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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,297 --> 00:00:05,640 - It was a mistake, John. - Make them with your family. Not mine. 2 00:00:06,070 --> 00:00:08,366 - Jason Maddox is a minor. - Pretty major minor. 3 00:00:08,492 --> 00:00:09,804 He's a minor. 4 00:00:10,309 --> 00:00:13,224 From the bottom of my heart, what I said and did... 5 00:00:13,349 --> 00:00:15,855 it came from the right place, and ended in the wrong one. 6 00:00:15,981 --> 00:00:18,256 This is Diana and Dodi all over again. 7 00:00:18,382 --> 00:00:19,817 I have to leave them. 8 00:00:19,943 --> 00:00:22,356 If you really leave, say "goodbye". 9 00:00:22,482 --> 00:00:24,544 I can see why Katie fell for ya. 10 00:00:24,669 --> 00:00:27,379 ? Katie in Canada... ? 11 00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:30,464 - What did he mean, Sami? - Time to go! 12 00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:32,061 What did he mean?! 13 00:00:34,589 --> 00:00:39,189 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 14 00:01:14,029 --> 00:01:16,464 Can I come in? You OK? 15 00:01:16,589 --> 00:01:19,344 - Where's he gone? - I told you, asylum accommodation. 16 00:01:19,469 --> 00:01:21,784 - Back to the hotel. - He's not speaking to me. 17 00:01:21,909 --> 00:01:23,744 Peter and I just wanted to have a little chat. 18 00:01:23,869 --> 00:01:25,309 Let's all sit down, shall we? 19 00:01:35,789 --> 00:01:38,024 Everything that's happened, John... 20 00:01:38,149 --> 00:01:40,180 you need to know that adults aren't perfect. 21 00:01:40,306 --> 00:01:42,501 Despite what you might think, adults make mistakes. 22 00:01:42,627 --> 00:01:44,163 - No, I definitely think that. - Right. 23 00:01:44,289 --> 00:01:45,524 That's all you do. 24 00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:47,712 If you did anything right, I'd call the fucking papers. 25 00:01:47,838 --> 00:01:49,703 - Language. - I'm telling you off. 26 00:01:49,829 --> 00:01:52,729 Your mother and I going to get through this. Taken a few hits. 27 00:01:54,149 --> 00:01:57,579 There's been a few cracks, but we have strong foundations, 28 00:01:57,705 --> 00:02:00,695 and tremendous structural integrity. 29 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,784 These twin towers are here to stay. 30 00:02:02,909 --> 00:02:05,370 - Peter. - I'm terribly sorry, that got away from me. 31 00:02:05,496 --> 00:02:06,815 What?! 32 00:02:08,351 --> 00:02:09,551 Yes? 33 00:02:12,829 --> 00:02:15,733 I actually get quite nervous, when you look at me like that. 34 00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:19,288 I know you're not judging me, it just feels like you're judging me. 35 00:02:19,414 --> 00:02:21,374 - I am judging you. - Well, that's certainly good to know. 36 00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:25,021 The case has been thrown out, caution for inappropriate language. 37 00:02:25,147 --> 00:02:27,897 But... I've got my job back. 38 00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:33,571 Would you like to walk me to school? 39 00:02:39,989 --> 00:02:41,860 - Have a good day. - You, too. 40 00:03:42,029 --> 00:03:42,864 Hello. 41 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,189 Hello. 42 00:03:45,029 --> 00:03:46,229 You OK? 43 00:03:47,309 --> 00:03:49,357 - I couldn't do it. - It's all right. 44 00:03:49,483 --> 00:03:51,264 I couldn't do it, I knew what they were thinking, 45 00:03:51,389 --> 00:03:54,104 and I know they'll always be thinking it. 46 00:03:54,229 --> 00:03:56,013 I can't do it, Peter! 47 00:03:57,105 --> 00:03:58,973 You don't have to. 48 00:03:59,629 --> 00:04:02,137 But what do you mean? They've offered me my old job back. 49 00:04:02,263 --> 00:04:04,160 You don't have to take it. Find another. 50 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:06,153 - But what about... - We'll be fine. 51 00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:09,004 I'll be more than fine, we'll be happy. 52 00:04:09,389 --> 00:04:11,825 - Close your eyes. - Don't be daft. 53 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,977 Close... your... eyes. 54 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:19,081 Give me your nose. 55 00:04:19,989 --> 00:04:21,189 Eyes. 56 00:04:24,549 --> 00:04:26,064 Where do you see us? 57 00:04:26,352 --> 00:04:27,977 Could be anywhere, what do you see? 58 00:04:28,218 --> 00:04:29,423 Africa. 59 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,641 Theroux's? 60 00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:33,282 Middle of nowhere. 61 00:04:33,408 --> 00:04:35,563 The only English people for miles. 62 00:04:35,789 --> 00:04:38,144 Doing something we believe in. 63 00:04:38,269 --> 00:04:40,184 - Sounds like Zulu. - Shut up. Sorry. 64 00:04:40,309 --> 00:04:41,645 We're surrounded by locals... 65 00:04:41,771 --> 00:04:43,638 Got to say, it really sounds like Zulu. 66 00:04:43,764 --> 00:04:45,704 You've built a school. I'm teaching. 67 00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:47,294 John has new friends. 68 00:04:47,638 --> 00:04:48,949 We're happy. 69 00:04:56,321 --> 00:04:59,132 But right now, I want to do something for my son. 70 00:05:05,377 --> 00:05:07,485 You going to stay being a taxi driver? 71 00:05:08,989 --> 00:05:10,189 Nah. 72 00:05:20,745 --> 00:05:21,863 Surprise! 73 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,767 You're adopting me, as well? 74 00:05:23,893 --> 00:05:25,564 - Is Sami here? - He's with you. 75 00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,018 - He came back here. - No, he didn't. 76 00:05:27,144 --> 00:05:29,190 - I haven't seen him for weeks. - Sorry. 77 00:05:31,525 --> 00:05:33,361 - How did he sound? - Not good. 78 00:05:33,487 --> 00:05:36,110 - We had an argument. - May I ask about what? 79 00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:38,504 - Him coming here. - Well, that's it. He's gone to Berlin. 80 00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:42,424 - What do you mean "no"? - It was so late, he was shouting. 81 00:05:42,549 --> 00:05:45,304 He lost his mind. I haven't seen him like this. 82 00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:48,029 Why did he leave you? Did you kick him out? 83 00:05:49,069 --> 00:05:51,531 It's complicated. 84 00:05:51,657 --> 00:05:53,544 You means everything to him. 85 00:05:53,669 --> 00:05:55,608 He loves you, Katy. 86 00:05:57,789 --> 00:05:58,989 Hello? 87 00:06:08,466 --> 00:06:09,666 All right? 88 00:06:11,358 --> 00:06:12,522 Fortnite? 89 00:06:13,429 --> 00:06:16,304 That's right, mate. Take it all out on a bunch of 12-year-old 90 00:06:16,429 --> 00:06:17,989 Korean kids you'll never meet. 91 00:06:19,149 --> 00:06:20,642 Come on. Shut it down. 92 00:06:21,229 --> 00:06:23,464 Mum'll go mad if she finds you're still playing up here... 93 00:06:23,589 --> 00:06:25,509 - I'm just watching Sami's last game. - Oh? 94 00:06:34,097 --> 00:06:35,812 What's strange about this? 95 00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,980 - I don't know. Never played. - Doesn't matter, just watch. 96 00:06:43,229 --> 00:06:44,792 He's not fighting anyone. 97 00:06:48,651 --> 00:06:49,949 He's just running. 98 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:52,871 Never fights. 99 00:06:54,329 --> 00:06:55,693 Just runs away from it all. 100 00:06:57,829 --> 00:06:59,248 Over the hills. 101 00:07:00,939 --> 00:07:02,225 Runs and runs. 102 00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:12,352 - Here you go. - Cheers, Alice. 103 00:07:14,189 --> 00:07:15,789 - All right? - Have you seen Sami? 104 00:07:15,915 --> 00:07:17,985 - Not for a bit. Why? - He's gone somewhere. 105 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,944 - He'll be back. - How do you know? 106 00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:22,878 He promised me he'd say goodbye. 107 00:07:23,004 --> 00:07:25,477 - Would you let us know if you hear from him? - Sure. 108 00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:32,737 Heard from him! 109 00:07:33,909 --> 00:07:35,109 What? 110 00:07:37,285 --> 00:07:39,629 - I don't understand. - We like crosswords. 111 00:07:41,309 --> 00:07:44,974 "Jar twists", so anagram of jar. 112 00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,064 Think of another word for "both ways". 113 00:07:48,189 --> 00:07:50,177 Oh, I don't know, I'm shit at these. 114 00:07:51,662 --> 00:07:52,818 He promised. 115 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:57,105 - Where is he? Where did he send it from? - Greece. 116 00:07:57,231 --> 00:07:58,944 Where in Greece? Christ, it could be anywhere. 117 00:07:59,069 --> 00:08:01,423 - It could be one of the islands, it could be... - Didymoteicho. 118 00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,464 - He's in Didymoteicho. - How do you know he's? 119 00:08:03,589 --> 00:08:04,928 It's written on the back of the postcard? 120 00:08:05,054 --> 00:08:08,525 - Well, for fuck's sake, Katy. Come on. - Thanks, Raj. Bye, Raj! 121 00:08:09,029 --> 00:08:10,564 What are you doing, Sami? 122 00:08:12,634 --> 00:08:14,489 He hasn't gone on holiday. 123 00:08:14,615 --> 00:08:16,223 You don't know that! He might have! 124 00:08:16,349 --> 00:08:17,934 Didymoteicho's on the mainland. 125 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:20,481 Syrian refugees do not go on holiday to Greece. 126 00:08:20,607 --> 00:08:23,224 That is like taking David Attenborough fucking seal-clubbing. 127 00:08:23,349 --> 00:08:26,544 OK, so he didn't go to Greece, and the postcard's not from him. 128 00:08:26,669 --> 00:08:28,486 - Who says it's from him? - He's right by the border with Turkey. 129 00:08:28,612 --> 00:08:30,944 - You know it's from him. - It's a refugee crossing. 130 00:08:31,069 --> 00:08:33,464 OK. Look, my point is he has gone away, he's on a break. 131 00:08:33,589 --> 00:08:35,304 Let's not worry about it! He'll be back! 132 00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:37,064 - He's going home. - Exactly, he'll come home. 133 00:08:37,189 --> 00:08:38,736 - No, he's going home to Syria. - What? 134 00:08:38,862 --> 00:08:40,744 That Greek town's right by the Evros River. 135 00:08:40,869 --> 00:08:43,288 Googled it, refugees cross there from Turkey into Greece. 136 00:08:43,414 --> 00:08:45,649 But he's going the other way. He's going back. 137 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,144 - Who would do that? - Someone who ran out on family. 138 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,344 - Let's get him. - Let's get him! 139 00:08:50,469 --> 00:08:54,728 OK, let's all just take a breath for a moment This is a theory... 140 00:08:54,854 --> 00:08:56,549 that you've worked out on the back of an envelope... 141 00:08:56,675 --> 00:08:57,776 Postcard. 142 00:08:57,902 --> 00:09:00,595 My point is, we don't even know if any of this is true. 143 00:09:00,721 --> 00:09:03,516 - It's a long shot. - If you want it enough, long shots can come true. 144 00:09:03,641 --> 00:09:05,346 Oh, that's absolutely gorgeous. Who said that? 145 00:09:05,472 --> 00:09:06,675 I don't fucking know. Lee Harvey Oswald? 146 00:09:06,801 --> 00:09:09,329 He has gone home! Leave him alone. 147 00:09:09,455 --> 00:09:12,316 - I don't want to leave him alone. - Yes, well, you made that absolutely clear. 148 00:09:12,441 --> 00:09:15,362 - We're doing this again, are we? - Oh, well, I guess we are! 149 00:09:16,019 --> 00:09:18,667 I was under an enormous amount of pressure. 150 00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:21,236 So was I. I found comfort in the gig economy. 151 00:09:21,362 --> 00:09:23,676 Where did you find it? In the mouth of a ginormous man. 152 00:09:23,801 --> 00:09:27,099 - Aren't people funny?! - Maybe I needed that snog. Maybe I needed it. 153 00:09:28,681 --> 00:09:30,982 - Was he good? - Oh, he was tremendous. 154 00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:33,404 - Beard get in the way? - You bet it did. 155 00:09:33,530 --> 00:09:36,295 - It was like pulling Hagrid. - Oh, great, that sound really great. 156 00:09:36,421 --> 00:09:39,959 Compared to you, with your tongue rummaging around like a Boxing Day shopper. 157 00:09:40,085 --> 00:09:44,354 Being held by you is like falling into a fucking drying rack. 158 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:47,526 You want to know why I kissed him? You weren't there. 159 00:09:47,651 --> 00:09:50,566 Oh, I see. Anything else you want to blame on me because I wasn't there? 160 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:54,137 World War I? AIDS? The closure of fucking Woolworths?! 161 00:09:54,263 --> 00:09:55,966 We're wasting time! Let's go. 162 00:09:56,091 --> 00:09:57,892 - Right, let's pack! - Not you. 163 00:09:58,748 --> 00:10:00,255 I want to go with Peter. 164 00:10:04,216 --> 00:10:05,763 - Why me? - Maybe you should... 165 00:10:05,889 --> 00:10:07,169 if you're so worried about Sami and I, 166 00:10:07,295 --> 00:10:09,154 and it's clearly what John wants. Maybe you should take him. 167 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,796 - Maybe I will. - Turn it into a male-bonding trip. 168 00:10:10,922 --> 00:10:13,709 - Nothing would make me happier. - Great. 169 00:10:13,835 --> 00:10:17,566 Have you seen this man? Very big, like a homeless Pavarotti. 170 00:10:17,691 --> 00:10:18,891 No? Great? OK. 171 00:10:21,222 --> 00:10:24,326 Excuse me. I know Greece is wrong place to ask this, but we're looking 172 00:10:24,451 --> 00:10:26,143 for an enormous man with a beard. 173 00:10:26,269 --> 00:10:27,766 You seen this man? 174 00:10:27,891 --> 00:10:29,571 OK. Thank you. Enjoy the wall. 175 00:10:32,749 --> 00:10:35,593 Hi. Er, phone this number, if you see this man. 176 00:10:35,811 --> 00:10:37,273 Have you seen this man? 177 00:10:37,399 --> 00:10:38,994 You see this man? 178 00:10:39,251 --> 00:10:41,819 Hell... er, maybe not. No. Right, erm... 179 00:10:44,571 --> 00:10:45,966 Hello. Hi. 180 00:10:46,091 --> 00:10:48,118 We're looking for this man, means a lot to my son. 181 00:10:48,244 --> 00:10:49,726 - I'm not your son. - No, that's right. 182 00:10:49,851 --> 00:10:52,086 I'm actually in a volatile relationship with his mother, 183 00:10:52,211 --> 00:10:54,369 - and he's just sort of came with the package. - You're nice! 184 00:10:54,495 --> 00:10:57,726 Came with the package? What am I, bubble wrap? 185 00:10:58,062 --> 00:10:59,885 John. I was joking, John! 186 00:11:00,799 --> 00:11:02,326 Where are you going? 187 00:11:02,451 --> 00:11:03,686 John? 188 00:11:03,811 --> 00:11:05,682 People like bubble wrap, John! 189 00:11:16,011 --> 00:11:17,261 What's that? 190 00:11:17,722 --> 00:11:20,366 It's a game that my father used to play with me on holiday. 191 00:11:20,491 --> 00:11:21,806 What's it called? 192 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,967 It's called "Strawberry Ice Cream... 193 00:11:24,381 --> 00:11:26,029 "Taramasalata". 194 00:11:37,872 --> 00:11:39,072 You start. 195 00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:58,845 Ice cream. 196 00:11:59,291 --> 00:12:01,900 Yep. That was beginner's luck. 197 00:12:04,011 --> 00:12:05,299 Cigarette? 198 00:12:06,119 --> 00:12:07,642 No. Sorry. 199 00:12:15,811 --> 00:12:17,011 Thank you. 200 00:12:18,851 --> 00:12:20,456 You surprise me. 201 00:12:20,753 --> 00:12:22,151 I'm a conundrum, John. 202 00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:24,659 Surprise me again. 203 00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,980 I can dislocate my left thumb at will. 204 00:12:27,110 --> 00:12:28,310 Go on. 205 00:12:30,026 --> 00:12:31,886 - That's fucked up. - Language. 206 00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,558 But, yes. Thank you. 207 00:12:39,131 --> 00:12:40,935 You... you speak English? 208 00:12:41,365 --> 00:12:42,566 No. 209 00:12:42,691 --> 00:12:43,891 Right. 210 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:46,842 Harry Kane? 211 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,726 - Harry Kane. - Mm... Harry Kane. 212 00:12:49,851 --> 00:12:52,726 - Harry Kane. Harry Kane. Harry Kane. - Harry Kane. Harry Kane. 213 00:12:52,851 --> 00:12:54,132 Harry Kane. 214 00:12:57,187 --> 00:12:59,611 - Harry Kane. - Oh... Harry Kane. 215 00:13:01,691 --> 00:13:03,663 - I am Iraqi. - What? 216 00:13:03,789 --> 00:13:05,509 I... Iraqi. 217 00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:08,406 Iraq! It's from Iraq. 218 00:13:08,531 --> 00:13:09,921 Ooh, Iraq? Yeah. 219 00:13:18,451 --> 00:13:20,851 Can you help us? We're looking for a friend. 220 00:13:29,633 --> 00:13:31,067 No. No. 221 00:13:34,145 --> 00:13:35,926 Where's the crossing into Turkey? 222 00:13:36,051 --> 00:13:37,689 - Huh? - Where would he cross? 223 00:13:38,079 --> 00:13:41,491 Look, John, it's a big place. He's not going to know where... 224 00:13:55,141 --> 00:13:56,375 Thank you. 225 00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:11,740 Which one was it? 226 00:14:13,611 --> 00:14:15,225 Don't think he gives a shit. 227 00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:17,020 Quite right, too. 228 00:14:21,091 --> 00:14:23,194 Right. Back to the hotel. 229 00:14:24,401 --> 00:14:25,601 Bye-bye. 230 00:14:40,331 --> 00:14:41,531 Let's keep looking. 231 00:14:52,484 --> 00:14:54,084 I'm going to invite myself in. 232 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:04,004 Come back to school. Please? 233 00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:05,332 I tried. 234 00:15:05,458 --> 00:15:07,253 Yeah, I heard. Hit that corridor. 235 00:15:07,379 --> 00:15:09,574 It was like the landing craft hitting Omaha Beach. 236 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,043 You should have stuck around. 237 00:15:11,169 --> 00:15:14,049 It was chicken schnitzel for lunch. 238 00:15:15,168 --> 00:15:18,164 Give yourself a bit of time and call me when you're ready. 239 00:15:19,702 --> 00:15:21,601 I'm not sure I'm coming back. 240 00:15:21,727 --> 00:15:23,369 Come on, Katy. It's in your blood. 241 00:15:23,516 --> 00:15:24,797 So's anaemia. 242 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:27,398 You can never really leave teaching, you know that? 243 00:15:27,524 --> 00:15:30,329 It's like the Mafia. Or LinkedIn. 244 00:15:30,455 --> 00:15:31,890 It'll always be there. 245 00:15:32,050 --> 00:15:34,078 Just got to find that passion again. 246 00:15:34,204 --> 00:15:37,319 Think about that first spark, why you got into it in the first place. 247 00:15:37,444 --> 00:15:39,719 Because Darren Lansley was going to do teacher training 248 00:15:39,845 --> 00:15:41,846 and he went down on me at Monsters Of Rock. 249 00:15:42,658 --> 00:15:46,080 - They say it's a vocation. - Vocation for Darren Lansley. 250 00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:50,275 I've been doing this job for nearly 20 years and, in the last few weeks, 251 00:15:50,401 --> 00:15:52,481 it hasn't quite found the grounds to fire me. 252 00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:55,754 I'm not really feeling the love in the room. You know what I mean? 253 00:15:56,457 --> 00:15:59,223 I know this feels like a stain on your reputation. 254 00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:02,129 It's not a stain. It's a scar. 255 00:16:03,043 --> 00:16:05,464 And every time I step back in that building, it'll open up. 256 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,950 I can't do that to myself. 257 00:16:08,399 --> 00:16:09,714 I need a new start. 258 00:16:10,073 --> 00:16:11,409 The kids will miss you. 259 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:14,003 Trust me, Diana, they'll care least out of everyone. 260 00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:15,581 You sure about that? 261 00:16:23,484 --> 00:16:25,204 Nah, I'm done. 262 00:16:27,303 --> 00:16:28,949 Right, um... 263 00:16:29,644 --> 00:16:31,509 Call me if you change your mind. 264 00:16:31,635 --> 00:16:32,875 Yeah. 265 00:16:35,337 --> 00:16:36,537 Come on. 266 00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:39,680 - What happened? - It's a no. 267 00:16:39,806 --> 00:16:41,966 - Why? - She doesn't like you any more. 268 00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:49,528 I'll ask you one more time. Have you seen this man? 269 00:16:52,652 --> 00:16:54,315 Doesn't say much, does she? 270 00:16:58,041 --> 00:17:00,679 - Hello, have you... - Have you seen this... 271 00:17:00,804 --> 00:17:02,419 It's all right, John, they're Greek. 272 00:17:02,545 --> 00:17:04,670 They've got a lot on their mind at the moment. 273 00:17:14,764 --> 00:17:17,602 - Send me the location he sent us. - Oh, John. 274 00:17:18,244 --> 00:17:21,326 It's a needle in a haystack, mate. He's probably already made the crossing. 275 00:17:21,452 --> 00:17:22,652 Please! 276 00:17:32,006 --> 00:17:33,721 You've got to chase. 277 00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:35,755 - Not always. - What do you mean? 278 00:17:36,161 --> 00:17:39,439 Oh, God, John. I'm chasing Sami, chasing Elliot. 279 00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:42,515 You're obviously just looking for a father figure. 280 00:17:42,641 --> 00:17:45,929 - And sometimes you need to settle... - For you? 281 00:17:47,296 --> 00:17:49,765 - You thought Elliot was an arsehole. - Yes. Yes, I did. 282 00:17:49,891 --> 00:17:51,724 At least arseholes do something. 283 00:17:51,850 --> 00:17:54,466 I don't know what it is you do. You're not an arsehole. 284 00:17:54,592 --> 00:17:56,755 - You're... You're an appendix. - Thank you. 285 00:17:56,881 --> 00:17:59,411 What's that make me? Stuck between an appendix and an arsehole. 286 00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:02,552 Well, I'm not a doctor, John, but I'm pretty sure it makes you a dick. 287 00:18:08,095 --> 00:18:10,623 - What was your dad like? - Oh, God. 288 00:18:11,392 --> 00:18:14,603 - Did he live with you? - Yeah, yeah. 289 00:18:14,964 --> 00:18:16,235 He sounded fun. 290 00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:19,399 Not sure fun's quite the word. 291 00:18:19,524 --> 00:18:20,804 Why? 292 00:18:25,095 --> 00:18:28,134 I was seven years old, Christmas Eve, I can't sleep. 293 00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:32,253 And I hear a noise downstairs. 294 00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:36,237 So, I go down to the living room, and I find Father Christmas 295 00:18:36,363 --> 00:18:39,413 completely naked on my sofa. 296 00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:42,932 You see, my dad had been all day in the pub, 297 00:18:43,057 --> 00:18:46,012 and he'd come back and decided to dress up as Santa Claus. 298 00:18:46,137 --> 00:18:49,332 And he'd taken all his clothes off and put the hat and the beard on. 299 00:18:49,457 --> 00:18:52,589 But he had passed out before he could do the rest. 300 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,972 Not exactly the sack I was hoping for. 301 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:02,171 Anyway, the next morning I woke up and Santa was gone. Huge relief. 302 00:19:02,297 --> 00:19:06,281 And I went to tell my dad, who was upstairs by now. 303 00:19:06,507 --> 00:19:10,686 And he was ouraged. 304 00:19:10,812 --> 00:19:12,852 And he got up, sat me down, and he forced me to write 305 00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:15,255 a letter of complaint to the North Pole. 306 00:19:16,701 --> 00:19:19,852 "Dear Santa. Well, I hope you're happy with yourself." 307 00:19:19,977 --> 00:19:23,270 "This behaviour is unacceptable." 308 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,297 "You have let yourself down, you have let the elves down." 309 00:19:28,577 --> 00:19:31,172 Oh, God. He was brilliant. He was. 310 00:19:31,297 --> 00:19:33,768 He was... He was really brilliant. 311 00:19:33,894 --> 00:19:35,714 What happened next Christmas? 312 00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:38,464 That was the last Christmas I spent with my dad. 313 00:19:40,099 --> 00:19:41,954 What's the moral of the story? 314 00:19:43,946 --> 00:19:45,810 There's no such thing as Santa. 315 00:19:47,613 --> 00:19:49,093 Men run away. 316 00:19:50,349 --> 00:19:52,065 You don't always get a happy ending. 317 00:19:53,791 --> 00:19:55,479 I'm going to find Sami. 318 00:19:59,924 --> 00:20:02,252 Have you ever thought about living somewhere else, John? 319 00:20:02,377 --> 00:20:03,516 Like where? 320 00:20:03,642 --> 00:20:05,963 - Have you seen Zulu? - No. 321 00:20:06,089 --> 00:20:07,948 - Check it out. - OK. 322 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,121 Right, sleep. 323 00:20:14,737 --> 00:20:15,937 Goodnight. 324 00:21:45,485 --> 00:21:46,885 John? 325 00:21:49,417 --> 00:21:50,631 John! 326 00:21:51,263 --> 00:21:52,817 Oh, mate. 327 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,476 I couldn't find him. 328 00:22:02,602 --> 00:22:04,768 - He's gone. - It's OK. 329 00:22:04,967 --> 00:22:06,167 It's OK. 330 00:22:22,339 --> 00:22:23,619 Sami! 331 00:22:34,012 --> 00:22:35,612 I'm so sorry. 332 00:23:29,875 --> 00:23:34,475 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 333 00:23:34,525 --> 00:23:39,075 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 25094

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