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00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:03,880
Tobie:
Welcome to"Just Roll With It"!
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00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,629
(theme music plays )
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00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:08,301
(kids cheering)
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00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:11,550
♪♪
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00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,478
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
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00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:18,636
‐Let's!
‐Go!
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All:
"Just Roll With It"!
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00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:26,938
‐(bell ringing)
‐(kids cheering)
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00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,324
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
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00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:32,201
(audience cheering)
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00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,160
Tobie:
Yeah!
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00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,286
(all cheering)
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00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,000
(audience clapping, cheering)
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00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,050
Welcome to
Just Roll With It!
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00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,875
(audience clapping, cheering)
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00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,550
A show where
the studio audience gets to vote
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00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,090
on what happens to us
in scenes.
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00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,184
(audience clapping, cheering)
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00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,887
And the show where
I've learned
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00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,270
to prepare
for the worst.
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00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,557
(audience clapping, laughing)
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00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,360
It's cute you think
the bubble wrap will save you.
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00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,781
So, when you hear
this sound:
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00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,485
(foghorn blares)
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00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:12,106
You get to vote.
And we'll have to:
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00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:15,084
All:
"Just Roll With It"!
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00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,615
(audience clapping, cheering)
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00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,250
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
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00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,955
♪♪
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Okay, everyone T‐minus
two minutes
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till General Barnswallow's here.
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00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,342
We gotta make sure
this place is spotless.
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00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:34,012
Are these cookie crumbs?
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00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:36,051
I just cleaned this.
Who's been eating cookies
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00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,564
on the banister
in the last five minutes?
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00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,466
(muffled dialogue)
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00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,812
I gotta go finish
cleaning the toilet.
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00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,811
I'm so excited
Rachel's old commanding officer
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00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:47,404
is coming to stay with us.
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00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,229
Is he as awesome
as Rachel made him sound?
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00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,204
If by awesome you mean
unfunny, annoying,
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00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,525
boring, and just, like,
a total drag to be around,
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00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,281
then yes. He is awesome!
44
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,788
Come on, Blair.
Isn't Caleb your godfather?
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00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:04,037
Yeah, but I wasn't
really consulted on that decision,
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00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,791
seeing as I was a baby.
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00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,962
If it had been up to me,
I would have picked Liam Hemsworth.
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00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:12,416
‐Solid pick.
‐Good choice. Incredible cheekbones.
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00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:14,974
And I've also heard
he's just, like, nice.
50
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,928
‐I've heard that.
Just, like, super grounded. ‐I like the whole family.
51
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,679
Guys! What are you doing?
52
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,272
Just talking Hemsworths.
You brought it up.
53
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,768
Let's stay on topic.
Caleb is the worst.
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00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,152
Well, I'm sure it'll be fine.
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00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,399
Any friend of Rachel's
is a friend of mine.
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00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,611
Except for Eileen.
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00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,151
‐I can't stand her.
‐The worst.
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00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:37,074
‐Come on. Come on.
She talks so much. ‐(doorbell rings)
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00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,539
‐Caleb!
‐Rachel!
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00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:45,167
(chuckles)
Oh! Ah!
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00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,459
This must be the
beautiful family I've heard so much about.
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00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:51,460
I'm so glad my book tour
brought me to Akron.
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00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,263
Not so glad they couldn't
spring for a hotel room.
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00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,757
Well, you're more than welcome
to stay here for as long as you'd like.
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00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,310
Well, I see you keep your house
in tip‐top form.
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00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,925
Besides those cookie crumbs
on the banister over there.
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00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,194
You must be Byron.
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00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,016
I'm so sorry I wasn't able
to attend the wedding.
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00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,482
That weekend I was overseeing
a political transfer of power
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00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,744
in a foreign state.
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00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,485
Right. I heard.
How'd it go?
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00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:18,027
Not good. Big mess.
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00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,331
Well, think I'll go
lay some barb wire
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00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,906
for us to crawl under
on our big hike tomorrow.
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00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,462
‐Say what, now?
‐That's right. 5:00 a. m.
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00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,536
Caleb's leading us
on one of his famous
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00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,802
pre‐dawn, entirely
uphill fun‐runs.
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00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,255
Wait. Are you joking?
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00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,415
Wait.
Are you joking?
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00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:39,594
Because that is awesome!
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00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,394
♪♪
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00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:47,103
This is the best day ever!
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00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:50,112
(grunts)
The fun‐run would have been amazing on its own.
84
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:53,815
But doing it with a backpack
full of bricks was mwah!
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00:03:55,360 --> 00:04:00,030
(panting)
I think I might be allergic to exercise.
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00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,286
I don't think
I would have made it if Caleb hadn't carried me
87
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,115
that last half mile.
88
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,250
It was no trouble.
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00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,287
You are surprisingly light.
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00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:15,174
If anyone needs me,
I'll be upstairs researching how to get adopted.
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00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,591
I'm gonna go upstairs
and disconnect her Wi‐Fi.
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00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,393
You still up for barbecuing
later or would you rather order in?
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00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,177
I promised this man
a Byron Burger.
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00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:25,601
He's gonna get
a Byron Burger.
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00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:29,189
You are too kind.
Please allow me to help.
96
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:35,066
All right.
If you wouldn't mind peeling the potatoes
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00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,236
while I get started
on the meat, that'd be great.
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00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,605
(chuckling):
Sure.
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00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,862
Ooh, I'll help, too.
100
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,123
Being useful
makes me feel alive.
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00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,411
That ought to do it.
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00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:56,169
(chuckles) Whoa.
You're a potato‐peeling pro.
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00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,631
My dad usually takes,
like, five minutes a potato, and there's way more blood.
104
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:04,183
Oh, uh, Byron, you're not
supposed to put potato peels
105
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,759
down a drain. It'll clog.
106
00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:08,104
Trust me. I know my sink.
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00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,229
(loud clattering)
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00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,347
Dad, is that
supposed to happen?
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00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,984
(clattering)
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00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,985
Luckily, I got one more trick
up my sleeve.
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00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,406
Rachel, call the plumber!
112
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,655
Don't waste your money.
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00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:28,698
I have a mini‐plumbing kit
right here on my keys for just such an occasion.
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00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,463
Well, hold up,
your old man's been known
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00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,416
to plumb it up on a pipe or two.
116
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,746
Let me just pop the hood
and give it a look‐see.
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00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,973
Ah, yep! This is a classic clog!
118
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:43,385
‐(pipes bursting)
‐(clattering)
119
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:46,215
(Byron screaming)
120
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,271
‐Owen: Dad, what happened?
‐(screams)
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00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,095
(foghorn blares)
122
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:54,190
(audience cheering)
123
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,227
(clapping)
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00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:58,781
‐(bell dings three times)
‐Host: Okay, audience.You get to vote
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00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,525
on which body partByron hurt.
126
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,528
You know what could be
in pipes? Cockroaches.
127
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,321
(yells)
128
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,914
Host:
The votes are tallied.
129
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,329
On the cupboard door,
there is gonna be a note.
130
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,458
Take this note off of
the cupboard,
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00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:13,915
and you're gonna read it.
132
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:16,205
‐(bell ringing)
‐Host: Let's go backto the scene.
133
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,042
Director:
Action!
134
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,174
‐(pipes bursting)
‐(Byron screaming)
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00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,301
Aah! Byron!
136
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:25,139
‐(Byron yelling)
‐Owen: Dad, what happened?
137
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,965
Aah!
138
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:31,519
When the pipe burst,
I hurt my neck! Ow!
139
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,056
‐(bell dings)
‐Hurt your neck?
140
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,269
‐Sit.
‐Owen: Okay, Dad. Dad.
141
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:39,110
Major Rachel, get down here.
We got a man down on the field.
142
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,987
‐Get the MASH unit working!
‐All right, copy that.
143
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,525
‐Owen: Dad, Dad.
‐Here you go, my friend. Right here. Do not move.
144
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,989
‐Gauze, coming in.
‐Let's start with the gauze. You hold this.
145
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:49,160
‐All right.
‐Uh, thank you so much.
146
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,159
‐This ought to help.
‐Owen: All right.
147
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,576
‐Mm.
‐I'm also a board‐certified magician.
148
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,791
‐Byron: Okay, great.
‐Rachel: Reflex test.
149
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,711
‐Can't wait to see.
‐Reflex test. Face me, please.
150
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,050
‐Okay.
‐And now me.
151
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,085
‐(slaps)
‐Rachel: Face here, face here.
152
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,588
‐There you go.
‐Okay, great.
153
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,180
‐The power of reflexes.
‐This way.
154
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,135
Caleb: Let's make sure
his brain hasn't been dislodged.
155
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,885
‐(Byron groans)
‐Let's check the ear canal.
156
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:11,307
Caleb: Yeah, let's get that.
I think he has... All right, hold still, sir.
157
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,096
‐Okay. It's right?
‐(trombone blares)
158
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,769
(screams)
159
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,228
‐(audience laughing)
‐Caleb: Major, it's time for Betsy Ross.
160
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:20,318
‐Flying in.
‐(high‐pitched voice) Hello, I'm Betsy Ross.
161
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,315
‐Hi, Betsy.
‐How do you do?
162
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:26,197
‐I'm good. I'm Byron.
‐Do you have any ideas for the flag? I'm working on it.
163
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,986
‐You should just
make it prettier. ‐Prettier? Like me?
164
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,200
‐Go ahead and say it.
‐You're so pretty.
165
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,161
‐You're fresh!
‐(Byron yelling)
166
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,001
‐My neck! My neck!
‐Caleb: Stay away from him!
167
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,706
‐What are you doing?
What is that all about? ‐My back! Aah!
168
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,457
‐Byron, you're gonna wanna
bite on this for the pain. ‐(squeaks)
169
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,250
‐(groans)
‐All right, we gotta test your reflexes, here.
170
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,964
‐Catch these on your nose.
‐(Byron groans)
171
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,634
‐There we go.
‐(Byron groans)
172
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,973
All right, that's good.
173
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,547
‐Give it a honk.
Give it a big honk. ‐(squeaks)
174
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,352
Caleb:
You know what? This thing is totally broken.
175
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,716
‐We gotta get a brace on there.
‐Rachel: Coming right up.
176
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:56,103
Caleb: All right,
make sure this, uh‐‐ the gauze is still‐‐
177
00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,101
Are you‐‐
Did you find it down there?
178
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:01,313
Yeah. You keep it
very organized.
179
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,694
Yeah, it's very organized
down there. Yeah.
180
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,532
‐We missed you
when you were gone. ‐I missed being there.
181
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:07,988
Yeah, here. Take these now.
182
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,737
‐There you go.
You hold onto that. ‐Thank you.
183
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,279
‐Give him one more squirt.
‐(honks)
184
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,123
‐(audience laughs)
‐Owen: So...
185
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:17,499
he has to wear that
for the rest of the time?
186
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,117
‐That's it.
‐That's right.
187
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,004
‐(laughing): The whole‐‐
‐(audience cheering)
188
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:27,131
(cheering, clapping continues)
189
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,262
♪♪
190
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,680
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
191
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,636
All right.
192
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,977
First burger goes to
the man of the house.
193
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:46,147
I was talking about
your father.
194
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,241
Oh. Right.
195
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,197
Thank you, son.
196
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,779
All right, Owen.
197
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:57,754
This next one has
your name written on it.
198
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,336
Wh‐‐ Why it‐‐
199
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:09,049
It's juicy and bursting
with flavor!
200
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,336
Just like a good burger
should be.
201
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,098
(tearfully)
I didn't know they could be like this.
202
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:21,104
Stupid, juicy,
well‐seasoned burger.
203
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,187
Everything okay, Dad?
204
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:27,069
You've been muttering
to yourself more than usual.
205
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,947
Considerate, thoughtful son.
Always asking about my muttering.
206
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,374
Somebody raided
my candy stash.
207
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:40,537
Ooh! Sorry, Blair.
Didn't mean to rain on your parade.
208
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,868
But when I was deep‐cleaning
the carpet earlier,
209
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,294
I saw the contraband.
210
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,092
As I knew
it was a violation,
211
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,836
I felt compelled to report it
to your mother.
212
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,877
‐But Mom!
‐Caleb was right to let me know, hon.
213
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:53,132
All that candy is bad for you.
214
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,144
Now, eat your
double‐bacon burger with extra cheese.
215
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,386
And don't forget
to slather it up with the dipping lard.
216
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,848
Hey. Have you noticed
my dad's been a bit off
217
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,563
since Caleb got here?
218
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,773
Yeah, Caleb's a dill weed.
219
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,440
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
220
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,244
Of course I am.
But we'll never get away with it.
221
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,319
We won't get away
with cheering Dad up?
222
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:20,584
Oh. That's what you were
talking about.
223
00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,708
That's not really my thing.
But knock yourself out.
224
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,956
♪♪
225
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,638
‐Hey, champ.
‐(groans)
226
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,222
How's it going?
227
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,062
Fine, I guess.
228
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,888
I don't know.
229
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,273
Feels like now's a good time
for one of our
230
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,442
son‐father chats.
231
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:55,315
So, is there anything
you want to share, or get off your chest?
232
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,821
No.
233
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,406
Maybe.
234
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:04,504
Does it have something to do
with Caleb being here?
235
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,714
It's just, he's starting
to make me look bad.
236
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,261
He even upstaged me
last night when we were out dancing,
237
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,755
and you know the dance floor
is my sacred space.
238
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:18,968
‐(foghorn blares)
‐(laughing)
239
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:22,220
‐(audience cheering)
‐(squealing) Yeah!
240
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,483
Host:
All right, audience.
241
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,056
What type of danceshould our cast do?
242
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,192
So, you two change.
243
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,820
Just so you know,
I'm actually in on this one.
244
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:36,107
So you'll hear me say
a lot of things that aren't true.
245
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,032
Director:
There will be a menu.
246
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,081
You will read your new line
from that menu.
247
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,195
Host: Votes are in.Now back to the scene.
248
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,583
Man:
Rolling.
249
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,119
Director:
Action!
250
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,252
He's starting to make me
look bad.
251
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,089
He even upstaged me last night
when we went out dancing.
252
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:54,045
And you know the dance floor
is my sacred space.
253
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:02,311
‐Hey, Caleb? (laughs)
‐Yeah? Yes?
254
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:06,055
How about a good,
old‐fashioned hip‐hop dance competition?
255
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,599
‐(bell dings)
‐(audience cheering)
256
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,153
Oh, boy.
257
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:13,016
‐Yeah!
‐Rachel and I will go first.
258
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,944
(audience cheering)
259
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:19,284
‐(hip‐hop music plays)
‐Aah! Aah! Aah!
260
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,118
Aah!
261
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:24,738
Aah!
262
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,334
(audience laughing)
263
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,170
Check it out, check it out.
264
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,625
Here we come.
265
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,879
(audience cheering)
266
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,133
‐Caleb: Yeah.
‐Audience (chanting): Caleb! Caleb!
267
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,393
‐Caleb! Caleb!
‐Caleb: No!
268
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:44,006
‐Audience (chanting);
Caleb! Caleb! ‐Hey, hey, hey. Hold on.
269
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,103
You wanna dance?
Oh, geez.
270
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,560
‐Byron: Yeah!
‐Sir, you want‐‐ Come on!
271
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,269
‐Ladies.
‐(audience laughing)
272
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,360
‐Byron: You gotta pick.
‐Caleb: You.
273
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,649
‐Caleb: You want to go?
‐Rachel: Yeah!
274
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,989
‐Come on.
‐(all cheering, clapping)
275
00:12:56,985 --> 00:13:01,195
Worst day of your life.
Worst day of your life.
276
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,117
Yeah, you're gonna be great.
277
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,826
And you're gonna do
most of the work for me. (laughs)
278
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:10,208
All right, young lady.
Shall we dance, madam?
279
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,786
‐(hip‐hop music plays)
‐Byron: Yeah!
280
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,381
Huh! Huh!
281
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,546
(audience cheering)
282
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:25,513
(hip‐hop music continues)
283
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:44,874
Audience (chanting):
Go, Caleb! Go, Caleb! Go, Caleb! Go, Caleb!
284
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,616
Go, Caleb! Go, Caleb!
285
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,296
Byron:
He's‐‐
286
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,876
He's killing it!
He's killing it!
287
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,722
‐(music stops)
‐(audience cheering)
288
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:06,598
‐(rhythmic clapping)
‐Audience (chanting): Caleb! Caleb!
289
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,926
‐Caleb! Caleb!
‐Audience (chanting): Caleb! Caleb!
290
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:15,774
You don't get it.
The guy's too perfect.
291
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:19,479
What I'm saying is,
there's stuff you're good at, too.
292
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,114
Yeah, right.
You're just saying that.
293
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,451
I'm gonna go ride my bike
around the neighborhood
294
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,737
and maybe go to a store
and get some more cookies.
295
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:31,447
‐Just remember,
don't talk to strangers. ‐I know!
296
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,874
(door slams)
297
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,752
You shut that door
the right way!
298
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,540
(sucks teeth)
299
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,924
(door softly closes)
300
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,430
I'm worried about Dad.
This Caleb thing has really got him down.
301
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:51,808
Per usual, I am five steps
ahead of you. Check this out.
302
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:56,728
Whoa. This says that Caleb
is being deployed to...
303
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,317
The Bermuda Triangle?
304
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,612
Yep. I forged a letter
from the government.
305
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,991
He'll get stranded,
and then be eaten up by giant crabs.
306
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,739
Our problems are
as good as over.
307
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:16,673
But Blair, we need to boost
Dad's confidence.
308
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,093
What's the one thing Dad has
that Caleb doesn't?
309
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,166
‐Rollerblades.
‐True, but not what I was going for.
310
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,182
Dad has a sense of humor.
He's great on the radio.
311
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,085
And that's what we need
to remind him of.
312
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,974
If we get him and Caleb
on the air at the same time,
313
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,682
it'll be a big win for Dad.
314
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:34,982
And that's when we strike Caleb.
315
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:39,017
No, Blair. The plan is done
at that point.
316
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:43,234
We just get them both
to the station and let Dad shine.
317
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:47,164
I'm gonna go talk to Rachel
about Caleb promoting his book on the show.
318
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:52,825
Humiliate Caleb on the air
so he'll leave and never come back?
319
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,157
Mu‐hahahahaha!
320
00:15:56,664 --> 00:16:00,794
Rachel: Blair?
What did I say about laughing evilly?
321
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,593
Sorry, Mom!
322
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:05,087
(softly):
Mu‐hahahaha!
323
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,969
♪♪
324
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:11,636
(audience cheering)
325
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:20,352
♪♪
326
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,228
Okay.
327
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:26,399
Now it's time for
"Operation Make Caleb Look Dumb on the Radio"
328
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,952
so he never comes
and stays with us again.
329
00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,735
Still workshopping
that title.
330
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,829
Owen:
Dad, I know you're feeling insecure,
331
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,209
but the radio is
your home court!
332
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:41,877
This is your chance
to show Caleb how good you are at this!
333
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,416
I don't know. Maybe.
334
00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:47,795
Hey! Why don't you play
with your sound board?
335
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,968
That always cheers you up.
336
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,011
(fart sound on sound board)
337
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,595
(laughing)
338
00:16:56,599 --> 00:17:00,099
See? Fart sounds.
You love fart sounds.
339
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:02,192
Now try pressing this one.
340
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,941
Owen
(over sound board): I believe in you, Dad.
341
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,822
You're gonnado great.
342
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,951
I see what you did.
343
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:17,040
You replaced one of my
fart sounds with a message to cheer me up.
344
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,286
That's sweet,
but don't mess with my sound board anymore.
345
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,828
Hooah!
Time to battle the airwaves. (chuckles)
346
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,884
Thanks for having me
on your show, Byron.
347
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:30,168
Now, I understand your program
is a comedic one in nature.
348
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:32,548
Should I adopt a looser,
349
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:36,352
more genial and jovial tone
while on‐air?
350
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:38,267
‐Whatever you like.
‐Caleb: Oh, sorry.
351
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:41,766
We're live, in three, two...
352
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:43,229
Radio Singers:
♪ Byron and Gator ♪
353
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:46,109
‐♪ During drive time! ♪
‐And welcome to the show, everybody!
354
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,817
(chuckles)
355
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,147
I am here today
with a dear family friend
356
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:54,702
and decorated military vet,
General Caleb Barnswallow!
357
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,539
Caleb is here to read
from his new memoir:
358
00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:00,615
General‐ly Great.
359
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,331
(clears throat)
360
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,171
"My name is Caleb Barnswallow.
361
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,997
"I have a giant stinky butt,
362
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,963
and my favorite food
is boogers."
363
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,928
Wait a minute.
364
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,135
My favorite food is
a salted, hard‐boiled egg
365
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,757
and a glass of
room temperature tap water.
366
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:22,524
And I believe my butt
to be of average size.
367
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:25,098
Someone's been tampering
with this book.
368
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,984
There's tomfoolery afoot!
369
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,571
‐Well‐‐ Well, don't‐‐
‐(foghorn blares)
370
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:32,607
‐I knew it! Yay!
‐(audience cheering)
371
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,276
(laughing)
372
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,742
‐(bell dings)
‐Host: Time for the last vote.
373
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:40,913
What should happen next?
374
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:44,171
I'm genuinely frightened
this time. (laughs)
375
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,785
Director:
There's gonna be a new line of dialogue
376
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,212
‐that you're gonna
read aloud from the book. ‐Sounds great.
377
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,551
Host:
And let's go backto the scene.
378
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,047
Director:
Action!
379
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:57,389
Somebody tampered with my book!
There's tomfoolery afoot.
380
00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:00,136
It's a good thing
there's a second copy for me to read,
381
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,719
which is on the podium.
382
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,058
Oh, brother.
Let‐‐ (laughs)
383
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:08,021
Let me just put on
my reading goggles
384
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,482
and walk over there.
385
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,237
‐No!
‐(squeals, claps)
386
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,988
Nothing‐‐
(chuckles)
387
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,068
‐Nothing good ever happens
with goggles. ‐Caleb: No.
388
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:22,753
‐No. Okay.
‐Byron: You look good. (laughs)
389
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,155
Blair and Owen:
You won't look good for long!
390
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,964
(audience laughing)
391
00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:30,088
"My name is Caleb Barnswallow.
392
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,996
‐I am a giant‐‐"
‐(Blair squeals)
393
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,094
‐(gushing)
‐(audience yelling)
394
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,301
‐(bell dings)
‐(audience cheering)
395
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,684
‐That was so much!
‐Byron: Aah!
396
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,062
(laughing)
397
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:47,478
(audience cheering)
398
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,978
‐(Byron laughing)
‐(Caleb laughing)
399
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,860
Audience (chanting):
Caleb! Caleb! Caleb! Caleb!
400
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:55,698
You know, I‐‐
401
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,905
(Byron yells)
402
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,025
(audience exclaiming)
403
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,623
(audience cheering)
404
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,376
(laughter continues)
405
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,205
‐I've been meaning
to get that roof fixed. ‐Caleb: Yes!
406
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,131
(chuckles)
Yes.
407
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,260
We don't have to use
the booth. We could just have a conversation.
408
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,717
‐Oh‐‐ Okay.
‐Yeah, come on.
409
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,508
‐Hold on. Wait a minute.
Some of this is in the way. ‐Yeah, give me some‐‐
410
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:23,723
Oh!
411
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,933
I love it. I love it, baby.
I love it. I love it.
412
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,143
(Rachel, Blair shrieking)
413
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,314
Byron: Yes!
Yeah, I'm gonna‐‐ I'm gonna take one with you.
414
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,272
I'm gonna
take one with you.
415
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:36,153
(audience cheering)
416
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:39,202
Uh, yeah, l‐let's just
have a conversation.
417
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:43,616
‐Okay.
‐(Caleb, Byron laughing)
418
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:46,697
Uh...
(laughs)
419
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:48,874
Oh, no!
420
00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,083
Caleb's freezing up on air.
421
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,586
Blair, you're grounded.
422
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,086
Worth it!
423
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,966
Caleb's mic is experiencing
some technical difficulties,
424
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,506
so let me tell you
a little about his book.
425
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:05,100
Uh, it's a griping memoir
from a true, modern‐day hero.
426
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:08,887
‐What'd you do, like,
eight tours of duty? ‐Uh, yeah, that's right.
427
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:12,483
I mean, that's incredible!
This man liberated an entire village,
428
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,190
earned a medal
for valor,
429
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,820
and is the only man
I'd wake up
430
00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:19,486
to do an entirely uphill
fun‐run with. (laughs)
431
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,107
As a matter of fact,
432
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,703
I want to give this guy
a round of applause.
433
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,869
Owen (over sound board):
You don't needall those cookies, Dad.
434
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,408
You're my hero.
435
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:31,538
Sorry. My kid was in here
messing with this thing.
436
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:34,960
Anyway, it's a great book
by an even greater guy.
437
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,960
So let's show some thanks
to a man that's done so much for all of us.
438
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,974
Um, we're gonna take
a quick break, but before we do,
439
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:44,136
I wanna leave you
with your four o'clock fart sounds!
440
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,806
Owen (over sound board):
I feel blessed to be ableto call you my dad.
441
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,347
Owen!
442
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:54,061
‐Dad, you did incredible.
‐Go wait in the car.
443
00:21:54,772 --> 00:21:57,022
What? I was just trying
to help.
444
00:21:57,024 --> 00:22:01,204
Three buttons, Owen?
These fart sounds put food on the table.
445
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,906
I'm so proud of you, honey.
446
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:08,078
You really saved Caleb, there.
(chuckles)
447
00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:09,617
(Blair giggles)
448
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:11,040
I gotta thank you, Byron.
449
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:13,538
I had you pegged as
a supreme beta male.
450
00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:15,041
But you really
had my back there,
451
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,092
and that shows me who you are.
452
00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:20,626
And you wouldn't have
that respect for him
453
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,421
if I hadn't messed with
your book.
454
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:26,008
I guess that's true.
So, I owe you thanks, as well.
455
00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,429
Blair, you did that for me?
456
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:32,851
Gotta say, I think you have
a pretty special family.
457
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,602
We do, don't we.
458
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:41,027
What part of "in the car"
do you not understand, Owen?
459
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,396
Yeah, Owen!
460
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:45,113
‐Blair, you're still grounded.
‐Still worth it!
461
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:49,077
And that's our show!
462
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:52,576
You guys have been
a great crowd!
463
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,040
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
464
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:56,379
(audience cheering)
465
00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:02,208
(cheering, clapping continues)
466
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:04,932
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
467
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:10,224
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
468
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,145
♪ Na na na nana na na na ♪
469
00:23:21,195 --> 00:23:25,745
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