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1
00:00:08,841 --> 00:00:11,174
Larry David is back
in the news again.
2
00:00:11,257 --> 00:00:12,841
That's right, the co-creator
of Seinfeld
3
00:00:12,924 --> 00:00:14,841
has returned
to his contentious ways,
4
00:00:14,924 --> 00:00:16,924
this time in the retail arena.
5
00:00:17,007 --> 00:00:19,299
Here's NBC's Josh Mankiewicz
with more.
6
00:00:19,382 --> 00:00:21,924
Look,
we've all experienced bad service before,
7
00:00:22,007 --> 00:00:24,257
but for most of us,
there's not much you can do about it.
8
00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:26,049
Maybe write a negative
Yelp review,
9
00:00:26,132 --> 00:00:28,174
or maybe you just don't
go back to the place.
10
00:00:28,257 --> 00:00:31,257
But Larry David has chosen
a different path.
11
00:00:31,341 --> 00:00:33,132
This is Mocha Joe's,
12
00:00:33,215 --> 00:00:36,507
a small coffee shop serving
the Westside of Los Angeles,
13
00:00:36,591 --> 00:00:39,174
and this is Latte Larry's.
14
00:00:39,257 --> 00:00:41,799
Why two coffee shops
right next to each other?
15
00:00:41,883 --> 00:00:44,674
We went to the man himself
for answers.
16
00:00:44,758 --> 00:00:46,924
I was wronged. I was mistreated.
17
00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:49,007
I ordered a cup
of coffee next door,
18
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:52,049
at this Mocha Joe's, and, Josh,
19
00:00:52,132 --> 00:00:54,424
the coffee is cold.
20
00:00:54,507 --> 00:00:57,549
I politely asked for
another cup of coffee.
21
00:00:57,633 --> 00:01:00,132
He banned me from the store.
I couldn't live with it.
22
00:01:00,215 --> 00:01:03,007
So you're operating this place
just out of spite?
23
00:01:03,090 --> 00:01:05,382
Yeah. It's a spite store.
24
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:08,049
I called him an old, bald nut.
I mean, I cop to that.
25
00:01:08,132 --> 00:01:09,466
But the guy comes in here,
26
00:01:09,549 --> 00:01:11,191
complains about the tables,
complains about the coffee.
27
00:01:11,215 --> 00:01:12,716
Do you have wobbly tables?
28
00:01:12,799 --> 00:01:14,941
Eh, one or two. But what's the
big deal? You put your foot on it.
29
00:01:14,965 --> 00:01:16,507
Nobody else is complaining.
30
00:01:16,591 --> 00:01:17,965
If he apologized,
31
00:01:18,049 --> 00:01:20,382
would you get out of
the coffee business?
32
00:01:20,466 --> 00:01:22,591
If it was a deep,
heartfelt apology,
33
00:01:22,674 --> 00:01:24,633
with maybe a little tear...
34
00:01:24,716 --> 00:01:27,466
"Larry, my scones
are like muffins."
35
00:01:27,549 --> 00:01:29,150
That would have to be
included, of course.
36
00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:32,049
Okay, Larry says that
if you would just apologize...
37
00:01:32,132 --> 00:01:34,174
he could get out of business.
38
00:01:34,257 --> 00:01:36,965
Apologize? Me? Never.
A ban is a ban.
39
00:01:37,049 --> 00:01:39,382
You ever think that
maybe the problem is,
40
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:40,799
you were complaining too much?
41
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:43,841
I don't like to tear people
down. I want to help.
42
00:01:43,924 --> 00:01:45,758
Look, this pocket square
you got going, there,
43
00:01:45,841 --> 00:01:47,257
it looks out of place.
44
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,174
That's for some English dandy.
45
00:01:49,257 --> 00:01:50,424
It's not for a journalist.
46
00:01:50,507 --> 00:01:51,983
You don't think
that's kind of insulting?
47
00:01:52,007 --> 00:01:53,549
No, not in the least.
48
00:01:53,633 --> 00:01:56,424
Hey, if you told me you didn't
like my jacket or something,
49
00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:57,841
well, I, I wouldn't care.
50
00:01:57,924 --> 00:02:00,466
Actually, I, I really
don't like your jacket.
51
00:02:01,049 --> 00:02:02,549
Oh, is that so?
52
00:02:02,633 --> 00:02:06,299
And while Larry was the
first to open a spite store,
53
00:02:06,382 --> 00:02:08,924
he's since started a trend
here in Hollywood,
54
00:02:09,007 --> 00:02:11,174
with other celebrities
following suit,
55
00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:12,591
like Jonah Hill,
56
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,007
who's now operating
a spite deli.
57
00:02:15,090 --> 00:02:16,930
So, you know,
I used to go to Irv's Deli,
58
00:02:17,007 --> 00:02:19,090
right next door,
two, three times a week.
59
00:02:19,716 --> 00:02:22,466
And I found a hair
in my sandwich.
60
00:02:22,549 --> 00:02:23,965
- Not your hair?
- No.
61
00:02:24,049 --> 00:02:26,215
This was a gray hair.
It wasn't my hair.
62
00:02:26,299 --> 00:02:28,466
And this guy Irv's going,
"Oh, it's yours."
63
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,174
And I'm, like,
what can I do, you know?
64
00:02:30,257 --> 00:02:33,007
I, I can't sleep. I'm taking four
or five Ambien to get to sleep,
65
00:02:33,090 --> 00:02:34,924
'cause all I see is
this guy Irv's face.
66
00:02:35,007 --> 00:02:39,007
- So what changed?
- What changed was I had seen Latte Larry's.
67
00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:41,050
The idea of a spite store's
such a brilliant idea.
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00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:42,382
I'm gonna open a spite deli.
69
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,215
Mankiewicz:
What started off with spite
70
00:02:44,299 --> 00:02:46,633
has now become
a passion project.
71
00:02:46,716 --> 00:02:48,424
Thanks for dining with us.
72
00:02:49,049 --> 00:02:50,591
Three dollars?
73
00:02:50,674 --> 00:02:54,049
And you're turning down
acting and directing gigs for this?
74
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,412
What's left for me in Hollywood?
75
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,466
Win some award
or something, you know?
76
00:02:57,549 --> 00:03:00,591
Any time I see a customer walk
in here that used to go to Irv's,
77
00:03:00,674 --> 00:03:04,215
it's like my own tiny little
human Oscar walking in here.
78
00:03:04,299 --> 00:03:05,507
So this is your life now?
79
00:03:05,591 --> 00:03:06,674
I might actually open
80
00:03:06,758 --> 00:03:07,924
a spite deli out in New York.
81
00:03:08,007 --> 00:03:10,424
There was a spot on 42nd Street
82
00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:13,341
that was a bit disrespectful
that I'm looking at taking out.
83
00:03:13,424 --> 00:03:17,507
Jonah Hill is not the only
celebrity with spite on his mind.
84
00:03:17,591 --> 00:03:19,799
This is Ray's Exotic Birds,
85
00:03:19,883 --> 00:03:21,841
and this is Sean's.
86
00:03:21,924 --> 00:03:23,466
It's become the place
87
00:03:23,549 --> 00:03:27,049
to get a macaw,
or a hummingbird nester.
88
00:03:27,132 --> 00:03:30,174
I
had always wanted a talking bird.
89
00:03:30,257 --> 00:03:31,841
So I go to Ray,
90
00:03:31,924 --> 00:03:33,841
just next door,
91
00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:35,841
and he sells me the bird.
92
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,674
And the bird doesn't talk.
It just sort of grunts.
93
00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:41,507
So I go back to return it.
He says, "No returns."
94
00:03:41,591 --> 00:03:43,257
I said, "Bullshit."
95
00:03:43,341 --> 00:03:45,758
'Cause he knew,
he knew it was a mute bird.
96
00:03:45,841 --> 00:03:48,549
And I'm on a kind of slow burn,
97
00:03:48,633 --> 00:03:50,341
not knowing quite what to do.
98
00:03:50,424 --> 00:03:52,799
Then Larry opens up
the coffee place,
99
00:03:52,883 --> 00:03:55,174
and it was like,
ding, ding, ding.
100
00:03:55,257 --> 00:03:57,674
Sean's Exotic Birds.
101
00:03:57,758 --> 00:03:59,716
It put Ray right
out of business.
102
00:03:59,799 --> 00:04:03,257
Here, this is a hyacinth macaw,
from Brazil.
103
00:04:03,341 --> 00:04:04,674
Would you like to hold him?
104
00:04:04,758 --> 00:04:05,758
Sure.
105
00:04:05,841 --> 00:04:07,321
Does all the time
you're spending here
106
00:04:07,382 --> 00:04:09,215
take away from,
you know, acting?
107
00:04:09,299 --> 00:04:13,132
I was never a very,
Zen sort of personality,
108
00:04:13,215 --> 00:04:16,132
but I find myself very,
very calm now.
109
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,132
I think, you know,
it's the birds.
110
00:04:18,215 --> 00:04:20,257
Shut up!
111
00:04:21,466 --> 00:04:22,716
So the next time you see
112
00:04:22,799 --> 00:04:25,799
two similar stores
right next to each other,
113
00:04:25,883 --> 00:04:30,090
there's a pretty good chance
one of 'em's doing it out of spite.
114
00:04:30,174 --> 00:04:32,424
Savannah and Hoda, back to you.
115
00:04:43,965 --> 00:04:45,941
- Aah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It hurts right there?
116
00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:48,609
- Now we're gonna bend it.
- Anyway, the guy in the motorized wheelchair,
117
00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:50,257
he's on line at my store...
118
00:04:50,341 --> 00:04:51,983
- Aah, that's plenty. Yeah.
- Right there. Okay.
119
00:04:52,007 --> 00:04:54,591
And all of a sudden,
he gets beep panic,
120
00:04:54,674 --> 00:04:56,650
- and rolls right into me.
- Unbelievable.
121
00:04:56,674 --> 00:04:59,132
Okay, so here's the bottom line
with your knee. Okay?
122
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:01,382
- Yeah.
- You have a tear in your meniscus.
123
00:05:01,466 --> 00:05:04,108
You know, if you want to fix this
thing once and for all, you need surgery.
124
00:05:04,132 --> 00:05:05,591
- Uh-huh.
- All right? I go in there,
125
00:05:05,674 --> 00:05:07,965
I, uh, I repair the tear
in your meniscus,
126
00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:09,507
you're back home
the very same day.
127
00:05:09,591 --> 00:05:10,775
You'll be in bed
for about a week.
128
00:05:10,799 --> 00:05:12,633
Okay, then we'll get
you on crutches.
129
00:05:12,716 --> 00:05:14,900
Then after about two months
of intensive everyday rehab,
130
00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:16,965
you'll be back to normal,
good as new.
131
00:05:17,049 --> 00:05:19,049
- How does that sound?
- Not so great.
132
00:05:19,132 --> 00:05:20,650
You could do other techniques,
but you're gonna be
133
00:05:20,674 --> 00:05:23,007
right back in this chair
in a few months, I guarantee it.
134
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:27,174
What if I got a...
135
00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:29,215
second opinion?
136
00:05:29,883 --> 00:05:31,799
- Why?
- Just to see...
137
00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:34,090
what somebody else
might have to say about it.
138
00:05:34,174 --> 00:05:35,983
If you want to get a second opinion,
by all means.
139
00:05:36,007 --> 00:05:38,215
It's your right. I encourage it.
140
00:05:38,299 --> 00:05:40,591
Oh, okay. So we're cool, then?
141
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,883
Yeah, Larry. I'm cool.
142
00:05:42,965 --> 00:05:45,007
Get your second opinion.
Let me know how it goes.
143
00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:46,817
You know, a lot of people
are gonna say to me,
144
00:05:46,841 --> 00:05:48,108
"You should get
a second opinion."
145
00:05:48,132 --> 00:05:50,341
So I can say, "Yeah.
I got a second opinion."
146
00:05:50,424 --> 00:05:52,442
So it's just so you can
tell your friends you did it.
147
00:05:52,466 --> 00:05:53,946
It's not even saying it
to my friends.
148
00:05:54,007 --> 00:05:55,507
It's saying it
to my late mother.
149
00:05:55,591 --> 00:05:57,716
Okay, while here in my head,
150
00:05:57,799 --> 00:05:58,965
"Larry, what are you doing?
151
00:05:59,049 --> 00:06:01,132
Get a second opinion.
Are you stupid?"
152
00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:03,191
- Why do I need to hear that?
- Yeah, you don't wanna hear that.
153
00:06:03,215 --> 00:06:06,507
- No. Even though she's dead, I need to shut her up.
- Got it. All right.
154
00:06:06,591 --> 00:06:09,150
Um, you can validate your parking up front,
there.
155
00:06:09,174 --> 00:06:10,883
Careful. Uh...
156
00:06:13,591 --> 00:06:14,799
Hey!
157
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:16,633
- Larry!
- Joey!
158
00:06:16,716 --> 00:06:18,549
- How's it going?
- Not terrible.
159
00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:20,174
How's your, uh,
coffee shop doing?
160
00:06:20,257 --> 00:06:21,924
- Doing quite well.
- Really?
161
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:25,257
- Yeah.
- You lookin' for, uh, you know, any people?
162
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,299
- You're looking for...
- I, I am. I've been really unhappy where I am,
163
00:06:28,382 --> 00:06:30,716
- and I'm looking for something new.
- Joey.
164
00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:33,257
- You think I'm gonna turn down a Funkhouser?
- Larry!
165
00:06:33,341 --> 00:06:35,382
- Yeah, of course. Come on.
- Yeah, that'd be great.
166
00:06:35,466 --> 00:06:38,007
Thank you, really. Terrific.
I can't wait to start.
167
00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:41,382
- All right, well, maybe even, uh, maybe even tomorrow.
- Perfect.
168
00:06:41,466 --> 00:06:42,841
- Joey?
- Mm?
169
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:44,299
What's going on over here?
170
00:06:44,382 --> 00:06:46,965
Oh, I'm just waiting
for it to get hot.
171
00:06:47,049 --> 00:06:48,716
You're waiting
for it to get hot?
172
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,442
- I don't think you respect the drought.
- I do respect the drought.
173
00:06:51,466 --> 00:06:53,358
- Do you respect the drought, Joey?
- I do. I really do.
174
00:06:53,382 --> 00:06:55,674
I do respect the drought. I...
175
00:06:55,758 --> 00:06:57,633
- Whoa.
- What?
176
00:06:57,716 --> 00:06:58,716
What?
177
00:06:58,799 --> 00:07:01,132
- Woo! Whoa!
- Okay.
178
00:07:01,215 --> 00:07:02,591
Joey!
179
00:07:02,674 --> 00:07:03,799
Larry.
180
00:07:03,883 --> 00:07:04,924
Yikes.
181
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,591
I mean, I support
your transitioning,
182
00:07:06,674 --> 00:07:09,507
but you gave yourself
quite a large penis there.
183
00:07:09,591 --> 00:07:11,215
Yeah, I wanted to,
184
00:07:11,299 --> 00:07:15,257
you know, follow in the
Funkhouser tradition of penises.
185
00:07:15,341 --> 00:07:16,900
Can you handle, uh,
something like that?
186
00:07:16,924 --> 00:07:19,466
- That's, that's enormous.
- It is, yeah.
187
00:07:19,549 --> 00:07:22,090
But, I mean, it seems like a lot to,
to lug around.
188
00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:24,424
- No, it isn't actually.
- But...
189
00:07:24,507 --> 00:07:26,341
You've tried it out
on some dames?
190
00:07:26,424 --> 00:07:29,591
- I've had no complaints about it. No complaints.
- No complaints.
191
00:07:29,674 --> 00:07:31,215
Okay. All right.
192
00:07:31,299 --> 00:07:33,591
- Enjoy your big penis.
- I am.
193
00:07:33,674 --> 00:07:37,049
- And, uh, you know, go to town with it.
- Thank you, Larry. That's...
194
00:07:37,132 --> 00:07:38,734
- We'll be in touch about the store.
- Yeah. I'll call...
195
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:40,507
I'll call you,
and you just let me know
196
00:07:40,591 --> 00:07:42,609
- when I can start. I can't wait.
- Fantastic.
197
00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:45,174
- All right. Thank you, Larry. Okay.
- Excited to have you.
198
00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:50,341
- Hey! Whoa!
- Look who I brought.
199
00:07:50,424 --> 00:07:52,549
- Country club shit right here.
- Yeah.
200
00:07:52,633 --> 00:07:54,466
How you, uh, doing?
What's going on?
201
00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:58,090
Uh,
I just saw Joey Funkhouser's new penis.
202
00:07:58,174 --> 00:08:00,299
- Who?
- Marty Funkhouser's daughter
203
00:08:00,382 --> 00:08:02,299
has transitioned
into being a man.
204
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:03,507
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
205
00:08:03,591 --> 00:08:07,007
Had the surgery,
and, uh, it's big.
206
00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:08,341
- Mm.
- How big?
207
00:08:08,424 --> 00:08:10,132
- Really big.
- Wow.
208
00:08:10,215 --> 00:08:12,633
Yeah. He gave himself
a giant penis.
209
00:08:12,716 --> 00:08:14,299
- Did you see the balls?
- No.
210
00:08:14,382 --> 00:08:17,132
Completely taken with the penis
that I didn't get to, you know,
211
00:08:17,215 --> 00:08:18,841
look at the scrotum at all.
212
00:08:18,924 --> 00:08:21,466
So wait a minute. This is
what happens at country clubs?
213
00:08:21,549 --> 00:08:23,692
White guys walking around
showing each other their johnson?
214
00:08:23,716 --> 00:08:25,549
No, no, no.
I saw it in the bathroom.
215
00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:26,775
He was wearing
a terrycloth robe.
216
00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,174
He turned
and the robe opened up.
217
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:29,841
People don't tie robes properly.
218
00:08:29,924 --> 00:08:33,007
- They do not.
- They're very cavalier about a robe, you know?
219
00:08:33,090 --> 00:08:35,132
You can't just fling
one side over the other.
220
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,924
- Cinch your robe.
- Cinch your robe.
221
00:08:37,007 --> 00:08:38,817
- Right.
- I don't see how he can wear underwear with that thing.
222
00:08:38,841 --> 00:08:40,841
It's so big there's no way
he can fit in underwear.
223
00:08:40,924 --> 00:08:42,341
- You can't.
- Right?
224
00:08:42,424 --> 00:08:44,591
Everybody in the big johnson
community knows that.
225
00:08:44,674 --> 00:08:46,883
You can't wear underwear.
I don't wear underwear.
226
00:08:46,965 --> 00:08:49,400
- There's a big johnson community?
- Of course there is.
227
00:08:49,424 --> 00:08:53,007
We meet once a month. We talk about
the pitfalls of having a big-ass johnson.
228
00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:55,007
I've had several at the house.
229
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:58,341
You... You've had a big johnson meeting at,
at the house?
230
00:08:58,424 --> 00:09:01,025
When you're fuckin' out of town,
the whole community shows the fuck up,
231
00:09:01,049 --> 00:09:03,633
and we sit around the table,
and just talk.
232
00:09:03,716 --> 00:09:05,674
- Do you have officers?
- Fuck, yeah, we do.
233
00:09:05,758 --> 00:09:07,257
Who's the president?
234
00:09:07,341 --> 00:09:09,841
My man, Horse Cock Williams.
235
00:09:09,965 --> 00:09:12,215
Look, I don't have a big penis,
236
00:09:12,299 --> 00:09:15,507
but I'd like to see if I could
join the big johnson community.
237
00:09:15,591 --> 00:09:17,758
How are you getting in
the big johnson community
238
00:09:17,841 --> 00:09:19,132
without a big johnson? What...
239
00:09:19,215 --> 00:09:21,257
I know somebody there
who could vouch for me.
240
00:09:21,341 --> 00:09:23,483
What do you mean, vouch for you? They,
they, they gotta look at it!
241
00:09:23,507 --> 00:09:25,983
You can't just show up. You gotta
flash that motherfucker at the door.
242
00:09:26,007 --> 00:09:28,924
- Yeah. See?
- Well, what happens if I get caught?
243
00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:30,900
They'll throw you out of there
by your little-ass johnson.
244
00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:33,090
But maybe this would
be a good thing for Joey,
245
00:09:33,174 --> 00:09:35,965
because it's way too big,
and he can't handle it.
246
00:09:36,466 --> 00:09:38,466
I foresee...
247
00:09:38,549 --> 00:09:41,758
big problems with that penis.
248
00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:43,215
Big.
249
00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:44,442
To be honest,
I always tell people
250
00:09:44,466 --> 00:09:45,775
they can fix up the house.
I don't...
251
00:09:45,799 --> 00:09:48,049
Hey, Larry! Hey!
252
00:09:48,132 --> 00:09:50,549
Larry David. Hey.
253
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:51,965
Great news.
254
00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:55,799
I am the listing agent
of the house next to yours.
255
00:09:55,883 --> 00:09:57,317
- Oh, really? You're selling it?
- Yeah.
256
00:09:57,341 --> 00:10:00,049
Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
257
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,090
- Make some money on that one, right?
- Yeah.
258
00:10:02,174 --> 00:10:04,090
Okay. You know,
I should buy it myself,
259
00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:05,758
so I can avoid
asshole neighbors.
260
00:10:05,841 --> 00:10:08,924
- I like that.
- You, you would never buy it, would you?
261
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:11,647
It's a little bit out of my, uh,
prince range, you know, right now.
262
00:10:11,716 --> 00:10:12,924
Oh. That's good.
263
00:10:13,007 --> 00:10:14,275
'Cause you're the
last person in the world
264
00:10:14,299 --> 00:10:15,841
I want living next door to me.
265
00:10:15,924 --> 00:10:17,758
Clients love me, Larry.
266
00:10:56,716 --> 00:10:58,424
- Mm-hmm.
- How's the coffee?
267
00:10:58,507 --> 00:10:59,965
- It's good.
- It's good.
268
00:11:00,049 --> 00:11:01,424
Yeah. Good. You know,
269
00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:03,924
it's interesting, 'cause,
uh, I was in my car earlier,
270
00:11:04,007 --> 00:11:06,215
and all of a sudden,
I hear a siren,
271
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,132
and I look in
the rearview mirror
272
00:11:08,215 --> 00:11:09,935
and there's a fire truck
behind me, and I...
273
00:11:10,007 --> 00:11:12,633
Wow, a fire! And I better get
over to the side of the road.
274
00:11:12,716 --> 00:11:14,424
Those guys are really
in a hurry.
275
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:17,507
I pull over to the side of the road,
and it... shwoo! Goes past me.
276
00:11:17,591 --> 00:11:20,591
And then I pull in here,
and I see the fire truck.
277
00:11:21,341 --> 00:11:23,090
Where's the fire?
278
00:11:23,174 --> 00:11:25,174
Where...
279
00:11:25,257 --> 00:11:27,965
Where is the fire?
280
00:11:28,049 --> 00:11:29,841
- We needed coffee.
- Oh, oh.
281
00:11:29,924 --> 00:11:31,215
- We don't do it often.
- No.
282
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:33,174
- Like, it's not a frequent thing.
- Yeah, no.
283
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,174
You abused your siren.
284
00:11:35,257 --> 00:11:37,841
- Abused our siren?
- You're siren abusers.
285
00:11:37,924 --> 00:11:41,132
I completely get it. I had a
handicapped placard once.
286
00:11:41,215 --> 00:11:43,415
And I could only imagine
what it's like to have a siren.
287
00:11:43,466 --> 00:11:45,506
'Cause that handicapped placard,
that was fantastic.
288
00:11:45,549 --> 00:11:47,591
Enjoy the coffee.
289
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,674
Hey!
290
00:11:49,758 --> 00:11:52,174
- Look at this. Joey Funkhouser.
- Hey, Larry.
291
00:11:52,257 --> 00:11:53,507
- How you doing?
- Hey.
292
00:11:53,591 --> 00:11:55,025
- So have you shown him the ropes?
- Yeah.
293
00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:56,567
- We're gettin' it down. Yeah.
- Fast learner.
294
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,382
- Oh, yeah?
- The only question I have is,
295
00:11:58,466 --> 00:11:59,965
where's the, uh, the tip jar?
296
00:12:00,049 --> 00:12:01,549
Oh, no. No tip jar.
297
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,466
- No tipping?
- No, that's, that's demeaning.
298
00:12:03,549 --> 00:12:05,299
It turns us into... beggars.
299
00:12:05,382 --> 00:12:07,941
- Yeah? You think?
- Yeah. We might as well be outside with a, with a cup.
300
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:10,049
- Uh-oh. Know what happens now?
- It's a... What?
301
00:12:10,132 --> 00:12:11,633
No.
302
00:12:11,716 --> 00:12:13,341
- Ah. Look at that, see?
- Ah.
303
00:12:13,424 --> 00:12:15,049
Oh, boy. This,
this is a big moment.
304
00:12:15,132 --> 00:12:16,650
- That's it?
- Oh, the big moment. Yes, indeed.
305
00:12:16,674 --> 00:12:18,716
- Let's go to the back. To the storeroom?
- Um-hmm.
306
00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:20,191
- And get changed there.
- Okay. Great. Right.
307
00:12:20,215 --> 00:12:22,015
Hey, as long as you're going
to the storeroom,
308
00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:25,108
- show him how to charge the, uh, the self-heating cups.
- Yes, indeed.
309
00:12:25,132 --> 00:12:28,090
I kind of talked Larry into
putting up "no lamping" signs
310
00:12:28,174 --> 00:12:30,654
all over the fuckin' place. People
would stay too fucking long.
311
00:12:44,758 --> 00:12:47,341
- Are you in line?
- What?
312
00:12:47,674 --> 00:12:50,466
- Are you in line for coffee?
- Oh. N-No. No.
313
00:12:50,549 --> 00:12:52,633
Sorry, we haven't met, have we?
314
00:12:52,716 --> 00:12:55,799
- No. Uh-uh. No.
- Okay.
315
00:12:55,883 --> 00:12:57,841
No, we haven't.
316
00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:12,424
Okay. I'm Alice.
317
00:13:12,507 --> 00:13:14,799
Um, I'm... Buck.
318
00:13:14,883 --> 00:13:17,090
- Nice to meet you, Buck.
- Nice to meet you.
319
00:13:17,174 --> 00:13:19,257
Hey,
Larry! Where are the aprons?
320
00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:20,799
They're behind the Purell!
321
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,299
I can't find the fuckin' aprons!
322
00:13:23,382 --> 00:13:25,507
Are you... Latte Larry?
323
00:13:25,591 --> 00:13:26,799
- Yes!
- Oh.
324
00:13:26,883 --> 00:13:28,567
Buck's my nickname.
That's what my friends call me.
325
00:13:28,591 --> 00:13:30,799
How'd you get to Buck
from Larry?
326
00:13:30,883 --> 00:13:32,507
I like to watch
a lot of Westerns.
327
00:13:32,591 --> 00:13:35,382
What's your favorite?
328
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,299
Blue Skies Over the Canyon.
329
00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:39,507
Well, I just moved
in the neighborhood, so...
330
00:13:39,591 --> 00:13:41,883
- I'll see you around.
- Oh, great.
331
00:13:41,965 --> 00:13:44,799
Um, hi. Can I get
a medium latte...
332
00:13:46,799 --> 00:13:48,674
Larry: You know, it's so crazy.
333
00:13:48,758 --> 00:13:52,174
She's completely normal, but she
just doesn't seem to remember... me,
334
00:13:52,257 --> 00:13:54,341
or ever working for me,
or anything to do with me.
335
00:13:54,424 --> 00:13:58,257
So she suffered memory loss
from the choking on the scone?
336
00:13:58,341 --> 00:14:00,191
And that got me out of the lawsuit,
the whole thing.
337
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:03,424
Oh, that's Tara and Will.
338
00:14:04,924 --> 00:14:06,841
Hey!
339
00:14:06,924 --> 00:14:08,965
Oh, look, you're getting
bigger every minute!
340
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,424
- I know, I know.
- Oh, my God. I have to touch it.
341
00:14:11,507 --> 00:14:13,299
- Please.
- Come on in.
342
00:14:13,382 --> 00:14:14,507
- Hello.
- Hello. Hi.
343
00:14:14,591 --> 00:14:16,215
I'm the Larry you've
heard so much about.
344
00:14:16,299 --> 00:14:17,841
- Oh.
- Yes.
345
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,483
- It's so nice to finally meet you.
- Hi.
346
00:14:19,507 --> 00:14:21,466
- How you doin'? Hi.
- Will.
347
00:14:21,549 --> 00:14:22,716
Will.
348
00:14:22,799 --> 00:14:24,758
- Any minute now, I think, huh?
- Yeah.
349
00:14:24,841 --> 00:14:25,841
Yeah. Any minute.
350
00:14:25,924 --> 00:14:27,007
- Oh, boy.
- Jesus.
351
00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:28,674
You know, I impregnated
somebody once.
352
00:14:28,758 --> 00:14:30,007
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
353
00:14:30,090 --> 00:14:32,341
We broke up
in the abortion clinic.
354
00:14:32,424 --> 00:14:34,400
- How about that?
- You've never told me that.
355
00:14:34,424 --> 00:14:36,132
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Wow.
356
00:14:36,215 --> 00:14:37,615
Just so you know,
while you're here,
357
00:14:37,674 --> 00:14:39,434
- I don't know how to deliver a baby.
- Okay.
358
00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:40,817
How do you,
how do you induce labor?
359
00:14:40,841 --> 00:14:42,424
Can you scare someone
into labor?
360
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:43,941
- I don't know.
- Is that possible?
361
00:14:43,965 --> 00:14:45,382
- I...
- Uh, maybe it's possible.
362
00:14:45,466 --> 00:14:46,900
I think it's something
we want to avoid.
363
00:14:46,924 --> 00:14:48,025
Why would you wanna do that?
364
00:14:48,049 --> 00:14:49,090
A baby should come
365
00:14:49,174 --> 00:14:50,614
when it's naturally
supposed to come.
366
00:14:50,674 --> 00:14:52,090
Who needs Mr. Buttinski
over here?
367
00:14:52,174 --> 00:14:54,049
It's a hypothetical.
It's just a hypothetical.
368
00:14:54,132 --> 00:14:56,716
Let's say you had a bet
with a friend.
369
00:14:56,799 --> 00:14:58,215
You see a pregnant woman
who, uh...
370
00:14:58,299 --> 00:14:59,692
Big pregnant woman
walking down the street...
371
00:14:59,716 --> 00:15:01,591
You make a $50 bet
with this friend,
372
00:15:01,674 --> 00:15:03,233
that you can induce labor
by scaring her.
373
00:15:03,257 --> 00:15:05,108
You go into the bushes,
she's walking down the street,
374
00:15:05,132 --> 00:15:06,609
and all of a sudden
you jump out. Aah!
375
00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:08,758
- Uh, you in the bushes?
- Yeah.
376
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,674
For 50 bucks you're
going in the bushes?
377
00:15:10,758 --> 00:15:12,859
Yeah, but it's hypothetical.
See if you can induce labor.
378
00:15:12,883 --> 00:15:14,483
Well, what happens if
she goes into labor?
379
00:15:14,507 --> 00:15:15,609
- Yeah, what happens if you win?
- Yeah.
380
00:15:15,633 --> 00:15:16,913
I, I'd drive her
to the hospital.
381
00:15:16,965 --> 00:15:19,591
Okay, let's say you're
driving her to the hospital,
382
00:15:19,674 --> 00:15:21,633
and along the way
to the hospital,
383
00:15:21,716 --> 00:15:23,257
she starts giving birth
384
00:15:23,341 --> 00:15:25,007
- in your car?
- Well, that's a problem.
385
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,299
You gotta really think
these hypotheticals out.
386
00:15:27,382 --> 00:15:28,924
'Cause they always end poorly.
387
00:15:29,007 --> 00:15:30,257
Okay, I won't scare her.
388
00:15:30,341 --> 00:15:31,692
- Okay.
- Yeah, thank you.
389
00:15:31,716 --> 00:15:33,841
So, I'm so glad you guys
finally came over.
390
00:15:33,924 --> 00:15:36,466
- Sorry we're late.
- Yeah, that's... that's on me.
391
00:15:36,549 --> 00:15:38,883
I, you know,
I refuse to look at the phone, and like,
392
00:15:38,965 --> 00:15:40,591
I try and go off the watch.
I forget,
393
00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:42,150
and it always, like,
runs a little late.
394
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,900
- Yeah, hard to guess it.
- You can't get that fixed?
395
00:15:43,924 --> 00:15:45,883
I've tried, but, you know,
396
00:15:45,965 --> 00:15:48,483
- it always just, like, goes back, you know?
- I know a guy who can fix that,
397
00:15:48,507 --> 00:15:50,341
easily. He's, he's great.
398
00:15:50,424 --> 00:15:52,466
- You sure?
- K.I. Jeweler, yeah.
399
00:15:52,549 --> 00:15:53,883
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, really?
400
00:15:53,965 --> 00:15:55,692
I drive by there every day.
I can just bring it in.
401
00:15:55,716 --> 00:15:57,758
- Ah, all right. Yeah.
- That's so nice.
402
00:15:57,841 --> 00:15:58,965
I guarantee it.
403
00:15:59,049 --> 00:16:00,317
Yeah, it's my
grandfather's watch.
404
00:16:00,341 --> 00:16:01,483
Gave it to me, like,
right before he died.
405
00:16:01,507 --> 00:16:03,257
Oh, yeah?
You should get it fixed.
406
00:16:03,341 --> 00:16:04,841
And believe me,
if anybody can fix it,
407
00:16:04,924 --> 00:16:06,150
- it's this guy. He's great.
- Oh, good.
408
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,400
- I appreciate that.
- Aah!
409
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:08,674
Where are my manners?
410
00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:09,924
You want something to drink?
411
00:16:10,007 --> 00:16:11,382
That would be great. I'm, I'm...
412
00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:12,841
really craving ginger ale.
413
00:16:12,924 --> 00:16:14,525
- Oh, we have ginger ale. Right, Jeff?
- Do you?
414
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:17,382
I cannot stock up enough
ginger ale. I love ginger ale.
415
00:16:17,466 --> 00:16:19,591
Hey, how 'bout...
I'll get in on the ginger ale.
416
00:16:19,674 --> 00:16:22,299
- You sure you got enough?
- Oh, no, we have tons of ginger ale.
417
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,716
Two ginger ales, Jeffrey.
418
00:16:23,799 --> 00:16:25,317
- Thank you, Jeff. Thank you.
- Thank you.
419
00:16:25,341 --> 00:16:27,758
So, um, do you know the sex of the,
of the child?
420
00:16:27,841 --> 00:16:29,549
We're gonna have
a little baby boy.
421
00:16:29,633 --> 00:16:31,692
- A little baby boy. How about that?
- Oh, so cute! Yeah.
422
00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:34,799
Have you thought about the,
um, the skin color at all?
423
00:16:34,883 --> 00:16:36,924
- I'm sorry?
- You know. The tone?
424
00:16:37,007 --> 00:16:39,466
Would you prefer it's,
it's a, it's a little darker?
425
00:16:39,549 --> 00:16:41,830
I would imagine you might
prefer it to be a little darker,
426
00:16:41,883 --> 00:16:43,257
as opposed to lighter, no?
427
00:16:43,341 --> 00:16:45,066
Well, I mean,
I've never even thought about it.
428
00:16:45,090 --> 00:16:47,799
- Huh.
- But, I guess like, darker, I guess.
429
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,674
- Yeah, I would think. Right?
- What?
430
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,883
Yeah, that makes sense.
431
00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:52,549
- Uh, I...
- What?
432
00:16:52,633 --> 00:16:54,233
- You'd prefer him to be darker?
- Prefer it...
433
00:16:54,257 --> 00:16:56,025
I mean, if someone's asking me,
like, if I had to choose,
434
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,483
- I'd say, like darker.
- Why are you choosing?
435
00:16:57,507 --> 00:16:59,442
You'd probably like it
a little lighter maybe, no?
436
00:16:59,466 --> 00:17:01,841
No, I, I don't, I don't think
437
00:17:01,924 --> 00:17:03,549
I want my baby to be lighter.
438
00:17:03,633 --> 00:17:05,299
I haven't thought
about that at all.
439
00:17:05,382 --> 00:17:07,066
- I'm surprised that you've thought about it.
- Oh, yeah.
440
00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,299
I mean, well, I,
I hadn't thought about it,
441
00:17:09,382 --> 00:17:10,609
but asked the question, I mean...
442
00:17:10,633 --> 00:17:12,341
I know, but what you
could have said,
443
00:17:12,424 --> 00:17:13,633
I don't have a preference,
444
00:17:13,716 --> 00:17:15,424
but you said you'd
prefer him to be darker.
445
00:17:15,507 --> 00:17:17,400
- You don't have a preference at all?
- No, I don't have a preference.
446
00:17:17,424 --> 00:17:19,215
Say somebody put
a gun to your head.
447
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:22,007
Said, "Do you want you baby
to be lighter or darker?"
448
00:17:22,090 --> 00:17:23,424
What would you choose?
449
00:17:23,507 --> 00:17:26,090
Why is someone holding a
gun to my head and asking me
450
00:17:26,174 --> 00:17:29,341
- what shade I would prefer my son to be?
- It's a hypothetical.
451
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,609
- I don't know, see...
- Why is somebody putting a gun to her head?
452
00:17:31,633 --> 00:17:34,090
He wants to... He wants to
find out what your preference is.
453
00:17:34,174 --> 00:17:36,174
So you're walking
down the street with Will,
454
00:17:36,257 --> 00:17:38,191
and he snatches you into
the back seat of the car,
455
00:17:38,215 --> 00:17:39,442
and now he's got
a gun to your head.
456
00:17:39,466 --> 00:17:41,257
"Do you want a lighter
or a darker baby?
457
00:17:41,341 --> 00:17:43,382
- "What shade? What shade?"
- Get away from me!
458
00:17:43,466 --> 00:17:44,859
What color is the guy
holding the gun?
459
00:17:44,883 --> 00:17:46,215
He's mocha.
Right down the middle.
460
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,859
- Right down the middle.
- Fifty-fifty.
461
00:17:47,883 --> 00:17:50,049
- Do you want it lighter or darker?
- I...
462
00:17:50,132 --> 00:17:52,633
I would say on the lighter side.
463
00:17:52,716 --> 00:17:54,965
- Ah.
- Mm-hmm. See?
464
00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:58,007
- So you have a preference.
- But I had a gun to my head.
465
00:17:58,090 --> 00:17:59,191
You didn't have
a gun to your head.
466
00:17:59,215 --> 00:18:00,483
We're sitting
in a nice living room.
467
00:18:00,507 --> 00:18:01,758
We're getting ginger ales.
468
00:18:01,841 --> 00:18:03,601
I'm proud to be
black. I think you'd be
469
00:18:03,633 --> 00:18:05,275
- proud to be black, too.
- Oh, of course...
470
00:18:05,299 --> 00:18:06,507
Okay, I'm sorry.
471
00:18:06,591 --> 00:18:08,341
- I don't feel...
- I'm not wrong.
472
00:18:08,424 --> 00:18:10,215
- I don't feel good. Okay.
- Okay. I'm...
473
00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:11,775
- I'm so sorry.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
474
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,941
- Thank you. Nice to meet you.
- Yeah. Thank you so much.
475
00:18:13,965 --> 00:18:16,317
- Okay, thanks for coming.
- Thank you very much for your hospitality.
476
00:18:16,341 --> 00:18:17,924
- Sorry about all this.
- Aw.
477
00:18:18,007 --> 00:18:21,299
- Thanks for having us.
- I'll get that watch fixed.
478
00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:24,841
What the fuck is
the matter with you?
479
00:18:24,924 --> 00:18:26,674
What?
480
00:18:26,758 --> 00:18:28,841
Let me ask you something.
481
00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:32,257
What is so hard about
being a matador? I don't get it.
482
00:18:32,341 --> 00:18:34,090
- They have the cape, right?
- Right.
483
00:18:34,174 --> 00:18:35,924
The bull seems to run
into the cape.
484
00:18:36,007 --> 00:18:37,424
They don't run into the guy.
485
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:39,549
- How hard is it to go like that?
- Right.
486
00:18:39,633 --> 00:18:40,924
- Ow. Aah.
- Oh.
487
00:18:41,007 --> 00:18:42,132
- It's right there.
- Yeah.
488
00:18:42,215 --> 00:18:43,215
Here's the deal.
489
00:18:43,299 --> 00:18:45,758
You do have a tear
in the meniscus.
490
00:18:45,841 --> 00:18:47,466
But it's the outer edge
of the meniscus,
491
00:18:47,549 --> 00:18:49,799
and that area will heal itself.
492
00:18:49,883 --> 00:18:52,090
I think some rest, some ice,
493
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:55,799
some ibuprofen. Uh,
I'd put you on a PT course.
494
00:18:55,883 --> 00:18:57,150
Physical therapy.
You can come here,
495
00:18:57,174 --> 00:18:58,854
or you can, um, have 'em
come to your home.
496
00:18:58,883 --> 00:19:00,591
- Whatever you'd like. Yeah.
- What?
497
00:19:00,674 --> 00:19:03,799
What a relief. I just was
led to believe that I...
498
00:19:03,883 --> 00:19:05,257
I was gonna need surgery.
499
00:19:05,341 --> 00:19:08,758
- Oh. Were we a second opinion?
- Yeah.
500
00:19:09,257 --> 00:19:12,466
Do you mind me asking
who the, uh, other doctor is?
501
00:19:12,549 --> 00:19:14,257
It's Dr. Seiderman.
502
00:19:14,341 --> 00:19:15,633
Good doctor.
503
00:19:15,716 --> 00:19:16,841
Oh, you know him?
504
00:19:16,924 --> 00:19:19,049
We've crossed paths
a time or two.
505
00:19:19,132 --> 00:19:20,591
Yeah.
506
00:19:20,674 --> 00:19:23,965
You are gonna tell
the other doctor about me.
507
00:19:24,049 --> 00:19:25,299
Yeah. I already did.
508
00:19:25,382 --> 00:19:26,382
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.
509
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,799
Did you mention me by name?
510
00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:31,466
- No.
- Okay.
511
00:19:31,549 --> 00:19:33,633
I don't know
how I'm gonna tell him.
512
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:36,591
It's gotta be done.
513
00:19:45,382 --> 00:19:46,758
No patient in there?
514
00:19:46,841 --> 00:19:48,174
No. No patient.
515
00:19:48,257 --> 00:19:50,007
Just a lot of traffic.
516
00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:53,257
Really. So you just
put the siren on?
517
00:19:53,341 --> 00:19:54,674
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Really?
518
00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:56,174
Another siren abuser.
519
00:19:56,257 --> 00:19:57,674
It's not abuse. I...
520
00:19:57,758 --> 00:19:59,424
It's more of, it's more use.
521
00:19:59,507 --> 00:20:00,716
If word gets out
522
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:02,841
that all of you people
are just putting sirens on
523
00:20:02,924 --> 00:20:04,341
to get to places faster,
524
00:20:04,424 --> 00:20:06,799
nobody's gonna pull over to
the side of the road anymore.
525
00:20:06,883 --> 00:20:08,591
And then you know
what's gonna happen?
526
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:10,507
You're gonna have
some dead people.
527
00:20:10,591 --> 00:20:12,799
- Gotta get these inside, sir.
- Ugh. Of course!
528
00:20:12,883 --> 00:20:14,424
Enjoy your coffee.
529
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,507
Uh...
530
00:20:18,591 --> 00:20:21,716
According to this doctor, uh...
531
00:20:21,799 --> 00:20:25,674
he said I didn't need
to get the... surgery.
532
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:26,883
No surgery.
533
00:20:26,965 --> 00:20:28,716
He said I just needed
some physical therapy,
534
00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:30,924
and some ibuprofen.
535
00:20:31,007 --> 00:20:33,965
And everything will just magically
return to, uh, to health, huh?
536
00:20:34,049 --> 00:20:36,674
- Yeah.
- So, I think it's worth giving a shot, no?
537
00:20:36,758 --> 00:20:37,965
- And, uh...
- Yeah?
538
00:20:38,049 --> 00:20:39,215
Who was the doctor?
539
00:20:39,299 --> 00:20:41,215
Uh, Dr. Fuller.
540
00:20:41,299 --> 00:20:42,633
- Mark Fuller.
- Yeah.
541
00:20:42,716 --> 00:20:45,007
Hmm. Nice doctor.
542
00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:46,341
Good energy.
543
00:20:46,424 --> 00:20:48,257
I know how it goes.
544
00:20:48,341 --> 00:20:50,233
- Well, good luck with your, uh...
- Aw, come on.
545
00:20:50,257 --> 00:20:52,299
Don't... don't be mad. Come on.
546
00:20:52,382 --> 00:20:53,883
Mad? I'm not mad. I'm just...
547
00:20:53,965 --> 00:20:55,883
You're...
you're a little peeved.
548
00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:57,674
Well, good luck
in your journey, Larry.
549
00:20:57,758 --> 00:20:59,633
And, uh, I wish you
and your knee all the best.
550
00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:02,007
I have a few patients
I need to see, so...
551
00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:04,007
if you don't mind.
552
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:07,299
Okay, let's do the surgery.
553
00:21:07,382 --> 00:21:09,841
No. I'm not, I'm not
doing the surgery, Larry.
554
00:21:09,924 --> 00:21:12,108
- What? Come on. Come on, we'll do the surgery.
- I'm not doing...
555
00:21:12,132 --> 00:21:13,591
You'll get no surgery from me.
556
00:21:13,674 --> 00:21:15,841
Nothing. Nada. Not a stitch.
Do you understand me?
557
00:21:15,924 --> 00:21:17,884
I don't want anything
to do with you or your knee.
558
00:21:17,924 --> 00:21:19,650
- Come on, I said I'll get the surgery.
- No!
559
00:21:19,674 --> 00:21:21,150
- Let me just get the surgery.
- There's no surgery.
560
00:21:21,174 --> 00:21:22,900
- Don't be like that! I'm sorry!
- Like what, Larry? No.
561
00:21:22,924 --> 00:21:25,483
- Sorry's not good enough.
- Why are you acting like such a baby?
562
00:21:25,507 --> 00:21:27,734
I'm the baby? You're the one going
around town getting a bunch of opinions!
563
00:21:27,758 --> 00:21:29,775
Okay, you know what? I don't
need any more opinions, okay?
564
00:21:29,799 --> 00:21:32,924
Just be on the record, though,
that I said I'd get the surgery.
565
00:21:33,007 --> 00:21:34,650
- It's on the record, Larry. Thank you.
- You don't wanna give it to me.
566
00:21:34,674 --> 00:21:36,090
You blew it!
I don't know why I ever
567
00:21:36,174 --> 00:21:37,275
went with you
in the first place.
568
00:21:37,299 --> 00:21:39,424
You sicken me! I'm leaving.
569
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,132
Okay? And you'll regret it!
570
00:21:41,215 --> 00:21:44,341
Dominic will validate
your parking at the front desk!
571
00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:01,591
Hi. Welcome to M.K...
572
00:22:01,674 --> 00:22:02,674
Hey.
573
00:22:02,716 --> 00:22:04,633
- Larry.
- Mila?
574
00:22:04,716 --> 00:22:05,924
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
575
00:22:06,007 --> 00:22:07,367
- What is this?
- This is my store.
576
00:22:07,424 --> 00:22:08,674
What do you mean, your store?
577
00:22:08,758 --> 00:22:11,466
I opened up this store
because of you.
578
00:22:11,549 --> 00:22:12,591
Get this, Larry.
579
00:22:12,674 --> 00:22:15,507
K.I. Jewelers fucked me over.
580
00:22:15,591 --> 00:22:17,174
I went in, I bought a watch.
581
00:22:17,257 --> 00:22:19,442
I started wearing it, I started
noticing I was late everywhere I went.
582
00:22:19,466 --> 00:22:21,525
I would go to like, a meeting,
and I was, like, five minutes late.
583
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,924
So I walked in,
I asked for a refund...
584
00:22:24,007 --> 00:22:25,466
They said no.
585
00:22:25,549 --> 00:22:26,799
Bastards.
586
00:22:26,883 --> 00:22:28,674
So I said,
"Fuck you, K.I. Jewelers,"
587
00:22:28,758 --> 00:22:31,257
and I opened up M.K. Jewelers.
588
00:22:31,841 --> 00:22:33,174
Spite store, Larry.
589
00:22:33,257 --> 00:22:34,841
Because of you.
590
00:22:34,924 --> 00:22:36,174
I can't tell you how...
591
00:22:36,257 --> 00:22:38,382
- How pleased I am to hear this.
- Well, thank you.
592
00:22:38,466 --> 00:22:39,841
- Anyways, Larry!
- Yeah.
593
00:22:39,924 --> 00:22:41,275
- All right. Yeah.
- You came in here. What's up?
594
00:22:41,299 --> 00:22:43,257
- Well, I got this watch...
- Yeah.
595
00:22:43,341 --> 00:22:44,633
I was gonna bring it over there.
596
00:22:44,716 --> 00:22:46,215
- Gone now.
- Gone now, huh?
597
00:22:46,299 --> 00:22:48,549
- What are you gonna do?
- Here you go.
598
00:22:48,965 --> 00:22:50,382
Well, what do you want me to do?
599
00:22:50,466 --> 00:22:51,466
Fix it.
600
00:22:51,549 --> 00:22:53,132
Well, I don't...
I don't do that, Larry.
601
00:22:53,215 --> 00:22:54,841
You can't fix the watch?
602
00:22:54,924 --> 00:22:57,382
No. Sorry.
I'm just here for spite.
603
00:22:57,466 --> 00:22:59,883
- Mm.
- Yeah.
604
00:22:59,965 --> 00:23:01,758
Will and Tara?
605
00:23:01,841 --> 00:23:04,215
Still not talking.
Still not talking.
606
00:23:04,299 --> 00:23:06,341
- All because of me?
- All because of you.
607
00:23:06,424 --> 00:23:08,049
- Who cares what shade?
- Yeah.
608
00:23:08,132 --> 00:23:10,525
What do you think, like,
ten years down the road he's gonna go,
609
00:23:10,549 --> 00:23:12,549
"You know, he was never
as dark as I wanted."
610
00:23:14,466 --> 00:23:16,424
- You know that's never happening.
- Yeah.
611
00:23:16,507 --> 00:23:18,466
Hey, you know what?
I still have his watch.
612
00:23:18,549 --> 00:23:20,215
- You're kidding me.
- No.
613
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:22,132
I couldn't get it fixed. Look.
614
00:23:22,215 --> 00:23:24,358
So now you gotta carry that
thing with you everywhere you go?
615
00:23:24,382 --> 00:23:26,382
- I gotta find a jeweler.
- Oh, jeez.
616
00:23:26,466 --> 00:23:28,049
Hey, hey, fellas.
617
00:23:28,132 --> 00:23:29,257
Oh, my God.
618
00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:31,299
You watch, uh, Channel 5 news?
619
00:23:31,382 --> 00:23:33,924
Well, there's a real smokeshow
who does the weather on there,
620
00:23:34,007 --> 00:23:35,507
and, uh,
we had a date last night.
621
00:23:35,591 --> 00:23:39,049
Mm. Where'd you go,
to the asylum where she's staying?
622
00:23:39,132 --> 00:23:41,174
Go fuck yourself, Larry.
623
00:23:41,965 --> 00:23:45,174
I've never felt such antipathy
towards a bald man in my life.
624
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:48,591
- He's a shanda for the bald.
- He's a shanda for the bald.
625
00:23:51,633 --> 00:23:53,466
I'll be right back.
626
00:23:53,716 --> 00:23:55,049
Aha!
627
00:23:55,132 --> 00:23:56,924
There's the water police.
628
00:23:57,007 --> 00:23:58,299
- Aha!
- Right on cue.
629
00:23:58,382 --> 00:24:00,883
Look at this.
Disrespecting the drought again.
630
00:24:00,965 --> 00:24:02,257
I'm, I'm about to shave.
631
00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:04,758
- Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
- Like you, you...
632
00:24:04,841 --> 00:24:06,481
you'd need the hot water
with the shaving.
633
00:24:06,549 --> 00:24:08,591
All right. Here's how you
save water when you shave.
634
00:24:08,674 --> 00:24:10,591
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
- You put the water on,
635
00:24:10,674 --> 00:24:12,799
you rinse the blade,
and then you turn the water off.
636
00:24:12,883 --> 00:24:14,965
- Right.
- Then you, then you shave a little bit.
637
00:24:15,049 --> 00:24:16,758
- Yeah.
- Then you put the water on again.
638
00:24:16,841 --> 00:24:18,758
You rinse it out,
you turn it off.
639
00:24:18,841 --> 00:24:20,341
I appreciate the shaving lesson.
640
00:24:20,424 --> 00:24:21,859
- Is that how you do it?
- That's how I do it, yeah.
641
00:24:21,883 --> 00:24:23,283
- All right, that'll be $10.
- Yeah.
642
00:24:23,341 --> 00:24:24,817
You know,
I think there are probably better ways
643
00:24:24,841 --> 00:24:26,561
to save water than
following me around here.
644
00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:29,716
- You're right, Joey. You're 100 percent right.
- Exactly. Okay.
645
00:25:02,049 --> 00:25:03,841
So, um...
646
00:25:04,883 --> 00:25:07,716
I found my watch...
647
00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:09,591
on the ground. It's broken.
648
00:25:09,674 --> 00:25:12,174
I see that. That's,
uh, that's too bad.
649
00:25:12,257 --> 00:25:14,841
Any idea what happened to it?
650
00:25:14,924 --> 00:25:17,382
- No. No idea.
- Ah, uh-huh.
651
00:25:18,507 --> 00:25:20,716
- I'll tell you what I think, Joey.
- Yeah?
652
00:25:20,799 --> 00:25:23,633
I think you turned abruptly,
your robe opened up,
653
00:25:23,716 --> 00:25:25,317
and you knocked it over
with your big penis.
654
00:25:25,341 --> 00:25:26,716
That's what I think happened.
655
00:25:26,799 --> 00:25:29,090
Okay, I'm sorry. I knocked
it over. But it... I just,
656
00:25:29,174 --> 00:25:31,341
I just turned around,
and I, I hit it.
657
00:25:31,424 --> 00:25:33,341
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
- I'm sorry, okay?
658
00:25:33,424 --> 00:25:36,841
But I, you know, I told you
it's a tough thing to handle.
659
00:25:36,924 --> 00:25:38,341
Accidents happen, you know?
660
00:25:38,424 --> 00:25:39,883
- Accidents happen. Hey!
- Yeah.
661
00:25:39,965 --> 00:25:41,299
- No worries.
- Yeah.
662
00:25:41,382 --> 00:25:43,090
- No worries. And listen, Joey...
- Yeah.
663
00:25:43,174 --> 00:25:46,049
- If you ever knock anything over again with your penis...
- Yeah.
664
00:25:46,132 --> 00:25:47,758
You can always come to me.
665
00:25:47,841 --> 00:25:49,758
Thank you.
666
00:25:49,841 --> 00:25:51,299
Okay.
667
00:25:53,215 --> 00:25:56,257
- And cinch that robe, Joey.
- Okay, Larry.
668
00:25:57,591 --> 00:25:59,841
Uncle Freddy,
the Robust, uh, Select,
669
00:25:59,924 --> 00:26:01,567
just the way you like it...
Extra hot and sweet.
670
00:26:01,591 --> 00:26:03,090
You're tremendous. This is maybe
671
00:26:03,174 --> 00:26:04,775
the best I've ever had
a coffee brought to me.
672
00:26:04,799 --> 00:26:06,692
- No. Come on. Thank you.
- You're killing it, here.
673
00:26:06,716 --> 00:26:08,716
- Hey, Joey, do me a favor, will ya?
- Yeah. Yeah.
674
00:26:08,799 --> 00:26:11,007
- I knocked over some beans in the storeroom.
- Oh.
675
00:26:11,090 --> 00:26:13,066
- They're all over the floor.
- Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
676
00:26:13,090 --> 00:26:14,525
- See you later. Okay.
- You're killing it here.
677
00:26:14,549 --> 00:26:15,883
- Hey.
- Hey.
678
00:26:15,965 --> 00:26:17,983
- He's doing a tremendous job.
- Yeah, he's doing great.
679
00:26:18,007 --> 00:26:19,633
- Speaking of Joey.
- Yeah.
680
00:26:19,716 --> 00:26:21,883
Knocked a watch
off the bathroom counter
681
00:26:21,965 --> 00:26:24,174
with his,
with his giant penis at the club.
682
00:26:24,257 --> 00:26:27,007
Can't repair it. I knew that
penis was gonna cause trouble.
683
00:26:27,090 --> 00:26:29,275
It was an accident, all right?
Did he feel bad about it?
684
00:26:29,299 --> 00:26:30,650
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Well, that's all that matters.
685
00:26:30,674 --> 00:26:31,941
He's not used to
moving around with it.
686
00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:33,382
- Yeah. Yeah.
- I can only imagine.
687
00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:35,466
You gotta break some eggs
to make an omelet, right?
688
00:26:35,507 --> 00:26:36,924
Gotta break
a couple watches to...
689
00:26:37,007 --> 00:26:38,424
know how to handle a big cock.
690
00:26:38,507 --> 00:26:41,174
- Sure.
- Anyway, you're terrific. Congratulations.
691
00:26:41,257 --> 00:26:43,132
See you, Freddy.
692
00:26:47,007 --> 00:26:48,633
- Hey!
- Hi, Buck!
693
00:26:48,716 --> 00:26:50,758
Hi. Alice, right?
694
00:26:50,841 --> 00:26:52,257
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
695
00:26:52,341 --> 00:26:53,549
What can I do for you?
696
00:26:53,633 --> 00:26:55,591
Oh, I will have
a cappuccino to go, please.
697
00:26:55,674 --> 00:26:57,758
All right. Joey will
take it from here.
698
00:26:57,841 --> 00:26:59,633
Thank you.
699
00:26:59,716 --> 00:27:03,257
- Anything else?
- Um, how are these? I've never had one before.
700
00:27:03,341 --> 00:27:05,442
- Oh, the scones?
- The scone. Is it good?
701
00:27:05,466 --> 00:27:06,883
Oh, I think they're great.
702
00:27:07,424 --> 00:27:08,841
- Mm.
- Mm.
703
00:27:19,299 --> 00:27:21,215
Aah!
704
00:27:22,549 --> 00:27:24,132
You!
705
00:27:24,215 --> 00:27:27,507
- You!
- No!
706
00:27:27,591 --> 00:27:30,215
No! I didn't do anything!
707
00:27:37,215 --> 00:27:38,466
Oh, my God.
708
00:27:38,549 --> 00:27:42,049
- Are you okay?
- I think so.
709
00:27:43,424 --> 00:27:47,257
- I'm Mocha Joe.
- I'm Alice.
710
00:27:47,341 --> 00:27:50,061
Why don't you come inside and
sit down? I'll get you a cup of coffee.
711
00:27:50,674 --> 00:27:52,257
Okay.
712
00:27:58,090 --> 00:28:00,883
- Did you guys make up?
- I mean, kind of.
713
00:28:00,965 --> 00:28:02,424
It's been rough.
714
00:28:02,507 --> 00:28:04,799
- Yeah, we've been fighting.
- Oh. So sorry.
715
00:28:04,883 --> 00:28:05,674
She's pissed at me.
716
00:28:05,758 --> 00:28:07,674
- Have a seat.
- Here?
717
00:28:07,758 --> 00:28:08,924
Yeah.
718
00:28:09,007 --> 00:28:10,567
You know, like,
things you've said,
719
00:28:10,591 --> 00:28:11,965
it's not like you
don't mean them,
720
00:28:12,049 --> 00:28:14,007
it's just the type of stuff
you don't say.
721
00:28:14,090 --> 00:28:16,049
You don't wanna make her cry,
722
00:28:16,132 --> 00:28:18,924
but at the same time,
you're also not wrong,
723
00:28:19,007 --> 00:28:20,299
you know?
724
00:28:20,382 --> 00:28:21,883
Eh... Are you okay?
725
00:28:21,965 --> 00:28:23,257
- Yeah.
- Okay.
726
00:28:23,341 --> 00:28:25,299
And like, like,
race is always gonna be an issue.
727
00:28:25,382 --> 00:28:28,233
- Like, it's a part of being in an interracial relationship.
- Yeah, yeah, of course.
728
00:28:28,257 --> 00:28:30,674
Like, and then,
having a baby is another...
729
00:28:30,758 --> 00:28:33,633
- You good?
- Yeah. What is this thing? It's like...
730
00:28:33,716 --> 00:28:36,883
Half-chair, half-couch.
It's a like a furniture centaur.
731
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:38,382
It's a daybed.
732
00:28:38,466 --> 00:28:40,525
I hope... I... I
never want to blame hormones,
733
00:28:40,549 --> 00:28:43,424
'cause then that's just like a
typical overly masculine thing.
734
00:28:43,507 --> 00:28:46,299
- Just sit down!
- Okay.
735
00:28:49,174 --> 00:28:50,591
Oh, shoes okay over there?
736
00:28:50,674 --> 00:28:52,341
I'd rather you didn't.
737
00:28:52,965 --> 00:28:54,174
Thank you.
738
00:28:54,257 --> 00:28:55,591
Let me try that again.
739
00:28:55,674 --> 00:28:57,382
Oh, fuck. Okay.
740
00:28:57,466 --> 00:29:00,090
So, Larry, do you have my watch?
741
00:29:00,174 --> 00:29:02,275
- I'm assuming that's why you came over, yeah?
- Yeah.
742
00:29:02,299 --> 00:29:03,924
So I brought it
into K.I. Jeweler,
743
00:29:04,007 --> 00:29:05,799
like I told you I was going to,
744
00:29:05,883 --> 00:29:07,132
but it's closed up.
745
00:29:07,215 --> 00:29:08,965
A spite store took him
out of business.
746
00:29:09,049 --> 00:29:12,007
- Mila Kunis!
- These stupid spite stores.
747
00:29:12,090 --> 00:29:14,633
Do you at least have it, then,
if you didn't get it fixed?
748
00:29:16,799 --> 00:29:18,132
There you go.
749
00:29:19,507 --> 00:29:21,758
- Larry, what the hell?
- So sorry.
750
00:29:21,841 --> 00:29:23,507
What happened to this watch?
751
00:29:23,591 --> 00:29:28,299
The giant penis of a recent
sex-change recipient
752
00:29:28,382 --> 00:29:30,883
- knocked it off the counter.
- What?
753
00:29:30,965 --> 00:29:33,246
- I'm so sorry.
- I should've never trusted you with this,
754
00:29:33,299 --> 00:29:35,424
but I did. You took it,
and you got it broke.
755
00:29:35,507 --> 00:29:37,692
- That's your fault.
- I'll take 50 percent of the blame.
756
00:29:37,716 --> 00:29:39,215
Fifty percent goes
to that penis.
757
00:29:39,299 --> 00:29:41,591
Larry, this is an
irreplaceable watch.
758
00:29:41,674 --> 00:29:43,692
- Yeah.
- My grandfather gave... Stop squirming! Please!
759
00:29:43,716 --> 00:29:45,983
- Sorry.
- This is my grandfather's watch. I can't replace this.
760
00:29:46,007 --> 00:29:47,633
I was gonna give it to my son.
761
00:29:47,716 --> 00:29:51,049
Just get a comfortable spot
and just stay there.
762
00:29:51,132 --> 00:29:52,424
Okay.
763
00:29:52,507 --> 00:29:53,841
- Oh!
- I'm so sorry.
764
00:29:53,924 --> 00:29:56,215
Oh, my God.
Tara's having the baby.
765
00:29:56,299 --> 00:29:57,716
- What?
- I, I gotta go.
766
00:29:57,799 --> 00:29:59,215
Oh, hey, I'll drive you.
767
00:30:06,507 --> 00:30:09,507
Uh, excuse me.
Hey, uh, pardon me.
768
00:30:09,591 --> 00:30:11,007
My, my wife is having a baby.
769
00:30:11,090 --> 00:30:13,132
- I'm Will Cooper.
- You're the husband. Come.
770
00:30:13,215 --> 00:30:15,507
She's been asking about you.
Everything's fine.
771
00:30:15,591 --> 00:30:17,591
- Okay.
- I'll be here.
772
00:30:17,674 --> 00:30:19,758
- I thought I recognized you.
- Hey, Dr. Fuller.
773
00:30:19,841 --> 00:30:23,299
- How we doing, Larry?
- Pretty good. Pretty good. Oh, my God.
774
00:30:23,382 --> 00:30:24,591
- The knee.
- Yeah?
775
00:30:24,674 --> 00:30:26,090
It's, it's, it's like a miracle.
776
00:30:26,174 --> 00:30:27,299
So just the PT, yeah?
777
00:30:27,382 --> 00:30:29,132
PT. Some massage. Yeah.
778
00:30:29,215 --> 00:30:31,549
- Do you mind if I, I give it a squeeze?
- No, please.
779
00:30:33,049 --> 00:30:36,215
- Yeah, it's just there's no swelling left.
- Yeah. Amazing, right?
780
00:30:36,841 --> 00:30:38,924
Hi. How's it going?
781
00:30:39,007 --> 00:30:40,174
- Oh, boy.
- Oh.
782
00:30:40,257 --> 00:30:41,633
- Hey.
- Um...
783
00:30:41,716 --> 00:30:43,674
- Ben.
- Dr. Fuller.
784
00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:45,965
- I know who it is. Yeah.
- Oh.
785
00:30:46,049 --> 00:30:48,841
- Just getting out of surgery?
- Consultation, actually.
786
00:30:48,924 --> 00:30:50,716
- Oh. Surprising.
- Mm.
787
00:30:51,174 --> 00:30:53,150
What are you doing here, Larry?
Gettin' a third opinion?
788
00:30:53,174 --> 00:30:55,191
- Fuller: Okay.
- Oh, come on. Don't be like that.
789
00:30:55,215 --> 00:30:57,191
- Don't be like what?
- He's getting around great. He's happy.
790
00:30:57,215 --> 00:30:58,983
- Oh, yeah? You feelin' good, Larry?
- Yeah, I'm...
791
00:30:59,007 --> 00:31:00,841
- Knees holding up?
- Yeah, look. You know,
792
00:31:00,924 --> 00:31:03,609
- it's really good. Yeah.
- Look at that. Yeah. We'll see if that lasts.
793
00:31:03,633 --> 00:31:04,841
- Yeah.
- Um...
794
00:31:04,924 --> 00:31:06,591
- Hey. Uh, any of you guys know...
- Yeah.
795
00:31:06,674 --> 00:31:09,174
Where I can get
a, uh, a watch fixed?
796
00:31:09,257 --> 00:31:11,017
Yeah, my brother-in-law
owns a place on Pico.
797
00:31:11,049 --> 00:31:13,483
- Really?
- He's the best in the business. Thirty years' experience.
798
00:31:13,507 --> 00:31:14,758
What do you, what do you think?
799
00:31:14,841 --> 00:31:17,883
- I actually have a guy, too.
- What? What do...
800
00:31:17,965 --> 00:31:20,025
You think this dipshit knows
a better watch repairman.
801
00:31:20,049 --> 00:31:23,174
- It's always so competitive with you.
- 30 years of experience on Pico!
802
00:31:23,257 --> 00:31:24,483
You know a better guy than that?
803
00:31:24,507 --> 00:31:26,067
I know three guys
better than Goldblatt!
804
00:31:26,132 --> 00:31:29,299
- Thirty years on Pico!
- The guy breaks watches for a living!
805
00:31:29,382 --> 00:31:30,799
- What do you know?
- Unbelievable!
806
00:31:30,883 --> 00:31:32,466
He's the best in the business!
807
00:31:32,549 --> 00:31:34,965
Mocha Joe:
You worked for Larry David?
808
00:31:35,591 --> 00:31:37,507
Yeah. Um...
809
00:31:37,591 --> 00:31:39,090
Yeah, for a little bit, and...
810
00:31:39,174 --> 00:31:41,591
You know, he was just
so, like, weird and awful.
811
00:31:41,674 --> 00:31:44,257
He was pervy about... I
have this tattoo here, and...
812
00:31:44,341 --> 00:31:46,581
he would always grab my hand,
and ask me what it meant...
813
00:31:46,633 --> 00:31:49,965
It's just the hand of Buddha,
with the Eye of Providence.
814
00:31:50,633 --> 00:31:52,633
Oh, my gosh. Yeah, exactly.
815
00:31:52,716 --> 00:31:54,924
Yeah, well...
Sorry, I'm just like...
816
00:31:55,007 --> 00:31:56,883
It's all kind of
coming back to me,
817
00:31:56,965 --> 00:32:00,049
'cause I had a bite of his scone,
it was like, crumbly and dry,
818
00:32:00,132 --> 00:32:01,549
and it got caught in my throat.
819
00:32:01,633 --> 00:32:03,049
They're terrible.
That's a scone.
820
00:32:03,132 --> 00:32:05,172
- I can't wait for you to try it.
- Okay.
821
00:32:06,132 --> 00:32:08,174
Oh, my gosh. That's so moist.
822
00:32:08,257 --> 00:32:09,817
- Right? It's supposed to be moist.
- Yeah.
823
00:32:09,841 --> 00:32:11,483
This whole thing with the dry scone,
it drives me crazy.
824
00:32:11,507 --> 00:32:13,341
This is really good.
825
00:32:13,424 --> 00:32:16,424
You think Larry David knows
anything about making a scone like that?
826
00:32:16,507 --> 00:32:18,758
I'm sorry. Uh,
did you say Larry David?
827
00:32:18,841 --> 00:32:20,132
Yeah, why? You know him?
828
00:32:20,215 --> 00:32:22,591
- He's an asshole, right?
- One of the biggest.
829
00:32:22,674 --> 00:32:24,007
Pull up a chair.
830
00:32:25,007 --> 00:32:26,507
So. How do you know Larry?
831
00:32:26,591 --> 00:32:30,215
Uh, from the club. But
we do not get along at all.
832
00:32:30,299 --> 00:32:31,716
Welcome aboard.
833
00:32:31,799 --> 00:32:33,674
- Oh, my God.
- What's wrong?
834
00:32:33,758 --> 00:32:37,174
I just remembered I was gonna
sue him for sexual harassment.
835
00:32:37,257 --> 00:32:39,174
What?
836
00:32:41,007 --> 00:32:43,174
He's perfect.
837
00:32:43,257 --> 00:32:45,007
- He's absolutely...
- He's so...
838
00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:46,758
Hey, hey, hey.
839
00:32:46,841 --> 00:32:48,633
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Hey.
840
00:32:48,716 --> 00:32:51,132
Look, aw, look at...
This is so exciting!
841
00:32:51,215 --> 00:32:53,466
- Larry, uh, drove me.
- Oh.
842
00:32:53,549 --> 00:32:55,799
He was a complete mess.
He never would have made it.
843
00:32:55,883 --> 00:32:58,400
- Thank you for driving me.
- Thank you. We appreciate that. Thank you.
844
00:32:58,424 --> 00:33:00,132
Yeah. Very cute.
845
00:33:00,215 --> 00:33:01,650
- Oh, thank you.
- What's his name?
846
00:33:01,674 --> 00:33:03,299
- It's Kwame.
- It's Kwame.
847
00:33:03,382 --> 00:33:04,466
- Kwame.
- Mm-hmm.
848
00:33:04,549 --> 00:33:05,424
Nice name.
849
00:33:05,507 --> 00:33:06,799
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
850
00:33:06,883 --> 00:33:08,090
- I think so, too.
- Yeah.
851
00:33:08,174 --> 00:33:10,841
A little... A little light for a Kwame,
no?
852
00:33:10,924 --> 00:33:13,174
- What?
- A lot of names to pick, but...
853
00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:14,674
If he was a little
darker, maybe.
854
00:33:14,758 --> 00:33:17,049
- Yeah, can you go, please?
- You need to get out.
855
00:33:17,132 --> 00:33:19,716
Thanks. Thank you for... Shh, shh!
856
00:33:20,466 --> 00:33:22,299
Hey, any of you guys
want ginger ale?
857
00:33:22,382 --> 00:33:24,262
- Larry, get the fuck out.
- Got it.
858
00:33:25,341 --> 00:33:27,633
You guys have a good night.
859
00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:30,591
You know, if you wanna take off,
I can close up.
860
00:33:30,674 --> 00:33:31,883
- Really?
- Yeah.
861
00:33:31,965 --> 00:33:34,174
- You know how to do it?
- Yeah. Charge the cups,
862
00:33:34,257 --> 00:33:36,007
turn off the lights,
lock the doors.
863
00:33:36,090 --> 00:33:38,549
That's the one I always forget.
Lock the fuckin' door.
864
00:33:38,633 --> 00:33:40,775
Hey. We
got that big johnson meeting tomorrow.
865
00:33:40,799 --> 00:33:42,633
- Okay. Thanks.
- Don't forget.
866
00:33:46,591 --> 00:33:49,549
Pfft.
867
00:34:25,299 --> 00:34:27,841
Oh.
868
00:34:28,633 --> 00:34:32,007
Oh. Oh, really?
869
00:34:32,090 --> 00:34:35,507
I'm on to you.
It's not gonna happen.
870
00:34:39,466 --> 00:34:42,090
Abuse that siren all you want.
I'm not pulling over.
871
00:34:52,090 --> 00:34:54,299
You guys make me sick!
872
00:35:08,049 --> 00:35:11,299
Yeah, uh-huh.
873
00:35:14,883 --> 00:35:17,341
Good luck! Enjoy the coffee!
874
00:35:24,049 --> 00:35:26,382
Fireman:
Get a line on that fire!
875
00:35:28,090 --> 00:35:30,591
Excuse me, sir. You can't
be this close. It's not safe.
876
00:35:30,674 --> 00:35:32,257
No, no. It's my store!
877
00:35:32,341 --> 00:35:34,483
- Oh, jeez, I'm sorry.
- What the hell? What, what happened?
878
00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:36,841
We won't know until we've
got it under containment.
879
00:35:36,924 --> 00:35:39,049
I just wish we would have
gotten here sooner.
880
00:35:39,132 --> 00:35:41,799
Some asshole didn't
respect the siren.
881
00:35:41,883 --> 00:35:45,090
Hey! Let's get a ladder up
and ventilate the roof.
882
00:35:46,174 --> 00:35:49,132
Mocha Joe:
No! No! What happened?
883
00:35:49,215 --> 00:35:50,299
Mocha Joe's!
884
00:35:50,382 --> 00:35:51,900
- What did you do?
- I didn't do anything.
885
00:35:51,924 --> 00:35:53,859
- What did you do?
- Hey, look, my store's burning, too!
886
00:35:53,883 --> 00:35:55,775
What do you think I did? You
think I burned my store down?
887
00:35:55,799 --> 00:35:57,025
First you open up a spite store,
888
00:35:57,049 --> 00:35:59,132
and then you burn
my store down? Huh?
889
00:35:59,215 --> 00:36:00,507
I'm gonna sue you.
890
00:36:00,591 --> 00:36:02,799
I'm gonna sue you
for everything you got.
891
00:36:02,883 --> 00:36:04,609
When I get through with you,
you'll be broke!
892
00:36:04,633 --> 00:36:07,191
- But I didn't do it!
- Oh, I don't give a shit if you did it or not!
893
00:36:07,215 --> 00:36:10,174
We'll let the judge decide!
You hear me?
894
00:36:20,758 --> 00:36:22,674
Sorry about your place.
895
00:36:22,758 --> 00:36:24,716
Unbelievable, huh?
896
00:36:24,799 --> 00:36:26,215
We did the best we could.
897
00:36:26,299 --> 00:36:27,841
Tried to break
one of the windows out,
898
00:36:27,924 --> 00:36:29,324
get some more hoses
in there, but...
899
00:36:29,382 --> 00:36:30,942
all the tables were bolted
to the floor.
900
00:36:31,007 --> 00:36:33,341
Yeah, that's to prevent
the table from wobbling.
901
00:36:33,424 --> 00:36:34,965
Oh, you, you did that yourself?
902
00:36:35,049 --> 00:36:36,591
Yeah, I don't like
wobbly tables.
903
00:36:36,674 --> 00:36:38,299
And you had Purell
on every table,
904
00:36:38,382 --> 00:36:39,591
which is an accelerant.
905
00:36:39,674 --> 00:36:41,591
People love the Purell.
906
00:36:41,674 --> 00:36:43,382
And the tables that
didn't wobble.
907
00:36:43,466 --> 00:36:44,883
Normally in this situation,
908
00:36:44,965 --> 00:36:47,674
if we can't break the windows
to get more hoses in,
909
00:36:47,758 --> 00:36:49,382
we'd access the water
from the toilets,
910
00:36:49,466 --> 00:36:50,924
but we couldn't find them.
911
00:36:51,007 --> 00:36:53,257
- Yeah, there are no toilets.
- What?
912
00:36:53,341 --> 00:36:55,257
Coffee's a diuretic,
and you don't have toilets?
913
00:36:55,341 --> 00:36:57,591
Yeah, I didn't want any
defecating in the store.
914
00:36:57,674 --> 00:36:58,799
We had urinals.
915
00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:00,591
Where? I looked in there.
916
00:37:00,674 --> 00:37:03,215
Oh, no. You gotta press the
button. That opens up a chute.
917
00:37:03,299 --> 00:37:05,758
- What, like a secret compartment?
- Yeah, kinda.
918
00:37:05,841 --> 00:37:08,841
And, uh, the ladies,
they, they hang from a bar.
919
00:37:09,382 --> 00:37:11,924
- Yeah.
- I don't get it. I don't get anything with this place.
920
00:37:12,007 --> 00:37:13,841
Any idea how this started?
921
00:37:13,924 --> 00:37:16,466
Yeah, it looks like it started
in the storeroom.
922
00:37:16,549 --> 00:37:20,132
Someone knocked one of these
self-heating cups off a shelf,
923
00:37:20,215 --> 00:37:22,716
it hit some papers, turned on,
924
00:37:22,799 --> 00:37:25,132
heated up and
ignited the papers.
925
00:37:26,965 --> 00:37:28,174
Joey.
926
00:37:29,049 --> 00:37:32,049
I knew that big penis
was nothing but trouble.
927
00:37:32,132 --> 00:37:33,507
I'm sorry, what?
928
00:37:33,591 --> 00:37:36,174
I knew that big penis
was nothing but trouble.
929
00:37:36,257 --> 00:37:37,525
Okay, I guess I heard
what you said.
930
00:37:37,549 --> 00:37:39,132
I don't know what
you're talking about.
931
00:37:39,215 --> 00:37:41,424
Nah, it's a long story.
932
00:37:41,507 --> 00:37:45,382
Anyway, if I was trying to tell
someone how to burn a place down,
933
00:37:45,466 --> 00:37:48,799
I would suggest every step
you took in your business.
934
00:37:48,883 --> 00:37:51,424
So they're probably
gonna investigate you.
935
00:37:51,507 --> 00:37:54,549
You did so many stupid things,
it looks like arson.
936
00:37:54,633 --> 00:37:56,174
Arson?
937
00:38:27,549 --> 00:38:30,299
Hey,
Larry! Look! It's Larry David!
938
00:38:30,382 --> 00:38:31,674
Hi, Larry.
939
00:38:31,758 --> 00:38:32,775
I'm glad you're here.
940
00:38:32,799 --> 00:38:33,983
You know, we never got a chance
941
00:38:34,007 --> 00:38:35,025
to thank you for the house.
942
00:38:35,049 --> 00:38:36,716
I mean, we love it.
We really do.
943
00:38:36,799 --> 00:38:38,799
I mean, if it wasn't
for the insurance money,
944
00:38:38,883 --> 00:38:41,341
- and the lawsuit settlements...
- Hey, you know what?
945
00:38:41,424 --> 00:38:43,424
It's customary when
people have a party
946
00:38:43,507 --> 00:38:45,466
to inform your neighbors
as a courtesy.
947
00:38:45,549 --> 00:38:48,090
Right,
right. You're 100 percent right. I'm sorry.
948
00:38:48,174 --> 00:38:50,633
Hey, Larry.
We're having a party.
949
00:38:50,716 --> 00:38:52,965
- Oh, we're having one next week, too.
- That's right.
950
00:38:53,049 --> 00:38:55,525
- What are we having? What are we having?
- We're having a luau.
951
00:38:55,549 --> 00:38:57,317
- A luau!
- Isn't that right, Bogie?
952
00:38:57,341 --> 00:39:01,174
You know why? Because
that's what spite houses are for!
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