All language subtitles for Judy.And.Punch.2019.1080p.WEB-DL.H264.AC3-EVO.EN

His fist shall thunder down upon those
who have strayed from the path.

Those of you who kneel
at the foot of the Devil.

Hey, little fella, you look almost man
enough to come in for a nurture.

Fuckin' hell!

No guinea too big. No...
Thank you kindly, sir.

No penny too small.

Come, now. Thank you, sir.

Come, now, don't be cheap.

Come, now, coin in the tin.

Come, now.

Thank you kindly, sir.

Thank you, sir.

No penny too small.

Here, darling.
-Thank you, sir.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the show is about to begin.

Sit down!
The show is about to begin.

Come now, come now,
you cheap little asses.

Coin in the tin
afore payin' time passes.

Don't slag us off,
don't turn your head.

For friends we are, not foe!

But if you dirty little fuckers
don't cough up your bread,

we won't be showing you a show!

You've heard the talk from far and wide
of Punch's puppet play.

"Best in the world", "The greatest show",
is what the critics say.

The congregations of St Paul's
grow thinner every day.

They're coming to the show of shows,
not kneeling down to pray.

Professor Punch is back at last!

Town's most truthful preacher.

So sit your arse down,
don't fuck around,

and enjoy the theatre feature!

We love you, Punch!

Knock 'em out! Knock 'em out!

OK, move across, move across.

That's the way to do it!

JUDY & PUNCH

***subtitles by BlackRaven***

Ladies and gentlemen,
the one, the only,

the greatest puppeteer of our time

Professor Punch!

You all best be spreading the word
that the Punch show is back.

One show a week,
catch it while you can.

Tell friends, foes
and neighbours alike.

Thank you, thank you so much.

Surely you spilled some?
-I'm afraid not, honey.

A more niggardly town than
Seaside'd be hard to find.

But what was lacking from their pockets
they made up for in applause.

You think it went well, then?
You think they liked us?

Liked us? They loved us!
We killed it, honey. We did.

Yes! We smashed it to
bits and pieces, didn't we?

We slaughtered them!

A main stage awaits us, my love.

I can hear the applause already, Jude.

I close my eyes for a moment
and I can hear it.

The greatest puppeteer
of his generation.

So? Scouts?
Any scouts?

I saw none. We'll just make sure
each show is a smasher.

They'll be in soon enough.
-Yes, yes. Soon enough.

Now is our time, Jude.
The big theatres are opening again.

Our show is the best. It won't be long
before we're whisked away

to brighter things
with fanfare unimaginable.

I promise you that.

I was just wondering, honey, the show
seems to be getting punchier all the time.

Very punchy, in fact. Do you think
it needs to be quite so smashy?

Well, that's what the people like.

They like punchy,
and they like smashy.

You've heard them, Jude.
That's what they want, my love.

I'm an artist. It is not for me
to question my gift,

I can only surrender to it.

If my gut tells me to be
punchy and smashy,

I guess we're doing the
punchy and smashy.

Come here and give Punch
some love.

What?

Oh, come on.

There's another promise
I'd sooner have you keep.

My sweet and talented wife!

So blessed I am to have ya.

Sweet and talented indeed.

There you go! Look at you.
Look at you. One more time.

One more time. Let's go higher.

Happy stoning day.

You've gone and turned
her stomach upside down.

That thing does nothing but bellow.
-It's you who does nothing but bellow,

and as a grown man,
it's harder to fathom.

And before I knew it,
I was falling... right down,

past the clouds,
past the branches.

I thought for certain I was
about to meet my end.

But as the ground came up to meet me,
it wasn't the hard clay,

but a giant pillow of autumn leaves
that broke my fall.

I sank into it.

And when I awoke, I was near
suffocated in my own pillow.

Maid! -Sounds like the devil's
awake and wants his sausages.

Now, you stay put like I told you,

and when I'm done with the day,
we can stroll.

Am I fit for a visitor
should one arrive unannounced?

More handsome now than
the day I met you.

Maid!

Maid!
-Morning, Master Punch.

Won't be too long,
just got to get this pan sizzling.

Sausages?

Would I risk a hiding
serving you anything but?

Any more sausages and
you'll likely turn into one.

Morning, Judy.
How was the show, then?

It went well. The crowd was...
-Slaughtered them!

Smashed it to bits and pieces!

We'll be done with these
worn-out loitersacks in no time.

The big smoke awaits us.
-I quite got used to you being back.

Well, get unused to it.

I have to change the baby before we go.
Make sure you get a better one.

I never liked that one anyhow.

Your jokes are getting hoary, honey.
You might want to dream up some new.

Happy stoning day.

Rock, madam? Rock, sir?

First in, best rock.
-I'll catch up.

No need to rush. But it helps.

Happy stoning day.

Mr Punch!

Oh, Mr Frankly!

Oh, so very glad you made it,
Punch.

We were hoping perhaps you'll do us
the honour of casting the first stone?

Oh, why, thank you. I hear
you've netted some good ones.

Oh, yes, we've been
saving them up for today.

That Goodbuckle woman,
I always had a feeling about that one.

I'll be happy to cast the first.

Excellent. Glad to hear, Punch.
Glad to hear it!

It seems some folk are getting
squeamish around here.

"Stop stoning women!",
all that nonsense.

The good old values
are slipping.

'Tis left to men of strong
will such as you and...

...I to bring these acts of heresy
to an end. Do you agree? -I do.

Very good. Well, I'll see you after at
McDrinky's for a celebratory ale.

Actually... I've promised the
old missus to lay low-ish on the booze

on account of my hot liver.

Oh, hello.
Right you are. Well...

Happy stoning day!

We seek out the vile and the unholy

and the wanton
and we will destroy the evil demons

and lovers of Satan.

And when they...

Thank you.

Good people of Seaside,

today I present to you

three fresh, filthy examples

of the wave of evil that is
sweeping across our fine land.

All have confessed to their crimes
and shall die on account of them.

Yeah!

Harriet Slibber,
whose chickens all died

on the same night due to
obvious sorcery. -Shame!

Glenda Putts, who tried to conceal
a rashupon her back

which was patently
some kind of Devil marking.

Devil's whore!

And Esther Goodbuckle,

whose husband,
Rodney Goodbuckle,

found her staring at the moon

for a suspiciously
very long time.

It's terrible!

Yes, it is, Rodney!

It's terrible!

And though we have
three whole witches

standing before you today,
we must remain vigilant.

We must continue to hunt them down until
we have expunged each and every one!

Those that lurk among us

and those that have fled to haunt us
from the black forest yonder.

Anyway... to the stoning!

Good dying!

Good dying!

Mr Punch.

Good one.

Happy stoning day!

That's a mighty strong
stone-hurling arm you've got.

Thank you for noticing, Poll.

Such a robust appendage
must prove very useful.

Very useful indeed.

I take it you're well?

I'm very well,
thank you for asking.

And, Pancake, Flea,
I trust you're both well?

Fine show last night.
We three enjoyed it aplenty.

So few cultured men
like yourself in Seaside.

I'm glad you liked it.
And it's a very lucky town

for having one as pretty
as you residing in it.

Haven't seen you around
McDrinky's in a while.

We were just on our way.
Why don't you join us for a nip or two?

I would love to, Poll, but I'm trying
to keep on the straight and sober

while the show's on the up.
Hoping to get scouted by the bigwigs.

McDrinky's, with all its offerings,

as you know,
is my major weak spot.

Well, you know where to find us,
should you change your mind.

Come on!

Now, watch very closely.

This bag is empty, yes?

Yes.
-Coin in the bag.

Here.

That's good.

Please.

Gently.

Ready?

Alright, run along now.
That's enough.

Show's over.

Oh, good day, Judy.
-Constable.

Wonderful show last night.
Wonderful.

You really have your way
with the puppets.

A way! You really have a way
with the puppets.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
-Just one word, Judy.

You might wish to keep those
magic tricks a little on the lowdown.

So convincing they are
they'll be taken for sorcery

and the last thing
I would like to see is a woman

such as yourself
before the stoners.

Of course my personal opinion
is that you're wonderful.

It's wonderful. The tricks,
I mean, the magic is wonderful.

But it seems some folk in Seaside
are prone to superstition.

More and more by the day,
it would appear.

Well, thank you
for the warning, Derrick.

I should continue my patrol.
All the breast.

All the... very breast.

Have you seen Punch?

Thank you.

One more, one more.

That's the way! That's the way!

You'll grow strong and able with a
sturdy constitution just like your papa.

But all the best bits you'll
inherit from your mama.

Those will be the bits
that count the most.

The very bits that made your
papa love her at the start.

This way.

Watch your step.

How's the world looking outside that
there window this morning, my love?

It seems the weather has turned
and storm clouds are gathering.

Where's that thumb-twiddling
maid of ours?

She should mind
I don't give her a whacking.

Maid! Maid!
-That's enough!

I'll not go down this road
again, Punch.

If your true want
is to resurrect our show,

you have to stay
on the straight and sober.

Can you do that?

Punch?

Can you do that?

It's one small slip, my love.

I got excited.

From now on,
only good decisions.

That's a Punch promise.

You've made your share
of promises already.

Promises aren't the hard part.

It's the keeping of them
you seem to find so difficult!

Well...

I will try to keep...
the promises...

I've already promised.

That's a Punch oath.

That's even...
even better than a promise.

'Cause, you know, it's an oath.

It's even better.

Want some?

Yeah? You want, yeah?

Now, go on, have a little. No.

I'm to go clean the theatre.

Maude is off to the market.

We'll be no more than an hour.

There are more sausages for your lunch.

You'll have to skin those rabbits,
I can't stomach it.

And help Scaramouche stack that wood,
like you promised me. Yes?

And, Punch no boozing with the baby.

You better stack the wood
and don't lose the baby, and blah, blah.

What good is a servant
if he's too old to serve?

Hey.

Hey, what's the matter?

Whee!

Whee!

Look at that! Whee!

There you go.

Look! Look at the little doggy.

What's the matter, Toby?
Doesn't the old man feed you proper?

Is that the story?

Where is old Scaramouche?

Whistling away in the servants' quarters,
no use to anybody?

Hey! Get back here!

Stay there.

Your damn rat dog
ate my breakfast!

Took it clean off my plate!

He can be a snappy little pup,
that one. But no harm done.

He really is a good little boy, is Toby.

Can I offer you a drink,
Master Punch?

And they named the town Seaside
because they believed that one day

the sea would lap
right at our doorsteps.

Right at the bottom of the hill there.

What gave them that idea,
I don't know,

seeing as how the sea is a good
three-day mule ride from here.

Oh, and they all built fishing
boats in anticipation too.

You're not making any sense at all,
old man.

I'm telling you, I can't understand
a single word you're saying.

I don't know where
all those old fishing boats went.

Anyway, how is that little baby
of yours this morning, Master Punch?

What?
-Your baby.

How is the baby?

You can't be crawling into every blazing
stove you see, you hear me?

One of these days you're going
to find yourself all burnt to a crisp.

Hey!

Hey!

Punch!

It's too hot a day to have the
house all locked up like this.

What hell has broken loose here?

Where is the baby?

You can't keep up
with this behaviour, Punch.

I can't trust you alone with her
for even an hour.

Where is she, Punch?

You can't just put her down
and leave her, she's too small!

Not two minutes in the door,

and straight to poor Punch
with your nagging.

Punch! Where have you put her?

Where is she?
Please, Punch.

Punch, try to remember
what you've done with her.

She's lost her shoe, Punch.

We have to find her.
Her little foot will be cold.

That baby just couldn't
keep itself put.

I'd sit her down in one place
and turn for a moment

and she'd have wound up in another.

And you told me no boozing
but the dog stole my breakfast

and then Scaramouche
made me have a tipple.

He's like an evil wizard,
that old man I never trusted him.

And anyway

I accidentally dropped
the baby out the window.

But what's done is done and I suppose
we just move on with our lives.

What do you mean you dropped her
out the window?

It's time we moved on
with our lives.

What do you mean you dropped
the baby out the window?

What do you mean you dropped
the baby out the window?!

Pull yourself together!
-What do you mean?!

No!

No!

No!

That's the way to do it!

Judy?

Judy!

My love?

You can go ahead and get up now.

That's the way to do it.

Is it morning time already?

Are we to stack the wood?

Hello, Toby.

That's no welcome reception
for your old friend Punch now, is it?

How about you come down here
and keep me company?

Ye did it again! Onie chance ye gie ye,
take a swatch at mah cards.

Yer a cheat ben an' ben.
-Gonnae-no accusin' me!

I wasn't lookin' at yer glaikit cards,

Was checkin' on mah cuddie which happens
tae be tethered ower yer shoolder.

Ha! That's the most glaikit
excuse I've ever heard!

Don't loch yer accusatory tone.

Think it's shan.
Ah''ve ne'er cheated in mah life!

If ye tois ur gonnae keep fightin',
-Don't want tae play anymair!

Where's the new constable?

Dunnae ken. Most likely
daein' his make-up, imagine.

What?

Aye, or gaitherin' wildflowers
tae decorate th' watch hoose!

I need to speak with him immediately
to report the missing

of my dear wife and baby.

The watch hoose.

Mr Punch? -I'm sorry
to disturb you, Constable,

but I've come to report a crime.
-Right. Excellent.

Er, it's just it's been
a quiet few days.

Still trying to convince
the town to trust me

with their grievances rather than
take the law into their own hands.

I'm looking forward to having something
to sink my teeth into... so to speak.

How can I help, sir?

My dear wife and tiny baby are missing.
It's hardly cause for celebration.

Missing? Judy and the baby?
-Vanished into thin air!

Some act of foul play
has befallen them, I'm sure.

Get your coat, Derrick.
Get your coat.

I'm sure there's some
reasonable explanation.

Lead the way, Mr Punch.
Hat, Derrick!

Hat.

It does indeed appear as though some
struggle has taken place.

My poor sweet wife and child.

However,
I can find no evidence of foul play.

Wee swatch tae the fleer, sir.

What?
-O'er there.

Blood on the fleer.

How did you miss that?
Idiot, Derrick.

I'm afraid this doesn't
bode well, Mr Punch.

I don't understand it.

I was gone for just a moment.

The only one with access
to the house is the old maid.

She's strange,
there's no denying it childless recluse,

but whether she's capable of murder...

Maude!
The unexpected visitors have arrived!

Good day, gentlemen. Is there something
I can be assisting you with?

Easy, men. Perhaps some tea?

When was the last time
you saw Judy, madam?

Not since yesterday, sir.

I went to the markets,
Judy went to the theatre.

And after that, what did you do?

I was here at home, sir.

And your husband
he was at home with you?

Yes, sir.

Constable!

A wee bairn's bootie!

Dear God.
-What?

She's roasted the baby in the stove.

Heretic! Check her for
the mark of the Devil!

Let us not jump to conclusions,
Mr Punch.

Could you tell me what this is, ma'am?

That's the baby's shoe, sir.

And how do you suppose
it got inside your stove?

Is there anyone who can verify
your whereabouts late yesterday

between the hours of 2 and 6 in the pm?

My husband can, sir.

Where were you yesterday
between the hours of 2 and 6 in the pm?

I...

I got dressed, and...

and had my breakfast.

Please, sir, forgive my husband
his hazy recollections.

His mind and memory
are not what they were.

When was the last time you saw
the lady of the house?

I can't rightly remember, sir.

No, I can't rightly remember.

Oh, but she's a fine lady, that lady.

Oh, yes, she is so sweet.

And so pretty, yes.

Her name... Her name...

I just can't recall her name.

But I remember Mr Punch,
though, because I...

Clearly his want is to confuse you,
Constable.

He's most certainly
involved in the disappearance.

They both got the Devil's look
about them, clear as day.

For God's sake, look at them!

Unless someone can provide me
with fresh evidence to the contrary,

I'm left with little choice
but to place you under deep suspicion

and take you in
for further questioning.

No! Please! My husband's a good,
kindly man.

He loves Judy and that child.
-Move yer arse!

Please! Take me
but leave my husband.

See! That's all but a confession
from the witch.

Hang them both!
-We are taking them for questioning.

Questioning!

They've roasted my baby!

Looks dead.
-Yep. Dead.

Wait! Look at that.

What?
-Fingers just did some moving.

It's the same like with a turkey, Scotty.

You cut the head off and
it still writhes and twitches

to make you think it's living
when it's clearly dead.

Incoming!

We got a dead one!

It's a girl. Jesus...

Her face. Found her
'tween here and town somewhere.

Thought Goodtime could take a look.

Scotty says she's a puppeteer.
-Tank!

How would Scotty be knowing
she's a puppeteer

unless Scotty herself has been sneaking
into them puppet shows in town?

Did you forget about
them stonings?

Did you?

Well, you want to be next?

Or worse, you want
this whole camp discovered

when one of them follows you
back here?

You've gotta be smart.

What did I always tell you is the
most important thing of all the things?

Smarts.

She's had herself a good beating,
the poor thing.

Looks proper dead.

Can we keep her and take her
to Dr Goodtime for a looking-over?

You and I both know what
Goodtime's gonna say about it.

Clearly the lady ain't dead.

You lunatics!

That's good news.
-Depends on how you look on it.

I can't promise she'll stay
that way for long.

From over here,
her injuries look death-dealing.

Once I get over there, I'll be able
to give her a better looking-over.

Sorry, Dr Goodtime,
but when do you think

you might come over here
to take a closer look?

Don't rush me, small 'un!
I move at my own pace, no quicker.

I don't mean to rush you but
she could expire any minute.

I don't know what you're thinking
bringing her back here to begin with.

We're about to be on the move.

We can only take what's useful.

We don't got no space
for nothing more.

But this one's a good one.

She's got skills in the theatre.

Skills in the theatre ain't no use to us.

This witch fever gains any more
momentum,

and we'll have outcasts enough
to build a city.

What a city that would be!

What?
-Nothing.

Poor Mrs Punchy-face.

Make way for the murderers,

the killers of babies and wives!
Make way!

What have they done?
-They ate my baby!

They bashed my wife to death,
and they roasted and ate my child!

Hold your babies close tonight,
lest they be eaten by witches like these!

Get out of here!
-You're disgusting!

Must have done something
heinous, these ones, eh?

Good folk,

I urge you to be calm
and reserve your judgement.

It does appear a violent crime
may have taken place.

But at this stage...
-Murder!

My wife and child dead at
the hands of these heathens!

At this stage,
they are but suspects.

And I will continue to investigate.

Will there be an 'anging?
We are due an 'anging!

We are due an 'anging.

First, a thorough investigation
must be conducted, and then...

Evidence has been found that the old man
cooked my baby in the kitchen oven

for the old woman to eat!

What?!

Justice should be swift and merciless!

They are cold-blooded killers.

They should be hanged by the neck as
quickly as hanging ropes can be strung!

Send them down the trapdoor!

Put them in the halter!
-Break their necks!

I can assure you that crime
in this town will not be tolerated,

and the full fist of the law
shall come down

on any who feel they are above it.

However, we should be guided
by reason and justice.

We want a hanging!

Yeah!

Send them back to the Devil
where they belong!

Constable!
-Get them inside!

Get back! Oi, you!

Constable, please!

I think it wise you give
the people what

they're demanding
or risk this mob running riot.

Justice and punishment should be
determined by the law,

Mr Frankly, not hearsay
and an angry mob.

And I appreciate your forward thinking,
Constable,

but this is neither the time
nor the town to conduct

these outlandish
social experiments.

Do what you must
to obtain a confession.

Aye.

I can try her
on the stronger stuff,

but if she comes good,
she'd better be making herself useful.

Can't guarantee it'll work.
Never does.

It's more effective than I thought.

Where am I?

Heretics' camp.

Are you to kill me?
-Kill you?

If it hadn't been for these small 'uns,
you'd be dead already.

Do you remember what happened to you?

Do you know how you come
to be all mashed up, half-dead

and buried in a hole
in the middle of the forest?

Them theatre people,
they eat different stuff.

How come if she's so fancy
she's not more famous?

What's she doing in old dingy Seaside?

I'll tell you what she's doing
in Seaside.

Her ma and her pa owned that manor
she lives in on the edge of the forest.

They bred like fucking rabbits.
There was a whole big bunch of them.

And the whole load of them
was wiped out by a plague

when Judy was just a little 'un.

Left behind just her and the two servants,
who had to raise her up.

And then one day,
Punch passed through town

with his magic show
or whatever it was he was doing.

Charmed the pants off everyone,
especially her.

So she ran away with him,
learned puppets,

and they travelled all over
and they got sure and famous.

They even had a show
in the big smoke and everything.

But it all went bottoms up
when that arse-worm husband

couldn't control his boozing...

...or his temper.

And they got booted out
of near every town.

Flat broke
when he knocked her up.

So they had to slink back here,

tails 'tween legs.

He thinks
he's too good for Seaside.

I'd say he pretty much
fits right in.

Morning, Judy.

Are you alright?

Morning, puppet lady.

This lady's got a real problem
staying awake.

I thought your puppet show
was pure dead brilliant,

the way you made them puppets
come to life, like,

and that double somersault,
and all them explosions at the end.

I didn't quite like one bit,
though.

Does that little punchy guy
always win?

Given he done so many
beastly things!

He won't be winning anymore.

What?

He won't be winning anymore
because I'm going to kill him.

This place is good, but.

Ain't no-one gonna stone us
to death!

I'm gonna steal me
a full-sized horse soon,

and then have everything I need
for the rest of my damn life.

Once you get cast out,
you can't go back, you know.

Hurry up!

Brought you some supplies.

Over there.

Sausages,

Sausages.

Sausages.

Ah, a carrot.

And the stuff of greatest import.

Lots of folk at McDrinky's
send their regards.

There's a couple of gentlemen
in town from the big smoke.

They was asking 'bout when
the next show was scheduled.

Did they give names?
What did they look like?

Them's a lot of questions.
Which one do you want me to answer?

Answer them all, woman!

I'm sorry, Poll.

But they could be scouts.

Now, please,
think very clearly

and tell me exactly
what they looked like.

Well...

...one was kind of medium in height,
not too fair, not too dark.

The other was pretty much
the same as the first.

And they both wore real nice clothing,
both looked to be very serious-like,

and they both had pencils.

Pencils? Only scouts have pencils.

Scouts for sure!

Oh, God.
-What's the matter?

They're here to see my show and now that
Judy has been so brutally taken from me,

I don't rightly have a show
to show them. Damn it!

This was my ticket out.

Maybe I could help.

I've not got any experience with puppets,
but I'd sure be grateful

for the opportunity to learn
the ins and outs of theatre.

I can sing and dance a little.

And I've always been mad keen
to learn the trombone.

Alright, alright.
Time is of the essence.

We gotta get you mastering
them marionette strings.

We can discuss trombones
at a later date.

Best you get that revengey look
off your face.

It doesn't suit you.

I think you know that.

Ain't going to do no good you
charging back there, killing him.

I have to go back. I can't let him
get away with it. It isn't right.

Since when does what's right make
any difference?

What do you think
we're all doing out here?

You think we're out here because what's
right is important to anyone in that town?

Every one of us is wanted for
some made-up reason or other.

Most done nothing to warrant it.

We gotta let it go, let it all go,
let all of it go, all of it.

Everything we had
before we were cast out.

Just keep moving forward

and hope the rest of the world
catches up.

What do you think's gonna happen,

you go traipsing back into town
ranting and raving?

They already think you're dead,
and now suddenly you're not.

That's gonna make you a witch or some
kind of devil in their eyes for sure.

Doesn't matter what you say,
don't matter what actually happened.

You'll wind up dead.

All of us heretics
are moving soon.

So you've got a choice to make.

You can stick with us,
forget Seaside,or leave now.

If I don't go back, he wins.

I have to run away.
I have to leave my home.

He wins.

I just said a whole lot of
important stuff just then.

Were you even listening?
Forget about him.

Forget about all of them.

You can't fix that town.

Use your smarts.

Assuming you even got any.

You can't hunch her over
like you would the maid.

This one's built proud and upright.
You have to keep a straight spine

with her or you won't get
the right movements through her arms.

Relax the arms and get
her straight through the spine!

She'll tangle again
if you pull up so quickly.

This puppet is broken, Punch!

I'm telling you,
it won't do a thing right!

Hey!

You can't be dropping the puppets.
They're mighty delicate.

If you break this one's face,
I'll be tempted to break yours!

You're of simple mind.
You're a simple-minded dimwit!

You've got to listen
when I tell you things.

Unless you get this show right,
you'll be stuck in Seaside

whoring yourself out to
stinking Welshmen for eternity.

I might not be as smart as you, Punch,
but it don't take a big brain

to know it was Judy who held
this show together anyways.

I'm sorry.

Pull yourself together, woman.

I've had an idea.

Constable Fairbrother,
you've just missed the announcement.

Announcement?

You'll be relieved to hear
that a full confession

has been elicited
from both prisoners

and an announcement made that
they shall hang before the month is out.

I would have thought
I should be asked to attend,

given my position as constable.
-Oh, never mind that.

No doubt you had more important matters
to concern yourself with.

The ruffians are more than experienced
in the taking of confessions.

And an announcement already...

It all seems rather hasty to me, Mr Frankly.
-No need to worry, Constable.

The townsfolk are relieved
to have them off the streets.

Er, perhaps there's some redecorating you
could do in the watch house.

Constable.

*And who by fire

*Who by water

*Who in the sunshine

*Who in the night-time

*Who by high ordeal

*Who by common trial

*Who in your merry,
merry month of May

*Who by very slow decay

*And who

*Shall I say

*Is calling

*And who in her lonely slip

*Who by barbiturate

*Who in these realms of love

*Who by something blunt

*Who by avalanche

*Who by powder

*Who for his greed

*Who for his hunger

*And who

*Shall I say

*Is calling

*And who by brave assent

*Who by accident

*Who in solitude

*Who in this mirror

*Who by his lady's command

*Who by his own hand

*Who in mortal chains

*Who in power

*And who

*Shall I say

*Is calling?*

Legs and feet in the left box.

Hands and arms in the right.

Jumble the extremities -
I'll cut off your head.

Come on, now.

It's a hand!

Judy!

Drink?

To celebrate new beginnings.

Hurry up!

Hurry up!

Oh, good evening,
Law Enforcement.

A fine night, isn't it?

So still and pleasant.

A drink on the eve of your hanging,
as is customary?

Oh, that's nice, that is.
Thank you.

I don't rightly mind a nip
before bedtime.

It puts one's troubles at ease.

Thank you,
thank you very much.

For you, Maude?

Sleep evading you, is it,
Law Enforcement?

It's not a trouble I've had before.

If one thing ever came easy to
me, it was a good slumber.

But the simple pleasure is
totally eluding me now.

Oh. Well, sit, sit.

I've had patches of restlessness
like that myself, young man.

Oh, yes. When you've lived as long as
I have, you've come to realise the cause.

When things tilt off
in a way they shouldn't,

when the world gets crooked,

and it has no choice
but to right itself...

Yes, that's when it's hard to slumber.

I feel it too.

Someone is close
to rousing the Devil.

The greatest puppeteer
of his generation,

the greatest puppeteer
of his generation.

Pass that bottle, Poll.
Punch is a touch nervy tonight.

Are you sure that's a bright idea,
Punch, darling?

Well, you're full of opinions
suddenly, aren't you?

I just don't know that I got a good feeling
about this plan of yours.

If I were you,
I'd be expending my energy

making sure you don't turn
the night into a fiasco!

If you had any talent,

maybe I wouldn't have to be
having this idea.

But talent scouts
are in the talent business!

They're looking for one thing...
Talent!

And you, my dear,

got none!

I...

Roll up, roll up,
dearest audience!

Sit your arses on a seat
instead of sitting on the fence!

Put your money in the tin if you want to
see the puppets. The show will begin...

They let you out of
the whorehouse, then?

...momentarily.

Take off your corset
and I'll give you a penny!

You quit your job
at the cathouse, Poll?

Or is this just a sideline?

All...

All the way from the big smoke
Mr Punch has come

with brand-new puppets
that Mr Punch has brung.

More lifelike are these puppets
than any you've yet seen.

You'll wonder how it's possible
to make...

Your regulars will miss ya
if you run away with the circus, Poll!

And now for the puppet
extravaganza!

Ladies and gentlemen,
the one, the only,

the greatest puppeteer of his time...

"Professor Punch!"

Here within we now begin
the history of Punch.

So dark it is and full of woe,

you may just lose your lunch.

There's people claim
their show's the best,

their puppets great and tall...

But Punch's lifelike puppet show

is the punchiest of them all!

The scouts are in.
-I saw them.

Just hang on to them handles,
that's all you gotta do.

OK, bring her in.

"RIGOLETTO"
ACT II

subtitles by... BlackRaven

Are they...

OK, you.

Get moving.

Get over there and whack her.

Judy!

What?

Money back!

Get your one moving.
Mine one's stuck.

Flea, darling...

Darling.

Get over there, do something.

OK, now whack her.

Not that hard.

Hey! Stop that! Hey!

Fuck! They're fighting for real!

Hey, stop it!
Stop it, you two!

I'll stop them.

Stop it! Stop fighting now!

Stop it!

Come on over here, pretty Polly,

and show us your real talents!

Someone's angry!

Are you alright?

Yes, fine.

I'm fine.

Why do you ask?

Because you're weeping.
-No, no, no.

You've mistaken my laughter
for tears is all.

If you laugh,
others will laugh with you.

If you stop laughing, you die.

See you at the hanging.

There's to be a hanging?

Has your head been buried underground
these past few weeks?

They're hanging
the two old servants,

Maude and Scaramouche,
what killed Punch's wife and wee baby.

And when are they set to hang?

First up tomorrow, of course.

I prefer a good witch burning
myself.

I suppose they've got
to mix it up a bit...

...save us all from getting bored.

Hey.

Hey.

Where did you come from?

Who's there?

Hello, Punch...

Just the wind, Punch.
It's just the wind.

Where are you?

I'm right here.
Over here.

I'm your friend. Over here.

Don't be scared.
I have a proposition for you.

Leave me!
I've no business with ya.

Why don't you torment
someone else?

Boo!

Punch...

Who are you?

The Devil knows what you've done, Punch!

And the Devil is much enamoured
of your work.

I don't know what you've heard,
but it isn't true.

So impressed is he that the
Devil wants you on his team.

He wants you to join with him
in the down below.

What do you say, Punch?
Want to team up with the Devil?

I'm just a puppeteer, sir.

I'm just a puppeteer.

You'd have no use of me
in the down below.

You have blood in your house!

You have blood in your house!
-Stop it!

What do I have to do? Tell me what to do!
You have blood in your house!

Please, just stop!
-You have blood in your house.

Do you want to go to Heaven
or do you want to go to Hell?

Heaven?

Only good men go to Heaven.

Are you a good man, Punch?
I can't hear you!

Are you a good man?!
-Yes.

Louder!
-Yes.

Yes, I'm a good man.

Then you must right your wrongs.

Confess to the people, Punch.

Tell the people
what you've done.

Only you can fix this mess you've made.
Can you do that, Punch?

Can you right your wrongs?
-I can.

Because if you do not,
I will come back for you

and I will not show you the
mercy I've shown you tonight.

*Your lust for me won't hide

*This dusty smith
will be your love

*So lay aside your pride"

*So lady she turned
into a horse

*Dark as the night is black

*So he became a hairy saddle
for to ride onto her back

*Singing
Bide, lady, bide...*

*I was riding over
from far as what I've seen

*Feel me riding home again

*Home on a valiant steed

*I was wandering by

*Far in an open field

*I...

*Waking all alone again

*Riding in my sleep

*Waiting for the time,
my friend

*Gaily circling

*Feel me riding home again

*Far in an open field

*See me riding home again

*Far as what I feel

Scotty!

Should get some sleep.

We got the big move tomorrow.

Ma...
-Yeah?

Where are we even going?

I don't know, Scotty.
We'll find somewhere.

We always do.

Do you think one day we might
not have to move anymore?

I'd like to just live somewhere proper.

*I was riding over, friend

*Far as what I see

*Feel me riding home again

*Home on a valiant steed

*All is still
till day turns night

*Far on an open field

*And I'll be riding home
till I'm

*Far as what I feel

And you shall fear the Almighty,

for the Almighty Lord
has come for you today.

And we will be rid
of the filth!

Of the vermin!

The vile, the unholy, ungodly!

The incarnations of the Devil
will hang!

Yes, yes, yes!

Come on.

Right.

Good people of Seaside,
in our continuing effort to rid this land

of those marked by the Devil,
we present these two heathens.

Two who have worked in unison

to commit an act
of unspeakable violence

and whose necks will be
snapped on account of it!

Thank you, sir.

And now I call on Mr Punch,

the aggrieved victim
in these here circumstances,

to deliver his final statement.

Thank you kindly, Frankly.

You're our man, Punch!

My friends...

...these two who stand before you
on the gallows...

...these two...

...these two...

...did not kill my wife and child.

People of Seaside...

People of Seaside...

We love you, Punch!

Seaside loves you, Punch!

Mr Punch!

These two who stand before you

did not kill my wife and child.

They are mere conduits
for the work of the Devil!

Yeah!

These two infidels
know not what they do!

They are representatives
of His evil ways

and in the act of their hanging,
we say to the Devil, "No!"

No!

We, the people of Seaside,
are stronger than you!

Yes!

We, the people of Seaside,
will eradicate you!

Yes!

So hang they must!

Yes!

Hang 'em! Hang 'em!

And as I am the man who has had
his family so brutally taken from him,

I should have the privilege
of dropping them to their deaths.

I stand before you,
a proud resident of Seaside,

the greatest puppeteer
of my generation!

Father to a murdered daughter,

husband to a murdered wife,

and I will have my vengeance

in this life or the next.

Good dying!

Good dying!

Someone's tampered
with the hang ropes.

Witches!

What's going on?

Look over there.

Get her!
-Stop right there.

Hands in the air.

I am no witch.

This man here, my husband,

killed my baby
and tried to kill me.

Terrible!

It seems to me something
is very wrong with this town.

You kill and cast out
your best souls!

Here you are trying to
off two of the kindliest,

gentlest folk this town has ever known.

And based on what?

A suspicion?
A false accusation by this man?

You've all been sick as pigs
since you cast out

Dr Goodtime with her medicines and such.

You're all dressed
like hobo street monkeys

since you chased sartorial Alice
here into the forest.

You call us witches, but what is
a witch but a person who sits

just outside your blinkered view
of the world.

And by that reckoning,
you should all be afraid.

Because I know you all live daily
with the fear of your own difference.

Today the witch is me...

...but I think you all know,
you all fear,

that tomorrow
the witch might be you!

No great crime
should go unpunished.

I'll not continue to stand aside
and watch you lauded.

You are a puppeteer no more, Punch.

My sweet and talented wife...

I've told you.

Hello!

Where's the rest of ya?

Are you the only ones?

Well, you'll have to do.

Without further ado, ladies
and gentlemen, boys and girls,

I am the Professor,
and this is the Punch and Judy show!

This is the Punch and Judy show!

That's better.

Here within is the story.

It's a very violent story,

with a great many interesting
characters, including...

...Punch,

and Judy!