All language subtitles for Black Monday 2x03 - Idiot Inside (English)

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- www.addic7ed.com -

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Previously on Black Monday...

Don't you want revenge
on all those people

who fucked you over?
I mean, Dawn and Blair...

me.

FBI!

What the fuck, Connie? Huh?

I told you, I got you.

Nah, man, my plan is to
disappear to the Maldives.

It's basically Kokomo.

Happiest I've ever been in my life.

The reason that I came
is, I'm worried about you.

So 800K is supposed to make
me completely forget the fact

that you fucked me over?

I got a crew now called the Cabana Boys.

- Thanks, boss.
- We move a lot of weight.

- Thanks, boss.
- Randy kind of launched off the pier

with my entire stash in his backpack.

And now I owe $1 million

to the most violent cartel in Miami.

I'm a fucking dead man.

Fuck that shit, Keith.

Tell me everything you
know about this cartel.

Six, zero. Check up.

Ah! Hey!

- Fellas.
- Hey, Uncle Ro.

- What's up, Ro?
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- Oop me.
- All right.

Oh, shit.

Sorry about the garage.

I mean, I think I
dented the Cressida too.

Please, Ro, I'm pretty sure
you bought us that garage door.

The one before it was a bead curtain.

Oh, yeah, I remember that thing

looked like a two-car psychic's office.

My bike kept getting fucking stolen.

Yeah, 'cause you guys got
some shitty ass neighbors.

Hey, you watch your language.

Sorry.

Hey, Mom, can we go
inside and play Nintendo?

Yeah, get the fuck out of here.

- Ro!
- I mean, whatever she says.

Yes, boys. Go ahead.

- See a lot of Charles in them.
- Yeah, tell me about it.

They don't listen to anyone, either.

Except you.

They've loved having you around.

Oh, I love being around.

You've done a great
job with them, really.

I certainly couldn't have done it

without your help all these years.

Yeah, about that.

Uh, sorry if I've been
a little light lately.

You know, I'm kind of going
through a minor career change.

- You know.
- Oh, we're good.

I promise.

Well, okay.

Oh, look what I found.

- Oh, my God.
- Look at you.

Look at Charles. Man.

Yeah. I really miss him.

At least when you got out of prison,

you stayed out.

You made good.

Yeah, yeah.

Charles only got out long enough

to not pull out twice.

- Oh.
- Uh-oh.

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go.

- Same time next week?
- Oh, I wouldn't miss it.

Okay.

Please, Uncle Hugh.

I thought we were gonna
go to Disney World.

I want to ride Dumbo.

We just got to make a quick stop, kiddo.

Rides cost money, honey.

Hey, girls.

Want to make a deposit?

That doesn't even make sense.

You'd be the one making the deposit.

And ew.

How many times do I have to tell you?

El Sastre is not someone
you negotiate with.

El Sastre is el loco.

Oh, no, no, I think El Loco
deals out of El Segundo,

not to be confused with
El Diablo from El Salvador.

Now, the real El you got to worry about,

whoo, Ron Hubbard, 'cause
that guy is out of his...

Are you fucking going
on a pun run right now?

Okay, El Sastre is loco, okay?

Crazy. He's a fucking psycho.

Oh, really? Sounds like a fucking pussy.

You know that sastre
means "tailor" in Spanish?

Yeah, 'cause he invented

- the Colombian necktie.
- So what?

Diane von Furstenberg
invented the wrap dress,

and she's got bird bone's disease.

Just snap her neck like that.

Colombian necktie is when
they slit your throat,

and they pull your
tongue through the hole.

- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.

He also invented the Colombian bow tie,

the Colombian "cumberbund"...

I think it's cummerbund.

And something called the
Colombian Daisy Dukes,

which I think is scrotum-related.

Oh, well, you should have
worried about your sack

before you let a shark
snarf your stash, Keith.

Listen, you just need to trust me, okay?

And maybe say thank you.

Okay, cool, totally. You're right.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

It's very gracious of you,
and I really appreciate you

putting your ass out on the line for me.

Yeah, you're my best friend.
What else am I gonna do, right?

Really?

That actually helps a lot, you know?

'Cause I'm kind of
walking in here with, like,

way less money than we actually owe.

It just would maybe help
me if I actually knew

the part I was playing.

- Oh, your part.
- Yeah.

Okay.

You play a coquettish young man

who's just whisked in from the coast.

I mean, what the fuck are
you talking... your part?

What is this, Starlight Express?

- I wish.
- Shut the fuck up, Dave.

Listen, your part is dumb
bald fuck number one.

Ah, and lookee here.
Dumb bald fuck number two.

- Lou!
- Gentlemen. How are you?

I believe I have something for you.

- Oh!
- Keep that down.

Okay, uh, you guys are all set.

- Thank you.
- Enjoy.

So, um, how long do you think
this whole thing is gonna take?

- Oh, you got plans?
- Well, if you must know...

Jesus, are you crazy?

Keith, you could die in here.

We're negotiating for your life.

Okay, you're the one who just
told me to chill, all right?

You're the one that said
trust you, and I do trust you.

I trust you so much that I assume

that at the end of this,
I will be alive enough

to take Randy to the
foot and ankle clinic.

Okay, all right, just
follow my lead, all right?

When I say, "Kick", you say, "How high?"

It's not Rockette science, K-man.

Okay, okay.

I'm gonna die in this room.

God, you have got to relax, Keith.

Jesus, this is a
public place, all right?

Bank manager's in my pocket.

Anything goes sideways,

the cops are gonna be
here inside of two minutes.

You see, I knew this
was too good to be true.

I should have known that any day,

the other skate was gonna drop.

You know, just as I was finally starting

to be happy, right?

Thriving small business,

sex with a gender that
I'm actually attracted to.

Sure, my family hates me,

so there's a little
chicken left on that bone,

but I have a new family, you know,

with Dave and Andrusha and
Randy and Zach and Skids and...

you.

Maybe I don't deserve to be happy.

- No.
- Yeah.

I hurt a lot of people, Twan.

No, you definitely don't
deserve to be happy.

I'm saying no.

Don't sit on that side
of the fucking table.

- We're sitting on this side.
- But you always say face the door

for all the good chi and shit.

No, it's so I don't get
shot in the fucking back.

But today we're sitting here. Come on.

I'm gonna die in this room.

It is a distinct possibility.

Can I have a nickel
for the gumball machine?

- Please?
- Oh, no change, sweetheart.

Oh, here's a nickel, little miss.

Heck, here's another one
in case you get a white.

Thanks.

Come right back when you're done.

That was, um, thoughtful. Thank you.

Ten cents for a smile is a bargain.

- El Sastre...
- What the fuck?

I just wanted to offer
you a heartfelt and full...

- What did I say, Keith?
- You weren't leading.

_

Does anyone speak Spanish?

_

_

_

Shut up.

_

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_

_

_

I don't mean to interrupt,
but you can keep the bag too,

free of charge.

Next.

Not so fast, honey.
Could you give me a hand?

I got a weak ticker.

_

_

Sir? Next.

Next.

_

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_

_

_

_

_

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A white? Aw, come on.

_

_

- You may kill them.
- I knew he spoke English!

What? That's your fucking
takeaway from that?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy, okay?

We're not short, okay? We're not short.

_

Just let me explain, okay?

You have un minuto.

Okay.

So Keith tells me that you
pay a rate of 60 percent tax

to wash your cash.

So you make a million,
you're taking home 400K.

That's kind of dogshit, right?

Now, if our money
were laundered at, say,

like, a decent 25 percent,

our 800 thou would still beat
the shit out of your millie.

Comprende?

- No?
- Keep talking.

You're running out of fucking time.

Look, fuck this shit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I'm just pulling out my Toblerone.

What the fuck is up
with you and Toblerone?

- You fucking sponsored now?
- Will you just trust me?

_

I understood that. Not nice.

You guys seem like
visual learners, okay?

So, uh, listen. I mean, watch.

Little magic trick.

This is your million.
This is our 800 thou.

Now, let's tax your
million 60 percent. Okay?

Then we'll tax the 800 thou 25 percent.

You don't have to
fucking eat the pieces!

Will you let me do
what the fuck I'm doing?

So you tell me.

Would you rather have your
million minus 60 percent,

or our 800 thou minus 25 percent?

Pretty simple, right?

In short, gentlemen, we're not short.

In fact, you're short.

You owe us a couple hundred grand.

One triangle, but we'll
just call it a late fee.

So, uh, one triangle make us square?

That's your magic trick?

Making chocolate disappear?

_

We're the Cauca Cartel.

You think we don't know
less tax is better than more?

Finding a way to get that 25 percent,

that is the real trick.

Well then, gentlemen,

please allow me to introduce
my favorite magician.

His name, Lou Dinowitz.

His friends call him Jewdini.

Hey, L... you're right there!

Twany, Twany, Twany!

- Come on in, Lou.
- Bienvenidos...

My honored guests.

- All right.
- They're a little touchy.

They're a little touchy.
Okay, okay, you know what?

Why don't you tell them about
your really special service?

Love to, but first,

can I interest you muchachos
in some nose tacos?

- My shoe's untied.
- Oh, fuck me.

Lou, okay, there's gonna
be time for that, Lou.

Come on. Come on.

Tell them about your
laundromat services.

Oh, all right. Easy peasy.

Uh, we take your dirty dollars,

fluff and fold them till
they're clean, spic...

And span.

Of course, a few socks
are going to get, you know,

lost in the dryer, say, uh, 25 percento.

No problemo?

How?

How do you make it, uh, how you say,

spic-and-span?

How.

Big Chief Bogot� over
here wants to know how.

Let me tell you a story, Chief.

Don't do that.

Heck, that's a lot of change, ma'am.

How long did it take to save up?

I don't save. I dredge.

You know the fountain beside
the pediatric cancer ward?

Well, lots of sick kiddies

mean lots of scratchers for Mona.

There once was a little boy
who would park his daddy's car

when Daddy was a little too
blasted on big boy juice.

Now, that little boy grew up

to become a big boy bank manager, right?

And he realized he could take money

and park that too.

- Park it in parking lots.
- Okay.

It's not funny, Twan. Seriously.

Parking lots are big business.

I mean, it's all cash.

They don't call them parking littles.

Am I right?

Yeah.

Oh, and that adorable
little boy who grew up

to become a bank
manager, that boy was...

- Uh-huh.
- Killed.

Uh, mob hit.

I think it was you guys, actually.

Pretty awful. Um, but hey.

The branch had to promote someone.

Yours truly.

And a good idea's a good idea,

am I right?

So here we are!

My shoe's untied.

Lou...

So.

Do we have a deal?

Bueno. Deal.

- Bueno.
- Bueno?

- Bueno is good.
- That's good!

- Let's do this!
- Yes, yes!

Mo, you did it!

Hey, all right.

So I got some champagne chilling.

I'ma go grab it, and
we can toast this shit.

Back in a jiff.

We'll have the first ten
million to you next week

and ten more every week after that.

- That's great.
- Whoa, whoa.

- Ten mil? A week?
- Mm-hmm.

I can't wash all that.

I mean, not for 25%.

- What do you mean?
- Yeah, what do you mean?

What do you mean?

Well, they might call me Jewdini,

but even Houdini drowned

when he swallowed more
than he could drink.

Okay. _

What the fuck is wrong with you?

- You said you could handle this.
- I can.

This is our chance to retire, baby.

I'm already retired, Lou.

Excuse me. What the fuck is going on?

Uh, what's going on is
these fucking savages

don't know their ass
from a hole in their butt.

We're gonna be printing
millie dollar billies, baby.

You're gonna get us
all fucking killed, Lou.

- We already won.
- Hey! _

One second. Lo siento.

Listen, Bootsy.

You're just a bass player, all right?

Why don't you let the bank manager

manage the negotiations?

- I am going to close this.
- No, you're not.

- I'm gonna cl...
- Sorry.

We were just doing a little
bit of math over there.

Uh, good news is that ten mil a week,

totally doable, no problemo.

- No problemo.
- We can do it.

You can do this. You-you-you...

I believe in you.

Bad news is that you're
gonna lose a few more socks.

I mean, I can't do this
deal for a penny under

60 percent.

_

Drop your fucking guns!

You drop your fucking guns!

Don't read that. It's private.

Lou, tell these guys

you can do it at 25 percent,

you fucking asshole!

Yeah, tell them you were
joking, you silly fuck!

Now I see what I did.

My-my math was off.

- I-I forgot to carry the "Juan"!
- _

I may have overplayed my hand.

- Oh, you think so, you idiot?
- _

- What'd he say?
- Nothing, nothing!

- Just fucking focus.
- I knew it!

You're fucking him?

God damn it, Keith! How could you?

Dave, it was after we stopped

- but before we started again, okay?
- _

Are you kidding me?

It's not the time for this right now!

Drop your fucking guns! Last warning!

Uncle Hugh! I'm missing all the rides.

- Can we go already?
- I said not yet!

Ow! I want to go home.

I knew we were gonna
die in this fucking room.

Oh, come on! Let's just talk about this!

- Please!
- Can I please tie my shoes one last time?

Dude, come on.

_

Holy shit!

Okay.

Go back, go back.

_

_

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, yeah. Okay.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no!

What? What the fuck?

- This is your plan?
- No, no.

This is kind of like,
uh... like an audible.

Yeah, my plan was to
hit that alarm button,

and the cops were gonna
come flooding in there

and take you guys all
down for money laundering.

Figured that putting the cartel away

would take care of
your problems with them

and putting you away

would take care of my problems
with you, but the whole thing

just kind of got away
from me a little bit.

- No shit, yeah.
- Yeah.

I mean, you know, Lou with the coke.

- That was insane.
- Fucking knew it.

You take the cash, you
go back to Wall Street,

you build your stack...

Take revenge on Dawn and Blair.

No, this kind of gets me all
the revenge I need, Keith.

Yeah, I'm out.

I told you, man. I'm done.

Fucking tired. I'm going to Kokomo.

You're gonna leave me here?

After I fucking left
my entire life behind

to make sure that we were okay?

Your entire life? Are you crazy?

You were about to jump off
a fucking building, Keith.

Well, either way, I fucking
came down here to help you

like I always do.

'Cause I'm the only
friend you fucking have.

Yeah, my only friend who's
the fucking only reason

I'm in this fucking
mess in the first place.

- You fucked me, Keith.
- Oh, fine.

- You fucked me.
- I fucked you.

We had some fun, though, didn't we?

Yeah, we did.

We were free.

I loved the way you played that bass.

Hey.

And who knew you could skate so well?

Hey, you know, I got talents.

Yeah.

That's my cue.

Sorry it's got to be this way, Keith.

No, no, no, no, it doesn't. It doesn't.

'Cause you can let me the fuck out.

Let me the fuck out, Mo. Come on, Mo.

Come on, Mo. Come on.

Love you, K-man.

Fuck you, Mo! Fuck you!

Hey!

Mo!

Ah!

Shit!

Ow, fuck!

- Why is everything fucking steel in here?
- _

_

_

_

I told him.

The chocolate man's mine.

Hey, muchacho.

Go to a goddamn meeting, Lou.

I'm cool.

Holy shit.

Yeah. Where the fuck were you?

Obviously you're fired.

Ugh... Ugh.

Oh, Jesus. You scared
the shit out of me.

Sorry.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, you just, uh, getting
off work or something?

Yeah, just got off.

I had to do OT for this bank thing.

- Oh.
- Did you hear about that?

No, no, I didn't, uh... no.

Oh. Well, did you forget your keys?

No, no, no, I was just
in the neighborhood,

but now I got to... I got to take off.

- Bummer, right?
- Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

You sure you don't want to
say... say hi to the boys?

No, no, I would, but I got a...

you know, I just got to
get to this gig, so...

Okay, right.

Well, I'll see you
later this week, then.

Bobby's Little League thing.

Yes, I would not miss that.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

He's getting really good, isn't he?

Yeah, he got a lot
better playing with you.

Yeah.

He used to just strike out,

and now he strikes out,

curses the ump's mama all to hell.

So cute.

My legacy.

Yeah, I'm, uh...

I'm really proud to have, you know...

yeah.

It's not on you.

What?

Charles, the Panthers,

it's all on that undercover FBI bitch.

No, I know that. I know.

I just... why are we being all dramatic?

I mean, I'm gonna see
you at the game, you know?

Right, yeah.

See you then.

Yeah, I-I'll see you then.

_

- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -