All language subtitles for American.Housewife.S04E14.A.Very.English.Scandal.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-NTb-eng

Alright, Viv,
I'm ready to wrap this up.

How far have we gone?

[ Cellphone beeps ]

0.8 miles.

What?

But we have been walking
for an hour!

It's been 11 minutes.

Ugh. Exercise messes
with my internal clock.

You're on your own.

Oh, come on!

Ugh.

I'm tired of always
being on my own.

[ Sighs ]
But you have Violet.

She's 2.

Her legs are dimply
like yours,

but she does not have
your wit.

I like the wit part,
so I'm overlooking the rest.

You know, I am a strong,
independent woman

who's totally capable
of raising a kid alone.

I'm just...

I just miss having someone
to share my life with.

But I don't want another

self-absorbed
Westport banking guy.

I want a good guy.

You need to find
someone like Greg.
Ugh.

In fact, if he doesn't stop
snoring, you can have my Greg.

I would love a Greg.

I just don't know
how to spot one.

That is why I need you
to come out with me
and be my wingwoman.

I don't have
that kind of time.

I'm raising kids.
I run a business.

I just thought
because you were the one

that convinced me
to reject my ex

and stand
on my own two feet

that you might
want to help.

I could see
why you'd think that,

but I do not.
[ Car approaches ]

[ Car horn honks ]

Called a Lyft.

You can either keep your face
or your ass, Viv.

I choose my face.

♪♪

Hey, Mom.
How was your walk?

Stupid.

Walking is stupid, son.
Remember that.

You need a hand?

I could skip school
and make lasagna with you.

You're being helpful.

I demand an explanation.

I'm just...nervous about
going to school today.

Why?

A kid from school came out to me
on Teen Help Line.

But I think he was worried
I was gonna out him,

so he posted on Instagram
that I was gay,

and the whole school
saw it.

Are you sure this isn't just an
elaborate story you're making up

to tell me something
about yourself?

I'm not gay.
Fine.

So, why don't you just
tell everyone at school
that it's just a lie?

If I do, I'll just be confirming
all of this guy's worst fears,

that being gay
is something to be ashamed of.

I have to lead by example

and show him
that people thinking I'm gay

is not a big deal.

So, you'll be gay for him,
but not your own mother?

That is some takeaway.

♪♪

Viv:
Oh, hey, Katie!

Gotta stay in shape if I'm gonna
find a guy by myself!

I used to be able
to count on you

to be the worst one
in the family.

But now you're running around
helping people.

Seriously, Oliver, look at what
you're making me do.

Viv, I'm in!

We'll find you
a Greg!

Whoo! I love it!

I'm here for you, girl!
[ Chuckles ]

This is who I am now.
Hope you're happy.

♪♪

Ta!

Katie, good news.

My brother's flying in
from England.

He's lecturing at Yale.

[ Gasps ]
Let's set him up with Viv!

What?
She's lonely,
he's lonely.

She said she wanted a Greg.
He's a Greg.

Katie, relationships
aren't just math.

They move in ways beyond
arbitrary connection --

You're stalling.

I don't want him
to be with Viv.

I want him to be with me.
He's mine!

Look, if I had a sister

from my father's
secret second family,

I would pimp her out
to your annoying friend.

There's no way
to prove that.

That's why I feel confident
throwing it out there.

My brother's going to stay
with us for a few days.

I'm really excited to do all
the typical brother stuff

we missed out on --

antiquing,
reciting soliloquies --

C'mon! Viv wants
all my attention.

She's up my butt
about this.

And she's
really skinny right now.

She might accidentally
slip up there.

I'm not setting up
my brother with Viv,

and I don't want to hear
another word about it.

Great.

Now I'm frustrated,

and I'll probably brush my teeth
too aggressively.

If my gumline recedes,
it's on you.

♪♪

[ Students whispering
indistinctly ]

Young man: It's him.

Young woman: There he is.

They're walking together.

[ Whispering continues ]

People are staring.

It's either because
they think you're gay,

or I look stunning
in paisley.

Having not done it
many times before,

doing the right thing
is an incredible hassle.

Hello, Oliver.
Oliver's boyfriend.

Oh, I'm not his --

None of my business.
[ Chuckles ]

I heard your news.

You know that conversation
we had the other day?

I want to clarify
a few things.

♪♪

Principal Ablin,

would you throw my name in
the hat for Distinguished Pupil?

It'd look good
on my college application.

You're Katie Otto's son.

Yes.

Then no.

I do not care for
the people you associate with.

When I said "the people
you associate with,"

I certainly hope that it was
clear that I meant your mother,

not other gay people.

I hadn't given it
much thought.

Until now.

Now it's all
I can think about.

Oh.
[ Clears throat ]

Maybe being named
Distinguished Pupil

will take it
off your mind, huh?

Does that come with a letter
of recommendation perhaps?

It does.

I'll write one up
tout de suite.

[ Scoffs ]
You see that?

He's falling all over himself
to keep me happy.

Huh. Turns out being gay
is the same as being rich.

♪♪

What are you doing
with your stuffed animals?

[ Sighs ]
I was just at Penny's house.

She re-did her room.

All of her little kid stuff
is gone.

She made The Jump,

and all my friends
have, too.

So, if I ever want
to have anyone over,

it's time I get rid
of all this.

I get that.

I don't know if I can
get rid of my ponies.

Especially Glittermane.

She was brought to life
by a dark wizard.

It's not gonna be
a clean kill.

When I was making
The Jump,

the one thing I couldn't
get rid of was my Barbies.

Couldn't let 'em go.

So, what'd you do?

I went cold turkey.

I threw them in the trash
and watched as the garbage truck

took them away forever.

Then I guess
that's what I'll do, too.

After feeding them
and bathing them

and taking in
one last glorious sunset.

Don't judge my process.

♪♪

Otto bros
in the house!

Katie!
Greg!

It's so nice
to see you again.

I've got Greg's office
all set up for you.

Oh, do you have
an adapter?

I need to plug in
my rainforest noise machine.

Greg always travels with
a rainforest noise machine.

Even though we were brought up
on different continents,

we have so much in common.

We're both academics.

We both like
crustless sandwiches.

War reenactments.
A cappella groups.

♪ Yes, we ♪

[ Harmonizing ]
♪ Do-ah ♪

[ Chuckles ]
Wow.

On the way here, Greg wanted to
try a real American donut,

so we stopped off at the --
[ Shudders ]

It's too cold
in my office for him.

I'm sure he's fine.
No.

See, we have
this cosmic connection

where I can tell
what he's feeling.

Okay, I'm just gonna
head this off now.

You're not twins. You don't
even have the same mother.

You're just two dorks
who share the same horny dad.

Pip pip, Ottos!
Viv is here!

[ Door closes ]
Did you tell her
about my brother?

What? No.

People say "Pip pip."

Hello.
[ Gasps ] Oh!

I'm Greg's brother
Greg.

I'm Viv.

I heard you were coming

and I wanted to
make you feel at home,

so I made you
some crumpets.

Crumpets?
[ Giggles ]

You are
so thoughtful.

Greg, who is this angel?

Come, sit, tell me
everything about yourself.

Uh, were you a C-section?
Were you a breach?

I want to know every detail,
right from the start.

This Greg is so much
better than yours.

I told her not to be
her everyday awful self,

and he's totally
buying it.

I specifically told you not to
set up my brother with Viv.

Yes, but when are you going to
stop asking me

not to do things that you know
that I'm going to do anyway?

It puts me in a very
uncomfortable position.

This is your fault.

Viv's eating up my time
with my brother.

They were out
late last night.

They got back
early this morning.

At this rate, we're never
gonna get to play chess.

I'll play chess
with you.

Yeah, okay.

Mm.

Hello, all.

Ah.

Viv and I had
the most magical morning

strolling through the park,

talking about our lives,
our dreams.

Did you know she wants
to move into a cottage?

A cottage
seems a little small

for a woman with...
a child.

Violet?
I love that Viv has a kid.

It's like having
a starter kit.

Starter kit for what?

What are you starting?

A family, I guess.

I know I'm getting
ahead of myself,

but I feel like I'm in
the middle of a romantic comedy,

where you meet someone,

and 90 minutes later, you're
running through the airport

as Liam Neeson
cheers you on.

[ Chuckles ]
It's "Love, Actually."

It's infatuation,
at best.

I hope you don't mind,

but I made Viv
my plus-one to the lecture.

I mean, you were just coming
to be nice,

but Viv is genuinely interested
in the lasting impact

that the Norman Conquest had
on the Flemish people.

She never
shuts up about it.

So, I'm not going
to the lecture?

I knew you'd understand.

Thanks, mate.

We need to put
a stop to this.

Oh, honey. You know I never
put your needs before mine.

♪♪

Goodbye,
old friends.

How do you feel?

Older.

I think I might
even start writing

with pencils that don't
smell like fruit.

Hmm.

♪♪

So, it's day dos.

What's life like
out of the closet?

A few whispers.

My ex-girlfriend walked up to me
and said, "That makes sense."

Didn't care for that.

But overall,
pretty good.

Hello, boys.

Don't mean to
interrupt your date,

but, uh, I have
a letter of recommendation.

One page?

This seems more like
a "note" of recommendation.

Oh, this?
[ Chuckles ]

This is just
a rough draft.

I'm going to flesh it out,
obviously.

Obviously.

And print it
on 28-pound cream-linen paper.

Thanks, sport.

Hey, watch this.

Hey, Oliver!

My eyes are up here,
not down here!

[ Chuckles ]
Dude, don't be
like that.

So not cool.

Yeah, what he did
took real guts.

Besides, what does that
have to do with you?

I...

♪♪

Greg's brother
is really into Viv.

He's talking about delaying
his flight back to England

so he can spend
more time with her.

What does your Greg
have to say about that?

He's mad.

But he's not looking
at the big picture.

Viv is off my hands.

No more walks,
no more guilt --

I think it's you who's not
seeing the big picture.

Yeah, she's right.

If they get serious,

Viv could be
your sister-in-law.

[ Gasps ]

Don't you ever
say that.

Well, what did you think
would happen

when you set Viv up
with your brother-in-law?

Well, I never think
two moves in advance!

That's why I'm bad
at Connect Four!

Sister-in-laws suck.

All the e-mails,

who's making what
for Thanksgiving,

Christmas spending limits?

Ugh! And you just know
she's gonna want to

take that family
jumping picture on the beach.
Mm-hmm.

Ugh, where we're all
barefoot in jeans,

wearing white linen shirts.

I mean, don't worry,
though.

I really only saw
my sister-in-law a
few times a year.

It's not like
she lived in Westport.

Hmm. That-- That's
a good point, Angela.

Mm-hmm.
You know, Katie,

hey, uh, remind us --
where does Viv live again?

Across the street.

[ Both laugh ]

This is your house.
This is her house.

[ Laughs ]

They're so close!
[ Laughs ]

Okay. Alright.

♪♪

Greg?!

[ Door slams ]

What?
We have
to break them up.

What is it going to take for you
to make me listen to you?

Are you trying to make
it my fault that you
constantly ignore me?

Sorry! I'm very flustered
right now!

And I'm hot!

Viv and Greg
are walking up.

Time to destroy
their love.

[ Both laugh ]

Hey! Come sit.
We're gonna have some lunch.

Oh!
Didn't you tell them?

Oh, shoot.

Viv made
plans for us.

I meant to text,

but it's been pretty hard
to focus lately.

Mm.
A-At least we've worked out
our couple name.

Right, Griv?

Ooh!
[ Laughs ]

I want to show him
my favorite place in town.

The waxer?

No, silly!

The cannons
on Compo Beach.

It's where
the British invaded

and the Americans
held them off.

Except this American's
gonna let you right in.

Ooh!
[ Chuckles ]

U-S-A!

U-S-A!

Viv, before you go, why don't
you and I take a power walk?

Now?
Right now.

[ Gasps ]

You finally caught
the exercise bug?

I've been working
on you for years!

Ohh!

Huh.

I wonder if you'll still have
that big, beautiful head

when you have
that little, tiny body.

Okay.

I'll miss you.

The elements
be kind to thee

and make thy spirits all of
comfort -- fare thee well.

Fare thee weller.

Not a proper
comparative adverb form.

[ Sighs ]

Well, this gives me
a chance to pack.

But I thought you changed
your flight.

I did.
I'm moving in to Viv's.

How did I not
feel this coming?

♪♪

You can't go to Viv's.

Why ever not?

Listen, Greg, Viv is just
looking for a sugar daddy.

What are you talking about?
She has a huge house.

It's not hers.
She's broke.

She's only with you
for your money.

Really?
Really.

Oh, wow.

It's no wonder things are
moving so quickly.

And why she seems so
into the Norman Conquest.

Nobody cares about it
that much, British Greg.

I do.

I wasted
so much time with her

when I should have been
hanging out with you.

Hey...

I just got so caught up
in everything.

It sounds so silly now,

but I think that was the first
time I'd ever been in love.

Really?

I suppose life doesn't work
like a romantic comedy

'cause it lasts a lot longer
than an hour and a half

and, it seems,
has no happy ending.

Turns out I'm not
Prime Minister Hugh Grant.

I'm just department store
Mr. Bean.

Maybe a game of chess
will cheer you up.

[ Sighs ]

I'll get started.
You'll get into it.

♪♪

Ugh.

Viv, you're moving
too fast.

I know it seems
like it,

but things just feel
so right with Greg.

No, I'm talking about us.
Walking.

Oh.

But also
about British Greg.

You don't even know him.

I know
all I need to know.

And his name
is Greg Otto.

[ Gasps ]

Oh my God!
Katie.
Mm-hmm?

We could both be
Mrs. Greg Ottos.

[ Gasps ] We could do one of
those awesome family photos

where we all wear
matching outfits on the beach.

British Greg is only
looking to marry someone

so that he can get
his green card,

and then he's going to
dump them after.

What?

Greg told me.

This is why you wanted
to walk with me?

To tell me?
It's not because
you like walks?

Yes.

Wow.

Two betrayals at once.

It just felt so real
with Greg.

How could it
have been real?

You weren't even
acting like yourself.

Well,
that's the thing --

with him,
I was being myself.

My old self.

The person I was
before I came to this town

and got so caught up
in the culture of

"Who are you wearing?"
"Who makes that bag?"

"Why are you friends
with Katie?"

I'm so sorry.

If it helps,

I didn't call a car
to come pick me up.

You probably should.

I think I need to
be alone right now.
Oh.

Come on.
Let's walk.

We'll talk!

Okay, well, I'm obviously
not doing that.

♪♪

[ Camera shutter clicks ]
How do I look?

Like the school's
newest Distinguished Pupil.

Being gay has really
worked out well for you.

And me.
What do you mean?

I can't even count
the number of girls

telling me how sensitive
and evolved I am

for having
a gay best friend.

You're like walking
a really cute dog.

You're so bad.

I think I can say
stuff like that now.

[ Chuckles ]

Hey, you guys need to see
what Will just posted.

Hi, everyone!

I need to
tell you something.

First, I owe
Oliver Otto an apology

for that post I made up
about him.

Oliver, you're a good guy
who went out of his way

to show me I could live
a happy life as my honest self.

Oliver's not gay.

I am.

Oh.

Look at that.
He just came out.

And you just got in'd.

That's too bad.

You were so interesting
for a while.

♪♪

Ugh.
Where is your brother?

I have to talk to him.

The plan worked.

He's on his way
to the train station

so he can catch
his original flight.

He was pretty upset, but it
was the right thing to do.

It was
the wrong thing to do.

What Viv and Greg had
was real,

and we ruined it.

Are you sure?

Wait.

You're right.

My brother's heart is broken.
I can feel it.

Call him.

This is Greg.
Straight to voicemail.

Alright. We're going to
the train station.

What about Viv?

We have to find her.

We were running,
and I lost her.

Okay, she was running,
and I walked home.

I called an Uber,
but I met it at the corner.

Alright, it met me
at my exact location.

You broke me.
You happy now?

♪♪

I hear
the garbage truck.

This is really
the end of --

What the hell
is that?!

Oh, it's my last Barbie.

The only one
who survived that day.

I watched from the window

as the truck slowly crushed
my dolls.

I can still
hear their screams --

"You're killing me!"

"Why is this happening?"

"I had
a house in Malibu!"

You made it sound like
it was no big deal.

Turns out it was actually
super traumatizing.

I ran downstairs
as the truck drove away,

and I found her by the curb
next to the trash bin.

She must have jumped out
at the last minute.

[ Chuckles ]

It's a good thing I dressed her
in her high-tops.

Well, what are we
gonna do now?

Let's go get
those ponies!

♪♪

Viv, let's go
get your man.

In that car?

Shut up
and get in.

[ Tires screech ]

You can't
park here!

We have to!
She's in love!

Oh!
I didn't realize!

Announcer: Train 638
to Grand Central Station

now arriving
at Platform Two.

Oh, no.
I don't see him!
[ Groans ]

Greg, do you
feel him?

I'm kidding.
That whole thing is stupid.

♪♪

♪♪

You can't steal
my childhood!

Do you live here?
Yeah.

Tell your parents to start
tipping at the holidays.

♪♪

[ Gasps ]
Oh! There he is!

Greg!
Greg!

Katie.
Greg?!

What's going on?

You're not
going anywhere.

Viv, Greg told me --
I was lying.

They can't
be trusted.

Please stay.

[ Sighs ]

I would love to.

[ Squeals ]

♪♪

They seem genuinely
happy together.

Even if it's not
what's best for us,

we did
the right thing.

♪♪

Don't tell Viv,

but I got
the better Greg.

♪♪

[ Gasps ]
Come play with me and Violet.

I'm watching her
while Viv and Uncle Greg

are with Mom and Dad.

Are those my ponies?

Violet found the box.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

Hi, Violet.

You like
these ponies?

They need
a good home.

You can take them with you,
if you'd like.

I want you to meet
Sergeant Sparkles.

He's my favorite.

If you ever get scared
or just need a friend...

I promise he'll
always watch over you.

Because his eyes
never close.

I'm really proud
of you.

You just made The Jump.

I did.
[ Chuckles ]

You should give her
your Barbie.

Uh...

No.

♪♪

Well, well, well.

Look who's no longer
a member of a protected class.

[ Chuckles ]

Obviously, Distinguished Pupil
is out of the question.

Here's the recommendation
I missed "NCIS" to write.

[ Spits ]

Here's the real one.

"Detention."

See you then, sport.

♪♪