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1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,916
Just come, Nick. Why not?
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,180
Angie and I are not
romantic weekend types.
3
00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:08,704
Sounds like you need
some fresh air in a cabin
4
00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:10,488
[blows raspberry]You're dating a stripper.
5
00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:12,055
I'm dating a tall,
handsome doctor.
6
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:14,275
We're both kind
of living the dream.
7
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:15,276
We're not "dating."
8
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,233
What Angie and I have together
9
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,148
is pure anarchy
10
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:20,063
in like, a sexy, cool way.
11
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:22,065
Oh, yeah?Look at what she did
while I was sleeping.
12
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,414
Look at how cool that is.
13
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,199
She doodled on your armpit?
14
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,157
It's not a doodle, it's a tat.Of poodle hair?
15
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:28,724
It's not poodle hair.
It's like the, uh...
16
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,205
Anyway, no to the cabin.
17
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,294
All right.And why do you want us to come
18
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,773
on your romantic weekend anyhow?
19
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:36,297
I thought it was just supposed
to be you and the doctor.
20
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,081
Okay, I'm a little nervous.
21
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,213
I just need backup.
22
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,431
I want this weekend to be fun
23
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:42,781
and perfect
24
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:45,523
and lovely, and I want him
to look at me at the end and go,
25
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:48,091
"Jess, that was the best weekend
I ever had."
26
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,137
I'm glad you're keeping
your expectations at
a reasonable level.
27
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,790
Come on, it'll be fun.
28
00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:53,227
Roast marshmallows,
Yeah.
29
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,272
make a fire,
Oh, yeah.
30
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:56,143
and sleep on a bear rug.
31
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,275
You in?
Ooh, no.
32
00:00:58,319 --> 00:00:59,798
Jess, I'm sorry.
We're not going
33
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,104
this weekend.All right.
34
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,149
But it's free.
35
00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:03,280
You say free?
Yep.
36
00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:04,586
Yeah, we're 100% in.
37
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,109
I'll go pack now.
Okay.
38
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,155
♪ Who's that girl?
39
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,287
♪ Who's that girl?♪♪ It's Jess.
40
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,291
[whistles]
41
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:17,947
Oh, wait, wait, wait,
keep this in mind, right?
42
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,688
Now, I have a spatula in
my hand the entire time,
43
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:22,125
and I'm looking her directly
in the eye, and I say,
44
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,300
"You're damn right
I want some cake."
45
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,172
[laughter]Kind of weird.
46
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,825
Hey, what's up?
Guys, this is Schmidt.
47
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:27,826
SCHMIDT:
Hey.
48
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,045
Ready to go?
49
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,307
Yeah, no, let's do it.
50
00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:31,308
It's nice meeting you all.
51
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,484
Hey, uh, Winston,
52
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,312
who are those guys?
53
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:36,922
I don't know, I just met them
on the way to the bathroom.
54
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,315
But you were so light
and charming.
55
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:39,316
You were like Pixar Winston.
56
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,839
Yeah, we were
just chilling, man,
57
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,319
just having a conversation.
58
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:43,320
We can stay, if you want.
59
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:44,147
No, Schmidt,
I don't want to stay.
60
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,627
I want to eat.
61
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,629
Come on, man.
62
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,329
White Nick, brown Cece.
63
00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:54,853
I'd like to have
a frank discussion about race.
64
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:56,551
[groans]Do you think that we're
65
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,640
allowing Winston
to be his blackest self?
66
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,990
I'm not gonna do this.Okay, make sure Jess
gets these, okay?
67
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,034
Guys, please, I'm being serious.
68
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:03,210
Okay, Schmidty,
69
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:04,559
I know that you're
being serious,
70
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:08,171
but look, Winston has been black
his entire life.
71
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,825
I think he knows how
to handle it.
72
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,305
We were out
the other night for drinks,
73
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:15,309
and well, he encountered
some members of his own,
74
00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:17,224
and you should have seen
the way that he lit up.
75
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:20,183
I mean, he was like
a glow stick.
76
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,272
This is terrible.Whatever you were gonna
do, please do not.
77
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:23,969
Just don't do it.I want to create
78
00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:26,233
an environment within this loft
where Winston feels free,
79
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:28,235
where the gates are open.
Let's let Winston
80
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:30,628
turn on his-his black switch
81
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,848
and let his black light shine.
82
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,807
JESS:
This is perfect.
83
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,853
Yes, it is a weekend
in the woods.
84
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:39,594
I'm just glad that we get
to spend some time together.
85
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,725
Yeah.
86
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:44,381
Hey.
87
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,339
Yeah!
88
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:46,905
Oh, look, it's Jackie O.
89
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,907
Me? All right, thanks.Yeah, you.
90
00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:51,345
Sorry we're late. I had to stop
and buy this bitch-ass a helmet.
91
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,216
because he wouldn't
stop being a bitch-ass.
92
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,913
The helmet we got
at a rest stop,
93
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,350
the shades are mine.
94
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:57,351
[laughter]Yeah.
95
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,614
Free cabin! Whoo!
96
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,224
It's actually
my boss's cabin.
97
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:04,140
That's great! Whoo!Yeah! USA, USA!
98
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:08,362
Indian food, dinner? You down?
99
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:09,841
I thought maybe
we'd eat at a place
100
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,582
where you wanted to eat
at tonight, Winston.
101
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:14,455
As a strong black man.
102
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,847
What?
What are you talking about?
103
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,414
Hey, man, I get it.
104
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,024
There are just some nights
where I'm dying
105
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,461
for my zadie's egg salad,
106
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:23,246
pastrami piled a mile high,
107
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,335
some matzo, kreplach...
108
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,163
Let's eat some soul food.
109
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,817
Schmidt, I want Indian,
southern Indian.
110
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,210
Also, I got you something.
111
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:39,262
Jah rastafari.Take this damn
thing off my head.
112
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,743
Okay, I'm sorry.
You're right.
113
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:43,440
Forget the hat.
Just, I made a mistake.
114
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,441
I just...
115
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,703
[sighs]
116
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,401
Winston, tonight is about you.
117
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,881
I want to be the black friend
that you never had.
118
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,448
I have black friends, Schmidt.
119
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:52,319
I want you to feel supported.
120
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,321
I want you to be able
to do
121
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:56,236
the things that you don't feel
like I understand.
122
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:01,066
Okay. So that means
you're gonna do
123
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,895
whatever I say?
I mean,
as long as it's gangster.
124
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,941
Or not. It doesn't have
to be gangster.Well, Schmidt,
125
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,073
I want to say thank you
for allowing me to be me
126
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,292
and I look forward to sharing
127
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,511
my people's culture
with you tonight.
128
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:15,298
I've never played
sexy Boggle before.
129
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:18,997
I'm gonna get into that later.
130
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,085
Ow-ooh!
131
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,174
Oops. Okay.
132
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:23,480
Hey, guys.
133
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:26,178
Sorry, we were just unpacking.
134
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,398
We could hear very clearly.
Very clearly.
135
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,747
Hey, you got
a high-pitched scream, man.
136
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,401
Yeah, I do.
137
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,447
So, you guys, we are
playing best of 35,
138
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,579
um, 'cause I thought you guys
139
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:36,928
were gonna hang out with us.
140
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,887
Oh.
SAM:
Oh, Angie,
141
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,410
this is my boss's cabin.
142
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,455
[yelling]
143
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,152
Oh! This is it!
144
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:45,154
Where were these
when we were having sex?
145
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,417
That's how I feel. What?
146
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:48,549
Let's go shoot things.Yeah.
147
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,464
Okay.Not scared.
148
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:53,554
Just be careful, please.Good, yep.
149
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:54,555
[outside, yelling happily][muffled]: Yeah!
150
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:56,252
All right, well...
[clears throat]
151
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,341
That's all right.
Sam,
are you having fun?
152
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,561
'Cause I really, really
want you to have fun.
153
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,432
Course I am.
I'm here with you.
Good.
154
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:03,390
You know?
Okay, good.
155
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,478
[gunshot]Drink hot cocoa.
156
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:05,435
It's not much fun
157
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,523
without someone firing back.
158
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:09,439
You're amazing!
159
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,354
ANGIE:
Wow!
160
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:12,616
That is not safe.
161
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,619
[gunfire continues]That is really reckless.
162
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:19,057
You want to shoot guns,
don't you?
163
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,624
[gunfire continues]
164
00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:22,452
Go on.
165
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,541
Guys, guys!
Save a bullet!
166
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:30,025
Could be a little bit closer.
167
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,291
Got to be kidding me.
168
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,466
How do you keep missing?
169
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,555
Come on!
170
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:39,556
Hey, guys.Hey.
171
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,558
Hey.No gun safety for us, right?
172
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,473
Want to shoot?No, no, no, do not
173
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,432
give her a gun. She cannot
handle having a gun, trust me.
174
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:48,522
All right, you know what,
yeah, give me the boom stick.
175
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,306
The what?It's not called a boom stick.
It's a rifle. So...
176
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,568
What? Give me the rifle.
177
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:52,569
Oh, right.
178
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,530
Whoa, yeah, you know what?
179
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,270
I feel powerful.
180
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,576
Whoa! Come on now!
181
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:00,664
Come on! Hey!
182
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:01,796
Okay, all right.
183
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,406
Nobody better piss me off.Hey! Jess!
184
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,581
Hey!Jess, thanks.
185
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:05,800
NICK:
Are you nuts?
186
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,454
ANGIE:
Here, all right,
see that can?
Yep.
187
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:08,759
All right.But I need like, a back story.
188
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,761
Like, why am I mad at the can?
189
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:13,547
That can is your
ex-boyfriend, and, uh,
190
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:16,637
he did not
respect your space
191
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,596
and, um, thought that
your arts and crafts
192
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,424
What?
section of your
house was ridiculous.
193
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,034
And, right, done? Enough?Yeah. No. Yeah.
194
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:25,820
Yeah.Let me just square
your hips right there.
195
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,604
All right,
196
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:28,562
center your... there you go.
197
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,346
Now let me just move your hair.
198
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,653
It's so pretty, really curly.Thanks.
199
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,089
Fantasy
and nightmare colliding.
200
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,612
Take a deep breath.
201
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,662
Congrats.
202
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:42,576
We have no power.
203
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:43,664
Uh...
204
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,317
I'm just gonna...
205
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:46,884
Whoa! Jess, that's it.
Let go of the rifle.
206
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,495
I mean it; you're done.
You're done.
207
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:53,456
SAM:
Jess, I'm having a great time.
208
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,066
Oh, yeah, I'm so mad
at you right now.
209
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,155
Guys, I think that this
just turned into an adventure.
210
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,592
Look what I found
in the owner's closet.
211
00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,593
Yes!
212
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:00,855
Thank you so much.
213
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,247
You rule.
This is good stuff.
214
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,293
See, making the best
of the night. Sweaters.
215
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:05,903
A little mothy.
216
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:08,253
Look what else I found
in the owner's closet.
What?
217
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:10,386
Crème de menthe, guys.
218
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,648
Oh, get in here, girl.
219
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:12,475
Oh, body warmth.
220
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,259
Take a pull.
221
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,957
Ooh, yeah, pass her over.
222
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,480
Ooh, that's...Yeah.
223
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,134
That is not
crème de menthe.
224
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:21,484
That is, uh, the green fairy
right there.
225
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:22,485
It's absinthe.
226
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:23,660
Yeah, it's absinthe.
227
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:24,487
Absinthe?
228
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:25,662
Absinthe...Nice.
229
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,534
has killed so many
230
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,274
of our most famous painters.
231
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,493
Last time I tried absinthe,
232
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,190
I tried to put my car
in my pocket.
233
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:33,888
ANGIE:
Come on.
234
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,890
Let's get crazy.
235
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,326
SAM:
Come on, babe.
236
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,501
[squeals]
237
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,677
Yeah.
238
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:41,722
Okay, yeah, yeah.
239
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:42,679
Yeah.
Yeah.
240
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,290
Perfect weekend!
241
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:46,509
[yelling]
242
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:47,728
No, no!
No!
243
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,686
Whoa, too much.
244
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:50,557
Oh, guys.
245
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,776
I don't feel anything.
246
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,125
SCHMIDT:
Well, those were just the best
247
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,779
ribs that I've ever had.
248
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:58,173
Ooh, you ain't lying, child.
249
00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,740
Thanks for dinner, Schmidt.
250
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:00,915
You know,
I really appreciate it, man.
251
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,743
I do feel supported.So what's next?
252
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,135
There is this one thing
that I miss.
253
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,659
I probably shouldn't say, man.
254
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:06,790
I can't.
No, come on.
255
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,096
It's us, man.
256
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,576
[sighs]
257
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:12,927
Schmidt, I could really go
for some crack.
258
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,624
What?
259
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:16,583
Crack cocaine?
260
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,541
I remember when I was a kid,
261
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,108
me, my mom,
262
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:22,023
and her mom, and well, her mom,
263
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,721
and then her mom,
and then of course her mom,
264
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,201
and then my little cousin,
Peanut,
265
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,725
they'd all rush back
to that flaming trash can
266
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:30,771
where we'd sit around
and harmonize
267
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,729
and just... ♪ shoo-op.
268
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:33,774
One of those
nights I remember,
269
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,471
well, we ran out of crack.
270
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,473
I'd grab my scarf,
and I would run on down
271
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,822
to the liquor store
where the thugs hang out,
272
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:41,782
and I would try to get
a good deal on some crack.
273
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:44,567
Whoo! They never would give me
a good price, man,
274
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:47,483
but, uh,
I tell you what,
275
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,573
there's nothing like the...
the feel of a fire,
276
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,793
a fresh-baked cookie,
277
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:56,971
and that sweet, sweet taste
of crack in your lungs.
278
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,627
Okay.
279
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,063
Okay, Winston, yeah.
280
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,587
Sure, I mean, if...
281
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:08,504
If that is something
that you want to do...
282
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,940
See, I knew you were
gonna judge me.
283
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:10,941
I knew it.
284
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:12,682
No, Winston.
285
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,858
I knew you were gonna judge me
and just...
286
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:17,600
Winston, listen to me.
287
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,080
Look...
288
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,951
if crack cocaine
is what you want,
289
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:23,606
then crack cocaine is what
we are going to get.
290
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,826
[muffled laughing]How do we do this?
291
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,784
Here's what we do, Schmidt.
We go to the projects, okay?
292
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,481
We knock on some doors.
293
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:30,787
I'll wait in the car
and take lookout
294
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:32,528
while you do all the legwork.
295
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,617
Because as you say, you are
in much better shape than I am.
296
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,401
You do have
the body of a Smurf.
297
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:37,838
We could... We could just
get frozen yogurt.
298
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,622
It's not a big deal.
299
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:40,797
Schmidt ain't about
no frozen yogurt.
300
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,713
I want to go score
some crack cocaine.
301
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:44,627
Really?
302
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,281
We're gonna do this.
303
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:57,858
Look at them.This is a cabin, guys.
304
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,860
Getting wasted on a couple
of shots of absinthe.
305
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,209
Word games, word games,
306
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,863
word games, word games,
word games.
307
00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,342
Doctor! Know what I saying...
308
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:07,694
[Jess squeaking]
309
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,652
I don't think I feel it.
310
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:10,871
I can't believe
I'm the sober one.
311
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,874
That's actually never
happened in my life.
312
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,527
[goofy accent]:
Who wants to play Charades?
313
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,138
[muttering]
JESS: Me.
314
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,748
One syllable,
one syllable.
315
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,445
[raspy laughter]Movie.
316
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:21,664
Gattaca.
317
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,753
Oh, I want to be them.
318
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:25,276
I have to run
upstairs for a sec.
319
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,670
I have it on good authority
my bed has disappeared.
320
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,933
I need to go check it out.
321
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:33,850
I got to head up there
and take care of that.
322
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:36,461
Oh, you-you're gonna
go upstairs?
323
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,768
Yeah, yeah.
Now?
324
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:39,769
Yeah.
325
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,815
Oh, ho-ho-ho, yeah.
326
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,730
Okay.
327
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:44,905
Have fun.
328
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:45,819
I will, I guess.
329
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:46,950
[sighs]
330
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,779
[chuckles]
331
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,086
Up.
332
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:54,871
Doesn't sound good.
333
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,743
[coughing]
Oh, Jess.
334
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,832
That sounded terrible.The absinthe
335
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,572
has found a new host.
336
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:01,878
The toilet.
337
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:02,879
[groans]:
Oh...
338
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:05,186
I like Angie.
339
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,492
She's cool.
It's kind of like
340
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:09,799
riding a poorly maintained
carnival ride.
341
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,540
I'm glad you get it.
342
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,020
I think she
really likes you.
343
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,893
All right.
344
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:18,721
Jeth... I'm not...
I'm-I'm with Jeth.
345
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:19,940
What?
ANGIE:
Hey, Nick,
346
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,637
look, we switched.
347
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,770
SAM [muttering]:
And look... middle
of the night...
348
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,601
What is the big deal?
349
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:32,953
I... why else did we all
go to a cabin together?
350
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,345
To hike?
[scoffs]
351
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,739
Guys, I'm still
really feeling it.
352
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,610
I just can't believe
you'd do that to Nick.
353
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:40,090
She didn't do
anything to me.
354
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,091
We have an open
relationship.
355
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,310
She can do whatever
356
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:43,441
she wants.
I don't care.
357
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:44,965
Enough. I'm tired of you
358
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,880
acting like this cool guy
359
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,882
with an "open relationship."
360
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,318
That is not you.
361
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:51,972
Yes, it is, Jess.
362
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,974
Why won't you just
let me be me? This is me!
363
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,976
I'm sorry.
I just don't believe you.
364
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,107
You're not this guy.
365
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,022
No, no, no, I'm not
feeling good...
366
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,198
At least we don't pretend
to be this perfect couple.
367
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:03,897
I do not pretend
to be a perfect couple.
368
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,115
The only reason that we're here
369
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,551
is 'cause you
asked us to come,
370
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:07,596
'cause you didn't want
371
00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,250
to be alone with Dr. Sam.
372
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:10,947
'Cause then you'd
have to be real with him.
373
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,819
Jess? Is that true?
374
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,951
Yes, but no...
it's out of context.
375
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,213
It's out of context, Nick.
376
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,563
You think you know
everything about me.
377
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,870
I'm a rock and roll guy.You are the guy
378
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,829
who asks me to light
matches for you
379
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:25,005
'cause you're afraid your
fingers are gonna get too hot.
380
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,007
I did that one time.Multiple times.
381
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,835
I was on the back of
a motorcycle earlier,
382
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,575
and I wasn't even that scared.
383
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,055
You don't think I'm crazy?No.
384
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,492
Would a sane
man do this?
385
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,364
[gasps]
Oh!
386
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:39,193
Oh![clapping]
387
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:40,803
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, hold on.
388
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,370
You're doing it.
You're doing a lot of it.
389
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:43,850
You need to just pace
it a little bit...
390
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,068
Oh, whoa,
that...
391
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,504
you're really
doing it.
392
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:47,854
[retches]
Whoa!
393
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,725
[sighs]
394
00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:55,992
Well?
395
00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:59,039
I suppose we could just
get out and ask any of
these street youths.
396
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,040
WINSTON: I'll let you get
out the car first.
397
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,128
Go ahead, do your thing, man.
398
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,520
I don't want to ask
the wrong person
399
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:03,870
and end up with
some sub-par crack.
400
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,393
I want the fresh
crack, you know?
401
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,961
Not some crack that's been
laying around all day.
402
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:11,225
Ooh... I'm really
starting to schvitz.
403
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:12,835
We don't have to do this.
Man, we could just
404
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,271
turn this car around,
forget this ever happened,
405
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:15,969
and get you some
frozen yogurt.
406
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:18,014
I will not let you deny
who you are any longer.
407
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:18,798
Not on my watch.
408
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:21,670
Schmidt...
Hey, psst!
409
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,846
Schmidt, no.
Yes. Skee-you!
410
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,543
Skee-you!
Schmidt!
411
00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:26,849
You, dude.
412
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:27,981
Don't call that man
to this car.
413
00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:28,938
Hi, how are you this evening?
414
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,940
What do you
guys need?
415
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,028
It's cool,
just get in the car, man.
416
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:33,856
What cool?Yeah, we're cool.
417
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,727
Schmidt, you did not invite
this guy in this car.
418
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,468
He could be crazy,
could have a gun.
419
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,079
That's a racist thing to
say, Winston, that he...Stop it, Schmidt...
420
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,689
Just assuming that
this man has a pistol.
421
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:41,864
Hi, sir.
422
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,126
How are you
this evening?
423
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:46,869
Um, the two of us
are very interested
424
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,088
in purchasing
some crack cocaine.
425
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:49,350
You guys cops?
426
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:51,091
What?Okay, let me out.
427
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,570
Schmidt, Schmidt...
I was just messing
with you, man.
428
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:53,920
Okay? I was just
trying to see
429
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,443
how far your stupid white
guilt would take you.
430
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,097
Have you ever
done crack?
431
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,968
Hell, no, I've never
done crack, man.
432
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,274
Why do you think I've done
crack? Because I'm black?
433
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,449
I thought you'd done crack
'cause you told me
434
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:02,754
the whole story
about you doing crack.
435
00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:03,930
I thought you guys just
needed directions, okay?
436
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,540
Let me out!Okay, sir.
437
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,150
Just calm down,
all right?
Oh, please, man.
438
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:09,326
Be cool.Fine, okay, look, you want it?
You want it? Look!
439
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:10,371
Whoa! No!
Oh my God, no!
440
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:11,589
Look, my wallet.No! No!
441
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:12,895
Take my wallet!Here's my wallet, okay?
442
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:14,244
Shoot the white dude!Just let me out...
443
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,680
Shoot him!
No, don't
shoot me!
444
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:17,508
Shoot him, man!But that's...
445
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:19,119
That's your
wallet.That's yourwallet.
446
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:21,251
Are you not
robbing us?You're not robbing me?
447
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,079
I don't want to
rob you, man.I thought you were gonna...
448
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,559
I totally misread
the situation.
449
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,082
I thought you
was robbing me.Oh, no, man.
450
00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,736
Oh, hey, man,
I'm Schmidt.Robert, man.
451
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:28,955
Robert.Nice to meet you.
Pleasure, man.
452
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,044
Robert, man, hey, man,
nice to meet you, man.
453
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,697
What a nice smile he has.All right, guys.
I'm just...
454
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,917
Okay. Here, I'll...
they're the child locks.
455
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,179
I don't even have kids, but...You guys have
a great night, okay?
456
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,964
You, too, man.Be safe.
Take care, Robert.
457
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,096
Take it easy, man.You guys have a good
night, man, all right.
458
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,271
That was insane.
459
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:42,794
I was terrified.
That... oh,
my goodness.
460
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:45,145
I judged...[screaming]
461
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,973
God, Robert!
Robert...
462
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:48,061
I just...
the wallet?
463
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:49,976
Oh, your wallet...
oh, your wallet.
464
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,542
Just give him
the wallet.I'm really sorry.
465
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,109
Yeah, it's
kind of...No, yeah, I get it.
466
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:54,284
I'd want my wallet back, too.
467
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,590
Thank you.All right.
Thanks, Robert.
468
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:56,939
I wouldn't thank him.Whoa, man.
469
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,941
What a hilarious
misunderstanding.
470
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,987
Schmidt, drive
the damn car.No, you're right.
471
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,205
[owl hooting]
472
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,442
You know, I feel
so much better
473
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,705
after throwing up
into the fire.
474
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:28,014
Uh, Sam, can you pass the bread?
475
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,973
Oh, sure thing.No, I'll pass
the bread, Angie.
476
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,367
Just keep your hands to yourself
and let the bread come to you.
477
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:42,202
Why do you keep
taking my bread?Oh, I'm sorry.
478
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,160
I thought you and the bread
had an open relationship.
479
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,858
I said I was sorry.
I thought this was an agreement.
480
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:48,991
I thought we were all cool
with this. I don't...
481
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,993
Absinthe!
482
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,213
Fun dinner.
Fun dinner.
483
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:55,693
I always have fun at the cabin.
484
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,260
You guys want to
pick my brain?
485
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,132
You guys want to know
what I'm thinking about?
486
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,003
I like dogs more than cats.
487
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,657
I like chipmunks
more than squirrels.
488
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,226
I believe in UFOs.
489
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,054
I once had a bass teacher,
490
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,012
when I was younger,
who did the standing bass.
491
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,667
And he had a very weird smell,
and I still think about it.
492
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,017
His name was Mr. Hilton.
493
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,454
I don't like the fact that
you tried to kiss Sam.
494
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,890
[sighs]
495
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:21,545
Because I have feelings
for you, Angie.
496
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:26,811
I'm... I had no idea, I'm sorry.
497
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:29,075
I know.
We said it was open, but...
498
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,078
I'm proud of you
for saying that.
499
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,210
Dr. Sam?
500
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,256
If you were a hat,
you'd be a top hat.
501
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,605
[snorts]
502
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:40,129
But like a really
big Monopoly one.
503
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:43,437
And I say that
of the deepest compliments.
504
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,091
Appreciate it.
505
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,183
Winston, I'm sorry.
I was just trying to help.
506
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,227
What, help me realize
that I'm black?
507
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:52,228
Schmidt, believe it
or not, man,
508
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,056
I've known that
for a while now.
509
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,927
I just feel bad you're forced
to live here with Jess and Nick.
510
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:58,060
Oh, wow.
I mean, they're
honky as hell.
511
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:00,193
And look at our people.
Look what we've given
to this country.
512
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:01,846
Jazz...
513
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,457
The management of
jazz musicians.
514
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,199
But, look, Schmidt,
being black means
515
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,765
whatever I want it to mean.
516
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,115
You know, the fact
of the matter is
517
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:11,117
I live in a loft
with three people
518
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,553
who happen to be white.
519
00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:13,989
But believe you me,
520
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,077
there is so much more
521
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,339
that I find annoying about you
522
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,907
that I haven't even
gotten to race.
523
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,648
Now, I'm gonna get
some frozen yogurt.
524
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,084
Would you like anything?
525
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,564
Yeah.
526
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:26,001
I'll have
a vanilla chocolate swirl.
527
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,916
No.
What, no...
528
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:31,137
No. I'll have
strawberry with jimmies.
529
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,964
Did you get that?
530
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,098
Hey.
531
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,491
How you doing?
532
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,319
[exhales]
533
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,103
Much better.
534
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:44,237
That alcohol got on top of me.
535
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,152
Oh...
I'm a little
embarrassed by that.
536
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,241
I'm sorry about Sam.
537
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,330
I... I thought it was cool.
538
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:53,115
Right.
And I try to ruin
things as soon as
539
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:54,290
they get good.
540
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,944
I'm working on it.
541
00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:58,816
Believe it or not,
I'm working on stuff, too.
542
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:01,558
You know, I just wish I was
working on less stuff.
543
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,604
You know, I've been arrested
three times.
544
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:04,996
Four times.
545
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,346
Four to five times.
546
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:08,217
I have tattoos
547
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,001
of bands that I don't
even like anymore.
548
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,351
By the way,
you've been really cool
549
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:12,526
about the "Jamiroquai"
tattoo on my butt.
550
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,919
I'm not asking you to change.
551
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:18,184
Just how about meet me
in the middle a little bit?
552
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:20,621
What do you want me to do?
Go to brunch?
553
00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:22,188
Are we supposed to,
like, read articles
554
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,406
and then talk
about them together?
555
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:24,494
Okay, I'm never
556
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:25,756
going to be that kind of girl.
557
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,758
I just want to do
something normal.
558
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:28,977
How about not
559
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:31,371
drawing pubes on my armpit
560
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:32,720
while I'm sleeping?
561
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:33,721
[giggles]
You think
you could
562
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,026
do something like that?
563
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,638
Yeah. Yeah.
564
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,205
'Cause I would really like
565
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,381
to keep this going.
566
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,297
Want to move your
twin bed over here?
567
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,386
Sexy, sexy, sexy.
568
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:47,648
[laughs]
569
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,258
Bird! Bird! Bird!
570
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,390
Bird!
Oh.
571
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:51,782
Help! Help!Oh, my God.
572
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,175
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
573
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,742
No big, I got it!
I'm on it.
574
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:57,179
Just a...
it was a painting.
575
00:18:57,223 --> 00:19:00,008
That's not really how
I wanted the weekend to go.
576
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,749
I thought the worst
thing that could happen
577
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,360
was someone wouldn't like
the cheese I brought.
578
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,320
I wanted it to be perfect.
579
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:10,105
Jess, when Nick said
that you invited them
580
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,411
because you were nervous...
581
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:14,196
No, don't worry about that.Jess,
582
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,329
we're not perfect.
583
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:18,287
Like the first time
we slept together,
584
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:20,202
like, I didn't even
know your real name.
585
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:21,595
Kind of a pretty sassy detail.
586
00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:25,033
Can we just concentrate
on the fact that, like,
587
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:28,254
I was tripping pretty
hard on absinthe
588
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,255
and I said, "No"?
589
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,082
To a stripper?
590
00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,215
I mean, a stripper was
like rubbing my leg...
591
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,782
That's weirdly...
592
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:37,437
the most romantic thing
I've ever heard.
593
00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:39,526
[laughs]
594
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:46,141
[birds chirping]
595
00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:00,416
Got it.
I left a
Post-it note
596
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,722
on the transformer
that said "Broken."
597
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,506
SAM: Is there any way that
we could make it look
598
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:05,421
like it was raccoon bites?A few announcements.
599
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,466
Uh...
600
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,903
Angie left. Me.
601
00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:11,471
What?
She took the
motorcycle,
602
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,255
and, uh, a few of my belongings,
603
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,691
but I'm still wearing
my underwear,
604
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,302
so she comes up short-handed
in that treasure hunt.
605
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:17,651
Seriously?Oh, I'm so
sorry, Nick.
606
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:18,913
I'm sorry, man.
607
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:20,306
It's fine; I'm a grown man.
608
00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:21,437
I will need a ride home.
609
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:22,612
Yeah.
Obviously.
610
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,397
I would love to pitch
in with gas,
611
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,268
but I don't have any money,
so I could pay in "Nick Bucks,"
612
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,313
fully redeemable
613
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,489
for smiles
614
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,273
and any one item from my bureau.
615
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:32,318
We'll hold you to that.
616
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,493
Thank you, Doctor.
617
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:36,496
[whimpers]
Don't, I-I'm good.
618
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,280
I know you don't
want to be hugged.I don't want to be hugged.
619
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,760
And I respect
that. So...Okay. 'Cause I'm fine.
620
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,283
Jess, no,
I'm good, I'm good.
621
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,329
I promise you,
I'm good.
Just...
622
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:44,678
Actually, this is
very weird for you.
623
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,375
I'm not hugging you.I know.
624
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:49,291
I'm sorry.
I promise you
I'm okay.
625
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,162
Stop making this a thing,
because I'm not sad.
626
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,426
This is for the best.Yeah. [grunts]
627
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,341
I'm fine.
She didn't
deserve you.
628
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,300
Whatever that means.
629
00:20:58,344 --> 00:20:59,780
Thank you.
SAM:
Okay, almost there.
630
00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:01,477
Hey, let's go!
All right.
631
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,349
Hey, the potato salad's
632
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:04,524
accidentally
in the garbage.
633
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,003
Look at that.
634
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:08,310
You guys mind if I eat
this in the back seat?
635
00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:10,356
You can eat salad
in my back seat anytime.
636
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,360
Didn't mean that to be sexual.
637
00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,926
[chuckles]
SAM:
All right, guys.
638
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,363
It's a little bit gamey.
639
00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:18,973
Okay.
640
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:20,366
I'll get the garbage, here.
641
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,193
Hold on, hold on.
642
00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:23,543
The absinthe.
643
00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:25,327
You almost threw that
out by accident.
644
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:26,676
Wow.
645
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,591
SAM: We're ready.
You all ready?
646
00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:30,463
Yep, I'll be right
with you guys.
647
00:21:32,943 --> 00:21:34,554
That was a mistake! Whoo!
648
00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:38,597
I am gonna poop weird tonight!
Yeah!... Oh that was a mistake.
42559
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