Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,019
"Will and Grace" is recorded in front
2
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,188
of a live studio audience.
3
00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:04,456
Good morning.
4
00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,092
Welcome to our gender reveal breakfast.
5
00:00:07,116 --> 00:00:09,494
It's a big moment.
6
00:00:09,518 --> 00:00:11,363
We are one prick away from finding out
7
00:00:11,387 --> 00:00:13,498
one of the most important...
8
00:00:13,522 --> 00:00:15,434
Yeah, can we move things along please?
9
00:00:15,458 --> 00:00:16,829
Lot to do today.
10
00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:19,938
Sorry. We are two pricks away
11
00:00:19,962 --> 00:00:21,540
from finding out...
12
00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,976
Guys, I have a speech and a poem,
13
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,277
so can we please just do this?
14
00:00:25,301 --> 00:00:27,928
Yeah, audience question.
Can we cut the poem?
15
00:00:28,671 --> 00:00:31,116
I have to sneak my headshot
and resume into a stack
16
00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:32,885
of submissions for a Broadway show.
17
00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:34,119
And then we have to get to the ballpark
18
00:00:34,143 --> 00:00:35,354
because Karen's baseball team
19
00:00:35,378 --> 00:00:37,022
has their championship game today.
20
00:00:37,046 --> 00:00:40,180
Me owning a baseball team,
who-da thunk it?
21
00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:43,962
It's almost as crazy
as a homo having a baby.
22
00:00:47,657 --> 00:00:48,901
Go on, Wilma.
23
00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:51,470
Thank you.
24
00:00:51,494 --> 00:00:53,805
A gender party is a curious thing.
25
00:00:53,829 --> 00:00:56,163
Ah!
26
00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,534
It's a girl.
27
00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,215
Oh, thank God! It's a girl.
28
00:01:03,239 --> 00:01:06,685
I'm gonna name her Harper.
29
00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:09,655
She'll be dressed head-to-toe
in breathable French cotton.
30
00:01:09,679 --> 00:01:13,325
She'll smell like an expensive
hotel bathroom her entire life.
31
00:01:13,349 --> 00:01:14,860
She'll be a giver
32
00:01:14,884 --> 00:01:16,695
but still have a fierce
independent streak.
33
00:01:16,719 --> 00:01:18,163
And most important,
34
00:01:18,187 --> 00:01:19,398
she won't be a gross, smelly boy
35
00:01:19,422 --> 00:01:20,732
that I'll have to teach sports to.
36
00:01:20,756 --> 00:01:23,902
Okay. Okay.
37
00:01:23,926 --> 00:01:26,338
Okay. Sorry, that's...
38
00:01:26,362 --> 00:01:29,007
I'm done. Your turn, Grace.
39
00:01:29,031 --> 00:01:31,510
Remember, boy, girl...
40
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,162
Doesn't matter.
41
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,218
Um...
42
00:01:40,242 --> 00:01:42,521
- actually, I'm gonna wait.
- What?
43
00:01:42,545 --> 00:01:44,723
All of a sudden,
I'm not sure what I want,
44
00:01:44,747 --> 00:01:46,625
or what I don't want, or how I'll feel
45
00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:49,416
when I find out what I've got, so, um...
46
00:01:50,753 --> 00:01:52,486
Yeah.
47
00:01:55,925 --> 00:01:57,202
Yeah, well, great party.
48
00:01:57,226 --> 00:01:58,203
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
49
00:01:58,227 --> 00:01:59,538
We're gonna jam.
50
00:01:59,562 --> 00:02:01,473
You two are delicious,
everything we're for.
51
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:02,731
Shift it, Kar.
52
00:02:06,551 --> 00:02:14,557
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
53
00:02:15,144 --> 00:02:16,888
♪ Hello, my baby, hello, my honey ♪
54
00:02:16,912 --> 00:02:19,091
♪ Hello, my baby girl ♪
55
00:02:19,115 --> 00:02:21,159
♪ Having a baby girl ♪
56
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,761
♪ She's a baby and... ♪
57
00:02:22,785 --> 00:02:25,230
♪ And she's a girl ♪
58
00:02:25,254 --> 00:02:26,765
I'll work on the lyrics.
59
00:02:28,924 --> 00:02:30,635
Hey, Jenny, hi.
60
00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:32,404
Hey, I got your message. What's up?
61
00:02:32,428 --> 00:02:35,104
Oh, big news. We're having a girl.
62
00:02:35,128 --> 00:02:36,808
We're having a girl!
63
00:02:36,832 --> 00:02:38,126
Can you believe it?
64
00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:40,779
Oh, congrats. I'm so happy for you.
65
00:02:40,803 --> 00:02:42,848
Well, I'm so happy for both of us.
66
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:45,450
We're bringing a beautiful
baby girl into the world,
67
00:02:45,474 --> 00:02:47,419
and even more important, it's not a boy.
68
00:02:47,443 --> 00:02:49,287
We're having a girl.
69
00:02:49,311 --> 00:02:52,591
Well... I mean, you're having a girl.
70
00:02:52,615 --> 00:02:54,960
What? No, we're doing this together.
71
00:02:54,984 --> 00:02:56,128
Well, not exactly.
72
00:02:56,152 --> 00:02:58,163
Uh, I'm providing a service.
73
00:02:58,187 --> 00:03:00,664
I'm like an Amazon Locker for your baby.
74
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,869
Come on. This is huge for us.
75
00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:06,438
At least let me take you
to lunch to celebrate.
76
00:03:06,462 --> 00:03:07,439
What's your favorite restaurant?
77
00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:09,107
Café Figaro, but I'm actually
78
00:03:09,131 --> 00:03:10,308
meeting a guy for lunch here.
79
00:03:10,332 --> 00:03:12,711
- Oh, who's the guy?
- Chase.
80
00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:13,812
I thought we didn't like him.
81
00:03:13,836 --> 00:03:16,448
You said he was a bad guy.
I'm gonna meet you there.
82
00:03:16,472 --> 00:03:17,616
What? No.
83
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,782
What did I tell you about boundaries?
84
00:03:18,806 --> 00:03:20,552
You do not get involved with my exes,
85
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:23,770
and you do not demonstrate
how to work a nursing bra.
86
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,058
I didn't know the pump was on.
87
00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:27,748
It was upsetting for both of us.
88
00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:30,796
Hold on.
89
00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:32,497
I got another call.
90
00:03:32,521 --> 00:03:34,299
- Hello.
- Uh, Mr. Truman...
91
00:03:34,323 --> 00:03:36,368
Dante DiLorenzo.
92
00:03:36,392 --> 00:03:39,137
We met at my hair clinic
a few months ago.
93
00:03:39,161 --> 00:03:40,906
Uh, this is a courtesy call
94
00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:43,341
to let you know that
I have ended my marriage
95
00:03:43,365 --> 00:03:45,899
in order to live my truth as a gay man.
96
00:03:47,570 --> 00:03:49,181
Okay.
97
00:03:49,205 --> 00:03:50,916
Sorry, I'm new at this,
98
00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:53,485
but you did mark single
on your consultation form.
99
00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:55,587
FYI, my ex-wife, Melinda,
100
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:58,445
is pretty sure I'm a thirsty submissive.
101
00:04:00,015 --> 00:04:04,096
Okay, um, I'm... look,
I'm really flattered, but...
102
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,498
Hey, no need to finish that sentence.
103
00:04:06,522 --> 00:04:07,999
You are right to reject me.
104
00:04:08,023 --> 00:04:10,202
As a straight man,
Melinda said I was a 6,
105
00:04:10,226 --> 00:04:12,370
and as a gay man, I'm barely a 3 1/2.
106
00:04:12,394 --> 00:04:13,839
Thank you and have a nice day.
107
00:04:13,863 --> 00:04:15,006
No, no, no. Wait, wait.
108
00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:16,590
- Doctor.
- Yes?
109
00:04:16,614 --> 00:04:17,576
How does lunch sound?
110
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,543
Great!
111
00:04:18,567 --> 00:04:20,846
Uh, how's Monday?
I know a place in Midtown.
112
00:04:20,870 --> 00:04:23,515
Meet me at Café Figaro in 15 minutes.
113
00:04:23,539 --> 00:04:25,851
Yes, sir.
114
00:04:25,875 --> 00:04:28,553
Is it appropriate for me
to say "I am aroused"?
115
00:04:28,577 --> 00:04:30,355
Save it for dessert.
116
00:04:32,715 --> 00:04:35,360
Hey, Mrs. Walker. What an exciting day.
117
00:04:35,384 --> 00:04:37,290
A shot at the title.
118
00:04:37,314 --> 00:04:39,197
So, do you have prepared remarks,
119
00:04:39,221 --> 00:04:40,705
an inspiring quote,
120
00:04:40,729 --> 00:04:42,467
a rousing call to action?
121
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,202
Prepared what? Inspiring huh?
122
00:04:44,226 --> 00:04:46,186
A rousing call to ca...?
123
00:04:46,962 --> 00:04:48,573
What you say in this moment
124
00:04:48,597 --> 00:04:50,442
could be the difference between victory
125
00:04:50,466 --> 00:04:53,145
and pushing them
from casual opioid abusers
126
00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:54,546
to full-blown addicts.
127
00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:58,049
Guys, Mrs. Walker has something to say.
128
00:04:58,073 --> 00:04:59,651
Honey, I've got nothing prepared.
129
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,286
I barely know where I am right now.
130
00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:02,387
What do I say?
131
00:05:02,411 --> 00:05:03,388
Okay, I got it.
132
00:05:03,412 --> 00:05:04,623
Remember what you said to me
133
00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:06,791
before my very first commercial audition?
134
00:05:06,815 --> 00:05:09,427
You probably won't get it.
Let's go to brunch.
135
00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:10,729
No, you said that to me
136
00:05:10,753 --> 00:05:13,498
before my audition
for "Crazy Rich Asians."
137
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,667
Which I didn't get because...
138
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:17,384
I'm not rich.
139
00:05:18,327 --> 00:05:19,905
It was a DiGiorno ad,
140
00:05:19,929 --> 00:05:22,848
and I didn't think
I could play a straight guy.
141
00:05:23,666 --> 00:05:26,011
That was a good speech. I'll do that one.
142
00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:27,312
Okay, good, and I'll score it
143
00:05:27,336 --> 00:05:29,247
with dramatic music using my phone.
144
00:05:29,271 --> 00:05:31,805
All right. Listen up.
145
00:05:32,942 --> 00:05:34,319
I know you're nervous.
146
00:05:34,343 --> 00:05:35,654
The other guys
147
00:05:35,678 --> 00:05:38,590
have got more talent, more experience,
148
00:05:38,614 --> 00:05:42,093
and let's face it...
more testosterone than you do.
149
00:05:43,686 --> 00:05:47,666
But you have something they don't have.
150
00:05:47,690 --> 00:05:49,935
A lifetime
151
00:05:49,959 --> 00:05:53,253
of people telling you
that you're not good enough.
152
00:05:53,629 --> 00:05:56,775
Today, you're gonna go
out there and show them
153
00:05:56,799 --> 00:06:00,712
that in this country,
being unqualified for something
154
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:02,347
is no match
155
00:06:02,371 --> 00:06:05,450
for a totally unfounded sense
of self-confidence.
156
00:06:05,474 --> 00:06:07,852
Now let me hear you say it.
157
00:06:07,876 --> 00:06:11,957
"It's not delivery. It's DiGiorno."
158
00:06:11,981 --> 00:06:14,993
It's not delivery? It's DiGiorno?
159
00:06:15,017 --> 00:06:17,128
Say it like you mean it.
160
00:06:17,152 --> 00:06:19,731
It's not delivery. It's DiGiorno.
161
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:20,732
Say it!
162
00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:23,501
It's not delivery! It's DiGiorno!
163
00:06:23,525 --> 00:06:26,204
- Damn right it is!
- Let's go!
164
00:06:35,838 --> 00:06:37,682
How did I not get that part?
165
00:06:37,706 --> 00:06:39,050
Oh, honey.
166
00:06:39,074 --> 00:06:40,485
Just hearing that speech
167
00:06:40,509 --> 00:06:42,320
took me back to the old Jack.
168
00:06:42,344 --> 00:06:43,464
Yeah.
169
00:06:43,488 --> 00:06:45,991
When I think about how pathetic I was.
170
00:06:46,015 --> 00:06:48,994
I get one text about an audition,
171
00:06:49,018 --> 00:06:51,663
be convinced it was gonna
change my whole life,
172
00:06:51,687 --> 00:06:53,498
run around the room like a crazy person,
173
00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:55,367
flailing my arms in the air,
174
00:06:55,391 --> 00:06:57,902
and screech into a towel until I'd faint.
175
00:06:59,395 --> 00:07:01,740
Ah, thank God those days
are behind us, huh?
176
00:07:01,764 --> 00:07:02,774
- Yeah.
- I can't even...
177
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,950
Oh, let's see what that is...
178
00:07:06,535 --> 00:07:08,880
Mayor Pete Buttigieg...
I got an audition!
179
00:07:08,904 --> 00:07:10,582
I got an audition!
180
00:07:10,606 --> 00:07:12,617
Oh, my God! I got an audition!
181
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,686
My whole life is about to change!
182
00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:16,454
I'm gonna be rich and famous,
183
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,523
and everybody's gonna love me!
184
00:07:31,503 --> 00:07:33,515
What am I afraid of?
185
00:07:33,539 --> 00:07:35,940
Boy or girl? Win-win!
186
00:07:36,883 --> 00:07:39,693
But having a girl would be amazing.
187
00:07:40,413 --> 00:07:41,695
Oh.
188
00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:44,943
I could sing the song
189
00:07:44,968 --> 00:07:47,735
that my mom used to sing to me.
Remember, Mom?
190
00:07:49,342 --> 00:07:53,277
♪ My hope is that you're pretty in life ♪
191
00:07:53,559 --> 00:07:56,894
♪ You meet a man and become his wife ♪
192
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:01,679
♪ Have his children, six or eight ♪
193
00:08:02,302 --> 00:08:05,636
♪ Eat small meals
to maintain your weight ♪
194
00:08:11,511 --> 00:08:14,060
What a jacked up song!
195
00:08:14,947 --> 00:08:17,926
No wonder my sisters
are so messed up, right?
196
00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:22,044
Look, I don't want you
to obsess over your looks.
197
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,579
Okay?
198
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:27,216
If your eyebrows look
a little Frida Kahlo-ish,
199
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,618
or you put too much lox spread
200
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:31,119
on your second bagel,
201
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:32,421
you go girl!
202
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,497
I won't say a word.
203
00:08:35,721 --> 00:08:37,587
But I won't have to.
204
00:08:37,783 --> 00:08:39,094
Because you'll take one look at my face
205
00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:42,164
and you will see that
I'm totally judging you.
206
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:46,168
And jealous that you
can still metabolize bagels.
207
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,909
That's why
208
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:56,578
I would be the worst mother to a girl.
209
00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,480
Other than my mom.
210
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,441
And Maleficent.
211
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,454
Normally I would order the fettuccine,
212
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,256
but now that I'm gay,
213
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,758
I need to be a bit more
of a body fascist.
214
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:13,595
So, um, a salad and we share an app?
215
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,597
- Is that how it works?
- That's an old stereotype.
216
00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,933
Gay men are not that
militant about what we eat.
217
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,417
We do not need bread.
218
00:09:21,175 --> 00:09:22,337
I don't like that tension.
219
00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:25,882
I imagine I'll loosen up
as I become more gay.
220
00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:30,034
Oh, no, sorry.
I'm talking about that couple.
221
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,714
Oh, right. I saw this on "Pose."
222
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:35,183
We're gonna be bitchy queens.
223
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:37,286
Like, uh, "The '90s called collect
224
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,720
"to talk about his hair
225
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,647
and he accepted the charges."
226
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,825
Good first try, yeah, but, uh,
227
00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:46,861
shorter, funnier,
and more from this century.
228
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,697
So much to process, being newly gay.
229
00:09:50,779 --> 00:09:52,467
Actually, I've known for 26 years,
230
00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:55,070
but Saturday, I tried on
a pair of short-shorts,
231
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,095
and said, "These legs belong
on a man's shoulders."
232
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,419
Well, we all have our origin story.
233
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,071
But you could be a boy, couldn't you,
234
00:10:07,372 --> 00:10:09,372
gender balloon?
235
00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:14,945
My boy.
236
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,693
Little boys are so sweet,
237
00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,528
sensitive, and loving.
238
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,731
You will be kind and gentle,
239
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:25,100
and you won't be afraid to cry.
240
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:26,835
And we will always be close,
241
00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:28,837
because you're not gonna be
one of those boys
242
00:10:28,861 --> 00:10:31,206
who's embarrassed
to hang out with his mom
243
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:32,708
after he hits puberty.
244
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,132
And you'll still snuggle with me.
245
00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:41,383
Oh, my God, if I'm your mother,
you're never gonna get laid!
246
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:44,642
Oh, no!
247
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,558
No, no. I can't... I can't.
248
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,027
I can't... I can't even look at you.
249
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:55,586
I am setting you free.
250
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,756
Good-bye gender balloon.
251
00:11:04,863 --> 00:11:06,496
Gender balloon?
252
00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:11,246
Gender balloon!
253
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:15,050
Come back!
254
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,085
Do we kiss now?
255
00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:18,720
I'm gonna say we're not there yet.
256
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,656
- Okay.
- Oh, look at him.
257
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,624
Eating off her plate, the mooch.
258
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:24,660
You just know he's not paying for lunch.
259
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,763
Oh, are we not done
tearing those people down yet?
260
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,754
Sorry, I know that woman.
It's a long st...
261
00:11:31,174 --> 00:11:33,001
Where'd she go?
262
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,569
Did he make her cry?
263
00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:36,271
That is the last thing
she needs right now.
264
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:38,306
Should I go over there?
Should I say something?
265
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:40,175
- I wouldn't.
- Jenny.
266
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:43,311
Hey. What a surprise.
267
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:45,280
This is... Look at us both here!
268
00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:48,350
What the hell, Will? You're spying on me?
269
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,276
Drama!
270
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,454
Am... am I doing this correctly?
271
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:55,115
Do I snap up? Do I do the Z?
272
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,626
It's just one jazzy snap across the body.
273
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:06,603
Sorry, I just got...
got a little overwhelmed.
274
00:12:06,627 --> 00:12:10,173
The audition is for the revival
of my favorite musical.
275
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,509
They're bringing back
"Diddler on the Poof"?
276
00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:15,145
No. It's for "On the Town."
277
00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:17,981
I'm auditioning for the pivotal dual role
278
00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:21,284
of Sailor Number Five and Fourth Workman.
279
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,086
But, Kar, before you go back out there,
280
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,888
do you mind running it
with me once real quick?
281
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,055
Sure, honey. Go ahead.
282
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,049
Oh, my gosh, okay. Thank you so much.
283
00:12:28,074 --> 00:12:30,693
Um, it's the baritone harmony
from the opening number.
284
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,684
Ooh.
285
00:12:33,079 --> 00:12:34,879
Five, six, seven, eight.
286
00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:38,330
♪ Ooh ♪
287
00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:42,367
♪ Diddy diddy ♪
288
00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:45,729
♪ Zap zap ♪
289
00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:49,986
♪ Ooh ♪
290
00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:53,757
♪ Ah ♪
291
00:12:53,781 --> 00:12:55,380
♪ Ahoy! ♪
292
00:12:58,085 --> 00:12:59,159
Thank you.
293
00:12:59,183 --> 00:13:00,864
And then I'm silent for like 64 bars.
294
00:13:00,888 --> 00:13:03,333
A 3-run homer? Am I dreaming?
295
00:13:03,357 --> 00:13:05,835
I must be dreaming. Someone pinch me.
296
00:13:05,859 --> 00:13:07,771
That hurt so much.
297
00:13:07,795 --> 00:13:10,429
It's really happening!
298
00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:15,512
You better go out there, Kar.
It's a big day.
299
00:13:15,536 --> 00:13:17,514
Ah, big day for both of us.
300
00:13:17,538 --> 00:13:20,817
- Your first Broadway audition.
- It sure is.
301
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,175
Come on. I'll walk you out.
302
00:13:22,199 --> 00:13:23,742
Okay, great.
303
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,724
- You coming?
- Yeah, I'm, uh,
304
00:13:27,748 --> 00:13:29,848
- right behind you.
- Okay.
305
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,214
Honey?
306
00:13:34,238 --> 00:13:36,450
Just don't know if I can do this.
307
00:13:36,474 --> 00:13:39,686
This is your chance to be
a gay actor on Broadway.
308
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:42,122
It's never been done.
309
00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:45,092
You could break the ass ceiling.
310
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,995
Maybe it's time to just face reality.
311
00:13:48,019 --> 00:13:49,730
I'm not a Broadway-caliber actor,
312
00:13:49,754 --> 00:13:51,987
and I never will be.
313
00:13:53,324 --> 00:13:55,202
Now, you listen to me.
314
00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:58,364
Our friendship is the most
successful relationship
315
00:13:58,388 --> 00:14:01,032
of my life. And do you know why?
316
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,734
Because I threw that gun
in the river for you?
317
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,381
Because when I'm down,
318
00:14:07,405 --> 00:14:09,278
you make me believe
319
00:14:09,302 --> 00:14:12,043
that something great
is just around the corner.
320
00:14:13,711 --> 00:14:15,644
You're a dreamer, Jackie.
321
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,383
It's the very best part of you.
322
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:22,821
Come on. I'ma take you to that audition.
323
00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,556
But what about the game?
324
00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:26,080
Oh, honey.
325
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,683
You're way more important to me
than some silly game.
326
00:14:30,184 --> 00:14:31,784
You're my poodle.
327
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:40,038
Kay, now.
328
00:14:40,062 --> 00:14:42,474
Hey, um, you wiped the fingerprints
329
00:14:42,498 --> 00:14:45,666
off that gun first, right?
330
00:14:46,077 --> 00:14:48,035
Oh, it doesn't matter.
They're your prints.
331
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,749
Hello, uh, this is Grace Adler.
332
00:14:50,773 --> 00:14:52,351
I'm a patient of Dr. Saperstein's,
333
00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:55,727
and I'm calling to find out
the gender of my baby.
334
00:14:55,751 --> 00:14:58,679
Yeah, you're gonna wanna
check between the legs.
335
00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:02,812
If it's an outie, it's a boy.
336
00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:04,012
If it's an innie, it's a girl.
337
00:15:04,036 --> 00:15:05,524
And if it's both,
338
00:15:05,548 --> 00:15:07,472
please take a picture and send it to me.
339
00:15:07,496 --> 00:15:08,989
I've always wanted to see one of those.
340
00:15:10,503 --> 00:15:12,148
No, I'm pregnant.
341
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,449
Okay, well then you're a girl.
342
00:15:13,473 --> 00:15:15,151
Does that help?
343
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,682
Nurse? Just look it up.
344
00:15:17,707 --> 00:15:20,319
Okay, let's see. Grace Adler.
345
00:15:20,343 --> 00:15:22,955
Date of birth, 4/7/19.
346
00:15:22,979 --> 00:15:25,290
Wait. That can't be right.
347
00:15:25,314 --> 00:15:27,426
Just tell me the gender, please.
348
00:15:27,450 --> 00:15:28,961
It says the gender information
349
00:15:28,985 --> 00:15:30,629
has been sent to a balloon company.
350
00:15:30,653 --> 00:15:32,398
Oh, yeah, um...
351
00:15:32,422 --> 00:15:34,620
things didn't really work out
with the balloon,
352
00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:36,668
and I threw it off the balcony.
353
00:15:36,692 --> 00:15:40,561
Well, let's hope things
work out with the baby.
354
00:15:41,299 --> 00:15:43,675
Just tell me if I'm having
a boy or a girl.
355
00:15:43,699 --> 00:15:45,310
"Ms. Adler requests
356
00:15:45,334 --> 00:15:47,946
not to disclose information
over the phone."
357
00:15:47,970 --> 00:15:49,731
Yes, yes. I know.
358
00:15:49,755 --> 00:15:51,415
That's because I didn't think
I'd be patient enough
359
00:15:51,439 --> 00:15:53,401
to wait for the balloon, but I was.
360
00:15:53,425 --> 00:15:55,976
But I... I just got scared.
361
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:59,143
You know, that big
question mark on that balloon
362
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,445
just staring you
right in the face, you know?
363
00:16:01,469 --> 00:16:03,281
Yeah, I get it. You're conflicted.
364
00:16:03,305 --> 00:16:06,138
It's like the first time
I hooked up with my step-dad.
365
00:16:07,809 --> 00:16:10,220
The first time?
366
00:16:10,244 --> 00:16:12,389
Yeah, it was my 40th birthday,
367
00:16:12,413 --> 00:16:14,858
and my step-dad said I wasn't allowed
368
00:16:14,882 --> 00:16:16,493
to get my ears pierced.
369
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,629
And I said,
"I don't have to listen to you.
370
00:16:18,653 --> 00:16:20,920
You're not my real dad."
371
00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:26,118
From then on, it escalated
into something really special.
372
00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,229
Uh, thanks for, um,
373
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:34,102
well, uh... I'm not really sure, just...
374
00:16:37,522 --> 00:16:39,299
Okay, I guess this is a sign
375
00:16:39,323 --> 00:16:42,402
that I'm... I'm not supposed to know.
376
00:16:45,916 --> 00:16:48,483
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
377
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,287
Gender balloon, you came back!
378
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:55,179
Don't you make me worry
like that ever again!
379
00:16:56,374 --> 00:16:59,628
This is clearly a sign
that I'm supposed to find out.
380
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,263
Okay.
381
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,698
I'm gonna wait until Will gets home,
382
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,589
and then I'm gonna pop you.
383
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,318
And I don't care.
384
00:17:06,342 --> 00:17:07,886
Boy or girl,
385
00:17:07,910 --> 00:17:10,956
I'm gonna love you no matter what.
386
00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:18,850
Let's just get one thing
really clear here.
387
00:17:18,874 --> 00:17:21,108
You and me? Business arrangement.
388
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,725
I'm really just your oven.
389
00:17:22,749 --> 00:17:25,495
But you're not. That's the problem.
390
00:17:25,519 --> 00:17:26,585
Please.
391
00:17:30,524 --> 00:17:32,602
I don't know how to keep things separate.
392
00:17:32,626 --> 00:17:35,271
You're doing this
extraordinary thing for me.
393
00:17:35,295 --> 00:17:36,606
You're giving me something
394
00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:38,942
the world has told me for my entire life
395
00:17:38,966 --> 00:17:41,044
that I could never have.
396
00:17:41,068 --> 00:17:43,045
I have all this love for you and...
397
00:17:43,637 --> 00:17:45,048
I don't know what to do with it.
398
00:17:45,072 --> 00:17:46,916
I feel close to you too.
399
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,953
And I hate that because these
relationships have an end date.
400
00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:51,621
I've done this before.
401
00:17:51,645 --> 00:17:53,790
I've gotten invested. I've gotten hurt.
402
00:17:53,814 --> 00:17:56,092
You're just gonna move on
once the baby is born.
403
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:58,061
Jenny, that is not who I am.
404
00:17:58,085 --> 00:18:01,920
For me, it'd be weird if you
weren't in my life in some way.
405
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:04,389
For me, too.
406
00:18:04,764 --> 00:18:08,232
Can't we just do this however we want?
407
00:18:09,329 --> 00:18:11,062
We could give it a try.
408
00:18:11,437 --> 00:18:13,037
I'd like that.
409
00:18:16,270 --> 00:18:18,281
Will, uh, I'm sorry,
410
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,817
but I think there's a spark with Chase.
411
00:18:20,841 --> 00:18:24,009
He just asked me
to co-sign a loan for him.
412
00:18:25,512 --> 00:18:28,549
But thank you for taking my gay cherry.
413
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,982
Terrific. Tell your friends.
414
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,100
So I kissed the balloon,
415
00:18:37,124 --> 00:18:40,525
and you know how I haven't
waxed my upper lip in a while?
416
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:42,672
Well, it popped,
417
00:18:42,696 --> 00:18:45,008
and the glitter powder got all over me,
418
00:18:45,032 --> 00:18:46,309
but I wanted to surprise you.
419
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,845
I am having...
420
00:18:48,869 --> 00:18:50,635
I got the part!
421
00:18:53,874 --> 00:18:56,252
You are looking at the third understudy
422
00:18:56,276 --> 00:18:59,122
for Sailor Number Five/Fourth Workman
423
00:18:59,146 --> 00:19:00,915
on Broadway.
424
00:19:01,832 --> 00:19:03,760
Jack, that is amazing!
425
00:19:03,784 --> 00:19:06,796
It just goes to show you
if you kind of try
426
00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:10,033
for 38 years, good things happen.
427
00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:11,534
Congratulations!
428
00:19:11,558 --> 00:19:13,469
I have big news too.
429
00:19:13,493 --> 00:19:14,704
I am having...
430
00:19:14,728 --> 00:19:15,746
We did it!
431
00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:17,440
Bottom of the tenth, bases loaded,
432
00:19:17,464 --> 00:19:19,976
Rodriguez with a grand salami.
433
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,011
Who in this castle of queers
434
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,855
looks like they understand
what that means?
435
00:19:26,974 --> 00:19:28,708
Well, did we win or lose?
436
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:29,802
We won.
437
00:19:29,826 --> 00:19:32,021
We beat the Adirondack Mosquitoes.
438
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,823
Good Lord, it's over.
439
00:19:33,847 --> 00:19:36,915
I am finally done with baseball!
440
00:19:37,884 --> 00:19:40,530
Well, until the new season starts.
441
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,166
Then there's recruiting, spring training,
442
00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:44,334
signing free agents...
443
00:19:44,358 --> 00:19:45,668
Can I say my thing now?
444
00:19:45,692 --> 00:19:47,962
I'm getting sweaty,
and I'm out of muffins.
445
00:19:48,528 --> 00:19:50,540
Sorry, ghost.
446
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,508
It's just so exciting.
447
00:19:52,532 --> 00:19:54,077
Baseball never ends.
448
00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:55,578
Well, it does for me.
449
00:19:55,602 --> 00:19:58,848
I was just doing this
to stick it to my ex.
450
00:19:58,872 --> 00:20:00,102
But, uh,
451
00:20:00,126 --> 00:20:03,419
you seem like you really care
about this team
452
00:20:03,443 --> 00:20:06,578
and have nothing else to live for.
453
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,994
Do you want the Millstones?
454
00:20:11,018 --> 00:20:12,729
Oh, my God, yes.
455
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,197
Mrs. Walker,
456
00:20:14,221 --> 00:20:17,500
you are the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
457
00:20:17,524 --> 00:20:20,269
What are you talking about?
She ruined your bakery.
458
00:20:20,293 --> 00:20:21,604
She took away your first name.
459
00:20:21,628 --> 00:20:22,939
She forced you to spend
a night in the woods
460
00:20:22,963 --> 00:20:24,007
with a baby bear.
461
00:20:24,031 --> 00:20:25,074
And now she's making
462
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,098
all of my dreams come true.
463
00:20:28,235 --> 00:20:30,671
- Thanks, Mrs. Walker.
- Come on.
464
00:20:31,204 --> 00:20:33,257
- You can call me Karen.
- Oh.
465
00:20:33,907 --> 00:20:35,940
Nope, Mrs. Walker.
466
00:20:37,544 --> 00:20:41,124
Good luck, Amy, and, uh, don't forget
467
00:20:41,148 --> 00:20:43,114
you signed an NDA.
468
00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:49,023
Can I say my news now?
469
00:20:50,057 --> 00:20:51,656
Will.
470
00:20:58,265 --> 00:21:00,632
How dare you?
471
00:21:01,935 --> 00:21:03,646
If you got a part in Blue Man Group
472
00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:05,371
and are stealing my Broadway moment,
473
00:21:05,395 --> 00:21:07,395
I will never forget you.
474
00:21:08,783 --> 00:21:10,783
I'm having a boy.
475
00:21:11,502 --> 00:21:13,502
And?
476
00:21:13,950 --> 00:21:15,950
I am so happy.
33350
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
