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1
00:00:02,297 --> 00:00:05,640
- It was a mistake, John.
- Make them with your family. Not mine.
2
00:00:06,070 --> 00:00:08,366
- Jason Maddox is a minor.
- Pretty major minor.
3
00:00:08,492 --> 00:00:09,804
He's a minor.
4
00:00:10,309 --> 00:00:13,224
From the bottom of my heart,
what I said and did...
5
00:00:13,349 --> 00:00:15,855
it came from the right place,
and ended in the wrong one.
6
00:00:15,981 --> 00:00:18,256
This is Diana and Dodi all over again.
7
00:00:18,382 --> 00:00:19,817
I have to leave them.
8
00:00:19,943 --> 00:00:22,356
If you really leave, say "goodbye".
9
00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:24,544
I can see why Katie fell for ya.
10
00:00:24,669 --> 00:00:27,379
? Katie in Canada... ?
11
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:30,464
- What did he mean, Sami?
- Time to go!
12
00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:32,061
What did he mean?!
13
00:00:34,589 --> 00:00:39,189
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
14
00:01:14,029 --> 00:01:16,464
Can I come in?
You OK?
15
00:01:16,589 --> 00:01:19,344
- Where's he gone?
- I told you, asylum accommodation.
16
00:01:19,469 --> 00:01:21,784
- Back to the hotel.
- He's not speaking to me.
17
00:01:21,909 --> 00:01:23,744
Peter and I just wanted to have
a little chat.
18
00:01:23,869 --> 00:01:25,309
Let's all sit down, shall we?
19
00:01:35,789 --> 00:01:38,024
Everything that's happened, John...
20
00:01:38,149 --> 00:01:40,180
you need to know that adults aren't perfect.
21
00:01:40,306 --> 00:01:42,501
Despite what you might think,
adults make mistakes.
22
00:01:42,627 --> 00:01:44,163
- No, I definitely think that.
- Right.
23
00:01:44,289 --> 00:01:45,524
That's all you do.
24
00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:47,712
If you did anything right, I'd call
the fucking papers.
25
00:01:47,838 --> 00:01:49,703
- Language.
- I'm telling you off.
26
00:01:49,829 --> 00:01:52,729
Your mother and I going to get through this.
Taken a few hits.
27
00:01:54,149 --> 00:01:57,579
There's been a few cracks,
but we have strong foundations,
28
00:01:57,705 --> 00:02:00,695
and tremendous structural integrity.
29
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,784
These twin towers are here to stay.
30
00:02:02,909 --> 00:02:05,370
- Peter.
- I'm terribly sorry, that got away from me.
31
00:02:05,496 --> 00:02:06,815
What?!
32
00:02:08,351 --> 00:02:09,551
Yes?
33
00:02:12,829 --> 00:02:15,733
I actually get quite nervous,
when you look at me like that.
34
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:19,288
I know you're not judging me, it
just feels like you're judging me.
35
00:02:19,414 --> 00:02:21,374
- I am judging you.
- Well, that's certainly good to know.
36
00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:25,021
The case has been thrown out,
caution for inappropriate language.
37
00:02:25,147 --> 00:02:27,897
But...
I've got my job back.
38
00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:33,571
Would you like to walk me to school?
39
00:02:39,989 --> 00:02:41,860
- Have a good day.
- You, too.
40
00:03:42,029 --> 00:03:42,864
Hello.
41
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,189
Hello.
42
00:03:45,029 --> 00:03:46,229
You OK?
43
00:03:47,309 --> 00:03:49,357
- I couldn't do it.
- It's all right.
44
00:03:49,483 --> 00:03:51,264
I couldn't do it,
I knew what they were thinking,
45
00:03:51,389 --> 00:03:54,104
and I know they'll always be thinking it.
46
00:03:54,229 --> 00:03:56,013
I can't do it, Peter!
47
00:03:57,105 --> 00:03:58,973
You don't have to.
48
00:03:59,629 --> 00:04:02,137
But what do you mean?
They've offered me my old job back.
49
00:04:02,263 --> 00:04:04,160
You don't have to take it.
Find another.
50
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:06,153
- But what about...
- We'll be fine.
51
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:09,004
I'll be more than fine, we'll be happy.
52
00:04:09,389 --> 00:04:11,825
- Close your eyes.
- Don't be daft.
53
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,977
Close... your... eyes.
54
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:19,081
Give me your nose.
55
00:04:19,989 --> 00:04:21,189
Eyes.
56
00:04:24,549 --> 00:04:26,064
Where do you see us?
57
00:04:26,352 --> 00:04:27,977
Could be anywhere, what do you see?
58
00:04:28,218 --> 00:04:29,423
Africa.
59
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,641
Theroux's?
60
00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:33,282
Middle of nowhere.
61
00:04:33,408 --> 00:04:35,563
The only English people for miles.
62
00:04:35,789 --> 00:04:38,144
Doing something we believe in.
63
00:04:38,269 --> 00:04:40,184
- Sounds like Zulu.
- Shut up. Sorry.
64
00:04:40,309 --> 00:04:41,645
We're surrounded by locals...
65
00:04:41,771 --> 00:04:43,638
Got to say,
it really sounds like Zulu.
66
00:04:43,764 --> 00:04:45,704
You've built a school. I'm teaching.
67
00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:47,294
John has new friends.
68
00:04:47,638 --> 00:04:48,949
We're happy.
69
00:04:56,321 --> 00:04:59,132
But right now, I want to do
something for my son.
70
00:05:05,377 --> 00:05:07,485
You going to stay being a taxi driver?
71
00:05:08,989 --> 00:05:10,189
Nah.
72
00:05:20,745 --> 00:05:21,863
Surprise!
73
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,767
You're adopting me, as well?
74
00:05:23,893 --> 00:05:25,564
- Is Sami here?
- He's with you.
75
00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,018
- He came back here.
- No, he didn't.
76
00:05:27,144 --> 00:05:29,190
- I haven't seen him for weeks.
- Sorry.
77
00:05:31,525 --> 00:05:33,361
- How did he sound?
- Not good.
78
00:05:33,487 --> 00:05:36,110
- We had an argument.
- May I ask about what?
79
00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,504
- Him coming here.
- Well, that's it. He's gone to Berlin.
80
00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:42,424
- What do you mean "no"?
- It was so late, he was shouting.
81
00:05:42,549 --> 00:05:45,304
He lost his mind.
I haven't seen him like this.
82
00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:48,029
Why did he leave you?
Did you kick him out?
83
00:05:49,069 --> 00:05:51,531
It's complicated.
84
00:05:51,657 --> 00:05:53,544
You means everything to him.
85
00:05:53,669 --> 00:05:55,608
He loves you, Katy.
86
00:05:57,789 --> 00:05:58,989
Hello?
87
00:06:08,466 --> 00:06:09,666
All right?
88
00:06:11,358 --> 00:06:12,522
Fortnite?
89
00:06:13,429 --> 00:06:16,304
That's right, mate.
Take it all out on a bunch of 12-year-old
90
00:06:16,429 --> 00:06:17,989
Korean kids you'll never meet.
91
00:06:19,149 --> 00:06:20,642
Come on.
Shut it down.
92
00:06:21,229 --> 00:06:23,464
Mum'll go mad if she finds you're
still playing up here...
93
00:06:23,589 --> 00:06:25,509
- I'm just watching Sami's last game.
- Oh?
94
00:06:34,097 --> 00:06:35,812
What's strange about this?
95
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,980
- I don't know. Never played.
- Doesn't matter, just watch.
96
00:06:43,229 --> 00:06:44,792
He's not fighting anyone.
97
00:06:48,651 --> 00:06:49,949
He's just running.
98
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:52,871
Never fights.
99
00:06:54,329 --> 00:06:55,693
Just runs away from it all.
100
00:06:57,829 --> 00:06:59,248
Over the hills.
101
00:07:00,939 --> 00:07:02,225
Runs and runs.
102
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:12,352
- Here you go.
- Cheers, Alice.
103
00:07:14,189 --> 00:07:15,789
- All right?
- Have you seen Sami?
104
00:07:15,915 --> 00:07:17,985
- Not for a bit. Why?
- He's gone somewhere.
105
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,944
- He'll be back.
- How do you know?
106
00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:22,878
He promised me he'd say goodbye.
107
00:07:23,004 --> 00:07:25,477
- Would you let us know if you hear from him?
- Sure.
108
00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:32,737
Heard from him!
109
00:07:33,909 --> 00:07:35,109
What?
110
00:07:37,285 --> 00:07:39,629
- I don't understand.
- We like crosswords.
111
00:07:41,309 --> 00:07:44,974
"Jar twists", so anagram of jar.
112
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,064
Think of another word for "both ways".
113
00:07:48,189 --> 00:07:50,177
Oh, I don't know, I'm shit at these.
114
00:07:51,662 --> 00:07:52,818
He promised.
115
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,105
- Where is he? Where did he send it from?
- Greece.
116
00:07:57,231 --> 00:07:58,944
Where in Greece?
Christ, it could be anywhere.
117
00:07:59,069 --> 00:08:01,423
- It could be one of the islands, it could be...
- Didymoteicho.
118
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,464
- He's in Didymoteicho.
- How do you know he's?
119
00:08:03,589 --> 00:08:04,928
It's written on the back of the postcard?
120
00:08:05,054 --> 00:08:08,525
- Well, for fuck's sake, Katy. Come on.
- Thanks, Raj. Bye, Raj!
121
00:08:09,029 --> 00:08:10,564
What are you doing, Sami?
122
00:08:12,634 --> 00:08:14,489
He hasn't gone on holiday.
123
00:08:14,615 --> 00:08:16,223
You don't know that!
He might have!
124
00:08:16,349 --> 00:08:17,934
Didymoteicho's on the mainland.
125
00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:20,481
Syrian refugees do not go on
holiday to Greece.
126
00:08:20,607 --> 00:08:23,224
That is like taking David
Attenborough fucking seal-clubbing.
127
00:08:23,349 --> 00:08:26,544
OK, so he didn't go to Greece,
and the postcard's not from him.
128
00:08:26,669 --> 00:08:28,486
- Who says it's from him?
- He's right by the border with Turkey.
129
00:08:28,612 --> 00:08:30,944
- You know it's from him.
- It's a refugee crossing.
130
00:08:31,069 --> 00:08:33,464
OK. Look, my point is he has
gone away, he's on a break.
131
00:08:33,589 --> 00:08:35,304
Let's not worry about it!
He'll be back!
132
00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:37,064
- He's going home.
- Exactly, he'll come home.
133
00:08:37,189 --> 00:08:38,736
- No, he's going home to Syria.
- What?
134
00:08:38,862 --> 00:08:40,744
That Greek town's right by the Evros River.
135
00:08:40,869 --> 00:08:43,288
Googled it, refugees cross there
from Turkey into Greece.
136
00:08:43,414 --> 00:08:45,649
But he's going the other way.
He's going back.
137
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,144
- Who would do that?
- Someone who ran out on family.
138
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,344
- Let's get him.
- Let's get him!
139
00:08:50,469 --> 00:08:54,728
OK, let's all just take a breath for a moment
This is a theory...
140
00:08:54,854 --> 00:08:56,549
that you've worked out on the back
of an envelope...
141
00:08:56,675 --> 00:08:57,776
Postcard.
142
00:08:57,902 --> 00:09:00,595
My point is, we don't even know
if any of this is true.
143
00:09:00,721 --> 00:09:03,516
- It's a long shot.
- If you want it enough, long shots can come true.
144
00:09:03,641 --> 00:09:05,346
Oh, that's absolutely gorgeous.
Who said that?
145
00:09:05,472 --> 00:09:06,675
I don't fucking know.
Lee Harvey Oswald?
146
00:09:06,801 --> 00:09:09,329
He has gone home!
Leave him alone.
147
00:09:09,455 --> 00:09:12,316
- I don't want to leave him alone.
- Yes, well, you made that absolutely clear.
148
00:09:12,441 --> 00:09:15,362
- We're doing this again, are we?
- Oh, well, I guess we are!
149
00:09:16,019 --> 00:09:18,667
I was under an enormous amount of pressure.
150
00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:21,236
So was I.
I found comfort in the gig economy.
151
00:09:21,362 --> 00:09:23,676
Where did you find it?
In the mouth of a ginormous man.
152
00:09:23,801 --> 00:09:27,099
- Aren't people funny?!
- Maybe I needed that snog. Maybe I needed it.
153
00:09:28,681 --> 00:09:30,982
- Was he good?
- Oh, he was tremendous.
154
00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:33,404
- Beard get in the way?
- You bet it did.
155
00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:36,295
- It was like pulling Hagrid.
- Oh, great, that sound really great.
156
00:09:36,421 --> 00:09:39,959
Compared to you, with your tongue
rummaging around like a Boxing Day shopper.
157
00:09:40,085 --> 00:09:44,354
Being held by you is like falling
into a fucking drying rack.
158
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:47,526
You want to know why I kissed him?
You weren't there.
159
00:09:47,651 --> 00:09:50,566
Oh, I see. Anything else you want to
blame on me because I wasn't there?
160
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:54,137
World War I? AIDS?
The closure of fucking Woolworths?!
161
00:09:54,263 --> 00:09:55,966
We're wasting time!
Let's go.
162
00:09:56,091 --> 00:09:57,892
- Right, let's pack!
- Not you.
163
00:09:58,748 --> 00:10:00,255
I want to go with Peter.
164
00:10:04,216 --> 00:10:05,763
- Why me?
- Maybe you should...
165
00:10:05,889 --> 00:10:07,169
if you're so worried about Sami and I,
166
00:10:07,295 --> 00:10:09,154
and it's clearly what John wants.
Maybe you should take him.
167
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,796
- Maybe I will.
- Turn it into a male-bonding trip.
168
00:10:10,922 --> 00:10:13,709
- Nothing would make me happier.
- Great.
169
00:10:13,835 --> 00:10:17,566
Have you seen this man?
Very big, like a homeless Pavarotti.
170
00:10:17,691 --> 00:10:18,891
No?
Great? OK.
171
00:10:21,222 --> 00:10:24,326
Excuse me. I know Greece is wrong
place to ask this, but we're looking
172
00:10:24,451 --> 00:10:26,143
for an enormous man with a beard.
173
00:10:26,269 --> 00:10:27,766
You seen this man?
174
00:10:27,891 --> 00:10:29,571
OK. Thank you.
Enjoy the wall.
175
00:10:32,749 --> 00:10:35,593
Hi. Er, phone this number,
if you see this man.
176
00:10:35,811 --> 00:10:37,273
Have you seen this man?
177
00:10:37,399 --> 00:10:38,994
You see this man?
178
00:10:39,251 --> 00:10:41,819
Hell... er, maybe not.
No. Right, erm...
179
00:10:44,571 --> 00:10:45,966
Hello. Hi.
180
00:10:46,091 --> 00:10:48,118
We're looking for this man,
means a lot to my son.
181
00:10:48,244 --> 00:10:49,726
- I'm not your son.
- No, that's right.
182
00:10:49,851 --> 00:10:52,086
I'm actually in a volatile
relationship with his mother,
183
00:10:52,211 --> 00:10:54,369
- and he's just sort of came with the package.
- You're nice!
184
00:10:54,495 --> 00:10:57,726
Came with the package?
What am I, bubble wrap?
185
00:10:58,062 --> 00:10:59,885
John.
I was joking, John!
186
00:11:00,799 --> 00:11:02,326
Where are you going?
187
00:11:02,451 --> 00:11:03,686
John?
188
00:11:03,811 --> 00:11:05,682
People like bubble wrap, John!
189
00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:17,261
What's that?
190
00:11:17,722 --> 00:11:20,366
It's a game that my father used
to play with me on holiday.
191
00:11:20,491 --> 00:11:21,806
What's it called?
192
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,967
It's called "Strawberry Ice Cream...
193
00:11:24,381 --> 00:11:26,029
"Taramasalata".
194
00:11:37,872 --> 00:11:39,072
You start.
195
00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:58,845
Ice cream.
196
00:11:59,291 --> 00:12:01,900
Yep.
That was beginner's luck.
197
00:12:04,011 --> 00:12:05,299
Cigarette?
198
00:12:06,119 --> 00:12:07,642
No.
Sorry.
199
00:12:15,811 --> 00:12:17,011
Thank you.
200
00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:20,456
You surprise me.
201
00:12:20,753 --> 00:12:22,151
I'm a conundrum, John.
202
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:24,659
Surprise me again.
203
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,980
I can dislocate my left thumb at will.
204
00:12:27,110 --> 00:12:28,310
Go on.
205
00:12:30,026 --> 00:12:31,886
- That's fucked up.
- Language.
206
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,558
But, yes.
Thank you.
207
00:12:39,131 --> 00:12:40,935
You... you speak English?
208
00:12:41,365 --> 00:12:42,566
No.
209
00:12:42,691 --> 00:12:43,891
Right.
210
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:46,842
Harry Kane?
211
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,726
- Harry Kane.
- Mm... Harry Kane.
212
00:12:49,851 --> 00:12:52,726
- Harry Kane. Harry Kane. Harry Kane.
- Harry Kane. Harry Kane.
213
00:12:52,851 --> 00:12:54,132
Harry Kane.
214
00:12:57,187 --> 00:12:59,611
- Harry Kane.
- Oh... Harry Kane.
215
00:13:01,691 --> 00:13:03,663
- I am Iraqi.
- What?
216
00:13:03,789 --> 00:13:05,509
I... Iraqi.
217
00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:08,406
Iraq! It's from Iraq.
218
00:13:08,531 --> 00:13:09,921
Ooh, Iraq? Yeah.
219
00:13:18,451 --> 00:13:20,851
Can you help us?
We're looking for a friend.
220
00:13:29,633 --> 00:13:31,067
No.
No.
221
00:13:34,145 --> 00:13:35,926
Where's the crossing into Turkey?
222
00:13:36,051 --> 00:13:37,689
- Huh?
- Where would he cross?
223
00:13:38,079 --> 00:13:41,491
Look, John, it's a big place.
He's not going to know where...
224
00:13:55,141 --> 00:13:56,375
Thank you.
225
00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:11,740
Which one was it?
226
00:14:13,611 --> 00:14:15,225
Don't think he gives a shit.
227
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:17,020
Quite right, too.
228
00:14:21,091 --> 00:14:23,194
Right.
Back to the hotel.
229
00:14:24,401 --> 00:14:25,601
Bye-bye.
230
00:14:40,331 --> 00:14:41,531
Let's keep looking.
231
00:14:52,484 --> 00:14:54,084
I'm going to invite myself in.
232
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:04,004
Come back to school.
Please?
233
00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:05,332
I tried.
234
00:15:05,458 --> 00:15:07,253
Yeah, I heard.
Hit that corridor.
235
00:15:07,379 --> 00:15:09,574
It was like the landing
craft hitting Omaha Beach.
236
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,043
You should have stuck around.
237
00:15:11,169 --> 00:15:14,049
It was chicken schnitzel for lunch.
238
00:15:15,168 --> 00:15:18,164
Give yourself a bit of time and call
me when you're ready.
239
00:15:19,702 --> 00:15:21,601
I'm not sure I'm coming back.
240
00:15:21,727 --> 00:15:23,369
Come on, Katy.
It's in your blood.
241
00:15:23,516 --> 00:15:24,797
So's anaemia.
242
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:27,398
You can never really leave teaching,
you know that?
243
00:15:27,524 --> 00:15:30,329
It's like the Mafia.
Or LinkedIn.
244
00:15:30,455 --> 00:15:31,890
It'll always be there.
245
00:15:32,050 --> 00:15:34,078
Just got to find that passion again.
246
00:15:34,204 --> 00:15:37,319
Think about that first spark,
why you got into it in the first place.
247
00:15:37,444 --> 00:15:39,719
Because Darren Lansley was going
to do teacher training
248
00:15:39,845 --> 00:15:41,846
and he went down on me
at Monsters Of Rock.
249
00:15:42,658 --> 00:15:46,080
- They say it's a vocation.
- Vocation for Darren Lansley.
250
00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:50,275
I've been doing this job for nearly
20 years and, in the last few weeks,
251
00:15:50,401 --> 00:15:52,481
it hasn't quite found
the grounds to fire me.
252
00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:55,754
I'm not really feeling the love in the room.
You know what I mean?
253
00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:59,223
I know this feels
like a stain on your reputation.
254
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:02,129
It's not a stain.
It's a scar.
255
00:16:03,043 --> 00:16:05,464
And every time I step back in that
building, it'll open up.
256
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,950
I can't do that to myself.
257
00:16:08,399 --> 00:16:09,714
I need a new start.
258
00:16:10,073 --> 00:16:11,409
The kids will miss you.
259
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:14,003
Trust me, Diana, they'll care least
out of everyone.
260
00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:15,581
You sure about that?
261
00:16:23,484 --> 00:16:25,204
Nah, I'm done.
262
00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:28,949
Right, um...
263
00:16:29,644 --> 00:16:31,509
Call me if you change your mind.
264
00:16:31,635 --> 00:16:32,875
Yeah.
265
00:16:35,337 --> 00:16:36,537
Come on.
266
00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:39,680
- What happened?
- It's a no.
267
00:16:39,806 --> 00:16:41,966
- Why?
- She doesn't like you any more.
268
00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:49,528
I'll ask you one more time.
Have you seen this man?
269
00:16:52,652 --> 00:16:54,315
Doesn't say much, does she?
270
00:16:58,041 --> 00:17:00,679
- Hello, have you...
- Have you seen this...
271
00:17:00,804 --> 00:17:02,419
It's all right, John, they're Greek.
272
00:17:02,545 --> 00:17:04,670
They've got a lot on their mind
at the moment.
273
00:17:14,764 --> 00:17:17,602
- Send me the location he sent us.
- Oh, John.
274
00:17:18,244 --> 00:17:21,326
It's a needle in a haystack, mate.
He's probably already made the crossing.
275
00:17:21,452 --> 00:17:22,652
Please!
276
00:17:32,006 --> 00:17:33,721
You've got to chase.
277
00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:35,755
- Not always.
- What do you mean?
278
00:17:36,161 --> 00:17:39,439
Oh, God, John. I'm chasing Sami,
chasing Elliot.
279
00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:42,515
You're obviously just looking
for a father figure.
280
00:17:42,641 --> 00:17:45,929
- And sometimes you need to settle...
- For you?
281
00:17:47,296 --> 00:17:49,765
- You thought Elliot was an arsehole.
- Yes. Yes, I did.
282
00:17:49,891 --> 00:17:51,724
At least arseholes do something.
283
00:17:51,850 --> 00:17:54,466
I don't know what it is you do.
You're not an arsehole.
284
00:17:54,592 --> 00:17:56,755
- You're... You're an appendix.
- Thank you.
285
00:17:56,881 --> 00:17:59,411
What's that make me? Stuck between
an appendix and an arsehole.
286
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:02,552
Well, I'm not a doctor, John, but
I'm pretty sure it makes you a dick.
287
00:18:08,095 --> 00:18:10,623
- What was your dad like?
- Oh, God.
288
00:18:11,392 --> 00:18:14,603
- Did he live with you?
- Yeah, yeah.
289
00:18:14,964 --> 00:18:16,235
He sounded fun.
290
00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:19,399
Not sure fun's quite the word.
291
00:18:19,524 --> 00:18:20,804
Why?
292
00:18:25,095 --> 00:18:28,134
I was seven years old,
Christmas Eve, I can't sleep.
293
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:32,253
And I hear a noise downstairs.
294
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:36,237
So, I go down to the living room,
and I find Father Christmas
295
00:18:36,363 --> 00:18:39,413
completely naked on my sofa.
296
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:42,932
You see, my dad had been
all day in the pub,
297
00:18:43,057 --> 00:18:46,012
and he'd come back and decided
to dress up as Santa Claus.
298
00:18:46,137 --> 00:18:49,332
And he'd taken all his clothes off
and put the hat and the beard on.
299
00:18:49,457 --> 00:18:52,589
But he had passed out
before he could do the rest.
300
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,972
Not exactly the sack I was hoping for.
301
00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:02,171
Anyway, the next morning I woke
up and Santa was gone. Huge relief.
302
00:19:02,297 --> 00:19:06,281
And I went to tell my dad,
who was upstairs by now.
303
00:19:06,507 --> 00:19:10,686
And he was ouraged.
304
00:19:10,812 --> 00:19:12,852
And he got up, sat me down,
and he forced me to write
305
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:15,255
a letter of complaint to the North Pole.
306
00:19:16,701 --> 00:19:19,852
"Dear Santa. Well, I hope
you're happy with yourself."
307
00:19:19,977 --> 00:19:23,270
"This behaviour is unacceptable."
308
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,297
"You have let yourself down,
you have let the elves down."
309
00:19:28,577 --> 00:19:31,172
Oh, God. He was brilliant.
He was.
310
00:19:31,297 --> 00:19:33,768
He was...
He was really brilliant.
311
00:19:33,894 --> 00:19:35,714
What happened next Christmas?
312
00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:38,464
That was the last Christmas
I spent with my dad.
313
00:19:40,099 --> 00:19:41,954
What's the moral of the story?
314
00:19:43,946 --> 00:19:45,810
There's no such thing as Santa.
315
00:19:47,613 --> 00:19:49,093
Men run away.
316
00:19:50,349 --> 00:19:52,065
You don't always get a happy ending.
317
00:19:53,791 --> 00:19:55,479
I'm going to find Sami.
318
00:19:59,924 --> 00:20:02,252
Have you ever thought about living
somewhere else, John?
319
00:20:02,377 --> 00:20:03,516
Like where?
320
00:20:03,642 --> 00:20:05,963
- Have you seen Zulu?
- No.
321
00:20:06,089 --> 00:20:07,948
- Check it out.
- OK.
322
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,121
Right, sleep.
323
00:20:14,737 --> 00:20:15,937
Goodnight.
324
00:21:45,485 --> 00:21:46,885
John?
325
00:21:49,417 --> 00:21:50,631
John!
326
00:21:51,263 --> 00:21:52,817
Oh, mate.
327
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,476
I couldn't find him.
328
00:22:02,602 --> 00:22:04,768
- He's gone.
- It's OK.
329
00:22:04,967 --> 00:22:06,167
It's OK.
330
00:22:22,339 --> 00:22:23,619
Sami!
331
00:22:34,012 --> 00:22:35,612
I'm so sorry.
332
00:23:29,875 --> 00:23:34,475
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www.addic7ed.com
333
00:23:34,525 --> 00:23:39,075
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