All language subtitles for Family.Karma.S01E02.Family.Fun.in.Flannel.720p.HDTV.x264-CRiMSON[eztv]_ENG_Subtitles01

- Previously
on "family karma"...

- Our parents basically
founded this community.

They had arranged marriages;

we had arranged friendships.

- We grew up
doing temple classes as kids.

- We're gonna be friends
always.

- Use that vagine.

- I've moved home
and regressed 12 years.

It's a cluster----.

- Bye, daddy!

- I've known monica
since sixth grade.

- You're gonna gaze
at each other, and it's--

- fierce gaze.
- Okay. [laughs]

- when we're at her house,

it's me and her talking,

her cooking and feeding me.

- Does it?

- Why are you, like,
on me?

Richa is the love
of my life.

We are in a long-distance
relationship.

Half the time, she is living
in memphis with her mom.

At the diwali kick-off gala,
I invited all my friends.

I also invited richa's mom.

♪ ♪

if I tell you to leave vishal,
are you gonna leave him?

Marriage means
two families together.

But they try to cut me out.

[lively indian music]

♪ ♪

[woman singing]

[lively indian music]

♪ ♪

- seven years.

- Oh, god.

- You always make my mom seem
so agitated; she's fine.

- She really scares you
that much?

Chillax.

- The best-case scenario
for this gala

is for our families
to get along.

- Five years ago,

richa's mom,
she talked crap about me.

I don't think she thought
I had a job

and I was just focusing
on acting.

- I was really offended,

because why would anybody talk
about someone

that they don't even know
anything about them, you know?

- It's because
I'm dating her daughter.

- He's always been
my baby.

You feel like you have
to protect them, you know?

- Maybe, maybe.

This gala is magnificent,
and I'm seeing all the girls,

and I'm like a kid
in a candy store.

- Brian is my best friend,

so I'm trying to, like,
scope out girls for him.

- Oh, my god,
you're gonna try--

not that he needs the help,

but I'll be his wing girl,
you know?

- I need a ----ing drink
right now.

- Whatevs.

- Brian and monica,

they would be
such a cute couple.

They spend all their time
together.

They've got to be banging
on the side, right?

- I'll do dewar's and ginger.
Perfect.

- It's not bad.

- You were deeply engaged,
and I just--

I didn't know
what you were doing.

- About what?

I want nothing to do
with this.

Next events I go to,
if somebody wants to talk to me,

I'm deaf or I'm not there.

Like, I don't know you;
you don't know me.

♪ ♪

- what?
- No, I'm just saying.

I'm making a statement.

- I tried to wear a sari,
and I had malfunction.

- I'm very close
to reshma parvani.

We've known each other
for 25 years.

- Our friend group,
we've all grown up together

because our moms are
best friends.

I call it
the auntie army.

They're like more parents,
and they're all spying on you.

- If you say so.
[laughs]

hi, lopa.

How you doing?
- Pretty good.

- Same here.

So how's life?
Tell me.

- Even though we've known
the parvanis for so long,

vishal really doesn't talk
about richa and her family.

All I know is, he's scared of
his future mother-in-law.

- I don't think
I've ever told you this,

but, like, half the time,
I think she doesn't like me.

- You know my family.
We just want the best for you.

Poor thing.
I'm scared of her.

- You're down here for richa
planning her wedding?

- I don't know.

- She's a very good friend
of mine, she is,

and I've not seen
that side of her.

- Oh, my god, she's ranting
about vishal's family.

There's no stopping her.

- I feel
I'm in a hurricane

and I don't have shutters
or anything.

You know,
I'm just dying here.

Reshma's my close friend,

and obviously
I have to tell her

what lopa has said,

because she's out here
to sabotage a relationship.

She's very cocky and thinks
she can get away with murder.

[seagulls squawking]

- if you asked me
five years ago

where I would be right now,
I would never have told you

I'd be living with my parents,

trying to start
a clothing line.

I would have told you
I'd be married,

with kids and a family.

So #fail.

I'm excited to see lourdes.

She said wear red underwear
for love,

yellow for prosperity,
green for harmony.

- Yes, so I'm wearing
a floral with green leaves.

- That sounds like
a hot mess, mom.

I'm meeting my spiritual guru,
lourdes,

because I've a lot going on,
and I don't have the answers.

I hope
she's in a good mood.

I love consulting psychics.

You know, a called a guy
in wyoming named charles.

And, you know,
I didn't know him.

I called him on the phone.
I, like, paid him 60 bucks.

And he said I'd be married.

This was about three years ago.

I'm still not married, charles.

In fact, I live at home now.

Charles.

[both laugh]

- life has unexpected bumps,
so that's a golf cart.

- That's true.

Can you believe I still
haven't heard from vishal?

- Give him time.

- Everything with the gala,

it's just been so dramatic
and annoying.

Right after the gala,
my mom told vishal's mom

what auntie lopa said,

and now it's a sh--show.

I've been trying
to call vishal

to make sure he's okay.

But he hasn't responded.
I've received nothing.

It's definitely
out of character.

We usually talk
all day every day.

He calls me first thing
in the morning

while he's taking a sh--.

- Maybe he's fighting
with demons,

like, "oh,
what could have happened?

What did they say?"

- hey, you sleep through
all your alarms?

Huh?
Don't you need to get ready?

- No, I want to stay
in bed.

- Well,
that's not possible.

- Anisha's actually been
blowing up my phone

since the gala too.

- What does it have to do
with her?

- That's what I said.

I was like,
"does it involve us?"

no, it involves the parents.
They'll handle it.

- The only thing that my mom
said about your mom is,

"she's still ignoring me."

- I planned this gala so they
can actually speak properly,

and the exact opposite happened.

Now I have a lot of
other things on my mind.

"will this affect me
and richa's relationship?

Can we get married?"

I don't know what to do.

I wish we could just brush
everything underneath the rug.

I don't want to talk
about it

with anisha or my friends.

- I don't think that anisha's
just gonna ignore it, but okay.

You let me know how that goes.

- That's what he likes to do.

He doesn't like to talk
about anything.

But at some point,
you wonder, like,

"when are you gonna grow up?"

with us, there's no rug.

- Eventually,
the dirt has to come out,

because it can make you sick.

Here we are.
I'm all ready for it.

[doorbell chiming]

hi, lourdes!

- Welcome!

- So good to see you.
- You too.

Let's try to be
completely north

and next to the sun.

- Are we north?

- Yeah,
that's what I'm checking.

- Yeah.
- Lie down, please.

- I love lourdes.

- She met
the de-lie lama.

- Dalai lama.

- Yeah, and she does
the tibetan healing.

[bell ringing]
- she knows what she's doing.

- She went to china to cure
herself, she says, of lupus.

She's come out of it.

- She claims
to have seen the light.

- And now you are gonna
visualize a big bubble

that is growing, growing,
growing,

growing around you.

And it's expanding, expanding,
expanding a lot.

Three, two, one.

[bell rings]

now, how do you feel?

- I feel great, lourdes.
Thank you.

- These are from iceland.

They're real viking runes.

[stones clattering]

- will my business
be successful?

- It will go a success.

- Will I have a kid?

- Yes.
You're gonna have a kid.

- Okay.

- Oh, my god.
[laughs]

I'm very excited,
because I know

she's going to be
such a great mother.

- Can you look her eyes?

Can you look her face,
how she looks so happy?

- Coming up...

- Divorce still was kind of
taboo in our community.

When I finally got divorced,

I realized that I ruined
my child's life.

- If it was up to my dad,
it would have been arranged.

- Our parents wanted a doctor
or some bullsh--, whatever.

- My mom really had to fight
for love,

and it inspires me
to do the same.

I am looking
for an indian girl,

and, you know, idealistically,
I'd love to find a jasmine.

- Okay, yeah, but I mean
in the indian sense.

[light upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- lucy!
I'm home!

- Hi.
- What's up?

- You have to continue
to work while--

- well, yeah.

I mean, I'm never done working
until, like, 5:00.

- Listen, what I have been
saying to you

for I don't know
how many months:

Your room has to be
in order.

Can you tell what are
your dirty clothes,

what are your clean clothes,
from the piles that you have?

- Yes, you know
what that's called?

The smell test, okay?

- Yuck!
That's such a--

why are things on the floor?

- Well, I'm backed up.
I told you this.

- What the (bleep)
does "backed up" mean?

- Have you ever been behind
on something?

- Never.

When you have your wife,
oh, my god.

- She's gonna understand.

- Please give him a wife,
because god help me.

Let me show you.

- In the indian community,

until I get married,

living at home
is definitely normal.

- I love you at home,
but step it up a notch.

Your future wife
has high expectations.

- So he's in training,
basically, right?

- She's like, "oh, my god,
you're an idiot,"

is pretty much
what she said.

- No, I didn't say that.

- Oh, (bleep).
- Oh, my god.

- Nia broke
my ----ing hanger again.

- Don't blame my dog right now.

- What do you mean?
You let her in my room.

- Look at this.

I gave you a container
for socks.

You can't even zip it up.

- But there's a lot of socks,
so I got to dig through them.

- That's not my problem,

mr. Participant
of the "socks club."

- look, I got donuts on today.

- Sweetheart, listen.
This is bad.

You know, you're an adult.

- I will not be living at home
till I'm 40.

Hell, no.

I thought we agreed

that if I'm gonna stay
in this house,

it's partially mine.

- [laughing]

♪ ♪

- me and vishal usually have
our weekly lunch,

but he's gone radio silent.

I mean, this is someone
who would tell me

when he was shaving his chest,
waxing his eyebrows,

and now I don't know
what's going on at all.

- Hi.
Ah, I see her.

- You look stunning,
as usual.

- You look gorgeous too.
- I love your hair back.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

Are you gonna drink?
- Yeah, done.

Where is our waiter?

- Yeah, I would love
to order some food.

- Oh, I love
the wagyu beef tartare roll.

- You said that
like an indian.

- [gasps] I did?
What did I say?

- "vagyu beef."

- which one is it?
Wagyu?

- All I know is,
you said "v."

- [laughing]

- everyone knows bali.

- She's fabulous,
and she does her own thing,

and she doesn't give a (bleep).

- Bali's always been
like my auntie.

Basically, she's friends
with my mom,

but she also tries
to be friends with my friends.

- She's in her 40s,

so she is technically
an auntie.

But I can't call bali
an auntie.

I mean, look at her.
She's so hot.

♪ ♪

- I'm here!

Just a tad late.

- Thank you very much.

So, clearly, I'm not
your typical indian woman--

not just because all of this

but also because I've been
married and divorced twice.

My first marriage was to
a very wealthy man in india.

We had a beautiful daughter,
anushka,

and I lived
a really fabulous life.

Unfortunately, the marriage
started falling apart,

so I left.

- I gave up a lot of money.

I mean, there was a button
on the side of my bed.

If I pressed it incessantly,
they knew

I just wanted somebody
to do this

to my arms or to my feet.

I miss that button so much.

- I'm so glad we're, like,
having sushi on a Tuesday.

- I know.
I love it.

And my shoe just broke.

[both laugh]

see?
- They're cute.

- I mean,
but what just happened?

- Oh, my.

- Can I get you guys anything
to start?

- I was thinking
the big-eye tuna.

- Do you guys have, like,
an extra pair of shoes?

I'm not even joking.

- I'm so sorry.
- No, it's not your fault.

- That's terrible.
- I'm very close to bali.

We think the same way.
We laugh at the same things.

- No, but don't tell me.

- "shoes breaking, meaning."

oh, my god.

- What does that mean?

- Nothing, 'cause
I know it's not true.

That's why
I think it's funny.

- What is it?
Tell me.

- That your sex life
is dusty.

- Oh, really?

Because I'm almost
40-blah-blah-blah years old,

and it's the best sex
of my life right now.

O'malley, my boyfriend,
we've been

in a long-distance
relationship for a few years.

He is an olympian
weightlifter.

He's massive.

What's been going on
with you, babe?

Have you fully adjusted
to living back at home?

- The price of living at home

is just my mom telling me
to get married every day.

- Now, is it just
a general conversation,

or is it a vishnu conversation?

- It's a vishnu conversation.

I was with an indian guy
named vishnu for 12 years.

I was killing it.
I was the perfect indian girl.

Things have changed.

We both put our careers first,

and we're not together anymore.

- Was vishnu
your first boyfriend?

- First everything.

- How long did you guys wait
before you had sex?

- It's extreme.

- [laughs]

- I waited three years.

When it finally happened,

I felt like an old hag
having sex.

Like, it was about time.
"let's get it done."

- what's next?

- I thought I would be married,
with a family by now.

- I can't sit here and, like,

"oh, marriage is
the best thing ever."

it's not.

- The clock is ticking.
I'm 34.

And not a clue,
for the first time in my life,

of what the next step is.

- I call bullsh-- on people

that say they have it
all figured out.

I mean, I wing it
every day, anisha.

I wing being a parent.

Just go be happy.
Just do you.

- Thank god for bali,

because she's the complete
opposite of vishal.

She has nothing to hide.
And she talks a lot.

- Are you kidding me?

My other shoe just broke.

- Oh, my god.
- [laughing]

what is going on?
- What is wrong with this?

- You just have
a bad sex life.

- Coming up...

- Like, how do you
really feel, though,

I mean, like,
as far as friends?

Like, that's where
your head's at.

- Yeah.
Where's your head at?

- You know, I think--
I think a little more.

- I was 24.

Mommy was the first one
I met, actually,

and then I shopped around,
saw a few others...

- That is so wrong.
That is so wrong.

I would never get
an arranged marriage.

Hell, no.

- I wouldn't do it again
either.

[upbeat indian music]

♪ ♪

- oh, wow, look at this.

- Who's this little guy?
- Simba.

- Did we want to order anything
for little simba?

- Yeah, the boca chicken.

Thank you.

- What time is it in india?

- 9:30 at night.

I was in india
for four weeks.

- Hi, daddy!

I wish I was in india
right now, I'm not gonna lie.

We're not just
father and daughter.

- We're buddies.

- It's kind of like
a bonnie-and-clyde combo,

only, like,
we don't rob banks.

- No, we would never
rob a bank.

- No.
- No, that would be wrong.

- He's actually eating.

So my new thing is,
I want to go to budapest.

- Budapest?
That sounds interesting.

- Do you have, like,
a bucket list

of things
that you want to do?

- Lose 40 pounds.
That would be--

- no, that's not
a bucket list item.

Jump out of a plane?

- That's on your list,
not mine.

What else?
Hmm.

- Do you ever feel like
you want to, like--

like, I'm not a fan of
the whole dating realm, but...

- Oh, we're going there.
[laughs]

I don't think
I'm ready for that.

Or right now, I'm not
really interested in that.

- You ever feel like
you're, like, alone?

- Mm...

It's okay.
It is what it is, right?

- The indian community promotes
painting a perfect picture.

When you go through a divorce

in a community
where all eyes are on you,

there's almost, like, a little
bit of shame attached to it.

I missed you at the gala.

- Oh, really?
- It was nice.

Why did you, like,
not want to, like--

'cause you were very, like,
uninterested

in the indian community
for a little bit.

- I think after the divorce,

I think I just kind of
lost interest.

- But do you feel like
when you did go around it,

did people, like,
probe questions?

- A little, and I think
that's why I just kind of said,

"you know what?
I'm staying away from all this."

- yeah.

- Monica was 15 when her mom
and I got divorced.

I was overcome with guilt,

and to this day,
I carry that guilt,

because I realize
that I ruined my child's life.

- No, you didn't.
- Well...

In this society,
you have that pressure.

I felt like they looked at me
in a different way,

and that's why I think
I withdrew from society.

I just didn't want
to deal with it.

But remember, monica,
we're going back

13, 14 years ago.

The word "divorce" still was
kind of taboo in our community.

- Huge, like--

- you know, I didn't want
to put you in the middle of,

"why is this going on?"

you know, I didn't want that.

- By you not coming,

then people ask,
"where's your dad?"

- well, I did come
for your dances every year.

- It felt like all of us
went through a divorce,

like me included in it.

It taught me
so many life lessons.

It's really hard to just get
in a relationship with anybody,

because I want to be so careful
with who I pick.

Like, I don't want it to be
two households,

'cause that was hard on me.

I think simba has the -itis.
He's, like, knocked out.

- Oh, 'cause he ate
so much.

You little heifer.

♪ ♪

- you getting your hair done
today?

- I think I'm just gonna get
a beard trim.

- I just got mine cut
on Tuesday,

so I just need a drink.

♪ ♪

- cheers.

- I was out
till 4:30 last night.

I might have to
not drink as much.

What's up, man?
How are you?

- How's it going, bro?
- Good.

- We brought a ton of jameson,
shaan.

Feel free to let it flow.

- I also brought a bottle too.
It's really good.

- See, that's a classy bottle.
He brings a full bottle.

- Shaan patel
is like my baby brother.

I've known him his whole life.

- I look at shaan
as mr. Miami.

- The patels created
the indian community here.

They were one of the first
indians here.

♪ ♪

the patels
are extremely wealthy.

- They all live
on the patel compound.

- I love going to the compound.

You can't miss the statues.

- Totally different.
No one else has it.

- I don't want a statue.

- Not in my house,
because I may be scared

when I come down
and see something like that.

[ominous music]

- I'm not a fan of the statues.

It's a nice house, though.
Nice house.

- Beautiful property.

- Ooh, can I try it
a little bit?

- Yeah.
- Oh, my god!

[laughter]

- can I try his beard next?
- No.

- What's going on, bro?

- Sorry I'm late, man.

Let me get some ginger ale too.

- No, you're drinking it
straight, like a man.

- Oh, my god,
there's one-upmanship

all the time in indian culture,

especially indian guys.

It's always like a competition.

- I can drink you
under the table.

- What?
- Don't get me started, bro.

"well, I drink bourbon."

it's like, "well, I drink
the best bourbon."

- amrit, you were out
till 4:30?

- Yeah, apparently, I thought
I was turning 21 again.

And it was fun.

- All right, I'm in the chair.

- So you got rowdy last night,
or you kept it--

- define "rowdy."

[music blaring
and people cheering]

at no point in the night
was I like,

"oh, my god,
I am about to"--

- like, cheat?
- Yeah.

I trust myself, and I know

I can do the long distance
with nicholas.

But 30 minutes away
from south beach.

Everyone on south beach has,
like, 4% body fat.

Gorgeous men.

I'm not gonna promise you
that I'm not gonna look.

I'm gonna look.

- Also, now you're living
in your parents' house.

- I know, maybe--
[laughter]

- not a lot of options
for you to do that in.

- What I say to girls,
'cause I'm living at home,

I'll just say, "yeah, you know,
I got roommates."

- have you brought monica home?

- Nope, never.

- Is there anything going on
with you and monica?

- Ooh, ooh.

- There should be,
though.

You'd be
an attractive couple.

- Wait, so is there actually
something happening?

- I don't know,
to be honest with you.

I don't know
where her head's at.

- Are you ready to be serious?

- I mean, I'm always--
I mean, nothing's set in--

I mean, she didn't say anything.

I mean,
nothing's been established.

We're not dating, so--

- [stammers]
she's really weird with dating.

- Why do you say that?
- Uh-oh!

- Is this weird that,
like, mom and bali

kind of set this up?

- I don't know.

- Yeah.
She tells me everything.

- Unimpressed.

- Do you like indian girls,
or do you like white girls?

- I've never dated
an indian girl in my life.

- But it's the pressure, right?
Our parents.

- My parents would prefer
I married indian,

but they know
they can't control their kids.

- My brother married, like,
non-indian.

- Yeah.
- He had to deal with hell.

- And you ended up with richa,
which is really fortunate.

- Yeah, yeah.
- She's indian.

- The first time
I met richa's mother,

richa was like, "oh,
you're gonna have it so easy,

because you're the first
indian boy I'm dating."

[sighs]
you can't win them all.

Thursday
is my seven-year anniversary.

- Yes.
- Ooh.

- So I told amrit to help me
plan my date.

- I mean,
what are you thinking?

- She loves animals.
- Oh.

So it's a seven-year-versary.
- Yeah.

- And then now
it's peaches and cream.

- Yeah.

- My dad happened
to get cornered

by vishal's mother-in-law.

- I'm gonna keep
my mouth shut,

but in the indian community
especially,

fights among families can
totally destroy an engagement.

- Coming up...

- I was really taken back
by lopa.

I just feel it should have been
one-on-one with your family.

- So if they want to judge me

based on somebody else's
opinion, go for it.

[laid-back music]

♪ ♪

- image in indian culture
is really, really important.

When I lived in bombay,

I was the beauty editor
at elle india.

I was always dressed
like a christmas tree,

dripping in diamonds.

♪ ♪

oh, sh--,
it's already 12:00.

- Uh, no, not exactly.

Hey!
How's it going?

Hey, it's bali.
What up?

Listen, mike, I have
orange crush, two boxes.

I'm now doing
sales and marketing

for fresh-cut flowers.

How can you tell on the invoice
who the farm is?

- But what a frickin' pain
in the ass, though.

I mean, I guess working
in an office

has its own...Charm.

Camilo, you know
what a colonic cleansing is?

No?
- No.

- I want one, by the way.

I'm, like, constantly
full of sh--

'cause I'm constipated.

- Oh!
[laughs]

- I want to get one,

but I'm not sure
how uncomfortable that would be.

- Yeah, it would be
a little awkward.

- Right?
- Yeah.

- Anal is just
for special occasions, meryl.

- [laughs]

the advantage of being
an indian princess.

- Most people think
I'm foolish

to have left
my first marriage.

My ex-husband has
(bleep)-you money.

But I'm now a single mom

paying all the bills.

- My mom has been
in the business for many years.

I love it.
I love being here.

I love being here.

Actually, like, I hate working.

I hate working.
I don't know why.

Like, I don't want a career.

I don't want to save people.

There's nothing fun about it.

That bitch who burnt the bra,
I want to slap her.

And I know that's
a terrible thing to say,

'cause I have
a 17-year-old daughter.

Anushka and I, we have
a unique relationship.

- We're really close.

- Do you think I should wear
the white outfit tomorrow night?

With the white top
or with the green one?

- Green.
The white top looks old.

- But my stomach is not
where I want it to be.

I haven't always been

the ideal role model,

but I'm just doing my best
as a single parent

working really hard

to be this amazing provider.

- My mom's a bad bitch.

- Well,
if I do say so myself.

When I moved back,
I had to make sure, like,

I was available for anushka.

That's what I'm really
grateful for

as far as, like,
the industry I work in,

because the hours
are really fantastic,

and I'm--like, I realize

I'm doing damage control
right now,

because a lot of nonsense
just spewed out of my mouth.

Can we please cut the
"burn-the-bra bitch" comment?

Oh, my god.

♪ ♪

- hey.
- How's it going?

- Are you vishal?
- Yes, we spoke on the phone.

- Richa.
- Nice to meet you. I'm ryan.

- Nice to meet you as well.

- So you guys ready?
- Yes.

- Okay, come with me.
- Don't know what I'm ready for.

- It's like an adventure.

- We're celebrating
seven years.

- Really?
- Yeah.

[lemurs howling]

- this is our first stop, okay?
So this is the lemurs.

Now, this is gonna be
interesting.

You are totally safe.
You are a female.

The queen lemur will
identify you as female.

You, I just want you
to keep your head lower.

- You are not safe.

- We want to the queen to know
that you understand

in her world, like,
you are down here.

- How excited are you?
- I can't contain myself.

- Okay, in we go.
Hey, stinkpots.

- Okay, head is down.

- Okay, come on, angels.

- Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.

- So the queen went
right to you.

You're good.
- Hi!

Oh, no.
[laughing]

- the queen likes me.
- She does like you.

- After seven years,

I'm committed
in this relationship.

Why do they all like you?

My mom hasn't made it easy
for him,

but that's one thing
that I like about vishal,

that he hasn't given up.

He's constantly willing
to fight to make me happy.

- Good job, guys.
- Didn't attack me.

- Do you want to do a photo
with our parrots?

[parrot squawking]

- whoa.
[laughs]

- yeah, seven years.

- Hi, kangaroo.

- Aw, you're gonna be
such a good mommy.

- What?
Oh, my god, I'm gonna die!

My dream just came true.

♪ ♪

- oh, my god.

So this is how a penguin says,
"I love you."

- you don't do that
when I come home.

- I know that our parents
don't get along,

but I want to show
all the aunties and uncles

richa is my girl
at the end of the day.

We're gonna get married...

Eventually.

- Thanks for coming.

Both: Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

- So much fun.
Really, really appreciate it.

I'm so hungry now.
- I'm starving.

- Hi!
- Hello.

- Hi. How are you?

- Can I get
two chicken sandwiches?

Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Enjoy yourself.
- Thank you.

- Listen, the reason why
I planned this date...

- Well, it's our anniversary.
- It's our anniversary.

- Are you proposing
to me again?

- So what I was--

- why are you so nervous?
- No.

- You're, like, spazzing
and shaking.

- What I want to do is

plan a traditional
engagement ceremony.

I proposed western style,

down on one knee.

But in the eyes of her mother,

we're not officially engaged
until we have the roka ceremony,

and we put that off.

For what reason?

- Really?
You want me to name them all?

- So then we're legally allowed

to start courting each other,
from what I read.

- Why don't you call my mom
and ask her first?

[birds shrieking]

[laughs]
- shut up!

I'm gonna call your mom first,
before anything; I know that.

At the end of the day,
if either one of our parents

are not happy, I don't see
marriage as a possibility.

- Ah, yeah, if my mother said,
"richa,

I am honestly
not happy with this,"

I may have to take
a step back.

But she also really likes you
as a person.

- We've been engaged
for two years,

and everyone keeps saying

that a long engagement's
not good.

[phone bleeps]

[sighs]

I have to see anisha
at the pumpkin patch.

- After the gala,
vishal went awol.

But like the good indian
planners that we are,

we've actually planned

a pumpkin patch
weeks in advance.

- No, never.

We don't cancel.
We show up.

- What are you gonna do?

- I'm just not gonna talk
about the gala.

- [laughing]

you're gonna waste a fry.

- Coming up...

- I can split my tongue
in half.

- No, you can't.
- Yes, I can.

- Let me see it.

Is that real?
- La la da da.

- These past couple months,
I'm not gonna lie;

I just started looking at her
differently.

[upbeat indian music]

♪ ♪

[ominous musical sting]

- I would love to talk
about the gala,

but he's refusing.

- With vishal?

[laughing]
I don't have a car.

I'm excited to see everyone.

- I hope anisha doesn't try

bringing the gala up again
to me.

I'll ride to the pumpkin patch
with her.

She's my friend.

But I'm not gonna speak

about my personal business
to her.

Hell, no.

- I love how we're all, like,
wearing flannel

in 90-degree weather.

- People are gonna think
we're so stupid.

- Yeah.
- I just really wanted

to feel like fall.

I wanted us all
to wear flannel.

And we look good.

- I do.

- I was getting fomo

watching everyone on instagram

in the cold,
wearing their flannels.

- That literally is my life.

Well, we're here.
It looks super cute.

- This is really cute,
actually.

[phone buzzing]
- pinto farm.

- Oh, this is bali
calling me.

Hi.
We're pulling in right now.

- Hey.
Okay, I just got here too.

- Are you wearing flannel?

- Yes, I'm wearing flannel.

I'm wearing boots.

- Okay.
- Winning!

- Okay, bye.

I got the pumpkin patch
flannel memo,

but you don't put all of this
in flannel.

- You're not wearing
flannel!

- [laughs]

I didn't realize we were
serious about the flannel.

- Yes!
- I love bali.

But when we were growing up
together,

I was this, like,
geeky 10-year-old,

and she was this, like,
gorgeous 20-year-old.

- I want to take a picture
of you guys, though.

You guys look really cute.

Look uncomfortably cold.

- I only got close to her

when I was starting
to come out.

She was super supportive,

and I was like, "hey, listen.

"I like men,
and you're crazy,

so we're gonna get along
really well."

- oh, my god!

You guys wore flannel!
- Oh, good, flannel.

- Thank you.
- What's up, man?

- Hi! It's so good
to meet you finally!

- Isn't she, like,
a mini selena gomez?

- Good job, shaan.

- Shaan patel,

he's definitely one of

our community's
most eligible bachelors.

- Should we start off
by buying, like,

a milkshake or iced drink?

- So pooja better not
(bleep) it up.

- Let's go inside.
It's hot.

- It's really hot.

- I'll text monica
and say, "meet inside."

- oh, yeah, here we go.

It's hot as sh--.

I'm glad I didn't wear
any flannels.

- She looks like she's going
to the beach too.

Why did we wear flannel?

- How are you?
- This is pooja.

- Hi!
It's so nice to meet you.

How are you?
- Good. How are you?

- Hi.
- Hey. How are you?

Shaan's a really sweet guy.

- Oh, man.

- What?

Bali and the aunties
set that up.

And then, like, randomly,

we bump into both his aunt
and his uncle.

[laughing]

now they're gonna be
on your facebook,

on my facebook.

- This is why, like,
indians have to date in secret.

- I agree.

It's not happening.

- Did you guys come together?
- Mm-hmm.

- Are you guys dating?
- No, carpooling.

- What's the deal?
- Ooh, serious.

Dude, carpooling
is really serious.

- Take it down a notch.
- We're carpooling as well.

- I'm carpooling,
but I'm not dating them.

- The carpool with benefits?

- More like the awkward carpool.
- No, just carpool.

- I'm not buying it, but okay.

- [gasps]
- you just said, "ask--"

- no, no, no.

- We've always had this, like,

very complicated dynamic,
I guess you could say.

But for the last few years,
it's been, you know,

just friends.

Well, except for...
[mumbling]

[laughs]

okay, so two years ago,
I did like him,

but he didn't like me,
and now...

Yeah, so we do this thing
every so often.

- There's a magic show.
You'd love that.

They'll make little
balloon animals for you.

- I can split my tongue
in half.

- No, you can't.
- Yes, I can.

- Let me see.

Ew!
- [laughs]

- is that real?
- La la da da.

- In the past, she's told me
she likes me

in a kind of random way
every time.

But these past couple months,
I'm not gonna lie;

I just started looking at her
differently.

I just like her a lot more
than I did ever.

- Who wants the paddleboat?
- Me.

- I don't think the aunties
should paddleboat.

- Okay, I'm gonna go on it.

- All right, I'll go with you,
vish.

- What do you want to do?
- Let's just watch.

- Okay.
- All right, so how are we

running this operation?

- Let's go in pairs.
- Okay, I'll go with pooja.

Sorry.
[laughter]

- all right, here.
I'm gassing up.

I'm going first gear.
Let's go. Move.

- Vish, are you steering?
Hey, guys.

How's the romantic getaway
for six?

- I love it.

- This is like
old-school indian

when everyone goes on, like,
a group date.

- Yes.
No hanky-panky!

- There they are.
- Hi, guys!

- So they literally
have to paddle themselves?

I'm so glad I didn't do this.

I want to be relatable
with my younger friends.

It's just hot.
It's sweaty.

It's muggy.
Let's get water.

There's nothing cute
about this one in the sun.

Jalapeno peppers.
- Oh, my god, yum.

Here, share.
I'm so hungry.

- I don't want the bread.

- Oh, you don't want the bread.
- No.

So you do
what you need to do,

and I'll eat
just the chicken.

- Are you eating cheese?
- No.

- Nothing.

Yeah, bali's vain.

That's all our moms.

That's, like, an auntie thing.

Sometimes she does
auntie stuff.

Sometimes she does
the things we do,

like go to a pumpkin patch.

You couldn't pay an auntie
to go to a pumpkin patch.

- Please don't call me
for a pumpkin patch again.

- Waterfall!

- Stop, we gotta pedal.
We gotta pedal in.

[all yelling]

- get away from it!
- No, monica!

- All right, guys, I want
to get off this ----ing boat.

- Do you think monica's dating?

- No idea.

She kind of keeps
her personal life to herself.

- I actually like her
and brian together.

- I asked her.

I was like,
"are you guys dating?"

and she was like,
"no, we're carpooling."

- pumpkin!

- All right, guys.
Let's paint.

- All right,
let's go over there.

- Where are the lovebirds?

- Me and amrit?
- No, the other ones.

- [laughs]
"me and amrit."

- I don't think
those two are lovebirds.

- Not like you.
- But look at them.

- By the way,
mine's coming out terrible.

- Mine too. I'm just painting
the whole thing blue.

- Yeah, me too.

How annoying were all
the monica-brian jokes?

- I didn't--oh, yeah.

I don't even know
how to respond.

Sometimes I'm just,
like, awkward.

I just chuckle.
"ha ha."

why can't I just be friends
with somebody

and not have to date them
or like them?

You know what I mean?
- Right.

Like, as far as friends, like,
that's where your head's at.

- Yeah.
Where's your head at?

- You know, I think--
I think a little more.

- A little more what?

- Like, as far as friends,

that's where
your head's at.

- Yeah.
Where's your head at?

- You know, I think--
I think a little more.

- A little more what?

Did you watch a bollywood movie
before we came here?

'cause this is what you do,
and then, like,

two seconds later, you're fine
and you're at the club.

Like, are you thinking
right now?

Like, we've done this before.

I told brian that I liked him,

and he ran the other direction.

Like, you go to a bar

and, like,
try to hit on ten girls.

- Does that stuff, like,
really weigh in?

Like, when you think about me,
you think I'm, like, a joke

because of all that sh--?

- Yeah.
- Really?

- Yeah.

- I'm not really
----ing around anymore.

What have I done
the last year?

Look at this new and improved
brian that you're seeing.

- Are you trying to sell me
a little bit?

- I'm just saying,
don't count it out.

You know?

I ain't going anywhere.

Let's just put it that way.

- I don't know
what you want me to say.

- Vishal, how long
have you been engaged?

- Um, almost two years,
about.

- Oh.
- It's been long-distance.

Is that the excuse of why
we're not married yet? No.

- Is there any hesitation
that she has or no?

- No, it's really--
my painting sucks, by the way.

I don't know what I'm doing.

- Vishal and richa,

there's nothing healthy
about long engagements.

- That's the other issue I have
with people in our group.

Like, we should know
these things.

And I know
it's not our business,

but some people aren't as open.

Since all the drama
at the gala,

we're kind of
in a delicate situation,

because I'm not just friends
with vishal.

I'm friends
with his entire family.

His mom's best friends
with my mom.

And what the (bleep)?

No one's talking to anybody.

♪ ♪

- hi.

I just saw you driving up,
so I...

I was extremely uncomfortable
at the gala,

because I've known reshma
for 25 years.

I feel lopa was using me

to get a message across.

- It's a family affair,
so why drag me into this?

Like, I just had to go
and see reshma

and clear the air.

Did you eat lunch?

- I'm a little hungry.

Hi. How are you?

- Hi. Welcome.
I'm good. How are you?

- Good.
- We'll order the truffle fries.

- Truffle fries? Okay.
- Yes.

- We'll have the heavy food.
- [laughs]

I'm happy we are doing this,
because to me,

you are a very dear friend.

I was really taken back
by lopa.

I just feel it should have been
one-on-one with your family.

What was she thinking?

- I have no idea.
- That's my thing.

- I always feel like
I'm so friendly,

that people should be able
to talk to me,

and yet I could never
reach out to her, right?

- Yes, yes.

- I don't know.

I don't think I went out
to hurt anybody.

I don't think so, but the world
knows me very well.

People know who I am,
so if they want to judge me

based on somebody else's
opinion, go for it.

- When this wedding happens,
I'm just standing by your side.

- You better stand
by my side.

- I'm not going to be
anywhere near her,

because I look at her
like a danger zone now.

- I know.

- Before we get married,
I do want to plan, like,

an official
engagement ceremony,

which we never had, and that's
something you normally do.

- So when do you want
to do that?

- I want to do that
pretty soon,

but I first want to run it by
the parents too.

And I think
that's also gonna start

having our families
come together.

- What my goal is:
The kids to be happy.

- Yes.
- It's not about me.

It's not about lopa.

- Like, you'll have to plan
with her.

- Yeah, I guess so.

- Yes. [laughs]
you'll need it.

- When the time comes,

in order for these kids
to really get married,

it is crucial for us
to sit together,

but I have no expectations
about that.

- I mean, I guess as long
as marriage is the end goal.

- I wouldn't lead someone
down a path

that we're gonna get married

unless we are gonna
get married, right?

- There's no other person
for me.

I want to have
a big family wedding,

'cause family is very important
to me.

- Let's go get
monica and brian.

- I am cautiously optimistic

that me and richa
are gonna get married

and have kids
and she's gonna be happy.

- We need one group photo, guys.

- Right in front
of the pumpkins.

- My mom's gonna be happy.
Lopa's gonna be happy.

Time heals all wounds?

- One, two, three, cheese.

- Not gonna say sorry
for things that happened

five years ago,

and I cannot keep saying sorry
forever.

I've done my part,
and that's it.

Can I ask you a question?

I don't want an interview
to talk about her anymore.

If that can stop,
I would really prefer it,

because I've had it.

I feel like crying right now,
and I don't like that.

I don't want to be put
in that position.

And I've been put into
this position too many times.

I'm sorry.

I cannot take this anymore.

- Next time
on "family karma"...

[upbeat music]

- oh, sh--.

- I'm thinking
of freezing my eggs.

- [laughs]
- why is that funny?

- What the (bleep) is that?
- You need a coupon?

I got a coupon!
- Stop.

That's the most indian thing
I've ever seen.

When it comes
to winning over monica,

you got to play the long game.

- I haven't heard from vishal.

It's just hurting me.

- What happened
with you and anisha?

What's going on?

- You think she's crushing
on vishal?

- No.
- No.

- I think she's crushing.
- No, no, no.

- He's like, "do you think
anisha likes vishal?"

- go (bleep) yourself.

- Okay, clearly you're--

they're just two mama's boys

with small-dick energy,

and they can go (bleep)
themselves.

- For more information
on "family karma,"

go to bravotv.Com