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2
00:00:30,829 --> 00:00:32,396
You know,
3
00:00:32,398 --> 00:00:35,565
you go out with a girl and
sometimes it works out,
4
00:00:35,567 --> 00:00:37,501
you go out again.
5
00:00:37,503 --> 00:00:40,173
Sometimes it doesn't
and you move on.
6
00:00:41,439 --> 00:00:43,806
But if you just
hook up for a night,
7
00:00:43,808 --> 00:00:45,310
it's not a date.
8
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:47,937
Hey, you going out?
9
00:01:47,939 --> 00:01:49,273
Tom is it?
10
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,273
Didn't work out.
11
00:01:50,275 --> 00:01:51,374
This one's a Max.
12
00:01:51,376 --> 00:01:52,341
Max?
13
00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:53,677
The bastard never showed.
14
00:01:53,679 --> 00:01:54,645
Josh?
15
00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:55,546
Jonathan.
16
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:56,847
Seeing Jonathan again?
17
00:01:56,849 --> 00:01:57,713
Bruce.
18
00:01:57,715 --> 00:01:58,848
What does Bruce do?
19
00:01:58,850 --> 00:02:00,449
He's an interior decorator.
20
00:02:00,451 --> 00:02:01,385
He's not gay?
21
00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:02,785
I don't think he's gay.
22
00:02:13,498 --> 00:02:14,665
Where are you going?
23
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,399
I'm meeting someone.
24
00:02:16,401 --> 00:02:17,300
Is it a date?
25
00:02:17,302 --> 00:02:18,802
No, it's not a date.
26
00:02:18,804 --> 00:02:19,970
Who are you meeting?
27
00:02:19,972 --> 00:02:21,505
Tom I think.
28
00:02:21,507 --> 00:02:22,673
You don't know?
29
00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:23,806
Pretty sure.
30
00:02:23,808 --> 00:02:24,941
And?
31
00:02:24,943 --> 00:02:29,312
And he's six foot,
curly brown hair,
32
00:02:29,314 --> 00:02:30,780
has a masters from UCLA
33
00:02:30,782 --> 00:02:33,216
and works for a financial
services company.
34
00:02:33,218 --> 00:02:34,351
At least that's what
his profile says.
35
00:02:34,353 --> 00:02:35,818
Are you dating
him or hiring him?
36
00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:37,887
It's not a "date" date.
37
00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:40,423
So where did you meet this
Tom or whatever his name is?
38
00:02:40,425 --> 00:02:41,591
I haven't met him yet.
39
00:02:41,593 --> 00:02:42,959
I'm going to meet him now.
40
00:02:42,961 --> 00:02:44,460
You don't know
who you're meeting?
41
00:02:44,462 --> 00:02:45,629
It's some guy I met online.
42
00:02:45,631 --> 00:02:47,631
So, he could be
Tom the ax murderer.
43
00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:49,966
Yes, dad, he could
be Tom the ax murderer.
44
00:02:49,968 --> 00:02:51,868
But we're gonna meet
in a public place
45
00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:53,536
and if he walks
in carrying an ax,
46
00:02:53,538 --> 00:02:55,705
I promise I'll just
excuse myself and leave.
47
00:02:55,707 --> 00:02:57,374
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
48
00:02:57,376 --> 00:02:58,574
What?
49
00:02:58,576 --> 00:02:59,711
Too much blush.
50
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:02,446
Are you wearing underwear?
51
00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:03,780
Yes, I'm wearing underwear!
52
00:03:03,782 --> 00:03:04,982
I'm glad you're
wearing underwear.
53
00:03:04,984 --> 00:03:05,848
Be careful.
54
00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:07,717
Dad, I'm not stupid.
55
00:03:07,719 --> 00:03:08,852
We're meeting for coffee.
56
00:03:08,854 --> 00:03:09,786
Just to talk.
57
00:03:09,788 --> 00:03:10,620
It is a date.
58
00:03:10,622 --> 00:03:11,854
No, it's not a date.
59
00:03:11,856 --> 00:03:13,590
It's a good idea when you meet
people online
60
00:03:13,592 --> 00:03:14,590
to meet them in a public place
61
00:03:14,592 --> 00:03:15,792
to get to know them first.
62
00:03:15,794 --> 00:03:17,594
And make sure they're
not going to kill you.
63
00:03:17,596 --> 00:03:18,561
That too.
64
00:03:18,563 --> 00:03:19,696
Bye.
65
00:03:19,698 --> 00:03:21,264
You've been doing
this a lot lately.
66
00:03:21,266 --> 00:03:24,534
It's just how people meet
nowadays, online, websites.
67
00:03:24,536 --> 00:03:26,502
Did you like that boy that
Aunt Cindy set you up with?
68
00:03:26,504 --> 00:03:27,738
No.
69
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:28,537
The one who just
graduated from Northwestern.
70
00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:29,472
No!
71
00:03:29,474 --> 00:03:30,673
No one you or your friends
72
00:03:30,675 --> 00:03:32,875
will ever set me up
with will ever work out.
73
00:03:32,877 --> 00:03:34,578
What kind of attitude is that?
74
00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:35,478
I'm sorry.
75
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:36,812
It's just a fact of life.
76
00:03:36,814 --> 00:03:39,583
Nowadays a mother's match
a match made in hell.
77
00:03:39,585 --> 00:03:42,886
It works for the Indians,
Muslims, the orthodox Jews.
78
00:03:42,888 --> 00:03:44,020
Fine.
79
00:03:44,022 --> 00:03:48,324
Find me a Muslim,
Indian Jew and I am in.
80
00:03:48,326 --> 00:03:50,960
In the meantime, Mom,
let me find my own dates.
81
00:03:50,962 --> 00:03:52,596
Hey, babe, do
you need any money?
82
00:03:52,598 --> 00:03:53,864
Dad, I'm a nurse.
83
00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:54,697
I work.
84
00:03:54,699 --> 00:03:55,565
Okay, it's habit.
85
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:56,600
Go. Go have a good time.
86
00:03:56,602 --> 00:03:57,466
Thank you.
87
00:03:57,468 --> 00:03:58,368
What's his name again?
88
00:03:58,370 --> 00:03:59,435
Tom.
89
00:03:59,437 --> 00:04:00,070
Tom.
90
00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:01,037
Six foot, brown hair,
91
00:04:01,039 --> 00:04:02,873
with a college degree from UCLA.
92
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,041
Good.
93
00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:06,743
I want to be able to
give the cops a good ID.
94
00:04:06,745 --> 00:04:07,943
You are not funny.
95
00:04:07,945 --> 00:04:09,382
I am funny.
96
00:04:11,483 --> 00:04:12,916
Call us for any problems
97
00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:15,584
and Joe the handyman
for all emergencies.
98
00:04:15,586 --> 00:04:16,553
I can handle it.
99
00:04:16,555 --> 00:04:17,788
Go. Have a good time.
100
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:18,855
Do you have the tickets.
101
00:04:18,857 --> 00:04:19,723
I have the tickets.
102
00:04:19,725 --> 00:04:20,656
Let me see them.
103
00:04:20,658 --> 00:04:21,791
I have the tickets.
104
00:04:21,793 --> 00:04:23,093
Are they in your
bag or your pocket?
105
00:04:23,095 --> 00:04:25,361
Mom, he has the tickets.
106
00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:27,029
Now you have the tickets.
107
00:04:27,031 --> 00:04:28,531
Go. Have a good time.
108
00:04:28,533 --> 00:04:29,502
Get out of here.
109
00:04:32,771 --> 00:04:34,941
Bye guys.
110
00:05:31,129 --> 00:05:31,928
What?
111
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:39,603
Oh, one second.
112
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:40,437
Hey.
113
00:05:40,439 --> 00:05:41,738
Hey, how's it going?
114
00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:42,938
You're really good.
115
00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:43,906
Thank you.
116
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,010
I'm Carly.
117
00:05:46,144 --> 00:05:47,512
Steve.
118
00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:50,113
Nice to meet you.
119
00:05:50,115 --> 00:05:51,481
Pleasure.
120
00:05:59,891 --> 00:06:01,024
Be careful.
121
00:06:01,026 --> 00:06:02,127
I don't want to
break the statue.
122
00:06:07,899 --> 00:06:08,832
Oh!
123
00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:10,433
Sorry.
124
00:06:10,435 --> 00:06:15,105
Are you okay?
125
00:06:15,107 --> 00:06:16,940
Think I have a concussion?
126
00:06:16,942 --> 00:06:18,942
You have a little bump.
127
00:06:18,944 --> 00:06:20,142
You want something to drink?
128
00:06:20,144 --> 00:06:21,144
Wine?
129
00:06:21,146 --> 00:06:22,646
Wine puts me to sleep.
130
00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,613
And I don't know if I'm
going to be up late.
131
00:06:24,615 --> 00:06:26,882
Am I going to be up late?
132
00:06:26,884 --> 00:06:28,521
I'll make coffee.
133
00:06:30,755 --> 00:06:31,855
So is this your place?
134
00:06:31,857 --> 00:06:32,822
My parents'.
135
00:06:32,824 --> 00:06:33,990
Are they out for the night?
136
00:06:33,992 --> 00:06:36,026
They're away for
a couple of days.
137
00:06:36,028 --> 00:06:37,026
Vegas.
138
00:06:37,028 --> 00:06:38,163
They like Vegas.
139
00:06:40,598 --> 00:06:42,031
Do you wanna smoke?
140
00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:43,403
Sure.
141
00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:50,207
Your parents don't
mind that you keep
142
00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:51,541
your weed out in the open?
143
00:06:51,543 --> 00:06:53,510
It's their weed.
144
00:06:53,512 --> 00:06:55,581
They really like these mini J's.
145
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:10,493
I should warn you in advance.
146
00:07:10,495 --> 00:07:12,695
I get very existential
when I smoke.
147
00:07:12,697 --> 00:07:14,063
Like how?
148
00:07:14,065 --> 00:07:15,966
Like I realize the
true meaning of life
149
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:18,000
but I can never
remember what it was.
150
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:19,769
So, if I say anything
brilliant, write it down.
151
00:07:19,771 --> 00:07:22,538
So, tell me, Steve,
152
00:07:22,540 --> 00:07:24,476
what else don't
I know about you?
153
00:07:33,985 --> 00:07:36,122
Well, I know you can kiss.
154
00:07:37,755 --> 00:07:39,589
And you're a good dancer.
155
00:07:39,591 --> 00:07:43,526
But I don't know
much else about you.
156
00:07:43,528 --> 00:07:45,995
What exactly would
you like to know?
157
00:07:45,997 --> 00:07:48,598
How did you end
up in California?
158
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,599
I got a full ride to
Stanford and I stayed.
159
00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:52,569
So, you're smart.
160
00:07:52,571 --> 00:07:56,209
I'm not Einstein
but smart enough.
161
00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:59,175
I mean smart enough to work
at an internet start-up
162
00:07:59,177 --> 00:08:01,176
but not smart enough yet to
make my own ideas happen.
163
00:08:01,178 --> 00:08:02,178
But they'll happen.
164
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:03,546
What kind of ideas?
165
00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:05,748
Apps and stuff.
166
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,586
Yeah, apps and stuff.
167
00:08:09,754 --> 00:08:11,654
Are you sure we
haven't met before.
168
00:08:11,656 --> 00:08:13,526
At a party or some event?
169
00:08:16,161 --> 00:08:17,530
I don't think so.
170
00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:21,298
And anyway, I remember feet.
171
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,166
They're the sexiest
part of a woman's body.
172
00:08:23,168 --> 00:08:26,271
Well, in the top four anyway.
173
00:08:27,639 --> 00:08:29,171
You dress them up in sexy shoes.
174
00:08:29,173 --> 00:08:32,709
They're the beginning of
where a man wants to end.
175
00:08:32,711 --> 00:08:33,709
And they're the
first part of a woman
176
00:08:33,711 --> 00:08:35,114
that she'll give up freely.
177
00:08:36,815 --> 00:08:38,915
Sounds like a fetish to me.
178
00:08:38,917 --> 00:08:40,052
There are worse ones.
179
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,052
So, how about you?
Do you like nursing?
180
00:08:43,054 --> 00:08:45,321
Oh, I love nursing.
181
00:08:45,323 --> 00:08:47,791
Lot of blood and stuff?
182
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:50,259
Well, you get to help people.
183
00:08:50,261 --> 00:08:51,761
You give shots?
184
00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,028
Yeah.
185
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:53,930
Needles.
186
00:08:53,932 --> 00:08:55,065
I hate needles.
187
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:58,200
Well,
what do you love?
188
00:08:58,202 --> 00:09:00,203
I don't know about love.
189
00:09:00,205 --> 00:09:01,237
Oh, come on.
190
00:09:01,239 --> 00:09:02,272
You must love something.
191
00:09:02,274 --> 00:09:03,806
The word's over-hyped.
192
00:09:03,808 --> 00:09:05,007
Okay, fine.
193
00:09:05,009 --> 00:09:06,209
Skip love.
194
00:09:06,211 --> 00:09:08,177
What do you like?
195
00:09:08,179 --> 00:09:13,148
Like, love, work, fuck.
196
00:09:13,150 --> 00:09:14,850
They're all dirty
four letter words.
197
00:09:14,852 --> 00:09:18,387
I'm more of a
metaphysical kind of guy.
198
00:09:18,389 --> 00:09:20,223
Metaphysical?
199
00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:23,926
Well, maybe I meant physical.
200
00:09:23,928 --> 00:09:27,198
Come on,
what do you like?
201
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,232
What do you like?
202
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:31,901
I like
203
00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:34,970
mojitos and Frieda Kahlo.
204
00:09:34,972 --> 00:09:36,973
Single malt and Stan Lee.
205
00:09:36,975 --> 00:09:38,642
Chicago deep dish.
206
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:39,709
Pineapple.
207
00:09:39,711 --> 00:09:40,977
Tennis.
208
00:09:40,979 --> 00:09:42,212
Angry Birds.
209
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,113
There you go.
210
00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:44,680
You do have likes.
211
00:09:44,682 --> 00:09:46,416
Its not about what you
like or love in this life.
212
00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:49,986
It's about what you want
and how you're gonna get it.
213
00:09:49,988 --> 00:09:51,123
What do you want?
214
00:09:59,063 --> 00:10:00,829
You are fast.
215
00:10:00,831 --> 00:10:02,134
I can go slow when it counts.
216
00:10:04,135 --> 00:10:06,969
Do you have a Jimmy hat?
217
00:10:06,971 --> 00:10:08,371
A what?
218
00:10:08,373 --> 00:10:09,906
A condom. Protection.
219
00:10:09,908 --> 00:10:10,906
Whatever.
220
00:10:10,908 --> 00:10:12,242
A Jimmy hat?
221
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:13,946
Shut up!
222
00:10:14,879 --> 00:10:15,778
It won't feel as good.
223
00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:18,013
And anyway, I trust you.
224
00:10:18,015 --> 00:10:20,849
Look, I'd like to fuck you.
225
00:10:20,851 --> 00:10:21,950
I wanna fuck you.
226
00:10:21,952 --> 00:10:23,085
But I'm not...
227
00:10:23,087 --> 00:10:24,387
I'm pulling out
before I get there.
228
00:10:24,389 --> 00:10:25,921
What?
229
00:10:25,923 --> 00:10:28,223
Did you miss high school sex ed?
230
00:10:28,225 --> 00:10:30,160
You want me to
go out and get one?
231
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:31,795
No I have one upstairs.
232
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:32,999
Come on.
233
00:10:37,168 --> 00:10:40,103
I really hate to have
to be the pussy police.
234
00:10:40,105 --> 00:10:42,305
I don't feel good
about it either.
235
00:10:42,307 --> 00:10:45,177
And I certainly don't want
to get Mr. Jimmy in trouble.
236
00:10:46,043 --> 00:10:47,879
But I promise I'll
make it up to you.
237
00:12:31,883 --> 00:12:33,416
What time is it?
238
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:34,820
You have some place to go?
239
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,188
No.
240
00:12:39,557 --> 00:12:41,293
Come on back to bed.
241
00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:44,026
How long have your beard?
242
00:12:44,028 --> 00:12:45,427
I don't know.
243
00:12:45,429 --> 00:12:46,896
Years.
244
00:12:46,898 --> 00:12:48,297
Not more than two.
245
00:12:48,299 --> 00:12:49,866
What makes you think that?
246
00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:52,167
Your driver's license fell
out of your pants' pocket.
247
00:12:52,169 --> 00:12:55,204
Your name is Milo
Daily, not Steve.
248
00:12:55,206 --> 00:12:56,940
Steve is my middle name.
249
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:59,144
You didn't have that beard
when we met two years ago.
250
00:13:01,879 --> 00:13:03,345
We've met before?
251
00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:04,513
Yeah.
252
00:13:04,515 --> 00:13:06,549
I met the beardless
dude that's on your ID.
253
00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:07,983
And I don't think you
told me your name was
254
00:13:07,985 --> 00:13:10,252
Steve or Milo then.
255
00:13:10,254 --> 00:13:13,989
Okay, I gave you a phony name.
256
00:13:13,991 --> 00:13:17,292
But that's all and
I'm sorry about that.
257
00:13:17,294 --> 00:13:19,896
But I've run into some
fucked up bitches before.
258
00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:21,864
Not you!
259
00:13:21,866 --> 00:13:23,266
But sometimes you
sleep with a girl once
260
00:13:23,268 --> 00:13:25,535
and she can get a little nutsy.
261
00:13:25,537 --> 00:13:29,238
But hey, I like you.
262
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,576
Like, love, work, fuck.
263
00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:34,944
What else is a lie?
264
00:13:34,946 --> 00:13:35,578
You want me to go?
265
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:36,949
What else?!
266
00:13:41,219 --> 00:13:42,218
I'm not from Indiana.
267
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:43,518
I grew up in Sherman Oaks.
268
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,054
Stanford.
269
00:13:45,056 --> 00:13:46,222
Cal State.
270
00:13:46,224 --> 00:13:47,223
Computer wiz?
271
00:13:47,225 --> 00:13:48,394
I'm a baker.
272
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,994
Look, would I be
lying in your bed
273
00:13:51,996 --> 00:13:54,998
if you knew I was a baker
and wore a hair net all day,
274
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,666
and didn't make six figures.
275
00:13:57,668 --> 00:13:58,600
Maybe.
276
00:13:58,602 --> 00:13:59,971
Bullshit.
277
00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,372
But, come on, does
that really matter?
278
00:14:02,374 --> 00:14:04,576
I mean, we had a good time
last night, didn't we?
279
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:08,645
I am surprised you
don't remember me.
280
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:11,079
But I guess to you,
all pussies look alike.
281
00:14:11,081 --> 00:14:12,248
What the hell are
you talking about?
282
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,584
We fucked a couple
of times two years ago.
283
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:15,685
I really don't
think that was me.
284
00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:17,152
Yeah, it was.
285
00:14:17,154 --> 00:14:19,522
My friend, Margie, introduced
us at a pool party.
286
00:14:19,524 --> 00:14:21,257
We hooked up in her bathroom.
287
00:14:21,259 --> 00:14:22,358
You asked me out
the next weekend
288
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,060
and we went back to your place.
289
00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:25,494
I remember the dinner date.
290
00:14:25,496 --> 00:14:26,662
There was none.
291
00:14:26,664 --> 00:14:28,031
Take out at your place.
292
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,666
Fucking was our
evening entertainment.
293
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:31,367
And then you disappeared.
294
00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:33,368
Not so much as a text, a call,
295
00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:34,671
a "sorry, we didn't click".
296
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:35,704
Nada!
297
00:14:35,706 --> 00:14:36,571
I swear.
298
00:14:36,573 --> 00:14:37,507
I don't remember.
299
00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:38,878
No?
300
00:14:39,677 --> 00:14:41,344
Maybe your hair was different?
301
00:14:41,346 --> 00:14:42,578
No.
302
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:43,445
Did you lose weight?
303
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:44,180
No!
304
00:14:44,182 --> 00:14:44,680
Gain weight?
305
00:14:44,682 --> 00:14:46,114
Fuck you!
306
00:14:46,116 --> 00:14:48,951
Hey! That was then, I
guess, and this is now.
307
00:14:48,953 --> 00:14:50,719
And I bet you
enjoyed then and now.
308
00:14:50,721 --> 00:14:52,588
I had no complaints then,
309
00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:54,357
until about a week
later when I started
310
00:14:54,359 --> 00:14:55,992
smelling like a wet dog.
311
00:14:55,994 --> 00:14:57,326
You gave me an STD.
312
00:14:57,328 --> 00:14:58,294
All right.
313
00:14:58,296 --> 00:14:59,094
It couldn't have been me, I...
314
00:14:59,096 --> 00:15:00,530
It was you!
315
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:03,031
Do you know how much a pain in
the ass it is to get treated?
316
00:15:03,033 --> 00:15:04,334
Have you been treated?
317
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:05,701
Or are you still out
there spreading the cheer?
318
00:15:05,703 --> 00:15:07,302
It wasn't me.
319
00:15:07,304 --> 00:15:08,470
Really, it wasn't.
320
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,073
I really enjoyed last night.
321
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,044
I thought we clicked.
322
00:15:13,378 --> 00:15:16,378
In fact I had plans
for a second date.
323
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:17,446
Plans.
324
00:15:17,448 --> 00:15:18,583
What kind of plans?
325
00:15:20,118 --> 00:15:21,283
Perversions.
326
00:15:21,285 --> 00:15:23,386
No, look, I'm kidding.
327
00:15:23,388 --> 00:15:25,454
I'm not a bad guy.
328
00:15:25,456 --> 00:15:27,156
You're looking for a
serious relationship,
329
00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:30,193
I'm looking for a
serious relationship.
330
00:15:30,195 --> 00:15:33,628
And I'm sorry about the name.
331
00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:34,763
But come on, it's gonna take
332
00:15:34,765 --> 00:15:37,201
more than one night of cuddling.
333
00:15:39,037 --> 00:15:40,239
Come on.
334
00:15:46,144 --> 00:15:47,613
It wasn't me.
335
00:15:49,246 --> 00:15:50,248
Okay.
336
00:15:51,649 --> 00:15:53,416
We'll forget this ever happened.
337
00:15:53,418 --> 00:15:55,084
We'll start over.
338
00:15:55,086 --> 00:15:56,455
Perfect.
339
00:15:57,154 --> 00:15:59,625
Why don't you grab another
Jimmy hat from the drawer.
340
00:16:07,365 --> 00:16:08,164
Aw!
341
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,368
What the fuck?
342
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:11,666
What was the fuck was that?
343
00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:12,502
Antibiotics.
344
00:16:12,504 --> 00:16:13,770
You're fucking crazy.
345
00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:15,438
I'm going to put this
on my Facebook page
346
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,607
with the heading
"scum of the earth".
347
00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:18,574
Really? You're fucked up.
348
00:16:18,576 --> 00:16:20,376
You know that.
349
00:16:20,378 --> 00:16:22,348
I am out of here.
350
00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:26,549
You're insane.
351
00:16:26,551 --> 00:16:28,117
Should I expect your call?
352
00:16:28,119 --> 00:16:29,685
Or maybe we can double date?
353
00:16:29,687 --> 00:16:31,657
Chlamydia, gonorrhea,
you and me.
354
00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:34,723
Just stay away from me, okay?
355
00:16:34,725 --> 00:16:36,825
And you wonder why guys don't
wanna be upfront with you.
356
00:16:36,827 --> 00:16:38,393
And I'm not driving you back.
357
00:16:38,395 --> 00:16:40,128
You can walk or
you can take a cab.
358
00:16:40,130 --> 00:16:40,762
I don't care.
359
00:16:40,764 --> 00:16:41,464
Fuck you!
360
00:16:41,466 --> 00:16:42,397
Fuck you!
361
00:16:42,399 --> 00:16:45,767
Very mature.
362
00:16:45,769 --> 00:16:47,270
I need something to drink.
363
00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:48,271
Just get out of here.
364
00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:49,338
Give me something to drink.
365
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:50,475
Just go.
366
00:16:52,409 --> 00:16:53,644
I need some water.
367
00:16:57,448 --> 00:16:59,549
Regular or sparkling?
368
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:00,686
Just water.
369
00:17:10,528 --> 00:17:12,161
Oh, shit!
370
00:17:12,163 --> 00:17:13,228
My tongue.
371
00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:14,630
My tongue is swelling up.
372
00:17:14,632 --> 00:17:15,664
Let me see.
373
00:17:15,666 --> 00:17:16,665
Are you allergic to anything?
374
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:17,699
No!
375
00:17:17,701 --> 00:17:19,404
What the fuck did you give me?
376
00:17:22,373 --> 00:17:24,172
911.
377
00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:25,711
Call 911.
378
00:17:27,144 --> 00:17:28,413
Calm down.
379
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,241
Shit!
380
00:18:25,869 --> 00:18:27,402
Shit!
381
00:18:27,404 --> 00:18:28,807
Shit! Shit!
382
00:18:45,656 --> 00:18:47,525
Fucker, don't die on me!
383
00:18:51,261 --> 00:18:52,628
This is
the Sagat residence,
384
00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:55,297
home of Bill, Laurie and,
on occasion, Carly Sagat.
385
00:18:55,299 --> 00:18:57,632
Please leave a
message at the beep.
386
00:18:57,634 --> 00:18:59,735
Carly,
this is your mother.
387
00:18:59,737 --> 00:19:01,603
Don't forget to walk Max.
388
00:19:01,605 --> 00:19:02,805
And put the dishes away.
389
00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:04,940
Don't let the house
turn into a pigsty.
390
00:19:04,942 --> 00:19:06,609
We're having a nice time.
391
00:19:06,611 --> 00:19:08,944
Your father took me
to a show last night.
392
00:19:08,946 --> 00:19:10,580
The Blue Man.
393
00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:12,547
I didn't get it but
it was very good.
394
00:19:12,549 --> 00:19:13,815
Hey,
give me the phone.
395
00:19:13,817 --> 00:19:16,952
Princess, don't bring men over.
396
00:19:16,954 --> 00:19:19,322
Have them take you out.
397
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:21,423
All right, we'll
call again later.
398
00:19:21,425 --> 00:19:22,424
- Have a nice time.
- Dad.
399
00:19:22,426 --> 00:19:23,692
Dad, it's not my fault
400
00:19:23,694 --> 00:19:25,696
but something's happened and I,
401
00:19:26,631 --> 00:19:27,930
I can't talk right now.
402
00:19:27,932 --> 00:19:29,599
Yeah, I have a friend over.
403
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:30,732
Just a friend.
404
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:31,667
Yeah, I gotta go.
405
00:19:31,669 --> 00:19:32,802
Something just spilled.
406
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:34,737
All right, I'll
talk to you later.
407
00:19:35,673 --> 00:19:37,305
It's okay.
408
00:19:37,307 --> 00:19:38,807
It's gonna be okay.
409
00:19:38,809 --> 00:19:40,442
You bitch.
410
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,259
What the fuck?
411
00:20:33,597 --> 00:20:34,932
What the hell is going on?
412
00:20:37,501 --> 00:20:39,367
Let me out of this.
413
00:20:39,369 --> 00:20:40,304
I can't.
414
00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:43,942
Are you kidding me?!
415
00:20:46,644 --> 00:20:47,876
Help!
416
00:20:47,878 --> 00:20:49,378
Help! Anybody help!
417
00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:50,513
I'm upstairs.
418
00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:51,980
Look, you can
yell all you want.
419
00:20:51,982 --> 00:20:53,615
But nobody's going to hear you.
420
00:20:53,617 --> 00:20:55,017
This house has great insulation
421
00:20:55,019 --> 00:20:56,384
and the windows
are double panned.
422
00:20:56,386 --> 00:20:58,421
So, if you want to
yell, be my guest.
423
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,655
I'll just go downstairs
until you wear yourself out.
424
00:21:00,657 --> 00:21:02,357
Wait a minute. Wait a...
425
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:03,859
This is all 'cause
I may have given you
426
00:21:03,861 --> 00:21:04,860
herpes or something?
427
00:21:04,862 --> 00:21:05,964
No!
428
00:21:09,599 --> 00:21:10,999
Yes.
429
00:21:11,001 --> 00:21:12,468
Yes, I was pissed.
430
00:21:12,470 --> 00:21:13,869
But I just gave
you an antibiotic
431
00:21:13,871 --> 00:21:15,103
to cure all your genital bugs.
432
00:21:15,105 --> 00:21:16,471
That is all.
433
00:21:16,473 --> 00:21:17,405
You tried to kill me!
434
00:21:17,407 --> 00:21:19,374
No, I didn't!
435
00:21:19,376 --> 00:21:20,875
You had an allergic reaction.
436
00:21:20,877 --> 00:21:22,944
How was I supposed to know that?
437
00:21:22,946 --> 00:21:24,013
You're lucky I'm a nurse.
438
00:21:24,015 --> 00:21:26,047
I saved your life.
439
00:21:26,049 --> 00:21:27,949
Oh, you deserve a medal.
440
00:21:27,951 --> 00:21:29,451
I'll call TIME.
441
00:21:29,453 --> 00:21:30,486
Have them put you on the cover.
442
00:21:30,488 --> 00:21:31,722
Now, let me go.
443
00:21:33,924 --> 00:21:35,757
I want you to know,
444
00:21:35,759 --> 00:21:37,892
I'm a really good person.
445
00:21:37,894 --> 00:21:39,428
I've never hurt
anybody in my life.
446
00:21:39,430 --> 00:21:41,697
If have made any mistakes,
447
00:21:41,699 --> 00:21:44,033
it's been my choice in men.
448
00:21:44,035 --> 00:21:46,102
But it's not so easy now.
449
00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:47,803
No, it is easy.
450
00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:49,904
Just cut me loose.
451
00:21:49,906 --> 00:21:51,474
We'll forget all about this.
452
00:21:51,476 --> 00:21:53,476
We pretend we've never met.
453
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:56,045
I would love to pretend
that we have never met!
454
00:21:56,047 --> 00:21:57,880
Then I have to trust you.
455
00:21:57,882 --> 00:21:59,481
And knowing you, I don't.
456
00:21:59,483 --> 00:22:00,548
What the fuck do
you want from me?
457
00:22:00,550 --> 00:22:01,852
Where are you going with this?
458
00:22:02,987 --> 00:22:04,920
I gave you medication.
459
00:22:04,922 --> 00:22:07,123
I caused you an injury.
460
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:08,690
That's malpractice.
461
00:22:08,692 --> 00:22:12,530
And now, I guess,
I've kidnapped you.
462
00:22:13,730 --> 00:22:15,029
But I don't want to
lose my nursing license.
463
00:22:15,031 --> 00:22:17,535
And I don't wanna go to jail.
464
00:22:19,002 --> 00:22:21,504
I know I fucked up.
465
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:22,673
I know.
466
00:22:24,541 --> 00:22:26,711
I just need time to
think this all out.
467
00:22:29,413 --> 00:22:31,613
Figure this out. What
is there to figure?
468
00:22:31,615 --> 00:22:33,582
Oh, this is nonsense.
469
00:22:33,584 --> 00:22:35,151
I mean, I've have had some
fucked up dates before
470
00:22:35,153 --> 00:22:36,084
but this is really...
471
00:22:36,086 --> 00:22:37,152
I'm the bad date?
472
00:22:37,154 --> 00:22:39,587
I'm the fucking bad date?!
473
00:22:39,589 --> 00:22:40,523
Hey.
474
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,893
That's not what I meant.
475
00:22:43,627 --> 00:22:45,529
Well, okay maybe that's
what I meant but...
476
00:22:49,733 --> 00:22:50,968
...I need to pee.
477
00:23:01,045 --> 00:23:02,644
Whoa! What are you doing?
478
00:23:02,646 --> 00:23:04,046
I'm gonna help you pee.
479
00:23:04,048 --> 00:23:06,614
I can't pee sitting down
with you holding my dick.
480
00:23:06,616 --> 00:23:08,017
Let me stand up and go.
481
00:23:08,019 --> 00:23:09,552
Well, just try.
482
00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:13,055
I can't think about peeing
with you holding my dick.
483
00:23:13,057 --> 00:23:14,923
I'm a nurse.
484
00:23:14,925 --> 00:23:17,795
Yeah, I know you're a nurse.
485
00:23:20,096 --> 00:23:21,732
In fact you look
pretty hot in scrubs.
486
00:23:22,834 --> 00:23:24,732
I'm just thinking we
forget about all this.
487
00:23:24,734 --> 00:23:27,702
You know, you take your
clothes off, I take mine
488
00:23:27,704 --> 00:23:29,604
and we start off
where we left off.
489
00:23:29,606 --> 00:23:32,844
Everything else is
forgotten and forgiven.
490
00:23:35,613 --> 00:23:37,015
Let me get this straight.
491
00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:40,552
You fucked me.
492
00:23:41,652 --> 00:23:42,953
I fucked you up.
493
00:23:43,921 --> 00:23:46,154
And now you want
to fuck me again.
494
00:23:46,156 --> 00:23:47,591
Sounds like a plan.
495
00:23:49,527 --> 00:23:50,793
Milo, Milo.
496
00:23:50,795 --> 00:23:51,962
Milo.
497
00:23:53,597 --> 00:23:55,567
What am I going to do with you?
498
00:23:59,036 --> 00:24:00,169
Aw!
499
00:24:00,171 --> 00:24:02,505
What do you call it?
500
00:24:02,507 --> 00:24:04,539
Mr. Johnson?
501
00:24:04,541 --> 00:24:06,074
Mr. Knish.
502
00:24:06,076 --> 00:24:08,244
Your baloney poney.
503
00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:09,511
Cum Gun?
504
00:24:09,513 --> 00:24:11,646
Your one-eyed trouser snake?
505
00:24:11,648 --> 00:24:15,183
You think it can magically
get you in and out of places.
506
00:24:15,185 --> 00:24:16,785
But it can't.
507
00:24:16,787 --> 00:24:18,120
It's not a gun.
508
00:24:18,122 --> 00:24:19,955
Bang! Bang!
509
00:24:19,957 --> 00:24:22,757
You can't wave it like a flag.
510
00:24:22,759 --> 00:24:24,727
It's not sharp enough
to cut you loose.
511
00:24:24,729 --> 00:24:27,766
And I bet, if I wanted,
512
00:24:29,066 --> 00:24:31,001
I could make it big.
513
00:24:32,936 --> 00:24:34,036
Yeah.
514
00:24:34,038 --> 00:24:36,037
But right now, Milo,
515
00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:37,875
I bet you can't get it up.
516
00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:43,114
All you can do with
this thing now is pee.
517
00:24:45,316 --> 00:24:47,149
Let me fuckin' out of this!
518
00:24:47,151 --> 00:24:48,284
What happened?
519
00:24:48,286 --> 00:24:50,087
A moment ago you
were romancing me.
520
00:24:52,990 --> 00:24:54,558
I really need to pee.
521
00:25:01,766 --> 00:25:02,868
All right.
522
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,933
I'm going to cut you loose.
523
00:25:04,935 --> 00:25:05,901
And you can walk to the toilet.
524
00:25:05,903 --> 00:25:08,206
But that's it, got it?
525
00:25:32,128 --> 00:25:33,261
You think you're god now
526
00:25:33,263 --> 00:25:35,266
but I'm going to
fucking kill you.
527
00:25:37,268 --> 00:25:39,234
I am god.
528
00:25:39,236 --> 00:25:40,939
The pussy god.
529
00:26:41,999 --> 00:26:44,132
Help!
530
00:26:44,134 --> 00:26:46,334
Help!
531
00:26:46,336 --> 00:26:48,804
Somebody help!
532
00:26:48,806 --> 00:26:50,738
Carly!
533
00:26:50,740 --> 00:26:52,042
Carly!
534
00:26:53,911 --> 00:26:55,180
Help!
535
00:27:10,193 --> 00:27:11,363
Carly.
536
00:27:17,801 --> 00:27:19,069
Carly.
537
00:27:33,049 --> 00:27:34,318
Carly!
538
00:27:36,319 --> 00:27:37,254
Carly!
539
00:27:44,461 --> 00:27:46,027
Carly!
540
00:28:01,010 --> 00:28:02,346
Oh.
541
00:28:09,019 --> 00:28:09,951
Max?!
542
00:28:09,953 --> 00:28:10,753
What are you doing?
543
00:28:10,755 --> 00:28:11,956
Come here.
544
00:28:14,892 --> 00:28:17,092
Didn't you her me?
545
00:28:17,094 --> 00:28:18,093
What's the matter?
546
00:28:18,095 --> 00:28:20,362
I fucking shit myself.
547
00:28:20,364 --> 00:28:22,230
Oh, my god!
548
00:28:22,232 --> 00:28:23,164
Max!
549
00:28:23,166 --> 00:28:24,466
You can't, you can't do that.
550
00:28:24,468 --> 00:28:25,933
You can't leave me like this.
551
00:28:25,935 --> 00:28:27,969
I mean, what do you want?
552
00:28:27,971 --> 00:28:30,171
I'll give you anything you want.
553
00:28:30,173 --> 00:28:31,475
I don't know what I want.
554
00:28:32,942 --> 00:28:33,875
I'm gonna clean you up.
555
00:28:33,877 --> 00:28:35,344
But look, I left your hand free
556
00:28:35,346 --> 00:28:38,780
so you could eat, drink,
scratch and change the channels.
557
00:28:38,782 --> 00:28:40,047
But if you fucking try anything,
558
00:28:40,049 --> 00:28:41,382
I'm gonna let you sit
in your shit for a week.
559
00:28:41,384 --> 00:28:42,854
Do you understand me?
560
00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:47,256
Don't be embarrassed.
561
00:28:47,258 --> 00:28:48,190
It's not your fault.
562
00:28:48,192 --> 00:28:49,357
I should have thought of this.
563
00:28:49,359 --> 00:28:51,058
I'll get you a bedpan
for the next time
564
00:28:51,060 --> 00:28:55,264
so in case you have to,
this won't be such an issue.
565
00:28:55,266 --> 00:28:57,565
Well, at least
take this thing out.
566
00:28:57,567 --> 00:28:58,967
I'm not running
up to hold your dick
567
00:28:58,969 --> 00:28:59,968
every time you need to pee.
568
00:28:59,970 --> 00:29:02,140
So for now, it'll have to stay.
569
00:29:16,487 --> 00:29:18,757
Oh, oh.
570
00:29:22,926 --> 00:29:24,895
Do you want anything
in particular for dinner?
571
00:29:26,529 --> 00:29:28,063
Are you serious?
572
00:29:28,065 --> 00:29:30,431
I can order a pizza or
I can make you beef stew.
573
00:29:30,433 --> 00:29:31,566
I'm a really good cook.
574
00:29:31,568 --> 00:29:32,534
What would you like?
575
00:29:32,536 --> 00:29:34,135
I'd like to make a phone call.
576
00:29:34,137 --> 00:29:35,571
That's not going to happen.
577
00:29:35,573 --> 00:29:37,372
You can't keep
me here forever.
578
00:29:37,374 --> 00:29:40,812
The sooner you let me go, the
better this will be for you.
579
00:29:42,011 --> 00:29:42,944
Never mind.
580
00:29:42,946 --> 00:29:44,546
I'm too tired to cook.
581
00:29:44,548 --> 00:29:47,181
I'll order pizza.
582
00:29:47,183 --> 00:29:48,519
Pineapple right?
583
00:29:50,054 --> 00:29:50,986
Pepperoni.
584
00:29:50,988 --> 00:29:52,321
I thought you liked pineapple.
585
00:29:52,323 --> 00:29:53,388
I lied.
586
00:29:53,390 --> 00:29:54,957
Why did you lie about pizza?
587
00:29:54,959 --> 00:29:58,861
Girls like guys
who like veggies.
588
00:29:58,863 --> 00:30:00,495
Oh, really?
589
00:30:00,497 --> 00:30:02,564
Where the hell do come
up with these things?
590
00:30:04,134 --> 00:30:06,067
Carly.
591
00:30:06,069 --> 00:30:08,069
Help!
592
00:30:08,071 --> 00:30:09,337
Help!
593
00:30:09,339 --> 00:30:10,171
Help!
594
00:30:10,173 --> 00:30:11,006
Don't do that.
595
00:30:11,008 --> 00:30:11,640
Please don't do that.
596
00:30:11,642 --> 00:30:13,374
Help!
597
00:30:13,376 --> 00:30:14,610
Help! What are you doing?
598
00:30:14,612 --> 00:30:15,943
- Help.
- Count to a hundred.
599
00:30:15,945 --> 00:30:17,112
Help.
600
00:30:17,114 --> 00:30:18,180
Help.
601
00:30:18,182 --> 00:30:19,817
Sleep tight.
602
00:30:22,185 --> 00:30:26,356
Thick crust, extra cheese.
603
00:30:28,959 --> 00:30:31,293
Is this some weird sex thing?
604
00:30:31,295 --> 00:30:34,095
Mom, Mom, it'll be okay.
605
00:30:34,097 --> 00:30:34,630
What?
606
00:30:34,632 --> 00:30:35,631
What'll be okay?
607
00:30:35,633 --> 00:30:37,966
You left this place a pigsty.
608
00:30:37,968 --> 00:30:39,934
How many times have I
told you to use a plate.
609
00:30:39,936 --> 00:30:41,371
Okay, okay.
610
00:30:45,308 --> 00:30:46,975
She has a man in her room.
611
00:30:46,977 --> 00:30:47,942
A what?
612
00:30:47,944 --> 00:30:49,378
She has a man in her room!
613
00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:50,679
We talked about this.
614
00:30:50,681 --> 00:30:53,248
Carly, it seems to bother
your mother a little
615
00:30:53,250 --> 00:30:54,682
more than it does me but we know
616
00:30:54,684 --> 00:30:56,183
you're a grown woman and we know
617
00:30:56,185 --> 00:30:57,585
you have relationships with men.
618
00:30:57,587 --> 00:31:00,988
No. She has a man in
a cast in her room.
619
00:31:00,990 --> 00:31:02,324
Well the fact she's
sleeping with somebody
620
00:31:02,326 --> 00:31:04,692
that has a broken something
or other doesn't matter.
621
00:31:04,694 --> 00:31:05,559
What matters...
622
00:31:05,561 --> 00:31:06,995
Are you deaf?
623
00:31:06,997 --> 00:31:09,264
She's keeping a man a
prisoner in her room.
624
00:31:09,266 --> 00:31:10,164
What are you talking about?
625
00:31:10,166 --> 00:31:11,132
What is she talking about?
626
00:31:11,134 --> 00:31:12,267
Dad, just come with me.
627
00:31:12,269 --> 00:31:13,471
I'll explain.
628
00:31:14,438 --> 00:31:17,005
I once dated a girl
who had terrible asthma.
629
00:31:17,007 --> 00:31:18,707
She was on oxygen all the time.
630
00:31:18,709 --> 00:31:20,508
When we had sex, I thought
sometimes she was dying,
631
00:31:20,510 --> 00:31:22,076
from all the wheezing.
632
00:31:22,078 --> 00:31:23,444
I mean, this boy, he just
has a broken leg, right?
633
00:31:23,446 --> 00:31:25,080
He's not a cripple or anything.
634
00:31:25,082 --> 00:31:27,382
Not that there's
anything wrong with that.
635
00:31:43,166 --> 00:31:45,232
What were you thinking?
636
00:31:45,234 --> 00:31:46,267
It just happened.
637
00:31:46,269 --> 00:31:47,169
It just happened.
638
00:31:47,171 --> 00:31:48,202
There was no thinking.
639
00:31:48,204 --> 00:31:49,571
Obviously not.
640
00:31:49,573 --> 00:31:50,572
I'm sorry, dad.
641
00:31:50,574 --> 00:31:52,173
I really am.
642
00:31:52,175 --> 00:31:54,176
How long is he going to
be unconscious like that?
643
00:31:54,178 --> 00:31:55,309
I don't know.
644
00:31:55,311 --> 00:31:56,745
Probably another hour or so
645
00:31:56,747 --> 00:31:59,213
and then he'll wake up
and start yelling again.
646
00:31:59,215 --> 00:32:01,482
We can't keep him
drugged up all the time.
647
00:32:01,484 --> 00:32:02,584
No.
648
00:32:02,586 --> 00:32:04,452
What are we gonna do, Bill?
649
00:32:04,454 --> 00:32:07,457
Well, we're not going to
take it out on the cheese.
650
00:32:08,325 --> 00:32:09,394
Here.
651
00:32:11,729 --> 00:32:13,996
Here, take your medicine.
652
00:32:13,998 --> 00:32:14,997
I don't think there's
a pill for this.
653
00:32:14,999 --> 00:32:16,433
Take your medicine!
654
00:32:17,601 --> 00:32:18,400
He's okay.
655
00:32:18,402 --> 00:32:20,267
He's not hurt.
656
00:32:20,269 --> 00:32:22,470
He's not badly hurt.
657
00:32:22,472 --> 00:32:24,206
I just don't know
what to do with him.
658
00:32:24,208 --> 00:32:25,239
He's not a pet.
659
00:32:25,241 --> 00:32:26,775
You have to let the man go.
660
00:32:26,777 --> 00:32:28,176
I know.
661
00:32:28,178 --> 00:32:31,046
But, but I don't want
my life to be over.
662
00:32:31,048 --> 00:32:32,613
If he goes to the police,
I could go to jail.
663
00:32:32,615 --> 00:32:34,216
I don't wanna be a criminal.
664
00:32:34,218 --> 00:32:36,551
And this is a man you slept
with after the first date?
665
00:32:36,553 --> 00:32:39,587
You are concerned
with her dating life?
666
00:32:39,589 --> 00:32:41,323
Get a handle on
what this is, Bill.
667
00:32:41,325 --> 00:32:42,490
This is the end of our lives.
668
00:32:42,492 --> 00:32:44,593
This is the end of
our fucking lives.
669
00:32:44,595 --> 00:32:46,361
Don't get hysterical
on me, baby.
670
00:32:46,363 --> 00:32:47,295
I'm not hysterical.
671
00:32:47,297 --> 00:32:48,363
I'm not hysterical.
672
00:32:48,365 --> 00:32:49,331
Who's hysterical?
673
00:32:49,333 --> 00:32:51,102
I'm not freaking hysterical.
674
00:32:53,170 --> 00:32:54,201
Laurie!
675
00:32:54,203 --> 00:32:55,536
Where are you going?
676
00:32:55,538 --> 00:32:57,805
I'm going to jump in
the pool and drown myself.
677
00:32:57,807 --> 00:33:00,208
You're not gonna jump in
the pool and drown yourself.
678
00:33:00,210 --> 00:33:00,808
Why not?
679
00:33:00,810 --> 00:33:02,677
Why the hell not?!
680
00:33:02,679 --> 00:33:03,812
Because if you
jump into the pool
681
00:33:03,814 --> 00:33:04,779
you're not going to drown.
682
00:33:04,781 --> 00:33:06,213
You're going to freeze to death
683
00:33:06,215 --> 00:33:07,548
and I'm going to freeze
coming in after you.
684
00:33:07,550 --> 00:33:08,784
Come on back inside.
685
00:33:08,786 --> 00:33:11,053
Mom, it's gonna be okay.
686
00:33:11,055 --> 00:33:12,653
Oh, really. You think so?
687
00:33:12,655 --> 00:33:14,322
Look, It should not be a crime
688
00:33:14,324 --> 00:33:17,526
to treat someone who's
just giving STD's
689
00:33:17,528 --> 00:33:20,327
willy nilly to all women
all through the universe.
690
00:33:20,329 --> 00:33:22,229
No.
691
00:33:22,231 --> 00:33:24,266
He is not nice person.
692
00:33:24,268 --> 00:33:25,167
You're right.
693
00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,802
Come on, let's go inside.
694
00:33:26,804 --> 00:33:28,536
And the fact that
"he's not a nice person"
695
00:33:28,538 --> 00:33:30,104
is not a good enough
reason to have the guy
696
00:33:30,106 --> 00:33:32,106
all plastered up upstairs.
697
00:33:32,108 --> 00:33:33,141
Who's side are you on, Bill?
698
00:33:33,143 --> 00:33:34,342
I'm on Carly's
side, of course.
699
00:33:34,344 --> 00:33:35,610
But this is not right.
700
00:33:35,612 --> 00:33:37,813
Dad, I know it's not right.
701
00:33:37,815 --> 00:33:40,481
But there must be a
way to make it right.
702
00:33:40,483 --> 00:33:42,517
I don't know.
703
00:33:42,519 --> 00:33:43,785
You're not involved.
704
00:33:43,787 --> 00:33:45,152
Of course we're involved.
705
00:33:45,154 --> 00:33:47,255
You're keeping a man
prisoner in our home.
706
00:33:47,257 --> 00:33:49,690
But if he never sees you,
he'll never know you're here.
707
00:33:49,692 --> 00:33:51,596
Oh, great logic.
708
00:33:54,597 --> 00:33:56,363
I want you to leave again.
709
00:33:56,365 --> 00:33:57,766
Go back to Vegas.
710
00:33:57,768 --> 00:33:59,468
It'll give me some time to
figure this out on my own.
711
00:33:59,470 --> 00:34:01,803
We're not leaving you
until we all figure you
712
00:34:01,805 --> 00:34:03,408
away out of this mess.
713
00:34:09,179 --> 00:34:11,713
I deal with scumbags
all the time.
714
00:34:11,715 --> 00:34:14,849
Lying buyers, sellers,
appraisers, bankers.
715
00:34:14,851 --> 00:34:17,885
Laurie, this is not a real
estate transaction gone wrong.
716
00:34:17,887 --> 00:34:18,820
Thank you.
717
00:34:18,822 --> 00:34:19,787
I know that.
718
00:34:19,789 --> 00:34:20,722
But it's business.
719
00:34:20,724 --> 00:34:22,590
In business you make deals.
720
00:34:22,592 --> 00:34:23,858
You compromise.
There are options.
721
00:34:23,860 --> 00:34:26,728
Let's just think,
think for options.
722
00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:29,597
If we let him go, he'll
most likely go to the police.
723
00:34:29,599 --> 00:34:30,565
I would.
724
00:34:30,567 --> 00:34:31,365
Bill.
725
00:34:31,367 --> 00:34:32,601
No, Dad's right.
726
00:34:32,603 --> 00:34:34,903
We have to think
logically, not emotionally.
727
00:34:34,905 --> 00:34:37,238
When he wakes up, we'll
try to reason with him.
728
00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:39,576
And if he decides to
go to the police, well,
729
00:34:42,179 --> 00:34:44,479
I'll just have to hire
a really good lawyer.
730
00:34:44,481 --> 00:34:46,615
That's your
solution, a lawyer?
731
00:34:46,617 --> 00:34:49,217
Well, what options are
you thinking about, Laurie?
732
00:34:49,219 --> 00:34:49,885
The drowning option?
733
00:34:49,887 --> 00:34:51,318
The freezing option?
734
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,090
Or the option to buy our house?
735
00:34:54,458 --> 00:34:56,494
You could accuse him first.
736
00:34:57,793 --> 00:35:02,863
Go to the police and accuse
him of rape or something.
737
00:35:02,865 --> 00:35:04,465
Rape, rape.
738
00:35:04,467 --> 00:35:05,666
That's a good idea!
739
00:35:05,668 --> 00:35:07,635
Finally you've come
up with a great idea.
740
00:35:07,637 --> 00:35:08,903
No, I can't.
741
00:35:08,905 --> 00:35:10,604
After all the "he says,
she says" dies down,
742
00:35:10,606 --> 00:35:11,873
you can recant.
743
00:35:11,875 --> 00:35:12,874
You've made mistakes.
744
00:35:12,876 --> 00:35:14,309
He's made mistakes.
745
00:35:14,311 --> 00:35:16,478
There's no moral high
ground here, right?
746
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:17,612
I can't!
747
00:35:17,614 --> 00:35:18,746
Why not?
748
00:35:18,748 --> 00:35:21,782
Because after
we slept together
749
00:35:21,784 --> 00:35:24,586
and before all of this happened,
750
00:35:24,588 --> 00:35:26,824
I may have texted a few friends.
751
00:35:27,791 --> 00:35:29,191
So?
752
00:35:29,193 --> 00:35:32,894
So, I may have told
them he was good in bed.
753
00:35:32,896 --> 00:35:34,262
Carly.
754
00:35:34,264 --> 00:35:36,264
At least I didn't
post any pictures.
755
00:35:36,266 --> 00:35:38,735
Thank God for that
little blessing.
756
00:35:40,670 --> 00:35:41,769
Okay.
757
00:35:41,771 --> 00:35:43,206
What else?
758
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:58,286
We're not killing anybody.
759
00:35:58,288 --> 00:36:00,287
No.
760
00:36:00,289 --> 00:36:01,623
No. No.
761
00:36:01,625 --> 00:36:02,624
Okay.
762
00:36:02,626 --> 00:36:04,295
Oh God, I can't think.
763
00:36:05,829 --> 00:36:07,431
We don't want to
do anything rash.
764
00:36:10,833 --> 00:36:12,233
I'm going to bed.
765
00:36:12,235 --> 00:36:13,434
We'll think about this
more in the morning.
766
00:36:13,436 --> 00:36:15,737
Bill, how can you sleep?
767
00:36:15,739 --> 00:36:16,972
It's late.
768
00:36:16,974 --> 00:36:18,673
It was a long drive
back from Vegas.
769
00:36:18,675 --> 00:36:20,278
I'm exhausted.
770
00:36:21,577 --> 00:36:22,711
We'll get some rest.
771
00:36:22,713 --> 00:36:23,577
And we'll think more
clearly. Come on.
772
00:36:23,579 --> 00:36:24,813
Yeah, dad's right.
773
00:36:24,815 --> 00:36:26,280
At least we know
he's not gonna get up
774
00:36:26,282 --> 00:36:27,916
and walk out the front door?
775
00:36:27,918 --> 00:36:29,519
No, he can't.
776
00:36:32,556 --> 00:36:34,322
I'll be right back.
777
00:36:34,324 --> 00:36:35,856
Wait, where are you going?
778
00:36:35,858 --> 00:36:37,258
I haven't fed him yet.
779
00:36:37,260 --> 00:36:40,729
He'll wake up soon and
I promised him pizza.
780
00:36:40,731 --> 00:36:43,731
And if he starts yelling,
don't go in there.
781
00:36:43,733 --> 00:36:45,766
And if he does
yell, don't worry.
782
00:36:45,768 --> 00:36:47,001
He's okay.
783
00:36:47,003 --> 00:36:51,606
He's got food and water
and the remote control.
784
00:36:51,608 --> 00:36:53,244
All the comforts of home.
785
00:37:13,896 --> 00:37:15,630
Hey, where are you going?
786
00:37:15,632 --> 00:37:17,065
I'm going in there and
try to reason with him.
787
00:37:17,067 --> 00:37:18,900
She told you not
to go in there.
788
00:37:18,902 --> 00:37:20,434
What have you got
in your pocket?
789
00:37:20,436 --> 00:37:21,536
Nothing.
790
00:37:21,538 --> 00:37:22,806
What have you
got in your pocket?
791
00:37:24,940 --> 00:37:26,541
Don't go nutsy on me again.
792
00:37:26,543 --> 00:37:27,309
I don't care.
793
00:37:27,311 --> 00:37:28,043
I'll go to jail.
794
00:37:28,045 --> 00:37:29,610
I'll take the blame for this.
795
00:37:29,612 --> 00:37:31,045
But we are going to come up
with a sensible solution.
796
00:37:31,047 --> 00:37:32,046
You're more tired than I am.
797
00:37:32,048 --> 00:37:33,481
You're not making any sense.
798
00:37:33,483 --> 00:37:35,349
Come back to bed.
799
00:37:35,351 --> 00:37:36,318
Come on.
800
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:37,651
Don't you see?
801
00:37:37,653 --> 00:37:38,987
This punk is going to
ruin our daughter's life.
802
00:37:38,989 --> 00:37:40,521
I'm her mother.
803
00:37:40,523 --> 00:37:41,588
I'm not going to just stand
by and watch that happen.
804
00:37:41,590 --> 00:37:43,057
Come back to bed.
805
00:37:43,059 --> 00:37:44,492
Take another pill.
806
00:37:44,494 --> 00:37:45,327
Another pill?
807
00:37:45,329 --> 00:37:45,927
Yeah.
808
00:37:45,929 --> 00:37:46,728
Okay.
809
00:37:46,730 --> 00:37:48,733
Okay, here we go.
810
00:37:50,067 --> 00:37:51,532
Get off me!
811
00:37:51,534 --> 00:37:53,400
This is a situation.
812
00:37:53,402 --> 00:37:56,037
No, no, no, no, no.
813
00:37:56,039 --> 00:37:57,541
No.
814
00:38:04,481 --> 00:38:06,815
You think he has parents?
815
00:38:06,817 --> 00:38:08,583
I'm sure of it.
816
00:38:08,585 --> 00:38:09,883
No, you know what I mean.
817
00:38:09,885 --> 00:38:13,921
Parents, living,
worried about him?
818
00:38:13,923 --> 00:38:15,990
I've got more to worry
about my own daughter.
819
00:38:15,992 --> 00:38:17,559
I don't need to be
worrying about his parents.
820
00:38:17,561 --> 00:38:18,392
Come on!
821
00:38:18,394 --> 00:38:19,697
Before he wakes up.
822
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,569
We could bury
him in the backyard
823
00:38:28,572 --> 00:38:30,104
where you wanted to
build your barbecue.
824
00:38:30,106 --> 00:38:32,442
You are so taking
your medication.
825
00:38:34,043 --> 00:38:35,779
So, I can build my barbecue?
826
00:38:48,425 --> 00:38:50,461
You know, eventually you're
going to have to let me go.
827
00:38:51,762 --> 00:38:53,128
I mean, we're not going to spend
828
00:38:53,130 --> 00:38:55,333
the rest of our lives
together like this.
829
00:38:57,534 --> 00:38:58,465
What do you think?
830
00:38:58,467 --> 00:38:59,633
The more time we spend together,
831
00:38:59,635 --> 00:39:02,604
we're just gonna get comfortable
with each other and this,
832
00:39:02,606 --> 00:39:03,974
this situation.
833
00:39:05,141 --> 00:39:08,610
Pretty soon, I'm gonna go
from a cast to handcuffs;
834
00:39:08,612 --> 00:39:10,644
from pizza to your beef stew.
835
00:39:10,646 --> 00:39:12,514
And one day you'll lead
me downstairs on a leash
836
00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:13,884
to meet the folks.
837
00:39:15,786 --> 00:39:16,950
Maybe you think
I'm gonna succumb
838
00:39:16,952 --> 00:39:18,686
to some Stockholm
syndrome or something?
839
00:39:18,688 --> 00:39:20,921
'Cause it's not going to happen.
840
00:39:20,923 --> 00:39:22,157
You're fucked.
841
00:39:22,159 --> 00:39:23,858
And the longer I'm here
the more fucked you are.
842
00:39:23,860 --> 00:39:25,025
How do you know I'm
not going to cut you up
843
00:39:25,027 --> 00:39:27,097
into little pieces and
feed you to my dog?
844
00:39:28,998 --> 00:39:30,164
Have another slice of pizza.
845
00:39:30,166 --> 00:39:32,469
Max likes a lot of
meat on his bones.
846
00:39:34,471 --> 00:39:36,204
All right, you can
pretend some type of female
847
00:39:36,206 --> 00:39:38,807
Hannibal Lecter, but you're not.
848
00:39:38,809 --> 00:39:40,909
In the end, I go home
and you go to jail
849
00:39:40,911 --> 00:39:42,813
or the nut house maybe.
850
00:39:44,914 --> 00:39:47,449
People are gonna ask about me.
851
00:39:47,451 --> 00:39:48,849
Somebody's going
to notice my car
852
00:39:48,851 --> 00:39:50,083
sitting at the club all night.
853
00:39:50,085 --> 00:39:51,686
People are gonna start
asking questions.
854
00:39:51,688 --> 00:39:54,856
And, eventually, in a few hours,
855
00:39:54,858 --> 00:39:57,925
a few days maybe, the
cop's gonna be knocking
856
00:39:57,927 --> 00:39:59,927
on your front door.
857
00:39:59,929 --> 00:40:02,996
You have been watching
way too much television.
858
00:40:02,998 --> 00:40:06,099
I have a feeling
nobody cares about you.
859
00:40:06,101 --> 00:40:07,601
I mean, how long could
it take to replace
860
00:40:07,603 --> 00:40:09,103
a supermarket deli man?
861
00:40:09,105 --> 00:40:10,070
I'm not a deli man.
862
00:40:10,072 --> 00:40:11,005
I'm a baker.
863
00:40:11,007 --> 00:40:12,673
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
864
00:40:12,675 --> 00:40:14,644
Butcher, baker,
candlestick maker.
865
00:40:16,146 --> 00:40:17,545
You know, the more you talk,
866
00:40:17,547 --> 00:40:18,849
the uglier you get.
867
00:40:20,217 --> 00:40:21,684
So who's here?
868
00:40:22,751 --> 00:40:24,686
You know.
869
00:40:24,688 --> 00:40:25,621
Your parents.
870
00:40:25,623 --> 00:40:27,425
Your whole family can't
be as crazy as you.
871
00:40:28,958 --> 00:40:30,724
Maybe somebody here has
got have some sense.
872
00:40:30,726 --> 00:40:34,095
If you yell and wake
anybody up, I swear.
873
00:40:34,097 --> 00:40:35,662
Okay, I won't. I won't.
874
00:40:35,664 --> 00:40:36,800
Just don't tug on the catheter.
875
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,175
I didn't say you had
to move your hand.
876
00:40:48,644 --> 00:40:52,546
So what did you
877
00:40:52,548 --> 00:40:53,717
tell your friends?
878
00:40:54,784 --> 00:40:55,916
You know after that night.
879
00:40:55,918 --> 00:40:57,086
What do you mean?
880
00:40:58,255 --> 00:41:01,255
You know after you
came the first time,
881
00:41:01,257 --> 00:41:02,590
you went to the bathroom.
882
00:41:02,592 --> 00:41:04,659
And you tweeted or
texted somebody.
883
00:41:04,661 --> 00:41:06,130
You are so vain.
884
00:41:07,630 --> 00:41:08,665
What?
885
00:41:13,036 --> 00:41:15,135
Women talk.
886
00:41:15,137 --> 00:41:16,706
I know women talk.
887
00:41:17,806 --> 00:41:19,541
You guys love to talk.
888
00:41:19,543 --> 00:41:21,178
At the weirdest times too.
889
00:41:23,012 --> 00:41:24,278
You know the story
always went that guys
890
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,847
talked about their conquests.
891
00:41:26,849 --> 00:41:28,550
I never did.
892
00:41:28,552 --> 00:41:30,717
I mean my friends
would get together
893
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:32,019
and somebody would talk
about who they're dating
894
00:41:32,021 --> 00:41:33,854
or if they were fucking
somebody but nobody
895
00:41:33,856 --> 00:41:35,893
got very graphic
about their business.
896
00:41:37,561 --> 00:41:41,329
I bet the size and width of
my dick is online right now.
897
00:41:41,331 --> 00:41:42,630
Yeah.
898
00:41:42,632 --> 00:41:44,034
That's why it had to be a tweet.
899
00:41:46,635 --> 00:41:48,336
Did you turn the faucet on
when you went to the bathroom
900
00:41:48,338 --> 00:41:50,704
'cause you didn't want
me to hear you pee.
901
00:41:50,706 --> 00:41:53,641
You know, I know women
pee, for Christ sake.
902
00:41:53,643 --> 00:41:54,911
Shut up.
903
00:41:58,914 --> 00:42:00,180
What are you doing?
904
00:42:00,182 --> 00:42:02,182
I'm going to bed.
905
00:42:02,184 --> 00:42:03,784
You're going to sleep
here? In this bed.
906
00:42:03,786 --> 00:42:05,052
It's my room.
907
00:42:05,054 --> 00:42:06,086
My bed.
908
00:42:06,088 --> 00:42:07,625
Don't you usually sleep naked?
909
00:42:08,692 --> 00:42:09,324
Usually.
910
00:42:09,326 --> 00:42:11,925
But not with you here.
911
00:42:11,927 --> 00:42:13,530
How the fuck do you sleep?
912
00:42:15,632 --> 00:42:17,664
Usually I wear underwear
but that's so I can jack off
913
00:42:17,666 --> 00:42:18,700
at a moment's notice.
914
00:42:18,702 --> 00:42:19,333
Oh my God.
915
00:42:19,335 --> 00:42:20,969
You are so disgusting.
916
00:42:20,971 --> 00:42:25,940
Oh, little Miss Sunshine with
the vibrator in the drawer.
917
00:42:25,942 --> 00:42:28,008
Shut up.
918
00:42:28,010 --> 00:42:29,677
Now, I feel sorry for you.
919
00:42:29,679 --> 00:42:31,282
It's going to be a bitch
smuggling this thing into prison.
920
00:42:37,954 --> 00:42:39,156
Good night, Carly.
921
00:42:49,231 --> 00:42:50,264
Here.
922
00:42:50,266 --> 00:42:51,699
Take it.
923
00:42:51,701 --> 00:42:52,700
What do I do with this?
924
00:42:52,702 --> 00:42:54,101
You put it in the catheter,
925
00:42:54,103 --> 00:42:55,670
withdraw the fluid
in the balloon,
926
00:42:55,672 --> 00:42:57,871
and pull it out.
927
00:42:57,873 --> 00:42:59,173
Pull it out?
928
00:42:59,175 --> 00:43:00,108
Yeah.
929
00:43:00,110 --> 00:43:00,974
I put it in.
930
00:43:00,976 --> 00:43:02,312
You pull it out.
931
00:43:04,146 --> 00:43:05,912
What are we
talking about here?
932
00:43:05,914 --> 00:43:08,117
Oh my God, the catheter.
933
00:43:25,168 --> 00:43:26,637
That's nice.
934
00:43:37,780 --> 00:43:38,983
Thank you.
935
00:43:41,818 --> 00:43:43,150
Did you sleep?
936
00:43:43,152 --> 00:43:44,818
Not very well.
937
00:43:44,820 --> 00:43:48,755
I was up all night
keeping an eye on you.
938
00:43:48,757 --> 00:43:49,791
I know. I'm sorry.
939
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:51,092
I shouldn't drink at night.
940
00:43:51,094 --> 00:43:52,360
Oh, it was the wine, huh?
941
00:43:52,362 --> 00:43:53,731
Yeah.
942
00:43:59,101 --> 00:44:00,735
I hid the gun.
943
00:44:00,737 --> 00:44:02,302
Okay.
944
00:44:02,304 --> 00:44:03,905
Where?
945
00:44:03,907 --> 00:44:05,373
I wasn't going to do anything.
946
00:44:05,375 --> 00:44:06,708
I just wanted to scare him.
947
00:44:06,710 --> 00:44:08,208
You scare me.
948
00:44:08,210 --> 00:44:09,911
My daughter scares me.
949
00:44:09,913 --> 00:44:11,179
What are you going
to do about it, Bill?
950
00:44:11,181 --> 00:44:12,447
I don't know.
951
00:44:12,449 --> 00:44:13,847
It's all gone.
952
00:44:13,849 --> 00:44:15,016
What?
953
00:44:15,018 --> 00:44:16,784
All of our hopes
and dreams for Carly.
954
00:44:16,786 --> 00:44:17,751
They're gone.
955
00:44:17,753 --> 00:44:18,351
What are you talking about?
956
00:44:18,353 --> 00:44:19,320
We'll work this out.
957
00:44:19,322 --> 00:44:21,255
Carly's still a wonderful girl.
958
00:44:21,257 --> 00:44:23,257
She worked hard to make
herself a successful career.
959
00:44:23,259 --> 00:44:24,925
She has lots of friends.
960
00:44:24,927 --> 00:44:25,860
She's attractive.
961
00:44:25,862 --> 00:44:28,028
She has lots of dates.
962
00:44:28,030 --> 00:44:29,930
She'll find someone she likes.
963
00:44:29,932 --> 00:44:30,764
That.
964
00:44:30,766 --> 00:44:31,499
All that what you said.
965
00:44:31,501 --> 00:44:32,803
It's gone.
966
00:44:34,204 --> 00:44:36,170
I should just shoot myself.
967
00:44:36,172 --> 00:44:38,338
You're going down that
dead end road again.
968
00:44:38,340 --> 00:44:39,507
I can't help it.
969
00:44:39,509 --> 00:44:40,775
There's no solution.
970
00:44:40,777 --> 00:44:42,943
There's a solution.
971
00:44:42,945 --> 00:44:45,012
I just haven't
thought of it yet.
972
00:44:45,014 --> 00:44:48,152
Are you going to be all
right with him here?
973
00:44:50,085 --> 00:44:51,452
I'm fine.
974
00:44:51,454 --> 00:44:54,088
Okay, I'm out of here.
975
00:44:54,090 --> 00:44:56,093
Don't do anything nutsy.
976
00:45:16,211 --> 00:45:17,144
Who is it?
977
00:45:17,146 --> 00:45:18,179
Oh, God. I forgot.
978
00:45:18,181 --> 00:45:20,180
Monday morning is mahj.
979
00:45:20,182 --> 00:45:20,914
Help!
980
00:45:20,916 --> 00:45:21,414
Anybody! I'm...
981
00:45:21,416 --> 00:45:22,516
Shut up!
982
00:45:22,518 --> 00:45:24,084
Who's coming?
983
00:45:24,086 --> 00:45:26,123
Ruth and Mindy
and your Aunt Cindy.
984
00:45:28,257 --> 00:45:29,322
I won't answer.
985
00:45:29,324 --> 00:45:30,258
Upstairs.
986
00:45:30,260 --> 00:45:31,224
But they know you're here.
987
00:45:31,226 --> 00:45:32,360
Help, anybody!
988
00:45:32,362 --> 00:45:33,994
Just give me a
minute and then answer.
989
00:45:33,996 --> 00:45:34,528
Please.
990
00:45:34,530 --> 00:45:35,362
Are you sure?
991
00:45:35,364 --> 00:45:36,496
I can handle this.
992
00:45:36,498 --> 00:45:38,267
Please, I'm upstairs.
993
00:45:50,012 --> 00:45:52,079
Are we playing Maj
or going clubbing?
994
00:45:52,081 --> 00:45:53,146
I grew up with her.
995
00:45:53,148 --> 00:45:54,014
I was invisible.
996
00:45:54,016 --> 00:45:55,282
She's a man magnet.
997
00:45:55,284 --> 00:45:57,487
So, are we gonna play or what?
998
00:46:12,869 --> 00:46:14,171
Can you hear me?
999
00:46:16,039 --> 00:46:16,903
Hey!
1000
00:46:16,905 --> 00:46:18,041
Aw!
1001
00:46:24,847 --> 00:46:27,280
Hey!
1002
00:46:27,282 --> 00:46:28,317
Hey.
1003
00:46:49,938 --> 00:46:51,240
Sorry about that.
1004
00:46:53,009 --> 00:46:54,244
I won't do it again.
1005
00:46:58,981 --> 00:47:00,250
So, who's here?
1006
00:47:04,621 --> 00:47:06,153
Do you hear me?
1007
00:47:06,155 --> 00:47:10,391
Yes, I hear you.
1008
00:47:10,393 --> 00:47:11,829
Somebody's here.
1009
00:47:14,097 --> 00:47:16,998
You know I'm very sociable.
1010
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,068
Come on.
1011
00:47:19,202 --> 00:47:20,233
Introduce me to your mother.
1012
00:47:20,235 --> 00:47:21,034
Mothers love me.
1013
00:47:21,036 --> 00:47:22,103
I'm a potential.
1014
00:47:22,105 --> 00:47:23,970
A potential what?
1015
00:47:23,972 --> 00:47:26,606
What do you think? A potential
seed for the grand kids.
1016
00:47:26,608 --> 00:47:28,077
Bad seed.
1017
00:47:29,144 --> 00:47:31,012
So whose helmets?
1018
00:47:31,014 --> 00:47:32,914
Who rides?
1019
00:47:32,916 --> 00:47:34,682
My dad.
1020
00:47:34,684 --> 00:47:36,450
I've got a Harley.
1021
00:47:36,452 --> 00:47:38,084
A fat boy.
1022
00:47:38,086 --> 00:47:38,920
Really?
1023
00:47:38,922 --> 00:47:40,954
It's all tricked out.
1024
00:47:40,956 --> 00:47:42,490
Lots of chrome, Custom paint.
1025
00:47:42,492 --> 00:47:44,194
It's a beauty.
1026
00:47:46,262 --> 00:47:47,295
No, I don't have a Harley.
1027
00:47:47,297 --> 00:47:49,396
I don't have a bike.
1028
00:47:49,398 --> 00:47:50,664
More lies.
1029
00:47:50,666 --> 00:47:53,103
But you liked that
image, didn't you.
1030
00:47:54,536 --> 00:47:58,139
Just for a moment,
you tell the truth.
1031
00:47:58,141 --> 00:48:01,242
You were imagining
yourself straddling my hog
1032
00:48:01,244 --> 00:48:03,411
cruising down the coast highway,
1033
00:48:03,413 --> 00:48:06,282
that exciting vibration
between your legs.
1034
00:48:10,420 --> 00:48:12,389
Why do you have to
be anything you're not?
1035
00:48:13,690 --> 00:48:15,291
Am I any different from you?
1036
00:48:16,425 --> 00:48:17,460
You pretend.
1037
00:48:19,329 --> 00:48:22,563
A make-up, those push up bras,
1038
00:48:22,565 --> 00:48:25,231
tight short dresses,
those come fuck me shoes.
1039
00:48:25,233 --> 00:48:26,300
What are you pretending to be?
1040
00:48:26,302 --> 00:48:28,302
It is not the same.
1041
00:48:28,304 --> 00:48:30,170
I'm not lying about myself.
1042
00:48:30,172 --> 00:48:33,441
I'm making myself,
myself look better.
1043
00:48:33,443 --> 00:48:35,175
You're making up a
whole different person.
1044
00:48:35,177 --> 00:48:37,177
It's my make-up.
1045
00:48:37,179 --> 00:48:39,315
When I'm comfortable with
somebody, I take it off.
1046
00:48:41,451 --> 00:48:43,985
What's the longest
relationship you've ever had?
1047
00:48:43,987 --> 00:48:47,121
I mean I know you're good
at one night stands but
1048
00:48:47,123 --> 00:48:49,126
have you ever
gotten past a week?
1049
00:48:50,525 --> 00:48:52,659
You sound like my shrink.
1050
00:48:52,661 --> 00:48:54,327
You see a shrink?
1051
00:48:54,329 --> 00:48:55,362
Really?
1052
00:48:55,364 --> 00:48:57,197
For 15 years.
1053
00:48:57,199 --> 00:48:58,599
Wait a minute.
1054
00:48:58,601 --> 00:49:01,034
That means you've been seeing
a shrink since high school?
1055
00:49:01,036 --> 00:49:02,737
A troubled soul.
1056
00:49:02,739 --> 00:49:05,606
If I didn't go to therapy
every day after school,
1057
00:49:05,608 --> 00:49:07,508
I would have had to play soccer
1058
00:49:07,510 --> 00:49:10,478
or basketball or baseball
and I hated all that shit.
1059
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,113
My after-school program was
listening to my psychiatrist
1060
00:49:13,115 --> 00:49:16,385
convince me how my
parents fucked up my life.
1061
00:49:18,588 --> 00:49:20,121
"Do you think your
parents liked your brother
1062
00:49:20,123 --> 00:49:21,789
"better than you?
1063
00:49:21,791 --> 00:49:24,624
"Do you think you would have
rather been born a girl?
1064
00:49:24,626 --> 00:49:28,295
"If your cock was a pen,
what color would the ink be?"
1065
00:49:28,297 --> 00:49:31,534
Maybe Dr. Gupta's brainwashing
is what fucked up my life.
1066
00:49:33,702 --> 00:49:36,369
You're making all
this up, aren't you?
1067
00:49:36,371 --> 00:49:37,405
Check my wallet.
1068
00:49:37,407 --> 00:49:39,343
Dr. Gupta from Encino.
1069
00:49:41,143 --> 00:49:42,745
I'm through playing
games with your Carly.
1070
00:49:46,081 --> 00:49:47,384
Look where it's gotten me.
1071
00:49:52,822 --> 00:49:54,688
Your parents know I'm
up here, don't they?
1072
00:49:54,690 --> 00:49:56,423
I've had men over before.
1073
00:49:56,425 --> 00:49:57,458
They treat me like an adult.
1074
00:49:57,460 --> 00:49:58,758
They don't ask, I don't tell.
1075
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,128
So, your parents don't
know you have a man
1076
00:50:01,130 --> 00:50:03,430
set in plaster in your bed?
1077
00:50:03,432 --> 00:50:05,099
No.
1078
00:50:05,101 --> 00:50:06,800
Okay.
1079
00:50:06,802 --> 00:50:09,302
So what about you, huh?
1080
00:50:09,304 --> 00:50:12,174
Have you ever had a
serious relationship?
1081
00:50:14,242 --> 00:50:15,575
I mean, not a one night stand,
1082
00:50:15,577 --> 00:50:19,016
or a weekend relationship
for a couple of months,
1083
00:50:20,550 --> 00:50:22,249
or high-school puppy
love where you write
1084
00:50:22,251 --> 00:50:24,284
the guys name down
a thousand times
1085
00:50:24,286 --> 00:50:27,454
or mention him to your
friends as "the one,"
1086
00:50:27,456 --> 00:50:30,226
to make some make-believe
love seem real?
1087
00:50:36,099 --> 00:50:38,301
Or, do you cast all
your men in plaster?
1088
00:50:45,875 --> 00:50:48,711
Hey, don't worry about it.
1089
00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:51,381
Really.
1090
00:50:53,215 --> 00:50:55,251
I see you getting
married some day.
1091
00:50:56,452 --> 00:50:57,454
I do.
1092
00:51:07,597 --> 00:51:09,499
And then shooting your husband.
1093
00:51:13,603 --> 00:51:14,834
Fuck you.
1094
00:51:14,836 --> 00:51:15,836
Where you going?
1095
00:51:15,838 --> 00:51:17,274
See you later.
1096
00:51:18,608 --> 00:51:19,776
I'll be here.
1097
00:51:29,351 --> 00:51:30,251
Flower.
1098
00:51:30,253 --> 00:51:31,217
Wait a minute.
1099
00:51:31,219 --> 00:51:32,621
I'll take that.
1100
00:51:34,222 --> 00:51:37,360
Did you hear that Barbara's
gonna have another grandchild?
1101
00:51:38,661 --> 00:51:39,592
Nine dot.
1102
00:51:39,594 --> 00:51:40,594
Red.
1103
00:51:40,596 --> 00:51:42,362
I'm going broke buying gifts.
1104
00:51:42,364 --> 00:51:45,199
Graduation gifts, bridal
showers, wedding gifts.
1105
00:51:45,201 --> 00:51:46,766
Well, you've had your share.
1106
00:51:46,768 --> 00:51:47,901
I'm the barren one here.
1107
00:51:47,903 --> 00:51:48,903
Seven dot.
1108
00:51:48,905 --> 00:51:50,771
Is Carly dating anyone?
1109
00:51:50,773 --> 00:51:52,505
We're having some problems
with Carly right now.
1110
00:51:52,507 --> 00:51:53,574
What kind of problems?
1111
00:51:53,576 --> 00:51:55,275
I don't want to talk about it.
1112
00:51:55,277 --> 00:51:56,409
Four crack.
1113
00:51:56,411 --> 00:51:57,378
Men of course.
1114
00:51:57,380 --> 00:51:58,811
Cindy, what do you know?
1115
00:51:58,813 --> 00:52:00,648
What other kinds of
problems could she be having?
1116
00:52:00,650 --> 00:52:02,215
Well, you know
everything, don't you?
1117
00:52:02,217 --> 00:52:03,918
My daughter is not a
topic of discussion.
1118
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:05,485
She is off the table.
1119
00:52:05,487 --> 00:52:06,387
Oh, come on.
1120
00:52:06,389 --> 00:52:07,787
Carly's a wonderful girl.
1121
00:52:07,789 --> 00:52:09,490
She'll find someone.
1122
00:52:09,492 --> 00:52:10,791
Joker.
1123
00:52:10,793 --> 00:52:12,626
She'll meet a nice
doctor, you'll see.
1124
00:52:12,628 --> 00:52:13,693
Oh my God!
1125
00:52:13,695 --> 00:52:15,362
I don't want to talk about this.
1126
00:52:15,364 --> 00:52:16,697
Flower.
1127
00:52:16,699 --> 00:52:18,499
Well we know she's had
her share of issues but...
1128
00:52:18,501 --> 00:52:19,532
Can't you not hear?
1129
00:52:19,534 --> 00:52:20,668
I don't want to discuss it.
1130
00:52:20,670 --> 00:52:23,403
It's no crime being
single nowadays.
1131
00:52:23,405 --> 00:52:24,704
Maybe it should be.
1132
00:52:24,706 --> 00:52:26,807
If you're not married
by thirty, go to jail.
1133
00:52:26,809 --> 00:52:28,275
That's crazy.
1134
00:52:28,277 --> 00:52:28,943
Who would go to jail?
1135
00:52:28,945 --> 00:52:30,211
The guys or the girls?
1136
00:52:30,213 --> 00:52:31,345
Both.
1137
00:52:31,347 --> 00:52:32,378
It would be a new game.
1138
00:52:32,380 --> 00:52:33,981
Incarceration Match dot com.
1139
00:52:35,550 --> 00:52:36,916
Is that what you want?
1140
00:52:36,918 --> 00:52:38,918
Is that what you want? You
want my Carly to go to jail?
1141
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:40,623
Just joking, sis.
1142
00:52:42,391 --> 00:52:43,423
Six dot.
1143
00:52:43,425 --> 00:52:44,825
Oh! Mahj!
1144
00:52:44,827 --> 00:52:45,793
Look at this.
1145
00:52:45,795 --> 00:52:47,695
Oh, yes.
1146
00:52:47,697 --> 00:52:49,295
Every time.
1147
00:53:01,978 --> 00:53:04,378
Could you get me a washcloth?
1148
00:53:04,380 --> 00:53:06,349
I was sweating to hell in there.
1149
00:53:18,793 --> 00:53:20,461
Let go.
1150
00:53:20,463 --> 00:53:21,862
Let go!
1151
00:53:21,864 --> 00:53:24,331
We really need to talk.
1152
00:53:24,333 --> 00:53:26,566
Okay, this isn't going where
either of us wanted to go.
1153
00:53:26,568 --> 00:53:29,769
And there was some chemistry
the other night, wasn't there?
1154
00:53:29,771 --> 00:53:31,371
I mean, it wasn't just fucking.
1155
00:53:31,373 --> 00:53:33,209
No. I think it
was just fucking.
1156
00:53:36,012 --> 00:53:37,778
What the fuck!
1157
00:53:37,780 --> 00:53:38,882
It was a kiss.
1158
00:53:39,849 --> 00:53:41,382
I'm not playing your game.
1159
00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:43,219
One more time and you'll
tell me this is a game.
1160
00:53:46,021 --> 00:53:47,287
I know you think I'm a phony.
1161
00:53:47,289 --> 00:53:47,920
And maybe I am.
1162
00:53:47,922 --> 00:53:49,225
But not completely.
1163
00:53:50,626 --> 00:53:51,691
I liked you.
1164
00:53:51,693 --> 00:53:52,862
I really did.
1165
00:53:55,530 --> 00:53:57,233
Carly, I think you're beautiful.
1166
00:53:58,067 --> 00:54:01,534
I just don't think
beautiful women will like me
1167
00:54:01,536 --> 00:54:03,305
unless I make things up.
1168
00:54:06,474 --> 00:54:09,309
And it wasn't me
that gave you an STD.
1169
00:54:09,311 --> 00:54:10,644
It wasn't.
1170
00:54:10,646 --> 00:54:12,512
You don't get those
things from toilet seats.
1171
00:54:12,514 --> 00:54:13,447
I know.
1172
00:54:13,449 --> 00:54:14,782
But maybe it was something else.
1173
00:54:14,784 --> 00:54:18,855
Or somebody else.
1174
00:54:23,559 --> 00:54:25,825
I'm dying in here.
1175
00:54:25,827 --> 00:54:27,094
You've got to cut this part off.
1176
00:54:27,096 --> 00:54:28,764
It itches like crazy.
1177
00:54:49,585 --> 00:54:50,416
Gotta pee.
1178
00:54:50,418 --> 00:54:51,487
Oh my God.
1179
00:54:54,824 --> 00:54:55,822
Is that it?
1180
00:54:55,824 --> 00:54:56,824
Yeah. A little deeper.
1181
00:54:56,826 --> 00:54:57,691
A little lower.
1182
00:54:57,693 --> 00:54:58,858
Yeah.
1183
00:54:58,860 --> 00:55:00,394
Ahh!
1184
00:55:00,396 --> 00:55:01,095
You're almost there.
1185
00:55:01,097 --> 00:55:01,894
Almost there.
1186
00:55:01,896 --> 00:55:02,829
Oh, fuck it.
1187
00:55:02,831 --> 00:55:04,067
Be careful. Be careful.
1188
00:55:05,701 --> 00:55:07,900
Oh, you're right there. Aw!
1189
00:55:07,902 --> 00:55:09,438
Hold your balls to the side.
1190
00:55:12,007 --> 00:55:12,840
Oh!
1191
00:55:12,842 --> 00:55:14,744
You're right there.
1192
00:55:19,382 --> 00:55:20,481
Yes.
1193
00:55:20,483 --> 00:55:21,414
- Yes!
- It's nothing.
1194
00:55:21,416 --> 00:55:22,416
Let's go to lunch.
1195
00:55:22,418 --> 00:55:23,717
Just like that.
1196
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:24,485
- Wait.
- Oh.
1197
00:55:24,487 --> 00:55:26,686
No way. Wait.
1198
00:55:26,688 --> 00:55:30,090
Oh, you're right there.
1199
00:55:30,092 --> 00:55:31,927
You've done this
before, haven't you?
1200
00:55:33,461 --> 00:55:36,063
Ooh, yeah, that's it.
1201
00:55:36,065 --> 00:55:37,898
Ow, ow, ow.
1202
00:55:37,900 --> 00:55:39,532
I said put your
balls to the side.
1203
00:55:39,534 --> 00:55:40,900
Okay.
1204
00:55:40,902 --> 00:55:42,603
Oh, right there. Right
there. Right there.
1205
00:55:42,605 --> 00:55:43,737
You got it. You got it.
1206
00:55:43,739 --> 00:55:45,773
Oh.
1207
00:55:45,775 --> 00:55:47,907
Harder. Harder.
1208
00:55:47,909 --> 00:55:49,378
Oh that's perfect.
1209
00:55:50,612 --> 00:55:52,746
We never had that
kind of fun growing up.
1210
00:55:52,748 --> 00:55:53,746
It's nothing.
1211
00:55:53,748 --> 00:55:55,351
He has a great HMO.
1212
00:56:01,556 --> 00:56:04,758
Carly, what are you
doing with that boy?
1213
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:05,925
What do you mean?
1214
00:56:05,927 --> 00:56:07,994
She means he's not a sex toy.
1215
00:56:07,996 --> 00:56:09,195
I didn't mean that.
1216
00:56:09,197 --> 00:56:11,597
I have no objections
to men as sex toys.
1217
00:56:11,599 --> 00:56:12,900
Cindy!
1218
00:56:12,902 --> 00:56:14,735
Aunt Cindy, I didn't mean
for you to get involved.
1219
00:56:14,737 --> 00:56:15,702
I'm family.
1220
00:56:15,704 --> 00:56:16,903
I can't be uninvolved.
1221
00:56:16,905 --> 00:56:18,539
What was going on it there?
1222
00:56:18,541 --> 00:56:19,639
Nothing's going on.
1223
00:56:19,641 --> 00:56:20,840
He had an itch.
1224
00:56:20,842 --> 00:56:22,775
You've got to scratch
a man's itch, Laurie.
1225
00:56:22,777 --> 00:56:24,778
Lord knows, I've
scratched my share.
1226
00:56:24,780 --> 00:56:26,512
What is he thinking?
1227
00:56:26,514 --> 00:56:30,684
He's thinking how he can
talk me into cutting him loose.
1228
00:56:30,686 --> 00:56:31,918
He kissed me.
1229
00:56:31,920 --> 00:56:33,052
Oh?
1230
00:56:33,054 --> 00:56:34,487
All bound up like
that, he kissed you?
1231
00:56:34,489 --> 00:56:35,655
It's his game.
1232
00:56:35,657 --> 00:56:37,624
Don't let that
boy toy with you.
1233
00:56:37,626 --> 00:56:39,095
He's not toying with me.
1234
00:56:41,630 --> 00:56:42,729
Laurie?
1235
00:56:42,731 --> 00:56:44,798
Could you get some
more iced tea?
1236
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:45,969
Sure.
1237
00:56:53,074 --> 00:56:55,943
I really fucked up
this time, Aunt Cindy.
1238
00:56:55,945 --> 00:56:57,244
Nonsense.
1239
00:56:57,246 --> 00:56:58,847
Men are scum.
1240
00:57:00,081 --> 00:57:04,550
Even your Uncle Harry, may
he rest in peace, was scum.
1241
00:57:04,552 --> 00:57:06,653
I spent tens of thousands
of dollars trying to
1242
00:57:06,655 --> 00:57:09,222
look like the the 20 somethings
he was chasing after.
1243
00:57:09,224 --> 00:57:12,492
Then the 30 somethings
and 40 somethings.
1244
00:57:12,494 --> 00:57:14,463
I was always a decade behind.
1245
00:57:15,664 --> 00:57:18,197
So, where did you meet this boy?
1246
00:57:18,199 --> 00:57:19,532
At a club.
1247
00:57:19,534 --> 00:57:21,101
You never wanna
first meet a man
1248
00:57:21,103 --> 00:57:23,106
in the dark with alcohol.
1249
00:57:24,572 --> 00:57:27,708
I know it's routine but
it's a recipe for disaster.
1250
00:57:27,710 --> 00:57:31,512
Now, I may look old to you
but I am a modern woman.
1251
00:57:31,514 --> 00:57:33,246
I look for love online.
1252
00:57:33,248 --> 00:57:35,648
But you got to know
how to play the game.
1253
00:57:35,650 --> 00:57:38,184
If a guy says he's 50, he's 60.
1254
00:57:38,186 --> 00:57:41,722
If he's 60, he's 70.
1255
00:57:41,724 --> 00:57:43,092
But you know what they call me?
1256
00:57:44,126 --> 00:57:45,995
A Boomer Hottie.
1257
00:57:46,961 --> 00:57:47,994
That's right.
1258
00:57:47,996 --> 00:57:50,898
Your aunt is still a hottie.
1259
00:57:50,900 --> 00:57:52,900
I used to keep just only
condoms and lube in my purse,
1260
00:57:52,902 --> 00:57:56,802
but now I keep a little
bottle of these devils
1261
00:57:56,804 --> 00:58:00,641
in case some guy wants to
take me over Viagra Falls.
1262
00:58:00,643 --> 00:58:03,012
Oh! Aunt Cindy!
1263
00:58:04,746 --> 00:58:05,945
What?!
1264
00:58:05,947 --> 00:58:06,979
You're disgusted that
an old woman like me
1265
00:58:06,981 --> 00:58:09,615
still likes to screw?
1266
00:58:09,617 --> 00:58:12,188
Honey, you're gonna
be me one day.
1267
00:58:13,989 --> 00:58:16,289
With this luck, who knows
if I'll ever get laid again.
1268
00:58:16,291 --> 00:58:18,325
Getting laid is the easy part.
1269
00:58:18,327 --> 00:58:19,793
Finding someone you
wanna wake up with
1270
00:58:19,795 --> 00:58:22,565
in the morning,
that's the bugger.
1271
00:58:27,268 --> 00:58:29,570
You know what?
1272
00:58:29,572 --> 00:58:31,037
You need to breath.
1273
00:58:31,039 --> 00:58:32,805
To unstress.
1274
00:58:32,807 --> 00:58:34,173
Go shopping.
1275
00:58:34,175 --> 00:58:35,342
You like shopping.
1276
00:58:35,344 --> 00:58:37,311
My sister likes shopping.
1277
00:58:37,313 --> 00:58:38,811
I'll keep an eye on things here.
1278
00:58:38,813 --> 00:58:41,014
I really don't
want you involved.
1279
00:58:41,016 --> 00:58:41,981
Who's involved?
1280
00:58:41,983 --> 00:58:44,684
I'm just watching the house.
1281
00:58:44,686 --> 00:58:45,889
Go.
1282
00:59:04,940 --> 00:59:06,106
Oh, thank God.
1283
00:59:06,108 --> 00:59:07,206
Are you Carly's mother?
1284
00:59:07,208 --> 00:59:08,809
I'm her aunt.
1285
00:59:08,811 --> 00:59:09,809
It doesn't matter.
1286
00:59:09,811 --> 00:59:10,776
Look, you got to help me.
1287
00:59:10,778 --> 00:59:11,912
You got to cut me out of this.
1288
00:59:11,914 --> 00:59:13,045
I think with a heavy
scissors we can...
1289
00:59:13,047 --> 00:59:15,551
She's a lovely
girl, don't you think?
1290
00:59:17,385 --> 00:59:19,221
I know what you're thinking.
1291
00:59:20,688 --> 00:59:23,826
You want to say the c-word.
1292
00:59:24,860 --> 00:59:27,730
I would too if I was
all bound up like you.
1293
00:59:28,731 --> 00:59:30,967
But from what I understand,
1294
00:59:32,768 --> 00:59:34,237
you're not completely
innocent here.
1295
00:59:36,038 --> 00:59:37,170
I slept with her.
1296
00:59:37,172 --> 00:59:38,639
That is all.
1297
00:59:38,641 --> 00:59:39,706
That's all?
1298
00:59:39,708 --> 00:59:40,374
That's all!
1299
00:59:40,376 --> 00:59:41,708
What the fuck!
1300
00:59:41,710 --> 00:59:42,708
You've got to get
me out of here.
1301
00:59:42,710 --> 00:59:43,809
Have a drink.
1302
00:59:43,811 --> 00:59:44,744
I don't want
anything to drink.
1303
00:59:44,746 --> 00:59:46,213
Just help me get out of this.
1304
00:59:46,215 --> 00:59:49,115
You look hot.
1305
00:59:49,117 --> 00:59:50,717
Have a drink.
1306
00:59:50,719 --> 00:59:52,786
Cool down.
1307
00:59:52,788 --> 00:59:55,057
Maybe we can work something out.
1308
01:00:01,396 --> 01:00:02,164
There.
1309
01:00:03,264 --> 01:00:04,766
So now what?
1310
01:00:06,135 --> 01:00:09,001
You know, I have never
seen a relationship problem
1311
01:00:09,003 --> 01:00:11,371
where the fault
was all one sided.
1312
01:00:11,373 --> 01:00:13,874
Well, you're looking at
Mr. Faultless, right now.
1313
01:00:13,876 --> 01:00:15,242
How old are you?
1314
01:00:15,244 --> 01:00:17,177
I'm 28.
1315
01:00:17,179 --> 01:00:18,278
Not 38?
1316
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:19,278
No!
1317
01:00:19,280 --> 01:00:20,479
Huh.
1318
01:00:20,481 --> 01:00:23,115
I guess men tell the truth about
their age until they're 30.
1319
01:00:23,117 --> 01:00:24,284
Okay.
1320
01:00:24,286 --> 01:00:25,184
You have to call the
police or something
1321
01:00:25,186 --> 01:00:26,853
or you're just as involved.
1322
01:00:26,855 --> 01:00:28,992
I don't know about that.
1323
01:00:31,025 --> 01:00:33,894
If I was every called
upon to say anything,
1324
01:00:33,896 --> 01:00:35,362
I would just tell them
1325
01:00:35,364 --> 01:00:38,432
I didn't want to get involved
in the kinky sexcapades
1326
01:00:38,434 --> 01:00:39,965
of the younger generation.
1327
01:00:39,967 --> 01:00:41,300
This isn't any kinky sex.
1328
01:00:41,302 --> 01:00:43,038
I'm being held here
against my will.
1329
01:00:47,108 --> 01:00:48,708
What are you doing?
1330
01:00:48,710 --> 01:00:51,146
Just checking to see if
the cast covered everything.
1331
01:00:55,250 --> 01:00:56,818
You're a baker?
1332
01:00:58,186 --> 01:01:00,954
You can tell I'm a baker
just by looking at my crotch?
1333
01:01:00,956 --> 01:01:02,456
Carly told me.
1334
01:01:02,458 --> 01:01:07,664
I love those chewy fudge
brownies with walnuts.
1335
01:01:09,030 --> 01:01:10,496
Do you make those?
1336
01:01:10,498 --> 01:01:12,733
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1337
01:01:12,735 --> 01:01:13,365
Brownies.
1338
01:01:13,367 --> 01:01:15,003
Do you make brownies?
1339
01:01:16,038 --> 01:01:17,003
Yes.
1340
01:01:17,005 --> 01:01:18,304
Bread pudding?
1341
01:01:18,306 --> 01:01:19,171
Yep.
1342
01:01:19,173 --> 01:01:20,273
Bread pudding.
1343
01:01:20,275 --> 01:01:21,474
Brownies, cakes,
challah, all of it.
1344
01:01:21,476 --> 01:01:23,045
Now help me!
1345
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:27,748
Have you every gone on one
of those online dating sites
1346
01:01:27,750 --> 01:01:29,883
where you put in all your
personal information?
1347
01:01:29,885 --> 01:01:31,220
Yes.
1348
01:01:31,987 --> 01:01:34,987
And you go one of those
dates from those sites
1349
01:01:34,989 --> 01:01:39,391
and it's like being
on an airplane
1350
01:01:39,393 --> 01:01:42,229
and it's taking you
to the wrong city.
1351
01:01:42,231 --> 01:01:43,366
You can't get off.
1352
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:46,802
Horrible.
1353
01:01:48,269 --> 01:01:52,007
I bet that is how Carly
is feeling right now.
1354
01:02:04,253 --> 01:02:06,920
I'm an open minded person.
1355
01:02:06,922 --> 01:02:08,356
I'm not very judgmental.
1356
01:02:09,423 --> 01:02:12,061
Everybody likes
something different.
1357
01:02:13,094 --> 01:02:16,932
But I'm a firm
believer in pleasure
1358
01:02:20,101 --> 01:02:21,834
for pleasure's sake.
1359
01:02:21,836 --> 01:02:22,869
What are you doing?
1360
01:02:28,076 --> 01:02:32,347
Just live in the moment.
1361
01:02:33,481 --> 01:02:34,817
The moment?
1362
01:02:36,050 --> 01:02:39,020
You don't have to
be modest with me.
1363
01:02:42,590 --> 01:02:46,027
We're going to play a game.
1364
01:02:47,929 --> 01:02:51,800
You know, pretend.
1365
01:02:52,568 --> 01:02:54,034
You patient.
1366
01:02:54,036 --> 01:02:56,036
Me nurse.
1367
01:03:02,844 --> 01:03:03,980
Jesus!
1368
01:03:20,228 --> 01:03:25,065
Carly, I just wanted to let
you know how sorry I am.
1369
01:03:25,067 --> 01:03:26,835
Genuinely sorry.
1370
01:03:29,570 --> 01:03:31,039
I know I hurt you.
1371
01:03:32,074 --> 01:03:35,474
Not that this flimsy
excuse suffices.
1372
01:03:35,476 --> 01:03:37,547
I mean what punishment
you've given me is deserved.
1373
01:03:40,081 --> 01:03:41,250
Truly deserved.
1374
01:03:42,217 --> 01:03:45,885
And I place no limit
on the fault I accept.
1375
01:03:45,887 --> 01:03:47,889
No one is to blame for this,
1376
01:03:50,626 --> 01:03:51,490
for all of this.
1377
01:03:51,492 --> 01:03:52,527
No one but me.
1378
01:03:55,130 --> 01:03:56,028
Milo Daily.
1379
01:04:00,969 --> 01:04:02,434
How was that?
1380
01:04:02,436 --> 01:04:03,538
Shallow.
1381
01:04:05,007 --> 01:04:06,108
I didn't buy it.
1382
01:04:07,608 --> 01:04:09,275
It wasn't a mistake.
1383
01:04:09,277 --> 01:04:10,512
We all make mistakes.
1384
01:04:11,512 --> 01:04:13,248
Yours was something deeper.
1385
01:04:14,282 --> 01:04:16,085
You made a life choice.
1386
01:04:17,619 --> 01:04:18,385
Then what?
1387
01:04:18,387 --> 01:04:19,686
What can I say?
1388
01:04:19,688 --> 01:04:21,390
What gets me out of this?
1389
01:04:22,423 --> 01:04:24,657
Maybe you need to grovel more.
1390
01:04:24,659 --> 01:04:26,126
"Carly, I am sick.
1391
01:04:26,128 --> 01:04:27,260
"I'm repulsive.
1392
01:04:27,262 --> 01:04:29,429
"I'm garbage."
1393
01:04:29,431 --> 01:04:30,396
I'm repulsive?
1394
01:04:30,398 --> 01:04:31,298
I'm garbage?
1395
01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:32,535
Abso-fuckin-lutely.
1396
01:04:34,268 --> 01:04:35,434
But don't feel bad.
1397
01:04:35,436 --> 01:04:36,568
You're not alone.
1398
01:04:36,570 --> 01:04:38,940
I have known a world
of cocksuckers.
1399
01:04:40,976 --> 01:04:42,278
So?
1400
01:04:45,447 --> 01:04:50,119
You liked fucking my niece
but did you like her?
1401
01:04:53,054 --> 01:04:56,055
Yeah, I did.
1402
01:04:56,057 --> 01:04:57,893
I think she's cute.
1403
01:04:59,027 --> 01:05:00,360
I have a puppy that's cute.
1404
01:05:00,362 --> 01:05:02,164
Like you're cute.
1405
01:05:04,166 --> 01:05:07,233
So maybe a more
romantic apology?
1406
01:05:07,235 --> 01:05:09,001
Is that what you're thinking?
1407
01:05:09,003 --> 01:05:12,271
"Carly, I know you
don't believe me,
1408
01:05:12,273 --> 01:05:14,476
"but I really want
you in my life.
1409
01:05:15,978 --> 01:05:16,642
"I love you."
1410
01:05:16,644 --> 01:05:17,610
Will the love card ork?
1411
01:05:17,612 --> 01:05:19,181
Not like that it won't.
1412
01:05:20,215 --> 01:05:21,581
Well, fuck!
1413
01:05:21,583 --> 01:05:24,717
I don't know what you the
fuck you want, what she wants.
1414
01:05:24,719 --> 01:05:28,088
You and your fuckin' niece
can go meet all your men
1415
01:05:28,090 --> 01:05:30,657
on Snatch dot com
or Okay Stupid,
1416
01:05:30,659 --> 01:05:33,059
just get me the
fuck out of here.
1417
01:05:33,061 --> 01:05:35,331
Oh, sweetheart.
1418
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:42,235
Maybe you need a little more
pain to make a sincere apology.
1419
01:05:45,740 --> 01:05:48,575
Hey, what do you mean?
1420
01:05:48,577 --> 01:05:50,677
What do you mean?!!
1421
01:05:54,148 --> 01:05:57,420
Hey, I'm not a bad guy!
1422
01:06:11,666 --> 01:06:13,099
Any trouble?
1423
01:06:13,101 --> 01:06:14,099
No. Not at all.
1424
01:06:14,101 --> 01:06:15,235
You remember Detrick?
1425
01:06:15,237 --> 01:06:16,702
Actually, I've
never met Detrick.
1426
01:06:16,704 --> 01:06:18,470
And is this really
the right time?
1427
01:06:18,472 --> 01:06:20,240
I told Detrick.
1428
01:06:20,242 --> 01:06:22,474
You told Detrick what?
1429
01:06:22,476 --> 01:06:23,309
Oh my god, Cindy!
1430
01:06:23,311 --> 01:06:24,644
What are you doing?
1431
01:06:24,646 --> 01:06:27,246
We're gone for two hours and
you complicate everything.
1432
01:06:27,248 --> 01:06:29,115
You complicate everything.
1433
01:06:29,117 --> 01:06:29,816
No, no, no.
1434
01:06:29,818 --> 01:06:31,383
It's all right, Mrs. Sagat.
1435
01:06:31,385 --> 01:06:33,519
I am on your side
for everything.
1436
01:06:33,521 --> 01:06:37,257
He's a terrible man and he
deserves everything he gets.
1437
01:06:37,259 --> 01:06:39,159
Oh, don't crinkle
up your forehead.
1438
01:06:39,161 --> 01:06:41,161
You are so beautiful.
1439
01:06:41,163 --> 01:06:43,829
All the women in this family are
so beautiful.
1440
01:06:43,831 --> 01:06:46,298
Your skin so smooth.
1441
01:06:46,300 --> 01:06:47,536
How I envy you.
1442
01:06:49,304 --> 01:06:50,670
Who are you?
1443
01:06:50,672 --> 01:06:52,838
Detrick is the premier
waxer at the Brazilian bar
1444
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:54,507
where Aunt Cindy and I go to.
1445
01:06:54,509 --> 01:06:56,108
You flatter me.
1446
01:06:56,110 --> 01:06:58,411
You should come by next time
with your daughter and sister.
1447
01:06:58,413 --> 01:07:01,280
The first treatment
I do for free.
1448
01:07:01,282 --> 01:07:05,552
I will make your vagina and anus
1449
01:07:05,554 --> 01:07:07,556
look like new.
1450
01:07:09,224 --> 01:07:10,326
New!
1451
01:07:11,092 --> 01:07:13,226
Cindy, why did
you invite him here?
1452
01:07:13,228 --> 01:07:16,095
That boy Carly has upstairs
has been taking advantage
1453
01:07:16,097 --> 01:07:18,264
of women all of his life.
1454
01:07:18,266 --> 01:07:19,231
Honey, allow me.
1455
01:07:19,233 --> 01:07:20,700
He has no respect for women;
1456
01:07:20,702 --> 01:07:24,436
no idea what women go through
in their relationships.
1457
01:07:24,438 --> 01:07:28,043
In order to have compassion
you must know the pain.
1458
01:07:29,143 --> 01:07:31,110
So I manscaped him.
1459
01:07:31,112 --> 01:07:32,244
You did what?
1460
01:07:32,246 --> 01:07:33,880
Just a Brazilian.
1461
01:07:33,882 --> 01:07:35,782
And an anal bleaching.
1462
01:07:35,784 --> 01:07:38,851
I waxed his scrotum,
pubic and anal area
1463
01:07:38,853 --> 01:07:41,089
and whitened him wonderfully.
1464
01:07:41,822 --> 01:07:43,423
I was as gentle as I always am.
1465
01:07:43,425 --> 01:07:44,891
But he was such a child.
1466
01:07:44,893 --> 01:07:47,860
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
1467
01:07:47,862 --> 01:07:50,229
Such a pussy.
1468
01:07:50,231 --> 01:07:51,463
Cindy took pictures.
1469
01:07:51,465 --> 01:07:52,434
Yes.
1470
01:07:54,135 --> 01:07:55,267
We found him like this.
1471
01:07:55,269 --> 01:07:57,369
We think he was
trying to escape.
1472
01:07:57,371 --> 01:07:58,338
So we thought we should cuff him
1473
01:07:58,340 --> 01:07:59,639
so he wouldn't try that again.
1474
01:07:59,641 --> 01:08:01,340
I hid my identity.
1475
01:08:01,342 --> 01:08:02,411
He was a screamer.
1476
01:08:03,577 --> 01:08:05,744
I made him smooth as a baby.
1477
01:08:05,746 --> 01:08:10,150
Cheek to cheek and
all dressed up.
1478
01:08:10,152 --> 01:08:13,286
He clearly was not into
having a good appearance
1479
01:08:13,288 --> 01:08:15,688
and good hygiene down there.
1480
01:08:15,690 --> 01:08:18,191
But what do you expect
from somebody like that.
1481
01:08:18,193 --> 01:08:21,797
But now, his ass and balls are
more kissable than his face.
1482
01:08:23,398 --> 01:08:28,404
But then he had the snow balls.
1483
01:08:28,770 --> 01:08:31,236
So we took him
outside to tan a bit.
1484
01:08:31,238 --> 01:08:32,240
What?
1485
01:08:48,890 --> 01:08:50,889
I'm here, I am ready, my love.
1486
01:08:50,891 --> 01:08:52,258
And you are?
1487
01:08:57,532 --> 01:08:59,299
I am so sorry.
1488
01:08:59,301 --> 01:09:00,433
She is my fiancee.
1489
01:09:00,435 --> 01:09:01,534
That.
1490
01:09:01,536 --> 01:09:03,268
I told her she
could come right in.
1491
01:09:03,270 --> 01:09:06,673
Thank you so very
much for your help.
1492
01:09:06,675 --> 01:09:08,308
No.
1493
01:09:08,310 --> 01:09:11,413
Thank you for letting me be a
part of this beautiful crime.
1494
01:09:16,417 --> 01:09:17,652
And I hope you don't mind.
1495
01:09:18,752 --> 01:09:20,588
I gave him a Prince Albert.
1496
01:09:21,789 --> 01:09:23,455
What is a Prince Albert?
1497
01:09:36,537 --> 01:09:37,236
Okay.
1498
01:09:37,238 --> 01:09:38,437
Whatever.
1499
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:39,238
It's just something
to please the ladies.
1500
01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:39,841
You will love it.
1501
01:09:41,710 --> 01:09:42,912
Stop that one!
1502
01:09:44,311 --> 01:09:45,844
Don't rush me, all the time!
1503
01:09:45,846 --> 01:09:47,981
Isn't it beautiful?
1504
01:09:47,983 --> 01:09:51,584
There is someone for everyone.
1505
01:09:51,586 --> 01:09:55,888
Oh, I should tell you the
gods were smiling on us today.
1506
01:09:55,890 --> 01:09:58,391
Thank god for that ball gag.
1507
01:09:58,393 --> 01:09:59,491
Why?
1508
01:09:59,493 --> 01:10:00,326
A policeman showed
up while Detrick
1509
01:10:00,328 --> 01:10:01,527
was doing his business.
1510
01:10:01,529 --> 01:10:02,728
If he would have yelled...
1511
01:10:02,730 --> 01:10:03,896
A policeman?!
1512
01:10:03,898 --> 01:10:05,697
He wanted to talk
to you but I told him
1513
01:10:05,699 --> 01:10:06,465
you weren't here.
1514
01:10:06,467 --> 01:10:07,366
So he left.
1515
01:10:07,368 --> 01:10:08,701
That's all?
1516
01:10:08,703 --> 01:10:10,469
He didn't say more.
1517
01:10:10,471 --> 01:10:11,870
I didn't ask more.
1518
01:10:11,872 --> 01:10:13,539
Oh my god, a policeman!
1519
01:10:13,541 --> 01:10:15,040
He's going to come back!
1520
01:10:15,042 --> 01:10:16,942
Fudge! Fudge! Fudge!
1521
01:10:16,944 --> 01:10:18,880
Oh, Laurie, just say fuck.
1522
01:10:21,649 --> 01:10:24,219
Deep breaths.
1523
01:10:25,386 --> 01:10:27,222
Deep breaths.
1524
01:10:28,789 --> 01:10:30,356
Did you take your Xanax?
1525
01:10:30,358 --> 01:10:31,557
Yes.
1526
01:10:31,559 --> 01:10:32,927
Take another.
1527
01:10:34,595 --> 01:10:37,597
Look, these things have a way
of working themselves out.
1528
01:10:37,599 --> 01:10:38,998
Your mother's the pessimist.
1529
01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:40,833
Your father's a
cockeyed optimist.
1530
01:10:40,835 --> 01:10:43,068
But you are the pragmatist.
1531
01:10:43,070 --> 01:10:45,037
I am not a pessimist.
1532
01:10:45,039 --> 01:10:47,676
It's just that we're
all going to jail.
1533
01:10:48,643 --> 01:10:49,509
I talked to your father.
1534
01:10:49,511 --> 01:10:50,710
He's coming home soon.
1535
01:10:50,712 --> 01:10:52,411
He'll help you get
him back upstairs.
1536
01:10:52,413 --> 01:10:55,748
And then I think the right
time and idea will come.
1537
01:10:55,750 --> 01:10:56,952
What makes you think so?
1538
01:10:57,952 --> 01:10:59,288
You fucked up.
1539
01:10:59,887 --> 01:11:02,522
But I've fucked up
plenty of times.
1540
01:11:02,524 --> 01:11:04,089
And look at me.
1541
01:11:04,091 --> 01:11:05,924
I'm not a pessimist.
1542
01:11:05,926 --> 01:11:07,727
You don't know when
things are serious.
1543
01:11:07,729 --> 01:11:09,331
This is serious.
1544
01:11:10,798 --> 01:11:13,269
Keep sharp things
away from your mother.
1545
01:11:24,712 --> 01:11:26,381
Happy Mardi Gras!
1546
01:11:32,787 --> 01:11:34,720
They really messed
you up, huh kid?
1547
01:11:34,722 --> 01:11:35,620
Mr. Sagat?
1548
01:11:35,622 --> 01:11:36,958
- If you just...
- Shh.
1549
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:40,296
I don't want to hear from you.
1550
01:11:44,099 --> 01:11:46,933
I've been listening in
my head to everything
1551
01:11:46,935 --> 01:11:50,937
that can be said from
you, from my daughter,
1552
01:11:50,939 --> 01:11:54,543
and my wife, and I don't
want to hear anymore.
1553
01:11:55,476 --> 01:11:56,577
Nope.
1554
01:11:59,980 --> 01:12:01,684
Want something
that's really tasty?
1555
01:12:02,850 --> 01:12:03,950
There you go.
1556
01:12:03,952 --> 01:12:04,951
Don't spill it.
1557
01:12:04,953 --> 01:12:06,451
Don't spill it.
1558
01:12:06,453 --> 01:12:08,388
Don't spill it.
1559
01:12:08,390 --> 01:12:09,121
Oh, no good.
1560
01:12:09,123 --> 01:12:10,490
You spilled it.
1561
01:12:10,492 --> 01:12:12,994
You're wasting good booze, dude.
1562
01:12:14,628 --> 01:12:16,129
Really good.
1563
01:12:16,131 --> 01:12:19,868
This, this is just silliness.
1564
01:12:20,868 --> 01:12:23,104
Oh, man!
1565
01:12:25,073 --> 01:12:27,473
I like the Dodgers this year.
1566
01:12:27,475 --> 01:12:29,776
Yeah, I like the Dodgers.
1567
01:12:29,778 --> 01:12:33,548
I like the Dodgers every year
but this year they don't suck.
1568
01:12:35,949 --> 01:12:37,616
I got season tickets.
1569
01:12:37,618 --> 01:12:39,485
Behind the dug-out.
1570
01:12:39,487 --> 01:12:42,120
Yeah! I said...
1571
01:12:42,122 --> 01:12:45,491
♪ Take me out to the ballgame
1572
01:12:45,493 --> 01:12:48,160
♪ Take me out with the crowd
1573
01:12:48,162 --> 01:12:51,196
♪ Buy me some peanuts
and crackerjacks
1574
01:12:51,198 --> 01:12:53,900
♪ I don't care if
I never come back
1575
01:12:53,902 --> 01:12:55,168
♪ For it's
1576
01:12:55,170 --> 01:12:57,035
Root, root, root
1577
01:12:57,037 --> 01:12:58,504
♪ For the home team
1578
01:12:58,506 --> 01:12:59,504
Stay with me.
1579
01:12:59,506 --> 01:13:01,540
♪ If they don't win it's a shame
1580
01:13:01,542 --> 01:13:02,709
♪ For it's
1581
01:13:02,711 --> 01:13:06,914
♪ One, two, three strikes
you're out at the old ball game
1582
01:13:08,649 --> 01:13:10,683
That was great.
1583
01:13:10,685 --> 01:13:12,585
That was great.
1584
01:13:12,587 --> 01:13:15,120
We're so good with
that together.
1585
01:13:15,122 --> 01:13:17,960
You know, that was great.
1586
01:13:19,527 --> 01:13:21,626
I've been trying to
think of, you know,
1587
01:13:21,628 --> 01:13:24,664
other things besides this.
1588
01:13:24,666 --> 01:13:26,199
Like, you know, baseball.
1589
01:13:26,201 --> 01:13:28,166
I know what you're thinking.
1590
01:13:28,168 --> 01:13:32,537
I know you're thinking what's
the answer to all this.
1591
01:13:32,539 --> 01:13:35,476
Gee, golly, whiz,
what's the answer?
1592
01:13:36,743 --> 01:13:38,744
I've got the ultimate answer.
1593
01:13:38,746 --> 01:13:40,580
It's the biological imperative.
1594
01:13:40,582 --> 01:13:43,215
If you ever have kids of
your own, you'll know.
1595
01:13:43,217 --> 01:13:46,218
You're always gonna love
blood, no matter what.
1596
01:13:46,220 --> 01:13:47,986
No matter what they do.
1597
01:13:47,988 --> 01:13:52,126
No matter what they become.
1598
01:13:53,828 --> 01:13:55,864
Why do you look so
pissed off at me?
1599
01:13:57,097 --> 01:13:59,565
Why do you, what the
fuck did I do to you?
1600
01:13:59,567 --> 01:14:00,569
Huh?
1601
01:14:03,238 --> 01:14:06,738
Man, I caught a tooth.
1602
01:14:10,511 --> 01:14:12,713
That's all the pain
I'm gonna cause you
1603
01:14:15,015 --> 01:14:16,117
for now.
1604
01:14:17,118 --> 01:14:21,123
Hey, good talk.
1605
01:14:25,126 --> 01:14:26,128
Yeah.
1606
01:14:27,261 --> 01:14:28,697
Good talk.
1607
01:14:42,810 --> 01:14:44,146
- Hey baby.
- Dad!
1608
01:14:45,579 --> 01:14:46,978
These are your best friends.
1609
01:14:46,980 --> 01:14:48,281
They care about you.
1610
01:14:48,283 --> 01:14:49,615
Let them help.
1611
01:14:49,617 --> 01:14:50,683
Dad, isn't it enough
that I'm already
1612
01:14:50,685 --> 01:14:52,183
in a shitload of trouble?
1613
01:14:52,185 --> 01:14:53,885
I didn't want anybody
else involved.
1614
01:14:53,887 --> 01:14:54,887
It's not your fault.
1615
01:14:54,889 --> 01:14:55,720
He's a scumbag.
1616
01:14:55,722 --> 01:14:56,722
It was an accident.
1617
01:14:56,724 --> 01:14:58,089
Look, she shouldn't have
to have her life ruined
1618
01:14:58,091 --> 01:14:59,625
because the guy's
allergic to shit.
1619
01:14:59,627 --> 01:15:01,727
We're going to
fix this together.
1620
01:15:01,729 --> 01:15:04,296
Your mother is not coping
well with this, Princess.
1621
01:15:04,298 --> 01:15:05,731
I'm more worried
about her right now
1622
01:15:05,733 --> 01:15:06,999
than I am about you.
1623
01:15:07,001 --> 01:15:08,768
I'm gonna take her
away for a bit.
1624
01:15:08,770 --> 01:15:10,736
But I am going to work this out.
1625
01:15:10,738 --> 01:15:11,840
I promise.
1626
01:15:18,645 --> 01:15:19,978
What are you gonna do?
1627
01:15:19,980 --> 01:15:21,617
I have no idea.
1628
01:15:23,117 --> 01:15:24,049
Did you ever think about just
1629
01:15:24,051 --> 01:15:25,520
killing the son of a bitch?
1630
01:15:26,654 --> 01:15:28,853
Yeah, that was my Mom's idea.
1631
01:15:28,855 --> 01:15:30,322
Your Mom's so fucking cool.
1632
01:15:30,324 --> 01:15:31,824
But she's crazy.
1633
01:15:31,826 --> 01:15:33,795
Yeah, but she's
so fucking cool.
1634
01:15:40,201 --> 01:15:42,802
Your driver's license fell
out of your pant's pocket.
1635
01:15:42,804 --> 01:15:45,670
Your name is Milo
Daily, not Steve.
1636
01:15:45,672 --> 01:15:46,938
Okay, I lied.
1637
01:15:46,940 --> 01:15:49,208
But I just wanted
you to like me.
1638
01:15:49,210 --> 01:15:50,343
You gave me an STD.
1639
01:15:50,345 --> 01:15:52,812
- It wasn't me.
- It was you.
1640
01:15:52,814 --> 01:15:54,112
Come on. Come on.
1641
01:15:54,114 --> 01:15:55,281
Can't we just start all over?
1642
01:15:55,283 --> 01:15:56,715
You and me.
1643
01:15:56,717 --> 01:15:57,952
The real me.
1644
01:15:59,720 --> 01:16:00,721
Okay.
1645
01:16:01,756 --> 01:16:03,054
We'll forget this ever happened.
1646
01:16:03,056 --> 01:16:04,225
We'll start over.
1647
01:16:11,265 --> 01:16:13,199
I don't get it,
you fucked him?!
1648
01:16:13,201 --> 01:16:16,001
Oh, it's as if you've
made perfect choices.
1649
01:16:16,003 --> 01:16:16,936
I don't know.
1650
01:16:16,938 --> 01:16:18,236
He's not that bad looking
1651
01:16:18,238 --> 01:16:20,238
and according to your
text you sent me...
1652
01:16:20,240 --> 01:16:21,877
Shh, shut up.
1653
01:16:23,110 --> 01:16:25,210
We'll just say you had
some nice things to say.
1654
01:16:25,212 --> 01:16:27,879
Well, you think things
are gonna work out?
1655
01:16:27,881 --> 01:16:30,116
Whatdaya want to do with him?
1656
01:16:30,118 --> 01:16:31,687
Carly?
1657
01:16:34,689 --> 01:16:36,254
I got it, Carly.
1658
01:16:36,256 --> 01:16:38,257
You could get your
hands on a pacemaker.
1659
01:16:38,259 --> 01:16:40,125
And we'll modify it
with some explosives
1660
01:16:40,127 --> 01:16:42,093
and stick it inside his chest
1661
01:16:42,095 --> 01:16:43,864
so that when he
goes to the police.
1662
01:16:45,132 --> 01:16:46,766
Boom!
1663
01:16:46,768 --> 01:16:48,733
You know what? Fuck it.
1664
01:16:48,735 --> 01:16:51,036
I don't need to hide
from this bastard.
1665
01:16:51,038 --> 01:16:52,707
I'm not afraid of him.
1666
01:16:55,208 --> 01:16:58,143
Carly, I want
to say, I'm sorry.
1667
01:16:58,145 --> 01:17:00,111
I'm very sorry.
1668
01:17:00,113 --> 01:17:04,950
I'm genuinely, genuinely
sorry for everything...
1669
01:17:04,952 --> 01:17:06,184
You're sorry.
1670
01:17:06,186 --> 01:17:08,289
So, sorry.
1671
01:17:09,823 --> 01:17:11,022
Where did you find these two?
1672
01:17:11,024 --> 01:17:13,358
The girl with the snake
tattoo and Goldilocks?
1673
01:17:13,360 --> 01:17:15,093
What, do you got the
three bears coming later?
1674
01:17:15,095 --> 01:17:16,829
This is not a snake.
1675
01:17:16,831 --> 01:17:18,164
It's a serpent.
1676
01:17:18,166 --> 01:17:20,098
And what makes you think
there's gonna be a later?
1677
01:17:20,100 --> 01:17:22,401
Why are guys like this
always such assholes?
1678
01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:24,102
What do you mean
guys like this?
1679
01:17:24,104 --> 01:17:26,405
Guys who have been
drugged, stabbed, pierced,
1680
01:17:26,407 --> 01:17:28,406
kidnapped, all
trussed up in a cast?
1681
01:17:28,408 --> 01:17:29,942
Not to mention...
1682
01:17:29,944 --> 01:17:32,244
Guys that put on airs to
get laid and then disappear.
1683
01:17:32,246 --> 01:17:34,045
I didn't disappear.
1684
01:17:34,047 --> 01:17:36,014
Carly, I didn't disappear.
1685
01:17:36,016 --> 01:17:38,084
Okay, I go out with a girl.
1686
01:17:38,086 --> 01:17:40,452
You know and if it works
out, I go out again.
1687
01:17:40,454 --> 01:17:42,287
And sometimes something happens.
1688
01:17:42,289 --> 01:17:45,023
Or someone, and you move on.
1689
01:17:45,025 --> 01:17:46,125
I mean, that's not a sin.
1690
01:17:46,127 --> 01:17:47,058
That's life.
1691
01:17:47,060 --> 01:17:48,396
Oh my God, I've got it.
1692
01:17:49,329 --> 01:17:50,862
We pour whiskey down his throat,
1693
01:17:50,864 --> 01:17:52,231
get him shit faced drunk,
1694
01:17:52,233 --> 01:17:54,933
and then throw him unconscious
into the street somewhere.
1695
01:17:54,935 --> 01:17:56,335
By the time the cops find
him and he sobers up,
1696
01:17:56,337 --> 01:17:58,403
they're not going to
believe his crazy story.
1697
01:17:58,405 --> 01:18:01,042
That's actually a great idea.
1698
01:18:01,975 --> 01:18:03,075
Think about it.
1699
01:18:03,077 --> 01:18:04,910
If he shows 'em
the cast abrasions,
1700
01:18:04,912 --> 01:18:07,746
his pierced dick and the
needle puncture to his heart,
1701
01:18:07,748 --> 01:18:09,180
they might believe him.
1702
01:18:09,182 --> 01:18:11,217
Really? Now you're gonna
start thinking clearly?
1703
01:18:11,219 --> 01:18:13,952
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
1704
01:18:13,954 --> 01:18:15,321
Tammy!
1705
01:18:15,323 --> 01:18:18,089
I could fucking kill
this cocksucker myself!
1706
01:18:18,091 --> 01:18:19,360
Calm down. Get down.
1707
01:18:22,329 --> 01:18:24,095
Come on, Blondy?
1708
01:18:24,097 --> 01:18:26,132
Any more brilliant
ideas or are you just
1709
01:18:26,134 --> 01:18:28,235
gonna keep flashing
me your cooz all day?
1710
01:18:30,371 --> 01:18:32,504
Fucking let me
punch him in the face!
1711
01:18:32,506 --> 01:18:34,839
Why is she such a cunt!?
1712
01:18:34,841 --> 01:18:36,241
Okay.
1713
01:18:36,243 --> 01:18:38,244
Here we go, ladies.
1714
01:18:38,246 --> 01:18:39,477
Thank you.
1715
01:18:39,479 --> 01:18:41,312
Say cheese!
1716
01:18:41,314 --> 01:18:42,451
Hilary?
1717
01:18:44,918 --> 01:18:47,452
Carly, come on,
I know I fucked up.
1718
01:18:47,454 --> 01:18:49,155
But don't let these
friends of yours
1719
01:18:49,157 --> 01:18:51,089
talk you into doing
something crazy.
1720
01:18:51,091 --> 01:18:53,027
Something crazier than
you've already done.
1721
01:18:56,863 --> 01:18:58,563
Don't get any ideas.
1722
01:18:58,565 --> 01:19:02,269
That was just a token to
say, I'm really sorry.
1723
01:19:04,971 --> 01:19:05,974
Carly.
1724
01:19:14,282 --> 01:19:16,816
Come girls, think
about what you're doing.
1725
01:19:16,818 --> 01:19:18,116
I'm a human being,
I make mistakes.
1726
01:19:18,118 --> 01:19:19,552
We all make mistakes.
1727
01:19:19,554 --> 01:19:21,586
Don't do something you're
gonna feel sorry for.
1728
01:19:21,588 --> 01:19:23,024
He's not going to fit.
1729
01:19:24,024 --> 01:19:25,493
- I will make him fit.
- Put that down!
1730
01:19:26,828 --> 01:19:28,160
Carly, tell her
to put that down.
1731
01:19:28,162 --> 01:19:29,460
Don't bother, that won't work.
1732
01:19:29,462 --> 01:19:30,798
Thank you.
1733
01:19:34,836 --> 01:19:35,934
What the fuck?!
1734
01:19:35,936 --> 01:19:37,169
When did this become
a horror movie?!
1735
01:19:37,171 --> 01:19:38,070
Will you shut up!
1736
01:19:38,072 --> 01:19:39,237
Don't be such a pussy!
1737
01:19:39,239 --> 01:19:41,206
Allow me.
1738
01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:42,911
Don't allow her.
1739
01:19:46,079 --> 01:19:48,848
Carly, don't plug it in.
1740
01:19:48,850 --> 01:19:49,581
I'm plugging it in.
1741
01:20:02,462 --> 01:20:03,965
She's sorry.
1742
01:20:05,466 --> 01:20:07,165
It was an accident.
1743
01:20:07,167 --> 01:20:09,500
Well, if he
wouldn't have moved...
1744
01:20:09,502 --> 01:20:11,135
All right, let's
get him in the car.
1745
01:20:29,623 --> 01:20:30,958
Fuck!
1746
01:20:34,060 --> 01:20:35,429
You know I know what's going on.
1747
01:20:37,097 --> 01:20:38,500
The police are looking for me.
1748
01:20:40,568 --> 01:20:42,470
Someone came to the
house, didn't they?
1749
01:20:44,171 --> 01:20:46,141
I told you this would
end badly for you.
1750
01:20:48,109 --> 01:20:50,075
You know, if you
girls let me go now,
1751
01:20:50,077 --> 01:20:51,242
we can put all of
this behind us.
1752
01:20:51,244 --> 01:20:53,381
What, you're just
gonna not say anything?
1753
01:20:55,649 --> 01:20:57,952
I just want this
nightmare to end.
1754
01:20:59,386 --> 01:21:01,387
The police are
not looking for you.
1755
01:21:01,389 --> 01:21:03,656
Nobody is looking for you.
1756
01:21:03,658 --> 01:21:05,391
You're a missing person.
1757
01:21:05,393 --> 01:21:07,992
Like a million other
missing persons.
1758
01:21:07,994 --> 01:21:08,928
Tammy, don't rile him up.
1759
01:21:08,930 --> 01:21:10,062
There's no point in that.
1760
01:21:10,064 --> 01:21:10,995
We'll stop and get
something to eat
1761
01:21:10,997 --> 01:21:12,130
and then we'll keep going.
1762
01:21:24,145 --> 01:21:24,977
So
that's a Freedom Burger
1763
01:21:24,979 --> 01:21:26,277
and a coke.
1764
01:21:26,279 --> 01:21:27,579
Yeah, go ahead.
1765
01:21:27,581 --> 01:21:29,647
Say something.
1766
01:21:29,649 --> 01:21:31,250
Next
window please.
1767
01:21:39,493 --> 01:21:40,962
I don't like pickles.
1768
01:21:41,996 --> 01:21:44,065
You should have spoken up.
1769
01:21:45,399 --> 01:21:48,069
I didn't want to get
castrated over pickles.
1770
01:21:51,671 --> 01:21:53,237
You girls didn't get anything?
1771
01:21:53,239 --> 01:21:54,639
I don't eat flesh.
1772
01:21:54,641 --> 01:21:57,479
I don't eat nasty,
artery clogging junk food.
1773
01:21:58,546 --> 01:22:00,582
Oh, the princesses
don't eat junk food.
1774
01:22:03,149 --> 01:22:04,583
What makes you think I
wanted to eat this shit?
1775
01:22:04,585 --> 01:22:06,151
Because you're eating it.
1776
01:22:06,153 --> 01:22:07,251
I'm your prisoner.
1777
01:22:07,253 --> 01:22:08,355
I really don't have
a choice, do I?
1778
01:22:09,390 --> 01:22:10,455
What do you girls do?
1779
01:22:10,457 --> 01:22:12,057
Are you nurses too?
1780
01:22:12,059 --> 01:22:13,424
You don't need to
know anything about us
1781
01:22:13,426 --> 01:22:16,628
except we don't like people
who fuck over our friends.
1782
01:22:16,630 --> 01:22:17,998
That's bullshit!
1783
01:22:18,733 --> 01:22:20,566
The other night she
liked it just fine.
1784
01:22:20,568 --> 01:22:22,534
You're so full of it.
1785
01:22:22,536 --> 01:22:24,035
You know what
I've always noticed
1786
01:22:24,037 --> 01:22:26,338
about guys with big egos
and little dicks is that
1787
01:22:26,340 --> 01:22:28,510
it makes faking
it so much easier.
1788
01:22:30,277 --> 01:22:32,277
She wasn't faking it.
1789
01:22:32,279 --> 01:22:34,112
Oh really?
1790
01:22:34,114 --> 01:22:36,647
Did she sound something
kinda like this?
1791
01:22:38,185 --> 01:22:39,384
Kind of like that?
1792
01:22:50,363 --> 01:22:52,097
You girls think that's
what guys like to hear?
1793
01:22:52,099 --> 01:22:53,665
You fucking sound constipated.
1794
01:22:53,667 --> 01:22:55,003
Shut up!
1795
01:23:00,440 --> 01:23:02,340
You know if you
drive over state lines,
1796
01:23:02,342 --> 01:23:04,108
that's a federal offense.
1797
01:23:04,110 --> 01:23:05,277
Idiot.
1798
01:23:05,279 --> 01:23:07,248
Kidnapping is already
a federal offense.
1799
01:23:10,150 --> 01:23:11,150
And how long do you
think it will take
1800
01:23:11,152 --> 01:23:12,619
for the Feds to find you guys?
1801
01:23:13,654 --> 01:23:15,687
The warrior princess
1802
01:23:15,689 --> 01:23:18,493
and legally blond whose carpet
doesn't match the drapes.
1803
01:23:19,793 --> 01:23:22,727
Throw him out of the
car right fucking now!
1804
01:23:22,729 --> 01:23:23,695
Okay, okay, okay.
1805
01:23:23,697 --> 01:23:25,097
We are almost there.
1806
01:23:25,099 --> 01:23:26,266
Where?
1807
01:23:27,768 --> 01:23:29,401
To a landfill.
1808
01:23:29,403 --> 01:23:33,138
We're going to bury you
up to your neck in shit
1809
01:23:33,140 --> 01:23:34,542
where you will fit right in.
1810
01:23:46,554 --> 01:23:48,419
What the fuck, you
almost killed us.
1811
01:23:48,421 --> 01:23:50,391
Hey, I'm not gonna
just let you kill me.
1812
01:23:52,460 --> 01:23:53,724
Tammy, don't.
1813
01:23:53,726 --> 01:23:55,427
What the fuck do you care?!
1814
01:23:55,429 --> 01:23:57,129
It's not just him.
1815
01:23:57,131 --> 01:23:58,563
I fucked up too.
1816
01:23:58,565 --> 01:23:59,565
Oh, God.
1817
01:23:59,567 --> 01:24:01,599
Okay, just get out of the car.
1818
01:24:01,601 --> 01:24:03,037
I'm gonna drive.
1819
01:24:23,823 --> 01:24:25,225
Evening ladies.
1820
01:24:48,748 --> 01:24:50,616
Who are you?
1821
01:24:53,253 --> 01:24:55,320
You're the Nana?
1822
01:24:55,322 --> 01:24:57,158
Of course, you're the Nana.
1823
01:25:02,930 --> 01:25:04,298
Where are the girls?
1824
01:25:07,868 --> 01:25:09,902
Now, I don't know
what Carly told you
1825
01:25:09,904 --> 01:25:11,637
but this is the truth.
1826
01:25:11,639 --> 01:25:15,406
All we did was go out
on a date, that's all.
1827
01:25:15,408 --> 01:25:17,342
Okay?
1828
01:25:17,344 --> 01:25:18,943
And even though we
fucked... I'm sorry.
1829
01:25:18,945 --> 01:25:21,245
That was a little
vulgar, I know.
1830
01:25:21,247 --> 01:25:23,781
But you know what, screw it!
1831
01:25:23,783 --> 01:25:24,685
Screw it!
1832
01:25:26,787 --> 01:25:28,423
I had no intentions.
1833
01:25:29,390 --> 01:25:30,321
We had a good time.
1834
01:25:30,323 --> 01:25:31,255
We went back to her place.
1835
01:25:31,257 --> 01:25:32,257
I didn't think we'd screw.
1836
01:25:32,259 --> 01:25:34,526
You know, I thought I'd
get like a blow job or...
1837
01:25:34,528 --> 01:25:36,164
Sorry, I didn't...
1838
01:25:36,963 --> 01:25:41,465
Look, your granddaughter thinks
1839
01:25:41,467 --> 01:25:44,402
I gave her some disease
like syphilis or something.
1840
01:25:44,404 --> 01:25:45,803
I'm not even sure you
can still get syphilis.
1841
01:25:45,805 --> 01:25:47,174
But it wasn't me.
1842
01:25:48,408 --> 01:25:49,576
And I wish I could...
1843
01:25:51,578 --> 01:25:53,411
Listen, I know you don't
want to hear anything
1844
01:25:53,413 --> 01:25:56,583
bad about your
granddaughter but Carly's...
1845
01:26:02,922 --> 01:26:05,292
You have got to let me go.
1846
01:26:48,502 --> 01:26:49,433
Where did you get that, Nana?
1847
01:26:49,435 --> 01:26:50,537
Why don't you put that down?
1848
01:26:51,639 --> 01:26:54,973
Okay, the whole poor burglar
1849
01:26:54,975 --> 01:26:56,674
getting shot by
the grandma thing,
1850
01:26:56,676 --> 01:26:58,343
it ain't gonna work
this time, okay?
1851
01:26:58,345 --> 01:26:59,577
So why don't you
just put that down
1852
01:26:59,579 --> 01:27:00,681
and I'm gonna go?
1853
01:27:02,548 --> 01:27:03,882
You're fucking crazy.
1854
01:27:03,884 --> 01:27:05,720
Nana, what are you doing?
1855
01:27:06,753 --> 01:27:08,019
Give me the gun.
1856
01:27:08,021 --> 01:27:09,388
She doesn't even talk.
1857
01:27:09,390 --> 01:27:10,621
She just shoots.
1858
01:27:10,623 --> 01:27:11,893
Give me the gun.
1859
01:27:16,663 --> 01:27:17,898
Nana!
1860
01:27:29,076 --> 01:27:31,876
Yes, this is 363 Carob.
1861
01:27:31,878 --> 01:27:33,312
There's been a shooting.
1862
01:27:33,314 --> 01:27:34,646
Please send an ambulance.
1863
01:27:34,648 --> 01:27:35,479
It was an accident.
1864
01:27:35,481 --> 01:27:36,315
My grandmother.
1865
01:27:36,317 --> 01:27:37,549
Yeah, there's no pulse.
1866
01:27:37,551 --> 01:27:39,384
Yes, 363 Carob.
1867
01:27:39,386 --> 01:27:40,388
It's a house.
1868
01:27:42,088 --> 01:27:44,524
Nana, come on!
1869
01:27:45,426 --> 01:27:47,659
Why don't you
shoot me too, okay?
1870
01:27:47,661 --> 01:27:49,794
I don't care, just
fucking shoot me!
1871
01:27:49,796 --> 01:27:51,530
It wasn't my fault.
1872
01:27:51,532 --> 01:27:52,464
You win, okay?
1873
01:27:52,466 --> 01:27:54,398
You can fucking put me in jail.
1874
01:27:54,400 --> 01:27:55,767
I don't care.
1875
01:27:55,769 --> 01:27:57,902
Just put the gun down and
get the fuck out of here.
1876
01:28:20,426 --> 01:28:22,093
You've gotta be
fucking kidding me.
1877
01:28:22,095 --> 01:28:24,731
Mom, Dad, it didn't work.
1878
01:28:29,837 --> 01:28:31,769
Tammy, that's not
part of the plan.
1879
01:28:33,806 --> 01:28:35,440
Everybody calm down.
1880
01:28:35,442 --> 01:28:36,708
I'm sorry.
1881
01:28:36,710 --> 01:28:38,777
I told you I needed
more rehearsal.
1882
01:28:38,779 --> 01:28:39,844
It's all right, Nana.
1883
01:28:39,846 --> 01:28:41,146
Are we still
going to breakfast?
1884
01:28:41,148 --> 01:28:42,380
We'll talk about
that later, Mom.
1885
01:28:42,382 --> 01:28:43,615
I told you this wouldn't work.
1886
01:28:43,617 --> 01:28:44,782
It was a good idea.
1887
01:28:44,784 --> 01:28:46,117
We'll just have to work
something else out.
1888
01:28:46,119 --> 01:28:47,419
What the fuck is there
to work out, you're crazy.
1889
01:28:47,421 --> 01:28:48,586
Even the old bitch is crazy.
1890
01:28:48,588 --> 01:28:49,787
Shut up!
1891
01:28:49,789 --> 01:28:51,123
No one calls my mother
a bitch, you asshole.
1892
01:28:51,125 --> 01:28:52,523
Hey, hey, hey, wait a minute!
1893
01:28:52,525 --> 01:28:53,458
Shut up!
1894
01:28:53,460 --> 01:28:54,025
Laurie, how'd you get that?
1895
01:28:54,027 --> 01:28:55,393
I hid it.
1896
01:28:55,395 --> 01:28:56,027
You hide everything
in the same place,
1897
01:28:56,029 --> 01:28:56,861
your underwear drawer.
1898
01:28:56,863 --> 01:28:57,696
Let me shoot him.
1899
01:28:57,698 --> 01:28:58,597
Mom, don't shoot him.
1900
01:28:58,599 --> 01:28:59,130
Just fucking shoot him.
1901
01:28:59,132 --> 01:29:00,098
Put it away.
1902
01:29:00,100 --> 01:29:00,932
Let's just tie him up again.
1903
01:29:00,934 --> 01:29:02,000
Nobody's tying me up.
1904
01:29:02,002 --> 01:29:03,134
Tell me that's another fake gun.
1905
01:29:03,136 --> 01:29:04,468
Shut up!
1906
01:29:04,470 --> 01:29:05,137
They'll never find
him in the desert.
1907
01:29:05,139 --> 01:29:06,071
Tammy, shut up.
1908
01:29:06,073 --> 01:29:06,871
We don't have any duct tape.
1909
01:29:06,873 --> 01:29:08,039
I got scotch tape.
1910
01:29:08,041 --> 01:29:09,641
Carly, tell me that's
another fake gun.
1911
01:29:09,643 --> 01:29:11,076
- Mom, give him the gun.
- Give me the gun.
1912
01:29:53,020 --> 01:29:54,518
I'm sorry.
1913
01:30:03,930 --> 01:30:05,932
Well, that escalated quickly.
1914
01:30:06,899 --> 01:30:09,403
Definitely the worst
date I ever had.
1915
01:30:10,136 --> 01:30:11,671
Shit, I'm starving.
1916
01:30:13,539 --> 01:30:15,076
And I'm sure my car got towed.
1917
01:30:17,810 --> 01:30:20,148
Now I gotta change my
online dating profile.
1918
01:30:21,481 --> 01:30:25,519
Seeking someone smart and
sexy but not bat shit crazy.
1919
01:30:27,787 --> 01:30:30,023
Probably a good idea not
to lie anymore though.
1920
01:30:31,757 --> 01:30:34,692
Anybody asks me I'm just
gonna say right up front,
1921
01:30:34,694 --> 01:30:37,495
"Yep, it was me.
1922
01:30:37,497 --> 01:30:38,565
"I shot 'em all."
1923
01:30:41,100 --> 01:30:42,836
Actually, that's pretty macho.
1924
01:30:44,238 --> 01:30:46,106
Women do love macho and nuts.
1925
01:30:49,710 --> 01:30:50,744
Here they come.
1926
01:30:52,912 --> 01:30:54,014
What do I say?
1927
01:30:55,282 --> 01:30:56,583
The truth?
1928
01:30:57,650 --> 01:30:58,616
Fuck!
1929
01:30:58,618 --> 01:31:00,086
The truth just seems like a lie.
1930
01:31:02,523 --> 01:31:05,893
Maybe I'll just start
with the truth tomorrow.
1931
01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:41,026
Go for Josh.
1932
01:31:41,028 --> 01:31:42,326
Hey, Bro, it's Milo.
1933
01:31:42,328 --> 01:31:43,762
Milo, what the fuck, man.
1934
01:31:43,764 --> 01:31:44,929
We've been worried sick.
1935
01:31:44,931 --> 01:31:46,231
We've been trying to
call you for days.
1936
01:31:46,233 --> 01:31:48,032
Mom and Dad have the
police out looking for you.
1937
01:31:48,034 --> 01:31:50,968
Speaking of which, now's
not a very good time.
1938
01:31:50,970 --> 01:31:52,138
Hey, quick question.
1939
01:31:54,041 --> 01:31:57,308
Did you date a girl
named Carly Sagat?
1940
01:31:57,310 --> 01:31:58,679
About two years ago.
1941
01:31:59,779 --> 01:32:00,881
Brunette.
1942
01:32:02,315 --> 01:32:03,748
Cute laugh.
1943
01:32:03,750 --> 01:32:05,916
Yeah, yeah!
1944
01:32:05,918 --> 01:32:07,054
I remember her.
1945
01:32:08,287 --> 01:32:09,286
I mean it's not a
date if you're just
1946
01:32:09,288 --> 01:32:11,188
fucking though, right?
1947
01:32:11,190 --> 01:32:13,325
Anyway, I think that
girl gave me an STD.
1948
01:32:13,327 --> 01:32:14,628
Why?
1949
01:32:16,128 --> 01:32:17,832
Don't worry about it.128497
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