUICK BRIEFING.
34
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,134
FIRST OF ALL,
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS IS?
35
00:03:58,834 --> 00:04:00,600
I BELIEVE
IT'S A PHOTOGRAPH.
36
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,400
IT'S A MACHINE
CALLED THE INTHERMO,
37
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,400
AND IT'S CAPABLE
OF CONVERTING HEAT WAVES
38
00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,300
INTO IMMENSE
DESTRUCTIVE POWER.
39
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,101
NOW, MAX,IT'S BEEN STOLEN
40
00:04:10,101 --> 00:04:12,500
AND ITS INVENTOR,PROFESSOR HUGO DANTE,
41
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,600
KIDNAPPED FROM HISLONG ISLAND LABORATORY.
42
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,867
SOUNDS LIKE
THE KAOS ORGANIZATION
43
00:04:16,867 --> 00:04:19,267
- IS BACK IN ACTION, CHIEF.
- RIGHT.
44
00:04:19,267 --> 00:04:21,367
AND THEIR MR. BIG,
WHOEVER HE IS,
45
00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:25,500
HAS BROADCAST A DEMAND
FOR $100 MILLION RANSOM
46
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:28,233
OR HE'LL USE THE INTHERMOAGAINST OUR CITIES.
47
00:04:28,233 --> 00:04:31,200
MR. BIG MUST BE STOPPED
BEFORE HE GOES ANY FURTHER
48
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,534
- AND, MAX, IT SEEMS TO ME--
- JUST A MINUTE, CHIEF.
49
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:36,500
- ISN'T THIS TOP SECURITY?
- YES.
50
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:39,068
WELL, SHOULDN'T WE ACTIVATE
THE CONE OF SILENCE?
51
00:04:39,068 --> 00:04:40,734
THE CONE OF SILENCE?
52
00:04:40,734 --> 00:04:43,168
- YES.
- ALL RIGHT, MAX.
53
00:04:43,168 --> 00:04:45,434
- HODGKINS.
- Yes, sir.
54
00:04:45,434 --> 00:04:47,934
ACTIVATE
THE CONE OF SILENCE.
55
00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:49,934
The cone of silence?
56
00:04:49,934 --> 00:04:51,867
( whirring )
57
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:56,934
FIRST OF ALL,
HOW MUCH--
58
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:04,068
HOW MUCH DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT KAOS?
59
00:05:04,068 --> 00:05:06,200
WHAT DID YOU SAY, SIR?
60
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,634
- KAOS.
- WHAT?
61
00:05:08,634 --> 00:05:10,168
( shouts )
KAOS.
62
00:05:10,168 --> 00:05:12,467
OH, KAOS.
YES, OF COURSE.
63
00:05:12,467 --> 00:05:15,034
WELL THAT'S AN INTERNATIONAL
CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION
64
00:05:15,034 --> 00:05:17,034
THAT WAS FOUNDED...
65
00:05:17,034 --> 00:05:19,134
OH, I THINK, IN 1957.
66
00:05:19,134 --> 00:05:20,934
HOW'S THAT?
67
00:05:20,934 --> 00:05:22,667
- '57.
- WHAT?
68
00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:24,434
( shouts)
'57!
69
00:05:24,434 --> 00:05:26,634
AGENT 57 IS
IN HONG KONG.
70
00:05:26,634 --> 00:05:28,567
- WHAT?
- HONG KONG.
71
00:05:29,634 --> 00:05:31,634
WHAT ABOUT HONG KONG?
72
00:05:31,634 --> 00:05:33,134
WHAT?
73
00:05:33,134 --> 00:05:34,834
HONG KONG!
74
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,667
WHY ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT HONG KONG?
75
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:39,634
- WHAT?
- HONG--
76
00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:44,233
HODGKINS,
77
00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:46,467
RAISE THE CONE
OF SILENCE.
78
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:50,300
- What?
- RAISE THE CONE
OF SILENCE!
79
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:53,068
( whirring )
80
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,467
PERHAPS WE COULD
JUST TALK SOFTLY, SIR.
81
00:06:00,001 --> 00:06:02,600
MAX, LET'S GET YOU
SET UP WITH SOME
SPECIAL EQUIPMENT.
82
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,534
WOULD YOU PLEASE?
83
00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:07,834
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'LL NEED?
84
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,834
WELL, CHIEF, THIS LOOKS
LIKE A HEAVY CASE,
85
00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:13,168
BUT I THINK
I'LL JUST TAKE
THE BARE NECESSITIES--
86
00:06:13,168 --> 00:06:15,567
MY BINO-SPECS,
87
00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:18,068
MY LOCKER KEY
88
00:06:18,068 --> 00:06:20,068
AND MY BERETTA.
89
00:06:20,068 --> 00:06:22,068
MAX, TAKE THE INFLATO-COAT
WITH YOU.
90
00:06:22,068 --> 00:06:23,834
OH, CHIEF, IT'S
THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER.
91
00:06:23,834 --> 00:06:26,068
BESIDES, THAT'S NOT
EVEN MY SIZE.
92
00:06:26,068 --> 00:06:28,333
HODGKINS WILL ISSUE ONE
IN YOUR SIZE.
93
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:30,333
I WANT YOU TO HAVE ONE
WITH YOU.
94
00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:32,534
WELL, OKAY, CHIEF,
IF YOU SAY SO.
95
00:06:32,534 --> 00:06:34,200
ANYTHING ELSE?
96
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,001
WELL, I THINK I'D LIKE
TO TAKE K-13 WITH ME
ON THIS ONE.
97
00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,801
WE'VE WORKED
TOGETHER BEFORE
98
00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:41,134
AND HE'S PROVED USEFUL.
99
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,701
HODGKINS, SEND IN K-13.
100
00:06:44,701 --> 00:06:46,134
Yes, sir.
101
00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:50,233
DOWN, BOY.
HOW ARE YOU?
102
00:06:50,233 --> 00:06:52,801
HOW ARE YOU, BOY?
WELL, ARE YOU READY
FOR ANOTHER ONE?
103
00:06:52,801 --> 00:06:54,934
THIS MAY BE
A TOUGH ONE, FELLA.
104
00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:56,434
THINK WE CAN HANDLE IT?
105
00:06:56,434 --> 00:06:58,467
NOW REMEMBER,
WE'RE DEALING WITH KAOS
106
00:06:58,467 --> 00:07:01,701
AND IF WE FALL
INTO THEIR HANDS,
THEY'LL SHOW US NO MERCY.
107
00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:03,934
YOU THINK WE CAN FACE
EXCRUCIATING TORTURE?
108
00:07:03,934 --> 00:07:05,867
( barks )
109
00:07:07,267 --> 00:07:09,901
- AGENT 99 WILL MEET YOU
AT THE AIRPORT.
- GOOD.
110
00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:12,134
UH, HOW WILL I
KNOW 99, CHIEF?
111
00:07:12,134 --> 00:07:15,001
99 WILL FIND YOU.
USE THE FOLLOWING PHRASE:
112
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,233
"NEW YORK METS
WIN DOUBLE-HEADER."
113
00:07:17,233 --> 00:07:19,267
HEY, I LIKE THAT.
114
00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:21,567
NEW YORK METS
WIN DOUBLE-HEADER.
115
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,068
THAT'S VERY GOOD.
116
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,934
86, YOUR MISSION
IS SIMPLE--
117
00:07:24,934 --> 00:07:26,467
FIND KAOS AND DESTROY IT,
118
00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:28,701
GET MR. BIG,
RESCUE PROFESSOR DANTE
119
00:07:28,701 --> 00:07:30,701
AND BRING BACK
THE INTHERMO.
120
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:33,300
THIS MAY RUN INTO
A LITTLE OVERTIME, CHIEF.
121
00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:35,600
MAX, YOU REALIZE
YOU'LL BE FACING
122
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:40,367
EVERY KIND OF DANGER
IMAGINABLE.
123
00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:42,367
AND...
124
00:07:42,367 --> 00:07:44,134
LOVING IT.
125
00:07:44,134 --> 00:07:45,400
YES.
126
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:51,834
( dings )
127
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:55,168
MAX, WE'RE TRAINED
128
00:07:55,168 --> 00:07:57,367
NOT TO HAVE ANY
PERSONAL FEELINGS,
129
00:07:57,367 --> 00:08:00,068
BUT I THINK YOU KNOW
THAT IF I HAD ANY CHILDREN,
130
00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:02,834
I'D LIKE THEM TO BE
LIKE YOU AND FANG.
131
00:08:04,934 --> 00:08:06,600
THANK YOU, CHIEF.
132
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,467
GOOD HUNTING, MAX,
133
00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,068
AND REMEMBER THE CODE:
134
00:08:10,068 --> 00:08:12,101
"NEW YORK METS
WIN DOUBLE-HEADER."
135
00:08:12,101 --> 00:08:13,901
THAT I'D LIKE TO SEE.
136
00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:19,434
Man over P.A.:
Flight 92, TranscontinentalAirlines,
137
00:08:19,434 --> 00:08:21,701
now departing gate 7.
138
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,701
SIT, BOY, SIT.
139
00:08:23,701 --> 00:08:25,967
COME ON, SIT, SIT.
140
00:08:25,967 --> 00:08:27,667
GOOD BOY.
141
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,168
STAY HERE.
142
00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:32,567
( man continues announcingover P.A. )
143
00:08:41,734 --> 00:08:44,500
Boy:
"NEW YORK METS WINDOUBLE-HEADER"!
144
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,934
YOU WAIT HERE.
MOTHER WILL GO CHECK
ON OUR TICKETS.
145
00:08:46,934 --> 00:08:48,367
OKAY.
146
00:08:51,634 --> 00:08:53,634
NEW YORK METS
WIN DOUBLE-HEADER.
147
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,134
THAT'S RIGHT.
148
00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:56,801
ANY NEW DEVELOPMENTS
FROM KAOS?
149
00:08:58,634 --> 00:09:00,801
WHAT ABOUT DANTE
AND THE INTHERMO?
150
00:09:02,034 --> 00:09:03,367
ARE YOU 99?
151
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:05,567
NO, I'M SIX AND A HALF.
152
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:25,667
Woman:
NEW YORK METSWIN DOUBLE-HEADER.
153
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:27,134
I KNOW, I KNOW.
154
00:09:32,567 --> 00:09:34,767
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
155
00:09:34,767 --> 00:09:37,634
THE SCORE WAS
99 TO 86.
156
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,734
- ARE YOU 99?
- UH-HUH.
157
00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:45,867
- 86?
- YES.
158
00:09:45,867 --> 00:09:47,867
I THOUGHT YOU'D WANT
TO GET RIGHT OUT
159
00:09:47,867 --> 00:09:50,734
- TO PROFESSOR DANTE'S
LABORATORY AT CRAVEHAVEN.
- GOOD.
160
00:09:50,734 --> 00:09:52,734
I SPOKE TO ZELINKA.
THAT'S HIS ASSISTANT.
161
00:09:52,734 --> 00:09:54,867
- SHE'S EXPECTING US.
- EXCELLENT.
162
00:09:54,867 --> 00:09:58,767
I HAVE A CAR OUTSIDE.
FOLLOW ME.
163
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,734
HOLD IT.
164
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:04,034
I THINK I'M BEING
FOLLOWED.
165
00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:05,534
THERE'S A MAN
RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
166
00:10:05,534 --> 00:10:08,134
- UH-HUH.WHERE?
- DON'T TURN AROUND,
167
00:10:08,134 --> 00:10:10,567
BUT YOU CAN SEE HIM
THROUGH MY MIRRORED
CUFFLINKS.
168
00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:12,667
UH-HUH.
169
00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:14,333
WHO'S HE?
170
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:16,834
PROBABLY A RECEPTION
COMMITTEE FROM KAOS.
171
00:10:16,834 --> 00:10:18,667
YOU WAIT HERE.
172
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:21,134
- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
- I'M GONNA USE
MY LOCKER KEY.
173
00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:32,500
- 34?
- YES, 86.
174
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,434
MAN BEHIND ME--
175
00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:40,634
GUN UNDER HIS RAINCOAT.
PROBABLY KAOS AGENT.
176
00:10:40,634 --> 00:10:43,434
PUT PLAN Y-14
INTO EFFECT.
177
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,667
99 AND I WILL ACT
AS DECOYS.
178
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:47,701
- ALL RIGHT?
- ALL RIGHT.
179
00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:56,467
THE PLAN IS Y-14.
180
00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:58,068
- LET'S GO.
- RIGHT.
181
00:11:30,134 --> 00:11:33,801
THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST
EXPERIMENTAL LABORATORIES
IN THE WORLD.
182
00:11:33,801 --> 00:11:36,567
WE HAVE ALL THE FINEST
EQUIPMENT.
183
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:39,333
OH, TRY IT AGAIN
AT 700 CCMs.
184
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:41,333
SAY, ISN'T THIS
THE INTHERMO?
185
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,467
OH NO, THAT'S ONLY
A DUMMY MODEL
186
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:45,168
OF THE STOLEN INTHERMO,
187
00:11:45,168 --> 00:11:47,168
BUT IT CAN BE USED
TO DEMONSTRATE
188
00:11:47,168 --> 00:11:48,667
HOW THE BASIC PRINCIPLE
189
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,667
OF THERMAL CONCENTRICITY
HOLDS TRUE.
190
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:53,400
ACTUALLY, THE DYNAMICS
OF THE CATALYTIC PHENOMENA
191
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,734
IS EXPRESSED IN DIRECT RATIO
TO ITS INITIAL MOLECULAR
CONCLUSION.
192
00:11:56,734 --> 00:11:59,500
YES, WELL, PERHAPS
WE'D BETTER GET ON
TO SOMETHING ELSE.
193
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,867
I'D LIKE TO KNOW
EXACTLY WHERE YOU WERE
194
00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:04,934
WHEN THE PROFESSOR
WAS ABDUCTED.
195
00:12:04,934 --> 00:12:07,967
IF YOU DON'T MIND, 99,
I'D LIKE TO HANDLE THIS
MYSELF.
196
00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,634
RIGHT.
197
00:12:09,634 --> 00:12:12,400
I'D LIKE TO KNOW
EXACTLY WHERE YOU WERE
198
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,400
WHEN THE PROFESSOR
DANTE WAS ABDUCTED.
199
00:12:16,434 --> 00:12:19,667
YOU CAME OUTSIDE
AND YOU SAW THEM STRUGGLING
WITH PROFESSOR DANTE.
200
00:12:19,667 --> 00:12:21,767
EXACTLY WHERE
DID THAT TAKE PLACE?
201
00:12:21,767 --> 00:12:24,068
THE CAR WAS
OVER THERE BY THE BUSHES.
202
00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:25,934
LOOK, HE'S FOUND
SOMETHING.
203
00:12:25,934 --> 00:12:27,934
COME HERE, FANG.
COME HERE, BOY.
204
00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:30,001
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, BOY?
COME HERE.
205
00:12:30,001 --> 00:12:32,467
OH, IT'S ONLY
AN OLD BANANA PEEL.
206
00:12:32,467 --> 00:12:34,701
WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE IT TO ME?
I'LL THROW IT AWAY.
207
00:12:34,701 --> 00:12:36,634
WAIT A MINUTE.
208
00:12:37,901 --> 00:12:40,867
THAT'S FUNNY.
IT'S MADE OF RUBBER.
209
00:12:40,867 --> 00:12:43,068
HERE, LET ME SEE THAT.
210
00:12:43,068 --> 00:12:45,467
A RUBBER BANANA PEEL.
211
00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:47,134
HMM.
212
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,534
A RUBBER BANANA.
213
00:12:49,534 --> 00:12:51,634
THAT'S STRANGE.
214
00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:53,634
WAIT A MINUTE.
215
00:12:53,634 --> 00:12:56,001
THERE'S SOMETHING
WRITTEN ON THIS.
216
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:59,701
"SOU STRET NOV."
217
00:12:59,701 --> 00:13:00,934
WHAT COULD THAT MEAN?
218
00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:03,834
"SOUTH...
219
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,934
STREET...
220
00:13:05,934 --> 00:13:08,667
NOVELTY...
221
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,667
INC."
222
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:14,101
SOUTH STREET.
THAT'S DOWN BY
THE WATERFRONT.
223
00:13:14,101 --> 00:13:16,634
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
THEY COULD HAVE
VERY EASILY
224
00:13:16,634 --> 00:13:19,200
HAVE DROPPED THIS
WHEN THEY ABDUCTED
THE PROFESSOR.
225
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,901
99, YOU'D BETTER
GET THE CAR.
226
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,967
- I THINK WE SHOULD
FOLLOW THIS UP.
- RIGHT.
227
00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:24,967
HMM...
228
00:13:24,967 --> 00:13:28,567
YOU KNOW, THIS MAY BE
OUR FIRST REAL LEAD.
229
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:30,934
BUT WHY A RUBBER BANANA?
230
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,434
THANK YOU, ZELINKA.
231
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,500
BUT WHY A RUBBER
BANANA PEEL?
232
00:13:40,701 --> 00:13:43,934
- ( Fang squeals )
- SORRY, FANG.
233
00:13:43,934 --> 00:13:46,500
86, QUICK.
KAOS IS BROADCASTING AGAIN.
234
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:48,734
Man:
We will offera practical demonstration
235
00:13:48,734 --> 00:13:50,634
of the Inthermo'senormous power.
236
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:54,300
At 4:00 this afternoonin full view of downtownManhattan
237
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,600
we will destroya great public figure.
238
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:01,300
This is K.A.O.S., KAOS,singing off.
239
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,934
A GREAT PUBLIC FIGURE
AT 4:00 THIS AFTERNOON.
240
00:14:03,934 --> 00:14:05,600
- WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
- 2:20.
241
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,367
2:20.THAT GIVES US
EXACTLY ONE HOUR
AND 40 MINUTES
242
00:14:08,367 --> 00:14:11,500
AND NOTHING TO GO ON
BUT A RUBBER BANANA PEEL.
243
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,967
STEP ON IT.
HERE, BOY.
244
00:14:16,934 --> 00:14:18,867
( tires screech )
245
00:14:48,734 --> 00:14:51,267
IT'S ALL SET.
SMART'S ON HIS WAY UP.
246
00:14:51,267 --> 00:14:53,300
MOVE INTO POSITION.
247
00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:04,134
( foghorn whistles )
248
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,267
- YES?
- I BELIEVE THIS IS
249
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:21,967
ONE OF YOUR
RUBBER BANANA PEELS.
250
00:15:21,967 --> 00:15:24,434
I'D LIKE TO KNOWWHEN IT WAS PURCHASEDAND BY WHOM.
251
00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:26,300
I'D APPRECIATE IT
IF YOU'D MAKE IT SNAPPY.
252
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,233
WE'RE IN KIND OF
A HURRY.
253
00:15:30,701 --> 00:15:35,001
( foghorn whistles )
254
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:38,300
UH, THIS LOOKS LIKE IT.
255
00:15:39,734 --> 00:15:41,901
YOU'LL PROBABLY FIND
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
256
00:15:41,901 --> 00:15:43,834
ON PAGE EIGHT.
257
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,534
WELL, I DON'T SEE
ANYTHING HERE.
258
00:15:49,534 --> 00:15:51,834
HERE.
259
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:53,300
WHERE?
260
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,667
HERE.
261
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:58,934
( high-pitched pulsating )
262
00:15:58,934 --> 00:16:01,534
( barks )
263
00:16:03,001 --> 00:16:04,867
( crackling )
264
00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:22,400
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, 99?
- UH-HUH.HOW ABOUT YOU?
265
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,367
YES, FORTUNATELY, FANG
KNOCKED ME OUT OF THE WAY
JUST IN TIME.
266
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:27,034
PHEW.THAT WAS
A CLOSE ONE.
267
00:16:27,034 --> 00:16:30,001
YES, NOW WE'VE GOT
EXACTLY...
268
00:16:30,001 --> 00:16:31,934
10--
269
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:36,767
WHY, YOU'RE A GIRL.
270
00:16:36,767 --> 00:16:38,267
YES.
271
00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:41,200
( barks )
272
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,901
HE'S RIGHT.
273
00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:45,967
YES, I SUPPOSE SO.
WE'VE GOT EXACTLY
10 MINUTES
274
00:16:45,967 --> 00:16:48,068
TO STOP THEM FROM USING
THAT INTHERMO AGAIN.
275
00:16:48,068 --> 00:16:50,567
THE BEAM MUST HAVE
COME FROM SOMEWHERE
OUT IN THE HARBOR.
276
00:16:50,567 --> 00:16:52,134
BE CAREFUL.
277
00:16:52,134 --> 00:16:54,567
YES, WELL, I DON'T SEEM
TO SEE ANYTHING
DOWN THERE.
278
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:57,300
THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE
EXCEPT THAT OLD
GARBAGE SCOW.
279
00:16:57,300 --> 00:17:00,734
BUT THERE'S SOMETHING FUNNY
ABOUT THAT OLD SCOW.
280
00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:03,233
( snaps finger )
I'VE GOT IT!SEAGULLS!
281
00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:05,600
OH.BUT THERE ARE
NO SEAGULLS.
282
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,934
EXACTLY.
DID YOU EVER SEE
AN OLD GARBAGE SCOW
283
00:17:07,934 --> 00:17:09,667
WITHOUT SEAGULLS
HOVERING OVER IT?
284
00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:11,767
I'D BETTER TAKE
A CLOSER LOOK.
285
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,500
( foghorn whistling )
286
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,333
OF COURSE, THAT IT!
287
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,333
RUBBER TRASH--
288
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:26,367
USING IT FOR CAMOUFLAGE.
289
00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:29,134
PROFESSOR DANTE
AND THE INTHERMO
ARE ON THAT BOAT,
290
00:17:29,134 --> 00:17:31,001
OR I'M NOT SMART.
291
00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:33,034
99-- OH--
292
00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:35,300
WE'VE GOTTA GET DOWN THERE,
GRAB ONE OF THOSE DINGHIES
293
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:37,034
AND GET ONBOARD THAT BOAT
BEFORE THEY USE
294
00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:39,200
- THAT DARN THING AGAIN.
COME ON.
- RIGHT.
295
00:17:42,101 --> 00:17:44,667
GOOD.
THEY'RE BELOW DECK.
KEEP LOW AND KEEP QUIET.
296
00:17:52,867 --> 00:17:54,600
TOSS THE GUN OVERBOARD.
297
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,967
( splashes )
298
00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:59,300
THE OLD
GARBAGE TRICK, EH?
299
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:03,034
THAT'S THE SECOND TIME
IT'S BEEN PULLED ON ME
THIS YEAR.
300
00:18:03,034 --> 00:18:04,967
MR. BIG WANTS
TO SEE YOU.
301
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,567
SO YOU'RE MR. BIG.
302
00:18:15,567 --> 00:18:18,034
SO YOU'RE
MAXWELL SMART.
303
00:18:18,034 --> 00:18:20,534
AT LAST WE MEET
FACE-TO-FACE.
304
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,801
PLEASE MAKE
YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE.
( snaps fingers )
305
00:18:29,267 --> 00:18:32,068
WHAT AN UNEXPECTED
AND DELIGHTFUL PLEASURE
306
00:18:32,068 --> 00:18:35,600
TO HAVE THE ILLUSTRIOUS
MAXWELL SMART AS MY GUEST.
307
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,134
WILL YOU HAVE A DRINK?
308
00:18:37,134 --> 00:18:40,434
OH, UH, NO.
309
00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:42,667
NO.PERHAPS
A CIGARETTE?
310
00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:44,600
( foghorn bellowing )
311
00:18:46,934 --> 00:18:50,367
THOSE ARE TRULY
MAGNIFICENT BLENDS
312
00:18:50,367 --> 00:18:52,367
SPECIALLY
IMPORTED FOR ME
313
00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:54,901
FROM HEIDELBERG.
314
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,834
VERY GOOD.
315
00:18:58,168 --> 00:19:01,434
I SEE THAT WHAT YOUR
ORGANIZATION LACKS
IN STRATEGY
316
00:19:01,434 --> 00:19:03,567
MORE THAN MAKES UP
IN LOVELINESS.
317
00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:06,001
- THANK YOU.
- TAKE THEM BELOW
318
00:19:06,001 --> 00:19:08,101
AND MAKE THEM
AS UNCOMFORTABLE
AS POSSIBLE.
319
00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,467
NOW WAIT A MINUTE.
320
00:19:11,467 --> 00:19:13,600
I HAVE
AN ALTERNATE PLAN.
321
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,767
- ZELINKA!
- OF COURSE.
322
00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:20,701
THAT EXPLAINS
WHY IT WAS SO EASY FOR THEM
TO KIDNAP THE PROFESSOR.
323
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,701
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
YOU WISH TO SAY?
324
00:19:22,701 --> 00:19:25,534
YOU'RE VERY CLEVER,
MY CHARMING LITTLE FRIEND.
325
00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:28,467
BUT NOT CLEVER ENOUGH.
326
00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,168
YOU SEE, THE MOMENT
I SUSPECTED
327
00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:32,333
THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THIS OLD SCOW,
328
00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:35,068
I IMMEDIATELY
TELEPHONED HEADQUARTERS.
329
00:19:35,068 --> 00:19:37,500
AND I HAPPEN TO KNOW
THAT AT THIS VERY MINUTE
330
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:40,834
SEVEN COASTGUARD CUTTERS
ARE CONVERGING ON THIS BOAT.
331
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:43,001
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?
SEVEN.
332
00:19:43,001 --> 00:19:45,400
I FIND THAT
PRETTY HARD TO BELIEVE.
333
00:19:47,101 --> 00:19:49,168
WOULD YOU BELIEVE SIX?
334
00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:51,101
I DON'T THINK SO.
335
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:55,701
HOW ABOUT TWO COPS
IN A ROWBOAT?
336
00:19:55,701 --> 00:19:58,068
YOU'RE STALLING,
MR. SMART.
337
00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,801
TAKE THEM BELOW.
338
00:20:02,967 --> 00:20:04,967
NO!
339
00:20:04,967 --> 00:20:07,333
ALL RIGHT, SMART,
GET YOUR HANDS UP.
340
00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:09,267
UP!
341
00:20:16,233 --> 00:20:18,168
THAT'LL HOLD YOU.
342
00:20:20,534 --> 00:20:21,967
- ARE THEY GONE?
- RIGHT.
343
00:20:23,701 --> 00:20:26,967
WELL, CHIEF WAS RIGHT
ABOUT THE INFLATO-COAT.
344
00:20:26,967 --> 00:20:30,300
NOW, THEY'VE GOT
PROFESSOR DANTE TIED UP
IN THE OTHER ROOM.
345
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,400
- SO HERE'S WHAT WE'LL DO--
- ( machine whirring )
346
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,134
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT'S THAT?
347
00:20:34,134 --> 00:20:36,867
THEY MUST BE
WARMING UP THE INTHERMO.
348
00:20:38,434 --> 00:20:40,934
- SO THAT'S THEIR TARGET!
- WHAT?
349
00:20:40,934 --> 00:20:43,534
MISS LIBERTY HERSELF.
350
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:46,200
OKAY, 99,
HERE'S THE PLAN.
351
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,267
I'LL UNTIE FANG
AND RELEASE THE PROFESSOR.
352
00:20:48,267 --> 00:20:50,200
YOU KNOCK OVER THE GUARD
AND TAKE HIS GUN.
353
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,101
RIGHT.
MAX!
354
00:20:53,101 --> 00:20:55,667
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT
I'M SO GOOD AT KNOTS.
355
00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:01,901
EXCELLENT.WE'RE RIGHT ON TARGET.
356
00:21:28,134 --> 00:21:31,333
SMART'S ESCAPED!
357
00:21:37,367 --> 00:21:39,300
- ( clicks )
- IT'S JAMMED.
358
00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:44,767
OKAY, PROFESSOR,
NOW LET'S DEACTIVATE
THAT INTHERMO.
359
00:21:44,767 --> 00:21:46,934
GET SMART, YOU FOOLS!
360
00:22:28,767 --> 00:22:31,233
HELP!
MAXWELL, HELP!
361
00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:37,434
MAX, LOOK OUT!
362
00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:47,767
DID YOU DEACTIVATE
THE INTHERMO?
363
00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:51,034
WELL, I COULDN'T DO IT.
YOU SEE, THE NUCLEAR POWER
WAS FROZEN.
364
00:22:51,034 --> 00:22:53,434
I'VE GOT TO STOP
THAT MADMAN.
365
00:22:53,434 --> 00:22:54,834
NO NO NO NO.
366
00:22:54,834 --> 00:22:56,834
WHEN I COULD NOT
DEACTIVATE IT,
367
00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:59,233
I REVERSED IT
TO SELF-DESTRUCTION,
368
00:22:59,233 --> 00:23:01,068
SO WHEN THE MAN
WOULD PRESS THE BUTTON,
369
00:23:01,068 --> 00:23:03,834
THIS SHIP WOULD BECOME
ONE BIG BLAZING INFERNO!
370
00:23:03,834 --> 00:23:05,967
AH!THAT'S WHAT
I MEANT TO CALL IT--
371
00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:08,134
DANTE'S INFERNO!
372
00:23:08,134 --> 00:23:09,934
- CAN YOU SWIM,
PROFESSOR?
- NO,
373
00:23:09,934 --> 00:23:13,667
BUT I AM FAMILIAR
WITH ARCHIMEDES' PRINCIPLE
OF DISPLACEMENT OF WATER
374
00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:15,168
IN WHICH--
375
00:23:16,767 --> 00:23:18,701
COME ON, FANG!
376
00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:38,701
WELL, THAT'S THE END
OF MR. BIG.
377
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:42,634
IF ONLY HE COULD HAVE
TURNED HIS EVIL GENIUS
378
00:23:42,634 --> 00:23:45,233
INTO... NICENESS.
379
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,534
WELL, I'D BETTER
LET THE CHIEF KNOW.
380
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,267
SMART HERE,
381
00:24:03,267 --> 00:24:05,267
MAXWELL SMART.
382
00:24:05,267 --> 00:24:06,934
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
383
00:24:06,934 --> 00:24:11,001
PROFESSOR DANTE RESCUED,
KAOS DESTROYED.
384
00:24:11,001 --> 00:24:13,068
AND I TAKE GREAT
PRIDE IN SAYING
385
00:24:13,068 --> 00:24:16,233
THAT THE FORCES OF EVIL
HAVE ONCE AGAIN
BEEN FOILED
386
00:24:16,233 --> 00:24:19,068
IN THEIR ATTEMPT
TO EXTINGUISH THE TORCH
OF LIBERTY.
387
00:24:20,901 --> 00:24:23,500
WHAT?
388
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:25,434
OH, SORRY.
389
00:24:26,767 --> 00:24:29,101
WRONG NUMBER.
390
00:24:34,901 --> 00:24:37,101
( theme music playing )27850
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