All language subtitles for Carols.Second.Act.S01E14.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Well, looks like Ms. Hirsch's
drug rash has almost resolved.

Uh, she's reacting normally
to the new antibiotics.

You know who's not
reacting normally? Jenny.

She's clearly
still into me.

Uh, that Jenny?

I thought she was the one
that called it off.

Yeah, but you can't
just call off chemistry.

We still got it.

Check this out.
Be cool.

Morning, everybody!

You feel that?

It's palpable.

Do I not know
what "palpable" means?

Buddy, it's over.

On your onlydate,

you abandoned the woman
at a restaurant.

That is not
what happened.

No, th-that's exactly
what happened.

The fat lady has sung, and the
song was called "It's Over."

[Caleb chuckles]

Well, I, for one,
am glad it's over.

Keeping secrets
makes me nervous.

Yeah, and you should
at least be happy

that Carol never found out.

Hey, guys.
What are you talking about?

What?Uh, nothing. Sports.

Oh, sports.
What about sports?

Just a lot of heteronormative
stuff about it. Bye.

That was a little weird.

Caleb's a little weird. You're
just questioning this now?

Come on, Carol!

Geez. We finally have
a night off tonight.

You'd think
people would be happier.

Well, you know, Mercury's in
retrograde, the winter blahs,

we work in a place
where people die.

Oh, Lexie.
There's a friendly face.

What are you doing
with your night off?Nothing.

Geez.Uh, sorry. Tough case.

Oh, is it anything
I can help you with?

Hands off, Carol!Oh.

Okay, Dennis,
something's up.

Do you know
what's going on?

Oh, um, well... Carol,
I can't do this right now.

I need to go to work.

You work right there!

You don't know my life!

Is no one
in a good mood?I'm in a good mood.

Everyone's in a terrible mood.

♪

[beep]

Okay, deep breath.[breathes deeply]

I'll tell you, Eddie,
I don't know what's going on.

With my liver?

No, I know what's going
on with your liver.

It's bad, and you
need a new one.

You know I can't understand
all your technical,

medical jargon, Carol.[laughs]: Yeah.

Now, the good news is

you're moving up
on the transplant list.

Yeah? I guess you guys
are all stuck with me

till my new parts come in.Aw.

Hey, Eddie,

you spend a lot of
time with everybody.

Have you noticed
people around here

being especially
grumpy lately?

No, but when one of
your organs doesn't work,

people try to be
positive around you.

Yeah.

It's one of the perks. Ooh.

That and compression socks.

Feels like my calves
are getting a nice hug.Oh.

Yeah, it just seems like the
interns are all out of sync.

You know, we became
really close this year,

and then now, we're just,
like, drifting apart.

And of course, it's my job to
bring everybody back together.

Because you're the elder?

No. I mean, obviously,
I'm the core of the group.

See, in the fruit bouquet
of our friendship,

Lexie and Daniel are
the cantaloupe and honeydew,

Dennis is the hard pineapple...

...Caleb is that weird fruit

you're not sure
if you should eat it or not...

...and I am the Styrofoam
that holds us all in place.

I like kiwi.

You're missing
the point, Eddie.

Maybe you're all
just overworked.

You're always
in the hospital.

I mean, if I leave here,
I'll die.

What's your excuse?

Yeah. You know
what, Eddie?

You're exactly right.

We all have tonight off.

Maybe we should
go out together.

Well, Lexie can't because she
has her stand-up show tonight.

What? Since when is
Lexie doing stand-up?

Shoot. I wasn't supposed
to tell anybody that.

I am the worst
at keeping secrets.

But people love
to tell me stuff.

I just have
one of those faces.

Huh. That would explain why
she was a sourpuss this morning.

She's nervous.

Oh, she's terrified. This is
her first open mic night.

Oh, this is perfect.

I'm gonna get everyone
to go and watch her.

We will bond as a group
while supporting our friend.

Man, I'm a good core.

Styrofoam!

The silver lining of
falling out of a treehouse

is that my son
uploaded it to YouTube.

The comments are mean,
but I like the attention.

Well, you fractured
your tibia

and fibula,
so you're gonna be in a cast

for six to eight weeks.

That long?

I got three little boys.

Plus, I'm a crossing guard
at a middle school.

I can't go to work on crutches.

Those kids will eat me alive.

Oh, don't worry. We've submitted
your claim to insurance,

so soon,
you'll be swinging babies

in a brand-new wheelchair.

Dr. Sommers.

A word?

Dr. Sommers, Deidre isn't
getting a wheelchair.

Her insurance
rejected the claim.

They approved her
for crutches.

Crutches? With three kids and
working as a crossing guard?

I mean, we might as well
break her other leg now,

'cause it's gonna happen.

This is what
insurance companies do.

They approve the option
that's cheapest

rather than the option
that's best for the patient.

I've battled the
insurance companies many times.

You never get what you want.

I find that people
respond to kindness.

Yeah, so maybe all
I need to do is

put a little bit
of sugar on it.

Oh, I see.

The insurance companies
would approve everything

if I was friendlier.

Well, watch out,
insurance companies.

Here comes Dr. Sommers
and his sugar.

Yeah. You're learning, and
that's what's important.

[sings quietly]

Lexie's doing stand-up?

Yes. And, you know, we've been
kind of a mess lately,

so I'm putting together
a secret group bonding trip

to go support her.

Pass.[scoffs]

Dennis, it won't be
the same without you.

You are the core
of this group.

That is true, huh?

I'm in.
Yes.

And we could use
the hang time.

Stand-up makes me
uncomfortable.

Daniel, it won't be
the same without you.

You're the core
of this group.

That is true.

I'm in.

And you know, you are
the core of this group.

No, I'm not.I know, but you
should come anyway.

Okay, I'm in.

I'm on the phone with
Tanya from insurance,

and she's delightful.

You might think
your sugar is working,

but I'm gonna tell you
exactly what's gonna happen.

You'll be bounced around
from rep to rep

and then placed on a brief hold
that will never, ever end.

No, that's not gonna happen.

We're vibing, and I'm
gonna get that wheelchair.

Observe.

All right, Tan Tan, let's get
to the next steps, shall we?

How do we get our girl Deidre
into a shiny new wheelchair?

TANYA:
Oh, that's gonna be easy as pie.

I'm guessing she needs
to talk to a supervisor.

I do need to talk
to a supervisor.

Probably to go over
logistics.

Just to go over some logistics.

And in order to do that...

Wait for it.

...I will need to put you
on a brief hold.

Oh, no, no. Maybe we could just
keep me on that... [groans]

[smooth jazz music playing]

Whatever. I could listen
to smooth jazz forever.

[laughs]

Then you're in luck
because you will.

[lively chatter]

[whoops] Isn't this fun,
hanging out as a group?

I think the last time
I was in a comedy club,

I was dating your dad.

Mm, looks like
the joke's on me.

Hey, you think I
should go up there?

No, Mom.
Let's sit down.Okay.

Hey, I didn't know
you invited Dr. Frost.

I didn't.

Well, either someone brought in
a Brooks Brothers mannequin,

or it's him.

Dr. Frost?

Oh, Dr. Kenney.

What are you doing here?

Well, I enjoy
amateur comedy.

Reminds me that laughter
is the best medicine.

Yeah.Except for morphine.

You can't beat
morphine. [laughs]

Just give up, man.
You've been on hold for hours.

No, it's for
a good cause.

Plus, I think the phone
is fused to my face.

Oh, you're here.

Yeah, I'm the core of the group.

Hey, I thought you said
Iwas the core of the group.

It doesn't matter if the core
is you or Daniel or clearly me.

[stammers]
Tonight is about

coming together and
supporting Lexie.

Look, anyway,
show's starting.[music begins, cheering]

Dr. Frost,
why don't you join us?

Oh, thank you. I love to laugh,
but laughing with others?

Now, that's a real
gift. [chuckles]

What's up, party people?[whoops]

Ha-ha! She's good.

Let me remind you,
it's a two-drink minimum

to see the show and
a six-drink minimum to enjoy it.

[laughter]

Dude, turn off
your phone.

I can't. I got to go,
but remember all the jokes.

The thing I love most about
comedy is hearing it secondhand.

Get ready for some funny.

Please give a warm welcome
to Lexie Gilani!

[cheering]

FROST:
Hang on.

I think that's
Dr. Gilani.

Hey, everyone.

[chuckles]:
Ooh. Bright.

Uh, I've actually
never done this before,

but, uh, I realized
I needed an outlet

when I got so stressed at work,
I stole a therapy dog.

[laughter]

Now that dog's in therapy.

Which is probably a good thing,
'cause his mom's a total bitch.

[laughter]

See, I'm a doctor, and I work
with a bunch of lunatics.

Oh, she's gonna roast us.

The head guy,

Dr. Frost--
he's old and brittle.

Every time he talks,
I keep thinking about

how easy it would be
to kidnap him.

[laughs]:
Yeah, it would be.

[laughter]

Although, when I'm talking,
she should really be listening.

Yeah.

And then there's Nurse Dennis
at the front desk.

Uh, he's like if Eeyore was
a six-foot-five black dude.

[laughs] Spot-on.

Eeyore's the sexy one, right?

And then there's
this old lady doctor Carol.

I guess I didn't
need to say she was old.

No one's named their kid "Carol"
since the Great Depression.

Ah, then there's always
the cocky, hot doctor.

He thinks
he's God's gift to women.

Guilty as charged.

But if that's the best
God can do,

he's not invited to my birthday.

[laughter]

Bring a receipt, God!
[laughs]

'Cause I'd return him.

[laughter]Uh, so there's

this pharma rep.
Uh, she's pretty hot.

I'd give her, like, a 8.5.

Like, out of eight?

Ooh, ya burnt.

And to add to the craziness,

Hottie Point Five and God's Gift
were dating.

[laughs]

That's a good one.
Wait, what?

Jenny and Daniel?

Mom? Mom, are you good?

Are you ever
gonna talk again?

Jennifer, you know I don't like
to make a scene in public.

I can't believe you dated Daniel
and you never told me about it!

Mom, it wasn't
that big of a deal.

It was just one dinner.

And Daniel didn't even wait
for the food to come out.

[chuckles]:
That's not the whole story.

That is exactly
the whole story.

You knew, too?

Okay, well, I guess maybe
my only real friend here

is Dr. Frost.

Well, I must admit
I also knew.

I actually went on the date
with them.

What?!

Oh, it's not what you think.

It wasn't a double date.

It was just me and them.

Okay. Good night.

Oh, my God,
I have been such a fool.

I thought I was the one
bringing the group together.

Turns out the group has
been together,

keeping a secret from me.

How fun.

Carol, it wasn't
a secret.

It was something that I was told
specifically not to tell you.

Mom, don't blame them.
This is on me.

I just didn't know
how you'd react

if you knew that I
went out with Daniel.

This is how I would react.

Are you crazy?!

Daniel?!
There's so many reasons

why going out with him
is a bad idea.

He is my coworker.
He's your coworker.

Plus, he's vain
and insecure.

If I'm vain, then how
can I be insecure? [chuckles]

Oh, no.
Did you guys all just get here?

I just wandered in myself.

We saw your show, Lexie,
and we're not happy.

Lexie, you were better than that
girl who played the tambourine.

I'd have to say
my favorite joke of yours

was the one about
kidnapping Dr. Frost.

That or the one that made
my mom stop speaking to me.

I can't decide.

Again, I didn't
invite any of you.

If I'd known you
were gonna be there,

I would've played it safe
with my Muslim lesbian stuff.

Oh. Wait.

There's my mom.Mm.

She looks
less mad, right?

Totally. Carol!

Over here!Mom.

Hey, friend!

JAKE:
OMG.

It's happening.
Be cool.

JENNY:
Oh, God.

She's gonna do that thing
where she pretends

to be better friends
with someone else.

I know she's just trying
to make us feel bad,

but it ismaking
me feel bad!

Hi, Jake.

Hey, do you know anything
about Daniel and Jenny?

Oh, no. What happened?
Did their Crohn's flare up?

What? No.

Oh. I only guessed that
'cause my Crohn's flared up.

Oh.

Well, I guess we're
the last to know, hmm?

Know what?

[laughing]

[both laughing]

Wow, he's really
making her laugh.CAROL: Oh, my God.

Weird. I thought he'd just
talk about his Crohn's again.

[laughing loudly]

Yeah. I guess it is
kind of funny

that my digestive tract
makes such loud noises.

[Carol laughing loudly]

JAKE [laughing]:
Thank you, Carol.

You've given me a whole new
perspective on my illness.

Mm.Thank you.

[mellow instrumental music
playing over phone]

Wh-Why is your phone
in a plastic bag?

Well, I had to shower
with it.

You had to?

RECORDED VOICE:
Your call is important to us.

Oh, don't lie to me,
you heartless robot!

Come on, pick up,
you coward!

RECORDED VOICE:
We appreciate your patience.

You are the next caller
in the queue.

[panting]: Oh, my God.
I'm the next caller.

Oh, I'm almost there.

Ooh, I can taste
that wheelchair.

[phone beeps, music stops]

Uh... oh, my battery.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't have my charger on me.

Do you have a charger
for a flip phone?

Do you have a needle
for my record player?

Come on, man,
I'm not that old.

No, you're not.

But you know who isold?

Old people.

[grunts]

Geriatrics, I need
your lost and found, stat!

Oh, yes.

Charger. I'm saved.

Everything's gonna be okay.

That's so good to hear.

So there's no sign of
bacteria in the cultures

from your paracentesis, and
your bilirubin has improved.

In other news, Eddie,
I'm a lone wolf now.

I ride solo,
just like you.

I'm actually very popular.

Is this about
Daniel and Jenny dating?

They told you,
too?! Okay...

Shoot. I did it again.

I got to get people
to stop telling me secrets.

Love hearing 'em.
Can't keep 'em in.

Okay, here I thought
I was the Styrofoam;

turns out I'm
the cellophane.

First thing
you throw away.

You throw away
the Styrofoam, too.

Yeah. Why do you hate
metaphors, Eddie?

You know, Carol, this might
just be the perspective

of a guy who lives
in a hospital,

but I think
you're overreacting.

[sighs]
I know. It...

it's just that this place
has become my whole life.

I-I always thought
that I was as important

to everyone else
as they are to me.

Knowing that I was the only one
on the outside of something--

it hurts.

Look, I-I told you,
I'm very popular.

Yes, I get that, Eddie.

So I know all
the hospital gossip--

who's dating, who's fighting,

who has a podcast
about Siamese cats.

Dennis.

Is that another secret?No.

He's real proud of it.

But I also hear the truth

about who people like
and who they don't,

and everyone
in this hospital loves you.

Really?

Do they call me the
core of the group?

I don't think anyone
calls anyone that.

Yeah.

But I do know you're
very important to them.

[sighs]
Thank you, Eddie.

This really makes
me feel better.

I'm glad.

Oh. Uh, not to ruin
this moment,

but Bad News Jake
loved your lunch.

He's gonna ask you to be
his plus-one

at his cousin's wedding.

[sighs]

I hope it's not a
destination wedding.

You know, he used to have
a crush on his cousin.

Dang it!
I did it again!

Oh! This is fantastic!

I can move. I can go to work.

I can chase my sons.[laughs]

Right, it's still gonna be
a tough recovery,

but hopefully this'll help.

Now, give it
a whirl!
Okay.

Ooh, watch out.

Too fast, too furious.

[laughs]

I can't believe
insurance agreed to pay

for an even nicer wheelchair
than the one we requested.

Yeah. I mean, uh, you know,
it just, it just goes to show

that behind all the
bureaucracy and red tape,

an insurance company is just a
collection of human beings...

I know you paid for it.

The insurance company's
full of monsters.

Tanya's a demon.
The system doesn't work!

[sighs]

So, Dr. Sommers,
what's your plan?

To pay for every patient
insurance won't?

Yeah. That was my plan.

And to get
emotionally invested.

I appreciate your instincts.

It's admirable.

Really?

You're not mad?

No. I...

I once paid for a
patient's insulin pump

after insurance denied it.

When I can help, I do.

But it's not
sustainable.

One person can't
pay for everything.

I hear you,
but I have a trust fund,

live in a one-bedroom apartment,
and I mostly eat beans.

Well, then, buy all the
wheelchairs you want.

Hey.

Hey.

How you holding up?

[sighs] Not great.

My mom's furious at me.

Yeah, no kidding.
Me, too.

I'm sorry.

And over nothing.

Less than nothing.

I mean, we agreed not to date.

It's the wrong time.The wrongest.

Even if we
really wanted to.Which we don't.

Not at all.It's ridiculous.

Never gonna happen!

Hey.

Hey.

Does this mean you're
speaking to us again?

I may have overreacted a little.

Okay, a lot.

I don't know.

If I heard Daniel
was dating my daughter,

I'd fly into
a blind rage, too.

I know,
but it wasn't that.

It was hearing that you guys
were keeping something from me.

It just made me feel left out.

I'm sorry.
It was a hard choice:

keeping Daniel and Jenny's
secret or being open with you.

If it was just
Daniel's secret,

we would've told
you immediately.

That's okay.
I should apologize to you.

I mean, I learned a lot today,

but the most important thing
I learned

was that you guys love me.LEXIE: Mm.

That is an odd apology.

And I want you guys
to know...

I love you, too.

Oh.Ooh. I hope there's
hard pineapple.

Next time we have
a night off,

let's all just grab
a drink together.

Yes, and we can invite
Daniel andJenny.

Aw. That's big of you.And thank goodness

they didn't get
together, right?

I would have to
change careers again.

[chuckling]

This is gonna be amazing,

in that it's going to be
terrible.[chuckles] I can't wait.

All right, remember,
be supportive.

Okay, uh, first,
I'd like to thank Dr. Gilani

for inspiring me.

This is my first time,

so I'll admit
I'm a little nervous.

[clears throat]

Here goes nothing.

What's the deal
with airline travel?

Am I right?

Sometimes those towels
in first class are so hot

you can barely use them
to open your pores!

[laughs]

And if you're gonna be
out of sweet vermouth,

maybe don't call the Manhattan
your "signature cocktail."

Huh? Am I correct
in this assumption?

MAN:
What are you
talking about?

Your mom. [chuckles]

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